Haikyuu!
Higher
Chapter 15: Difference
Kageyama took a deep breath as he tried to calm his racing heart.
It was really something, playing against someone who was leading such a strong team. It wasn't like they were really exceptional players, unlike someone like Nishinoya or someone like Azumane. But it was their setter who was truly exceptional.
He was smart and controlled, and he knew how to handle his team.
"Just like Oikawa's their pillar, you are ours."
Kageyama didn't know if he could believe it. The gap between the scores was just becoming too large. It wouldn't be impossible to overcome, but it was a score that was intimidating, especially after coming off the backs of two overwhelming victories.
He wanted to be the pillar of Karasuno. He really did.
He wanted to lead them to nationals, lead them to victory. He wanted every toss to end in a point, and even if it didn't he wanted to know that there was still a chance to come back. He wanted to show strength and control, even in times when the team was backed into a corner that seemed impossible to get out of. He wanted to be able to stand before the team and promise them that he wouldn't let them down, and he wanted them to be able to believe him.
But how could they believe in him when he couldn't even come up with signals that weren't so incredibly easy to figure out?
How could they believe in him when he could feel himself shrinking beneath Oikawa's huge presence?
How could they believe in him when he didn't believe in himself?
He could feel his panic setting in, feel his racing heart that he'd worked to calm simply wind up again. He could feel it beating right out of his chest, like it was about to run out on the court to play and leave his body behind.
It was a terrifying feeling.
Aika said nothing as the timeout was called.
She had no new information about Aoba Josai. There were only the things that everyone had already figured out. Nothing she had collected was anything that was game-changing to know. The only things that she'd learned were about her own team.
"Kageyama."
Even though she'd already spoken to him, she could see how he was feeling. He turned to her, his shoulders clearly stiff from the pressure he'd put on himself.
"Please calm down," she said, trying to make her tone as soft as possible. "You're not helping anyone by making rash decisions and forcing yourself to take on the entire rest of the court." She took a deep breath upon seeing his face become offended. "I'm not saying you're doing poorly. I'm saying you need to rely on your team. We're all here."
She gently patted his arm, then moved back to the bench, where she gestured to Shoyo to come talk to her.
"What's up?" he asked, his wide eyes looking curious.
Aika looked to the rest of the team. "Shoyo, I need you to do something for your team." His eyes widened. "I need you to be the best decoy ever. You can't let this get you down, and you need to help bring back the morale of the team. You have to shine as bright as ever."
Sugawara noted a small presence next to him, and looked over to see the assistant coach. She didn't even look at him as she sighed heavily, glancing at the scoreboard.
"With Oikawa serving, point after point is going in Aoba Josai's direction. Everyone's morale is decreasing, and you can see that, too, right?" She looked up at Sugawara, who felt his chest jolt when he met her eyes.
Forcing himself to calm down, he nodded, looking back towards the game, where Aoba Josai continued to target Tanaka. "Yes. It's easy to see that they… that their end goal is to destroy our team's spirit," he admitted, hating how hurt and lost that his friend was feeling.
"You should start warming up."
He glanced to Aika in surprise. "What?" he found himself choking out.
She looked to him, seeming surprised by his surprise. "What do you mean, 'what?' You're still a setter, and you're still part of Karasuno. I tried talking to our stupid prodigy, but he's still panicking."
She sighed, looking to Kageyama, who was looking incredibly stressed out as he stood on the court. It was clear to Sugawara that his junior wasn't able to hold up too well against the pressure that was currently heaping on top of him.
"He doesn't look so good…"
"He's making stupid mistakes because he's scared. He doesn't like the way the score is going, so he's taking it upon himself to try to reverse it." She sighed again, running a hand through her hair as she put her other hand on her hip. "I told him that we needed him the same way Aoba Josai needs Oikawa. But I don't think he realizes what that way is." She looked to Sugawara again. "You do. If it gets worse, I'll call you over. If I do, leave your jacket here."
She turned, leaving him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He must've looked like a fish, but that didn't matter to him at the moment.
I could… I could play?
Tanaka was the hardest spirit to quell on Karasuno.
It was clear that he was hurting and upset, blaming himself and his skill level for the amount of points Aoba Josai had gained in just the past few plays. But if there was one thing that Tanaka was good at, it was recognizing that he wasn't alone.
After all, he was the loud mood maker who always knew exactly what to say whenever one of his teammates was feeling disgruntled about something or other. He'd been the one to cheer on every single one of his teammates whenever they got a point. He was even the first to congratulate all of his team with a smile as loud as his voice whenever they won.
Even if he knew that he wasn't the best player, he also knew that responsibility wasn't on him alone.
He was the spirit that Karasuno so desperately needed.
Breaking him was going to be next to impossible.
Even as both teams reconvened on the court, Tanaka forced himself to feel no fear. He was facing something that he knew like the back of his hand – a volleyball. No matter who was in front of him, the one thing that was always the same was that he was playing a game he knew very well.
And he knew that he could receive one stupid serve from one stupid guy.
As it hit him in the chest, he bit his lip as he saw it falling, as if in slow motion, towards the court. No one was close enough to help him out, and he knew that even Nishinoya would have trouble getting there in time, despite how fast their libero was.
Shit…
But a blur of orange came out of nowhere, diving for the ball and digging it back up, into the air, right towards another blur, who bumped it right over the net.
The ball flew towards that one stupid guy, and then back towards them.
This time, it was Nishinoya who desperately dove for the ball, keeping it from hitting their side of the court. Tanaka could feel the presences on all sides, feel his team right there with him as they prepared to begin their counterattack.
He wasn't the only person on his side of the court – on their side of the court. He was part of a group of sixteen amazing people, all of whom he respected. Some of the reasons he respected them were different than others, but he loved all of them just the same. They all inspired him to be even better than he had been the day before.
His voice would not be silenced here.
He wouldn't allow it.
"To the left!" he yelled, psyching himself up.
This was his game, just as much as anyone else's. Even if he wasn't the best player or the strongest player or the smartest player, he was still someone who'd earned his place standing alongside Karasuno, a team of the smartest, strongest, and best players he knew.
Maybe he was pretty okay after all.
His hand hit the ball, spiking it towards the exact place it needed to go. It landed without any interference, not even from that one stupid guy who had failed to silence him.
That point… that point was his point.
It was still 15-9, even after that disgusting duo's quick.
Oikawa settled his pulse, feeling the pressure and tension rolling off Tobio's shoulders in large, oppressive waves. If he could feel it all the way from where he stood on the other side of the court, he was sure that the rest of Karasuno was feeling it as well.
It was probably going to get even worse as the game went on, and as Oikawa continued to feed off of Tobio's panic and desperation.
He knew exactly how to push Tobio's buttons.
That point gap wasn't going to be lessening any time soon, no matter what Tobio tried to do. If Oikawa had any say in the matter, the gap would only increase, not decrease. There was nothing that Tobio could do to keep the gap from increasing – not when his panic was controlling his every action.
He had three more years of experience as a setter, and that was the biggest difference between them. If Tobio had his natural talent on his side, Oikawa had time. Perhaps it was only right then that Oikawa would be the one to knock his obnoxious prodigy of a junior down a few pegs, make him panic until he fell right back into his old habits.
Oikawa almost felt bad for the Karasuno team.
They deserved better than an oppressive setter who was prone to crumbling under pressure.
Perhaps if they had someone else, things could have gone differently.
Or not.
Either way, Aoba Josai would still take the win. Of that, Oikawa was very, very certain.
Aika could feel the stress radiating from Kageyama. It was a heavy, tense stress that was causing him to panic and move strangely. He wasn't the cool and collected Kageyama who could always make a smart move in any situation, the Kageyama that she was used to seeing.
No, this Kageyama was scared.
"Coach," she called softly. Ukai looked over to her. "We need to make a change."
Ukai sighed. "I know. Kageyama's losing his cool." He crossed his arms, and looked to her with a solemn expression. "We've practiced with Sugawara before, but I'm not sure if this is the right time to start him, especially without the first years really knowing his style."
She shook her head. "I know he'll be fine," she assured with a small, knowing smile. "Sugawara senpai's the type to adjust based on what his team needs, not what he wants. That's the one thing Kageyama doesn't understand. Maybe by watching his senpai, he'll be able to start getting it." She grinned, looking over to the silver-haired setter, who was yelling loudly, cheering for his team.
"I'll trust you on that, then." Ukai nodded, his own grin on his face, although his looked more like a grimace. "Call him over. We're going to put him in."
Aika's grin grew even wider as she looked for Sugawara once more. She met his eyes and beckoned him over. Upon seeing her calling for him, his eyes widened, and he looked as if he was about to cry from joy. Not that Aika could blame him.
He'd technically lost his position as a starting setter to his junior, and now, he was getting to play again in an official match, where the stakes were higher than ever before.
"Sugawara senpai, here." She handed him the sign with Kageyama's number, 9, on it. As he attempted to take it from her, she stopped him for a moment, holding onto it with both hands, trapping his hand under one of her own. Wide, surprised eyes met hers as she looked up at him, gazing at him with all the sincerity she could hold. "I know you'll do great. So, even if you can't save this one, just know that I believe you can help us take the next."
He nodded, his smile gentle as he pried the sign from her hands. As he did, he reached up to pat her head, his hand then moving to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear. She could feel herself blushing at his touch, hating the fact that he could cause blood to rush to her face at a time like this.
"Because you trust me, I'll play my best. In fact, I'll play even better." He smiled even wider at her crimson face, trying to suppress his laughter.
The red-faced girl just huffed. "Just get in there," she grumbled, shoving him forward.
He followed her push, walking to the bench and preparing for when he would step in to take his place on the court.
The whistle blew, signaling another point for Aoba Josai, giving them another point to put them even further in the lead.
Another whistle blew, signaling a player change.
Kageyama turned, his eyes widening with shock and hurt.
There stood Sugawara, his upperclassman. He was holding a sign that clearly said "9" on it.
There had to be a mistake. That was Kageyama's number. He was their – Karasuno's – setter. He was supposed to stay on the court, he was supposed to be the pillar that led their team to victory. He was supposed to win against Aoba Josai and against Oikawa. He couldn't be subbed out.
After a moment in which he refused to move, it became clear that Sugawara was not joking. He wasn't there for anyone else.
It was in that moment that Kageyama remembered that he wasn't Karasuno's only setter. Even if he was their starter, Sugawara was the one who'd been with Karasuno for almost three years. He'd been their trusted setter until Kageyama came in.
He supposed that it was no wonder he was being substituted.
He remembered all of his misplays in just the last few plays. He'd failed his dumps, he'd failed to toss to the proper person, he'd used a toss that was too low or too high for the spikers to get it over the net, and in his last play…
It'd gone sailing towards Tsukishima, but Kageyama had forgotten something so fundamental.
He'd forgotten that Tsukishima wasn't Hinata.
Tsukishima wasn't as fast as Hinata, and he didn't have the ability to jump as high or respond as quickly to Kageyama's crazy tosses. He wasn't able to perform the duo's freak quick, and that had cost Karasuno another point.
As much as Kageyama wanted to yell at Tsukishima, tell him to go faster, jump higher, and maybe then, he'd have been able to get that toss, he knew that it wasn't the beanpole's fault.
It was his.
He'd failed as a setter.
Knowing that he'd failed, he slowly allowed his legs to drag him towards the edge of the court, reluctantly leaving behind the place he'd fought so hard to stay on. He'd fought so hard for it that he'd nearly lost himself, lost all the hard work he'd put into his sportsmanship in the past two months.
It wasn't easy, but he knew there was a clear difference between him and Sugawara.
Sugawara was trustworthy and kind. He was a gentle person who everyone liked.
And him?
Well…
He was just Tobio Kageyama, the King of the Court.