CULLEN

I awoke some time later, my sleep surprisingly restful as I felt Meira's presence by my side through each nightmare. My head still in Meira's lap, I was careful as I sat up, fighting back the chuckle at her sleeping form. Her lovely mouth slightly agape, the tension lessened in her features. But as she was slouched against the back of the couch, the blanket having slipped off, I knew she had to be uncomfortable.

Gently, I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the bed. Laying her down, I tucked her beneath the covers before pressing a kiss to her brow. As much as I desired to hold her as she slept, there was too much to do before our departure for Sahrnia and before that…there were answers I sought.

Scribbling a note to Meira before leaving her rooms, I changed clothes in my own chambers. Flagging down one of Leliana's people, I requested coffee and breakfast be sent to Meira's room before heading for the chapel. Relief poured over me as I found Mother Giselle within, the older woman's dark eyes falling on me as if she'd sensed my coming. A slight nod and soft smile before she gestured for me to sit.

"You were expecting me?" I questioned.

She quirked a brow. "No, but I had hoped."

"Why?"

"I pray for you daily, Commander."

"Meaning?"

She chuckled slightly before sitting beside me. I was surprised as she placed a hand over mine, giving my gloved fingers a gentle squeeze. "What is it you wish to ask of me?"

"What does the Chant say about magic?" I demanded, my voice harsher than I meant it to be. "Not the Chantry. Not the Order. The Chant."

"Have you not read the verses, Commander?" She questioned.

"Of course I have, but I want to know what you think. You hold views contradictory to the rest."

She studied me. "What is this really about, Cullen?"

So perceptive. I clenched my jaw. "I used my templar abilities without having taken lyrium in months. I used nothing but my will. Like a mage." I stared her down. "Does the Chantry convince templars that they are some bulwark against magic and then…equip us with magic?"

She pursed her lips. "What do you believe?"

"Don't give me that," I hissed.

She folded her hands in her lap. "I ask because it is important to know whether you truly seek answers or if you have already made up your mind."

I stood, pacing before her. "All I have been told my whole life as a templar is of the evils and dangers of magic," I growled, "I have been at the…mercy of them. But it has not stopped me from loving a mage. From seeing the good in magic and mages. The wrong in the Order. How both mage and templar have been used. How desperately we need change." I stopped and looked at her. "But is it the Maker's will? Or my own guilt?" I faced her fully. "And if my abilities are…magic…if the Order is built on no more than lies…does it even deserve to remain?"

She was silent for a long moment, measuring her words. "When you wield a blade, does it have a mind of its own? Or do you control it?"

"I understand that the danger of magic stems from the morals and will of the mage," I dismissed, "Barring they are not possessed."

"And should the Order cease to be, who would protect the innocent from a possessed mage?"

I met her eyes. "Other mages. All they need is enough lyrium."

"And proper timing," Giselle added. "Do you truly see no benefit to templars?"

I looked away. "Perhaps, but—"

"I cannot answer your question about your abilities, save for this: magic is meant to serve man, never to rule over him. I believe Our Lady would have meant all forms of magic." Her dark eyes found mine. "If you believe what you fear is possible, then should templars rule over mages as they have for so long? Or is it as you said, a time for change?" She looked up to the likeness of Andraste. "The Chant does not teach that magic is evil. It teaches that pride is evil and does not corrupt only mages. You have found this to be true, have you not?"

I made a face, crossing my arms. "I have fallen to such sin."

"And why is that?"

"Because the Order is told to believe itself superior."

"And how does one remedy such pride?"

"By putting mages on equal ground."

"And what do you mean by equal?"

I let out a breath. "What the Divine intended."

Giselle chuckled. "Justinia intended much. Perhaps too much. But I understood what she was after, agreed with much of it." She looked to me once more. "Your beloved has set them on the path, but to reach the end? Can she do it on her own? Can she alone steer them?"

I looked to Andraste as I pondered her questions. Though I believed see meant them rhetorically, I still answered when my mind had settled. "No."

"You doubt her?"

"Not for a moment," I shook my head, "but she has already made it clear that she alone should not be responsible. And she is right. She's set them on the path, given them the tools, but only they can decide how this ends. She's held one assembly already, but it was amongst those within the Inquisition." I clenched my jaw. "This must be settled amongst a larger group. And perhaps…" I dared not finish my thought.

"Perhaps?"

I tightened my lips. "Perhaps having the apostate that started this all there would…make a difference."

"Do you believe that wise?"

I snorted. "No." I sighed. "But between he, Hawke and I…" I met her gaze. "There are so many questions surrounding Kirkwall. And before that, my…experience at Kinloch Hold. Talitha's story—what she is willing to share of it. If we are to change minds…to change the course of the future…perhaps it is time that old wounds be laid bare and allowed to heal."

There was a subtle shift in her features. "I shall pray, Cullen. For all of it."

"Thank you," I nodded before striding out the small chapel.

…

I sat within my office, seeing to a few pressing matters before returning to Meira. The sun was just beginning to rise when I heard a knock upon my door.

"Commander Cullen?" An Orlesian accent called through the wood.

"Yes?"

The door opened to Abernache and the Avvar chieftain. Confused, I set aside my work to give them my full attention.

"I'm sure you're rather surprised at our coming to speak with you, seeing as our duties usually put us at the mercy of your Ambassador, but word has spread of what awaits you in Emprise du Lion. And the difficulty your people have had in getting there—particularly unseen." The Orlesian lord spoke.

"We've lost everyone we've sent ahead to scout, yes," I stated, "We were going to escort Scout Harding next. She's the best we have."

"Another thought?" The chieftain spoke in his deep voice. I was still taken aback at the sheer size of the man as he stepped forward. Another head and shoulders on me and nearly twice as broad, he was truly massive.

"Go on."

"My tribe may hail from the Mire, but I've relatives in the Basin. Live there. They've called for me to ask for the Inquisition's aid on their behalf. They can get you up, keep you hidden. They've the horses, the furs and the warriors. They'd guide you, protect you and shelter you."

"In exchange for what?"

"Clever," the chieftain chortled, "but no deception. They've a town valued in trade past the mountains. Your enemy has cut off those supplies and a means of survival by it. Your enemy is their enemy."

"And you can guarantee this?"

"No guarantees in the Frostbacks, but I can swear by the Lady of the Skies that they will do their utmost."

I looked to Abernache. "And you?"

"If the Inquisition can secure and stabilize the region, I can guarantee coin in your pocket and more Orlesian lords in your debt and allegiance." He waved a hand dismissively. "I'll speak with your Ambassador about the particulars."

I looked between them. "Very well. Speak with the Lady Ambassador, Abernache. And Movran, speak with Scout Harding. Coordinate your people and ours. Our time is limited, this must be done as swiftly as possible."

Abernache gave a slight bow. "Commander."

Movran put a fist to his chest. "Young chief."

With that, they left the tower and I let out a breath in relief. If we had a way up the mountain and a way to remain undetected…perhaps we could surprise Samson after all. Seeing to the last of what was pressing, I left the tower and made my way past the stables towards the kitchen entrance. But before I could, I was stopped by Mia.

"Cullen!" She called, a broad smile on her face.

"What is it? How's Rosalie?"

"Rose is resting, but recovering. But come on, you have to see this!"

With no further explanation, she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the barn.

…

MEIRA

"Fadewalker," Prudence's voice called as I was pulled from dreams to the Fade.

I met her gaze to find it fully of worry. "What's wrong?"

"I have searched the Fade. Spoken to many a spirit about your predicament."

"And?"

"And it would seem what I have feared is most likely the truth."

"What you have feared? What do you mean?"

"You wish to put an end to the shadow that haunts you. To that being that allows you to bear the armor. That makes you not quite mortal, yet not quite abomination."

"Only if there is a way to keep possession of the armor."

"I thought there was a way, but feared what it would take. I spoke with others to see if there were any other option, but given the nature of the armor and how it came to be…it was obvious there would be no other choice."

I furrowed my brow. "What choice is that?"

Her sapphire eyes bored into my gaze. "Blood magic."

I shook my head. "No."

"You asked for an alternative. This is the only one. I have given you the knowledge. Only you can decide what to do with it. It would take your blood upon the metal and magic to command it to submit to you. There is no guarantee it would truly work, given its complexity, but that is the general consensus."

"Blood magic isn't an option," I growled.

"As I said, I've merely given you the knowledge. You alone decide what to do with it."

I nodded. "Thank you, Prudence."

"Be well, Fadewalker."

…

I awoke to the smell of Cullen saturating my nose. I'd been moved to my bed, the soft mattress and pillows beneath me, the curtains whispering in the gentle breeze. Over me, Cullen had laid the blanket I had covered him in when we'd slept upon the couch. I blinked my eyes open, dawn just beginning to fracture across the sky, mingling with the sleepy heavens as the purplish-black of night yielded to rays of bronze, rose and fiery orange that reached for the last silvery stars.

I stretched gently before rolling to my other side. Upon the bedside table I found a cup of steaming coffee and beneath it a note in Cullen's hand. Sitting up, I grabbed the note.

Beloved,

Forgive me if I have not returned before you wake. I needed to seek answers. If you do wake before my return, wait for me? I wish to speak with you of what I discover. Moreover, I wish to give you a proper thanks for your care.

All my love,

Cullen

As I finished, I heard the door at the foot of the stairs open. I listened as Cullen breathed a curse as the door creaked on its hinges before his deliberately quiet steps. I pulled the sheets to my mouth to stifle a laugh. I watched the top of the stairs until he reached the landing. His eyes found mine and softened before he leaned against the balustrade, arms crossed as he looked at me.

He was dressed in a fresh shirt and a leather jacket that was open, darker leather pants and his boots. In the mixed light of the fire and dawn, he shone and his eyes smoldered like molten bronze. A crooked grin tugged on his scarred lip and I couldn't help the blush blooming in my cheeks.

"Maker, you are a lovely sight in the morning," he murmured, breaking the silence.

He made his way to the bed and sat down on its edge. My heart skipped a beat at the way he was looking at me. He seemed almost relaxed, odd given what we were to face. His skin cold as he cupped my cheek, his thumb caressed my cheekbone before taking my face in both hands and pulling me into a tender kiss.

"Good morning," he breathed when he broke away, pressing his forehead to mine. "Thank you for last night."

I chuckled softly. "Good morning. I'm glad I could help."

"As am I," he chortled before giving me a light kiss.

"So what were these answers you sought?"

He leaned away from me, his eyes tinged with sadness as his jaw clenched, that relaxed state slipping away. "I went to speak with Mother Giselle about what the Chant says of magic and mages."

I quirked a brow. "And?"

He clenched his jaw harder. "She guided me, but gave me no plain answers."

"So what did she guide you to conclude?"

His eyes found mine again. "What I feared."

I took his hand. "Meaning?"

He was silent a few moments, looking out to the balcony facing the rest of Skyhold as his fingers slid across my skin causing gooseflesh to erupt in the wake of his touch. "We must have the Conclave. A chance for mages and templars to come to a new conclusion. A new compromise. New purposes. Magic is meant to serve. Templars are meant to protect. It is time we remembered those truths." His fingers squeezed mine. "After Adamant, the Conclave. Once that is done," his face softened before he caressed my nose with his, "I face the trials, triumph, and finally marry you."

"The Conclave?" I questioned.

"Officially, yes," he nodded before a smile pulled his mouth, "But that is tomorrow. First, a surprise before we must face what lies ahead. Get dressed and I'll walk you."

"Surprise?"

He flashed a mischievous grin as he stood. "It's not a surprise if I tell you."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but he only chuckled before stooping down, hands pressed upon the bed, thumbs grazing my hips as his lips met mine in an eager kiss. Straightening, he made for the stairs, gave me a final look before taking the stairs two at a time. I heard the door open and close.

Getting out of bed I quickly dressed and made my way down the stairs. Opening the door, Cullen was leaning against the wall. A hand came out to wrap around my waist and pull me to him as he kissed me deeply. His fingers brushed my cheek before he offered his elbow.

Together we made our way down to the main hall, to the door near Josephine's office before descending the stairs to the bowels of Skyhold. I noticed construction beginning to take place as we passed through the keep and on to the kitchen. Bread and cheese were pressed into our hands before we exited to the lower bailey near the stables.

He took my free hand, fingers twining with mine, as we passed into the stables. I noticed Dennet, Mia and Blackwall near one of the end stalls. Dennet looked up as we entered.

"Made it just in time, Commander," he stated, "She's just finished."

I looked to Cullen, curious, and felt my heart stutter at the broad smile on his lips. He was smiling, really smiling. His near perfect teeth showing as he did. He looked years younger and…happy. Not that he hadn't been since we'd become an item, but to see him happy despite what weighed upon both our shoulders…something eased in my chest at it.

His amber eyes flicked to look at me and that smile widened, causing my knees to feel weak. The others parted as he led me to the stall. Within, Dennet's mabari, Marcia, laid as she was nursing pups. Half a dozen tiny things suckled, but one smaller than the rest was having trouble finding its way. Eyes shut and ears closed, it had to rely on smell as it made its still foreign legs move.

Cullen knelt to scoop the pup up and move it closer. Not too close as to let it find its own way, but enough that it was not so far away. At the move, the pup seemed determined, slowly wiggling its way. Mobius, who'd been observing, nudged the pup a little further, causing Cullen to chuckle. It kept going until at last it found what it sought. Mobius let out a noise of contentment before laying down upon the hay.

"Seven pups," Mia murmured, "That's quite impressive."

"You're welcome to one," Dennet stated, his dark eyes studying her, "You and your brother."

"Bran would surely like a pup to grow up alongside Samuel," Cullen stated.

Dennet snorted, "I meant you, boy."

Cullen startled, turning to look at Dennet. "Wh-What do you mean?"

Dennet's mouth twitched. "Seeing as how ya saved my life twice now, least I could do." He nodded to Mia. "And she's in need of new blood."

"But I—"

"Don't start with that nonsense," Dennet crossed his arms over his chest, "They got two months before they can leave Marcia. Two weeks before they open their eyes. And I'll be more than happy to care for the pups until you're ready to take 'em full-time."

"Well, I…thank you," Cullen murmured.

For a few moments he was silent, his eyes focused upon the pups. Gently, I squeezed his hand. When his eyes found mine, my chest bloomed with warmth at the emotion in them. I knew it wasn't simply due to the prospect of having a mabari—a lifetime dream of his—but the notion of what it meant. It meant he could have a life, a future, that was his. And slowly, little by little, that future was getting closer. We said nothing, just looking at each other.

"I should speak with the Inquisitor," he said after a few moments, "I've something to discuss with her."

"And I should speak with Solana and Barris," I nodded.

"I'll see you later?" He questioned, a brow raising.

I smiled. "I know where to find you."

He chuckled. "That you do." Then he grew serious again. "As I know where to find you." There was an undertone in his voice as he said those words that denoted the comfort he took in that truth. The same comfort I took in knowing he was always close when we were both in Skyhold.

I nodded and we stood, saying our goodbyes to the others. Leaving, Cullen flagged down one of Leliana's people to ask where we would find Ellana. It seemed she was in the War Room.

…

The day passed, I preparing the Battalion and Cullen seeing to his preparations. Word came from Lady Sybil, pledging her men, trebuchets and other war machines from Jader. Ellana sanctioned whatever plan Cullen had proposed to her and word was sent for the Battalion to meet the Commander and his chosen men at the village gate below. Cullen had instructed to pack only the essentials as any equipment needed would be acquired on the road.

"I wish I could come with you," Ellana's voice sounded from behind me. I turned to find her sitting on the couch, worry on her brow. She met my gaze. "Promise me, you will be careful."

"As careful as I can be," I nodded.

"Let Cullen protect you. Let the Battalion fight. Don't try to do it all on your own."

I looked at her then. "What's wrong?"

"I feel uneasy about this," she admitted, looking away, "I just want you to be careful. But I would feel better if I were going with you." I came to join her on the couch where she promptly pulled me in for a hug. "I cannot help but feel the worst is ahead of us. I know I cannot prevent it nor can we sit by, but…"

"All we can do is pray, Ellana," I murmured, "We all have our duties. We have all committed to seeing Corypheus ended. We must see to it."

"I know," she breathed, "but Creators, some days I wish this would never have happened to me. To you. That we'd never been born with magic or—"

I leaned away and took her hands in mine. "But we were. And it has. And no matter how difficult it has been, there is a reason we have gone through it. We must cling to that hope. That there is a reason and at the end, all of it will be worth it. No matter what comes."

Anger flitted across her face. "And if you were to lose Cullen, would you still feel that way? Or he you? What about me? How could I live with myself if I lost you?"

I was quiet a moment. "Da'len. Din'an nadas." She looked away. "Death is inevitable, Ellana. What matters is the time before it."

I watched as her jaw clenched. "Telanadas." Her burning green eyes met my gaze. "I will not lose you."

"Ellana, what is this really about?" I questioned. "You seem…shaken."

"I had to look into the eyes of those who follow me and see—yet again—sorrow as our enemy surprised us and took those they loved. I failed them. Again. Rage stirs my heart. Stirs us all. But we cannot be blinded by it. Do not let Cullen be blinded. Do not become blinded yourself." She leveled a look at me. "We cannot lose our way."

"I will look after your Commander," I stated, my lips twitching despite the seriousness of my voice, "And your Commander will look after your Lieutenant-Commander."

The worry in her face ebbed a bit as she rolled her eyes. "He's not my Commander."

"Nevertheless, I will see him to Adamant."

"I will hold you to that." With that her worry fell away. She hugged me once more before descending the stairs. She opened the door and threw over her shoulder, "Enjoy your time with the Avvar."

"With the what?"

She simply laughed and closed the door.

I left soon after to make my way to our designated meeting spot when a thought occurred. One I had not expected to have and yet it pricked at me. Calling upon the armor, I disappeared as I made my way through Skyhold and on to the village below. Ghilani followed, but to anyone it would look as if the wolf were alone.

Once below, I made my way to the tents that housed Clan Lavellan. Moving amongst the Dalish, I headed for the most prominent tent. My fingers brushed the fabric and I hesitated. Were I to take this step…would they hurt me once more?

Pushing away the doubt, I stepped inside. Ma and Da were within, Fioren toddling about their feet. My other siblings were nowhere to be found. Removing my armor, I cleared my throat. I watched them turn, surprise evident on their faces as they took me in.

"M—Talitha?" Ma questioned.

"Da'len?" Da called.

"I just wanted to say goodbye before we left," I murmured, fiddling with my fingers, "I won't see you again until after Adamant. And the last time I was gone for that long—"

They both enveloped me in a hug before I could finish.

"Be careful," Da said.

"And be safe," Ma added.

"But most importantly, defeat them," Da growled.

"We will."

…

We stood at the village gate, awaiting the others as they said their goodbyes to loved ones. My heart ached as children cried and clung to their parents or spouses clung to each other and wept. Some of the wives had round bellies, their unborn child soon to make an appearance.

Ellana was right, rage did burn through us all. Rage for those we'd lost. Rage for all that still lay ahead. We would lose many more. More children would be left without a mother or father, some never to meet them. More spouses left without their beloved. All because a would-be god and his servants decided to tear an already broken world apart. They had been one step ahead of us from the beginning, but now we had a chance. A chance to strip Corypheus of one of his generals and I understood Cullen's drive to do so.

Upon his shoulders was the weight of all those we'd lost. I'd found the ever growing list of soldiers who'd perished in service to the Inquisition that he'd been keeping. The letters he'd handwritten to send to their families. Each unique. I'd asked him how he knew each soldier, but he said he hadn't. Instead, he would go to those they fought beside or who had known about them to learn what he could in order for the letters to not be meaningless. The soldiers were people, not tools to be used and discarded. He would not let them be forgotten through a few lines of repeated text offering empty condolences. Their sacrifices meant something and they deserved to be recognized.

I watched him as he moved through the soldiers joining us, his usual commanding presence emanating from him. But despite his seriousness, he spoke with them. Laughed with them. Treated them like people. I watched Barris and Solana do the same amongst their units. I was perhaps the leader of the Battalion in name, but it was Barris and Solana who were leading it.

"But you gave them the tools. Showed them how," Cole's voice spoke from beside me as he appeared, "They look to you. And to Cullen. They watch you more than you realize. Don't doubt yourself."

"I just hope I can lead them true."

"Yes. Hope. Conviction," he murmured, "Good."

Confused, I looked to the boy spirit, but he had vanished. Solana and Barris approached, offering salutes. I nodded.

"We're ready, Lieutenant-Commander," Barris stated.

I looked to Cullen who gave a nod in return before turning to those who'd gathered.

"Inquisition," he called, "We make our way into the mountains in the hope of bringing a blow to our enemy and justice to our loved ones who lay dead because of them. Pray that the Maker is on our side." Hollers sounded in response. "For the Inquisition!"

"For the Inquisition!"

At that, he mounted his new horse. A pinto coated Dalish All-Bred mare. Willow, he'd chosen to call her. Not as fiery as Stomheart had been, but brave. I climbed atop Mouse, Ghilani at her side, and together we marched.