Chapter 26
It was early Monday morning, and Lisa was in the bathroom getting ready to go to Fairfield for the first time since her accident. She had tried to prepare herself as much as possible before she went so that she could be as natural as possible around her employees, but she was still incredibly nervous about the whole thing. She hadn't slept well the night before, so when she heard Jack get up to do chores, she went ahead and got up. She was sitting on the couch when Lou got up. Lou needed to get to Maggie's early, so she helped Lisa wash her hair before she got into the shower. Once Lisa's hair was washed, she went to lie down on the couch while she waited to get back in the bathroom and finish getting cleaned up. She was really tired after not sleeping well.
When Jack came back from the barn, he found Lisa asleep on the couch with a towel on her head. He leaned over Lisa and kissed her forehead. "Lis, you fell asleep with a towel on your head."
Lisa's eyes popped open. She looked up at Jack. He was smiling at her, and Lisa's heart skipped a beat. She was falling for her husband. After she sat up, she patted the spot to her left on the couch to invite Jack to sit down with her. After he sat down, she asked, "Did you kiss me on the forehead to wake me up?"
"I did. You just looked so beautiful, and I couldn't resist. I'm sorry if that was too far." Jack loved kissing his wife, but he hoped he hadn't overstepped any boundaries.
"It was fine. It's not a bad way to wake up from a nap," Lisa admitted.
Jack was enjoying Lisa's flirting. She was getting more bold about it more often. "I'll have to remember that. Just so you know, I'm not against waking up to that either."
The two of them were sitting close together on the couch and were laughing and teasing each other when Lyndy got up. She walked over to her great grandparents and asked, "Are you guys married?"
Jack picked Lyndy up and held her so that her legs were in Lisa's lap. "We are married. It's a little complicated right now since Lisa doesn't remember any of that, but I'm working on it." Lisa eyed Jack at his last statement, and Jack winked at her.
Lyndy sat up in Jack's lap and looked at Lisa with a serious expression. "GG is the best. You should stay married to him. Rebecca's parents are divorced. They don't live together. Please don't do that."
Lisa was touched by what Lyndy said. "I can't make any promises while I'm still getting to know your GG, but He seems pretty nice from what I've learned so far."
"He's the nicest," said Lyndy.
Jack looked over at Lisa. "I promise I didn't put her up to that, but how can I be bothered when my great granddaughter thinks that I'm the best and the nicest?"
Lisa couldn't help but laugh. "Well, she may be a bit partial, but I'm starting to see what she means."
Amy came out of her room and saw Lyndy sitting with her GGs on the couch. "Lyndy, let's get you ready for school, okay?
After Lyndy went to her room with Amy, Jack put his arm around Lisa. "I'm just glad that you're still here. Anything you allow beyond that is just a bonus."
Lisa leaned her head against Jack and then stood up. "I should take care of my hair. I don't want it to dry all crazy and I need to finish getting cleaned up" She liked being close to him, but she wasn't really ready for any PDA in front of the family.
"Okay. When do you need to leave for Fairfield today?" asked Jack.
Lisa thought for a moment and then replied, "I want to leave here around 8. Is that okay with you?"
"That's totally fine. I'm going to go make some breakfast. You need to eat something good before you work." Jack got up to head into the kitchen to start cooking.
Lisa touched Jack's arm to stop him. "I don't know if I can eat. I'm too nervous."
Jack could see the anxiety on Lisa's face. "I know you're nervous, but please, try to eat something."
"Okay, I'll try," Lisa acquiesced.
Jack made eggs, bacon, and toast and put it out on the dining room table. As people were ready for school or work, they would come in and eat.
Lisa sat down at the table to eat after everyone else had left the house for the day, but she couldn't stomach anything more than a slice of toast and a slice of bacon. "I'm sorry, Jack. I can't eat much. I'm just too nervous."
Squeezing Lisa's shoulder, he said, "That's okay. I understand. I was just worried about you going to work on an empty stomach."
Lisa appreciated the way that Jack tried to take care of her and be there for her. He never pushed her beyond what she was ready for, but he did push her to be honest and do what is best for her. Even with eating before her first day of work. He made breakfast for everyone and gave her the option of eating a few things, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to eat everything. Lisa felt loved and cared for in a way that was surprising to her.
While Jack put away the leftovers and cleaned up the dishes, Lisa finished getting ready for work, and then they made their way to Fairfield. Jack was driving with his left hand. He reached over and held Lisa's hand as they drove over to work. He wasn't sure if it was the right choice, but he thought it would distract Lisa from thinking about work. He could tell she was overthinking everything and was freaked out about going back to work.
As they were getting close to Fairfield, Lisa looked over at Jack. "Thanks for distracting me by holding my hand."
"It was my pleasure. I love holding hands with you. It's a simple thing, but at the same time, it feels like we're close when we're holding hands."
"I like holding hands with you too." Lisa squeezed Jack's hand and smiled at him. "Are you usually affectionate with me at Fairfield, or do we keep that just for ourselves? I don't want to do something too out of the ordinary and make my staff wonder what's going on."
"I have been affectionate, but not always. It sort of depends on what's going on in our lives at the time. If you feel like we need to sell something, I'll follow your lead there. I'm not expecting anything." Jack wanted to make sure that Lisa was comfortable on her first day back and not any pressure to what she was already feeling. He knew that they were somewhat affectionate with one another in public, but he wasn't going to push for that until she was ready.
"Okay. I guess I'll just do what feels right. Thanks for understanding." Lisa began to think about scenarios where she might feel the need to show some PDA, but she had no idea if it was realistic or not.
"Listen, I'm always in favor of being affectionate with you, but I'm not always a big fan of PDA." Jack remembered a time when he ended up kissing Lisa a lot in the middle of town. "Although there was one time when we got into a fight at Heartland because I saw you kissing Dan and I got jealous. You told me I had nothing to worry about because it didn't mean anything with Dan, and in your words was a 'rusty ex-husband kiss' and not a 'mean something kiss.' Then you kissed me and said it was a 'mean something kiss' and left."
"Wow. Did you accept that answer?" Lisa knew Dan was always trying to be affectionate with her. It was rarely that he cared for her. It was more about power and control. She had let him get away with it because she knew that she would never be interested in Dan that way again.
"I did. I asked you to meet me in town later after I got my head on straight. We had a great kiss, and I said that it was a 'mean something kiss' and then kissed you some more." That particular memory was one of Jack's favorites.
"So we were just making out in the middle of town? That doesn't seem like you or me." Lisa was surprised by this story.
"We've both done things out of the ordinary for each other. It's how we show love to one another. By getting out of our comfort zones and showing that we can be there for each other. I'm not always good at doing it. You're much better at it than me. Sometimes, you pull me out of my comfort zone, kicking and screaming, but I'm always glad that I did after. Even though France didn't go the way either of us hoped, I'm still glad that I went so that I could see your life there. I just wish that I'd handled things differently and had been honest with you that I wasn't having a good time."
"Why didn't you say anything while you were in France?" asked Lisa. "I don't think that I'm that hard to talk to."
"I was just so afraid of disappointing you. France is important to you, and I didn't want to ruin that. Instead, I ruined our relationship for over a year. I was an idiot," said Jack.
"I have no memory of that, but I'd have to agree. You were an idiot," Lisa agreed.
"I want to be offended, but I can't argue with you." Jack made the turn onto the drive to Fairfield. "Are you ready?"
"No, but it's too late now. I think some people have already seen me." Lisa saw some of her trainers, and they waved as they drove by.
"You'll be fine. I have confidence in you, and I'm so proud of you for being brave and trying to go back to work in person part-time." Jack meant what he said. He knew how scared Lisa was, so even getting as far as she had was a big deal.
"Thanks, Jack. I appreciate it." Lisa squeezed Jack's hand that she was still holding for moral support.
Jack pulled up in front of the stable and got out to help Lisa out of the car. Everyone seemed to be busy, so Lisa was able to get to her office without running into anyone. When they arrived at her office, Georgie and Edwin were there waiting for her.
Lisa greeted the two of them. "Hi, guys."
Georgie approached Lisa and gave her a hug. "Welcome back, Lisa. Just let me know what you want to do today, and we'll do that."
Edwin approached and welcomed Lisa back as well before leaving to go oversee things happening.
Lisa looked around and took everything in, "I was thinking of following your lead here. I haven't been at Fairfield since before the accident, so I figured you probably know more than me right now. What have you been working on?"
Georgie sat down at the desk to pull up a schedule. "Well, we have a sale happening tomorrow. The vet is coming out to do one last check-up to make sure everything is good on our end. We're also looking at a few horses, but we know that you like to see them in person. I was wondering if you would want me to go for you. I imagine traveling with your arm in that cast would be quite challenging."
"Well, show me the horses you're thinking about, and we can talk about it." LIsa was curious what kind of horses Georgie would go for and if they would fit with what she usually bought.
Jack was just standing off to the side, watching Lisa work. He was so proud of her for even getting this far.
Georgie realized that they had been ignoring Jack, "I didn't even say hi to you yet, Jack. I'm sorry." She walked over and gave him a hug.
Jack hugged her back. "It's fine. You have a lot on your mind today with Lisa being back to work. I'm so proud of you for stepping up to help Lisa after her accident. I know it has taken a lot of the pressure off of her."
Lisa nodded. "It's true. I don't know what I would have done without you. I know I have other employees who can do some of this, but I needed someone like you to be me while I've been away."
Georgie smiled shyly. "You're family, and that's just what we do when family is having a hard time. You were having a really hard time when I arrived."
"I was. I still am. I'm not sure how much I can do today. I'll admit that I'm feeling a little more overwhelmed than I anticipated." If Lisa was being honest, she was close to having a panic attack, but she was trying to keep it under wraps.
Georgie squeezed Lisa's arm. "You don't have to stay for very long. If you just want to get caught up on things a little bit and then go back home, that is just fine. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Why don't we go see the horse you're selling, and then we can stop by and see Platinum Bow. He has been a little sad lately, and everyone has talked about how much that horse is attached to you."
Lisa gave Georgie a grateful smile. "Thank you. That sounds good. Let's start there, and if I need to go home, I will. Jack, can you stick around for a bit? I'm sorry if I'm messing with your work today."
Jack waved Lisa off. "You're fine. I didn't really know how today was going to go, so I didn't have a lot planned beyond the basics today in case you needed something from me. Do you want me to come with you to see the horses? Maybe safety in numbers? If you're busy with Georgie and me, then others might not try to approach you."
"Okay, that sounds good. If you don't mind." Lisa loved that Jack was being protective of her. She didn't know how much she needed that to feel safe.
Jack smiled at Lisa. "I don't mind at all. I never mind spending time with you."
Georgie had been watching the conversation. "Aw, Jack. Sometimes you seem like a gruff, old cowboy, but really, you're a softy."
"I'm not old," Jack grumbled.
"Sure you're not," Georgie said sarcastically and giggled.
Trying to change the subject, Jack said, "Okay, let's go look at those horses."
"Just because you change the subject doesn't mean that we're going to forget that you're old, Jack," Lisa joked.
"Oh, I see. You two are ganging up on me."
Lisa and Georgie laughed together. "I'm sorry," Lisa apologized. "We're not ganging up on you. Just maybe having a little fun to ease the tension."
"Fine." Jack threw up his hands and said, "If it helps you be more comfortable, tease me all you want."
Lisa gestured for Jack to follow them. "Come on, Cowboy. I have some horses to look at."
Jack stopped in his tracks. It was the first time Lisa had called him Cowboy since the accident.
Lisa turned around to look at Jack. Seeing the expression on her face, she tried to figure out why he looked so freaked out. "Jack? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. You just haven't called me Cowboy since before the accident," replied Jack. "We can talk about that later, though. Let's go look at horses."
Lisa turned back to her great-granddaughter and said, "Okay. Georgie, lead the way."
The three of them walked out of the office down to where the horse stalls were located. The staff who were around said hello and welcomed Lisa back, but then got back to work. Lisa, Georgie, and Jack all greeted them as well.
After Georgie showed Lisa the horse that was being sold the next day, they went over to see Platinum Bow. Lisa was most excited and nervous to see Bow. Animals could tell when something was wrong or off with you, and she was afraid that he would be able to tell that she had no memory of him. When they got to his stall, he stuck his head out and nuzzled Lisa. Lisa instantly fell in love with him. He was a sweetheart, and it was clear that he was very attached to Lisa. She stroked his neck and spoke softly to him.
Jack watched as Lisa interacted with Bow. He knew how much the horse meant to Lisa, and it made him happy to see that the connection with him hadn't been lost with the memory loss. The horse also didn't seem bothered by her cast. He was just happy to see her. It had been weeks since she'd last seen him.
One of the trainers approached needing to ask a question and feeling unsure who to ask with both Georgie and Lisa there. Lisa put the trainer at ease. "Since I haven't been here for a while and won't be here full time for a bit, it's probably best to talk to Georgie. I can listen and get caught up, but I'm not completely back yet."
The trainer talked to Georgie and then said to Lisa, "Welcome back even though it's not full-time yet. It's good to have you back even a little. Georgie is doing a great job, but you are missed here."
"Thank you. I appreciate that. I don't think I'll be back full time until sometime after my cast comes off. I don't get tired as quickly as I did right after the accident, but it's easier for me to be at Heartland more since I can't drive yet and I still get tired." Lisa hoped that she was being natural with her employee.
The trainer went on their way to get back to work, and Lisa turned to Jack and Georgie. "Was that okay?"
They both nodded, and Georgie added, "That was totally fine. It sounded like a conversation you would have had before the accident."
Lisa felt relieved that she hadn't messed up. "Okay, I think that I'm ready to go back to Heartland. I wanted to stay longer, but the stress of this wore me out, and I didn't sleep well last night either."
"That's totally fine. Edwin and I have it under control here. It will be baby steps to get you back here full time, and that is perfectly okay. Phoenix isn't quite healed yet, so I can't get back to training on him for a while. I've been helping with training the hunter jumpers here a bit to stay in shape. I need to get back to work. I'll see you later." Georgie walked back to the office, leaving Jack and Lisa standing by Platinum Bow's stall.
Lisa turned to look at Jack. "Okay, I think I'm ready to go. Thank you for staying."
Jack put his arm around Lisa. "It's totally fine. Let's get you back home. You look exhausted."
Lisa leaned against Jack's chest and sighed. "I am. I feel like I could sleep for about a week." The couple left Fairfield, and Lisa breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't realize how much anxiety she'd had until they were pulling away.
When they got back to Heartland, Lisa ate an early lunch. When she was done eating, she put her dishes in the sink and went over to where Jack was sitting at the kitchen table and put her good arm around Jack. "Thanks for the ride to and from Fairfeld and the support to get through being there. I really appreciate it."
Jack put an arm around Lisa and pulled her close. "You're my wife. Of course, I'm always here for you. I love you."
Lisa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and pulled back a bit to look at Jack. He was being so sweet and kind to her. She wished that she could reciprocate his feelings, but she just wasn't there. She kissed his cheek and then left to go take a nap.
Jack sat in the kitchen and watched Lisa go into the bedroom and close the door. He missed his wife, but he was grateful for the progress that they had made.
To be continued
Author's Note: This story has been a challenge to write, but it has been fun at the same time. I could have posted this chapter sooner, but my ADHD brain wasn't getting any dopamine from editing, so I just couldn't make myself finish it until now. Thank you so much for all your reviews. I love reading them, and they are much appreciated.