Chapter 4- We Were Victims of the Night
In the stillness of the night, Sasuke found peace in the simplest of gestures—holding Shanan's hand. This small act, born from a childhood moment of seeking comfort after a nightmare, had blossomed into a cherished ritual. For Sasuke, the feeling of Shanan's hand in his sparked a fragile hope – that the affection and trust they shared might one day blossom into something more.
Holding hands was the only form of intimacy Sasuke felt brave enough to ask of her. It was his way of showing her he was there for her, watching over her, just as she had watched over him. Every night, he'd wrap his fingers around hers, the gentle pressure reassuring him that she was safe.
Sasuke understood that Naruto and Shanan shared a deep bond, but it was much different. Naruto's affection for her was innocent, childlike and familial. Sasuke's feelings, however, were intense and romantic, beyond his years. He admired Naruto's boldness in showing his affection, but knew his own emotions required careful navigation. Holding hands was his compromise, a way to bridge the gap between his desire for connection and his fear of overstepping boundaries.
As they lay in the moonlit room, hands clasped, Sasuke felt a deep sense of contentment wash over him. The quiet intimacy of the moment wrapped around them, an easy silence that seemed to keep the world at bay.
Shanan, too, enjoyed these moments, knowing he needed her in this particular way. Initially, his hand-holding had been a comfort for his fears, but over time, it evolved into something more profound.
At first, her satisfaction came from easing his burdens, watching his tense shoulders relax at her touch. But as time passed, she began to crave the feeling of his hand around hers. The warmth spreading through her body became addictive, a sensation she couldn't shake. She wasn't sure why, but the feeling of his hand in hers had become incredibly soothing.
Sasuke's feelings for her went beyond friendship, and Shanan knew it. Yet, she didn't mind; in fact, she found it endearing. The way he'd ask to hold hands, his eyes searching hers for permission, was sweet. She found herself looking forward to this little routine of theirs.
As Sasuke remained vigilant, watching over her while she rested, Shanan felt grateful for him. His protectiveness enveloped her, symbolizing their mutual trust in one another.
In the silence, Shanan's thoughts wandered: Why did she cherish this simple act so deeply? Was it the sense of security, the closeness, or something more? She didn't have the answers, but as Sasuke's hand held hers, she knew she didn't need them. This feeling, this shared joy, was enough…
And then, without warning, a profound longing began to simmer beneath the surface of their daily lives. It started with fleeting moments, but soon grew into an all-consuming ache that neither of them could shake. Every waking thought seemed to circle back to the simple, intimate act of holding hands.
Sasuke found himself distracted, his gaze drifting to his hand as if beckoned by an unseen force. The world around him – the lunchroom's din, the familiar faces – receded into the background, leaving only the haunting sense of incompleteness that only Shanan's touch could soothe.
Sakura, sitting across from him, stared intensely, as she usually did, her eyes narrowing. "Sasuke, you're staring at your hand again," she said.
His eyes snapped up, his expression guarded. "Yeah. What about it?" he asked, though this was news to him.
"You've been doing that a lot lately."
He looked at her incredulous, his annoyed silence was his only response.
Naruto, sitting beside Sasuke, chimed in, teasing. "That's the hand he holds Shanan's hand with when they're sleeping!"
Sakura's eyes widened, shock and jealousy flashing across her face. "You sleep in the same bed as her?" she asked. "That's… inappropriate. She's older than you, and—"
Sasuke's expression darkened. "Mind your business, Sakura," he told her. His impatience with her had already worn thin.
"Besides," Naruto said. "I've shared a bed with her for four years. What's the big deal?"
"It isn't right!" Sakura said. "Boys and girls should sleep separately."
"Oh," Naruto's brow furrowed, he'd never heard anyone else tell him he shouldn't share a bed with Shanan. But he'd never brought it up before either. "Why not?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just drop it, Naruto, we don't owe her or anyone else an explanation. I bet when she has a bad dream, she cries and climbs into bed with mommy and daddy."
She swallowed hard, her guilty face pale.
"Well, we don't have parents… but we do have Shanan," Naruto said thoughtfully.
Sasuke stood up, his chair scraping against the floor. "Exactly. Who cares what other people think, least of all, Sakura?"
He walked away, leaving Sakura's mouth hanging open, indignation etched all over her face.
Meanwhile, in her own classroom, Shanan struggled to focus on her lessons. Her eyes drifted toward the boys' class, despite the separating walls. She'd catch herself staring, running her fingers through her hair, feeling as though she'd left something behind. Shaking her head, she'd refocus on her reading, only to find herself staring at the wall again without realizing.
As lunch approached, her gaze drifted, her thoughts caught in a gentle haze. A pang of longing settled in, like a whispered promise unfulfilled. It was as if she'd misplaced something precious, leaving an ache that echoed through her. Though she knew the boys were at lunch, her mind lingered on Sasuke, wondering what he was doing at that moment. It felt like a part of her was missing, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to be near him.
Night's darkness enveloped the village, and Sasuke and Shanan settled into their usual nighttime routine. They lay side by side, their joined hands seeming to glow with a soft, ethereal light.
Shanan had long since noticed a curious connection between holding hands with Sasuke and their dreams. Oftentimes her own dreams were related to him – romantic and complicated. But other times he'd pull her into his dreams.
In those dreams, she'd experience the depth of his emotions, and feel the weight of his burdens. She'd dream of facing Itachi Uchiha, feeling the fear and sadness that Sasuke had endured the night of the massacre. She'd walk in his shoes, feeling the anguish of finding his parents' bodies and the crushing sense of inadequacy that had haunted him ever since.
Waking from those dreams left her heartbroken, yet she instinctively knew how to ease his panic. She'd brush her fingers through his hair and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, and his face would relax, the grip on her hand loosening as her voice soothed him.
Tonight's dream, however, was one of her romantic, complicated ones. Shanan was herself, and Sasuke stood beside her, smiling as they wandered through the village. Hand in hand, they strolled along the winding streets, passing familiar landmarks.
They walked by the old oak tree outside of the Ninja Academy where Shanan often sat reading, its branches swaying gently in the breeze. They passed the ramen shop, the aroma of steaming noodles wafting through the air.
But as they made their way home, the neighborhood transformed. The streets darkened, and the trees seemed to loom menacingly over them. Dead bodies lay scattered around them, their faces frozen in silent screams. The air thickened with the stench of fear and blood.
Sasuke's grip on Shanan's hand tightened, his eyes scanning their surroundings with a terrified expression. His heartbeat quickened, and his breathing shallowed. Recognition dawned on his face – a nightmare revisited.
"Shanan," he whispered, apology and fear mingling in his eyes. "I'm–"
"Sasuke," Itachi said, emerging from the shadows. "You've brought someone into our family's business." His eyes locked onto Shanan, a cold, calculating glint in their depths.
Sasuke stepped forward, positioning himself between Shanan and Itachi. The sound of his heartbeat echoed in Shanan's ears, and she felt his tension through their joined hands.
But before Sasuke could even try to stop him, Itachi was in front of Shanan, his kunai flashing in the dim light. The blade's edge glinted, casting a faint reflection on the nearby puddles. Shanan tried to scream, but her voice was trapped in her throat.
She felt the kunai drive into her chest, a searing pain spreading through her body. The sensation was vivid, like a burning flame igniting within her. Her vision blurred, and the last thing she saw before waking up was Sasuke falling to his knees, his eyes fixed on her with a helpless, desperate expression, tears streaming down his face.
She sat up, clutching her chest where she felt the kunai go in. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her heart still racing from the dream. She gathered herself for a moment and then looked down at Sasuke, whose real tears were streaming into his hair, still deep in his nightmare.
She leaned in, her breath whispering against his ear as she gently stroked his hair, coaxing him awake with a soft, soothing touch.
His eyes fluttered open, unfocused at first, as he slowly surfaced from the depths of his dream. A flicker of fear and confusion danced across his face. "Shanan?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.
As he sat up, his movements were slow, almost tentative. He rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off the vivid images that lingered. His chest heaved, and his hands trembled slightly. Then, his gaze drifted back to Shanan, ensuring she was safe. He lingered on her face, his expression softening, before looking away, his jaw clenched as he struggled to compose himself.
The nightmare clung to his psyche, refusing to be forgotten. His mind replayed the images: Itachi's kunai, Shanan's pain, his own helplessness. He felt a sting of embarrassment for crying, but Shanan's gentle squeeze on his hand soothed him.
At the other end of the bed, Naruto slept peacefully, oblivious to the turmoil that had shaken the pair awake.
Shanan nodded toward Naruto. "Hey, let's go to the roof. We don't wanna wake him up."
Sasuke nodded silently, still struggling to shake off the dream's aftermath. He stood, his movements stiff, and followed Shanan out of the apartment.
They settled into the chairs on the rooftop, side by side, the night sky stretching above them. The scent of blooming cherry blossoms and the earthy smell of the nearby forest wafted through the air, carrying the sweet essence of the night.
"I know that was scary, Sasuke," she said softly. "But it was just a dream."
His gaze remained fixed on the horizon, his emotions churning beneath his stoic surface. "You know what was scary?" he asked.
She turned to him, her eyes lingering on his profile, her heart pounding silently. "Watching me die," she said.
His expression faltered, shock etched on his face as he turned to her. "You saw my dream?"
"Yeah." Her gaze drifted back to the stars. "I see that dream a lot, actually. But… I'm usually you. That's why Itachi's never killed me before. But this time, I guess I intruded, and… he didn't like that."
For a moment, he just stared, his eyes searching hers. Then, his face contorted in a mix of guilt and regret. "Shanan, I… I had no idea. I'm sorry." His eyes dropped. "I'm sorry I dragged you into my dreams, into my nightmares. I never wanted you to see me like that – scared, helpless."
Her hand reached out, her touch gentle on his arm.
"I don't ever wanna burden you with anything," he continued, "or make you worry about me. But I do kinda feel better, knowing you're there… It makes me feel less alone."
"Sasuke," Shanan said gently. "I want you to burden me. I don't ever want you to feel alone. Not for one second. Please, tell me things."
As she spoke, she sat up to face him, her eyes filled with a deep understanding. Sasuke's gaze met hers, and for a moment, they just looked at each other, the only sound the distant hum of crickets.
"I've seen that dream so many times," she continued. "And I've never said anything because I wanted you to be the one to come to me. I didn't want you to feel bad or embarrassed."
Sasuke's expression faltered, and he looked away, his eyes drifting toward the stars. Shanan's expression turned sympathetic, her brow furrowing with concern.
"And even though I've seen it and experienced it as you, I know it isn't the same," she said. "I know I don't really know how you feel. I'm sorry you have that dream so often. And I'm sorry I haven't been able to pull you away from it."
Sasuke's gaze returned to hers, a soft smile curving his lips. "The fact that you don't judge me for being so weak means everything to me," he said.
"I don't think you're weak…"
"I know." His gaze drifted downward. "But still… I need to get stronger, to protect you—and everyone else."
Shanan sighed. "It's not your responsibility to do that, you know?"
His jaw clenched.
"I know you think it is, but it isn't. You don't really believe you could've prevented what Itachi did, do you?"
"No," he whispered. Sasuke's eyes locked onto hers, the desperation in them making her heart ache. "But I need to prevent it from happening again." The haunting image of Itachi killing Shanan flashed in his mind. "Next time, it might not be just a dream. And I couldn't live with myself if–"
"Oh, Sasuke… " she said, her understanding gaze meeting his.
Sasuke's voice cracked as he spoke. "But, if I'm stronger than Itachi, then I'll be stronger than anyone. No one I… love… will ever be hurt again."
"So, all you have to do is become the strongest person alive?" she asked, her eyebrow raised.
"It sounds insane, but yeah." His gaze held hers.
A soft, gentle chuckle escaped her lips before she spoke again. "Well, if Itachi can do it, then I know you can." She moved to sit next to him in his chair. "You're capable of anything, Sasuke!"
She held out her hand, and his face softened. He smiled, nodding, and intertwined his fingers with hers. Together, they gazed up at the star-filled sky, the twinkling lights above paling in comparison to the one shining brightly beside him.
The rest of the night passed peacefully, Sasuke and Shanan sleeping hand in hand once more, their worries temporarily forgotten.
Naruto continued to slumber soundly, his limbs sprawled across the bed. As he drifted through the night, he'd instinctively snuggle up to Shanan for warmth or kick off the blankets, his body temperature constantly fluctuating. Whenever he inadvertently touched Sasuke, a gentle smack would follow, but it never roused him from his slumber…
The next morning, Iruka Sensei held Naruto and Sasuke back after class, his expression serious. "I need to discuss something with you two."
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged curious glances.
"Your sleeping arrangements," Iruka continued. "While nobody can dictate what you do at home, others might raise an eyebrow. Boys and girls your age should really sleep separately."
"Wait," Naruto asked, confusion etched on his face. "Why do we need to do that?"
"Let's just say it's customary."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, his annoyance evident. "I knew she'd make a big deal out of it," he muttered, walking away.
Naruto's eyes widened as the realization dawned on him. "Oh! Sakura told you!"
At home, they reluctantly decided to take Iruka's advice, altering their routine and their comfort to accommodate the expectations of others.
"We'll take bedrolls on the floor," Naruto said. "You can have the bed, sis!"
Shanan protested, but the boys were persistent. Though neither of them really wanted to change what they had been doing.
As they settled into their new sleeping arrangements, Sasuke ensured their nightly ritual remained unchanged. He'd lie on his back, his arm stretching up to meet Shanan's hand, which dangled gracefully over the bed's edge as she slept on her stomach. Their fingers intertwined, a quiet comfort in each other's presence.
As the night enveloped them, Sasuke's gaze lingered on Shanan's face, his heart filled with gratitude and overwhelming affection. The soft hum of Naruto's snores provided a comforting background, a familiar sound that brought him peace.
Though they'd graduated to separate beds, Sasuke was struck by how closely they still slept, their bond seemingly immune to physical distance. Naruto still instinctively sought him out, his limbs tangling with Sasuke's in the dead of night, while Shanan's dreams now seemed to beckon him, drawing him into her subconscious world where he found solace in visions far sweeter than any he could conjure alone.