ATTENTION: Crew of the Cerritos. Here are ten reasons never to annoy our chief medical officer, Commander T'Ana.
1. T'Ana is a Caitian. Not a human-sized kitty cat.
2. T'Ana is our chief medical officer. That means she can hurt or cure you, depending on her mood. Note: As a Caitian, she has claws and knows how to use them.
3. The universal translator sometimes has trouble translating her language. That is why she *bleep* swears at least every *bleep* fifth or *bleep* sixth word.
4. T'Ana enjoys rock climbing. With her claws and natural ability, she doesn't need a rope, unlike the rest of the crew.
5. Don't ask T'Ana about her coital hooks.
6. T'Ana loves portraying murderous characters on the holodeck. It's one way of working out her aggression.
7. T'Ana will not tell anyone about how she lost her tail except our chief security officer, Lieutenant Shaxs.
8. T'Ana is in a relationship with Shaxs. Again-don't ask about her coital hooks.
9. T'Ana does have a nurturing side on occasion. Hard to believe, eh?
10. Despite her gruff behavior, questionable language, aggressive tendencies, and pain management techniques, she's a damn great doctor, and we're lucky to have her.
Lieutenant Shaxs Drazon