Yo! Uh, sorry about the wait. No lie, I honestly thought the last update was only three or four months ago. Then I saw the update date and saw Feb 2021, and like, wow, how the hell has it already been a whole year since the giant squid lake tour? What the fuck. I'm not done the next chapter, but this popped into my head and it's something similar to what some people have been asking about. Consider it an omake or like an extra or something. Dunno if it's canon or not. We'll see. Thank you to all readers so far!

"Ah, Barty, my most loyal," said Little Voldemort when he spotted the man enter the room. "Come, kneel."

Barty obeyed without a word, as always, and moved to kneel before the chair Little Voldemort was lying in. The hearth behind him was lit, and the flames were hot against his back, being only a couple of feet away, but despite his discomfort, he bowed his head. "My Lord."

"What news do you bring me today, dear Barty?"

"It's Potter, my Lord. He has been doing something strange recently."

"And what has that brat been doing?"

"While I can only guess at his motivations, he's been speaking to nearly everyone in Parseltongue," Barty explained. "Exclusively Parseltongue. He refuses to speak to people in English, and there are only a few exceptions to that."

"I see," said Little Voldemort slowly. "That is a strange thing for him to do, especially as I have heard he dislikes speaking in the wonderous tongue of serpents. Does he speak to you in Parseltongue as well?"

"He does, yes, my Lord," said Barty, "though he is willing to speak to me in English if I ask him to. However, few others get any English from him. I know Snape's been frustrated because Potter refuses to stop speaking to him in Parseltongue, and most others in the castle are in the same boat as him."

Little Voldemort made a thoughtful sound and after a pause, said, "Let me see."

Understanding immediately, Barty nodded. "As you will, my Lord." Raising his head, he made eye contact with Little Voldemort and didn't flinch or even blink when the Dark Lord turned his wand on him.

"Legilimens." Just as Little Voldemort had expected, the correct memories were already at the forefront of Barty's mind, ensuring he didn't have to waste time digging around. That was only one of the reasons Barty was his most loyal.

But what the memories revealed were...well, he wasn't sure there was a word in any of the languages he knew that could describe what he saw, and more importantly, heard.

There were a few different memories, all of them flitting across Barty's mind as he recalled them, and Little Voldemort watched every one of them attentively until he finally came across the last and most recent memory Barty had of Potter.

"Y'know, the longer I look at your face, the weirder it starts looking." Potter was seated at Gryffindor Table in Hogwarts' Great Hall, staring at an older Slytherin student who was standing nearby, staring back at him. "Like...it just looks so...wrong."

The Slytherin student began to scowl, clearly starting to grow frustrated with the incoherent hissing he was hearing. What was he even trying to do? Was he perhaps attempting to intimidate Potter? It didn't seem to be working. The boy didn't look particularly frightened, and nor did he sound it.

Potter was hunched over, arms folded on the table and his head resting in them as he peered at the Slytherin student through crooked glasses, expression rather thoughtful.

Potter snapped his fingers suddenly. "I know! You look like an alien trying to masquerade as a human! Oh man, that's unnerving as hell, but in completely the wrong way!" Then he burst out laughing.

Face turning red, the Slytherin reached out angrily, throwing his entire body forward towards Potter. However, Potter suddenly seemed to spot something over the Slytherin's shoulder, because faster than what was surely possible, he was out of his seat and across the hall, and with too much momentum to stop, the Slytherin ended up with a face full of mashed potatoes and a bruised chin.

Potter didn't seem to notice any of this and left the Great Hall, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he went. He stopped outside the door and looked around. "Huh? I thought I saw Hermione out here..."

He started up the grand staircase, making his way towards the library and then turned the corner, only to walk into something hard. "Ow, fuck!" He stumbled back slightly, caught himself, and looked up. "Oh, ho! Hello Daddy," he muttered with a smirk.

"What in the world are you doing, Potter,?" asked Lucius, who had just come around the corner.

"With any luck, you," said Potter with a rather cheeky grin.

Unsurprisingly, Lucius recognized the Parseltongue for what it was immediately, and his eyes narrowed. "I see. So this is what Draco has been going on about." He looked at Potter closely. "You should be careful, Potter. There aren't many out there who-"

"Blah, blah, blah, yeah, whatever. Can you just turn around? If I have no choice but to look at you, I'd rather it be your best asset. Emphasis on the ass."

For what was surely the first time, Lucius didn't seem intimidated by hearing Parseltongue. "Are you ignoring me, Potter? How brave of you. That is a very-"

"Yep, I'm definitely gonna have to gag you." Looking annoyed, Potter rolled his eyes. "I just wanna poke your butt, not listen to you pontificate at me. Stop being boring."

"This is beginning to-"

"Harry!" Granger came around the corner and stopped short when she saw Lucius. "Oh, hello, Mr Malfoy," she said curtly.

"...Miss Granger."

Potter stiffened. "Don't you even fucking dare!"

Lucius blinked. "It seems you have grown rather hostile by my presence. I suppose that is my cue to depart. Good day." Lucius turned and began to walk away, heading back in the direction he had first come from.

But as soon as this happened, Potter's face filled with pure and utter despair. "No..."

While Potter was still speaking in Parseltongue, his tone was considerably saddened and perhaps noticing that, Granger turned to him. "Harry? What's wrong?"

"He's-he's wearing a cloak..."

Granger frowned. "You know I can't understand you like this, Harry."

But Potter was too caught up in his despair, perhaps even enough that he didn't realize he was still speaking in Parseltongue. "I can't see his butt if he's got a cloak on!"

"Er-Harry?"

"This isn't fair! Damn that man and his sense of fashion."

Little Voldemort pulled himself out of Barty's mind, and Barty bowed his head again immediately. He waited for his lord to say something, but no word was spoken. Yet, while there were no words, there was a sound. A strange sound. A very strange sound that had Barty's head snapping up the instant he heard it.

"My...my Lord...?"

Little Voldemort was laughing. A lot. Loudly. He kept at it for a while as well. Long enough Barty eventually started to worry. He'd never seen the Dark Lord like this before, and it was quickly becoming unsettling.

But why was he reacting like this? Was it due to one of the Potter memories? What could Potter possibly be saying though? What did the Dark Lord find so amusing?

A moment later, however, the laughter stopped. Calming, Little Voldemort looked at Barty and noticed the confusion on his face. He smiled slightly, or at least, as well as he could in this strange, small body he was in. "There is no need to concern yourself, Barty."

"Is Potter planning something, my Lord?" asked Barty.

"Indeed he is," said Little Voldemort, "though it seems it will not affect any of us."

"There is no danger, then?"

"I never said that." Little Voldemort chuckled softly. "Fortunately for us, it appears the only thing in any danger is Lucius' backside."

There was a very long silence. Only the sound of the fire crackling in the hearth could be heard throughout the room. And then, finally, after what was surely many minutes, Barty managed to speak.

"...Excuse me?"

"Did I stutter, Barty?"

"No, my Lord."

"Good. You know I dislike repeating myself."

And when Barty was dismissed a moment or two later, he left the room slowly, still trying to process what he'd heard. Just as he reached the door, he mumbled, "I regret everything."

"We all do, Barty. We all do."

That's it for now. Again, this is more like an extra, and I'm not fully sure if this is fic canon or not. We'll see. Still working on the next chapter, but shit, time's going by way too quickly, so who the fuck knows when it'll actually be up. Anyway, looking forward to reviews! Laterz!