Chapter 17

"Your Grace," Helena's maids greeted Jon with a curtsy as he entered the Queen's quarters.

"Is the Queen here?" he asked.

"She is taking a bath, Your Grace," Helena's handmaiden replied.

Jon nodded, his gaze flicking to the door leading to the bathing chamber.

"Please, leave us," he instructed, waiting until the maids had bowed and exited the room before approaching the door and knocking gently.

"Yes?" came Helena's voice from inside.

Jon opened the door to find her reclining in the tub, her eyes closed, her head resting on a cushion. She looked serene, the steam curling softly in the warm light. For a moment, he simply watched her, a sense of tenderness swelling in his chest, until her eyes fluttered open.

"Jon," she gasped, startled but smiling faintly.

"Forgive me," he said softly, a smile tugging at his lips. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No, no, it's alright. I just wasn't expecting you," she replied, her expression relaxing into warmth. "I thought you had a council meeting today."

"I didn't go," he murmured, stepping closer.

"Oh?" Helena asked, tilting her head slightly. "Is everything alright?"

"That's what I want to know," Jon said, his tone turning serious.

Her smile faltered, her eyes widening slightly. "What… what do you mean?"

"I heard you weren't feeling well in the garden today," Jon said, his eyes locking on hers. "The guards had to assist you back to your quarters. Is that true?"

Helena averted her gaze, blinking rapidly before answering. "I… Yes, that's true, but…"

"Why didn't you send for me?" Jon interrupted, his voice firm with concern.

Helena hesitated, the water rippling slightly as she shifted uncomfortably. "I knew how busy you were today, and I didn't want to…"

"No," Jon said firmly, stepping closer to the tub. His tone softened, though his worry remained clear. "I'm never too busy to know if something is wrong with you." He crouched slightly to meet her eye level. "Were you examined by a Maester?"

Helena nodded quickly. "I was."

"And?"

"Everything is fine," she assured him, though her smile wavered, revealing the faintest hint of unease.

Jon studied her closely, his frown deepening. He could sense there was more to her words than she was letting on.

Jon's gaze lingered on her, searching for the truth in her words. He reached out, his fingers brushing against her damp hand as it rested on the edge of the tub.

"Helena, I know when you're holding something back."

Her shoulders tensed, and she looked away, her voice soft. "I didn't want to worry you."

"You think keeping things from me eases my mind?" he countered, his voice gentle but firm. "If something's wrong, I want to know. I need to know."

Helena's breath caught for a moment, and she finally met his eyes, her vulnerability shining through. "I… I am with child," she said so quietly that he could barely hear her. "But… The Maester warned me about the risk of… a miscarriage. I… I wasn't sure how to tell you. I didn't want to disappoint you."

Jon froze, the weight of her words settling over him like a thunderclap. For a moment, he could only stare at her, his expression a mixture of shock, concern, and something softer, something brighter.

"With child?" he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. He reached for her hand again, holding it as though it were something fragile and precious. "Helena, why would you think you could ever disappoint me?"

Tears welled in her eyes as she looked down at their joined hands. "Because I know how much this would mean to you. And if something… if something goes wrong, I don't want to see that look in your eyes, the one that tells me I failed."

Jon shook his head fiercely, his grip on her hand tightening slightly. "You haven't failed me. You could never fail me." He knelt by the tub, his gaze level with hers now, his voice steady but thick with emotion. "This isn't about what I want or expect, Helena. It's about you. Your health. Your happiness."

"I didn't want to tell you until I was certain," she murmured. "But when I felt faint earlier… I thought you might suspect something anyway."

Jon's jaw clenched briefly, not out of anger but at the thought of her keeping this to herself, carrying such a burden alone. He exhaled slowly, willing his voice to remain calm. "From now on, you don't go through this alone. No more hiding things from me, no matter how scared you are."

Helena nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Jon."

He reached up, brushing the tear away with his thumb. "No apologies. You're my wife, Helena, and now…" He paused, the corners of his mouth twitching upward in a faint, disbelieving smile. "Now you're the mother of my child. We'll face whatever comes together."

Her lip trembled as she returned his smile, a glimmer of hope and relief in her eyes. "I've never felt so afraid," she admitted. "But… I hope that maybe everything will be alright."

Jon leaned forward, pressing his forehead gently to hers.

For a moment, they stayed there in silence, their breaths mingling, their hands intertwined. Jon finally pulled back, his gaze soft but determined. "I'll speak with the Maester myself. We'll make sure you have everything you need; rest, care, whatever it takes."

Helena smiled through her tears, her heart swelling with gratitude. "Thank you, Jon."

"No," he said, his voice firm. "Thank you. For giving me this gift, for trusting me enough to tell me."

She leaned forward, brushing a kiss against his lips, and he kissed her back with all the tenderness he could muster.

"May I wash you?" he asked gently, his voice warm and tender.

"Oh… I'm sure you have more important things to do…" she began, hesitating.

"I don't," he interrupted softly, his gaze steady. "There's nothing more important than taking care of my wife."

A faint flush crept across Helena's cheeks, spreading down her neck. "If you're sure…"

"I am," he replied with quiet certainty.

Jon smiled warmly, his hands moving to gently roll up his sleeves as he knelt by the edge of the tub. Helena watched him, her blush deepening, but there was a softness in her eyes, a mix of trust and affection.

He reached for a sponge resting on a nearby tray, dipping it into the warm, scented water. His movements were deliberate and careful as he brought it to her shoulder, his touch reverent. "Tell me if it's too cold," he murmured, his voice low and soothing.

Helena shook her head, her lips curving into a faint smile. "It's perfect."

Jon's focus was entirely on her as he worked, the gentle strokes of the sponge across her skin both calming and intimate. He moved with a quiet attentiveness, his expression one of serene concentration.

As he worked, Helena found herself relaxing more than she had all day. The tension in her shoulders eased under his gentle ministrations, and the warmth of the water, combined with the tenderness of his care, made her feel cherished in a way she hadn't thought possible.

After a while, Jon set the sponge aside and brushed a damp strand of her hair away from her face, his thumb lingering against her cheek. "You're beautiful, you know," he said quietly, his tone filled with a raw honesty that sent a shiver down her spine.

Her blush deepened, and she looked down shyly. "Thank you."

Jon placed his hand gently on her stomach, his fingers brushing over the faint, tiny bump. How had he not noticed it before?

"How far along are you?" he asked softly.

Helena hesitated for a brief moment before replying. "The Maester wasn't completely certain, but he suspects the child might have been conceived on our wedding night. According to the old beliefs, that should bring extra blessings from the gods."

Jon froze, shame creeping into his chest as memories of their wedding night resurfaced.

"You… You haven't bled since the wedding?" he murmured, his voice tinged with concern.

Helena shook her head, her expression apologetic. "No. I… I should have noticed sooner, but… being locked away for so many years, I never really learned to pay attention to those things."

Jon took a moment to steady himself as a new fear surfaced. "Have I been hurting you or the child when we've been together?" he managed to ask, his voice strained with worry.

"No, no," Helena assured him quickly, her tone earnest. "The Maester said the risk of miscarriage is because… because I'm so thin. My nourishment was poor for so many years." She paused, her shoulders slumping as she lowered her gaze. "It's not your fault, it's mine."

Jon's heart clenched at Helena's words. He reached out, cupping her face with both hands, gently lifting her gaze to meet his. "Don't ever say that," he said firmly, his voice carrying a depth of emotion that made her eyes glisten. "This is not your fault. None of it."

Helena blinked, her lips parting as if to protest, but he shook his head, stopping her. "You've been through so much, more than anyone should ever endure. The fact that you're here, carrying our child, is nothing short of a miracle. And I will not let you blame yourself for things you had no control over."

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she didn't look away from him. "But the risks…if something happens…"

"We'll face it together," Jon interrupted, his voice unwavering. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure you and our child are safe. But blaming yourself doesn't help. You've done nothing wrong, Helena. Nothing."

A tear slid down her cheek, and Jon brushed it away with his thumb, his touch tender. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. "You are stronger than you think. And so is our child. Don't lose faith in that."

She closed her eyes, drawing strength from his presence. For a moment, the fear that had gripped her heart loosened its hold. His words, his unwavering support, were a balm to her frayed nerves.

Jon pulled back slightly, his hands still cradling her face. "From now on, you'll focus on resting and getting stronger. You're not alone in this, Helena. I'll be by your side every step of the way."

Helena nodded, her voice a whisper. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask," Jon murmured, his lips brushing against her forehead in a gentle kiss. His hand moved to her stomach again, resting over the small bump. "We'll protect this child together. No matter what it takes."

Eventually, Jon helped her rise from the tub, wrapping her in a soft towel with the same care he'd shown throughout.

"You need to rest now," he said as he guided her toward the bed. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

Helena gave him a grateful smile. "You're very persistent, you know."

Jon smirked, his expression lightening with affection. "You'll find I can be when it comes to you."

Helena chuckled softly, her smile lingering as she allowed Jon to help her into the bed. The plush covers felt warm and inviting as she sank into them, and she watched as Jon tucked the blanket around her with a meticulous tenderness that made her heart swell.

"You're fussing over me more than the Maester did," she teased, though her voice held only affection.

Jon shrugged, settling himself in the chair beside her bed. "The Maester doesn't have the same vested interest I do."

Helena raised an eyebrow, the corners of her lips curving upward. "Vested interest?"

"You," Jon replied simply, leaning back in the chair. His gaze softened as he looked at her, his usual guarded demeanor melting away. "You're my wife, Helena. My queen. The mother of my child. There's no one in this world I care about more."

Her breath caught, the sincerity in his words washing over her like a warm tide. She reached out, her fingers brushing his hand where it rested on the arm of the chair. "I don't deserve you," she murmured.

Jon leaned forward, his expression turning serious. "You deserve far better than what the world's given you. But I'll do everything in my power to make sure you get what you're owed. You and our child."

Helena's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she squeezed his hand. "You're a good man, Jon. And I know you will be a good father."

A father… He was going to be a father. Jon still hadn't fully comprehended the thought.

"Could you…lay by me for a moment?" Helena asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes, of course."

Jon rose from the chair without hesitation, the weight of his thoughts momentarily easing at Helena's request. Gently, he slipped off his boots and set them aside before moving to the bed. He settled beside her, careful not to jostle her as he leaned back against the pillows.

Helena shifted closer, her head resting against his shoulder as his arm instinctively wrapped around her. "Thank you," she murmured softly, her voice already carrying a hint of drowsiness.

Jon pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his fingers brushing through her still-damp hair. "You don't need to thank me," he replied, his voice low and soothing. "I'll always be here for you."

For a while, they lay in comfortable silence, the world outside the room fading away. Jon felt the steady rhythm of Helena's breathing as she began to relax in his arms. The thought of becoming a father still felt surreal, but holding her like this made the weight of the responsibility seem bearable, almost welcome.

"Do you think Ghost will be jealous?" Helena asked softly, breaking the quiet.

Jon chuckled, the sound rumbling softly in his chest. "Jealous? Ghost?" He tilted his head, pretending to consider it. "I don't know. He's already spoiled enough with all the attention you give him. Adding a babe to the mix might be a hard adjustment."

Helena laughed lightly, her fingers toying with the edge of his tunic. "He might feel left out if he's no longer the center of attention. The children at the orphanage already spoil him with treats every time he visits."

Jon smirked. "Maybe he'll surprise us and turn into a protective older brother. I can see him standing guard over the cradle, scaring off anyone who dares get too close."

Helena looked up at him, her smile softening. "That sounds like him. Loyal to a fault, just like his master."

Jon shook his head slightly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "He's smarter than I am."

Helena's smile turned wistful as she rested her head back against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head again, letting the comfortable silence stretch between them. After a moment, he added, "You know, Ghost will probably take to the babe faster than I will. He's always been good at sensing what's important."

"You'll do just fine," Helena reassured him. "And if Ghost does get jealous, I'll remind him he's still my favorite direwolf."

Jon laughed, the sound easing the lingering tension in his chest. "Let's hope the babe doesn't mind sharing their mother's affection."

"They'll understand," she murmured, her voice already softening with sleep. "After all, everyone loves Ghost."

Jon held her closer, a faint smile on his lips as he watched her drift off. He tightened his hold on her, a silent promise that he would do everything in his power to be the man she and their child deserved.