Hello all! Thanks for reading! In this chapter Alcina confesses her feelings for Beatrice, but will Beatrice be receptive?
June 19th, 1930:
"Close your eyes."
"No, Alci," Beatrice said. "The last time you told me to do that, you poured water on my face."
"I assure you, Beatrice, I will not do that again. Besides we are nowhere near the stream! Where on earth would I fetch the water from?"
Beatrice eyed her over suspiciously before she finally complied.
"Now lay back," Alcina said softly, slowly guiding Beatrice down onto the picnic blanket.
Beatrice could not help but giggle.
"Now what?"
"Just relax," she said. "Relax… listen to the wind; the birds singing. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin."
Beatrice took in a deep breath, tranquil.
"There is one more thing," Alcina said after a moments silence.
"What is that?"
Alcina smiled down at Beatrice. Taking in her beauty. The light shining down upon her in an ethereal glow. She leaned forward and placed a kiss to her plump, red lips.
Beatrice opened her eyes, a little surprised by the action.
"Alcina…" her cheeks were beginning to redden. "I…" she then stood up and walked towards the big oak tree a few inches from them. The only source of shade they could find from the hot summer sun.
Alcina sat up and watched her, waiting patiently for her to turn around and speak.
"I am… confused," she went on, placing a hand on the bark and glancing back at her.
"You should not be," Alcina consoled her. "We are best friends. It is natural for best friends to love each other, yes?"
Beatrice stared over at Alcina with tears now glimmering in her brown eyes. Her blonde hair swaying beautifully in the wind.
"I know, but I—I do not think I feel /that/ way."
"Oh…" Alcina said, getting up and remaining away from her. The uncomfortable silence between them making it even more awkward. "I am sorry."
"Do not be. We have been together since we were children."
"I know, but it is difficult for me," Alcina said. "I still have another few years of school and you are off into the real world. It is hard for me to bear the thought of you alone… and what we share has felt different than my normal relationships with the other girls."
"Shall we run away together, then?" Beatrice said beginning to smile. "Our own island. Perhaps a place near Greece."
"Why Greece?"
"I find it rather romantic. Not to mention the culture and the art. A land of wonder and mystery."
"You were always the romantic," Alcina said, beginning to laugh.
"You as well," Beatrice said, her gaze drifting away from Alcina once more. Her fingers combing through her blonde hair.
Silence.
"Beatrice!" the call of her mother grabbed both girls' attention.
"I must go, Alci… I will be gone the rest of the summer…" Her eyes glimmering with tears as she looked back in the direction of the abbey. "I shall see you at my graduation party in July." She stepped up to Alcina and placed a kiss to her cheek, and without another word ran in the direction of the abbey.
Alcina watched her go with both sadness and guilt in her heavy heart. Why did she kiss her? Why would she so stupidly say all those silly things? She would not be in the least bit surprised if she never heard from Beatrice again…
When she got to the manor, she entered inside to find all was quiet and calm. She walked up the stairwell, knowing her mother was no doubt busy, but she wanted to speak with her about what she had professed to Beatrice. She had never been in love before. Crushes, of course, but to truly love someone…
"Mother?" she knocked on her bedchamber door.
No answer.
She turned away and headed for the study and knocked on the door.
"Mother?"
"Come in, Alcina."
Her mother was seated behind the desk, her attention directed down to paper she was writing on. She looked up at Alcina with a smile.
"Did you enjoy your time with Beatrice?"
"I did. She is leaving soon."
"I know, my darling," Lady Daciana said.
"Mother…" Alcina could feel her heart starting to beat faster. "May I ask you a question?"
"Of course," she said, setting down the pen.
"I, um, I said something to Beatrice…, and I am worried that what I have said may have scared her away."
Lady Daciana removed her glasses, placing her full attention on her daughter.
"What did you say?"
"I said that I love her. That I love her more than a friend and sister," Alcina said. "Was I wrong to express that to her? Is this feeling simply an infatuation or a crush? And is it wrong that I should even feel this way towards her?"
"Love is tricky," Lady Daciana said. "Do you remember Baron Kerg? You would always call him, 'prince'."
"Yes, Mother," Alcina said. "I still have the doll he had purchased for me all those years ago."
"Well, just like you and Beatrice, Magnus and I met at a young age and became instant friends. We would always be together. There was always chemistry between us, but neither of us were sure about our feelings. I asked the same question to myself over and over. Is it hormones? An infatuation? I will be honest and tell you it took a long time for me to realize I loved him. Then we went our separate ways when we graduated. Life happened and I met your father, but I felt that a piece of my heart was missing. Now know I loved your father with all my heart, but something within me was not complete. It was when Magnus would come visit us during parties we would host did I feel so happy. That missing piece within me was filled. And as we danced, I saw it in his eyes. In a room of a hundred people, and there were over one hundred people in attendance at our parties, Magnus and I would find one another immediately. Does that sound familiar, Alci?"
"I think so," Alcina said. "She is leaving and my chest hurts. I feel empty."
"Just like it was when Magnus left the final time…"
Alcina's eyes shimmered with tears.
"Oh, Alcina, do not cry," Lady Daciana whispered, feeling her throat tightened. "Take a seat and stay with me awhile."
Alcina did so, wiping a few stray tears off her cheek.
"I am so happy you have found someone whom you so deeply love," Lady Daciana said. "I truly believe so many people do not find their true loves."
"But I do not think she loves me in that way…"
"Do you know that for certain?"
"Well… no. She seemed a bit uncomfortable, and she ran away quickly once her mother called her to the abbey…"
"Give her some time to think things through," Lady Daciana said. "I remember when your father professed his love for me, I needed a little time to think things through."
"Because you love the prince."
"Yes," Lady Daciana said. "I suppose I did not hide my feelings for Magnus as well as I thought."
Alcina shook her head at her.
"Did you love Father just as much?"
Lady Daciana's face twisted slightly as she thought of Quentin.
"Your father was a good man. My mother introduced us during a party. It was not immediate like Magnus, but I felt a part of my heart already belonged to your father and the other half belonged to Magnus. I started to feel cursed. I could never have one without losing the other." Lady Daciana chuckled bitterly. "And in the end I lost both of them…, but what I found was another true love. One that was everlasting and would never go away. Two pieces that filled the two halves of my heart."
"What love was that?"
"Being a mother, Alcina."
Alcina smiled at that, though she still felt the heaviness in her heart.
"It is hard to know Beatrice and I may never be…"
"I know, my darling, and I hope someday our world will become a little more accepting of such romances, as how House Dimitrescu accepts all to express themselves in every way."
"Thank you, Mother," Alcina said, reaching out for her mother's hand.
Lady Daciana took hold of her child's hand and squeezed it.
"I love you. Always."
"Always, Mother…"
{…}
Alcina's Journal: Entry one
The summer has dragged on. I find myself tending to the daily ritual of following my mother about. She has given me a few chores to be in charge of. She will check on me occasionally, and once she is satisfied I am doing them to her standards, she leaves me be.
I do not mind this, for it keeps my mind off things. I try not to think of school. I try not to think of Beatrice, but even so she is never far from my thoughts. I miss her already. How much fun we had in school. The mischief we would get into when our mother's would come together for a visit. I would take her to the peach tree, or if my mother and I visited her vast estate, we would go to the lake.
I think back in amazement that neither of us had fallen into the lake and drowned. We would play tag, hide and seek, or simply lay on our backs and stare up at the clouds.
I truly miss those days…
Alcina closed her journal, placing the pen inside to mark the page. She stood up from underneath the peach tree, diverting her attention to her left at the sound of a horse whinnying. It had been many years since they had had horses. Her mother deciding to keep up with the times and purchase two new vehicles.
Alcina followed the sound across the field. Not too far away there was a fence. This fence belonged to the Stanislav's. Her father many years ago had permitted them to use the field for their horses. It kept the grass low and tame. She remembered hearing her father complaining of how long it would get.
Alcina clicked her tongue at the horse. A large, white Appaloosa. Its mane had a little gray in it. Its muzzle pinkish.
"Hello," Alcina said, walking straight up to the fence.
The horse whinnied, staring straight at her with its big, black eyes.
"I see you are alone, too. I wish I had an apple to give you," she said. "You are beautiful."
Alcina stood there for another ten minutes, continuing to talk to the animal. Slowly it started to approach her. Alcina even more astonished to see the full size of him as he got nearer.
She reached her hand out. Palm up for the horse to sniff.
He snorted, shaking his massive head to get the flies away.
"I know it is very buggy out here," she said, patting his nose.
"Nokota!"
The horse's ears went straight up at the sound of a voice calling him.
"Your master?" Alcina said. "You best go and find him."
Nokota released a low whinny, turning away from Alcina and trotting away from her.
"Nokota!" the voice rang out across the field again.
Alcina went back to the fence almost every day to see the horse. Some days he would be there and other days he would not. It would be on the tenth day that she would see Nokota, but he was not alone. There was a young man in the field with him. Alcina could not believe how the large horse was walking beside him, like he were a dog.
She did not recognize the young man at first. His reddish-brown hair tied back in a pony tail. His boyish face had not a strand of facial hair. She was about to walk away. Not wanting to intrude, but it was then did Nokota whinny. The unmistakable sounds of his hooves booming across the field in her direction.
"Hello," Alcina smiled at him, reaching into her dress pocket. "I brought you an apple. I know you prefer pears, but I was not allowed to take one."
She fed him the apple, her attention averted towards the young man, who was approaching them with his hands clasped behind his back. It was then did she realize who he was.
Fredric Stanislav. The youngest son of Duke and Dame Stanislav.
"So this is who I spied last week saying hello to Nokota."
"Lord Fredric."
"Call me, Fredric," he said, offering out his hand for her to shake.
"I believe we have met a few times," Alcina said, shaking his hand.
"When we were younger. I remember we met at the swing your father had put up for you."
"Yes, I remember how you would always force me to push you."
Fredric's cheeks burned red.
"D-did I?"
"Mm-hm," Alcina smirked, turning back to Nokota. "Your horse is beautiful."
"He was a show horse in his prime," Fredric said, patting his neck. "And now he gets to live the rest of his life retirement free."
"He has a good life here," Alcina said. "I can see he is well cared for and loved by you."
"You had horses at one point," Fredric said.
"We did, but my mother never liked them. Once the last horse we had passed away, she never bought anymore. Instead she bought a few vehicles as our transportation."
"What became of the barn?"
"She uses it as storage for barrels."
"That is a shame," Fredric said. "Horses are magnificent creatures. Highly intelligent."
"Yes they are," Alcina said, patting Nokota's head again, her gaze fixed on Fredric's green eyes. Never had she noticed how they shone like emeralds. Her cheeks suddenly flushed as he looked at her, her attention returning to Nokota.
"Next time I will bring his saddle and you may ride him," Fredric said.
"R-really?"
"Sure," he said. "Can you be here tomorrow in the morning?"
"What time?"
"9:00."
"I will be here…"
{…}
Journal Entry:
I met Fredric at the allotted time. He had the saddle just as he promised. It took his help for me to get into the saddle. Nokota was wonderful for me. I'm sure he could sense I was nervous, but he never bucked or went too fast. Fredric watched him carefully for any signs of him growing agitated or tired. Nokota was an older horse and his temperament was sometimes hard to read.
'You are a natural!' he acclaimed to me.
Fredric and I would meet there almost every day with Nokota with him. I feel so happy, though I feel my mother is growing suspicious of where I go. She has not mentioned anything, nor asked me questions. I suppose she knows I will tell her at some point…
A knock sounded at her door, making Alcina quickly close her notebook and stand up as her mother entered the room.
"Mother."
"You have a visitor, Alci. He is waiting for you in the Main Hall."
Alcina stared straight at her mother. She was not smiling. Her arms crossed over her chest.
"May I ask who?"
"I think you already know."
Alcina passed her mother quietly and walked down to the Main Hall.
"Fredric."
He looked up at her with a sad smile.
"Hello, Miss Alcina," he said. "I apologize for coming to your home unannounced, but there is something I wish to speak with you about."
Alcina glanced back at the sound of footsteps. Her mother standing at the top of the stairwell with the same cold demeanor.
"Lady Dimitrescu," Fredric bowed his head respectfully.
"Good afternoon, young Stanislav."
"May I speak with your daughter?"
"You may," Lady Daciana said.
Alcina turned back to Fredric, noticing the sadness in his eyes.
"Let's go," Alcina said to him, leading the way outside. "Would you like to walk through the garden?"
"Whatever you like," he said.
Alcina led him to the garden, not liking how quiet he had become.
"What is going on?"
"Nokota," he said, clearing his throat. "He fell ill last night. My father called the vet. Nokota has stood up, but he is not eating nor drinking water."
Tears welled in Alcina's eyes at the news.
"Fredric, I am so sorry," she touched his arm to comfort him.
"I just don't understand. He was fine and then…" he looked away from Alcina to hide the tears welling in his own eyes.
"Could the apples and pears I have been feeding him done something?"
"No. No that was not it at all. I was feeding him the same things. No, he is just old. The cranky old man as my brother calls him." He quickly wiped a stray tear off his cheek. "Damn horse…"
Alcina tightened her grip on him.
"There is nothing wrong with loving an animal, and there is nothing wrong with crying for Nokota. The horse is almost human the way he communicates with you."
"He is," Fredric chuckled, wiping away another tear.
"Thank you for letting me know about him," Alcina said.
"I knew you would want to know. Instead of you going to the field to find him not there and worrying."
Alcina continued to hold onto his arm as they circled back around to the garden entrance.
"I will keep you updated on him," Fredric said.
"Thank you," Alcina said, standing up on her tiptoes and giving him a peck to his cheek in comfort.
His red-rimmed eyes held hers for a moment. Something stirring within Alcina as she gazed on him. A strange feeling that somehow felt so familiar. It was almost like being with Beatrice. She had not noticed it until now.
Once Fredric had gone, Alcina returned back inside the manor. Surprised to find her mother was not waiting for her. No doubt she was disappointed to be in communication with Fredric Stanislav. Her mother never liked the family. The father was a terrible gambler and the mother was a terrible acholic. They were a family who found their way into money through the hard work of their great-grandparents. And now they were able to live off the fat of the land.
A week would pass by and Fredric would return to the manor to inform Alcina of Nokota's passing. The two taking another long walk through the garden. Fredric would talk off and on. All he really needed was to be in the company of a friend.
"I will miss him," Fredric said, the two seated on a bench that gazed upon a Grecian fountain of two lions. "My brother laughs at me for how emotional I am, but I do not care. Roderick is a selfish fool. My mother has promised to buy me another white horse, but I do not think I want one. I do not think I can go through this pain again."
"Time will heal your bleeding heart," Alcina reassured him. "I promise you. Perhaps one day you will decide to get another horse."
Fredric released a heavy sigh.
"I thank you again, Miss Alcina, for speaking to me. To allow me to go through these emotions."
"Call me, Alcina," she said.
"Alcina," he said, starting to smile.
{…}
Night:
Alcina was donned in her night robe and walking to her mother's room. She knocked on the door before she entered. Her mother was seated in the bed and reading a book.
"Goodnight, Mother."
Lady Daciana looked up at Alcina, setting her book beside her and motioning her over.
"I want to speak with you for a moment, darling."
Alcina walked closer to the bed.
"I will need your help tomorrow with the shipments."
"Yes, Mother," Alcina said.
"May I inquire why the Stanislav boy wanted to meet with you?"
"He wanted to tell me his horse had to be put down the other day."
"His horse?"
"Nokota was the horse's name. He was a beautiful Appaloosa. I met the horse out by the fence. He was grazing in the field Father had permitted the Stanislav's to use for their horses. I would bring him apples and pears."
"So that was what that was about," Lady Daciana said. "Phoebe was mentioning how we seemed to be low in supply."
"Sorry," Alcina said. "Fredric was very upset with Nokota's passing and wanted me to know."
"The Stanislavs…" Lady Daciana just shook her head.
Alcina frowned, growing angry at her.
"What is so bad about them?"
"For one Dame Stanislav is a raging acholic, rude and unsophisticated. Duke Stanislav is decent, but is a bad gambler. He spends money faster than he earns it. I remember how we would be invited to their little parties. Your father forcing me to attend with him. We would bring you along, because Dame Stanislav hoped you would become a potential suitor for one of her sons. Fredric was always kind to you. Including you in whatever game he was playing with his brother…"
"But he would not be good enough for me?"
Lady Daciana met Alcina's gaze. Noting the growing dander there.
"Do you see him as a potential suitor for you?"
Alcina did not anticipate her mother saying that.
"N-no," she shook her head. "I see him as a friend that is all."
"That is how it started with Magnus and I."
"My relationship with Fredric is different!" Alcina fumed.
"Why are you so agitated, darling?"
"Why must you stick your nose in my business!"
"Because I want you to be happy. That is all I want," Lady Daciana said softly, wanting to defuse this interaction. "I want you to live your life with little regret where I have a lifetime of regrets. I do not want you to make similar mistakes I have made."
"What mistakes? Father? Magnus? Me?"
"No you are not a mistake. Never!" Lady Daciana snapped. "You are the greatest thing that ever happened in my life."
Alcina watched as her mother's shoulders dropped in defeat. She always sensed her mother harbored a secret. Something that had to do with she and Baron Kerg, but she had never found the courage to ask her mother.
"You have always shielded me," Alcina said. "Kept me steered on the right path. As of right now the only regret I have is Beatrice, but to think you can stop me from having regret Mother is silly. There are things you cannot protect me from."
"And that is why it is so difficult being a mother," Lady Daciana said. "The reason why I am so hard on you. Trying to teach you everything I have learned, because one day I will not be here to help you."
Alcina felt her heart ache at the sight of her mother in such pain. The sorrow making her look older. Something Alcina had never noticed before. Her blue eyes were not as bright. Her black hair beginning to show some signs of gray.
She did not know what to say to comfort her, for the thought of her mother one day not being with her was almost too much to bear. Alcina approached her mother and hugged her. Kissing her cheek firmly to remind her of how much she loved her. How much she was thankful to have her. How proud she was to be the daughter of Lady Daciana Dimitrescu.
Lady Daciana wrapped her arms around Alcina and whispered into her ear:
"When the day finally comes when I am to leave this world, I will tell you who occupies the other half of my heart. Do not be angry with me, for I have made a vow to myself I would tell you in time, but I am not ready yet. Not yet."
"I understand, Mother." Alcina kissed her cheek again.
"Thank you, Alci."