WARNINGS: Some slight NSFW here and there

CULLEN

She took my hand and I laced my fingers through hers, leading her back out to the main hall. Guiding her through and past Solas's rotunda, he and Ellana greeting us—her head in his lap as he read to her, his free fingers grazing her ear—we came out on the bridge connecting my office to the rest of the castle.
I felt her fingers tighten as thunder rumbled overhead. As rain began to drizzle once more, I unwound my surcoat and placed it upon her shoulders to offer her some protection. She looked at me, grateful, before looking away again as her face flushed. With a smile, I watched as she nuzzled into the fur.
I led her through my office, before we exited out the westernmost door. Crossing the walkway above the main gate, torches crackled in the night air—magic allowing them to burn through the rain. I felt Meira shiver as a cool breeze blew through us and bit back a chuckle as she burrowed further into the fur. Soldiers on patrol saluted as we passed, I offering a nod.
Keeping our entwined fingers hidden within the folds of my surcoat, I led her through the second guardhouse. The soldiers snapped to attention, I trying not to laugh as many of them were in states of half-dress, some sprawled upon their bunks asleep and the rest still drowsy. Exiting, we continued along the battlements until we reached the room off the Herald's Rest.
Pushing the door open, my eyes looking back to Meira as she let out an adorable sneeze, I nearly missed the gasp that came from within the room. Eyes flicking to the noise, I froze, my hand instinctively pulling Meira behind me as the other came up to shield my face. In truth, I wished I could burn my eyes out of my skull.

"Oh, Sweet Maker," I jerked my gaze to Meira, confused as my eyes were no doubt wide in shock and face scarlet as I felt the utter mortification paralyzing me.

"Cullen." Bull's voice greeted cheerily. Oh, sweet blood of Andraste. "How's it goin'?"

Another door opened, Josephine's voice coming through. "You said Bull was in here, Cassandra? I thought perhaps we…" Unintelligible sputtering came from her throat.

"I-I-I am so…sorry," I apologized, keeping my eyes trained on Meira. She was biting her lip to keep from laughing. It seemed she had surmised what lay within the room.

"I cannot move my legs," I heard Josephine mutter and, glancing at her instinctively as she spoke, it seemed she could not move her eyes either.

Meira was turning red, her body shaking as she held in her laughter. The way she was looking at me, it was taking every ounce of my self-control not to burst out laughing myself. The ribs I had bruised once before holding in laughter began to ache.

"Is something the matt—ah!" Cassandra's voice began, causing me to look in her direction, but her words ended with a yell of shock. The look on her face nearly made me choke and I had to look away.

"Oh, defransdim," Bull swore in Qunlat.

"Do you see this?" Cassandra demanded, her voice an angry growl as it was cast at me.

"No," I denied, vehemently, voice bordering on fractious. I heard Meira snort again.

"So, I take it—" Cassandra began.

Bull chuckled. "—Actually, she's the one who's been taking it."

I broke at the clever innuendo, snickering a laugh like a teenaged boy. Meira plugged her nose in an effort to stop the snorts escaping as tears beaded in her eyes. My stomach was hurting as it spasmed with contained laughs. Catching each others' eye, Meira doubled over, hiding herself in my coat, but I heard the squeals of levity slipping past her fingers. Asaala burst out laughing.

"I apologize for interrupting," Cassandra offered.

I dared a look back at the couple, having to clench my jaw to stop the rising laughter at the whole situation. Meira peeked out from under the fur of my coat at the same time. Bull was stark naked upon the bed, Asaala no less compromised.
We had obviously interrupted them in the middle of their arduous greeting of each other after so long apart. Why in the Maker's name they were in here instead of Bull's quarters, I had no idea. The urgency of it all, perhaps as they were prone to idling within the tavern.

Clearing my throat, I began to back away. "We'll leave you be," I dismissed us, my voice shaking with barely contained laughter.

"Yes," I heard Josephine say, "Do enjoy yourselves."

I nearly broke again at that, my whole body was shaking. Pulling us along the battlements as fast as my feet could carry me, I did my best to support Meira so she didn't trip. I doubled back to the stairs that would take us down to the upper bailey. We spilled upon the grass outside the tavern.

"Do enjoy yourselves," Meira chimed, a mimic of Josephine's voice.

At that, I was done. I let go of Meira's hand and doubled over in hysterics. I honestly had no idea what came over me, but as my arms hugged my stomach, boisterous laughter that I could not fight escaped me.

"But it was really the 'Cullen. How's it goin'?' that got me," Meira taunted through her laughter, "Like we just walked in on them in the middle of a polite conversation."
I burst out laughing again as I leaned an arm against the nearby wall. I'd thrown my hand over my face in an attempt to smother the laughter and cover the broad smile pulling my mouth.
"I mean seriously, what in the Void were they doing in there? Bull has room!" I howled with laughter. "And how do you go from that to just 'How's it going'? And he just kept laying there, on full display, naked as the day he was born!"

"M-Talitha," I wheezed out between laughs, "Stop."

"I bet that's not what Bull said," she sniggered, egging me on, "He seemed to have rather enjoyed Asaala taking it."

I started coughing, I was laughing so hard. "Please, stop," I begged.

She chuckled merrily. "So, my dignified Commander enjoys a dirty joke, does he?"

I coughed and cleared my throat, straightening as I tried to force my face into an impassive mask. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She narrowed her eyes at me, they sparkling with mischief, a knowing smile pulling her lovely mouth.
"Hmm." I rubbed the back of my neck. She put her hands on her hips, looking like she was being swallowed by my coat as she took on the air of a Chantry sister.
"So what have we learned today, Ser Cullen?" I raised a brow at her, confused. Her lips twitched. "Always lock the door. And always knock."

I barked another laugh as I closed the gap between us, catching her hand from off her hip. "Cruel female."

She snickered as I pulled her along. We walked across the upper bailey, the rain still a light drizzle, but beginning to ebb. I led her past the infirmary tucked behind the tavern and up the stairs to the westernmost battlements. We were met by salutes and greetings from those on patrol. As we approached the now completed tower, Meira looked at me curiously.

"Cullen?" She questioned.

"I'm sorry that I was unable to show this to you upon your return," I began, "It seems you could have used it this last week." We climbed the stairs up to the main door. "I know you and Solas trained here before you left, but I had…plans to renovate it for your personal use." I pressed the door open with my hand. "I hope you find it all to your liking."

I watched as her eyes widened, a smile spreading across her face. The tower had been outfitted to serve her and the mages' needs in their various endeavors. Bookcases dedicated to tomes on the arcane, even more specialized than what was held in the library. I had inquired of Helisma, Dorian and Vivienne what volumes they would recommend, filling the shelves with their respective lists. Supplies for experiments and concoctions were neatly organized on shelves upon the walls. Tables for work or study on the lowest floor.

"Ambassador Talitha," a young voice spoke, "Commander Cullen."

"Lysas," I greeted.

"How are you?" Meira questioned.

"Well, my lady," Lysas inclined his head, his blue eyes flicking over her, "I apologize for not directing you to the tower beforehand. Commander Cullen asked Connor and I to maintain it until he could…bring you here."

"I understand," she smiled, "Thank you."

"Ser Dorian took the liberty of cataloging the contents of the bookcases and requisitioning some further additions," Lysas informed her, "The catalog and list of requests are upon your desk."

"I will look them over, Lysas, thank you."

Lysas looked between us. "I will…go see if Enchanter Fiona needs assistance."

We watched the lad excuse himself from the tower before I hooked my fingers around hers to lead her up the stairs.

"I wanted you to have your own space for meetings and work," I explained, "But also a place where the mages could conduct their studies without interference from the others in Skyhold. The templars have a tower on the other—"

She pulled me down to brush a kiss to my cheek. "Thank you."

"You like it?" I questioned. "I know it's small and I'm not sure it has everything you will need—of course, do not hesitate to ask—but I wanted it to feel like h—"

I stopped myself. I didn't mean for the tower to be home. The only home she'd known in the last nearly twenty years was the Circle. As I looked at her, I knew I never wanted her to be subject to that again. I wanted home to be…more. I wanted this…us…to be home.

She looked at me, her eyes flicking between mine, unreadable emotions shining in them. "Home?"

I swallowed. "Not home," I shook my head, "but comfortable."

Her lips twitched. "Why not home?"

"Because…a tower isn't a home," I murmured.

A wistful smile ghosted her lips before she looked away. "In truth, I'm not even sure what home looks like. Feels like." Her fingers curled tighter to mine. "But I think…I'm starting to."

My heart thudding unevenly in my chest, she walked towards the desk that sat near the arrow loop turned stained glass window. I rubbed the back of my neck when I remembered the desk was situated so she would be able to see the door of my tower when she sat at it. She ran her hand over the top before glancing around the space.
Here she could work and host meetings as she needed to. Above was a meeting space and the top of the tower could be used for solitary training or to study the sky. Below the main floor were bunks—intended for the mages, but it seemed with her recent implements it had become a joined sleeping area for the mages and templars.

"Did I…make a mistake with Solana?" Her voice murmured before she turned to look at me. I was unsure what to say. "Am I blind to her as Ellana said?"

"I'm not the best to ask when it comes to Solana," I admitted, "I know the friend she has been to you. How and why you trust her. But she has a temper and prejudices—neither of which I can condemn her for. I am guilty of both."

"Is there hope for her then?" Her eyes met mine. "Given how far you've come?"

"There is always hope, love," I assured.

"I pray I was right in thinking this was the push she would need," she sighed, "Despite what Ellana says."

"I pray the Maker uses the probation period to soften her," I offered.

We looked at each other then and I watched as she flushed. "As do I," she admitted. We were silent again. "I…should probably speak with her and Barris."

"As much as I do not wish to part from you, there are a few things I should see to as well before…this evening," I cleared my throat, "Will you meet me in the garden?"

"Of course," she murmured.

I stepped towards her, lacing my fingers through hers. Her silver eyes blinked up to me. "There is much I want to say, beloved, but I…I want to do so without distraction." She nodded before slipping out of my surcoat. Taking it, I brushed a kiss to her cheek. "Until tonight."

…

Leaving her upstairs, I strode through the side door, walking along the battlements. There was something I needed to do before I saw to official business. Descending the small stairs, walking along the interior wall that looked down at the gardens, I followed the flight of stairs that spilled out to the covered walkway surrounding the courtyard. Stepping onto the main path, I spotted Mahanon.
Camlen was playing with Fioren next to where he stood guard. The babe giggled in delight from where she sat, pushing herself up to toddle after her brother. As they played, a spirit watched over them.
Snow white hair tumbled down her back, a dress made of water adorning her. Where she stood, the plant life all around grew faster and more vibrantly. From her, a peacefulness washed over me. Vibrant green eyes looked at me before she disappeared. I found Mahanon's hazel eyes studying me.

"Mahanon," I nodded as I approached him.

"Cullen," he nodded, the various beads and feathers in his hair tinkling with the movement.

"I wanted to speak with Feldor," I stated, "I thought Elolora would be here. Can you tell me where he is?"

"He and Mamae are in the stables with the horsemaster," he offered, "The clan from the Plains gifted mounts to Ellana for how she handled the discovery about the events at Red Crossing." I recalled something about a mourning halla being sent to the village in regards to what had been discovered.

"Right. Thank you."

"Cullen," he farewelled.

Nodding, I passed him to enter the small chapel. I was thankful to find it empty. Slowly, I approached the statue of Andraste. Looking up at her, gratitude filled me. I knelt before her, bowed my head and clasped my hands in prayer.
So many times I had come here, on my knees, begging for the strength to carry on. Begging for the pain to ease. Begging for so many things. Now as I knelt before her, as I asked her to beseech the Maker on my behalf, it was to give thanks. To worship her and the Maker as I had not done in so long. What had been promised in the Chant I had seen come true in my very life. And the Maker had worked in the most unexpected of ways.
He had called me to the templars, but I had lost my way when the fear of magic corrupted my purpose. Then through the actions of magic and mages, I had come to realize how far I'd strayed. He called me away from the Order and lyrium. Then Shame had preyed upon me. And again He used a mage, and her magic, to save me.
To save me and show me just how wrong I was about those whom He created with magic. How wrong I had been about magic. He had not abandoned me.
Ending my prayer, I stood, looking upon the statue once more before leaving to find Feldor. Before I exited the garden, trying to fight the feeling that everyone within was watching me, I took the time to collect a bouquet of flowers for Meira. Peonies, irises, roses, and lilies all in bloom from the careful tending of the caretakers.
Flagging down an attendant, fighting down the blush on my face, I asked that they see the bouquet delivered to the Mage Ambassador's desk in the mage tower. Exiting the garden, striding through the main hall, I quickly ducked through the door by Josephine's office before descending the stairs to the lower levels. I heard voices in the kitchen as I approached, but they stopped abruptly as I entered.

"Commander," the cook greeted, fondness in her voice. "It's good to see you well."

"Thank you," I replied.

She pressed bread, a wedge of cheese and an apple into my hands. "You eat that, now. We don't need you overworking yourself again."

"I'll do my best."

"Good lad," she chuckled.

Passing through, grabbing a couple sugar cubes, I opened the back door and descended the stairs to the stables. Dennet's mabari, Mobius and Marcia, came bounding out, deep barks in greeting. I tore off small pieces of bread and passed it to them before petting their mighty heads. They walked alongside me as I closed the distance to the stable door. I noticed Marcia seemed a little rounder around the middle than she had been.
More barks sounded and out came two more mabari that I recognized as Mia's. I had not known she'd brought them with her. At the thought, Mia came out of the stable, a wistful smile on her face as she looked at me.

"Well, I see that hasn't changed," she teased.

"What?" I questioned.

"Your fondness for animals," she murmured, "and their fondness for you. If you weren't hiding at your lake, you were in the barn."

I cleared my throat. "Yes, well…"

"Careful," she raised a brow, "People will think the Commander is all soft in the middle."

I rolled my eyes. "Maker's breath."

Mia laughed before waving me inside. "You have to see this."

Curious, I followed. A strange noise came from within the structure.

"Atish'an," Elolora's voice spoke as we strode inside, "Atish'an."

The elven female stood before a great antlered beast that had reared up on its legs. It reminded me of a deer, though it towered over any deer—or horse, for that matter. It was majestic to behold with its tawny coat, polished antlers and intelligent eyes. Elolora pulled on the lead, bringing the creature to her hand as she calmed it, speaking in the elven tongue.

"Maker, is that a right beauty, Dalish," Dennet whistled, "A hart you called it?"

"Aye, Horsemaster," Feldor chuckled from where he stood nearby. "Just wait until you see the halla."

"You brought a halla?" Dennet questioned, excitement in the man's voice.

Feldor looked at him, humor on his normally stoic features. "Aye."

"Never seen its like," Blackwall's deep voice admired, his blue eyes flicking over the beast. He stood near Mia, the two observing.

"Neither have I," Mia stated before she bumped her elbow against mine. "What do you think, Cullen?"

"It's impressive to be sure," I agreed.

Elolora helped Dennet get the now calm creature into a stall, I thankful it was large enough to fit its antlers. As the elven female exited, her jade eyes found me. A broad smile pulling her mouth.

"Cullen!" Elolora greeted merrily, arms flung wide to pull me into a hug. Embarrassment flushed through me, but I welcomed the embrace. She pressed away, hands coming to hold my face as a mother would, checking me over. "Thank the Creators you are well."

"Thank you, Elolora," I took her hands from my skin, but squeezed her fingers.

"Are you looking after yourself?" She questioned.

"I'm sure many would say no," I sighed, "but I am trying."

She chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?" My mouth tipped in a smirk. "What can we do for you?"

"I…wanted to speak with you and Feldor," I began, clearing my throat as my eyes flicked to the male. His dark eyes were unfathomable as he met my gaze. I noticed Mia watching us curiously and I prayed nothing had been given away in our interactions. I had not told them Meira's true identity as it was not safe—for them or the Inquisition.

"Let us finish here," she stated, "Then we may speak. Stay, would you? It'll only be a few moments." I nodded and she turned to leave the stable.

"Where is Rosalie?" I questioned Mia.

I went to my stallion's stall, "Stormheart," I greeted.

The Amaranthine Charger nickered at me, no doubt irritated that he had been deprived of treats for a few days. I held out the apple as a peace offering and apology. His chestnut eyes looked at me, not ready to forgive so easily. I placed a sugar cube on my palm as well. He nodded his head before his muzzle scooped up the sugar and then took the apple.
I patted his neck, running a hand over his glossy black bay colored coat. His tail swished in approval. Giving him another pat, I went to the stall that held Meira's horse. Mouse she had decided to call her. Solas had ridden her back from the Oasis. The mare greeted me sweetly, I running a hand over her nose as I fed her a sugar cube which she excitedly accepted.

"Still at the tavern. She's fascinated by the tales being shared," Mia replied, drawing my attention back to her, finding a small smile on her face as her gold-brown eyes watched me, "I needed to check on my mabari. Dennet, Ser Blackwall and I got to talking and then the hart arrived."

"We hope the hart can serve the Inquisitor as a mount," Feldor explained, "It'll be swifter and more sure-footed than any horse, not to mention braver."

"And the halla?" I questioned, eating the food given to me by the cook.

"For the Lieutenant-Commander," he stated, "If she would like. She practices the same magic that came from The People as the Inquisitor. It would be an honor. Otherwise, the Inquisitor will have an array to choose from."

"Forgive my lack of knowledge," Mia said, "but aren't halla…small? Too small to ride, I mean."

Feldor looked at her, face gentle. "I welcome your curiosity, da'len. There are a variety of halla. Those of the wild and domesticated for use to provide for our clans tend to be small, but those bred by the Dalish to pull our aravels are larger. We used to ride the halla, so they needed to be comparable to a horse in strength and stamina. With selective breeding came larger statures."

"I see," Mia nodded, "Why halla over horses?"

"The halla are a gift from our Creators. The first, a hunter transformed by the goddess Andruil when she was bound and left for dead by another hunter whom she had cursed. She became the goddess of guidance and navigation for our people—the halla her descendants and symbol." He had a faint smile. "There would be no Dalish without the halla."

Mia pinked. "Forgive me."

Feldor waved a hand dismissively. "Think nothing of it, da'len." His dark eyes flicked to me, humor in them. "Your brother has committed far greater impertinence."

"What do you mean?" Mia asked.

Feldor had an excellent Wicked Grace face. I could tell he realized his mistake from the barest flicker in his features, but he gave nothing away. "He nearly let a dragon eat my daughter."

Mia looked at me, Blackwall booming a laugh, and I rubbed the back of my neck. "Haven."

Mia looked between us, worry on her brow. Feldor let out a bark of a laugh. "You shemlens, always so worried you're going to meet our blade." He looked between us. "All is forgiven. If not for your brother, my daughter would not be alive. He is the one who found her in the snow."

Bleating sounds came from outside before Elolora led the halla into the stables. It was beautiful. Not so imposing as the hart, but equally majestic. Great carved horns curling from its head, a glistening coat and proud countenance. Elolora spoke gently to it, but her hand was firm as she led it inside. Dennet was practically crying as she waved him forward, showing him how to greet the animal.

"Could I…ride it?" He questioned.

Elolora smiled at the man. "What better way to learn about your charge?"

"Andraste bless me," he breathed, running a hand over his head, "You just made this whole job worth it."

Elolora laughed merrily, turning my thoughts to Meira. Wiping her hands clean, she turned her attention to me. "Now, Commander, what can we do for you?"

I forced my eyes not to flick to Mia who was watching intently. "The Inquisitor requested I speak with the two of you about our plans to keep everyone safe while we're in Halamshiral." The truth, in part, but all I would say in front of the others.

"Of course," Feldor nodded as he unfolded his arms and came to stand with us. "Lead the way, Commander."

"If you'll excuse us," I nodded to Mia, Blackwall and Dennet. I looked to my sister, "If you have need of anything, I am in the east guardhouse."

"We know you're busy. We will try not to be a burden," Mia assured.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You are not burdens." She smiled at that.

I led us out of the stables to my office. I could feel their eyes on the back of my neck, causing it to prickle with heat. As I entered, Sela looked up from where she had been working. "Sela, if you could have the Inquisitor join us, please?"

"Ser," Sela saluted and left.

I kept my back to them a moment before squaring my shoulders. "The tests of worth," I began, "They're to happen upon our return from Halamshiral." Elolora slipped her hand into Feldor's. "Should I succeed, I ask your permission to propose to Meira after. And to marry her after we defeat the threat in the Western Approach."

"You have our permission," Feldor stated, "Does Meira know about the wedding?"

I shook my head. "I have only spoken with Ellana about it."

"Good," he said, "Keep it that way."

I quirked a brow. "I shouldn't tell her?"

He shook his head. "Keep it a surprise. Same as the proposal."

"Why?"

"Do you know nothing of romance, boy?" Feldor probed, his mouth twitching.

Elolora gave him a playful nudge. "Feldor," she scolded. Her jade eyes looked to me. "What ma vhenan means to say, is such things are better done as a surprise."

I shifted on my feet, they ached from standing so much after my time laying about. "Alright."

When Ellana arrived, we went over the details of the tourney. The tests of worth were meant to show that I could provide for Meira. Provide food, provide protection and provide comfort. In its simplest form, the elven male would hunt and then cook his quarry to give to his chosen mate. If she accepted, she would eat the meal. They would exchange gifts and then be bonded before the clan.
The archery contest would serve in place of the traditional hunt, the melee a test of my ability to protect her. I found the idea of cooking a meal for her oddly intimate and told them I wanted to do so, but separate from the tourney—and away from prying eyes.
It was decided the tourney would take place over a week's time. The number of participants would have to be capped as the sheer amount of people amongst the Inquisition demanded it. Through the week after nightfall, feasts would be held. One to honor all those who had been lost to us. One for simple merriment. And the final to celebrate the winners or winner of the tourney.
When the details were settled, we turned the conversation to the wedding. Feldor and I quickly were cut from the discussion as Ellana and Elolora became enamored with the talk of what it could look like. Dalish bonding ceremonies were great celebrations, but given the Dalish way of life, simplistic in their nature. After I told them what an Andrastian ceremony was typically like, they were overcome with excitement at the ideas budding in their minds. I rubbed the back of my neck and told them they were free to plan it as they saw fit—however they thought Meira would most want it to be. I advised them that she would probably want simple, but they had dismissed me.
That taken care of, I turned my attention to everything I needed to get caught up on. Duty and guard rotation rosters. Reports, orders, requisitions, training schedules. The day to day responsibilities of Skyhold. I called in the troops, group by group, wanting updates and debriefings of all that had happened. The day quickly turned to night and I was so close to being finished. My body had long since grown tired, a slight headache pounding, but I relished the fact that both were bearable.

"Rylen's men will monitor the situation," I instructed, looking over the report from Scout Harding once more.

It was an update on the movements around Adamant. Our enemy was active, but staying within the walls. Hawke's party had gathered all the information they could without compromising themselves.
They'd snuck out and were on their way to Skyhold to relay all they had discovered as the information was too sensitive to risk a bird. For now, I'd instructed the men under Rylen's command to continue observing and begin readying Griffon Wing Keep for the Inquisition's arrival. I had given instructions to begin building the equipment we would need for a siege.

"Yes, ser," a soldier replied, "We'll begin preparations at once."

Part of readying the keep would be eliminating the darkspawn plaguing the area, which would slow our movements once we marched to lay siege to Adamant. We needed them cleared and quickly. A soldier handed me a list of those who'd volunteered to be sent ahead to help deal with the blighted creatures.

"In the meantime we will send troops…" I glanced up, as I returned the list to the soldier with an approving nod, my eyes catching on Meira standing behind the open north door. A coy smile pulled on her face as she watched me, a sense of pride bubbling up in my chest as there was admiration on her face. But it also reminded me that I was running late for our dinner.
"…assist with the relief effort." With the Approach addressed, everything I needed to see to immediately had been dealt with. Catching Meira's eye, fighting down a smile, I dismissed them, "That will be all."

They all saluted. "Ser!"

As they exited the tower, I came up behind them to close the door. Pressing my hands against the wood, hanging my pounding head, exhaustion creeping up my legs after so many days in bed, I let out a sigh. "There's always something more, isn't there?"

"Long day?" She asked, teasing in her voice.

I looked up to her. My breath caught as she shyly met my gaze. Burning starlight framed in waves of moonlight. The torchlight caressed her exquisite features that had been accentuated with makeup.
She was lovely in her attire. A dark, sleeveless bodysuit of velvet hugging her gentle curves from her neck to her ankles beneath a long-sleeved dress of shimmery silk the color of a cloudy sky that fell off her shoulders and was open from her waist to the floor. Over top of that, she had belted a cape that fell to the hem of her dress made of iridescent material that looked akin to butterfly wings and was trimmed in gold.

"Hello, my darling," I breathed as I stood. "You're looking lovely."

"Hello, my lion," she murmured, glancing up at me from beneath her lashes. "Thank you for the beautiful flowers. They made a rather trying day a bit brighter."

"You're welcome. Forgive me for running late," I apologized as I brushed a kiss to her cheek.

"The Inquisition won't rest—even if we may want to," she muttered, "A would-be god trying to plunge the world into chaos tends to put a damper on dinner plans."

She was teasing. I chuckled, but turned serious as I thought of what I needed to say before we lost any more time.
"I've not lost sight of what's at stake," I began walking towards my desk as I removed my belt, stripped my gloves off and unbuckled my vambraces, "but this war won't last forever. When it started, well, I hadn't considered much beyond our survival."
Setting those upon the desk, I turned back to her as I began to pull my surcoat off. "But things are different now."

"What do you mean?" She questioned, coming to stand behind me, gentle hands helping me slip my fur mantle from my shoulders where it had gotten caught on the gardbrace.

"I find myself wondering what will happen after," I murmured as I undid my vest and removed it.

"And?" She questioned as she stood before me, undoing the buckles of the gorget, breastplate and placard. I bent down so she could help me out of them all, setting them upon the desk.

"And to be honest, I haven't the slightest idea." She chuckled as she undid the buckles of my pauldrons and couters. Though I had not intended for her to help me out of my armor, I was grateful. Doing it myself took ages.
"You laugh, but it's the truth. I…I don't know how to do anything other than…this. Being a soldier. I haven't lived outside of a Circle in almost twenty years, this last year not counting. Neither have you. What are we supposed to do?"

Her lips twitched as she unlaced my doublet and held it as I shimmied out of it. Straightening, I pulled my shirt back down as I watched her. With care, she placed it all on the dummy that acted as an armor stand. I was down to my cotton shirt, leather pants and boots. She turned back to me, a gentle smile on her face and a blush blooming in her cheeks.

"Right now, we're supposed to eat dinner together." She stood on tiptoes to press a kiss to my jaw. "Get dressed. I'll meet you down there."

She turned to leave, but I caught her hand. "Meira." Silver eyes met mine, a dark brow quirked. "I need to say this before any more time slips through my fingers."

As I remembered nearly all that had occurred in the Fade, I had felt my love for her deepen to a level I had not known to be possible. I wanted her in every way imaginable, words failing to capture how I felt. For she had shown me a love beyond my wildest dreams.
But in the aftermath, she had come to worry that in that change I would want to show her my love through physical intimacy. As I looked at her in the torchlight, radiant and alluring, my body burning with want for her, every nerve sparked to life where our skin met, I could not deny how desperate I was for her.
Given how nervous my sister is that you're going to scoop her up and carry her to your bed. I fear you'd take advantage of it. Tell her what you told me. About waiting. Be the ideal, Cullen.
 I was once again taken aback by how well Meira understood me. She worried because she knew. She knew how much I wanted her. I had all but screamed it at her in the Fade. And she worried what it meant. And if she had not asked me to court her properly—if circumstances were different—I had to admit I would have been ready. I would have been tempted to carry her to bed.
But with circumstances being what they were, I knew that claiming her physically without any sort of promise, any sort of vow, to love her forever would dishonor her and her love for me. For I had heard her sorrow, her terror, in her cries as the demon had tortured her. And in them, what had been unbearable and had rent my soul asunder for her, was the devastation that had torn from her throat at being reminded of what had been stripped from her.
Something must have shown in my face for as I looked at her, she averted her eyes. A fierce blush on her cheeks as she worried on her lip. Something sensual crackled through the air between us, shooting from the back of my neck to my feet. She was waiting to see what I would do, something in her yielding to me instead of telling me what she wanted.
She yearns for what she thinks she cannot have. No matter her words…no matter what she thinks of herself. It's not you she doubts, it's herself.
 Sorrow filled my chest as I concluded what lay at the heart of it. Her worry about sex was not because of a lack of trust in me, it was that she did not think herself worthy of what she longed for…because of the past. Just as I did not think myself worthy of her love because of my past. Don't you do the same? And even though we were together—even though the Maker had brought us back together—given us this chance, she was scared to hope for it. Just as I was.
An overwhelming sense of pride climbed up my spine as another realization came: she had faith enough in me to hope I would give it to her. It was why she had asked me to court her. She had faith that I would understand, but was too afraid to ask for what she wanted outright. Not of me, but because she thought herself unworthy of it. If she would not ask, then I would tell her in no uncertain terms that she was worthy of everything she longed for and more. She'll understand when you give her the coin, the words won't matter as much. But the words did matter.

"Meira," I placed my hands on her waist to stand her before the desk. Fingers digging into the swell of her hips, I pressed my forehead to hers. Andraste, give me strength. Give me the words. "I remember."

Relief swept over her at those words. "Thank the Maker," she breathed, "I was so worried you didn't." But as she realized what that meant, she looked away from me.

I gently pressed my hand to her cheek, silently asking her to look at me. "Meira. My darling, my heart. I…there are no words to properly convey how sorry I am for all you suffered."

She leaned into my hand, despite the coolness of it, closing her eyes. "As I grieve for you, my lion."

"What I suffered is not—" she pressed her fingers to my lips to cut me off, her eyes flashing.

"—Suffering is not a competition, Cullen," she gently rebuked, "Life has not been kind to either of us."

I cleared my throat, a lump in it at such a gracious acknowledgment. I took the coin from my pocket. "No," I agreed as I opened my palm, "We should have died at Kinloch. Or Kirkwall. Or Haven. Take your pick," she looked down at the coin, surprise lighting her eyes, "And yet, we made it back to each other."
Her gaze flicked up to me, her face melting into a smile. "My brother gave me this the day I left for training," I explained, "It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck."
I looked at the trinket, its meaning so much more now. "Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through."

"Faith is stronger," she stated, assuredly, to which I nodded, "And we both know this coin means more to you than luck."

"It does," I acknowledged, "It has brought me luck, but it has also reminded me of my faith. But, moreover, it has come to represent my past, my present and," I met her silver eyes, "what I hope for in the future."
She blushed and looked down, tracing the rim of the coin with her fingertip, but she said nothing. "You have my heart, Meira," I murmured, pressing the coin into her palm, "but humor me by taking this too."

She looked at me in disbelief, "Cullen…"

"We don't know what we'll face before the end," I urged, that worry of losing her cropping up. I nearly had once already. The thought of losing her… "This can't hurt."

She looked at the coin a long moment, before meeting my eyes again, her lips twitching. "You know, typically when one proposes, it's done with a ring."

Biting back a laugh, I made to snatch it back. "If you're going to tease, I'd have it back. Hate for my luck to run out now that I finally have some."

She jerked it away from me before I could grab it. "I simply meant that this is very special to you. Now you're giving it to me. I cannot help, but feel that there is more significance to this than wanting to bestow luck upon me."

I made for the coin again, Meira pulled it behind her back. "Perhaps, but luck can't hurt either, lo—" As I reached for it again, she leaned back until her legs bent, the desk unforgiving, causing her to fall backwards. I tried to catch her, but my exhausted legs gave out. Together we fell back atop the surface, things crashing to the floor, but I didn't care.

She was laughing, my hand stuck beneath her as she moved to keep me from it. I pushed myself up, our hips pressing together causing heat to crawl up my neck. "You can't have it back," she teased, "It's mine."

I quirked a brow at her. "I'm not so sure you deserve it now. You seem rather ungrateful."

She bared her teeth in a smile of challenge. "Try to take it." Maker, she's going to be the death of me. Smirking, I poked her stomach with my free hand, wriggling my finger. She squirmed, huffing as she flashed a half-hearted glare at me.
"Cullen, what are you doing?" I didn't answer, but instead poked her again. She wiggled beneath me, heat pooling in my face. She gasped out a laugh. "Cullen!"

"Ready to give it back?" I growled.

Her eyes flashed defiantly. Stubborn indeed. "Have to do better than that."

"Have it your way then," I shrugged.

Without mercy, I plunged my fingers into her abdomen. Kneading, wriggling, squeezing as I tickled her. As she wiggled beneath my touch, girlish laughter bubbled up from her throat. She shrieked with delight. I marveled at how young she looked, how free. She laughed without care, melting into the childish behavior, her emotions unguarded.
Captivated by her, sprawled atop my desk, on display beneath me, I had stopped. Her silver eyes looked at me, full of mirth, a brow raised in question. Blood pounding hot in my veins, heart racing, I was desperate to capture her mouth in a kiss. That desire grew to yearning; yearning to feel her body cleaved to mine, to learn what it took to make her writhe and cry out in pleasure when my hands touched her more intimately.

The northern door burst open. "—Right, Cully, you seen, Princ…ess," Sera's voice cut off, "Andraste's ti—."

"—Sera," Meira greeted in spite of my mortification. She was fighting a laugh, mischief sparkling in her eyes before they shifted to where Sera stood. "How's it goin'?"

I barked out a laugh, understanding the joke, dropping my head onto her shoulder in resignation as I kept laughing.

"Well, I was gonna apologize for being a git the other night, but…now I don't think I will," Sera snorted a laugh as she turned back around, "Carry on."

Still atop Meira, breathing in her heady scent, as the door closed I mumbled, "I am so sorry."
She quivered with gaiety beneath me, rekindling that fire burning in my gut. I bit back a groan as I climbed off of her. Taking her hands, I pulled her up to sit atop the desk. Lacing our fingers, I knelt before her.
"Meira," her eyes met mine.
On my knee, looking up at her, she was wreathed in the light of the torches and candles. It cast her in a heavenly glow that tore the words from my throat. This ethereal creature, this exquisite elven female full of strength untold, a song unmatched in its beauty comprising her soul, was looking at me with open adoration. I, a wretch, but she loved me still. Her eyes shone like starlight as she looked at me.
I swallowed nervously, blushing from the tips of my ears to my neck as I spoke, "There are not words sufficient to express the depths of my love for you, but allow me to try."
She nodded. My tongue was heavy, my mouth dry. "When I told you before that I wanted to do this properly, I meant it. Nothing will change that."
My face was searingly hot, but I kept forcing words out. "You asked me to court you. And so I shall."

"And you have been," she assured. "What is this really about?"

"I have waited an eternity for you, Meira. And I would wait a thousand more," I vowed. She looked at me lovingly, but still did not understand.
I gripped her fingers in my own and stated with all the confidence I could muster, "I know you were worried, but…the first time we make love, I want you to be my wife…and no less." It was the truth, no matter how instinctively my body reacted to her.

"Cullen," she whispered, "Are you sure?"

My gut tightened with want at that question, but I pushed it away. "I want you to know in no uncertain terms that I want all of you, forever, before you would allow me to enjoy such a privilege." Her brow knit in incredulity. "And I believe that is what you want, but you're too afraid to ask outright."
I leaned forward to catch her eyes as she looked away, running a thumb over her cheek. "You want the assurance that I am not going anywhere…that it is not all I want from you. Am I right in that, love?"

She gave the smallest nod, eyes closing as she let out a breath. Her fingers ran down the inside of my arm. "But am I…being unfair to you by wanting that?" Her head fell as she murmured those words.

"Why in the Maker's name would you think that?" I demanded, my voice quiet, but not weak. I tilted her chin up, but she kept her eyes closed.
"Did I not tell you? I will wait as long as you need. I will do whatever you need of me. That hasn't changed." Her eyes flicked open to me.
"Would you tell me why you feared it would?" Her mouth opened, but quickly closed as she looked away in embarrassment. I curled her hair over her ear.
"Talk to me, love. You are safe with me. You can tell me anything."

Her eyes became intense as she looked at me. "Because I want you." She flushed and buried her face in her hands. "But I'm scared." Those words were raw and full of all that she would never be able to tell me.
She kept her face covered as she continued speaking, "I know this is…confusing and I'm probably overthinking—over-complicating—matters."

I chuckled, gently taking her hands from her face. "I know a thing or two about overthinking." She smiled appreciatively. I ran a thumb over the back of her hand. "It is just you and me. I'm here. I'm listening."

She let out a shaky breath, lacing her fingers through mine as she looked at our entwined hands. "I know what I…what I need in this. I need the assurance that you will be at my side always. That commitment and the trust, the safety offered in it."
She paused a moment. "But I also just want the wholesomeness and innocence of being courted and married before…," her eyes met mine, earnest despite the deep blush on her face, "So that when you…make love to me, I know I can enjoy it and find comfort in it. That I know I have a lifetime with you, and only you, to learn what it is supposed to mean…supposed to be like. So that I may be utterly vulnerable with you and be unafraid because I know you're not going anywhere."
She looked away. "That I can be assured that you love me for me and my body…sex…is just a part of that. I know if I…if we…tried before that, it…I…" Pain flickered over her face and she covered it with her hand again.
I squeezed her fingers. "I don't know if any of that even makes sense," she sighed, exasperated, moving her hand to look at me, her face full of apprehension.

"It does," I assured, my voice quiet.

Her voice was thick as she continued. "I love you so much, Cullen. And though I know it's what I need, I fear I am asking too much of you."
Anger bled into her face, the temperature dipping briefly. "There's no getting back what was stolen from me. And asking you to be bound to me, to be mine forever, to wait until that promise is fulfilled? Does it say I don't trust you? That I don't love you?"
Her eyes met mine. "Am I being selfish?"

It was just as it had been on the battlements all those months ago. Out of fear that she was being selfish because she would not be able to have children, she had wanted to end things. Not for herself, but for me.
And now? She was telling me that she was willing to give herself to me because she didn't want to be selfish, didn't want me to think she didn't trust or love me. But it was coming from a place of fear, of uncertainty, of doubt.
It's not you she doubts, it's herself. She loves you, deeply. Truly. So much so I think she would…do anything for you…even if it meant hurting herself. That's how she loves, I think…always putting everyone else first. At the expense of herself. Oh, my heart.
"There is nothing selfish about what you long for."

"But—"

"—To the Void with everything else," I growled, silencing her. Black hatred for the man that had so broken her that she somehow believed denying me her body until I was bound to her was not her right to do.
"Do not think so little of yourself as to believe you cannot ask this of me," I brushed her cheek with my knuckles, "Wedecide how this unfolds. I want what is best for you. And there is nothing wrong in that, sweetheart."

Tears shown in her eyes as she stared at me. "But…I want to make you happy."

Her words were so raw, so vulnerable, so full of doubt that she did or could. It's not you she doubts, it's herself. How right Cole had been…and how blind I was to how much she was hurting inside. Heal her scars. I still did not fully understand, but I knew in this…in waiting…that was part of the healing she needed. Oh, my darling.
 Taking the coin, I brought her hands to my mouth. Slowly, I kissed each of her fingertips, both of her palms and as I kissed her wrist, her pulse against my lips, I softly said, "You do make me happy." I kissed her other wrist. "Immenselyhappy."
I met her gaze, those tears had pooled, but did not fall. "But love isn't just about happiness," I murmured, "As you said to me: Love is shouldering your burdens, your pain, your fears. Love is holding your hand through failures and successes. Love is praying for your dreams, your hopes. Love is challenging you, supporting you, caring for you, comforting you and seeking only that which is best for you."
Those tears spilt down her cheeks, her lip quivering. "You are my one love, Meira. No one else will ever know or love me as you do. And because of that, I want to marry you. To be bound to you in the eyes of the Maker for all eternity before I am bound to you in any other way. Nothing less will do."
She hid her face in her hands again, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. "And you deserve no less."
A small cry slipped past her fingers. Gently, I pulled her to me, murmuring against her ear. "Another took from you. I wish only to give."
A sob tore from her as she buried her face in my neck, her fingers curling into my shirt. Wrapping her in my arms, fighting back tears of my own, I cradled her against my heart as I beseeched the ceiling. Maker, help me to be the man she needs. To love her as she deserves.
"I see you, love, and I want to give you everything. Everything you've ever dreamed of, everything you're scared to hope for. I would give you the world. Instead, if you'll have me, I'll give you the rest of my life. You deserve so much more, but it is all I have to give."
Her fingers curled tighter in my shirt, clinging to me. Taking her face in my hands after a moment, my breath caught at the joy lighting her stunning features. Holding her hand, I uncurled her fingers to press the coin to her palm with my thumb in emphasis as I said, "When I ask you to be my wife, there will be a ring. But take this as an assurance of the future. A prayer that our fortune will endure and a promise of what is to come."
She wrapped it in her hand as if it were the most precious thing in the world to her.
"I do not say or do any of this lightly, Meira," her eyes shone with love as they flicked over my face, "For though I do not know what the man I want to be fully looks like, I do know I cannot be him without you. I want you at my side for the rest of my days. And nothing will stand between me and that future." I vowed.
She smiled gently. I returned it, but the last bit of doubt flickered in my chest and I looked down. Does she truly want me? Forever? Does she truly want the same as I? I placed a hand over her's where they held the coin. "But I don't know what you—that is, if you, ah…"

She brought my hand to her lips. "Cullen," she breathed, a hint of teasing as my name rolled off her tongue. I met her gaze. "Do you need to ask?"

As her eyes flicked between mine, it silently conveyed all I was foolish enough to doubt. Don't you do the same? But she had told me from the beginning what she wanted.
Because, Cullen, I love you. She chose me. All of me. Forever. Of course she wanted the same.
My lips twitched. "I suppose not."
She gave me a loving smile, her hands clinging to mine. I brought the other up to cup her cheek, "I want—" You, forever.

"—Shh, my lion," she whispered, "I understand. I'm yours."

A noise in my throat in answer, slowly, I leaned forward. Her eyes drifted closed as our lips brushed in the gentlest of kisses. It was almost as if we were kissing for the first time again after so long apart. We broke a moment, though we didn't part, gazes meeting. She closed her eyes and almost shyly pressed her lips to mine before pulling away again. Her eyes full of want and love as she looked at me.
I took her face in my hands and captured her mouth with mine. She let out a whimper as she melted against me. My hands gentle as I held her, I lost myself in her. She tasted better than anything as I felt my every fiber spark to life, her mana singing against my lips, our souls caressing.
Her hands slid up my chest before she flung her arms about my neck, her fingers in my hair, her touch arousing, reassuring and possessive all at once. Though my eyes were closed, I felt I saw her more clearly, more perfectly than I ever had. Dazzling bright and filling my world with vibrant color after so long in the dark.
She was everything. My everything.
And as I dared allow myself to think of us marrying, of us making love while she was in my arms, I found I admired what she wanted sex for us to be about. Pleasure yes, but comfort also. Both found in the physical expression of a bond of utter trust and safety. The ability to be unashamedly vulnerable.
And there was something comforting in knowing that because she would be my wife, I had the entirety of my life to spend learning how to please her and to know it would be her I would get to find pleasure in. That it would be us learning together. Then as we grew old and desire cooled, it would still be her at my side, whom I would know and be known by as only the Maker knew us. And there was something evocatively romantic in the notion.
Slipping my hands from her face, I slid them around her slender waist to pull her against me as I stood. I curved my body to hers as my hand cupped the back of her head. Slanting my mouth over hers as it softened, I drank her kiss as if it were the finest wine.
Her fingers dug into my bicep, while her nails scraped the back of my neck. After a moment, I broke away, her hands coming to hold my face. Her eyes stayed closed a moment, dark lashes brushing her flushed cheeks. Eyes of starlight blinked open, glittering with passion.

"Maker, but you're beautiful." Her eyes flicked down, a timid smile pulling her lips. "Look at me, Meira." She did.
"I thank the Maker for you. I thank the Maker for your magic. And though I will never be worthy, though I will never understand why, I thank the Maker that you love me."
Her eyes flicked between mine. "And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

She pressed her nose to mine, her eyes closed. "Nor I you," she murmured, "Now if Corypheus could just…keel over and die, I would be most appreciative."

I chortled. "As would I, but I do not believe we'll be so fortunate."

"Then this coin of yours is useless," she groaned.

I barked a laugh. "You wound me."

She breathed a laugh before kissing me tenderly, her brow furrowing. "I love it, Cullen, truly. Thank you for entrusting something so precious to me."

"You are what is precious to me," I whispered.

"Your words will be my undoing, my knight," she sighed, "So loving and tender."

I kissed along her nose. "For you, I try." My stomach howled, causing us both to chuckle. "It seems I am starving."

She smiled brightly, her own stomach growling loudly. "Me too." Her eyes flicked over me. "Do you want to change first?"

I looked down at myself before rubbing the back of my neck. "I suppose I should. Wait for me?"

She nodded and I climbed up the ladder to the loft above. Going to the trunk where I had taken to storing a couple of changes of nicer clothes, I grabbed a few items. I pulled off my shirt and replaced it with a fresh one. Exchanging the boots of my armor for boots of finer leather and make before sliding on my favored fur-lined coat. I checked my hair before pulling on a pair of gloves.
Climbing back down, I let go a few rungs up from the bottom to land before Meira where she leaned against the ladder. A smug grin tugging my mouth as her gaze roved over me appreciatively, one hand still on the ladder, the other captured her waist as I caught her lips in a kiss.
Breaking, I offered her my elbow. Her hand came to rest in the crook, her other on my forearm as I led her out of the tower by the western door. Following the battlements until we came to the stone stairs near the tavern—not making the mistake of walking in on Bull and Asaala again—we walked behind the tavern and up the stones steps, following the path we'd taken earlier until we passed through the mage tower and on to the stairs that led down to the gardens. A soldier stood guard.

"Commander," the soldier saluted as he stepped aside, allowing us entrance to the garden, "The Inquisitor asked a few of us to stand guard to bar entry to the gardens to all, but you and the Lieutenant-Commander during the night hours."

I was unsure how I felt about it, but Ellana had all, but commanded that this take place. Giving a nod, we strode on. We walked beneath the overhang until it opened to the inner path. The rain had finally stopped, the night air cool, but not uncomfortable. Droplets of rain refracted the light of the torches and the stars above.
As we walked the garden path in comfortable silence, I noticed how much it had come along. No longer a tangle of weeds and unkept plants with no rhyme or reason, Meira's mother had cultivated it into a beautiful space. Both decorative and utilitarian, the plants within were not only pleasing to the eye and nose, but served purposes in both the infirmary and kitchen. Benches were dotted around, the fountain that had been commissioned; it trickling gaily in the middle. Lanterns hung on poles lined the walkway, mage lights within and even fireflies bouncing upon the still air.
We made our way to the stone gazebo where it was hidden behind a flowering bush. A small feast of roast venison with apples stewed in a brandy sauce, mashed potatoes and seasonal greens awaited us. The candlelight inviting as it danced off the glasses of red wine.
I pulled her chair out for her, gesturing for her to sit before I pushed her in to the table. Taking my own seat, we quickly dove into the food. After she'd gotten a few bites in, I cleared my throat. Now that we had come to a plain understanding of what this was and where we were going, it was time to build upon what we were. Her eyes flicked up to me.

"It occurs to me that there are a few things I don't know about you," I began.

She quirked a brow. "Such as?"

"First, what day you were born?"

She smiled sheepishly. "I never did tell you, did I?"

"No," I chuckled, "Despite all, but clawing mine out of me."

She shrugged, unapologetic. "Solana and I had played a game of guessing, I wanted to know which of us was correct."

"And who was correct?" I probed.

A smug grin pulled her mouth, her eyes full of that stubborn nature she kept hidden. "I was. 13 Guardian. It's very fitting."

My brow knit. "And why is that?"

"Aside from the obvious, Ser Templar," she rolled her eyes, "It's the month of Wintersend. You remind me of spring. Chasing after life and light. But you burn like summer. Bright, golden and warm."

I shifted in my seat. "Then why didn't you guess one of the warmer months?" I questioned, my voice rough.

Her smugness softened to something gentle before she became embarrassed. "Forgive the…immaturity of this: I guessed then because I was born at the beginning of winter. 21 Haring." She blushed, looking away as she begrudgingly mumbled, "You were the end to my winter."

My mouth pulled in a smile. "So, you have the heart of a hopeless romantic."

"Tease if you must, my knight," her eyes flashed.

"One of us must," I shrugged, "I fear I am too…what is the polite term people use of me? Pragmatic?"

"Deny it all you wish, but you're no less of a romantic," she challenged, "You just hide it beneath a surly exterior."

I chortled. "I admit nothing." She smiled warmly. At it, I realized how desperate I was for her to smile, to laugh and to do so often. And I marveled that I was able to make her do both.
I leaned forward, lacing my fingers with the hand that sat on top of the table. "I am sorry that I missed celebrating it with you."

"I didn't say anything because there were more important things happening," she shrugged, "Though, I'm sorry I was gone for yours."

"I honestly didn't even register its passing," I sighed, "I was…not in a good state." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I suppose that means I'm thirty years old now."

"And I'm twenty-nine," she breathed, "How time flies." She took another bite of her food. "Another question?"

"Why did you take the name Neria Surana?" I probed. It was a question that had been burning in my mind since I learned of her true name, but I had hesitated to ask for fear of hurting her.

Her face fell a little. "I couldn't be Meira Lavellan anymore. Not after what happened. Neria was the name of my grandmother. I suppose you could say it is my middle name, as my parents named me after her—it is where Meira came from," a finger ran around the rim of her glass.
"As for Surana, it was the name of a Chantry Mother that saved me from a human merchant that meant to punish me for stealing. I had taken an apple. She paid the merchant and took me to a Chantry. She saved me from starving to death.
"It was there that I heard the Chant for the first time. I lived there for a few months, until templars came and realized I had magic. I ran, stowing away on a ship. That is how I ended up in Ferelden."

She kept her eyes averted while I was silent a moment. "Will you…will you tell me? About before we met?" She met my eyes, a sadness in them. You were the end to my winter. "And will you tell me what happened at the temple?"

"I don't want tonight to be sad," she murmured.

I squeezed her fingers. "You don't have to, if you don't want to."

She shook her head. "It's not that, I want to tell you," she chewed on her lip, "I just…" She let out a breath. "I am not defined by my tales of woe."

"No," I agreed, "You're not. I have watched you stand before insurmountable darkness, watched it try to swallow you, only for you to shine all the brighter—stronger than before."
Where I had once believed her to be like the dawn, the end to darkness, I had come to realize she was more like the moons and the stars. Shining amidst it.
"You don't give up. You don't lose hope. No, you are not defined by them, but you have been molded by them. Forged by them. And I wonder if you will not become unbreakable by the end of this. I have never met anyone like you, Meira."

She blinked at me, unsure how to take that assessment. "I…Thank you."

"But you should not have to carry such burdens alone," I stated, softly, "I will never force you to speak of anything you do not wish to, but know that I am here."

She hesitated a moment. "I will tell you."

As she shyly began to tell me all that had happened from the time she had been pushed out of her clan to when I had first seen her sitting in the library of Kinloch Hold, I was mesmerized. She told me what she and the other mages had faced at the hands of Uldred. Utterly enthralled by the tale that had forged the spirit of this female I cherished. For she told me that a demon of pride had been her final adversary within the temple and had used the very same memories to try and break her.
The temple, at its core, had taken everything she feared and everything she hoped for and twisted it into temptations. Most easily defeated, though she admitted Desire had nearly triumphed again as it had offered something she knew she could never have. She apologized when she told me she could not bear to tell me more than that for the time being. The pain in her eyes—a pain akin to bereavement—was enough for me to guess what it had most likely been and I ached for her.
After conquering all of them, Pride had tried to turn her faith against her, using her most painful memories and twisting them to mean what they didn't. But through it, she had learned to wield her dreamer gifts and thus was able to help me.
At the end, she closed her eyes and let out a breath. I stood from the table, going to her. I turned her chair to face me and once more knelt before her. I took her hands and kissed her knuckles.

"And that's my tale of woe." Her eyes found mine, her lips flickering with a ghost of a smile. "But know, I would go through it all again, a thousand times, if it meant that all of this would happen. That we would be here. Together."

"Darling, I fear you are as grim and fatalistic as Solas." Her brow knit in confusion. "I think the only thing that could make your tale any worse is if you were an orphan," I teased, wanting her to smile. Her brows rose, the barest hint of humor coloring her features. "Or were addicted to lyrium."

At that, she flung her head back to peal with carefree laughter before she flung her arms around my neck. Kissing my jaw, she murmured against my skin, "I'll leave those to you, my love."

"Cruel female," I teased as she leaned back from me.

I cradled her face in my hands as she held my wrists. I kissed her forehead. "I love you." I kissed the point of her ear. "I love you." I kissed the other point. "I love you." I kissed her nose. "I love you." I kissed her mouth. I felt her smile beneath my lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she breathed, "Promise me you'll always be here to make me laugh."

"Humor is not exactly my area of expertise, love," I chuckled, "but for you, I'll try."

Her eyes stared into mine. "Promise me you'll always be here to catch me."

Recalling when I had saved her from falling at the tower, she promising to be at my side even then, but knowing she meant more than just physically, I vowed, "Always."

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