Annie sat on the cool concrete steps outside her old home. She cradled an open book against her forearms, her curled fingers clasped around the top edge of the pages. Only the sound of a car parking caused her to look up. Britta shot from the car. "Annie!" She called while wrapping the younger woman into a hug.
"Britta!" Annie returned the embrace of her friend, her eyes catching on the driver who had exited the car, standing still beside his open door.
Jeff Winger didn't seem surprised to see her; in fact, he wore a vague, emotionless mask that made her feel 2 centimeters tall.
The parade of questions started then, all from Britta, of course. "What are you doing here? How long have you been waiting? Why didn't you call? You haven't changed a bit." The last one wasn't a question, though it nearly sounded like one given her surprised inflection.
Annie was a little thrown back by the ferocity of her welcome, causing the first words out of her mouth to be. "I love your hair."
"Really? Gosh, I-" she continued, this time in a whisper. "I hate it."
"Okay." Annie warily replied.
"Sorry." She nudged her head to gesture behind her. "Somebody tried to talk me out of it. He gets smug when I complain."
"Oh." Annie was thankful Britta had given her an outright excuse to acknowledge him. "Hi, Jeff."
"Annie." He greeted with a curt nod, uninterested in any pleasantries or questions beyond one. "How long are you staying?"
She gulped, practically squirming in the coldness of his tone. "Indefinitely." She answered, her eyes unintentionally pleading for civility.
Britta jumped in excitement, while Jeff had to rein his desire to give her another curt nod. "Well, then I hope you don't mind me cutting the reunion a little short. I'm running a bit late."
"No, of course not." She nodded, embarrassed by the transparency of his apathy. "We have plenty of time to catch up."
"Great. We'll find some time. Britta. Annie. See you later." He finished, making no motion to approach her goodbye, or hello, for that matter, Annie noticed.
Jeff was overcome in a cavalcade of contradicting emotions. He wanted to yell at her, and he wanted to hug her, but more than anything, he wanted to hurt her and petty as it may have been, he made sure that he did. He ignored the immediate regret that came with seeing her face contorted in embarrassment and dejected disappointment.
It wasn't as if he owed it to her to drop his entire life just because she was back, completely out of the blue; so, he drove home with one word echoing in his head.
Indefinitely.
As Jeff drove away, Britta ushered her friend inside. "Don't mind him. He's probably just rushing so he doesn't leave Cheryl waiting."
"Cheryl?" Annie asked as subtly as she could manage.
"His girlfriend." Annie's stomach clenched as Britta continued while she unlocked the front door. "They've been dating for a couple months. Everyone will be so excited to hear you are back. I'll send out a mass invite to The Nippledippers." She laughed. "Don't worry, the nickname never actually stuck. Anyway, tonight is too soon, but I'm pretty sure I can get everyone to come out tomorrow. You can meet her then. She's really nice."
Annie had to take a moment upon re-entering the apartment for the first time in over 3 years. Even with some significant alterations, it still looked the same to her. Like an abandoned old dress found at the back of a closet, it reminded her of fond memories nearly a lifetime ago, but she knew, undoubtedly, she knew that she could try it back on and it would fit better than ever, this life. She was happy to be home. "So, she's close with the committee?" She asked shutting the door behind her.
"Yeah." Britta said from the kitchen. "She went to Greendale. Oh, but who cares about that? That is a story for tomorrow. What about you? Indefinitely, huh?"
Annie shrugged, feeling a little stupid. "It seems so."
"At first I thought you might be here for the memorial, but that's not for another month." Britta walked back with two glasses of red wine, handing Annie one of them.
"Memorial?" She took the glass. "Thank you."
"I guess you didn't get your invite in the mail, yet?"
"No, nor will I anytime soon, I'd bet." Annie gestured to her suitcase.
"Right." Britta nodded. "I only got mine a few days ago." She went back into the kitchen, pulling the card off of the fridge. She hurried back. "Courtesy of Troy Barnes."
She read the invitation. It was a memorial for Pierce Hawthorne, on the 5th anniversary of his death. "How is Troy?" Annie asked with a soft smile, still looking at the card in her hands.
"Great." Britta nodded. "He only stayed in town for about a week before following his soul mate to Los Angeles." Annie smiled, well aware that Britta wasn't teasing. 'Friendship' was too weak a descriptor for their bond. Focusing her attention back on Annie, Britta huffed. "But what about you? Where are you staying? Are you here for some assignment? We have so much to catch up on."
The younger woman smiled brightly, caught up in her friend's positive energy. "I was transferred. The Denver office was in need, so here I am." Shrugging, Annie pushed aside the topic of work, thankful to talk about something else for a change. "I've got a hotel while I'm searching for a place."
"What?" Britta shook her head. "This is your home. You shouldn't be staying in a hotel."
"Britta-" The brunette interjected, sure that she would be an imposition.
Britta continued. "Look, Annie, I'm not saying you should stay forever. If you want to move on and find your own place, I completely understand, but in the meantime, just-" She sighed. "Stay here. After so much time away from home, you know staying in a hotel is a dumb idea, right?" She challenged playfully, causing Annie to smirk in a way that let Britta know her friend wouldn't disagree. She leaned over and nudged Annie's knee. "It's so great that you're back. I missed you."
Annie smiled and turned to face Britta. "It's great to be back, I missed you too. Thanks for letting me stay. It'll be just until I find my own place." She sipped her wine.
Britta lightly scoffed. "Oh, please you are more than welcome. This place was your home long before it was mine."
"Will your roommate mind?"
The blonde gave her a toothy grin. "Annie, I don't have a roommate. I live here by myself."
"Really? How?" Annie attempted to rein in her shock as she sighed. "I'm sorry, that's a rude question, it's just when I came back at the end of the summer to…" She blushed and looked down, undeniably guilty.
"Pick up your stuff and vanish?"
Annie nodded, remembering her rushed visit more than 3 years prior. "Yeah," She reluctantly said. "Well, when I came back you said you were barely making ends meet and would have to take on a roommate, so I just assumed you had."
"It's okay." Britta laughed. "Bartending is no longer my primary source of income. I actually have 2 jobs now."
"Really?" Annie leaned in, transparently intrigued.
"Yeah, believe it or not, Winger's pitch made me think about what being a counselor might be like. It turns out it's kind of perfect for me." She beamed. "Even if I sold out, I feel necessary at Greendale. We really do have an eclectic group of traumatized individuals at that school."
Annie nodded. "Greendale is where the broken flock."
"We know that better than most." She agreed.
"I'm really happy for you, Britta. What's your second job?"
"Bartending." She drily laughed. "Yeah, the whole process of selling out started to get to me. I realized that the one thing I missed from work was the mess, chaos from day to day." She thought for a second. "Well, that and any drunks who find my psychological theories and," She whispered, "unofficial," continuing at regular volume, she smirked. "Diagnoses to be both interesting and helpful." She spoke quietly again as if divulging a secret, though they were the only people in the room. "And worthy of a nicer tip." She finished with a grin.
"That's great." Annie sighed in pleasant surprise.
Britta shrugged. "Eh, I mean as much as I hate to admit it, I just wanted more. I wanted to be proud of something." A gentle smile softened her pensive expression. "I needed to help people with more than just re-filling their glass." She laughed. "Now I can do both." Her content smile exuded her dedication as she recalled. "It's definitely the most potent solution. I think I've learned more about customers than I have from friends. Ian and I were talking about it the other day."
"Ian?" Annie smiled, though her eyes filled with genuine confusion. "Professor Duncan?"
Unconsciously, Britta was finally successful as she tucked a blonde wave behind her ear. "Yeah, that seems to be happening." She mirrored Annie's perplexed tone before shaking her head. "I don't know, it's weird, I-" She shrugged.
Annie grinned back at her. "Britta, are you giddy about him?"
Britta's eyes formed a scowl, but her smile didn't waver. "I'm never giddy."
Her friend lifted her hands in surrender. "I'll concede that. I don't know, I'm guessing you're nearly there." She resituated and leaned closer. "You want to talk about it?"
Britta thought for a moment. "Bechdel Test, be damned, I do." She laughed. "Jeff teases me, so I've had a hard time even processing it, but this feels a bit different from anything I've ever experienced."
"Really?" Annie's eyes widened. "How?"
She sighed. "I've seen his rock bottom, but it doesn't bother me. It makes me realize that, even if it is unintentional, he is one of, if not the most honest guy I've ever been involved with."
"How did this happen?"
"Well, after you left, I spent a year finishing up my psychology and humanities courses. I got my degree and pitched myself to the Dean. Ian was coming back from intensive therapy, which was practically rehab, and was in the same boat to get his old job back. He just seemed fresher, more engaging and I started to talk to him about my major and how I went back on my initial goal and settled. He related." Britta smirked. "We just talked like peers and that's how it's been for a while, but recently we've been working together, spit-balling an idea around and I realized how much I enjoyed spending time with him."
Annie smiled. "I believe you; I just have a hard time picturing Duncan as serious."
Britta nodded. "I always thought the same thing too, until," She sighed, her eyes enthralled in calculation. "About 5 years ago. We went to that charity event; do you remember?" She nodded. "Well, long story short, I was emotionally vulnerable, and he was there for me. He reminded me that my existence wasn't reliant upon other people's perception of me; that I'm still me, even without the world to witness it. And then he dropped me off at home. It made me realize that he really wasn't that bad of a guy." It had always resonated with Britta, reminding her that sometimes she could lose her identity in a group mentality. "I appreciated the depth." She smirked.
"So, how long have you been seeing each other?"
"A few weeks. It's not serious, it's just-" She grasped. "Different. In a good way."
"What have you guys been working on together?"
"Oh," she shook her head. "It's just playing around with a theory of intoxication therapy."
"Like how you explain working at the bar now?"
Britta nodded. "In a more controlled and academic setting, but essentially yes." She shrugged. "He and I are still forming a lot of ideas around it. After watching the Duncan Principle be disproven and being excluded from the majority of Abed's therapy in our second year, he kind of gave up on personal psychology. That is until, I started talking about the differences in the students I spoke with versus customers at my second job." She laughed and shook her head. "Except for these two regulars, Chip and Joe. I can't count them amongst typical interactions, they overshare. Even without those padded results, Ian encouraged me to follow that train of observation. He's already added so much helpful input with some broader aspects of the theory by being incredibly frank about his own substance abuse issues and the way it affects psychological wellbeing."
"So, you guys really talk?" Annie prodded gently, enjoying the view of so many cheerful expressions contorting her friend's often severe disposition.
"All the time. It mainly started about work, but then we began talking about what got us interested in psychology which quickly evolved into talking about our childhood." Thinking for a moment, Britta exhaled. "It was like the easiest thing, how we accidentally shared our life stories with one another."
Annie was practically baffled to hear such a romantic explanation from her jaded friend. "You really do like him."
She heavily sighed. "I actually do." She gulped her wine, having forgotten about it until she needed it most. "It's a slow-forming thing. He's not my boyfriend or anything, but we're spending time together and it's been nice." She theatrically shook her body. "Ugh, please topic change." She laughed. "I appreciate you letting me just, blah," Annie laughed. "But, I'm starting to have a hard time listening to myself. Please, tell me more about what you've been doing?"
Annie thought for a moment; though she and Britta had kept in touch, they spent very little time keeping each other informed about how different their lives had become. "Well, you know that I finished my 2 years in D.C. With my internship under my belt, a few complimentary recommendations, graduating with honors and a well-cultivated reputation," She proudly grinned. "I was hired." She sipped her wine. "I had to climb my way up, but I was determined to throw myself into work. After my first yearly review, they posted my transfer to the Denver office with a promotion. That was almost a month ago."
"That's amazing! I'm not surprised, though." Annie bashfully smiled. "How am I just hearing about this now? When do you start?"
She had the decency to look guilty. "At first everything was so hectic and busy, but once I finally had the time, I realized I'd prefer to surprise you, which is why I came here first. Well," She amended as she sipped her wine. "I just met with my new boss earlier; I'll be starting after the weekend."
"Indefinitely. Does that mean you're unlikely to be transferred again anytime soon?"
She nodded, thoroughly certain. "I'd say I'm definitely not at risk for a while, if ever."
"Are you happy about that? You aren't letdown about it, are you? Because if so, then I feel like a terrible friend to be excited to hear it."
Annie smiled and shook her head. "No, I've kept busy and really lived outside of home, you know? I feel relieved about being back. I missed this place." Sighing, she pulled her glass close before taking a gulp of her own. "Being away has made me feel imbalanced."
"Like you can't steady your equilibrium?"
Annie's brows lifted. "Exactly. Is that sad?"
"No," Britta laughed. "It's your home and you're finally back."
She couldn't deny the truth of that. "It is and I am."
Jeff's apartment was quiet, no more than usual, even so he felt it antagonizing him. It was as if the still silence amplified the emotionally wrought, incoherent thoughts that bellowed in his brain.
He had no answers, though he couldn't help but acknowledge his own fault for leaving without demanding some. He couldn't. Looking at her hurt and Jeff didn't know how to process the truly visceral ache that was plaguing him. Why?
Again, he cursed himself for walking away, though he doubted he could've been civil without being able to question her return. He didn't feel ready to see her again and yet here she was. Indefinitely.