Tuesdays with Johanna

by evitascarlett

A Redemption Universe Story: Rick Castle is determined that despite a multitude of misunderstandings and wounded feelings, Johanna Beckett is going to be his "third time is a charm" type of mother-in-law…whether she wants to be or not; because he wants his family to be completely healed and happy before Johanna uncovers the underlying reasons for his mission. CastleFicathon2018

19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 19

Late Thursday morning, Johanna was sitting at her desk in her office at Columbia, pondering the lunch date she was supposed to have with her son-in-law at noon. She sighed softly, allowing her pen to fall from her fingers and onto her notebook. She didn't want to go. Their Tuesday meeting with his incessant picking at old wounds had left her out of sorts this time. Jim had helped her push past the majority of the bad feelings that had been unleashed; but she was still sorting through a few…working on shoving them back into the box they belonged in so she could put them away once again. She was wary too; she wasn't sure she could trust Rick to let the issue of the infamous hospital debacle rest.

Her son-in-law was pushy when it suited him…and it always seemed to suit him when he was near her. All the things they could talk about and he had to pick that one; he just couldn't let it where it belonged. He couldn't let go of anything…just like he often accused her of doing. They could've talked about the baby…she had firmly been in the bubble of impeding grandmother-hood happiness; she would've been thrilled to talk about names, nursery colors, little baby shoes…anything baby. But no; he had to pop her bubble…make her question things…make her hurt all over again.

And for what?

Johanna drummed her fingers against her desk for a moment; for his so called mission of family unity…unity that he wanted on his terms and having nothing to do with the baby that would be coming into their world come May. He didn't seem to understand that unity wasn't something you forced. Sometimes you just had to make quiet effort, let the dust settle, let it happen in its own time and way…and if a baby brought that unity, there wasn't anything wrong with that. It didn't mean that it was for the wrong reasons. All it meant was that people of varying opinions and feelings all agreed to love one tiny being no matter what. The baby was common ground…just as her own baby had been her common ground with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth would've beaten her with a skillet before being dragged to 'be a better mother-in-law' lunches. There hadn't been any need for that between them; they hadn't tried to change each other…but then Katie had came and things changed little by little and they found a way to work. They had good times…they had still had bad times…but they managed. There was unity. There was happiness. There was even their own brand of love for each other mixed up in all the other things they inspired in each other.

Her son-in-law just needed to relax; he needed to let past incidents in the past. He needed to get over this need to rehash every single thing that had been said or done since her return from Wyoming. She didn't have to wave pom poms to prove that she had no issue with him being in her family did she?

Johanna sighed; some days she just didn't understand what he wanted from her. She tried to mind her business, not be too invasive when it came to her daughter's marriage…tried to mind her place in the new scheme of things. She didn't like having to rehash everything…especially wounds that ran deep like that damn hospital incident and she just wasn't sure she could trust him not to bring it up again today.

He had broken her trust before…when he went to Colleen and botched the miniscule relationship she had with her sister. She frowned; she had checked their secret email account that morning and Colleen still hadn't responded to any of her messages…she was sure that she never would now. But she wouldn't mention that to him; it was done and that was all there was to it. She wished he could take that stance about past events.

The clock at the bottom corner of her computer screen turned, reminding her that the lunch hour was drawing closer and closer with every minute. She just didn't want to do this today. She didn't feel that she should have to do it. She didn't like being told that she had to be somewhere she didn't want to be…didn't she already fight that war with Katie a few years ago? Hadn't she made it clear that she didn't like being told what to do, where to go, how to act, how to feel?

Johanna took a breath; she wasn't going to do it today. She needed time. She needed some space from her son-in-law and his agenda. She also needed an excuse to give him. Looking at the sack of work on her desk and her open laptop, she had plenty of excuses. She needed to post a quiz on her class site. She needed to type and print out hard copies of further instructions for the group project. She still had a few papers to finish grading; lesson plans to go over. She had plenty of reasons to stay in her office for awhile longer today.

With that thought in mind, Johanna grabbed her phone and tapped out a text to her son-in-law. "Not going to make it to lunch today. I'm swamped with work at my office. Sorry. Catch you next time."

She pressed send and felt a weight lift off of her shoulders. Now she could breathe easier…now she'd be able to concentrate on her work and get it done. She'd have the space she needed and she'd be ready to face Rick again come next Tuesday if he insisted on carrying on his campaign. He'd probably be a little miffed but she wasn't lying, she did have work to do and she wanted to get it done. She sent another quick text to Jim, letting him know that she had canceled for lunch and that she'd be staying in her office for awhile longer. With that taken care of, she laid her phone down and picked up her pen so she could get back to grading papers.

---

"Oh look," Castle said as he read the message on the screen of his phone. "Your mother is bailing on me."

Kate glanced up from the file she was studying. "What?"

"Your mother is bailing on me," he repeated.

"Does she say why?"

Castle handed her the phone so that she could read the message herself. "She's working," Kate replied; "That's a legitimate excuse."

"Seems kind of convenient, don't you think? I told you about what happened on Tuesday."

"I know…and I told you that she might need some time. That was a very difficult time for her, Castle; she doesn't like to talk about it. You should've dropped it as soon as she asked you to."

"That's why nothing ever gets resolved," he replied. "Nobody in your family ever wants to talk about anything."

Kate's eyes narrowed at him. "Maybe we have reasons for not wanting to talk about certain things; did you ever consider that?"

"Yes…but that incident we discussed Tuesday bothers me so I want it cleared up."

"Castle; you're just going to have to learn to make your peace with that…and you're going to have to respect her need not to discuss it further. You can't change what happened; you can't change what you said to her that day and she's never going to forget it. You apologized, she accepted; and she's asked you not to bring it up anymore. So just respect that and move on. I talked to her yesterday and I could tell she was still bothered by it a little, so please, please, don't bring it up again the next time you see her."

"That's why she's bailing on me…she's going back behind the wall."

Kate met his eye. "She said she's working."

"Do you really think she's suddenly got a massive amount of work to do when she usually only spends a couples hours in her office on Thursday mornings?"

"It's not unlikely; she does have three classes full of kids."

"She's avoiding me."

She rubbed her fingers against her forehead. "You only have yourself to blame on that one. When she asked you not to go to that topic and seemed adamant about it, you should have listened. You're so big on wanting to fix everyone else's problems that you forget to fix your own…you need to work on listening."

He sighed. "I didn't think she'd get as upset about it as she did; that's why I pushed. I just thought it was her usual, 'I don't need to discuss it' type thing."

"Well it wasn't; that one is off limits…and thanks so much for dimming her happiness this week. You really know how to take the wind out of a girl's sails, Castle."

"Is that the hormones talking?" he asked lightly.

"No; this is me growing tired of you botching your own mission and then getting offended when people need space from you."

"I intended to apologize but I can't do that when she bails on me."

Kate sighed. "Castle, did you really think there wouldn't be a time when she wouldn't bail on you? I think you're lucky that it hasn't happened before now."

"She doesn't make this easy," he muttered.

"Neither do you," she reminded him. "You could've just let her be happy that day. Maybe you should ask yourself why you had to take that from her. There was only one topic she cared about that day…she even had that little gift for you."

"I know," Castle replied.

"It should've meant something to you."

"She didn't give it to me until she was leaving."

"It doesn't matter when she gave it to you; the fact that she gave you one at all should've meant something…you know, like that acceptance that you claim she doesn't give you? But no, you haven't thought about what it meant at all."

"I did send her a text to thank her but she didn't respond."

"I'm not surprised. You got into her head this time…in places that need to be left alone for her sake and everyone else's. From what I heard from my Dad, and if you repeat it, you'll regret it like I told you last night; you had her wondering if the baby would be safer if she kept her distance. That's a really nice sentiment to inspire in her the day after she gets the news."

"I told you I was sorry!" he exclaimed in a hushed voice. "I didn't think she'd take the conversation down that road of thought."

"How can she not when she's sitting there wondering if she has more enemies thanks to you bringing up a conversation where you asked her for a list of them!"

Frustration flicked across his face. "I just wanted to talk about it so she'd know that I was sorry and that I wasn't really thinking when I said those things to her."

"No; it wasn't for her, it was for you," Kate remarked. "You had to drag it up for yourself because you can't let that one go…but you know what, you're going to have to live with the guilt you have for that one, Castle. Making my mother accept apology after apology and rehashing it fifty times isn't going to change it; it's not going to make either one of you feel better. All it does is make her feel worse. You're just going to have to carry that one."

"I thought it would be easier to carry if we discussed it."

"Well now you know it wasn't a good idea. She has her limits; just like I do. There are things I don't like to talk about and I don't being brought up."

"Yes, I know," he stated. "I sometimes feel like the Beckett women should've came with an instruction book."

Kate's brow rose. "You didn't have to marry into the family; you're the one who proposed."

"Yes; because I love you."

She gave a nod. "Well since you love me, could you stop driving me crazy today?"

"I haven't done anything I don't always do…your hormones are just magnifying it."

"Could you please quit talking about my hormones?"

"I'll try," he replied. "Since your mother has bailed on me, and you'll notice that I refrained from responding to her message, we can go to lunch."

"No, I'm good for now. I'm not hungry yet."

"You need to eat, Kate."

"I told you I'm not hungry yet."

"Just because you don't feel hungry doesn't mean that someone else in there isn't hungry," he said quietly.

"We're fine."

"You didn't eat much at breakfast."

"Castle; that's a lie. I ate a normal portion of food. You had my plate piled so high that there was no way I was going to be able to eat all of that."

"Well, I figured that since you weren't sick, you should eat up and I want to make sure you have enough food. Food is very important right now."

"I know how to feed myself. I ate breakfast and an hour ago I ate two doughnuts in the break room. I'm not ready for lunch, now drop it."

"Usually when you say that, you end up not eating lunch at all and I can't allow that."

"You can't allow that?" she said sharply; fury rushing through her veins. "Since when do you allow me to do anything?! Who do you think you're married to!?"

Castle held up a hand. "Okay; bad choice of words…but you can't skip meals."

"I'm not skipping, I'm waiting until later."

"Later will turn into skipping and as a concerned husband and father I can't let that happen, so let's go get lunch."

"I said no; I'm not a child who needs to be told when to eat! What is with you today?"

"I'm taking care of you."

"No, you're annoying me."

Castle sighed and pulled his phone from his pocket. "Fine, I know you require proof about things so I will give you evidence about why it's a bad idea to skip meals."

"I'm going to eat later, I promise, so please, don't go all Google on me."

"If you ate something, you'd be less cranky right now," he commented as he came across an article; "See, this article here says you need to make it a priority not to skip meals."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm not having this argument with you and I'm not going to stuff myself to prove something to you."

"In order to take care of the baby, you have to take care of yourself and you're not doing that if you don't eat regularly."

"I eat regularly!"

"Yes, and you need to continue that. This article says you need to eat an extra three hundred calories a day."

"I'm not counting calories every day of my life; I didn't do that before this pregnancy and I'm not doing it now. I'm a healthy person, Castle. I'm fine."

"I know you're fine, but I want you to stay fine."

He kept droning on in his hushed voice about what she needed to do and what she should do until she felt like his words were bouncing around in her head like little ping pong balls with the words 'bad mother-to-be- painted on them. It didn't help that they were colliding with her own, most likely irrational, worries. She thought of her mother…she needed a second opinion and she wanted it to come from her mother. With that thought in mind, she grabbed her phone from the desk and shoved her chair back.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the bathroom; do I have permission for bathroom breaks, Master?" she asked, a touch of sarcasm in her tone.

Castle smiled. "Of course; and I am sorry for the poor choice of words; it wasn't what I meant at all."

"Uh huh," she said as she stormed away, praying the bathroom would be empty so she wouldn't have to slip out of the building to call her mother.

---

After entering the bathroom, Kate checked the stalls, finding them all empty as she had hoped. She hurriedly sent a text to her mother. "I'm going to call you; it's not about your text to Rick. Please answer."

She waited a few seconds for her mother to get her message and then she called her. "What's wrong?" Johanna asked as she answered on the first ring.

"Is it a pregnancy law that I have to eat lunch even if I'm not hungry?" she asked.

"That depends; did you eat breakfast? If you did, how much and did you keep it down?"

"I ate two pancakes and hash browns and one of those little sausage links. I also drank a glass of orange juice."

"That's a pretty good breakfast for you to have; did it stay down?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Have you ate anything since then?"

"Yes; someone brought in doughnuts and I ate two of them a little over an hour ago."

"Did they stay down?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're fine for now," Johanna replied. "If you're not hungry right now then don't force yourself to eat, you might make yourself sick. Just make sure you at least get a little snack later in the afternoon to keep your blood sugar up."

"So it's okay if I just grab something small in a few hours?"

"Yes, you'll be fine; I don't know if you'll be at your desk all day but if you are, just grab something around two. You might want to think about keeping something in your car, Katie; like some packs of those peanut butter crackers you always liked to eat when you were a kid; you could put some of those in the glove box and then you'd always have something, even if you're on the road."

"That's a good idea; I hadn't thought about that. Castle thinks I need to force lunch down my throat at noon even though I'm not hungry. He started pulling up all these articles on his phone about how bad it is to skip a meal while pregnant…and I feel like I'm blowing this already," she said, her voice cracking a little.

"You're not," Johanna soothed. "It's not like you haven't eaten anything at all today; you have. You had a good breakfast, you can call the doughnuts brunch…you'll be fine for awhile. I'm sure you plan on eating dinner tonight, right?"

"Yeah; I'm always hungry after work."

"Well then you'll be fine. Do you know what I ate for breakfast when I was in my first trimester with you?"

"No; what?"

"Crackers; and when I was sick of crackers, dry toast…and you know I'm not a fan of dry toast…and then when I got in my third month, I could eat hashbrowns…but they had to be specific hashbrowns."

"Specific hashbrowns?"

"Yes," Johanna said with a laugh. "When your father and I were dating, there was this little diner down the street from his apartment and a lot of times on Saturday mornings when I'd be staying with him, we'd go there for a late breakfast or he'd get takeout for us. I loved their hashbrowns…and for whatever reason, in the third month, you were willing to let me eat those specific hashbrowns…no other kind; I tried others, they were not accepted by you. Your father bought me a lot of hashbrowns from that diner."

Kate laughed softly. "I'm sure they appreciated the business."

"I'm sure they did; but you're fine…tell your husband to relax."

"Easier said than done…he's probably pulling up ten more articles as we speak."

"Does that mean you're hiding in the bathroom again?"

"Yes; it's my favorite hiding place at work; I'm just glad it's empty."

Johanna was quiet for a moment. "Anything else on your mind?" she asked softly.

There was, but it wasn't what her mother probably thought it was. "I'm worried," Kate admitted softly; her voice breaking once more.

"About what?" her mother asked.

"I haven't been sick today," she cried.

Johanna chose her words with care. "I think you mentioned that most of your sickness has been at nighttime."

"I do have it a lot at night but I always throw up at least twice in the early morning and today I haven't…and I'm worried that it means something is wrong."

"Sweetheart; you're okay," Johanna said soothingly.

"But why haven't I been sick?"

"Your hormones fluctuate, you might just be a little more settled this morning…and the day is still young; you might throw up an hour from now; or after dinner. You might throw up half the night; you don't know that you won't be sick at all today."

"I looked online," Kate said tearfully; "It says that vanishing symptoms can be a sign of a miscarriage."

"Honey, please don't accept the worst case scenario that Google always brings up first."

"But what if that's what it is?" she cried.

"It's not. Are you having any pain or cramping?"

"No."

"Any bleeding?"

"No."

"No clots or anything like that?"

"No."

"Okay, that's good; and just because you haven't thrown up today doesn't mean that your symptoms have vanished. I'm sure morning sickness isn't your only symptom, is it?"

"No; but what if…"

"Katie, you're fine," she said softly. "You don't have to feel every symptom every single day; it can change as you go along. You're allowed to have good days…I had days when I didn't throw up, and I know it can be worrisome when you suddenly have a day when it isn't there but it can come back at any moment."

"I'm just…" Kate said, tears clogging her voice.

"Scared," Johanna supplied; "And that's okay too but I'm sure you're fine. I can tell you're still emotional so that's probably a good sign, right?"

"Yeah; maybe so," she agreed as she sniffled.

"Have you mentioned to Rick that you're having this worry today?"

"No; he's too busy trying to force feed me all day," she replied. "At breakfast all I heard was that since I wasn't being sick, I should eat as much as possible and now he was griping about lunch and pulling up articles and making me feel like a bad mother already."

"Okay," Johanna said; "Listen, since you're not hungry right now, why don't you take your break and come to my office and sit with me for a little while. We'll talk it all through and you'll feel better."

"I thought you had a lot of work to do?"

"I'm never too busy for you; you know that…and most of this I can do at home…I just…needed to not see your husband today," her mother explained. "I'm sure that's got me another black mark next to my name but I just need a little more time to get past the last one."

"I get that," Kate told her; "I really do, I didn't blame you a bit for it…but he's going to want to know where I'm going…"

"So tell him the truth; you're going to see your mother…and no, he's not invited; he needs to spend some time with his friends. So send him off with the boys; he needs to go talk guy things and relax. It'll be good for him."

"He probably won't see it that way."

Maybe not at first but he might afterwards. So what do you say? Are you going to come see me? My office is much more comfortable than your desk at the precinct."

Kate smiled and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Yeah; I'll take my break at noon and I'll be there."

"Alright, sweetheart. Wash your face and try to calm down, everything will be fine. I'll see you here shortly."

"Okay," she said as she got herself under control. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They said goodbye and Kate ended the call, shoving her phone into her pocket before she turned to the sink and washed her face. She took a few steadying breaths and then made her way to the door of the bathroom. She pushed through it and found her husband leaning against the wall across from the door. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"You were gone for awhile," he answered; "I was debating coming in."

"I was on the phone," she told him.

"Oh?"

"Yes; with my mother."

Castle nodded. "Did you talk her into keeping our lunch appointment so you can be rid of me for an hour?"

"No; of course not. I wanted to ask her if it was necessary for me to eat this very second and she said it's not so we can now officially drop that subject."

"Why would she tell you that!" he exclaimed.

"Because I told her what all I've ate today and she said I'm fine for now and to get something later," she remarked.

"I think you should try to have a little lunch."

"I'm not hungry yet."

"I know, but you should take advantage of these days when you aren't feeling sick," he whispered.

"Castle; I haven't lost the ability to know when I need fed, okay? I'm fine right now. I'm going to take my break and go see my mother at her office. Why don't you go to lunch with Ryan and Espo? You haven't done that in awhile, I think it would be good for you."

"I thought your mother was working."

"She is."

"And yet you're going to see her when she was too busy to talk to me?"

"Yes," Kate replied; "Because she's never too busy for me."

"I could go with you; all three of us could have lunch together."

Her patience was stretching thin. "No!" she hissed. "I want to talk to my mother about pregnancy things and I want to do it alone. Please, go have lunch with the guys…you really need to; don't you want to go talk about guy things?"

"I can do that anytime."

"Then do it now because you're not coming with me," she said firmly. "I want to talk to my mom and you're not going and making her break and mine about you and your need to push things. She clearly needs space from you right now so respect that and respect that I want to spend my break with her today. Go be with your friends for a little while…it'll be good for you and good for me because you've been driving me crazy all morning!"

"Well excuse the hell out of me for being a concerned husband and father," he hissed. "I know what's best for you."

"Really? I didn't realize that you had been pregnant before. You really are a jack of all trades."

"Funny," he smirked. "But I do have a child; which means that I once had a pregnant wife."

"And Meredith did everything you told her, right?"

"I read the books, she trusted my word…you should read the books. I'll get you some books," Castle stated.

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect like Meredith…you know, the wife who cheated on and essentially abandoned your child; but hey, we can't all be that fabulous."

"Kate," he sighed; "I didn't mean it like that."

"You already have me pegged as a terrible mother," she stated, her eyes filling with tears. "You hate my mother and you think I'm going to be a terrible mother."

"No, no, no; you're not going to be a terrible mother. You'll be a wonderful mother and I don't hate your mother at all."

"You don't trust me to know how to take care of myself and anything my mother does, you instantly brand her a liar."

"I know you can take care of yourself. I know that your mother isn't always lying."

"She doesn't lie nearly as much as you think she does!"

"Okay," he replied; "Maybe I do judge her a little harshly at times…and if you want to go spend your break with her today, that's fine, go ahead."

"Like I need your permission," she said tartly.

"You're very hormonal today," he said with a smile.

"Yes; a hormonal woman with a gun," Kate told him, her voice low as her eyes stayed upon him.

Castle nodded. "You should go see your mom."

"Oh, now you think it's a good idea."

"Lunch with Ryan and Espo seems less dangerous at the moment…and I…understand that you're…shall we say, moody, and that I'm not helping that at the moment. So yeah; you should have a girls break; I'll have a guys break…we'll all come back happier."

"You could go home after lunch if you want," she remarked.

"Kate, don't be mad at me, I didn't do anything."

"You have, you just want to chalk it up to hormones and ignore it."

"This is going to be a long pregnancy," he murmured.

She scoffed. "Only if you help make it that way."

"Give my regards to your very busy mother who has time for lunch meetings with you and not me," he said as they headed back toward her desk.

"She has time for me because I'm her daughter; you're just her son-in-law who likes to pick open old wounds and judge her; so yeah, I can see why she sometimes doesn't have time for you."

"Well when you put it like that," he quipped, a small smile tugging at his lips as he hoped to lighten the mood. "Do you want to ask her when she might have a minute to talk to me?"

"No."

"Do you want to ask her if she's going to show up for lunch on Tuesday?"

"No; you can text her and ask her Monday," Kate remarked.

"You're not going to help me at all today despite knowing the guilt I carry about Tuesday's lunch?" he asked.

"No, it doesn't look like it…I'm not all that sure you feel as guilty as you claim. I know you, Rick; you like to push things…and I think you'd still like to push that one with her and I'm telling you right now, don't."

Castle gave a nod. "Fine; apparently the Beckett ladies need a breather for lunch today."

"Yeah…we could use some alcohol too but I can't have any and she rarely allows herself the treat so, we have to carry on in the best way possible," Kate stated.

---

Johanna was writing one final comment on the last paper she had to grade when she heard her secretary greeting Kate. She hurriedly finished her thought and shoved the paper into the folder with the others as her daughter entered the room. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she got up and rounded her desk to embrace her daughter.

Kate shrugged as she sank into her mother's hug. "The same."

"Let's sit down," Johanna said as she nudged her toward the small white loveseat off to the side of the room. "You're still worried?"

"A little and I don't know how to stop," she replied as she took off her jacket and sat her purse on the floor. "I'd feel better if I just threw up like usual."

Her mother smiled at her. "You're okay; symptoms sometimes come and go. If I thought something was wrong, I would've told you to head for the hospital and I would've met you and Rick there."

"I know…it's just throwing me off balance. I wasn't sick as much yesterday and then today so far there's been nothing…and I shouldn't have gone online…"

"No, you probably shouldn't have," Johanna agreed. "I've made that mistake a time or two myself. But listen, in all probability, your morning sickness will be back. It's okay for it to ease up now and then. Your body is probably getting fully settled into the new normal for you right now. You might be coming to the end of your morning sickness cycle."

"But I think you mentioned that you were still sick at four months."

"Mine did linger into the fourth month but every woman is different; you might be done with it before your fourth month and that's fine. It doesn't mean that you're not having a healthy pregnancy. Some women have sickness the whole nine months, some for three or four…some have none at all. It's going to be fine and like I said, most likely, it'll be back tomorrow."

"The logical side of me understands that…the other side of me that saw the word miscarriage won't let go."

"You'd have other symptoms if it was a miscarriage. You're not having any symptoms that we discussed or any kind of symptom that you haven't experienced previously that would hint at that outcome, are you?"

"No."

"Then you have to try and relax and I know that isn't easy. We all fear anything that can be touted as a sign of a miscarriage…and a lot of stuff out there, online and in magazines can lean toward the fear mongering side, honey. You have to take some of the information with a grain of salt when it comes to things online, which I know you know that, you're a smart girl, always have been…but right now, when it comes to this, it's easy for you to be scared and so you might want to take a little more care with what you read online."

"I know…it gets stuck in your head. The worst case scenario always seems to be the first thing to pop up."

"That's true," Johanna said softly as she took her hand; "But, sweetheart; worrying about having one and keeping yourself worked up about it isn't good for you either. I know it's scary, I know you're off balance today but you have to push past it and keep telling yourself that you don't have those symptoms and that you're going to have a healthy, normal, pregnancy. You have to think positive. It's going to be okay."

Kate moved closer, giving in to the urge to curl up against her mother. "It's hard not to think about it now that I read about it."

"I know; it's very scary especially when you're in the first trimester and it's considered the danger zone for it; but it's not going to happen."

"If it did…I wouldn't know what I did wrong and I'd never forgive myself," Kate sniffled.

"Katie, if, God forbid, that happened, it wouldn't be your fault. It wouldn't be something that you did. It just happens sometimes…I don't think anyone really fully understands why but it wouldn't be your fault. It's not going to happen though."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked tearfully.

"Because I said so," Johanna replied.

Kate laughed softly despite herself. "Your word is law?"

"As always," she said lightly, giving her daughter's hip a pat. "Besides, it's meant to be, I know it in my heart. See that little silver frame on my desk?"

"Yeah."

"I made a copy of my first official baby picture of my grandchild so I could have her here at work with me."

"Really?"

"Yes; your father has his copy in our office at home and I have mine in our room…and I needed one here; so she's there on my desk where I can see her while I'm working."

"You don't know it's a girl."

"I'm pretty sure it is," Johanna replied; "But more importantly, I know she's meant to be…which is why I have her little picture at home and here…because she's my sunshine; I had a lot of bleak, grey days and now the storms have passed and she's going to be my sunshine. I think we've both been through enough and God is giving us sunshine now, he wouldn't take her away from us. I know that in my heart. I want you to know it in yours too."

Kate hugged her tightly. "For some reason that makes me feel better…that it'll be fine because you said so and I know the universe doesn't have to respect your law…but it always makes me feel better," she murmured.

"I'm glad," she told her softly. "It's in my job description as mother."

"Sometimes I'm not sure I can handle this," she whispered; "Suddenly worrying over every tiny little thing in my body. I usually brush a lot of stuff off and now I worry that if I feel anything it's going to be something wrong with the baby."

"You can handle it," her mother assured; "Worrying about every single thing is a part of the game, Katie. You'll settle some as you get further along but the worry is never going to go away; that's yours for life now."

"Oh God."

"I know…it's daunting to think about but eventually it's just a part of your life and you carry it like you do everything else. That's what mothers do, sweetheart. We just learn to carry it like everything else; but you're going to be fine. As for the things you're going to feel in your body, honey, you're going to have aches and twinges and sometimes little pains, soreness…but you'll learn to know what is just a symptom of an advancing pregnancy and what needs checked out by your doctor."

"I just sometimes feel stupid for getting upset or worried over every little thing."

"You're not stupid, Katie. This is the first time you've gone through this, it's new, it's scary and exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. I told you, you can call me or come see me about anything you need to talk about; and if something is really bugging you and you need extra peace of mind, don't hesitate to go see your doctor even if you're between appointments. They won't mind; you're not the first nervous mother they'd see and you won't be the last, so don't ever hesitate to go get checked to put your mind at ease, okay?"

"Yeah," she said with a nod.

"And if Rick for some reason wouldn't be able to go with you, call, and I'll come and get you and take you."

Kate sniffed as she swiped the tears off her cheeks. "Okay; I appreciate that."

"It's not a problem," Johanna replied as her daughter sat up and kicked off her shoes before pulling her legs up towards her as she shifted to face her.

"Did you have any scares when you were pregnant with me?"

She gave her a soft smile. "Sometimes it felt like I was always scared of something. I was worried if I wasn't sick much; worried I was sick too much at times. I worried that if I took a sip of soda or coffee once in awhile that I was sabotaging your birth weight because there was this article in a magazine at that time saying caffeine could lower birth weight and that sent me off the deep end a little; and I know you're supposed to avoid it but sometimes I needed a little to get through the day. I worried that it was taking longer to feel you move compared to other women I had talked to…and then finally when you were ready, you moved, but not before I got very upset about it."

'Sorry," her daughter said with a soft laugh.

"It's alright," she told her as she patted her knee. "I had a really bad scare, at least to me, when I was in the second trimester. I had some light spotting and that scared the hell out of me like you wouldn't believe."

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"Well, it was a Saturday morning, I got up and went to the bathroom and there was just a light spot. I kind of brushed it off at first because I had gone to the doctor after work the evening before; I figured it was from the exam. Your father was going to a ballgame with your grandfathers and uncles, so I didn't say anything; I didn't want to worry him over one pinkish colored spot. He dropped me off at my mother's and I told her; she agreed it was probably from my appointment and that all was well. But I saw it a few more times and started to panic even though it wasn't a lot…and I thought the worst even though I could feel you moving around as usual. Your grandmother kept assuring me that I was fine; that she had it happen during her pregnancies but I was terrified so she took me to my doctor and he checked me; he said we were fine, that the amount I had seen was nowhere near dangerous levels. He even did a sonogram to give me peace of mind that you were fine…your grandmother liked that, she liked getting to see you on the little screen, she was all excited despite my distress at that moment," Johanna said with a quiet laugh.

Kate smiled, thinking about her grandmother's excitement in the midst of her mother's turmoil. "Did the doctor give any specific causes for why you had some spotting?" she asked, figuring she might need the information for future reference.

"I remember him explaining it as an irritation of the cervix which can come from being examined and also from sex…and there was something else but I can't really remember what it was, it's been awhile…I just focused on the exam part, because I had been examined the day before and he was confident that it came from that."

"Did you tell Dad when he got back?"

"Yes, because even though the doctor said we were fine, I was still scared because the doctor also gave that standard 'if you have pain or the spotting turns into bleeding go to the hospital' speech…so, my mind couldn't really settle. Your grandmother made me lay on the couch most of the day. She said the best thing to do was to be still and have my feet up…I don't know what the hell that was supposed to do but I followed her word religiously out of desperation to make it go away. Your father took it to heart too; as soon as we got home that evening, I got my shower and he made me get in bed and I wasn't allowed to get up unless it was to go to the bathroom."

"I bet that he was upset about not being with you that day."

"He was very upset; but he did his best to try not to let me see how worried he was because he didn't want to upset me further but I could see it. The spotting stopped that evening but I worried still…and I made him talk to you even though you were moving around because you were always even more active when he'd talk to you. It took me a few days to stop worrying about that event."

"Any other scares?"

"Oh yeah, there was the heart palpitations one evening…I don't know what scared me more, the palpation or your father's driving on the way to the hospital."

Kate laughed. "That bad?"

"Oh yeah; then on Halloween, I thought I was going into labor because I was having pains; so we left the firm's Halloween party, which I didn't want to be at anyway, and we spent the majority of the evening in the emergency room until finally a doctor came in and told us it was a false alarm…which suited me just fine because, as I told your father, I wasn't having my baby on Halloween."

"Why not?"

"I just didn't like the idea of it," Johanna replied. "I saw Halloween themed birthday parties in my future in that scenario and I just didn't want that for you. You weren't due yet anyway. So," she said as she patted her daughter's knee; "Yes, you gave me plenty of scares from within the womb but we're both here and fine so clearly we got through it, and I forgave you."

"Good to know," she said with a smile.

"I'm sure you already knew," Johanna remarked. "Do you mind if I get my lunch out?"

"No, of course not, Mom. You should have your lunch; we can move over to your desk so you don't have to hold it," Kate replied.

"Alright," she said as she rose from the loveseat and made her way across the room to the small black dorm sized fridge. "Do you want a drink? I have Sprite."

"Yeah; that would be fine," Kate replied as she moved one of the chairs to the side of her mother's desk so she could remain close to her as she had her lunch. "Where did you get the fridge? I don't think you had that the last time I came to your office."

"Your father saw it on sale somewhere and got it for me," Johanna answered as she sat two cans of Sprite on the desk and then went back to get her salad. "He said I needed it; I'm not sure why but it is convenient."

"He probably doesn't want you hanging around a break room; men might look at you," Kate teased as she opened her drink.

"I hadn't thought of that," she laughed as she look the plastic lid off of her salad and settled down in her chair before picking up the packet of dressing.

Kate looked at the salad with interest, noting the strips of chicken laying across the salad and the creamy looking dressy her mother was pouring over it. She hadn't been hungry…but suddenly, she'd like to have that salad. "That looks good," she commented.

"Do you want a bite, sweetheart?" Johanna asked; figuring that her plan of eating in front of her daughter might work the way she thought and inspire her to have a few bites so she could report it to her husband and he'd leave her alone. "I have another fork; we can share."

Kate nodded. "Yeah; I might try a bite or two…it just looks really good."

"They do have good salads here," Johanna said as she opened one of her desk drawers and took out the plastic wrapped fork and handed it to her daughter, noting her questioning gaze. "I have a supply because sometimes your father will come eat lunch with me if I'm staying here for most of the day."

She smiled as she opened the package and took out her fork. "Castle's under the impression that you don't spend much time here."

"Sometimes I don't…but it's also not unusual for me to stay the majority of the day if I have a lot to do and know I'll get distracted with other things if I stay home. How mad is he that I skipped lunch? He didn't respond to the message."

"He thinks you're avoiding him."

"Well…I guess I kind of am today but it's not that I'm trying to hurt his feelings; I just need some space and time to get past the last one."

"I figured you might," Kate said around the bite of salad. "God that's good."

"There's plenty for both of us, Katie; eat as much of it as you want."

"I wasn't even hungry."

"I've felt like that before and then ended up eating when something good caught my eye," her mother replied.

"I told Castle you probably just need a little time."

"What did he say?"

"That he'd rather get it out of the way, you know how he is, but I wouldn't say he was mad, he's too busy bugging me today."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kate exhaled a huff. "He just won't stop sometimes! And I know some of it is me being more…annoyed…by things than usual because of hormones, which I hate to say because he brings up that word all the time!"

"Men do seem to bring that word up at the wrong moments; whether it's about pregnancy or periods."

"Yeah; and they need to stop. Sometimes I'm mad just because I've been annoyed and people can't take a hint."

"I know that feeling," Johanna remarked as she picked up a bite of her salad.

"It's like all morning all he's done is tell me what to do, how much to eat, when to eat, and various other things all morning long but the eating thing was driving me crazy the most and he's brought up a lot that I'm not sick today and I'm already bugged about that so being reminded isn't helping but I haven't told him I'm bugged because I don't want him getting started on that either."

"I understand," her mother said; "Husbands have to go through adjustments too when pregnancy enters the picture…they think you're being crazy and they're being just as crazy themselves."

Kate glanced at her mother with a look of commiseration. "Dad drove you crazy too, didn't he?"

"Once in awhile…but there were times before and after pregnancy when he's done that."

"Yeah; but I'm getting the idea that the craziness is worse during the pregnancy."

Johanna gave a nod. "That's probably true; too many emotions and adjustments going on. He's got to calm down and you'll have to be as patient as you can manage…and yell when you need to."

"Yeah; I see yelling in my future. In the midst of his lecture about my eating habits, he brings up Meredith and how he read all the pregnancy books and she trusted his word and did what he told her to do."

"Then he probably should've told her not to be a cheater."

"Exactly! And because he's read the books and had a pregnant wife before, he apparently thinks he's an expert on the topic. Well I'm not Meredith!"

"No, you're not...and bringing up the first wife to the current, pregnant wife, isn't a smart move for any man to make; especially when it's being applied that you're wrong compared to Meredith."

"Thank you," Kate said; "I knew it couldn't just be my hormones that found that slightly offensive."

"Believe me, sweetheart; I wouldn't have liked that either if I had been in your shoes," Johanna replied; knowing her daughter had more to rant about.

"Then, he says 'I'll get you some books'…and I know he probably didn't mean it the way it sounded, but with the tone he used, I felt like he was saying 'I'll buy you books because you're stupid and know nothing'," she said, her voice cracking; "And I know it's irrational, but I'm standing there feeling stupid because I felt like he was saying I was."

She had to choose her words carefully here, Johanna thought as she allowed silence to fall for the time it took her to chew and swallow. "First of all, you're not stupid in any way but I totally understand why you would feel the way you did about it, Katie; because most women would probably feel that way, especially if there was a certain tone of voice, so I don't blame you for being upset about it. But I also know that Rick loves you and that he knows you're a highly intelligent person. I think he's just trying to adjust too and I think everyone knows that he fancies himself an expert at most things…so he wants to help you and he picked a bad way to bring up giving you a book about the topic of pregnancy."

She nodded. "I know he probably didn't mean it the way it seemed…it just hurt; and still stings…and I don't want him to come home with fifty books because that will overwhelm me."

"Then explain that to him," Johanna replied; "Tonight, after you've had some time to calm down about things today…or even wait until tomorrow, just tell him how he made you feel and explain that you don't want a ton of books…but also don't shun the idea completely. Don't think of it as him questioning your intelligence, because I know he's not…think of it more as a little gift he wants to give you to help you. Tell him a number of books you're willing to accept and when he brings that number home, accept it and read it as you go through your pregnancy. Just because you have a book doesn't mean that you can't still talk about your concerns with me or your friends or cousins, whoever you want. Books are great and full of knowledge but first hand accounts are too; so take both, sweetheart; but just let him know how you felt so he can be more careful next time…I know he doesn't want to hurt you."

"I know," she murmured; "And I don't mean to take everything the wrong way lately…it just seems to happen."

"That's to be expected…but you can always do what I did."

"What?"

"Just say you're sorry afterwards…husbands are forgiving about these things."

Kate gave her a smile. "I hope so."

"They are, trust me. One day I'll tell you about some of the disagreements and misunderstandings your father and I had when I was pregnant with you."

"I would like to hear those stories."

"We'll get around to them," Johanna promised.

"I think I'm eating more of your salad than you," her daughter commented.

"I don't mind," she laughed. "I'm glad you're enjoying it and I'm glad we're sharing our break together today."

"Me too," Kate smiled. "You made me feel better about a lot of things."

Johanna reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm glad…and I'm willing to do that anytime you need me to."

"You're probably going to have plenty of opportunities."

"I'm okay with that," her mother replied with a smile. A lot of things had gotten taken away from her, but she felt secure in the knowledge that she wasn't going to get pushed out of the way when it came to her daughter's pregnancy and it gave her a sense of peace and happiness.

---

Castle wandered down the pristine looking hallways of the law facility at Columbia later that afternoon, carefully following the instructions that Alexis had texted him so that he could find his mother-in-law's office. Eventually he rounded enough corners and found himself in the wing that housed the law faculty offices. He moved down the hallway slowly, reading the name plates, finally finding the one that bore the words Mrs. Johanna Beckett next to the third door on the right. He slipped his phone into his pocket and stepped inside the door, finding the secretary at her desk, the door leading to the inner office slightly ajar.

"Can I help you?" the secretary asked, a slight Spanish accent flavoring her words.

"Yes," Castle said with a smile, noting her name plate that read Carla Lopez. "Is Mrs. Beckett in?"

"Is she expecting you?" Carla asked.

"No, it's a surprise. Is she here?"

Carla regarded him warily. "Mrs. Beckett is busy. May I take a message?"

"I'd really rather see her," he replied. "I'm her son-in-law."

"I'll see if Mrs. Beckett is available," Carla said as she rose from her chair.

"Can't I just go to the door?" he asked; "I am family."

"May I have your name?"

He gave her a grin, turning on the full wattage of his charm. "Rick Castle."

The woman gave no indication of whether she knew his name or not, merely nodded. "I'll see if Mrs. Beckett can see you now."

"Does she make you call her Mrs. Beckett?" he asked; "Because for the most part, she's a first name basis type of girl."

"She does not require it," Carla replied. "I just choose to show her proper respect when we are not alone. It's the professional thing to do."

He smiled. "I don't mind if you call her Johanna; that's what I call her…I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I could even ask her."

"No," Carla said, her hands fluttering a little. "Don't do that; Mrs. Beckett knows how I am and she's very kind to me. I don't want any trouble; I was very happy to be assigned to her."

Castle raised a hand of surrender. "No problem; but I would like to see her…can't I just surprise her since I'm family? She's probably heard me out here anyway."

"No; the only people I allow in without notice is Mr. Beckett and Ms. Beckett."

"Technically it's Mrs. Castle."

"She identifies herself as Kate Beckett and therefore I address her as Ms. Beckett; I am aware that she is married though."

He gave a nod and a smile. "Okay, it's all business here, I get that. Please let my mother-in-law know that I'm here."

Carla moved to the door of the inner office and slipped inside, shutting the door behind her. Castle waited, watching the second hand of the clock tick by a full thirty seconds before the door reopened and the secretary returned. "Mrs. Beckett will see you know, Mr. Castle."

"Thank you," he replied as he moved toward the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him in case Carla was the type of secretary that eavesdropped. "Well, I see your working hard," he said as he caught sight of his mother-in-law at her desk, her chair swiveled to the side, shoes kicked off and feet propped up on a small ottoman as she tapped at something on the screen of her phone.

Johanna glanced at him. "I am working."

"Oh yeah?" he asked as he neared her; "On what? Racy texts to Jim?"

"No; I try not to get him too excited when he has to take a deposition in the afternoon," she replied; "Besides, we prefer being racy in person; it's more fun and convenient that way."

Castle gave a short laugh. "The way you two are; you've probably had more phone sex than most people."

"No, not really; we prefer the real thing; in person…and besides, I don't have to go through all that effort of getting him worked up; all I have to say is let's go upstairs and it's a done deal."

He smirked a little in amusement, surprised that she had allowed him to get away with that comment so easily. "If it isn't racy texts, than what are you working on on your phone?" he asked as he maneuvered himself to see the screen. "Oh, Candy Crush…yes, that's highly important work."

"It's a hard level," Johanna replied. "It takes a lot of work and concentration."

"That's not really the work I had you in mind for doing when I got your message this morning…but then again, I knew you couldn't be too busy when you allowed Kate to stop by for the lunch hour."

"Katie needed me so of course I dropped what I was doing for her; she's my daughter. I'll walk out of my classroom for her if she needs me to," she remarked.

"What exactly did she need?" he asked.

"She had some questions; that's all."

"About what?"

Johanna glanced up from her phone. "We're not going to do that, Rick."

"Do what?"

"I'm not going to give you extensive details of my conversations with my daughter. She had questions about pregnancy, I answered. She's fine, nothing to worry about. If there is something I feel you need to know, I'll tell you, other than that, it's not happening."

"Okay…so you want to tell me why you bailed on me today?" Castle asked.

"Can you not tower over me?" Johanna asked. "Go sit down if you insist on being here."

He backed away, figuring he was invading her personal space and Johanna wasn't one that liked to have her space invaded unless it was someone she loved and felt comfortable with. He moved to one of the chairs in front of her desk and sat down. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You want to put the phone down and answer my question?"

"I almost have this level done, just let me use my remaining five moves."

"Yeah; you're really working hard today."

"Rick; if you must know, I'm playing a game on my phone because I'm waiting for someone to come fix my printer so I can print out the pages I need to distribute to my classes tomorrow," Johanna said as she closed her game and put her phone down before swiveling her chair to face him.

"Oh," he replied, feeling at a loss for words for a moment. "What's wrong with your printer?"

"It won't print. It has ink, it has paper, it's plugged in, it's not jammed. Everything seems to be the way it should be but it's not working."

"I could look at it," he volunteered.

"Be my guest," Johanna told him as she pointed to the printer on a stand a short distance away.

"Can you pull up whatever it was you were trying to print and send the command again so I can see what happens. I know you were probably making multiple copies, but just put in for one copy so we can see."

"Okay," she answered as she woke up her computer and once again commanded it to print the page she had typed up for her class. "I hit print but it's not doing anything."

"Yeah, I can see that," he said, his brow furrowing as he regarded the printer. The lights on the machine didn't indicate a problem. He double checked to make sure there wasn't a jam, checked the ink and the placement of the paper. There was no indication that the problem was with the printer itself. "Did you try turning it off and turning it on again?"

"Yes; I tried everything I could think of. I even hit it like Jim does to everything when it doesn't work."

"How much success has Jim had with that?"

"Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't."

"I'm thinking your issue isn't with the printer; it's coming from the computer," Castle remarked.

"Great," Johanna muttered. "Just what I need."

"Don't panic yet," he replied. "May I look at the computer?"

Johanna rose from her chair, allowing him to take her place so he could try to find the problem.

"Okay; let's clear out all of these botched printing commands that are hanging there doing nothing," he said as he canceled each failed command that she had placed.

"Did I try too many times?" Johanna asked.

"No; but if you don't clear them out, when the printer starts to work, you'll have five hundred copies and I doubt you need that many."

"God no, I only need sixty."

"Why don't you just print one copy and then go run it off on the copy machine?"

"Because there's always a line for the copier," she answered.

"I'm sure there's more than one on campus."

"Why should I have to walk all over campus to find one when I have a printer that can do the same thing?"

"Okay, I'll give you that one," Castle replied as he opened up the settings for the printer and made a few changes. "Let's try it now."

Castle hit the command to print her document and the printer sprang to life. "You fixed it, thank God," Johanna declared. "What was the problem?"

"Probably a system glitch or an update threw off your settings for your printer. It should be fine now but we'll section off the number of copies you need to make sure," he said as he commanded the printer to print ten more copies.

The printer whirled to life once more and Johanna smiled. "Thanks for fixing it, Rick. I appreciate it."

"No problem," he told her, but before he could pick up his original line of conversation, Johanna went to the door to tell Carla to cancel the tech call.

"Your secretary guards you," he said quietly as he made the next command to the printer.

"I like that in a secretary," she replied. "And just so you know, she does occasionally call me by my given name."

"So you did hear me outside."

"My eyes might require reading glasses for small print but my hearing is perfectly fine."

"Clearly," he remarked. "You better put some more paper in the printer for the next set."

Johanna collected the pages that had already printed and refilled the paper. "We've got twenty-one copies; I need thirty-nine more."

"I sent the command for the next ten," he said as he rose from her chair. "You can take over from here."

"I'm glad you got it fixed; techs rarely ever show up the same day."

"See, I'm not so bad to have around," Castle replied.

"I never said you were bad to have around."

"And yet you bailed on me today."

"Yes; I did…and I'm glad I did since Katie needed to see me for awhile."

"That doesn't explain why you lied to me though."

"Rick; I didn't lie about being at work; I am…you came to my office and I'm here. You see some of my work being printed out right now. I have been working all day except for while Katie was here. I've seen students, I've graded papers, wrote up this second edition of instructions for my students group projects, that's the paper that's being printed. I have to create a quiz and post it for my other class. I did, and still do, have work to do."

"Yeah; but you're entitled to a lunch break."

"That doesn't mean I need to leave my office. I assure you that I've spent many lunch breaks at my desk in the past. I had Carla go to the cafeteria and get us salads…and just so you know; your wife ate the majority of mine so get off her back about her eating habits today because she's fine."

He smiled. "She ate your lunch?"

"Yes."

"Good; see I told her she needed lunch."

"Rick; she knows when she needs to eat, don't get started on the path you were on this morning with her."

"I have to do what's best for her."

"I agree; if she hasn't eaten anything at all for the day; then yes, make her eat. If she has ate and she's just not hungry yet for anything else; let her be and wait a few hours and offer her a snack, okay?"

"It's dangerous to skip meals."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, if you do it all the time; but having a small snack later in the place of lunch is perfectly fine. Don't become overbearing, Rick. She does have a gun."

"She reminded me of that earlier."

"You should heed the warning; I don't want to have to explain to my grandchild that we're living our lives on the run because Mommy shot Daddy and Grandma broke her out of jail. That's no life for a kid, Rick. Don't make us do that."

"Now that I know you've clearly got a plan in mind of how to handle that situation, I'll try to toe the line," he replied.

"Good; that would be a very difficult story to tell…and I'm not crazy about having to uproot my life again."

He was surprised that she'd make a statement like that, even if it was in jest but he said nothing about it, letting it go without comment. "I see you have your copy of the sonogram on your desk…I thought you'd keep it at home so you could see it every day."

"My original copy is at home; I made this one from the scanner on the printer at home so I could have one at work. I want to make sure I see her wherever I'm at."

"Could be a boy."

"Could be but I'm not getting that vibe."

Castle's gaze moved around her office, the bookshelves were full of books and workbooks; little knickknacks placed on the shelves to break up the monotony of book spines, along with a picture of her and her mother, a picture of Kate when she was little, a wedding picture of her and Jim. A casual family photo from Kate's teenage days. When he had been seated at her desk, he had taken notice of the framed sonogram of course, but also the framed photo of her and Jim from one of their vacations, and a framed photo of Kate. There were small pieces of artwork on the walls; purple throw pillows on the small white loveseat. There were small little things scattered about that made the space hers, but he noticed one thing it lacked.

"How come you don't have a wedding picture in here?" he asked.

"I do," she said, pointing behind her to the one of her and Jim.

"I meant mine and Kate's."

"As you know, I have one hanging on the wall in the living room at home…or maybe you don't know since you avoid my invitations."

He smirked at her. "Yes; I've noticed it on the wall…but we gave you a whole envelope of wedding photos."

Johanna eyed him. "Is this your way of saying that you're offended that you haven't found your way into my office photo collection?"

He shrugged. "Well…you've got pictures of my wife."

"Your wife is my daughter; of course I have pictures of her everywhere. I still carry her baby pictures in my wallet. I'm a mother it's what I do."

"You have a picture of one of my two children," he said nodding to the sonogram.

"One of your two children is my grandchild. As for your other child; I have no pictures of Alexis and I don't think she'd like to be displayed in my office as if she was my grandchild."

"Technically she is by marriage."

Johanna sighed. "Rick; we're not having that discussion again, but if it will make you feel better; when I get home, I will find a wedding picture to bring into my office, okay?"

"Only if you want to…but you know, then maybe your secretary will know who I am."

"She knows who you are; she just isn't impressed by your celebrity status."

Castle eyed her. "What did you tell her about me?"

She smiled a little. "That's confidential between a woman and her secretary."

"And here I thought you weren't friends with your secretary."

"Why would you think that?"

"From the way you sound when you talk about work…like you don't have friends here."

"I consider Carla a friend; I like her a great deal and I'm happy to work with her. I count my colleagues as acquaintances for the most part. Everyone has been kind to me here, I don't have any problems. Just because I don't go on and on about it doesn't mean I'm not friends with people here."

He nodded as she printed out the next set of her papers. "You still haven't told me the real reason you bailed on me…you seem to keep side stepping it."

"I intended to come but as the hour drew closer…I just couldn't do it."

"Why?"

"I just wasn't ready to come back yet," she admitted.

"Why? Tuesday didn't go all that badly; we didn't accomplish anything but at least we discussed an issue as much as you'd allow and then I left you off the hook for it like you asked. So why bail on me?"

"You think we didn't accomplish anything?" Johanna asked. "We accomplished sending me back to a very bad time…and I feel like I kind of had to beg to be let out of it but by the time you stopped; it was too late; I already had a hundred doubts running rampant in my mind; all of that darkness coming back. I had to go see my husband at work and have him talk me through it so it wouldn't drown me again. That's what we accomplished."

"I know you don't like hearing this, but if a topic about a bad day can put you so firmly in a bad place that your husband has to talk you out of your head, then you probably should've stayed in therapy," he said gently.

"You don't get it!" she cried in exasperation. "Therapy doesn't work for me because they don't know me; they don't know what I need. Jim knows me. Jim knows what I need; how to talk to me, how to make that cloud of depression go away. He's not only my husband; he's my best friend, my therapist, my partner in crime and everything else under the sun. My statement wasn't meant for you to tell me what you think I need; it was me telling you that sometimes I can't go back because it drowns me…and instead of listening to that and allowing it to sink in, I get a comment about staying in therapy. I don't need your version of therapy, Rick. What I need is for you to learn how to take a hint sometimes."

"I did take a hint, I allowed the subject to drop!"

"You should've taken the hint that I didn't want the topic to begin in the first place!"

"You're like that about every topic!" Castle said in exasperation.

"No, I'm not!"

"You are the majority of the time."

She blew out a breath. "Rick; sometimes I just can't go back…did you hear me a minute ago when I said that I can't always go back because it drowns me? It's not something I like; but it's something that's a part of me now…and I know you like to yell 'therapy' but that part of me isn't going to go away no matter who I talk to. I have worked hard to get past everything that's happened…and there are some things that I need to leave in the box I pack it in so that I can stay on track. The incident we discussed Tuesday is one of them…and I just wasn't ready to see you again. I did have a ton of work to do and it afforded me an excuse to skip lunch today. I'm sorry if I offended you or hurt you by doing so but I just wasn't ready to come back."

Castle tried to choose his words carefully. "I understand why the last lunch upset you…but you've been upset by a lot of things we've talked about so I don't know why you couldn't just come today like usual."

"Because I needed space!" she exclaimed. "I just needed some space…which is why I've been in my office all day because I just need to be here right now. I didn't want to be home dreading that lunch, wondering if you were going to try to pick that wound again and then as it got closer, I just couldn't do it. I need some space."

"Oh my God," Castle said; "Now I know where she gets it from…she gets it from her mother…it all makes sense now. You Beckett women need so much space that you should've joined NASA."

Her eyes narrowed. "Maybe we need space because people like you exasperate us."

"Yes, blame anyone but yourselves…that's how it goes right? Believe me, I know, because your daughter is big on space when she doesn't like how things are. Like mother, like daughter…it's all so clear now," he said with a laugh.

"Well then you better get a good look at me, Rick; because this is who your wife is going to be in about thirty years."

"Suddenly I feel like crying," he quipped.

"There's a box of tissues over there on the shelf," Johanna said with a casual flick of her wrist. "And if there's any justice in this world; it won't be just like mother, like daughter; it'll be like mother, like daughter, like granddaughter…a little dynasty of women to drive you insane."

"That's not nice, Johanna."

"Sometimes you're not nice either," she muttered.

He breathed deeply, giving himself a few moments to pick the right words…to lose the attitude that so often came out when he shared airspace with her. "Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted space?"

Johanna met his eye. "I didn't think you'd accept that…but apparently it doesn't matter what excuse I give, you don't accept any of them…because here you are."

"You probably should've expected it."

"I had hope that you'd avoid my office. Now I know I'm wrong, so that's my learning experience for today."

"If you had came to lunch, I would've apologized for Tuesday," he told her.

"I know."

His brow furrowed. "But you don't want my apology as usual?"

"No; it's not that. I just worried that after you issued it, you'd backtrack and try to pick up Tuesday's conversation again and I just couldn't do it again. I'm sorry. I just didn't trust you to leave it alone…and I didn't know how to get out of today's lunch because I didn't think you'd accept that I needed more time before seeing you again…and I had a desk full of work in front of me so that seemed like the best option for an excuse."

"Okay," Castle said; his tone softer. "I understand."

Her gaze was slightly wary. "You do?"

"Yeah; I pushed too far last time, ignoring that you do react differently to that topic than you do others. I should've let it go…but as you know, I apparently have a difficult time doing that."

Johanna nodded. "I might have noticed a little."

"I'd say probably a lot, but, I'm going to do my best to do better so that I don't push you into one of those topics you need left alone. Contrary to popular belief, I don't want you to be unhappy, Johanna; and I don't want to be the person to send you to a dark place when you've spent enough time under black clouds. So…I'm sorry I pushed you too hard Tuesday and I hope we can get past it."

"We can get past it," she said with a nod; "I just needed time…I intended to show up Tuesday, it was far enough away to give me time. That's all I wanted, just a little time and space…I wasn't trying to be difficult, I just have to get the last one put back in the box."

"Fair enough," Castle stated. "If I should slip up and push the wrong topic, next time just tell me the truth and I'll respect your need for space, okay?"

"Alright," Johanna replied.

"So are we good?" he asked.

"Yeah; we're fine," she said as she pushed a few keys on her computer and made the printer spit out a few more of the copies she needed. "Thanks for fixing the printer."

"Anytime," Castle said as he rose from the chair. "Now that I've annoyed two out of the four women in my life; I'll leave you to your work and track down the two I haven't tackled yet…Alexis is closest," he said with a grin.

Johanna glanced at the clock. "She's in a lecture right now, Rick."

"How do you know?"

She met his eye. "I know."

She still subtly kept tabs on his daughter, he realized; and he couldn't help but feel a little grateful for it despite the debacle they had gone through concerning her involvement in Alexis's life. "Then I better catch her later."

"That would be best."

"I should probably go back to the precinct anyway," he commented; "Make sure Kate's fine."

Johanna waged a small internal debate and then decided to ease her restrictions just this once. "Rick," she called to him before he could open the door.

"Yeah?"

"You might want to refrain from mentioning so much that Katie isn't sick today," she told him.

Confusion flicked across his face. "Why? It's got to be a relief to her."

"It's not," Johanna said slowly.

"Why not?"

"Because when you're used to being sick a lot and then suddenly you're not…it's a little worrying," she explained.

Castle moved back toward her desk. "What do you mean?"

"It means that when you suddenly have a day without morning sickness, you wonder if something is wrong."

"Oh," he breathed; "I…I didn't realize that she'd think anything bad of it. I just thought she'd be relieved."

"Pregnant women don't like sudden changes in their symptoms, Rick. It makes an already somewhat scary experience even more scary."

"That's why she came to see you," he murmured.

"Yes…and I assured her that it's normal and that everything is fine; she doesn't have any symptoms of something being wrong. She was just worried…so maybe you should stop bringing it up so she can not be so entirely focused on it; because like I told her, it can come back at any minute…but I'm sure your reminders aren't helping her relax about the lack of throwing up."

Castle nodded. "Yeah; I'll definitely stop doing that, thank you."

Johanna held his gaze. "Don't tell her that I told you anything about it…it would be easy for her to get mad at me and decide to push me away again…and I don't want to go through that again; especially now."

He shook his head. "I swear to you that I won't say a word, Johanna. I won't mention that you said anything about what she talked about with you. I'll just not bring up her lack of sickness. I guess I was too focused on the eating thing to realize that she had other things on her mind, but I'm glad she brought that concern to you instead of keeping it bottled up, so trust me, I'm not going to jeopardize that."

"I appreciate that," she said sincerely. "And ease up on the eating thing, she's fine…and she really did eat the majority of my salad…which I admit I opened in front of her because I figured it would appeal to her and then she'd tell you she ate and you'd get off her back."

"Understood," Castle replied; "Are you still hungry, because I could get you something since you sacrificed most of your lunch."

"I could go for a bag of Doritos from the vending machine."

He smiled. "Done; where's the vending machine?"

"At the end of the hall."

"Do you need a soda to go with it?"

"No, I've got soda in my fridge," she said, pointing to the small black dorm sized fridge that was near the stand with the printer on it.

"Gift from Jim?"

"Yeah, he likes to make sure I'm comfortable."

"I'll be back with your chips."

"I'll be here," Johanna said as she got up to collect the papers from the printer so she could count and see how many more she needed since she had lost track.

Castle returned after a few minutes and handed her her bag of chips. "There you go; one bag of Doritos."

"Thank you," she replied.

"No problem; I'll let you get back to work now and I'll go rejoin my wife and not drive her crazy."

"Good idea…and what else?"

"And I won't mention that you said anything about your conversation with her."

"Good. See you Tuesday."

A smile touched his lips; she had brought it up without any prompting…maybe that was a good sign. "See you Tuesday," he told her before turning to leave.

---

Castle offered his wife a smile as he settled down in his chair next to her desk a short while later.

"Where were you?" Kate asked, studying him intently.

"I went to lunch with Ryan and Esposito like you suggested."

"They were back long before you."

"I ran a few errands."

"Oh? What kind?"

"Picked up the dry cleaning, took it home; things like that."

She eyed him sternly. "Did you go to my mother's office after I asked you not to?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I know you."

He shifted in his chair. "Did she call you?"

"No…but if I call and ask her, will she say you had been there?"

He gave her a small smile. "Maybe."

"Castle!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice. "Do you ever listen?"

"Yes."

"Really? You could've fooled me."

"It's okay," he told her. "She's not mad. I fixed her printer and bought her a bag of Doritos from the vending machine. We're good."

Confusion knitted her brow. "What?"

"When I got there…and past her guard of a secretary; she was having issues with her printer and I fixed it."

"And how did my mother feel about you being there?"

He shrugged. "She was happy to have the printer fixed. She wasn't hostile…nor did she seem very surprised that I showed up."

"Did you push Tuesday's issue again?"

"No, I just asked why she bailed on me. She explained and I listened…and she explained again and I listened better. I apologized…and she apologized for not giving me her entire reason for bailing in her text. There was no yelling, no crying. She didn't throw me out. So…I think it went well."

"She wasn't upset?"

"No; she's fine. I promise."

Kate gave a nod, her temper settling. "How did Doritos enter the equation?"

"I mentioned you and she made it a point to tell me that she split her lunch with you…and that I should get off your back."

She smiled a little. "That doesn't explain the chips."

"Once I knew she had shared her lunch with you, I told her I'd pick her up something if she was still hungry. She said she wanted a bag of Doritos from the vending machine so I got them."

"I'm glad…I think I ate more than half of her salad. I wasn't hungry until I saw it and then it was like my brain screamed 'I need that'."

Castle laughed. "Well you have the kind of mother who will willingly let you eat her lunch if you want it."

She nodded. "Yeah; she's always been that way."

"So…you're not mad at me for going over there to her office, are you?"

"No, you said everything is fine and I trust your word on that. Did she say anything else about me being there?"

"Just that she was glad you came and you had some questions that she answered; she didn't offer further details," he replied; keeping his word to Johanna that he wouldn't let Kate know that she had tipped him off about her worries.

"Do feel better now that you talked over Tuesday's issue with her?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I do," Castle replied; "You're right, I'm never going to feel better about what I said to her that day at the hospital…but I have to make my peace with it and put it to rest for all our sakes."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said sincerely.

He smiled. "Do you know what your mother said before I left?"

"What?"

"She said 'see you Tuesday'."

Kate gave him an odd look. "And that's significant because?"

"Because I didn't prompt it," he replied.

She smiled. "So she's on board for Tuesday and you didn't have to ask…that must feel like progress to you."

"Yeah; it does."

"See, she's not so unreasonable, Castle."

"That or I need to start sending you in ahead of me as the warm up act; you might have mellowed her."

Kate rolled her eyes, a smile tugging her at lips. "Maybe you need to learn how to mellow people."

"I wonder if there's an app for that?"

She laughed. "I don't know but I'm sure if there is, you'll find it."

He smiled. "Did you have a good time with your mom?"

"Yeah," Kate answered sincerely. "It was good…maybe she can work me into the lunch date rotation."

"I'm sure for you, she'd drop anything to work you in," Castle stated.

"I know…she always has," she replied.

He leaned close and kissed her cheek. "I'm going to get a cup of coffee, do you want some water or Sprite or anything?"

"Sprite would be good."

"You got it," he told her as he got up from his chair, feeling a little better about the state of things. His mother-in-law wasn't mad at him and his wife seemed a little more settled…maybe the day was turning around.

---

"You okay?" Castle asked as Kate stepped out of the bathroom that night.

"Yeah…just the usual, you know?"

"Morning sickness has reared its ugly head at nighttime once again?" he asked.

"Yeah, it sure has," she replied, a small smile tugging at her lips that he didn't miss.

"It's, uh, probably a little disappointing after you went all day without anything," Castle said cautiously.

Kate shrugged. "No, it's fine…it's all a part of the game right now, right?"

"Yeah; but you've been sick a good bit; sometimes more than others, but still at least a little every day so I figured it was probably a relief to have nothing for the majority of the day," he said, watching as she picked up her phone from the nightstand and started tapping against the screen. "What are you doing?"

"I just wanted to say goodnight to my mom," she replied as she hit the send button and laid her phone back down.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked; hoping she'd confide her worries now that he figured her mind was eased.

"I'm fine; believe me, it doesn't bug me that the sickness came back. I'd rather have it than not," she stated as she set about pulling back the covers on her side of the bed.

"Really?"

"Yeah; that's not so terrible, is it?"

"No, of course not…you've just seemed a little off at times today."

Kate turned to face him. "Did Mom tell you?"

"I told you, the only thing your mother said about your visit was that she was glad you came, that she shared her salad with you and she answered a few questions that you had. She wouldn't give me specifics and I didn't push for any because that's between the two of you and when you told me you were going to see her, you said you wanted to talk about pregnancy stuff with her so I figured the questions you had that she answered was about that and I left it alone so I could pursue my own agenda."

She nodded, twisting her hands a little as she did so. "Even if she did mention it, it's not like I swore her to secrecy or expected you to go there."

Castle shook his head. "I told you what she told me and I'm sure she only told me that much because she wanted to make sure I knew you ate so she could tell me to get off your back about it," he said with a small smile. "And I did get off your back about it."

"You did," Kate replied with a small smile of her own. "I'm glad you listened to her."

"Me too; I was afraid you might maim me."

"I'm sorry, Castle; I don't mean to be so moody at times."

"Hey, I know you can't help it much right now and I was driving you crazy and that doesn't help. You seemed more settled after seeing your mom so I figured you just needed some girl time. But if there's something you want to talk about, we can…or if it's something you discussed with your mom and you want to leave it there, that's okay too as long as you're fine."

"I'm fine…I just…it bothered me that I wasn't sick," she admitted. "I don't want you to think I was trying to keep it from you…I just…"

"We weren't having a good day and I was already bugging you?" he supplied as she sat down on the foot of the bed with him.

"Yeah…I'm sorry."

"It's okay; I understand."

"I should've been relieved to have some time off from throwing up, and the logical part of my brain told me it was probably fine that I wasn't but the other side thought maybe it meant something was wrong…and I made a huge mistake of Googling it…and you know how Google is…there's always the 'its nothing' result and the 'panic, its bad' result…and my mind choose to dwell on the bad one despite not having the symptoms associated with it."

"Google isn't our friend today," Castle remarked.

"Yeah, that's why I didn't want to hear your Google results about delaying lunch today."

"We'll lay off of Google for awhile."

"Part of me did want to tell you…but like you said, we were kind of having a bad day and as it went on, you were on the kick about my eating habits and bringing up your ex-wife and talking about buying me books, and that me feel a little stupid as irrational as that sounds…"

"Kate, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that or hurt your feelings," he said as he took her hand.

"I know; some of it is just me and my out of whack hormones. If you want to buy me a book, that's fine…but don't buy me a ton of them because nine times out of ten, I'm still going to go with my mother's advice about specific things that I want to know in that area."

"There's nothing wrong with that; and I'll just get you the one book, the one every expectant mother seems to get. What to Expect When You're Expecting."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "I will happily accept one book."

"So; was your worry about not being sick today why you decided to go see Johanna?"

"Yeah; it was her idea actually. I started crying on the phone and she told me to come over and sit with her and we'd talk about it…and I asked her what I was supposed to do with you and she said you needed to spend time with your guy friends," she said with a short laugh.

Castle chuckled lightly. "Well, it wasn't a bad idea; I did enjoy lunch with the guys."

"She said you'd like it better afterwards than you would before hand."

"She's probably been down that road with your dad."

"Probably; but I went and we talked about it and she told me I was fine and that I wasn't having any symptoms of something being wrong. She told me everything would be fine, but if I still wasn't sick tomorrow and it was still making me nervous, to go see my doctor for peace of mind…but she eased the majority of my worries and now that I have been sick, I feel a lot better about the whole thing. I just got a little scared…and I needed her."

"I'm glad she bailed on me in this case," Castle remarked; "It meant she was available to be there for you when you needed her, so I'm glad she needed space today…even if I did go invade it."

Kate laughed. "At least she's still speaking to you though so that's progress, right?"

"I think so."

"We had a good talk about little scares that pop up in pregnancy," she went on; "And she said that everything is going to be fine…and she always says those things like her word is law…which always makes me feel better for some reason; because if she says it's going to be that way, I can't imagine it being any other way."

"Johanna's law," he quipped.

"Exactly…and speaking of that; when are you going to tell her about Erica's Law?"

"Not yet," Castle replied; "I feel like we somehow got somewhere today and that it's a good spot so I'm going to try to stay there for a little while and then I'll spring that on her."

"You better do it before it gets a press release or you're really going to be in trouble then."

"I'll definitely have it done before then…I'm not saying how far in advance of it, but it'll be done before then."

Kate leaned into him. "You're not mad at me for not telling you what was bugging me…you know; besides you, today?"

Castle tipped her chin up so he could kiss her. "No, I'm not mad. I'm glad you told me, but I'm not mad that you got advice from your mother first. You are feeling better now though?"

"Yeah; I feel much better now that I've thrown up twice…as crazy as that sounds."

"Not crazy at all; it's the new normal for you so of course you're a bit relieved that it's come back."

"I guess it's going to take me some time to get used to things," Kate murmured.

"It'll take time for both of us but we'll get through it," he replied as he brushed a kiss against her hair. "It'll be okay…remember, your mother said so and she's the law."

She laughed softly. "That's right; we just don't tell her that too often or we'll never get away with anything."

Castle laughed with her. "True; but I'm glad you're feeling better…despite the throwing up."

Kate breathed deeply as she pulled away from him. "Yeah; speaking of that, I think it's time for round three."

Castle got up from the bed and followed behind her as she made her frantic dash for the bathroom. He knew the drill, re-soak the washcloth is cool water for her face; have her toothbrush ready for her and offer her anything that might make her feel better and get her through the night.

---

"I think you have a message on your phone," Jim said as Johanna entered their bedroom with her glass of water that she had gone to get.

"You could've checked it," she replied as she made her way to the nightstand and sat down her glass.

"I don't poke my nose in your phone," her husband stated as he laid the remote aside once he had settled on something to watch.

"I know; but it's not like I'd get mad."

"I know you wouldn't, but you don't check mine unless I ask you to so I return the favor."

Johanna gave him a smile as she grabbed her phone and settled into bed beside him. "It's from Katie."

"What's our girl up to tonight?"

"She threw up," she replied.

Jim looked at her oddly. "And she notified you because?"

Johanna smiled. "You know, you had so much ranting to do at dinner and then you raced off to your poker game that we never really talked about my day."

He nodded. "I know, I felt guilty for neglecting you the whole night."

"Uh huh; that's why you won, right?"

"Of course, I had to ease my guilt my bringing home the loot."

She kissed him and settled against him for a moment. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart…I'm sorry I monopolized dinner with the ranting and you didn't get your turn."

"It's alright," she laughed; "I don't mind."

"So why is Katie letting you know that she's thrown up? I figure that's a daily part of her life right now."

"It is a normal part of her life right now but she called me a little before lunch time and she was upset because she hadn't been sick all day…and she was afraid it meant something was wrong."

"Oh," Jim said with a nod. "It made her nervous…things like that made you nervous too."

"Yeah; so I told her to take her break and come over to my office and we'd talk about it."

"Did she come?"

"Yes; I think I got her mostly convinced that she was fine, that the symptoms can change; that the morning sickness could come back at any moment…but she feels better now that she's throwing up again. Now I have to figure out how to respond to that message."

"I guess you could say I told you so."

"God no; that's the worst thing I could say to her for the time being," Johanna replied. "She's sensitive; I don't want to upset her or make her mad."

Her husband nodded. "True. Just tell her to keep up the good work."

She laughed. "I don't think that's the right remark either."

"I'm not sure I have anything else to offer for responses."

Johanna sighed. "I'll try this 'I'm sorry that you're sick, but I know it's probably making you feel better and easing your worries, so we'll be glad that you're throwing up this time. Eat some crackers to settle your stomach and get some rest, sweetheart. Call me before work and let me know how you are. I love you."

"That's pretty good," Jim remarked.

"Thank you…I'm trying to be careful with words," she confessed.

"I don't blame you; I remember when I wasn't careful with words when you were pregnant."

"Yeah, me too," she quipped.

"I'm still sorry," he laughed.

"It's okay; I forgave you long ago, honey."

"I know," he said as he gave her a soft squeeze. "I didn't get around to asking you how Rick took it when you canceled lunch."

"Well…he didn't respond to my text so I figured maybe it would pass without much fanfare…but he showed up at my office awhile after Katie left."

"You probably should've seen that coming."

"Yeah, probably…I just didn't think he'd come to my office."

"Now you know otherwise."

"That's the truth."

"So how it go?"

"It went okay," she said before explaining the conversation.

Jim rubbed his hand against her arm. "You're okay with how it went?" he asked when she finished.

"Yeah…I think maybe he understands now that there are some things I just can't go back to."

"I hope he does understand that. I don't want you to feel the way you felt Tuesday again. I don't want anyone dragging you back under those clouds."

"I don't want that either…but hopefully he gets that now."

"Are you going back Tuesday?" Jim asked.

"Yeah."

"You're sure you're ready?"

Johanna nodded. "Yeah, I'll be okay…and I don't want him to think that I'm unwilling to give him another chance. I've got enough black marks against me."

"I understand," Jim murmured. "But you know I worry about you…I know it's easy for you to be hurt and I hate when you're in a situation where that always seems possible."

"I know; but it'll be fine," she replied as her buzzed again.

"Katie?" Jim asked.

"Yes."

"Is she okay?"

"There's been more throwing up but she's eating the crackers and drinking Ginger Ale now. She'll call in the morning with an update."

He laughed softly. "I guess this is a new stage of our lives, sweetheart; waiting on the morning sickness updates."

Johanna nodded. "I don't mind; it just means we get a baby to hold when it's all said and done."

Jim smiled as he pressed a kiss against her head. "Not just any baby; our grandchild."

"Yeah," she replied, a touch of awe in her voice. "Our sunshine after all the rain."

"That's right…and you're going to be such a wonderful grandmother."

"You're going to be a wonderful grandfather."

"I hope so," he replied. "I was thinking we should take my winnings from tonight and go pay off that bassinet this weekend and just hide it away. I know you put a deposit down but I still worry they might sell it and Katie won't end up with the one she wants."

"I have that worry too," Johanna replied. "I think it's a good idea. We don't have to tell her that we have it until she's further along."

"Right; so you want to do that this weekend?"

"Yeah, let's do that. I'd feel better if we had it here."

"Alright; then we'll go get it Saturday…and you can look around and see what you get tempted to buy next."

"Hey," Johanna laughed; "You just volunteered to take me into the baby store…maybe you want to baby shop."

He laughed. "You never know, I might see something I want to buy my grandchild."

"That would be nice, something just from you."

"I wonder what kind of stuffed animal the baby would like?" he mused.

"I think the baby will be happy with whichever one you pick for it."

Jim patted her arm. "I have this feeling we're going to have a reputation for spoiling our grandchild."

"I'm okay with that," Johanna replied lightly.

"Me too, sweetheart."

Johanna put her phone on the nightstand and then snuggled back against her husband, allowing thoughts of her soon to be grandchild to float across her mind instead of worrying about what topic her son-in-law might think up next.