He'd had a restless night, waking himself every couple hours to see if Lisa was awake. He'd not caught her awake again overnight, and it wasn't as if he'd tried to constantly wake up, but apparently his body could tell he was anxious to see her and be there for her.
Lisa had been wheeled out very early this morning, around 5:30 for more scans and tests. He knew that was a quiet time of the day to get all of that done. Jack used that time to shower and freshen up again, deciding to "clean up his scruff" once again, probably shaving more this week than he had in months. She deserved that. Even with his personal appearance and her preference to not have him look so scruffy, Jack had not put her as a priority and would. If she preferred less scruff, he'd happily shave more.
Jack had found some breakfast in the break room, grateful that most mornings some sort of muffins or croissants had been brought in for the taking. This morning, he had a couple of muffins on a plate along with a bunch of grapes and a cup of coffee. As he walked toward Lisa's room, he saw some of the medical staff lingering there by her door, all talking. He picked up his pace, wondering if Lisa was back, but as he reached her room, he could see that she was not. He gave a nod to the team and greeted them.
"Bonjour," he told them, slowing as he arrived at the door.
"She having tests," said one of the team members who spoke a little English, maybe a PA or something. Jack wasn't sure, but he nodded.
"Yes, she is." He turned when he heard the door down the hall, hoping to see his favorite person returning, and even though it wasn't Lisa, it was Helene coming up to help with translations.
"Good morning," she told Jack with a soft smile. "My shift starts soon, but the team sent me a text that they were ready to discuss her care."
"Okay," Jack told her. "Thank you again for your help. Lisa is out for tests."
"Yes, scans and x-rays checking that arm again. Let me see what the plan is for today."
Jack stood there in the hallway waiting for the translation to come through again. He watched as they talked, gestured to their paperwork, and then, finally, Helene nodded and turned to him again.
"The goal today or I should say the next goal, over the next couple of days is to get that feeding tube out. They don't want to just take it out and leave her without nutrition. They aren't sure how well she will tolerate starting to eat so it's a balance of reducing her caloric intake from that tube while letting her start to have some fluids and eventually then to soft foods and regular foods. Her body has been through quite an ordeal, and they don't want to just straight to some basic bland foods."
"Okay," Jack nodded. "Makes sense. So, in a way, they try to make her hungry so she will want to start eating something," he gestured, "these bland broths or whatever?"
She translated and then nodded, answering, "Yes, that is the plan. They wanted you to understand that each day there will be a goal or milestone to work her towards being able to go home. Right now, the next goal for her is this feeding tube, and then, it will be trying to get her up and out of bed. They said that will be very painful but necessary."
Jack nodded as she explained, "No, I understand. She will not want to be on any sort of addictive pain meds. Please convey that. I can promise you that. I know she is feeling more pain now that she is waking up, and they will confirm with her, but that I know." He watched as Helene translate that, the team nodding, and she turned back to him again.
"Yes, they can give her other things and will make sure she understands the medication if she wants something stronger."
"Fine," he said with a firm nod. They all turned their heads as the doors opened, and Jack smiled softly at the sight of Lisa being wheeled back to her room. He let out a long breath he didn't realize he was holding at just the sight of her. Everyone back home was so relieved to hear that she was awake or waking up. He had spoken to both Beth and Ben and had done a video chat with Amy, Ty, Lou, and Tim at home. It had been so good to see all of them, and as much as he expected to feel homesick, he didn't. Sure, it was great to see all of them on the screen and to talk about ranch business, but it was a revealing moment for Jack, realizing that he wasn't homesick because he was here with Lisa, willing Lisa back to life.
As the gurney was wheeled closer, Jack noticed that Lisa was fluttering her eyes, and he hoped that meant that maybe she was awake. He could see her scrunching them with the bright hallway lights, so he stepped toward the bed as it came closer, walking alongside it back to the room.
"Morning, Lise," he said to her even with her eyes closed. He glanced at his watch, "It's just after 7:00 now. You've been out for tests. Your doctors are all here." He was happily greeted with Lisa opening her eyes as the gurney slowed to turn into her room. Jack smiled softly down at her and reached to put his hand on hers. She just looked up at him, Jack noting that anytime she had awakened, it definitely took her some time to grasp maybe what was going on, where she was, or even maybe what he was doing there. He stepped aside as they got her situated in her room again, and Jack was the first from the hallway into the room with the medical team following him. Jack glanced to one of the doctors who was talking to Helene. She stepped toward Lisa's bedside, opposite of Jack.
"Good morning, Lisa. Can you open your eyes?" Jack eyed Helene and then looked to Lisa. The medical team seemed to have given Helene some direction and things to ask her in English. Lisa opened her eyes and looked toward Helene.
"Ahh, there you are. It's good to see you awake, and you have beautiful eyes. My name is Helene. I'm a nurse here. The doctors want me to ask you some questions. If you can answer, that will help us. If you can't, you can blink okay?"
"Okay," Lisa uttered barely with her eyes closing again. Her voice was very raspy, and as she did that, one of the other nurses who had come into the room started to fill her water pitcher.
"Try to stay awake just for a few minutes. I know it's hard. Do you know at all where you are?"
"Hospital," Lisa whispered, again, barely audible, but giving the team what they need. Helene nodded.
"Very good, yes, you are, and I'm sorry about that. Do you know what country you are in?"
"France," she whispered again, and Helene nodded, giving a nod to the the medical staff.
"Maybe the room and the language give all of that away," she smiled down at Lisa who was trying to keep her eyes open. "Now," she pointed to Jack, "do you know who he is? He's been here for weeks now waiting for you to wake up. So, any idea who he is?"
"An idiot," Lisa stated, her voice more than a whisper now, but without looking at him, she stated that to Helene. Helene, with the surprise answer, looked to Jack with her eyes wide, and Jack pursed his lips and nodded, gesturing to Lisa.
"Well, she's not wrong. I get that, and I'll take that. That's a sign to me her cognitive memory is good."
Helene turned to the doctors and translated, Jack even hearing 'l'idiot' in translation-okay, so that didn't really need to be translated. The medical team chuckled at that, and Jack sighed, knowing he had so much more coming to him. Barely awake, but apparently alert enough to recognize him and remember their mess, Lisa was on him already, and yes, he totally deserved it. He looked back to Lisa who had her eyes closed, and he just squeezed her hand there with his on top of hers. That had her open her eyes again, and Helene nodded from the French spoken and turned back to Lisa.
"Okay, Lisa," she chuckled slightly. "Even he's not arguing with that name, but can you also tell me his name."
"Jack," she mumbled. "He's really here?" Lisa asked, and Helene eyed Jack, wondering what that meant.
"I'm here, Lise, shocking I know, but that's my fault." He gestured at Helene, "I kinda announced I'd never come to France again."
Helene looked back at Lisa, sensing the tension even now as Lisa was trying to wake up, and she put her hand on Lisa's hand, patting it, "Yes, Lisa. This is all real. No dream. Did you think you were dreaming?"
"So fuzzy, all of it. I wasn't sure-"
She nodded, "A lot will be cloudy in your mind over the next few days. Let me tell the medical staff you are doing well and did know who Jack was and what was going on with you." She turned back to the team, and Jack leaned down slowly while the rest of the room collaborated. He put his hand on her shoulder there and squeezed at it.
"Well, you're not wrong. I've been a huge idiot, but the one thing I know for certain is that I love you very much. I'm so glad you are waking up, and I'll say that each time you wake up. They are going to try and get you off this feeding tube so you can start eating again. I know you love your food, and I have to admit that these French croissants have been really good each morning. I've been here for over two weeks now. You've been here three weeks. Beth was here right way when they were trying to get ahold of me. Beth had to go back home, but I've been talking to her and to Ben each day. Amy, Lou, and even Tim send their love. Tim has been really worried about you, but he's always had a soft spot for you too. I'm so sorry I've ruined so much, Lise, and I know we have a lot to discuss, but there is no doubt I love you and want to be here."
She'd closed her eyes again, and Jack sighed, nodding to himself as he saw more tears falling. He reached over to wipe at them, and clasped her hand in his again. He was called by Helene and turned back to get more information.
She gestured to where one of the staff was working by her drips, "They are turning down her feeding tube now. Her scans should be up in another hour or so, but they are pleased with her progress. They will be around rounding this morning and will update you more with the scan results."
"Thank you," Jack said with a nod, and he made eye contact with each of them, "Merci."
As quickly as they had entered most of the staff left, leaving just the couple there to check her vitals and other things. Jack stepped back to allow them to work, his breakfast still there on the table. He'd eat later. All of this was so much more important.
Somehow the morning got away from him. It was a constant flurry of activity, which was much preferred to the solitude of the last two weeks, just waiting for anything to happen. Now that she was awake and improving by the minute, the room constantly had people in and out. He'd barely touched his muffins, only taking a bite before he'd been greeted by more staff. Thankfully, some of the staff who had been in and out did speak a bit of English, but he had not met anyone who came close to matching Helene. She'd been a true blessing. Now, mid-morning, with the floor relatively quiet for an ICU, the nurses had come in to change bedding and clean up Lisa, so Jack found himself walking down to grab some lunch. He ventured to the soup and sandwich stand usually once a day, sometimes, not even that often. He had gotten good at some sort of communication with the stand attendant, Jack pointing to most of the things he needed each day. The Euros had come in handy too with these small purchases, always preferring cash to a card. He had been just handing them a 20 or so of Euros and taking whatever change they gave him. It had been working.
Now, armed with French Onion soup, a hot ham and cheese sandwich, Jack took his packaged lunch back upstairs. He could eat in the break room if they were still tending to Lisa, but if they weren't, he was hopeful she might wake up more this afternoon. When he walked by the nurses' station, he noticed one of Lisa's normal nurses there tying notes into the computer, so he picked up the pace as he walked to Lisa's room. She was there, sleeping again, and he sighed but nodded at that scene. Jack set up his lunch and sat back down in his recliner chair to eat, moving the tray table toward him. The food tasted good; he was hungrier than he realized. He found himself devouring his lunch, and a quick calculation reminded him he'd not really eaten anything since lunch yesterday.
"What is that smell?" Jack heard a grumble and looked up, sandwich right by his mouth and with Lisa's head turned away, he stood to talk to her. He knew her voice, obviously, and there wasn't anyone else in the room. As he started to stand from his seat, Lisa turned her head toward him. It looked like it was taking a lot of effort to just do that.
"Hey," he said with a soft smile at her when their eyes met. "I'm sorry if my lunch is bothering you. I'm having soup and a sandwich. I wish I could share it with you. You'd like this, even if it's hospital food. Apparently, French hospital food is decent, as I've discovered."
She was quiet, but he didn't expect a big conversation right now. To be frank, he was nervous, nervous to talk to her about them. It needed to be done, and he wasn't shying away from it, but with Lisa in this state, it wasn't the time. She needed to be able to yell at him, tell him off, and she wasn't there yet. She was barely awake most of the time, but that almost made it awkward like an elephant in the room. He planned to let her recover more before having any sort of conversation like that.
"Water, please," she said quietly, turning her head back toward him. With her head heavy on the pillow, she was moving that around more, possibly taking in her surrounds. Jack sprang up and into action.
"Sorry, Lise, I should have asked you that already. Yes, water," he said, reaching for the pitcher of water and pouring some into the cup for her. He secured the straw and walked over to help her lift her head and sip at it. She tried gulping it again, and he just reminded her not to do that. "Easy, Lise. Small sips. I won't take it away." She seemed to slow down then, and finally, she shook her head, indicating she was done. Jack turned to put the water down on the tray table he was using.
"I don't want your charity," she said, possibly the clearest she'd said anything. It surprised Jack, just how clear she was, and as he turned around to look at her, she was now looking up at him. Jack pursed his lips before he frowned, nodding at her.
"Lise, look, I know we have a lot to talk about, and I know I hurt your dearly. I have been horrible, but I am not here for charity or because I feel sorry for you. I'm here because I love you more than anything, and I haven't done a good job telling you that. I've not communicated well with you about anything, specifically how much you mean to me and how much I do love you. A life without you is not one I have enjoyed. Let me just say that everything that happened after my heart attack was a mess and all my fault. I didn't send you away because I didn't love you. It was the opposite. I thought I was doing what was best for you, sparing you from a life of taking care of me, and that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to make that decision on my own, and it wasn't fair to not communicate with you. So, I'm here for the long haul because you are the most important person in my life, and it's high time I start acting like it." He reached for her hand and squeezed it.
Lisa had turned her head away, looking to the door of the room, and Jack stood there, now almost awkwardly, but he didn't want to let go of her hand. He wondered if she'd fallen back asleep, but finally, she turned her head back to him.
"I'm really hurt," she told him, and he frowned, but nodded.
"You are, but you are going to recover, going to get better. It will take time, and yes, it's going to hurt, but your arm and your pelvis will heal."
"No, not that hurt," she mumbled, and as she was trying to talk, she yawned. "I think you should go."
Jack pursed his lips again and nodded, "I'm sure you do. I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry, if that's the hurt you are talking. I'm not going to leave. The pain and hurt you are feeling that I caused-I really am sorry and won't forgive myself for hurting you. I love you more than anything, Lise. I really do. I'm not just saying that, and I'm certainly not going to leave. You need me, and I need you. You also need to know that I was really glad you came home after my heart attack even if I didn't say it and was a disaster. So, coming from experience, I think you will be glad I'm here too, eventually."
"You're an idiot," she mumbled again, and as she said that, Jack could Lisa closing her eyes. He knew she had a lot more to say; he had more to beg and plead, but as he heard her soft snores, he knew right now she just needed rest.
Jack stood there, watching over her as she drifted off to sleep. Even with all of this, her face a bruised mess, and as horrible as he knew she had to feel, she was still so beautiful. She was waking up more, and they hoped to have her eat some broth for dinner. They'd talk more soon. She could call him an idiot all the time, and he was fine with it. He squeezed her shoulder before stepping back toward his chair.
"Sleep my love, your idiot will be here when you wake."