Looking at the rear mirror, Ai could see the still defeated-looking Nino's head waving to the rhythm of the car. Seemingly too tired or out of sorts to pay attention to anything. It's not like Ai herself was in any better shape, but the "neutral" expression she held (read: small smile, wide-open eyes) still held even as Miyako gave her a side glance from time to time whenever she could. Driving a little faster than usual but not enough that Ai felt worried about it.

It might just be because they were on the highway, in the end.

"Are you alright?" Miyako-san spoke up, and that startled Nino a bit. But she quickly went back to her unresponsive state. Maybe realizing that the older woman was not talking to her.

"Yeah." She did feel her limbs light, and her head had some difficulty grasping at anything concrete for more than a handful of seconds. But otherwise, Ai felt normal. Dissatisfied, but normal. "Long day, huh."

Miyako-san scoffed.

"You can say that again." The woman kept her eyes on the road, more serious now that she'd heard Ai sound like her usual self. Settling for a silence that had Ai turn on the radio so that it'd become less awkward.

The song playing out wasn't hers, but it sounded cheerful enough that Ai could naturally pick up the rhythm. Move her head along while it lasted. She busied herself like this, keeping herself sharp as the co-pilot. Sometimes sneaking glances at Nino and Miyako-san. Making sure everything was alright. She knew that their trusty pilot would not suddenly fall asleep and make them crash, but it helped immensely to have something to do. Even more than looking for a station playing anything from B-Komachi. She could've used a playlist from any of their phones, but what was the point? She knew them all by heart, it'd be more difficult to keep herself distracted.

Which she only needed for a bit as, eventually, they dropped Nino somewhere in the city. The darkness made it so Ai couldn't identify her surroundings, but she saw Miyako follow Nino into the place she was supposed to go, and come back into the vehicle while Ai played with her phone a bit.

She didn't start the engine, so Ai mentally switched gears to take on anything Miyako-san had to inquiry.

"Are you hungry?" Miyako-san didn't look at Ai. She had her hands on the wheel, eyes onto the road. But she still didn't make the vehicle move. "I bought Nino something off a burger place, but I don't think she left anything…"

Ai considered the question for a moment.

"Not really, no. Are you?"

"I had a small burger." The woman sighed. "But I could use a drink or two right about now."

"Err... I don't know how to drive." Ai's eyebrows got closer, showing the hesitation to become the designated driver.

Miyako-san shook her head with amusement.

"Right. Guess I can do something at home." She started the engine now, giving the direction where she'd seen Nino last another look before actually driving off. Seemingly going back to her own thoughts while Ai turned down the volume a bit.

"You think she'll be alright?"

"I hope so. We should probably touch base with her family sooner rather than later…" Miyako-san shook her head again. "I don't even remember tomorrow's schedule. Damn."

"It's alright, as long as she's home that's at least one worry out of the way."

"We can't just let her go around doing things unsupervised. Ideally, we'd have her guardians knowing what's happening at least." Miyako-san's frown deepened. "Then again, she's already an adult… Phew, I don't know. I'm too tired to think about this right now."

"That's fine, I promised I'd protect her." Ai offered a smile that Miyako-san didn't turn to look at. "Even if we do the auditions and stuff, it's still Nino-chan. I gotta be strict with whoever comes around. Right?"

"I guess…"

"Besides, what good would it be if we just abandon her like that? I'd rather keep one of our trusty girls around. Show what we're all about." Ai nodded to herself; voice small but clear. "Might be too much for her to lose her place too…"

"That's… We'll see." Miyako-san didn't seem to like Ai's line of thought. "I wouldn't want to go against my word soon after talking with that little group. It feels… Dirty."

"Let me do my part." Ai shrugged. "You don't have to worry about it."

"Of course, but the idea is to keep the cleanest record we can." Miyako-san replied. "And that includes honestly deciding what is the best for both B-Komachi and Niino."

The best for both, huh…

"Which brings us back to the most important topic." Miyako-san gave Ai a side glance, looking a bit older than usual when their eyes met. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Ai scoffed. "Long day, huh."

"Right." Miyako-san's chest rose like she was holding her breath, preventing herself from sighing. And when she spoke, her voice sounded a bit strangled. "For what it's worth, yes. I get it. It's been a stressful day for everyone. Even Ichigo must be tearing his hair out while juggling the twins and… Whatever he's doing right now."

"And Miyako-san too." Ai tilted her head. "You've been doing your best all this time."

"Yeah, I deserve a break." Miyako chuckled to herself. "Let me finishing cleaning up this mess, and I'll take a few days off."

"Sounds good. We did get an invitation to a SPA growing in popularity?"

"Ah, yes. But no. Maybe going for hot springs. Why go to a SPA when we have the real deal…?"

Ai chuckled at that.

"Please don't eat away our budget on your vacations."

"You should probably come along." Miyako-san looked at Ai for a moment again. "Bring the twins for a few days. No shootings, no exercise of dance practices. Just us relaxing. How does that sound?"

"We're just bouncing back from the accident, Miyako-san." Ai shook her head. "We can't be lenient now."

"See, I don't really agree with that. We could even cover up Nino's thing a little bit if we all take a break." Miyako-san smiled bitterly, making Ai snap her face away from that expression without really knowing why. "Give the girls some time off. That might be good for everyone."

Ai pursed her lips, making a point of looking like she was thinking about it.

"I don't think that's convenient. We'll lose momentum."

"We don't need the momentum." Miyako-san laughed. "Taking it easy might be better in the long run. You made it, your popularity won't go anywhere if we slow down now. Tokyo Dome will still be trigger happy because of… The accident… So giving them time to calm down and let us in is necessary anyway."

"I don't think Ichigo-san would like that." Ai pointed out.

"Ichigo will understand. Any industry has compromises being struck all the time." Miyako-san shook her head. "It's not just about the spectacle, the lighting, the choreography. There's so much more to look out for."

Ai shrugged.

"I leave those things to you. I only dip my hands in places I can."

"That's why I'm putting it on the table."

Ai chuckled, letting her head plop as she relaxed her neck muscles. Letting Miyako-san know that she was taking the hint.

"I'm fine."

"I don't think so." Miyako-san replied with a strict tone. Her hands gripping the wheel harder. "I don't think so at all."

"…"

"You were eavesdropping on us." Ai stated. Not coldly or in an accusatory way, but it still sounded to her that it lacked the usual light that her words usually had.

"I was wondering why you weren't at Hiratsuka's house, that's all."

"Hiratsuka?"

"The siblings' teacher." Miyako-san didn't bat an eye at the confusion.

"Ah, that woman." Ai let herself frown a bit.

"Yes, her." Miyako-san nodded. "Is something wrong? Did she say something to you? Do something?"

Ai blinked, trying to remember if she had interacted with the woman at all.

"I don't think so."

"Are you sure?"

"I mean, I think she offered me dinner." Ai scratched her chin.

"That's… Pretty nice of her, actually."

"Right?"

"Okay." Miyako-san let out a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Yeah." Ai pushed her chest forward, moving her shoulders back to stretch them in the cramped space of her seat. "Long day, huh."

Miyako-san looked at her for a moment, worry painted all over her face.

"…" Ai saw through the corner of her eye how the woman went through several stages of grief, growing redder by the minute but being unable to close her eyes or cover her face. For fear of releasing the wheel. Ai looked down, but she couldn't see the woman's feet. Maybe she should learn to drive so that she can use a car to stay focused? "You know, Ai. Before I worked for Ichigo, I dealt with a lot of guys in the Minato Ward. It's not easy to pretend someone's charismatic, funny, or even interesting for a living. I…"

Ai's expression broke a little when her mouth twitched. With her smile becoming more strained and her eyes narrowing down as the woman spoke.

What the hell, Miyako-san? Weren't those the kinds of girls she'd told Ichigo-san not go be around? What did that have to do with anything?

"…And, I mean, sure. You'll never have to go through having to coddle to high-spec men that are just looking to have some eye candy held by the waist." Miyako-san sounded a bit aphonic. Like she couldn't bring the words out by herself. "Hell, I don't think you'd ever be in a situation where a guy makes you do anything that you don't want…"

Ai licked her lips without thinking. Just a momentary display of her tongue, that gave her no lingering taste of anything at all.

"But the point is, knowing people requires a certain… Let's call it "malice", y'know."

That made Ai snapped out of her thoughts.

"Malice?"

"It might be the wrong way to put it. But a lot of time you have to be on guard, look out for the jerks and criminals-in-potency." Miyako-san released a bit of her breath, nervous. "In our line of work, people will always look to take advantage of us. It makes personal relationships so much harder."

Ai pressed her lips tightly.

"It's not just the industry, Miyako-san." She looked at herself through the mirror, seeing that the glower in her eyes had fallen off. Realizing that she hadn't been able to maintain the illusion thanks to the silly topic. "It has always been like this for me."

Wherever she went, whatever she did, people would always find reasons to shun her. To despise her. Ai held no illusion that she could be normal, that she could blend into this world that had rejected her since the beginning. But, well, she wanted to think that someone so unlike her, so far away from the norm she'd come to know that it might as well be a different kind of extraordinary, would find a place for her. Would let her in, make her bathe in the light. Close her eyes, let her be a part of something… Something beautiful.

Was Ai really this undesirable? Was the girl beneath the mask really so little that it was pointless to pick her up? In this whole world, only one person hadn't rejected her. Was that really it? Only one? When there were countless others? Just the one?

Ai let out her breath slowly, feeling her chest tighten up painfully. Unwittingly making her try to clasp it, grab the metaphorical tightness and try to tear herself free.

"Well… That's because you're one of a kind." Miyako-san chuckled. "I'm just glad you're not finding yourself in the jaws of some bastard."

Ai gave Miyako-san a half-lidded stare. Her mouth partially open, her features getting worse as the woman's words made Ai feel something akin to the tightness in her chest. But less cold. More… Red-hot.

"I think you got the wrong idea."

"I did. At first." The woman with light-brown hair scoffed. "There's a lot of people that will play along, give their backs to avoid trouble. That's… I wish I'd realized sooner that this is not the case."

Ai closed her mouth, still not understanding Miyako-san's words. But feeling the hotness in the pit of her stomach recede all the same.

"I… Well, full disclosure? I'm not actually sure if we can fire idols for being in a relationship." Miyako-san chuckled. "I believe the contract says something along the lines of "highly discouraged for safety and publicity reasons". More or less, I'm not sure. It might actually be illegal to forbid people from doing that sort of stuff. Not sure right now."

"Right…"

"Point is. I want you to take a moment to step back, relax. It's too soon to go around doing strange things. We'll figure out how to keep your private life safe, safer. We know you're discrete. Damn, you're very good at that." Miyako-san shook her head. "So… It's okay if you want to play around for a bit. Not take things seriously. Let the shock and still-fresh memory settle. We're here with you."

Ai's expression had become neutral. Not Ai-chan's neutral, but truly blank instead.

"It won't happen again." Miyako-san hissed. Not angry at her, no longer stressed out. But with a fire in her eyes that Ai couldn't understand. "You will be fine. This won't repeat."

"Miyako-san…"

The woman gave her a side glance, mixed with a bit of a strained smile.

"I'm glad you're getting something out of this, at least."

"What could that be?" Ai looked away, seeing her new apartment complex fast approaching in front of them.

"Haha. I don't know. You've never told me." Miyako-san parked before continuing, making sure to give her whole attention to Ai so that the point would come across. "But whatever it is, it's certainly important enough to make sure this is it. Right?"

Ai blinked a couple of times, a bit taken aback.

"I mean, I don't mean to pry but…"

"You already did." Ai pursed her lips.

"…But it sounds to me like it'd be heartbreaking if this is not it." Miyako-san fixed Ai's hair, pulling a stray strand behind her hear. "And, like people, you really need to test out the waters first. It's the same for all relationships. Family, friends… Lovers…"

Miyako-san didn't look straight at Ai anymore.

"It's all about… Teamwork. You're sharing a portion of your life with them, after all. How compatible, how much better they make your life, how much you can let them in… No relationship is the same as the other. And we all have to figure these things out." Miyako-san pushed the button to unfasten Ai's seatbelt, giving the girl a sidewise smile. "And that, Ai, requires time. Time that just so happens you have to let pass anyways. Isn't that convenient?"

…

Miyako-san left the car, prompting the idol to do the same. Following her instead of leading, in spite of heading to Ai's own home. The Saitou couple hadn't moved her closer to them significantly, that might present its own problems. But at least Ai knew that they'd be closer. It did help her nerves a bit, if only in case she needed to call them up for something. Especially for taking the twins to school. Hopefully Ai would be able to do that herself for middle and high school. Now… Now she needed it to happen. She needed to be able to do that, as she became aware that the possibility to the contrary existed.

Miyako-san stopped and exhaled with her face looking up. Under the street light, it didn't appear visible. The air wasn't chilly enough for that. But it'd be soon enough. It wasn't a worry as they went upstairs, but it'd be.

"We're back~." Ai said in a small voice as they entered the apartment. Clad in darkness except for the light of a laptop atop the coffee table of Ai's living room, in front of which Ichigo-san sat on the floor and only stopped typing when they turned the lights on.

"Ow… Welcome back." The man lazily got to his feet, rubbing his eyes while Miyako-san threw her purse at the couch. Letting Ai look around to see if something had changed since they left in a hurry. "The kids are in bed already. They might be a bit rowdy tomorrow, but everything's fine."

"Thanks for the hard work~." Ai mumbled while Miyako-san went to the kitchen. "Nothing has come up online?"

"I don't know." Ichigo-san sounded defeated. "I stopped looking like half an hour after you left."

"What?" Ai tilted her head. "What were you doing then?"

"I'm working in the schedule." Ichigo-san gave her a look like he couldn't believe she was asking. "Gotta make it all seem natural, like everyone's taking it easy. Then we slip Nino out… Y'know. And so we have a few days free."

"That's…" Ai's gaze went to Miyako-san, or at least the place she'd been. Because she didn't actually see the woman. "Isn't that counterintuitive?"

"Wow, big words. You've gotten better with them."

"I don't want to hear that from the man that uses sunglasses inside to look cool." Ai shot the man with a raised eyebrow. Still feeling weird inside, chest a bit tight, but with enough energy to not let Ichigo-san's nonsense slide.

"Again, it's all part of the plan. We can't do things half-heartedly. It's the same as any public appearance or concert: All the planning and backstage work is what makes it successful."

"…"

"Besides, wouldn't it be great if we had a bit of free time? I'd have thanked Nino if we weren't bordering on a lawsuit thanks to her." His frown deepened, letting the tension show on his face for a fraction of a moment before his jovial tone returned. "Of course, you should still stream a bit. But we can relax, the accident is still fresh, we're returning. It's bound to be imperfect. Maybe B-Komachi struggling to get back to their feet might attract attention? It's fabricated, so there's less trouble compared to if we were going down for real."

Ai didn't believe it, but Ichigo-san put a hand on her shoulder.

"If you're with us, we don't have anything to worry about. Plus, it's starting to get cold. We need to pivot for the season." Ichigo-san nodded to himself, making Ai cringe a bit as she remembered the last Christmas suit she'd been forced to use. The fabric had bothered her to no end, and her back felt itchy for days on end due to the weird way the hair-like ends of the neck and wrists caressed her skin.

"Gotta prepare for that…" She nodded to herself, glad to have something else bothering her.

"Come to think of it. Tomorrow we're dropping the twins off, and we're grabbing a bite." Ichigo-san turned around, closing the laptop to put it away and get ready to leave. "Think where you want to have breakfast. Okay?"

"Okay?" Ai looked at him with skepticism. The things that Miyako-san told her coming back to her mind quickly enough.

"We'll discuss what happened today then. Right now, I'm tired and I need a shower."

"Ah, I'm glad you noticed." He didn't have to mention it, Ai could tell since she entered the living room.

"Tsk. This girl, really…" Ichigo-san shook his head, seeing his wife emerge from the kitchen sipping from a glass of water.

Ai couldn't tear her eyes away from Miyako-san's lips, making her lick her own. Trying to find a taste that wasn't there.

"We could go check more warm clothes for the twins too." Ichigo-san slung his bag pack on his right shoulder, sounding ready to leave the apartment. "It's not cold enough yet, but it'll start snowing soon enough. Can't have it catching them unprepared. They're growing fast."

Sounded like a day to spend just walking around, eating out. Visiting stores with the kids when they finished the school day…

Ai smiled a bit.

"Sounds like a plan."

Ichigo-san nodded, looking at Miyako-san when she left the glass on the coffee table. Ai was so not cleaning that off tonight.

"Then, rest well." Ichigo-san put a hand on her shoulder again. "Please be awake when we arrive."

Ai chuckled at that.

"No promises."

The man scanned her face, taking his time to really look at the way Ai couldn't quite keep her smile up. In spite of doing her best to lift up the barrier, keep the shield covering her cowering form.

His left arm extended around her small shoulders, pulling her in and forcibly subjecting her to his body odor in a one-handed huge. It took her a bit by surprise, making her freeze. But, because she had no eyes on her, she let the shield down. Surrounding his lower back with her own arms.

She was shaking.

"Good grief, what am I going to do with you…?" Ichigo-san whispered, covering Ai's back with his other hand. "And to think I was gonna invite you to your first beer the night after the concert…"

"Beer sucks." Ai whimpered. "It's so nasty…"

"Hey, how would you know?"

"I had a taste before."

"Sounds like you were around people with shit taste." Ichigo-san chuckled. "I'll show you what good quality is. Let's just find a peaceful evening, okay?"

"But it sucks…"

"Hey, a second opinion doesn't hurt." Ichigo-san pulled back. Making Ai shy away and look down so her hair could help her cover her face before she was ready to be seen. Ichigo-san pulled her chin up, revealing the starless eyes that she'd been trying to hide. He didn't seem to mind when he gave her a knowing smile. "Besides, when has listening to me ever been a bad decision?"

Ai took a moment to think about it.

"…You can say 'never' now." Ichigo-san frowned after a few seconds passed in silence.

"Eh…"

Ichigo-san clicked his tongue.

"Fine, be that way." He released her, patting her back before Ai noticed that they were heading out. "Put on the lock, okay? We'll see you tomorrow."

Ai didn't know what expression she had when Miyako-san gave her a demure wave.

"Rest well, Ai."

"Yeah…" Ai sighed. "It's been a long day."

Too many things happened, too many things to process. So, even when she went to bed, she couldn't close her eyes. Her mind was a mess, she didn't what to think or do. She couldn't even adapt to it, because she couldn't pinpoint at a single thing she needed to put her all into.

Ichigo-san was right. She needed prep time, things wouldn't be perfect otherwise. And all that work and effort always paid off. Even if it looked like it was hard and it'd lead nowhere.

She put her fingers on her lips before she bit into the lower one. Trying to replicate the sensation that turned her brain to mush. That threw all her worries out of the window.

That connection, that click, it was real. It had to be, because people don't just let others invade their mouths like Ai did… Right? Yeah, that makes sense. All the lessons about acting demure, about being cute… It had to come from somewhere.

Ai's eyes sharpened. She didn't get it. It felt like it was the same as always: Like someone she wanted to get close to pushed her away. Like she was undesirable.

But… That's not the whole picture, is it? Their fates are still tied. She will still see him.

She brought up her phone, looking at the message she'd been neglecting thus far.

[Please tell me when you get home. I'll wait.]

If she could look at herself, Ai would've noticed how bitter her smile was.

[home]

She put the device away, staring at the ceiling without being able to think about anything.

She licked her lips once more.

Right. When had listening to Ichigo-san been a bad idea? Backstage planning, hard work… right.

Ai had wanted to learn. It hadn't mattered how at first, but now it was a bit more complicated. Different. Her heart was a mess, she had no idea what went wrong, and she felt like her face would shatter into a thousand million pieces… But hadn't that been the case at the beginning? Dancing, singing… If her teacher is good, if there's patience, then Ai should… Maybe she could do this.

"Can't throw the towel on the first failure…" Ai turned in bed, licking her lips again. At least it didn't taste of alcohol anymore.

Ai could do it. Ichigo-san might've given her the chance, but she was the one that led everyone to success. It was by her own hand that things worked. Her efforts, her time, her talent. Even if she met things that she didn't understand, especially when it came to these sorts of matters, she'd simply do her best and succeed. Easy enough.

"Hehehe… Cute little sweaters." Ai's smile came up more readily. Small, still broken, but present. The warmth that thinking of her children gave her was real. Available. And she'd need it to weather the incoming storm.

It'd start snowing soon enough, after all. They all needed cute new outfits for it, after all. Be found ready and presentable.

Someone started whimpering. How strange, there was no one but Ai in that room. What could that be…?