A/N: Hi everyone! So it's a not that long of a chapter - apologies! I've been pretty ill this past week but starting to feel better now. I officially finish my first year of my MH nursing degree tomorrow and from then I have a few months off so you can expect longer chapters coming out frequently! My direction with the story has changed, originally it was only going to be maybe a two-shot but now it's going down a longer route. Hope you guys don't mind a little slow-burn, I need to give the girls a proper reconciliation.

Thank you for all your reviews, it's been so lovely to receive for my first fic! It really does motivate me to write every time I see one, I reach for my laptop :)

All mistakes are my own - and my wife's when she gets around to reading these last few chapters!

Restless, overanalysing everything

You reached across these sheets for me

And though we never touched in that midnight glow

Every part of me, you begged to know

I look into your eyes, and I see my own

Almost like you always knew me

What a horrifying feeling

Sick Joke

By Xana

Callie had begun to stir under her bedsheet, trying to cling on to her dream-like state. She could feel the warmth of her wife lying next to her, picturing how the blonde waves would cascade across her pillow and gently tickle Callie's cheek. Knowing that in a few moments, she would move closer to nuzzle into her neck and place a kiss behind Arizona's ear.

Her hand travelled across to the other side of the bed to reach for the blonde, finding it empty and cold.

'Calliope… we can't.'

The brunette startled, jolting herself forwards. The memory of last night's events rushed back to her in a wave of guilt.

Fuck.

I almost kissed Arizona.

Her head was throbbing, an almighty ache pulsating behind her eyes. Her pain increased further as her girlfriend appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, Calliope, you're awake." Penny said, lent against the doorframe.

"Morning," Callie's voice was strained from sleep. She rubbed a palm across her tired face and looked up at the redhead, "Where did you…"

"The couch, I didn't want to assume you wanted to share a bed last night. I didn't hear you come in, otherwise I would have asked." Penny sounded surprising calm, without malice in her tone.

"Ah, yeah I drank quite a bit after you left, ended up coming home pretty late," she muttered. Callie wasn't sure how to approach talking to Penny about their argument.

Her girlfriend must have caught onto her uncertainty, "Calliope, about last night. I… thought about what you said a lot after I left."

Callie straightened, lacing her fingers together in her lap, "You did?"

She was waiting for Penny to say it, say that they were over and take away her guilt.

Penny nodded, "I did, and I'm not going to lie and say I'm happy about it, but I suppose I… understand."

Callie scrunched her brow, confusion etching across her features, "You didn't seem very understanding last night. What changed? Because I can't change how I feel Penny, I can't just change overnight and for you to expect me to-"

"Let me speak, Calliope," her girlfriend softly spoke, "It was a shock, I really thought we were both at that point in our relationship. That wasn't the case, and I got defensive, made up some story in my head that you didn't love me because you still had feelings for Arizona which I know now, was wrong," Penny seated herself on the edge of the bed, reaching over to hold Callie's hands.

"I get it. You thought that she was the love of your life, and then she betrayed you. I know it's more about learning to trust me and it's hard for you after how much she hurt you, Calliope. I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm happy to wait until you're ready."

Callie felt sick.

Is she wrong? Do I still have feelings for Arizona?

Callie nodded towards Penny, "Okay", she forced a smile onto her lips and let her girlfriend press a light peck onto her mouth.

I almost kissed my ex-wife last night and now I'm here pretending it never happened.

Callie had just finished a 6 hour surgery when she decided that she needed rest, otherwise the second half of her shift would be unbearable. It didn't help that she'd been called in early, waking her at 4am when a car accident came in.

Surgery was her haven; it took her mind off everything else.

Outside of that room, she was doubting herself, the life she had created and all the shit that came with it. But in the OR, all her focus was on her patient – she had to be at her best. An unstoppable force of surgical greatness. She built bones out of nothing, recreated the core components of her patients. In there, Callie Torries was a god.

Now, back in the real world, she was exhausted. It wasn't just from lack of sleep, Callie was exhausted by everything that had happened in the last few days, with no broken, crushed bones to distract her.

Callie hadn't seen Arizona since that night, but the woman had plagued her every thought.

Please let there be an empty on-call room.

Callie made her way to the closest on-call room she could find. Finding one that was unlocked, she breathed a sigh of relief.

She stepped inside the dark room, shut the door behind her and locked it. Her eyes closed as she rested against the door, only to snap back open when she heard a shuffling noise in front of her.

The bottom bunk was occupied.

Callie watched as the shadowed figure rolled over to face her.

"Callie, Hi." Arizona said, using a hand to sweep tussled strands of hair away from her face.

"Shit, sorry. The door was unlocked. I didn't think anyone would be in here. I'll go." Callie apologised, reaching to unlock the door.

"Are you okay?" She heard her ask, making her pause her movement on the handle and turn back to face the blonde.

Callie noticed the prosthetic leg placed against the bedframe. Her scrubs were neatly folded on a chair in the corner, leaving Arizona dressed only in a tight-fitting black vest and shorts. She was curled on her side, laid on top of the sheet with an elbow bent to prop herself up.

God, she looks good.

"...Callie?"

In the time spent observing her ex-wife, she had forgotten to respond.

I can't keep thinking about her like this. I'm in a relationship. We didn't work. We're divorced.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine Arizona." She shrugged, turning her gaze away from the woman.

"There's two beds, you know. Bunk beds are good like that." A subtle smile graced the blonde's lips.

Callie released a quiet laugh, "I gathered that, honey."

The term of endearment rolled of her tongue; it was second nature. At least it was when they were together. Callie bit her lip in an effort to withdraw what she'd said. If Arizona had noticed her slip up, she didn't make it obvious.

"I'm saying that you can sleep here, too, if you want. The other on-call rooms are likely occupied by some horny interns doing it. This was the only free one I could find on this floor." Arizona casually stated, as if there was nothing unusual about her suggestion.

As if they hadn't shared many on-call rooms when they we together, often for more than just sleeping.

"You're not getting this bed though; you can't make the amputee climb to the top bunk - that would just be rude." Arizona joked, gesturing towards her residual limb.

Her eyes widened at Arizona's proposal.

Is she being serious right now?

She actually thinks it would be okay to do that?

Despite the awkward circumstance, this was the first, friendly interaction they'd had since before the divorce. Other than their 'argument' on Cristina's birthday, every time they'd spoken it had either involved strained small talk or making arrangements for Sofia.

Now, it felt different. It felt almost... comfortable, being in the same room as Arizona. Familiar.

Callie knew she needed to address the other night. She had practically forced herself on Arizona. It was... wrong of her to do that. She was drunk, not thinking clearly. Her emotions had gotten the better of her.

I'm not ready to talk about that yet. I don't even understand why I did it.

Arizona was acting like everything was normal. Like Callie hadn't pinned her against a wall, gripped onto her hips, felt the heat as she slipped a thigh between her legs. Maybe she was didn't even remember.

"It's okay, I'm not really tired anyway."

Everything felt different between them, but nothing had changed. They were still divorced, Callie was still with Penny, they weren't friends.

Arizona was just being nice. Oddly nice.

"Are you sure?" The blonde questioned, moving herself to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, I'll-"

Callie was interrupted by the loud beeping of a pager. She looked down to check, only to find it blank.

"Shoot, it's me. 911. Looks like you've got the room to yourself." Arizona reached for her prosthetic and positioned it on, strapping it in place. The taller woman couldn't help but stare as her ex-wife stood and began redressing, bending over to put her scrub bottoms on. Arizona was already moving towards the door as she pulled the navy top over her head.

"See you later?" Arizona asked, placing her hand on Callie's hip to gently move her out of the way.

"Yeah, see you later." She responded, watching as the blonde rushed out the door.

Callie found herself disappointed that she was now alone in the room. She walked over to the recently vacated bed and laid down. The brunette was immediately surrounded by the scent of Arizona as she buried her face in the pillow. It smelled like home.

Arizona knew that what she was doing was wrong.

However, Callie had given her hope, and she was going to see this through. Having dealt with the emergency, she now had some time to think. The blonde took the opportunity to head down to the coffee cart and grab two drinks.

Callie had instigated what happened that night, and despite their mutual alcohol intake, Arizona was a firm believer in the saying that 'drunk actions are sober thoughts'. If her ex-wife didn't have any feelings for her, she wouldn't have done that. Callie must have felt it too, the connection, the spark when they touched.

You can't say things like that, do things like that, without feeling something.

Yes, Callie left her – divorced her, but if there was even the slightest chance that the woman might still want her, she had to try.

Arizona had no intention of pushing her ex-wife to do anything she didn't want to do. She was just going to gently coax her into the right direction. From that, Callie would either realise she still had feelings for Arizona, or it would solidify that romantically, they were truly done. In Arizona's thinking, worst case scenario, they developed a friendship that would provide closure and definitely benefit their daughter.

Callie wanted her freedom, so now, she could freely choose what she wanted. If 'perfect Penny was her choice', so be it.

But as the woman Callie apparently still considered to be the love of her life, Arizona liked her odds.

With that in mind, she texted her ex-wife.

Me: Coffee? I've got your favourite :)

She knew that by already having brought it, Callie wouldn't be able to refuse. Well, she could ignore the text, but Callie wasn't the sort to turn down coffee. It was very much out of the norm, acting as an olive branch and likely sending her ex-wife into a spiral.

Arizona was heading to the elevator when she received a surprisingly quick reply.

Calliope: Yeah, sure. I'm in the attendings lounge.

Me: On my way :)

When she entered the lounge, Callie was pacing in front of the couch.

"Hey!" She held the coffee cup towards Callie.

The brunette paused, taking the drink from Arizona, "Hi, thank you."

"I thought you might be tired, have you eaten?" It was already past 2pm and knowing that between surgery and a nap – it was unlikely Callie had gotten the chance to grab lunch.

Callie shook her head as she drank the coffee, somehow not managing to spill it.

"Luckily for you, Dr Torres, I brought poundcake." Arizona lifted the wrapped item out of her lab coat, dangling it within Callie's reach.

"Do you always have some sort of sweet treat on you? Nothing changes." She grabbed the packet, tearing it open.

"I also have lollypops and a pack of gummy bears, but I usually save those for the kids."

Callie plopped herself onto the couch, still chewing as she responded, "Liar, I know you keep them for yourself."

Arizona took a sip of her, naturally overly sweetened toffee latte, and decided that it was time.

"Are we going to talk about the other night at some point, Calliope?" She asked, holding back a laugh as she watched her ex-wife almost choke on the cake.