A/N: No demons this time, sorry. Hopefully next week!
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Clone Hidan
Clone Hidan slept in his bed. His sleep was deep and comfortable. He woke up the following morning like a bubble slowly rising to the surface of a lake. After most of an hour of steadily increasing wakefulness, the bubble finally reached the surface and popped. Hidan's eyes flew open. Why the fuck is there someone else in my bed?!
He slid out of bed in stealthy silence and looked down with a frown. Original Hidan was still asleep. His mouth hung open, dry enough that no drool leaked from it, which Clone Hidan appreciated. He was shirtless and lay at an angle, not flat on his back but not on his side either. The covers were pulled up to his chest. He looked so comfortable that Clone Hidan let it go. I'll bother him about unauthorized sleepovers when he wakes up.
In the meantime, there was a week to begin. Hidan could feel the uncertain blend of emotions and inner activity that signified that lots of other people were awake. He changed into fresh pants and underwear, combed his hair, put on his cloak, placed his scythe on his back and walked out to make sure everything was going smoothly. He found the dolls chasing each other up and down the halls, Itachi and Kisame arguing over the meaning of Soye's unusual statement the night before, Yahiko jumping in joy that in only two more days they would be bringing a dog home, and Original Nagato sipping tea in order to hide aggravation. Smooth as silk!
"Hidan," Sasori said, accosting him in the kitchen. "I entrust my laptop to you for the day."
"Sure? What's this about?"
"Just a feeling."
Hidan tucked it under his arm and saluted. He carried the laptop away to his room. Original Hidan's ears twitched as the door opened. He forced his eyes open just a crack. "Mmr. Whazzthat thing?"
"Sasori's laptop. Do not touch."
Original Hidan sat up, yawned and shook his head. "I remember what happened the last time I fucked with that guy. Why'd the world-cloning process make Moonshine's clone a total wuss and Bug-boy's clone a badass? Who's writing this crap?" Clone Hidan shot him a look. "Yeah, yeah, I know. None of my business. Still, though!"
After putting down Sasori's laptop, Clone Hidan crossed his arms. "Now that you're awake, what's the deal with the unauthorized sleepover?"
"Upstairs is boring."
"No more unauthorized sleepovers."
"Oh yeah? How do you plan to make me?"
"By making it impossible for you not to! All sleepovers from now on are preemptively authorized. We are twins, after all. My room is yours. My clothing can also be yours. Keep your hands off my scythe and anything that was given to me by someone else, and we'll be good."
Original Hidan blinked slowly. "You're fucking weird." Clone Hidan stuck out his tongue. Original Hidan bristled, but only in play. They traded a few more barbs while Original Hidan combed his hair and put on his cloak and scythe. Then they left the room together.
By this point, most of the Akatsuki members who had day jobs had left. Konan and her old teammates were speaking quietly in the lobby. Both versions of Hidan joined in. "So, what's on the agenda today?" Clone Hidan asked.
"Aside from ongoing orders of business that you already know about, we were just discussing the need to reexamine our relationships with other groups," Konan told him. "Are the both of you feeling well-fed and reasonably friendly?"
Clone Hidan looked at the ceiling. Well-fed? Huh. Come to think of it, yeah. That hungry feeling that I had yesterday is totally gone. I guess the other guy took care of it while I was asleep. "I'm good."
"I could stand to stalk something," Original Hidan said, purring.
Konan scanned him from head to foot. "But not urgently, it seems. Very well. I appoint you both as diplomatic ambassadors to the Hatakes."
Clone Hidan's ears perked up. "Can we bring one or two of the dolls? I don't think we told Ruta about our experiments with my scythe."
"One," Konan replied. "And remember that the doll you bring will be retrieved sometime today, so finish any business that requires its presence quickly."
"Aye aye, cap'n." Both versions of Hidan left to hunt down the dolls. They found the dolls standing on top of each other's heads, trying to walk down a hallway. The column waved back and forth, but held together. They had gotten a lot better at balancing. "Heyo," Hidan said to them. "Mind if my bro and I borrow Solis for a visit to that camp full of friendly animal people that he's been to before?"
The dolls let the column fall apart. They fell to the ground, bounced or rolled to a halt, then got up. Solis and Warlic both ran up to Clone Hidan and hugged his legs. "She said you could only take one of them," Original Hidan said, looking at his clone intently. It was a test.
"Eh, as long as I don't take all of them it's fine," Clone Hidan replied. "All she really needs is one of them to make a portal that the others can come through."
Original Hidan purred. The test had been passed. He turned to Manta and Little One. "One of you two want to join in?"
The two dolls looked at each other. They didn't seem enthusiastic. Manta ran up to give Warlic a hug, then stepped back. Clone Hidan picked up Warlic, and Original Hidan picked up Solis. Clone Hidan told Manta and Little One to be good boys for a few hours. Then, with dolls in hand, they went out the back door, across the backyard, and into the forest.
Shortly into their journey, Original Hidan noticed a butterfly. He jumped, then shoved Solis onto the back of Clone Hidan's neck and ran back the way they had come. The two dolls turned to watch. "No, I don't know what he's going back fo -" Ding. "Nevermind. I just figured it out, and he's a genius." Clone Hidan found a fallen branch to sit on. Several minutes later, Original Hidan returned with Sasori's laptop. They resumed their journey.
"He's not gonna carve me like a rabbit for this, is he?" Original Hidan asked.
"A rabbit? Is that the sort of prey you're used to living on? Fucking sad!" Clone Hidan shook his head. "Anyway, nah, he won't. He said he had a hunch that leaving his laptop with me was a good idea. This must be what he meant."
"Hey! Rabbits are tasty. They get super scared, but they love to run, so you get a nice blend of flavors. The waddling rodents around here are barely worth stalking because they hate running. That combination of flavors is nasty."
"Why the fuck were you surprised that I would have feelings-powers? Listen to yourself!"
Original Hidan flicked one ear. "Eh, fine, fine." Some time later, he admitted: "I've never talked about it before. Because who the fuck cares."
Clone Hidan shifted Warlic to a different arm so he could sling one arm over his original's shoulders. "I'm glad you died. If you hadn't died, you wouldn't be here - you'd still be in that shithole of a world. I'm real glad you're here." Original Hidan huffed, but he did not shake off the arm.
They walked over the surface of the lake. Both dolls clung tighter. "Don't worry guys. You're not gonna die here ever again," Clone Hidan told them.
Original Hidan kicked at the water. "Most boring living lake ever."
"Don't talk about my child that way!"
A while later, they reached the borders of Hatake territory. Original Hidan knew this because he scented wolf in the air. They slowed their pace and held the things that they held with both hands. They made it all the way to the camp without meeting a patrol, which Original Hidan muttered unkind words about. Clone Hidan elbowed him. They knocked on the door of the outer cabin.
Shuffling sounds came from inside. For a full minute, that was all. Then someone opened the door. It was not someone that either version of Hidan knew. "Ah, hello," this person said. "Er… Come inside."
It turned out that they had interrupted a meeting. Members of all four branches were gathered on and around the two couches, looking very serious. Surprisingly, given what they knew of his social standing, Ruta was present. Ruta grinned and came over. He patted Warlic and Solis on their plushy heads, then gave Clone Hidan a hug. He offered a hug to Original Hidan too, but it was declined. "It's nice to see you guys! We were just talking about super important group-level business. It's, like, political stuff."
"Well, fuck," Clone Hidan replied. Warlic was wiggling frantically, but Hidan held onto him tightly. "Wouldn't want to interrupt something like that."
"No, it's alright," said a man who was familiar. Hidan had a vague recollection of him being Sakumo's right-hand man or some such. He sat on the couch that Hidan stood next to, which faced away, forcing him to twist his body to look at them. He didn't seem to mind this. "Alliances are the topic of discussion, and here you are. Perfect timing."
Clone Hidan put Warlic down but kept a firm grip on the doll's shoulders. Solis climbed down. To both of them, Hidan said, "We are in a special place. Treat it like a library." The dolls nodded. They proceeded to walk around as a pair, very seriously, and stare at everyone from a respectful distance.
"Kinda creepy, but cute if you squint," one of the half-snakes muttered. A half-wolf sitting beside him elbowed him. "I mean… Hello there, little dolls."
Original Hidan passed Sasori's laptop to his clone and yawned. "Gimme the highlights of this meeting so we can tell Konan what's what."
"Well…" Ruta said. He glanced at the half-wolf in charge, who nodded. "Um… We made some friends, or they made us, and we're figuring out what to do because they're not like people we've ever dealt with before."
"They are literally demons," said the half-wolf who had elbowed his half-snake friend.
"Oh, those guys!" Clone Hidan exclaimed. "Didja talk to Teknos?"
"The apparent leader called himself by that name," the wolf leader replied.
"You fuckers are only just now meeting these demons?" Original Hidan asked.
"Most animal species don't handle alcohol well," Clone Hidan told him.
"So what? The demons can't live in that bar. Can they?"
"Teknos described his people as very conservative in their activities, similar to us," the leader explained. "He and three companions walked into camp. They seemed surprised to find us here, as if they expected the camp to be abandoned. Sakumo spoke with them, explained that we live here."
"How?" Clone Hidan asked. "Those demons have mind-control powers that affect anyone who looks at them or hears their voices."
"Their voices were strange and disturbing, but they were covered from head to toe in dark cloth that made it impossible to see them. A precaution in case the camp wasn't abandoned."
"Why is this Teknos person looking for abandoned places?" Original Hidan asked. "Wait a second… Are they looking for us?"
The wolf leader thought about it. "One of his companions implied that they thought there might be someone out here, but not us."
"Gotcha, gotcha," Clone Hidan muttered. "Demons go exploring looking for places we might be, find you guys instead. Sakumo explains the whole situation and y'all make friends?"
"Not quite," said the half-wolf with a half-snake friend. "It's more complicated than that."
Original Hidan scowled. "Who the fuck are all of you people?"
The leader raised his hand. "I am Masume. I'm leading this meeting in Sakumo's absence." He gestured at Ruta. "That is Ruta, who you know already." He pointed at the half-wolf and half-snake that sat beside each other on the couch opposite. "Reiki and Jyuu, two of our membership who have personally met and hunted with a vampire." He gestured to a half-tiger sitting on the same couch, one person removed. "Kusa, who accompanied some of your members to a meeting with the vampires and now has a vampire in his contacts." He then gestured at a half-lizard who leaned against the side of the opposite couch. "Finally, Chiki, who has spoken to the leader of the vampires. Everyone else is someone relevant to our internal clan politics. I could introduce them -"
"Don't bother," Original Hidan said, flicking his tail dismissively. "So you fuckers know the vampires? How? What do you talk about with them?"
"Hey!" Clone Hidan exclaimed, jabbing his twin in the ribs. "They're our friends. Friendly chatting. Pretend they're all Yahiko."
"We're here on business. We were supposed to stop in, tell Ruta about those experiments we did, and then you could stay and chat all day while I found something to stalk. Instead I'm gonna be stuck inside a room for who knows how long. I'm hungry."
"Why didn't you tell Konan you were hungry when she asked?! You made it sound like finding prey was optional!"
"That was before I realized there was something stopping me from hunting freely!"
"Go on, then. I'll handle the diplomacy."
Original Hidan flicked his tail. "Not a fucking chance. This shit sounds important."
"Then stop whining." Clone Hidan turned to Masume. "Anyway, what he said. How do you know the vampires, are you real close with them, shit like that."
"Uh…" Masume needed a moment. "We are not very close with them. Aside from occasional encounters in the forest and Kusa's daily texting, we do not interact with the vampires very much. I would describe our clan's relationship with them as neutral. So far. One of the intended topics for this meeting is if it may be a good idea to try to change that."
"But first, the demons," the half-snake - Jyuu - said. "Literal demons. Literal unholy beings who suck souls. I'm not the only person who has a problem with the idea of demons walking into our camp whenever they want. They could've lifted those covering clothes and done all sorts of things if they'd wanted."
"You had a problem with vampires too, and look how that turned out," his friend - Reiki - said.
"The vampires have never once walked into our camp."
"Hey, hey," Clone Hidan said, raising his hands. "Teknos and the rest of those demons are cool."
Original Hidan elbowed him. "Ya sure about that? Aside from Sasori meeting with those fuckers a few times, mostly for unrelated business, nobody has talked with them since I came back to life."
Clone Hidan opened his mouth to reply, but could not. Fuck, he's right! "Okay, so we're not super close. But they seem mostly cool. None of them have attacked or anything."
"Didn't your group play with the last demon who attacked you like a cat plays with a mouse, then kill her? And that was before Konan had time to train you in jack shit. We're the local crazy people who are way too dangerous to make an enemy out of. D'of course none of those weak-ass demons will attack us."
"Okay, okay, we need to talk with them more," Clone Hidan admitted. He returned his attention to Masume. "I retract my earlier statement. We don't know shit about how cool they may or may not be."
All of the Hatakes gathered in the room were staring at them. Masume raised a hand. "May we hear this story?"
Clone Hidan looked at Original Hidan, who shrugged. "Okay. It was a few months ago, just after Konan gathered us up…" He told the story of the battle against the succubus. "...And we've been kinda-sorta friends with them ever since."
"More kinda than sorta from what I hear," Original Hidan said. "I'd be surprised if Teknos views us as anything more than mercenaries. Bruisers he can call in to shake up any situation."
"You guys are pretty impressive," Ruta said. He looked at Original Hidan. "Sasori did carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey that one time."
A vague suspicion took root in Clone Hidan's mind. "When Teknos and Sakumo talked, did Sakumo mention that our two groups are friends?"
Masume frowned. "No."
"Maaaaayyyybe keep it that way."
"So that the demons feel free to make friends with us without fear of angering you?" Ruta asked.
"What are you, an idiot?" Original Hidan asked him. "No, it's so that if they're secretly plotting against us, they let you in on their plot, and then you can tell us everything."
"But also what you said," Clone Hidan told Ruta. "Involving us, even just by proxy, will make everything way more complicated than it needs to be."
"But you totally think that Teknos is up to something, don't you?" Original Hidan asked Clone Hidan. "Why the fuck else would he be looking to explore abandoned structures in and around the forest?"
"I don't know jack."
"Translation: yes, Other Me, you are entirely correct."
"Howsabout we get off this topic. The dolls are looking too interested." Clone Hidan pointed at Warlic and Solis, who sat on the back of Masume's couch looking like they wanted to be holding miniature bowls of popcorn. Original Hidan flicked an ear. Translation: yes, Other Me, we shall get off this topic. "So. About the vampires. We chatted with Soye just last night. We can give you all some tips for how to improve relations with them if you want."
Masume looked at Chiki. The lizard man nodded. Masume turned to Hidan and asked, "What did you discuss last night, if it's alright to ask?"
Original Hidan laughed. "Oh, nothing much. Just the fact that she can't even pretend to pass judgment on our group rules anymore because we're too crazy and terrifying."
"Elaborate," Masume said to Clone Hidan.
"We made a new group rule that says that anyone who breaks our other rules has to offer up their blood for drinking. It's not supposed to be used; the idea was to create a punishment so horrible that nobody would dare to break the rules."
Original Hidan added, "You'd think that vampires would be used to things like that, but for some reason they looked way more freaked out than any of the actual humans whose actual blood was at risk."
"...Uh huh," Masume muttered.
Clone Hidan looked up at the ceiling as he thought. "That's just the latest stage in a trend of backing off, I think. When we first started meeting with the vampires, Soye treated the diplomats that we sent like pushovers and tried to boss them around. Then we kinda sorta kicked off a civil war among the vampires - more sorta than kinda - and she was more like, 'Okay, we'll just spy on you all the time and set strict territorial boundaries.' Then we violated those territorial boundaries a few times, and now they're less like 'you will die if you enter our lands uninvited' and more like 'you will receive a withering look of disapproval if you break into our houses without a good reason.' We invited Soye to participate the first time we remade our group rules, and she forced us to change a bunch of them. But now, the second time we reorganize our group rules, she said instead, 'Your rules are none of our business because we don't even understand them.' So now we're at a place where the vampires are spying on us all the time and we're not supposed to break their laws, but we don't have to fear violence or anything. Although a lot of the group still acts like we have to. I remember hearing that there was a lot of panic when Obito went to visit, that almost everyone wanted to launch a rescue mission. They thought he'd get killed for trespassing. But Soye didn't do anything except give him a stern warning."
"When you lay it all out like that, it sounds like a story about you bullying your neighbors into submission." Original Hidan laughed. "Ha! Anyone who lets themself get pushed around like that is a wussy-ass! I knew I was right to call them pathetic! If they weren't weak-willed cowards, they would've launched a war against us by now. Or a sneaky plot to manipulate us into destroying their enemies for them. Hey, Other Me, has Soye been telling Konan to be suspicious of anyone?"
"Not that I know of." No fucking way. I know we're the local crazy people who can do anything, but we are genuine friends with everyone, aren't we? Even if we have personal disagreements or fallouts with some of the other groups around here, everyone's being honest, aren't they? Hidan remembered how, the day they discovered that Jiraiya was around, Shikaku's group had only pretended to believe their claims about being ninjas from another world. They had nodded along with everything the Akatsuki members said while secretly thinking that every member of the Akatsuki was brainwashed or insane. That was just one incident. It doesn't mean anything.
Meanwhile, Original Hidan remarked, "It's kinda weird that I've never heard any of the neurotic pansies who obsess about how other people see them talk about how our group is seen by other groups. If you can talk about inane shit like best flavor of cake, why not important shit like political status?"
Clone Hidan had had enough. He growled and put Sasori's laptop down on an end table so he could slap his original upside the jaw. "Could you stop being annoyingly correct in public? It's embarrassing for me and confusing for everyone else."
"Which is how I know that I'm doing my job," Original Hidan said with a smirk. "I'll go out hunting, then. Enjoy your meeting." He darted out the door and was gone.
A very awkward silence descended. Clone Hidan relaxed the iron grip he had been maintaining on his train of thought, allowing the boiling mixture of emotions and thoughts in the cabin to overwhelm him. He said nothing and stood still, allowing himself to be washed away by confusion, fear, disbelief, and many subtler emotions that could not be told apart or identified by name. In a very short time he rose above these things and regained the ability to act and speak. He sensed that everybody felt very uncomfortable, so he turned to Ruta and said, "We ran some experiments with the dolls' magic and my scythe. Wanna see the results?"
Ruta's eyes flicked sideways, towards the rest of his group. "Um… A brief synopsis?"
"You were correct. Floating and glowing are inherent properties of mana; when the dolls channeled plain mana into my scythe, it floated and glowed. Then I had them practice with different elements. The five elements that we can use worked the same way for them as for us. The other three - water, darkness and light - had interesting effects. When the scythe is charged with water magic, it attracts all nearby water to it. That is the deadliest element to charge it with, except for darkness. The darkness element is so dangerous that the dolls wouldn't let me touch it. I think it might turn me undead. Light, though, gives the scythe healing powers."
"Healing powers on a weapon?" Ruta's eyes went wide and started to dart everywhere. He did not speak, so the energy of his thoughts expressed itself through pacing. Ruta used the outer edges of the room like a track, circling the group on the couches over and over. The dolls jumped down from the couch and followed him.
This forced Hidan inward. He scratched his head and looked around. Ruta's interference made it hard to feel anyone else's feelings, but he thought the Hatakes had reached a general consensus. He was correct. Masume looked at him differently. What is that look in his eyes? Suspicion, or…respect? "You've never tested our territorial boundaries," Masume said.
"A. You barely have any, and B. No reason to. Your only off-limits areas are your cabins, and we can always find whoever we want to talk to outside the cabins." Wow. That sounds really bad. "We only respect your boundaries because you don't have anything we want"? Who thinks like that?
"Anyone who tries to enter our cabins uninvited should expect attack," Chiki said. He spoke plainly, matter-of-factly, not sounding angry or offended at all.
"Definitely not gonna then."
"That can't be right," Reiki muttered. "When Jyuu and I met the vampires, they were more than willing to defend themselves and their boundaries. What changed?"
"Was that before or after the civil war?"
"Before," said Kusa. "Our mission to pretend to film a documentary about the effects of the civil war was some time after the night of the big hunt."
"They're weakened," Masume said simply. "A weakened pack can't defend the same boundaries they could when they were strong."
"I'm sorry that's something you guys even have to worry about," Hidan said. "Fuck, we're bullies, aren't we?"
Chiki tilted his head. "What would you do if we became so weak as to be unable to defend our boundaries at all?"
"Uh… Forget you existed." Konan had told Hidan the basic gist of what Sasori said the day before. "You wouldn't be interesting anymore."
"If we had something you wanted?"
"...Leave it. You guys could have it. You'd need it."
Chiki nodded. "Not bullies, then. Bullies preferentially seek out those too weak to defend themselves. Preferentially seeking out parties who are as strong as you or stronger is not bully behavior."
"Crossing boundaries seems wrong, though."
"How many times have you broken into a vampire's house?" asked a half-wolf.
"Uh… The dolls did it once because they don't even understand the concept of boundaries. Then Other Me did it because he does understand the concept and he wanted to see if the vampire would stand up to him. Those are the only two times, I think."
"What happened with that Obito person you mentioned?" asked a half-tiger.
"The vampires made a rule banning certain specific people from the whole entire area of land where their houses are."
"How many times did you send a banned person into forbidden territory?"
"Just the once."
Masume said, "That doesn't sound like crossing boundaries so much as testing them. The vampires are failing those tests. That tells us a lot about how they are doing. Their group health is clearly quite poor! Perhaps we should reach out, to try to offer aid if we can."
"What about the demons?" Jyuu asked. "We don't know much about them. We need to know more. Here, you've given us a way to find out what we need to know. Are you testing their boundaries too, and if so, how are they responding?"
Every Hatake looked at Hidan. Hidan frowned. "We're not. Their boundary is that bar they do business in, and also whatever hidden locations they sleep in. We're not spending any time at all in that bar, and nobody's ever expressed the slightest curiosity about finding out where they live when they're not at work."
Masume sighed. "Nuts."
"I guess it's because we don't need to test them to know their strength. They tried to test us, and failed so badly that we've written them off as too weak to pay attention to. Approaching a single boundary of theirs now would feel like…like bullying."
"Teknos is strong," a half-wolf said. "That much was obvious. It would not be bullying to test again, now, when you have good reason to believe they've changed."
"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. Are you asking us to figure out how much you should trust the demons?"
"He's right. We need to confront them ourselves at some point," Chiki said.
Masume nodded. "Yes, but it is risky to do so blindly. It would be much smarter to watch from afar as they confront someone else. That way, we don't risk our own members."
No way. This thing we can't seem to stop doing - can we get some good out of it? "Okay then," Hidan said. "We'll try to find out how strong they are."
"Excuse me." Ruta rejoined the party. "You've only tested light and darkness magic on ordinary living beings, right? What about beings with divine or demonic natures?"
Hidan laughed and ruffled his hair. "That is so totally unrelated to the conversation! I love ya, kid."
"I don't think it's unrelated," Ruta said. "I was thinking about how your scythe can channel all sorts of energies. You've tested it with multiple magic systems, and it works. What about divine energies?"
Hidan paused. "The scythe was actually created originally for channeling divine energies. Handling magic is just a side effect."
"What would happen if the demons touched it?"
"A demon tried to touch me. I threw her through a fucking wall, busted up physical reality on some kind of really small level - molecular or cellular - and unleashed chaos. My scythe is just an extension of me, so I don't think the results would be very different."
"Huh. So then, you're the one who guarantees that your group will be safe. You're the ultimate fallback position."
"What does that have to do with my scythe?"
"Nothing. I'm rambling. Sorry."
Masume stood up and stretched. "We're all starting to ramble. It means the meeting needs to end." He walked up to Hidan and held his hand out for a handshake. Hidan obliged. "I'll tell Sakumo you agreed to help. He was skittish about the demons too - hear that, Jyuu? - and so he'll be glad to hear that you're helping us with them."
"I'd promise not to test your boundaries too much, but I don't think I or the rest of my group can keep a promise like that."
"If we ever wish to tighten our camp security, we'll let you know. And increase the wolf patrols, and tell all wolves on patrol to bite intruders."
"Much appreciated. Thank you. No better teacher than bite marks."
Hidan left the cabin escorted by Masume. He noted on his way out that the usual wolves had returned to their positions underneath the porch. They growled, upset that someone had sneaked past while they were absent, but they restrained their teeth because of Masume's presence. "Looks like Sakumo's returned," Masume muttered. "He and many of our camp wolves were out on special wolf business. Don't ask."
"I see those teeth," Hidan said by way of reply.
He left the camp in high spirits. Oh man, Other Me missed the best part of the meeting! He'll love to hear that we're fucking contracted for our boundary-testing services now. Should I share it in the chat? Nah, it's such important news that it's gotta be delivered in person. I'll tell Konan when I get back. He picked up his pace.
When he passed the fallen branch that he had sat on earlier, he stopped and spun around. Sasori's laptop! I left it there! Oh shit! The dolls! They were following Ruta in circles, but when he rejoined the conversation they weren't with him! They fucking disappeared and I forgot to look for them! Fuck! Other Me's gonna laugh himself to death when he hears that I forgot every fucking thing! Ah, shit, what do I do?!
He called Sasori. Ring. Ring. Ri - "Hello?"
"Hey, Sasori. So, about your laptop…"
"Just leave it. I'm sure whatever happened to it was meant to be."
"Ya really think so?"
"Yes."
"Okay… Thanks." Hidan hung up. Well, Sasori generally knows what's what. If he's not bothered, I shouldn't be. The dolls will be retrieved by portal at any moment now. I guess I can just go home. Tell Konan the good news if she's still there, make a sandwich if she isn't, prepare myself for getting laughed at either way. Yeah. That's what I'll do.
No matter what Ruta says, I suck at guaranteeing anything. But at least I can be a useful measuring tool.
.
A/N: The line "no better teacher than bite marks" reminds me of a meme that I often see in neurodivergent circles. The meme says something along the lines of, "What if you're attracted to doms not because you're a sub, but because you're autistic and they're clear about what they want?" Clarity is nice...
The Hatakes are starting to resemble my partner and his family. They're gentle, laid-back people who aren't obviously very forceful, ambitious or intimidating. They sit around watching TV most of the day. But whenever I need help, they're clear and direct about providing it. They might not get off the couch, but if I share a problem I'm having they'll think up a solution instead of making me go to all the work of pitching a solution to them. Conversely, if I ask them for something that I don't really need too many times, they start saying, "Help yourself." Their boundary line is generous, but it does exist and it is enforced. Also, they have a lot of cats.
The friend the demons are symbolic of, though... There's no clarity at all with her. The fact that we only text, that I can't see her face or hear her tone of voice or see her surrounding context or even feel a strong sense of time passing, all makes it nearly impossible to establish any sort of boundary. And I don't want to press for tons of information because she's already going through a lot. She has been going through a lot for all the time that I've known her. There has never been a good time to press, to test, to be anything other than delicate or avoidant.
Though maybe a little more belief in her strength would do her some good.
I feel like I'm finally getting close to a breakthrough on this troubled relationship of mine. So close... One more chapter... One more chapter, and then we'll finally find out what's what with the demons. Ah, can't wait.