Chapter 11

Jack led Lisa around the house and showed her the rooms and where things were that she might need in the future. The tour around the house didn't take very long, but it was necessary to help give Lisa some independence moving forward.

"Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate it. I feel so helpless. Knowing where things are will allow me to do things on my own. At least a little bit anyway. There's still a lot I can't do by myself."

Lisa wanted to get cleaned up, but she was going to need some help. She didn't want to ask Jack for help, but she also didn't want to hurt his feelings. She could see how much it hurt him sometimes when she shut him out. It was an unfortunate side effect of losing her memory. Although Lisa had gotten to know Jack in the last few days, she couldn't just flip a switch and be in love with him. She hadn't even figured out if she was willing to see if she could have feelings for him in the future. Everything was still so new and confusing to her. Lisa made her way to her bedroom to grab her phone. She wanted to text Amy and see if she could assist her with cleaning up and changing clothes. Lisa sat down on the couch after Amy replied that she would be there in about 20 minutes.

Jack was unsure where he was needed. Lisa seemed to be fine on her own for the time being, so he grabbed the newspaper and sat down in his chair to read it. He kept checking on Lisa periodically.

Lisa was looking at some of her text messages and was trying to work out how she knew them and what their relationship was. She could feel Jack looking at her, and it was kind of getting on her nerves. She let it go the first few times, but she'd finally had enough. "You're watching me. It's weird."

Jack's shoulders dropped. "I guess I am. I'm just worried, and I don't know how to do this. I want to give you the space you need, but also be here when you need help."

Lisa felt for Jack. She knew he was struggling. "You need to relax a little and stop worrying so much. I'm just sitting here looking at my phone. I'm not going to break."

"I know. I'm trying. I promise." Jack was willing to do what Lisa needed, but he wasn't good at hiding his feelings from her.

Amy walked into the house, and Lisa pretended to be surprised. "Oh, Amy. It's good to see you. Hey, I was thinking about getting cleaned up and changing clothes. Do you have any wipes I could use? I was also wondering if you know which soaps and shampoos are mine?"

Amy quickly caught on to what Lisa was doing. "I have some hand wipes. Little kids are messy, and I keep some on hand for when we go out on trail rides. Let me grab them from my room. Oh, and I do know which soaps are yours. I'll help you with that after I get the wipes."

Lisa got up from the couch and grabbed some clean clothes from her room, and brought them into the bathroom. Amy was in there setting things out for Lisa to use. Lisa shut the door and moved closer to Amy. In a quiet voice, she said, "Thank you. Jack feels bad every time I remind him that I don't feel comfortable with him helping me with things that are a bit more intimate because I don't remember ever being intimate with him." Lisa saw Amy make a face when she said "intimate" and knew she'd said the wrong thing. "Is that too much information? I'm sorry if it was."

Amy nodded. "Yeah, but I'll get over it. Just please don't ever refer to you and grandpa being…" Amy shuddered, "intimate ever again.

Lisa laughed at Amy's reaction. "I'm so sorry. I won't. I promise. This whole situation is just hard to navigate. Thank you for helping me get cleaned up."

"I can't imagine how hard that must be for both of you." Amy said sympathetically. "I'm happy to help with this. I remember when I injured my shoulder a few years ago. Ty helped me at first, but then after he was gone, Lou took over. There are just parts of your body you can't reach using only one hand."

Lisa was thankful that Amy was being so understanding. "Exactly. I can get most of it, but there are places that are just impossible. I can't wait to be out of this cast. Speaking of the cast, I was thinking that I should just use wipes around it. I'm really tired right now, so I may just use hand wipes today, and then tonight or tomorrow, I'll be a little more thorough when I wash up. I hate feeling dirty, but bathing seems so complicated right now."

"It is complicated, but you'll figure out what works for you so that you can be comfortable." Amy finished getting the parts of Lisa's back that she couldn't reach, helped her fasten her bra, and then left Lisa to finish up.

When she was done, Lisa gathered her dirty clothes and left the bathroom. She stopped next to Jack on her way to the bedroom. "Hey, I'm pretty tired after getting cleaned up. I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay. That's fine. I might work on some of my flies."

"Flies?" Lisa wondered if she'd misunderstood him.

"For fly fishing," Jack explained. "Go get some rest. It will help your body heal."

Lisa went back into the bedroom and closed the door. Once she was alone in her room, she sat down on the bed and quietly laughed, thinking about the awkward conversation she had with Amy. No one wants to think about their grandparents like that, and she had to go and put that thought in Amy's head. Lisa shook her head in amusement. She got up and pulled back the covers so she could lie down. Once she had all her pillows arranged, she got in and tried to go to sleep. Her mind wandered to the idea of being intimate with Jack. After thinking it over, she came to the conclusion that if she developed feelings for Jack, she wouldn't be against it, but she just wasn't there with him and she didn't want to force it. Settling that in her mind helped her to relax, and she fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Jack had finished reading the paper and got up to work on his flies. He had been at it for a couple of hours and was fully focused on the task at hand. He didn't notice when Lisa opened the bedroom door.

Lisa stood in the doorway to the bedroom and watched Jack. She was still trying to figure out who this man was. She was surprised that she was married to someone so much older than her, but she also had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't in her early 40s anymore. It was hard to remember until she looked in the mirror and saw a woman in her late 50s staring back at her. Lisa didn't want to get caught staring at Jack, so she quietly went back inside the room and came out making more noise. "Hey. How's it going?"

Jack turned to look at Lisa. "Hi, Lis. Did you have a good nap?"

Lisa sat down on the couch. "I did. It has been so nice to sleep without worrying that a nurse is going to barge into my room and wake me up. I get that it's their job, but it's really frustrating as a patient."

"It's one of the worst parts of being in the hospital," Jack commiserated. "Hey, do you want some lunch? It's about time for it."

"Yes, that sounds good. It's time for my pain medication as well. I don't want to get behind on it again. Quite honestly, I'd love to stop taking it so I can stop being so sleepy all the time, but then I'd be in terrible pain. I guess I can't win here."

Jack brought Lisa her pain meds and water and the set about making a couple of sandwiches. He set lunch on the table, and they sat down to eat.

"Have you thought about how you're going to handle things at Fairfield?" asked Jack. "I know you didn't have much coming up. It's part of the reason we went out to the fishing cabin when we did, but I don't know about the next few weeks."

Lisa sighed. "I have thought about it, but it's scary for me right now. There's just so much that I don't know. I've been looking through my texts and emails, but I don't know what anyone is talking about."

Jack looked at Lisa with a serious expression on his face. "Call Edwin and have him come here to the house. He's a good guy. If you're nervous about the whole thing, Amy and/or I can be there too. I just don't want you to have business troubles because you're afraid. You had some money troubles a few years ago, and it was so stressful for you. It would be a million times worse now with memory loss."

Lisa sighed again. "I know. I really do want to get back to work. I'm good at it. It just feels so overwhelming, and I don't know where to start. I'm afraid of ruining my reputation. I guess I'll text Edwin first. He did text me and say to call or text any time once I was feeling up to it. I guess I just keep hoping that my memory will come back and I won't have to deal with any of this."

"Did you talk to Amy about any of this when she was in here before your nap?" asked Jack.

"No, she just helped me a little bit and then left." Lisa wasn't about to tell him that she had traumatized his granddaughter by referencing their sex life or lack thereof as it is currently.

"Talk to her tonight and work something out with her. Or I can help too. I just want you to do what's best for you."

Lisa was once again surprised by how sweet and caring Jack could be. He looked like a gruff cowboy, but as she got to know him, she saw that he was kind, gentle, caring, and loyal. As much as she wasn't in love with him, she could see how she did fall in love with him. "I'll talk to Amy tonight, but I'll also text Edwin and see if he can stop by in the next couple of days. That will give me a chance to get familiar with things. Do I have a computer here?"

Jack shook his head. "No, I remember you said you were leaving it on your desk at Fairfield so that you wouldn't be tempted to look at it while we were getting ready to go to the fishing cabin. We have been working a lot lately, and we needed a weekend away for just the two of us."

"Do I fish when we go up there?" Lisa couldn't imagine going fishing willingly.

Jack smiled and said, "You do. One of our first dates was up there. You may have led me to believe that you were more of a fisherwoman than you were. It didn't take me long to find out the truth, though. You left the price tag on some of the gear you had bought for the trip."

"I can't believe I did that. I never do things like that."

"You were trying to impress me. Not that I needed to be impressed." The look on Jack's face said that he was very impressed.

"How did I do fishing that first time?" Lisa asked.

Jack laughed at the memory. "Your hook got caught in a tree, so we shared my fishing pole."

"We shared? How does that work? I didn't think fishing was a team sport."

Jack was now very amused. "I think you said the same thing back then. We shared by you standing in front of me and me having my arms on either side of you."

Lisa wanted to roll her eyes but controlled herself. "Did I really fall for that move? I must have really liked you."

"You did, and you did." Jack smirked. "You fish on your own now, and you've gotten pretty good. When we took Katie up there for the first time, I was injured, so you were the one to fish with her. I taught her how to fish at the pond, but you helped her to fish in a river. I was very proud."

Lisa generally really liked hearing about the life she had forgotten. It helped her to understand her relationship with Jack. Although she wasn't willing to admit it yet, she was starting to consider Jack a friend. It was all just too complicated now. Lisa pulled out her phone, pulled up her texting app, and sent a text off to Edwin to see if he could stop by Heartland sometime soon to talk about how it is going at Fairfield.

Just then, Lyndy and Katie came into the house with Lou and Peter following close behind. Lyndy ran to give Jack and Lisa hugs. She sat down between them on the couch, talking a mile a minute about her day at school. Katie came through and said "hi" on her way upstairs.

Lou came in to check on Jack and Lisa. "Hey guys. How's it going? I hope you enjoyed the quiet today because, as you can see, that doesn't happen later in the day."

Lisa smiled at Lou. "I did. I was able to get cleaned up a little bit and take a nap. Oh, and I learned that I can fish now."

"Yeah, you and Grandpa like getting up to the fishing cabin whenever you can. Grandpa loves to fish, and you do things he loves in order to spend time with him." Lou turned to address her grandpa. "Have you heard from dad at all today, Grandpa?"

"Nope. Not one bit. Why?" Jack had enjoyed the time without Tim around bugging him and asking inappropriate questions.

"I was just wondering if he'd be here for dinner."

Jack chuckled. "You know they'll show up right before or right after we sit down to eat."

"Well, I'm going to get started on dinner. I guess I'll just make sure we have enough for Dad and Jessica in case they are here." Lou went into the kitchen to get dinner going.

Lyndy looked up at Lisa. "Do you remember me yet?"

"What do you mean, honey?" Lisa was taken aback by Lyndy's question.

Lyndy looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Mommy said that you hurt your head, and now you forgot about lots of things. Did you forget about me too?"

"I forgot about everything for the last 17 years. That's a long time, huh?" Lisa absentmindedly began playing with one of Lyndy's pigtail braids. "I forgot so much stuff that I even forgot about your GG. I remember meeting you yesterday, though. You and Katie were very sweet."

"What about my daddy?" asked Lyndy. "He isn't here to meet you again. He's in heaven."

Lisa wanted to cry. "I'm sorry. I don't remember him, but maybe you can tell me all about him sometime. I need to go take care of something right now, but maybe some other time."

Lyndy seemed to accept that answer. "Okay." She hopped up from the couch and went to her room to play.

Jack had been watching Lisa throughout that whole conversation and saw how sad it made her.

Lisa got up from the couch, went into their room, and shut the door. She leaned back against the door and cried quietly.

Jack knew the look on Lisa's face and was debating on if he should follow her. He eventually decided that he should. He got up and knocked on the bedroom door. "Lisa," he said quietly.

Lisa stepped away from the door and said, "Come in." She couldn't bear to look at him then.

Jack stepped into the bedroom and closed the door. Lisa kept her back to him, but he could see that her body was shaking slightly as she cried. He gently turned her around and pulled her into a hug. He was careful not to squeeze her too tightly. Lisa rested her head against Jack's chest and put her left arm around him. Jack didn't know what to say, so he just stood there holding Lisa in his arms and waited for her to stop crying.

When Lisa was able to stop crying, she pulled slightly in Jack's arms and looked up at him. "I'm sorry for crying on you. I think I left a wet spot on your shirt."

Jack looked down and saw a small spot from Lisa's tears. "That's okay. My shirt will dry."

Lisa rested her forehead on Jack's chest and then said quietly, "It just broke my heart. She already lost her dad, and then her great grandma doesn't have any memories of her. She probably doesn't understand any of this at all."

"She doesn't, but you're still here, so you can help her to understand that you remember her after the accident." Jack rubbed Lisa's back in an attempt to comfort her.

"I guess." Lisa knew she shouldn't be standing this way with Jack, but sometimes she selfishly just needed someone to care for her and be affectionate.

Jack pulled away. He loved holding Lisa in his arms, but he also knew he needed to keep his distance if he wanted to be Lisa's friend and not her husband. "Hey, are you up to taking a little walk? We don't even have to leave the area in front of the house, but it might be good to get some fresh air."

"Sure. Getting outside sounds nice. Can you help me put my shoes on?"

Once they both had shoes and coats on, the couple went out onto the porch. Lisa was struck by how beautiful it was. She was so stressed out about going home with Jack that she didn't really look around and take it all in the day before. "It's very beautiful here. I can kind of see why you are so attached to this place."

Jack's face lit up at that. "It really is. There's nowhere I'd rather be."

The two of them walked down to the driveway and then back to the porch. Lisa was winded. "I need to sit down, but I'm not ready to go inside. Can we just sit on the porch?"

"Of course!" Jack led Lisa to the bench on the porch where they had many discussions over the years. "It's nice sitting out here with you. We do this a lot. When the weather is nice, we spend a lot of time on the porch talking about our days and sometimes having a glass of wine at the end of the day."

"I can see why. It's beautiful and it's pretty peaceful too."

"I know you're pretty tired, but what if I drove you over to the barn? Would you be interested in seeing the horses? I can show you our horses, and maybe we can watch Amy work for a little bit too. I think she's getting ready to try a join-up. That's not something you should miss." Jack wanted Lisa to see what Heartland was about. He knew watching Amy work would be a great way to show her that.

"Sure. I would like to be around horses. I miss it."

After Jack went and grabbed the keys and came back out, he said, "Lou said dinner will be ready in about an hour, so we have a little time. We don't have to rush." He held out his hand to Lisa and pulled her up from the bench and then helped her down the stairs to the SUV. They drove over to the barn. Jack helped Lisa out of the Porsche so they could walk closer to the round pen.

Amy was fully focused on the horse and had the horse's attention. She was driving the horse around the pen. The horse balked at times, but Amy kept up the pressure. After several minutes of this, Amy backed away and went to stand in the middle of the round pen with her back to the horse. The horse slowly walked up to Amy and nudged her shoulder a little bit. Amy heard a gasp and looked up to see her grandfather and Lisa standing there. "I didn't even see you guys pull up in Lisa's car."

Lisa looked amazed by what she had just seen. "Amy, that was incredible."

Amy beamed at the compliment. "Thanks, Lisa. I still have a lot of work to do with this horse, but he did well today."

Jack nudged Lisa and whispered, "Ask her about Edwin."

"Oh, Amy. I forgot to ask you earlier, but have you talked to Edwin yet?"

Amy was walking the horse around the pen but stopped to come to the rails in the round pen. "No, I haven't. Rebecca's mom dropped her off the other day, so I haven't seen him, and this seems like a conversation you want to have in person."

Lisa nodded. "I agree. I texted him and asked him to come over sometime in the next couple of days so that we could talk about what's going on. Do you think you could be there for the discussion if I feel like I need some extra support?"

"Of course. Just let me know when so I can make sure I'm around." Amy started to gather her things in the round pen.

"Thanks, Amy. I really appreciate it." Lisa was amazed by how much everyone at Heartland had been ready to help with no questions asked.

Amy waved her off. "It's no problem. You're family, and you need a little extra help right now. I've dealt with those snooty horse people. I know how they are and understand your desire to keep things close to the vest right now. We'll make sure Edwin understands that, too. I need to run to the bathroom. Grandpa, do you think you could put this guy in one of the outside stalls and make sure he has food and water?"

"Yes. Go. I can take care of him." Jack turned to Lisa, "I won't make you walk all the way over there. You can go ahead and go into the barn, and if you need a place to rest, there are chairs in the office."

Lisa walked into the barn. She was surprised at how small it was for the amount of work Amy did, but at the same time, she really liked it. Heartland wasn't fancy like Fairfield, but it was a working family ranch barn just like many she had seen growing up in Alberta.

Jack walked into the barn to see Spartan backing away from Lisa when she tried to pet him. "He's probably scared of your cast."

Lisa looked up at Jack. "Yeah, you're probably right. Horses get weird with things they don't understand. Maybe come over here and interact with me so they can see you aren't scared of my cast. "

Jack walked over to Lisa and put his arm around Lisa while also talking to Spartan. The horse got curious and came closer again. He put his nose over the stall door, and Jack reached out to pet him. Jack kept petting him and then encouraged Lisa to try to pet Spartan again. The horse didn't back away and let her pet him as well.

"He's a beautiful horse." Lisa didn't realize just how much she had missed being around horses until she was standing there in the barn.

"This is Amy's horse, Spartan." Jack paused and then continued, but he sounded sad. "He was the last horse Amy and Marion rescued. They were in a car accident when they were rescuing him. That's when Marion died."

"Wow, your family has been through so much loss. That's awful. I'm so sorry." Lisa was surprised by how much heartache one family could go through. It made her wonder how she was going to manage everything without breaking Jack's heart again. She began to hope she wouldn't have to, but it wasn't even something she could put words to yet.

Jack's phone beeped just then. He pulled it out to look at it. "That's Lou. She said dinner is going to be ready a little early. Let's go back to the house. Are you ready for a family dinner?"

Lisa shook her head. "No, but I want to eat dinner, so I guess I just need to deal.

Jack held his arm out to Lisa to walk back to the Porsche. "It will be fine. I'll help.

To be continued