Winter of the White Wolf: Post S1 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

by KLeCrone

While Bucky would prefer to believe that his time as the Winter Soldier is long behind him, strange dreams and the shadows of missing memories prompt him to explore where the Winter Soldier ends and the White Wolf begins... This story dives into the bonds of friendship, the aftermath of betrayal, and includes a lively mix of banter, action, angst, and globe-trotting adventure.

91. Refraction and Recalibration

I'm excited to dive into Act 13 of this story as we turn the page into the aftermath of what was supposed to be an entirely uneventful hour in Symkaria…

In tandem with this update, I painted a gouache illustration of Barnes to coincide with this angsty chapter, and I also have the immense pleasure of sharing a painting by Sam (Hail_Hawkeye) that he created to accompany an especially poignant scene from a prior chapter. The full paintings and further links and information about them can be found below the prose for this chapter.

Please check out this chapter on Archive of Our Own to see the art and links to everyone's social media!

Simply search for: "KLeCrone Ao3 Winter of the White Wolf"

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Winter of the White Wolf

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Chapter 91 - Refraction and Recalibration

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Summary:

In the aftermath of a tense pursuit and interrogation, Barnes, Sam, and the Wakandans reconvene to get to the bottom of what happened, and to determine their next steps…

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Although the midnight death march to Symkaria's nearest secret Wakandan safehouse was mercifully uneventful, the stagnant silence hanging across their shared comms had a way of gnawing at Sam's already raw nerves.

A half a block back, M'yra had signed off to continue her research and reconnaissance on what Sam was guessin' was a Dora Milaje priority channel. Her departure signaled a change in the wind that stilled the audio feed, leaving it eerily empty of conversation, and a stark shift from the rapidfire exchanges that'd torn holes in the channel during their impromptu cross-city chase.

The dim, run-down streets of Aniana were spotted with shadowed figures, and Sam felt the dreary ambiance of their surroundings in his bones while he kept pace beside Barnes. Ayo led the way just beyond Barnes's far shoulder, threading the three of them through sidewalks and alleyways like a maze on the back of an old newspaper. The wind swirling around his bare hands and the impending sense of dread sent him straight back to when he was half his height, weaving his way through the trees and around fences on his way home well after dark. That last stretch to his doorstop felt like an eternity when you knew you were hours past curfew, and your folks were waitin' up to give you an earful about how worried sick they'd been.

It wasn't a perfect comparison, but it was the closest thing Sam had to the swell of complicated post-cardio feelings he was wrestlin' with now, 'cept it was Barnes beside him who was droop-tailed and makin' his way to the doghouse with that sullen expression of his like he knew the drill all-too-well.

To be fair, Ayo hadn't so much as raised her voice a single decibel to get their local cyborg interrogator to fall into line. She didn't need to. Barnes stayed hunched over in that sunken place like he knew what was comin' and planned to roll over and accept whatever punishment was headed his way. And he might not've known it, but the sight shared more'n a passing resemblance to how utterly broken Buck'd looked not even a week ago when Ayo'd taken off the kid gloves and gave him a verbal lashing for the ages about Zemo, Madripoor, and a host of other fine-tuned trespasses she'd kept bottled up in that tightly controlled poise of hers. While neither of them made mention of it out loud — particularly around their present company — Sam would'a bet his wings Ayo was sharin' some of the same painfully tangled thoughts as he was, and just as few answers.

Strictly speaking, the debilitating silence was still preferable to any number of grisly alternatives they might've been faced with had things gone down differently. It wasn't a foregone conclusion to say that Barnes could've opted for a different path forward in his interrogation, leaving his hostage dead or broken, and if Ayo hadn't chosen to disable the electrical node, it was entirely possible the debilitating current might've incapacitated Barnes and offered his armed hostage an opportunity to land a potentially deadly counterattack.

The vivid possibilities and 'what ifs' were anything but comforting, and Sam's traitorous mind turned a corner and decided it had nothing better to do than to toss out an increasingly awful list of what could go wrong like an unsupervised child tossin' stale breadcrumbs towards a flock of starved seagulls.

Namely: now that the electrical node on Barnes shoulder was outright disabled, if he decided he didn't want to stick around, or his brain went on the fritz and saw red, there wasn't an awful lot any of them could do, short of some some particularly dire maneuvers Sam didn't want to linger on more than absolutely necessary.

The unbalanced weight of the firearm in his pocket didn't help matters any, regardless of the fact that it wasn't loaded.

So much for a little sightseeing to stretch their legs after that eventful flight over from Wakanda.

It took them another dozen painfully drawn-out minutes for Ayo to lead them to what must've been an alley side entrance to their undercover safe house. The dilapidated brick building was as nondescript as they came, but the grungy, paint-peeled door clicked and gave way the moment Ayo put her hand near the knob like some sorta proximity locking mechanism. No pleasant door chime greeted them from the other side, but as Ayo motioned first Sam and then Barnes inside, he'd place his bets that they were all prolly gettin' some manner of advanced full-body scans as they passed through the threshold, up to and including the slim contents still swirlin' around in Sam's stomach.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected to see just inside, but he was met with the view of a black metal stairwell with worn tile steps that'd seen better days. The corners connected to short hallways ending with numbered doors and mismatched doormats. Sam couldn't tell if the units were occupied or not, but he had his suspicions the whole building was prolly owned and rent controlled by the Wakandans and their allies behind-the-scenes. For all he knew: they might'a kept a wary footprint here for decades.

Rather than spend precious air inquiring about how many more'a these they kept tabs on around the globe, Sam kept his trap shut and looked up at the staircase, wonderin' what stories it had to tell while Ayo shut the door behind them. The soft click of the latch prompted a quick wash of interest from an otherwise inscrutable Barnes, who regarded the door intently before looking up and over each shoulder as if he was inspecting the entryway and all its corners for clues, or maybe hidden cameras.

That, or maybe he was feeling a touch claustrophobic and was checkin' around to see if there were any exits short of the way they came. Not that Sam wasn't doin' the same.

Sam tried his best not to cross-compare the lingering bruises across Barnes's cheeks to the glaring marks he remembered from their morning sparring. Maybe it was Sam's imagination, but they looked more prominent under the yellow accent lights.

Without a word, Ayo stepped forward and motioned for them to follow her up the staircase. Barnes didn't put up any objections, and kept pace a step behind her while Sam brought up the rear and the three of them climbed their way to the landing on the fourth floor. After turning the corner, Ayo led the way down a short hallway and slowed her steps as she approached a nondescript wooden door that wouldn't have looked out of place tucked inside a century-old condominium back in D.C.

Unlike the automatic lock on the door outside, this time around Ayo ceremoniously touched a finger to one of her Kimoyo beads before pressing her fingertip against a narrow metal panel just above the door knob that Sam would've otherwise assumed was strictly ornamental. As she waited for the door to unlock, Sam caught wind of her neutral expression, one that remained damn-near inscrutable even for her. When the door clicked open on its own, she beckoned first Sam and then Barnes inside before entering and closing and latching it behind them.

Sam wasn't sure what exactly he'd been expecting, but he was greeted by an oil painting of a forested landscape set against the back of a residential foyer that'd been lined in patterned ivory wallpaper. He honestly wouldn't have been able to piece together that the place had any connection to Wakanda, which was undoubtedly the intent of the facade.

Barnes briefly dipped his eyes to his feet as if he was trying to sort out if he was supposed to remove his shoes like he'd been encouraged to do in that Wakandan suite of theirs, but Ayo wasted no time in leading them forward down a hallway, through another doorway, and into an spacious adjoining living room. The central room and its vaulted ceilings were awash with not only Wakandan decor, but a coffee table and set of couches lined with familiar luggage, duffle bags, and supplies they'd packed before their flight over from Birnin Zana. Tucked within their belongings were not only the black backpack with Barnes's journals, but also the welcome sight of the suitcase containing Sam's flightsuit, Redwing, and JB.

Before he could think to inquire about how everything had gotten there — maybe some help from the local War Dogs, or even one of those handy delivery drones? — Sam caught sight of a kitchen table just around the corner where someone'd set up a makeshift battlestation of tech. Seated just behind it was none other than Princess Shuri herself, flanked by the stalwart figures of Yama and Nomble, still dressed to the nines in their greyscale undercover wardrobe. At some point Nomble must've removed her braided wig, but Yama's head was wrapped in the same knitted grey cap as when Sam'd last seen her. They might've been all business, but Sam was relieved to see 'em.

"You made it!" Shuri abruptly got to her feet and her sharp brown eyes took inventory of Barnes as she rushed towards them wearing a set of eyeglasses Sam couldn't recall seeing before. Maybe it was part of her disguise or somethin'? Whatever the reason, Yama and Nomble darted into motion next to her, keeping the princess safe between their shoulders. Shuri glanced between Ayo and Sam as she crossed the tile, but before anyone said another word, one after another, all three Dora Milaje extended their limbs to politely halt Shuri from coming within ten feet of Barnes. While no one drew any words or weapons, their opposite hands lingered close by the compressed vibranium cylinders housing their spears, wary of the first sign of danger.

Yama might've also made some shapes with her fingers. But if she did, the words were too quick to catch, and prolly weren't meant for Sam anyway.

The Dora's reactions were smooth as they were elegant, showing a remarkable shared awareness of the elephant in the room that earmarked Barnes's recent behavior as a call for concern. It didn't mean he had it out for Shuri, certainly, but with that node on his shoulder deactivated altogether, it was sensible to take precautions.

Sam could tell from the way Barnes's feet abruptly came to a halt that he'd immediately picked up on the change in tone. He went so far as to take a cautionary step back so there was some extra breathing room between him, Ayo, and the princess. From this angle, Sam might not'a been able to get a clear read on more than a sliver of Ayo's expression, but he had a firsthand view of Shuri's. Her intense brown eyes flickered between the three of them before settling squarely on Barnes, who flinched reflexively and braced for her next words.

Before Sam could run numbers on how the next thirty seconds might play out, the Wakandan Princess shifted her weight onto her other heel and leveled, "You're going to tell me all about what happened after I have a look at your shoulder, now come here."

…Of all the things Shuri could have led with, that… hadn't made it to the top twenty. Sam was certain the stark confusion he saw on Barnes's face must've been mirrored on his own as Shuri stepped smack into the middle of the 'safe' distance the three Dora had cordoned off. She moved forward without a drop of hesitation and pointedly added, "Jacket and shirt. Take them both off. Let us have a look at the damage."

There was a world where Barnes might've stubbornly objected, or at the very least drawn things out and taken his time, but instead he immediately sought out the zipper along the bottom of his reinforced dark blue jacket like it was a time trial. What should have been an easy task was complicated by the fact that his fingers didn't seem to be as steady they usually were, so he rapidly changed up his approach and used his thumb and pinky finger to draw the zipper open, peeling the jacket off his shoulders one arm at a time in spite of the slight tremble in his hands that Sam he'd keyed into until just now.

Shuri saw it too. He was sure of it.

Once Barnes had the offending jacket in-hand, it was clear he wasn't entirely sure what to do with it absent a command. Courtesy of a nod from Ayo, Yama stepped forward and took it from him, folding the navy blue jacket in half and laying it over the top of the nearest sofa while the lot of them pretended they didn't notice the blue, black, and gold Wakandan shawl sticking out of the back pocket of his pants. The tension in the room was palpable, in fact if Sam were being honest, he was so busy watching the exchange of hands, garments, and a dozen nervous eyes trying to mind-read, that it took him half a beat to realize that the sweaty grey undershirt Barnes was wearing had a dark stain across the left shoulder. On second glance, not stained: burned. Charred black like burnt toast.

He didn't just see it, he could smell it. Foul and acrid, like overheated cooking oil that had begun to smoke.

Ayo caught it too, rapidly turning her attention to locate the source of the offending odor. The stern neutral expression she'd been struggling to maintain momentarily folded into itself with a fresh wave of concern as Barnes wasted no time in tucking his fingers under the lower hem of his shirt to pull the discolored undershirt up and over his head with not a drop of hesitation.

Buck, well… It was fair to say Buck was a touch more bodyshy on account of what Sam assumed was credit to the arm, surgical grafts, and scars. He'd take his shirt off if they were going to head into the water, but he was quick to towel off and toss it back on afterwards in an attempt to dodge the gently probing questions that Cass and AJ sometimes volleyed his way about his scars. Sam knew better than to ask. He was too much of a gentleman to call attention to matters that risked pullin' up thorns from Buck's past. You didn't have to be a Super Soldier or Winter Soldier to know that scars had power.

So seeing just how quick Barnes had snapped to obey Shuri's requests of him… well, it had a way of freshly reminding Sam that they weren't dealin' with the same person. Not exactly. That, and with his shirt off and laid bare as he was, Sam got a firsthand view of all that Barnes'd been hiding from 'em.

While there wasn't a single bullet hole or bloodied slash across his flushed flesh, the scarred area surrounding his left shoulder was flared red and welted in what was at the very least a second degree electrical burn. Angry scartlet arcs stretched out across his skin like lightning strikes frozen in time, each leading their way back to the fulcrum of his shoulder where the electrical node remained latched onto the vibranium plates just where T'Challa'd left it.

The burns must've hurt like hell, and that was just the bits on the surface they could see. And Barnes? He just stood there holding his shirt in one hand with his head dipped low like he was waiting for punishment or whatever came next.

"Jesus man…" Sam found himself saying.

Barnes flinched but he didn't respond, and whatever series of syllables Shuri said next sounded like they must've included some Wakandan curse words. She rapidly rolled her fingers in Yama's direction, supplementing, "Get the medical kit." Yama nodded once and broke from her guard to dart across the room towards their gear while Shuri immediately turned her attention back to Barnes, "Did you know it was this bad?"

Barnes blinked once and pivoted his head to glance sideways at his injured shoulder, "No, but I suspected," he hollowly admitted.

"You should have said something," Ayo insisted, pain edging at the corner of her normally cool and collected voice while Shuri motioned to the nearest chair at the kitchen table a few steps away.

"Sit down sideways on the chair so the top rail of the chair is on your right and your back is open to me. Let us take a look at it in the light."

Barnes did as he was told and sat down, and Ayo and Nomble took up position on either side of him, vigilant for even the smallest sign that he was thinking about acting in a way that ran counter to Shuri's latest request. Which hey? Didn't hurt to be careful, especially since who-knows-what had been goin' on with Barnes's brain. That blazing electric current could'a knocked something loose, and it hadn't even been two hours since Shuri'd admitted that folks at the Design Center had broached the possibility of re-enabling the code words, leaving him a prisoner of his own mind. While that particular topic was a far cry from the present discussion, it was hard to know what exactly was stewing around in that cyborg head of his about now. Friend or not, Sam didn't blame the trained Dora on either side of him for wanting to be particularly careful around their royal charge, all things considered.

Moments later Yama hurried back to the group carrying the case Sam recognized as Shuri's portable regeneration stabilizer, "Do you want me to…?"

"Yes. Work on the more grievous burns first," Shuri rapidly agreed, taking a step closer to Barnes's back to inspect the damage before addressing him again, "Yama will work on mending the wounds around your shoulder and across your back while I see to the node itself."

Barnes laid his hands on his lap and jittered his fingers uncomfortably, like he wasn't sure what to do with 'em, "Did you… want to restrain me?"

More than one back straightened at his unexpected question, but it was Ayo that spoke up first, "Why do you believe it prudent we take such precautions?"

The man seated in front of her chewed his lip, "...I just… I can tell you're nervous."

"Your recent actions have given us fair reason to be," Ayo observed without a drop of heat in her voice. If she debated taking him up on his offer, she kept it to herself, preferring to stay closeby Shuri in a guard's stance without unraveling her spear.

Absent a follow-up command, Barnes stayed still and opted not to debate Ayo's claim as he slowly separated his hands and curled first his empty right hand and then the hand still holding his burned grey shirt around the sides of the chair like they were being bound by invisible shackles.

It wasn't a good look. And yeah, Sam hated the HYDRA-coated undercurrent of where he'd probably learned that party trick too. Sam took a step to the left to get out of Yama's way so she could snap open the case to retrieve the portable regeneration stabilizer, and he stood there wishing there was more he could say or do to help diffuse the thick tension hanging in the room, "How 'bout stay still for the time being?" he advised.

Barnes responded with a dull nod, but managed to catch the corner of Sam's eye. The foundation Nomble'd applied to his cheeks on the flight over to cover up the bruises from this morning's sparring sessions was smudged, revealing the mottled and discolored skin beneath. His steel blue eyes were sullen. Distant. Defeated. Even a hint scared. While a lot might'a been up in the air, Sam didn't doubt that Barnes knew he'd fucked-up bigtime.

Unfortunately Sam didn't have the magic words to set the clock back.

Sam caught movement just behind Barnes where Yama stood fine-tuning some dials on that advanced medical device that looked straight outta sci-fi. Her expression was tightly focused, but Sam'd been around her long enough to know she was juggling the complexities of this situation just like the rest of 'em. Rather than offer a play-by-play of the procedure, she cut to the chase, "I've adjusted the settings to help temper the pain of the burn and prevent infection while I work. It may sting a bit, but it should be far more tolerable than the needle and thread we've known together." Receiving no objection from her patient, she lifted the device, toggled it on, and got to work.

Barnes didn't flinch, but that acrid smell coming up off his shoulder twisted into something halfway between brimstone and human barbecue, and Sam had to take a step back to catch a mouthful of fresher air. If it wasn't for the tension in the room, he might'a considered turning on the vent above the stove to help air things out.

Shuri spared a glance at the settings Yama'd chosen on the medical device and must'a been satisfied because she turned her attention to a new vibranium-augmented holographic menu she called up over her palm. Sam could tell there was an urgency in her calculated movements, and while he couldn't make out the symbols or colored text from this angle, he immediately recognized the red outline of the electrical node her brother had applied to Barnes's shoulder as a contingency after Barnes's little joyride out of the Design Center a few days back.

Shuri rotated the projection between her hands, inspecting it closely. With a frown, she spread her fingers apart to zoom in on the mounting underneath before breaking the digital hologram into smaller parts so she could dive into diagnosing the increasingly fine lines of inner circuitry unlike anything Sam'd ever seen before.

It really was a pity she and Tony hadn't had the opportunity to sit down and talk shop.

While Yama focused on mending the egregious fractaled burns across Barnes's shoulder and back, Shuri paced back and forth in place behind her, shuffling her attention between floating menus with colored symbols and blinking text. After a few more choice selections, she reached down and grasped the node in one hand, but recoiled her fingers, alarmed, "Ikaka! It's hot!" She rapidly blew on the affronted fingers and flailed her other hand in Sam's direction, motioning towards the shirt still in Barnes's nearest hand, "Give me that."

Though Barnes didn't have a good view on what was going on behind him, he was apparently following along closely enough to lift his hand and offer the stained grey shirt to Sam, which he passed to Shuri, and the Wakandan princess promptly wrapped around the electrical node like a makeshift oven mitt. Sam was a step behind what exactly she was planning, but a moment later he heard a soft click and with a twist of her wrist, she popped the gunmetal silver disk off of him wholesale. Without missing a beat, she walked the offending device over to the granite kitchen counter and dumped on a cat-themed trivet. Satisfied, she wiped her hands off on the burnt grey shirt and layed the cloth haphazardly over the top of the nearest chair.

Ten minutes ago Sam was assuming a first order of business — maybe a second — would have been to fix the damn thing, but that had also been assuming it was just an inert vibranium knob. Either way, it didn't look as if the resident genius was planning to focus on repairs just yet. "Mmm?" said genius inquired as Ayo kept watch while her charge stepped back behind Barnes and inspected the location the node had been locked onto the vibranium plating behind his shoulder, "That should help. How bad is the pain now? Be honest with me."

Barnes may have kept his head forward, but his eyes tracked to the location where Shuri'd dropped the node off on the counter. He stayed fixated on it while his eyebrows folded together in confusion over the latest series of events, "The pain…?" he cautiously rolled the question over his tongue. It was like Sam could see the gears turning in his head, "Marginal. It was significantly worse maybe fifteen or twenty minutes ago."

It was some cosmic flavor of reassuring to hear that Sam wasn't the only one suffering through time dilation lately.

"I'm relieved to hear it," Shuri chimed as she pivoted her weight onto the ball of her foot, hovering over Barnes's ailing shoulder while Yama continued her work on the reddened exposed skin just beside her. Apparently Shuri saw fit to ignore the unmistakable nervousness of everyone in her relative proximity as she casually pulled up a matching holographic overlay of the inner workings of Barnes's prosthetic.

Considering that she'd spent significantly less time within arms reach of the man than anyone else here, Sam was more'n a little surprised she was so willing to be within his personal bubble now, especially in the aftermath of everything that had happened. While none of the Dora had their spears out at the ready, they were still visibly on alert to even the slightest change or sign of trouble. Well, at least Ayo and Nomble were. Yama was head-down in her medical business, but her eyes were watching the holographic light playing over Shuri's fingertips like she was trying to follow along. Outta everyone in the room, Yama seemed the least on-edge, and thankfully Barnes was seein' fit to stay still so as to avoid raising anyone's hackles unnecessarily.

Shuri was already off to the races in diagnosing the irregularities with Barnes's vibranium arm, "Mmm, it looks as though it prompted a short with the onboard temperature calibration and fine motor control modularity systems. The self-repair protocols were struggling to compensate due to the competing currents." At that, she took a bead from her strand and pressed over an opening between the plates. As the sphere made contact, it melted like chocolate and slipped in the crack as Shuri added, "The nanites will be able to make the necessary repairs now that they are not in conflict. It shouldn't take more than half an hour."

It was clear from Barnes's intent expression that he was followin' along, but he'd opted to revert back to that submissive rapport where he preferred not to speak unless he was spoken to. The dynamic wasn't a healthy coping mechanism by any stretch, but under the circumstances? Well, Sam knew Barnes certainly could'a chosen worse. He just wished the other man didn't look so painfully distant and defeated. It sent Sam's mind straight back to when the two of them had been playin' at HYDRA Handler and the Winter Soldier on the other side of town.

…Speaking of which… no one had volunteered any exacting details surrounding that particular debacle with Shuri just yet. Ayo'd certainly hinted at the encounter, but under the circumstances he had no doubt the two of them would be headin' over those rapids together about it soon enough. Sam frowned as he stood diagonally in front of Barnes and regarded at the angry red welts surrounding where his metal arm attached to his shoulder and torso, reflectin' back on how much pain Barnes must'a been hiding when he was in hot pursuit of some petty thief that was playin' at the big times, "You could'a said something you know."

His statement drew out a flinch from Barnes that morphed into some manner of meek cyborg apology when he adjusted his neck and met Sam's concerned gaze. Sam didn't have a witty follow-up at the ready, so he just stood there out of the way keepin' an eye on Barnes while Shuri and Yama did their thing. Next to him, Sam could tell by Ayo's expression that she was forcing down any number of follow-up questions in preference to ensuring the princess's continued safety, but Sam knew Wakanda's Chief of Security had words floatin' at the tip of her tongue too.

They all did. Even Barnes, who was seein' fit to keep 'em to himself.

Another measure of awkward silence permeated the room while Shuri adjusted her fancy glasses and reviewed what looked to be a holographic chart concerning the inner-workings of Barnes's arm and complex nervous system it was hooked into. Satisfied — or distracted, it was hard to tell with Shuri — she turned her attention to an area on Barnes's lower back where Yama was working to mend the flesh that'd been singed from from the malfunctioning electrical node. The smell was gettin' better, but only just. He was thinkin' maybe the princess was working her way up to commenting on Yama's progress, but instead she pointed to another spot on his back before stepping to Barnes's right and around Nomble so she could get a better look at Barnes's face.

She positioned herself opposite Sam and Ayo, which Sam suspected was to ensure she could get a good look at the three of 'em all at once. The princess shifted her weight back onto her heel before carefully choosing her words and addressing Barnes, "You must know that I am deeply appreciative of your desire to keep us safe, but you have also made choices that put yourself and others at great risk. Your arm and the damage from the node can all be mended in time, but I worry for the readings we saw in your brain scans. And I think you know more about them than you're letting on."

That there got a hint of a reaction outta Barnes. He stayed locked-in right where he was, but his shoulders visibly tensed and he risked looking up in Shuri's direction before rapidly returning his attention to the table in front of him like he wasn't sure how to respond. Or if he was even permitted to.

But apparently Shuri wasn't so easily dissuaded. She took a step forward so her hip was against the edge of the kitchen table and leaned her torso out over the center of the table so she was still stubbornly set into the middle of his field of vision — like it or not. She swiveled one elbow atop the hardwood and used her other hand to pull up a series of holographic brain scans she casually tossed out into the air in front of them, "This is not a time for silence, Barnes. We have many questions only you have answers to, and we cannot trade one interrogation for another. We need to understand what happened."

Shuri was normally a patient person — especially with Barnes — but Sam could sense the subtext she was diggin' 'round, and that was that if Barnes didn't start talking, they'd all be takin' a trip straight back to Wakanda and that would be that. The ball was in his court now.

While her statement was an outright threat, the subtle shift in expressions that flitted over Barnes's bruised lips had a way of indicating that Shuri's words had managed to reach him from within whatever broody depths he'd sunk into. The blue light of the rotating holograms danced off the perspiration coating his flush face, and his steel blue eyes lifted to regard the charts floating in front of him. He stared at them intently while the nearest corner of his mouth twitched, like he was trying to spin up the energy to form words.

Sam thought to throw him a lifeline, "Did it have anything to do with what you saw back there across town?" He could see Yama perk up from where she was working behind Barnes, clearly interested in where this was headed since she was out of the loop as much as Shuri and Nomble were.

"I…" Barnes began uncomfortably, "not exactly, no."

Sam crossed his arms, trying to look encouraging, "You know I'm not one for prying, but this feels like one of those times where it'd be good to throw us a bone so we're not left guessing what's goin' on in that cyborg brain of yours."

The all-too-familiar term and accompanying coaxing generated a mild grumble from Barnes, who clearly wasn't a fan of the direct route, "It was all stuff they'd buried."

Sam knew 'they' was code for HYDRA, and he did Barnes the honor of flourishing one hand in a broad gesture across the group, "You know that. And Ayo and I kinda gathered that, but none'a others were there with us," he reminded Barnes.

"Your activities concerned HYDRA?" Shuri translated, her voice growing increasingly distressed as she flipped through her timestamped charts and landed on what must've been a read-out from their little adventure across town before adding, "Here? What about them? Out with it."

Barnes sent Sam a frown coated in betrayal that Sam countered with a firm, "If you hadn't lied about your shoulder and run off on your own, we wouldn't be standing around trying to piece together what in the hell happened. So yeah, now's about the time to start sharing with the class."

The other man's expression soured further, but Sam got the feeling Barnes knew it was well past time to keep on playin' the guessing game, "It's not about that," his complaint was squarely for Sam, but he quickly turned his attention back to Shuri, "earlier, I mean."

"When the three of us were together?" Ayo inquired, "You, Sam, and I?" This was like trying to pull teeth.

Barnes did that uncomfortable thing with his face again before addressing Shuri, "Nothing happened. We just… M'yra located an area she thought might've once been used as an extraction point in the past. We went there to see if maybe I recognized it, or if I could maybe use it as a starting point to map out the route they used to get to the old base of operations."

While it was a factually true account, it was also absent of the most meaningful details Sam, Ayo, and man speakin' the words very well knew. In the beat of air afterwards, Nomble arched an eyebrow and glanced to Shuri with an expression that told Sam they knew they were just crackin' the surface of where this was all headed.

Shuri wasn't buyin' it. "So that's all then?" She skated her fingers through the air and produced an enlarged brain scan that featured a number of highlighted areas with what he would'a sworn were the shadows of those awful nails. "Because what I'm seeing here — and what the Design Center's staff alerted me to — looks a lot more like for a short time, the signals within your mind began behaving as if certain nails that were once struck into you were still present. I would've suspected you would've noticed such a decided shift."

The concern in her voice was hard and direct, and of course Barnes had to go and make it weird by shooting a conspiracy glance to Sam, well aware he'd been an accomplice in the whole thing. Strictly speaking, so had Ayo, but nooooo…. Barnes had opted to spare her from his guilty gaze.

"I mean, I don't know the details about that bit," Sam's mouth responded maybe a few ticks before his brain had fully flushed out his planned approach. "And it prolly sounds worse than what it was, but we mostly just walked back and forth playin' pretend and hoping we could catch a lead."

Sam was well aware he was maybe slip-slidin' around the exact details too, but it felt like Barnes should be the one talkin', not him. Instead the increasingly introverted half of 'Team Underdog' just stared holes in that chart of his like it was some kinda advanced sudoku puzzle while Shuri leaned closer and repeated in a tone that was more than a little accusatory, "'Playing pretend?'"

"We merely sought to leverage a location from the distant past to see if it drew up any familiarities," Ayo's reasonable words were for Shuri, though the princess kept her attention focused squarely between Barnes and Sam like she was gauging the peanut gallery for holes in Ayo's impressively obtuse summary of events. Man, he could only wish he'd been able to dance around details like she did back when he was growin' up. "You said you believed there to be new connections?" Ayo inquired, curious.

Shuri narrowed her eyes and shot Ayo the royal version of an irritated glare for 'yes' before turning her attention to Barnes, "Were there?" Shuri's question was for him alone.

Barnes squirmed under her gaze, but admitted, "Kinda. Yeah."

Shuri made a rapid rolling gesture with one hand, prompting the man in the chair to keep talking, "We were walking back and forth and I caught a memory from when HYDRA'd loaded me into a car after a mission. I tried to trace where the car'd taken us so I could try to find out where the base was, but I lost the trail. The roads changed and the rotunda across town hadn't been there way back."

Even though this was news to Shuri, Yama, and Nomble, everything Barnes said was by-and-large what Sam and Ayo already knew, or at the very least politely suspected. But the thing was, Shuri wasn't dim. And in real-time, Sam could see her connect some very uncomfortable dots about what 'Playing pretend' might've meant in context, and how it specifically applied to what Barnes had just said.

In response, Shuri's eyes rapidly pivoted in Ayo's direction and stayed fixated there. For a moment, Sam thought maybe she was deliberating on reserving her follow-up question for the next time the two of them were in private, but instead Shuri pointedly leveled, "and you thought this a good idea? To intentionally try to casually coax out a 'Sunrise Exercise' of vile, unknown origins?"

…Okay so when she put it like that…

"It was highly controlled," Ayo defended, "And considering the origins were from the far past, the exercise did not seem fraught with risk." Moreover: She and Sam both knew that Barnes had been the one who was eager to stroke the flames. But then, Shuri prolly knew that too. She wasn't upset with Ayo because she thought it was her idea, she was upset because she clearly thought Ayo should'a put a stop to whatever hair-brained scheme Barnes had that resulted in his brain goin' weird with the shadows of those nails like that scan hangin' in front of 'em displayed for all to see.

The chief's normally commanding voice lacked its usual conclusive edge as she offered a conciliatory, "He was himself after."

Shuri crossed her arms, "Your words would imply he was not during," she smoothly countered.

And then yeah, the room got quiet. So quiet, in fact, that Sam could hear the ambient hum from that medical device Yama was using back behind Barnes's left shoulder. It was still powered on, and flushed skin was lookin' healthier by the minute, but Yama'd taken the opportunity to reposition herself so she could keep eyes on both Ayo and Shuri, like a kid trying to sus out if their parents were fightin'-fightin', or just tossin' snark back and forth to ease things over.

Ayo's eyes darted to their audience in waiting as she formulated her next words with exceptional care, "The series of events was not my intention, but it was my responsibility. In the future we will be more mindful of such nebulous explorations."

It was clear to Sam by the evaluatory expression on Shuri's face that her words rang true, but that Ayo'd also found a diplomatic way of calling attention to the fact that Shuri and her crew had apparently been doin' some flavor of the same mischief on the other end of town, just without Barnes as an alibi.

Shuri made a grumble deep in the back of her throat and turned her attention first to the illuminated chart with Barnes's brain and then squarely back to the man himself like she was tryin' to mindread a connection the two. Knowing whatever he'd seen and experienced was firmly planted in HYDRA's tentacles, this was usually the point where folks would step back and let Barnes have his uncomfortable secrets. But considering everything that had gone down, apparently Shuri wasn't inclined to leave things buried.

The Wakandan princess adjusted her shoulders and tempered her tone into something firm, but devoid of heat, "I'm listening," she observed, directing her attention between Ayo, Sam, and Barnes like they were guilty school children. She tapped her finger along the nearest edge of the holographic readout floating between them for emphasis. "This is not something I will shy away from. The variability in the scans like these is worrisome, and I will not wave it aside for another day may not have. Do you understand?" Shuri's focus shifted to Barnes specifically, "This is serious, Barnes. The Design Group rallied from sleep when they saw the sudden change in your readings, and they now wait on me for answers. I can provide precious little when we continue to dance around specifics simply for the sake of courtesy, and a scheme I suspect was of your own making."

It was clear from the creases above Barnes's eyebrows that he was less-than-thrilled with the direct approach, but after a brief pause, he adjusted his stubbled jaw and volunteered in a low voice, "It was here in Symkaria. After a mission. I don't know the exact date, but I think it might've been in the 50s based on the handler with me." Sam thought maybe that was all the details they were gonna get before he more grimly added, "He'd sent me to take out a prior handler and his family." His eyes lifted and found Sam's, "You said when you were here last week, that I didn't remember anything from here?"

Sam let out an uncomfortable breath of air between his lips, "I don't think so. Your memory's usually a steel trap, and when we were here last week, I got the impression something was nagging at your peripheral when you couldn't remember the details. But that's as far as you and I got on specifics. That's what prompted you to ring up Ayo and see if she and the others had ever remembered you saying anything about Symkaria."

"When was that?"

Sam sighed, feelin' for the fact Barnes was still strugglin' to piece together a chronology that didn't track with his current lived experiences, "That was last Friday. The ninth. Today's Tuesday," Sam checked his watch, "Or Wednesday technically since it's past midnight."

"And you think on Friday, that I didn't remember anything from here?"

Sam shook his head, "I got the impression your cup was nearly empty. You just said you knew the Winter Soldier was active around here before."

Barnes returned the statement with a firm nod, like it was what he'd expected to hear, "The prior handler, he'd been HYDRA, but I don't think his family knew." He paused before more quietly adding, "They didn't see it coming."

So on the list of a thousand and one conversations Sam didn't need to have with Barnes — or Buck for that matter — this one was way the hell up there.

No thanks to grisly charts like the one floatin' a few feet away and the ones he'd seen with actual nails piercing his skull, Sam now had a more formulated view on the utter depths of depravity that'd led to the man sittin' in front of him being brainwashed and used as a living weapon against anyone HYDRA'd thought to point him at. But for some reason, some part'a Sam'd held out hope that maybe the bulk of the crossfire was composed of shadowed wartime firefights and distant sniper takedowns.

It didn't make the killin' any cleaner, certainly, but the thought of him being pointed at kids and families… it was a very particular sorta extra awful. The kind that stained a different part of you.

Sam knew now that his cognition and very humanity had been suppressed to horrifying measures beyond anything he'd ever suspected or that Steve had ever theorized. That his friend's mind had been stretched and twisted inside out any which way to such a degree that he hadn't even been capable of understanding the cruelty forced upon him, no less the tainted morals and ethics surrounding the bloodstained requests made of him.

Sam'd made some bad calls in his life, but at least he had the virtue of knowin' he had full responsibility in the choices he'd made. Barnes on the other hand? He'd been dealt a hand of cards that were manipulated from the get-go. And now that the veil between him and the missions HYDRA'd sent him out on were bubbling up to the surface, he had to come to terms with some hard truths — like the fact he'd been the one to pull the trigger. Not HYDRA. Him.

His disquieting, shifting expressions were still lopsided and full'a holes, but Sam didn't doubt that the weight of whatever he'd seen or experienced was stirrin' like sandpaper against his insides too. He didn't need anyone to walk him through how it'd been wrong to do what he had to that family here way back. It was obvious he tasted the bile of it too.

And Sam was guessing the red in Barnes's ledger was at least a few pages longer than that list Buck'd penned down in Steve's journal.

"Well that's a dozen kinds of awful," Sam remarked when he couldn't stand the brooding silence any longer. "I'm sorry they put you up to that. I didn't realize that bit on the other side of town churned that up along with it."

"I wouldn't have known either," Barnes countered, half-apologizing. "Missions — especially highly classified missions — are supposed to remain locked up. I don't know why that one broke through the walls they put up." He glanced over to Shuri with that sorta look he sometimes got when he was hoping he'd said enough to earn another heaping of silence as a reward.

The princess didn't look so sure. It was clear from the expression on her face that she wanted to press for further details, but she was no stranger to grasping how tender such experiences might've been. This wasn't just pourin' a cupp'a tea and ruminating over entries in his cryptic journals. Barnes had unwittingly been forced to relive some fraction of his experiences as the Winter Soldier because he'd been so eager to see if he could retrace his steps to the hidden HYDRA base he claimed once existed in Aniana, and the prisoners of war he'd put there with his own hands.

Shuri focused her attention back on the charts, tracing a finger around a particular shadowed area deep in the interior of his brain like she'd intended to say something before getting distracted by a stray thought. It was Ayo that broke her out of it, "What is it?"

The genius lifted the scan and rotated it around in her palm, "I was going to say that due to the complex issue we find ourselves in regarding Barnes's mind, it's difficult to strike at certainties, but the structure in this specific scan is specific enough to give credence to the possibility that during your 'playing pretend' Sunset Exercise, Barnes's brain began to target patterns familiar to it that matched with the root time of the memories themselves." She expanded a portion of the 3D hologram, zooming in on a section deep within the core of his brain, where bright streaks of electrical current moved up and down along the shadows of what Sam suspected had once been a metal nail.

"I'd theorized that because of localized activity surrounding only select areas where particular nails were once present, it was likely that your brain's activity briefly mirrored a specific time you were still shackled by HYDRA, before the last of them had been driven into you." Sam could tell Shuri was piecing things together in real time, but that she'd latched onto a breadcrumb, "I've never seen an intermediary scan quite like this. Not to this level of specificity. It is as if the current itself was trying to recreate signals using the new tissue we coaxed to regrow in the channels years ago after we carefully removed the nails."

She rotated the image around and turned it on its side, "In the scan, the shadows of far fewer nails present themselves compared to how many I would have expected if you believe this memory to be formed from the 1950s. The shapes of many spokes dig deep into your hippocampus, as if that was an area key of HYDRA's initial focus. That part of the limbic system is highly involved in memory, learning, and emotion. We believe it to be heavily responsible for holding short-term memories and transferring them to long-term storage in the brain."

Sam felt like he was following along on the broad strokes: sometime during that walk'n sulk exercise on the far side of town, Barnes's brain had started firing as if some of the nails were still there. Potentially just the ones that'd been there at the time of the flashback, but ones that dealt heavily with topics concerning memory. It also tracked that Shuri wouldn't have had access to any scans from when HYDRA was mid-project on Barnes's brain, only the final result when he'd first arrived in Wakanda. It made sense that an echo of a scan from a very particular moment in time might offer some clues as to what those butchers calling themselves scientists had done and why.

"There's a chance we can help date the memory you experienced," Shuri continued, encouraged, "but I am realizing now there is yet another layer to this we had not considered. I have never been able to determine the exacting order the nails were grafted into you. But now…" her voice faded off as she regarded the scan with fresh eyes that saw a new handhold. "Now there is a chance I can piece together a clearer understanding of their barbarous methods, and perhaps undo the damage they've done."

Shuri's words didn't preempt a promise that she had a solution in mind, but there was an unmistakable hint of hope to her voice that perhaps they'd inexplicably stumbled into a clue that could help stall the deterioration of Barnes's mind before it started collapsing in on itself in a few day's time.

And hey? Their little exercise might not've been royalty-approved, but at least it'd borne fruit in more ways than one as a consolation prize.

"Was what you saw related to the later sparks of memory you experienced?" Shuri inquired.

Barnes considered her question for a moment before shaking his head, "I don't think so."

"Then we will pursue the details you recall from 'playing pretend' at a later time. I'd only ask you to log what you experienced before bed tonight in case it proves useful later. Or in case the memory of it begins to slip through your fingers once more."

Barnes met her eyes and nodded once at the frustrating truth in her words. Sam didn't want to think about it either, but this memory stuff Barnes was experiencing was no-doubt a two way street. It was entirely possible something he'd seen might prove useful later, or could help 'em get to the bottom of whatever was causin' those haywire signals to bounce around inside his head and cause a ruckus. But it was just as possible that the details could fade back into the abyss.

"...This have anything to do with the Widows you mentioned earlier?" Sam ventured in a decidedly intentional change of subject from all things HYDRA, up to and including murderin' kids.

Shuri cocked her head, confused about the sudden change of subject, "Widows?"

"Yeah. They'd come up earlier when M'yra was digging about who might'a been behind that assassination in 2001. Nothin' to tie the two, to be clear, just possibilities and unsolved cases we were ruminating on about surrounding that woman with the red hair Barne'd jotted down in one of his journals. He'd made a remark in passing about them not necessarily recalling things after the fact either." Sam turned his attention to the man in question "The hell was that supposed to mean back there?"

The stubble-faced individual sittin' in front of him frowned and turned those distant eyes of his towards Ayo before quickly pivoting them back to Sam. "They…" Barnes began before adjusting his jaw and rephasing his approach in a low gravelly voice, "Like I said: I don't think I'm supposed to remember, but they had ways of controlling them too. Enough, at least."

Sam's breath caught in his throat as Shuri challenged, "The Widows? How?"

"I don't remember the details," Barnes slowly admitted, "but… there were missions. With them. Not many, but a few. After one mission in particular, before I was wiped and set back to a clean slate, it was as if something similar happened with one of them. Like who they were shifted," he looked directly at Sam, "not exactly, but maybe sort of like the difference between me and your 'Buck.'"

Sam didn't know much at all about Black Widows beyond the bits and pieces he'd heard from Nat and wasn't sure exactly what he'd been expecting, but that right there… that was a lot to take in, "You think it's like they did to you? HYDRA, I mean?"

Barnes frowned and shook his head, "No, I don't think so. It was different. But I can remember a mission with one of them. After we got back to base, we were separated. I was injured, and they wanted me in better shape before they wiped me and put me on ice. But the next time we interacted, the person with her had to reintroduce her to me. To explain why I was there." Barnes squinted his face and looked at the back of one hand, like he was remembering something being there. "She asked my handler how I'd gotten hurt, but she should've known. She'd been there when it happened."

"Here, in Symkaria?" Shuri pressed.

"I don't think so, but I'm not sure," he grimaced, frustrated at his own failing. "I can't see her face. Any of their faces. It's all foggy. Just bits and pieces." He looked up at Shuri, "The order in my head isn't right. The order's wrong, so it's hard to tell what connects between all the wipes. Between what they did."

Shuri nodded, but she wasn't ready to let go of that particular thread. Not yet. "Back on the mountain you'd said there were other groups interested in research about you. That some had removed core samples of your very brain to help them understand what had worked to make more of you. To perfect their methods. Could it be related?"

"It's possible… but I think that was S.H.I.E.L.D."

"What was?" Sam interjected, confused.

Barnes turned towards him, like a light'd gone off in his head, "Different lab, but that was where they took the core samples. I remember it from the signs on the wall. They kept me out of cryo for extended periods. They needed tissue that was thawed. Wanted me awake."

Sam did his best to forcibly ignore the horrific mental image that last remark'd had churned up. He waved his hands in front of him, making a 'T' symbol with both hands, "Wait wait, hold on here. Time out. You lost me. A S.H.I.E.L.D. facility?"

"Yeah. The North Institute. It was a covert cognitive research facility in Ohio."

"And they had you there. S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Well. They were probably HYDRA," Barnes reasoned aloud with far more casual grace than Sam might've preferred, "or at least the majority of them."

Sam knew about 'Project Insight' and he knew S.H.I.E.L.D. had been infiltrated and was largely controlled by HYDRA by in 2014, but it hadn't always been that way. It'd been founded by Howard Stark, Chester Phillips, and Peggy Carter, and good people had worked under their crest, including a number of folks Sam knew and respected. He'd always imagined that there were a few roaches that'd managed to sneak in and take root, but the idea that there'd been a base on American soil — in Ohio of all places — that'd been infested with enough HYDRA agents that they could straight-up imported Barnes so they could try their hand at to picking him apart piece-by-piece…?

It was fundamentally unsettling in a whole host of new and awful ways, up to and including the fact that now Sam had to wonder if any of the photos from that dossier Nat'd dropped off way back were taken inside of the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility Barnes had mentioned, or ones like it.

Somehow, the thought of it being so close to home rather than overseas in some distant Russian or German lab was almost worse.

While Sam was ruminating on what images he remembered from that haunted dossier, Shuri was already head-deep into searching out any details she could find from a new text display and Wakandan Google search above her wrist, and by the looks of it: maybe her glasses? Were those smart frames augmented too? "A fire at the North Institute was reported on local news in 1995. The flames burned down most structures, but was later rebuilt after an insurance settlement," Shuri supplied. "We did not believe it to be a location possessing substantial scientific value at the time."

"I don't remember a fire, but I know they had me there at some point," Barnes's tone was firm. "It's hard to tell if it was just once, or if I went and shipped back a second time. They found a way to keep me conscious but immobile from the neck down while out of cryo. They were asking me questions while they dissected my brain and took samples."

Barnes looked up at the ceiling as if he was trying to scour his mind for any key details, "I think they were digging around to try and figure out what was different about me. Why that serum they'd had me steal didn't work the same on the other Winter Soldiers they'd used it on. The ones they couldn't fully control." He adjusted his jaw and turned to Shuri, "The scientists in Ohio were talking about trying to uncover how they could influence the basal ganglia directly."

Before Sam could raise his hand for a follow-up lab question, Shuri frowned and stepped back, "The primary hub of cognition, procedural learning, emotional processing, and involuntary motor movement." Her expression grew tight with concern. "They were working to try to unlock the very secrets of free will."

And that…? The thought of what HYDRA would'a done with a poisoned Pandora's Box like that? It was downright terrifying.

…But they would'a known if any more'a them had managed to crack the code, right?

"You said it was probably HYDRA," Ayo inquired.

"By the 90s, they'd infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. for decades. They had a well-organized, global network after World War II when the Allies mistakenly believed they were defeated with the Nazis. HYDRA and other groups were interested in the research so they could grow their own super soldiers or wield control over others. Most people didn't know about me, though. Only their highest ranking officials did. They traded me around to HYDRA and their allies for select high-priority missions. Sometimes it was a business transaction. Other times it was a set-up. Either way: HYDRA always had the keys. They weren't interested in sharing their secrets, only in tempting their allies with loose ends. They didn't allow other groups to take blood samples or work on me. If they tried, I was programmed to use lethal countermeasures."

He paused a beat before adding, "So yeah. Those scientists in Ohio were probably HYDRA."

Sam hated how detached Barnes sounded when he talked about them passing him around like a thing rather than an actual person.

"If HYDRA ran missions with Black Widow operatives, it's not impossible to imagine that they might've worked together closely behind-the-scenes," Shuri noted, "perhaps towards a common goal."

"I only remember bits and pieces," Barnes admitted. "But I don't recall or hearing anything about Widows or the KGB in Ohio. They wouldn't have been permitted in the facility, but they could've been hiding in plain sight too. If they were, there's a chance even HYDRA wouldn't have been able to tell them apart."

Sam's mind was running circles around itself with a whole host of new questions. Natasha'd been a Widow. Had she known about any'a this or crossed paths with Barnes way back? Or maybe the fallout with the Widows he was thinking of were from another era entirely? Whatever it was, there was something extra disturbing about the idea that any'a this might'a taken place while Sam was runnin' about. Back in '95, Sam would'a been in High School, and the thought that right around the same time, Buck, Barnes, or whoever you wanted to call him was off in some lab upstate in Ohio having a waking lobotomy was all twisted knots of wrong.

And all this that Barnes was sayin' now — had Buck known? Or was this bit of his past suppressed too? Sam didn't have a clue, but it was apparent from that uncomfortable expression on Barnes's face that he would'a relished a cuppa clarity over yet another box of unsolved mysteries and wanton subjugation. And maybe that was part of why he wasn't skirtin' around this particular subject. 'Cause he was hoping someone might'a been able to put the pieces together that he hadn't been able to.

Right about the time Sam was beginning to work his jaw around a follow-up question, Yama blinked and glanced down from what she was doing to inspect the strand of Kimoyo beads around her wrist. They were taking turns pulsing with short bursts of orange and white light. At first Sam didn't grasp the significance, but then he caught Nomble and Shuri sneaking a peek at their matching beads. "Ayrthon's approaching the location where we've been monitoring his friend 'David'," Yama noted.

"Monitoring," Sam deadpanned. "So you have more of those drones of yours then?"

So sure, Sam was running his mouth — maybe even subconsciously offering Barnes a breather from all things HYDRA so he didn't risk sinkin' deeper into the mire than he already was — but Sam also wasn't tryin' to be the center of attention either. Yet for some reason, his offhand remark managed to snare up not only Shuri's full and undivided attention, but it also earned him an oddly conspiratorial glance between Yama and Nomble.

Interesting. Yeah, the three of them had definitely been up to something across town while he and Barnes were off playing pretend with Ayo.

"I've only one active drone," Shuri responded in that tone Sam's sister used to use when she was purposely skirtin' around details 'bout where she'd been out past curfew.

"We set surveillance Kimoyos as a precaution," Nomble volunteered. Just behind Barnes, Yama averted her eyes and pretended to look busy playin' doctor.

Now it was Ayo's turn to take a hand on the wheel of mysteries, "Were they set with further purpose?"

By the flow of conversation, Sam got the impression that Ayo thought she stood a better chance squeezin' details out of Nomble specifically, "Yes. Two beads were set on either side of a favorable alleyway."

"Because…?"

Shuri sighed dramatically and interjected herself before Nomble could offer up any further details, "Because I sought a moment of respite so I could utilize my drone to get a closer look at certain city streets near key locations." She paused, sparing a beat to wait Ayo out before she added, "I suspect you are aware of the route we took from our trackers?"

Ayo cultivated a school-teacher's firm tone, "I did not think you would seek to move towards the residence with the unreported break-in."

Sam stayed scarecrow quiet and even Barnes looked a hint relieved to not be the exclusive target of conversation for once.

Shuri raised a hand in her own defense, "We did not draw unnecessarily close!"

Ayo made that sound deep in her throat that she did when she was irritated. Even Barnes leaned away slightly, giving the Chief Dora a wider berth while she leveled her accusation on her royal charge, "You deliberately masked your intentions."

"I had no intentions, merely curiosities! It was unfortunate that we needed to procure space between us and those eyes that fancied our belongings, but we had things under control." Shuri used one hand to enlarge a live holographic video feed showing a slender man in a green jacket — Ayrthon, Sam assumed — talking to his disoriented friend. Sam couldn't read the text at the bottom of the screen, but he suspected either Shuri's drone or the nearby beads were transcribing their conversation in real time. Who knew? Maybe something they said would be useful. Sam'd certainly gotten leads in stranger ways. Hell: Zemo'd used Turkish delight.

Over the drone's oblong video feed, Sam watched as Ayrthon hefted his friend up off the ground, revealing a garbage-strewn alleyway and overturned trash cans behind them. Shuri observed the feed thoughtfully as she addressed Ayo, "Even though this 'Ayrthon' caused us sizable distress, I think he has been through enough tonight to not need to meet with the force of the beads set nearby. Your esteemed, quick-thinking Lieutenants admirably demonstrated their effects on his more forward friend." Shuri rolled her fingers across a pop-out digital side menu along the side of her feed, "Besides: we now also have access to the contents of his cellular phone."

"Such small boons do not make up for the wildly unnecessary series of events which led to how they were obtained," Ayo reminded her.

"I might say the same to you," Shuri countered. "And we did not travel half as far as you did."

The two of 'em resolved to that practiced stare-off they sometimes did with the pot callin' the kettle black, but at least there wasn't any heat in their exchange.

…Sam'd have to ask Yama what Shuri meant about the 'effects' of that bead on that David fella. By the stern expression on Ayo's face, there was more to the story than they were lettin' on.

Undeterred, Shuri continued, "While taking generalized scans of downtown, my drone came across localized signal interference. Upon further investigation, the data I discovered shares a curious alignment with a statement Barnes made prior to our arrival."

The sound of his name made Barnes pivot his head just enough that he could get a better look at a three-dimensional map Shuri pulled up over the table in front of him. The scale miniature of Aniana spanned about two city blocks, and a cockeyed rectangular quadrant was cordoned off with thin orange horizontal lines like a two-story fence made exclusively of lasers. "He made mention that he believed the thief who entered that building downtown with the unreported break-in might've been a professional. My scans could corroborate that belief, because someone — maybe the same person, or perhaps the tenant or someone else — took great care to erect an invisible perimeter surrounding that city block with not insignificant technologies I've yet to fully parse."

Well that was interesting. Sam peered closer to the digital recreation of a part of downtown he hadn't had the pleasure of sprinting through while a step beside him, Ayo frowned and shifted her weight away from her bad leg. It was obvious she was takin' it in, same as Barnes, who remained silently seated by her elbow, though his steel-blue eyes scanned the model like he was searching for clues.

"Any idea what they're setup to do?" Sam inquired.

"I'm not entirely sure yet," Shuri apologized. "My scans were halted prematurely due to our… uh… 'complications,' and I did not want to run the risk of intentionally interrupting the signals just to see what might happen. Were I to guess? I suspect they may be tied to perimeter sensors."

"So you think someone's interested in surveillance?" Sam inquired.

Shuri rolled the map view and the overlay around in her fingers, "It would seem so, but I do not know who they are hoping to catch." She addressed Barnes specifically, noting his interest in the holographic projection, "Does this location or the surrounding area mean anything to you?"

He kept his voice low. Compliant. "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell from a view like this. I'd have a better idea from the ground."

"Could be that the area's changed since you were last here," Sam observed. "Like that spot across town. Maybe M'yra could look into it?"

Before the three of them could continue musing about the strange laser grid and the history of local architectural developments, Ayo smoothly cut in, "Such matters of local crime are not our present priority," she reminded them. Her brown eyes stayed steady on the side of Barnes's head, "They would best be tabled for the time being so that we can better understand the precise events that took place after we parted ways back across the river."

"Indeed. We can pick up such loose threads at a later time," Shuri dipped her head gracefully in consent to Ayo's request to shift the topic of conversation back to Barnes and the snowball of bad decisions that'd led him here. "You would do us a great service to tell us more of what other irregularities you experienced while seeking to catch up with our petty pursuer."

Barnes had heard both of 'em — Sam was sure of it — but he wasn't being forthcoming on details. The resulting silence of his was stubbornness incarnate. Like he hoped that if he simply waited it out, they'd lose interest and change the subject again.

But Shuri was havin' none of it.

The princess used a single finger to dismiss the oblong viewport of her drone in preference for enlarging a layered overlay of colorful undulating brain scan and timestamped vitals. "I—" she started to speak, but was interrupted by a short lighted pulse from one of her Kimoyo beads. She frowned at it and sighed as she began again, "As I've said, I am deeply appreciative of your desire to keep us safe and for your willingness to share more what you glimpsed while 'playing pretend,' but I have many urgent messages waiting for me from the Design Center that are deserving of replies. They're very concerned, and I have yet to offer an explanation of what transpired that would account for such a sizable imbalance in your scans. We were not there with you to see what you did, and to understand what happened."

When Barnes didn't immediately respond, she lowered her head slightly, ensuring the man across from her could see her whole face as she more persuasively added, "You realize, they believed you might be in the throes of an Event, yes? And how that might've put countless others in danger like what happened at the Design Center when you first woke up?"

Barnes set his jaw and dropped his eyes, circling that dark private place of his. Sam could see his guilty expression surface on his stubbled face as Shuri added, "There are many times where we had respected your preference for silence, but this is not one of those times. We are only speaking as we are now because concerning as your decisions were, you did not harm that man when you sought answers. But we cannot ignore that you broke with our pact to follow as you were told. It leaves us with all manner of questions, including what we should do now when that trust we put in you has been sheared."

The uncomfortable cyborg seated in front of her wasn't one to show the far reaches of emotion — not really — but by the tight, uneven expression on his face, it was clear to Sam that he was listening, but lost on what to say. Maybe he was caught up in a shredder of memories where he'd forgotten if he was even permitted to speak up at all.

Whatever it was must've been bad. Really bad. No doubt another dose of HYDRA's poison. But they had to know if they stood a chance of movin' forward, so Sam did what he could to toss him a lifeline, "C'mon man. You scared the shit out of us. You can at least offer up a few breadcrumbs here. Like why didn't you say anything when that thing was burnin' a hole in your damn shoulder?"

The man sittin' catty-corner to him grimaced, "It wasn't that bad at first."

Okay, he was talkin'. That was a start, "For someone who gets all self righteous about other people lying, you're piss poor at it, you know."

"It got worse," came the predictable grumbled defense. "I didn't know it'd get worse."

From just behind Barnes's ailing shoulder, Yama made a short shrug with her shoulders as a factual substitute for 'I told you so' while she continued to mend the seared flesh. Apparently her reigning theory'd been right.

"And you didn't say anything when it did," Sam leveled at Barnes.

"I had to stay quiet."

"You could'a sent a message or signed. How 'bout that, smartass?"

Barnes grimaced and glanced at the fingers of his left hand, "Some of my fingers were malfunctioning, I…"

"All of 'em?"

"...Well... No…" he awkwardly admitted to the lacquered tabletop. "I guess it wasn't my priority at the time."

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned his head forward to rest three fingers to the bridge of his nose, "'You guess?' Are you honestly listenin' to yourself?" He met those heavy steel blue eyes lookin' back at him, "Your best defense is how you needed to focus on the man you were stalking over those of us on the comms telling you to stand down? You know, the same people that are standing around your stubborn ass right now trying to figure out what the hell to do with you after you went off the rails back there? I'm not gonna lie: I'm relieved as hell to hear that kid you wrestled with wasn't some undercover operative or midnight murderer, but it doesn't justify what you did. You went rogue man. You get that, right?"

Sam hadn't meant to be so blunt — maybe he had — but every last one of 'em knew this was serious, Barnes included.

The response wasn't quick in coming, and Barnes kept his eyes fixed to the tabletop as he hollowly admitted, "I know." Sam got the impression the words weren't just part of a simple call and response. He might've been frustratingly stubborn, but he clearly grasped the crux of the issue with both hands. Slowly, painfully, Barnes lifted his bloodshot eyes to meet Sam's and added, "I got in too deep."

Up until this point, Sam thought he had a fairly decent picture of some part of what'd happened, but those confessional words struck a chord in him. Reminded him of a dozen times or more when he'd been forced to come to terms with his own well-intentioned failings. Barnes havin' the self-awareness to share that uncomfortable place didn't suddenly make everything better — not by a long-shot — but it helped fill in some of the missing pieces. 'Specially since Sam could catch that whiff of homegrown 'I messed up' laid bare in the spaces in between 'em.

Here was this man — he corrected: his friend — who'd spent a chunk of his remembered life blindly followin' poisoned orders 'cause the people holdin' his leash told him to, and now that he finally had some breaths of freedom and free will? He'd made some bad calls.

But who hadn't?

Sam chewed on the side of his lip as the other folks who were standin' 'round Barnes took time to percolate on what he'd had to say. Ayo's expression remained positively neutral, but Sam could see the struggle in her eyes, no-doubt at odds with how they could proceed from here knowing that on one hand: he'd kept his promise to T'Challa to keep Shuri safe, but at the cost of keeping secrets from them and disobeying a direct order from her.

All things considered? It was a relief that Barnes clearly realized he'd run himself up and over the curb, but it didn't make it any easier to figure out what to do with him now.

Sam sighed and spared a glimpse to check on the progress Yama'd made with the scarred flesh where the arm's mounting was attached to Barnes's rib cage and clavicle. Even though she was still hard at work multitasking and doin' her part to soothe the burned streaks from the awry electrical current, the angry welted skin had a way of reminding Sam of just how far Barnes had been willing to push himself in his singlehanded pursuit to 'do the right thing' even if his methods left a lot to be desired.

It was Shuri who broached the stagnant silence first, placing a second Kimoyo atop the hardwood table in front of Barnes as she enlarged an additional series of brain scans and arranged them so they were visible to everyone, but especially Barnes, "I showed you the scan taken during your exploits across the river, but this one occurred next. Once you were already in motion to us just after your river crossing by the looks of it." She ran a finger around key areas of activity noting, "The behavior in these orange areas varies greatly from not only scans taken moments before, but we measured sudden spikes in your vitals that were cause for alarm."

Her unwavering deep brown eyes manage to coax him out of his shell long enough to broach a more specific question, "I would ask that you share what you know about the triggers that might've generated such irregular scans. I've already reviewed the transcripts of your audio exchanges taken directly after, and contrary to your claims to Sam of being 'fine.'" She tapped the ethereal blue outline of the nearest scan, "this data and others like it claim there was far more going on than simple exertion. I do not know if the tethers made it to your conscious mind, but it could be critical to unlocking the deeper connections we are struggling to unravel with the limited time we have available to us."

Shuri's method of cutting back to the chase was direct — Sam'd give her that — but she wasn't skirtin' corners just to save on gas. Even though the lot of them were standin' here in some Symkarian safehouse after gettin' too curious to explore for their own good, at the center of it all was the fact that Barnes's brain was still a ticking time bomb. From what Shuri and the scientists back at the Design Center could tell, he only had a few days left as himself before his memories risked slipping irreversibly, and that was if they kept him out of REM sleep and away from one of those 'Black Hole Events' that could twist his mind any which-way. So all things considered? Uncomfortable as it was, they needed to know what was goin' on in that cyborg brain of his, and if it was the sorta thing that needed intervention, or an immediate evac to Wakanda.

But judging by the look on Barnes's face, he knew exactly what Shuri was diggin' at, and Sam was guessing it was another extra fresh batch of HYDRA bullshit he wasn't keen to share.

His face soured and churned as that mind of his rolled around like some kinda cursed rock tumbler. More gently Shuri added, "Do you know the instance of which I speak here, when your locator placed you along the western edge of Aniana's river channel?"

From the subtle shift in his expression? Oh, he knew it. But it seemed like he was takin' his time to inspect the matching timestamped brain scan like he'd suddenly earned a corner-store doctorate special in neurology.

Shuri continued, encouraged that she at least had his attention, "During the episode, the flow of electrical currents throughout the grey and white matter of your brain changed behavior in ways that contrast with the baselines we have normally seen it display, even a week ago when you preferred another name. The scans taken during this select period a short time ago show activity persisting directly through areas where scar tissue customarily inhibits unrestricted flow. Here see, this is a scan from minutes earlier." She pulled a nearby scan closer to him to make it easier to see the differences between them, "See how the current wavers along the edges of the scar tissue, where the nails once were? Like the refraction of light in water."

Sam didn't have a great view, but he saw it too. How the scans taken from when Barnes was usually, well, Barnes, had signals that came in at one angle and shifted slightly when they hit against areas with scar tissue. When they exited the other side, they were cockeyed from the original angle of entry.

But this time, the scans taken during this latest episode looked like they went straight through. Like they'd ignored the dense scar tissue entirely.

Like the nails'd never been there.

...How was that even physically possible? And more importantly: what did it mean?

Barne's voice was tentative as it was cautious, "I don't…" he began, but his words stalled in his throat. He spared a glance to the worn black backpack with his journals across the room before trying again, "I'd read something about it in the journals, but I didn't remember it. Not like this. I saw it. Felt it. Like I was there. This…" his face contorted, and Sam caught the edge of Ayo's intense expression from where she stood like a sentinel just beyond his left elbow.

Sam was half-expecting her to step in as she often did and come to his rescue. To say something about how Barnes didn't need to feel compelled to share if he wanted his privacy or if he needed time to process. But this time she stayed silent, well aware that they needed to get to the bottom of even this uncomfortable stuff if they were gonna make any headway about what'd happened back there.

That bein' as it was: it twisted Sam up inside to see Barnes put on the spot and struggling to formulate the right series of words for what he was suffering through right then. "It doesn't… he was there."

The single word was loaded like Barnes thought he'd dug up enough context for the people around him to make the connection, but Sam found himself craving seeking clarity, "Who? Was it someone from when they had ya?"

And then Barnes turned those complicated, bloodshot blue eyes to him and said the one name he hadn't seen coming, "Steve."

Sam blinked, confused. He'd been expecting they were in a collision course straight into more dehumanizing HYDRA shit, not… Steve.

Before Sam could work out anything resembling a response, Barnes dropped his eyes away like he was worried he'd said too much. Or maybe he was hopin' he'd said enough. But Sam wasn't ready to let that particular thread drop just yet, not when he was still aching for context on why Barnes looked so fundamentally unsettled. Like he'd seen the ghost of HYDRA past. "Do you know when we're talkin' about?"

The corner of Barnes's lips flinched and his eyes shifted to the vibranium hand curled atop his thigh, "I… from what I put together in the journals, and what I read about and overheard Steve telling you back in D.C., it… I think it was from before. Before HYDRA…"

It was clear from the way that Barnes's shoulders immediately tensed that whatever connective tissue he'd latched onto was tied to the assholes that'd played a prolonged game of Operation with his brain. "Before they what?" Shuri pressed.

"Azzano?" Ayo more cautiously inquired.

Barnes shook his head. Sam'd heard the Italian city brought up on more than one occasion, but Ayo'd framed it as something that was Buck's story to tell, not hers. The way she said the single word made Sam feel like what bits and pieces he'd been able to piece together from history books about the valiant rescue of PoWs and the formation of the Howling Commandos were even a further cry from the whole story than he'd been led to believe. Even Steve'd been slim on details.

…Did Barnes know that story? Gah, this whole situation was a mess.

"...There was… a train…"

The kitchen went pin-drop silent at Barnes's latest clarification. Even Yama immediately stiffened and discreetly cut the power to that portable regeneration stabilizer of hers, stepping back as if she thought maybe this was a good time to give him some added personal space. And see, Sam couldn't speak for the Wakandans, but he'd never heard Buck say a peep about the particularly sensitive topic Barnes looked to be circling the drain around.

If was headin' where Sam suspected it was, then he'd damn-well heard Steve's version on repeat, and the guilt laden pain in every verse. All the regret he'd carried for years thinkin' his best friend had died back in some impossibly high ravine, only to find out half a century later that he'd apparently been found alive, captured, and subjugated in ways none of them had thought possible.

Whatever Barnes was processing now, it was like he'd managed to latch onto something that'd been buried in the snow with him, "I… there was an explosion. I was outside the train. Struggling to hold on…"

The greater part'a Sam was hoping someone might speak up and call a halt to all this. To tell Barnes he didn't have to say the quiet parts out loud. But it was like even Sam's own objections caught in his throat as the other man gravelly added, "I was terrified. I don't ever remember being terrified like that. He called out to me, but he couldn't reach me. He tried to. Then the bar I was holding gave out and… and…"

Sam'd experienced long and loaded silences, but this one might'a taken home the prize. He honestly didn't have a clue what anyone else might'a followed up with next, but then Barnes had to go and add, "After I hit the rocks, I couldn't feel my arm. Couldn't feel much of anything. But I could still hear the train in the distance. I kept listening for it, even after it got dark. I don't… after that it's just bits and pieces. I'd hear them. Trains, I mean. But… he…." Barnes dipped his head, his voice cracking, "...he never came."

Before Sam could begin to extrapolate the all-encompassing implications of all'a that, Barnes went and turned his attention squarely to Sam, "...I hadn't remembered. Before this. …was I…?"

Although he was missin' any number of nouns and verbs, Sam was able to follow along to what Barnes was diggin' at from context alone. The Wakandans had done a lot to help Buck, but he knew it was his solemn responsibility to go over this next bit since he'd had the opportunity to hear a lotta things straight from Steve over the years.

Sam sucked in a deep breath to steady himself before licking his lips and slowly letting the air out of his lips, "If I'm being honest? You and I never had this talk before, so I didn't get any of the details straight from you. But I heard enough from him, and it sounds like it might'a been when they thought you were killed in action in a mission with the Howling Commandos back in '45."

From the troubled expressions on everyone else's faces, Sam was guessin' that — like him — they'd also been assuming whatever Barnes had remembered during that blackout Symkarian river crossing was explicitly courtesy of HYDRA. This here…? This was all kinds of complicated Sam'd never considered having to explain back to the man. Sam certainly knew the broad strokes thanks to what Steve'd told him, but it wasn't like he'd ever tried to pin Buck down for details. Even Steve prolly hadn't tried to spool up that part of his past just for the sake of morbid curiosity, but now Sam was left wondering what parts Buck even remembered from the ordeal. Maybe chunks of that'd been hidden away too?

And then Barnes had to go and make it even worse.

"...He didn't come looking for me, did he…?"

Sam swallowed hard, coming to Steve's solemn defense with what he knew as the honest-to-God truth, "He thought you were dead, man. Period. End of story. I'm sure you overheard him goin' on about it back in D.C. He had no idea. If he'd thought there was even the faintest possibility you'd survived, he would'a mounted a rescue mission to come find you straightaway. But he said that height you fell from, you never should'a been able to make it out alive."

It was hard to tell which syllables and well-intentioned excuses might've managed to get through to him between all of the flickers of emotion seepin' in around the corners of his bruised face. They weren't bright flares of anger or sharp-edged denial, but a very particular sort of seeping pain that up until this point, he'd been able to avoid colliding with it head-on. "It might've been better if I hadn't," Barnes hoarsely admitted.

The heartbreaking statement wasn't the sort of thing to be casually tossed around, no matter what other words you wrapped around it for cushioning. But Sam couldn't fault Barnes for his fragile honesty. He wasn't lookin' for someone to debate the topic with him. In that moment, he wasn't saying it for Sam or anyone else's benefit: no he was finally hearing himself air the words out loud that'd festered inside his chest like mouthfuls of barbed wire he'd been forced to swallow.

Maybe that was the difference in all this. Barnes had read through the sanitized version of what'd happened to him at the Smithsonian where the man with his face had been proclaimed a war hero that'd been killed in action. He'd overheard Steve's guilt-ridden accounts from afar and had been privy to pursuing whatever bits and pieces had been snuck between the pages of those journals of his, but it was all secondhand.

This here? From what Sam could tell, this might'a been the first time he remembered having a front seat view and harrowing burst of clarity into just what'd happened way back. And for all Sam knew, maybe even Buck hadn't had that considering how much collateral damage HYDRA'd done once they'd gotten their claws into him.

"He didn't know," Sam found himself repeating, flush with the desire to not only come to Steve's defense, but to ensure Barnes didn't think for a minute that he'd been casually left behind. "That's why he was so shocked to see you when you crossed paths again in 2014. When they sent ya after Fury. You remember that, right?"

"I'm not supposed to," Barnes confessed uneasily, his breathing ragged and uneven. "They wiped me after the mission, before they sent me after Jasper Sitwell. Then they wiped me again after I fought you, Steve, and Natasha Romanov. But I remember enough. I remember after. With you. And him."

Sam dipped his head. It was hard to forget the bullets they'd exchanged back then, but it was also a reminder of sorts that Barnes's memories from that era were closer to the surface than the bulk of his lived experiences thereafter, no thanks to the warped chronology of his fractured mind.

"That's gotta be a lot to take in," Sam commiserated, "'specially since by the sound of things, you were smack in the middle of tryin' to haul tail when those memories blindsided you." He wasn't sure what more he could say to take the sting outta what Barnes'd seen and experienced, but he tried anyway, "I know you said you're 'fine,' but how're you holdin' up with all'a that now?"

Barnes didn't say anything at first. He just kept his bloodshot blue eyes focused on the tabletop like it was a staring contest between him and the hardwood. Eventually he offered Sam a bone-weary shrug, "About as well as you'd expect."

"No shame in honesty," Sam conceded, lookin' up at the folks gathered 'round 'em. Everyone's faces looked profoundly drained, like the exchange had taken a toll on them, and they had just as few consoling answers to spare as Sam did.

Motion just across from Sam caught his attention as Shuri retracted her holograms back into the Kimoyo bead in her palm. When she spoke, her tone was exceedingly gentle, "Thank you for sharing what you did. I'm sorry that what surfaced was such a terribly painful experience. There are other irregularities in your scans that it would be apt for us to discuss, but I have many messages awaiting me from the Design Center I intend to return first." It was obvious she was trying to cut him some slack, "Before I do, can you tell me if the other outliers you glimpsed are images you suspect to be rooted in memory as well?"

Barnes kept his head down as he shallowly admitted, "Probably. The intense ones stopped after the electrical pulses did."

Sam didn't miss the plural that implied there were other memories that'd bubbled up too. From the looks of it, Shuri already expected as much. The princess glanced to Ayo, who solemnly dipped her head in reply. If Sam was readin' the room correctly, it seemed as though the Wakandans were willing to give Barnes a brief reprieve on follow-up questions surrounding such obviously loaded topics.

"I'm relieved to hear that," Shuri supplied, motioning to the electrical diode cooling on the cat trivet a short distance away. "Once I have gathered my thoughts and shared them with my scientists at the Design Center, I will work on repairing the cautionary node and insulating it against erroneous behaviors like the ones you experienced. Once my modifications are complete and thoroughly tested, it will need to be reapplied."

Barnes nodded again with that compliant hunch in his neck that Sam loathed.

"As a precaution until then, I would ask you to stay seated where you are," Ayo added. Sam could sense the compassion in her voice even if Barnes appeared oblivious to her exceedingly gentle tone.

Sam wasn't a stranger to the solid reasoning behind the safeguard, but he hated that they were in this situation all the same. While Ayo and Nomble maintained their guard on either side of him, Shuri bowed her head and stepped to the side to gather her things. Wordlessly, she ferried nondescript armloads of tech items back and forth to the couch before wrapping the electrical node in Barnes's discarded grey t-shirt and parading it to the far side of the room. She found an open spot for the cursed thing on the coffee table and set up shop on the adjoining couch, settling into the next phase of her work.

With a resigned sigh, Sam slid out a chair and took a seat next to Barnes. There might've been a world where his nerves should'a been a hair-on-edge after all that'd happened — especially with that last hostage ordeal — but whether it was sheer exhaustion or iron will, Sam didn't get the impression Barnes intended to do anything other than sit still and do exactly what he was told. Every ounce of his body language was submissive to the 'T,' and even though Sam understood why Ayo and Nomble remained stationed at either hip, it was clear even they suspected he had no intention of lashin' out at anyone.

But then, just because Barnes wasn't aiming to spill blood didn't mean his misfirin' brain might suddenly decide to turn a corner and surprise 'em.

Somewhere in the last two or three minutes, the two guarding Doras and Yama a step behind Barnes had all swapped out their business neutral expressions for faces that were crested in concern. It was hard seein' him sittin there, strugglin' in his own head while he wrestled with the sharp edges of bonafide emotions he didn't have the proper tools to come to terms with.

There was 'trauma,' and then there was the trauma of being one 'James Buchanan Barnes.'

Sam frowned. Hopefully just bein' in proximity and showin' support would amount to somethin'.

From just behind Barnes, Yama delicately spoke up, "Is it alright for me to continue my work?" When no one immediately responded, she added, "Barnes? Is it alright?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"It's looking better already," she observed, trying to be encouraging.

Barnes didn't choose to engage her in an idle reply, but before Yama turned the medical device back on, she slowly cupped her other hand against his uninjured shoulder in a sign of solidarity before softly adding, "We'll find a way forward, Lost Wolf."

In response he slowly closed his eyes, like all of this was simply too much for him to bear at once.

"We'll sort out sleeping arrangements after we've settled other matters," Ayo gently added.

Sam didn't miss how her statement made Barnes tense. She caught it too, glancing across to Nomble who frowned and shrugged in reply. All things considered, Sam couldn't understand why Ayo's voice had gotten that kinda reaction outta Barnes, but he was certain whatever was clattering around in his mind certainly wasn't helping.

"I'm sure all that took a lot out of you," Sam commiserated, doing what he could to draw the drowning cyborg out from his shell. "Want a glass of water or an energy bar or something?"

He was sure some part of Barnes heard him, but the distant reply he got wasn't anything about a midnight calorie boost, "...I tried.. to do the right thing…"

And right then, it was like Sam was sucked back in time a week ago. Back when Buck was holed up and anguishing in the corner of that Wakandan suite of theirs after Ayo'd had it out with him and he'd given up his own damn arm as a peace offering. Bucky had placed his head into his hand and slipped into the darkness as he'd strained to push out words between haggard breaths:

"I thought. I was. Doing. The right. Thing."

Sam furrowed his eyebrows at the memory and wished he could'a reached over and wrapped an arm around Barnes like he'd done for Bucky back then. To give him a non-judgmental hug and let him know without words that he wasn't alone. That the people around him cared, and were doin' everything they could to help him. That they may've been disappointed in some of his recent decisions, but they weren't about to cast him out 'cause of 'em.

So Sam resolved to stay put and keep watch over Barnes for as long as he needed, "We'll figure it out. We're just glad you're okay."

"...I tried…" Barnes repeated more softly, emotion edging along the corners of his quiet confession.

"I know you did," Sam agreed. "And we'll get through this," he promised with everything in him.

And he meant it.

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[Chapter 91 Chapter Art, by KLeCrone]

[ID: A gouache painting by KLeCrone featuring a close-up of Barnes's face in a watercolor sketchbook. The painting has a cool purple background that contrasts with Barnes's pale skin. He has a very sad and troubled expression and has emotive blue eyes and is looking off to the viewer's right. End ID]

I've been wanting to do a focused little painting of Barnes for awhile now, so after working my way through editing this chapter, I sat down for a few hours and tried to capture how I imagined him. I hope you enjoy it.

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[Chapter 30 Chapter Art, by Sam (Hail_Hawkeye)]

[ID: A painting by Sam (Hail_Hawkeye) showing Bucky sitting indoors on a tan chair. He is wearing grey socks, blue jeans, and a dark grey t-shirt with a dark blue, black, and gold shawl over his left shoulder. He has a strand of Kimoyo Beads around his right wrist and a silver necklace is visible around his neck and has his right hand against his chin as he looks down at a Wakandan tea set. Across from him sits Nomble, a member of the Dora Milaje who is wearing civilian clothing and has her legs crossed in a tan chair. She is wearing a purple shirt with geometric patterns and black pants with prominent white embroidery. She looks pensively at Bucky from within a cozy Wakandan living room featuring a 360 degree fire pit, bookshelf, and numerous wooden display cases filled with mementos and framed photographs as well as hanging tapestries. Two chairs are empty, and one has an overturned book laying atop it. In the corner is a Dora Milaje spear, and on a table between the two figures is a small coffee table with a teapot, four tea cups, and a vase with black and purple flowers. The dim firelight offers warmth to the room, and accents an otherwise somber scene. End ID]

There's many scenes that have a deep personal meaning to me in this story. One scene in particular I wrote what feels like a lifetime ago, back when we'd first landed in Wakanda and Bucky goes to Nomble's house to apologize to her after finding out what happened during and after the Decimation. It's always been a favorite scene of mine that was heavy, but also very, very real. I often see topics like grief brushed over in many types of media (Marvel included), and it was really nice to carve out space for it in this story and to let these characters sit with one another and discuss emotionally messy topics in what I hoped was a really compelling way.

Years after it was written, I reached out to Sam on instagram) on a whim to see if he might be interested in creating an illustration for Chapter 30: Remembrance. To say what he created was astounding and full of raw emotion is an immense understatement. There's so many precious details, and so much gravitas in it, and I'm just so utterly touched by his creation and his willingness to push himself out of his comfort zone with such a poignant piece of art. I cherish the conversations he and I shared about grief we'd individually experienced, and I truly can't thank him enough for what he created here. As such, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to his beloved "Maggy."

One of the things I love about fandom in general is the ability to explore fictional characters and themes and to remix them with all sorts of interests and emotions, and this scene in particular has always meant a lot to me. It was waiting for the right impetus and artist to really do it justice and create a scene that the viewer could really sink into. I so deeply appreciate Sam being open to chasing it, and for being open to taking the time to really bring it to life through-and-through.

Please check out this chapter on Archive of Our Own to see all of the gorgeous art and links to both artists' social media pages!

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Author's Remarks:

Ah, back into the thick of these complex layers of angst again! I've been looking forward to writing this scene and following up about all that happened since the Pack arrived in Symkaria, split up, and had one heck of an eventful evening!

There were a number of meaty plot bits in this chapter, including peeling back the layers on a few mysteries we're tracking…

· * Ikaka! - Wakandan Translation: Shit!

· So that Electrical Node… - So apparently that misfiring node not only electrocuted Barnes, but it also burned him. :( Barnes, why didn't you say something?!

· 'Playin' Pretend' - We learned a little more about what Barnes saw when he was across town (and Shuri, Yama, and Nombe learned about it to begin with), and we were reminded that Bucky probably didn't remember the Symkaria stuff that Barnes does...

· Shuri and Ayo - I enjoy that both of these characters went a little out of line in prior chapters in order to pursue a lead, and now each of them is equally annoyed at the other… even though they both got 'creative' with their hour of leisure time in Aniana. Pot and kettle indeed.

· Brain Stuff - …But hey? There's a silver lining that the recent scans Shuri got might have some new data that could be useful in trying to uncover what's going on in Barnes's brain at least?

· Black Widows - This bit was interesting to dig into a little. It certainly makes you wonder, doesn't it…?

· The Strange Perimeter in Downtown - Another little thing that makes you wonder what that's all about…?

· Barnes's Confession - I think we've all had a time in our lives where we got in too deep. I feel for this poor man who was trying to do the right thing, but didn't go about it the right way… :(

· Steve and the Train - …And the stuff with Steve is… a particularly rough topic to swallow. :( The idea of Barnes lying bleeding and broken at the bottom of a jagged ravine listening for trains and hoping for a rescue that never came… woof! :( :( :(

· One more thing about Ayrthon… - One thing I wanted to mention in the last chapter was that it was important to me to try and make the thief (or attempted thief) empathetic. It'd be all too easy to just try to cast everyone in the world as unilaterally "good" or "bad," but I wanted to make sure that the target of Barnes's self-made 'mission' was more than just a cardboard cutout of a "bad guy." While it took me longer between updates for Chapter 89 and Chapter 90 than I might've liked, I was really happy to finally feel like I was able to strike the right balance, because at the end of the day, Ayrthon was indeed making some bad decisions along the way, but I'd like to think he wasn't truly evil. Poorly intentioned? Sure. But between his concern about Barnes having seizures and his willingness to redirect conversation to throw 'The Vigilante' off the trail from those girls he was talking about, it was nice to see he wasn't only thinking of himself.

· Chapter Title Origins: Refraction and Recalibration - The title of this chapter is a two-part nod first to Refraction, as in the actual scientific term for what Shuri observed some of her scans of Barnes's brain where the shadows of where the nails used to be caused issues with the signals in his brain, as well as the metaphor of the idea that recovery isn't a straight line. In terms of the 'Recalibration' bit, it's meant to be a nod to the fact that not only is Barnes's arm and the electrical node in need of repair, but his relationship with the people around him requires a fair amount of recalibration after everything that's happened, since no one — Barnes included — planned for things to go as off-the-rails as they did.

· Fun Fact: WotWW Timeline - So about three years ago when I was first working on the outline for this story, I realized there was going to be a lot happening over a compressed period of time, so I made myself a little timeline in a side document to help keep things straight. I originally just labeled each day with a shorthand: "Day 0 (Bucky goes to sleep and has "Tsunami" dream), Day 1 (WotWW Starts. Bucky and Sam train in Delacroix and then are called away to Symkaria), Day 2 (Bucky and Sam explore Symkaria and contact Ayo, and then fly to Wakanda)," and so on. But eventually I tossed in some actual calendar dates to help make things a bit more tangible and to thread them into canon as best I could. A lot more pieces of MCU media have come out in the time since, but I imagined that because events Endgame were supposed to happen in 2023, and the events of TFATWS were supposed to take place in early 2024, and we had no idea about Wakanda Forever at the time, it tracked that this story could take place in mid August of 2024. So now I'm sitting here, smiling and shaking my head at how we've somehow caught up to this "far off" real calendar date of August 2024, and it makes me excited for what the future holds. :)

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