Katara
When I woke up, there were tear stains on my pillow and although I don't remember them, I know she must have visited me in my dreams.
My face felt sore and my body ached. My nose was stuffed and my throat dry. Breathing felt like a difficult task I had to overcome. Although I had slept through the night, tiredness overcame me. I slowly lifted my head to scan the room. Confusion washed over me as I saw my room neatly organized. My head throbbed so I decided to lay my head on my already damp pillow. Apon making contact with the pillow, I smelled a familiar scent.
His scent still lingered on the pillow but he was not here. I quickly shot up and darkness entered my vision. I plopped to the floor, holding my forehead in the process.
„What happend?" A voice called out from the hallway. It echoed and made my head spin even more. The door swung open and Aang rushed over to me.
„What happened? Are you okay?" He held my arms as I slowly lowered them and looked into his eyes full of concern. The events of last night made their way into my mind.
„Tell me I had a nightmare. Tell me last night was just a bad dream, please." I pleaded with him. Darkness swept over his grey eyes.
„I wish I could." He held my arms as I stood up and pushed the hair out of my face. I wanted to speak but no words came. I only had one thing in mind now.
„I have to go." I pushed myself out of his embrace and headed over to the closet. After opening and taking notice of it's emptiness, I turned to Aang.
„I know. I already packed all of your clothes." I lowered my arms and couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes.
„Just eat first." I nodded and followed his lead out of the room. The hallway seemed eerily quiet. Everything felt quiet. I don't know how I could overcome this sea of sadness. We came to the end of it and Aang took my hand in his as he opened the door. I felt him squeezing my hand as the light from the door opening washed over us. In what I presumed to be the official dining room sat Zuko and Kyiosana already enjoying their breakfast. Their focus turned to us or me, I guess.
Their conversation stopped and their eyes didn't leave my sight. Aang must have noticed as he squeezed my hand and lead me past the big dining table. I obliged and followed him into the big kitchen. He closed the door behind us before turning to me.
„So they know?" The words left my mouth in a hurry. He cleared his throat and leaned his back against the wall.
„Yeah, I told them earlier. I hope that's okay. They were just asking about Nohran and the noise yesterday so I just ..." I pushed my messy hair back once more as I listend.
„It's fine. They would've found out eventually. You probably voiced it better than I could any way." It was true. I didn't know how I would describe it at all. It all felt so hollow.
„Well, are you- uhm are you okay?" I sensed doubt in his question. I lowered my head and contemplated his question. I didn't even want to lie and say yes.
„It's better to talk about it. Bottleling it all up inside isn't good for you. You will have so many emotions that you will eventually explode." He was right, I know it. I just didn't want to speak of it. I don't even know what I would say.
„But it will get better. It won't stay like this forever. The grief of losing her will reawaken as a new form of love." He stepped closer and the space suddenly felt so tight. I stepped away from him and shook my head.
„I know! You don't need to say all of at because I know already! You're not the only one who was lost someone before. I don't need you to give me all of this Avatar talk!" I don't know where all of this anger was coming from.
„Katara, I'm just trying to help." All he was doing was forcing me to talk when I didn't want to.
„I don't need your help." My eyes suddenly softened at his sweet face.
„If you ever do , I will be here." With that he turned around and left the kitchen. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked down. Shame filled my heart as I realized how mean I sounded. I really didn't mean to yell at him like that. I couldn't distinguish between anger and hurt. Somewhere deep inside me I felt both at the same time like a raging fire. I was shaking out of my thoughts as my stomach grumbled.
I was hungry but I had no appetite. The thought of food disgusted me. I wiped my tears and breathed out as I made my way outside too. I needed to leave right now. It was eating me up inside.
I swung the door open and found Zuko and Kyiosana in the same place as moments prior. Aang was not in sight though. There was silence for a few moments. Their eyes seemed full of judgement.
„Are you not going to eat anything?" Zuko finally spoke. He had addressed me finally. The way he spoke felt like he was carefully thinking about each word he said. I didn't want to be seen as a fragile object that might break if you're not careful. I never want to feel that way.
„No, I'm not hungry. I need to leave right now." He quickly stood up and pushed his chair back. Kyiosana remained seated through, with no sign of hurry.
„Right now? What's the hurry?" My eyes sharpened at his ridiculous question. Out of all people, I didn't think he would be so unsympathetic.
„What's the hurry?" I sarcastically asked him.
„The hurry, Zuko is my grandmothers funeral." I turned my back and made my way out of the room. This place was suffocating me and I needed to breathe.
I began running to my room and flung the door open. The hour was early and the sun shined brightly. It felt like the sun was canceling out the moon and with that my strength. I had never felt like this before. I began searching for my bag and all of my things inside of it. A noise startled me and my body turned around. At the door was Aang with a suitcase in hand.
„Are you not going to say goodbye?" I moved towards him, only looking at the suitcase in his hand.
„You didn't say goodbye when you left." I immediately regretted saying that, when I met his eyes. They were deep and melancholic. I was being unfair to him.
„Oh Aang, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." I moved away from him and sat on the bed. Embarrassment filled my heart alongside the grief already inside it. I didn't want to look into his eyes. I felt too ashamed.
„There's nothing wrong with you." He joined me on my bed.
„You're grieving and everyone does that differently. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it." I turned to him in reassurance.
„No, but you are right. I have a million things I want to say I just don't have the words for it. And frankly, speaking of it makes it real. I don't want it to be real." His hand placed itself on my bare shoulder and his heat ran through my body.
„But denying it will kill you." I nodded and closed my eyes. He was right. Why did he always have to be right?
„I know." His breathing calmed as mine did too.
„You know you will always have your memories of her. Her warmth is still here and her melody is still alive. It's just her body that is gone." My eyes followed his. Sadness was filled in them but something told me it wasn't for Gran Gran.
„You're talking about Gyatso too, aren't you?" His head quickly shot up and his eyes reeked of guilt.
„Its okay to miss him. It's okay to grieve for you too." I leaned over and placed my head on his shoulder as he relaxed and I felt the tenseness of his body leave. In that moment I realized that we were just two children burdened by the harsh reality of the world we had to save.
„Now we have to remember them for longer than we have known them." His words echoed in my mind as the truth of it spun inside.
„The world is cruel, isn't it?" A faint laugh escaped my lips. He lifted his head which prompted me to look at him.
„Not entirely." When silver met blue, two worlds collided. We understood each other without having to speak. He stared so deeply into my eyes that I thought he would drown in them. Tension built up as the inches between us lessend and-
„I arranged a ship for you to the South Pole." The door swung open and Zuko hastenly entered. We quickly separated and started at him.
„It leaves in an hour from the harbor." He awkwardly stated after which Aang got up and looked over at both of us.
„I'll take your things outside." Aang took my suitcase and began walking out. Just as his figure left the room, I turned to Zuko and knew I had to apologize.
„Thank you, Zuko." I stood up too and walked over to Zuko. A wave of awkwardness came in a rush. It was my queue to apologize.
„And I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that." The awkwardness soon left my thoughts as his features softened and a faint smile appeared.
„It's okay. It must be so hard for you right now. First Nohran leaves and now your grandmother. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going trough." His hand landed on my shoulder and I tried to contain the tears building up in my eyes.
„Thank you, really." I caressed the hand that lay on my shoulder before smiling and beginning to walk out.
„Katara." My name echoed in the room. My body turned to face him and his sad expression. He looked pale and worried.
„Don't shut yourself out." He spoke and I nodded in response.
„And don't shut Aang out. You mean more to him than you'll ever know. I need you to know that before you leave. Who knows how long you'll be gone." My lips parted on demand.
„Not three years." I jokingly said as he brushed past me and stood in the hallway.
„You better not." I joined him in heading outside. It felt nice to joke around and enjoy each others company. After trying my best to crack some more jokes to ignore the pending feelings inside my heart, we reached the gates where Aang and Kyiosana were already standing.
„What took you guys so long?" Kyiosana voiced and a headache immediately began to form.
„Just catching up some more before she leaves." Zuko saved me from raising my voice at her. A carriage was already prepared and waiting for me. I turned to Zuko.
„You didn't have to get me a whole carriage." My voice pitched as I saw Aang loading my bag into the carriage.
„Being the Firelord comes with a few perks. I drive Mai around the whole city with them. Drove." His eyebrows grow closer together, enough for me to notice.
„You know she won't be gone long." He shot up a stiff smile.
„I hope you're right." With that, he turned to Kyiosana prompting me to look over in confusion.
„Oh Kyiosana, I forgot one of Katara's bags in the dining room. Could you come look for it with me? We'll find it faster together." She scanned the situation for a few seconds before reluctantly following him. That left Aang and I alone in each others presence. Now I understand the ‚missing bag'.
„I guess this is goodbye." I spoke out, each word cutting deeper as I looked at the sorrow in his eyes. It wouldn't be for too long. I can feel it. He moved his hand up and brushed the lock of curly hair out of my face and behind my ear. His touch was so gentle. It broke me even more to leave.
„Not forever." He took a step closer to me and I tried to force a fake smile.
„No, I couldn't bear another year without you." His eyes shot up and mine bowed.
„Maybe it could do us some good." At that my head arose and my eyes scanned his face. He seemed to notice and took insight.
„I just mean that...distance gives a reason to love harder." My mouth fell dry at his words. Did he just tell me he lov-
Hot flames hit the air and we both jumped back. Aang immediately took a fighting stance and bended the fire away. About 7 or so men dressed in black started blasting fire balls at us. Aang quickly redirected their powers against them. Where was my pouch? Before I knew a man landed in front of me and tried to burn me which I managed to duck and pulled his leg in the process making him fall down.
„Katara!" I looked over in Aangs direction as he threw me my pouch.
Without hesitation I took it and bended all the water out before throwing it on the ground. I made a water circle around me and waterwhiped the tallest of the men as he hit the ground. I jumped back as another threw flames in my direction. I landed near Aang and we made a team as he took some water and we both charged at them. I froze the man's feet as I grunted and dodged his flames. Suddenly I heard footsteps and looked to see Zuko and a dozen guards running towards us.
„Watch out!" Aang earthbent a wall before me to stop the flames from reaching me.
„Thanks." A gasp escaped my lips as I saw Aang get burned from me distracting him. He airbended him into the air and then slammed him back down. I began running toward him as hot flames separated us. I turned to see Zuko firebending it.
„What are you doing?" My screams ran wild as the guards began fighting them off too.
„Go! Get out of here!" Is he kidding? I couldn't possibly leave now.
„I can't leave now!" I jumped up as to dodge the man's fire and froze his torso in place.
„You have to take the ostrich horse and get to the ship!" Aang yelled still fighting the men off. My eyes darted between the carriage and Aang. Tears welled up in my eye was I realized they were right.
„Go! We'll be okay." Aang was close to the carriage so I ran in his direction. I bended the water up and sliced the carriage free from the ostrich horse. The I turned around and froze the three men fighting Aang with my remaining water. It wouldn't hold them off long though. I quickly jumped into his arms and gave him a hug. Before completely pulling away, I gaze him a peck on the cheek.
„I'll miss you." I then said before jumping on the ostrich horse and riding away. I looked back one last time to see Aang still looking in my direction while holding his cheek. The men quickly freed themselves and ran towards Aang. Fear plotted itself in my mind but it was quickly extinguished as Aang threw them up in the air while still looking at me and with his back turned against them.
I gulped and finally turned around as he began defending himself again. My face quickly became soaked as I rode to the ship. Home.