"Feeling better?"
The corners of Santana's mouth curved upward softly, a gentle smile gracing her lips as she gazed at the curled up form of the blonde laying on the other side of the couch.
The blonde had begun to complain about feeling dizzy again when she tried moving around her apartment to pack up her stuff, so Santana had encouraged her to lay down while the Latina just went ahead and did the work of packing for both of them.
Before Santana knew it, Brittany had dozed off in the middle of their conversation.
Santana couldn't even be mad because the girl was too adorable, though she felt flustered when Brittany all but collapsed into her arms. Santana's arm settled around her waist instinctively as she gently helped Brittany over to the couch so she could lay down properly.
"A lot better." Brittany murmured through a yawn, as she sat up, stretching at the sound of Santana's raspy tone. Hearing Santana's voice did things to her and she was trying not to let on to just how much she needed the Latina's touch, even though she had only been in her ex's presence for about a day.
Meanwhile, Santana swallowed hard, forcing her gaze away from the sliver of pale, freckled skin that showed when Brittany's shirt rode upward. Her gaze met Brittany's and they could both feel that familiar tension in the air. Brittany spoke up again, smirking just a little when she saw where Santana was looking.
"Sorry, how long was I out for? I'm so sorry for practically passing out on you, I just feel super exhausted all the time."
"About an hour," Santana chuckled, "Guess I bored you that much, huh?" She joked. "Don't worry about it. It's the hormonal changes and stuff. It's normal. You should eat something more though. What do you want for lunch?"
Brittany's face immediately lit up at the thought, bringing another smile to Santana's face. Neither of them felt like cooking - well Santana never really enjoyed cooking at the best of times - so ordering pizza was a no-brainer. Brittany had a huge grin on her face, excitedly declaring that she wanted extra cheese and a million other toppings. There was no way Santana could refuse her when she was looking at her like that.
Santana was startled when the blonde began dipping a slice of the meaty, greasy pizza that was covered in sausage, pepperoni, ham, and bacon in some Nutella of all things.
It kind of made her stomach churn a little when Brittany alternated between dipping parts of the same slice in Nutella and drizzling it in copious amounts of ranch. She added mini M&Ms on top of the same slice too, alternating between dipping her side of french fries in mayonnaise and chocolate ice cream. Santana was a little alarmed.
"Eating healthy today, I guess. Britt, maybe these pregnancy cravings are a little um, out of hand," She chuckled. Brittany just shrugged, unfazed, happily sighing as she closed her eyes in bliss and took another bite of her third slice. "I've never seen you eating like this."
"Your baby wants it. It'll make him all fat and cute in the best way. I think he really likes junk food and chocolate because lately that's all I want all the time."
Your baby
Those words made Santana's heart beat a little faster. She still couldn't get over the fact that it was her baby in there. It made her feel happy somehow, in a way she hadn't felt in ages.
"I'm glad you're enjoying it. You can have whatever you want. Wait, so you know for sure that the baby's a boy?"
"Not really, it's just a gut feeling. Maternal instinct. Hey, come sit with me." Brittany beckoned her closer and Santana couldn't help but give in to the urge to hang out with the blonde. She'd normally be searching for jobs in the city but fuck that, she had nothing better to do that day and this was way better than the alternative.
Santana had almost forgotten how enjoyable it had been to just laze around with Brittany, even when they were doing practically nothing together. It felt almost like they were just carefree teens with what seemed like endless time, spending summer vacation together almost everyday before everything became so complicated and messy.
It was after six p.m, when Rachel finally walked in and she raised her eyebrows when she saw how the two of them were practically tangled up on the couch with Santana on top of Brittany.
It all started when the blonde playfully held the remote control out of Santana's reach above her head, making the Latina giggle then she got on top of the taller girl, carefully tickling her sides with a teasing smirk. Then before Santana knew it, their bodies were practically intertwined.
Rachel knew that Santana and Brittany had broken up so she probably hadn't expected to see something like that going on. She cleared her throat. Santana practically fell on top of Brittany, startled by the sound of the door closing behind the Broadway singer and her footsteps.
"I'm home! Santana? Whoa, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
The shorter brunette singer shook her head and looked away, acting as if Santana was having wild sex with Brittany in their apartment while she was out or something.
"W-what?" Santana sputtered, retracting the arm she had curled around Brittany's waist as the blonde beside her gave her a confused look. Santana never thought she blushed but at that moment, she was sure the redness probably showed through the melanin on her heated cheeks. "It's um, not what you think, Berry."
Rachel rolled her eyes, surveying her with a skeptical look, sarcasm in her voice.
"Okay. Sure, Santana, if you say so. "
"We were just-"
"Oh no, please spare me the details. No offence, but while we may be reluctant frenemies at this point, I'd rather not hear about your private activities with your… lover, at all, ever."
She was too busy trying to calm her racing heart to argue and Brittany had fallen silent, an unreadable look on her face.
Santana didn't really care at all what Rachel thought of the two of them but it made her flustered and embarrassed for some reason to be caught with Brittany in that position, more because of how the blonde might react to it.
It just reminded her of how much she wanted to lean in and kiss the girl the entire time she stared down at her. Brittany looked up at her, eyes wide and filled with wonder, cheeks a bright shade of pink until Santana eventually climbed off of her with an awkward grunt.
"Hey Berry. Got some good news for ya."
As Santana predicted, the girl barely concealed her joy when she'd told her that she'd be moving out, practically cheering and hollering as Santana cursed at her but had a grin on her own face.
Before she knew it, she was sitting next to Brittany on a flight back to their hometown.
"Don't be shy, Honey. Come in!" Whitney beckoned to her, pulling her into a warm hug when she saw Santana standing on the front porch beside her daughter. "Santana! Pierce, the girls are here!"
"Hello!" Pierce shouted, joining the group hug with his wife and Santana, giving her a fatherly squeeze on the shoulder after they finally released her from the back-breaking hug. "Brittany! You're back! Oh wait, and who are you again?"
Santana groaned, chuckling along with Whitney and Brittany at the blonde's father. Pierce always had a long-running, corny joke about now knowing who Santana was and he loved trolling her, much to his wife and daughters' exasperation.
"Good to see you again, Mr. Pierce." She eventually said as he grinned and welcomed her in.
Santana couldn't deny that she felt a little anxious about seeing the Pierce parents again, after the breakup. She wasn't sure how much they knew about the situation and whether they'd blame her for breaking their little girl's heart like Santana undoubtedly had. The dark-haired girl winced, grimacing at the thought. She knew that if she had been in their place, she'd be furious.
Apparently, Whitney and Pierce weren't as mad at her as she assumed, so at least there was that. She hadn't sensed any anger from the two and they were kind enough to allow her to stay with them. The Pierces had always been forgiving to her when she screwed up and it was something Santana appreciated about them.
Santana took over the job of lifting all of their bags in with help from Pierce and not allowing Brittany to carry anything as the blonde rolled her eyes at her playfully but thanked her.
"Where should I take my stuff?" Santana wondered out loud, realizing she and Brittany hadn't thought that part of things through at all beyond the decision for Santana to stay at the Pierces.
"Oh, you don't mind shacking up in Brittany's room, do you? The guest room's under construction at the moment - we're turning it into a nursery - and I figured it wouldn't be a problem for you two, since you always spent so much time up there anyway." The older woman winked at them.
Santana and Brittany gave each other a look, heat rising to both of their faces.
"Um, if you're sure, Mrs. Pierce." Santana didn't know where this meek, polite person came from when she was around the Pierces but she always felt like she needed to be on her best behavior with them, even though they were the opposite of strict parents.
"Of course it's fine, Honey. It's not like we need to worry about teen pregnancy anymore, unless you're gonna get knocked up by Brittany too now. I'm practical about these things. The deed is done and the horse is out of the barn now."
The Latina wasn't sure what to make of the logic but it was typical Whitney and just like the other Pierces, there was no point trying to get everything to make sense.
Santana nearly choked when she heard this and her face paled about the "get knocked up" part, mentally reminding herself not to let Brittany near any more potential pregnancy-causing internet spells anytime soon. Whitney just laughed.
"Relax, Darling. I'm just kidding around with you. You're my precious soon to be grandbaby's other mommy, of course you're more than welcome here. Make yourself at home."
Santana was able to do just that, once they got over the initial awkwardness of meeting with Brittany's parents.
Brittany's ten year old sister was thrilled to see Santana when she came home from school, bouncing over to her right away and hugging her tightly until Whitney eventually took her away to let the dark-haired girl have some breathing room while Santana just laughed.
They each took a shower, grateful for it after the long flight and Santana shivered, trying to ignore the heat that settled between her legs when Brittany came back down wearing just tiny, pink polka dot pajama shorts with a tank top that left little to the imagination.
Santana took a seat beside Brittany on the living room couch and smiled when the blonde instantly leaned against her side.
Without thinking about it, she encouraged her to lean back into her embrace as Brittany absentmindedly stroked her own lower belly, the TV continuing to blare in front of them as Brittany's parents could be heard moving around upstairs as they left the two girls alone to get settled in. Santana scrolled through her phone while Brittany was watching some movie.
Santana couldn't help it when her gaze drifted to Brittany's lower belly before she could stop it. She was wondering whether a swell showed but noticed that Brittany's stomach was still more or less flat. Brittany pouted a little, apparently thinking the same thing as her palm flattened against her stomach.
"Aw, I still don't feel a little baby bump yet."
"I think that's okay. I'm checking all of these internet articles for you and they said that you probably won't have a bump just yet. It's normal, Britt."
At first she was just curious about the baby bump but then Santana couldn't help but appreciate Brittany's body.
She took notice of the girl's still slim waist and flat, toned stomach, then her long, perfectly thick and curvy legs that were on display. All the darker-haired girl could focus on were the bare expanses of skin and how adorable Brittany looked in casual clothes when she wasn't even trying to be.
Santana really was trying hard to be respectful of Brittany, especially since the blonde was going through a very emotional time as it was and they had just been able to patch things up about the break up.
However, it was difficult to ignore all of the excitement and sparks she felt whenever their skin barely touched. Santana spent the rest of the time trying to calm her racing heart and remind herself that she shouldn't be thinking of the girl that way.
"I should probably get to bed. School tomorrow." Brittany groaned out. Santana followed her upstairs, knowing the way to the blonde's bedroom by heart from so many years of spending time at the Pierces.
"I guess I'll do the same."
Santana's heart ached as she watched Brittany go through all the little rituals she usually did before school like brushing her hair out before bed in front of the mirror and painting her nails.
She could barely handle how familiar everything about this felt as Lord Tubbington curled around the blonde girl's legs. He paused to stare at Santana with a typical baleful glance. He wouldn't stop staring in her direction and Santana arched an eyebrow at the cat, amused.
"Aw, yes, Sweetie. Santana's here," Brittany cooed to him, picking him up in her arms and cradling him like a massive baby. "I think he missed you, San."
The other girl snorted.
"I doubt it somehow. You okay?" Santana asked, noticing the furrow in Brittany's brow and the way she grimaced slightly as she stood up.
"My back kind of hurts. It's like that sometimes now, especially when I'm lying down to sleep."
"I'll rub it for you." Santana suggested without thinking. Brittany didn't refuse at all, laying down on the bed on her side after she had put Lord Tubbington down again and whining just a little as she curled up. Santana got behind her on the bed and the blonde shivered slightly when she began massaging her back through her tank top.
"That feels so good. You're so good at that."
Santana tried to ignore how the sound of Brittany's voice when she practically moaned those particular words out sent a jolt between her own legs. The dark-haired girl cleared her throat, quickly putting some distance between them as she desperately tried to control her urges.
"Um, where do I sleep?"
"Oh, right." Brittany caught on to what she meant, heated tension in the air as both girls looked away. Santana could tell that Brittany wanted to offer sharing the bed with her but even she knew that would be a huge line to cross at this point.
Santana eventually settled into an inflatable bed that the girls set up beside Brittany's own while the taller girl hugged Lord Tubbington as she slept. She thought about moving downstairs to the couch but this was at least a lot more comfortable, even if her hormones were going crazy while she was in such close proximity to Brittany.
They were like best friends again, it seemed, doing everything together but Santana didn't know how to navigate this new stage of their relationship. One thing was for sure, Santana felt more grounded and at peace than she had in a long time. This had been a major change that made her life plan go far differently to how she imagined but it was far better.
Being by Brittany's side again was so much better than even fame and money or even the satisfaction that would come from being more successful than Rachel Berry. Besides, Santana could make her own type of success, instead of doing Broadway stuff she had never been interested in anyway.
There were more important things in life than beating Rachel Berry, as shocking as that concept was to her. It took everything in her to admit that she could let her animosity toward that girl go, or at least drop it enough for the time being to focus on more important things than her rivalry.
Despite it being seemingly an odd arrangement, everything was coming together after a few days of living with the Pierces in their cozy house.
Brittany was still technically in high school so she still went to her classes everyday and Santana was just trying to wrap her head around everything. She wasn't expecting it when Brittany suggested a shopping trip the next day.
"Hi, Britt, how was school?"
"Kinda boring. Tina's being all depressing and annoying as usual. Hey, do you want to go shopping?"
"Shopping?" Santana was confused, blinking a few times rapidly. The dark-haired girl was in the middle of looking through a bunch of job applications online when Brittany appeared before her in her bedroom, tossing down her backpack and kicking off her shoes as she flopped onto her bed face down and moaned in relief.
"Yeah, I mean, I know it's going to be a long way off until the baby comes but maybe it'll be fun." The blonde shrugged her shoulders, though Santana could tell even though she was acting casual, she really wanted her to say yes.
Santana took one look at Brittany's hopeful, excited expression and nodded instantly, knowing that the other girl probably just wanted to get out of the house. Santana felt the same way.
She kind of wanted to cheer Brittany up and they really did have a lot of shopping they'd need to do, so she was happy to drive the blonde there.
She was surprised that Brittany was actually letting her get so involved in the baby preparation process. She couldn't deny that the idea of going on a shopping trip with Brittany again instantly brought a delightful feeling to her, bringing back memories of all the time she spent with the blonde at malls.
Although admittedly, most of her more vivid memories were of the two of them fooling around in dressing rooms, trying to silence each other so they wouldn't get caught…
Brittany had thought this through deeply and had a whole list prepared, which made Santana a little nervous but she followed her lead.
Santana had no idea babies needed so many things but it made a warm, contented feeling come over her whenever the bubbly blonde showed her more things she wanted to get for their baby.
She let Brittany do most of the selecting of items as Santana didn't know the first thing about babies, nor did she have any strong preferences but the blonde had apparently done some research. Whitney already had a lot of her daughters' things set aside for the blonde but it couldn't hurt to have a few more essentials.
Brittany kept gravitating toward everything cat-themed and Santana just smiled because it was so typical Britt.
"What do you think?" Brittany held up a white baby blanket with little tigers on it to show her. "Isn't it cute?"
Santana wasn't one for things like that but even she had to admit it was adorable.
"I like it. It's a good choice. You have great taste, Britt. We should get it."
Brittany beamed at her as they strolled along together through the aisles.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Santana could hear the amusement in her own voice.
Brittany was quiet for a long moment, watching her.
"It's just that I realized how much I missed this… I missed doing stuff with you, even little things. I missed you."
Santana froze in place, at a loss for words at Brittany's admission and the way she was looking at her with softness in her blue eyes.
She didn't know what to say and she was grateful that Brittany took pity on her by changing the subject, chattering happily about the footie pajamas she wanted to get for the baby.
She wanted to tell Brittany that she felt the same and ask her what exactly she meant by all of that but she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Britt, no, it's alright. Let me pay for everything." Santana insisted, stepping in front of her when they eventually pushed the cart up to the register and Brittany was looking into her pink purse.
"Are you sure? You know you don't have to."
"Of course. It's my pleasure. I want to do this for you."
"Aw, Santana. So chivalrous." The smitten, fond look Brittany gave her made everything worth it and Santana tried not to let on how much it made her melt inwardly.
If the middle aged cashier had any judgmental thoughts about seeing two very young looking girls paying for a whole bunch of baby-related items, she thankfully didn't say anything.
Being able to afford a baby wasn't going to be a problem for either of them, so at least that was one less worry. The middle class Pierces were fairly well off while the Lopez family were very rich and Santana continued to insist on paying for anything Brittany needed.
It was the least she felt she could do, considering Brittany was the one with all the dizziness, soreness and everything else to deal with.
Santana could tell Brittany was nervous about school now that she was diligently doing her homework every night, for once in her life and attending classes, instead of skipping them. She was all jittery and she had that telltale look on her face that told Santana she was probably on the verge of a meltdown. It made her want to wrap the blonde up in her embrace.
"Need any help?" Santana asked, noticing the way Brittany had been frowning and staring at the same page of the literature book she had to read for the last twenty minutes while she chewed on her lower lip. Santana eventually lay beside her on her stomach on the bed, looking over Brittany's shoulder at the book. Brittany was very creative but she never seemed to know how to interpret literature, or any of the other subjects the way teachers wanted her to and her essays were chaotic. "How long does that essay need to be?"
"Five hundred words."
Santana grimaced. Judging by what Brittany had written in her notebook, which was two sentences for the last half hour, Brittany had no idea what else to write.
Often, in cases like this Santana would have just written Brittany's essay for her herself but Santana knew it wasn't the right move to suggest that now - not when Brittany was so determined to do things differently that year.
Then Santana noticed the tear Brittany was wiping away from her cheek, even though she had turned her face away from her.
"What's wrong? You're crying over this?" Santana asked in as gentle and soft of a voice as she could. "Huh?"
Brittany was still not meeting her eyes and Santana frowned, concerned.
"Nothing's wrong."
"Britt." Santana just gave her a pointed look. She wasn't going to drop it.
"I just feel really stupid, okay? I feel so stupid. Everyone else gets this stuff except me. I don't know how to do anything right!" Brittany finally admitted with a sob that broke Santana's heart when she heard it. She pulled Brittany into her arms and the blonde cried against her shoulder while Santana stroked her back gently. "I keep failing all the tests in class still. I'm so, so stupid!"
"No don't say that. Shh, come here. You're going to get this right, okay? We'll work on this together," Brittany eventually nodded as Santana slipped her arm around her shoulders. "I'm proud of you for trying so hard."
"You're being really lovely right now. Thanks for taking care of me."
Santana blurted out her next words without thinking, completely honest in her reply.
"I love taking care of you."
A rosy pink blush rose to Brittany's cheeks.
"You're cute."
Santana's eyebrows rose and her heart fluttered, wondering if she had just imagined that flirtatious tone in Brittany's response. She suddenly had an idea of how to cheer her up.
"C'mon, I know you're not feeling so good tonight. How about we have a sleepover like we used to when you're done with your essay just to celebrate?"
Brittany nodded right away, her expression brightening instantly. There was nothing she and Brittany did better than sleepovers and they'd done it since they were six years old.
The only difference was that their sleepovers became a lot more intimate when they reached their teens and the attraction between them grew so intense that neither of them could stand it anymore.
That night, Santana decided that they should hang out together in Brittany's bedroom the way they always did during their sleepovers. Laying together on Brittany's bed just talking and watching cheesy episodes of Sweet Valley High brought back so many good memories.
Without really thinking about what she was doing, Santana scrolled through her old Instagram pictures on her phone mindlessly, not bothered by Brittany being beside her as she didn't think she had anything to hide. She hadn't been paying attention to social media for a while or checking her accounts.
She noticed that Brittany had fallen silent and wondered why, then she realized that there was an old picture of Santana and a pretty, blue-eyed girl who was clinging to her, the Latina's arm settled around the taller, model-like girl's waist in a very couple-like pose on the screen.
Elaine Bauer's hair was long and a light auburn shade, her skin almost as pale and freckled as Brittany's and her body type very similar to the blonde's. Both girls were red-faced and laughing together, clearly drunk.
The girl was a dancer Santana had met in college on her cheerleading team and briefly dated. Her features and body type, even her mischievous sense of humour and preppy style had reminded her so much of Brittany, that Santana hadn't been able to resist giving in to the comfort Elaine offered while it lasted, even if it was barely a short fling between them.
Santana instantly felt a sharp pain in her chest when she glanced toward Brittany and saw the girl's heartbroken facial expression.
She cursed herself for not thinking to delete the picture but she hadn't expected to be hanging around Brittany again anytime in the near future since the breakup. She didn't know why she felt so guilty.
"Oh." Was all the blonde got out in a pained voice.
Tears came to Brittany's eyes and stung, her throat dry and painful. She was feeling a lot like she had that one awful day when Santana was talking about an "energy exchange" - whatever that meant - with some college girl she felt an attraction to and Brittany's whole world felt like it was falling apart the instant she heard those words. All of her insecurities rose up in her, just like they were now.
Santana was trying to deflect from it now to spare her feelings but Brittany knew better and she knew what that look on Santana's face meant when she was beside that girl in the photo. She knew Santana's body language like the back of her hand.
"Britt, it's - I just-" She was so flustered and overwhelmed by her thoughts that it was difficult to find the words but she hated seeing Brittany so crushed. They'd been doing so well together since their friendship or whatever they had together restarted and now Santana felt she had ruined it by being an idiot.
"It's okay. You hooked up with that girl, right?" A small, weak smile came to Brittany's lips that looked incredibly forced. Santana noticed the way her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She looked and sounded as if she was about to cry. "I know. I know you. We were broken up. You don't have to feel guilty if you were into her."
"Brittany." Santana mumbled. She wanted to deny it when she saw the look on Brittany's face but it would be wrong to lie to the girl. It would be useless anyway when she could see through it. She had no idea what to say but she couldn't handle the sight of Brittany halfway in tears, especially knowing it was her fault.
The blonde shook her head, letting out a forced, mirthless laugh as Santana watched her with concern, her eyes that same dull blue shade, barely concealing her sadness. Santana froze, realizing that she had never seen such a pained and utterly heartbroken look on the girl's face, other than when they broke up.
"No, you really don't have to explain yourself to me. It's really okay. We can just forget it." Brittany forced a smile.
"But it's not okay. I know you well enough to know when your smiles and laughs aren't real. You're clearly upset. I know you want me to think you're totally cool with it and fine but-"
Brittany waved her off with another forced laugh and Santana winced, feeling like she had somehow made everything go wrong.
She felt like such a fool and Brittany was feeling the same about herself.
"Don't worry. I'm being stupid. It's just the pregnancy hormones making me act all weird and weepy emotional."
Before Santana could question her further, Brittany practically disappeared from the room at lightning speed, mentioning something about having to go help her mom with laundry downstairs. Santana flopped onto the bed, sighing heavily and pounding her fist into the mattress in frustration.
Santana knew that Brittany had always been the type to repress her most painful emotions or try to deflect from them until they were too much for her to handle. The pregnancy mood swings were clearly taking the blonde on an emotional rollercoaster and Santana felt bad for her. That wasn't Brittany's fault and it wasn't something she could entirely control.
Guilt was rising up in her, even if she technically hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't know why but even though they weren't dating, she desperately wanted Brittany to understand that whatever happened with those other girls when they were broken up wasn't anything comparable to what Santana and Brittany had together before.