A/N:

mostly canon-compliant

ideal formatting is on ao3 (link in my profile). i post the new chapters there first.

i would be most grateful for any reviews/thoughts. enjoy! :)

1180

Garland Moon

Life in the monastery soon settled into a routine.

Each month, Lady Rhea assigned a formal mission for the Black Eagles to complete under Byleth's guidance, typically accomplished at the end of the month.

Weekdays were for teaching; the evenings and weekends were for free time and the occasional class excursion.

Although she initially spent much of her free time in solitary pursuits—training, fishing, reading—Byleth soon realised, after many assorted invitations, that the monastery was a social place. That faculty members liked spending time and building bonds with each other; were expected to, almost.

And so, occasionally, she—

Fished with Alois and Jeralt, listening to their cheery banter and Alois' stories of her father she had never heard before;

Had tea with Lady Rhea, in an attempt to uncover any possible "true motives" behind the archbishop's interest in her.

Visited the monastery's wyvern caverns with Seteth, who upon discovering their shared interest in flying, had shown her the wyverns that students and faculty trained with;

Listened to helpful knowledge from Hanneman about crests and other related topics;

And had dinner with Manuela.

It was during one of these dinners that Byleth voiced what she'd increasingly noticed with curiosity—that faculty and students also seemed to like spending time and building bonds with each other. Byleth had seen the other professors having meals, cooking, having tea, and singing hymns with students. There seemed little boundary between students and faculty than she expected, something she wondered whether was inappropriate.

"Not at all! It's because there truly is little boundary between student and faculty," Manuela explained over their dinner—sweet and salty whitefish sauté using loach Byleth had caught earlier that day. "The Officer's Academy was established partly as a military academy, but largely for the children of the three countries' nobility and commoners with connections to meet each other before they occupy official positions. The nobility are the primary funders of the church and the academy."

"I see," Byleth said, savouring the spices on the fish.

"As such, faculty don't hold any real power over the students. For the year they're here to fraternise, we simply provide guidance and enhance their knowledge where possible. Whatever we think about their abilities, good or bad, the students go on to occupy important positions and hold significant power in their country regardless." Manuela took a large sip of her wine. "So the students treat us as another possible connection—friend, mentor, or even a potential advisor in the future. I daresay you've already been poached… am I right?"

Byleth thought back to the first night she met the heirs. "Perhaps."

"Ha! Your recalcitrant answer is answer enough. Also, do you know…" Manuela gestured her closer, lowering her voice. "Some staff members have been poached in other ways… I know of three who have even gone on to become consorts and spouses of students they once taught!"

Byleth nearly choked on a piece of fish and started coughing violently.

"Oh my, are you are alright?" Manuela reached over to thump her on the back. "Here." She handed Byleth a glass of water and she gulped it down, averting her eyes from a deeply concerned Edelgard at the next table who had looked over when she started coughing.

"I mean, why not?" Manuela continued when she felt confident Byleth wasn't about to keel over and die. "We won't be employed at the academy forever." A wistful look came over her face. "I could think of worse ways to live than be happily married and in love with a wealthy person for the rest of my life."

Byleth made a non-committal noise in her throat.

Like the faculty, Byleth had also received invitations from her students, especially the Black Eagles, to spend time together. She had always refused, unsure about what the expected professional conduct. But after her conversation with Manuela, she felt she should reconsider.

A mentor. Possibly a friend.

(She does not think about the last option Manuela suggested).

Byleth had never really had friends… but she could try. Manuela was right—she wasn't going to be at the academy for the rest of her life. Eventually, Jeralt and her would move on, and connections were useful.

Thus, Byleth started to dedicate a few hours to each student on her free days doing an activity of their choosing—

Linhardt, in the common room discussing his latest topic of interest.

Caspar, on the training grounds brawling and training with all manners of weapons.

Ferdinand, in the gazebo where he expounded on the various essences of tea and the fundamentals of nobility.

Petra, out in the woods hunting with admirable success.

Dorothea, everywhere and any activity, which so far included singing, gossiping, and rating her compatibility with the various students and Knights.

Mercedes, who was assisting in their mission that month, in the cathedral listening to hymns and discussing the various notes in the advice box.

And that day, she stood outside the door to Bernadetta's room, waiting patiently for her to come out.

"I'm just feeling ill, Professor! It's totally nothing to do with you and how I do not want to talk to you at all!"

"Bernadetta, we'll go wherever you want to go. Just as long as it's outside your room," she said. "We can even just sit here on your doorstep."

"But why? Why do you want to talk to me? Have I disappointed you in some way?"

"Not in the slightest, Bernadetta. I would like to get to know you a little better, that's all." At a sharp wail, she hastily continued, "but I will not force you either. We can simply sit in silence, if that's what you prefer."

"Silence?" The door creaked open slightly and one grey eye peeked out. "I wouldn't have to say anything?"

She nodded. "Not if you don't want to."

The door shut in her face.

She blinked.

Then Bernadetta stepped out, wringing her hands. "I guess… we could sit in silence if you're really alright with that."

"I am." Byleth smiled. She moved to sit on the step in front of Bernadetta's room, staring out towards the fish pond.

Slowly, Bernadetta sank to her ground beside Byleth, hugging her knees.

For most of an hour, they sat.

Saying nothing.

And in that silence, Byleth's thoughts—as it was wont to do lately—drifted to Edelgard.

Ever since the Red Canyon, Edelgard no longer shied away from Byleth when she corrected her form or sat by her to discuss their texts. After class, Edelgard would stay behind so they could have relevant civilised discussions about Byleth's newfound knowledge, the princess often bringing books for Byleth to read that had little summary notes tucked into the pages. In the evenings, Edelgard would dine with Byleth, often with a few of the Black Eagles in tow; read in companionable silence in the library; or teach Byleth chess, a strategic board game she enjoyed. And in the weekends, Edelgard might request her company to the markets to browse the new wares or to town to run some errands, Hubert a shadow at their backs.

"Thank you, Professor," Bernadetta said, jarring her from her thoughts. The purple-haired girl was leaning casually against the step, more relaxed in posture. "That was quite nice, in fact, to be in the sun and feel the air."

Byleth smiled. "You are welcome. Thank you for sitting with me."

"Thank you for not pushing me to… I do enjoy being in my room! I wouldn't want everyone to think I'll be happy to spend all my time outside now!"

"I understand. But sometimes a little change is good."

"You're right…" Bernadetta sent her a shy smile. "Perhaps… perhaps we could do it again sometime?"

"That would be nice."

Bernadetta beamed.

And when Byleth left, it was with a warm tingle in her chest.

The next day, she was walking through the dining hall gardens when Dorothea hailed her.

"Good afternoon, Professor!" Dorothea waved her over to the gazebo to join her and Petra. They were having tea and cake. "You're looking rather satisfied with yourself."

"Oh, you do," Petra agreed, pulling out a chair for her to sit on while Dorothea poured her a cup of tea. "What is giving you the satisfaction, Professor?"

They looked at her expectantly.

"I…" She hesitated, not realising she had been looking particularly satisfied. "I was just spending some time with Edelgard. It was nice."

"Oh…" Dorothea wriggled her brows suggestively. "Some nice time, hmm?"

Both of them looked at her blankly.

"… Yes?"

"Ah, I know!" Petra clicked her fingers in triumph. "Is "nice" not describing enough? My knowing is "nice" can mean many things. You must be clear, Professor."

Dorothea stared at Petra. "I… ugh! Never mind." She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her tea.

Petra nodded sagely. "Just so we are all in clarity, Professor, what meaning of nice do you mean when spending time with Edelgard?"

"Hmm," Byleth considered the question as Petra picked up her cake. "We were discussing the benefits and weaknesses of weapon materials—I suppose it was enlightening?"

"Oh, for the love of the Goddess," Dorothea huffed, slamming her cup down on the table. "I was not in any seriousness enquiring about the definition of "nice". I was merely implying there might be romantic undertones to all this time you're spending together!"

Byleth sprayed her tea out in a fine mist; Petra dropped her spoon with a loud clatter.

"R–Romantic?" Byleth stuttered.

"Lady Edelgard?" Petra gasped.

Dorothea frowned. "Is the notion of Edelgard as a romantic partner so abhorrent to have induced such reactions?"

"No," Petra said, then laughed and picked up her spoon. "I am only surprised thinking of Lady Edelgard being romantic. The princess is always serious."

"I do not have romantic feelings." The confession fell from Byleth's lips before she could think.

Petra and Dorothea stared at her.

"I mean—" Byleth felt very hot. The hottest she has felt her whole life. "It's not something I've thought about before."

"Oh, Professor!" Dorothea laughed. "How cute! I don't think I've ever seen you blush like that before."

"Yes! Your cheeks are the red of fresh blood!" Petra agreed.

"Have you been on a date before?" Dorothea leaned forward eagerly.

Byleth stood up, the chair nearly toppling over. "I should go. Thank you for the tea."

"Oh! But you still have tea!"

"You're our age, Professor! There is no shame in talking about romance. You might even come to have romantic feelings for any of us! Even me!" Dorothea teased. "Shall we go on a date?"

"Dorothea! I am thinking our Professor is not liking this topic of conversation." Petra chided. "And if you want, I will go on a date with you."

Dorothea and Byleth stared at Petra.

"I—" That might be the first time Byleth had seen Dorothea at a loss for words.

But Petra turned to Byleth, a grin on her face. "Go now, Professor! Escape!"

"Ah! You!" Dorothea glared at Petra, who stuck her tongue out cheekily, then looked back at Byleth. "Professor, you cannot run away from love! And just so you know, it's Edelgard's birthday on the twenty-second and her favourite flowers are carnations!"

Byleth already knew that. But she wasn't going to say that to Dorothea.

She fled instead, still feeling rather hot under her collar.

Byleth was a quick learner.

After Dorothea mentioned that gift-giving and birthdays were important, she had made a list of everyone's birthdays and their favourite teas, gifts, and flowers.

And so, a few nights later, as Byleth patrolled the monastery grounds after curfew, she thought about the presents she'd prepared for Edelgard. She had negotiated with the southern merchant for a week, and was satisfied with the final price and quality of his delivery—a bouquet of fresh carnations, a book of Byleth's favourite heroic tales, and a box of gourmet sweets only found in one particular shop in the Empire that Edelgard had recently mentioned craving. She felt a little foolish putting in so much effort for Edelgard, but the thought of a soft smile on the princess' face would be worth it—

A chilling scream scattered all thoughts.

Byleth sprinted straight to the source.

Edelgard's room.

Hilda and Hubert stood in their nightclothes at her door in a heated discussion. Whimpers and cries wafted from inside.

"—use your key!" Hilda was saying agitatedly.

"She might wake up by herself soon!" Hubert hissed back.

"What's going on?" Byleth asked. "Is Edelgard alright?"

"Edelgard gets night terrors," Hilda explained. "But she can be comforted. I was telling Hubert to do it so we can all go to sleep!"

"It's alright!" Hubert called over their shoulders as more students popped their heads out of their rooms in confusion. "Nothing's the matter."

Another sharp cry contradicted his words.

"If you don't open her door now, Hubert, I will break it down," Hilda warned. "Edelgard would not want the entirety of Garreg Mach to hear this!"

"It hasn't been this bad in a long time… She will wake up soon," Hubert mumbled to himself, his words almost a prayer.

"Edelgard!" Byleth tried, knocking on her door. "Edelgard! It's Byleth."

"Hubert, for fuck's sake—"

"Wait a while—"

The door swung open.

Edelgard stood clutching her black silk dressing robe at the waist. Her hair was messy and she looked drained.

"Are you alright, Lady Edelgard?" Hubert asked at once.

She blinked at them in confusion. "I—why are you all here?"

"You were having night terrors again," Hilda explained brusquely, but her face was gentle.

"Oh." Edelgard's face fell. "My apologies for waking you."

"But you're fine now. So I'll go back to sleep." Hilda walked back to her room. "The rest of you go back to sleep too!" She called out to the few who were still looking out their doors, then shut her door.

Edelgard pulled her robe tighter, looking much smaller than she usually did. "I'm sorry for the disturbance," she said. "But I'm alright. Please be on your way, my teacher."

"Are you sure?" Byleth asked softly. "I can stay a while, if you like."

Edelgard met her gaze, and something unreadable flickered in her eyes. Byleth thought she would refuse, but after a while, she nodded. "I would like that," she said, equally as soft.

"Are you sure?" Hubert said. "I can stay with you—"

"That's alright, Hubert. Please, go to bed."

Hubert glanced worriedly at Byleth but bowed, obeisance to Edelgard absolute. "Very well. I will see you tomorrow."

"Thank you." Edelgard stepped back into her room, and Byleth followed, closing the door behind her.

A candle burned low on the desk, and Edelgard used it to light a few more candles, casting the room in a dim light. The sheets and blanket on her bed were tangled and strewn about, and a slight tang of sweat hung in the air.

Edelgard turned to her. Although she had straightened her hair, the serious mask she wore mere minutes ago slipped away, and exhaustion crept into her face.

Byleth stifled the sudden and unexpected urge to stroke her cheek.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Edelgard said. "You must have questions."

Byleth shook her head. "Not any that must be asked. We all have our own secrets."

Edelgard smiled. "That's considerate of you." She sunk onto the floor to sit against her bed, and drew her knees up to her chest. "But… well… I get nightmares," she said quietly. "Stupid, pointless dreams I can't control. It's frustrating and cumbersome, especially when they… as you saw, cause such disturbance to others."

Byleth sat beside her. "Anything I can help with?"

Edelgard angled her head to her. "It's sweet of you to offer. But no, they're worthless dreams of the past. Talking about them won't change a thing. It's embarrassing… I am the princess, heir of the Adrestinian Empire. I should be able to handle some nightmares."

"Well, Jeralt says it's good to talk about difficult things with somebody else," Byleth said. "And although it didn't change my nightmares, talking about it with him did help."

"Do you experience nightmares as well?"

"I've had a recurring nightmare since I was nine. Would you… care to hear it?"

Edelgard nodded, then rested her chin on her knees. Her gaze was dark, intent.

Byleth took a deep breath and expelled it. "I dream of two armies clashing in a war. There is much violence. Then, a man and woman fight to the death. The man dies every time. The woman stabs him viciously until he bleeds out."

"How awful… Was it a war you participated in?"

"No. The scale of the war is larger than anything I've ever witnessed." She swallowed. "But when the woman stabs the man… somehow, I am the man. I feel her blade enter my body, stab after stab, unceasingly. I know it's not real, but yet I feel the pain every time."

"My teacher…" Edelgard murmured, her hands tightening into fists. "That sounds terrible."

"Like you said—pointless dreams. But talking about them with Jeralt, like this with you… it helps." Byleth mustered a weak smile.

"You didn't make that up just so I would share my nightmares, did you?" Edelgard asked, a small smile in return, which turned into a soft laugh at the anxiety that creased Byleth's face. "I'm teasing!" she said. "I can tease too, you know?"

"Ah… I thought no teasing was allowed? So, I see the princess is above the rules."

A scandalised expression coloured Edelgard's face. "No one is above the rules!"

Byleth smiled.

"Ah! You vex me!" Edelgard harrumphed. "But I could… try," she said, more quietly. "Only if you swear not to tell a soul."

"You can trust me with anything, Edelgard."

"Anything?"

Their gazes held. Candlelight flickered in the depths of Edelgard's eyes.

"Anything," Byleth said again, very softly.

"I… appreciate it," Edelgard said, then sucked in a deep breath like she was steeling herself. "My teacher, you must know by now that I used to have ten siblings? Eight older, two younger. We were a large family, and yet I became the heir of the Adrestinian Empire."

Byleth nodded. She had learnt that Edelgard once had siblings, but not the reason for their absence.

"That is because every last one of them eventually became crippled by disease, lost their minds, or died. I was the only one left who could inherit the throne. I, alone, now carry the weight of the Adrestinian Empire on my shoulders."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Edelgard."

"Thank you. My nightmares… I dream of my siblings," Edelgard continued in a softer voice. "I … dream of my older brother, paralysed, helpless. My older sister, crying for help that never came. I see my family dying slowly, waiting in the darkest depths for a glimmer of light." Anguish flared on her face. "They die beside me, sobbing, babbling nonsense."

"Edelgard…" It felt like a band of iron had constricted around Byleth's chest. Tight, suffocating. She wanted to do what Jeralt did at times like this—take her hand to comfort her. But she didn't know if Edelgard would be okay with that. So, she settled for inadequate words. "That's horrible. No one should have to suffer dreams like that."

"Thank you," Edelgard said. "I was the only one who survived what we went through. The only one who will remember their suffering. Their deaths. These nightmares, while pointless, are a reminder. To never allow such things to happen again when I am emperor."

"What happened?"

Edelgard clenched her jaw, the words fighting in her throat.

Byleth waited.

But Edelgard shook her head. "I've already shared more than I intended to. I've never spoken about my past to anyone before. Have never felt… comfortable enough to. There must be something in the air tonight. Please forget all that I've just said."

"Edelgard…" Byleth murmured, turning her body so she faced her. "I could never forget what you have just entrusted me with. I will not push for more. But know this—I do not think any different of you for sharing what hurts you. In fact, I think you stronger for it."

Edelgard looked at her a long while.

And Byleth looked back. She took in Edelgard's long lashes, slightly parted lips, the swallow in her throat; the way Edelgard's body tilted towards her, and the smaller space than she'd thought between them.

Then, Edelgard smiled, and the tightness in Byleth's chest eased. "Thank you," she said. "That is, again, sweet of you."

Byleth nodded. "Although," she said, more lightly. "I wish you'd shared about your nightmares first… Dreaming about an imaginary war seems nothing compared to what your nightmares are about. That's one way to make me look like a fool…"

"I wasn't trying to—ah, you are teasing me now!" A reluctant smile tugged at Edelgard's lips, and the oppressive air of the room lifted.

"Since you made a mockery of your rules, so can I." Byleth smiled and got to her feet. "I shall let you get some sleep. Thank you for sharing what you did with me."

Edelgard raised her eyes to hers. "Thank you for listening and staying a while. It was… comforting."

Byleth nodded. "Shall I blow out your candles?"

"Oh… yes, please." Edelgard got to her feet too. "But do leave the one on the end of the desk. I… don't like the dark."

"I understand." As she went to do so, she noticed the clock on the desk, and her breath caught. "Oh, Edelgard?"

"Hmm?" Edelgard looked up at her expectantly, an odd flush in her cheeks.

"Happy birthday."

"Oh." Her face fell for a second, as though she was hoping for Byleth to say something else, but then she smiled. "You remembered."

"Of course. Um…" she said. "Could you come to the common room at ten in the morning? I have a present for you." Then hastily added, "I have given all students a present for their birthday!"

Edelgard frowned. "And I'm just like every other student, I suppose."

Byleth hesitated, confused at her reaction. "… Yes?" She thought harder. "Ah! You are also house leader, a capable one. I have ensured a good present. I promise."

That made Edelgard chuckle. She shook her head, as though chiding herself, then smiled a full smile. One that made Byleth's chest warm all over again. "I will see you tomorrow. Especially since you promised me a good present," Edelgard said. "Sleep well, my teacher."

Byleth nodded. "You too." She blew out the candles—but not the one on the end of the desk—and left.

The next morning, as agreed, Edelgard met Byleth in the common room, where she found the presents she prepared.

Byleth shuffled nervously on her feet.

The bouquet, Edelgard brought to her face and sniffed, a bright smile at their beauty.

The book of heroic tales, she snorted a little and promised to read.

But at the box of sweets, pure joy buoyed the princess, and she threw herself into Byleth's arms.

All at once, everything was Edelgard and Edelgard only. The press of her body, her hair in her face, the jasmine scent. Byleth's chest tightened; her pulse spiked.

"Oh, why, hello…" came Dorothea's sultry voice.

They sprang apart—their cheeks pink—to see Dorothea, Petra, and Hubert staring at them from the door, the other Black Eagles trying to peek around them curiously.

"I—I was… I was simply thanking the professor for my present!" Edelgard thrust the box of sweets out towards them with both hands.

With a raised brow, Dorothea said, "Well, I hope you're as enthusiastic about my present…" She and the Black Eagles came into the room. "I—"

Ferdinand shoved Dorothea aside, rolling in a trolley with a gigantic cake and carnation petals. "But not as enthusiastic as she will be about my present, as the best gift-giver in all of Fódlan. A better gift-giver than even Edelgard herself!" He gestured to the trolley. "Chocolate matcha cake and your favourite flowers!" He bowed with a flourish.

Everything devolved after that.

Dorothea retorted sharply at Ferdinand, who snapped back, and they fell into their usual bickering. Caspar and Bernadetta led Edelgard to the cake, where Petra offered her a knife so she could cut it, and Mercedes distributed the plates. Linhardt yawned at the celebrations but accepted cake enthusiastically enough. And Hubert came over to judge Byleth's presents, inspecting them as though they might be poisoned.

But as Byleth watched them all crowd around Edelgard, laughing with each other and teasing smiles out of their serious (and in that moment, still flustered) leader, she had the fleeting thought that Edelgard was not as alone as she thought herself to be. That she might have lost her family, but if she let herself, may yet find another in the Black Eagles.

And when Caspar dragged Byleth over to join them—where Bernadetta handed her a plate, Petra placed the largest slice of cake ever on said plate, and Edelgard smiled softly at her from across the trolley—she also had the fleeting thought that although she started building bonds with the Black Eagles with the intention of useful connections, she had found herself enjoying the time spent with them much more than she ever thought she would.

Perhaps she would even be able to regard them as friends one day.