"You're not coming. For Christmas?" Amy asked her brother and his girlfriend. "I'm coming Amy. I'll be at Addison's parents Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. But I'll come over for lunch. Addie is staying with her parents for 2 weeks. I'll stay for a week then I'm coming back. I'm sorry though, you'll have to move back in with Lizzie for a week."

"I don't mind if you're here" Amy smiled. "Do I have to move all my stuff or do you not iI mind?

"Don't worry about your stuff it's your room now. I'm a guest."

Unlike most kids Amy didn't really like the holidays. Firstly it was cold, she hated the cold. Now Maria and Rose had left, and Sarah had gone to stay with her Grandparents in Maine, she had no one to hang out with. Made worse by the fact Derek was at Addison's parent's place. Also, in her family the holidays tended to lead to arguments. She had gone shopping and bought each of her family members a cheap pair of slipper socks. Besides Lizzie, who she got a JoAnns gift card and Derek who she got a CD of a band he liked. She knew Nancy and Katie would complain about whatever she decided to get so the slippers worked fine. The hardest person was Addison. What do you get I someone who has a trust fund so can buy whatever they want, whenever they want.

"Hey Amy. What are you doing?" Lizzie asked her sister how was sat in the kitchen looking frustrated. "Trying to figure out what to get Addison for Christmas."

"I've knitted her a hat."

"I'm not you Lizzie. I can't make stuff."

"Sure you can. I can show you. You know that throw on my bed?"

"The polka dot one, sure."

"I can show you how to make one of those for Addison."

"I don't know how to sew Liz, I don't have a sewing machine."

"Good thing you don't need to then! Can you use scissors?" Lizzie asked sarcastically

"Yeah." Amy answered

"Can you tie a knot?"

"Yeah" Amy looked at her sister confused.

"Then you can make one. Don't look so skeptical Ames. I promise, it's easy and I'll help."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I do like you Amy, you know that right? You're my favourite sister. I'm just not really a people person. But spending a Saturday crafting with my sister sounds fun. First we have to go to the craft shop. Do you have about 20, we need a couple yards of fleece. Moms left her car here so I can drive us."

"Is mom working?"

"I have Literally no idea where she is but the cars here so we may as well use it."

Amelia was stood in the fleece section of the fabric store. There were lots of bright, colourful fabrics that would look fine in Amy's bedroom but would look gaudy in Addisons elegant penthouse. "What do you think Ames?" Lizzie asked. "I don't know none of them look very 'Addison'"

"Amy, Addison loves you. She'll just love that you made her something. I don't think she'll care that it doesn't look 'Addison-y'" Amy decided on a fun monochrome design and some plain black fleece. When they got back home, Lizzie showed Amelia how to cut strips in the side of the fabric and tie it together to make a cozy blanket. "Thanks Liz, I think Addie will love it, and thanks for like... spending time with me"

"You're my favourite sister." Lizzie replied simply.

Amy was cold. Really cold. And uncomfortable, she hated the dress her mom and forced her to wear, because apparently trousers weren't 'appropriate for mass' so she was in a stupid, itchy green dress that she was pretty sure she remembered all her sisters wearing at some point. The fabric was scratchy and it had elbow length sleeves, she was wearing a cardigan but it was a thin one. It was Christmas Eve and all the Shepherd girls were sat in the pew alongside their mother. None of them actually wanted to be there but it was a rule of their mother's that on Christmas Eve they went to mass. Amy was very jealous of Derek at Addison's parents and getting to miss it. "Sing Amelia" her mother hissed. So she joined in with the carol. "Joyful all ye nations rise, join the triumph of the sky, with angelic host proclaim, Christ is born in Bethlehem. Hark the Herald angels sing, Glory to the new born king."

Amy woke the next morning and she was a little excited, not that she'd admit it to anyone, but it was Christmas after all. She was excited for her stocking, Santa- or her mom, always filled each stocking with fun little gifts. Chocolate, keychains, maybe some hair accessories or a bottle of nail Polish. Stuff like that. But when she went downstairs, she noticed none of the stockings were filled. "Merry Christmas Lizzie, Katie." Amy greeted her sisters. "Merry Christmas Ames. Moms in the kitchen making coffee, Nancy's still in bed." Lizzie explained. "I'll go wake her up if she's not down here once the coffee is done." Katie explained. "No need. I'm here. Merry Christmas." Nancy said flopping on the empty couch space by Katie. Mom came in and passed a coffee to everyone but Amy, because according to mom 12 was too young for coffee. "Can I go first?" Lizze asked. She loved giving gifts. Some people would say homemade gifts were a sweet gesture even if they weren't as good as store bought stuff. But that wasn't the case for Lizzie's gifts. They were as good as anything you could buy in a store. She passed out her gifts. Amy opened hers to find a pair of mittens and a scarf. As well as a unicorn on a keychain Lizzie had knitted, or maybe crocheted, Amy wasn't sure. "The winter set is to match the hat I made for your birthday."

"Thanks Lizzie."

Lizzie had made a full winter set for her mother. Hat, scarf and gloves in red then hats for Katie and Nancy too. Amelia gave out her gifts next. Lizzie's face lit up with the gift card, her other sisters were less impressed with the slippers. "I already have slippers but thanks Amy."

From her mom Amelia got some cute earrings and a CD, Katie got her some socks and Nancy got her a stuffed cat. Amelia was a little sad her mom decided not to do the stockings, even though they were hung up.

Mom and Nancy started on dinner while Amelia, Lizzie and Kathleen watched some TV.

Not long afterwards Derek arrived. "Merry Christmas." He smiled "and Addie says Merry Christmas to you all too. I have gifts shall I do them now, or after dinner?"

"Hi Derek." Carolyn said "now would be nice, we've put the Turkey in the oven so there's not much left to do now everything is peeled." She smiled so Derek handed out his gifts. Amy was pleased to get some more CDs. He also gave Amy a card from Addie. She opened it:

Dear Amy

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

My gift to you is that I want to take you shopping for some clothes. Let me know when is good,

Lots of love

Addison

Amy smiled a shopping day with Addison sounded like fun. And as the 4th girl in the family, getting to choose some of her own clothes rather than constant sister hand me downs would be nice. Derek sat with Amy and told her all about Addison's, 'interesting' as he put it, family. "So she doesn't even call them mom and dad?" Amy asked. "No she calls them captain and Bizzy."

"That's so weird!"

"It is a bit. What did you get Amy?"

"Scarf and gloves from Lizzie, a toy cat from Nancy, socks from Kathleen and earrings and a CDfrom mom. I'm kinda sad that I didn't get a stocking this year."

"Yeah I'm sorry about that." Derek sighed

"What's it got to do with you?"

"Amy? You didn't actually think it was Santa Claus right?" Derek asked. Worried he'd ruined the magic for his sister.

"Derek, I'm 12! I know Santa Claus doesn't exist! It's mom right?"

"I wish it was Ames but moms not sentimental like that. You know that. I've been doing them since dad died."

"You? I always thought it was mom..."

"You were only 6 the first Christmas after dad died. You believed in Santa and elves and Rudolph. So I decided to keep the magic for you. And then I guess I just kept doing it."

"Thank you. And don't worry I got some stocking like trinkets from a couple school secret Santa's- like chocolate and stuff."

The rest of Christmas continued in true, Shepherd fashion. sisters trying not to bicker. Mom banishing all the kids from the kitchen (other than Nancy) and making a delicious roast, and then complaining that no one helped her, even though she'd sent them out. Katie and Derek discussing what was on TV. Derek had won out and the basketball was playing. Lizze curled up on the armchair, yarn and a crochet hook, in her hands. Amy semi watching the basketball but getting caught up in her thoughts and imagination too.

Before her father had died Christmas was a huge celebration. They would go to their maternal grandparents place upstate. Amelia's father's mother was French Canadian and his father of English decent but their mothers family was all Irish. There were always plenty of cousins there too and dad would always set up games and treasure hunts, a bigger cousin or her bother helping little Amy when it was her turn. Not that she remembered much, she'd just seen photos and been told stories. They'd gone to Grandma and Grandpa's the year after Christopher had died, but it wasn't the same. There was no one to set up the games, and everyone had just given them pitying looks. Grandpa had passed since. And Grandma was old and frail in a nursing home. Mom would try and visit her once a month but she had 6 other kids and countless grandchildren who lived closer and visited often. Amy was a little jealous sometimes, although she felt guilty for that feeling. Her siblings were able to remember the busy, loud, fun Christmases, but at only 5 when her father had died Amy had little to no recollection. She still enjoyed Christmas of course. The delicious food and extra chocolate. The decorations, even the cheesy music and usually some nice gifts. And it was usually peaceful, a peaceful as it could get with 4 siblings. They would all try their best not to fight. It wasn't extravagant or filled with cousins and games, but it was nice. Always nice.