Chapter 5: Going Natural
Stanley and Xev stayed well back, Yoda by Xev's side, and watched as Kai finished inspecting the moth. Kai jumped down and returned to where they were waiting.
"The moth is too damaged to fly," he said, "but the comm system still works. You can use it to talk to 790. I will walk back to the Lexx and retrieve another moth."
Stanley shook his head. "No way! I'm not going anywhere near that moth while it's sitting partway in the water."
Xev nodded her head in silent agreement.
"For all we know," Stanley added, "there could be something else in that pond. Am I right, Yoda?"
"They do in pairs usually live, yes," agreed Yoda. "For breeding."
"See? Is there any way we can move the moth into the middle of the clearing? Maybe tie a rope or something to it, and pull it out?"
"First, we have no rope," replied Kai. "And second, it's too heavy to drag out of the mud."
"Fear not," said Yoda. "Move it for you I will." Yoda looked around at the others.
"Oh right, because you're bigger and stronger than the rest of us," snorted Stanley.
"Bigger? Clearly not. Stronger? Physically not. But in the ways of the Force? A master I am," replied an undeterred Yoda.
"The Force? Never heard of it," responded Stanley.
"No?" said Yoda, surprised. Stanley simply shook his head. "A long way away you must come."
"We are from the Light universe," replied Kai. "We had thought we would die there. Instead, we ended up here, in this universe; a universe previously unknown to even His Divine Shadow."
"This Shadow I know not," declared Yoda. "Later, we talk. Move the moth, I will."
Yoda closed his eyes and raised a hand, reaching out with the Force. He could feel the outline of the living things around him, except Kai who showed up as an empty space in the Force. He located the moth and built up an image. He imagined the moth as being no larger than a small toy he could hold in his hand, and lifted carefully. Peripherally, he could hear the sound of gasps from both Xev and Stanley, which he ignored to maintain focus. Yoda turned as he slowly guided the moth along before gently setting it down. He opened his eyes, and was rewarded with the sight of the moth now standing in the center of the clearing, water dripping, bite and tear marks clearly showing.
Kai simply observed what happened with narrowed eyes.
"That's amazing!" whispered Xev, eyes wide with wonder, hardly daring to breathe.
"Oh come on! You must have hidden some lifters on it ahead of time," Stanley exclaimed, and stomped over to the moth to examine it.
"Learn, he cannot," Yoda said to Xev. "But you—strong with the Force you are. In the Academy, you should have been. Learn the ways of the Force, you would. A Jedi, you could have been. Too old now to teach. Very sad."
"Okay…" replied Xev, not sure what Yoda was talking about.
"Is he saying I could be trained to do that?" Xev wondered. "And what did he mean, too old? "
"Hey! I'm not that old," she said aloud.
Further thoughts were interrupted by Kai. "I will now return to the Lexx. Will they be safe here?" he pointedly asked Yoda.
"Yes. Away from that pond they must stay, and safe they will be. Another, smaller pond that way.…"
Yoda used his cane to point southwest.
"…Is safe for both drinking and swimming. Stay with them, I will, until your return."
"Good," said Kai with a small nod. "It will be one or two days before I am able to return, depending on the terrain. Take care, Xev."
"See you soon," she replied with a hesitant wave. She watched as Kai walked east until he disappeared into the trees.
"Well I can't see anything," said Stanley as he returned from the moth. "Where's Kai?"
"He's walking back to the Lexx. He should be back with another moth in a day or two."
"A day or two? Well that's just great." Stanley swatted at another biting fly. The humid air and heat from the sun was starting to get to him.
"Is it always this damp around here?"
"Oh no," replied Yoda. "The dry season, this is. In the wet season, fog everywhere and almost no break from rain."
"It just gets better and better," Stanley muttered under his breath.
After the earlier attack on the moth, Xev had not really been planning to swim anytime soon. But Stanley was getting on her nerves, and a swim—or at least the threat of one—seemed like a good way to keep him at bay.
"Can you show me the good pond?" she abruptly asked Yoda.
"Of course," replied Yoda with a dip of his head. He turned and began to walk towards the southwest, Xev beside him.
Stanley folded his arms in disapproval and stood beside the damaged moth, watching, muttering under his breath, until Xev and Yoda vanished among the trees. Then he suddenly realized he was quite alone on a strange planet with a monster big enough to eat him living nearby in the Big Bad Pond, as he now thought of it.
"Hey! Wait for me!" Stanley called, and went running after Xev and Yoda.
Even in dry season, Dagobah was a wet place and they didn't have far to go—no more than a few minutes walk before coming to another pond. Yoda reached out with the Force just to be sure.
"A good pond this is," Yoda declared with a wave of his hand.
Tall grass grew in a sunny patch close to the edge. Xev walked over to a tree with a convenient horizontal branch. Her boots were back in the clearing beside the moth; she had not felt the need to put them back on. The grass was soft and warm under her feet.
"You sure about this, Xev?" Stanley asked as he came up behind them. He nervously eyed the small pond.
By way of answer, Xev quickly pulled her dress over her head and tossed it onto the branch before coolly turning to face Stanley wearing nothing but a cluster lizard thong, her hands on her hips, with a cocked head and arched eyebrow. Then she pulled off her thong and tossed it to Stanley, who caught it automatically.
"Have a souvenir," she said with aggravated disdain.
Stanley took a step backwards, surprised. It was one thing to stumble across Xev in the buff, but never before had she stripped off right in front of him, and she did it without a hint of hesitation. It was unnerving. It was difficult not to stare at her perfect breasts, or follow the perfect skin of her flat tummy down to the love slave mark at her navel, then on to her hips and the eye-catching, small red triangular patch of pubic hair that pointed like an arrow to her smooth, hair-free labia.
It was all very deliberate, Stanley told himself as he tried to be clinical about it. Xev didn't ask to be bio-sculpted. She didn't choose her hair color. In the same way he no longer needed to shave, she didn't need to shave her pits, her legs or groom her pubes because undesirable hair follicles were simply gone. It was all part of the love slave package—aesthetic choices that, even if she liked them, were nevertheless imposed against her will. Knowing all that didn't help. He still badly wanted her.
With an effort, he looked away as he stuffed the thong in a pocket. "Okay, well, if you need me, I'll be in the moth," he said, voice pitched slightly higher than normal while pointing behind him with his thumb.
"Wait!" Xev called out as he started to turn away. He stopped and turned back.
Xev walked over to him, her dress in hand and held it out. "While you're at it, take this with you too," she said gently. "Please."
"Really?" Stanley said.
He was quite taken aback. It was one thing for Xev to get naked with clothes nearby and available at a moment's notice. Sending her clothes away was true commitment. He could never do that. He didn't have the nerve.
The thought of Xev surrendering control of her clothes and frolicking like a naked woodland nymph doing who knows what made Stanley's heart thump harder. He was also impressed and quite touched that Xev was willing to trust him. Sadly, it also meant he was in the "friend zone." That's not where he wanted to be.
Xev grinned. "It's for safekeeping. I'm not real keen on the idea of giving up my clothes, but it did occur to me that my dress is made of skin. After what happened to the moth, I don't want some creature running off with it as a snack."
"Ah, I see. Good thinking," Stanley said as he accepted the dress. He was rather disappointed Xev was simply being practical instead of becoming his imagined naughty woodland nymph.
"Just as long as you don't become the snack," he added, both as a warning and to clear his jumbled thoughts.
Stanley jerkily turned around and walked away with as much dignity as the undergrowth would allow. As he disappeared, Xev could hear a slap followed by an "Ow!" as Stanley swatted at yet another biting fly.
"Fear not. In this place, safe you will be," Yoda reassured her with a nod.
Xev could tell that, unlike Stanley, her body was of no interest to Yoda. The absence of sexual tension was a welcome relief. For once in her life, she could relax her guard and be herself. There was a feeling of great age and wisdom from Yoda—that was part of it—but also, she guessed, his disinterest had to do with not being the same species.
Still, she didn't feel like having company just now.
"Would you mind looking after Stanley? I think I'd like to be alone for a little while," Xev said softly.
Yoda gave a bow and walked away, trailing after Stanley.
Xev stepped forward until she stood in the sunny grassy patch, stretched out her arms, threw back her head and closed her eyes. Listening, she could hear life all around her: small animals calling out greetings, territorial challenges, mating calls. The sunlight was warm on her body, and a light breeze she had not noticed before caressed her skin.
This is so, so much better than being cooped up on a spaceship, she thought.
She opened her eyes and looked at the pond, began to step forward, then hesitated. Unbidden, the image of that creature rushing out of the water with frightening speed and attacking the moth came rushing back. She abruptly sat in the grass and curled up in a fetal position. At least the grass was warm and soft, and the sunlight felt inviting.
I'll try again in a few minutes, she thought to herself.
Exhausted from the shocks of the day, Xev soon fell fast asleep.
Xev woke up with a start. Hours had gone by. It was now late afternoon; the sun would be setting soon. She stretched, sat up in the grass, and looked around sleepily, a piece of dry grass sticking out of her disarrayed hair, and a few other pieces randomly sticking to her body as well. Brushing them away left red pressure marks that would soon fade.
Wow, I really needed that nap, she thought.
She stood up and looked at the pond. It would be dark soon. If she didn't go swimming now, it would have to wait until tomorrow. If she waited until tomorrow, Xev wasn't sure if she would ever have the courage to go swimming. Steeling up her nerve, Xev let out a yell that was part human, part cluster lizard, charged the water at full speed and dove in.
The shock of the water fully woke her up, and it felt wonderful. Perhaps it was the cluster lizard in her, or perhaps it something about this place, but she simply couldn't say when she ever felt this alive. She swam around the pond, alternating between resting as quietly as possible on her back as if weightless in space, to flipping over and diving down to swim along the bottom until her lungs felt ready to burst, then push off from the bottom to surface as fast as she could, pretending she was a fish attempting to leap out of the water. She swam round and round as fast as she could, until, with a final burst of energy, she shot up onto the bank and flopped over onto her back, out of breath looking at the tree canopy above her.
Somehow this gave her the giggles, and she lay helpless, breathing deep and laughing, finally shedding tensions she hadn't realized were eating at her, from the Mantrid drones back in the Light universe, to the moth-eating monster in the big pond.
It was funny, she reflected, as she lay on the bank recovering. Here she had been, afraid of the water. Now it seemed swimming was all she wanted to do. She didn't want to get up, go back to the moth—any of that. Just lie here by this pond, existing in the moment without a care. But the sun was setting, Stanley would be worried, and she knew he wouldn't stop bugging Yoda about her absence. It dawned on Xev that without city lights, it would soon be too dark to see and she didn't have a light source.
With great reluctance, Xev got up and carefully walked back into the water, this time to rinse off sand and mud. That done, she stood quietly for another minute, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of life all around her. Finally, she slowly waded out. With a light heart, she headed back, humming a little tune.
Twilight turned to dusk as Xev approached the moth clearing. A flickering light up ahead acted as her guide as she carefully picked her way through the deepening dark to the clearing edge. She could see Stanley and Yoda had a fire going, with fish skewered on sticks over the flames.
Her goal had been to check the moth for her clothes, figuring that's where Stanley had stashed them, but the aroma of cooking fish hit Xev hard. She had not realized how hungry she was until now. She hesitated, then decided clothes could wait. Xev made a beeline for the fire.
"That smells so good!" she said. She sat down in front of the fire with her legs crossed.
"Oh hi Xev," said Stanley, acting suspiciously aloof and casual.
That got Xev's attention. Stanley was trying to play it cool! That was out of character. He should have make some snarky comment when she sat down naked. That could only mean one thing: he hoped to play a game of delay and not return her clothes when asked. "I'm busy with this right now. Can it wait?" she imagined Stanley saying. Then another excuse, then another.
Well, two could play that game. Her initial impulse of going for her clothes first had simply been out of habit, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized there was no rush. It was just them on this planet for one thing, and cluster lizard skin wasn't light weight.
Xev had become hot and sticky within minutes of landing in the clearing. That had been her motivation for a swim. In this damp heat, she was actually more comfortable naked, particularly now that she was seated by the fire.
Xev smiled to herself. Time was on her side. The longer she delayed, the more stressed Stanley would become. Eventually he would be the one begging her to put her clothes on.
"Are those ready?" Xev asked, pointing at the sizzling fish.
"Not yet. That's actually a second round," said Stanley. "Here's some cooked ones."
He handed over a stick with two fish. Xev touched the first fish, decided it was cool enough to hold in her hands, pulled it off the stick and began to eat, carefully pulling meat off delicate bones with her teeth. After months of eating the blue-green glop Lexx provided as "food," this fish, Xev decided, was the most wonderful thing she had ever eaten—a perfect end to a perfect afternoon.
Xev quickly finished her first fish, and started in on the second.
"Where did this come from?" Xev asked between bites, holding up the fish.
Stanley pointed into the dark. "The Big Bad pond," he said.
Xev couldn't believe her ears. "You fished the Big Bad pond?"
"No, Yoda fished the Big Bad pond." Stanley waved his hand to Yoda in acknowledgment.
"He's got a real knack for it, plus he says he can tell when Bride of the Big Bad Monster is nearby."
Xev perked up and looked over at Yoda. "You can tell when Bride of… when the other creature in the pond is near? Is that a Force thing?"
"It is, yes," replied Yoda. He waved his arm in an arc to take in the night sky.
"Energy field is the Force, created by all living things. Surrounds us, it does; penetrates us. Bound by the Force is the galaxy. Gives a Jedi his power, the Force does."
"What's a Jedi?" Xev asked, fascinated. She finished eating the second fish and tossed the bones onto the fire. A small rush of sparks swirled up past the cooking fish.
"A student of the Jedi Order, a Jedi is… or was. Fought for peace and justice, the Jedi Order did. Any species, a Jedi could be, if strong in the Force they were. Studied, served, and used the Force for good, a Jedi did. All gone now, the Jedi are. Betrayed the Jedi were, by the Emperor when power he seized. Terrible purge it was. Many Jedi killed; even the younglings. All but a very few remain, who into exile went."
"An Emperor seizing power? Betrayals and purges?" Stanley said quietly. "You know, your Emperor is starting to sound a whole lot like our Divine Shadow, who gained control over the League of Twenty Thousand Planets over two thousand years ago. For a long time, only the Ostral-B Heretics fought against His Shadow. I was once Ostral-B myself, until I was captured."
"Oh? Rebels you were?" said Yoda, who nodded his understanding.
He poked at the fire with a stick, then pointed to the fish and turned his stick in a circle while looking at Stanley. Stanley got the message. He reached out, grasped the skewer and carefully turned over the cooking fish.
"The Lexx," Stanley said, as he continued his story, "was grown on the Cluster, capital of the League of Twenty Thousand Planets, and the power base for His Shadow. The Lexx is the most powerful weapon of mass destruction ever created in the Light and Dark universes, capable of destroying entire planets in a single blast. His Shadow planned to use it to wipe out all remaining resistance.
"But then, with help from Ostral-B Heretics we managed to steal the Lexx, and eventually helped Kai fulfill his prophecy; that as the last of the Brunnen-G he would defeat His Shadow."
The fire popped and shifted, spilling pieces of charcoal. Yoda took this time to consider Stanley's words as he used the stick to push glowing coals back into the fire.
"Long the Emperor has desired such a weapon," he said darkly. "Old, my information is, but rumor there has been of such plans. Perhaps under construction, it may be."
Xev and Stanley looked at each other, surprised. Another Lexx?
Then Xev realized she had another need, and she could use this moment to increase pressure on Stanley.
"Gotta go pee," she announced as she stood, checked to see if Stanley was watching, then brushed off her bare bottom with more vigor than necessary.
"Back in a minute," she said cheerily. With that, she paraded off behind Stanley towards the edge of the clearing with exaggerated hip motion.
Stanley turned to watch her go, heart thumping noticeably, guiltily admiring the view. She really did have an amazing body. He had expected—hoped, really—that Xev would demand her clothes back first thing. Then he could drag it out. Now that would have been fun.
Then he understood: that's what he would have done. He should have known better. Why did he think the person who sometimes prowled the Lexx naked would be in a hurry to get her clothes back? He found it all very intimidating.
Stanley shook his head and turned back to Yoda. "So your Emperor is building a planet killer too?"
"My Emperor, he is not," replied Yoda. "But if being built it is, then close to ready it must be. A cycle or three longer perhaps—no more." Yoda poked at the fire with his stick.
Xev returned, but instead of walking behind Stanley as before, she turned, back to the fire, then moved sideways, passing between Stanley and the fire, taking her time. She aggressively violated his personal space as she carefully stepped over Stanley's legs, her crotch slowly bobbing by at eye level. Stanley stared, then quickly looked away. His distress amused Xev to no end as she sat back down.
"Are those fish ready?" Xev asked quite innocently.
It took Stanley a moment to recover. "What? Oh, right. Let me check." He gave the fish a closer look, and took them off the fire.
"They're done. Just need to cool off."
Stanley steadied his nerves and handed the stick to Xev, who began to blow and nibble at the first fish while it was still on the stick.
"Oh!" Xev said with an exaggerated jiggle. "That's hot!" She surreptitiously glanced at Stanley to see if he was paying attention. He was.
Yoda gazed into the fire, lost in his own thoughts.
"Your Lexx," he said. "Fall into the Emperor's hands, it must not. What might he, with two planet destroyers, do?"
Xev and Stanley looked at each other, horrified, their power struggle momentarily forgotten.
"Well we won't let that happen," declared Stanley. "We can always go somewhere else, at least after the Lexx finishes feeding. That's the problem with a living ship; it has to eat. Which reminds me—it's eating in this direction. I need to angle the Lexx so it won't come here."
Yoda's eyes widened.
"Oh don't worry, Kai will be back with another moth long before the Lexx gets anywhere near. Then he can take us back to the Lexx and I can order it to turn."
"Something big that way, I knew," said Yoda, pointing east with his stick. "But what it was, I did not. Must eat, all living things do; this I understand. But do turn the Lexx as soon as possible."
Xev, finally sated, pulled the eaten fish carcass off the stick and tossed it into the fire. She offered the remaining fish to Yoda, who turned it down. She offered it to Stanley.
"Yeah, I could eat another one," he said, holding out his hand, eyes cast down, not looking directly at Xev.
Ah, there it is, thought Xev. It won't be long now.
The joy of making Stanley a nervous wreck, along with a good meal, simply added to a feeling of euphoria that first began as she communed with nature, naked in the sun, eyes closed, feeling the breeze. In her euphoria, Xev felt a strong connection to the natural world around her. Now she didn't want to go back to routine and put on her clothes for fear of breaking that spell.
It was irrational of course. Yoda was clothed and he was connected to nature, or the Force, but he had years of training and experience to draw on. Yoda said she was strong with the Force, but perhaps as an untrained person she needed some trigger like surrendering her clothes to make the connection.
Xev shook her head. All of that assumed she really was feeling a connection to the Force, and not just floating on an endorphin high. Either way, she wanted that feeling to last as long as possible. By morning, she was sure she would be back to her old self.
Xev bumped the stick in Stanley's hand so he would know it was there. He grabbed hold and focused hard on the fish.
"You know Stanley," she said, "We can go somewhere else, but really, that's just running away. The Ostral-B Heretics were up against overwhelming odds, and they ultimately.…"
Stanley had closed his eyes.
Well that won't do, Xev thought.
"Hello? Stanley! Over here!" she called, getting Stanley to look at her once again.
"I said the Ostral-B Heretics ultimately lost. But here, we can make a difference. We have the Lexx. Why don't we join the rebels? Even things up?"
"Oh no, I don't think we should get involved in local politics," Stanley said, glad to have something to think about.
"Terrible it would be," Yoda said, "If both sides planet destroyers used. So much hate. So much suffering. Only leads to more hate and suffering, it does. No end to destruction. Death in the trillions, it would be."
"Well, there's got to be some way we can help," said Xev. "Maybe we should sleep on it."
Xev stretched, shook herself, and lay down on her side, one arm tucked under her head, facing the fire, as comfortable as a cat. Without a thought, she idly scratched her bottom where a small twig had left an impression. Then she noticed this had Stanley's attention. She switched to rubbing her bottom in a slow circular motion.
Stanley stared, heart pounding, fish momentarily forgotten. She looked like a goddess in the firelight. Stanley closed his eyes with effort.
"So. Xev. Ah, anything you need?" he asked, voice cracking slightly.
"No," she said, pleased with herself. She had just won the holdout game.
Take that, Stanley, she thought.
In the radiant warmth of the fire, she closed her eyes. Now she just wanted to be left in peace.
"Anything at all?" Stanley persisted.
Xev's only response was to wriggle into a better position. Go away, was her last thought as she drifted off to sleep.
"Terrific," Stanley muttered to himself.
Xev, he assumed, must have overheard, because he noticed a little smile on her face.
Okay, that was it. Stanley jumped up and stormed off to the moth, fuming. As he stood there, he felt a sharp pain on his arm. Stanley slapped, and saw a biting fly fall to the ground, stunned, wings twitching. He jumped up and down on the fly, grinding it into the mud.
"It's not fair," he complained to the world at large. "I swear, this place likes her!" He turned and looked back at the fire a little distance away.
"Why am I letting her drive me away," he muttered. "I should stand up to her. It's my fire too! I built it!"
Well actually, Yoda started the fire, Stanley imagined the moth telling him.
"I helped! I collected the firewood! Most of it. Some of it," he said back to the moth.
He stood there for a few more minutes, breathing deep, until he calmed down. He opened the moth, looked in at Xev's dress, and considered what to do next.
Stanley had made a mistake. On this planet, Xev wasn't obliged to wear clothes, and she already liked to show herself. What he should have done was to have fetched her clothes the moment she came out of the woods, no waiting for her to ask. Just hand them over.
If this dragged on too long, she might get it in her head to stay naked. That wouldn't do. He should return her clothes now and hope for the best.
He grabbed her dress and walked back to the fire. Stanley was about to speak when he realized Xev was sound asleep. Yoda had taken his cue from Xev and was curled up asleep as well.
Stanley stood there, debating. There was no way the flies would let him sleep in the open, and since Xev seemingly didn't care, he had half a mind to take her clothes back to the moth and use them as a pillow. Then again, if she woke up before he did without her clothes readily available, she might assume their battle of wits was on-going and carry on naked long after getting her clothes back.
As she would likely wake up first, Stanley decided to leave her clothes where she would find them in the morning. As for Xev's concern about an animal running off with her clothes... well, fire kept animals at bay. If he put them right there, between herself and the fire, that should keep them safe. And bonus: she was facing the fire, so when she woke up in the morning, she would see her clothes first thing. Problem solved.
He folded her dress, leaned over and quietly set it down in front of her. He straightened it up and brushed out a couple of wrinkles. Then he took the thong out of his pocket and laid it on top. Satisfied, he stood up, silently wished Xev a good night, then quietly retreated to the safety of the moth for the night.
A couple of hours after Stanley was asleep, the unattended fire popped as a larger branch collapsed, sending a swirl of sparks into the air. Bright red coals fell out, bumping up against Xev's dress, with one or two smaller pieces landing directly on top. About thirty minutes after that, a tiny curl of smoke rose up. This was soon followed by another curl of smoke, and then another.