3:39 p.m., June 15th, 1bNb
Tsume bit down on her lips in pain as a kunai implanted itself into her left arm. The Jounin and her partner were in a pinch, the tension of battle thoroughly embedding itself into them. She wasn't a stranger to pressure, battle or injury, having already fought on the war's frontlines before, but she was beginning to think that this might just be above her paygrade.
There were 10 Chuunin after her and Kuromaru alone. Tsume was a talented Tokujo, specializing in ambushes and sneak attacking, but this was a direct confrontation. Don't get her wrong, she could handle herself just fine in an ordinary fight, the Inuzuka wouldn't allow any of their growing pups to ever underperform in taijutsu.
Alas, this was not an ordinary fight, but a dangerous predicament she brought upon herself. She was buying time; a desperate gambit, really. But despite the precarious situation, she was determined to hold the enemies back. The order she gave to Daisuke and Momoku to retreat to gather the others was more of an excuse to get them out of the way of this fight. Tsume would rather eat shit and die than get her comrades killed on her behalf, and at their current levels, they likely become a hindrance at some point.
That's what motivated her to stand her ground and kill four of the pursuing Chuunin so far. In the process, she and Kuromaru were spent. Their legs were buckling as they held their ground, huffing and puffing, bleeding from spots they hadn't bled from before. The squad seemed to specialize in projectiles, and with the constant barrage of shuriken and high-speed stones coming their way, it forced the two out of their element.
The use of her trusty flashbangs was what brought her so far. The blindness added a much-needed shock element to the fight, but they quickly got adapted to the strategy. After the first few flashes, her enemies had started getting used to looking away or closing their eyes, one of the shinobi, likely a sensor type, opted to keep his eyes closed the whole time to avoid fatal mistakes.
One of the Chuunin had gotten too close after confidently assuming she wouldn't be able to counterattack anymore with all of her injuries and weariness and got his throat bitten out by Kuromaru, which left the other enemies wary of surprises, so they began focusing on pelting the two down with projectiles.
The constant weaving, leaping and deflection of sharp stones, kunai and shuriken was getting old to Tsume. She could feel the bruises all over her arms, legs and torso pulsating in pain. Her legs felt like jelly from how much she had to maneuver and the blood loss made her dizzy and sluggish. Living creatures could only bear so much at a time.
Suddenly, a large snake surged towards the Chuunin, who were caught off guard by its sudden appearance and failed to properly avoid it. The speed of the assault blew Tsume's hair around. Two of them were swallowed and another had an arm snapped off by the strength of its closing jaw. Tsume flared her chakra wildly and used the last of her strength, Kuromaru following her, to launch herself and her partner into a Fang Passing Fang attack and drill holes through the remaining, scrambling shinobi.
Tsume glanced behind her to see a neutral-faced Orochimaru. She smirked through her exhaustion. "Yer la-" she started before being interrupted by the Sannin's clinical voice. "We're evacuating Utahime. The base has long been compromised." She glared dangerously at him for his interruption, then quickly relented. "What about the pups?" she asked pointedly.
He pointed at two medium-sized snake summons behind him, carrying both Shimada and Daisuke on their backs. The two were unconscious, but obviously not fatally injured. Tsume was relieved, but also furious with herself for her lack of earlier intervention.
Her decision to keep a low profile when she realized the enemy had impersonated Kousei resulted in the injury of Genin she was in charge of. Anko was wrapped with bandages around her torso, but was following along, conscious, unlike her peers. Tsume could tell she was pretending to be less injured than she was, the smell of adrenaline around her was very strong.
"What about the other three?"
"A messenger snake I sent let me know that they won their battle without any major injuries. They will be led to us as we depart. No more dawdling, Tsume-kun. Waiting for more Iwa forces to arrive and attack us would not be ideal." he responded, and then rapidly formed a few hand seals. He slammed his hands on the ground, causing a tunnel to dig itself out. "We will use this as an exit."
She looked back at her unconscious students and wounded Genin squad member and exhaled harshly. "What a shitty ass day. Yer right, let's get outta here already." she agreed, turning to follow the retreating Sannin.
The fighting was finally over, but Tsume was definitely not looking forward to giving the mission report or filling in the paperwork. The one thing she knew is that her students would hate the extra training she would dump on them after the dust was settled.
Needless to say, Inuzuka Tsume did not want to see the sight of her Genin unconscious ever again.
—-
I was in a void, an empty world surrounded me on all sides. Considering I was blanketed in nothingness, it was surprisingly nice. Strangely enough, it was… gentle, almost as if I was being comforted by the absence of anything. Is this a lucid dream or something? I always wondered what those were like. My friend Matt said he had them all the time.
Something was bothering me. This dream's pretty cool, but I need to wake up and do some stuff, right? What was it again? I was supposed to do something important. It's just… kind of hard to remember with all of this… fog. Huh, when did that get here? I guess I can just… wave it away, right? Let's see…
I reached out to wave it away, but it seemed to grow denser. I can't remember?
Maybe I was supposed to run to the store to get something for Mom. I could've sworn she was nagging at me about something like studying for my exams or sleeping properly. Right. Kaa-san was telling me that Gai came by and canceled our training again because of a mission. And Dad, he was supposed to call me... about my birthday, was it? But Tou-san hasn't even been able to send a letter this whole time. And…
My birthday. It isn't anytime soon, is it? Wait, that's not right. I don't...
The fog in my mind started to shift, swirling, as if it was being stirred by an unseen hand. New fragments of other memories began to make their way through – the telltale clang of metal, the rush of battle-fueled adrenaline, the weight of a kunai in my hand. These weren't memories from Earth; these were from here, from this life as a ninja. My life as Dean was already gone.
I remembered running through hallways, not to a store, but towards my squadmates. Memories of my life at school faded away in favor of grueling training with Gai and Sensei. The phone call from Dad morphed into the stern, focused report from Orochimaru and Tsume-sensei. In the place of my old memories, the harsh realities of the shinobi world grew more distinct. My path as a shinobi, the mission, the ambush – these were the pieces of my current reality, stark and unforgiving.
As the fog continued to clear, the full weight of my recent experiences came crashing down on me. That life-or-death battle. The near death of my friends. I was Daisuke Uchiha. And with that realization, the previously comforting void began to dissolve, pulling me back into the harsh light of reality.
The last shreds of my denial quickly faded away, leaving behind an image that has been burned into my mind with my newly-awakened Sharingan: His eyes, willed with terror and hate seemed to bore into my soul. Blood bubbled from the throat I had impaled with a disgusting shade of red. His mouth opened and closed, begging for air that it would never get. There was no void anymore. I was somewhere else, somewhere real. My eyes snapped open, visions of the battle I had just survived flooding my mind in painful and unrelenting clarity.
9:57 p.m., June 15th, 1bNb
I shot up with a scream, hyperventilating and looking around myself frantically.. I was surrounded by trees on all sides and… the mission's assigned squad. The familiar faces of my teammates, Sensei and Orochimaru, all looked at me in mild shock as sweat dripped down my pale face.
"Ah-! sorry…" I murmured, looking down at my hands, which were still shaking from the dream I'd just woken up from. Iruka stepped forward, handing me a ration bar and a canteen with water in it. "You okay? You look pretty spooked." he asked me with concern, looking at my face for answers.
I forced a nervous smile. "I just had a pretty horrible nightmare is all, I'm fine!" I said, taking a bite out of the bar. Somehow, it was more tasteless than usual. He stared at me for a few seconds longer, "If you say so." he dismissed. I took a sip of water to hide my face. Anko looked like she wanted to say something, but then shook her head and turned away.
After that, they filled me in on what happened. After my… confrontation with the enemy had concluded and I passed out, Orochimaru gathered everyone for a full retreat. Since then, we had been traveling at break-neck speeds to get back to the village, and six hours had passed since then. I woke up just as they stopped to recharge for a few minutes.
We were on track to get back to the village sometime in the very early morning, not stopping to even sleep. At the speed we were going, and with the injuries some of us had incurred, Kuromaru and Orochimaru's snakes had to take some of us at times.
Not me, though. Would've been nice.
The journey back left me alone with my thoughts. Uncertainty pressed down upon me, weighing me down while I kept on forward. I was naive. So very naive. My ambitions and goals were built upon an ideal that I had planned over the last nine years. I wanted to bring about world peace, I wanted to become a strong and influential shinobi to bring about change and so I could save my family and my friends. Clearly, I never thought of the most fundamental aspect of being a shinobi.
The necessity to kill. It never came to mind. I had never even begun to think about the concept that I would have to kill someone one day. That I would have to steal someone's life away. Somewhere deep in my mind, I was in denial. With all my resolve and determination to stop these upcoming tragedies and the deaths of my loved ones, I had completely forgotten to consider the tragedy and death I would be forced to create following this path.
The image of that Iwa-nin's dying moments were still etched in my mind, and when I closed my eyes, I swear I could see him. I just… don't understand. He was going to kill us. I knew that fact very well. Anko, Shimada and I would end up dead if we didn't fight back and kill him. That's why my body moved on its own at that moment. I instinctively knew the consequences of my inaction. The cost of letting him live.
Then, why? Why do I still see that face? That man's face, it's always staring at me from the back of my mind, as if it's a vengeful spirit hellbent on cursing me. Does this guilt stem from the fact that he's a human, just like me? Maybe he had his own mom and dad back home, waiting for him to come back safely. They must be awaiting his grand return from his supposedly important mission, ready to celebrate with his favorite foods and drinks. Maybe he had a partner, or a sibling, or a teacher.
And I took that life away. He could have been incredibly talented at drawing. He could have been a friend to some. Maybe, he was rich, but then again he could've just as easily lived in the lowest slum in Iwagakure struggling to make ends meet, but I still tore that away from him, forever.
I wonder what my family back on Earth would think of me, their son, a killer in another lifetime. I wonder, would they even recognize me? The thought twisted around in my gut, making it harder and harder to keep up a front on the way back, but good shinobi don't make a fuss, so I kept quiet. The blood staining my hands solidified that fact: that I am a ninja.
My squad knew something was up, I could see Sensei and Iruka sharing glances with each other, and after I waved off their concerns a few times, they finally let up. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I just wanted to go home, sleep and forget about today. Forget about everything.
Forget that moment.
We reached the village at a quarter past three. The Chuunin at the gates weren't expecting anyone at the time so we needed to prove our identities with our mission scroll, but that was quickly dealt with. The sight of the village admittedly comforted me to an extent, even while I could barely see anything in the night's darkness. The knowledge that I was home was enough.
"T's been a long ass day, so go home 'n get some shut-eye. Y'all can fill out the mission reports tomorrow. Ye've got tomorrow off'ah training, but drag yourselves to the Hokage tower ta give yer report to the Hokage." Tsume-sensei announced with more energy than she had, judging by the bags under her eyes.
Sensei looked at me, Shimada and Iruka. "Don't forget 'bout trainin' after tomorrow. Or I'll beat'cher asses." she warned before disappearing in a shunshin.
"Hai." we said before turning to go our separate ways. Iruka frowned remorsefully at me before sighing, "I hope you'll feel better after some rest, Daisuke-san. See you later." he said, turning away without waiting to hear back from me. Before I left, I caught Anko blankly staring at me.
The streets of Konoha this late at night (or early in the morning?) were blissfully quiet. If it had been me from back on Earth, perhaps I would have been on edge with the ominousness of Konoha's nights, but now I wasn't frightened in the least. I quietly made my way home, listening to the occasional sounds of light tapping and wind splitting from other shinobi jumping on the roofs of the buildings surrounding me.
My home's door unlocked with a click. An extra pair of sandals were at the door. I walked through without a sound, carefully making my way to my room, before I dropped down on my bed. I passed out an instant later.
—-
I couldn't remember the last time the family had gone on a trip to the lake. Everyone was here. Mom, Uncle David, my Auntie, Granny, my cousins, everyone. It was something like a tradition. We gathered everyone in a car and drove off with a grill and some blankets to Cranberry Lake and had a blast. It's been a few years, though; there was an argument in the family that put a stick in plans for almost two years.
I was sitting on a blanket with Mom and Granny. "Hey Granny, do you remember when me and Nash were preparing that water balloon ambush?" I asked with a wide grin. She chuckled, "Oh, sure! The one where I absolutely humiliated the two of you!" she recalled, before continuing. "You were so excited about pelting little old me with all those balloons, I heard you screaming about it from across the house." she said fondly.
"You two were gonna pelt Grandma? Why wasn't I told about this?" Mom asked with faux offense. "If it were me-!" Mom continued before she was interrupted by granny, "You would've done a lot worse than just drenching them." granny supplied, shaking her head good naturedly.
"The two of us were hiding like gremlins in that bush outside the back door, ready to 'prank' Granny. Unfortunately for us, the kitchen window was right above us." I snickered before gesturing a bucket being poured with an over exaggerated grumpy-old-woman expression. "That is not how I looked!" Granny shouted in outrage.
"The two of you were such a handful when you were little," Mom commented with a nostalgic smile. "Yeah. Sorry not sorry." I said mischievously. I looked around at my family. Uncle David was grilling some meat we'd brought, holding the youngest of my cousins on his shoulders. I could see my Aunt Nicole sun tanning and little Tom and Ella swimming in the lake.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask, but why isn't Nash here? Is he busy with something?" I asked casually, facing Mom.
She frowned at me, and it wasn't an over exaggerated or humorous frown. "Oh, De-D-Daisuke… don't you remember?" She asked, suddenly switching to Japanese. Mom doesn't know Japanese. A chill ran down my spine.
"Nash is gone, remember? He died in that huge mission, right? To infiltrate that Konoha base." her frown turned into a small smile, but her eyes were glossed over and dark.
"How could you forget about that, Daisuke-chan? After all…" her head began contorting and spasming as blood gushed out from her mouth and nose.
"... You're the one who killed him."
As the words parted from her mouth, a gaping hole appeared in her throat, blood bubbling out from the stab wound in the same way it did back then. "He suffered juuust like this, didn't he?" she asked in a sickeningly sweet tone, as blood dripped down her lips. "Don't you feel bad?"
A sharp scream cut through the silent room as I jolted awake. My heart was beating frantically as I took breath after breath to calm down. It was a dream, just a dream, or rather, a nightmare. How long am I going to have to deal with this? It'd barely been a day, I knew that, but,
Did I really make the right choice, becoming a shinobi? What have I even been doing all this time? All of that thinking, all of that planning. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe becoming a ninja was a mistake. Why did I even choose this path?
The moment I thought that, the door busted open, Kaa-san and Izumi rushing through the doorway to get to me.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Are you okay, Daisuke-chan?! What's going on? When did you get home? Did something happe-!?" Kaa-san rambled on in a panic before her darting eyes spotted my eyes. I had activated the Sharingan as I woke up in distress. Her expression softened as she leaned in to hug me. "Oh, sweetheart…" he sighed.
That's right. The reason I chose this path. The reason I arrogantly resolved to be a shinobi despite knowing nothing of what it meant. The reason I could be so optimistic about this career path. They were the reason I decided to do this. I looked down at my little sister, who was struggling not to cry.
"Nii-chan, why are your eyes all red and swirly? 'Re you crying too much? Please don't cry, I'm here, too," she pleaded, voice breaking.
Right then, upon hearing the worried voices of my family, the dam broke, and I cried in Kaa-san's arms with my sister, like a real nine year old would. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as my body shook with each sob.
"I-" I cried out, taking a sharp breath in between, "-with m-my hands! That man-!" I tried to say before Kaa-san's soothing voice shushed me. "It's okay," she whispered softly, "Daisuke-chan, we're here now. You can let it all out." she said, her voice imbued with a reassuring warmth.
Beside us, Izumi was looking with shaky, concerned eyes. "That's right!" She shouted, latching on my arm. "It's okay to c-cry!" she sniffled at the last word.
The emotions I had been desperately keeping at bay had been festering me on the journey back. The guilt, the fear, the regret, I was keeping them down. The more I thought about the man who I'd murdered, the blood on my hands, the more I had to keep my feelings down, bottled up and simmering below the surface.
It was the sight of my family that had released that build-up. Seeing two of my most treasured people, I lost control of my emotions in the vulnerability and comfort their presence had brought.
I cried, and I sobbed, and I shrieked, and I wailed. It wasn't a pretty sound, and it certainly wasn't a sound I ever thought I'd make. In the comforting arms of my mother, and by my sister's side, my tears just wouldn't stop. My arms were wrapped around her as tightly as they could. It probably hurt. It was a terrible thing to let her endure, but she didn't shake me off or try to calm me down. She patiently rubbed circles into my back shaking back. I wondered if someone did this for her sometime in the past.
Gradually, the torrent of my sobs began to die down, growing softer and more spaced out. The hiccups between sniffles slowed down and my tears flowed less and less until they stopped. I carefully lifted my head from Kaa-san's shoulders. Oh wow, that's disgusting. There was a massive stain of tears and mucus covering her shirt.
"I-I'm sorry. I made your shirt gross." I said weakly, sniffling through the sentence. She looked down and made an 'o' with her mouth before waving it off. "Tis' but a mother's duty, Daisuke-chan!" She beamed with an exaggerated noble voice. She peaked at our reactions with one eye.
It made a ridiculous picture; Kaa-san, still in pajamas and bed head, proudly pointing at her ruined shirt, smirking with bravado. I couldn't help but chuckle, "You don't look as cool as you think you do," I commented amusedly, voice still shaky and hoarse. "No way, I was super cool just now!" she glanced down at my sister, "Don't you think so, Izumi-chan?" she asked playfully.
Izumi's head tilted on her shoulder, and she hummed for a moment. "Nii-chan's right, Kaa-chan's super lame." she said seriously, before breaking out into a contagious giggling fit. Kaa-san and I couldn't help but join in. The three of us giggled like little children (two of us were, in fact, little children), breaking the somber atmosphere from just moments ago. It was warm and cathartic, and for just a moment, I forgot why I was just crying.
"Honestly," a familiar voice drawled, "I leave for a moment and I miss something like this?" asked the man standing in the door frame. Almost 3 years had passed, but I could recognize that voice anywhere.
"Tou-chan…?" I asked in amazement.
"The one and only. Good to see you again, kiddo." he with a fond smile.
You know what, maybe, just maybe, I can still go on.
—-
Tou-san had finally come back from the frontlines. It was a long time coming, really, and the relief I felt when I saw him in that doorway was immeasurable.
Apparently, Tou-san arrived home on the same day I left for my C-rank. We missed each other by about 7 hours. I'm just glad we didn't run into each other at the gates. It would've been great to see him again, but that kind of timing would've kept me distracted during the mission.
I was worried that maybe Izumi had forgotten about Tou-san, but my worries were unfounded. Kaa-san described to me how ecstatic Izumi had been, seeing her father at the door, despite how long it had been.
He told me about his deployment since then and how hectic it had been. The frontlines against Iwagakure were brutal, leaving many shell-shocked, wounded or dead. I could see scratches and scars on his face that weren't there before. Who knew what other injuries he'd sustained and scars he'd gained since then.
Tsunade's re-entry into the hospitals came with sweeping medical reforms, both domestically and on the battlefield. The hospital was expanded, new techniques and treatments were being developed and with the introduction of Frontline medics alongside field hospitals, shinobi weren't being sent home unless they were permanently maimed, and even then they were given a choice to continue.
That was the reason Tou-san hadn't been sent back to us in so long. With the war heating up and lines stretching themselves dangerously thin, they simply didn't have the manpower to send most people home. That being said, apparently there were outposts, similar to Utahime, meant to give shinobi time to recover if the stress of war was getting to them.
If Tou-san was allowed back, it meant that his presence wasn't as needed, that ninja on all sides were being withdrawn, and that finally, the war was coming to an end. I would guess that all that's left now is to hear news of the Yellow Flash's triumph against a thousand Iwa-nin in battle, and it will finally be over. Should be a few more months.
After that,
I dropped my head and sighed into my hands.
After that, I'm in for a crazy ride.
The next few months are going to decide the course of the future. The inciting incident for many important events after the third war is the Kannabi bridge incident. Depending on how that horrible mission pans out, history will be pointed into different directions and my foreknowledge could become useless.
It's a frightening thought. My safety net in this world, potential plans for the future, I won't have access to them forever.
But whatever comes next exists from my decision to change the course of history, and my resolve to see through its consequences. There's nothing to plan for, but in the same time, there's way too much to plan for. Obito has grown from the foolish dead-last weakling Kakashi knows him for. Obito won't be a fallen hero of the war. Instead, he will be a part of the legendary team to end the war.
I can't be sure what Madara and Zetsu will do if they can't take Obito. I can't be sure if anything will take the place of Kurama's rampage. I can't be sure of the Uchiha's survival.
And I can't be sure if I have what it takes to kill again, let alone be a shinobi.
The only thing I can do now is move forward and act. I can't protect them if I do nothing, and I don't want to ever see a repeat of that man's dying expression on any of them. None of them will suffer that face.
—-
The morning light was already seeping through the blinds by the time we left my room. The nightmare had left me without the chance to oversleep and indulge in the comfort of my bed, and my outburst meant that I was wide awake. There was no chance I'd fall asleep right now. Kaa-san was just about to make breakfast for us all, and sent Tou-san to the store for a loaf of bread and eggs just before I jolted awake.
It was just perfect timing to wake up right as he left.
Jokes aside, I only managed to catch a few measly hours of sleep. Couple that with all that crying, and yeah, some breakfast sounded just great right about now. Maybe I could get some energy back in the system. The sound of Kaa-san's cooking is actually something I missed; with my recent training, I was mostly eating her premade meals or reheated leftovers.
The aroma of egg and butter filled the room along with the warmth from the cooking and the sun peering at us through the window made me feel like I was really at home. That this wasn't just another dream-turned-nightmare. Everything was too vivid for that – my emotions and my family's words.
I sat next to Izumi, listening to her fondly as she explained to me the latest antics of her tiger plushie (Nyanō-sama) and her tanuki plushie (Tanu-chan). The story was actually pretty funny coming from someone as young as her. Nyanō-sama was the king of the animal kingdom and was trying to catch Tanu-chan, who had stolen the source of his courage: his magical whiskers. The problem was that Nyanō-sama no longer had the courage to do anything, let alone take back his stolen whiskers.
"N' then, cus Tanu-chan felt bad for Nyanō-sama, she gave back his whiskers, and in return, they got married!" she finished at last, "Amazing, right?" she grinned, looking at me for approval. I scratched my chin thoughtfully, "So, did Nyanō-sama really like Tanu-chan?"
"Tanu-chan secretly liked Nyanō-sama the whole time," she added, "n' when she told him, she was suuuper into it, so he fell for her, too." she explained patiently, bobbing her head up and down. "I see. What a beautiful love story," I said with as straight a face as I could make as I nodded seriously. She beamed at me. "Now you have to tell me another story!"
What else could I tell her about? Let's see… Oh! "It all started on a certain Peter Parker's trip to a genetics lab…"
–
"...Peter didn't know if he could really stop the train, but Uncle Ben's words gave him courage. Through sheer strength and determination, he sacrificed his own body and got himself hurt by sticking himself to the nearby buildings to stop the speeding train to save everyone inside. After that, he passed out, and even though everybody saw his real face now, they were so moved by his heroism that they promised to keep it a secret. And after that-" I got interrupted from the story, "What's a train, Nii-chan?" she asked, curiously tilting her head. "Oh. It's like a huge-"
"Daisuke-chan, Izumi-chan, Kichiro, breakfast's ready!" she announced with a much louder voice than she needed. "I'll tell you later," I promised as we got up from the floor and waltzed over to the dining table.
The dining table definitely looked complete with all four seats filled out, now that Tou-san was home. "Let's eat~," we said as usual before digging in. Kaa-san made us the classic omurice today.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" asked Tou-san in between bites. I nearly choked on my rice as I peered at Izumi. "...Maybe, but not with Izumi." I said as I frowned down at my food.
Izumi made an offended face. "But why! Am not a baby anymore!" she whined, "I wanna help Nii-chan too!" I sighed into my hands. "Thank you, but I don't want you to be scared. And besides, I don't want you to hear about this kind of stuff. Honestly I don't even want you to…" I took a breath, "Be a shinobi at all."
I've already been tainted. I've already killed someone and there's no coming back. After what I just experienced, I didn't want her to go through what I did. I didn't want her to have to kill. I didn't want her to cry or be sad. I didn't want her to be in danger. That was the whole point of my decision to become a shinobi in the first place, to keep my family and friends, and especially Izumi, safe.
And regardless of my own feelings, Izumi was too kind to be a shinobi. In canon, all she wanted to do was help others and was always deeply concerned about Itachi's well-being. A girl who cares for others, that's the kind of person she is. She shouldn't, no, can't be a shinobi.
"I already decided I wanna be a ninja, though!" she declared proudly.
"Huh?" Tou-san, Kaa-san and I blurted out in unison. Kaa-san stood up, alarmed, "And when did you decide that, sweetie?" she asked, exacerbated. "Today," she admitted, "Nii-chan was crying today, and I wanna be strong enough and save him and Kaa-chan and Otou-chan." she explained, an uncharacteristic resolve glinting in her eyes.
I was speechless. The result of her kind nature and willingness to help others, of course. That was why she entered the academy in the first place. Izumi is almost five now. She's almost at the standard academy age. But she can't go. At this rate, she'll…
Itachi's face flashed into my mind.
"No, Izu-"
"You sure, sweetheart?" Tou-san asked seriously, ignoring my outburst. Izumi nodded wordlessly. "Then you'd better be ready for some serious catch up. You only have about a year to prepare. Don't complain if the training's too hard." he warned, pointing with his index finger.
"What?! Tou-chan, you can't be serious! What if-"
"-Something happened to her? Your Kaa-chan and I both know exactly what you mean. How do you think we felt when you dedicated yourself to becoming a shinobi?" he shook his head, frowning deeply.
"Do you think we said to each other 'Oh, he'll be fiiiine!' and went on with our lives? Did you think we weren't worried?! After one C-rank, look what happened! I'm even more worried now!" he snapped at me.
"Kichiro!" Kaa-san shouted in warning.
"Then why did you let me become a shinobi?"
"... Because no matter what we thought, we could see how much you needed to do it. You looked desperate, Daisuke. Desperate to get started. What kind of 4 year old boy looks at his parents with begging eyes, confirming that he wants to risk his life and become a killer? If we ignore your sister, why should we have let you enroll?" He explained, "And besides, I will never deny my children what they genuinely want. I can tell she's as serious as you were back then."
Silence loomed in the air, the atmosphere suddenly becoming tense. If Izumi wanted to become a shinobi, what could I do? With how Konoha works and our growing shortage in numbers, Izumi would probably be allowed in even without permission. She would probably go behind my back and do something dangerous.
I don't like it. It's a horrible thing to let her do. She'll surely regret it. We'll surely regret it. One day, Tou-san's gonna wonder if he made the right call. Realistically, I can't stop her, not without Kaa-san and Tou-san preventing her, too. If she was really gonna do it, if she was really entering the academy, then…
"You aren't allowed to die, ever." I relented, but with a firm demand.
—-
The rest of breakfast was pretty quiet. We kinda killed the mood with everything we said, and not even a terrible joke by Kaa-san was enough to bring back a non-awkward conversation. The omurice was great, though.
After eating, I had a shower and got dressed. I wanted to see Gai, and chances are he's at our usual spot, training with Obito. I brought along some water and tied my forehead protector to my head. I told my parents that I was going out to see Gai and I made my way to the training grounds.
I also had to go make a report to the Hokage. This failure of mission would obviously become a big deal, which I wasn't looking forward to. Hopefully the actual adults took care of the brunt of the details.
The morning chill was long gone already. It was June in the Land of Fire, after all. I used a slower pace than usual to enjoy the fresh air. Now that I thought of it, no air back on Earth felt as good as air here. Probably had something to do with the lack of pollution.
Arriving at the familiar training grounds, I saw Gai in the distance, doing some handstand pushups. Notably, he was alone. Obito was probably busy on a mission, then. Gai spotted me almost instantly.
"Daisuke-kun, it is good to see you back so early! Let us refine our Youth once again on this fine morning!" He greeted me with his usual enthusiasm. "Sorry, Gai but I probably should rest today. The mission was… pretty brutal, I guess." I said sheepishly. "Fine then! We shall train with triple the intensity tomorrow in return! Would you be interested in a spar instead?" he suggested instead.
He wanted to spar. Frankly I was a little worried and scared. After yesterday, I'm wondering whether I'm fit to have a fight so early, even if it's a friendly spar. Would I be able to do it? It was frustrating that I felt this much hesitation to have a spar even with my best friend.
No, you know what, I have to overcome this. I have to get over that battle. My first kill. The only way to overcome anything is to continue to function as normal. To keep moving on.
"Just a light spar, okay?"
"Yosh! Prepare yourself, Daisuke-kun!"
Just take a deep breath. It isn't a real fight. I bent down into my usual stance, watching Gai do the same. I kept taking that same deep breath. Maybe I was breathing too deeply. And too fast. I have to overcome this. It's just a spar, anyway. Nothing bad can even happen.
Staring at Gai's Strong Fist fighting stance, I grew a little uneasy. It was obvious from his glinting grin and casual body language that this was a spar. A classic Gai-style casual spar. That nothing dangerous was going on, yet it ignited a spark of panic in my chest.
The match began at a casual pace. He was definitely taking it easy because of my request. It felt like we had exchanged these moves hundreds of times over the years, but as we progressed our speed and blows, each practiced movement felt more like a stumble as I lost composure.
Gai's punches were as controlled as ever. The punches he pulled showed his skill and restraint in fighting, yet to my eyes, each blow he threw was somehow growing faster. Each blow began to look more dangerous, more deadly. A pressure was building up behind my eyes
The spar started to appear less and less like a spar to me. His fists grew in size and his kicks increased in sharpness. Gai threw a punch from an overhead angle and suddenly the training grounds disappeared and were replaced by that hallway. His figure suddenly grew taller and his friendly smile shifted to look more like a vicious smirk.
Colors grew more vivid as the world around me snapped back into focus with so much clarity it hurt my head. The halls of Utahime once again became the same training grounds I had spent countless hours in. My eyes burned with a familiar pain as images from yesterday flooded my mind.
I collapsed to one knee as I gagged and nearly threw up on the ground. The Sharingan. I had activated the Sharingan out of panic in a spar with Gai. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even have a spar with my best friend? What kind of asshole am I? He's not dangerous, no one here is.
In the midst of my thoughts, Gai's voice reached me, "Daisuke-kun… just what happened yesterday?" he asked, his voice lacking the usual energy it does.
"Gai… I killed someone."
—
I told Gai about what had happened yesterday, everything from the mission's start to the end. Throughout it all, my Sharingan was still on. It was hard to turn off. I knew I was meant to stop chakra from flowing there…
Maybe it would be better to try to turn it on often. Maybe I could get used to seeing that Iwa-nin's death unfold, or the blood that my hands seemed to be coated in.
"Hey, Gai?" I asked in a small voice. "Did you kill somebody yet?" He nodded with a frown. "Unfortunately, I did. Back then, Genma-kun took his guard down around an ordinary bandit and that bandit's blade came centimeters away from slicing Genma-kun's neck. I panicked and kicked him as hard as I could, and the blow turned his head all the way around." he explained pensively, looking down at the ground.
"I wondered for quite some time if I did the right thing, but in the end, I figured that it did not matter." he started, "That person's death was an accident. It was tragic and needless, but if I stopped being myself and let myself forget about my goals and lose sight of my path, then his death would not only be a tragic accident, but it would also be in vain. The least we can do to honor the people we kill is to stay ourselves and live on with purpose and integrity." his gaze found my face.
"Daisuke, it does not matter whether that man was amazing or terrible or good or evil. As people who have killed others, we have a responsibility to those whose lives we have taken, and that is to keep living on and remember them for as long as we keep living." he declared passionately, raising his clenched fist.
"Honor the dead, huh?" I whispered to myself. I should remember him and I should remember his dying moments to honor him. I could still see everything that happened yesterday, as if I was looking at a video. The Sharingan would never let me forget it, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was my responsibility.
"Thank you, Gai." I said gratefully, looking at his smiling face. The world details grew out of focus and the minor burning left my eyes as I deactivated my Sharingan. His smile turned into his classic grin as he gave me a thumbs up. "No problem!"
"Do you want to try another light spar, Daisuke-kun?" he asked hopefully. I was way too tired for that right now. Holding the Sharingan was still something I wasn't used to, and my lack of sleep was starting to catch up with me at the same time. "I think I'm gonna go and take a nap, so I'll pass."
"Alright! Do not forget it is still the Springtime of our Youth! Be sure to make good use of your Youth tomorrow to make up for today!" He advised before going down to pushup position, "If I cannot hold this plank for an entire hour, then I shall sprint at top speed for two hours!"
I chuckled at the familiar display of his coveted 'Self-rule'. "Come to think of it, Obito-san isn't here today. I assume he's out on a mission," I assumed off-handedly. Gai got up from his planking position. Wasn't he supposed to hold that for an hour?
His eyes were more serious than before. "Obito-kun has left on a mission to the Kannabi bridge."
"Oh."
—-
Thank you for reading this chapter. It was quite the heavy chapter for sure! I had a lot of difficulty writing these scenes so I hope you liked them. As always, please tell me your thoughts, including criticisms you may have. I tried to make it all as natural as possible, and I'm really trying to bring my writing skills up a notch with these chapters!
By the way, I was bored and I read some of my older chapters for the first time since I initially "beta-read" them (not really a beta-read…). I found that the first 7 chapters kind of SUCK. like A LOT. If I was a random reader and I was curious and decided to open this page, there would be a good 50/50 chance of me dropping it cause of the writing. Feels super unnatural to me now. So that's why I'm going to do a little re-writing of those chapters while I'm writing the Kannabi bridge chapter. I'll try to re-write a decent amount up to maybe chapter 10, and from there I might change a few lines or something but nothing crazy. I'll update you guys on this process when I upload kannabi bridge, or you can see for yourself during the next few weeks. Honestly, I look forward to trying to tackle those old chapters.
I think I've gotten a lot better at writing over the last few months, but do let me know if you agree or not. Also, can someone tell me if they think I've characterized Izumi okay? I have the feeling that I haven't given her enough lines, but she has literally just grown out of being a toddler so I don't know… I want to do her character justice as she grows up, and I wanted to plant seeds of her future character. She is going to be involved with the plot as the story progresses. There are a lot of characters that I want to do justice and write correctly and it does make me slightly nervous but also excited. I have spent a lot of time brainstorming and I really want to make a unique fic here! My idea is that after Kannabi, 70-85% of the plot will be different from canon, but i've yet to work out everything, so who knows.
Anyway, Kannabi bridge, woohoo! I just realized that I kind of ramble in these end notes quite a bit so I got off topic. Kannabi next chapter will showcase Obito's growth under Daisuke and Gai's influence. To be honest, I haven't really said much about Obito's growth, but I plan to make it more clear in the next chapter during monologue sequences and action sequences, so anybody who's wondering about him will know.
Ramble ramble. I really hate how I dealt with Obito super early on, so that may change just a little bit. Hur dur
Byebye everyone! Hope you guys are looking forward to the next chapter and see you in March (probably Spring?)