Many thanks to everyone who has reached out over this story!

In all honesty, thinking back to when I started even considering writing this, I knew that it would be for a select few readers… after all, Haku wasn't all that popular of a character. However, I'm glad to be able to receive some feedback and I'm happy that there are people enjoying the writing :D Haku is such a precious baby and I'm having so much fun exploring his character!

Special thanks to FrenziedMaenad, victoriash and dearvolume12 from AO3 and Tainan republic from FFN for the lovely, lovely comments which made me write like a beast :D

Without further ado, enjoy!

Chapter 6: Sustenance

Zabuza had never complained when it came to cooking. It didn't matter if the man was eating bark off trees when there was no alternative or a three course meal at an inn after payment came. Zabuza had simply taken food as a necessity to survival, rather than an enjoyable activity. Food preparation was much the same. Toss whatever you can into the pot and be done with it. Grill whatever's available and fill your stomach. Get something into your belly so that it doesn't growl while you're on mission, lest you be discovered. Sustenance. Pure, simple and easy, only sustenance.

So, Haku didn't know if he was a good cook. He knew that Kaede was. And that Saeko-sama was. He could still recall thinking that the soup he'd had after he'd awoken at the Temple was the food of heavens. Only after discovering more delicacies that the two women prepared at their small kitchen stove did he realize that the soup hadn't been anything much, like Kaede had told him. But, the soup had been everything. He'd asked later and learned that it had been simmered beef ribs, spring onion, carrots, potatoes cut into small cubes and goat cheese. Kaede had taught it to him. It was surprisingly simple to make and the goat cheese did most of the work when it came to flavor, really. Still, it was one of the best things he'd ever eaten.

But, whether he could cook something delicious, like Kaede could, or if he was inept, was still up for debate. He appreciated the young healer trying. Once he'd expressed his interest in culinary arts, she'd done her best to tell him how she cooked. There was still a bit of a gap when it came to understanding and doing. He could follow the recipe well enough. But it was her description of 'what tastes good with what' that he was having trouble with. He didn't know if it was all those years of eating, quite frankly, trash or Zabuza's relationship with food that had completely obliterated his 'food sense'. Or perhaps he'd never had one from the beginning. Recipes were safe. They were like orders. He followed them without thinking much. No decisions to be made there.

"'Morning," Kaede greeted, entering the kitchen. Haku glanced at the pot, checking that it wasn't simmering yet, and turned around to greet her.

"Good morning," he smiled. She was beautiful today, as well. Kaede wore kimonos with autumn colors, which would ordinarily clash with a hair color such as hers. But, the red embroidery of leaves on the edges of her kimono only further accented her hair and made her look positively ethereal. Not that she was ever anything but beautiful to him. He'd seen many women in his years. Cunning, stunning kunoichi, deadly as they come. Tall, curvy, with sensual beauty marks on the sides of their lips or eyes. Zabuza had given him the talk after one encounter with such a woman. Told him that women were nothing but trouble, especially kunoichi. Vipers dressed as butterflies. Venom wrapped in silk. Haku wasn't sure what to think, really. His orders had been to stay away from women, especially if they approached him first. But, Kaede was different. Kaede was always the exception. She wasn't sexy, like the kunoichi he'd met. She wasn't attractive in the conventional sense, like many of the women he'd encountered at various inns. She was simply and utterly beautiful. What was it that made her so, he didn't know. He could start listing everything he found enticing and stay listing for hours on end. Kaede was simply Kaede. She was whom he adored. "Did you sleep well?" He said, instead of everything else that had gone through his head.

"My back has been killing me," she admitted, her hand going behind to gently pat a sore spot with the back of her fist. "Are you cooking?" She came over, curiously bending forward to see what he was doing at the stove. Haku immediately felt his cheeks heat up and it had nothing to do with the stove. He fumbled with the ladle which had been secure in his hand seconds ago.

"I- I tried following the recipe," he admitted, dunking the ladle into the soup so that it wouldn't fall from his fingers. Kaede grinned.

"I'm sure you've got it," she didn't offer to help him. Instead, she retreated towards the cupboards and pulled out a mug. "Do you want me to do some of the prep work?"

"Like?" He tilted his head, the question catching him off-guard.

"Cut some stuff, wash, peel?" Kaede offered, walking around him to the stove. She pushed the pot to the side a bit to put a smaller one next to it. The one they usually used for tea for two people at the most.

"Ah, I-" he looked back at the soup recipe. "I don't know." Kaede giggled.

"You let me know when you figure it out," she said, grabbing tea leaves and preparing her cup. "You want some?" He shook his head. He really should've thought a little bit more before diving into the whole cooking thing. The only thing that he knew that he would do was make that soup. What does one eat with soup even? He glanced back at Kaede. She was humming to herself, spooning the tea leaves into her mug.

"What does one eat with soup?" Haku asked, getting the girl to glance back at him with a smile.

"Depends on the soup," she said. There was no annoyance or patronization in her tone. She was simply answering. "If there's meat in it, maybe some salad, rice is always good, steamed buns are great. If it's vegetable soup, perhaps fish or vegetables."

"I'm making the goat cheese one," he told her. "The one with beef."

"Then maybe rice and we could fish out some of the meat and make that into a side dish?" He nodded. Kaede showed him where the rice was. She told him how much to put in how much water and when it was done how to cover it and get it fluffy. She explained that it was different if he was making rice only or if he was making sushi or onigiri. She told him how to check if meat was ready in the soup. She told him everything that he would need to make the meal on his own. "What did you usually eat while not on missions?" She asked at the end of her explanation, now stirring her tea. She'd added a spoonful of honey. She liked her tea sweet, he filed the information away.

"There wasn't any time away from missions," Haku answered. "We went from one mission to the other, and trained in between." Kaede didn't probe that. She didn't ask for more information about his life in that sense.

"What kind of food did you eat while traveling, then?" She wanted to know. Haku paused in his stirring of the pot. His thoughts flew to everything he'd tasted. He hadn't really… tasted anything. Food was a necessity. A nuisance he bothered with only to keep his body strong. It wasn't something to enjoy. He glanced at Kaede, seeing her pensive, yet eager expression. She wouldn't want to hear something like that. Then again, she wouldn't want him to lie, either.

"Anything that could satisfy the needs of my body," he answered vaguely. He couldn't contain his shock for a brief second when she giggled. "Is that a humorous reply?" She shook her head.

"Just means you've got a lot to look forward to," she grinned at him. "We're not well-equipped here to cook all sorts of delicacies, but if you choose to travel, later, when you've healed, there's so much to try." She sipped her tea. "I heard that in Sunagakure they eat lizards."

"L-lizards?"

"Yeah, it's a delicacy, apparently," she replied. "I'm not sure if I'd be able to bear it to try one. But, I think I would, just to see how it is." Haku stirred the pot again and tilted his head to the side. He'd never really considered lizards as nourishment. Zabuza had warned him off the majority of reptiles because they could contain poison.

"They're not venomous?" He asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Kaede confirmed. "But, if you want something on that side, I think that there's a city in Land of Fire that's famous for poison fish. That tradition spread to our border, as well." Haku turned to her, gaping.

"They ingest poison willingly?" He asked.

"There's a technique that removes the poison," Kaede explained. "That's why you have to be careful where you get that fish from. So that you know that the chef was skilled enough to remove it properly."

"Oh," he thought about it for a moment. "I don't think I'd be adventurous enough to venture there." Kaede giggled.

"You've been eating plenty of poisonous things here," she said with a smirk on her face. His expression must've betrayed his feelings on the topic, because she laughed. "These swamps are full of venomous and poisonous creatures. Even the majority of the plants in the mountain can be used in poison-crafting. We just know how to separate the edible ingredients from the harmful ones."

"I've become an exotic creature, it appears," Haku chuckled.

The kittens were doing well. He was more than satisfied with their progress. The female one was still quite shy and didn't wander too far from their basket. But, the two male ones had begun exploring the room. More than often, he found one of them on his bed and the other near the door. They ate well, too. Kaede had managed to find some books at the library which concerned raising young animals and they had determined their age somewhere around three weeks. That was why they alternated between bottle feeding and grinding up food for them.

Surprisingly, Saeko-sama was rather eager to interact with them. She'd come into the room often and play with the little ones, having them chase a makeshift toy made of feathers on a string. It certainly was an odd sight to see the strict healer laughing merrily with the animals. Master Jōichirō didn't visit them too frequently, but he did ask about them a lot. On the other hand, Kaede was there almost every day and she played with them and helped Haku take care of them. Seeing her being nurturing put all sorts of weird thoughts in his head. As for him, they provided a purpose and entertainment. His days, which had been filled with helping out as much as he was allowed, reading and rehabilitation were now mostly taken up by the three lively cats. And he didn't mind one bit. He'd always liked animals.

"Have you thought of names for them?" Kaede asked, seated on the floor with the female kitten in her lap, sucking furiously on the bottle of warm milk.

"I'm naming them?" Haku was bewildered. He had never named anything in his life. That was not something a shinobi tool did. He was there to serve. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Who else?" Kaede's tone of voice made him glance at her. She had her eyebrows raised, as if he'd asked something silly. "You don't want to?" He quickly backtracked.

"I want to… But… What do you name a cat?" She laughed, startling the kittens, then quickly apologized to them and patted each one.

"Whatever you'd like to name them will be fine," she said. "Just make sure you call them their names consistently, so they know you're addressing them." Haku fell silent. He knew about summons. Summons were intelligent, usually spoke the human language and aided shinobi in their jutsu. He knew a lot about those. Ordinary cats… were different. Did they even have the capacity to understand any of the human speech?

"Then," he looked from one kitten to the next. "How about Miso," he pointed to the dark brown male kitten lounging happily in the basket, belly full. "Mochi," he named the white female kitten in Kaede's lap. "And Wasabi," finally the black cat pawing at the bottle in his hands got his name. He looked up to Kaede, seeing her shocked expression. "Not good?" She shook her head, giggling.

"No, no, they're fine, but why are they all foodstuffs?" Haku was painfully aware of how hot his face got.

Haku began meditating in a more serious capacity within the next week. The flow of chakra he had previously had problems with, specifically around his heart, was slowly easing. There was still a bundle there, a carefully woven energy quite different from his. It was hot, violent, sometimes almost appearing as red in his mind, whenever he attempted to circulate it or around it. However, when undisturbed it sat like a clear, cool pool, almost steel-like, clutching at its position like a vice. He had been having problems with that one since the beginning, meaning he'd had to derail the typical daily circulations he'd done for the majority of his life.

Control was something Zabuza taught with vengeance. There were no excuses when it came to perfect control of one's chakra, especially. And Haku had been a true master when it came to delicate work like that. He'd mastered walking on water, along vertical surfaces and boosting his speed at less than ten years of age. He'd figured out how to redirect his senbon midair only a few months later. He'd practiced attaching wires to various things, senbon included, to modify speed, force and direction. And yet, during his rehabilitation, he was faced with a mess of a chakra and an even messier head. Circulating energy was focused around the heart, after all, and his heart was blocked. He'd had to forge new pathways, figure out different ways to build and mold his energy. Morning and evening meditation was unavoidable.

His three new pets enjoyed the time he spent simply sitting, appearing idle, and they jumped all over his lap, clambered onto his shoulders and attempted to entice him to play at all times. He often found them exhausted, sleeping in his lap when he came out of the intricate network inside his body, refocusing on reality. It would lead to about the same number of hours spent meditating going into petting the little things and gazing idly out the window. Not that he minded it. After meditation his mind had a tendency to be clean. Clear. Like he was completely wiped from existence and merely floated in the fabric of reality.

But, while the meditation and the post-meditation serenity did cause his reading to slow its pace, it proved immensely beneficial for his body. His stitches were out and he was walking up and down the stairs without huffing and puffing soon enough. Then, he switched to outside steps. Within a few weeks, he was already heading up the herbal garden in the dead of the night and practicing his taijutsu on his own, committing it to memory yet again. Kaede had, of course, noticed, giving him a mildly disapproving look more than once while she checked his wounds. When he'd asked, a little baffled, how she knew, she said she could feel the difference under her fingertips. It was a terrifying ability, really, in his personal opinion. Useful for a healer, but terrifying for any shinobi attempting to go undercover.

Haku gently removed the kittens from his lap, arranging them in their basket after a few long hours of meditation and stood. He fixed his kimono, pushed his hair behind his ears, which was getting rather long again, and left his room, sparing one last glance at the sleeping pets. He felt good today. His body felt lighter. Perhaps it was time to practice some of his jutsu. His control was improving at an acceptable rate.

"A request for the border again," he heard Saeko sigh as he walked into the kitchen. He glanced towards the table, seeing the old healer going through mail, smoking her kiseru. Kaede was seated opposite of her, back to him.

"Shall I go?" The girl offered. "We declined the last two requests. This could be troublesome if Hi no Kuni isn't taking their requests either." Saeko threw the paper onto one of the piles.

"We can't be everywhere at all times," the healer replied. "If you go, this place will just have me, and I'm not as young as I once was." There was a pause.

"We could wait for Mei to come back?" Kaede offered. Saeko clicked her tongue.

"I don't want that girl anywhere near my patients," she grumbled. "Sooner or later she'll be tempted again." Kaede laughed at that.

"Good evening," Haku greeted, just to be polite. They were undoubtedly aware of him lingering at the bottom of the stairs, after all.

"How's that chakra flow coming along?" Saeko asked with a knowing grin. Haku bowed his head in reply, choosing not to share his progress with the woman. He wasn't ready yet. It had to be perfect before he could declare any kind of progress, after all.

"Don't tease him too much, Saeko-sama," Kaede smiled, turning to him. She patted the seat next to her. "Tea?"

"Yes, please," Haku accepted, sitting down. "Is there a particular reason why the Temple is required to accept border town requests for medical aid?" He asked, looking at the mass of letters on the table in front of him. Kaede placed a fresh cup of tea next to them. He gratefully smiled at her and she nodded back. He sipped it. Mint. It was delicious.

"It's one of the terms of our sanctuary contract," Saeko explained. "In order to have our independence here, we are required to contribute in some form or manner to the health of the country we reside in. Sure enough, we could argue religious sanctuary, but this was easier." Haku frowned.

"But you pay taxes and you own the land already, no?" He asked.

"That's only part of the equation," Kaede told him, sifting through the letters and noting down locations and severity of damage on a separate paper. "The Mizukage would not let go of a skilled kunoichi such as Saeko-sama purely to let her live out her retirement on a remote mountain. The deal was that the Shitchi Temple would remain neutral ground, no matter who came here for healing, but instead it would provide relief to the areas which requested it."

"To the best of our capability," Saeko smirked. "I may be old, but I'm not a fool. I can't clone myself." Haku grinned and nodded at that.

"It seems reasonable enough," he agreed. "What about wartime conditions?" Saeko sighed deeply. Haku was forced to look away from Kaede's face, from the focused look in her eyes and the gentle frown on her lips as she sifted through mail, to take in the expression on the old healer's face. Saeko seemed far away in memories.

"War…" Saeko shook her head. She took a long drag from her kiseru and exhaled. "I hope we never experience something of that scale again." She was looking away, out the window, into the misty air which blocked most of the sunrays. "There are things that a human being should not be allowed to do – to think of doing – which happens in war. Which happens in systematic genocide," her eyes slid over Haku, to Kaede. Something in him sank. Did she know? Did she know how… tainted he was? Did she know that he was a living blight? That he was meant for the grave, not for breathing? "In wartime, we're much the same as with ordinary times," Saeko seemed to collect herself. She took in another lungful of smoke. "I won't allow one of mine to become a beast like I was." Her eyes held an edge to them. Like she'd seen too much to be simply explained with words. "In wartime we're free to volunteer, but our contract doesn't extend to any obligatory actions." Kaede huffed.

"We all know that we'd volunteer, though," she muttered. "You first, Saeko-sama, couldn't stand on the sidelines and watch people lose their lives due to the stupidity and greed of the ruling class." Saeko laughed, a hollow sound.

"Indeed," she agreed, with an even, almost morose tone. "Indeed, I couldn't."

"Luckily," Kaede grinned, sliding a letter towards Saeko. "There's no need for those worries at the present," she definitely lightened the mood at that. "Not to mention how grumpy you'd be without being able to access all of that smoke out in the battlefield." Saeko burst into laughter, shaking her head.

"Indeed, this old crone would probably give away the camp's position due to her addiction!" She laughed from her belly, taking the letter absent-mindedly. Then, she fixed them both with a soft glare. "Not a word about it to Jōichirō." The two politely nodded, but shared a glance full of mirth when Saeko looked at the letter in front of her. A sigh, and then, "I'll take this one." The tapped the paper in front of her.

"The Lord's son?" Kaede asked, frowning. "Surely, there are other, more urgent-"

"It's not a matter of class, but security," Saeko interrupted. "If we don't satisfy the ruling class, we'll have them on our back. Besides, going to the Lord's son means passing through a number of those areas. And nobody will say anything if an old woman is delayed a day or two," there was a spark of mischief in her eyes as she stuck the kiseru between her teeth. Kaede nodded with a huff.

"That's too much work for one healer," she noted, counting the letters in front of her according to geographical position. "You'll have at least twelve cases by the time you reach the Lord's territory, plus his heir."

"I'm not that old," Saeko grumbled. "We'll do a headcount and prep, it should be fairly straightforward." Then, she stood from the table. "This means that you're in charge while I'm away, Kaede." And before the girl could gather herself to say anything, the old healer walked away, stalking towards her beloved's reading room. Undoubtedly, they would spend some time together before she left.

Haku couldn't tear his eyes away from the spot where she'd rounded the corner. He hadn't taken the time to consider Saeko-sama's and Master Jōichirō's life. Selfishly, perhaps, he'd been so utterly focused on himself. But, now, when faced with it so plainly that it was akin to hitting a brick wall, he couldn't help but feel that twinge of sympathy and… perhaps pity? While they'd overcome one thing in their youth, her past as a kunoichi and his as a devoted monk, they'd ended up at yet another crossroads. His wanderlust tugged him away from home more than Saeko liked, certainly. Her work wrenched her from his arms when he was there, as well.

And yet, Haku couldn't help but recall when he'd seen them one morning, standing in the kitchen, her at the stove, mixing some concoction and him standing next to her, sipping tea and looking at her so lovingly that he seemed decades younger. And then, in the silence only broken by the sound of Saeko's wooden spatula, he had reached over and picked up one of the strands of her hair which had slipped her lazy bun, curled it around his age-worn, calloused fingers and placed his lips on it so softly, gently, like he was worshipping the very being of her in that lock. She'd looked up from her pot, smiling ever so softly at him, and they hadn't spoken. They had just looked at each other for a moment, before they both resumed what they had been doing, Saeko stirring her concoction, Jōichirō sipping his tea. And yet, an unspoken affection had lingered in the air so heavily that Haku stealthily turned around and went back into his room, so very careful not to disturb them. The sustenance of their relationship was obviously their deep affection for one another. The foundations on which their life worked was love. With that emotion, they overcame whatever they faced.

He glanced away from the corner of the Temple where he'd lost sight of the old healer and beheld the girl in front of him. She was quickly making a list on a piece of paper and arranging the leftover letters. Her concentration was completely on her task, only pausing in her writing to push some of her blazingly red hair behind her ear.

"I'll have to send replies then," Kaede huffed, taking a small break. "Get all of these to make the trip easier in the meantime." She looked to the pile of letters they had rejected, essentially. "We'll need supplies for Saeko-sama's trip, too. Herbs and bandages and," she looked up at him and trailed off. "Haku?" His name on her lips made his heart leap so high and so fast that he was certain in would jump out of his throat.

"Yes?" He cleared his throat right after answering, realizing that his voice had been deeper, drenched in that memory of affection of that one morning. Wishing it was him. Him and her. Her hair ablaze in the morning sun. His fingers in it. His lips on it. His eyes gazing at her with clear adoration. Worshipping. Her smiling in response. Returning his affection. He wouldn't need anything else, either. He understood Saeko and Jōichirō on a level words couldn't even begin to explain.

"Would you like to go to the village tomorrow morning, get the supplies?" Kaede asked, smiling at him. It wasn't the kind of smile he wanted. It was a smile one gave to a friend. Greedy. He was so greedy. He'd become selfish and greedy. His dirty self didn't deserve even this smile, meant for a friend. And yet, his selfishness couldn't be stopped.

"As you wish," he replied softly, smiling right back at her. There was probably something in his expression which betrayed his dirty, filthy thoughts of affectionate mornings bathed in the kitchen sunlight, because Kaede paused, but she didn't say anything about it. She simply nodded. He stifled the urge to reach out and touch her, just to make certain that she was real.

That's all folks!

Reviews:

Tainan republic:
Thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story :)
I hope to hear your thoughts on the new chapter, as well
Best!