Haikyu!
Higher
Chatper 20: Strength

A ringtone broke through the sounds of a video game. Despite it just being a video game song, Kenma reached out lazily and grabbed it, glancing at the screen.

Call from: Aika

There was a beep as he picked up. "Aika?" he asked groggily, closing his handheld to focus all his attention on the phone call at hand. "It's almost eleven at night. Is everything going okay for you?"

"K-Ken…"

Her voice was different than usual. It was shaky, filled with tension and sadness. She sounded choked, like she'd just been crying. Actually, she sounded like she was still crying, but she was trying to hide it from him. He knew how she sounded when she was sad.

Sitting up straight, Kenma immediately woke himself up. He focused every bit of his energy on the girl on the other side of the line, the one who needed his attention most.

"Aika, what's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you?" He shot question after question at her, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong.

"Ken, I… we lost."

Kenma's heart sunk into his stomach as he heard her sniffle. "You played Aoba Josai today, right?" he asked, his voice as soft as he could make it. "They're a strong team. I heard they're probably the second best in Miyagi."

She sniffled again, and Kenma felt his chest begin to hurt. "We made it so close. We took a set off them, and we were at deuce for nearly seven points," she admitted.

"That must be awful… I don't know what else to tell you," he confessed. "Do you want me to stay on the phone and listen to you? Or do you want me to talk to you until you go to sleep?"

For a minute, Aika didn't reply. There was just soft crying in the background and lots of blankets rustling. He could hear her sniff and rub at her face, knowing just how she was when she cried. He waited patiently for her to gather herself, even if it took a while.

That was the only way that Kenma knew how to comfort her, the way he knew best from years of being the one who comforted her whenever she found herself crying for whatever reason. She wasn't much of a crier, but Kenma could say with some confidence that he was one of a small handful of people who'd ever seen her truly break down.

"Can you talk to me?"

Kenma hummed, thinking of a topic.

She always asked for something like this whenever she was trying to sleep after something bad happened to her. Because she was the youngest and the only girl of their crazy group, the boys always gave her whatever she asked for. They loved her so much that they would do whatever she asked if it would make her smile again.

It was usually Kuroo or Shin who did it, though. Whenever she asked Kenma to talk her to sleep, he'd usually speak about his newest video game, and she'd be out within five minutes.

"Ken? Are you there?" he could hear her voice asking.

He nodded, quickly remembering that she couldn't see him. "I am." He paused for a moment. "Hey… do you remember that time we were talking about the dreams we had for the future? I… I think it was for some assignment you had…"

She giggled, a sound that made Kenma want to smile. "Yeah. I remember I forced you guys to do it with me. Shin didn't enjoy it too much, did he?" she joked.

"No, he didn't," Kenma agreed. "But I think he got angry at me when I wrote what I wrote. I just remember him yelling at me for no complete reason."

Once again, she laughed a little bit, her laughter interrupted by a small hiccup. "Didn't you write that you wanted to be my husband?"

"I did."

Both of them fell silent afterwards, not knowing what exactly they should say. There was some rustling of blankets again, and a squeak from Aya, a stuffed rabbit with a squeaker in its stomach. It was something Shin and Kuroo had gotten for her for her sixth birthday. She'd kept it ever since, but Kenma had been sure it'd been destroyed by now.

"You still have Aya?"

She hummed, and another squeak came over the line. She laughed afterwards, her laugher once again causing a jolt in Kenma's chest. "I would never give up Aya for anything. I love her too much," she admitted while squeezing Aya's squeaker a few more times.

Kenma couldn't help the small chuckle that came out of his lips. "Is it 'cause Kuroo got it for you?" She'd always looked up to him, even more than her own brother.

Aika didn't reply at all. She then sighed. "S-so… speaking of Kuroo… how did Tetsu find out about my… my leg?" she asked quietly.

For a minute, Kenma froze. "He found out? I… I don't know. I know that you didn't want him to know at all." He thought for a minute. "I'll ask him tomorrow. Did he… say something to you?" His voice quivered, knowing that Kuroo was the type to try to fix it himself.

"He… he's has a way to let me play volleyball again. But, Ken, I don't know if that's what I want anymore," she admitted, her tone so soft that he could barely hear her.

Kenma paused, thinking back to the time, so many years ago, when they'd all written down their dreams. It'd been so long ago, he'd forgotten how old he'd been, but he remembered that it had been after they'd gotten into volleyball. It'd been after Kuroo fell in love with the sport, pulling both Aika and Kenma with him. It'd been after Aika found her talents in and began honing them in an after school club.

Since it had been after she'd found something she loved more than she'd loved anything else before, it only made sense that her dream had been connected to the sport she loved so much.

I want to be the greatest setter in the world.

Originally, it'd only read "in Japan," but she'd changed it at the last moment. Kuroo had always told her that she had to dream big, otherwise she'd only get as far as that one, small dream and be satisfied. He wanted her to strive for the best.

So, she did.

"You love being a setter, don't you?" There was no reply from Aika. "You love playing volleyball. But… you also love Karasuno a lot, right? And you don't want to leave them?"

She sniffled again, weaker than ever. "If I just went off selfishly to pursue something that might not even work out, I don't know how I'd face them – how I'd face Shoyo. Ken, when I got injured, I pushed all my dreams off on him. I don't know what else I can do but be there for him."

Kenma sighed, knowing that she would stubbornly argue for whatever side he was against. He wasn't really inclined to tell her what to do, since she would do whatever she wanted anyways. She was always far too headstrong to even dream of listening to anyone else.

"Then you do what you think is going to be best. Even though you love Karasuno and you love volleyball, you should choose which one means more to you. And no matter what you choose, I'm sure the other won't hold it against you."

For a brief second, he swore she was about to burst into tears again. He could hear her whimpers as she tried to contain herself.

"Okay. Thanks, Ken."

It was the next day, the day after that loss to Aoba Josai.

Everyone was struggling through their own minds, trying to cope with the loss in a different way. Everyone was trying to focus on class, but no one could, with only that picture of the ball falling to the court and landing on Karasuno's side without a sound.

There was only Oikawa and Aoba Josai standing above them, like they were taunting Karasuno. After all, Aoba Josai had gotten to the semi finals, and then to the finals. They were fighting past Shiratorizawa, the best team in Miyagi.

While Karasuno's wings were clipped again, and they fell sadly into the top sixteen of the prefecture.

They weren't even given a chance to try to fly again.

Aika looked around for her two classmates and teammates, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, both of whom were probably attempting to cope with losing the day before. She'd seen how both of them were so convinced they could come back, how both of them were so invested in taking the game against Aoba Josai and making it to the next round.

Tsukishima spent most of his time staring out the window, only moving when he had to jot down notes in his neat-looking notebook. Yamaguchi seemed stable, paying close attention to everything that happened, but she could see that he wasn't exactly handling the loss well.

It was in his eyes.

They were burning with so much anger for his own plays, the ones he'd failed to make when it mattered most. They were filled to the brim with guilt for the serve he'd missed, the one that everyone was relying on him for, but had missed and had ended up giving another point to Aoba Josai.

The lunch bell rang, and while Tsukishima immediately got up, his chair sliding loudly across the floor of the classroom, Yamaguchi didn't move. He usually went with Tsukishima every day, tagging along with his taller friend like he always did. But he didn't even lift his head from where he was staring, having pulled his bag into his lap when the bell rang.

Aika pulled out her own lunch, the one Shin had made her, filled with all her favorite foods.

"You need something to cheer you up. I think I made enough for a small army, so if anyone wants some, share, okay?"

She turned her eyes to Yamaguchi, watching as he slowly unzipped his backpack. Staring back at him as a black jacket, with the words "Karasuno High School Volleyball Club" written in neat, white characters, staring right back at him.

Her heart began to hurt a little for him.

She was so sure that he'd come back from his nerves, that they'd get another chance to put him in and let him shine. She was so sure that he'd be able to recover his composure and happily take another chance to be put in the game.

Watching as his face contorted, she realized that Yamaguchi wasn't like the rest of the team.

The rest of the boys could easily be reminded of their poor plays, but would always work to improve them. They would be angry at themselves in the moment, but they'd always realize that they'd get another shot to make things right.

That didn't seem to be the case with Yamaguchi.

He was always trying to make sure that everyone else was doing well, and sometimes, he forgot that he was part of Karasuno, too. Although, that wasn't really surprising, considering that he'd never even played a practice match before being tossed into the deep end of a losing game against Aoba Josai. The team hadn't really treated Yamaguchi as one of them, now that she thought about it.

He'd always just been Tsukishima's friend, the one who says "sorry" way too much and the one who laughs at all his taller friend's bad jokes.

But he wasn't just "Tsukishima's friend." He was Karasuno's freckled pinch server, Tadashi Yamaguchi.

Aika looked down at her heavier-than-usual lunch. Her favorite foods were all warm and comforting. They were foods that everyone liked, even people who didn't like many foods. They were things like fried rice and warm pork cutlets.

She stood as well, watching as Yamaguchi put on his best smile when Tsukishima returned. Even though Tsukishima was acting like he normally did, there was something less vicious about the way he told Yamaguchi to shut up. As the two grabbed chairs at Tsukishima's desk, Aika made a quick decision.

Walking over to the two, she sat down, right next to them. She put her giant lunch in the center of the desk, and unwrapped it, ignoring their questioning stares.

"What's with the big lunch? Is it all for you?" Tsukishima asked teasingly, grinning at her.

She shook her head. "No. My brother made a lot of food today, so he said I should share it with friends." She looked between the two of them, seeing them both freezing in shock at the word "friends." Pursing her lips, she demanded, "What? You thought I was just your assistant coach? Please. We're in the same class, right? And we're on the same team. I thought that was enough to make us friends."

Both boys looked towards the lunch instead, the one she was happily eating from. There was a lot of food there, and she was offering them what she had. But to be called her friends so suddenly, when she barely let anyone else in, was jarring.

Yamaguchi was the first to reach out, using his chopsticks to grab some of the pork. He slowly ate it, Tsukishima watching with a quirked eyebrow.

"It's good," he said finally, smiling at Aika.

She seemed happy enough with that.

Hinata watched as the rest of the Karasuno team slowly filed in, one after the other, looking pleasantly surprised at the mess that he and Kageyama had made.

First was Shimizu, who berated them for the noise levels. Quickly following her were the second years, from Nishinoya to Narita, two of whom practically threw themselves at Shimizu. Following them were Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, the latter of whom bounded in happily, a big smile on his face, while the former entered coolly, as per usual.

Then Aika showed up after them, a small, knowing smile on her face. She quickly took a spot next to Shimizu, offering her notes on the previous day's game, which the manager took with a quiet thanks.

Finally, there were the third years, all dressed in their uniforms, ready for practice. That alone was enough to announce that they were staying, that they were going with the first years to the spring tournament, that they were staying on Karasuno.

Practice was the same as ever, filled with boundless energy from all sides.

But one thing was off to Hinata.

Aika was sitting on the side, taking notes again, but ever so often, he'd see her expression fall, and see her staring at them like she didn't know what to do.

He knew that there was something wrong with her, but he didn't want to talk to her in front of everyone. After all, she was never one to share her problems unless she felt as if she couldn't figure them out on her own.

Even to Hinata, who'd known her since middle school, there were still parts of her that were a mystery.

And that expression she had was no exception.

With all the excitement, all the practice they put in the day after their loss, there was also a sense of solemn understanding. That they had lost, and that they had to work harder than ever to keep up and earn their place at the Spring Tournament.

Yet to Aika, it seemed like there was sadness hanging over her, even as she watched her team grow yet again.

Chiyuki's Notes:

After chatper 21, Higher will be going on a short hiatus until writing on Season 2 is done. If you'd like to follow what I'm up to (and weigh in on what I'm going to do next), please follow me on Twitter ( chiyuki_kaneko) and on tumblr (xchiyuki).

Thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter of Higher's first season.