Chapter Six
Redamancy
"So, we're just picking a random person to turn and then kill them?" Jeremy asked from the backseat of Klaus' SUV.
"Don't worry about it mate, Stefan has the pleasure of choosing." Klaus answered, covering his face with an evil grin and looking back at Stefan.
"I'm not here to play games Klaus, I just want to save Elena and my brother." He replied, turning his gaze out the window. He understood he would have to sacrifice a human life, to save his brother and to give Elena hope again. Maybe he could find human life that was not so innocent.
"You're a monster, Damon and you deserve to die." Elena continued in her icy voice, pacing around the small cell.
"Stop it, Elena." Damon begged, trying to shift from the grasping arms around him. All his injuries were completely healed now but he still remained weak, not strong enough to move, let alone escape. The real Elena moved her position into something more comfortable after spending what felt like hours on her knees. She moved backwards into a seated position with her body leaning against the cot and her legs straight without letting go of Damon's body.
"She's not real, Damon, I am." She took a pause before continuing. She had to prove she was the real Elena. "Do you remember when we danced at the Mikaelson Ball?" She asked in a quiet voice. Damon remained silent.
"I remember you told me that you loved me that evening and I responded in the worst possible way. You were just trying to protect me, and I threw it back in your face." She moved her hands up to his face so she could tilt his head back so their eyes could meet. Damon's stare was vacant, like he was listening but not responding. "I'm sorry for doing that. I took your love for granted, and that was wrong of me."
After what seemed like hours of immobility, Damon began moving one of his hands back to his chest, where he started to claw at his shirt. Elena was confused about his actions until she assumed what Damon was planning to do. The hunter's curse was created to bring down the vampire too and the only method Damon had was heart removal. Elena's face became pale with fear, she knew if Damon was full strength she wouldn't be able to stop him and even while weakened by vervain she was worried she still wouldn't be strong enough. Her mind had to wonder what ghost Elena was saying to convince him to end his life.
"Where are your emotions, Damon?" Elena asked harshly, kneeling down and placing her hands on his chest.
"They're not here, Elena. Because of you!" Damon's spat, bringing up his hands to remove her hands away.
"Did I break your heart?" She asked with a fake pout.
"God, you're sounding like Katherine." Elena heard that name come from Damon's lips, and it ran a chill up her spine. Having similarities with her selfish doppelgänger was one of her worst fears. "Just leave me alone, Elena." He said, pushing her away and shifting to his side in Elena's lap. "I don't love you anymore."
Elena's heart wilted, hearing him say that he wasn't in love with her anymore. She knew he was emotionless right now, but she was still scared. If Damon was to come back, she begged that wouldn't be true.
"You're already alone, Damon. I don't want you here, Stefan doesn't want you here and your only friend is dead."
"Shut up!" He yelled.
"You could easily end the pain and loneliness, Damon." She said firmly with a narrowed look and then attacked him. Damon writhed and groaned as Elena's hand broke into his chest. "You just need to remove this." She whispered out in a darker tone, gripping her hand around his heart. The real Elena jumped in her skin and let out a scream of her own as she witnessed the gory and bloody hole that appeared on Damon's chest.
"Damon!" She gasped, bringing her hands down to the gushing wound. "What's happening?" She squirmed, as tears started burning her eyes.
"Stop, Elena. I don't want to die!" He yelled again, pulling at her hands.
The cell environment suddenly changed as a gust of air moved around, bringing up dust and the hallucination of Elena vanished. Her hands were removed from his chest and the excruciating pain subsided. Damon let out a struggling cough, trying to regain a normal breath, he looked around the cell through his blinking eyes, hoping not to find another tormentor.
"Damon..." Elena whispered. He suddenly realized he wasn't alone, and he felt a body holding him from behind. Still weak, unable to sit up he tilted his head back and looked up to see the weeping eyes of Elena.
"Elena. Is that the real you?" Damon asked in a broken voice.
"Yes, it's me Damon." She gave him a comforting smile. "Is she gone?" Damon replied with a subtle nod. Had Stefan lifted the curse or was a different ghost on the way?
Elena knew that he was in a very vulnerable state right now and decided to take advantage, this was her best chance to bring Damon back. She burrowed deep, reaching for her strong feelings inside and let it all out to save him.
"I'm so sorry, Damon." She began, wrapping her hands around his neck. Damon only responded with a scoff, keeping his gaze from hers. "It's my fault."
"What's happening to me?" Damon asked in a choked voice and a confused expression over his face.
"It was a curse, Damon. The hunter you killed was spelled."
"Just my luck." He scoffed again, trying to find strength to sit up from her grasp. He needed blood to heal and the smell coming from the chest fridge was calling to him. Elena's grip tightened, keeping him over her lap.
"You need to stay, Damon."
"The hunter is dead, I don't want to be here anymore." He said bluntly.
Elena took a pause before asking a very important question.
"Why did you compel me, Damon?" He looked up and met her gaze.
"Which time?" The moment he heard the question he knew she regained the memories.
"Both, either. You and I met first, before my parents died. Why didn't you tell me?"
"It wouldn't make a difference." He replied bitterly.
"It could have, Damon. We met before any of this happened."
"Don't waste time on what if's, Elena." He replied. "You already have enough regrets about me."
"I don't regret anything that happened between us, Damon." She admitted.
"What about Denver?" He asked, blinking through his blue eyes.
"No, I don't regret the kiss. I felt a lot at that moment, mostly it scared me." Elena confessed as she stroked his hair. Damon felt a light inside, and the chains wrapped around the chest holding his emotions started to shake.
"It scared you?" He asked, not understanding. Damon had reflected on that memory many times and he would never describe it as scary.
"I've never felt like that before, not with anyone. It felt like a love I've never experienced before, and I wasn't ready for it." She admitted, remembering how she was pulled into him like a magnet, embracing into a passionate kiss. Damon shifted, feeling more emotion inside. "I've been so scared to admit it."
"Didn't matter though, it was always Stefan." He spat out, feeling some of the pain from that night.
"I said I can't do always anymore." She sniffled. A part of Damon believed what she was saying but the essence of pain wanted her gone.
"Just let me go, Elena. It's what you wanted." He said, closing his eyes, fighting the boiling up pain and his internal chest shaking violently. The switch, begging to be flipped.
"No, I can't..." She paused, feeling a sadness overwhelm her and tears falling from her eyes. "Please... Please come back to me!" Elena sobbed, holding his face in her hands.
The moment one of Elena's tears fell on his face, the chains shattered, and the chest burst open, bringing his humanity back but also the feelings he was running away from. He let out a strained scream and rolled down her legs and onto his stomach onto the cell floor. Elena moved quickly to his side, from his cries she realized she had brought him back and the pain had returned.
"I'm here, Damon. I'll help you through this." She said, rubbing her hand over his back and shoulders. Damon let out another scream and his body tensed, the eclipsing pain was back, his stomach felt like it was bearing stones, and his throat felt tight. He could feel tears running out both eyes and he collapsed in a sob. He was being tortured all over again.
"Why save me, Elena?" He let out in a broken and muffled voice.
"I realized I can't live without you, because of what I feel for you..." She let out breathlessly, not knowing if he heard her confession.
Stefan struggled making such a choice, but it had to be done. Of course, Klaus wouldn't stop talking during the whole scene and Jeremy was very hesitant, but they managed to turn a vampire and have Jeremy kill it, causing his tattoo to grow and the curse to be lifted. Stefan was eager to go back to see if Damon had survived and Elena was safe. Before getting to the boarding house, he had to drop off Jeremy.
"Listen Jeremy, I can't compel you, so you need to keep this a secret. The more people know about the cure, the more risk of losing it and your sister needs it." Stefan explained to Jeremy before he got out of the car.
"I agree, I want my sister back, but shouldn't we at least tell her and Damon?" Jeremy asked with a quizzical look. He didn't understand why Stefan wanted to keep such an important thing from the people that were stuck at the center of this.
"It's her only hope." Stefan said, bringing his gaze down.
"I'll keep it to myself for now, but we'll need to tell them eventually." Jeremy agreed before getting out of the car and walking into his house. He was the hunter now, he needed to be protected but also needed to be trained in better ways to slay vampires. Before turning in, Jeremy thought about who would be teaching him.
Stefan entered the boarding house after a long and tiring day, eager to see them he moved toward the cellar door but overheard a conversation from the floor beneath. Stefan stilled when he heard Elena's voice saying something about not regretting a kiss. Stefan leaned against the door jab and continued to listen. He wasn't surprised by what he had heard but it didn't make it hurt any less. He choked back, embracing his denial and descended the stairs. He unlocked the cell and found Elena holding a curled-up Damon. For a moment, nothing was said until Stefan spoke.
"You saved him?" He said without meaning it to sound like a question.
"So did you." She replied, looking up at him through tear-stained eyes.
An hour later, they had both helped Damon to his room, along with some blood bags and left him to recover. They barely exchanged anything before Elena left, heading home and eager to put this day to bed. Both Stefan and Elena knew they needed to talk tomorrow.
Damon woke with the morning sun hitting his face. He groaned and moved over his bed, noticing he was still wearing yesterday's clothes and covered in dirt. After downing four bags of blood last night, his body had recovered from the vervain and wounds but by the morning, there was still some subtle soreness. A hot shower would be an easy solution. After showering and finding fresh clothes he made his way to the kitchen. While pouring a glass of blood, he noticed the stillness of the house. It was dead quiet. It was early in the morning, so he assumed his brother and Elena were still sleeping. At the painful thought of overhearing them wake up together he blurred out of the kitchen and out the front door to his car. While opening his door he spotted the absence of Stefan's Porsche and Elena's car was gone too. He couldn't remember what happened after they both helped him to his room last night. Elena must be at home and Stefan would've followed. Damon sat down behind the steering wheel, not wanting to think about them anymore. He searched his feelings, and it hurt, this pain was never ending. He needed a drink, but he also had to do something, something he couldn't put off anymore.
Stefan and Elena had exchanged morning texts and agreed to meet at her house to talk about everything. Stefan knocked on the front door of the Gilbert house and waited with his hands in his pockets. He knew this conversation was going to be painful, he had heard everything that Elena said to bring Damon's humanity back. He was also feeling a lot of guilt about keeping Jeremy and the cure a secret. He was unsure whether to tell her if she asked the matching questions, he didn't want to cover a lie with more lies. He was doing all of this for her.
Elena herself wasn't looking forward to the talk, she was feeling guilty herself after admitting her feelings to Damon in an effort to save him. But she was also still angry and confused on why Stefan had taken a back seat in saving Damon. Yes, Stefan had lifted the curse with the help of Bonnie, but it didn't explain how he acted on the day she left for Richmond. She was already feeling emotional before she opened the door and found him leaning against the porch. She didn't know how to begin. She wanted to ask about Damon's condition but decided it wasn't the best place to start.
"Hey." Stefan began, breaking the glacier of ice between them.
"Hey." She replied, wrapping her arms around herself. "You broke the curse just in time." Elena wanted to know how he and Bonnie did it. "How?"
"Shane, the occult professor, he knows all about it." He half explained.
"Thank god, Damon was close to dying." She remembered watching the large wound slowly healing over Damon's sternum when they placed him on his bed.
"He's fine, Elena." Stefan said dryly, having checked his brother this morning. Elena's body language changed, feeling a relief. This was her opening to ask.
"Why, Stefan? You saved him from the curse but before, you didn't call Liz. It seemed like you didn't care." Stefan's body language changed from hearing her pointed question. He straightened up and pulled his hands out of his pockets.
"I wanted to put you first, Elena. You were my first priority. Last time I sacrificed my brother for you it didn't go well." Stefan finally admitted, remembering all the evil he did for Klaus and the guilt that followed.
"I wasn't putting myself first, Damon needed us." She explained, her voice shining with compassion.
"You also needed help too, Elena." He said, not going through the list of all the elements of vampirism that she was struggling with. He turned away from her and sat down on the stairs.
"You used to trust me, Elena." He said, looking down at his feet. "You trust him." Elena moved and sat down on the stairs. She took a breath and replied.
"After what he's done for us, of course I do. I didn't mean to not..."
"C'mon, Elena. I mean after everything we've been through, you can admit it." He interrupted.
"You overheard, didn't you?" She asked, having a suspicion that Stefan was there listening last night. He only nodded in response, not wanting to rehash what he heard.
"Somethings changed between me and Damon. I felt so much when I hurt him. I was sad, angry and so full of guilt. But there was something else. It's much more than it used to be, it's like everything I felt for him before I was a vampire..."
"Has been magnified. Your feelings for him have been magnified." He interrupted again, with a defeated expression across his brow.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to lie to you." She said, making Stefan feel more guilty about lying.
"Before, when I was the ripper. I understood why you cared for him. But after…" He trailed off. "I can't do this Elena, not anymore." After hearing Elena admit it, his denial wasn't intact anymore. Everyone knew Damon was in love with Elena for over a year and now she was reciprocating, Stefan couldn't take it anymore. As much as he loved her, he couldn't do it any longer.
"I know." Elena said. The moment Stefan heard it his heart broke. They had been through so much only for it to end here. Without any other words he gave Elena a flat frown and walked away.
The next morning started with sunshine but by midday it had become overcast with gray clouds, giving the Mystic Falls cemetery a gloomy feel which Damon thought was appropriate as he reached the gravestone of his deceased friend.
"Hey pal." Damon began, taking a swig from his bourbon. "Sorry I took so long." The wind started to pick up as Damon walked around the newest gravestone, littered with bundled wildflowers. "I turned it off." He confessed.
"I couldn't handle it, the grief and the..." He drank again and looks down at the name Alaric Saltzman engraved in bronze. "I know what you're gonna say... 'You're an idiot Damon, So what? I did what I had too." Damon moved forward and sat down on the stone and continued. "I feel like I have a hole in my heart because you died, or it's because of Elena." He scoffed. "Ha, Elena. I don't even know what to think around her anymore." Damon took a breath before he spelled out everything that happened since.
"She saved me, you know." He took a pause, recalling what happened in the boarding house cellar last night.
"I don't know if she meant what she said or if it was just a tact to flip my switch." He shook his head and took a final sip, leaving two fingers remaining in the bottle. He leaves the bourbon on the stone and gets up to leave. "I guess I have to ask her."
After her break up talk with Stefan, Elena noticed an ache in her gums and a crazed hunger in the pit of her belly, she needed to feed, urgently. It had been over 24 hours since she last fed. She walked back into her house and to the kitchen hoping to find something to help with her need for human blood. She tried some toast with coffee, but it didn't work. Luckily, Jeremy wasn't home, otherwise there would be a potential vampire attack waiting to happen. She shook her head, not wanting to think about hurting her brother. She hadn't been a vampire for long and she was already sick of the bloodlust, sick of the constant pull that could potentially have her hurt someone. She pulled out her phone and texted Matt. After agreeing to meet at the Grill again she scrolled to Damon's name in her contacts.
With him back, it was time to learn how to feed from strangers and to control the bloodlust. She hesitated for a moment, it was only yesterday when she admitted having feelings for Damon, feelings that she had been holding on to for a long while. Now that she was single, she was feeling nervous but also guilty about hurting Stefan. She took a deep breath and dialed. Learning to feed was the priority right now so she put her emotions in the back of her mind. The call went to voicemail. Elena became worried, she had no idea what Damon's current state was like. He had survived a curse that tortured him into killing himself and also regained his humanity back, which would've included a tidal wave of emotions. She finished her breakfast which hadn't stifled her cravings at all and scooped up her car keys and made her way to the Grill. After feeding from her friend she was going to the Salvatore house, seeking Damon before meeting up with Caroline.
"What!? You broke up?" Caroline screeched into her phone.
"Yeah." Stefan replied.
"When did this happen?" She asked. Wanting to know what happened to the ideal couple.
"This morning." He answered.
"Why, what happened? I know she's been having a hard time. I had to stop her from feeding on April at the memorial, but breaking up…" She trailed off.
"She said she has feelings for Damon." Stefan said as he fell back onto the forest floor, looking up at the overhanging trees.
"What!" She yelled. "What is going on with her? She made her choice, I told her she had to choose."
"She's a vampire, Caroline. Everything is different now."
"Yeah, I know. I'll talk to her."
"I don't know if that'll help, being a vampire really has changed her."
"I'll do my best to shake some sense into her clearly diseased brain and you need to find a healthy distraction. Remember to sublimate." She advised.
"I'll be fine. Bye." Stefan hung up and was suddenly surprised by another incoming call, Klaus's name appeared on the screen.
Elena arrived at the boarding house with a nervous feeling mixed with awkwardness. She was here to talk to Damon, but she knew there was a risk of seeing Stefan too and being in the same room with her ex and the reason for their breakup being Damon would make a very uncomfortable situation. She took a shallow breath and walked in the front door only to run into a hard chest shrouded in black leather.
"Whoa! On a mission, are we?" Damon grinned at Elena. She was taken by the sudden moment, and she felt her heart hum at the unexpected proximity. She backed away to speak but she couldn't find any words. Her eyes went to his and then to the floor. "Awkward silence…What, what did I do now?" Damon asked with a shrug. She was actually surprised to see him in a positive mood.
"Have you talked to Stefan?" She said, barely able to hold eye contact.
"No, about what?" He shrugged.
Elena took a pause, she realized the news of her breakup hadn't reached everyone yet, especially the one person that needed to know the most.
"You don't know..."
"About what?" He asked again. Elena took another moment to think if this was the time to tell him. Maybe it was, but she thought back to her important reason for seeing him.
"Don't worry about it, I wanted to ask you something?"
"Me?" A smirk met his lips. "Can you ask while I drive? Apparently, I'm needed at the Lockwood mansion." He explained as he passed her on his way to his car. A small smile came across Elena's face as she replied.
"That works well actually, Caroline wants me there too." She exclaimed and followed him outside.
"Oh, by all means then." Damon smiled as he led her outside to his car.
The Camaro only got out of the long driveway before Damon peered at Elena, waiting for her to talk.
"I'm still feeding from Matt, but I can't do it anymore. I want you to show me how to feed, how to control it without hurting people."
"Why me? I understand why Stefan can't but why not Blondie?" Damon had to ask.
"She doesn't know how hard it is, and her diet is blood bags. I need to know how to control myself around people. I need you, you're the best at control." She explained while looking down at her hands in her lap.
"Do you just give me a compliment?" He asked, shifting his head to glance enough to show her his smirk. Elena tried to bite back a small smile, but it didn't work.
"Will you help me?" She asked looking up to find his gaze.
"I can't say no when you say nice things about me." His smirk shaped into a smile.
"I don't want to do it in Mystic Falls." She added. Damon didn't need to reply, he understood her reasoning. Elena would never want to risk hurting people, especially in a small town where she knew mostly every resident. Elena wanted to go over a plan, but she was enjoying the ride in Damon's beloved vehicle. Looking out ahead into the road her mind fell back into memory of last night when she bought Damon back and the things she said to do it.
Had Damon heard what she said?
It didn't seem like he did or was he just not talking about it. Damon's voice brought Elena back to reality.
"Thank you, Elena." He said in a soft tone without taking his eyes off the road. Elena wanted to ask why but he continued. "You saved me, from myself." Elena was breathless for a moment, realizing his walls were down. It was a rarity around everyone else, Damon showing his vulnerable side, but Elena was the only one that ever got to see it and it felt like eternity since she last saw it.
"You don't have to thank me, Damon. You would've done the same for me." Indeed, that was true. "It wasn't easy though." She added giving him a look. Damon thought for a moment, was this the time to talk about everything that had happened. There was so much to go over, this short car ride was definitely not long enough.
"Yeah, sorry about that." He replied, holding back. Just as he predicted, the Camaro reached the Lockwood property.
"Damon..." Elena said, wanting to continue the conversation. But he interrupted her as he parked the car.
"I can't believe it's the Miss Mystic Falls pageant again, I swear this town had too many events." He complained, changing the subject but without yet realizing that this event actually meant a lot to the both of them. It had been a year to the day, well almost, since Damon had saved Elena from being abandoned and embarrassed as he waited at the bottom of the spiral stairs, watching her gracefully descend in that blue dress.
As Damon got out of his car. he smiled to himself remembering the way it was when they danced. The magic of their near touch, their holding eyes, the way they moved together during the waltz and the feelings that bubbled up in him once they stepped back from each other.
Damon looked over at Elena as she stood out of the car, and he watched as the wind gathered up her perfectly straight hair. He couldn't quite pinpoint the moment he fell in love with Elena Gilbert. There were so many moments that showed him the person that she was. That moment in her kitchen when she apologized to him for losing Katherine, or when she hugged him after not finding Katherine in the tomb. But he could easily remember being enchanted by her on the day of Miss Mystic Falls.
"I'm only here to meet with Carol to give her a donation." He explained. Elena circled around the car to be closer.
"I'm here to help Caroline set things up." She spoke. "Hopefully she won't keep me all day."
"Oof, you have a rough day ahead." He joked with playfulness behind his eyes.
"Caroline isn't that bad." She replied but not actually believing her own words. She knew Caroline can be a menace when it comes to planning events.
"I did bring you here, so I'll wait around until Blondie releases you from her tentacles." He smirked and she let out a laugh. It had been so long since Elena laughed and of course it was Damon's humor that made it happen. She smiled warmly at him.
"We should talk more but I better find her."
"Just find me when you're done." He grinned before moving past her towards the mansion. Elena smiled again as she watched his body disappear up the stairs into the house. She wanted to take a moment to think about the things she would say to him later, but she was interrupted by a blonde vampire.
"Elena, hello!" Caroline waved as she descended the stairs.
"I'm here, Care. What are we doing?"
"Na, ah." She said with her hands on her hips. "What are you doing with Damon!?"
"Relax, he just gave me a ride here." Elena explained. Elena knew Caroline was going to have judgment and about four hundred different opinions about her situation between the Salvatore brothers. She really didn't want to discuss it here but that wouldn't stop Caroline.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I'm assuming you talked to Stefan." Elena said as she began walking in stride with Caroline.
"Yes, he's heartbroken and he needed to talk to someone."
"I'm glad he has you, Care."
"I'm not taking sides, I just wanted to know what happened. Stefan said you have feelings for Damon."
"You've known about my feelings for him longer than I have. But now..." Elena trailed off.
"Now you're feeling more, because you're a vampire." Caroline understood.
"Yes." Both girls moved through the house and made it to the courtyard where many people were setting up tables and arranging flowers.
"Is Stefan, okay?" Elena asked as they sorted through freshly cut flowers. She didn't want to hurt Stefan like this, but it was unavoidable.
"Not really, he mentioned bloodlust, but I talked to him. I'll keep him from spiraling." Elena gave her friend a thankful smile.
"I still love him Caroline but it's different now, like I feel it less, differently. And Damon…"
"Yes?" She pressed with flat lips. Elena didn't want to explain more so she was grateful when they were interrupted by Professor Shane asking for directions.
The rest of the day moved along, and it began to fall into a late afternoon by the time Damon had taken Elena back to the boardinghouse to retrieve her car. The same dark gray clouds condensed over the town as a light rain started to fall.
"Bonnie mentioned she was going to Whitmore college tomorrow, I thought we could take her, and we could..." Elena suggested.
"Oooh, a college campus. It's a good place for learning the ropes." Damon inserted. "Sorority girls everywhere." He smirked. Elena rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help feeling a wave of jealousy pass through her mind. That was a mental image she didn't want. It all faded quickly when she felt Damon's hand touch her shoulder.
"Don't worry, okay. I won't let you hurt anyone." He reassured her.
They were both standing under the sheltered car port opposite the entrance as the rain got heavier.
"Thank you." She said, looking up at him with a smile. For some reason the rain made the moment feel more intense for her and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but Damon still didn't know about the breakup. This was a good enough time to tell him.
"Damon, I..." She started but the front door swung open showing a stoic looking Stefan which didn't match up with what Caroline said about him. Elena gave a silent prayer that he wasn't drinking human blood again.
"Brother! Been a few days. I heard you and little Gilbert are the ones I need to thank about that pesky curse." Damon let out in a rush but didn't move away from Elena.
"Don't mention it." Stefan replied dryly, even though he was in pain and couldn't stand the sight of them together, he wanted to try and be civil.
"You wouldn't believe that messed up crap I saw." Damon replied as he moved over the threshold and into the house, seeking bourbon and Elena slowly followed him. She couldn't help feeling uncomfortable, but she stayed to listen. Stefan turned to his brother.
"You saw father." He said and Damon's body stilled at his words for a moment but continued to pour a drink.
"You realized that huh? I got to experience that stupid knife of his." Damon spat before downing his drink. Stefan wasn't sure what to say. Damon's relationship with his father wasn't an easy one but now, being tortured as a vampire by a family member who hated vampires with a passion would have been hell. The sound of the door closing drew Damon's attention to a still Elena that was staring at him.
"Oh, it got worse than father." Damon said, his eyes narrowed on her. "Evil Elena was something else." He said, shaking his head at the memory. Stefan wanted to know more but Elena stepped forward.
"I heard your responses, Damon. You know it wasn't me, right? I was there holding you, but it wasn't me." She said in a voice that was slightly shaky.
"I realized that afterwards, but I didn't before." He looked down and then took another gulp of whiskey.
"You're already alone, Damon. Stefan doesn't want you here.
I don't want you here."
Elena's dark truthful words rattled through his mind, causing a pinching pain over his heart.
"What did she say, Damon?" Elena asked.
"I really don't want to relive it, Elena." She took a moment, hearing his words. She knew it was bad. He had screamed and compared her to Katherine and then watched in horror as that awful hole in Damon's chest appeared.
"She tried to kill you, didn't she?" She asked, staying in a third person view. Not wanting to be any part of her other version.
"Yeah, that wasn't fun." He answered, keeping it short but he decided to continue. "I could hear your voice sometimes too." He pointed at Elena with his empty glass.
Sometimes.
That word hit Elena like a wall, now she knew that Damon may or may not have heard her confession at the end or any of the other things she said to save him. She took in a breath before asking.
"Did you hear what I said about that time at the Mikaelson ball?" She asked and Stefan's mood changed remembering that night himself, watching Elena dancing with his brother and then later listening to her talk about him. He wondered if more happened between them that night.
"Yes, I heard your apology about that." Damon murmured and Elena smiled with relief, at least he got to hear that. Stefan was confused at Damon's answer. Elena's apology? That didn't make sense. Damon was the one that ruined that party by taking out Kol.
Elena wanted to ask about everything else, but she couldn't do it in front of Stefan. She turned her gaze to him and his eyes met hers. Stefan knew what she was silently asking. He couldn't help but give both of them an icy look before retreating to his bedroom.
"What's his problem?" Damon shrugged as he noticed his brother's strange exit. Then he realized something weird, Stefan and Elena weren't being lovey-dovey at all, they weren't even talking.
"He…we..." Elena went to explain. She's been wanting to tell him all day but now she was struggling to get it out. She looked up into his ocean-colored eyes and felt the strength she needed.
"We broke up." She let out in a breath.
Now Damon was being hit with words that felt like a wall. Broke up? What happened this time and how long would it be before they're back together? His heart shook with more pain just thinking about having to watch this teen drama all over again but it was Elena. He needed to reassure her.
"Sorry, but you'll figure things out. You guys always do." He said flatly but letting the last vowel hang in the air. Elena should've expected this, Damon didn't know anything about the breakup. All he knew is that she chose Stefan and left Damon to die alone. Her heart swelled up, knowing he was still carrying that pain. She felt it was time to admit her feelings to the vampire in front of her.
"Not this time, Damon. And I don't want it." She began as she moved closer to him.
"What happened?" He asked, putting his glass down on a table.
"Everything!" She suddenly yelled. She didn't mean to raise her voice, but the heightened feelings felt like an overflowing dam, and it was breaking.
"Elena..." He said in a soft voice as he noticed her fragile state. He moved forward and embraced her, wrapping his arms around her back to hug her.
"I've been feeling so much ever since I turned, Damon." She whimpered into his shoulder, with her arms coming around, mirroring his.
"I know and I'm sorry, Elena. I should've been there for you, Stefan asked me but I couldn't…"
"I know why you couldn't Damon and I'm the reason why." She sobbed, gripping him tighter. Damon wanted to say it wasn't her fault but he couldn't lie to her.
He never wanted to lie to her.
Losing Ric and being hurt by her was the reason he turned it off.
"I won't lie, Elena. It hurts, it's always hurting." He confessed and he began to pull away but Elena was having none of it. Using her vamp strength she tightened more, holding him like a piece of wood in a vice. The hug was helping so she didn't want it over.
"Losing Ric and that call from you.." He whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Damon." Tears started building up in the corner of lashes. "I've been feeling like absolute crap about that night. The guilt feels like endless drowning."
Her words traveled straight to Damon's heart, feeling like a burning nail. He knew it was selfish to flip the switch. Elena was going through a massive life change, and he abandoned her.
But...
The pain.
The rejection. Again.
Being left alone to die.
Grief mixed with heartbreak.
He just wanted it gone more than he wanted to be there for Elena, she had Stefan after all. But not anymore, apparently.
Going back on what she said, Damon tried to lighten the mood.
"I don't think I've heard you say crap before." He let out a muffled laugh. Elena heard his attempt at humor to make them feel better but she couldn't laugh. Damon moved his arms back around her body again as she continued to weep into his shirt.
"That was a messed-up night, Elena. You went through hell too, everyone did. All the vampires in your life were expected to die…and...you died." He choked. Elena couldn't reply because his words were making her cry more. "I don't want you drowning anymore, Elena." He took a few breaths, shifting back so his gaze could find her eyes, but her face was still buried in his shirt. He couldn't handle seeing her like this. So, he closed his eyes to find all the remaining strength he had. It wasn't easy.
"I…forgive you." He whispered. He needed to see her face as he said those words and meant them. He moved a hand up to her face, taking her chin and lifting her head up to see her watery eyes. "I forgive you, Elena." He said in a choked voice and just like the first time he confessed his love for her, a single tear fell from his eye.
"Damon..." She let out in a weep. Her face was tear-streaked now, and her eyes were shaded in a light red. The sight was enough to break Damon all over again.
"It's okay." He gripped her tight and pulled her head back down to rest in the same spot. Damon had forgiven her, and knowing that, her dam broke completely. Although it hurt, it was desperately needed. Wave after wave of emotions washed over Elena as she cried it all out. Hearing her cries broke Damon into pieces and he couldn't help but follow her along, releasing all the pain he had endured in the last several days.
Time seemed to pause or not exist at all as they both held each other and cried out their pain. Damon had never felt this vulnerable in his entire life and it scared him. None of his walls were up. But he was glad, almost happy, despite the fear, because he was sharing it with her. When they finally broke away and found each other's watery eyes, they smiled and laughed. They actually laughed together. Letting out all that pain, guilt and grief was rehabilitating. Damon moved his hand up again to catch the last falling tears from Elena's face. Her heart quickened at the contact and a different feeling overtook her. The feeling she's been denying for months. She held a hopeful smile and then asked.
"You remember all of it, don't you?" She asked softly, testing her theory, he smiled back.
"Yes, I know everything you said." He moved his hand back down to her side and took her hand. "Was it real? Or was it just you saving me?" He asked with a hopeful expression. Elena knew exactly what he was asking.
"I realized I can't live without you, because of what I feel for you.."
With her rapidly thumping heart, Elena moved her hand in his and interlocked their fingers.
"Real." She simply said in the softest voice you could imagine.
The Earth beneath Damon's feet seemed to speed up and stop at the same time. He was falling, or was it floating? The room he was standing in hummed, and the colors became brighter. The natural wood seemed new and freshly polished, the smell of the falling rain outside intensified as did the perfume radiating off the beautiful woman in front of him. He focused his eyes, taking in her sincere expression. She was being honest, and she was admitting what he always wanted to hear. With this overwhelming feeling consuming him, he also realized that he must've been the reason for their breakup.
"So, the breakup..."
"Real." She sniffled. "Because of my feelings for you..." She confessed.
Finally confessed. No more denial, no more fear. She wanted that consuming love, that passion and plenty of adventure with him. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him to prove how serious she was, she wanted to kiss him badly. She knew Damon would reciprocate, but it didn't feel right. It was very likely Stefan overheard the entire exchange, and she didn't want to hurt him more. Elena also didn't want him around when she took this step with Damon. Instead of moving in for the kiss she moved her gaze up to the stairs in the direction of Stefan's room and Damon noticed. Before his insecurities could rise up, Elena put him at ease.
"I should talk to him, he doesn't know about tomorrow." She reluctantly pulled her hand out of his and began walking to the stairs. She looked back at Damon and he gave her a smile, silently telling her that he understood.
"I'll see you in the morning." He said and she nodded with a smile.
Elena knocked on Stefan's door because just walking in felt wrong now. He told her to enter in a muffled voice. She found him sitting at his desk, hovering over an open journal. She didn't know it but he was reading early entries that included the beginning of their relationship. He knew it was a cliche but the feeling was better than the bottomless pit of heartbreak. But reliving the past was barely taking the edge off.
"Stefan." Elena said as she stopped in the center of the room.
"What is it, Elena?" He asked in a dry voice without looking up.
"I wanted to tell you..."
"You told Damon about the breakup." He interrupted, his eyes coming up to find hers.
"Yes but that's not what I was going to say. I'm going to learn how to feed tomorrow." Stefan gave her a furrowed brow so she clarified. "Damon is taking me to a college campus. I need to learn, I can't keep feeding off Matt." She explained and Stefan took a pause that was way too dramatic.
"Damon, huh? Why not Caroline?"
"Are you asking that because it's Damon?" She asked, crossing her arms. Stefan ignored the mention of Damon's name and wanted to know why Damon over Caroline. But of course he also didn't want his brother spending time with Elena, knowing how they felt about each other.
"Caroline is an expert at control, she's the smart choice." He tried as he stood up, pushing his chair back. Elena held her defensive position.
"The plan is already in place and Bonnie is coming with us." She defended instead of explaining. Stefan didn't respond, he only stared at her. He was clearly waiting for the reasoning.
"Caroline doesn't feed from people, Damon is the only one that can help me." She explained but he didn't accept it.
"Do whatever you want, Elena." He let out as he moved away from his desk.
"I know you're hurt Stefan, but we still have to be around each other. With everything going on..."
"I would prefer it if we had some space from each other." He interrupted her again. Seeing less of her would hurt but seeing her more around Damon would be worse.
Elena only nodded, understanding his feelings. She then quickly looked around his room, spotting a few of her belongings, mostly clothes and a hairbrush. It wasn't a great time to collect such things but she didn't want to be back in this room again. It felt wrong and it oddly felt like a betrayal, it wasn't the room she wanted her things to be in.
"Can I?" Elena asked, breaking the silence and pointing at a folded sweater sitting on his reading chair. Stefan scoffed loudly, shaking his head. He couldn't believe Elena wanted to do that at this moment, he didn't want to lose everything about her.
"Fine." He said dismissively, breaking eye contact and moving over to his bed, not wanting to watch. Elena moved to the chair first, grabbing her sweater and then gathered her hairbrush from the dresser. After finding a few more items she was ready to leave.
Before turning away she spotted the framed picture of Stefan and herself. They were both smiling and the vervain necklace was clearly displayed on her chest. This was their chapter coming to an end. Elena was sad and feeling guilty, but a small light had settled in her heart. She was excited.
A consuming and passionate love was in her future, and it was so close, she could already feel it.