Haikyuu!
Higher
Chapter 19: Endings

The rallies were long.

The plays were brutal.

Everyone was exhausted.

There were so many misplays.

It was like neither team wanted to give anything up.

The points kept racking up for both sides, one after the other.

No one wanted to let the ball fall onto the court, unprepared to give up the victory that was so close to being within their grasp.

"One more," were the only words ringing within their minds.

No one was ready to fully give up and accept defeat. Neither side wanted to just let the other team have a single point more.

I'm not going to lose.

No one was ready to give up.

Sure, it may have been match point, and everyone's backs were against the wall, with each point meaning more and more, bringing them closer and closer to victory. But a single point difference didn't mean a defeat. It just made the ability to come back even harder.

One more point…!

Even Aika, who always played the part of being cool and level-headed in comparison to her perky best friend, was even more tense than the Karasuno squad had ever seen her before. Her shoulders were tense as she held onto her notebook so tightly that she thought she might rip it.

Even Hinata, who was always ready and willing to take on any challenge that was thrown his way, was serious beyond belief. His eyes were focused and dark, locked onto the target in front of him, which, in this game, was the ball.

Even Kageyama, who rarely ever let his emotions show on his face, was openly allowing himself to feel the energy of the court, celebrating every point won and mourning every point lost, taking in how the rest of his team around him felt.

Just one more…

It kept going into ties, into deuces.

Whoever pulled ahead by two points in a row would be the one who would take the match.

I have to win… was in the minds of every single person on the court.

We're going to go face Shiratorizawa, and we're going to go to the finals!

We're going to take this game, and prove that we can fly again!

We're going to stay on the court!

Everyone's goals were so different, but the one thing that they shared was the same thing: winning. Victory was the end goal for both teams. At this point, the game seemed like it would never end.

It was like a damn pendulum.

But eventually, even pendulums have to stop moving.

The score was 31-31.

It was another deuce.

Everyone on both sides was absolutely exhausted. It was clear that they were feeling the pressure, that they knew that the game was about to end. Yet still, despite the fact that they were all drenched in sweat and barely able to keep up the attack, the fire in their eyes still hadn't died. Everyone was still going to fight for every last point.

There had been an entire rotation since Oikawa's serve, and now, he was serving again. He walked towards the line, ball in hand, and everyone on Karasuno's side could feel the way his aura changed, the way his fire seemed to freeze over, becoming colder and colder.

Kageyama could feel that coldness seeping through his skin, the coldness that shook him when he first saw Oikawa play, all the way back when he was a kid.

That coldness meant that he was aiming to execute his opponents.

Serve. Receive. Chance ball for Aoba Josai.

Toss. Two spikers jump for the ball; Kunimi and Kindaichi.

Spike. Receive. Chance ball for Aoba Josai again.

Toss. Feint. Point for Aoba Josai.

32-31.

Kageyama didn't understand. Kunimi had always been the least serious person on Kitagawa Daiichi. He'd always been the one to argue against all of his plays. He'd always seemed bored and uninterested, like he'd rather be anywhere else but on the court. He'd always been lazy, and Kageyama had always scolded him for not trying harder to keep the ball in play.

But for Oikawa, for Aoba Josai… Kunimi was trying so hard. He was running after the ball, chasing it to keep it from going out. He was spiking and jumping and doing attacks that had a low percentage of actually working, and it didn't make sense how, in just two months, someone could change so drastically. Kageyama wasn't even sure if he'd ever really known Kunimi.

"Hey, you look like you're freaking out! So uncool!" Hinata teased him, even as Kageyama was throwing half-hearted punches at the orange-head. "I mean, of course he's better than you! He is the Great King, right?!"

"Sorry, Kageyama." Sawamura grinned at him, as if being at match point didn't faze him. "I'll get the ball back to you on the next one. Then all you have to do is do what you think will work best."

"Kageyama! No hesitation!" Sugawara screamed at him from the sidelines. "We're all a part of your team! And your team…"

Kageyama looked over all the faces he'd come to know over the past two months, realizing that he'd just come to know them today, of all days. He'd known them as teammates, yes, but for the first time, he didn't feel like he was completely alone on the court. He didn't feel like they were playing alongside him just because they had to, but because they wanted him there. Maybe he could trust Karasuno to stand by him during this time, when he couldn't deal with something like this by himself.

For once, he felt as if Karasuno weren't just teammates.

"… our team is all strong."

He looked over to Aika, who nodded at him. "Do your best out there. I believe in you," she said, a small smile playing on her lips. She wasn't loud, like the rest of them. But she was loud enough for him to hear, and he nodded right back at her.

"I will," he vowed.

It was still Oikawa's serve.

Even though the rally was long, it was tiring and hard, everyone was still giving their best. No one wanted to let the ball touch the floor. Everyone was putting in a hundred – no, two hundred percent. It was so crucial that no one made any wrong moves.

Kageyama knew this, and he knew that there was one play that had never failed him or Karasuno before.

Knowing what he'd learned from just the past few months of playing alongside that stupidly perky sunshine ball that was his partner on the court, Shoyo Hinata, he could only have faith.

So, he tossed.

The toss came perfectly. Hinata knew that the only thing he could do was spike.

So, he spiked.

And the ball fell to the court.

It didn't put up any fight, and Karasuno could only look on in horror as their game ended with such overwhelming silence that it was practically louder than anything else could have been.

Even as the crowd cheered, celebrating Aoba Josai's victory, no one moved.

Aika was the first to move, stumbling a little as she walked over to Shoyo. He and Kageyama had collapsed into trembling messes, simply shells of the boys who'd put up so much fight only moments prior. They were staring at the court, horror written all over their now pale faces, like it was all they could see in that moment.

It probably was.

She approached her best friend and fell to her knees beside him. "Shoyo." He slowly looked up to her, and she flinched, seeing his eyes so lifeless. "Shoyo, let's go line up. I'll go with you." He didn't respond, and Aika felt her heart sink in her chest. "Shoyo…"

"I… Aika, I…" he managed, his voice shaking as his eyes stared blankly at her.

Cutting him off, she grasped his shoulder tightly. She could feel him trembling beneath his jersey, and she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She fought them back, knowing that she was in no position to cry. After all, she wasn't the one who had fought so hard, only to lose in such a small way.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Shoyo. I promise. You did your best."

Under her gaze, he hesitated, looking down at the floor of the court. "But my best wasn't good enough," he muttered, looking like he hated himself.

"Your best got us this far," she snapped in reply. "Your best is all we could have asked of you. Now, get up and go line up with your team. Please."

He did so, but he stumbled the entire way. Crossing the court was a journey for him, like he'd just come down from climbing a mountain. He shook the entire time, looking as if he'd fall at any moment if even the slightest breeze pushed him.

How he managed to walk on such boneless legs, she'd never know.

Kageyama managed not to cry as Karasuno left the gym.

He hadn't cried since he'd been benched back in middle school. Even though it wasn't that long ago, it seemed like it'd been several lifetimes before the one he was living. Everything was so different. It'd been different since he joined Karasuno.

He had people he could trust. He had people who would call him out on things, but would help him evolve. He had someone who could actually spike his insane tosses. He had people who didn't try to bullshit him. He had a team that he actually liked and respected, and who actually liked and respected him for once in his life.

But the one thing that hadn't changed was that he was still living in Oikawa's shadow.

That was the one thing he hadn't been able to emerge from under. He'd done a lot to differentiate himself, but there were still things he had yet to learn.

And he knew it.

He could feel his shoulders shaking as he exited the gym, Hinata at his side. He hated feeling like the world was crushing him, like he'd never be anything more than he'd been in the past. He was more than ever now, but even that hadn't been enough.

"Kageyama." He stopped where he was walking, seeing Aika standing next to him. She paused moving in front of him, and reached up with both hands, one on either side of his neck. Something cold hit the back of his neck, and he realized that she'd put a towel around him. She pulled away, offering him a water bottle with a small smile. "You did a great job out there."

Shaking even more, he managed to spit out, "But we didn't win."

"So?" She shrugged, as if she'd already recovered from their loss. "Aoba Josai is a good opponent. We have another chance in September. If we take what we've learned from today and use it to improve, we can only go up from here, right?" With a wink, she turned away, darting over to where Sugawara was waiting for her, a large bag in his hands.

He wanted to understand that she was right. He knew that she definitely was, but he didn't want to accept it. He didn't like that there wasn't much of a choice but to wait for September to see if they've improved, only to roll the dice against Aoba Josai again. It wasn't even a guaranteed victory. It was only a big, fat "maybe" on a game that was more important to Kageyama than any game before had been. The first roll had been against them, and who was to say that the second would be any damn different? There was no way to be sure.

Feeling himself trembling, he followed his team towards the sinks. He just wanted to redo the entire game again, and see if he could change the outcome.

Maybe if they hadn't figured out that he'd use his quick with Hinata. Maybe Karasuno would have won.

As he dunked his head beneath the cold water, he could only think about the things he could have done differently during each set. There were so many times he'd done stupid things or he'd misplayed badly, all of which had cost Karasuno points. There were even some that hadn't cost points, but had been hard to recover from. He felt like kicking himself for each one.

"The meeting's gonna start without us," he heard Hinata warn him in a quivering voice.

Kageyama realized that if he felt like shit, Hinata must have felt worse. After all, Hinata had been the one to spike. He turned off the water slowly, pulling himself back up straight.

"Sorry." He turned to face his smaller companion, his expression blank as the play ran through his head again, probably for the thousandth time. "They had me read during that last one."

He walked away, only to be pulled back by two small, sweaty hands. "Why are you apologizing?!" Hinata demanded as he tossed Kageyama onto the ground. He glared down at the setter with fire-filled eyes, who looked up in shock at the decoy's outburst. "Why are you making it sound like tossing to me was some sort of mistake?!"

Kageyama had no answer for that.

He didn't want to answer for that.

Because that toss had been a mistake. It'd been a big mistake on Kageyama's part, and it'd cost Karasuno the entire game, the game they'd worked so hard to keep. It'd been his Hail Mary, the one that he thought would save the game and maybe even turn the tide. But it didn't, and that was why it was a mistake. That toss had been nothing but a mistake. But he didn't want to tell Hinata that, since he knew that his partner was already blaming himself for the loss. He didn't want to weigh anymore disappointment on the small middle blocker.

"The meeting's going to start without you two." The two looked up to see Takeda smiling down at them, a kind look on his face. "You both did brilliantly today. Even though we lost, wasn't that match worth playing? I think everyone learned a lot."

Neither of the two first-years answered.

"Do you think that losing is only proof of being weak?" Takeda's face was suddenly serious as he stared at the two boys who were lying on the ground, beaten down by their horrible defeat and the one toss that had lost them the game. "Losing is hard for everyone on Karasuno. Everyone is down now, but if you stay down over a challenge failed, that is proof of weakness."

Kageyama felt a pang in his heart.

Takeda was right. He couldn't let one loss keep him on the ground forever. He had to get up and prove that he was stronger than this.

Pushing himself up with his arms, he stood up straight. Hinata managed to do the same right next to him, even though both of them had wanted to remain on the ground. Both of them looked at Takeda, who only smiled right at them, piercing them with his seemingly endless optimism.

"Come on, now. Let's have the meeting, then go see Aoba Josai's game. Then, we'll have lunch."

Aoba Josai won their quarterfinal match.

There was really no surprise there.

"I brought lunch for you boys!" Aika exclaimed, beaming up at the rest of the team as she forced them to stop at the front of the building. She knelt, opening the giant bag she took from Sugawara. "Shoot, I swore that I'd labelled them… Oh, I did!"

Each Karasuno player and staff member had their own personalized lunch. Everyone had a cute seaweed shape on top of the rice, which hid the curry.

Kageyama nearly wanted to cry at his. It was a neatly cut shape of a baby bird spreading its wings. The bird was cartoonish, but it was cute all the same. He looked around, seeing Azumane holding up a puppy shape, while Nishinoya had a thundercloud. Yamaguchi had a bunny, Sugawara's was a flower, Hinata's was a sun, and Tsukishima had a moon.

There was so much love and care put into these lunches that it was a wonder that Aika made them.

"You made these?" Hinata sounded skeptical.

Aika pursed her lips. "If you don't want it, I'll take it back," she pouted.

Immediately, Hinata managed to perk a bit. "No, no, I want it!"

"Good! Now, there's a nice picnic table out back. Let's eat there."

The team followed her silently, all of them grasping their bento boxes tightly, holding back their tears. As they all took their seats, the simply stared at the food. They should've felt hungry, but no one made any move to eat.

"Eating would be good for you about now," Ukai commented. "You strained yourselves today. So eat, and get stronger."

He looked to Aika, who managed the peppiest smile they'd ever seen on her. "Please tell me how it is! I tried really hard, and I hope that no one has an aversion to chicken." She laughed weakly, and for a second, Karasuno was sure that she'd cry.

But when she didn't, they began to eat.

They stuffed their faces as they silently mourned their Interhigh run, tears streaming down everyone's faces.

No one's faces, except for Ukai, Takeda, Shimizu, and Aika's, were dry. Of those four, only three were positive, smiling over at the boys as they cried.

"Shin… I'm home…" Aika called, stepping out of her shoes and dropping the empty bag in the foyer.

Emerging from the kitchen, her older brother greeted her with a small, sad smile. "Welcome home. I saw the news." He paused, seeing her face, which was now a blank slate as she pulled her Karasuno jacket off. "How are you doing?"

Aika's only response was to burst into tears, burying her face in the black fabric.