Haikyu!
Higher
Chapter 32: Crush

She hadn't smiled since she had returned from the nurse's office. She seemed almost lifeless as Tsukishima pushed her wheelchair into the gym. Red was rimming her eyes, her face stained with tear tracks, despite how much it looked like she tried to hide them from the rest of the court.

At first, Kageyama wanted to rush forwards, demanding what the beanpole had done to her to hurt her feelings so badly. He wanted to ignore the game that was about to start, even if it meant losing.

But the other beanpole – the one with silver hair from Nekoma – beat him to it.

"Ai-chi!" he shouted, bounding forwards. His loud voice had garnered the attention of the rest of the gym, who were all staring at the gym doors, where Lev had knelt down in front of Aika's wheelchair, his legs just long enough so he could look her in the eye. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

She just shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. From where he was standing, Kageyama could make out evidence of tears forming at the corners of her eyes, threatening to roll down her face.

His own eyes widened and he nearly gasped. Although he'd seen Aika upset before, seen her in the aftermath of an emotional moment for her, he'd never seen her cry. She'd always pulled herself away from people when she cried. She'd always come back when she had composed herself, her face showing her sadness, but also showing that she was in control of herself.

Tsukishima dropped his hands from her wheelchair, gently saying something to her in a voice so low that only she could hear it. She blinked in confusion, but nodded. For some reason, he looked satisfied as he walked back towards the court.

"Tsukishima," Kageyama heard himself calling out. The beanpole turned to him, a bored look on his face. "Did something happen to her?"

Pursing his lips, Tsukishima's eyes narrowed. Looking down at the setter, whose eyes were glistening with worry, he snapped, "Go ask her yourself, idiot."

He wanted to.

But for some reason, Kageyama couldn't move.

He was, instead, frozen in place as tears began to fall from Aika's eyes. She didn't sob or anything. All she did was reach out for Lev, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her face into his shoulder.

Feeling his own chest struck with pain, Kageyama frowned. He lifted a hand, pressing it against his racing heart, and turned away. He didn't need to see Aika in the arms of some other guy, wrapped up as she cried as quietly as she could.

"She never does this," he heard Hinata mutter to Yamaguchi, who was worriedly watching. The usually sunny boy was staring at his friend, shocked. "She doesn't cry in front of people. She hates it when people see her. Something… something really bad must have happened to her." Kageyama could see Hinata's hands curled into fists at the mere prospect of something, anything, hurting Aika so badly that she began to cry in front of everyone.

Kageyama, knowing that she wouldn't want anyone else seeing, kept his back turned.

But looking away from her didn't stop his heart from hurting.

Tsukishima watched as emotions clashed on the King's face. There was anger and jealousy, but also worry and sadness. All of those feelings were twisting on his face, reflecting in the way he glared at the scene, but also in the sad way his lips turned downwards.

It wasn't that Tsukishima cared, necessarily. It was just that he didn't like the way the usually composed girl was so shaken by the way her crush had so swiftly crushed her confession before it even left her lips.

"We're in the same class, right? And we're on the same team. I thought that was enough to make us friends."

She'd openly called both Tsukishima and Yamaguchi her friends, only a few days before she'd been transferred out for her surgery. He'd never asked for her phone number or email, and he'd never asked Hinata or Kageyama how she'd been doing (although, he didn't have to).

But there was no one else around to see her face fall, to see the façade of strength begin to crack.

Tsukishima wasn't stupid. He was just tired of other people being too dumb to recognize their own feelings.

The girl had finally realized her own emotions and had wanted to do something about them. Sugawara didn't give her a chance, but the hurt in his eyes as he called Tsukishima over to push her wheelchair was evident. And now, the way the King watched her told him everything he needed to know.

Stupid… he groaned internally. If you like her, don't just stand there like a dumbass. Go comfort her.

"Just for now," she whispered against Lev's shoulder. "This doesn't mean anything."

Even as tears leaked through his shirt, Lev only laughed quietly. "I know it doesn't. I'm just glad I can help you." His arms wrapped around her as she continued to cry.

"Thank you…"

Shin sighed as he pulled his luggage from the back of Saeko's car. He slung his backpack over his shoulder as he pulled the handle up to roll the bag inside.

"You're sure about this?" she asked him, crossing her arms with a small frown. "From what you told me, it might be awkward if you stay…"

Shaking his head, he smiled back at his friend and superior. "I haven't been back in eight years. Of course it'd be awkward coming back like this. But… I have to stay. For Aika." He shifted, pulling his rolling bag with him.

"Even with that thing you told me about? With that one boy?" Saeko wondered, her frown growing deeper. Every part of her showed concern for the younger boy.

For a moment, Shin looked slightly uncomfortable. "Yeah… I tried to talk to him about that. It didn't go that well." He smiled sheepishly, ruffling his hair. "As soon as I said something to him, he made some sort of excuse and… well, he ran." Sighing, he let his hand fall back to his side. "I don't know how to make him face me," he muttered.

Grinning, the older of the two punched his shoulder as gently as she could. He yelped, signifying that her "gentle" punch wasn't so gentle after all. As he rubbed his aching shoulder, he looked up to see her grinning widely.

"You just tell him straight! You don't need to mince words, do you?!" She looked up at her friend, her smile growing a bit softer as she did. "After all, he never heard what you said before you left, right? If you say it loudly enough, he'll have to listen!"

Shin simply stared at the boisterous woman, her words taking a few moments to really sink in. As they did, he could only smile right back. "Yeah… I think that'll work," he admitted, sheepishly running a hand through his hair.

Saeko's grin only grew, although her eyes seemed to soften.

Kageyama couldn't take his eyes off of Aika, who was sitting in her wheelchair, talking with Azumane and Nishinoya. She was smiling as she spoke, but that smile didn't quite meet her eyes. She seemed to wince whenever Sugawara emerged from the bus with Tanaka.

As Kageyama gathered some of the bags filled with gear to bring on the bus, a shadow moved to loom over him. He turned his head to see the silver-haired Nekoma player – his name was Lev Haiba, if he remembered correctly – smiling down at him.

"You're Tobio Kageyama, right?" he asked lightly.

Nodding, he slung his bag over his shoulder, turning his entire body around to face the taller boy. "What about it?" he asked casually, purposefully looking at the other boy with something akin to disdain.

Laughing a little, Lev sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Oh, I just wanted to say hello before you left. I wanted to see the person that Ai-chi talks about all the time." Kageyama felt himself flushing at the other boy's words. "Yeah, she's constantly using you and Hinata as examples, like, 'Kageyama would spike that cleaner than you, and he's a setter!' or 'Even Shoyo wouldn't fumble a receive that badly!'" He laughed once more, his cat like eyes scrunched up. "You can tell how much she admires you two."

Kageyama chanced a look over to Aika, who was quietly talking with Yachi, as he fought his blush.

Lev's jade green eyes, the ones that looked almost as cat-like as Kenma's, watched the colors and emotions swirl on Kageyama's face. He couldn't help the almost sad smile that came over his face as he stood up straight, standing at his fullest height.

"Hey." As Kageyama turned to face him, the setter couldn't help the surprise at seeing how serious Lev looked. "You like Ai-chi, too, right?"

The only response Kageyama could form was to sputter incoherently as his mind desperately fished for the words he needed to respond. There was nothing he could say. He didn't want to deny it and lie about his feelings, but he also felt that there was absolutely no reason for him to have to tell someone on a rival team. Especially not Lev.

"She's a great teacher in volleyball, but she's kind of dense when it comes to everything else." Lev ignored the sputtering Kageyama in front of him and kept speaking, his eyes twinkling with affection for the girl he spoke of. "Especially her own feelings. That's why I keep asking her out. I knew there was no other way than to tell her directly." Lev only laughed a bit more at this. "She turned me down every time. At first, I thought it was because she was playing hard-to-get. But when you guys came, I realized that she was turning me down because she actually had feelings for someone else."

"What?" Kageyama couldn't help but blurt this as he stared, wide-eyed, at Aika, who was now talking lowly with Tsukishima. "She… she does?"

A gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. He looked up to see Lev smiling back down at him, all traces of seriousness gone from his face. "Anyone can tell you like her. Except maybe Ai-chi. You should tell her, you know. Before someone else snatches her away from you," he advised with a knowing grin.

Turning back to stare at the girl with wine-red hair, Kageyama's gaze softened.

"Yachi."

The petite blonde whirled around, shocked, as Aika wheeled up to her. "Y-yes?!" she squeaked loudly, her voice coming out much more nervous than she should've felt.

Aika couldn't help the laugh that escaped her; Yachi was just adorable. "I didn't get much of a chance to talk to you this weekend. I think both of us were a bit busy babysitting the boys." She gestured to where Bokuto was laughing boisterously with Azumane, who looked slightly overwhelmed by his loud personality. "So, I thought I'd give you my phone number and email. It'll give both of us someone our age to talk to when the boys get to be a bit much to handle."

"A-ah! Yes! I'd like that very much!" A blush spread across Yachi's face as the two girls fished their phones out, Yachi fumbling with hers for a moment, and the two exchanged contact information. "I'll message you as often as I can with updates! I'm sure you want to know everything!"

Nodding, Aika smiled softly. "I'd be really grateful for updates over the next week. Thanks for looking out for Shoyo, and I'm glad you've decided to stick around," she admitted quietly.

Yachi's entire face turned a bright scarlet as she clutched her pink phone. She stared at Aika, coming to realize why Hinata spoke so highly of the girl. Even though Yachi hadn't had the chance to speak to Aika that much over the weekend, she could understand why everyone missed her so much.

"Oi." Both girls turned to see Tsukishima standing a ways away, hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I need to talk to you."

Aika looked back towards Yachi, who nodded. "Okay. Sorry, Yachi, but we'll continue talking soon. I'd like to make more female friends. It'd be nice to talk about something other than volleyball for once," she joked.

Unable to help herself, the red-faced girl let out a small giggle. "Although, I'm sure we'll end up talking about volleyball anyways."

"You're probably right," Aika agreed, her eyes filled with mirth as she did. "Let's talk soon, okay?" Yachi nodded happily, a grin on her pale face, and bounded away. Both Aika and Tsukishima watched her go, one in amusement, one without any visible emotion.

Aika's attention was quickly drawn back to Tsukishima when he shoved something in her face. She stared at his outstretched hand, his fingers wrapped around his phone, as he looked anywhere but at her. "Here," he grumbled.

Slowly, she took the phone from him. "What do you want me to do with this?" she asked quietly.

He gave her a look that clearly read are you an idiot? Rolling his eyes and mumbling something under his breath, he stared down at her. "You put your phone number and email in. What else would you do with a cell phone?"

"But why?"

Sighing, Tsukishima pursed his lips. "No one else here knows why you were crying earlier. I figured it'd be easier to talk to someone who knows rather than attempt to explain. Besides," he looked down at her, an almost warm gleam in his eyes, "I know that anyone else you told would take sides. I won't give you an opinion unless you ask for it. Just use me to talk at when you're feeling down."

Overwhelmed by a sort of affection for the usually stoic beanpole, Aika handed him back his phone with a weak smile. "You don't have to do this for me," she muttered as he took his phone.

"I want to." His reply was so quiet that she could barely hear it, but if she looked closely, she could see the light dusting of red covering his face. "You did a lot for us. This is the least that we – that I – can do for you."

Aika couldn't help how her smile widened as she reached up to grasp Tsukishima's hand. "You're a good friend, Tsukishima. Thank you for being there for me."

He didn't reply. He simply squeezed her hand, the pressure so light that it was barely there.

The ride back to Miyagi was, to say the least, awkward.

No one knew what to say. Everyone was absorbed in their own thoughts, their own problems that had arose during the two days of the miniature training camp. No one had left Tokyo without a weight on their shoulders and a worry on their minds. It was like the training camp had taken the things that Karasuno had wanted to face and forced them to the center of their worlds.

For some, these worries were greater than others.

The worries of volleyball, of not being good enough, could be easily mended with time and dedication, both of which the young crows had in spades. That was what they were going to the training camp for – to become better than they were.

But for some, two days together had irreversibly altered relationships forever.

As Kageyama stared out the window, watching Tokyo disappear, fading into an unfamiliar scene, he wondered who it was that Aika liked. She'd burst into tears only a few hours before the bus departed, shocking everyone in the gym. The boy she liked had hurt her like that.

"Anyone can tell you like her."

He didn't know what liking someone felt like.

Was it supposed to hurt to see her cry? Was it supposed to feel like a flutter when she smiled? Was it supposed to feel like a punch when he realized she liked someone else?

Because if that was what liking someone felt like, then, Kageyama decided, he definitely liked Aika.

That was the only explanation for the things he was feeling. It was like the adrenaline of a volleyball game, but somehow, it was different. It was a gentler sort of adrenaline, something that didn't disappear with the moment, but instead, settled into his body, taking permanent residence in his heart.

Kageyama's fingers tugged at the hem of his sweatshirt.

I guess this is what it feels like, he thought to himself. I like Aika. This is what it feels like to like her.

From his seat across the aisle, Sugawara, the only one on the bus who wasn't lost in his own thoughts, felt a pain searing his chest, like he was being burned.

He knew the look on Kageyama's face.

It was the same look he had whenever he was around Aika. It was that look that told everyone around him that he was in love with someone. It was the look that was gentle and giving, the one that was so rare to find. It was the look he'd always known that Kageyama was capable of letting show on his face.

Sugawara had always known. That was why he rejected Aika in the first place.

But dammit, it still hurt.