Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 8
The sound of a pin dropping could be heard through the loft as the occupants listened for the sound of footsteps. Kate clutched the napkins she held tightly silently chanting "please, Mom; show them that you can do it…please." She detected the sound of heels against the floor outside the door and a moment later there was a soft knock on the door. She blew out a breath, a smile spreading across her lips as she and Castle both moved forward at the same time to answer the door; but Martha swept ahead of them, hurrying to beat them to it.
Martha pulled open the door with a flourish, her gaze raking over their visitor. "Well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence," she declared as Johanna's gaze met hers.
"Martha," Johanna said, her fingers curling around the strap of her purse.
"Johanna," the redhead stated.
"Am I late?" she asked; doing her best to keep her tone neutral as she tried to glance around Martha to seek out her daughter.
"No, dear; we're just expiring from the shock that you've actually shown up on our doorstep."
"Mother," Castle said as he appeared and gently nudged Martha to the side, his hand reaching for Johanna's arm. "Please let her come in."
"You did say 5:30, didn't you?" Johanna asked as she met his gaze.
"I did; and it's 5:30 now, you're fine," he told her. "The pizza just got here a few minutes ago. Are you okay with pizza for dinner?"
"Of course," she replied; a touch of unease filling her but she tried to squash it as Kate moved in her direction. "Hi, Katie."
"I'm glad you came," Kate said as she wrapped her in a hug.
"I should've called to tell you for sure," Johanna murmured.
She shook her head. "It's fine; Castle told you to just show up. Do you want to take off your jacket and hang up your purse, stay awhile?"
Johanna gave a nod, telling herself that she didn't feel Martha's blue eyes burning into her back as she handed her purse over to Kate and then shrugged out of her jacket.
"It's good to see you wear this," Kate remarked as she took the sky blue leather jacket. "It looks good on you."
She smiled. "I do like it; it keeps me warm better than I thought it would."
"Good," her daughter replied as she made her way to the closet to put away Johanna's belongings. "Did Dad get to Albany safely?"
"Yes; but he's not coming home tonight as planned," Johanna replied; a blue note in her tone as she delivered the news.
"Why not?" Castle asked, inserting himself into the conversation.
"Some of the meetings they were to have today got pushed to tomorrow," she answered.
"Was Dad prepared to stay over?" Kate asked; nudging her mother to a chair at the table. "Castle told me that you said he was due back around eight tonight."
"He took a bag with him just in case; but when I talked to him before lunch it seemed like everything was still going according to schedule but that changed during the afternoon," she explained.
Castle carried the pizza box to the table as Martha followed along with her glass of wine and the bottle. "If you want, you could stay here with us tonight," he offered.
She gave him a small smile. "I appreciate that offer but I'll be fine at home…I will take you up on the offer you made at lunch though."
"What offer is that?" Martha asked.
"I told her that if she wanted to join us tonight that I'd follow her home and make sure everything was alright since she's by herself," Castle answered.
Martha's brow rose as she regarded Johanna. "Darling, if you're afraid to go home alone, perhaps you need to find another therapist; obviously he isn't doing you any good."
"Mother," Castle said sharply as he opened the box on the table and lifted out a slice of pizza to put on a plate.
"What? It's only the truth," the redhead replied. "She's been going for quite some time; you wouldn't think she'd be harboring such fears any longer."
Johanna's foot tapped against the floor under the table. "I suppose it is ridiculous," she murmured. "I'll be fine; no need to see me home."
"No," Kate stated as Castle put a piece of pizza on her plate. "Castle said he'd make sure you got home safely and that everything was alright and you're going to let him do it like you agreed…because I'll feel better that way."
"The boss has spoken," Castle quipped as he placed a slice of pizza on her plate.
"Apparently so," she replied with a hesitant smile.
"Like she's really upset about it," Martha muttered.
"Mother; you're a bit crabby today," he remarked as he served her next. "What's wrong? Did you realize you were wearing last year's Valentino instead of something from the new collection?"
"I'm not crabby," Martha replied. "I'm just joining in the conversation."
"Join in a better way."
"Fine; Johanna, would you like a glass of wine?"
"No, thank you."
"Our vintage isn't good enough for you?" the actress asked.
Johanna gave her an odd look. "Excuse me?"
"Well I just assumed it probably isn't up to your lofty standards; nothing we do seems to be," Martha remarked.
"I have never said that," Johanna retorted; "And if you'll recall, I have drank wine here before. I declined your offer because I'll be driving home later."
"I don't think one glass will hinder that ability."
"I don't like to take chances."
Martha gave a short laugh. "Perhaps you should've taken that stance earlier in life and saved everyone a lot of worry and trouble."
"Martha," Kate said sharply.
"Would you like a glass of wine, dear?" she asked, her gaze shifting toward Kate.
"No; the wine is all yours tonight, and I'll thank you to…"
"It's alright, Katie," Johanna interrupted. "I know all about how Martha feels about me and it's fine. I'm just glad she's never been overly cautious; if she had been wary of taking chances then we might not have gotten Rick and that would've been a shame. I'd miss his books and his sense of humor and the light he brings to your eyes."
"I would miss me too," Castle quipped. "Coke, Johanna?"
"Yes, please."
"Kate?" he asked.
"Sprite."
"Are you insinuating that I was a tramp?" Martha asked.
"No; I was insinuating that you didn't use birth control; but we're all in agreement that we're glad for it."
"Uh huh."
"Anyway," Castle said as he brought the drinks to the table. "How was everyone's day?"
"I was in court the majority of the day and I'll be back there tomorrow," Kate replied.
"That's what happens when you're the best detective in the business," her husband replied.
"I wouldn't mind so much if Ryan and Espo would cut back on their whining about it," she remarked with a smile. "I always feel like a preschool teacher when we're in court together; reminding them to be quiet, quit fidgeting, and whatever else comes to mind."
"How are they?" Johanna asked.
"They're fine," Kate replied. "Espo was just asking the other day when you're going to send some treats in."
"In order to do that, I'd need to know what everyone wants," Johanna told her. "Maybe you should run a poll."
"I'll run the poll," Castle stated. "My vote is for brownies."
"I'd rather have cupcakes," Kate remarked.
"I could always just make you your own batch of cupcakes, Katie," her mother replied; "No matter what the results are of the treat poll."
"Sounds good to me; I could eat one right now."
"You should've said something the other night; I would've made you some."
"Or you could go to the bakery and buy some," Martha commented. "It's faster."
"Faster doesn't always mean better," Johanna remarked. "We believe in homemade in my family."
"Of course," the redhead replied.
"Mother, do tell us about your day," Castle said. "Surely there's some reason for your less than Martha fabulous attitude tonight."
"It's nothing worth discussing."
"Come on; out with it."
Martha took another sip of wine. "Benjamin isn't coming to my opening night."
"Why not?" her son asked.
"Something about some convention. What on earth do bakers have a convention about?" Martha demanded to know. "I thought that Benjamin appreciated the theater; he is an actor after all."
"Not a very successful one," Castle remarked; "Which is why he owns a bakery…and while I can't be sure why bakers would have a convention, most professions do have those things so it's not really surprising. Did you Google it?"
"I had Alexis do it; there is a convention…but why is it more important than me?" she asked. "It's not every night that I open on Broadway."
'That's true; but to be fair, Ben has been to three other Broadway openings, Mother. I don't think you can claim that he doesn't care; the man is besotted."
She scoffed. "Then you'd think he'd be there for this opening. It's the one that matters the most to me."
"Couldn't he go to the dress rehearsal?" Johanna suggested. "Then he'd be the first to see you."
"It's not the same," Martha stated. "A baking convention; who wants to bake all the time…except for Johanna," she said, waving a hand in her direction.
"You don't seem to mind the baking when you're bringing home free pastries," Castle commented. "For the love of God, don't dump him…I'm accustomed to my free morning doughnut now."
"We all are," Kate agreed. "I'm sure he'll come to the second show, Martha. I know you want him to be there opening night but I think he's very supportive of your career…maybe you should be supportive of his."
"Ditch opening night and go to the convention?" she asked after swallowing another sip of wine.
"No; by being understanding that sometimes he has to do something for his career," Kate told her. "He loves you; I'm sure he doesn't like to disappoint you."
Martha grew quiet and Castle eyed her warily. "Anything else you'd like to share, Mother?"
"No; I don't know why I bothered to tell you in the first place. Of course you're going to take his side, you're both men and you want free doughnuts."
"I'm sure he'll make it up to you," Johanna said; hoping to show that she could be supportive. "Maybe he'll surprise you."
Her comment was ignored as Martha gave her attention to her food. Johanna suppressed a sigh; she didn't know what else to say or do and she had a feeling that the woman would love to use her to take her bad mood out on…which would only provoke her temper and make everything worse. She was trying to show that she could be better than she had been but it wasn't easy…she still felt out of place there, unwanted and unwelcome beneath Martha's cool blue gaze.
Kate could hear her mother's foot tapping beneath the table and she was desperate to put her at ease. "What did you do today, Mom?" she asked.
"I had lunch with your husband."
She smiled; she had gotten a recap from Castle about that but she could pretend to be oblivious. "How did it go this time?"
"I thought we did fine," Johanna replied; "What do you think, Rick?"
"We did really well," he said with a nod. "Johanna was nice enough to allow me to question her about law firms of the 70s."
"What on earth would you want to know about that for?" Martha asked.
"Research, Mother."
"Oh, darling; stick to what you know. People like excitement, like from cops and spies; the law will be very dry reading. Don't do that to yourself."
"The law isn't boring," Johanna retorted.
"Well it's not terribly exciting."
"Broadway isn't always exciting either."
"Even on its most dry run day, it's more exciting than practicing law…and teaching it."
"Alright, ladies," Castle said; "Let's not have this battle again. Both professions have their share of excitement."
Both mothers fell silent and Kate took it upon herself once to draw her mother out. "So you let him pick your brain?"
"I just told him about when I worked for Roche; at least some highlights. I don't know if it was much help but I did my best."
"It was a lot of help; why do you think I took notes?" he asked. "I did a little writing when I got home; I'm planning on more later."
"I'm glad it was useful information, Rick."
"He'll probably want more of your stories now that you let him coax you into it once," Kate said lightly.
Johanna smiled a little. "I don't mind…it's good to remember that decade."
Kate nodded. "Yeah; you and Dad love to stroll down that section of memory lane."
"That's because it was the decade of us," she quipped; "We closed it out by bringing you into the world…although I was starting to think that maybe you had plans to stay in the womb until 1980."
She laughed. "I was out before Thanksgiving…but maybe I was comfortable in there."
"I'm glad you were," Johanna said with a laugh; "Because that last month wasn't very comfortable for me."
"Speaking of the 70s," Castle said; thinking maybe it was best to avoid pregnancy talk; "What was your favorite fashion item of the decade, Johanna."
"Go Go boots," she answered with hesitation. "I loved those; I had a pair in white and a pair in black."
"You didn't wear those to work, did you?" he asked.
"No; I wore heels to work. If I could've gotten away with wearing those certain boots once in awhile, I would have."
"What about you, Mother?" Castle inquired. "Any favorites from the decade?"
"I preferred the 80s," Martha remarked.
"Of course," he muttered; a feeling of exasperation growing in his gut. Why did he have to be tormented by one mother or the other? Why couldn't he have known ahead of time that his mother was in the foulest mood he had seen her in since her last divorce? He blew out a breath; whoever invented family dinners needed to appear in one of his books as a victim. Even if he had to write some sort of time traveling murder mystery novel to make it happen.
A tense silence fell over the table, with the exception of Johanna's foot tapping against the floor. Her tendency to tap her foot when nervous drove Castle crazy but he couldn't bring himself to say a word about it; how could he when he didn't blame her for feeling out of place in the face of his mother's bad mood and the apparent lack of comfortable dinner topics to discuss. She had shown up…it should've been their job to take the ball and run with it and yet they all seemed to be floundering. He doubted that she'd be back anytime soon.
"Must you do that?" Martha asked; her gaze upon Johanna.
"Do what?" Johanna asked.
"Tap your foot; it's grating on the nerves, dear."
Sometimes she was so focused on what was going on around her or dwelling on what wasn't happening that she didn't notice that she'd slip into that nervous happen of tapping her foot against the floor until it was brought to her attention. She forced her foot to be still and gave the actress an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize I was doing it. It's a habit that I've had since I was a child."
"I believe the proper term is a nervous habit," Martha stated. "I don't know what you're nervous about; were not going to hold you hostage."
"I never said you were."
"Does anyone want seconds?" Castle asked as he opened the pizza box once again.
Martha was still nibbling at her first piece but the other occupants of the table accepted a second piece and silence fell once more until the door of the loft opened and Alexis breezed in.
"Hi, pumpkin," Castle called out to her.
"Hey, Dad; what's for dinner?"
"Pizza," he answered. "Grab a plate and join us."
Alexis moved into the kitchen and grabbed a plate from the cupboard and headed toward the table but faltered when she saw Johanna in the seat next to Johanna.
"Hello, Alexis," Johanna said as she met her gaze; her foot tapping for a second before she caught herself and forced herself to stop.
Alexis gave a hesitant smile. "Mrs. Beckett."
Johanna forced herself not to react to the formal address; Alexis had finally started to call her by her first name before the fallout of their friendship. She had quickly been demoted back down to "Mrs. Beckett". She felt like she couldn't ask her to go back to calling her by her first name again…there was a boundary line firmly in place now and she had to remain behind it where she had been placed.
"How's school?" she allowed herself to ask; figuring that polite interest surely wouldn't step on anyone's toes.
"It's fine," Alexis replied, her gaze studiously on the pizza box that she was opening.
"That's good," Johanna murmured, seeing the tension in the girl's body language.
"Didn't you have a test today?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, I think I did well but I need to study for my chemistry test so I'm going to head upstairs and get started," she said as she quickly kissed Martha's cheek and then Castle's.
"You just got home," Castle said; "Eat with us first; we have company."
"I really have to study, Dad," she declared as she hurried away. "This test is half my grade."
Johanna sighed, if she hadn't been there, Alexis would've ate with her family before studying…if she really did need to study; but knowing Alexis, she most likely did have a test to concentrate on.
Castle's gaze shifted toward his mother-in-law. "She gets a little tense before a big test."
"She's tense because you didn't tell her about our dinner guest," Martha remarked.
"I'm sure that's not the case," Castle remarked.
"I'm pretty sure it plays a role," Martha replied. "That was a very nasty fallout several months ago. You probably should've sent her a text to give her a heads up."
"I didn't realize that I had the plague and that the public needed notified of the danger," Johanna remarked.
Martha took a sip of wine. "Well, darling, you have to know that your history of behavior is less than stellar. You want to blame everyone but yourself for it but it's on you."
"Not all of it," Kate interjected. "You're no saint yourself, Martha; so don't act like you're superior because you're not."
The actress smiled. "I can't wait to find out what the two of you want from her…because a few months ago you were both saying how peaceful it was that she was in London."
"We never said that," Castle remarked.
"Now, Richard; you know you did."
"It's alright if you did," Johanna remarked. "I found London quite peaceful as well...no wedding planning, no lack of respect…no overly dramatic actresses that think the whole world is their stage and they're the director, star and producer. Yes, London was very peaceful…perhaps you should make a trip there, Martha. I'm sure there's some show over there somewhere waiting on you to tell them how to do it right."
"What's the supposed to mean?" Martha asked.
Johanna met her eye. "I think you know…and if you don't at the moment, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually."
"I've got you figured out, Johanna; I can spot your game a mile away."
Johanna smiled. "No, I don't think you do have me figured out; there have only been two people capable of that feat; one is lying beneath a stone marked Naomi McKenzie and the other is spending the night in Albany. Trust me, you're not my mother and you're not my husband. I don't purport to know how your mind works and I'll thank you not to think you know it all about mine, because you don't."
The two women stared at each other for a tense moment before Martha shifted her gaze to her wine glass and brought it to her lips for a sip.
Johanna cast her gaze toward her daughter, looking to see how much anger would be upon her daughter's features but she found none, just an apologetic smile of Kate's lips as she bumped her foot with her own. Johanna curled her fingers around her daughter's wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze, letting her know that she was fine.
Castle blew out a breath as he looked at the occupants of the table. "Aren't family dinners fun?" he asked.
The women of the table glanced at him but remained silent and he grimaced slightly, thinking that maybe he shouldn't have voiced that opinion aloud.
When dinner was finished, Johanna reminded herself not to offer to clean up. Her need to adhere to her childhood teachings weren't worth the reactions it always seemed to provoke. It felt rude not to offer…but she could handle that better than the Suzy Homemaker jokes for the moment.
"Mom," Kate said, pulling her from her thoughts.
"Sorry, Katie; I guess my thoughts drifted," Johanna replied.
"You okay?"
"Yeah; I was just thinking about my class tomorrow," she lied. "We're starting the first case they're going to run through."
"I guess Rick picked a good time to want to sit in for research," her daughter replied.
"Yeah; I guess so."
"Do you want to watch Temptation Lane with me?" Kate asked, hoping to keep her mother from making a quick escape now that dinner was over.
Johanna had planned on heading home but if Katie wanted her to stay awhile longer she wouldn't refuse her. She couldn't shake the vibe that her daughter needed her…that there was some pull there, something her child hadn't expressed but was felt. She wondered if it had to do with their talk on Tuesday night when she felt like Kate was hinting that she was trying to start her family. Maybe she was worried about how long it might take or if it would happen…maybe she needed that quiet support that only a mother could give.
"Yeah; I'd like that…I always like when we get to watch it together," she answered.
Kate smiled. "Me too…reminds me of sick days and snow days when we'd both be home. Those were always good days…even the ones when we weren't feeling our best."
"Those were good days," she agreed. "I'm glad it's still on so we can still watch it together once in awhile."
Kate picked up her glass of Sprite and held out her hand. "Then let's go carry on our family tradition."
She smiled as she rose from her chair, grabbing her soda as she did so. "Aren't you going to wash the dishes?" Martha asked as she poured yet another glass of wine.
Johanna faltered for a moment; so much for hoping to avoid that issue. "I can if you want me to," she replied. "I don't have an issue with doing it."
"You may as well," Martha replied. "We wouldn't want you losing sleep over our dishes not being hand washed. Honestly; I could never fit the typical housewife mold."
"Maybe that's why you're divorced," Johanna said before she could stop herself.
Castle rose from the table. "How about I take care of the dishes; Johanna, you watch your show with Kate; and Mother, you lay off the wine for the rest of the evening; because when you drink when you're angry, you become mean Martha and she's no fun."
"Oh, Richard; who are you fooling?" his mother said. "We all know you're trying to suck up to Johanna although I don't know why. That's why you gave your little 'make her feel comfortable' speech when you told us that you invited her. Like it's our fault she acts the way she does. Johanna, let me give you a little unsolicited advice, darling; if you want to be comfortable in other people's homes, don't act like a snob."
"Martha," Kate said tartly as she stepped toward the table and snatched the nearly empty bottle of wine. "That's enough."
"I'm just telling her the truth."
Johanna smiled as she nodded. "Well, since you're such a fan of so called unsolicited advice, Martha, dear; if you want to hold on to a man, you have to show some interest in their career and hobbies…a little understanding and compassion; because when you don't, you just look very selfish and like nothing they have is as important as what you have. Men don't like that…and that's just the truth."
"Okay," Castle said, clapping his hands together. "That officially ends our dining segment of the evening; ladies, please go to your neutral corners."
"Sorry, Rick," Johanna replied; "I shouldn't have said that."
"I feel like you were justifiably provoked this time so we'll just say you're both even and move on," he told her as he took the bottle from Kate's hand.
"Come on," Kate said as she slipped her hand into her mother's. "Let's go watch our show."
"Maybe I should go home instead," she murmured as her daughter pulled her along with her.
"No; you're staying here and watching the show with me like you said you would."
"But Martha…"
"Martha's drunk," Kate stated; "And it's not her usual happy kind of tipsy. She's pissed off at Ben and wants to take it out on someone and she picked a bottle of wine and you…and I am sorry about that; I'm sure it's not what Rick had in mind when he invited you over."
"I know…I think my presence made Alexis uncomfortable too though."
"She'll get over it," Kate said; "This is my home too and I want you here, everything is fine."
"Okay," she murmured, remembering that feeling that her daughter needed her. "If you say everything is fine, then everything is fine."
"It is," her daughter replied, nudging her toward the sofa so that they could settle down together. "You'll feel better about it after we watch our show…and if you'd change your mind and would want to stay here tonight, you can."
"I appreciate the offer, sweetheart; but I can't stay this time. I have to work tomorrow and I don't have what I need to leave from here in the morning."
"Alright," Kate said, taking her hand for a moment and giving it a squeeze. "But if you need me, call…I know you don't like being alone at night."
"I'm totally alone; Scarlett's there," Johanna replied with a smile; recalling her son-in-law's statement earlier that day.
"Yeah, but I'm more fun than she is."
"Oh I don't know; I never could get you to chase a piece of string across the floor," her mother quipped, amusement sparkling in her eyes.
"Maybe not," she laughed; "But that's because we were busy playing Barbies and tea party."
Johanna nodded. "True."
Kate smiled and gave her attention to the television, locating her episode of Temptation Lane on the DVR. She could sense the unease in her mother's body and she wasn't sure how to go about making that feeling go away. Truth be told; she was surprised that she had really came on her own…that she agreed to stay for the show without much coaxing. Martha's bad mood had kept things off balance…but at least she was trying and that had to mean that Rick was making some small progress.
Johanna leaned back against the sofa with a soft sigh that she hoped her daughter hadn't heard. Martha had made it easy to remember why she didn't like to come to her daughter's home…too much bad blood and no way out of it. She could admit to herself that when she had been driving over, she had hoped that Martha would be out for the evening…but of course that wish hadn't been granted. She had gone in with good intentions; wanting only to show that she could give the effort that everyone claimed she lacked. She wanted to prove to Rick that she could accept and invitation without her husband along…that she did want to see her daughter in her home. She just hadn't anticipated that Martha would so obviously be spoiling for a fight…and she had that terrible habit of having to fight back when provoked…and Martha always easily provoked her.
She suppressed another sigh as Kate finally turned on their show. Alexis was still hiding upstairs and she figured she'd stay there until after she was on her way home. It stung a little…and it felt silly to be hurt by it. She wasn't anything to the girl…she had made her peace with the fact that she was to have no role in her life; that was just the way it was now. But still…it wasn't all that pleasant of a thought.
Of course it was hard to have pleasant thoughts when you had just set through a very tense, awkward feeling dinner, where no one had known what to say or do…with the exception of Martha who was only interested on inflicting her bad mood upon everyone. She knew she should've stayed home…but to do so would've looked like she was still being distance and all of those other things she was accused of being.
Some days she was just damned if she did and damned if she didn't.
After watching that day's episode of Temptation Lane, Johanna allowed Kate to coax her into staying awhile longer, watching some sitcom they found on TV as they continued to talk. Rick had retreated to his office after cleaning up from dinner, saying he'd let them have their girl time alone as he wanted to do some writing anyway before she was ready to go. Martha had retreated upstairs as soon as her son had headed for his office and Alexis hadn't reappeared from the sanctuary of her bedroom.
"What's on your mind?" Kate murmured, flicking her arm softly.
"What is with you and flicking me?" Johanna asked as she flicked her daughter in return.
She shrugged, a grin tugging at her lips. "It's fun."
"Uh huh."
"It is, trust me. But what's on your mind, you seem awfully pensive all of a sudden."
"Nothing worth discussing."
"Tell me anyway."
"I feel like I haven't done a good job tonight I guess," Johanna sighed. "You know I can't keep my mouth shut when I feel provoked."
"I'm pretty sure that's an inherited trait," Kate remarked; "But you let a lot of Martha's comments go tonight, I know you didn't want to fight with her…but I have a feeling that tonight she'd fight with anyone if it pleased her to do so."
"That's probably true; she was swimming pretty deep in that bottle."
She nodded. "It's been a long time since she's done that."
"Hopefully she'll work it out with her boyfriend and go back to her normal self."
"I hope it doesn't drag out too long…if it does, Rick will have to turn on that digital lock on the liquor cabinet that only we know the code for."
"She could always go out and buy her own bottle though."
Kate shook her head. "She's not inclined to go out when she's brooding."
"That's probably for the best," Johanna remarked.
Kate was silent for a moment before shifting slightly to face her mother better. "Are you really okay with Castle setting in on your class tomorrow?" she whispered.
She nodded. "As long as he follows the rules like the rest of the kids."
"You're not doing it because you think I'll be mad if you say no, are you?"
"No."
"Are you doing it so he won't be mad and add to that list of lunch topics?"
"No."
'Then why?' she asked softly.
"I'm just trying to be nice, Katie…because to hear everyone tell it, I'm the major bitch of this family and it's not the distinction I like best."
"No one has said that."
"Maybe not in those exact words but it comes through," she replied. "I know I'm not innocent but I'm the one who seems to get the job of carrying all the blame…and that's okay; I've had a lot of practice at that thanks to your grandfather…but I'm not a fan of being enemy number one so I'm trying, Katie."
"I know you are…and I know it's not all that easy for you," her daughter said.
Johanna gave her a small smile and patted her knee. "Most things aren't; it seems to be my lot in life but it's alright, I learn to manage."
"Maybe we can do better than just managing," Kate said, giving in to the need to sink against her mother's side, her head falling against her shoulder.
Johanna leaned her head against her daughter's, her hand finding hers and curling around it. "Are you sure you're feeling better, sweetheart?" she asked. "You're still looking a little pale."
"I'm fine," she murmured; her secret weighing heavily on her mind. She didn't want her mother to worry that there was something wrong with her.
"I don't know if I believe that; I was watching you at dinner…you were hungry and yet at the same time, you occasionally looked like you might be regretting that you ate."
"It's just a touch of a virus," she lied; "It lingers."
"Maybe you should go to the doctor."
"I did; he said I'm fine; that it can take awhile to fully recover from a flu like virus."
"Yeah; well if you aren't feeling better by this time next week; you need to get a second opinion."
"Don't worry, I'm fine. It's not constantly lingering…it's just once in awhile," she said. "I think it depends on what I eat…I probably shouldn't have picked pizza tonight but I was craving it."
"You must be on an Italian kick this week," Johanna said with a laugh.
"It must be that side of my heritage stirring in the veins," she replied. "Best way to honor it is by eating the food of the culture."
"That's true; but maybe you should take a few days off work so you can get over whatever virus this is; being around all those germs probably isn't helping."
"I don't need to take time off; I'm fine."
Johanna sighed. "Alright; be stubborn."
"My Dad tells me that I get that from my mother."
"He lies," she remarked; "You get it from him."
"Maybe it's both of you."
Her mother nodded. "Highly probable."
"How come it's probable for me to be like both my parents but it's not probable for you to be like both of yours?"
"It just worked out that way," Johanna quipped.
"You'd think you'd be open to saying you're like both of them so you could blame Grandpa for a trait occasionally."
"You mean like you blame all your bad traits on me?"
"That's Dad's fault; he said they come from you."
"Throwing your father under the bus, shame on you," she teased lightly.
"He should be used to it," Kate laughed. "But you know, you never blame a bad trait on Grandma…how come?"
"Because she was perfect," Johanna murmured. "Any bad thing about me didn't come from her…she did her best; and I wanted so much to be just like her but I never could quite grasp how to do it."
"I like you the way you are…but I know how you feel; all I ever wanted was to be like you," she whispered; that feeling she had carried all of her life springing to new life once her pregnancy had been confirmed. She couldn't imagine a better example of motherhood than her own mother who had somehow managed to juggle family and career and made it look easy. She wasn't sure she'd be able to live up to the example…wasn't sure that she'd have her patience and understanding…her gift with children.
"I've got bad news for you, sweetheart," her mother replied quietly. "According to your father, you are like me."
"How is that bad news?"
"Because you should probably be more like him…he's always had it more together than I have."
Kate shifted so that she could look her in the eye. "You went out of town once for work and left me home with him…he forgot to have someone pick me up from the bus stop after school; I had to use the key you hid outside to get in the house…where I was then alone for hours until he came home and found me trying to cook macaroni and cheese. I was seven…he didn't have it together that day. He didn't have it together the next day either."
"What did he do the next day?"
"We overslept and I was late for school, he was late for work…I didn't get any breakfast…he forgot to give me lunch money. He didn't help me with my hair. My teacher asked me if there was something wrong at home."
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her you had to go out of town for work and she said that explained it. He also bribed me for my silence so you wouldn't know how badly he didn't have it together."
Johanna sighed. "I had my suspicions that everything didn't run as smoothly as he claimed but I never knew how bad it was until you finally confessed a few years ago when I was living with you."
"Well at least you know he doesn't have it as together as you thought."
"Maybe not in that area; but in other aspects of life he's better at things than me."
"Not to hear him tell it," Kate remarked. "In his eyes, you're the one who has it all figured out."
"I think we're just good at figuring out each other," Johanna remarked.
'You've done fine tonight," her daughter assured.
"It was tense and awkward."
"Maybe one day it won't be…maybe we just need to practice."
"Any chance we could practice on a night when Martha isn't home?" Johanna asked quietly.
Kate laughed. "I'll see what I can do."
"It sounds terrible, doesn't it?"
"No…it's probably added pressure when you come to visit."
"Sometimes," Johanna admitted. "It reminds me of when my mother invited Colleen's in-laws to Thanksgiving dinner."
"It went bad?"
"According to what I heard it did," she remarked. "I bailed and went with your father to his parents house for dinner…which was also a mistake."
Kate glanced at her. "That's probably the Thanksgiving you got pecaned."
"Sure is…I usually just say poisoned but 'pecaned' has a good ring to it."
Her daughter laughed a little. "Maybe our family isn't good at the family dinner thing."
Johanna nodded. "It does seem that way. We must be cursed."
Kate took her hand. "We'll just have to reverse the curse."
She smiled and gave a nod as she'd be expected to do, but personally, Johanna wasn't sure that feat could be accomplished.
A short while later, Johanna glanced at her watch. "I better be getting home before it gets much later, Katie."
"I'll get Rick," Kate replied.
"He's working; we shouldn't disturb him. I'll be fine…I'll call when I get home."
"He said he'd go along…and you told him you'd take him up on that offer," her daughter stated. "If you change your mind now he'll think he did something or that it's because of Martha and he'll be up all night analyzing the cause. He'll keep me awake while he analyzes…and I need my sleep."
"I wish you had felt that way as a newborn," Johanna said lightly.
Kate smirked at her. "I stayed awake as a newborn so you could get all that mommy and me time that you could handle."
"Uh huh; I think you stayed awake because you were afraid you'd miss something."
"Maybe you just fascinated me."
Her mother laughed. "I remember one night when you were a month old; we were sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, waiting on the peppermint cake to bake because you were wide awake. I looked at you and said 'you hate me, don't you?' and you smiled…"
"I'm sure I only smiled because I thought you were being silly."
"Sure," Johanna quipped. "If that's your story."
"Just out of curiosity, how long did it take me to sleep through the night?"
"You were three months," her mother replied. "I woke up at five that morning and realized that you hadn't been up all night…and I went into panic mode thinking something must be wrong. I don't think I ever got up out of bed so fast in my life. I went running into your room and grabbed you up out of your crib and you were sound asleep…and then I woke you up with my crying."
"You cried?" Kate asked.
She nodded. "Yeah; I don't know exactly why…probably a mixture of relief that you were fine and had learned to sleep and my body being in shock that I had several hours of uninterrupted sleep…it was just one of those things."
Kate made a mental note to one day soon ask her mother how many of those types of things a woman could expect to have and remain in the realm of normal in the new mother scheme of things.
Johanna studied her daughter as she processed the information and she thought to herself that maybe she needed to be more careful when discussing babies and pregnancy. If Katie was thinking about starting a family, she didn't want to scare her with tales of sleep deprivation and mommy breakdowns; there'd be plenty of time to tell her about that when she became a mother. "Just so you know, the lack of sleep and the worry was worth it; I wouldn't trade a minute," she told her softly.
"I know that," her daughter replied. "I just hope that one day I'm as good at it as you always have been."
"You'll be wonderful," Johanna told her. "You just can't be too hard on yourself…and when you need help, you have to know that it's okay to ask for it and that it doesn't mean you're weak or bad at it or anything like that…just that sometimes you need back up."
Kate held her gaze. "One day…you'll be my back up, right?"
"I can promise you that," her mother said, leaning close to kiss her forehead. "Day or night; I'll walk out of work if I have to; I will come here in the middle of the night…like your grandmother did for me once the first time you were sick. I'll be here anytime you need me."
She nodded, doing her best to hold her emotions in check. "I'll get Rick so you can't get home…I'm sure Dad will be calling to say goodnight at some point."
"I hope so."
"I'm pretty sure it's a guarantee," Kate said as she got up and left the room to get her husband.
When she reached the office, she took a moment to study Castle as he worked; his fingers flying across the keys of his laptop. She smiled; noting that his brow was furrowed with concentration, pages of notes on the desk ready for a quick glance should he need them. She did hate to disturb him; she could always follow her mother home herself…but that wouldn't help Castle's cause…and he had volunteered. With that thought in mind, She knocked softly on the open door.
Castle's fingertips continued to dance across the keys as his gaze lifted to the doorway. "Is she ready?" he asked.
"Yeah; but I could go if you want to finish what you're doing."
He shook his head. "No; I made her a deal and I'll stick with it. Just give a minute to finish this scene and then I'll finish the chapter when I get back."
Kate smiled and gave him a nod and then moved back through the loft to where her mother was waiting. "He'll be out in a minute, he's finishing a scene."
Johanna got up from the sofa and followed her daughter to the closet to collect her belongings. "I hope the break won't keep him from getting back to his writing," she commented as Kate took her jacket from the closet and handed it to her.
"It won't; he seems to be in the zone today…it's good for him to take a break once in awhile."
She wasn't sure if her son-in-law would agree with that assessment but she wouldn't argue…she really did hate to go home alone in the dark. She was a grown woman; she shouldn't need someone to accompany her to feel safe…but she did…and if he wanted to do it, she'd let him; not only because she was trying to make the effort to be better but because she could feel safe if he saw her home.
"You okay?" Kate asked as she watched her zip up her jacket.
"Yeah; I'm fine," she answered; taking her purse and opening it to find her keys.
"You're sure you don't want to just stay here?"
Johanna nodded. "I'm sure; I've got to work tomorrow…and I wouldn't want your breakfast table to be as tense as your dinner table was tonight."
"It'll be different next time."
"It's okay if it's not," Johanna told her. "Give my regards to Broadway when she sobers up."
Kate laughed softly. "Mom."
She grinned. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."
"That's okay; that's kind of a good nickname for her."
"Yeah; but who knows what she'll come up with for me."
"You're ready to leave us already, Johanna?" Castle said as he made his way towards them.
"Yes, it's time that I get home," she answered. "Scarlett's probably lonely by now."
"We can't have that," he quipped as he took his coat from the closet.
"Make sure you tell fur ball that you were with me," Kate stated as she opened her arms to hug her mother.
"I told her before I left," Johanna said as she hugged her daughter tightly. "Thanks for dinner. It was good to see you again this week."
"It was good to see you too, I'm glad you came" she murmured, allowing herself to hang on to her for a few moments more. "I love you."
"I love you too," Johanna replied before kissing her cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know that your father got home safely."
"Okay," Kate said as she released her. "Make sure the doors are locked when you get home."
"I will."
"I'll make sure there aren't any monsters lurking," Castle said as he caught his wife's eye. "I won't leave until I make sure she's completely safe and sound."
She smiled at him. "I trust you to uphold your end of the deal."
He gave a nod. "I'll be back shortly."
Kate followed them to the door. "Goodnight, Mom."
"Goodnight, Katie," Johanna replied. "Take it easy this weekend so you can get over that virus you have."
"You have my word," she told her; catching Castle's gaze as she did so but his eyes quickly darted away as he opened the door for Johanna and gestured for her to go ahead of him.
Castle pulled in behind Johanna's car in the driveway, noting that she must've taken his advice and had left a light on as he could see light through the thin white curtain on the window of the back door. She had also left the dim porch light on as well. He shut off his car and got out, making his way to Johanna's door just as she opened it.
"Since you're here, Rick; I could unlock the garage and show you the Camaro," she offered; hoping it would serve as a small payment for following her home.
He smiled. "I'd like that."
She locked her car and made her way to the garage, Castle following behind her. "I'm afraid I won't be able to give you the technical specifics that Jim can," she said as she touched the keypad and put in the code that would make the door open. "But at least you can look at it."
"Jim can give me the technical aspects the next time I see him," he replied, following her into the garage.
Johanna clicked on the light and pushed the button on the wall to lower the garage door in case anyone was lurking around; she didn't want any of Jim's belongings stolen on her watch…or worse yet, something to happen to his prized Camaro. She moved to the car and pulled off the cover that Jim had put over it. "There she is," she announced.
"Oh wow," Castle said; his eyes moving over the car. "It's beautiful. Jim and his brother did a really nice job on this."
"It's their pride and joy," she replied.
"It's a 73 right?"
Johanna nodded. "Yeah; it's a 73…it's exactly like the one Jim had when we met; except this is a prettier shade of blue than Jim's original Camaro."
"This is a gorgeous color," he replied as he moved around the car, examining it. "It looks like the same shade that his new car is."
"It is; he loves that color…I guess you'd call it an ocean blue maybe?"
He gave a nod. "I believe so; can I open the door and get a better look inside?"
Johanna found the key on her key ring that Jim had given her and unlocked the car door. "You can sit in it if you want."
Castle eagerly slid into the driver's seat. "This is nice," he declared, looking over the black leather interior. His father-in-law had put a lot of time and money into restoring that old Camaro. "So this is the kind of car he had when you met?"
"Yeah…I call it Renee Jr," his mother-in-law said with a laugh.
"Renee?"
"Jim's first Camaro was named Renee…and she was blue; a sky blue to be exact. She was his baby…but he let me drive her sometimes even before we were dating."
"Really?"
"Mhmm," she murmured; a fond smile on her lips. "We had a lot of memories with Renee. Somewhere along the way, that first year we knew each other, he started offering to drive me to work and drive me back home…and by the time we were dating, he was driving me every day, unless we were fighting."
"You had to walk then?" Castle quipped.
"Yeah," Johanna laughed; "That was my punishment I suppose."
"Did he still have that car when you got married?"
She nodded. "We brought Katie home from the hospital in that car."
He smiled. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah…I guess you could say that Renee was with us for our milestone moments," she said with a smile. "Once Katie was here, we decided I needed my own car, especially when I was on maternity leave. So then Renee was back to being mostly just Jim's."
"How long did Jim have Renee?"
"Renee held on until 1986 and then the engine blew up…that was a long night," Johanna remarked.
"Did it leave you all stranded somewhere?"
"No; Renee loved us enough to die at home," she replied; "It was Jim's anguish that made the night long…it was like he lost a limb."
Castle laughed. "We have to have our cars, Johanna."
"Oh I know; you boys need your toys. But to tell you the truth; I was sad to see her go too…like I said, we had a lot of memories with that car."
"What did he get to replace it?"
"He got an Acura Legend; but he didn't like it…I liked it though; so after a year, he gave it to me and got a Buick…he wasn't crazy about it either."
"Why didn't he just get another Camaro?"
"He was having one of those 'I'm a family man, I should drive a family type car' moments. I kept telling him to get a Camaro but he wouldn't…I don't know, maybe he thought he was betraying his original Camaro; I'm not sure how you men deal with the loss of a favorite vehicle. Anyway, in 89, the Lexus came out and he liked it so he got one of those. I loved the Lexus."
"I think Kate told me that you had one when she was in high school."
"That's what I had when I had to leave," she replied; her gaze darting away from him. "Jim gave it to Katie; she totaled it."
"She didn't mention that."
"She hasn't mentioned it to me either," Johanna said; "And Jim's never given me the full story about it so I figure it's something I'm better off not knowing."
Castle nodded. "In that case, I'm not going to ask her about it…I'd be tempted to tell you."
"In that case, definitely don't ask."
"Deal. Has Jim taken you for a drive in this car yet?" he asked, his gaze studying the gauges on the dash.
"Yeah; he took me for a drive in it last weekend; it was like old times."
"Does it run good?" he questioned; his hands gripping the steering wheel, a part of him wishing he could take it for a test drive.
"Oh yes; it runs beautifully. Jim wouldn't accept anything else."
"Of course not," he said as he forced himself to get out of the car. "What's he going to do now that this project is finished? He might feel lost without it to work on."
"He won't," Johanna said as she picked up a corner of the car cover to cover it back up. "Andrew wants to get a 69 Mustang and restore it; they're all excited about it."
Castle grinned as he grabbed part of the cover and helped her put it back over the car. "How many cars do you think they'll end up with?"
"I don't know…but if he has to rent a garage at some point to keep them all in, then I never want to hear another word about my shoe collection," she declared.
He laughed as she opened the garage door and turned off the light. "Make sure this door is locked," he quipped. "I don't want anything happening to Renee Jr. because you let me in to take a look at her."
Johanna punched a code into the key pad outside the garage door. "It's taken care of, trust me, I don't want that happening either."
He followed her up the back steps to the back door, waiting as she unlocked the door. "I'll go in first," he told her; "I'll make sure the kitchen is fine."
She gave him a small smile and a nod, pushing open the door and standing back so that he could enter first. "Kitchen's clear," he said as she stepped inside and pushed the door shut.
"I know it's ridiculous to worry about it," Johanna remarked as she followed him through the kitchen and into the hallway.
"No; it's not ridiculous. You were right earlier; it's a dangerous world, you've had too many brushes and tonight you're alone…it wouldn't be normal if you weren't nervous," he said as he moved down the hallway and pushed open the door to the rarely used dining room and clicked on the light. The room was empty and he turned off the light and closed the door before crossing the hallway to the office. He repeated the same routine, walking into the room and making sure all was well.
With those rooms checked; he moved back up the hallway and headed for the living room, Johanna at his heels. She had left a lamp on in the living room and he scanned it quickly, finding nothing but Scarlett who got up from her bed and hurried to her owner's side with a meow.
"I'm home, Scarlett," Johanna said, leaning down to give her a pat. "I'm in for the night."
Seemingly satisfied with her owner's comments, Scarlett moved toward Castle and sniffed his shoes. "Hey, there, Scarlett," he said, bending down to pet her. "How are you doing tonight?"
The cat meowed at him and sniffed at his hands. "She's looking for a treat," Johanna told him. "She knows Katie brought food the other night so she assumes all guests bring food that they want to share with her."
He chuckled lightly and patted her. "Sorry; I don't have any treats today; maybe next time. Do you want me to check the upstairs?"
She hesitated for a moment but then nodded. "Yeah; if you don't mind."
"I don't mind," he replied as he rose and headed for the stairs.
Johanna followed behind him, watching as he stepped into the bathroom and flipped the light on and then moved down the hallway. He checked Kate's old room first and then the guest room before stepping into her bedroom and finding the light switch on the wall. He looked over the room, seeing that nothing seemed out of place and stepped back into the hallway.
"Good news, no monsters," he declared.
She gave him a small smile, still feeling ridiculous for the nerves she always had when she was alone at night. "Thank you for coming with me and making sure."
"It wasn't a problem," Castle said as they made their way back downstairs. "Are you going to be alright here alone?"
"I'll be fine…I'm here by myself all week when he goes on his hunting trip."
"But you don't like it."
Johanna shrugged. "It's not that I'm afraid to be here, I'm not…if I'm here all day and don't go out, it doesn't bother me. It's when I go out and come home in the dark by myself that it makes me nervous."
"You could always just come stay with us," he offered once again.
She shook her head. "I appreciate the offer but I'll be fine…I can't get in that habit and I don't want to leave Scarlett alone."
"You can bring her with you."
"We'll be fine," she said as she scooped up her pet who was rubbing against her leg with a purr. "Besides, I don't think Martha and Alexis would be thrilled with the arrangement."
So that's what it was, Castle thought to himself. It wasn't him this time that had made her uncomfortable in his home…it was the women of the household; with the exception of Kate. His mother had done an admirable job and confirming that she did indeed view Johanna as an adversary. He had to give Johanna credit though; she hadn't struck back as much as she could have.
"I'm sorry about, Mother," he said; "I guess her disagreement with Ben soured her mood for the foreseeable future."
"It's alright…Martha and I just have clashing personalities."
"You used to be friends though…or at the very least, friendly."
"Things happen," Johanna replied. "I don't want you to think I hold anything between your mother and I against you, because I don't…we just don't mesh well and I guess it makes dinners awkward."
"You did fine," Castle said. "We're just glad you came."
She nodded as she held Scarlett close to her chest. "I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but I wanted to show you that I am open to showing some effort."
Castle shifted on his feet. "I'm sorry that Alexis didn't say much to you when she came in…I see what you mean about that."
Johanna conjured up a small smile. "It's alright…maybe it's better that way."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because she'll think twice about taking her problems outside of her immediate family next time. She'll go to you like she's supposed to or Martha…or her stepmother; hopefully she knows that Katie is always a good option if it's something she's uncomfortable sharing with you."
"But you're a part of her family too," he remarked.
"Not really," Johanna said; "And I'm not saying that to be mean…just that it would be different if she was a little girl; then there would be an obligation to fill a grandparent role; but she's in college and has a grandmother…she doesn't need me…and I have three classes full of college kids who want me to solve their dilemmas on occasion so…it's okay."
"If it was really okay, you wouldn't always look so hurt when it's mentioned," her son-in-law remarked.
"I can't deny that it was hurtful when all that happened…but it's always best to know your place when you accidentally step out of it."
"I see we're going to have to get back to our list topics very soon," Castle remarked.
"That's not as much fun as the 70s," Johanna replied.
He smiled. "Don't worry; I'm sure I'll have plenty of things to ask."
"You still won't give me any hints though?"
"Not yet."
"Fine, be that way."
Castle laughed. "I'll give you a nice note in the acknowledgements for your help with research."
She smirked at him. "Just keep in mind that I always read the acknowledgments first."
"That's good to know," he quipped. "I guess I better head home…if you need anything, give us a call."
"I will, thank you."
"Oh, and I'll see you in class tomorrow," Castle remarked as they drifted back to the kitchen so he could go out the back door.
"I'll be there," Johanna replied. "Don't be late."
"I usually made it a habit to be late to class but since it's you, I'll be there on time."
"Mother-in-law privilege?"
Castle grinned. "Sure is; see you thought there weren't perks to this job and there are."
"When do we get to the good ones?" she asked.
"As soon as we figure out what they are," he replied as he pulled open the back door. "Lock up; I'll see you tomorrow."
"I will, be careful getting home."
"I always am," Castle said as he stepped outside. "See you tomorrow."
Johanna said goodnight and closed and locked the door behind him. She shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair before grabbing her purse from the table and moving toward the fridge to grab a drink. "Come on, Scarlett; let's make sure the other door is locked and head upstairs for the rest of the evening."
The cat followed along with her, giving her the occasional meow as she made sure the house was locked up tight. "I know you're unhappy with me for being out so much today," Johanna said as she glanced down at her companion; "But it can't be helped. People have a low opinion of me and I have to do better apparently…even if it is awkward and uncomfortable."
Johanna had been settled into bed for the past hour, watching TV, when her phone rang on the nightstand. She reached for it, smiling as she saw Jim's name on the screen. "Hi, honey," she answered.
"Hey, sweetheart," Jim replied. "What are you doing?"
"Laying in bed, watching TV…missing you."
"I miss you too," he told her. "I'd much rather be home with you instead of in this hotel room."
She smiled. "Or I could be there with you…we've been known to have fun in hotel rooms."
"That's true," he chuckled. "Now I miss you even more."
Johanna laughed softly. "Did you get dinner?"
"Yeah; we were going to eat in the hotel dining room but then we saw the prices and decided to go out for fast food."
"That bad, huh?"
"Oh yeah; they even charge for water here. Zach said he'd rather starve if this was the only option."
"That's pretty bad," she replied. "Where did you two end up?"
"Burger King," Jim answered. "What did you have for dinner?"
"Pizza."
"Frozen, homemade, or delivery?"
"You know I wouldn't make homemade when you weren't here to share it with me," Johanna remarked. "It was delivery."
Jim was quiet for a moment. "You decided not to go to Katie's for dinner?"
"I went," she replied.
"You did? You were still undecided this afternoon."
"I know; but I'm trying to be better…I don't like always being made out to be the bad guy. Everyone has blame but I'm the one who always gets to carry the blame."
"I know," her husband murmured. "How did it go?"
Johanna sat up and propped her pillows up against the headboard before leaning back against them. "It was alright…Martha wasn't thrilled with my presence."
"What did she say?"
She gave him a synopsis of Martha's comments and her bad mood due to her boyfriend.
"Did Katie say anything to her?" Jim asked.
"She started to but I cut her off; I don't want to cause problems between them…especially since Katie has to live with her."
"Understandable; although you'd think she'd get her own place now that Katie and Rick are married."
"I know; but then she'd be alone and that isn't appealing when you're used to living with someone," she remarked. "She's probably better off being there where Rick can keep an eye on her…her last husband did run off with all of her money."
"That's true; she probably should stay there. Was Alexis there?"
"She came in, saw me, headed upstairs to eat her dinner."
"Hmm; the usual quick hi and bye and avoidance?"
"Yeah," Johanna said; "But I guess that's my fault though. I shouldn't have gotten involved."
"Sweetheart; you didn't seek her out. We found her outside our house; she had just gotten done tutoring that kid up the street. She was burn out, tired, lonely…she needed a friend. We didn't take her in to take over a role; we let her in because she needed someone that she wouldn't feel like she was disappointing. That first time she was there, all you did was feed her, offer the guest room for the night, which she took, and took that bag of laundry she was carrying around and washed it for her while she was asleep."
"I know."
"You didn't do anything wrong. All we did was offer her a place to come when she needed it; and she took us up on that offer on the days she tutored that kid. She didn't want to go home to that apartment of hers and be alone. She needed to talk and you listened, you counseled, you were encouraging her to go to Rick and tell him that she wanted to come home. She wasn't ready yet but she was getting there when he had his fit about all of it. Even Katie didn't like how all of that went down."
"I know; it's just…I don't know how to explain it. I guess it's just difficult because they want to act like I've never made an effort to be a part of things; that I've shunned his family and it's not true. I felt like Alexis and I were getting to know each other and that I was making a connection, although that wasn't my intent. My main intent was to make sure she was safe and okay and that she had someone willing to listen in the way she needed."
"I know you didn't have any ulterior motives in befriending Alexis; I liked having her around too…we were making her a part of our family and it was like that was frowned upon. I know how much it hurt you; that you weren't trying to be her parent or grandparent. You were just being her friend and now she barely even acknowledges you because she's probably afraid making trouble for you and herself," Jim remarked. 'That one isn't on you, Jo. You didn't do anything wrong."
"But that doesn't seem to make anything better, does it?"
"Maybe it will be one day," he replied. "I guess we'll have to find some way to manage. For the moment, Katie and Rick want us to be more involved, although we don't know why that's of sudden importance. We know Martha isn't a fan and that Alexis wants to keep her distance…so we'll just have to find some middle ground that makes everyone happy."
"By we you really mean me, right?" Johanna asked.
"No; we're a package deal as always," her husband replied. "You're just the one they're picking on."
"How did I get to be so special?" she quipped.
He gave a soft laugh. "You're just lucky."
"I've only really been lucky twice…when I caught you and when I got my little girl," she murmured.
"Three times," Jim replied; "When someone saved you so you could come back home to us."
She nodded, her hand holding onto to the phone a little tighter. "You're right; three times…three wishes come true."
"Everything will work out," he told her.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you're my girl…you always get where you need to be."
A small smile touched her lips as she swallowed back the emotion that swept over her at those words. "You're coming home tomorrow?" she murmured.
"I'll be home in time for dinner tomorrow, sweetheart; I promise."
"I'm going to hold you to it," Johanna said, forcing some lightness into her tone despite how much she missed him at that moment.
"You do that; I'll be there. Did you make sure the doors were locked?"
"Yeah; Rick followed me home and made sure everything was alright. I double checked all the locks after he left."
"I'm glad he followed you home and made sure everything was fine…I'm glad you let him."
"Well, you know I don't like to be out alone at night."
"I know."
"I showed him the Camaro; you'll have to fill him in on the technical aspects…you know I only get as far as the make and year."
Jim gave a quiet laugh. "What did he think of it?"
"He likes it; I think if you would've been here he would've asked to take it around the block."
"I'll make him a deal; he can drive it around the block if I can drive his Ferrari around the block."
"I'll mention that to him," she replied.
"You do that; it might make him a little more patient with you."
"Every little bit helps…but we did better today."
"Are you letting him in your class tomorrow?" Jim asked.
"Yeah…I didn't see any reason not to."
"Well that should prove that you're open to things like they want; shouldn't it?"
"I hope so," she replied. "What time is your first meeting tomorrow?"
"It's supposed to be at 8:30 and then the other one is at 12:30. We'll leave as soon as it's done. I'll let you know when we're heading back."
"Alright; I'm glad you'll be back tomorrow."
"Me too. Is Scarlett camped out in my spot?"
"No," Johanna replied with a laugh as she glanced across the room. "She's asleep on her blanket on the chair."
"Good; she remembers the rules," he quipped. "Although I'm glad she's keeping you company."
"She always does."
"I guess I better go so we both can get some sleep," Jim said reluctantly. "I'll call you before you leave for work."
"Alright; you boys behave yourselves."
"We'll try," he said lightly. "Don't work those kids too hard."
"Then what's the fun in going to work?" Johanna teased.
"Good point. Be careful in the morning."
"I will," she promised. "I'll let you know that I got to work safely."
"I appreciate that," Jim said honestly. "I love you."
"I love you too; goodnight, honey."
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
They ended their call and Johanna laid her phone back on the nightstand before sliding back down in her spot, turning onto her side and pulling Jim's pillow close. She breathed in his scent, hating that he was away…hating that she was alone for the night. She couldn't dwell on those thoughts though; she had to keep her mind occupied with other things…like guessing the topic of Rick's next book and figuring out what he and Kate were up to…and trying to find that middle ground Jim spoke of. She blew out a breath; none of those thoughts would lull her to sleep anytime soon.
Castle was struck by a thought as he laid awake late that night. "I know what to do," he declared.
Kate flinched as the sound of his voice jolted her from the wave of sleep that had been pulling her under, making her frown. "What are you talking about, Rick?" she asked sleepily.
"I know how to win her over."
His wife rolled over to face him. "I thought you said it was a successful lunch today?"
"It was; we didn't discuss anything important but it was informative."
"It must've been; you took notes."
"Research."
"I know," she said with a sleepy smile. "You wrote a lot tonight…for both books."
"Was I neglecting you when I got home?" he teased.
"No; but I like to watch you work sometimes," she murmured. "You're so focused…it's like you're right there in their world with them, writing down everything they think or say or do. You're different when you're working; very quiet and still…except your fingers of course; they were flying across the keys tonight."
"It's a turn on, right?" Castle quipped.
Kate laughed softly. "Most things about you are."
"Only most?" he asked dramatically to make her laugh.
"That's the best answer you're going to get," she teased before turning serious. "I'm sorry about earlier…"
Castle shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry for, I understand that you aren't feeling well."
"I know you do," she sighed; "But when your husband is being romantic and you have to throw up, it makes you feel bad."
He gave her a smile. "At least you had to throw up before we got too far…if you had to throw up in the middle…"
Kate nodded. "That would've been worse."
"That would've boarded on tragedy," he quipped; "But I still would've understood."
She captured his lips in a soft kiss. "I know you would've…and most likely never let me live it down."
"True," he laughed.
She swatted his shoulder but moved into his arms. "So much for the term morning sickness."
"It does seem to bounce between morning and night. How are you feeling now?"
"Still nauseated but not as bad as earlier."
"Good…so do you want to hear about my idea."
Kate angled her head to glance up at him. "Probably not but I'm sure you're going to tell me anyway."
"To win her over, I have to give her something that she doesn't have that she wants."
"We've got that covered," she replied; "She's just going to have to wait until May for delivery of her sought after grandchild."
"Yes; that's the big thing; I'm talking about something else."
"Castle, my mother doesn't want you to buy her off; she took the Coach gift card because I tipped her off and told her not to refuse it."
"No; I'm not talking about more gift cards…and so much for your claim that you can keep a secret."
"You didn't say it was a secret," Kate remarked. "So since grandchild is covered, although she doesn't know it yet, and you're not buying gift cards; what is it that you think she wants?"
"Her sister," he replied as if it was the simplest answer in the world.
Kate shifted, propping herself up on her elbow so that she could meet his eye. "Castle, no."
"What do you mean, no? You haven't even heard the idea."
"If it involves Colleen; it's a bad idea."
"No, it's not; your mother admitted that they have a small amount of contact."
"Yes; that she allows Colleen to instigate…and she never says much about it; so I'm not sure if it's good contact or not."
"But we do know that some of the reason for Colleen's behavior is her husband and his controlling ways; he doesn't approve of what your mother did…so even if her sister has softened, which could be possible; she may not act on it because of her husband."
"And if you're wrong?"
"I don't think I'm wrong…or she wouldn't let your mother get away with leaving things on her porch."
"Castle," she sighed; "Mom and Colleen…it's just a very delicate thing that seems practically non-existent. I know Mom misses her; that's her baby sister, she's always going to love her no matter how many times she hurts her…because that's how my mother is. She just doesn't know how to turn off those feelings. So yes, she bakes Colleen the birthday cake that Grandma always made her and she puts it in a container, tapes a card to the lid and leaves it on the porch…then rings the doorbell and leaves. At Christmas she bakes Colleen's favorite cookies and goes through the process again. Personally, I think it's not the best thing for her to do, because it has to continue to be some form of rejection and disappointment for her."
"But the containers always come back with a note inside…and like I said, they have minimal contact."
"Yes, I know; and I reminded you that we don't know what that contact entails…because she keeps it to herself. I'm not even sure she tells Dad everything about those occasional messages. You can't go messing in this area; this area is a minefield…you can't go walking through it."
"I just want to talk to her…see if I can sway her to actually see her sister face to face; I could invite her to one of the lunches."
"No!"
"It can't hurt to try," Castle exclaimed. "Don't you think your mother would love to have her sister back?"
"Yes, of course; but you can't get involved in that…and I honestly don't think it's ever going to happen. Please don't tread into that territory."
"But what if I can…"
"But if you make it worse?" Kate asked; "Do you think that's going to help your cause?"
"That's why I'd have to be careful."
She sighed deeply. "Rick; you don't need to make some big grand gesture to my mother. All you need to do to make her feel better around you is to relax and quit doing the things you've done in the past that have caused the discord…you know, like judging her decisions…telling her that she's the cause of every bad thing in my life, telling her all of her faults and flaws, comparing her to your mother…all of those kinds of things, just stop doing those. You told me about the lunch you had today…today is where you found the key to make her relax, to be herself…you show an interest, a real interest. You asked her about her career, let her tell her stories, you engaged in a normal conversation with her that was free of confrontation. The Johanna Beckett you had lunch with today is the real Johanna…the one who can talk for hours if she's just comfortable enough and the topics are pleasing; not that she can't handle serious subjects; she can, they just have to be broached the right way. But my point is, today was a good place for the two of you and you should concentrate on keeping that momentum…she actually showed up for dinner tonight; she let you follow her home like you offered, she showed you the Camaro; she did agree to let you set in on her class tomorrow and that's not a decision she would've made lightly."
"I'm aware of that…but I feel like this is just a small beginning and if I could give her something to show that I really do listen and care, it might help things along even more."
"Then let's just tell her about the baby; she will be overjoyed."
"I'd feel better if we stuck to our original plan for that."
Kate eyed him. "Castle; I'm serious, do not go looking for Colleen. You will end up undoing the work you've done so far. I know there are things you want to clear up with my mother, you want things to be better; I do too. So why don't you just concentrate on a balance…maybe you can talk her into two lunches a week; use Tuesdays as the clear the air session and Thursday as the more relaxed, get to know you better session like you agreed to from what you told me."
"I'm not sure she'd go for that, we made the agreement that Thursdays could be used if Tuesdays went badly…if Tuesday doesn't go too badly, she might not agree for a Thursday that week," he replied.
"She's been agreeing to everything so far."
"For you."
"I can persuade her if it helps," Kate answered. "It's a wonderful thing you'd want to do, giving her back her sister, but it's a little too big of a thing for you to get into. Colleen's…well…she's like one of those people with multiple personalities; one day she's fine and loving and caring…next day she's a self absorbed bitch…she leans heavy on the bitch days."
"Maybe I could charm her. Do you think she'd like an autographed book?"
She blew out a breath of exasperation. "I'm not sure if she reads your books or not, Castle."
"Doesn't matter; I can make her a fan later."
She caught hold of his chin and forced his gaze to her face. "Are you listening to me at all?" she asked. "I said let it be; do not go looking for Colleen."
"Alright," Castle replied; thinking to himself that he didn't really have to look for Colleen; he remembered Johanna mentioning what decorating firm her sister worked for; he already knew right where to find her.
"You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" his wife asked.
"Of course not; have I ever?"
Kate's brow rose. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Not really…but we should get some sleep; you'll need to throw up in a few hours, you should be rested; and I have a class to attend."
"Oh God," Kate said as she rolled back onto her side. "You're going to do something stupid; I can feel it."
"I'm not going to do anything stupid."
"I feel like I may have to throw up sooner than I thought."
Castle rolled over and wrapped his arm around her, his chest warm against her back. "Don't worry; everything is fine…I've got it all under control."
"Why do I feel like I've gone to sleep with happier thoughts?" Kate muttered.
"Because you have…and I wanted to give you those thoughts earlier but apparently we made our child sick…or it's exhibiting traits of your mother, not sure which…maybe both."
She couldn't help but giggle a little. "But we're going to love it anyway."
"Right; nothing but love for Baby Castle," he replied, pressing kisses against her hair as his hand slid across her stomach. He fell silent so that his wife could get some sleep…but he was still plotting his next move despite her advice.