"This is a joke, right?" Fohl asked.
"Does this look like the face of someone who's joking?" I asked, pointing to my face.
"I can't allow this!" Atla said. "If Naofumi becomes Fohl's father, that makes me like his adopted daughter! People will think our relationship is weird later on when we get married!"
"People already would think that," I said to Atla, snapping.
"Yeah, little missy, I know Naofumi here is pretty cool, but you should be looking for someone more in your age range," Erhard said. Atla pouted but did not say anything else, at least in the moment.
"Is there literally nothing else we can do?" Fohl asked.
"Well, there are other ways of becoming what's called an 'emancipated minor'- or someone who can make their decisions before eighteen," Erhard said. "For example, you could get married- any girl who you're close to?"
"No."
"Any guy?"
"No!"
"Well, I actually don't think that would work anyway with Japan's current family law code," Erhard said. "Other than that is to join the military, though I don't think you'd want to go that far, and they likely wouldn't take you regardless."
Fohl sighed.
"Wait!" Atla said. "In that case, Mr. Naofumi can just marry me!"
"Well, that would work..." ERhard said, trailing off.
"Don't encourage her!" I said.
"But no, wait, at your age you'd need your guardian's permission to marry, and I doubt your uncle would agree to that," Erhard said.
"Again, stop putting that on the table as an option!" I said.
"Fine, fine," Fohl said. "If it'll save Atla, I'll do it." He then glared at me. "But I'm not calling you 'dad', okay?"
"Wouldn't expect you to," I said. "Though, if you're on board with this, I should make a few phone calls too. Need to let my parents know-" I then paused. "-right, I should probably tell Raphtalia too."
"Who's Raphtalia?" Erhard asked.
"A slut!" Atla yelled out loudly.
"She's the girl I'm dating," I corrected, glaring at Atla.
"Oh- so you come into my shop and tell me all of this nonsense with the inheritance and all, but don't mention that you have a new lady?" Erhard asked. 'Why is that not the first thing that came to your mind?"
"Since when did you become like a gossiping aunty?" I asked him.
I picked up my phone and dialed my father's number.
"Hey-o!" came a familiar voice, though not the one that I had been expecting.
"Shindo?"
"What up bro?"
"I wanted to talk to Dad."
"He's out right now. What's up?"
"In that case call Mom."
"Also out. Again, what's up?"
"Oh- wanted to let you know I'm adopting a child. Just let'em know once they get back home."
"Eh!? Wait bro you can't just drop something like that on me and then-"
I hung up.
Next, I called Raphtalia, but I didn't get a response.
Probably still at high school.
"Eh, let's go ahead with things then," I said.
I felt that I should rope in Raphtalia given our relationship, but the thing was that I couldn't see it really bothering her since this was in name only.
Not like I was asking her to be a stepmother or anything.
I texted her a short summary though on what was going on.
"Aight, so when do we start with this?" Fohl asked.
"If you're ready, you just need a public notary," Erhard said, pointing to himself. "Such as myself."
I smiled. "At least something's gone right."
"I'm still charging you extra for notarizing this though."
"Hey- no discount for friends?"
"Again, kid, you say the funniest things sometimes," Erhard said. "Now, let me just print out the forms..."
"Take a good look at these things, Fohl," I told him. "You don't want to end up signing something and regretting it."
Atla pouted. "I don't want Naofumi to be my father!... I'm okay with calling him 'Daddy' though..."
"Atla!" Fohl yelled out.
"Atla, you really shouldn't know what that means at your age," I said as Erhard did his best to keep himself from bursting into laughter, rather than helping defuse the situation in any kind of way.
I glared at him.
"What kid? This is the price of fame and fortune I guess," Erhard said.
"I don't know about the fortune part, but the 'fame' was very short-lasting," I said.
Again, I thought only people with millions of viewers or actually famous people like television stars had these kinds of stalker problems. Why me?
"Also, little missy," Erhard said to Atla. "This is technically only for Fohl- you can renounce it once you're done."
"Wait!" Atla said. "If Mr. Naofumi becomes my guardian, does that mean that he can approve of my marriage to him?"
"That sounds not only massively creepy but also a blatant conflict of interest," I said.
"Yeah, I doubt that would be legal," Erhard said.
"I know!" Atla said. "Let's all move to a prefecture with a lower age of consent for marriage! Then it will work, right? Fohl, give me your phone, I need to look up 'which location of Japan has the lowest age of consent' on it."
"Fohl, don't let her do that, or you'll end up getting arrested," I advised him.
Basically that was all the encouragement that Fohl needed before scribbling his name on the form, after which I did so as well, and so did Erhard. He had invited two of his friends to act as witnesses to the whole thing, and it was recorded on video for as extra layer of evidence.
And so, by the end of the day, I had adopted a child.
Melty still hadn't gotten back to me yet in any way or form. I didn't know what was going on with her, and by now, even I had to admit that I was getting genuinely worried.
Do you know who did get back to me though?
Raphtalia.
"How did you take that kind of a big step?!" she asked, sounding rather concerned. "You didn't even involve you parents in it?"