Chapter Eighteen: How Bright the Moon
Eloise came to see Letty before anyone else, Letty having taken up one of the spare rooms in Featherington house until her aunt finally arrived. Eloise sat on the bed, taking Letty's hand in hers.
"Pen told me the truth. She told me that you lied to protect her," Eloise admitted.
Letty just stared at their joined hands, sniffling a bit; she'd been crying for the past two days.
"Why did you do it, Letty?" Eloise finally asked. "I know you wanted to protect Pen, but you lost so much more than she would have. Benedict…"
Letty took a shaky breath, trying not to start crying again.
"And now you're hiding here? I do not know what has caused this but I wish you would tell me."
Letty rolled away, facing away from Eloise and saying nothing. She didn't want to tell Eloise what she'd witnessed, didn't want to hear Eloise try to defend her brother. Eloise scoffed before leaving and Letty wondered now if Eloise had ever truly listened to anyone other than herself before.
Pen came next and Letty opened her arms, letting Pen crawl into her arms and held her as she sniffled about the ending of hers and Eloise's friendship.
Violet Bridgerton came last. She sat on Letty's bed and brushed some of the hair from her face, giving a weak smile.
"When I was pregnant for the first few times, the feelings were… difficult to say the least. During my last pregnancy, I had days where I could rarely get out of bed at the start. It felt as if the world was crushing me," Violet told her voice soft.
Letty gave her an alarmed look.
"Portia told me. Said she thought a Bridgerton needed to know what was happening," Violet explained. "I did not tell Benedict."
"He already knows," Letty whispered, looking away from Violet.
"And? What did he say?"
"I wasn't the one who told him so I do not know," Letty told her, remembering Benedict telling Sophie that it changed nothing between the two of them.
"I know that you and Benedict are having hard times in your marriage right now. It will pass. The two of you love each other so much," Violet tried and Letty felt the tears streaming down her face again.
"He doesn't love me," Letty whispered. "I'm sorry, Lady Bridgerton. I'd like to be alone now, though, if you'd please."
Letty rolled over, pulling the blankets over herself and putting a hand over her mouth to cover her sobs. She heard Violet leave and her sobs came out. She hid her face into her pillow, crying harder and harder until she finally fell asleep. When she woke next, her aunt was lying beside her, arms wrapped around her and making her feel safe.
Helena took Letty home and Tabitha looked beyond relieved to see her. Sophie was making herself scarce, working hard to not be seen. Portia had told Helena the tiniest bit of information that she'd gotten from Letty and Helena was more than willing to dismiss the handmaid but she wanted to give Letty the chance to stand up for herself.
"You must take the concoction the doctor sent," Helena insisted.
"It smells terrible," Letty pouted.
"I know," Helena gave a soft smile. "It will help though. Then, I may be able to convince you to rejoin society for a night? I think you need a night to forget things."
"He'll be there," Letty whispered.
"Then show him what he's missing," Helena told her with a pointed look.
Letty drank the concoction quickly, gaging once she finished before taking a few deep breathes. Letty wasn't feeling an ounce of nausea within the next hour. Helena and Tabitha helped her dress in a gown that Letty had made, lilac with black beneath, sparkles that looked like stars dancing across the skirt. Makeup hid the bruises under her eyes and lightened her skin, pouty lips painted a darker pink, and eyes made to seem brighter and more round than ever before.
Letty walked into the ball, Helena and Tabitha behind her. Eyes turned to watch her as she walked in, whispers breaking out amongst the crowd. Bridgerton eyes went to her and Benedict wanted to pull her away from the crowd, fall to his knees, and beg her forgiveness. His mother had walked into his apartment just hours ago, more upset than he had ever seen her.
That was how he'd learned of Letty's pregnancy. By his mother shouting at him for some sort of reaction he'd had and for making Letty think he did not love her. He knew Letty must have misheard part of the conversation but, now that he thought it over, he knew Letty must have thought he meant that Letty being pregnant did not matter.
He rushed forward and Letty walked right by him, going straight to the Featherington's instead. To hell with what the ton thought of them.
"I may be with child already. I must eat for two," Prudence said, lifting the last biscuit from a plate.
"Your arrogance does not count as two people," Philippa said, snatching the biscuit away.
"Well, I am with child, so I'll be taking that," Letty said, taking the biscuit and taking a bite from it.
"Really?" Prudence and Philippa gasped.
"She is," Portia said, walking over and placing a gentle hand on Letty's shoulder. "That is enough from you two. Why do you not stand with your husbands, whom I took pains to secure for you? You could be setting the mood for later."
"Alby and I lay together before we arrived," Prudence stated and Letty shushed her, looking around to make sure no one heard her speaking so brazenly.
"Just lower your voice! Not here," Portia told her.
"I'll go find Pen," Letty sighed before leaving Portia to deal with her eldest daughters.
Pen was flirting with Lord Remington when Letty saw her, Colin watching carefully.
"What is happening over there?" Letty asked him.
"Pen is searching for a husband," Colin explained.
"Yes. I know. Why do you think I made her all those new gowns?" Letty smiled softly to him.
"Speaking of gowns, this one is wonderful," Colin commented.
"Thank you," Letty smiled to him before looking to Pen and Lord Remington as he was rolled away.
"Excuse me, sister," Colin whispered, going to Pen quickly.
"It is rather unseemly that Miss Featherington took his help," Miss Livingston was saying to Miss Greenwich. "Pitiable, I think."
"It is kind of him, but perhaps overly so," Lady Cowper was telling a group of mamas.
More whispers broke out and Letty moved forward towards Pen.
"Mr. Bridgerton, we were wondering why an eligible gentleman such as yourself would help a spinster find a husband."
"Especially someone who is so beyond hope or success."
"Because Penelope is a wonderful woman and any man would be beyond lucky to have her," Letty spoke up, grabbing Pen's arm so she couldn't run off. "The Featherington's do not have a man to provide for them and the Viscount Anthony Bridgerton has extended his honeymoon, leaving his two eldest brothers in charge. While Benedict takes care of family accounts, Colin is to take care of the ladies of the house. Penelope Featherington has been close to the Bridgerton family for years, just as I have."
Everyone seemed taken aback by Letty's outburst but the Bridgertons looked proud, moving closer to the two woman.
"I wish to leave," Pen whispered to Letty.
"We should take our leave," Letty spoke up, looking to the Bridgerton's before looking to the crowd again. "It seems the company here has tired me out for the night."
"I quite agree," Violet nodded. "I shall find Francesca and your aunt and join the rest of you at home."
Letty stood straight as she led Pen out of the ball. The Bridgerton's walked behind them but Colin stopped Eloise. Letty told Benedict to take Pen to a carriage and turned to Eloise and Colin, listening in.
"Did you tell anyone of my helping Penelope?" Colin demanded.
"No. I did- I did not mean to—"
"Which means you did?"
"I confided in Cressida," Eloise admitted and Letty was confused by that.
"Because you thought you could trust her? Why you are suddenly friends with Cressida in place of Penelope, I will never understand. What could Penelope possibly have done to warrant such maltreatment? What did Letty do to deserve the same treatment for the past few months? All she ever did was defend us when the ton wanted to shun us."
Colin hurried to Letty's side and they went to the carriage that Pen was already in. Eloise waited on the steps for Helena, Violet, and Francesca. Letty sat beside Pen as she stared out at the moon above, a tear escaping down her cheek. Letty pulled Pen close and Pen willingly leaned on Letty.
"I was wondering when you'd be back to yourself," Colin admitted to Letty. "It's nice to have you back."
"Yes, well, I figured it was time that I got back to it," Letty told him before looking down at Pen. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she whispered. "Ready to be home for the evening."
"If you need me, just call for me," Letty told her.
"Of course," Pen nodded before the carriage came to a stop in front of Bridgerton house.
"I will escort you home," Colin spoke up, holding his hand out and helping Pen down.
Benedict jumped out and held his hand up to Letty. She gave him a look before climbing down on her own, lifting her gown at the front so she could see her feet as she stepped down. Benedict followed behind Letty as they headed inside Bridgerton house.
"I wish to explain myself," Benedict tried the moment they were inside.
"Don't bother with your excuses," Letty shook her head.
"Letty, please," he tried.
"Do not call me that," Letty turned on him, reminding them both of his words at the end of last season.
"I am so unbelievably sorry," he whispered, tears in his eyes. "For everything. For turning away from you last season. For saying such hurtful things. I am most sorry for what you think you saw—"
"I think I saw you and my handmaid in a secluded room standing closely together, whispering back and forth about an arrangement that the two of you had come to," Letty growled out, anger rising in her.
"She was telling me how you were—"
"And did she? Did she tell you how I was? Just for you to tell her that my condition changed nothing between the two of you?" Letty demanded.
"She did not tell me you were with child," Benedict defended.
"What does it matter?" Letty demanded. "You- you—"
"It is not what you think," Benedict insisted, stepping close to Letty. "Please. Just let me explain."
"I do not want excuses," Letty stepped away quickly, giving Benedict a blank look. "I do not wish to see you anymore. When I have this child, you may know it and we shall split time with the child, but I can no longer be around you. I refuse to be hurt by you again."
"Letty," Helena's voice spoke and Letty turned to her aunt, finding Helena, Eloise, Violet, and Francesca in the doorway, the three Bridgerton's looking shocked and hurt while Helena looked sad. "We should head home. Come."
By the light of the moon, to mistake the night as a place of safety. Which is why, perhaps, both Featherington sisters snuck away early last night with their husbands. Or maybe why Benedict and Everly Benedict ran off as well.
But one must never forget that, despite the cover of night, there are still eyes upon us all at all times. We know there is one young lady who most certainly wishes her plans had remained in the dark.
Penelope Featherington, who was so certain that she would not find a husband on her own, that she had to enlist the help of Mr. Colin Bridgerton. And while we knew Miss Featherington's marital prospects were slim at best, this recent scandal will certainly make any further hopes disappear, no matter what excuses her guard dog gave to the crowds.
"Oh, Pen," Letty sighed.
This author would not be surprised if Miss Featherington should wish to return to her familiar shadows once and for all.
"You asked him to kiss you?" Letty asked and Pen nodded.
"It was a goodbye for me," Pen told her.
Perhaps a return to the shadows is for the best. After all, a small taste of the light can lead to that most dangerous of emotions. Hope. And once hope is lost, a lady may become reckless.
"So, are you still looking for a husband?" Letty asked her as they sat on the couch in the sunroom.
"I am," she nodded. "I do not think I will have much luck, but I wish to try."
"Then a husband is what we shall find you," Letty smiled.
"Letitia," Helena breathed, stepping into the room.
"What's wrong?" Letty asked, confused by the sadness on Helena's face. "What has happened?"
"It is your father," Helena told her. "It seems that he has joined your mother."