With a final clash of sharpened steel, his opponents sword flies out of his hand; clattering onto the ground. Phenex takes a step back for a breath of air, letting his heart settle after the spar he won, but only just.
"Bravo! Brilliant as always." Stolas complemented from a bench to the side of the fencing club; Giving a slightly teasing clap in praise.
Phenex sheathed his sword and shook hands with his opponent before moving over to where Stolas is seated, a small flush on his face from the combination of exercise and pride in his skills. He plopped down on the bench with a weary sigh, splashing a bottle of water on his face to cool himself down. "You're too kind" he eventually responded, his gaze fixed on the ground between his legs.
Stolas smiled as he observed Phenex wind down from his scrimmage. He leaned against the backrest, his legs crossed at the ankles as he observed his friend with a smirk. "No, really. Your skills with a blade are quite impressive" he said, his tone light and playful.
"I have Eligos to thank for teaching me" Phenex grabbed a second bottle of water and nearly downed the whole thing in a singular moment.
Stolas watched as Phenex drank, a hint of envy in his eyes for the freedom the other boys parents gave him. "Eligos is a good teacher" he agreed. "He knows how to hone someone's skills and bring out their full potential" He paused for a moment, a tinge of sadness in his expression as he thought about his own circumstances. "I just wish I could receive that kind of training from someone I actually respect..." he muttered under his breath.
"Is your father giving you a hard time again?" Phenex carefully asked. Stolas tensed, his shoulders visibly stiffening at the question. He wasn't surprised that his friend had noticed, he usually did when Stolas was in a pensive mood. He drew a shaky breath before responding.
"When isn't he?" he muttered bitterly, his fingers digging into the fabric of his pants. "He's seemingly become more demanding the older I get" he continued, his voice taking on a frustrated edge. "Expecting me to constantly perfect my magic, my appearance, my etiquette... It's exhausting. And if I fall even a fraction short of his extremely high standards, he reminds me of how little value he sees in me. I wonder if he even views me as his son" he said quietly, his mood growing even darker as he spoke.
Stolas was aware of how bitter he sounded, but it was hard to hide his emotions when everything was bottled up inside him. He glanced over at Phenex, noticing the concern on his friends' face, and felt a wave a guilt. He was probably just burdening him with his problems. "Sorry," he quickly apologized, his eyes cast to the ground. "I shouldn't dump all that on you. I just... I didn't know who else to talk to and-"
He was interrupted as Phenex suddenly grabbed his hand, startling him slightly. Looking up, he found himself staring into Phenex's steady gaze as the other boy squeezed his hand reassuringly. The action was a little out of character, yet it comforted him. "You don't need to apologize at all. Please if there is anything you want to get off your chest, then do so. You know I'm always happy to listen to you"
His heart skipped a beat at Phenex's words, the unexpected gesture and the gentle tone of his voice were like a soothing balm to his weary soul. He took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts a bit before continuing. "Sometimes I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. Like I'm constantly trying to live up to an impossible standard, and no matter what I do it's never enough" he confessed quietly, his eyes fixed on their joined hands. "It's exhausting, trying to be perfect all the time. But every time without fail he finds something to criticize, some new way that I'm not measuring up to his expectations" he continued, his voice starting to crack a bit. "And I'm just so tired of it all. I feel like I'm drowning under the weight of his disapproval"
Stolas felt his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears, but he fought to keep them at bay, not wanting to completely lose control. He stared down at their hands again, feeling a sense of comfort from the simple gesture of holding hands. He was relieved that Phenex was listening to him, allowing him to vent. "I just... I wish I could escape it all. At least for a little while" he continued after a minute, his voice slightly shaky. "To just be somewhere, or do something where I'm free from his constant judgement and expectations. But of course that's not really possible"
There was a pause in the conversation while Phenex processed his friends words, the sound of clashing swords and idle chatter prevailing the room. "Why don't we spend the rest of day out. We'll ignore all of our problems by window shopping until we inevitably cave in to the well decorated and presented window displays, and we could stop at a coffee shop while we're at it!" Phenex suggested after a few minutes of silence.
Stolas looked up, a small flicker of hope in his eyes at the proposition, the idea was very appealing to him right now. He allowed a small smile to cross his lips. "A day of mindless consumerism and overpriced caffeine, I couldn't imagine a better divertissement right now" he agreed, allowing some of his usual congenial tone slip back into his voice. He squeezed Phenex's hand, a silent 'thank you' for listening to him and offering a much needed distraction. A day of forgetting and indulging with his best friend sounded perfect.
"I know a great mall in capital of envy. It's always bustling, with dozens upon dozens of little shops to wander in." Phenex added with a smile, rubbing his finger along the back of Stolas' hand.
Stolas couldn't help the warm feeling that ran through his body at the unexpected action from Phenex, his heart fluttering in his chest. He cleared his throat subtly, trying not to show how the simple gesture affected him. "I haven't been to Envy in quite a while. It would be a nice change of pace" he responded, a hint of anticipation in his voice. He held onto Phenex's hand a little tighter, not wanting to let go yet.
"Good. Then it's decided" Phenex declared, gently pulling him to his feet. Stolas glanced down at their still connected hands and hesitated for a brief moment before reluctantly letting go. His hand tingled with the absence of his touch, but he pushed the sensation aside and returned the smile. It was always like that, every time they connected in a meaningful way, it seemed to always end too soon. He missed the feeling the moment it ended. He pushed the feeling aside, trying to remain casual as they walked out of the fencing club and made their way down the sidewalk.
"I told you that Victorian goth would look great on you." Phenex says from a nearby clothing rack as he filters through the jackets that lined it. "And I couldn't have been more correct!"
Stolas chuckled at the remark, the lightheartedness of it lifting his spirits further. He had to admit, the long, black Victorian era styled jacket with red accents he was currently trying on did look good, and that's not even mentioning the rest of the outfit. It wasn't his first choice of styles, but it was quickly growing on him. "So you like it then?" he asked casually, turning around slowly to give Phenex a better view. He couldn't help but feel a slight thrill as he preformed a small fashion show for his friend. A part of him enjoyed the attention, and wanted to see an approving look in Phenex's eyes.
"Like it? I love it! You look fantastic" Phenex asserted, a pleased grin on his face as he gave the outfit an once-over. "And it fits you perfectly, you've got to get it!"
His heart skipped a beat, he couldn't deny the subtle boost the compliment and look gave to his ego. It's almost like he was staring... no, that was ridiculous. He spun around once more before catching a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror. The white dress shirt paired with the form fitting tail coat did compliment his plumage beautifully.
He glanced back at his reflection, taking another critical look at how the clothes clung to his slender frame. He has to admit, it made him feel... attractive. He smiled slightly, straightening up with an air of confidence. "I guess it does look rather flattering, doesn't it?" he said with a smirk.
He turned back to Phenex, noticing the way his friend was eying him. A small pang of satisfaction and intrigue went through him at the attention, but he pushed it away to focus on their current conversation. "Alright, you've convinced me. I'll get this" he declared, returning his gaze to the mirror to appraise his appearance.
"Good, now I don't have to feel alone anymore in my clothing choices after my seemingly overnight development in Gothic Victorian as a style!" Phenex said while slinging a jacket he liked over his forearm, intent on adding more than one outfit to Stolas' wardrobe.
Stolas laughed at the remark, shaking his head slightly in amusement. "You always did have to stick out in a crowd" he teased, watching as Phenex continued flipping through the selection of clothes.
"Being born a Goetia already has condemned me to having eyes on me at all times, might as well look good while doing so."
Stolas chuckled and nodded in agreement. "You do have a point there" he said, finally tearing his gaze away from the mirror.
Feeling satisfied with his choices, the other noble turned to look at Stolas. "If I keep looking any longer we'll be here the rest of the day, so I'm ready to leave when you are"
He adjusted the new jacket so it sat comfortably on his shoulders, enjoying the way it fit him. For a brief moment he couldn't help thinking how nice it would be to receive similar compliments from Phenex under different circumstances, but he quickly shoved the thought aside. "I'm ready" he confirmed, smoothing out his clothing one last time before following Phenex to the checkout.
The pair made their way to the till, chatting idly as they handed their purchases to the clerk. Stolas cast one last glance back at his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at his new look. He caught Phenex's eye in the mirror and smiled jokingly. "I'm going to end up spending all my allowance on clothes at this rate"
"Well you don't have to worry yourself one bit because I insist on paying for it" Phenex looked far too pleased with himself as he handed over his card to the employee.
Stolas was about to protest, but stopped when he realized it was futile. Once Phenex made up his mind about something, he was quite stubborn. Instead, he rolled his eyes with an amused smile.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll let you pay for lunch!"
"That almost makes up for you paying for my whole new wardrobe" Stolas said sarcastically, still smiling. He made a mental note to pay his friend back someday, knowing that Phenex would not accept his money today. "You better have picked a nice place for lunch, as compensation" he teased as they walked out of the store.
"I was going to choose something on the more simple side. But since you seem so bothered by it, I'll pick something a bit extra" Phenex rested his shopping back over his shoulder.
"You're always so dramatic" Stolas responded with a smile.
"I learned from the best" Phenex joshed back to his friend, casting him a sideways glance.
"Hush, you" he said, giving Phenex a half-hearted shove as they continued walking. "Remember who is the prince here. I'm above drama!"
"I beg your forgiveness, your majesty" he says whilst bowing to emphasize the point.
"Oh, don't you start that with me" Stolas replied with a chuckle. Despite his protests, he couldn't help but savor these moment to the most he could. Phenex's playfulness brought some much needed normalcy to his life, and he would be lying if he said he didn't appreciate it. There was an ease in their banter that he found himself craving more and more as time went on. As they continued to walk, he couldn't help but sneak glances at Phenex every so often. The easy smile on his friend's face made something warm and pleasant fill his chest. He knew it was silly and a bit pathetic, but the mere presence of the other aristocrat had a sort of calming effect on him. He found himself wishing this moment would never end.
Stolas was yanked metaphorically, and literally out of his inner thoughts when Phenex grabbed him by the hand a pulled him into a restaurant they had just passed, with him muttering something he couldn't quite make out. As he got his footing, he looked around the place they had entered, taking in the atmosphere. "I wouldn't definitely not consider this 'common'" he observed jokingly as they were led to the table by the host.
The restaurant was quite swanky, with its elegant decor and dim lighting. He took a seat across from Phenex, scanning the menu casually. "You brought me here just to show off, didn't you?"
"A little. But I remember coming here when I was really young because they have a 'Goetic menu' so my mom could actually eat something more substantial than select appetizer items" He used some of his power to pick up the menu while he used his hand to gesture as he told his story. "Which is great for you and your limited diet"
Stolas glanced down at his own menu, realizing that Phenex was in fact right. There were indeed options for Goetic diets. Surprised and a little touched that Phenex remembered his diet, he chuckled slightly, feeling a small pang of affection for his friend. "Thank you for being considerate of me" he said genuinely, trying to keep his expression neutral.
"Don't mention it" Phenex said while taking his menu in hand.
As they waited for the waitress to come take their order, Stolas couldn't help but notice how intimate the atmosphere of the restaurant was. The soft lighting, the elegant decorations, the quiet chatter. His gaze drifted across the table to Phenex, who was currently examining the menu, his expression focused. Stolas quickly looked back down at his own menu, hoping the low lighting hid his sudden blush. He took a deep breath, chiding himself for getting flustered so easily. This was just lunch, nothing more.
When the waitress finally came over, Stolas quickly ordered a meal that suited his diet, trying to push down the feeling in his chest that had appeared since he stepped in the restaurant. After she had gone, he busied himself with fiddling with his napkin, not trusting himself to speak now.
The silence stretched on for several minutes, and Stolas had to resist the urge to squirm in his seat. *Say something*, he willed himself. *Don't make it weird*.
But all he could think about was how the low lighting made Phenex's eyes gleam, or how the shadows accentuated the shape of his build. Stolas tried to clear his head of such thoughts, but was unsuccessful. He discreetly took a gulp from his water, hoping to cool the suddenly growing heat in his face.
Phenex began to open his mouth to speak when his eyes drifted over to the entrance of the restaurant, his expression darkening slightly.
"Trying to steal my sisters fiancé Phenex?" The voice of the newcomers unpleasantly rang from behind Stolas.
"Good afternoon to you as well, Andrealphus" Phenex kept his attitude collected, but he clearly wasn't happy about the intrusion on their lunch. "Hi" he quietly greeted, having turned to Stella who was beside her brother. His expression softening.
Stella could only manage a waive in return before Andrealphus stood in between the two and continued with his pestering. "I always suspected you to be of the type to prefer your own sex. How shameful"
Stolas had just taken a sip of his water when he heard that last remark, and accidentally spat a mouthful across the table at the sheer audacity of it. He blushed furiously, grabbing a napkin to cover the mess he had made and discreetly glancing up at Phenex to see his reaction to the statement.
"Well, I'm sorry you can't comprehend the idea of have a lunch with a friend due to your lack of any sort of friends beyond your sister" Phenex retorted, taking a sip of his tea to keep himself level headed.
Stolas couldn't help but let out a small snort of laughter at Phenex's retort. The look of annoyance on Andrealphus' face was priceless. Meanwhile, Stella just rolled her eyes and stepped around her brother, walking over to their table and taking a seat in between Stolas and Phenex, knowing it might take a while before the two finish their spat.
Stolas glanced over at Stella for a moment before refocusing on the two nobles, who were currently in a heated argument. He felt a pang of sympathy for his friend, wishing he could do more to support him. He knew how difficult it was for Phenex to deal with Andrealphus, with his snide remarks and underhanded comments. The two had disliked each other from the beginning, the relationship between their families being strained since before either of them were born.
"They really have no idea how to behave in public do they?" Stella spoke after a few minutes had passed, taking in her brother and Phenex's argument while she texted with someone on her flip phone.
"No, they do not" Stolas agreed, secretly enjoying the fact that Phenex was able to hold his own, despite the age difference.
"Compensating?" Phenex asked, leaning back in his seat.
"For what?" Andrealphus replied immediately, his voice dripping with superiority.
"Your constant praise of your sisters beauty, the over the top flamboyant attitude, the need to participate in 'masculine' hobbies. I can't help but get the feeling that you are attempting to compensate for an underlying lust for men by doing the forementioned." Phenex smirked, feigning nonchalance as he continued sipping his tea.
Stella quickly clamped her hand over her beak as an undignified snort escaped her, while Stolas tried hard to hide his own smile. He had to admit the look on Andrealphus' face was utterly satisfying. The other nobleman looked stunned, his face reddening in anger as he struggled to find a reply to Phenex's statement.
Meanwhile Stella burst into laughter, not able to hold it in after what he said truly settled in. Even Stolas couldn't stop a chuckle from escaping, finding the situation both comical and satisfying. "How dare you accuse me of such a baseless and crude thing!" Andrealphus finally sputtered out, his face still red with anger and embarrassment.
Phenex just shrugged casually, a self-satisfied smile playing at the corner of his lips. "I'm just making an observation. Besides the fact you had accused me of the very same thing" he replied, taking another sip of his tea as if he was discussing the weather.
Stolas had to admit, he hadn't seen Andrealphus this flustered before, and it was a highly entertaining sight to behold. Even Stella had tears running down her face from laughter by this point, no longer trying to compose herself.
Andrealphus huffed, clearly still seething in anger but attempting to remain composed in public.
"Come on dear brother, let's get ourselves a table away from these two, enjoy a lunch and move on with our day" Stella said after finally managing to pull herself together. Standing from her seat, she moved to stand beside her brother, lightly grabbing his arm. Andrealphus mumbled something about 'ridiculous accusations' and 'no respect', but allowed himself to be led away by his sister, with a final glare sent at the two still seated at the table.
Once the pair had moved to a table across the restaurant, Stolas let out a small sigh of relief, finally allowing himself to relax. It was always stressful when he got caught in the crossfire of the ongoing feud between the two families. However, it was rather satisfying to see Andrealphus taken down a peg or two, especially by Phenex.
He turned his gaze to his friend, still seated across from him, sipping his tea with a look of victory. The expression suited him, Stolas couldn't help but think. "You handled that quite well" he said admiringly, not able to hide the hint of veneration in his voice.
Phenex smiled, clearly pleased with himself. "When your family has had a millennia long feud with another house, you pick up a few things" he replied, setting down his tea cup and returning his look to one more neutral. "And I will admit... It is rather fun to press his buttons, especially over something that is most likely true."
Stolas chuckled, resting his chin on his hand as he regarded his friend with a smirk. "Watching him sputter in anger was quite satisfying and absolutely made my day. I think you bruised his pride"
"I hope so. I mean, if you choose to repress your sexuality, and stay in the closet, then at least don't be an ass about it!" Phenex looked like he was about to say more, but he was quickly distracted by the arrival of their orders. Stolas watched as their food was placed before them, the smell making his mouth water. He picked up his silverware and started eating, his mind wandering back to what Phenex had said.
Staying in the closet. The term echoed in his mind, making him wonder. He knew about Andrealphus' tendency to hide his attraction to men with his over the top act. But he had never considered...
He glanced up at Phenex, his heart racing. Could it be possible that he was... no. He shouldn't think like that. He quickly shook the thought away, concentrating on his meal instead. It was pointless to think like that, he told himself. Phenex had made his interest clear multiple times.
*Not interested in YOU*, a small, cruel voice whispered in the back of his head.
"I really feel bad for Stella, being born into such a mentally draining family would drive me mad! It doesn't surprise me at all that she needs me to tutor her, anyone would struggle to retain any ounce of knowledge in that household" Phenex said, after having taken a moment to savor the first few bites of his lunch.
"You have a point there. It's a wonder she manages to keep any of her sanity at all" He agreed between mouthfuls, glad for the change in subject. "Although I'm a little surprised you accepted to help her, given the history between your families" He said, raising an eyebrow curiously.
"Just because the family heads despise each other doesn't mean I have to partake in the rivalry by default. She asked for help to be more than just a pretty face for her family, how was I supposed to refuse? Aside from my love of teaching, I must admit that I enjoyed the idea of going behind my family's backs to assist the daughter of our long standing rival. It sounds straight out of a novel!"
Stolas chuckled at the image, imagining the reaction of Phenex's family if they discovered he had been assisting the daughter of their rival family. "It does sound like something out of a book, doesn't it? A young nobleman, secretly helping the daughter of his family's rival, in defiance of their feud. Very Romeo and Juliet-esque" he replied, a teasing tone in his voice.
"I do worry for her... For the kind of women her family is grooming her to be. She has made a few strange comments relating to yours and hers marriage, I hope for her sake that her family lets her enjoy what little time she has before being tied to you" Phenex's tone lowered slightly as he changed topic, leaning forward in an attempt to avoid unwanted attention.
Stolas let out a sigh, his expression becoming more grave. He knew all too well what Stella's family expected her to become. A vessel to spread their influence, nothing more. "Her family wants to mold her into the perfect noblewoman, the ideal future wife of a prince" he replied, his voice taking on a bitter tone. "They don't care about what she wants. As long as she can give me an heir and secure an increase of the families power, they'll consider it a success"
Stolas picked at his food, his appetite suddenly gone. Feeling a mix of anger and helplessness at the thought of what lay ahead, he pushed his plate aside and rested his hands on his lap. "I've tried talking to her, telling her that she doesn't have to accept the fate they've planned for her. That there's more to life than just being a tool for her family's ambitions" he said quietly, looking off into a direction without looking at anything. "But she brushed me off, saying I was just being naive and idealistic. She's already resigned herself to her fate"
He paused for a moment, rubbing his temple with his fingers. "The thought that I actually have feelings and emotions is seemingly unimaginable to her" he continued, his voice taking on a bitter tone again. "To her, I'm just a means to an end. Her only responsibility is to give me an heir, nothing more" Stolas let out a humorless laugh at the thought. "It's honestly no better than locking a stud in a stall with broodmare. Just... business"
"I can't even begin to understand exactly how hard it must be for you, especially given your differing taste in spouses. But please don't fail to ask anything of me, even if you just need a weight off your chest, you can tell me anything" Phenex gave him a slight smile that told him he was being wholly honest in his words.
Stolas felt a wave of gratitude towards Phenex, grateful for the support and understanding he was offering. "Thank you, Phenex" he said, giving him a small smile in return. He was quiet for a moment, trying to ignore the ache in his heart. He had so much that he wanted to say, so many thoughts and feelings that had bottled up inside him over the years with nowhere to go. "Sometimes, I just... don't know how much more I can take of it. Of the expectations, the pressure, the constant pretense" He confessed quietly.
"Well, whatever your limit may be, I will always be here; Ready and willing to support you"
"I appreciate it" Stolas replied, feeling a mix of gratitude and a bittersweet longing. Despite Phenex's steadfast support, he couldn't help but wish that their friendship wasn't just limited to that. He quickly squashed the thought down, knowing it was pointless to think of such things. He should be happy that he, at least, was in his life in some capacity.
"Just... promise me something" he said, his voice suddenly serious.
"Anything" Phenex answered, not taking a moment to think before he said so.
Stolas didn't say anything right away, gathering his thoughts and trying to find the right words to express what he wanted to say.
"If... if it gets to be too much" he began, his voice quiet but firm. "If I ever feel like I can't take it anymore and it all becomes too much to handle..." He paused again, meeting Phenex's gaze with a look of desperation. "Promise me you'll be there. That you won't abandon me."
Stolas held his breath a little as he waited for a response, unsure of what the other would say. Given how his life was going for him, he felt that things were bound to get worse soon, and he needed the knowledge that Phenex would be there.
He didn't want to be alone.
"I may not always be right by your side... But I wholeheartedly promise that even if you don't see me, I will be doing everything in my power to help you!" Phenex took Stolas' hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. "What kind of a best friend would that make me if I didn't?" He continued, some of his normal tone returning.
Stolas felt a flutter in his heart, the familiar sense of affection and longing returning. *Best friend* he repeated mentally, the word almost like a mockery to his feelings. But despite his inner turmoil, he found himself smiling at Phenex. His friend, the light in his life that kept him from drowning in despair.
"Thank you" he said quietly, squeezing back as he held his hand.
For a brief moment, he allowed himself to pretend. To pretend that the two of them were more than just friends, that the warm touch of Phenex's hand on his was more than just a friendly gesture. It was a dangerous and wishful thought, one that he knew he shouldn't indulge in. But he allowed himself to, even if only for a moment, the fantasy offering a brief escape from the cold and harsh reality of his situation.
(Post chapter notes)
Please feel free to leave any kind of feedback, I am always looking to improve in my writing and living in an echo chamber with only myself to review my work is not very helpful. So as long as you're not just being blatantly rude, I would really appreciate a comment or a dm. Thank you and have a great day/night.
Also, while I have the gist of this story planned out in my head, if you have any interesting ideas I am more than willing to hear them out. Just don't expect me to include it unless I like it and it fits with my narrative.