Shadows of the Past
Chapter 9
Whatever Edna felt about the mysterious letter-sending, she said nothing about it in the morning. For Kaidan, it was just one more thing to brood about. He halfway joked to himself that he was the care-taker for all the things that upset the Dragonborn, so she could focus on more important issues. It was only half a joke.
For the next several weeks, though, he found he had very little time to brood on inconsequential things, as Edna threw herself into trying to become stronger – not in terms of her own physical strength, but with respect to learning as many Shouts as she could find, and working harder on her weapon mastery. She was already quite accomplished with sword and shield. Amren was able to teach her a few more techniques from a Redguard viewpoint, but there was no one willing to teach her about shield defense until she joined the Companions.
This reunited Kaidan with a few members with whom he had traveled and done bounty missions before he'd met Edna. The wolf twins were understandably, at first, doubtful that an old woman of fifty-plus had what it took to become a Companion. But Kodlak had seen something in the elder Imperial before him and requested Vilkas 'test her arm.'
Kaidan thoroughly enjoyed seeing the younger Nord 'taken to school,' as Edna called it. At first Vilkas went easy on her, but after the second, third and fourth successful hit, he doubled down and tried to get through her defenses with his greatsword, only to come up against her shield wall for a fifth and final time. He called for her to halt.
"Not bad," he allowed, wincing in spite of not wanting to. "Next time won't be so easy." He gave her a long look, up and down, and Kaidan grinned as he could almost hear Vilkas say to himself, Who is this woman? But aloud he only continued, "You might just make it. But for now, you're still a whelp to us, new blood. So you do what we tell you." He handed Edna his sword and told to her take it up to Eorlund Gray-Mane, the smith at the top of the hill who worked the Skyforge. When she left, a knowing smile playing about her lips, Vilkas turned to Kaidan.
"Where did you dig that one up, Sweetroll?"
"She's practically a draugr!" Athis laughed.
Kaidan wheeled on the Dunmer. "Watch your mouth, Athis. That's the Dragonborn you're talking about, and I will not hear one word against her!"
Athis' eyes widened. "Dragonborn?" he scoffed. "Then why is she here?"
"Why do you think?" Kaidan scowled. "To get strong enough to…you know."
"Defeat the World-Eater," Vilkas shuddered. "A fell destiny, indeed. Then we will do our best to help her prepare, Kai." He paused and added, "But we aren't going to make it easy for her."
"No," Kaidan agreed. "You shouldn't. She wouldn't thank you for that."
True to their word, the Companions worked Edna to the bone. Every day she went up to Jorrvaskr to train, and every night she soaked her bruises in the tub Lydia brought up to her room and filled with hot steaming water.
The Dragonborn also followed through on visiting Volunruud and Eldersblood Peak to find the Word Walls there. Volunruud gave her a thu'um that allowed her to see life auras that were still some distance ahead, even through stone walls. This proved very handy in the weeks that followed as the Companions sent her out to deal with bandits, wild beasts and escaped criminals.
Eldersblood Peak was guarded by a dragon, but it was unlike any they had seen thus far. Instead of fire or frost, this dragon belched out a cloud of cinders and ash at them. Though taken by surprise, the end of inevitable, and the Dragonborn absorbed its soul and claimed the Word, zun, which Edna was pleased to see would allow her to disarm her opponent.
"It won't work against dragons, of course," she allowed, as she and Kaidan filled their backpacks with the treasure from the dragon's hoard, "but I should think it will come in very handy against the two-legged, weapon-wielding kind."
Kaidan noticed that Athis' attitude towards the Dragonborn mellowed and grew to respect the more she trained with him. Even Njada found it difficult to dislike Edna, who was respectful and patient under the younger woman's tutelage. But it was with Kodlak, Vignar and Eorlund with whom Edna spent much of her social time while at Jorrvaskr, and Kaidan knew it was because they were all the closest in age to her; older, to be sure, but less years between them and her than between her and Kaidan. He didn't resent this; he was happy she found peers in this group.
But time was pressing on, and he began to worry what plans Delphine had made that would put Edna at risk in search of more concise information about the dragons returning. For her part, Edna seemed in no hurry to return to Riverwood.
She and Kaidan made a trip to Falkreath at the invitation of its Jarl, Siddgeir, who wanted Edna to clear out a den of bandits he admittedly had had 'dealings' with. Edna agreed, but it was clear she wasn't happy about it.
"Brazen little fool!" she spat once they were outside. "To admit to me he's been getting a cut from bandits who are preying on people who travel the roads! And what's he doing with all that money? Is he helping the people in his Hold? Is he working to rebuild Helgen after that dragon attack? No! He sits there in the lap of luxury and lets his Steward do all the real work for him! Pompous windbag!"
"I've got a few other words I'd rather use to describe him," Kaidan scowled, "but I can't say them in polite company."
"You forget, dear boy," Edna countered, "I practically grew up in the Legion. I am most definitely not 'polite company!'" Kaidan chuckled.
"So, are you going to do it for him?" he asked.
Edna sighed and nodded. "Yes, I'll do it," she grumbled. "But not for him. It's for the people of Falkreath, the people of Skyrim, so they can travel without having to fear for their lives."
The bandits at Embershard Mine, near the border of Whiterun Hold, were really no match for them, and with the Dragonborn employing her Aura Whisper, it became even easier to prepare to fight what was just around the bend, rather than be surprised by it.
Edna was surprised, however, when – upon their return – Siddgeir graciously granted them permission to purchase property in his Hold.
"You're not actually considering becoming his Thane, are you?" Kaidan asked, bewildered.
Edna shrugged, indecisive. "I haven't made up my mind yet, Kai," she admitted, "but it's tempting to have some kind of clout to use to help the common folk."
"Clout?" he queried.
"Influence," Edna clarified. "If I'm Thane, I'll have rank and position within his Hold, the same as I currently do in Whiterun."
"But to have him be your Jarl," Kaidan said disparagingly.
"I know, I know," Edna sighed. "Guess I'll just have to hold my nose, like I did as a child when forced to eat something I didn't like."
Kaidan laughed, entertaining a mental image of Edna holding her nose when speaking with Siddgeir.
In order to become Thane of Falkreath Hold, however, it was necessary for Edna to first help the people. "Because of course," she said savagely, "he can't be arsed to do it himself."
Helping Thaddgeir, Siddgeir's uncle, deliver a pot of cremains to Runil, the priest of Arkay, led them to witness the funeral of a child who had been murdered by a laborer who had come through town. Edna spoke consolingly to the grieving parents and learned that the murderer was a laborer named Sinding who was currently in the Falkreath jail.
"What could drive a man to do something like this!" Mathies said angrily, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"We'll get to the bottom of this, Mathies," Edna promised.
Kaidan followed Edna to the jail, and the militant look on her face clearly said she intended to give this Sinding fellow a piece of her mind.
"What kind of monster goes around killing little children?" Kaidan muttered.
Edna said nothing, but approached the cell where Sinding was being held. It was little more than a cistern to collect rainwater, with a grate over the top, exposed to the weather. There was no doubt the Falkreath guards intended to make this man as miserable as possible. Sinding was clad only in a rough pair of trousers, barely big enough to cover his dignity, and he was shivering from the cold, for all that he was a Nord. His sandy blonde hair hung limp and lank down the sides of his face, and it looked as though he hadn't bathed or shaved in a while. Stubble covered his cheeks and chin, and his blue eyes were listless and filled with despair. He barely glanced up when he heard them draw near.
"Come to gawk at the monster?" he asked, wretchedness in every aspect of his being.
"I heard you killed a little girl," Edna stated, expecting him to deny it.
"Believe me, it wasn't anything I ever intended to do," Sinding pleaded. "I just...lost control. I tried to tell them, but none of them believe me."
"You 'lost control'," Edna said flatly. "You're a full-grown adult. How could you just 'lose control' upon seeing a small child?"
"It's all on account of this blasted ring," Sinding replied, holding up his hand. A silver band rested on one finger, with the likeness of a wolf's head carved into it.
"And now you're blaming your actions on a piece of jewelry," Edna scowled. "That's not taking responsibility for your actions, and you're not making a very good case for why I should feel any sympathy towards you."
"I don't expect sympathy," Sinding said. "I don't deserve any. What I did…even while I didn't want to do it…was heinous, and I deserve whatever fate they Jarl has in store for me. All I'm saying is that if it wasn't for this ring, I would never have hurt the child."
"How is the ring responsible?" Kaidan asked, frowning. Something wasn't adding up here.
"This is the Ring of Hircine," Sinding replied. "It was said to give men like me control over my transformations. But I'll never know now if it does or not; Hircine didn't care for my taking it, so he threw a curse on it. The changes would just…come over me. I could never tell when, like with the little girl."
"Changes?" Kaidan echoed. "You're a…?"
"Werewolf," Sinding admitted. "It's my secret, and my shame. I've been trying to find a way to appease Hircine, to see if he would remove the curse, but then I had my…accident with the child."
Edna's scowl deepened upon hearing the murder of the little girl described as an 'accident.'
"So just how were you going to get this curse removed?" she demanded. "Not that it makes a difference now, but how do you intend to make reparation to Mathies and Indara for the loss of their little girl?"
"I…I can't," Sinding admitted. "I can't bring her back, and I can't undo what I did. All I was hoping to do was to contact the Lord of the Hunt directly and beg him to remove the curse from this ring." He took a ragged breath and continued. "I've been looking for a way to appease Hircine. There is a certain beast in these lands. Large, majestic. It's said that Hircine will commune with whoever slays it. I tracked it into these woods, but then…well, you know. I want to beg his forgiveness. Give him back the ring. But while I'm stuck in here, the beast wanders free."
Edna turned away, and while she still frowned, Kaidan could see she wasn't as unaffected as she pretended to be. Sinding was a doomed man; there could be no question of that. Kaidan knew a bit about the Daedric Prince of the Hunt. Those who followed Hircine followed him after death, as well as in life. The headman would end his life here, but the Huntsman would claim Sinding's soul and he would be doomed to chase the prey for eternity in the Hunting Grounds.
Kaidan shuddered. He'd done a fair share of hunting in his time, but to be bound to do it forever after death, with no rest? He wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy.
Edna turned back to Sinding. "Alright," she sighed. "I don't condone what you did, but I believe you are truly sorry. Whether the ring had anything to do with it or not is immaterial. If it helps to put your mind at rest, I'll take the ring to Hircine. Just tell me where you last saw him."
Kaidan moved forward. "Edna, no—"
But it was too late. Though she hadn't actively put the ring on, somehow it was there, on her finger, and pull as she might, she couldn't get it off. She glared at Sinding, as if he were somehow responsible for this unfortunate occurrence. "Tell me where you saw this beast," she said tersely, her anger restored.
Sinding, however, now free from the dampening effects of Hircine's Ring, was already transforming into a werewolf, and when the change was complete, he leaped up to the grate overhead and shoved it aside, escaping out into the wilds once more.
"Damn, blast, bother, knickers and spit!" Edna swore, tugging at the ring again. "I had no idea that was going to happen!"
"I should have warned you," Kaidan apologized. He'd had dealings with the daedra in the past, and the wise person knew well enough to never trust them or their artifacts.
Edna waved her hands dismissively. "It doesn't matter now, Kai," she said. "What's done is done. Let's see if we can't find this beast Sinding spoke of. If it really is Hircine, perhaps he'll remove the curse, since I'm not a follower of his."
"Maybe," Kaidan said doubtfully. He had a sinking feeling this wasn't the end of it.
It took much tramping over what Kaidan felt was half of Falkreath before they found the 'beast' Sinding spoke of; a large white hart that stood out against the dark green of the pines. As they crept forward, Edna drew her Imperial bow, which she affectionately referred to as "Old Friend," and took aim. Kaidan held his breath. He'd seen Edna hunt before, and she seldom managed to bring down a stag in one shot. Usually they had to track it for miles before they could put the deer out of its misery.
To his surprise, she dropped it in one. As they approached, to see if she had actually felled the creature, a ghostly apparition of the hart rose from the beast and seemed to wait patiently for them to speak.
"I'm guessing you're Hircine?" Edna inquired, seemingly unconcerned over this odd occurrence.
"I am the spirit of the hunt," the beast acknowledged. "Just one glimpse of the glorious stalker that your kind calls Hircine."
"I see…" Edna drawled, refusing to be impressed. "I don't suppose you'll take back this cursed ring of yours, would you? It was never my intention to put it on in the first place."
"I may consider it," the Lord of the Hunt demurred, "but you must first do a service for my glory."
"Of course," Edna muttered. "No one does anything for nothing these days. What would you have me do?"
"The one who stole it has fled to what he thinks is his sanctuary," the Aspect of Hircine said. "Just as a bear climbs a tree to escape the hunt, but only ends up trapping himself. He has fled to Bloated Man's Grotto. Seek out this rogue shifter. Tear the skin from his body, and make it an offering to me."
This time Edna blinked in surprise. "Skin him?" she balked. "Isn't that a bit drastic? I'm willing to bring him back here for trial and punishment, but what you're asking is a bit much. He hasn't done me any harm."
"There is no retribution in the Hunt," Hircine replied scathingly. "It is not vengeance I seek, but the blood course of a living hunt. If you will not do this, I have other followers who are more than willing to accomplish this task. But the ring will remain as it is…and where it is." The Aspect faded away, with the implication of Hircine's warning ringing in their ears. Short of cutting off her own finger, Edna would not be able to removed Hircine's ring from her hand.
"Fucking Daedra," Kaidan spat. "This is no choice at all. We either have to kill a man who was played by a Daedra, and who's clearly remorseful over what he did, or we let him go and you're stuck with a cursed ring which will do who-knows-what to you."
"The Daedra don't care about the feelings of mortals, Kaidan," Edna intoned. "Let's get on our way to Bloated Man's Grotto."
"You're going to kill Sinding?" Kaidan asked.
"I don't know!" Edna simmered. "I haven't made up my mind yet. Just…just let me think about this for a bit, please."
They made it as far as South Brittleshin Pass before night caught up with them. Edna was tired, and both were hungry. Kaidan set up his tent on the shore of Lake Illinalta and went out to hunt while Edna made a stew of some vegetables and rabbit they'd caught along the way. "Jugged rabbit," she'd told him when he returned, having had no luck finding anything else. "I used to eat this a lot in the Legion."
She was quiet all evening, burying her nose in a book while he busied himself fixing a split seam in the tent. She retired early after bidding him goodnight and Kaidan brooded the rest of the night about being helpless to aid her in making a decision. He picked up the book she'd been reading: Aedra and Daedra. It seemed Edna had been looking into some research about the Daedric Prince they were dealing with. He'd have to ask her what she'd learned in the morning.
They had to fight their way through Brittleshin Pass the next day, as a necromancer had decided to set up shop inside. The waves of icy cold winds he sent their way sapped their strength, making the fight much harder than it needed to be. The only consolation was in knowing they had cleared the pass for common travelers; the additional healing potions and gold they found didn't hurt, either.
Bloated Man's Grotto wasn't that much further away, but as they entered a strange scarlet pall hung over the cavern. The daylight from outside didn't penetrate here, and the larger red moon of Tamriel – Masser – glowered menacingly from overhead where the roof of the entrance tunnel gave way to the open-air hollow inside. A few yards away, a disturbing scene lay, clearly having played out not long before their arrival. Blood lay everywhere, splashed against the tents, the bedrolls, the bushes, and soaking into the ground. Several figures lay around a small campsite, their bodies practically ripped apart as if by some monstrous beast. Kaidan had a good idea who was responsible. He quickly surveyed the area, peering sharply into the surrounding shrubbery and shadows, but he could see no other signs of life. Edna crouched near a figure that still held onto a thread of life.
"Has the Blood Moon called you, hunter?" a Khajiit warrior coughed, gasping.
"What happened here?" Edna asked, desperately trying to offer the cat a healing potion, but he kept pushing it away, seemingly reconciled to his fate.
"The prey is strong," he wheezed. "Stronger than the hunters. But more will come. Take him down, for the glories of Lord Hircine!" He coughed one last time and slumped in her arms. Edna lowered him carefully, her face grim.
"Let's go, Kai," Edna said. "We can't do anything here for them."
"Aye," he agreed, stone-faced. "We should be cautious. We don't know what we'll find in here."
"Oh, I have a pretty good idea," Edna said. "Sinding, for one; and a bunch of other hunters who think it's fun to hunt men."
"Sinding isn't a man, though," Kaidan pointed out. "He's a werewolf."
"Not by his own choice," Edna shot back. "However he came to be one, he doesn't want that so-called 'blessing' of Hircine's. This hunt against him is Hircine's petty reaction against someone who refuses that 'gift'."
"Is that something you read in that book you were reading last night?" Kaidan asked quietly as they moved across the open grove.
"Partly," Edna admitted. "And partly from personal experience."
Kaidan stopped, shocked. "Dragonborn! You were a werewolf?"
"What?" Edna stopped also, confused. "Me? No! Never. But someone I knew in the Legion was afflicted with lycanthropy. She rejected it, also, and Hircine sent the Wild Hunt after her, just as he's doing here now. Helene never stood a chance against them. I only hope…"
"What?" Kaidan asked softly, sensing how upset Edna was. "Talk to me, Dragonborn."
"I killed her," Edna said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't want to, but Helene begged me. Furthermore, she insisted I use her blade to do the deed." At his puzzled look, she sighed and said, "Helene's sword had a soul trapping enchantment on it. She gave me a black soul gem she had acquired from somewhere and told me if I didn't kill her, she'd take her own life. Trapping her soul in the gem meant she would deny Hircine from claiming it when she died, and keep her from having to follow him through eternity in the Hunting Grounds. I'm not proud of what I did, but I couldn't let her take her own life."
Kaidan was silent while digesting this. Finally, he said simply, "You granted her last wish. You saved her soul from Hircine. I think that's the kindest thing I've ever heard."
Edna sighed. "I don't know what happened to the soul gem when I was…imprisoned. They took it from me. I imagine some battlemage used it to recharge their staff or something. I only hope Helene was able to find peace somehow, some way." She seemed to shrug off the melancholy. "Let's get moving," she insisted. "We need to find Sinding before the others do."
"And what then?" Kaidan asked.
"I don't know," his companion admitted. "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
They hadn't gone very much further when a voice echoed out from somewhere above them. Silhouetted against the baleful glare of Masser was Sinding, perched on a rocky outcropping high overhead.
"You!" he cried, clearly dismayed. "I never expected to see you two again. I can imagine why you're here, though."
Edna stood up. Crouching was clearly unnecessary. "Hircine wants me to kill you," she stated.
"And I would deserve it, wouldn't I?" Sinding acknowledge, defeat in every aspect of his tone and posture. "I can't stop you if that's what you want to do. Hircine is too powerful. But if you spare me, I can be a powerful ally to you," he offered, brightening a bit in hope. "And I would promise to never return to civilized life. I know now that I can't live among people."
Kaidan said nothing, waiting for Edna's decision. She seemed to be considering all her options, and took several minutes to come to her conclusion.
"I will spare your life," she finally said, though it seemed the words were dragged from her.
"Thank the gods!" Sinding almost wept, his voice choked with emotion. "Now let's deal with these other hunters. We hunt together!"
What followed after was a bloodbath in which Edna took little part, allowing Kaidan to defend her and Sinding to do much of the actual combat. When all was silent once more, Sinding turned to the Dragonborn to thank her for sparing his life.
"I didn't do this for you, necessarily," Edna explained. "And I have your solemn promise to never come into contact with people again, right?"
"I swear on my mother's grave," Sinding vowed. "I will make my home here, away from civilization, away from anyone I might hurt. But please…I have to know: why did you spare me?"
"I knew someone like you," was all Edna would say as she and Kaidan said good-bye and left the grotto.
Once outside, the Aspect of Hircine appeared before them, only this time as a horned man.
"Well done, my hunter!" he praised Edna, who only scowled at him.
"I'm not yours, Hircine," she said tartly. "I didn't kill Sinding."
"It is of no consequence," Hircine dismissed. "By bringing down my other Hunters, you turned the chase inside out. And they were no base prey. You continue to amuse and impress. Go forth, with my blessing."
The ring on Edna's hand glowed slightly as Hircine vanished.
"I don't want your blessing," she growled, and tugged at the ring. To the surprise of both Edna and Kaidan, the ring came off quite easily.
"I'm tempted to just chuck it into the bushes," she muttered. "But some other hapless person might find it and be snared by Hircine. I can't have that on my conscience." She put the ring into her belt pouch.
They moved away from Bloated Man's Grotto and out onto the tundra. Though the day was still early, Edna asked Kaidan to set up his tent.
"I didn't sleep well last night," she explained, "and I could use a rest now."
This was quickly done, and once Edna had settled herself on the couch, Kaidan came over and sat next to her.
"Dragonborn," he began, "Edna…would you tell me why you decided to spare Sinding?"
Edna sighed. For a long moment he thought she would refuse to answer, but eventually she spoke.
"It wasn't an easy decision to make," she admitted. "All I could think of was that he had murdered a little girl who would never have a chance to grow up, how devastated her parents were at her loss – and in such a manner. But then I thought of my friend Helene, and how she never wanted that curse in the first place. She'd been infected with lycanthropy before we really understood we were fighting werewolves at the time. I think Sinding must have been afflicted in a similar manner, since he clearly didn't want to be one, and sought a way to rid himself of the curse – or at least, to be able to control it."
"I could tell how sorry he was," Kaidan nodded. "He seemed a broken man. He'll have to live with the knowledge of what he did for the rest of his life."
"Which I think is probably punishment enough," Edna agreed. "Though Jarl Siddgeir and his city guards might disagree. I think Mathies and Indara might also have a few things to say about that."
Kaidan blew out a sigh. "What will you tell them?"
"Nothing," Edna said firmly. "I won't say anything unless it comes up, which I doubt it will. But if it does, I'll tell them I killed him."
"You'd lie?"
"Wouldn't you?" Edna threw back at him sharply. "I'm not a saint, Kaidan," she went on. "I've done some pretty bad things in my life. But I think I can get away with a little white lie if it would bring them peace. But that isn't the only reason I spared Sinding."
"Oh?" Kaidan raised an eyebrow. Edna was certainly full of surprises.
"No," she continued. "You see, Hircine wanted me to kill Sinding, to punish him. He even sent those other hunters to make sure the job got done, whether I showed up or not. Anyone in the Legion will tell you I never liked doing what others told me to do if I felt that what they wanted me to do was wrong; and what Hircine wanted me to do was wrong. He wanted me to kill Sinding so that his soul would be committed to the Hunting Grounds for all time, where Hircine could torture him forever."
"But you've only put off the inevitable," Kaidan pointed out. "Sinding might still die there in that cave, or somewhere out in the wilds of Skyrim, and he'd still end up a plaything of Hircine."
"I know," Edna replied, troubled. "I didn't say it was a perfect solution. More like a temporary stay of execution unless and until a cure could be found."
"Is there a cure for lycanthropy?" her companion asked.
Edna shook her head. "Not that I've ever heard about," she replied. "But that doesn't mean there isn't one; it simply means I'm not aware of one yet. Perhaps we'll find one as we go along."