um...just to be on the safe side, TW for torture and death.

"One orange beast." Severus spat dropping Crookshanks into Sirius' waiting arms with a look of extreme distaste.

"Hello Crooks," Sirius cooed, scratching under his chin, "Want a tasty snack?"

Crooks mrowled at him "Good boy, lets go and do that shall we." Sirius' eyes met Remus. His answering smile was all teeth as they practically ran for the floo.

"That'll be them occupied for the next half hour at least," Narcissa mused, "They'll let the cat play with his food first no doubt."

"With no limbs?" Severus frowned.

"I'd forgotten that. Fifteen then. Now, shall we go and see how my sister is getting on with those portkeys?"

"Yes, Commander," he replied sardonically.

"Careful Severus," she warned, "I might get used to that title and begin demanding it all the time."

He snorted in response but didn't dare push his luck further as he followed her further into the house.

They stopped in the doorway of one of the Malfoy's many sitting rooms to find Bella and Rodolphus sitting in front of a pile of useless objects.

"Porkeys done then?"

"Yes." Rodolphus agreed, "Is Corban back yet?"

"Yes!" a voice called as Corban appeared holding the hand of Nyx. "Kingsley needs to know where we're sending them to."

"Atrium," Bella muttered, jabbing her wand at a cardboard box before sitting back with a smug smile.

Corban nodded, looking at Nyx, "You know what Kingsley Shacklebolt looks like dont you?"

"Yes Master Corban."

"If you could tell him then please."

"Shall we acquire everyone then?" Bella grinned menacingly as Nyx disappeared.

"We shall." Narcissa agreed.

"And then the pink toad." Rodolphus growled.

"And then the pink toad," Bella agreed.

The gaggle of Death Eaters milled around the Malfoy's dining room looking confused. "Is there a reason for this meeting?" Thoros Nott eyed them suspiciously.

"We just thought a gathering before the rush of Christmas would be nice," Lucius soothed. "Narcissa's idea, all very last minute you understand."

"I must admit you're looking better than I last saw you," the man sniffed in response, seemingly mollified by that explanation; it wouldn't be the first time a gathering had been called late at night after all.

"I have…recently begun to reconnect properly with my sister-in-law," he gave a bland smile.

"Bellatrix?" Thoros looked stunned.

"Quite. I find we are both better for it."

"Good gods, man. It appears there is hope for you after all. How goes young Draco's mission?"

"He is exactly where he should be with it," Lucius smiled.

"Greybacks here," Narcissa murmured into his ear as she slid an arm around his waist.

"Last one?"

She nodded silently, smiling at Thoros. "I'm so pleased you could join us, let me just go and get Bella and Dolph. Luc, do go fetch Bast. I don't trust Dixie to not give in to his whims, he always was her favourite."

Lucius rolled his eyes for show, making Thoros smirk. "Of course, dearest."

They shut the doors behind them quickly. "They're all there."

Severus hummed, handing a vial to a waiting elf. Coley smiled viciously disappearing with a crack only to return with a manic laugh minutes later. "Coley watched them drop like flies, yes he did."

"They're all down?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Remus, be a dear and behead a werewolf for us."

"Yes, Commander" he muttered with a sarcastic salute, casting a bubble-head charm, taking the proffered dagger and slinking into the room.

"Bella, the portkeys."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Aye Aye, Commander."

Narcissa sniffed, "I told you, this would never have occurred if I had been in charge."

"Mother for Minister then," Draco muttered, shuddering slightly at Narcissa's predatory grin.

"Minister Malfoy does have a rather nice ring to it. Unfortunately darling, I would never be so uncouth as to work, especially not as a glorified civil servant. I would never live it down."

"Of course not, Mother," he replied quickly, watching as his aunt and uncle slunk back out of the room.

"Everything went as it should?" Narcissa checked.

"Of course it did," Bella scoffed, "we are not amateurs!"

Remus appeared moments later, scourgifying himself and holding two grey buttons. Draco's eyebrows lifted.

"More portable this way," Remus grinned.

Nodding slowly Draco took an unconscious step back when the implications of that hit him; it only made Remus grin wider. "I think I'll wear them on my robes," he mused, "That way if anyone challenges my authority, I can simply…finite them."

Bella eyed him thoughtfully, "I might like you after all." she mused.

Sirius gave a bark of laughter, "For that Cousin I might consent to sharing the pink toad."

"I had better be included in that, Pads," Remus growled, "That bitch made the werewolf laws."

"All of us?" Rodolphus suggested.

A slow predatory grin was mirrored around the group, "All of us," Rabastan agreed.

"Well then," Bella clapped her hands, "let's get her here."

Dolores Umbridge walked down the silent halls of Malfoy Manor trying not to look as smug as she felt. Narcissa had finally recognised her for what she was and now she was here, invited to tea with the Malfoy matriarch herself. She felt almost giddy.

"Dolores!" Narcissa purred, "How good of you to join us."

"Madam Malfoy, I am so pleased to be here."

"Oh and we are so pleased you are, Dolores," Narcissa cooed, "So pleased. This way, dear."

Dolores followed her into one of the Malfoy's ornate sitting rooms, almost ready to combust with excitement. "You have a lovely home, Madam." she simpered.

"Thank you dear, now, tea?"

Her mind felt groggy as she woke, seeing nothing but darkness. Until someone murmured a soft Lumos. A shark-like grin that was all teeth appeared in front of her.

"Hello Dolores, I have been desperate to meet you."

Her eyes blew wide, "Filthy half-breed!" she howled, only making Remus' grin turn more feral, "I am the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic! I will have you Kissed for this!"

A loud snort sounded from the corner of the room as Sirius sauntered forward. "Tied up, wandless and with no clue where she is. That's some arrogance right there eh Moons?"

"Arrogant and a liar." Remus nodded sagely, "she's not Scrimgeors Senior Undersecretary. In fact I'm not sure she's currently employed at all, is she?"

"Indeed she is not" Lucius agreed, smirking at the look of horror on Dolores' face at the sight of him, "Hello Dolores. How kind of you to join the party."

"What is the meaning of this!" she blustered, her eyes darting like a frightened rabbit.

"Well dear. It's really quite simple," Narcissa smiled her bland society smile, "You tortured children. You harmed my beloved cousin's godson and threatened to crucio him. You waged war on my niece."

"Your…your niece! You don't have a niece." Dolores spluttered wildly

Bella stepped into the light, a feral grin on her face, "Oh but she does." she purred. "Hermione Granger is really Aquila Lestrange."

Umbridge turned so pale she made Lucius look tan. "I..I didn't know."

"How sad," Severus cut her off. "Now you do, not that it'll do you much good."

"Who wants to start?"

"I propose we draw for it." Rabastan drawled.

"Or we could just go all at once," Rodolphus suggested.

"Me first," Sirius retorted sharply, his nose wrinkling at the stench of urine. "Ew."

"Blood will mask it soon enough Cousin." Bella dismissed.

"That doesn't excuse being uncivilised, Bella," Narcissa admonished, waving her wand, vanishing the puddle and leaving a faint hint of lemon. Bella rolled her eyes.

Cocking his head Sirius contemplated the terrified woman with a sadistic smirk, flicking his wand. The blood started pooling immediately, running into her eyes as ' I must not be a bitch" appeared, carved into her forehead. She immediately began screaming.

"Merlin we've not even started and she making that racket." Rabastan muttered in disgust.

"We could silence her," Lucius mused. Bella looked immensely put out.

"But their screaming is half the fun!"

Rodolphs arched an eyebrow, "You are attempting something nearing sanity, darling."

"We're torturing a deplorable waste of skin, darling ," she countered, "I'm not sure sanity comes into this."

"Fair point," Rodolphus allowed, "Do continue."

Narcissa sighed heavily, sending a bone-crushing hex to Dolores' knees, " Today if you please. I have Christmas to plan."

Remus blinked at her, shook his head as if dispelling water and then blinked again before shrugging. "Do you think we could transfigure a wolf?"

"Why?" Rabastan checked with a frown.

"All her werewolf laws. I can't decide if she has a strange obsession or she's just scared of them. Either way she ends up half eaten."

"Good point," he agreed. "You don't fancy…

"Absolutely not!" he interrupted, "Merlin she'd taste fucking awful. I'd be scrubbing my teeth for a week. Even in wolf form I doubt I'd be desperate enough to eat her. Gods…" he shuddered.

Severus muttered something inaudible before casting a silent sectumsempra. "You're all taking too long," he complained. Beside him, Bella was practically vibrating as Dolores' screams increased in volume.

"What if we made her think there was a wolf?" Rodolphus mused.

They all turned to look at Severus who froze for a second, fidgeting under their unexpected scrutiny. "Salvia combined with legilimency," he murmured slowly. "Nyx!"

Five minutes later, the plant procured and fed to an unwilling Umbridge, Lucius entered her mind, shuddering violently at whatever he found there. "Someone is going to obliviate me after this," he muttered as he wove in his magic.

"My turn!" Bella shouted,

"Doing what?" Sirius checked.

"I thought I'd start by removing her fingers," she replied casually.

He hummed, "I'll do the other side. Remember the sealing spell."

"Wolves tend to be hungry," Remus mused. "Perhaps I'll remove a foot…or a leg."

"I'll keep her alive in the meantime. We wouldn't want her to miss it, after all," Narcissa offered.

Rabastan and Rodolphs shared a look. "I wonder if you can send a stinging hex into a cut."

"Want to find out, brother?" Rabastan checked.

"Gladly."