Chapter 38
With the big decision Lisa had to make, she wasn't sleeping well at night. She was also nervous around her employees at work and around clients who came to look at horses. At home, she was distracted. Jack was getting frustrated, and the rest of the family was starting to notice a change in Lisa. He had been able to explain it away that she was just worried about taking over her business full time again, but he knew that wasn't really it.
By Wednesday night after dinner, Jack had enough and pulled Lisa aside and asked her to come for a walk with him. Once they were outside, they made their way down to the pond. It was becoming a place for them to talk and have conversations without being interrupted by family. When they arrived at the pond, Jack stopped and turned to address Lisa. "Have you made a decision yet?"
Lisa sighed, and her shoulders and head dropped. "You may not understand this, but I'm not going to tell anyone. Yes, honesty is the best policy, but there's also the saying that it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I know this situation doesn't exactly fit the second saying, but I just don't want to risk my business if I don't have to. What if my memory comes back tomorrow or next week? Then, telling everyone would be pointless."
"What if it doesn't come back at all?" asked Jack. "We need to be prepared for that possibility as well."
Lisa knew that he was going to ask that, and it was something she was considering, but it still didn't mean that she wanted to risk her business. "I know. I'm thinking about that too. I just don't think I can be honest about it at this point. I can maybe admit to having some memory loss due to the concussion, but not losing all my memories from the last 17 years except how to fly fish. That will lead to me being treated poorly, and I don't want to do that."
"Okay, well, I'll support you no matter what. I understand why you feel like you have to make this choice." Jack bumped his shoulder against hers. "Let's go back inside. I'm pretty tired and would like to go to bed soon."
"Same. I'm exhausted." Lisa walked back to the house with Jack.
While Jack was brushing his teeth, Lisa changed into her pajamas, and then they switched so that she could brush her teeth and he could change. After they got into bed, Jack leaned over to kiss Lisa on the cheek and then moved back to his side of the bed. Lisa reached across and held Jack's hand.
"Thanks for always supporting me. I'm glad that I have your support. The past couple of months have been insane and you have made dealing with it a little bit easier." Lisa pulled Jack's hand up to her lips and kissed it.
Jack pulled Lisa closer and put his arm around her. Lisa rested her head on Jack's chest. Jack kissed her forehead. He had missed lying in bed with his wife with her in his arms.
Lisa realized that she felt at peace in Jack's arms. It was a peace she couldn't explain. Even with so much stuff being wrong or difficult in her life, getting to know Jack again and falling for him again had mostly been easy. She began to realize that the peace that she was feeling was love. She was falling in love with Jack. Lisa wanted to tell him, but she quickly decided that it wasn't the right time to say anything. She wanted to get through the weekend and say goodbye to Georgie, and then she would tell him. Feeling loved and safe in Jack's arms, she fell into a deep sleep.
Jack realized that Lisa was asleep, and he smiled to himself. He knew how much she had been struggling to sleep lately, and he was glad that she was able to relax with him enough to get some sleep. He kissed her head and drifted off to sleep shortly after.
When Jack woke up the next morning, Lisa was no longer in his arms, but she was still right next to him. He reveled in her closeness and imagined what it would be like to be with her again. He usually got up in the morning with no problem, but he wanted to stay in bed with LIsa.
He was lost in thought when he felt her snuggle into his side and kiss his shoulder. He looked over, and Lisa was looking at him and smiling. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Good morning."
"Good morning to you, too," Lisa responded.
"Did you sleep okay?" inquired Jack.
Lisa put her head on Jack's shoulder. "I did. I'm still tired, but I actually slept last night. Another couple nights of sleep, and I'll be in good shape."
"Good. Well, it's still early, and you can go back to sleep. I need to get out and get chores done." Jack got up and grabbed some clean clothes to go shower and get ready for the day.
Lisa stretched out in the bed and thought about the conclusions she had come to before falling asleep in Jack's arms the previous night. She still felt the same way and began formulating a plan for how to tell Jack that she loved him. She was lost in thought when Jack came back into the bedroom to drop off his pajamas.
"What were you smiling about?" asked Jack. He wondered what was making Lisa smile like that.
Lisa tried to school her features and realized that she was failing miserably, so she decided to deflect. "I was just thinking about a joke one of my employees made the other day."
"Oh. Okay." Jack wasn't sure he believed her, but he let it go.
"Have fun doing your chores. I'm going to go back to sleep for a minute. Since I'm not telling anyone about my amnesia, I have some time to get a little bit more sleep." Lisa rolled over and faced the wall and closed her eyes.
Jack walked over and kissed her. He pretended that he didn't notice her kissing him back and left to go have a cup of coffee and go do chores.
Lisa buried her face in her pillow and smiled to herself after Jack left the room. She wasn't sure that she would actually be able to go to sleep again. Between her realization about loving Jack and the decision she made about not telling anyone about her amnesia, she had a lot to think about. Eventually, she gave up and went to take a shower after Jack left to go do chores. She knew that everyone would be up soon, and she wanted to be done with her shower by the time they all got up for the day.
Jack saw Lisa walking out to her car and went to say goodbye to her. "Lis," he called out.
Looking up to see her husband approaching, Lisa smiled and waved to him. As he approached the car, she said, "Hey, I'm heading over to work. I couldn't sleep anymore, and since we're having the going away party for Georgie tomorrow, I need to get a lot done today."
"Okay. Well, have a good day. I'll see you when you get home tonight." He tried to discreetly reach out and squeeze her hand.
Lisa squeezed it back and smiled up at him. "I'll see you tonight." She got into her car and drove away. When she looked in her rearview mirror, she saw Jack standing there watching her drive away. Even without the amnesia, she never imagined that her life would turn out like this, but she was thankful that it did. She just wished that she could remember how she got to her current place.
Jack watched Lisa drive away and then went inside to get some breakfast. Lou and Amy were sitting at the table in the kitchen. "Good morning."
"Hey, Grandpa. You and Lisa were looking cozy out there? How's that going?" Lou was smirking at her grandfather.
"Did we? I don't think we were. She was just telling me that she was getting an early start at work today because of the party they are having a party for Georgie tomorrow." Jack didn't want to encourage Lou. "I just happened to catch her before I came in to have some breakfast and another cup of coffee before I go out to check on the cattle."
"Okay, Grandpa," said Lou skeptically.
"Ignore her," said Amy. "I didn't think you looked that cozy. Lou just really wants you two to really be back together."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Lou, if it's going to happen, it will happen. Would I love to be a real couple again? Yes, but I refuse to force it. I love Lisa too much to do that. It has to be her choice."
"Come on, Grandpa. It's so obvious that she's totally in love with you again. I see how she looks at you."
"She might be, but she might not. Until she tells me that herself, I'm going to let her be." Jack knew that they didn't know that their relationship had changed quite a bit, but he didn't think it was any of their business. He would just let it be until Lisa was ready. He couldn't imagine how much pressure she felt from everyone who was just waiting for her to figure it out. He didn't want to contribute to that. After having a quick breakfast and cup of coffee, he was on his way to check on the cattle. Jack was thankful for some time on his own to think and to not have pressure from his family about Lisa.
Meanwhile, at Fairfield, Lisa went to her office and got to work. She answered some emails and looked at some potential horses that one of her trainers sent her. Edwin arrived at work first. He gave her a questioning look. Lisa knew that he wanted to know what she had decided about telling people about her memory loss. "I'll talk to you and Georgie up at the house. I was just going to text her and make sure she was ready for us to come over. I know she's been busy packing and getting ready to leave Fairfield tomorrow."
"Okay, just let me know when you're ready. I need to check on some things and talk to the trainers before they get started," said Edwin. He walked away to start his day at work.
Lisa sent Georgie a text to see if she was up and ready and to let her know to stay at the house because she and Edwin were going to go over to the house to talk. She hoped that Edwin and Georgie would be okay with her not saying anything. It just seemed too risky to her to say anything if she didn't absolutely have to.
Once she got the go-ahead, Lisa and Edwin each made their way up to the house. Georgie had the front door open. She could see Georgie packing a bag through the screen on the door and called out to her. "Hey, Georgie."
The young woman looked up, "Oh! Hi, Lisa! Come on in."
Lisa entered and gave Georgie a hug. "Getting packed up?"
"Yeah, I've just been trying to get everything packed early so that way when we leave after the party tomorrow, I can just grab my bags, and we can leave." Georgie went back to packing.
Edwin arrived at the house just then as well. "Come on in, Edwin," said Lisa.
Once Edwin entered the house, Lisa asked him and Georgie to sit down. She sat down across from them and took a deep breath. "I have decided not to tell anyone. It just feels too risky at this point. I appreciate your support through all of this. I wouldn't have been able to make it for the last couple of months without your help. Georgie, I will miss you being here, and if you ever want to come back, just know that there is always a job available for you. Edwin, I will be looking to you more for the next couple of months to help with things. I may ask you to travel with me for races or horse sales."
"Okay. I'm happy to do that while you get back into the swing of things," replied Edwin.
"Good. I'm glad. This whole thing has been extremely stressful. I haven't been sleeping well, but last night after I made the decision not to say anything, I actually slept well. Okay, well, I need to get back to the office. I'll see you both over there." Lisa stood up and left. She felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. With that done, she went back to her office to get more work done.
When Lisa arrived back at Heartland after work, she was exhausted. She hadn't figured out if she got tired more quickly than she used to because of her age or if she was still recovering from the accident. It occurred to her that it might be a third option, which was a combination of the first two. Jack wasn't home when she got home. Nobody's cars were there when she got home. She figured everyone was busy as she made her way into the house. Katie and Lyndy were sitting at the table in the kitchen, having a snack when she walked inside. "Oh, hello. I didn't think anyone was home."
Lyndy jumped down from her chair. "Lisa!" She ran to give her great grandma a hug.
Lisa hugged her back. "Hi, honey. That's a pretty nice welcome. Are you feeling better now?"
"Yup," said Lyndy enthusiastically.
"Hi, Lisa. I think everyone else is out," Katie informed Lisa. "I'm not sure where Grandpa or Jessica are. Amy was meeting with someone at their ranch. She's working with their horse, but apparently, they are hard to trailer, so she was going to go over and see if she could help with that. Mom is at the diner. I think GG had to go to town for something. We came home on the bus today. I've been babysitting Lyndy."
Lisa looked around the kitchen and then asked, "Do you know if your mom has anything planned for dinner?"
Katie shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You could text and ask her. Were you thinking about cooking something? I've missed your cooking. You haven't really cooked much since you were in a cast."
"Yeah, I was thinking about it." Lisa was flattered that Katie missed her cooking. "Since it's so late, I might just do something easy like spaghetti. Does that sound good to you two?"
Lyndy's face lit up. "Yes! I love spaghetti!"
"Spaghetti is good with me," added Katie.
"Okay, I'm just going to text Lou and make sure she didn't have anything planned already." Lisa sent off a text to Lou as she went to drop her computer off in her bedroom. She was looking forward to cooking for the family. For her, it felt like the first time she'd really done that, but she knew that wasn't really the case.
Once Lisa knew that Lou was fine with her making dinner, she pulled some meat out of the freezer to defrost, grabbed a cup of coffee and went to sit out on the porch to relax since she was the only adult at home for the time being. Taking in the scenery, she thought again about how her life had changed in the last two months or the last 17 years. The time she was missing almost didn't exist for her. She kind of felt like she had time traveled except that she had still aged seventeen years. It was often very confusing for her. After she finished her coffee, Lisa went back inside to check on Katie and Lyndy. Katie was sitting on the couch reading a textbook, and Lyndy was playing around the living room with her toys strewn across the room.
By the time Lisa was almost done with dinner, everyone started coming home. Jack came home first. He stood close to Lisa while she stood at the stove. "Hey, how was your day?" asked Lisa. She felt her heart race at his closeness and felt herself leaning toward him.
"It was a good day for a cattle rancher. No fences needed any repairs, and no cows had any issues. It is good to come home to you cooking dinner." Jack bumped his side gently against hers.
When the door opened, they stepped away from each other quickly. Lisa and Jack turned around to see Lou and Amy come in together. "Hi Lou. Hi Amy. Dinner is almost ready," said Lisa.
Shortly after Jack, Lisa, Lou, Amy, Katie, and Lyndy sat down for dinner, Tim and Jessica walked into the house to join them for dinner. Everyone was in good moods, and they were all laughing and joking around. Lisa still mostly just observed everyone. She was still learning about their history and their stories.
As everyone was clearing the table, Lou said, "Thank you for making dinner, Lisa. It was delicious."
"Lyndy definitely seemed to enjoy it. Her face is just covered in sauce. I don't know if she got more on her or in her," joked Tim.
Lisa looked at the little girl and said, "Oh my. You are a mess young lady."
"Yes, you are," agreed Amy, chuckling at the sight Lynd made. "Let's get you in the bath." Amy led Lyndy to the bathroom to get her daughter cleaned up.
Jack and Lisa stood there chuckling at how messy the little girl had gotten. "She really is covered in spaghetti sauce. She doesn't usually get that messy when she eats, but spaghetti is a little more messy of a pasta dish than lasagna, which is what we usually have," said Jack.
Lisa wanted to ask Jack to go for a walk, but with the family still around and seeing how much everyone seemed to be watching them lately she decided that it was best to just stay in the house and socialize with the family.
As Jack and Lisa were going to bed, Lisa looked over at Jack and almost wanted to just forget her plan and tell him right then and there that she loved him. She controlled herself and just leaned over to kiss him goodnight and then rolled over and tried to go to sleep.
Jack laid there feeling very surprised. Lisa hadn't kissed him goodnight like that since before the accident. He knew they had gradually been moving to that, but he was still caught off guard. He wasn't going to say anything, though. Because he loved her so much, Jack would just take the development and be thankful that it had happened.
To Be Continued