A/N: I was watching Love Actually during the holiday season and was really mulling over Harry and Karen's story and despite loving Alan Rickman, this character is hard to deal with. (Because Hans Gruber is a teddy bear.) I feel like Harry was amazed that someone as sexy as Mia was interested in him, but he was definitely a cad in following that attraction and having an affair.
Anyway, I was thinking about his infidelity and thought it might be fun to write a story about infidelity, but not between Severus and Hermione. Severus, as we know, is the epitome of loyalty, so it wouldn't have been him who cheated, so maybe having someone he was involved with cheat on him was how I should go with this.
As an aside, Karen was a saint for forgiving Harry. At the end of the film things aren't perfect, and I'm sure they're working on it, but she was quite lovely for giving him a second chance. Hopefully, he realized that and kissed her feet for the rest of his life. Jacka*.
This is complete as a oneshot split into two chapters.
Severus did two final stirs to the potion in the cauldron–a specialized Draught of Peace. His stock had been growing low. It was a popular potion in his shop for its calming effects and lack of addictive properties.
He placed his stirring rod beside his cauldron and looked around the back room. He'd been running this Apothecary now for seven years. Once the war had ended and he'd recuperated, he'd bought the location and opened up. He'd expected that most people would avoid a murderer like the plague, but he'd thankfully been wrong.
Moving to the store room, he pulled out a crate of vials. Heading back to his cauldron, he began to fill them with his newly made potion. Just as he finished up, Hermione entered the back room.
"These Wiggenbush plants came in finally. I only had to send three Owls to get them to be shipped!" she told him.
"I appreciate your diligence. I think this place would go under if it weren't for your pestering our suppliers consistently."
She grinned at him. "Finally finished that Peace Draught up? I'm sure Mr. Osborne will be excited to see new stock."
"He always buys ten vials at a time, so yes. We wouldn't be able to fill his order without these."
Hermione placed the box on the stock table in front of where Severus was standing. "I'll get these organized, labeled, and placed in the storeroom." She glanced up at him. "You've been working long hours to get this done. You should head home. I'm sure Suzette will be happy to see you a bit early."
He looked up at her. "Good idea. We've had little time together for the last couple of weeks. With her traveling so much and me busy here in the shop, it's been difficult to find time when we're in the same place at the same time."
Hermione moved over to him and grasped his arm. "Go. I've got everything under control here, Severus. Go spend time with your girlfriend."
Severus huffed. "Yes, ma'am."
He gathered his things and Apparated to his home. Appearing in the sitting room, he found Suzette wasn't there. He headed back to the bedroom, stopping short when he heard a man's voice moaning. His eyebrows knit together.
"Harder!" Suzette demanded in a sing-songy voice.
He knew that voice. She'd used it on him multiple times when they were in the throes of passion.
"Mmm, how's that?" the man's voice asked. That voice sounded familiar.
Severus was frozen outside his bedroom door. Suzette and he had been together for a year now, and he thought she truly cared for him.. They had an understanding that they wouldn't be involved with other people. At least, that had been his understanding.
Anger filled him. She had no bloody right! His hand moved to the door handle, and he burst through into the room. What met his eyes was hard to bear–Lucius Malfoy's naked arse pounding into his girlfriend.
Malfoy–his friend–was fucking his woman–girlfriend–lover–paramour–whatever she was to him. Perhaps she was nothing to him, and he'd been deluding himself?
"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded with a snarl.
Lucius froze over Suzette. His head turned sharply, his face showing the surprise in finding Severus standing next to the bed glowering at him.
"Honey, you're home early," Suzette said tersely.
"I thought perhaps we could have a nice evening together, but you've already made plans, I see. How long has this been going on?"
Lucius heaved himself off of Suzette and covered them both with the sheets.
"Oh, why bother?" Severus asked caustically.
"Severus… calm down!" Lucius said.
"Shut it, Lucius. I was asking Suzette."
Suzette looked over at Lucius, then back at Severus. "Four months," she confessed.
Severus tried to control his temper. Killing both of them wouldn't be amenable to him keeping his shop or being a free man.
"Four months… Four. Months. You've been fucking my best friend for four months? I thought we were dedicated to each other!"
"Oh, baby, we are!"
"Don't 'baby' me! You have just lost the right to call me 'baby' or any other nickname."
Suzette looked at him seriously. "I'm sorry, Severus. We've not spent a whole lot of time together lately. A girl has needs."
"And this isn't something you could have brought up with me?"
She shrugged. "I just took matters into my own hands. I mean… Lucius is so fine, and he's a fantastic lover… Not that you're not…"
His wand was out and pointing at them both. "You bloody harlot." He looked at Lucius. "And you, how do you excuse this?"
Lucius shrugged. "Sorry, mate. I just thought that what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine."
The hex left Severus' wand and surrounded both Suzette and Lucius. They both cried out and curled up in pain.
"Get out, Lucius. If I ever see you again, it will be too soon. Our friendship is over."
Lucius struggled to get up, still bent over in pain. He grabbed his clothing and Disapparated away. Severus put his wand away and sighed. He sat on the bed and looked at Suzette. His anger was overcome by an intense grief.
"Why?" he asked plaintively.
She shrugged and looked down. "I don't know. There's just been something missing between us."
He turned toward her. "Then why didn't you say something? Am I supposed to use Legilimency to make sure that everything is okay between the two of us?"
"Of course not. I just didn't know what to say."
"I thought you cared about me," he growled, trying not to let the hurt seep into his voice.
"I did. I just…"
"You don't care anymore," he finished.
"It's not that I don't care, I just…"
"Did you ever? I mean did you ever really care? Did you truly want to be with me?"
She looked down again. "I did, Severus, but I think you always cared more than I did."
"I see."
Her head snapped up, and she looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't love you like you want me to."
"You know, that's okay. It's fine if you don't love me. It's fine if you don't really care for me. But to go behind my back and fuck my best friend! Why Suzette? It's like you're trying to hurt me even worse."
She opened her mouth to respond but closed it quickly. Looking away, she finally spoke. "We spend a lot of time with Lucius. He's been a good friend to both of us. The more time we spent together, our attraction naturally grew out of that friendship."
Severus' lips thinned as he looked at her. "You know, usually when you're involved with someone, you avoid getting close to other men."
"I know, Severus! I know! I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it! He's so handsome and suave and…"
"Stop! I don't want to hear how wonderful Lucius Malfoy is!" He studied her for a minute. "Is there nothing you find attractive in me?"
She shrugged and smiled ruefully at him. "I mean–you're not awful to look at."
"That's it? Nothing more?"
"Not… not really."
"So, it's just always been about the sex."
She nodded, then grimaced. "I'm sorry."
He stood abruptly and glowered at her. "I will leave for an hour. I expect you to have gathered your things and left by the time I return. I never want to see or hear from you again. Is that clear?" he said quietly.
"Yes, Severus."
He turned and stalked out of the room.
"Severus!" she called after him. He stopped for a second. "I'm sorry."
Ignoring her, he stormed out of his flat and Disapparated away.
ooo
Severus poured another shot of Firewhiskey. His fifth so far. When he'd left his flat he'd gone to a liquor store and bought a couple of bottles. Now back home, he was set for the evening. Suzette was gone. He'd made sure she'd left before he settled in to drink himself into oblivion. He toasted the air.
"To my fucking horrible life. I can't even keep a woman. She evidently can't be satisfied with just me. She needs to fuck my best friend… Former best friend." He took a swig. "I don't know why I thought she'd cared for me. No one really cares for me."
The alcohol was starting to affect him. He downed the shot and tossed the glass to the side, picking up the bottle and just drinking straight from it. He should have just started that way. Stumbling to his feet, he headed back to his bedroom. His–not theirs. He looked around. It seemed quite a bit emptier without all of her things.
Wandering to the bathroom, he noted all of her stuff was gone. She had taken over their bathroom with all of her beauty items. Now, it was barren. Turning back he looked around at his empty room.
"Fucking year of my life wasted. Bloody wasted."
He wandered over to the side of his bed. Picking up the lamp on the bedside table, he threw it against the wall.
"I'm so bloody tired of being used!" he yelled at the shattered lamp. "Why can't anything ever work out for me? Why must I always end up being miserable?"
He snarled as he threw the book that had been next to his lamp. "Used by every bloody person I've ever cared about."
Tilting the bottle of Firewhiskey, he took another swig, stumbling some as he leaned his head back to drink more.
The room is spinning more than usual, he thought. Sitting down hard on the bed, he took another swig and fell back onto the mattress, the bottle landing next to him and spilling the rest of its contents.
"Bloody shrew…" he muttered before he passed out.
ooo
Hermione entered the shop with the usual two orders of tea for Severus and herself. She set down his cup. He frowned and grabbed it, moving to the back of the shop with it. She looked after him with concern. Following him, she moved up to him.
"Everything all right?" she asked.
He glared at her and said nothing.
"O… Kay," Hermione said. Turning, she left Severus to himself. She moved back out to the front of the shop and settled behind the register, placing her tea next to it. She pulled a carton of vials from underneath the counter. She'd been putting these out on the shelf when the store closed the day before. She moved over to the restorative draughts and began to stock the shelves, worrying about what was wrong with Severus.
Whenever he was upset about something, he stewed about it for hours before ever telling her what was up. Sometimes he didn't tell her anything, just stalked around the store banging things. She could hear him doing just that in the back right now.
She hoped she hadn't done something to upset him. She couldn't think of anything, but she couldn't be sure.
After a bit, she'd finished stocking the potions and moved back behind the counter again. Pulling out a ledger, she began to work through what they'd made the day before. She worked at balancing the ledger–no one came in to disturb her.
She'd been working for a while when Severus stalked past her with a box of vials. Moving to the Sleep aids, he started restocking those. Hermione watched him for a second, then went back to her books. She covertly kept her eye on him. His back was tense, and he was banging the vials down on the shelves harder than necessary. She was worried about him, but she didn't know what to do. Obviously, whatever was wrong, he didn't want to talk about it.
The door opened and in walked Lucius Malfoy.
"Hi, Lucius!" Hermione greeted.
Severus' head snapped over to where Lucius was standing. His eyes narrowed at him.
"Why are you here after everything?"
"Severus, I came to apologize."
"Apologize? You came to apologize. What were you going to say? Sorry, Severus, I couldn't help myself. I had to fuck your girlfriend?"
Hermione gasped, then shut her mouth quickly, clapping her hand over it.
"I see you're going to be surly about this. Typical of you," Lucius replied in a bored tone.
Severus stormed up to him, his hands formed into fists. "I am not the bad guy here. Get out. As far as I'm concerned, our friendship is over. You broke my trust in a way that is unforgiveable."
"I'm sorry! I didn't think you would be so upset. Suzette said you were in an open relationship."
Severus' wand was pointing at Lucius' throat. "You know me better than that. Don't lie to me. Now, leave. Enjoy your life and my ex."
Lucius put his hands up in surrender. He backed away from Severus. Without turning, he reached for the door and left, Apparating as soon as he'd closed the door behind him.
Severus sheathed his wand, continuing to glower at the door. Finally, he turned and stalked past Hermione back into the lab.
She followed him to the back room tentatively. He held his hand up to stop her.
"I do not want to talk about this."
"Okay. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am, Severus. You deserve so much better than that."
Severus lifted his head and stared straight ahead. He slowly put his hand down. At long last, he turned his head toward her.
"Thank you," he said simply.
Turning, she left him to himself. It was a slow day, and the shop was empty again. Hermione took the time to fume about what she'd heard.
ooo
Hermione was busy for a while as customers came in and out of the shop. When there was a lull, she noticed Severus had come up front. He was placing some Pepper Up on the shelf. When he was finished, he turned toward Hermione.
"I am leaving for the day. My mind is not on my work, and I fear I'm going to blow up the shop."
Hermione came up to him. "I understand, Severus. Take the time you need."
Her arms surrounded him, and she hugged him tightly. He stiffened but then relaxed into her hug. She pulled back after a bit.
"I'm sorry," she told him. "I can hunt them down and hex them if you'd like."
Severus smirked at her, but it didn't last long. Dissolving into a frown, he nodded at her before turning and leaving the shop.
Hermione blinked back tears. Her heart broke for him.
ooo
He'd been gone for three days without a word. Hermione could handle running the shop without him, and she was able to brew most of the potions when they were out, but she was worried. It was unlike him to not even send an Owl to check on her.
She waited till midday before grabbing a quill and scribbling out a note to him.
Severus,
Just checking in. Do you know when you'll be coming back to work? I'm here if you want to chat.
~H
She attached the note to the owl and sent it off to deliver to Severus. Then she waited. She waited for the rest of the day, but no return note. She shrugged. He wasn't one to reply if he didn't want to.
The day ended, and she closed up shop, thinking about Severus, and hoping he was okay.
ooo
By the end of the next day, she was almost frantic. No, he hadn't replied, and he was probably just fine, but her mind had gone crazy thinking about situations where Severus was NOT fine. What if he'd done something terrible?
She locked up the shop and did what she'd promised herself not to do. She'd wanted to leave him alone so he could sort himself out, but she needed to assuage her fears because if she ignored them and something had happened to him, she'd never forgive herself.
She Apparated to his flat and knocked on the door. After a minute, she knocked again. Waving her wand over the door, she cast a locator spell. Severus was definitely inside.
She bit her lip, not knowing if he was just ignoring the door, or if he was in trouble. Waiting another minute before she did anything else, she gave up and tapped her wand on the doorknob, dropping the wards and unlocking the door. He'd keyed the wards to her a while ago in case she needed to get into his flat for something for the shop.
She gained entry and opened the door. She saw Severus in the distance sprawled out on the sofa. She rushed up to him, her heart beating fast, and checked his pulse.
Sighing in relief, she found he was just asleep. Her fingers on his neck must have awakened him somewhat as he groaned and moved his head slightly. His eyes cracked open. Recognizing his employee, he opened his eyes wider.
"Her… mione."
She could smell the alcohol on his breath from where she stood. Frowning, she looked at him.
"You're drunk."
"Damn straight," he replied.
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "I've been worried sick about you. You haven't answered my owl and you've been gone for four days!"
"Ssssorry," he drawled. "Was busy."
"Busy? Getting drunk? You call that busy? I was scared, Severus!"
He lifted his hand to stop her tirade. "Don' worry 'bout me. I'm fine."
She knelt down beside the sofa and looked at him with concern. "You're not fine, though." Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a vial of yellow liquid and offered it to him. "Sober-up," she explained.
He shook his head. "Don't want to sober up. Then I start thinking, and then I start feeling, and I don't want to feel—anything."
Hermione reached out and grasped his arm, gently squeezing it. "Please, Severus. You've been keeping everything in since it happened, and I respect that, but maybe it would help you to talk about it. You need to be sober to do that."
He frowned at her, his eyes narrowing. "Don't want to talk!"
"Okay, but please take this."
He regarded the vial before swiping it out of her hands. "Fine, but I'll just get drunk again once you're gone." He downed the potion, and it slowly took effect. His eyes strayed up to Hermione's and he winced.
"You should go," he told her as he sat up abruptly.
"I'm not leaving you. You need a friend right now."
He looked down his nose at her. "I'd rather be alone."
"Well, sometimes you just don't know what's best for you. You like to punish yourself too much, Severus Snape."
He stared at her as she got off the floor and sat down beside him on the sofa. She turned and rested against the arm of the chair and put her leg up, bending it in front of her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He signed and looked away. "Not really."
"Do you think maybe it would help at all?" she asked softly.
"I don't see how."
She shrugged. "Sometimes talking about it helps to put it into perspective."
He kept staring at the wall, avoiding looking at her. It took him a while, but his shoulders finally sagged and he turned back toward her, frowning. "All right," he acquiesced.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, Severus. I just want you to feel better."
"I'm not usually one to air my secrets to anyone, but you may be right about discussing it."
"I'm here to help," she offered. "Say what you want about it."
He grimaced. "I don't think I've ever felt so betrayed in my life." He looked at her, rage in his eyes. "My best friend. How could he do this to me? And his bloody excuse… thinking we were in an open relationship."
"Sounds like Suzette told him that."
His eyes narrowed at her. "He knows me. He should know I don't do things by halves. An open relationship?" he gesticulated toward himself. "Do you see me as someone who would be amenable to an open relationship?" he ground out.
"I think anyone who knows you knows you're incredibly loyal and wouldn't be interested in sharing a relationship with a third."
"Exactly!" he said as his hands flew up in frustration. "Why would I ever agree to such nonsense?"
"He should have known that."
"I'm sure he did know that. He just didn't give a damn. He wanted something, so he took it. To hell with friendship and loyalty. Lucius Malfoy always gets what he wants."
Hermione frowned. "It was a nasty thing to do."
"Right." He sat and fumed. Hermione regarded him carefully.
"What about Suzette?"
"What about her?" he asked.
"She cheated on you."
Severus was silent for a while. "I haven't let myself think about that yet. I've been furious about Lucius and drowning my sorrows about him in Firewhiskey."
Hermione reached out and grasped his hand. "How do you feel about her?"
He closed his eyes and grimaced. Opening his mouth, he tried to say something, but couldn't bring himself to speak.
"It's okay, Severus. Say how you feel. You're not going to upset me."
He stood and began to pace. "I trusted her. I gave her my heart. I thought she cared about me. I thought…" He stopped moving and just stared at the window. "Is there no one who can care for me completely?"
Hermione blinked back tears as she rose and moved up to him. She embraced him, resting her head on his chest.
"Of course there is, Severus. This was just one person who obviously was very selfish."
His arms went around her, and he gasped. "It's everyone, Hermione. Everyone just tolerates me. I thought she was different. I thought she cared. How could she do this?"
Hermione squeezed him harder. "I don't know, Severus. I never understood cheating. It makes no sense to me. Why didn't she just break it off with you?"
He pulled back from her, and she released him from her embrace. "I don't know. She said she didn't want to hurt me. I think that simply breaking up with me before she found someone else would have hurt less than this does."
Hermione nodded. "I'm sure you're right." She frowned at him. "Give yourself some time, Severus. Of course, this hurts like hell now, but it will get easier, I promise."
"Should I hold you to that?" he said with a frown.
She pointed her finger at him. "Yes!"
He sighed and looked away. "I'll have to take your word for it."
"What can I do to make this easier?"
He stared out the window for a bit before replying. "Be patient with me."
She opened her mouth to say something, but he held up his hand as he looked over at her. "I will stop drinking, I promise. I don't really like that feeling, to be honest, it just felt better than this for a little bit."
"If you need to talk, just reach out. I'm here for you, Severus. You're more than just my employer, you're my friend, and I hate to see you hurting like this."
Hermione could have sworn Severus blushed.
"Thank you, Hermione. Talking it out did help some."
"All right. I'll leave you be. Will you be in tomorrow?"
He nodded. "I think work will help me take my mind off all of this, so yes."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
ooo
Severus entered the shop and nodded at Hermione. Hanging his cloak on the coat rack, he moved into the back of the store. Hermione watched him as she debated speaking with him. She assumed he would say something to her if he wanted to.
Unfortunately, some things were impossible for her to leave alone. Shaking her head at herself, she ignored her reticence and moved to the back of the shop.
"How are you feeling?" she asked him.
His eyes strayed to her. "I have been better, but I have improved since yesterday."
She smiled ruefully at him. "Well, that's a first step, right?"
He nodded.
"Can I make a tea run? Would you like some?"
He looked back up at her. "Actually, coffee would be welcome if you don't mind. And a scone too."
She grinned happily at him. "I'll be back shortly."
Heading out front, she grabbed her cloak and purse and headed out to the coffee shop on the corner. It didn't take her long to have coffee for Severus and a steaming cup of tea for herself. She came back in and set the hot drinks and pastries on the back table.
"Do you have a minute to have this now?" she asked as she noted Severus stirring a cauldron.
He pulled the stirrer from the brew and laid it next to the cauldron. He meandered over to Hermione.
"I have a few minutes." He settled in the seat across from her. They quietly ate their scones and sipped their drinks. "I tossed the rest of my Firewhiskey," he admitted. "I figure not having any alcohol in the house for a bit would be a good deterrent."
Hermione nodded. "That's a good idea."
"I apologize for being in such a state when you came by. I am embarrassed that you saw me like that."
"Severus…" She eyed him seriously. "Please don't feel bad. You had every right to drown your sorrows the way you did. You were betrayed by the people you hold most dear. There's a special place in hell for people like that."
He arched a brow at her. "Miss Granger, you do have a nasty streak, don't you?"
She straightened. "When it comes to my friends and those who hurt them, you're damned right."
He grinned and toasted her with his coffee. She grabbed her tea and did the same. "They may find themselves with an unexplainable case of dragon pox or some other malady."
"You wouldn't."
"You know I would."
He chuckled. "I suppose I do. Thank you for the sentiment, but please do nothing. I would hate it if you were found out and punished in any way. It would be lovely to see them suffer like that, but it's just not worth the possible repercussions."
"Severus, you've been a spy most of your life. You know there are ways to do things like that, yet be invisible."
"I do. And I don't doubt you do as well, but like I said, it's not worth it. Let them have their bloody relationship. May they be miserable together for the rest of their lives."
"Narcissa was smart to get out of that relationship after the war. Lucius is a foul, entitled arse. Suzette will realize that eventually."
He shrugged. "I don't care if she ever realizes it or not. We are done. She can live her life as she sees fit, and I hope she's miserable."
Hermione grinned. Lifting her tea, she said another toast. "To arseholes who get what they deserve."
"Here, here," Severus agreed as he tipped his cup to hers in agreement.
Chapter 2
Two months had passed, and Severus had mostly healed. Hermione had been as supportive as she could be. She was happy he wasn't so morose all the time.
"Severus?"
He looked up from the vials he was filling. "Yes?"
"I was going to get dinner at the Leaky tonight. Would you like to come with?"
"Seeing that I'm starving, yes, I would love to."
She smiled at him. "Brilliant."
ooo
They were soon ensconced at a back table at the Leaky–Severus' preference, and sharing a prawn cocktail appetizer–Hermione's choice.
"Did you see Smith's face when I told him there were no more vials of Pepper up?" Hermione asked.
Severus chuckled. "You'd think the end of the world had come."
"He cleaned out the whole shelf, what did he expect? There must have been thirty-five vials on that shelf!"
Severus nodded. "Forty, actually. I'd just restocked. He'll have to control himself until I can brew some more tomorrow. Such an old coot."
"Then there's Mrs. Marshall. I think she just comes in to see you," Hermione said.
"She does seem rather motherly whenever she comes in."
Hermione chuckled. "And that chicken soup she brought in last month when she thought you had a cold."
He looked at her seriously. "It was delicious."
She gave him a coy look. "It was good, but my chicken soup is much better."
"Is it now?"
She nodded with a grin. "My mum's secret recipe. It's fabulous."
"Perhaps you can make me some sometime. We can compare and see who made the best."
"I'll bring some Wednesday for lunch for us."
ooo
Severus took a spoonful of the soup and turned it left and right. "Nice clear broth… veg looks well cooked."
"Oh for Merlin's sake, just taste it! It's not fine wine."
He smirked and popped the spoonful in his mouth. In that instant, Hermione felt a chill go through her. She watched him chew the noodles and veg and swallow and came to the conclusion that she fancied Severus Snape something awful. How had she missed that little tidbit of information before?
"It's very good." He regarded her thoughtfully. "But is it better than Mrs. Marshall's?"
She arched a brow at him, just daring him to say that it wasn't.
"I get the feeling that my decision will determine my life expectancy," he murmured.
She gave him a nonchalant look. "Perhaps."
"Well, I can honestly say that I do like this soup better. It's quite delicious. What's that in there?"
She smiled at him. "It's parsley."
"Yes, I tasted that, but there's something else." He took another spoonful and savored it. His eyes met hers. "It's rosemary, isn't it?"
She nodded happily. "Yes, that was my mum's secret. She always put a pinch of rosemary in the stock."
"It's delicious." He took another bite. "Thank you for making this for us."
She ate some as well. "You're welcome."
A little while later she meandered to the front. A customer came in, and she helped them pick a hair tonic, but then the store was empty. She was glad for that because she needed to process the realization she'd just come to about Severus.
She shook her head at herself. How could she fancy him? He was still getting over a serious relationship with someone who had broken his heart.
Maybe it was because she was a fixer. And she knew that she wanted to see Severus happy. But she wasn't just fancying him to fix him. Hardly. She found him fascinating, caring, loyal, handsome…
She knew most people wouldn't necessarily consider him handsome, but she loved his looks. She had a thing for noses, and his was exquisite. She chewed on her lip, not really sure what to do about this new development.
Severus came up front at that moment with a box of several potions to restock the shelves.
"Do you need some help?" she asked.
"No, I'm fine," he told her.
She nodded and reached for the ledger under the counter. She needed to do the books today. She'd let them go for a week, and she hated it when she got behind. Opening the ledger, she eyed Severus from under her brow.
Yep, he was handsome.
She admired the way his nose curved and how the deep black of his hair contrasted with his white shirt. His hands were firm yet delicate. She imagined him caressing her with them.
She cringed. She was going way overboard. but her heart fluttered as she looked at him. She needed to think about this and think hard.
"Severus?"
He looked back at her. "Yes?"
"Would you mind if I left early today? I'll bring the ledger and run the books at home and come in early tomorrow."
"Are you okay?"
"I am, I just need to go home and take care of something I forgot about."
Severus shrugged. "Go ahead. No need to come in early tomorrow, but I would appreciate it if you got the books done tonight."
She closed the ledger and hugged it to herself. "Thank you, Severus. I'll be sure to have everything in order when I get here in the morning."
"Have a good night, Hermione."
She nodded at him as she went through the Floo to her flat. Throwing herself on the sofa, she shook her head. Starting a fire, she just stared at it for a while.
She fancied Severus… How on earth did that happen?
She knew how it happened. She'd always admired him. It wasn't a far stretch to see her become attracted to him. It came upon her so suddenly, though.
Of course, with him dating Suzette she would have never let herself fall for him, but now he was available, and she was recognizing all of his good qualities.
Well, there was nothing for it. She fancied him. So what was she going to do about it? Was Severus even over Suzette?
"I guess I'll need to find out, and what better way than to flirt with him?" she mused to herself quietly. "But what if it destroys our friendship and working relationship?"
She shook her head. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If he wasn't interested, she'd just deal with it.
She spent the next little bit coming up with ways she could let Severus know she was interested. Finally cracking her ledger open, she spent the rest of the afternoon budgeting.
ooo
"Good morning!" Hermione said cheerfully as she came into the back of the shop with a cup of tea from the local coffee shop. She placed it on the table next to Severus.
"Morning," he mumbled.
"You look handsome this morning."
His eyes strayed to her, and he gave her a withering look. "What are you on about?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I just love how your white shirt accents your black hair." She hesitated as her eyes raked over him. "Is that a new suit coat?"
He unbuttoned it and laid it on the table after removing it. "Maybe. I didn't think you'd notice."
"Of course I did! It really makes you look very handsome. It's lovely."
He eyed her. "What do you want? Do we need to order extra supplies or something?"
She chuckled. "I don't want anything. I just think you look nice today."
"Thank you," he muttered warily.
She reached out and squeezed his arm. "It's ok if you look handsome, Severus."
He spluttered and looked down at the table, quickly grabbing a jar of lacewing flies and moving to prepare them for use. Hermione turned and moved up to the front of the shop, leaving Severus to stare after her curiously.
She spent the next week complimenting him, smiling coyly, and flirting. She wandered into the back late Friday and watched him brewing. She loved watching his intensity when he was creating something. It was intoxicating.
Severus looked up from his cauldron and arched a brow at her. "Yes?"
"You're awfully sexy when you're brewing," she said.
He placed his stirrer on the table next to the cauldron. "Hermione…"
"Yes?"
"What's going on?"
She smirked at him. "Go to dinner with me after work, Severus."
"Are you asking me on a date?" he asked with some skepticism.
She nodded and smiled.
"Why? We're colleagues. We shouldn't be dating."
He lifted the cauldron and pulled it off the fire, setting it on the table next to him. "It's not appropriate."
"We haven't set any rules about dating, Severus. Do you want me to quit so we can date?"
"No! I just… Dating could ruin our working relationship."
"Or enhance it," she countered.
"I had no idea until this week that you even had an interest in me."
"It came along slowly, but my feelings are real."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"No, I will not go on a date with you, Hermione."
She frowned. "Why not?"
"Just no."
He stalked past her and out of the shop. She stared after him in puzzlement, her frown growing deeper. She went back to the front of the store and worried her lip as she wondered why Severus had run out like he had.
After about 20 minutes, Severus returned, flipping the open sign to 'closed' as he locked the door behind him. He came up to Hermione, frowning.
"I apologize for leaving so abruptly."
She nodded.
"I just… I don't want to date you, and I didn't want to see you upset."
"Why don't you want to date me? Do you not find me attractive?"
He sighed. "I find you very attractive."
"Then what is it?"
His eyes met hers. "After what happened with Suzette, I promised myself I would never date again."
"But you were upset, and rightfully so. Can't you reconsider dating?"
He blanched. "I don't want to."
"Why ever not? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?"
"Yes. Relationships are too difficult. I don't want to deal with that kind of pain again."
"Severus," she said softly.
His lips thinned, and he shifted his stance from foot to foot.
"You deserve to be happy, you know," she told him.
"I'm happier when I'm not involved with someone." He looked down. "Lily was a disaster, Suzette was even worse. Anyone else I've dated was just interested in being seen with me…"
"But that's not why I want to date you."
Looking back up at her, he gave her a curious look. "Then why do you want to date me?"
Her hand went to her chest, and she grasped her robes lightly. "My heart belongs to you. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I'm incredibly attracted to you. You're faithful, loyal, caring, and I enjoy spending time with you."
He turned and moved to the window, staring out of it. She approached him cautiously. "If you don't find me attractive or someone you want to be with, I get that."
He turned suddenly. "But I do find you attractive. And I can see being with you, I just…"
She shrugged. "Then why can't we give this a chance?"
His eyes searched hers. He moved in cautiously and met her lips, giving her a soft, sultry kiss. Pulling back abruptly, he frowned.
"No. I won't lose you. I can't do this, Hermione. I won't do this."
He backed away from her, then turned and fled the shop again. Hermione blinked back tears as she watched him escape from her. Taking her finger, she circled her lips where he'd kissed her so wonderfully. She closed her eyes and sighed.
He seemed to be as attracted to her as she was to him. He just couldn't get past what had happened with Suzette. Her shoulders fell. She couldn't blame him. He'd thought they were serious about one another, and he'd been horribly wrong.
How could she convince him that she wasn't the type to cheat? That once she decided on someone, she was loyal to the end?
ooo
The next day she purposefully came in later than Severus. Moving to the back room, she extended a yellow rose to him.
"I just want you to know that our friendship comes first, Severus."
He reached out and took the flower, staring down at it.
"Thank you," he murmured.
She leaned in and looked up at him. "So, we're good?"
His eyes met hers and he nodded. "Yes, of course."
She nodded. "Coffee or tea this morning?"
He smirked at her. "Coffee, please."
"Brilliant. I'll be back in a few minutes."
She left and walked to the coffee shop, thankful that things had smoothed out between them. She was reluctant to move forward with any romantic ovations to him. She didn't want him to withdraw and not communicate with her. That would make work unbearable and force her to probably leave.
But deep down, she really wanted something with him. She'd need to go slowly. Give him time to see that she was loyal and wouldn't hurt him like Suzette had. Anger filled her at how callous the other woman had been to him. She was almost tempted to find her and put some shrinking solution in her tea. With the right additive, her breasts would shrivel up into two prunes. It would serve her right to have her body become so ugly that Lucius Malfoy would cast her away like the trash she was.
Returning to the shop with two cups of coffee, she gave Severus his and sat down in front of the table he was working at.
"What's on the agenda today?" she asked.
"Pepper up. Seems we always need that. We're also low on sleeping draught and hair tonic."
"Do you need any help with brewing?"
"No, I think I'll be fine. I would like you to check the order that's supposed to be delivered today when it comes. I think we over-ordered the scarab beetle carcasses."
"I'll check it when it gets here. Should be around noon."
"Brilliant. And if you'd make sure we are going to have enough supplies for the upcoming cold season. As I said, Pepper Up is already scarce. Let's make sure we have enough to brew anything that people use for cold relief."
She nodded as she sipped her coffee. "I'll make sure we're ready. Ugh, last year was insane."
"Indeed, which is why we need to be ready."
"Understood."
She rose. "Okay, I'll get everything up front looking spic and span too. It's been a bit since I've dusted the shelves."
"Thank you, Hermione."
She smiled at him before turning and moving up front.
Some time later, Severus came up front with the Pepper Up. He nodded at the three people in the shop as he went to the back wall to restock. Once he was done, he waited for the last patron to leave before approaching Hermione.
"Hermione… I wanted you to know… it's not you."
"Pardon?"
"It's not that I'm not attracted to you. I just… I can't."
She smiled brittlely at him. "Thank you for reconfirming that. I felt that's what you were conveying yesterday."
"You're lovely and brilliant, and… well, anyone would be lucky to be involved with you."
She leaned in. "Then why don't you take a chance, Severus Snape?"
"I–"
She straightened. "It's okay. Well, no it's not, but I understand. I won't press you about it anymore, but I'd ask you to reconsider over the next couple of weeks. I'm not Suzette. I would never cheat on you, Severus. I would never treat you so awfully. I'm loyal. You know that about me. Please, just think about it." She regarded him carefully. "That's the last you'll hear me speak of this."
He nodded, deep in thought. He absently moved back to the back room, leaving her to herself. She frowned. It had not been what she wanted to say, but it was what he needed to hear. She wanted him to see her for who she was, not who he was afraid she'd turn out to be.
Glancing in the back, she saw him sitting at his table, seemingly deep in thought. She hoped he could come to a place where he'd be willing to give her a chance.
ooo
A month passed. Hermione never said anything more about her attraction to Severus, but that didn't mean it just went away. It had actually deepend. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted to be in a relationship with him.
He never said anything more of it either, so she could only surmise that he wouldn't move forward with anything between the two of them. Unfortunately, her interest in Severus had deepened so much that she was going to ask him to find a replacement for her. Seeing him every day was becoming painful.
She waited until the end of the day to talk to him about it.
"Severus?"
He looked up from his desk, where he was making a list of items needing replenishing. "Yes, Hermione?"
She pulled up a chair and sat down in front of the desk. "I need to talk to you about something."
He gave her a worried look. "Go on."
"I–" she pursed her lips and looked away.
"What is it, Hermione?"
Turning back to him, she sighed. "I want to apologize. I said this wouldn't interfere with our friendship, but it has."
"What has? What are you talking about?"
"My attraction to you. It's only grown deeper. I've fallen in love with you. I can't… I can't work here anymore, Severus. If you want, I'll continue to do your bookkeeping, but from home. Please find someone to take my place up front." She straightened with determination at her ask.
"You're quitting."
"I just–this is too hard–seeing you every day. I'm sorry. I tried to control my interest in you, but it just keeps growing and growing." She stood. "I'm sorry," she said again.
"I see." He stiffened. "I'll have a replacement as soon as possible. Just… don't bother coming in anymore. I can run the front until I find someone."
"Do you want me to do the books?"
His eyebrows knit together. He didn't have to think long about it. "No. I'll just train the new hire to do them."
"Okay," she said quietly, trying not to break down. "I guess I'll see you around."
"I guess."
She turned and fled. Apparating as soon as she left the shop, she appeared in her flat and crashed down onto the ground, letting the sobs she'd been struggling to keep at bay escape her.
That had been so hard for her to do, and he'd been so cold-as if he didn't care if she worked there or not. Had their friendship and her working with him meant nothing to him?
"Oh Merlin," she cried. "I'm never going to see him again!" She buried her head in her hands and sobbed. Fighting to control herself, she willed the tears away. Wiping her eyes after a while, she looked up.
"I'm okay. I'm okay. I can do this. I can live without seeing him anymore. It will help me to forget all of this."
Taking some deep breaths, she calmed herself down. Getting up, she sat down in her reading chair, started a fire, and pretended to read for the rest of the evening.
ooo
Two weeks had passed. Hermione had some reserve savings, so she hadn't started looking for a job yet. She'd spent a lot of time with Harry and Ron's families, just relaxing and getting her head in a decent place. She was going to head over to the Ministry and speak with Kingsley in the morning to see what positions she might qualify for.
She was at home now, preparing a late dinner of homemade beef stroganoff. The noodles were just done, and she took them over to the sink and poured them into the colander. Shaking the rest of the water off them, she brought them back to the stove and dumped them into the stroganoff pot. Stirring the entire dish, she gave it a taste.
"Mmm. Perfect," she muttered to herself.
There was a knock at the door. She looked over at it curiously. She wasn't expecting anyone. Heading over to the door, she opened it and was surprised to see Severus standing there looking miserable. He held out a single red rose to her.
"May I come in?" he asked tentatively.
Taking the rose, she stared down at it, not saying anything as her mind went into overdrive as to what this sudden appearance could possibly mean.
"Hermione?"
She startled and looked up at him. "Oh, of course," she stuttered, moving aside to let him through.
He came in and stopped in front of the sofa. "May I sit?"
She nodded and took the seat across from him. Looking down at the rose, her eyebrows knit together.
"Why are you here, Severus?"
He cleared his throat, looking extremely nervous. "I wanted to apologize, Hermione. I was cold to you when you left the shop. I felt blindsided. I didn't know how to react or what exactly to say. I clammed up and just gave the bare minimum of replies. I know it seemed like I didn't care that you quit, but that wasn't the case at all. I'm sorry, Hermione. Please forgive me."
She looked up from the rose. "The way you acted. It felt like our friendship meant nothing to you."
He looked down at the floor. "I know that's how it seemed, but that's definitely not the case. Hermione, you are my best friend. I am so sorry that I made it seem like I didn't care."
She sniffed. "So why did it take you two weeks to come by and apologize."
"Pride. Foolishness." His eyes met her. "Merlin, Hermione, I've missed you."
She stiffened.
"I've missed you too," she finally admitted.
He turned red as he looked at her. "Hermione… not seeing you every day–it made me think. Made me see that I made a terrible mistake in letting you walk out the door that day."
"I can't work with you, Severus. I can't put myself in that position again."
"No, you don't understand." He looked away for a moment, gathering his thoughts. His eyes met hers again. "Being without you day after day made me realize something. Every day was empty. I felt like nothing I did made a difference. I realized that you bring the light into my existence, Hermione." He hesitated for a moment. "Are you really in love with me?" he asked.
She frowned as she looked at him. Really looked at him. Yes, she was totally pissed that he'd acted the way he had, but it didn't negate how she felt for him.
"Yes," she replied simply. "I am in love with you."
He sighed. "Good. Because with your absence, I realized that I'm in love with you, too. Seeing you every day, I took it for granted that you would always be there. That we would always be–well, status quo for lack of a better phrase. But with you gone–my life was empty. A waste. Hermione, I love you, and I don't want to be without you anymore. Please forgive me for being a dolt and come back to me."
She swallowed hard. "You love me?"
He nodded. Rising, she moved next to him on the sofa. He grasped her hand.
"And you want to have a relationship?" she asked.
Swallowing hard, he nodded again. "Very much so."
"You were fearful of doing so before. You're not worried?"
"Hermione, I think I will always be worried, but I can't live without you. These last two weeks have more than demonstrated that." He lifted his finger, silently asking her to hold of on speaking. "I know I said I never wanted to be vulnerable again, but I'd rather be vulnerable than miserable like I've been without you."
Leaning in, her lips met his in the sweetest of kisses. He groaned as he pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her hair. She moaned into him, enjoying him fully. When they finally pulled apart, she looked at him carefully.
"You're sure about this?"
"About loving you?" he asked. "Absolutely positive."
"About being together," she said with a huff.
He pulled her close and rested his forehead on hers. "I'm even more sure of that."
The End