Chapter 3: The Burden of Feeling

There was never any hesitation for him when it came to anything to do with her, ever. So, after a year of sterilized playdates, when Maria had insisted Shadow visit her room, he hadn't hesitated to agree. He was completely devoted to her. There was no doubt. Shadow didn't need to study human emotions, stories or meanings to understand. He would do anything she asked, be anything she wanted. He would follow where she went, or leave when she requested. He didn't care about anything else.

Maria, Maria, Maria.

He endured everything each day just for the chance to walk her down the hall to her tutoring sessions. To hold her warm, soft hand for a few minutes as they gazed down at Earth from the cool cage of the ARK. To secretly watch her rough sleep and listen to her rugged breaths in the bed of the medical wing after a bad spell with her NIDS. Although Maria likely didn't realize the intensity of his feelings, he adored her so deeply and purely that he wouldn't hesitate to stop time or end the world just to stay with her forever.

Professor Gerald Robotnik hadn't realized, it seems, that creating the Ultimate Lifeform would also create the ultimate capacity to love, complete with the ultimate, consuming madness that love itself inherently manifests.

If he had known, he would have without a doubt separated the two, doubting Maria's ability to understand or handle such complex and immeasurable agape. Maria was only eleven, and had never expressed a crush, let alone a love. She spent half her time in an exhausted daze due to her illness, with barely enough energy to leave the medical wing or her room, let alone socialize. Still, Maria had a rare and unique light and wisdom to her spirit, despite the brevity of her existence. This is one of many aspects Shadow admired about her. As an immortal, he existed in awe of how fearless Maria seemed in the face of imminent death. Fearless? No, that wasn't the right word. Light. Maria was always light.

His light.

"Shadow!" Maria called airily, snapping him out of his excited assessment of her room and gliding around. There was so much new to see and discover there, Maria's art, her photographs, her books… Although the room was small, it held an intense warmth unlike the other rooms on the ARK. And the scent. Maria's scent encompassed him, threatening his heart to burst. He closed his eyes and sighed, walking over to her obediently and languidly. "Yes, Maria?" answered Shadow quietly, staring at her as he always did. She smiled happily, laughing, "Come, sit next to me on my bed! I want to show you and tell you so many things now that we're finally together!" Shadow smiled vaguely, something Maria always enjoyed greatly as it was quite rare, and gently crawled up to sit beside her. Always remembering the Professor's warning to be respectful, Shadow kept his distance between them on the bed, but Maria quickly disregarded this precaution and scooted over to close the gap. Her heat sunk through his quills to his body, and made his entire frame warm. Maria was slightly leaned back, making Shadow's height at that moment taller than her own.

"Shadow… Do you remember the day we first met?" she whispered tentatively.

"Of course." he answered without any hesitation, leaning over to stare into her eyes. It was uncommon for them to be at this angle, and Shadow enjoyed feeling physically larger than her for once. Maria's eyes glistened with emotions that he couldn't decipher, but Shadow could tell they weren't sadness or pain, so he chose to stay silent and allowed her to continue.

"That day, when grandfather introduced us in the lab, I was worried you might not like me. You were staring at me so intensely and I felt silly, like you were being forced to babysit me or something. I wasn't expecting you to already be so mature and capable…" she trailed off in embarrassment at the memory. The unsaid portion of her words rung in her mind; "...I was expecting you to need me more, but I ended up just becoming a burden on you."

Maria continuously harbored guilt for the fact that Shadow endured weekly testing for the sake of a potential cure to her NIDS. Although her grandfather adamantly denied that this was the sole reason for Shadow's creation, she had her doubts. She wished that she could do more to repay him, and this internal shame burdened her much more than her ailment did.

Shadow's lids drooped a bit and he relaxed his torso and replied in a comforting whisper,

"I wasn't staring because I didn't like you. And that wasn't the first time we met, either."

"Huh? It was!"

"No."

"What do you mean, Shadow?" Maria insisted in her own whisper, eyebrows furrowed, but voice still full of affection. Was he messing with her? Or had she lost some sort of memories due to her illness or treatments?

"I remember everything, Maria. I remember you visiting me before the Professor ejected me from the Cryo-Pod. I remember you naming me. I remember you peeking at me through the lab windows during my tests, breaking the rules…" he smirked slightly, teasing her so that she wouldn't get too emotional. He knew Maria would be very touched by his words. She had a sensitive heart, especially when it came to anything sentimental.

"Oh, Shadow…" she began to tear up, taking his gloved hand gently into hers as she leaned fully back to lie down halfway on her bed, her legs still hanging over the edge. Shadow mirrored her actions gently, doing the same. "You remembered all of that? Really…?" Maria's voice cracked with impassion. Shadow sighed again as tears began to run down the sick girl's face. It wasn't good for her to get too worked up because it sometimes brought on an immune response, so Shadow was always watching his words, which Maria sometimes misinterpreted as mistrust.

"Maria… I didn't mean to upset you…" Shadow's eyes brimmed with guilt as he so carefully brushed a few tears from Maria's cheeks. Internally, he cursed himself. He should have known this would happen. Maria's heart wasn't old enough to understand the enormous weight of their bond. It was completely overwhelming at times, even for him, and Shadow was an immortal being with an untapped and unknown potential. He may have only been two years old, but there was no way of comparing his emotional capacity to that of eleven year old Maria's. They were too different, and Shadow was able to hold his love for her deep yet still retain control over himself, for the most part.

Maria, on the other hand…

"S-Shadow…" she rolled into him suddenly to hide her face, nuzzling into his chest fur, blubbering slightly, "I-I'm sorry! I'm not upset! I'm t-touched and happy that you remembered all that! Just give me a moment to regain m-myself, please…! There's so much I want to do with you today…" Shadow could only nod, in a heady daze from the sudden intimacy of her body close to his. On instinct, he began gently stroking her hair as Maria struggled to get ahold of herself.

"It's comfortable…" Shadow thought lazily, eyes lidding and limbs relaxing. His strokes slowed after a few minutes, and he soon fell into a peaceful slumber, exhaling deeply. Maria felt this development and stopped crying. She looked up to see the Ultimate Lifeform fast asleep with his arm draped around her shoulder. Maria felt a stabbing joy enter her chest, part happiness and part disappointment. She had been so excited to show Shadow around her room and get to know him better today… But ultimately, her main goal was to become closer to him and to gain his trust, and what better way to affirm that than to fall asleep beside her?

Maria put her arm around Shadow as well, and soon fell asleep just the same, the pair's legs dangling over the edge of Maria's tiny, baby blue space bed which floated like an insignificant speck in the universe. Only the light of the galaxy illuminated their blissful figures in that special moment, the first of many.