WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

48. Gojohime 1

Dancing Between The Tides

Snowyy19

Summary:

During his deadly fight against the king of curses Sukuna, something changes in Satoru Gojo, the strongest forever. He no longer is in control of his feelings he used to suppress. Suddenly, loneliness doesn't seem as welcoming as it did before.
Suddenly his heart doesn't stop calling out for a woman, he always been loving, he always tried to get attention from.
And hopefully now he is able to gain the heart of the woman of his dreams... Utahime.

But it is not that easy when they go on mission together, beeing around her all the time and he struggles between his wishes and fears, wondering if she feels the same...

And Utahime pointing up their age gab isn't encouraging at all. He loves she is older though...

Notes:

Includes only spoilers of season 2 Premature Death Arc (Gojo's Past) and Utahime's curse technique.
Characters' original personality and Japanese culture are transmittet into the story.
Every sorcerer can make use of teleportation, only Satoru needs less time.
Takes part in the jujutsu kaisen universe.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

fear of commitment, jealousy, childhood trauma, toxic parant, cultural problems,
there are other characters romantically interested in the main characters (Mei Mei and non canon characters)

Chapter 1: Changed forever

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I thought it would never come to that. I thought my heart would never get caught in the thorns of love. I thought I could protect my heart from any sadness, just as I put my infinity between me and everything else to protect my body from injuries. Only then could I become the strongest.
But sometimes something happens that you never expected and then everything you have held inside breaks out of you and all the protection you have built up collapses mercilessly, leaving you vulnerable and lonely. Because no forced protection lasts forever.
Then you can only hope that it's not too late for everything.

That's life. You never know what's going to happen next.
And just as little did I expect that the most dangerous curse of all time, Sukuna, would manifest in my student Yuji Itadori, in his vessel, right now.

I knew that day would come, but not today, not when I was doing exactly what the Kyoto Academy had asked me to do, completely unaware:
Exorcizing hundreds of curses nearing to the Kyoto Academy in droves. I should have realized that this was a trap, that they were luring me and Utahime further and further away from the academy. And that was the worst part of the whole thing... Utahime was with me. If I had been alone, I could have gone after Sukuna without hesitation.

But everything happened so quickly that I still don't understand how all came to this.
What did I say to Megumi? At the moment of death, you are alone.
I was wrong.

Sukuna gripped Utahime's chin tighter.
"Give me my last finger, Satoru Gojo!" He ordered the strongest.
"Don't you dare attack me, or you'll hit your pretty one here, too. Unfortunately, you are far too strong and therefore imprecise."

A drop of sweat ran down Satoru's temple to his chin.
He clenched his teeth in anger. "Why don't you just keep her out of here?"

The king of curses grinned devilishly. "It pleases me to see you suffer."

"Don't listen to him Satoru! In his current state, you can defeat him more easily!"

*What am I supposed to do? If he gets his last finger, he won't need Yuji's body or Utahime.
And both will die. If he doesn't get his finger, he'll kill Utahime instantly.*
"Would you love to torture me?" Satoru realized that he had aroused Sukuna's interest.

"What are you talking about, Satoru?" Utahime roared.

"Just imagine... Me, Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer, being cruelly tortured by your enormous strength... Wouldn't that be an incredible feeling of power? Or do you want to go down in history as a weakling who only got his last piece by taking a hostage?"

Sukuna laughed loudly. "You idiot. You're trading her miserable life for millions of others?"
He put his finger to his chin. "But to be honest, that really sounds a lot more honorable."

"Are you crazy, Satoru?" Utahime called out worriedly. "You can't just-"

"Utahime! I trust you."

"I couldn't do anything against him on my own. Besides, he could make you-"

"I said, I trust you! So Sukuna, I'm asking you... Do you promise Utahime's and Yuji's freedom and safety after torturing me as you please, even in your full body?"

"If there will be an after, then yes, I promise." He laughed loudly.
"I can't guarantee it with the brat, but I won't intentionally hurt him. Agree?"

"Yes. And what are you demanding?"

"Not much. While I torture you to death, you are not allowed to defend yourself in any way except healing your heart. Otherwise we would be bored, right?"

"Satoru! Don't do it. Please!" She tried to free herself from Sukuna's grasp.

"I agree."

"I already feel sorry for you." And before his eyes, Sukuna tore Utahime to pieces.

"NOOOOO! YOU ASSHOLE! YOU PROMISED!"

"The hostage thing was getting boring. I just wanted to see, if you'd really make this deal for her."

Satoru clenched his teeth to stop his trembling. Why didn't Sukuna disband?
Had he outsmarted him? Tears wet his dark blindfold.
*But I specifically requested not to harm Utahime. Is she now... I want to kill him!
I have a great desire to tear him to pieces! Since when have I feel this way?
I only killed when I had to. Never out of hatred.*

"Really sad. You couldn't even confess your love to her. And she not even give a shit about you."

Satoru's lips trembled. *What is this terrible pain? Am I crying?*
Something wasn't right. Although Sukuna wasn't using any technique at the moment, he felt a dense curse energy everywhere.
Unexpectedly, Suguru appeared in front of him, but instead of greeting him warmly, he took out a knife and rammed it into Satoru's stomach with full force. Suguru must have missed him as the friend's knife was meant for the heart. More tears streamed down his cheeks.
Satoru spit out blood. "Suguru... I... am your friend."

"We were just comrades, nothing more."
He pulled the knife out of him and let Satoru collapse to the ground.

"Poor Gojo... How pathetic that you're always crying after people who don't give a shit about you."

Satoru pulled down his blindfold and wiped away his tears from his burned cheeks.

"You have been abandoned so many times. And in order this doesn't happen again, you built a wall between you and people, so that no one notices that your heart is bleeding, you hide this wound even from yourself. But... I KNOW HOW I'LL PRESS IT OUT OF YOU!"

Satoru felt the agonizing pain of betrayal and the hatred of the loved ones.
He started crying loudly. Instantly, memories from his childhood began to play like a movie before his eyes... his father holding a gun to his head.
"Dad! Please don't! Nobody loves me except you!"
But he didn't hear his son and killed himself infront of his child. And then he saw his mother, hatefully carving his arm for every failed technique.
"Mom, my arm hurts." He begged crying.
This time you're doing it right! She said. His heart was pounding in panic.
Did his mother hate him?

"You were never loved. Everyone just admired you for your strength and your looks...", the poisonous voice whispered to him.
If only he knew that Utahime was still alive... could see how worried she was looking at him.
Her death was also just a cruel delusion, which Sukuna showed him.

Had Satoru ever shed a tear or lose his nerve? No.
And now the great sorcerer burst into painful tears and cried as loudly as he could.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, YOU BASTARD?"

"Don't get cheeky. I'm just giving him what he asked for."

"Why didn't you disband?" Satoru hissed hatefully at Sukuna.
You are completely alone. Just because you wanted to save useless human. Maybe now you would have had a wife and children, real friends. You have made yourself a slave to human.
Satoru couldn't believe his eyes. Was that...?
"Utahime?" He smiled. "I thought you were..."

"Dead? Because I'm weak, right?" Her sarcastic laugh stole his smile.
"Now look at you. Finally I can prove to you that I'm stronger than you, before you die."

Satoru had never felt such pain before. Her words were sharper than a dagger.
"Wouldn't you care, if I died?" He asked with tears in his eyes.

"Of course I do care. I want you to die!" Another stab in his heart. "You made me doubt myself even more, like the prejudices I had to deal with as a woman, weren't enough."

"But you are strong. Also as a person. I've always admired that about you. Your feelings have never been your weakness." He shakily tried to get up, but he fell to his knees in front of her.

"Still, you never respected me!" Utahime grabbed him by his hair so he had to look up at her, straining to open his sky-blue eyes.

"I'm... really sorry, Utahime." The way he said her name was heartbreaking.
"I was too afraid of getting hurt again."

"That's exactly what you are! A selfish bastard! Even though you loved me, you treated me like shit!"

Blood dripped from his heart onto the floor. All he could feel was pain.
"I still love you. That's why..." He smiled as he cried. "...I'm glad I'll die instead of you."

Sukuna grinned devilishly. "He is slowly giving up on his life. Finally."

How couldn't she see how much she meant to him? Otherwise, could Sukuna have tormented him so much with her hatred? At the sight of Satoru, hot tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Let him go! Please!" Utahime pleaded. "You have had your fun!"

*He is strong. Most people would have gone crazy after so much pain.*
"I won't let him go until he begs for his death. Too bad, I can't kill you."
He stroked Utahime's cheek. "But I could make it look like you had fun with me for him.
I'm sure he'd like that." He allowed Utahime to slap his hand away.

"Do not touch me! Dirty asshole! Satoru! He's just showing you delusions!" Utahime shouted worriedly. But Satoru only heard Sukuna's version of her words.

Satoru... I hate you so much.
He winced and shook his head. "Don't say that, please."
There shouldn't be more heartless words to cut his heart.
And yet his suffering was so great that he had to cry loudly and sobbed.

Sukuna laughed scornfully. "He was right. Seeing him like this is really fantastic."
"It's a..." Sukuna breathed in pleasure. "...incredible feeling of power!"

It was frightening to see the strongest sorcerer so broken.
"Don't believe anything he says Satoru, please!"

"Do you really think you can break him out of my spell? Don't waste your energy.
You'll need it right after he dies."

Utahime tried to think of funny moments, but she couldn't think of much.
If only she had been a little nicer to him. She should have noticed he never wanted to harm her. But her pride had blinded her.
She had to smile as she remembered something.
"You put baseball in the box as a lottery ticket just for me, didn't you? That was sweet."

Suddenly it became quiet, like Satoru really could hear her voice.

"Remember, when you snuck up on me and bit into my rice balls. I had smeared it on your face.
You ate the leftovers anyway. I realize now... you made me forget my loneliness. No matter how annoying you were, I never hated you. Do you hear?"

"Stop chattering!" Sukuna yelled at her.

But no matter how terrifying Sukuna was, he couldn't stop her from keep trying.
Although, Satoru wasn't even looking at her, she had the impression he could somehow hear her.
"There are people who need you. Yuji's execution was only postponed because of you. Please don't give up. And Megumi. I am sure-"

Sukuna grabbed Utahime by her mouth.
*This pain in the ass actually brings him back to reality.*
"Whatever! Then let's get to it now... TO THE GRAND FINALE!"
He easily took his last piece from Satoru and swallowed that finger, too.

Utahime immediately ran to Satoru and caressed his face, reminding his senses of reality.
"Satoru, please come back."

That was Utahime! She was still alive!
"I knew you could do it."

She had never seen Satoru look at her with such pride and gratitude.
This brought a smile to her lips.

"He manifests himself. I have to protect Yuji's body."
Satoru tried to get up and Utahime supported him by his arm.

"But he swore not to harm him."

"He swore he wouldn't intentionally harm him. He doesn't have to heal Yuji."

Utahime watched Satoru surrounding Yuji with his curse energy to prevent Sukuna from tearing him apart. She was impressed by his strength, as he didn't look at all like he had just woken up from Sukuna's torture.

And up there he was. Two-faced Sukuna presented himself in his complete body.
Red like fire. A deafening roar rang out. The voice sounded out of this world.
Ans as soon as Yuji's motionless body fell to the ground, Sukuna attacked the strongest sorcerer, not wasting a single moment.

Satoru blocked the deadly attack at the very last moment with his infinity.
"Utahime! Take Yuji and get to safety. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I could increase your curse energy. Sukuna can't hurt me anyway."

"If I die, the contract will be cancelled. Then he will attack you. Now go!"

"Forget it! I won't leave you alone!"

Even though Satoru had a challenging opponent, Utahime's enchanting dancing skills still distracted him for a moment. But that wasn't why even his enhanced hollow purple could do little against Sukuna. He was just too strong.
Something was strange. Satorus curse energy felt like...

"What is it, special grade?" Sukuna grinned devilishly. „Aren't you infinitely strong after all?"

Satoru's heart jumped. Did Sukuna damaged his sixth eye during his torture?
This meant, he was actually using up curse power that he couldn't regenerate.
*But my curse techniques can't stop him forever.*
"Domain expansion... The endless void..."

Even though Utahime trusted Satoru, it frightened her to see him so serious, not calm, as usual.
Something wasn't right.

"That was stupid of you." Sukuna said, putting his fingers together. "Domain expansion ... Shrine of dark souls."

Satoru saw the disappointment in Sukunas devilish eyes and grinned proudly.
His domain was able to unfold, but he couldn't completely push back Satoru's endless void.
"That's interesting. Your domain is apparantly just as strong as mine."

"Lucky one."

As Utahime was excluded to their domains, it was impossible to strengthen Satoru's curse energy, she only was able to watch, what was happening in there.
Suddenly, Utahimes Heart stopped beating for a moment.
Satorus barrier let Sukunas curse energy far too close to him. How was that even possible?
"Satoru!" She shouted worriedly. "His curse energy is coming through!"
In fact, a small amount of Sukuna's curse energy could no longer be slowed by Satorus infinity. Nevertheless, this didn't stop Satoru from using all his power.
*He will die... Sukuna will kill him...*

And Sukuna completely shattered Satoru's infinity.
The great sorcerer... the special grade... Satoru Gojo... had lost.
Instantly, a huge remorse filled his heart. He thought of Suguru. And Utahime...
Now it was too late for anything. He would die now.

At that moment, Satoru heard a loud thud and felt a pressure on his chest.
He immediately opened his eyes, but he couldn't believe them.
Utahime stood in front of him and had received Sukuna's attack.
"UTAHIME!" She fell into his arms.

Sukuna stared at her in shock. Iron chains swung around his neck and body.
"NO, THAT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL!" He roared in his monstrous voice.
"I DIDN'T AIM TO ATTACK HER! I DIDN'T BREAK MY VOW!"
A deafening roar rang out and was followed by a strange silence.

It was over. This time, Two-faced Sukuna was destroyed forever.

Satoru dissolved his domain.
"Utahime! can you hear me?" She lay motionless in his arms. He held his fingers in front of her lips, but he couldn't feel her breath! His throat constricted. Was she...?
"UTAHIME!" Tears filled his eyes. He couldn't watch her die again.
Even the imagination was too painful so he started to tremble.
Satoru felt her pulse. It was weak, but she was still alive. Thankfully!
And even before he had to ventilate her, Utahime gasped and winced briefly.
"Utahime!"

"Satoru? Is Sukuna dead?" She tried to sit down.

"Yes." Hard to imagine. "Why did you do that, Utahime?"

"I couldn't let you-" She tried to smile. "...get all the glory."

He laughed a little. "You realy scared me."

"How did I...survive?"

"Sukuna's attack was probably weakened when he hit you because he broke the contract.
But it was pure luck." He helped her up a little. "Can you stand up?"

She held her forehead. "I'm feeling dizzy. Everything I see is energy mostly."

"Just close your eyes." He helped her up but she couldn't walk properly.
"Shall I take you in my arms?"

Their hearts stopped for a moment at that idea.
"No, no. I'm fine", she hurried to tell him while tring to get up, but Satoru still had his hands ready for her in case she needed help.
"You're shaking." Utahime remarked.

"Me?" He pursed his lips. "I just fought Sukuna. It's normal, right?"

"Hard to believe it's actually over."

"Yes, that's... a strange feeling. From now on everything will be easier."

Notes:

This is the very first time I upload a fanfiction of mine and my very first Gojohime fanfiction. I'm really excited about how you'll like it and hope you enjoy reading :)

Chapter 2: No matter how

Chapter Text

The fight between the sorcerers and Sukuna had been heard even in the Tokyo academy.
Since Shoko was the only one who could help Yuji and Utahime and Satoru could leave longer distances with teleporting than anyone else, it was best to bring Utahime and the unconscious Yuji to the Tokyo academy.
Thankfully, Satoru could teleport them into the train to Tokyo whithout anyone noticing him and it only took a little more than two hours to reach the academy.

"I'm really glad that nothing happened to you."
Shoko said while she was checking Utahime in her office.

"Thank you for everything, Shoko."

"I'll let Satoru know you're okay. He had been worried."

"Was he waiting?"

"Yes. I haven't seen him this caring in a long time." Shoko said, making Utahine's cheeks flush.
"I'll be right back." She closed the door behind her as she entered the hallway and met Satoru's worried gaze.

"Is everything all right with Utahime?"

"Yes, she is fine. Are you sure you don't want me to examine you today?"

"I'm okay."

"But I want to check you as soon as you got some rest. No more excuses."

Satoru grinned. "At your command, doc. And how is Yuji? Is he awake?"

"No, not yet. But he'll recover soon."

"Thank you, Shoko. Let me know as soon as he wakes up."
He was about to leave when he was stopped by Shoko.

"Uh- don't you wanna talk to her?"

"Oh, I... don't want to disturb her now."

The next day...

"Good, if you have nothing else to report, you can go."

"Yes, Master Yaga." Utahime bowed.

"Satoru... take Utahime as an example. Why don't you ever bow to me?"

Utahime sighed in shame for Satoru.

"I respect my elders in my own way." He said unconcernedly.

"So should you with your behavior. How about we practice it here and now? If it annoys you to show respect to much older people, bow to Utahime."

Neither of them had expected this suggestion. Even though Utahime always wanted to be respected by Satoru, she felt uncomfortable by the idea he bowed to her.
Satoru didn't seem to be willing anyway, as he only crossed his arms in annoyance.

"She should be the one who bow to me. I'm the stronger one here."

"WHAT?" Utahime snapped like a volcano.
"Do you want me to show you who's the stronger one?!"

"I'm certainly not going to show respect to a fury like that. I'll get the hell out of here."

Utahime shouted at him, while he simply ignored her and left the room. Stomping after him angrily, she caught up with him in the hallway and kicked him lightly on his leg.

"Outch!" Satoru stopped and rubbed the spot.
"Did I turn off my infinity for nothing? I thought you were going to hug me."

"Why would I do that after you called me a fury, ha?"

He grinned. "But you are."

Furious, Utahime grabbed Satoru by his hair and pulled him down to her.
"Say you're sorry!"

Satoru's heart stopped in shock as this scenario was too familiar right now.

"Say it!" Utahime saw a tear run down his cheek.
Shocked, she immediately let go of him and looked guilty.
"Satoru... I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to hurt you."

Satoru tried to smile while rubbing his head. "It's okay. Didn't hurt at all."

It was so uncofortable for Utahime, that it suited her to hear that Satoru was okay.
So she said goodbye to him roughly and ran to her room.

After Shoko had informed Satoru, Yuji had finally woken up, he immediately rushed to Shokos office to see his beloved student.
"Yuji! So good to see you again." He greeted the boy with opened arms.

"Satoru!" They did a high five. "Did you hear? I'm not going to be executed!"
The pink-haired boy said with sparkling eyes. "I'd be way too young, wouldn't I?"

Satoru smiled. "Yes, Yuji. You would be too young. Are you all right?"

"Jo." Yuji grinned as widely as he could.

"The others will be happy to see you, too. Hey, shall we do another surprise?"

Yuji pulled a long face. "No. You know what happened last time."

Satoru laughed. "Alright then."

"So tell me! What exactly happened in the fight? What did Sukuna look like?
And what about you and Utahime now?"

Satoru's heart skipped a beat. "Huh? What's supposed to be?"

Yuji giggled excitedly.
"You know what I mean. You were totally flirting with each other, I have heard everything."

Had Yuji not slept after all? That made the whole thing even more embarrassing.
"Just get some rest, will you?"

"Huh? Why are you changing the subject? Wait! Did she dump you?"
Yuji had to laugh.

"What, me?" Satoru waved his hand with a grin. "No way a woman could resist me."

Yuji narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "How arrogant."

After visiting Yuji, Satoru went home aimlessly. What else could he do right now? Megumi wasn't in that mood after what happened to Yuji, who could blame him? Yuji had to recover from his injuries and shoko, well he could still count on her but since Suguru... At least, they could try to become friends again like when they were younger, since he didn't get anyone else left from that time.
With that thought, Satoru sat down on his couch, as a strange emptiness came over him.
That was it? He only had his students to hang around with? He loved them, yes, but they were not his age and he couldn't ask them favors or ask to listen to him, when he had a problem.

You've made yourself a slave to humans...

He reached for his phone and called Kento, who didn't pay much attention to him.
"I don't have much time. Get to the point." He just said.

"Fine, I'll cut it short then." Said Satoru. "Have you ever thought about starting a family?
You know, getting married... Having kids and stuff."

"And that's so important, that you had to interrupt me?"

A short silence.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to."

As soon as he hung up, Satoru's tears began to flow quietly down his cheek.
In this silence, his loneliness only became clearer. Who else could he share his worries with,
but with Shoko? And Satoru wasn't even sure if he was someone important in her life anymore. Had Sukuna been right? Did noone love him? Was he alone?
The pain inside him became so unbearable that he had to cry loudly, but the knock on the door forced him to calm down. So he wiped away his tears, put on his dark glasses and opened the door.
His heart stopped, as he didn't expect her.

"Hey." He smiled excitedly.

"Hey."

Satoru stepped aside a little. "Uhm... why don't you come in?"

"Oh no, I just wanted to..." Utahime stared at him worriedly. "Have you been crying? You haven't, because I pulled your hair, have you?" She smiled, embarrassed.

Satoru laughed a little, trying to cover his pain. "No. Of course not."

"What is it then?"

"Nothing, I was just... I was watching a sad scene from an anime."
By the look on her face, he could guess Utahime didn't believe a word he said.
So he sighed in surrender.
"I can't stop thinking about what Sukuna showed me. You... hated me and..."
His eyes filled with tears again. "… wanted me to die."

Utahime stared at him in wonder. Did it mean that much to him?
She laughed a little to lighten the situation.
"Hey. Just because I don't get along with you doesn't mean I hate you."

His pain barely showed in his laughter. "And do you get along with me now?"

"I don't know. You're always teasing me. Why don't you just stop?"

He grinned cheekily. "But.. then you look extra pretty."

Utahime furrowed her brow angrily. "WHAT?!"

Satorus smile changed a bit. "I'm sorry. I won't tease you anymore, okay?"

"Should I trust you?"

"I promise. But uhm... you really don't wanna come in? We could watch a movie or something.
I need distraction."

"All right, then. But just to make you feel better. Don't get cocky."
She stepped through the door.

She already could make him laugh.
"What can I offer you?"

Utahime made herself comfortable on Satoru's couch.
"You don't have anything alcoholic, do you?"

"Nah. You know I'm not big on alcohol, but I can get you something quick."

"No, no. It's okay." Utahime watched Satoru bring her snacks and coke.
"Tell me... Is everything okay with you? Because of Sukuna, I mean."

"I think so." He walked over to the TV and crouched down to rummage through his DVDs.
"It's just... I'm afraid he's done something to me. I see curse energy much weaker than usual now. I have noticed after leaving the academy."
He didn't take his excited eyes off Utahime as she walked to him and knelt down beside him. What was she up to?

"May I...?"

He only blinked as she put her fingers to his glasses and slowly removed them.
That was far too intimate. Almost as if she was undressing him.
His heart was about to burst. Was he still breathing at all? Satoru felt so silly, he kept getting nervous around her. He never considered himself like this.
Was that just an after-effect of Sukuna's torture?

Utahime stared into his eyes. She had almost forgotten that they looked like the sky.
Never noticed his white eyelashes resembled the soft feathers of a dandelion. But it was nothing more like admiring a flowers beauty. Not that she found him attractive. No.

"Why are you staring like that?"

*Was I staring at him?*
"I.. I was... thinking... whether we should test, if you can still see my curse energy."

"Yes, I can. But still weak." His eyes flitted.
Something about her gaze made Satoru nervous. He knew this feeling from somewhere.
From a time... long ago. His gaze rested briefly on her beautiful lips.
They were so close. His heart was pounding in his throat.

Utahime giggled in embarrassment as she handed him back his glasses.
"Well, better for me. I guess we're evenly matched now."

Satoru pretended to choose a suitable movie. It was a good excuse not to look at her face.
"You know, I never realized how I made you feel by teasing you with your weakness. I'm sure,
it was't easy for you to get respect while facing a number of prejudices as a woman."

"How... did you think of that?"

"You told me in my mind when Sukuna was torturing me."

Utahime's smile vanished as she remembered the sight of him.
"Oh yes, I... Remember."

Satoru's heart leapt. "Was I thinking out loud?"

"Yes... you did."

*Then she also heard my love confession!*
And what Utahime was about to say would confirm his suspicions.

"So Sukuna did one thing right. Otherwise you would never have confessed to me."

Suddenly, all the DVDs slipped out of Satoru's hand and fell in all directions.
He laughed nervously and tidied up the plastic packaging.
How embarrassing that she knew about his feelings! At least she didn't mind.
If not she wouldn't have brought it up and... looked at him like that.
"Well, what else could be my reason to tease you? To attract your attention, no matter how." Satoru smiled shyly.

"I... don't get the connection, but... I'm glad you know how I fared as a woman, now."

*What the- I almost spilled the beans! Maybe I didn't speak that intelligible throughout.*
And even though he was relieved about that, the redemption of his confession was also gone.
His gaze got lost somewhere in emptyness.

"You... really aren't hurt, are you?" Utahime asked worriedly.

Satoru smiled. "No, you worry too much."

"Well, you always seem so carefree, but... maybe your soft face reflects how fragile your heart actually is."

"Soft?" He smiled, sounding almost offended.

"Yes."

Suddenly he clapped a DVD between his hands.
"Whatever. Now let's watch the movie." He said in his idiotic voice.

Both took seat on the other ends of the couch and hardly dared to look in their direction.
At most, they exchanged opinions at a few interesting points and didn't talk much else.

"And did you like it?"

"Yes, it was quite nice."
She stood up and Satoru immediately followed, watching hopefully at her.

"Stay... just a little longer? It's the first time you are at my home."

"Uh... I... wanted to rest and stuff, you know, before I leave tomorrow?"

He nodded, a little disappointed.
"Are you... So are you coming to visit us soon?

She barely looked him in the face. "Maybe, we'll see."

He grinned. "Don't make me wait too long for you, though."
At her look, he said something more.
"I'm just kidding. Send me a message when you get to Kyoto, okay?"

Utahime smiled embarrassed. "I'm not a child."

"I just wanna make sure you get there safely."

"Yeah well, I will." She said with a laugh.

Satoru scratched the back of his neck.
"Then... thank you for staying. It was nice."

"Take care, Satoru." She smiled and then walked down the stairs, not knowing that Satoru was still watching after her until she was out of sight.

*Should I even tell her? Even if I do... Will she ever like me?*
A thin prick stinged his chest at that thought.

Next morning, Satoru and the Tokyo students gathered at the yard to say goodbye to Utahime.

„Thank you for everything, Utahime." Yuji said. „I don't know, what would have happened to me, if you hadn't defeated Sukuna. I mean, that's why I didn't get executed, right?"

"Actually... It was only Satoru who convinced the elders that your execution would be a waste."

Satoru looked modestly to the side while his students looked at him in suprise.

Without hesitation, the boy ran over to Satoru and pressed his head against his chest.
"I'm so glad you're here, Satoru." Yuji said while hugging his teacher tightly and crying.

The white-haired man blinked in surprise. So Sukuna had been wrong.
He was loved indeed. His heart warmed like never before. Lovingly he stroked Yuji's pink-dyed hair.
"I'm glad you're here too, Yuji."

The sight of them was so heartwarming that everyone had to stare at the two, even Megumi.
But it was time for Utahime to leave.
"So, take care, Satoru", she said.

"Come back soon." Satoru only waved to her, which surprised Yuji.

"Huh? And you don't even say goodbye to her properly?"

"How was I supposed to?"

Even before Satoru finished his sentence, Yuji rushed to the Kyoto team leader.
"Utahime!"

She stopped for Yuji. "Yes?"

"Satoru wanted to tell you something." He grinned.
And suddenly the man they were talking about appeared next to them.

Utahime's confused gaze moved from Yuji to Satoru, whos embarrassment seemed almost panicked in contrast to Yuji's amusement, which she couldn't explain either.
"What did you want to tell me?"

Satoru grinned exaggeratedly.
"Nothing. I was just making fun of you, and Yuji thinks I should be honest with you."

Yuji squinted his eyes in annoyance. Satoru had just thrown all his effort into garbage.

"Okay, you two. I really have to go now. And Yuji, don't let Satoru's silliness affect you, okay?"

The boy nodded as if he really was listening to her.
As Yuji made sure Utahime was far enough from them and the other students left,
he whispered to his teacher. "Why didn't you tell her?"

Megumi turned back. "Tell what?"

"Satoru has a crush on Utahime."

"WHAT?!" Megumi immediately questioned him. "Since when? Does she like you, too?"

Embarrassed, Satoru waved his hand.
"There's really nothing there, guys."

Yuji groaned in annoyance.
"Do you two always have to have everything pulled out of your noses?"

"Find a woman for once. Then you can annoy her instead of me." Megumi muttered.

Satoru grinned. "Well, even then you wouldn't get rid of me."

The black-haired boy crossed his arms, grumbling.

Chapter 3: Flashback: Strawberries, icing and dark chocolate

Notes:

This chapter is a flashback of the time when Satoru and Utahime were younger. A few more flashback chapters will be uploaded in between the main chapters also including some scenes from the Premature Death Arc, which I extended. I really enjoyed writing these chapters cause it's so funny Satoru does everything just to get Utahimes attention^^

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Satoru always had private lessons at his parents' estate only. He is too conspicuous for public schools, they said. After their untimely death, Satoru grew up with his last relative, who also recently died, but whose death Satoru was able to cope with quite well. But even as a child, there was a great burden on Satoru's little shoulders. He was the child with the shining eyes. The sixth eyes. Not only the Gojos expected great things from him, all sorcerers did.

And now, as an almost sixteen years old, he came to the Jujutsu Academy in Tokyo as the youngest sorcerer ever. Proud that he had passed the aptitude test with ease, he now took his first real step towards his glorious future and arrived at the training field as agreed.
But this wasn't how Satoru had imagined his day of meeting.
Nobody was there but him. Where were his three comrades Mr. Yaga spoke of?

Shortly afterwards, he spotted someone on the other side of the training field.
A young man with dark, short hair was walking in his direction. As he noticed, the boy didn't have short hair, but rather a bun.
Satoru greeted the boy with a friendly "Hey."

"Hey." The dark haired boy said, not paying much attention to Satoru.
Only now did he look at him. "You have snow-white hair."

"Oh really?"

The other grinned guiltily. "Sorry, I..." He checked his messages briefly.
"My mind was somewhere else." Then he held out his hand.
"Suguru."

Should he, like a westerner, clap his hand?
The white-haired grinned broadly and gave his young colleague a cool handshake.
"Satoru."

His already narrow eyes completely disappeared with his grin.
"Are you the only new one? Not a single one of the pompous snots?"

"You mean the Zenins?"

Suguru laughed cheekily.
"So you've already had to deal with sorcerers? Very well."

As Satoru found out, this wasn't Suguru's first training. He had even dealt with his first curse,
he told Satoru, as if it had been nothing.
"And... what are the others like?"

Suguru shrugged his shoulder. "They're nice, but don't talk much. Especially the blonde one."
He sat down on the bench. "Hey, if you want to, hang out with me and Shoko."

"Is Shoko your girlfriend?"

Suguru widened his narrow eyes in shame. "No, she... uhm... she's just a good friend."

"Oh." Satoru chuckled.

"Wouldn't be well regarded here at the academy anyway."

Satoru furrowed his brow. "Oh yeah?"

"Foolish to get attached to someone you could lose at any time, don't you think?"

Satoru didn't want to think about the meaning of those words. Especially not because they caused him to panic slightly – for whatever reason. The only thing he was interested in was jujutsu.
"All right. Then we'll be a really cool trio." Satoru grinned as widely as he could.

At that moment, their teacher, Mr. Yaga, joined the two boys.
The man plucked at a cuddly toy that looked like a spherical bear.
"Where are the others, Geto?"

"The blond one called in sick and Shoko had to take Utahime to Mrs. Ito."

Curiously, Satoru turned to Suguru. "And who is Utahime?"

"One of the second graders."

"Then I'll go and look for her. So, Geto... Gojo... Stay decent."
He left the boys alone.

Satoru's heart stopped for a moment. If your name was Gojo, you could have mentioned that.
But to his surprise and relieve, Suguru didn't question him, so Satoru didn't say anything about it.
"Mr. Yaga has a screw loose, doesn't he?"

"So does everyone here, believe me." Suguru said, making Satoru and himself laugh.

Shoko joined the meeting a little later. A petite girl with brown hair, reminding to milk chocolate.
She had brought something for the boys and herself to snack on.

"How sweet of you to think of me, too." Satoru said.

"Sure." The girl smiled kindly at her new colleague.

"So, what happened to her this time?" Suguru asked.

"She was hit by a curse." Before Suguru could protest, Shoko said something more.
"Not everyone is as talented as you, Suguru."

"We are the ones who have to be strong and protect the weaks. Not otherwise. But well.
At least she seems ambitious. That's a good thing, too."

"Good boy. Keep beeing nice, all right?" Shoko pecked the tip of Suguru's nose.

Satoru giggled. They really would make a great trio.
And his intuition was right about that. Over the next few days, the three students spent all of their time together and their friendship took up more space in their hearts.

One weekend, the Jujutsu Academy organized a small welcome party for the new students. Everyone was there. Kento, the blond one chilling with the shy Haibara and Kiyotaka. There was Mei, who liked to hang out with the slightly older ones, and the trio of Satoru, Suguru and Shoko, who skukled to a corner, so that Satoru could take a drag on Shoko's cigarette.
He almost coughed his lungs out.

"I told you, sweetie, it's not for you." Shoko said worriedly.

"I told you, it's poison." Suguru said and gave Shoko the same stern look, he always gave.

Satoru gasped one last time.
"And smoking is really addictive? It's just disgusting."

"Says the one who eats an entire candy store every day. How many times did we have to stop yesterday, Suguru, because he really wanted to have sweets?"

"Three times, I think. No... Once more for a crepe. With extra cream and sprinkles."

"Yeah, go ahead, make fun of me." Satoru said offended and pursed his lips.

Shoko and Suguru cuddled up to him, laughing, and Satoru couldn't hold back a laugh either.
At that moment, he saw someone sitting alone on a bench. A girl.
About his age. Her dark hair, tied in two braids, slipped over her shoulders as she leaned her head on her hand. She didn't seem to have noticed them.
Satoru had never seen her before. Was she new to the academy?

"So do we go back?" Suguru asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, if they catch us here, we'll be trouble." Shoko said nervously.

"Just you, missy." Suguru giggled cheekily.

"Asshole! Come on now." Shoko pulled them both into the building, but Satoru couldn't get this girl, sitting alone in the garden, out of his mind. Suguru and Shoko were busy putting cups on each other's heads anyway. So he decided to go back to the garden.
And there she sat. On the same bench. She was holding a paper cup in her hand, but she wasn't drinking out of it. Something innocent about her appearance drew him even closer to her.

"Hey." He called out before he reached her. She seemed surprised at this company and greeted him in confusion. "What are you doing here alone?" Satoru asked.

"Uhm, sitting."

"You know... I'm not blind..."
Satoru sat down next to her on the bench and leaned confidently against the backrest.

Suddenly, the girl stood up and held the cup in both hands.
"I... just wanted to get some fresh air."
It was only when Satoru stood up that she realized how tall he was. Now she was even more intimidated. And then his eyes lit up. Was he that handsome guy Mei had been raving about?
At least her description matched.

Satoru smiled charmingly. "Sorry, I... didn't mean to disturb you."
Somehow, he thought, it was totally cute that she was so shy.
"You... were alone, so I thought..." What was that in her gaze? It made Satoru nervous.
Foolish to get attached to someone you could lose at any time...
Why did he have to think of Suguru's words only now? His heart suddenly beat faster.

"Thank you. But please don't feel forced," she said sweetly as she played with one of her braids.

Satoru shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh, no big deal. After all, it's the cool kids' job to integrate the boring outsiders."

The girl spilled her entire drink on Satoru's face and angrily walked past him, hearing the boy following her. "Leave me alone, you idiot!" She yelled without looking back.

Satoru wet and the girl stomping into the building, they attracted everyone's attention instantly.
Shoko came up to the two. "What's going on?"

"Shoko, just keep him away from me, okay?" The girl ran off angrily.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to.. just wanted to cheer her up. She must have taken my joke too serious."

Shoko rubbed her forehead.
"Honey, didn't you get Utahime's a little sensitive?"

"Utahime? From second grade? But she's our age."

"Nope. Utahime is already nineteen or so."

"WHAT?!" Satoru's wide eyes widened even more. "Damn... she... looks so young."

"Right. She looks like she's seventeen or something."

"And me?" Satoru asked expectantly.

"Also like seventeen... or so. What are you grinning about?"

"Oh... Nothing." Yes, why was he grinning at all?

Although Shoko hadn't done anything to Utahime, she felt responsible for Satoru's behavior.
So she went over to Utahimes room to comfort her. It broke Shoko's heart to see her crying.
"I don't know what Gojo said to you, but... don't take him so serious."

"Gojo? Isn't it that sorcerer family with the special ability or something?"

"Really? I didn't know."

"No wonder he seemed so arrogant." Utahime said annoyed.

"No... Gojo isn't arrogant. He's... ok, he is a bit, but he's quite nice."

"Shoko..."

The brown-haired girl looked at her questioningly.

"I'm glad you are here."

She looked exactly as he remembered her. A pretty, petite girl with dark brown hair.
When had he forgiven her? He no longer felt any anger. How could he, when she was starring with eyes like a deers? Satoru wanted to kiss her so badly. Would she let him?

They were sitting on her bed, but her room looked different than he remembered.
It didn't matter. The only thing he was interested about was Misaki's beauty.
Was it really happening right now? Was she slowly leaning towards him?
Satoru closed his eyes and pursed his lips to receive her kiss. But when he opened his eyes again,
it was no longer Misaki who wanted to give him her kiss, but the sad girl with the raven-black hair. Utahime.
Why his heart was beating even faster when Utahime pressed a tender kiss to his lips?
He tasted... strawberries... icing... and... dark chocolate...

Everything faded to white as Satoru woke up with his heart racing.
It was strange that he was no longer angry with Misaki in his dream. He would never forgive her. But the stranger thing was that Misaki had turned into Utahime.
And why he was excited about the kiss? Overwhelmed, Satoru rubbed his face.

Especially after this dream, it became a habit for Satoru to tease Utahime at every opportunity.
He pulled her hair, bit into her food or called her weak.

Once, Satoru caught Utahime alone on the training field.
"So... you're practicing, ha?"

Utahime paid no attention to him and continued her training.
Nevertheless, Satoru stood next to her.
"Did you get scared because Mei has now been promoted to rank 1?"

"Why should I? Rank 2 is also an achievement."

"Probably out of pity, Uta-chan", he said as he opened his canned drink.

"Be careful how you talk to me, okay?"
The teasings of the demon-duo of Satoru and Suguru had driven the shy girl out of her.
"I'm older than you!"

"You don't even look older than me. I can't take you serious." He sipped his coke.
"Besides, the weaks should respect the strong ones. And since I'm much stronger than you..."
He said while pinching Utahime's cheek with his free hand.

She immediately slapped his hand away.
"Nothing better to do than constantly annoying me?"

"Uhm... nope."

"IDIOT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" She shout in his face.

Satoru took one last sip and threw the empty can with his curse energy into the trash can.
"Got it, you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of me."

"FUCK OFF!"

"Hmm... Even if I tell you that I can put up a shield in front of myself?"

"Sure you can." Utahime said skeptically.
"Then why didn't you stop me from slapping your Hand?"

Right... Why didn't he?
"I can prove it. Give me your hand."
At her suspicious look, he said something else.
"I won't hurt you." He pointed to his hand. "Come on. Try to touch my hand."

Sighing, Utahime stepped closer to him. For the first time he seemed a little trustworthy.
So she tried to place her palm against his, but some invisible force seemed to hold her hand back.
She looked at Satoru in shock.

"See? You can't touch me." Very gently, Satoru brushed her fingers with his.
"But I can." He said seductively.

His touch gave Utahime goosebumps. Immediately she took back her hand.
"What are you doing, Satoru?!" She asked with a shaky voice.

"I..." Why had he done that? "Oh, it's all my fault again? I'm leaving." He said offended.

"You wanted to teach me how I could do the shield thing!" She shout after him.

"Huh? No. I only asked, if I should show not teach. You don't have infinite curse energy. You won't be able to learn that technique."

"Great, what's the point then? Whatever, I don't need your help anyway!"

Satoru giggled and left Utahime alone. But where did this wild heartbeat come from again?

Notes:

If we assume that this chapter took place before Season 1, Satoru is reenacting his memory of Utahime with the magma curse Jogo. He must have missed her desperately if he even agreed to flirt with a curse XD

Chapter 4: Broken souls

Chapter Text

Satoru sat in Shoko's office for his examination. After everything he told her about Sukunas torture and the fight, Shoko had to have an insight into his soul to find out what was happening to him. Meanwhile she attached some cables on his naked chest to check his pulse and nerves.
After a while, she finally finished the examination and Satoru might not like what Shoko saw.

"Your sixth eye really isn't damaged, but... it's blocked."

Satoru looked a little worried. "Shit."

"Why did you let him into your soul anyway?" She asked sternly.

"I had to protect Yuji and Utahime."

"Sure, but..." Her eyes filled with tears.
"You're the only friend I have left."

Satoru's heart stopped at her words. So she still cared for him.
He briefly held her chin soothingly. "But you see? Nothing happened to me."
He wanted to remove the cables on his chest.

"Please, leave them on. I still have to keep an eye on your pulse."

Shoko seemed lost in thoughts. Satoru knew she was thinking about Suguru, too.
Apparently, even after years, they still couldn't talk about him.
"Shoko... did you ever thought, we're not doing right with...?"

"With what?"

"With… well, risking our lives. Maybe we should get married and have kids and stuff."

"Oh... where did this suddenly come from?" Shoko asked with a nervous smile.

"I don't know... since Sukuna's torture, I've been feeling like..."
He tried to describe the feeling. "Like I'm vulnarable. I've never let anything get to me. But now..."

"... everything you suppressed is coming up?"

He looked at her in shock. Then he smiled.
"You know me better than I know myself."

"Satoru... listen to me. Your sixth eye grants you infinite curse energy that can only be provided by an infinite emotion like carefreeness. Anger or excitement... feeling these emotions forever would be unbearable. But Sukuna made sure you couldn't suppress your feelings anymore. And as you do care now, your sixth eye is blocked."

Satoru grinned.
"So I have to manage to suppress my feelings again and then everything will be fine?"

"No!" Shoko didn't miss the disappointment in his eyes.
"This behavior of yours creates a wound in your soul and also in your psyche."

"But feelings are so... destructive."

"There are good feelings too, Satoru."

"I mostly meant the good feelings. They're not good for me."

"Don't be afraid of being human."

"And what can I do? Become an ordinary sorcerer?"

"If you learn to deal with your feelings, your sixth eye will no longer be blocked. Yes, maybe you will never be as strong as you used to be, but... still one of the strongest. And you can do that with psychotherapy."

Satoru sighed in annoyance.

"Please, take this seriously. And... stop teasing Utahime."

"Huh? Where does this suddenly come from?"

"She asked about you." Shoko giggled. "Your heart is suddenly beating faster."

"Oh really, how can you know that?"

"You're still connected to the device."

Satoru's gaze fell on the cables on his chest. He held his forehead in shame.

Shoko had to laugh and took the cables off him.
"I bet you didn't tell her anything."

Satoru pulled his black shirt on as he spoke.
"I almost spilled the beans, but I don't think she understood what I meant."

"So nothing happened? Nothing at all?"

"Well she... stayed for movie night and..."

"Yes?" Shoko asked excitedly.

"She, uhm..." He tried to recall Utahime's gaze in his memory. His heart was pounding again,
as if she was in front of him right now. „She was staring so strangely into my eyes."

"I think she likes you, too."

He had a sad glance in his eyes.
"Oh no, she... said she can't get along with me. No wonder."

"But if you give her time, she will replace the mean Satoru from her memories with the sweet Satoru."

"Doesn't mean she'll like me as a man."

"Why not? You're charming, intelligent and good-looking."

He pursed his lips. "True."

"Call her. She was worried."

Satoru sighed. "All of this is really not for me. My poor heart."

"Aaw. You'll get used to it." She winked at him.

"Thanks for everything, Shoko."

"Your welcome, my friend."

After he left Shoko's office, he called Utahime.
The tension was so unbearable that he hung up after ringing twice.
However, that didn't help him because Utahime called back immediately.
His heart nearly dropped into his stomach when he saw her name on his screen.
"Hello?"

"Hey, what's up?"

His heart was still beating wildly.
"Uuh... nothing, that was just supposed to be a ringing prank."

"Argh, Satoru, please. If there's nothing, I'll hang up."

"No! Uhm... Shoko! She asked me to call you. I didn't want to."

"You didn't want to?" Utahime asked, almost offended.

"No, no, that's not what I meant." Satoru slapped his forehead in shame.
"I mean, she said... you asked about me?" He took a shaky breath.

"Yeah... How do you feel?"

"Good..." There was a short silence. "You were worried about me?"

"Yes, of course. Just because you're Satoru Gojo doesn't mean nothing can ever happen to you."

"Right... Uhm... maybe this sounds a little strange but..."

"What is it? Spit it out." She asked understandingly.

He made his voice sound idiotic. "Well... I do feel a little offended."

"Huh? Why that?"

"Why you can't see from my soft face that I'm tough? Do you mean, I'm not that type of guy who appeals to women?"

"Why are you worried at all? You're very... I mean, you are strong and well... nice in your own way. Doesn't that make you attractive, too?"

"Oh, I knew you think I'm attractive. I just wanted to get you to confess me. Hello? Utahime?"
Their conversation had already ended. He blinked in surprise on his phone.
"Did she just hung up on me now?"

Only three weeks had passed and curses had recovered from the absence of Sukuna's enormous curse energy. They were get up to mischief again and the sorcerers had to face new challenges.

Satoru pursed his lips in annoyance.
"Why do I have to go on the mission with Utahime?"

"I would like to explicitly work on your ability to work as a team," Mr. Yaga said.
"You should learn to hold back a little. No one would be a better fit than her."

"Yeah, but... she distracts me. You know what I mean?" Satoru tried to explain desperately.

"Do you even have to tease her all the time? You have to finally get along with each other."

"No, I didn't mean..."

"Go and prepare for your trip to Kyoto."

"Well, don't tell me afterwards that I didn't warn you."

For whatever reason, it made her a little nervous knowing that Satoru would be coming to Kyoto today. Was it because of Sukuna's hints about her? Like Satoru was... No! He probably just wanted to make fun of Satoru.
Utahime thought about this as she had breakfast alone at her dining room table.

When you're angry, you look extra pretty...
I knew you think I'm attractive...
I had to get your attention somehow...

*And why did he...? Oh, it's probably his new way to get on my nerves.*
She probably wasn't reassured because her heart was racing when his name flashed on her screen.
"Satoru?"

Surprisingly, she didn't hear the voice she expected, but that of Principal Gaguganji.
"I ask you to come to the academy. Gojo and me are waiting for you." He said.

Her heart stopped. "Yes, of course. I'm on my way."

"Why is your voice shaking, dear Utahime? Are you so excited to see me?"

"Satoru! Uh- Why are you putting me on speaker?!" She heard Satoru giggling.

Master Gaguganji looked at Satoru blankly. "What's going on?"

"Nothing Grandpa."

"You little..." The old man sighed in annoyance and hung up.

Utahime took a deep breath to calm her racing heart as she opened the door to the meeting room. She was surprised to only see her sensei. Strange that her heartbeat calmed down again.
"Master Gaguganji? Where is Satoru?"

"He probably didn't think it was necessary to wait for you. This brat is getting on my nerves so much. But that actually suited me. Then we can talk in private."

"Is there a problem?" She sat on the floor in front of Master Gaguganji.

"I agreed to Masamichi's suggestion to send you on a mission together for only one reason.
On this mission you will outshine Satoru Gojo."

"I... wasn't planning on let him get all the glory anyway, but... why this is so important to you?"

"He thinks he's indispensable. That's why he allows himself to disobey the academy's orders.
Like allowing Sukuna to fully manifest."

"He did that to protect me and Yuji."

"Even though you were ready to die, he looked at you like a helpless woman."

Utahime's heart beat faster with anger. Could Master Gaguganji be right?

"And something else. Find out what exactly is wrong with him and tell me."

After their meeting, Utahime headed straight for the guest rooms.
She impatiently knocked on Satoru's door several times. Finally the door was pushed aside.
"We need to talk." She said and walked straight into his room.

Satoru seductively pulled his glasses away from his eyes.
"So we're so close that you can just barge into my room?"

"Uh..." Her cheeks turned red. "I'm sorry. It... is important that's why..."

He laughed briefly. "It's okay. I wasn't serious."
Satoru sat on the floor and rested his arm loosely on his bent leg.
"So... what is it you really want to talk to me about?"

"Why didn't you wait for me? That was rude of you."

"You really missed me, didn't you?"
At her look, he sighed in surrender and gave her a real answer.
"Gaguganji was annoying me. Why is he shitting on me for saving you?"

"He thinks you just did it to prove your strength."

"Do you believe him?" The still stern expression in her eyes disappointed him a little.
"I trusted you that you would break Sukuna's spell and we would defeat him together."
He saw Utahime's face relaxing. „I just couldn't let him hurt you."

His words made her heart tremble. She hadn't expected him saying that.

"Please don't ever think that I want to belittle you again."

She smiled sheepishly. "I will not. And… thank you for protecting me."

"Not worth mentioning. Without you I probably wouldn't be here right now."

"Well then... I'll go." She got up and Satoru ran after her.

"Hey, um... we go and get something to eat?"

"I can't."

"Please. I will spend."

"Really, Satoru. I keep thinking about my village being attacked."

Satoru looked shocked. "That was your village? I hope you didn't know the deceased."
Utahime's silence answered his question. "I'm... truly sorry, Utahime."

"Thank you for your compassion." She paused at first.
"Actually... a little distraction would be fine."
And Satoru was a real pro at it. "Let's walk in the garden if you want to."

"Sure. If it helps you?"

Satoru and Utahime walked quietly side by side through the sakura trees that decorated the walkway through the garden with their delicate pink petals.
Satoru put his hands in his pockets. Suddenly he had to laugh.

"What is it?" Utahime asked.

"Nothing. I just remembered something. It's been so long."

"Right. You mean when you were here for the exchange before the last."

"Yuta was the star among the new sorcerers. Thanks to me. Because I'm such a great teacher."

"Yeah, sure." Utahime said ironically.

"In fact, I was thinking about my visit before that. I must have been twenty-two or something.
Luckily, I didn't have to take part in the exchanges after that."

"How come? The exchanges weren't that bad after all." Utahime said.

"Well... I just got tired of you bossing me around."

Utahime suddenly stopped. "I knew it!" She pointed her finger at Satoru angrily.
"You just didn't like the fact that I was in a leadership position and you weren't!"
She didn't expect Satoru to turn back and pinch her cheek.

"I still felt happy for you." He said. But that didn't stop Utahime from slapping his hand away.
As punishment, Satoru pulled on her bow and ran away from her, laughing.

"Hey!" Utahime ran after him and jumped up to grab her bow. "Satoru! Give it back to me!"

"Nope. Hahahah." While she was trying to grab her bow, Utahime's hand slammed into Satoru's glasses, which hit the floor. Satoru didn't look at the floor but blinked at Utahime in shock.
"You could touch me?"

Utahime also looked just as frozen. "You haven't turned off your infinity?"

"No." Sighing, he leaned down and checked his glasses. One glass was shattered.

"Well done. If you hadn't been fooling around..."

"It's not about the glasses."

Chapter 5: Utahime's Village Part 1: An angels dream

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Even though it had been an hour now, Satoru still thought about Utahime's kiss from his dream.
He could still feel her on his lips and the excitement in his heart. And picturing her at the entrance to the Kyoto academy didn't help at all.
He greeted her with a smile. "Good morning."

"Good morning. You got here before me?"

"I was actually on time", he grinned proudly, as if it wasn't natural not to let people wait.

"Wow. I hope the world doesn't end."

Satoru laughed.

"You have new glasses?"

"Yes. Luckily I had a replacement."

On train on the way to Utahimes village, Satoru noticed that Utahime seemed a bit thoughtful.
"Come on, let's play a game. We take turns answering questions with the truth or doing something the other person says. Cool, ha? It was my idea."

"You mean truth or dare."

"Huh? Does that already exist? Ok, then let's play another game that I came up with.
You're trying to guess the object in my mind by..."

"... asking questions that you only answer with yes or no. Are you kidding me?"

"No. Honestly. So, I see something you don't see and it's… blue."
Did he mean his eyes she never saw or admired? Because the sky was completely overcast.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

"Oh, how boring you are. Well, you wouldn't have won anyway. There's nothing blue."

"Didn't you promise you wouldn't be annoying anymore?!"

"Was I annoying?" Satoru asked innocently. As Utahime was about to leave, he grabbed her wrist. "Ok, I'll stop, I promise." No, that sounded too nice. "For now."

She sat back down. "Idiot."

"Well, didn't that idiot make you grin? Come on, I can see you're grinning."
Now she really couldn't suppress a smile. How beautiful she looked.
"Smile more often. That looks so good on you."

"Don't you have anything to read or something?"

"Got it."

Utahime's village lay on a valley. Since the buses only drive to the nearby small town, they had to ask a villager, who was selling his vegetables in that town, to take them to Utahime's village.

"Ow! My butt really hurts," Satoru complained.

"Oh sorry Gojo-sama you couldn't travel in a luxury car."

"You didn't have to sit on wooden boards the whole way. But it was worth it. This place looks wonderful!" She agreed with him. "Wow, how beautiful... so many flowers!"

Utahime giggled.

"A man shouldn't just admire a woman's beauty, right?"

"You're right. Excuse me."

They walked the way down to the market place. Utahime almost had forgotten how clean the air had been here. A smile spread across her face as they neared their street.
"There it is! My grandparents' house."
Satoru watched her running towards the old house laughing and calling out "Grandmother!"
She almost seemed like a girl. The thought made him smile.

A petite old woman with very long white hair stepped out of the house with heavy steps,
opening her arms to her granddaughter and hugging her.
"My Utahime! Let me take a look at you. I missed your pretty face, my darling."
The old woman's eyes widened as her gaze rested on the boy.
"What a handsome young man... and so tall." She nudged her granddaughter on her hip.
"You really picked a good man."

Utahime groused in shame. "Grandma..."

"I like your grandmother." Satoru smiled sweetly and held her hand tightly.
"It's an honor to meet you."

"Why do you have whiter hair than me, young man?"
The old woman asked. Utahime was just as curious.

"It's called partial albinism. That's why only my hair is affected."

"How sad," the woman said, even though she barely understood anything.
"I've been grieving for my dark hair for so long and you never had any."

"Utahime always says this makes me look like an angel."

She hit Satoru on his arm. "Not true!"

"Yes, you really do, my dear." The grandmother pinched Satoru's cheek, making him giggle.
At that moment, the old woman was called by her curious neighbor.
"Go inside, kids. I'll be right there."

Utahime warned Satoru about the door being too low for him. They entered the traditionally Japanese living room. Little had changed since Utahime was here the last time.

"Tell me... did your grandmother really think that I was your..."

"No, of course not." Utahime said annoyed.
"At every opportunity she reminds me that I should finally get married."

"Oh, ok." Did he feel a little disappointment?

"So... here I am, kids. Sorry, curious Kaya wanted to know who the handsome young man was."

"And you told her...?" Utahime asked in a panic as they all sat down.

"That he is my son-in-law?", answered the old woman ashamed.

Satoru blinked in shock and had to suppress a grin.

"Grandmother! Why did you do that?"

"You can't imagine what she dared to say!" She slapped her hand angrily on her thigh.
"It's a wonder that a man likes you despite your nature. And then it just slipped out off me."
At her words Satoru couldn't hold back a grin this time.
"To be honest, I was hoping you wanted the boy to stay here to introduce him to us because you are planning to get married. You didn't explain anything."

"I thought, grandpa wouldn't mind anyway. I mean, I'm not a teenie anymore."

"But you will always be our little Utahime."

That was really sweet. But with his smile, an inexplicable pang crept into his heart.
Was he just jealous of Utahime?

"So you're not even... what do young people call it these days... together?"

"No, unfortunately not." Satoru was shocked that he had used the word unfortunately.
Hopefully Utahime hadn't noticed anything.

"And why not?" She looked accusingly at her granddaughter.
"The boy is so polite and so handsome."

Satoru bit his bottom lip, grinning again.

Utahime rubbed her forehead, overwhelmed. "Grandmother, please..."

"I'll leave you alone." Satoru said and walked into the garden.

"And how unerstanding he is." Suddenly the woman brought her hand to her mouth in shock.
"Because of Kaya, the whole village will think you are married! How do I explain this to Himari?
I invited her because she wanted to look at you for her son, Ichiro."

"WHAT?!" *Disgusting. At least the lie is worth it now.*
"Just don't tell Satoru about it." She warned her grandmother.

"Why not? Would he get jealous?" the old woman asked hopefully.

"No, he would just laugh at me. It's best to tell aunt Kaya the truth and not to invite aunt Himari." Utahime said as if it was that easy.

The old woman protested. "Never! We'll embarrass ourselves all over the village."
Suddenly the grandmother grinned somewhat deviously. "Unless you and your handsome friend play along with my lie and I have a good reason not to invite Himari and her son."

"Oh, this is all Satoru's fault!"

"My fault?" Satoru let go off the flower he was having a sniff of and stared at Utahime, showing he felt attacked.

"Oh... Utahime says I look like an angel...", she mimicked him annoyed.

"Did your grandmother take me serious?", he asked guiltily now.

"You got her hopes up unnecessarily."

"Sorry."

"I'll make a complete fool of myself", Utahime complained.

"You won't, if we play along with your grandmother's lie."

"I can't ask that of you."

"Nah.. not a big deal. Nobody knows me here anyway. If you tell the truth, everyone will think you lied out of desperation." Satoru grinned widely. "Which could be... considering how ugly you are."

Utahime tried not to yell at him. But the fact that she stomped back into the living-room gave away her anger. Immediately, Utahime's grandmother made a comment.
"Honey, you should control your temper a little. That's not proper for a lady."

"Yeah, that's what I always tell her." Satoru didn't look in Utahime's direction intentionally, cause he knew she was starring at him with an evil gaze.

"I'll call my mother and explain the situation to her. We can think of a lie later." She said and walked into the kitchen annoyed, without noticing that Satoru's eyes were following her.

"So, do you have a wife?", the grandmother asked as soon as she was alone with Satoru.

"Oh no. I am not married."

"No lover either? A handsome young man like you surely has many admirers."

Satoru's laughter revealed that she was right. However, he did not give a concrete answer to her question. His gaze kept falling to the half-open kitchen door to catch a glimpse of the beautiful woman inside.

"Apparently she doesn't repel you with her behavior."

Satoru's heart stopped. Hearing that his feelings for Utahime were so obvious totally embarrassed
him. Did Utahime noticed, too?
"Uhm... no of course not." His voice trembled, even though he had made up his mind
to sound calm. "She's a good colleague."

"Sure."

Later, Utahime's grandfather came home. He warmly greeted his granddaughter.
"My little girl!" His gaze finally fell on the stranger.

Satoru put on his sweetest smile. "Hello grandfather. I am Satoru."
But his grin instantly disappeared when the man shouted at him.

"What a cheek! You bow to your elders!"

"Yasu!" The old woman scolded her husband.

"Uh... Sorry. I forgot." He immediately bowed to Utahime's grandfather, surprising his colleague. Actually, Satoru was always allergic to this tradition.

"Then you probably haven't made a habit of it. Do you treat your parents like that, too?"

Utahime saw how overwhelmed Satoru was with this question, so she suggested sitting down.

Satoru didn't want to force himself on anyone, but it was necessary to stay with Utahime's grandparents until they could find a clue. And Satoru would attract too much attention elsewhere. That could endanger the mission. But no matter how calmly Utahime explained the matter to her grandfather, he was strictly against it. It was not proper for a young man to stay with them. Only when he found out the whole village would mistake them for a married couple, because of Kaya, her grandfather half agreed.
"Oh, do whatever you want. Noone in this family takes me serious anyway."

She knew her grandfather. That meant he didn't think it was that bad. But at dinner he didn't even allow Satoru sit next to Utahime. The grandfathers hint at a possible sexual attraction between the two let them blush a little, and Satoru sat down next to Utahime's grandmother in silence.

"Your garden is really enchanting. I've never seen flowers like that."
Satoru said, hoping it flattered the man.

"It was you who trampled on my beds?"

"Oh, I am sorry."

"You probably don't know anything about plants either, do you? Like these so-called scientists."

"Grandpa, please," Utahime whispered.

But Satoru didn't give up. During dinner, he quickly discovered that the old man liked to talk about politics. So he intentionally steered the conversation in that direction to convince him after all. After everyone finished, Utahime stood up and cleaned the table.
She had to smile when she saw Satoru also come into the kitchen to help her.
"You don't have to. I will do that."

"Just because I'm the guest doesn't mean I have to sit around."

Although Satoru came from one of the most respected sorcerer families, he was not arrogant.
He was cocky, but very humble in his own way.
"I'm sorry you had to put up with my grandfather."

"It's ok. He's just trying to protect you."

"But he doesn't chat with everyone so cheerfully. That means something."

Satoru smiled. "Then I really appreciate it."

Everyone got ready for bed. Of course, her grandfather had once again ordered that the boy should sleep in the living room - although Utahime and Satoru took that for granted anyway. After all, he couldn't have known that Satoru treated women with respect. His disrespectful attitude towards Utahime was something completely different. In order not to upset her grandfather, she quickly wished her colleague goodnight and scurried into her room.

Meanwhile, Utahime's grandmother prepared the couch for Satoru.
"Good night, my son." She said.

Satoru stared at the old woman in surprise as she opened her shaking arms for him. Had his grandmother seen his loneliness in his eyes?
Without thinking, Satoru leaned down a long way towards her. It didn't feel strange being hugged by this woman he barely knew, not at all. Quite the opposite.
Her closeness felt so motherly that it made Satoru get tears.

"If you need anything, let me know, son." She whispered and let him go.

"Thank you, Grandma," he said with the sad smile of an orphan.
She smiled back and went to her room.

Satoru couldn't stop grinning. It had been a long time since he felt... like he belonged somewhere.
Then he remembered that the neighbor had assumed that Utahime and he were married.
They seemed to fit each other. He liked that. Not that he was thinking about getting married -
they weren't even dating - but it was a nice imagination.

That night it was impossible for Utahime to sleep. The feeling that Suguru only waited until she fell asleep to attack her grandparents didn't leave her in peace - until her complex took over her thoughts. Why should Suguru pay attention to weak Utahime, when the dreaded Satoru Gojo slept in their living-room?

At least, she could sleep peacefully now.
No, she couldn't. What was that noise?

Like the whining was to blame for her insomnia, she angrily got up from her bed and opened her bedroom door. In fact, the whining came from the living room. It was Satoru.
Hard to imagine that he had nightmares. How sad, she thought... everyone forgot... he was only human. She remembered him crying when she was at his house.

Satoru rolled uncomfortably to the other side. Maybe she should wake him up?
She crept over to the sleeping tall man and leaned down so carefully, like she didn't want to interrupt his sleep.

"Satoru." She whispered.

As Satoru began to breathe frantically through his nose, she gently shook his shoulder and whispered louder this time.
"Satoru."

He woke up with a flinch and stared at Utahime like he barely recognized her.
"Utahime?" His breathing regulated again.

"Bad dream?"

It took him a moment to come back to reality. "I think so."
It was foreign that someone was beside him when he woke up. Foreign but beautiful, but shameful at the same time. He suddenly felt so vulnerable and exposed that the back of his neck tingled.

Satoru's hand shook as he took the glass of water from Utahime's hand.
She didn't miss that and hardly dared to ask what he had dreamed about.
"Better?"

"Yes, thank you. Did... I wake you up or something?"

She smiled. "No, I'm not used to strange beds."

Was she trying to tell him that she had the decency not to sleep with strange men?
He wouldn't have blamed her. You didn't only allowed to have sex in serious relationships, as long as you didn't break anyones heart. He also had had women in his life without losing his heart to them. Because his heart already had an owner.

"Try to go back to sleep, okay?"

He nodded, but secretly he wanted her to stay. Still, he put his head back on his pillow before Utahime even left the living-room and fell asleep, immediately.

Notes:

I think it's so cute Utahime's grandma ships them 3

Chapter 6: Utahime's Village Part 2: An angels fear

Chapter Text

Utahime opened her eyes to the morning. It was nice to wake up in this room. This meant she was away from her worries and could spend good time with her grandparents, even if she had had a terrible night.
It was only in the living-room she remembered that Satoru was staying here, too.
He lay on his back on the sofa, his white hair hanging loosely in all directions and his long eyelashes shimmering like silver in the sunlight. She hadn't seen that in the darkness of the night.
How innocent he looked, truly like an angel. Maybe she had never seen such a beautiful man. Maybe she had never seen anything so beautiful. She never wanted to admit to herself but Satoru's beauty could rival even that of a woman. He was like a beautiful flower that you couldn't take your eyes off. Only then she realized that she was staring at him with her lips open.
She scurried into the bathroom, immediately.

Satoru stretched a little and bumped his arm against something soft, which felt unusual.
Then he remembered where he was. How quiet it was here compared to Tokyo, like he was alone in the world. But he wasn't. Knowing that Utahime was sleeping in the next room completely heated him. Sometimes he didn't know what to do with these feelings.
It was all Sukuna's fault. Before, he had always had his emotions under control.
He held his forehead in shame and stared at his glasses on the side table.
*Do I even need you anymore?* Because now, he could see normally even without those.

Everyone was probably still asleep. Satoru was just putting on his shirt as he heard someone coming out of the bathroom. It was Utahime. Apparently she wasn't sleeping in her room then.

"What is it?" Satoru asked with a grin. Was she just staring at him?

"It… seems strange that you're here in my grandparents' house. Uhm... anyway,
we should investigate the area after breakfast." She said sternly.

He picked up his worn shirt and put it in his bag.
"Okay, but I have something important to do first."

"Hm? What could you have to do more important here?"

He grinned. "You will see."

When the grandparents woke up, Utahime and her grandmother were preparing breakfast in the kitchen and Satoru offered his help to cook a vegetable soup.
His grandmother helped him finding everything he needed.

"Shit!" Utahime sweared. She tried to flip the omelette, but it tore in half and slammed halfway onto the stove. "I hate making omelettes."

Of course, she caught Satoru's attention immediately.
"Oh, Uta-chan. You'll never find a husband."

Utahime growled angrily. "As if a woman would ever take you!"

"Do you see grandma? She always breaks my heart." Satoru said in a pitiful tone.

"Honey, don't be mean to the boy. Can't you see how sad he looks?"

"Didn't you hear what he just said?"

"That was just a joke." Satoru said like he was really hurt.

"But it wasn't funny at all an you promised not to be annoying anymore. A man your age should keep his promises. It almost sounds strange to call you a man."

The grandmother just shook her head and walked into the living-room.

A few minutes passed in a strange silence. Utahime had her back to Satoru, just hearing him chop the vegetables. She waited, but he still didn't say anything.
"Are you mad?" She asked roughly.

Satoru finally answered, somewhat delayed. "No."
His voice was shaking, like he was about to cry.

She sighed in annoyance. "Then why are you so quiet?"

He grinned exaggeratedly. "I wanted to focus on the soup. That's why."

"Good. You wouldn't have any reason to be angry."

Satoru pursed his lips cheekily. "Hmm. Then why did you wanna know if I was mad?"

"Because I hate it when people are angry for no reason. Is the soup almost ready?"

"Yes." As soon as Utahime left the kitchen, his smile disappeared.
It almost sounds strange to call you a man...

"Mmm, really tastey." Grandfather enthused.

Satoru grinned proudly. "I cooked it."

The old man laughed. "But I have a more suitable task for you. You're tall. Can you remove that annoying bird's nest from our big cherry tree, son? These birds keep dirtying my vegetables."

Satoru smiled sweetly. "Of course, grandfather."

"Thank you. You're such a good boy."

It wasn't part of the plan for Satoru to take care of her family. Yet he tried so hard.
Her smile sank into her shame, immediately. She always expected some evil intention behind Satoru's jokes, even though they always turned out to be innocent. This thought made her feel childish about her behavior earlier in the kitchen.

The two sorcerers wanted to set out to look around the village as they finished breakfast and Utahime's grandfather was getting up, too. "I'm coming with you." He said.

"Yasu!" The old woman knew exactly why her husband wanted to join them.
"Leave the kids alone. You can't even walk properly."

"Don't worry, grandpa. You trust Satoru, don't you?"

Satoru scratched the back of his neck in shame. The grandfather probably sensed that Satoru had his eye on his granddaughter. Still, the man was wrong to be worried. Satoru would never harm a woman.

Reluctantly the old man sat down again. "Don't stay away very long, though."

"Ok, see you later." Utahime said, scurrying out of the living-room with Satoru.
Once they were outside, she rubbed her forehead and let out an overwhelmed breath.

"So. Where can I buy vegetables?"

"And that's supposed to be important?" She asked sternly. Then she bit her lower lip.
Why was she always so harsh to him?

"Well... for your grandfather. I destroyed his vegetables and I want to make it up to him."

"Seriously?" Now she had a really giulty conscience.
Somehow this wish of him warmed her heart. "He's not so much concerned with the vegetables, but rather with watching them grow and caring for them, you know?"

"Oh. Then as a little consolation?"

She laughed. "Well, if it's that important to you, we'll go to the market later."
They walked for a bit without saying anything until Utahime broke the silence.
"Satoru..."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry about... before. I mean, in the kitchen. I overreacted a bit."

Satoru smiled kindly. "Understandable, right? I haven't been really nice to you."

"No, it's... I... think anger has just built up in me over the years, you know? Because I thought you didn't mean nice for me."

"I should have made it clearer to you that it was all fun."

How could it happen that he always annoyed her and she ended up feeling guilty? This showed that Satoru's jokes weren't mean at all, but her reactions were.
Utahime gave him a friendly nudge. "Then we're even?"

This was the first time Utahime had actually been friendly with him.
"I guess so." He couldn't help smiling.

"So, I suggest we start at the house of the deceased acquaintance of mine. Maybe we can find some remains there. And... I would also like to offer my condolences."

"Who was he to you?"

"He was like an uncle to me." She said a little sadly.

"I'm really sorry, Uta."

Then Utahime was called by two young women and she put on a fake smile
"Ah... It's been a while, girls. How are you?"

"Who is this? Your handsome cousin?" one asked.
The other sister also said something. "I would ask if he is your husband, but what man would put up with your insensitive attitude?" The two of them giggled dismissively.

"Actually, we're married." Satoru said, just to embarass the women.
He had to laugh inwardly at the look on their faces. But he hadn't expected Utahime to wrap her hands around his arm, so he looked down at her in surprise. Her touch gave him goosebumps.

"Yes, we are," Utahime confirmed boastfully. But she hadn't expected to think about how muscular Satoru felt like, although you could quess by looking at him.

"Oh yeah? And where is your wedding ring?"

"I have left it at home so that jealous people *like you...* wouldn't put bad energy on it. It's very precious, you know?"

Satoru glared at Utahime in a way, everyone would think him to be the luckiest man on the world. "Not more precious than our love, darling."

She looked up at him, amazed. *He seems really convincing.*

The two women looked at her displeasedly. "Well then... Congratulations..."
"See you. We're in a hurry." One sister said almost annoyed.

"We don't want to keep you off." Utahime grinned victoriously. "And thank you, girls."
After the two women finally left, Utahime let go of Satoru's arm.
His disappointment had left a small pang in his heart.
Utahime sighed in annoyance. "Thanks for joining this circus."

*If you only knew...* "It's nothing." He smiled nicely.
"I didn't want to embarrass your grandmother. What kind of nasty women were they?"

"Oh... the daughters of my grandparents' neighbors. They always teased me about being single just because they got married at the age of eighteen."

"Thh, noone does have to get married so young."

"Well, don't tell me. I'm not thinking about marriage yet, but at my age it's still insulting to hear something like that."

"What's wrong with your age?"

She giggled sweetly. "Well, it's easy for you to talk, you're only twenty-seven."

Only? Utahime had always insisted that she was older than him, but did Utahime also think that he was young compared to her?
"I'm already twenty-eight." He corrected her, hoping that at least twenty-eight sounded older to her. His heart began to race like crazy with embarrassment.
"You're not that much older than me though. Only two years or so."

"Of course I'm much older than you. Almost three years older even."

She did it again! Even was just one word and yet it was enough to make their age difference sound big. The fact that she was a few years older than him never bothered him.
Quite the opposite. He thought it made Utahime hot. Nevertheless, she should of course not see him as a young man, but as a real man. "Do I... look younger to you?"

"You don't have to worry, Satoru. It's good to look young."

He put on a grin. "Oh no, I'm not worried."

They arrived at the deceased's house. "So, I'll be right back, ok?"

As soon as Utahime disappeared into the small front yard of the house, Satoru sighed in annoyance and kicked a little stone out of the way.
Since when could a woman shake his self-confidence like that? Unfortunately, this made her even more attractive to him. Because curses weren't enough to satisfy his hunter instincts.

After offering her condolences to the family, Utahime questioned the wife and learned that uncle Haruki was attacked in the garden. Right there, Utahime had discovered something very strange. What she found was a seed about the size of a walnut. Concerned, she showed it to her colleague.
"This seed is full of curse power. It must come from that plant curse with the giant blossom."

"I thought I had excorsized him." Satoru stated.

Suddenly she felt sick and began to shake in fear.
"Satoru. Should we just go home instead of to the market?"

Satoru held her shoulders. "Hey, that doesn't have to mean anything. To be on the safe side, I'll also check your grandfather's garden later. And tomorrow we'll take them to Kyoto, all right?"

She nodded, somewhat reassured. "But let's not tell my grandparents about any of this."

"Hmm hm. I won't."

Chapter 7: Utahime's Village Part 3: Lies can be true

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Satoru went into the garden. He searched every corner for these cursed seeds. As he approached the small well, he felt a small amount of curse power. How had he missed that? He had been here in the garden yesterday.
There was a seed just like the one Utahime had found in the deceased's garden.
Satoru looked angry. *What the hell are they up to?*

He sent all the photos to Shoko along with his analysis and called Principal Yaga.
The first thing his sensei asked was if he and Utahime got along well.

"Things couldn't have gone better between us. That was one of your best ideas, sensei."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm really serious."

"Well then, I'm glad. So what's the matter?"

"I wanted to ask you to send more of the scientists who were searching the area for clues here."

"Which scientists? The mayor of the village would have informed me about that."

Satoru's heart stopped for a moment. "Uhm... just send people here."
He rushed into the house. Luckily, he caught Utahime's grandparents in the kitchen alone.
"Grandpa? Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, my boy. Ask me."

„Yesterday you've mentioned a scientist who has checked your garden after this incident."

"Yes, a very strange young man. He didn't explain much and barely listened to me."

"Strange... What did he look like?"

"Long dark hair, odd smile... and he had that weird gray-haired friend with him."

Satoru looked in shock. *Suguru.*

Just then Utahime came in.
"Grandpa... grandma... you're coming to Kyoto with us tomorrow. I want you to stay with us for a while until it's safe here again."

"What's supposed to happen?"

"Yasu... maybe the girl has a point."

"Well then", Utahime's grandfather said as the doorbell rang.

The old woman left the kitchen and called to them from the entrance.
"Utahime! Aunt Aiko is here!"

"I'm going to the garden." Utahime's grandfather said annoyed.

"Satoru. You really don't have to play along."

"Oh, it's okay. As I said, I don't want to embarrass your grandmother."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Satoru would never pass up the opportunity to play Utahime's husband. That would probably be his favorite role. And he really didn't have to be talented at acting, although in his opinion he did have talent. He rocked the role of the violin teacher who tried to seduce his student. However, Megumi wasn't that enthusiastic.

"And did you discover anything?" Utahime asked worriedly.

"No, everything is clean. No worries."

She breathed out in relief. "Thankfully."

The woman greeted her friend, then Utahime. "Hello dear. When I heard since you got married,
I had to come visit you as soon as possible."

"How did you know?"

She giggled. "Kaya told me."

Utahime tried to smile. Not just because she was a bad actress, it was sad that her marriage only made her interesting. As an individual she was unimportant, obviously.

"And this is my son-in-law. Satoru." The old woman proudly pointed at her supposed son-in-law, who put on his most charming smile.

"Oh, what a handsome man." The woman seemed quite impressed.
"Well, our Utahime is very beautiful, too."

"She really is," Satoru said charmed as he looked at Utahime.

Hearing him confirm her beauty really embarrassed her, even though she knew Satoru was just acting.

"How well they fit together, don't they?" Could the grandmother prevent imagining Utahime beeing together with Satoru? No, she couldn't.

Of course, Satoru immediately sat down next to Utahime and moved a little closer to her.
If Utahime sat too far from him, they wouldn't be convincing at all. And she didn't even look at him, like he wasn't there.
"Darling?"

Shocked, Utahime turned to her colleague, like she had forgotten why he spoke to her like that.
"Yes?"

What did he even want to say? It was just an excuse to address her as darling.
It took Satoru a moment to shake off the fantasy that they were really together, but he was only in control of his thoughts. His heart continued to beat stubbornly like crazy.
"Don't be so distant. That doesn't seem convincing."

Utahime's heart skipped a beat when Satoru leaned in and whispered in her ear.
His breath gave her goosebumps and tingles all the way down her back.
"Yeah..." Hopefully Satoru hadn't noticed that her voice was shaking.
Why was she even so nervous?
Then she felt her grandmother's glance on her and immediately moved away from him again.

"So, son? What do you do?" Aiko asked.

"I'm a police officer." It wasn't entirely a lie. After all, he also chased criminals.
Only, they weren't human.

"Yeah, and... he's really good at it," Utahime said like she was the proud wife.

"Thank you, darling," he smiled sweetly at her and received a friendly smile from her, too.
What he wouldn't have given for this scenario to be true?

The two older women continued to talk about the alleged couple.
Gradually, it became too tiring for Utahime, even for Satoru, to answer curious questions with lies. So they were happy that Aiko was finally going home.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well done. I'll check on your grandfather," said the old woman and walked out into the garden.

"Thank you again, Satoru."

"No problem." But Utahime didn't smile. She seemed more like... he couldn't tell.
"Is uhm... are you okay?"

She tried to smile. "Yes."

"You're not good at acting as I do." He bent slightly to see more of her face.
"Tell me, what's the matter?"

"Oh... it's because of my grandmother... her concern that I'm still not married. Because people always have to make such a fuss about marriage. Like I'm worthless as a single person."

"Screw what people say. It says absolutely nothing about you that you're still not married. You just have high standards."

She smiled gratefully. "That's nice of you."

Satoru brushed his fist against her cheek. "Come on, rest." He said and wanted to go out.

"Where are you going? It's about to get dark." Utahime said sternly.

"Short walk." Satoru whispered to her a little concerned.
„Tell me, are you really starting to think we're married?"

"WHAT?! How did you get that?"

"Good, good. I thought that was why you questioned me so harshly."

"Are you crazy? How did you come up with that?"

"I'm just kidding."

She laughed a little. After Utahime went to her room, Satoru sneaked out of the house and performed further analysis on the cursed seed to inform Shoko.

Finally they arrived in Kyoto. And to make this tiring journey worthwhile, Utahime's grandparents wanted to stay with their son and daughter-in-law for a few weeks.
They took a taxi at the train station and Satoru placed the luggage in front of the driver.

"If only the boy had come with us too, darling." Utahime's grandmother suggested.

"No, no need, Grandma. Satoru will be fine."

The taxi driver wouldn't be allowed to drive him to the academy anyway.

Satoru smiled sadly.
"It was an honor that I had the opportunity to meet you. Thank you for everything."

"Oh, son, you're welcome." Utahime's grandmother stroked Satoru's cheek.
"Come here. Let me hug you."

He blinked in surprise and smiled overjoyed. Hesitating, he let the old woman hug him.
His heart felt so warm again.

"Ok Satoru, I'll see you later." Utahime interrupted their farewell and Satoru let go of her grandmother again.

He smiled sheepishly and looked at Utahime in love.
"Yes, I'll wait for you then."

"Hm hm. How cute you are," the grandmother giggled.

Neither Utahime nor Satoru said anything, only a sad smile crossed the young man's lips.
He raised his hand in farewell and watched them as they drove away. Probably, he would never see his dream grandparents-in-law again.

Notes:

This was the last chapter taking place in Utahime's village. I really enjoyed to write these parts, cause it reminded me somehow to the small city where my mom's family come from. And Utahime's grandparants might be a bit inspired by my own grandparants, only the genders are reversed. I really had to laugh about the similarities at some points xD

Chapter 8: Playing false

Summary:

Their mission continues in a town near Kyoto where Suguru and his curse spirits are expected. There Satoru and Utahime stay at a luxury hotel to investigate the town and find a way to get to Geto somehow.
But the hotel manager turns out to be a little different than expected which Satoru might not like.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

At the Kyoto academy...

Satoru and Utahime had an audience with principal Gaguganji regarding the attack on Utahime's village. According to Master Yaga, their scientists had indeed found more seeds with curse energy in there, as well as in the surrounding villages and small towns. The presumption that Suguru was behind all this was quite likely. Following the traces, there was only one town where he and the curse spirits had to be staying.

"After Kyoto, the highest amount of curse energy is currently measured there."
The principal announced.

"Hmm... It's hard to believe that the number of curses has risen in such a short time. Probably, it's more of an curse technique that they have to maintain. A kind of trap."

"That thought crossed my mind, too." Utahime said.

"Sure it did." Satoru said in an ironic tone.

"Satoru!" Principal Gaguganji scolded.

Surprisingly, Utahime didn't get upset at all.
"It's all right, Master Gaguganji. Let's continue." She just said.

"Anyway, you'll be staying in this town for a few days. Principal Yaga will tell you more about it later. And you'll be on your way tomorrow."

The two sorcerers left the room. Utahime accompanied Satoru to his room, but she was suspiciously quiet.

He couldn't stand it any longer. "What is it?"

"Didn't you hear what Principal Gaguganji said? They found those seeds everywhere."

"Your grandparents are safe now, Uta. Don't worry."

"You knew about this already, didn't you? As principal Gaguganji told they found more of those seeds, you didn't seem surprised at all."

"I..." He sighed. "Yes, I found a seed in your grandfather's garden."

She widened her eyes, startled.

"I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't tell you anything."

"They were in my grandfather's garden! They were that close to them?"
Utahime was almost hyperventilating and could barely breathe. Satoru immediately held her arms.

"Uta... calm down. Breathe through your nose." She almost panicked even more.
"Through your nose! Utahime..." She followed his example. "Right... That's good. Better?"

She suddenly burst into tears.

"Hey... it's all right."
Satoru hadn't expected her to press her head against his chest and snuggled up to him, crying.
A feeling of excitement spread from his heart to his entire body. He couldn't hold back a moment to put his arms arround her protectively and rub her back comfortingly.
"Shhh..." His heart was pounding so wildly. He never thought he would be this close to her.
And even though he was comforting her, he was the one who felt protected, more than ever.
"Everything will be fine, Uta."

"They could have d-"

"Shhh... No. Don't say that."

Utahime snuffled once. "Them and my parents... They're the only ones I have left."

"You have me. And Shoko," he added quickly.

She laughed tearfully. "Yeah?"

"Sure. Don't friends count, too?"
He really wanted that. He wanted her friendship, too.

"Of course they do." She let go of him slowly and wiped away her tears.
"I'm sorry. I...didn't mean to...rush you like that or... be pushy."

"Nah... I didn't even feel that way. Not in the slightest." He could have hold her forever.

"I'm really glad you came along, Satoru."

He smiled broadly. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes. I think you did my grandmother some good. She had been so worried."

"I'm very glad to hear that. You know, I'm glad, too. Thanks to your grandparents, I've felt what it's like to have a family."

Utahime's heart tightened at his words. For the first time, she had seen in the strongest sorcerer Satoru Gojo, just a little boy, a helpless orphan. This was something totally different than just having a nightmare. Right now, she had the feeling she had never actually known him before. For the first time, she deeply felt sorry for him. And the fact, Satoru could still smile and was so lighthearted even intensified her pity.
Suddenly, she got tears in her eyes and her worries seemed unimportant next to his.

„I mean..." Satoru put up a smile.
„You know, cause... I have lost my family years ago. That's why I said that."

There he did it again. He hated beeing pitied, that's why he put on a smile, she thought.
Still she wanted to say something more.
„It must have been terrible for you, and you only have been a child."

„Yeah but... well, it is how it is. At least, I had my friends."

A strange silence filled the floor.

"So. Since you're feeling better, I'm going to my room. Oh, and you'd best take some really fancy clothes with you."

"Oh yeah, why?" Utahime asked.

Satoru winked. "I just googled the hotel we're staying at. It's really luxury ."

Of course, the two rectors would pay for the accommodation costs.
It was hard to believe that Mr. Gaguganji insisted on accommodating the sorcerers in an expensive hotel. It was well known that he couldn't stand this whole modern culture. But for security reasons, he had said, the hotel manager had to be familiar with sorcerers already. This meant that the circumstances could be adapted to the sorcerers' needs to ensure that the mission could be carried out as smoothly as possible. However, Utahime was a little uncomfortable with this overly posh ambience.
The lobby was literally glittering everywhere. The light from the crystal pendant lamp glittered magnificently above their heads and reflected off the marble floor and glass walls. Futuristic sculptures adorned the large room and added an artistic touch.

Utahime unobtrusively poked Satoru's arm and he leaned down to her with pleasure.
"Satoru," she whispered, "There are only really rich people here. Look how they're dressed."

"Yes. I've noticed, too. But don't worry, I'll cover for you."

"Excuse me?! I-"

"Shht."

That was what he always did. He made use of situations in which Utahime was forced to keep her decency, so she couldn't shout at him, even though she wanted to. Like right now. So she decided to take a deep breath and tried to ignore him.

After the check-in, a lady in an elegant suit in a color that matched the furnishings, offered them a tour through the hotel. She introduced them to all the important rooms.
From the fitness studio and wellness area to the ballroom and the large library.
There was even a studio for the guests' artistic development and a small shopping center.

Finally, the two guests were shown to their rooms. Ladies first - Utahime got to see her room first. It was like a small apartment. From the entrance, one door led to the bathroom, the other to the living room, the extension of which was the bedroom with a view of the city.

"... and of course our room service is available around the clock. We hope you will be very satisfied with your stay. Oh and... You are cordially invited to our ball next week."

"Oh... we..." Satoru and Utahime looked at each other in embarrassment.

The woman smiled sheepishly. "If you have any questions, you can always ask Mr. Kimura or me. We will be there for you personally. And I should remind you of your appointment with Mr. Kimura today. He will meet you in the lobby at 6 pm."
She bowed and left them alone.

"Would you like to go to this ball?" Satoru asked.

"You really want to go there?"

"Why not? Then we have an excuse to dress up a little. Don't you have a suitable dress?"

"I do."

"So there's nothing against us going there."

"Let's see. If we're not too busy..."

Satoru smiled cheerfully.

After resting and changing, Utahime and Satoru waited in the lobby.

"So Mr. Kimura is a friend of principal Gaguganji?"

"Yes, he said so. We can trust him. Oh and... I have something to ask of you."

Satoru grinned. "Anything you want."

"When we talk to Mr. Kimura, please watch how you speak. You know how older people are.
He... should have a good picture of our academy."

Satoru furrowed his brow in surprise, almost offended.
"What's that supposed to mean? Am I casting sorcerers in such a bad light?"

"Well..."

"Old people shouldn't be so uptight then."

At that moment, a very charismatic man in his late thirties approached them and bowed deeply. "Mrs. Iori, Mr. Gojo... welcome."

Utahime bowed as well. Of course, Satoru did not. She rolled her eyes.
"We... had been waiting for Mr. Kimura." She said politely.

"Oh! Please excuse me forgetting to introduce myself. I'm Ando Kimura."

"Oh! You-" Utahime put her hand on her chest in shame, "I thought you were-"

"Old?"

Utahime giggled sheepishly. "Please forgive me." Her cheeks turned a little red, too.

She was blushing? And she was giggling at his joke? Women only did that when they... No!
Surely she was just trying to be polite.

"Mrs. Iori, you don't need to apologize. I wouldn't hold anything against you."

"Oh?"

"I can tell from your aura that you have a flawless character."

And then came the first compliment!

"Oh..." She smiled kindly. "Thank you very much, that's nice to hear."

How old was this guy anyway? Thirty-six? Thirty-five?
In any case, much older than Satoru was and not much older than Utahime. This realization made his foolish heart quiver in panic.
"That depends on what you mean by flawless character." Satoru sounded almost offended. "Utahime is not an ordinary woman who would submit to anyone."

Even though Satoru's compliment flattered her as well, was it really necessary to elaborate on
Mr. Kimura's comment about her?
It could be her imagination, but the inexplicable tension between the two men made the whole situation even more awkward than it already was.

"Don't worry, Mr. Gojo. That's exactly what I would find admirable in a woman."

Somehow, Satoru had the feeling that he had scored an own goal. This guy really knew exactly what to say. And if his intuition was right, he had to be careful with him.

"Please follow me to my office. We can discuss everything there in quiet."

It didn't take sixth eyes to realize that Mr. Kimura was trying to make a good impression on Utahime. Nevertheless, the young sorcerer did not let his anger show and listened attentively to Mr. Kimura as he explained everything relevant. The emergency exits, the safety precautions in the hotel. Unfortunately, no protective curtain could be created around the hotel. That would be too conspicuous. It was also important to know that only Mr. Kimura was informed about the Jujutsu society. Under no circumstances they were allowed to cause disturbance in the hotel. Of course, this also included teleportation outside their private area. He pointed this out to the two sorcerers in no uncertain terms.

"Did you hear that, Utahime? So when we talk about curses and stuff, don't screech around like a peasant, ok?"

"Satoru!" Utahime scolded, followed by Satorus chuckling.

In order not to make Utahime even more uncomfortable, Mr. Kimura didn't warn Satoru, but smiled at Utahime in a friendly manner instead. "You're really no ordinary woman."

Satoru's laughter caught in his throat. He had scored another own goal.
Now Mr. Kimura stood there as her hero who had saved her from Satoru with his compliment.
And of course she smiled gratefully. Well, maybe Satoru really shouldn't have make fun of her in front of Mr. Kimura. But she could have simply tease him back, as she did before. Or did she want to appear as ladylike as possible in front of Mr. Kimura? Why should she?
Satoru thought of a reason, but he suppressed it.

"I'm sure you've already been informed, but I wanted to invite you personally to our ball next week."

"How nice of you." Utahime said. "If we can find the time..."

"I insist on it. How unfortunate it would be if I couldn't spoil my guests of honor on such a special evening."

From the look on Mr. Kimura's face, Satoru had noticed that the man only meant Utahime.
And what was that fake smile the guy was putting on? Like he thought he was better than anyone.

"I'll reserve the best seats for you."

Utahime smiled flattered.
"Alright then. If it means that much to you, of course we'd love to come."

"Wonderful. Then I wish you a pleasant stay, Mrs. Iori... Mr. Gojo."

They said goodbye and left Mr. Kimura's office.
Satoru barely looked at Utahime. "Well, it meant a lot to me, too..."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Not that important. So you really want to go to this ball?"

"He invited us so nicely. It would be rude if we didn't go."

"Well, for better or worse, I'll have to show up with a peasant girl."

"Peasant girl?! Then why don't you go without me if I'm so embarrassing?"

"You'd make a total fool of yourself without me. I'll go with you."

"At least I have manners, unlike you. I certainly don't need you." She said.

That reminded him of a mission when they had been students.
Satoru had rushed to her to help. He couldn't think about anything else, so he completely forgot to draw the curtain, even though his teacher had explicitly told him to do so. But Utahime had shouted at him that she didn't need him. Like she had just done.
Understandable. He had always annoyed her. But the heart didn't care. All it remembered were her ice-cold words, which pierced it like knives.
A sad smile stretched around Satoru's lips as he remembered those years.
Wasted time, he thought.

Notes:

Since they are both sorcerers, I wanted to include some fights in the upcoming chapters, too. In order not to distract too much from the main storyline I just slighty set focus on the action scenes. I tried my best to write them well thought out :) some points will be explained later.

Chapter 9: Flashback: Wasted time

Chapter Text

Suguru and Satoru sat across from Shoko on one of the benches at the academy.
"Call her again." Satoru insisted.

Shoko tried to reach Utahime again, but she didn't pick up.
"Okay. I'm really starting to get worried."

Suguru furrowed his brow. "It's been two days since I spoke to Mei. You haven't heard from them since then either, Shoko?"

"No." She searched impatiently in her pocket for her lighter.
But Suguru grabbed the cigarette out of her hand before she could light it. "Hey!"

"You can't always smoke away your feelings, Shoko." Suguru said sternly.

She sighed in annoyance. "Like I'm the only one who has a problem with feelings."

Satoru stood up. "I'm bored. I'm going to go find her now."

"You have to get permission from Sensei Yaga first, Satoru." Suguru reminded him.

"Oh yeah, how annoying."

The three young sorcerers explained the situation to their teacher. Mr. Yaga told to his students where he thought Mei and Utahime to be.

Then suddenly Satoru stood up impatiently.
"All right, can we go now?"
He was about to leave the room, as Mr. Yaga called after him, telling not to forget the curtain.
"I won't!" The boy shouted from the corridor.

Suguru, whose concentration was gradually waning, also hurried out of the room with a grin.

"Wait for me, you idiots!" Shoko shouted. "I'm sorry, sensei Yaga. I have to go."

"Yeah go." He sighed, a little overwhelmed. „This hectic and impatient of youth..."

Utahime had to be close by! He could clearly feel her energy.
And down there, on the rubble, he saw her.
"I'm here to save you, Utahime!" Satoru shouted, grinning proudly as she looked up at him.
"Are you crying?" He asked, pityingly and cheekily.

"I'm not crying! How disrespectful you are!" Utahime roared.

While Satoru's attention was still focused on Utahime, Mei jumped up to him.
"If I was crying, would you console me?" She smiled enticingly. "I'd certainly like that."

Apparently, Satoru had not understood that Mei had just been flirting with him,
because he answered her question like it was meant seriously.
"Nah, you wouldn't cry, Mei-san. You're strong." To which Mei giggled anyway.

How dared he embarrass her in front of her colleague?
"Listen, Satoru!" Utahime roared. "I don't need your help or any-"

At that moment, a giant curse in a worm shape appeared behind Utahime.
Almost simultaneously, Suguru teleported himself onto the rubble.

"Well done, Suguru," the white-haired boy shouted.
"Otherwise Utahime would have fainted from fear."

"Satoru!" The black-haired scolded. "Don't pick on the weak."

This time Utahime growled at Suguru like a dog gone wild.

Satoru teleported to Suguru and Utahime. "It would be boring to pick on the strong."

"Utahime!" Shoko appeared at that moment. „Are you okay? We've been trying to reach you for two whole days."

"So we were trapped in the barrier for two days?" Mei also joined her colleagues.

Utahime immediately fell into Shoko's arms.
"Shoko! Don't you ever become like those idiots, please."

She laughed. "I definitely won't turn into trash like them. Don't worry."

Suguru and Satoru bent their lips sadly.

"Uh, guys..." Everyone turned to look at Mei. "Where's the curtain?"

Satoru widened his eyes in shock.

"Were you too distracted with Utahime, Satoru?" Shoko giggled.

The boy in charge pursed his lips innocently and turned away his gaze in shame.

"So, can we go?" Mei asked annoyed.

Satoru held Utahime by the wrist. Instinctively, she wanted to break away from him.
"I'm taking you with me, Uta-chan. You're still too young to teleport."

When she and Satoru arrived at the academy, Utahime immediately get rid of him.
"I can teleport by myself!"

"Oh yeah, why don't you show me? Go on." Satoru grinned cheekily.

"I don't have to prove anything to you!" Utahime said and ran off angrily.
She didn't realize that Satoru was still looking after her.

Then the others arrived. Due to their limited curse power, they took a few seconds longer than Satoru. "Where's Utahime?" Shoko asked.

"How can I know? Am I her husband or something?", he said and went into the building.

Shoko stared after him worriedly. "Isn't Satoru strange...er today?"

Suguru shrugged his shoulders. "Haven't noticed."

Shoko was much more interested in organizing the small celebration than the birthday boy himself. Kento hadn't even asked for it - Satoru insisted on a celebration, probably because of the homemade cake, which he wasn't allowed to touch until Kento had unwrapped his presents, thanks to Shoko. That was why the white-haired boy became so impatient when they had all gathered in the classroom.

"Come on, don't unpack so lamely, Kento." Satoru said, annoyed.
"It's not a sealed curse or anything."

"Does that make any sense?" Suguru asked with a grunt. "Why would you remove a seal?"

Satoru shrugged.

"Let him do as he pleases, Satoru." Utahime scolded.

"I'm sure it's nothing special anyway." The white-haired said with a grin.

Utahime growled at him. "Like I'm tasteless as you are!"
How could he even know what her present was! He must be watching her very closely ;)

After the cake was eaten - Satoru got the biggest slice - it was time for photos.
Mei took some nice pictures of the whole group and sent them to everyone via MMS.

Shoko sat down on one of the tables and held out her screen to Suguru.
"Look how pretty you look in the picture. Smile like that more often."

Suguru really couldn't suppress a smile.
"I..."

Shoko looked up from her screen into two coal-black eyes.
Had he just stepped closer to her while she was looking at the photo?
Her voice trembled excitedly. "Yes?"

"I wanted to... uhm... ask if you don't want to explain your reversal technique to me again.
I didn't quite get it the other day."

Shoko giggled. "I can try again."

At that moment, they heard Utahime shouting at Satoru, who had secretly taken a photo of her while she opened her mouth wide to eat the last piece of her cake.
"I think I'll use the photo as my background. You look really funny, haha."

"Satoru!" She yelled warningly.

No, she wasn't angry enough yet.
"Or even better. I'll put the pictures on the internet." He said as he typed diligently.

"Give me your cell phone now!" Utahime screeched.

Of course, he just ran off laughing and made Utahime run after him.
I had to attract your attention somehow...

Suguru and Satoru were assigned more and more challenging missions.
Watching bloody deaths was one of the more harmless things.
Shoko, on the other hand, became more interested in the biological part of jujutsu, so she trained intensively with Mrs. Ito and rarely took part in missions outside the academy.

Since their mission, in which Suguru had almost lost Satoru, he had begun to change.
He responded less and less to Satoru's silliness... slept in more often - and Satoru thought he was the late-comer - and the strangest thing was that he had started playing hooky.

Almost a year past by. The three of them were at the schools yard when Suguru and Shoko helped Satoru practise his new techniques, as Satoru noticed something.
"Suguru? Have you lost weight?"

"It's the heat. I'm losing my appetite. Why are you practicing at all?"

"Huh? Why do you think? To get stronger. Maybe you should try out some new techniques, too, you lazy bastard."

Suguru simply remained silent. Then Shoko interrupted the awkward silence.
"Soo... It's my birthday next week. Have you two thought of something nice for me?"

They both said in unison. "Nope." and grinned cheekily.

Shoko laughed. "Okay. Maybe you can take off on my birthday and we go out for dinner."

"Hey, I'll ask sensei Yaga," Satoru said and hurried off.

Suguru looked down at his feet. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"You know what I want." Instead of looking at him, Shoko played with her nails.

The black-haired boy laughed. "No, I have no idea."

At that moment, a dragonfly flew past her. "Do you know what a dragonfly stands for, Suguru?
For success, victory and happiness."
Although Suguru remained silent, she wanted to add something more and hoped her voice wouldn't be shaking.
"Have you ever... considered someone to be your great happiness? Someone who has a special place in your heart?"

Suguru hesitated to answer her question and closed his narrow eyes.
Instead, he said something else. "We'd better plan your birthday."

Embarrassed, she laughed a little.
"Right. It's silly to ascribe any meaning to animals."

Suguru didn't look at her. "Yes. It probably would be silly."

While Satoru was walking to Mr. Yaga's office and was about to come up with legitimate reasons
to ask for a day-off, the door unexpectedly opened and his heart stopped, when he saw who was leaving Mr. Yaga's office. It was Utahime, holding a sheet of paper in her hand. What had she discussed with him?
Although Utahime also noticed Satoru, she simply walked past him. Of course, he had to stop her somehow. "What's that in your hand, Uta?" he asked with a grin.
"Your resignation because you're useless as a sorcerer?"

She actually stopped and turned to face him. But he had expected an angry roar rather than a victorious grin. "My ass, you rank 2. I've been promoted to rank 1."

Satoru raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes! Now I can finally get rid of you." Utahime grinned overjoyed.

"Thh. Just because you're rank 1 doesn't mean you'll get rid of me."

"Of course I will." Utahime grinned even wider.
"Because I'll be assigned to Kyoto from now on."

Satoru's smile disappeared immediately. "You're going to Kyoto?"

"Aaaw... poor Satoru-chan. You must burst with boredom now?"
With her victorious laugh, she left Satoru alone in the corridor.

He just stood there quietly, staring blankly at the floor.
He felt his throat tighten. But suddenly he grinned.
"Oh... then I'll tease Kento instead. I'm sure that'll be fun too."

Satoru experienced the second shock a week later on Shoko's birthday.
The two friends were waiting at McDonald's for the third member of their group.
Satoru sighed impatiently as he waited for his call to finally be answered.

"Your phone is going to be glued to your ear, Satoru, let it be. He messed up."
Shoko watched him. "If you're not touching your McFlurry, it means something."

Satoru blew his strand of hair away from his forehead.
"But, he would never ditch you on your birthday. Did something happen to him, maybe?"

Shoko sighed. "But the way he's been acting lately... suits him."

"I'm really sorry, Shoko."

"That's okay. I've lost my appetite anyway. Aren't you taking your ice-cream with you?"

Satoru shook his head. "I don't feel like it."

"How many times do you want to hear it, Satoru?" Mr. Yaga said.
"Suguru killed everyone in the village."

"I get the point. That was a rhetorical what."

Suguru is said to have killed innocent people? And he was sentenced to death?
A single tear flowed down Shoko's cheek. She left Satoru alone with sensei Yaga.
They couldn't talk at the moment anyway.
Outside, in the garden, she was greeted by a hazy but fresh air, which she breathed into her lungs.
Leaning against one of the statues that she usually never paid attention to, she took a cigarette out of the crumpled packaging and lit it. But instead of putting it to her lips, filling her lungs with smoke, she watched the cigarette between her fingers as it gradually burned down.
The ash became too heavy and fell on the ground.

"Idiot." She said and threw the rest of the cigarette on the floor.

Back then... it was so easy to look past my problems. No, that wasn't quite true.
I didn't even see that I had problems...fears... fear of love.
Maybe Utahime wouldn't have left, if I had seen.
I didn't see how Suguru's soul was corrupting. Maybe Suguru wouldn't have left, if I had seen.
And I thought... everyone thought, with the sixth eye comes the knowledge of the world, the light of the cosmos.
Apparently not.

Chapter 10: Jealousy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The next morning, the two sorcerers met at the breakfast buffet.
A large selection of delicacies was presented on elegant porcelain plates. Everything was lavishly decorated with carved fruit. Some of the dishes were not even from Japanese cuisine. And Satoru seemed to take indiscriminately from everything on his plate, unlike Utahime, who chose carefully.
She cast a surprised glance at his selection.
"You're eating sweet again?"

"So what? Fruit is healthy."

Utahime raised her eyebrows. "On waffles with chocolate sauce?"

"Maybe you should eat sweets more often, too. Then you wouldn't be angry all the time."

"Sure. It's not that you're always getting on my nerves or anything." There was both annoyance and amusement in her sarcasm, which was why her voice sounded softer than usual.
She had actually expected Satoru to provoke her further, but he just chuckled.
He didn't even annoy her so often anymore. Surely not because of his promise. The more you got annoyed with Satoru, the more he would get on your nerves. Like a child breaking more rules the more limits it was given.
Utahime had to laugh at the thought. It was kind of cute.

"I feel sick," Satoru said.

"Of sugar?"

Apparently his tolerance to sugar had also dropped by now, as his body no longer needed the overdose. He moved further and further away from the special rank Satoru Gojo.
"I'll get something else." Defiantly, he walked back to the buffet.

Utahime didn't understand why Satoru seemed disappointed. That was a good thing.
She checked her messages for news from the academy. Nothing.
At that moment, Satoru's phone, which he had left on the table, flashed. Utahime didn't normally do that, but it could be an important message, so she leaned forward a little to take a look at the dark screen. Her heart skipped a beat. Mei had sent Satoru a photo! What kind of photo?

"Are you stalking me, Utahime?"

She almost fell out of her chair in shock and immediately sat back down in her seat.
"Satoru! Of course not!", she defended herself nervously. At his grin, she continued.
"Uuhh... Your phone vibrated and I thought it might be an important message."

Grinning he sat back down and examined his message while Utahime watched him, annoyed.
Regardless of this, he even held his phone in front of her.
"Look... Mei found an old picture of us."
It was Shoko, Satoru and Mei on their first mission together.
He zoomed in on his own face. "Aaw, how pretty I look."

*At least, he's so distracted with his own beauty that he doesn't even notice Mei.
Uh what? I don't care what he thinks about Mei.*

"Don't you think Mei looks like that actress?"

"What actress?"

"Ah... what's the name of that show again? Uhh... Sins of Love or something. The main character."

"Kurara Chibana? Are you kidding me? Mei is never that pretty!"
Utahime was shaking with rage.

"I didn't say that." He grinned. "No need to be jealous of Mei just because she looks like Chibana."

Was that her reason to be so angry? But Utahime had never felt envious of other women.
She even thought she was very pretty.

There was no sign of Suguru or his curses so far. So Satoru persuaded Utahime to exorcise as many curses as possible in the city.
That way, at least their search radius could be limited.
They left the hotel and covered a distance until they were far enough from the hotel.

"Let's do this separately to make faster progress. Most of the curses should be rank3 at most."
Satoru leaned a little too close to her and grinned provocatively.
"You can do that without me, can't you?"

"We could try out my curse techniques on you. Then you'll have a better idea of whether I can manage that without you or not."

There were her angry gaze again, driving him crazy.
"No, no need for that. I believe you."

Utahime sighed, almost amused.

Big cities like Kyoto or Tokyo were teeming with curses, but here it wasn't so easy to find curses at all, which was strange. After Kyoto, this city currently had the highest rate of curse power. All this pointed more and more to a trap. And the more curses they eliminated, the easier it would be to find the source of the curse power. Although most of them were actually at rank 3 at most,
Utahime had had enough for one day after ten curses. After all, searching for these creatures consumed more energy than the exorcizing itself.
Just as she finished, her phone rang. It was Satoru.

"So, how many have you done?" he asked.

"I think almost ten?" That was above average.
She wondered, if Satoru had done more. "And you?"

"Only four." He heard her mocking giggle. Still, he had to grin.
"I tried to leave residues on purpose. It's just not easy, being a bad sorcerer when you're special rank."

"Suguru will realize you left them on purpose."

"Trap or not, he'll follow my trail. At least it's worth a try," Satoru said as he smiled at the woman at the front desk, who greeted him adoringly.

"Are you going back to the hotel?" Utahime asked.

"Why? Do you want me to come over to you because you're scared?"

"I just wanted to know if you are done."

Satoru chuckled. "Yes, I'm already at the hotel." But his smile faded as Mr. Kimura walked into him in the lobby. And this time his fake grin looked even faker.

"I'll just do this last one and then I'll come, too." Utahime said on the phone.

"Thn see you later."
After this exhausting day, Satoru desperately needed that massage-plus-wellness. But after this encounter, he needed more than just a little relaxation.

"Mr. Gojo." He approached him. Somehow the hotel manager looked tensed.
"Is Ms. Iori on her way here?"

"Yes. I just spoke to her," Satoru admitted proudly.

"Excellent. Then I left just in time to pick her up."

Satoru smiled mockingly. "Utahime can take care of herself."

"And why do you keep making her feel like she can't?"

Seriously? Was this guy trying to protect Utahime from him? Who did he think he was?
"Utahime and me, we are very close. I know she doesn't take me that seriously."

"No wonder." Mr. Kimura smiled mockingly. "You're much younger than Ms. Iori, aren't you?"

What did his age have to do with it? Satoru's blood boiled with anger.

And like the man could read Satoru's uncertainty from his eyes, he said something else.
"I can tell by your expression."

And immediately Satoru's anger turned into panic. Did he look too young next to Utahime?

"I don't want to accuse you of insincerity, Mr. Gojo, but as for your close relationship with Ms. Iori, well... I was taught quite differently."

The sorcerer angrily pressed his lips together.

"One of my tasks is to ensure a harmonious working atmosphere between you and Ms. Iori. Therefore I would kindly ask of you not to bother her any further."

"As an outsider, you may find it hard to judge, but I know my limits, especially when dealing with women."

"Then you should treat Ms. Iori accordingly. Even a young man like you, should be able to restrain himself from such juvenile behavior. Do you agree with me?"

Young man? How could he dare? Kimura wasn't that much older than him!
Nevertheless, Satoru grinned provocatively without showing that he was provoked.
"Of course. I assure you that I will be exactly what Utahime wants me to be like."

"Perfect. Then Ms. Iori's request to speak to you about this has proven to be successfull after all."
With a sly grin, Mr. Kimura left Satoru alone in his doubts.

His heart trembled in humiliation. A man who was probably interested in the woman he loved could rule out Satoru as a potential rival because of his young age.
After all, Kimura was almost ten years older than Satoru and still not too old for Utahime. And she talked to Mr. Kimura instead of talking to Satoru about her problem? Like she was closer to him!

How could one man shake his entire self-confidence like that?
Like he had never been the beloved Satoru Gojo. No matter where, he was always the most beautiful and most attractive man. Even for some older women. But when he was about to lose the woman of his life to this one man, the world's attention suddenly meant nothing.

"He wanted to pick her up. And she complained to him instead of talking to me about it."

"Why would she do that? She hardly knows him," Shoko tried to reassure him.

"I don't know. Is there something going on between them?"
Even saying it made Satoru's heart race with panic.

"I can't imagine."

Satoru put his phone on his other ear and sighed in despair.
"I also have the feeling... that she doesn't take me seriously as a man. She emphasizes our age gap so often. Do you think I look too young next to her?"

"No, not at all. What's going on with you? You have always been so self-confident."

"That Kimura... was implying that - don't know, like I'm out of Utahime's league or something."

"What does he know about Utahime? From what you've been telling, she seems to like you.
Why else is she laughing at your teasing now?"

Satoru regained a little of his dignity after all.
"You're right. I think she's really into me. Thank you Shoko."

"That's the Satoru I know." Shoko giggled with delight.

When there was a knock at the door, Satoru quickly said goodbye to Shoko and hurried over.
His heart skipped a beat when he saw Utahime at his door. But her worried look took away his excitement. "Hey. Are you all right?"

"Hey. Sorry if I'm disturbing you, but..."

"What? You're not disturbing me at all. What's wrong?"

She pulled up the long sleeve of her kimono a little. "Look."
Her wrist was swollen blue.

"Shit. What happened?"

"On the way back, I discovered another curse and it hit my hand just before I exorcised it." Utahime hissed in pain. "Can you maybe help me with your reversal technique?"

"I never done that before but... I can try. Come on in." Satoru stepped aside.
They sat down on the couch. Her heart skipped a beat when Satoru took her hand.
He held it with such care that Utahime got the impression he hardly dared to touch her.
And how intently his eyes examined her hand.

"Fortunately, your hand isn't cursed. It's just broken."

Utahime felt her hand getting warmer and warmer. Was it because of his reversal technique or were his hands sweating? Or both? Either way, the pain eased.
"Wow, my hand is healed. Thank you, Satoru."

He let go of her hand again. "You're welcome."
And just as a strange silence fell, Satoru's phone rang. It was Mei.

Utahime rolled her eyes in annoyance while Satoru talked to her.
She didn't say anything at first, but as soon as Satoru hung up, she blurted it out.
"What does she want from you again?"

"Nothing. Just for fun."

"Do you have such a close bond that you chat just for fun, huh?"

Satoru's heart trembled with hope. Was she...?
"Utahime?" He made his voice sound flirtatious and grinned like he had caught her.
"Are you getting jealous?"

"What an impertinence!" She stood up and shouted angrily, but her cheeks turned as red as roses.
"What makes you think I fancy you?"

Her angry yet nervous gaze stoked the fire in Satoru's heart all the more.
How could anger make a woman even more beautiful?
"Wait. Don't move."

"What's wrong? Is there something in my hair?" she asked almost in panic and didn't move.

"Yes." Satoru stood up too, moved a little closer to her and allowed himself to run his fingers through her hair.

"If you fuck with me, you're screwed," she warned him, still standing rigidly, but her heart wouldn't stay still. Why was this happening everytime he was so close to her?
Suddenly, she felt the ribbon in her hair come undone.
"What are you doing?"

Laughing, Satoru held up her bow and ran away.

"Satoru! Give me my bow back, right now!" Annoyed, she ran after him.

"You'll have to get it yourself." Satoru hid the bow behind his back.

Everytime Utahime tried to grab it, he stood between her and the bow. This time she put her hand through the gap between his arm and hip.
"Are you looking for excuses to get closer to me?"

She immediately stepped back nervously. "How dare you!"

He finally held out her bow to her, and Utahime snatched it out of his hand.
Still Satoru laughed amusedly. "Why don't you let your hair down more often? It looks very good on you, too."

"Did I ask for your opinion?" Utahime tied her hair into a half-braid and didn't notice how dreamily Satoru watched her while her dark hair exposed her beautiful neck.
If only he could...

Utahime was about to leave his room when Satoru stood in her way.
"Uta... stay", he whispered almost pleadingly.

His insistent gaze made her nervous. He almost seemed like he didn't want to let her go.
Unfortunately, she couldn't even teleport this time.
"Satoru..." She whispered desperately.

He loved the way she pronounced the last syllable of his name so breathlessly.
It made her so sexy and drove him crazy. Unconsciously, he moved his lips a little closer to hers.

"You're being disrespectful again. I'm leaving", she said nervously.

That was when she scurried through the door and left him alone in his room. Alone in his desire.
Satoru was annoyed with himself. Why couldn't he just confess his feelings to her instead of always playing with her? Yet Utahime had almost blabbed earlier. So what was he so afraid of?

Sighing he lied down on his bed.
It was like torture. His skin was constantly calling for her. His heart wanted to break out of his chest pounding wildly, calling her name. The memory of her fiery, angry eyes didn't leave his senses alone. He imagined how, instead of letting her go, he pressed her against the wall, kissed her...
He imgagined her whispering his name seductively into his ear... he imagined carrying her to his bed and them having sex.

The thought intensified his desire all the more. He wondered if she wanted him, too.
Not even that would be enough. Had she fallen in love with him?

Notes:

I know, maybe this is getting too long. But I wanted also to focus on their psychology and wanted to give them time to know each other. There will come more surely ;) I promise^^

Thank you for reading 333

Chapter 11: A long evening part1: The prince and the village girl

Chapter Text

The closer the evening of the ball approached, the more nervous Satoru became.
What would Utahime look like? Sometimes at dinner or in an conversation, he caught himself imagining her in an elegant dress. But he had no idea what Utahime would wear. She wasn't interested in giving him a clue at all. Either she wasn't particularly excited or she wanted to give him a surprise. Of course, Satoru hoped for the latter.
At the very least, there was no way Satoru would miss this opportunity to impress Utahime.
So he picked out his most elegant shirt, put it on and stood in front of the mirror.

*I'm looking good. Should I gel my hair back? Maybe then I'll look older?*
He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to keep it back, but his hair was far too short at the front and fell back over his forehead. Instead, he unbuttoned his shirt to show a little more skin.
Yes, that looked sexy. He grinned proudly and picked up his dark jacket, matching the color of his pants.
At that moment, his phone rang.
"Utahime?"

"Are you finally coming?"

"Yes I..." He sprayed perfume on with his free hand. "I'm already on my way."

"And how can you put on perfume then?"

"No, that was something else. Why should I get dressed up for you?"

"So, hurry up."

He closed the door and hurried to their meeting place. When he saw Utahime in the hallway,
he stopped and took the opportunity she hadn't spotted him yet.
This allowed his eyes to look at her extensively.
She looked so different with her hair down and in her long, wine-red dress. So beautiful and graceful.
He wanted to give his heart a moment to calm down before he walked over to her.
But at that moment, another man approached her. Utahime seemed almost reluctant,
because she looked around for help. Was this man harassing Utahime?

Formation B!
"Utahime!" He stopped at a distance and threw his dark jacket elegantly over his shoulder.
He saw her turn to look at him. Had her eyes just fallen on his neckline?
Probably because he looked so tempting in his pale blue shirt.
"You've planned this, didn't you?" Satoru continued in his ridiculously seductive voice.
"Stop making me jealous, or I'll get mad as hell..."

Utahime went bright red even more as Satoru held out his hand to her and said:
"Come to me, my Utahime... Let's never be separated again."

The woman addressed held her forehead in shame and turned to the other man.
"The staircase is that way, sir."

"Thank you, Miss."

"Eh?"

She ran to her companion. "What the hell, Satoru?"

"I thought he was harassing you."

"You can scare someone away the normal way, you know?"

Then he realized. Just after he had told her that she looked good with her loose hair, she had given up her bow. Satoru grinned proudly.
"But don't I look seductive in this outfit? Be honest."

She held her hot cheeks to cool them down a little.
"Search me! Now let's get inside already."

Satoru chuckled sweetly and held his arm out to her, to which she gave him a stunned stare.
At her look, he replied.
"I'm not going to make such a beautiful lady look like she's coming unaccompanied."
Her embarrassed laugh told him she liked his gesture.

"All right." She said and took Satoru's arm. Why was she getting so nervous again?

Some of the guests stared at them as they entered the magnificent hall together.
Although Satoru was someone who enjoyed being in the spotlight, he didn't register the attention at that moment, because he couldn't take his eyes off the breathtaking beauty at his side.
Unlike him, Utahime had noticed that everyone was staring at them.
That was certainly the reason for her excitement. She wasn't used to such surroundings.
Satoru's calmness surprised her all the more. Was this the same man she knew?
He seemed so elegant and charming. For the first time, she realized that he came from an elite family. Even if he had grown up without parents, he had always been a Gojo.

One of the waiters bowed to them and showed them to their table.
When the waiter left her alone, she leaned slightly towards her colleague and muffled her voice.
"I have a feeling I'm being watched."

Satoru propped his chin on his fist pitifully.
"Aaw, is this the village girl's first time at a ball?"
Utahime's ignorance caused him to laugh sheepishly.
"Just kidding. Shall I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, please. Then I'll loosen up a bit."

"I'll be right back." Satoru ran to the bar to order a glass of champagne.

Utahime took the opportunity to check herself in the mirror. She looked great.
Then her heart leapt when her eyes fell on Satoru. He was holding out a drink to a young woman
in a skimpy dress! And he made her wait like a fool!
She immediately picked up the skirt of her dress and ran straight in their direction.
"Satoru?!" Her heart raced with anger.

Startled, he turned to Utahime and spilled half of the glass on the woman's dress, causing her to gasp in shock. Nevertheless, Satoru only paid attention to the angrier one.
"Utahime?" He blinked in surprise.

"How about an apology?" the champagne-smelling woman grumbled.

"How about fucking off?" Utahime glared at her with her killing stare.

The young woman roughly pushed the almost empty glass into Satoru's hand and walked away.
He didn't even look after her. Instead, he grinned nervously at Utahime.
"Why are you so pissed off?"

"I wonder why! You're making me wait like an idiot and you're flirting with some woman?"

"Flirting? I was just trying to help her because I spilled your drink on her dress. Is it my fault that women stick to me because I'm irresistible?"

"They wouldn't if you didn't give them the opportunities!"

"So what? I'm not taken. Or are you getting jealous again?"

"Nonsense," Utahime objected, suppressing her shame with her anger.

But she couldn't hide her feelings from Satoru. That's why he chuckled.
To help Utahime calm down, they got her another glass and sat back down at their table.
"So, are you okay or still jealous?"

"I'm not jealous, okay? I'm... uh... I just felt neglected."

*She very much is. I knew she is into me, too*
The thought made him smile.

They listened to the music in silence and applauded when the orchestra had finished playing.
And now the musicians opened the dance and played the well-known song Sway With Me.
The first couple took to the dance floor and others followed them.
So many beautiful women and yet Satoru only had eyes for one.

Utahime smiled sheepishly when she caught him.
"What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Still, he didn't take his eyes off her. Not this time.
"I... just wondered when you'd notice."

"Notice what?"

He grinned cheekily. "That you're being stared at."

Utahime giggled. "Satoru..."

She even sounded almost... disappointed. Did she wish he had stared at her out of admiration?
Why not? For sure, she felt the same way. He had caught her so many times staring at him...
she got angry when it came to other women. And she seemed to really like him now.
But knowing Utahime, she would never confess her feelings to him. So he had to take the first step.
How long should he hide his feelings from her?

The song Sway With Me ended.
Bored, Utahime watched the couples waiting on the dance floor for the next song. Then the sound of the violin began again, this time accompanied by singing.

You won't admit you love me, And so... how am I ever to know?
You always tell me...Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

The violin sounded so beautiful that it made Satoru want to dance with Utahime even more.
His heart was beating wildly. He could hardly breathe, but he didn't want to wait any longer.
So he got up and ran to her.

A million times I've asked you... And then... I asked you over... again...

Utahime looked up at him, confused.

He leaned down slightly and held out his hand while smiling charmingly.
"May I ask for this dance?"

"Satoru..." She looked around her ashamedly. "What are you doing?"

"Asking if you wanna dance with me?"

"But I... can't dance."

"Of course you can. I saw you." *And how beautiful she looked!*

"No, I... can't dance as a couple."

"I'm not that good at it either, but it's all about having fun."
Utahime's indecision humbled his heart.
"Come on... don't leave me standing here like this."

"All right."

She nervously gave him her hand and he pulled her to the dance floor with a satisfied smile.
Still Utahime was hesitant to put her hand on his shoulder, so Satoru did it for her.
He immediately got goose bumps at her touch.

"I can't do this," Utahime whispered.

"Forget the others." Carefully, he held her by her waist and pulled her closer to him.
"Just look at me."

She couldn't do exactly that. Because his captivating gaze and seductive voice only made Utahime's heart beat faster.

They began to dance. He led her gently around the dance floor, sometimes to the side and back,
away from him and back to him without taking his eyes off her.
Satoru was overwhelmed by the sight of her, by her closeness, by the music.
He almost forgot to continue dancing. They were so close. He wondered what her lips felt like.
The fact that he had to hold back almost drove him crazy.

"Liar," she whispered.

"What?"

"You said you weren't good at dancing."

Satoru chuckled charmingly, but he lost himself in her honey-brown eyes.
There it was again. He saw her desire clearly. Was this the right moment?
His heart finally wanted to free itself from its secret.
He breathed in shakily. "Utahime..."
That enchanted gaze of her... For sure, she felt the same way.
"Thank you for making this evening... unforgettable for me."

She smiled shyly. "Yeah?"

"Yes. I... uhhm..." He laughed nervously. "Normally, I always know what to say, but... I'm at a loss for words at the sight of you."
Satoru couldn't quite interpret Utahime's look and his hands were sweating like crazy.
Everything was spinning. Still... don't stop, he reminded himself.
"Actually, I am almost sure, but... still, I'd like to know if you... uhm..."

Utahime noticed his excitement not only from his shaky voice.
Unconsciously, he held her hand tighter and his eyes flitted, staring at hers.

*Shut up already, fucking heart beats!*
"I was just wondering if you... feel the same. That when I see you-"

"I'm totally dizzy. Shall we sit down again?" Utahime rattled out her words one after the other almost like an rifle.

Satoru swallowed once to suppress the stab in his heart.
"Sure." Reluctantly, he slowly let go of her and they stopped dancing.

Utahime immediately rushed to their table. Was his closeness unbearable, his words of love so disgusting?
It wasn't just this thought that hurt. Each of the unspoken words pierced his heart
like a knife. He hadn't even had the chance to tell her how much he loved her.

Satoru quietly followed her to their empty table.
He actually wanted to be alone, but if he left now, Utahime would know that he was hurt.
Satoru certainly didn't want to make her feel guilty or sorry for him. It was her right not to hear him out.
But that turned out to be more of a torture than Satoru had thought. Having to hold back the tears of his unrequited love intensified the pain in his chest all the more.
He thought back to moments when he had believed that she had felt the same way about him.
Had that just been a wishful thinking? A fantasy?
His heart stopped when he heard her soft voice.

"Hey... Are you ok?"

His throat knotted and yet he smiled at her.
"Of course. Everything's fine." He hated that his shaky voice revealed his true feelings.
Surely she had noticed how ready his eyes were to shed tears. Because she wanted to get some fresh air. Probably to stop torturing him into smiling.

Utahime took just a few steps away from him as the comfort of his loneliness loosen the shackles of his tears. How insufferably it was to feel your heart tearing apart. And this was the first thing he felt, as soon as he dared, to break off the wall around his heart after all this time?
He shackily took a breath to calm down. But all of a sudden, everything went dark and he heard the crowd gasp in shock. Then his heart stopped as he felt an unknown curse energy.
"Utahime!" He could barely see where he was running.

"Satoru!" She was just about to head in his direction, when someone held her by the arm and pulled her along.

"Ms. Iori! We must get you to safety immediately."

She recognized from his voice that it was Mr. Kimura. And although he heard Satoru calling for Utahime through the crowd, he continued to pull her along.
"Wait! My escort."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gojo will have to find another way."

She released her arm. "Take care of the other guests! I'll be fine!"

"Wait!"

Utahime briefly lost sight of Satoru. But there he was! His blue eyes sparkled even in this darkness. She picked up her skirt and hurried to him.
"Satoru!" Instinctively, she held him by his arms. She wanted to feel his presence.

"Utahime?" He examined her quickly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Did you feel the curse energy, too?" She let go of him again.
Even though his eyes were shining, she couldn't see his disappointed look.

"Yes. We need to get to the roof somehow. That's where it comes from."

Chapter 12: A long evening part2: The core of the soul

Chapter Text

Since they had never been on the roof before, they couldn't teleport there.
And in the event of a power outage, neither the elevator nor the stairs were an option.
So to speed up on top of the roof with jujutsu was the only way.

In order not to cause panic, guests were asked not to leave the hall.
So the two of the sorcerers sneaked out of the hall to quietly lower the veil.
They jumped from the parapet of the terrace into the garden.

Once there, Utahime made the finger sign and whispered.
"Emerge from darkness, darker than black and purify that which is impure."

Satoru wanted to continue straight away when he was stopped by Utahime.
"What is?"

"This long skirt is getting on my nerves."
Utahime tore a small piece of the fabric with her teeth and separated the rest with her hand.
"It's a shame about the dress." She said.

Satoru quickly averted his gaze from Utahime. It felt wrong to look at her.
"Don't worry about it." He grinned cheekily. "You're ugly in everything anyway."

She laughed. "You just can't stop, can you?"

"You're finally laughing at my jokes."

"Actually... it's not that annoying."

"So can I continue teasing you?"

"No."

Satoru pouted in disappointment. He frowned questioningly as Utahime pulled out her phone. "Who are you calling?"

"Mr. Kimura."

Satoru crossed his arms annoyed. "And why?"

"Why did he want to keep me safe? After all, I'm here to protect people from curses. He knows something." After letting it ring for a long time, she hung up.
She looked up. The veil was complete. "I also had the impression that he wanted..."

"Wanted to... what?" Satoru asked sternly.

"…separating us from each other."

"Of course, because he regards me as competition!"

"What?"

"Uh- I mean... he thinks he's better at-" Satoru suddenly held his chest tight.
He suppressed a scream.

"Satoru! What's wrong?" Utahime asked worriedly.

"I'm ok." He raised his hand. "That..." He could hardly breathe.
"It will be better soon." But he flinched again.

"You're so not ok. You go back inside. I'll see what's wrong up there."

He held her wrist. Utahime looked down at him in surprise.
"No, I'm... coming with you." He tried to get up. "I'm ok."
Supressing your feelings creates a wound in your soul...
*Is this what Shoko was talking about?*

Once they arrived on the roof, the curse power seemed to be strongest there, but they couldn't see anyone. Not a single curse, not a veil apart from hers.
"Strange," Utahime said. "Maybe they're right below us."

At that moment, the ground beneath their feet parted and a huge wooden loop burst through the crack between them.
But it wasn't the curse with the bloom, instead the curse with the scars on the face appeared.
He grinned happily, like he were happy about their meeting.
"So Suguru's veil could lead me to Satoru Gojo after all. Fantastic!"

Utahime felt anger in her chest. Did the curse not take her seriously as an opponent at all?

"To create something like this requires an enormous amount of curse energy." Satoru said.
"The Maker cannot stay far from his veil. Does this mean Suguru is somewhere in the city?"

Without answering his question, Mahito launched his first attack on the special rank.

Utahime blocked his attack on Satoru and attacked the curse from behind.
"Satoru! I'll take care of the other one!" Utahime shouted.

"Got it. Be careful!"

"You, too!" Utahime jumped back into the hotel through the hole in the roof.

"You love this woman?"

Satoru's heart stopped. How could he know?
Mahito took advantage of the brief moment and managed to lightly hit Satoru's chin.
That was close! And a disaster for Satoru Gojo! He hadn't warned Mr. Yaga for nothing that Utahime was distracting him.

The curse grinned gleefully. "Your soul is unstable. I can see that."

*He looks into my soul, just like that? Kento really didn't overestimate him.*

"You keep suppressing your feelings, don't you? This behavior has formed a cold shell around your soul core. However, it splits."
Due to his limited curse energy, Satoru had to avoid major attacks at the moment.
He didn't want to endanger the guests. Satoru hurled another attack at Mahito.
For the first time, his curse power was based on anger. He had never used this emotion as a basis.

"Hmm." The curse continued his analysis.
"Over time, this cold shell you have creeated by supressing your feelings, will burst completely and the core of your soul will erupt."

"I already know that." *So far he hasn't made much of an effort to kill me.*

"Did you also know, if this happens... you will lose your humanity?"

Satoru widened his eyes in shock.

"Because your fragile soul will not be able to control the core without the cold shell.
And what do you think the unlimited curse energy within you... will turn you to?"

Satoru's heart stopped, cause Mahito's gleeful grin let him guess already.

"A curse..."

Utahime rushed to the main hall. It seemed like in the meantime, dim battery lights were used and service continued. Guests were still advised to stay in the hall.
She briefly sank into thoughts. She remembered dancing with Satoru, heard the soulful sound of the violin. A wooden sound snapped her out of her memory. The curse with the bloom appeared and hurled some of its curse techniques at her.

Utahime thought about how Satoru had led her on the dance floor, imagined the feeling of his touch on her skin. The way he held her hand, her hip, her back...
She played the song again in her imagination, felt the tremble of the melody in her heart.
She turned around... and again... and she felt her curse energy flowing more and more through her whole body. Her curse power had never been as strong as it was now.

She formed a glowing ring of curse power which she hurled at the curse, meant to tear it apart.
None of the guests noticed how bravely Utahime protected them from the curse above their heads. But it didn't seem like he was targeting the guests. And suddenly the curse disappeared.
"Really strange."

Satoru was still fighting Mahito when Utahime rushed to him. Just as the two sorcerers attacked him from both sides, this curse also disappeared.

"Are you okay?" Utahime asked breathlessly as she loosened the veil.

"Uh... Yeah. You too?"

"Yes. Let's not stay here any longer. I'll call you right away," she said and teleported to her room. But it didn't work for Satoru. He tried again. He couldn't teleport this time either.
Annoyed, he sighed and called Utahime.
"So, tell me. Did you notice anything?"

"Wait. Before that… I want to go to my room."

"Then teleport."

"I... can't," he admitted reluctantly

"What do you mean by you can't?"

"I just can't teleport. It's not working." He heard her giggle. "Are you laughing at me?"

"That's funny. The great Satoru Gojo can't even teleport..."

Satoru suppressed a grin.
"If that had happened to me in battle, you wouldn't laugh now."

"Okay, sorry. So, you can't get past security. They're still keeping the guests in the room."

"Almost sounds like they're hold in prison."

"Good point. Wait a second."
Immediately afterwards, Utahime appeared at his place. She giggled again as she held his wrist.
"I'll take you with me, Satoru-chan. You're still too small to teleport."

Satoru grinned questioningly. "What?"

"That's what you always said to me when I couldn't teleport."

"You memorize every word I say? How sweet."

Utahime smiled. And the next second they were in her room.

Suguru giggled. "That's sweet. He's in love with Utahime? How surprising."

"I'm sorry, I just had to tell him what I saw in his soul."

"It's ok. He won't be able to give vent to his feelings anyway, He's just not like that. That could actually be very useful."

Mahito grinned devilishly.

Utahime wanted to drop Satoru off at his room, but during the teleportation, she realized that for some reason, it wasn't possible. So she took him to her room.
Maybe the curse spirits were responsible for this? Maybe Satoru could teleport after all, just not to his room. He tried one more but it didn't work again.

"Is it really okay with you if I chill at your place?" Nevertheless, he didn't wait for her permission and threw himself onto the sofa, which only had enough space for his long legs.

"Sure. I really don't wanna attract attention. Mr. Kimura souldn't get in trouble because of us."

"You're right." Knowing Utahime, she would never let a man into her private room.
So, she probably trusted him. Still she locked the door to change in the bathroom.
But that really gave Satoru ideas. He tried not to think about her.
And before he could fall into fantasies, Utahime stepped out of the bathroom.
She wore a cute top over her tight leggings that accentuated her beautiful legs.
She held her torn dress in her hand and threw it into the trash can, which Satoru thought was a shame.

"They know that I'm weakened."

"What?" She looked at him in shock as she sat down on her king-sized bed.

"Yes. That curse could just see into my soul."

"What exactly is.. wrong with you?" Utahime asked worriedly.

"Not that important. But it's really strange."

"Indeed. Did you also have the feeling that they were just..."

Satoru jumped up and stared at her in shock. "That they serve as a distraction?"

"Yes! The question is from what? And what is their intention by doing that? I'll call principal Gaguganji."

"Yes, do that." It seemed strange that Utahime had the need to step out onto the balcony to call Gaguganji. Why she didn't call him in front of Satoru?

Once he was alone, he closed his eyes in both pleasure and pain, remembering how Utahime had felt in his arms. The music that was clouding his mind sounded in his ears again. He saw her beauty, which moved his heart, and felt her closeness, which intoxicated his senses. Gradually his chest became too tight for these feelings and the longer they lived unsatisfied in his fantasies, the more they constricted him and increased his desire.
At that moment the door opened. He immediately turned to Utahime as she entered, forgetting his thoughts earlier. She had a strange gaze in her eyes.
"Why do you look like you've seen a ghost? On the other hand... we do that almost every day."

"Uhm... nothing. I'm just… a little upset about the fight."

"We're safe now." He said and took off his jacket, which he threw loosely over the back of the chair.

She looked at him with her lips slightly opened.

Satoru grinned proudly. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Uh- I... I didn't-" The knock on the door seemed to suit her, as she immediately rushed to the door and opened it. "Mr. Kimura?"

Satoru's heart stopped for a moment. This was his opportunity to make that snob jealous.

"Ms. Iori. I wanted to let you know that..." His gaze fell on the white-haired young man who was buttoning his shirt tighter, like he had just put it on.. "Mr. Gojo..."

No matter how immature it was, Satoru couldn't resist this idea of creating a scenario like he had just made out with Utahime and he was quickly getting dressed now.

Mr. Kimura didn't hide his disapproval observance at all.
"I... am surprised to see you here."

"We couldn't help it."

Utahime turned totally red and Mr. Kimura also looked shocked.
To clear up the misunderstanding Satoru had created, Utahime took over.
"Due to some inconvenience, Mr. Gojo had to come to my room."

*What? Why does she even justify herself to him? We don't care what he thinks.*

The man smiled charmingly at Utahime. "I thought so, Ms. Iori. Nobody would accuse an honorable lady as you are of doing anything indecent."

She smiled politely at him. "Thank you."

"We have everything under control. So the guests can return to their rooms."
He gave Satoru a stern gaze.

"Oh, great. So you released your prisone- uhm, sorry- guests?"

Utahime looked at Satoru in shock.

Mr. Kimura gave a fake smile. "You're very humorous like always, Mr. Gojo. But yes, you can go to your room, as you should."

"Are you lecturing me about decency? May I remind you of your equipment? Every hotel room has a telephone. You didn't need to bother getting to Ms. Iori's room at this late hour," Satoru said.

Mr. Kimura grinned fakely again. "Thank you for the kind reminder."

Satoru didn't take his scowl from the man. His blue eyes just looked like they could suck his soul. This scared Utahime a little.
"Well then, I wish you both a good night," she said and pushed Satoru to the door, too.

"Good night, Ms. Iori."

"Utahime. I'll call you right away."

She grinned nervously. "All right. See you then!" She closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief.

Satoru closed the door to his room and sighed in annoyance.
"That conceited snob!" He sat on his bed and called Utahime.

"Hey, Satoru."

"Did you see how rude that Kimura was to me?" He began immediately.

"Because you're behaving so wrong! What was your implication according his guests about?
What has gotten into you?"

"You said yourself, that this is a strange way to protect your guests. And why does he come to your room when he could have just called you?"

"He's just caring. Please, at least try to hold back a little. With me you can be yourself again."

It was so hard when this sneaky snot was arround.

They both just said good night and hung up.
Sighing, Satoru threw himself onto his bed. He had suppressed this terrible pain all evening - the fight against the curses had been a good distraction. But the loneliness conjured up all the feelings now again.
He remembered how he wanted to confess his love to her and she ran away from him.
While he had enjoyed every second of her closeness, every touch.

Suguru had been right...
It had been foolish... to nail the heart to the thorns of love.

Chapter 13: Flashback: Years ago

Notes:

So, this will be the last flashback chapter. Hope you'll enjoy. I did, as this is very close to how Gojo and Utahime are in the exchange in the first season, I think :D

Chapter Text

Within a few days, Satoru's life had changed drastically.
Utahime had left to the Kyoto Academy and not much later Kento quit his job as a sorcerer.
That was another shock. There were never any sorcerers who quit. Only those who gave up their lives. But there was another one who had quit. His best friend... he was a renegade now and had suddenly disappeared from his life.
It was quiet... so incredibly quiet without Suguru. Everything reminded Shoko and Satoru of him.
They could neither talk about Suguru nor ignore the fact that he was gone. So they didn't talk at all.
The wound Suguru left inside of them was so deep that it tore them apart, instead of keeping them together. Because neither Satoru nor Shoko could deal with pain. Perhaps that was why they were the only sorcerers who had mastered the red reversal technique.
Nevertheless, they had never completely lost sight of each other.

The exchange events with the Kyoto Academy, which took place once a year, were the only thing that gave Satoru a little enjoyment. A certain person had to deal with Satoru's silliness again.
That's why it annoyed Satoru all the more that the exchange couldn't take place two years in a row due to certain incidents. But now the time had finally come again.
Satoru was now twenty-two years old and still the same silly teenager he had always been.

"Satoru, please, be nice this time. We haven't seen her for years." Shoko begged as they walked to the Kyoto Academy.

"Excatly. Something has built up over these two years." Satoru giggled.

"Shoko's right," Kiyotaka said anxiously. "What if the Kyoto students hate us because of you?"

"Nah. They're probably all scared of me. Don't worry."
He removed his white blindfold and retied it as he sighed with annoyance.
"Arg... This blindfold looks cool but..."

"Too tortuous?"

"No. It covers my beautiful eyes."

Shoko groaned in annoyance. "Seriously?"

"I'm looking good with this blindfolds, too. Right?"

Shoko giggled. "You do. Don't worry. Bend over."
She stood on tiptoe, to pull his hair out of the blindfold. "There."

Satoru smiled at his friend. "Thank you."

Outside the entrance, Mr. Yaga and his students were greeted by principal Gaguganji.

Satoru recognized his victim immediately, but she looked different. This time Utahime wore her long, raven-black hair loose, tied into a half-braid with a light-colored bow. It looked good on her. And... a slight burn scar adorned Utahime's face under her eyes. He wondered what had happened. She looked older, too. And even more beautiful than he remembered.
But why he was thinking about her appearance now? And his heart was suddenly beating faster?

"Where are the other students?" Satoru asked curiously.

"The students have gathered in the yard," Utahime said.

Did she just say the students? Like she was excluding herself?

"Good," Principal Gaguganji pointed at Utahime.
"Our team leader, Ms. Iori will now introduce you to the competition."

"Team leader?!" Satoru blurted out

Utahime grinned victoriously. "Yes, you've heard right."

Some of the students who knew the deal between the two giggled.

"Wow, Utahime!" Shoko smiled proudly and her old friend.

"Thanks Shoko," the team leader said, smiling at her, too. „So let's go."
Utahime was surprised that Satoru followed quietly. Probably, he was too busy digesting her promotion. He certainly didn't dare to be rude to her now.

And she was right about that. Satoru could no longer tease her about her weakness, as she was higher up than him now. But instead, he asked overly unnecessary questions about the competition or boasted about what a good mentor he was.
Still, that was more silence than Utahime could ever imagine in Satoru's presence.
But Satoru probably couldn't survive without spoiling Utahime's day.
So while everyone else went to their rooms, only Satoru dawdled around the school yard,
waiting for Utahime to finish her meeting with the elders.

He finally caught her alone in the corridor. "Utahime!"

"Now Ms. Iori, got it?"

Satoru chuckled cheekily. "I can't address you like that. That's strange, isn't it?"

"Why strange? I'm older than you anyway."

"Uhm... Do you need help for tomorrow?"
Satoru blushed a little. "Just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you."

"Nice try, but you won't get any hints for the assignment."
She was about to leave when Satoru stood in her way. "What you're doing?!"

"It's not for me, it's for Kiyotaka. He wants to prove himself to Shoko, you know?
A little hint from you wouldn't be bad."

"I won't give anyone preferential treatment, ok?"

"And they say women know about matters of heart. I completely forgot yours is made of stone."

"Excuse me? Just because I don't let you get away with everything, you consider me as being heartless? And- how dare you talking to me like that? I'm like your-"

"My- what?" He grinned cheekily.

"Teacher!"

"I teach newcomers myself. Then you're no longer a student, so you're not my teacher.
And I'm excellent at teaching by the way."

Utahime tried to pass him, but he stood in her way again.
"Move aside!"

"What if I don't?" Satoru whispered seductively and leaned down a little too close to her.

Nervously, she took a step backwards. "I'll report your attempt at deception and your rudeness. Then you'll be disqualified!"

"Seriously? But the competitions would be far too boring without me."
Utahime just walked past him without paying attention to him anymore, so he had to run after her.
"Utahime? Please don't report me. It was just-"

She stopped and grinned devilishly.
"I finally have you in my hand. Do you think I'm going to let it slip away?"

"That would be really embarrassing. Please, Utahime. Don't."

Knowing she was his only chance, Utahime crossed her arms proudly.
"Okay. Only on the condition that you treat me like an elder from now on."

"You're taking this age thing way too seriously, Uta-."

"For example, you don't call your elders by their first names or make fun of them."

Satoru sighed in surrender.
"Alright... Utahime... I promise to treat you like an elder from now on."

She grinned victoriously.

The next day, the students gathered in the yard for the first competition.
Utahime wished Shoko good luck as her eyes searched for the white-haired nag.
"Where's Satoru? Is he late again?"

"Probably." Shoko pointed a finger in a direction. "Oh, there he is."

Utahime grinned vindictively and ran straight to him. "You're late!"

"I know. You don't have to tell me that."
He walked past her confidently, ignoring her.

"Excuse me? Don't you remember what we agreed?"

He put a finger to his lips and ran to her in a panic. "Shhht! Utahime."

"Apologize." She commanded.

"Sorry."

"That's not really an apology."

Satoru pouted. "I beg your pardon, Utahime."

"Ms. Iori."

"Ms. Iori." He repeated, annoyed.

"Well... ok I'll accept that. And bow to me."
When he hesitated, she prompted him again. "Come on."

For the first time, the nag Satoru Gojo looked pleadingly into her eyes. What a victory!
"Utahime... Please," he whispered desperately.

She grinned. "Why not? Or would it harm your fame with girls?"

Did Utahime think he was a womanizer? Satoru couldn't explain why this supposed opinion of hers offended him. Usually, he didn't really care what people thought of him.
"What girls? If you mean that I-"

At that moment, Utahime was called by principal Gaguganji, who sounded severer than usual.
Satoru watched her walking away. As Mr. Gaguganji whispered something to her, she looked at Satoru in shame.

He immediately took his eyes off her, pretending to be busy.

*Why did Utahime stare at me in shame?*Satoru asked himself. His heart trembled with panic. Was Gaguganji lecturing Utahime about Satoru? Did Gaguganji teach her, cause Satoru and her were doing something inappropriate? Like they were actually flir- No! They didn't! Why would they?

Gaguganji actually sensed a kind of flirty energy in Satorus and Utahimes manners earlier and he were warning her (without telling what he sensed) that it's inappropriate how she treats Satoru as he is still a student and she's the team leader now. So she stares at Gojo, ashamed of herself as a team leader for treating him in that joking/teasing way. Which leads Satoru to notice they were actually flirting but he shakes that thought off immediatly, because he is being so uncomfortable and insecure with feeling something real for a woman that he supresses or ignores the fact there was a kinda romantic thing betweem them.

During the competition, Utahime noticed that Satoru had developed a lot.
Nevertheless, it didn't impress her much, rather it provoked her why he became the star of the event again. Now, after his successful victory in the first competition, his chances were even better for being promoted. So she wouldn't have her peace from him for much longer.
At least she didn't have him on her back all the time now that he was in Tokyo.

After the first task, some of the young sorcerers were already being considered for possible promotion. Utahime seized the opportunity and came forward.
"I would also like to recommend a sorcerer. Aoi Todo for second grade."

The others were in complete agreement. Only seventeen years old, Todo stood out not only with his impressive curse techniques, but also with his intellect and physical superiority.

"Let's move on to Satoru Gojo," principal Gaguganji said.

Utahime didn't say anything. Like she was standing up for Satoru, although she still felt a little bad.
She knew he deserved it. Should she recommend him, too?

"Satoru Gojo is no longer rank 2, it seems and therefore overqualified for the competitions. How come he hasn't been promoted yet?"

"The incident Geto." Master Yaga said.

Mei spoke up. "I could recommend Satoru Gojo for first grade."

Utahime knew this would happen! Only she had hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

"Good." Master Gaguganji was about to register him for rank 1.
"Whereas... he surpasses all the sorcerers I've seen by far."

"Rank 1 is the highest level anyway," Utahime said.

"Yaga, we have the special grade for curses. Shouldn't we introduce that for sorcerers as well?"

"What?" Utahime blurted out, getting everyone's attention.
Did they really want to introduce a level higher than rank 1 exclusively for him?

"So from now on, Satoru Gojo will be assigned to the special grade and is officially disqualified from the competitions."

A new danger level for sorcerers was introduced just because of him. Now Satoru would be even more arrogant and annoying than ever before. And then yesterday she had teased him about her higher position. He would get back at her!
The next day, Utahime hardly dared to cross Satoru's path, but as the team leader she had to be present at the competitions. There was no escape.

How unfair! He had annoyed her all these years. And for once, she wanted to show him the ropes. For once, she had her peace. Did life have to spoil it for her?
Utahime sighed in annoyance. And as soon as she set foot in the academy, Satoru suddenly appeared in front of her and scared Utahime half to death.
"You moron!"

"Imagine, I'm even more dangerous than a special danger level curse."
Now he grinned more proudly than ever. "And you have the mum to be so cheeky with me, Uta?"
He could see that Utahime was almost bursting with rage.
"But... I'll be so gracious and forgive you. Only on one condition. From now on, you address me as Mr. Gojo. And bow to me."

If that wasn't an allusion to Utahime's demand. He wanted revenge. That was exactly what she was afraid of.
"Leave me alone." She tried to get past him, but she had to stop abruptly when he appeared in front of her again. "What do you want from me?"

"Admit that I'm much stronger than you."

"Moron!" She yelled, to which Satoru simply chuckled.

Utahime feared that this was just the beginning. And her suspicions were correct.
Later, she found a drawing, more like a doodle, of her and probably the talented artist of this masterpiece, in her bag. They were depicted as chibi heads. Above each of their heads he had listed their current level. The chibi with the black hair and the scar on it's face below 'first grade' was crying enviously like a baby, while the white-haired chibi under 'special garde' with white blindfold grinned proudly.
Furious, Utahime tore up the scrap of paper and threw it away.
How Satoru had smuggled the drawing into her bag was a mystery to her though.

And this game didn't stop the next day either.
Utahime and Satoru wished Shoko good luck for her duel before taking their seats next to the other sorcerers watching the fight.

"Utahime." Satoru whispered her name. The girl tried to ignore him,
but he kept calling her name until she had to react.

"What?" She almost shouted.

"What rank I was assigned to again?"

Utahime had absolutely no intention of answering and sighed in annoyance.

"Huh, what kind of team leader are you? You must know what rank your student-
ah sorry, your colleague is assigned to."
Although Utahime still didn't say anything, Satoru just kept talking.
"I see, you're silent and ashamed because you gambled too high with your position yesterday.
That's okay. Some people just have to be shown who's above their league."

"ABOVE MY LEAGUE?!"

"Shhht. Is it proper for the team leader to yell so outrageously loud?"

Like it wasn't enough that he was so annoying, he also took advantage of the fact that Utahime had to control herself. He really was like an insect that couldn't be squashed.
Coming to Kyoto had been the best decision of her life. And fortunately, she would get rid of him the next day as everyone congratulated each other once again and said goodbye.

Utahime was about to go in, as Satoru came next to her.
"So Uta, see you next year?"

"Unfortunately."

Satoru pouted. "Hey. Won't you miss me?"

"Yeah, sure!"

Grinning, Satoru opened his arms for her, as he hadn't get her sarcasm, which was why he was surprised that Utahime just walked past him.
"Moron." Was all she said.

Blinking, he stared after her.

Chapter 14: Betrayal

Chapter Text

Even though it was hard for Satoru to smile with this sorrow in his heart, he did his best, to behave like always. Utahime shouldn't take him for one of those men, who got angry when a woman rejected them. And also he wouldn't flirt with her as she obviously felt nothing for him.

But behaving as usual wasn't quite as simple as he thought it would be.
Something was different now. Utahime probably sensed his feelings for her and yet she feigned unawareness. And even though he no longer had any hope of her love, his heart wanted to show those hidden feelings. The more torturous it was to pretend his heart didn't beat for her. Every scene, every forced smile, drove another knife into his chest. But their friendship was worth the pain.

And like every morning, Utahime and Satoru had arranged to meet for breakfast, at the restaurant, when they were once again greeted by a very nice lady.

"Oh! There's the dream couple," the woman said as she seated the guests at a table.
Satoru and Utahime stared each other in shame.
"You both looked really stunning at the ball."

"Uh- thank you very much." Utahime's cheeks turned a little red.

They had their tea filled and then were left alone.

"Apparently, we look good together." Satoru remarked.

Utahime even tried to convince herself of not having a clue what Satoru meant.
"Uhm... so what?"

Well, he still had to get into the habit of not flirting.
"I don't care either. I just thought you'd be glad to hear, because I'm sure you rarely get compliments." Yes, he could still tease her.

Utahime laughed a little and pointed her head at Satoru's plate.
"You'd better eat instead of teasing me. Your tea is getting cold."

Satoru grinned although his heart was bleeding. But his smile was still real.

In the afternoon, Utahime and Satoru met for their appointment with Mr. Kimura and walked to his office together.

"So, how are your grandparents? Have they gotten used to Kyoto?"
Satoru asked as they walked down the long corridor.

Utahime smiled. "Yes, they're fine. Thank you for asking. Are you actually feeling better?"

Satoru's heart stopped. Had she noticed his sadness?
"What do you mean?"

"You had a strange pain in your chest last night."

"Oh that. Yes... I'm fine. That's nice of you to ask."

"Good, I'm glad."

Satoru felt a warm feeling in his heart. It was nice when someone cared about you. Just like Yuji had worried when Satoru went up against Sukuna. That pink-haired boy was just as lonely as he was. Fervently he hoped that Yuji saw him as something like an older brother, just as he saw him as a little brother or even a son.

"Satoru? What's wrong?"

The white-haired man wiped away a tear. "Nothing, I was just thinking about the kids. Yuji asks me almost every day when I'm coming back to Tokyo."

Utahime had to smile. "It's really cute that you have such a close bond with your students.
Don't know why, but I can't manage that much with mine." She giggled a little sadly.
"I guess, you're just more likeable than I am."

"No. Maybe you're just being too strict. Do something with them in private. Buy them dinner. My kids love that, too."

"You're right. Nobody owes you love, do they? And it doesn't come without effort either."

Did she mean herself and him? "That's right."

After the attack on the hotel, there were more clues about Suguru. Therefore, Mr. Kimura informed them about the next steps and the security precautions in detail.

"Good, then we have discussed everything." Utahime said. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Kimura."

He smiled charmingly at Utahime.
"Please call me Ando. After all, we're more familiar with each other now."

Utahime laughed, embarrassed. "You're right."

Satoru just grinned exaggeratedly. "So Ando, have a nice day."

The other man stood up from his chair only focused on his female guest.
"Utahime...? I wanted to ask you something."

She blinked in confusion. "Sure."

Mr. Kimura stared at Satoru.

"What? Go ahead," Satoru said casually.

"This is strictly about the Kyoto Academy, Mr. Gojo. So if you don't mind?"

Satoru's heart was pounding with anger. Why was he only addressing Utahime by her first name? He was interested in her, for sure!
Like it wasn't enough that Utahime didn't return his feelings, this Ando was also making eyes at her. But what could he do about it? Utahime wasn't his girlfriend, nor had she ever given him any hope.
"Of course." Satoru said in surrender and pulled the door shut, but he left a small crack open. His distrust of Kimura had less to do with his feelings for Utahime. So he inconspicuously listened to their conversation. Mr. Kimura asked Utahime about Kokichi Muta... to make sure that the student no longer had any contact with curses.
That made Satoru feel silly. Even though he hated to admit it, it was none of his business what the two of them were discussing and he was about to leave if his name hadn't been mentioned...

"And thank you for the information about Mr. Gojo's current situation. That will help us."

Satoru's heart stopped for a moment.
*Does he mean my soul splitting? What does Utahime have to do with this?*
He quietly leaned back against the wall and continued to listen.

"Ah no, it wasn't me."

"Oh. I assumed that since Mr. Gaguganji had assigned you to do it."

Satoru panicked a little. Was Utahime trying to pass on information about Satoru to Gaguganji behind his back? Strange. Since when did Gaguganji care about him?

"Perhaps you can tell me more details, though. Mr. Gaguganji is only aware of the cause of Mr. Gojo's weakness. Did you notice anything about him?"

"Yes. He... is currently having difficulty using some of his techniques."

Somehow, Satoru found it humiliating that Utahime was talking to Kimura about his 'disorder'.

"What techniques, for example?"

"Uh-"

Satoru suddenly burst in. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your conversation."
He grinned exaggeratedly again. "I must have left my phone somewhere here."

"Mr. Gojo? You can't just-"

"Satoru? There's no way your phone is under the pillow... or between the books."
Utahime said ashamedly.

"Honestly, if my phone is really gone, the consequences will be catastrophic. All the information about current special danger level curses is listed there. If I were you, I'd go looking for it."
He moved closer and closer to Mr. Kimura's desk.

"Mr. Gojo! Would you please stop rummaging through my things? I doubt your phone is there!"

"I'm so sorry, Ando."

"You don't have to apologize for Mr. Gojo."
He watched Satoru unscrewing the bulb of his table lamp.

"Uh-huh!"

"Satoru! What are you doing?"

Satoru looked curiously at the little silver thing in his hand. He widened his eyes, almost like he was mad. "What is that? Is it a little bug?"

"Are you implying that I've recorded our conversation?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing."

Utahime didn't know what to make of it either and looked at Mr. Kimura in confusion.

"That's a battery for the LED light bulb. Or do you see a power cable on the lamp?"

Satoru looked at the table lamp in shock. Sure enough, it had no cable.
"Sorry." He said ashamedly and turned the light bulb back into the lamp.

"Now, if you'll excuse me? I have some unfinished business."

Utahime bowed deeply to Mr. Kimura.
"Please excuse his outrageous behavior."

"Don't feel bad about it, Utahime. Mr. Gaguganji already had..."
He gave Satoru an annoyed look. "...forewarned me."

Satoru pursed his lips angrily.

"Well uhm... we'll go now. You've gotten enough of a headache."

*Headache... like I'm an annoying child* Satoru thought as he walked to the door, annoyed.

"Shall we talk about the rest over dinner?" Mr. Kimura asked her.

Satoru stopped abruptly and looked in a little panic at Utahime, who was staring at him in shock. Perhaps there was also some pity in her gaze. Did she actually want to accept the invitation?
She shouldn't turn down Mr. Kimura just for Satoru, and he didn't want to hear her accepting his invitation either, so he left the room without saying anything.

In the corridor, he heard the sliding door open and close behind and Utahime running after him. Nevertheless, he did not stop. So she grabbed him by his arm and stood in front of him.
"You must be out of your mind! That was so embarrassing!"

Satoru just looked up.

"What did I tell you yesterday, about holding back?"

Without saying anything, Satoru wanted to leave, but she held him back from his arm again.
Surprised, he stared at her.

"Hey, are you angry, too?"

"Yes, I am."

"Oh yeah? You're acting like a complete idiot and you're angry with me? We could have discussed everything with Ando now, instead of putting it off until dinner."

"I'm not angry about that!" Suprised about his temper, he stared at her, and his heart still trembling with jealousy. So she had accepted Kimura's invitation after all.

"But?"

Satoru swallowed once to suppress the pain in his chest, so he just looked at the ground.
"Did Mr. Gaguganji... hired you to spy on me or something?"

Utahime's heart skipped a beat. "Uh- uhh... did you just eavesdrop on us?"

"Yes, I did! But I guess my misdoing is the lesser evil."

She sighed. "Fine, but let's not talk about it here. Let's go to my room."

As Utahime took a seat on her bed, she watched Satoru as he sat down silently on the chair.
He crossed his legs and his arms, somehow sternly.
"You only sit like that when you really don't think much of someone"

He blinked a few times in suprise, but he stopped himself as he didn't intend to be distracted by her flattering observation. Although he didn't even know why it flattered him.
"So. What's all this about?"

"Well... principal Gaguganji asked me to find out what's wrong with you."

"Hmm. Why didn't you ask me directly? And even told me about your conversation?"
At her embarrassed look, he asked the right question.
"Or wasn't I supposed to know about it?"

"I..." He had never daunted her like this before.
"I should outshine you in this mission."

"What?" Satoru asked, disappointed.

"So that you won't dare being so stubbornly anymore! Honestly Satoru, principal Gaguganji speaks of you like you were our enemy now."

"Is that why you asked me yesterday what was wrong with me? Not because you cared for me?"

His disappointment stabbed her right in the heart.
"Yes, but mainly because I was really worried about you. And as I spoke to him on the phone afterwards, if you remember, he told me it was settled anyway, so I didn't tell you about it. But let's not get into that now. What's really wrong with you?"

"My soul is splitting"

"What?!" She widened her eyes in shock.

"This has caused Sukuna to interfere with my infinite curse energy supply."

And she wanted to outshine the man who had let him be tortured for her? When she had agreed to Gaguganji back then, she had thought that Satoru had saved her out of bravado. He had not only risked his soul for her, but also his life and his infinite strength. Her cheeks turned red with shame. "So Sukuna was even capable of doing that?"

"Apparently. But it can be treated, Shoko said. No big deal."

"But that doesn't sound as harmless as you make it sound."

"It sounds worse than it is."

"Then... I'm glad. Anyway, I'm sorry. I really didn't think anything of it."

"It's okay." Satoru stood up and was about to leave.

But Utahime's heart couldn't bear to let him go like this.
"Satoru?" Her voice made him stop.
"Listen, it... would just be awkward if you were at dinner, too. After what you accused Mr. Kimura of."
She laughed, embarrassed. "Not that I'm dating him, you know."

Satoru smiled slightly. "It's okay, Utahime. You don't owe me an explanation."

"Of course not but..." She smiled comfortingly. "I just wanted you to know."

He nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate that."
Even her pity hurt. Obviously, she really suspected how he felt about her. She just hadn't made it clear to spare him the embarrassment. And he was grateful for that.
Satoru smiled a little as he said goodbye and left her alone.

It was already getting dark.
The cool air blew against his skin. But he didn't mind. The air was no colder than the emptiness inside of him. He felt no motivation to go inside and put on a hoodie over his shirt. He preferred to sit on his terrace and stare blankly at the city, which glittered like a sea of gold in the darkness, but Satoru registered none of this beauty.
How could Utahime betray him so much? Even if they weren't on good terms back then...
after they had built up more trust in each other, shouldn't she have told him about the thing with that old man Gaguganji?

He remembered the two days they had spent in her village. How motherly her grandmother had been to him. Their being-a-couple game... Utahime had been glad that he had gone with her.
He remembered how she had cried against his chest when they had come to Kyoto from her grandparents' village. She had given him a feeling of familiarity and now this?
Even though it hurt terribly that his feelings for her were unrequitted, he wanted to mean something to her as a person, as a friend. Above all, that was important to him.
But now he no longer felt that bond. He no longer felt her friendship.
His anger was now replaced by another negative emotion. Sadness.
Luckily, he was a sorcerer with curse energy. How many curses would he have created otherwise?
He wiped away the tear from his cheek, forcing himself not to allow images of Utahime dining with Kimura and tried to sleep under the stars.

Chapter 15: A new side

Chapter Text

Since their first day at the hotel, Satoru had not missed even one day to pick her up for breakfast. But this morning he hadn't even called her. That was unusual. He didn't even show up at the restaurant with his carefree grin. Was Satoru still angry with her?

Utahime tried to enjoy the peace and silence she had yearned for so long. Lying on her bed, she browsed through all kinds of TV programs. She tried to keep herself busy for hours, but her eyes kept glancing at her phone to see if Satoru had contacted her yet. Nothing.

Then her phone lit up. He finally got in touch!
But she was disappointed again. It was just a message from Ando.
Without reading it, Utahime opened her chat with Satoru.
She hesitated at first, then typed.

Hey. Are you still mad at me? :(
She deleted the message.

Hey, are you okay? :)
She deleted this one, too and sighed sadly. The thought that Satoru might be angry with her didn't leave her in peace.

A very long dream came to an end and faded into white. The first thing Satoru felt was a warm touch on his forehead, then on his temple. Satoru woke up with a start and immediately grabbed her by the wrist. It was Utahime, who let out a startled gasp. Confused, they stared into each other's eyes.

"You were awake?" She asked nervously.

Satoru finally let go of her hand.
"What are you doing in my room? Wait, how... did I get on my bed?"

"I carried you here with jujutsu." She swatted at his shoulder with a cloth.
"You idiot! Why are you sleeping on the balcony without blankets? Of course you'll get sick!"
She pressed the cool cloth to his forehead this time.

"I... didn't notice. Arg... I have such a headache."

"I'm going to get some things to make you better."

"You don't have to do that. We can call a doctor."

"No, it'll just take longer. So don't argue."

"How you wish, Ms. Iori."

She smiled cheekily. "I like you much better like this."

Satoru had to hide a grin.

After a while, Utahime returned with a few shopping bags.

"I'm going to cook my grandmother's soup. You'll feel better in no time."

"Cool, so I don't have to eat the soup? It's enough that you cook it."

"I think you used to be funnier."

"Well... ordinary jokes aren't my strong point either. I'm more an expert at provocation."

She giggled. "True."
For the recipe, Utahime had to ask the healing chef herself for instructions, so she called her grandmother.

"Oh, are you unwell, my dear?" Her grandmother asked.

"No, the soup isn't for me, it's for Satoru."

"Oh, my poor little angel," the old woman said. "Give him the phone when he's with you."

"And the soup?"

"I'll explain in a moment, darling."

"Satoru? My grandmother wants to talk to you."

He smiled immediately and took the phone from her. "Granny?"

"My darling! Have you fallen sick, my angel?"

"Yes," he said in a pitiful tone.

"If you eat this soup, you'll get back on your feet, my son. And if my granddaughter hurts you again, call me immediately and I'll scold her."

Satoru had to laugh. "Thank you, grandma, I... I really love you."

Utahime's heart stopped for a moment at his words. He really must had feel lonely to have taken her grandmother to his heart so quickly. That thought made Utahime feel really sorry for him.
But she couldn't do anything about that.

"Sayu, this boy is so adorable! He says, he loves me." She praised Satoru to her daughter-in-law and turned to him again. "I love you too, my angel. Get my granddaughter on the phone for me."

Satoru smiled happily. "Bye, grandma. Take care."
He held out the phone to Utahime.

The chef explained to her caring granddaughter step by step how to make the soup and Satoru watched her, trying to stop imagining her as his wife. He hadn't suggested calling the doctor for nothing. If she was so caring, he got his hopes up for nothing.
*I shouldn't delude myself. She only cares about me because she doesn't want to fight the curses alone.* He thought. But what about her touching him? Or had that just been a delusion from the fever? Utahime's conversation with her grandmother brought him out of his thoughts.

"Really? I can't believe my marriage is causing a stir. I've always been unpopular, actually."

Now Satoru was ashamed once again that he had always teased her about her weakness. Strength and independence... Utahime had given up her recognition in her village for these and had not bowed to their expectations. And he had even taken away her strength and pride from her.

"My mom knows, I had no choice," he heard Utahime saying.
"She can tell people after a few weeks that Satoru and I broke up or something."

It hurt him so much to hear her saying that, even though they weren't even together.

"... Yeah, me too, grandma." Utahime came to Satoru with a bowl and held it to his lips.
"So, open your mouth."

"Utahime..." He was embarrassed to be fed by her. So he carefully took the bowl from her hand and sipped the soup himself.
"Mmmh... tastes even better than my vegetable soup. Thank you."

"You'll feel much better."

"But there's no poison in it, is there?" he asked, chuckling.

She paused and pursed her lips in offense. "Why would it?"

He grinned. "Because you're more dangerous than I thought."

She laughed, embarrassed. "I know you're still mad at me. But... I just didn't want you to be a thorn in Master Gaguganji's side. I was worried about your career."

"And why didn't you talk to me about it?"

"Would you have listened to me?"

He paused for a moment. She was right. He wouldn't have listened to her.

"All right, then. I'll forget the whole thing." He pouted sweetly. "If you apologize properly."

"You're right. That still wasn't right of me."

"And you say you're sorry."

"And I am sorry."

"I also want to have a gift as recompense."

"Okay. That's enough now."

"Or I'll be mad." He pursed his lips sweetly again.

"All right, then. I'll get you something." She promised him, giving up.

He smiled happily.

"If you're feeling well in the evening, we can eat together again. I don't wanna dine alone again. That was really boring," Utahime said.

Satoru was surprised. "You didn't have dinner with Kimura last night?"

"No, we sorted it out over the phone. I wasn't that hungry after all."

That meant Utahime didn't actually feel attracted to Ando. Otherwise she would hardly miss the opportunity to have dinner with him. Even if it pleased Satoru, sooner or later she would fall in love with a man whos name wasn't Satoru Gojo. Only the imagination made his heart bleed.
But at least it should be a man worthy of Utahime. And that Kimura certainly wasn't.

In the evening, Satoru still didn't feel quite fit, so he had arranged to meet Utahime for breakfast the next day. His fever had gone down, though. Utahime's soup had really done him good.
And he was just about to go to bed when his phone rang. He hadn't expected Mei at all.
Especially not at this time of night. Had something bad happened? Had something happened to his students? His heart racing, he answered the call.
"Hello, Mei?"

He heard her giggle.
"I didn't know you would be so excited to hear my voice." She said.

"I... I just thought it was urgent."

"It is urgent, but not in the way you think. I need something sweet from you."

"I can get something for you, but... didn't you say it was urgent?"

Out of nowhere, Mei laughed.

*Utahime doesn't even laugh when I joke and Mei laughs at simple questions?
Women are really weird sometimes.*
"What's so funny?"

"You're really cute, Satoru."

His heart skipped a beat. *Did she just flirt with me?*
"Well... I'm going to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow."

"We'll talk when you get back. Good night, Satoru."

"Good night."
Confused, Satoru furrowed his brows and didn't think any more about Mei.
She was probably just in a strange mood again, as usual.

"I'm glad you're well again." Utahime said as they had breakfast.
"You weren't going to leave me alone to fight those beasts, were you?"

"Oh, you could have done it on your own." He said.

Strangely, Satoru just remembered what Mr. Kimura had told him.
He shouldn't make Utahime feel like she needed help. He had been right about that.

"Your grandmother's soup really helped. But I can't eat the pancakes anyway. I think that has something to do with my sixth eye being blocked." A little sad, he took some more of his rice.
"At least now I can walk around without covering my eyes, as they don't shine so much anymore. That's also kind of a relief."

"You see? There are good sides to it, too. And I think you're just not allowed to eat sweets on an empty stomach."

He grinned. "Yeah, maybe. I'll get ice cream later. So we're going out together then?"

"Going out?"

"I meant to go out!" Satoru blushed a little. "Not... you know..."

"Yeah... uhm... sure why not? But you won't cheat when I buy your present. Okay? I want it to be a surprise."

Satoru grinned. "Of course I won't. I love surprises."

At the mall in the afternoon...

It was both unusual and wonderful for them to spend time together. Above all, Utahime couldn't believe they got along so well. Since she had been on the mission with Satoru, she had gotten to know him from a completely different angle. She had seen that he also had fears, that he really cared about others and also, she didn't know that he liked shopping as much as she did. Although Satoru was less interested in care products or useful Tupperware, he was definitely a good advisor. There didn't seem to be anything he didn't know. And she always thought Kento was the only super-brain in the academy.
But what didn't a passionate shopper want to have with them when they went shopping?
A second passionate shopper with other interests. Because everything took twice as long then.
Still she had to respect his interests and show the same patience and attention that he had given her. So she let him drag her wherever he wanted to go.

"Oh look there!" Satoru pointed to an electronics store that had red posters in front of their entrance with the white lettering 'up to fifty percent off'.

"What do we do there?" Utahime asked.

"We're going to get discounted cheap movies and laugh at how badly they're written."

She laughed. "Okay..."

"It's no fun on your own and somehow Shoko loves everything trashy."

"So that's why she was friends with you."

Satoru laughed out loud. "I have to admit, that was a good one."

Utahime giggled cheekily.

"Anyway, we can criticize the movies together."

"Yeah, maybe we really could. I mean... Your taste in movies really isn't bad."

Satoru took one of the DVDs in his hand.
"Look at this one. You can tell from the cover it's really cheap, can't you?"

She giggled. "Yes, you can. But where are we going to watch it anyway?"

"You're right. Or... I can search for the movie online and we watch it on my phone."

"Fine." She took the DVD from his hand and put it back in its place.
"Then no more impulse buys."

Satoru bit his lower lip guiltily and grinned.

"So have a look around here, if you want to. I'll come and see you as soon as I've bought your presents, all right?"

He winked at her. "Okay. And then we'll get ice cream?"

"You're a good talker. You won't get fat from sugar."

"You would still look-"
No, no flirting and no compliments, Satoru reminded himself.
Sometimes he really didn't know where that fine line between close and distant lay.
"So a little more flab wouldn't hurt you."

"Why?" Utahime asked, almost in a panic. "Am I too thin?"

"No, no, you're really perfect the way you are. So you're good-looking. Uhm, not... not that I'm trying to imply anything. I'm sure others have told you that too, haven't they?"

"Well... um... Yeah."

"See? Don't worry about it. An ice cream won't do any harm."

"All right, then I'll treat myself to something sweet. But on a stick, not a scoop."

"I see..." Satoru grinned. "Look at her, someone has a favorite."

She giggled. "Yes, Garigari-kun."

"How cute." He leaned towards her a little. "Okay, let's get your Garigari-kun then."

And that's exactly what they did after Utahime had bought was done.
She successfully hid what the presents were. She had even switched the shopping bags with the ones from another store, so that Satoru couldn't find out what she had bought for him.

"Aren't you going to give me a tiny little hint?" Satoru bent his lower lip imploringly.

"No I won't." Utahime calmly licked her frozen ice cream and stared at Satoru in shock.
"What are you doing?"

"Uhm... biting into my ice cream?"

"Where's the fun in eating it all away quickly? And it's too cold."

"Am I supposed to wait until it melts on my fingers?" Satoru said.

"Uhm... Yeah." She giggled. "Then you lick the melting spots quickly."

He had to laugh, too.
"I thought I was the only one, of the two of us, who was into action."

"Well, there are others who love or fear the same things as you."

Somehow her words made his heart tremble.

"You... are only human."

"This may sound strange, but... Thank you for reminding me."

She smiled.

"But sometimes it's not that easy, you know? Being human means so much. Things happen, you feel things that you can't control. Unlike with curse energy."

"And that's what differ us from curses, isn't it?"

You know what your infinite curse energy will turn you to? ... A curse...

Satoru's heart trembled in panic. "Yes. You're right." He licked his ice cream.
Goosebumps ran down his back. And not because of the cold.

Chapter 16: Making the same mistake

Chapter Text

Satoru opened his first present. It was a cute little sorry-teddybear.
He laughed. "Standard, but cute."

She giggled. "Ok, let's see if you like your actual present."

"Ok. Hmm... this is definitely a book." Impatiently, he opened the second present too. Satoru's eyes widened. "Is that..."

She grinned. "Yes, it's the sequel to 'Chemistry of Death'. I've noticed on your bookshelf you don't have this part."

He smiled in amazement. "Thank you, that's... really thoughtful."
Satoru caught himself staring into Utahime's eyes. He immediately took his eyes off her.

„So you've forgiven me?" Utahime asked with an embarrassed grin.

He smiled. "I had anyway."

Suddenly, Utahime laughed to herself.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"Did I ever think I'd be worried about you being mad at me?"

"Hmm..."

A strange silence fell for a moment.

"I don't know..." She shrugged her shoulders. "... somehow you've become so different."

"How different?"

"Like..." Utahime frowned her brow cause she found her description a little strange.
"Like more human."

Satoru didn't take his eyes off the teddybear he was playing with.
"Utahime..." He paused. He just couldn't ask, if he would see her again after the mission.

"Yes?" She didn't look at Satoru either.

"You know... I've always convinced myself that strength brings loneliness with it, necessarily." Satoru intentionally paused for a moment.
"But that was just an excuse to keep me away from people who could mean something to me.
Because I feared getting hurt."

"A legitimate fear. That's why I don't let such thoughts into my mind either."

His heart clenched at her words. Another one who was hiding from love for nothing.
"Don't make the same mistake I did, Utahime. The day will come when you can no longer suppress your feelings, and then... it might be too late."
At least Utahime shouldn't miss her love.

"It won't come to that."

"That's what I thought, too. But it's not that simple. Your heart won't stand the pain that you never let your love cross your lips. Wouldn't it be sad... if you never got the chance to see the joy in the eyes of your lover? The joy of being loved by you..."

"And what if something happens to that person?" Utahime herself seemed to be surprised by her question. There were even tears in her eyes, which she wiped away.

For whom were her tears meant to? Did she have someone in her heart?
A pang ran through his heart at that thought.

"Anyway... I have enough people in my life to worry about," she said, smiling at him very lovingly.

When she smiled at him like that, she also was talking about him, right? His heart was pounding with happiness. He was sure, she enjoyed spending time with him too now. They had had so much fun together today. So she probably liked him, maybe even a lot. Not as a man, but at least as a person.
And maybe they could even become friends in time, if they met in private after the mission.
His heart trembled with joy, even though the idea of being just a friend to her was painful.
But the main thing was to be with her. And thanks to this mission, he could prove to her he was lovable.

The next day did not begin with good news. Nearby, someone had been killed in exactly the same way as the man from Utahime's village. It was undoubtedly Suguru.
After breakfast, Satoru and Utahime would search the crime scene for remains.
They were just waiting for permission from principal Gaguganji.
And the meeting point was in front of Utahime's room.

Utahime smiled when she saw Satoru at her door.

"Good morning, Uta."

"Hey, Satoru. Oh, isn't that the shirt you were wearing at the ball?"

Satoru wondered. He hadn't thought she would notice.
"Yeah." Was there a hint of joy on her lips? No, certainly not! Why should she?
"It's a pity we don't have a single photo from that evening."

"Maybe they took pictures of the evening. We can ask Ando when we get back.
Oh, I almost forgot my card." She said and scurried playfully to her room.

Utahime rarely showed this side of her, but he knew she had always been full of childlike energy. She strengthened an almost extinguished light in him, just as she strengthened his curse power.
She, Shoko and the kids. They were the only ones still worth living for.

Together they walked to the restaurant, got their food and sat down at their table.
Without asking, Satoru stole some of Utahime's food with his chopsticks.

"Satoru! You have the same rice balls on your own plate!"

"That's not the point. I just don't want you to have anything to eat."

"Aarg, I wanted to taste it though!" She tried to steal the rice balls from his plate, but Satoru pulled his plate away.

She suppressed a grin. "Stop."

Satoru chuckled. "Here, take mine."
He rolled the rice balls onto her plate with his chopsticks, making her smile.
"They taste good, don't they?"

"Yes." Utahime's phone vibrated at that moment. She checked the new message.
"So, have you read it yet?"

"The book? No, not yet. I need a clear head for it. But I can hardly..."
Utahime seemed preoccupied with something. She wasn't listening to him, just staring at her phone.
"What's wrong? ... Utahime?"

"I... I'm supposed to go back to Kyoto."

Satoru suddenly fell silent and Utahime said just as little.
They finished their meal in silence.

"Well, then..." Utahime stood up. "...I'll pack up my things."

Satoru also got up from the table. "Are you leaving right after?"

There was something pleading in his eyes. She had to look away.
"Yes. I have to check out by noon."

He nodded disappointedly.

"Good... uhm... see you later then."

"See you." He looked after her as she disappeared through the glass door.
Hopefully not out of his life, too.

Even if this separation was unexpected, he was still closer to Kyoto here, than in Tokyo.
Surely, they could meet from time to time, even after the mission.
It wasn't so bad that Utahime was already leaving. They could still talk on the phone.

Satoru comforted himself with these thoughts while he waited for Utahime in the lobby.
Nervously, he rubbed his sweaty hands together and breathed in and out deeply, to calm his excited heart. She could turn up at any moment.
What would she say to him before she left? Would she hug him goodbye?
He felt so pathetic that his heart beat faster at that thought.
And here she came with her suitcase. Satoru smiled and ran to her.
"Hey."

"Hey."

And what should he say to her now? He couldn't think of anything.

Then Utahime was braver and broke the silence.
"Well... from now on you'll carry on without me."

"Don't worry, I'll handle the curses. Uhm... may I invite you for coffee, maybe? Before you go?" Satoru asked nervously.

"Well... maybe we should start getting used to it, right?"

Satoru looked blankly. "Get used to what?"

Utahime smiled sadly. "Well, no more spending time together."

Satoru's heart hurt at her words. So she didn't want to meet him? Never again?

Utahime looked towards the exit. "Oh... there's my taxi."

In fact, a taxi driver was already waiting for his customer.
Satoru looked at her again and laughed sadly. "Were you in such a hurry?"

"I've already bought my ticket and don't want to miss my train."

He nodded disappointedly. So spending more time with him meant nothing to her.
So she wouldn't miss him. So this was a farewell after all.
While his heart was beating madly for her love and he had accepted the darkness of that love's extinguished light, should he now give up hope for their friendship?
Satoru swallowed once to hold back his tears.

"Everything ok?"

"So that's it?" He asked with a shaky voice and his eyes filled with tears that made them look like blue diamonds.

Her heart clenched at his pleading gaze. Her chest trembled.
The only thing Utahime could manage to come out from her dry lips was a fake smile.
"Well, we're used to only seeing each other at the competitions."

*No not anymore...*
"Yes." Satoru's throat tightened at that lie.

"Miss? Did you order the taxi?"

"Yes."

Satoru quickly blinked away his tears as Utahime handed her suitcases to the driver.

She smiled at Satoru again. But this time she also had tears in her eyes.
"I... uhm... I guess I'll kind of miss you."

He tried to laugh, but his throat tightened again. He just couldn't say anything. Neither that he loved her nor how much he would miss her.
He felt like he was going to cry as soon as he spoke.
Should he at least hug her? A first and last time? But he didn't know if she even wanted to be close to him. He didn't want to force anything on her, so he put his hands in his pockets, so they weren't hanging uselessly in the air.

Tears filled her eyes uncontrollably. Still, she smiled.
"See you and... Take care, okay?"

"You too." Satoru tried to smile, too.

She waved to him as she got in. As a farewell he raised his hand to her and watched her disappearing from the hotel. So also from his life.
He had truly believed that she at least liked him as a person. Maybe she did, but apparently not enough to see him as a friend, while he had accepted the suffer, to love her from a distance.
And soon Utahime would get used to his absence and forget him entirely.
He instead wouldn't spend a moment without thinking about her.

*And yet I would never exorcise your love out of my heart.*

Satoru took a breath and calmed down a bit. He wiped away his tears and dragged himself back to his room. Then his eyes fell again on his sorry-teddybear on the bedside table. He took it in his hand, sat on his bed and played with it for a while.

I'm sorry...

*Sorry for you don't return my feelings?*
A teddy bear and his memories were the only keepsakes of her. Hopefully they would never fade.
Finally he threw himself on his bed and let out a shaky breath to keep himself from crying.

The buildings, the people, the streets, everything flashed past her window as she drove to the train station. Even though Utahime didn't register anything she saw outside, she did notice
how quickly you could leave everything behind. What had she left behind?
She closed her eyes thoughtfully.
Immediately she saw those blue diamonds again. His eyes. That gaze...

So that's it?
Satoru's words came up in her mind.
No matter how hard she tried to distract herself, she couldn't get his voice out of her head.
Why were tears filling her eyes again? Would she miss him that much?
She immediately shook off those thoughts.
Instead of thinking about him anymore, she called Shoko to inform her about Satoru's current situation. But she hadn't expected Shoko to be so worried.
"But Satoru told me it isn't that bad?" Utahime told Shoko worriedly.

"He needs to be taken to a doctor for sorcerers immediately, Utahime!"

"I shouldn't leave him alone! Hopefully Kento is already on his way."

"How come? Kento is in the infirmary."

"WHAT?!" Utahime asked the taxi driver to stop. The tall building of a shopping center stretched along the side of the road. "But there are no other grade 1 sorcerers in Tokyo available. Is Kento okay?" She said as she got out and paid the driver.

"Yes everything is allright. But why did the principal pull you out of the mission so quickly?"

"True. He knows that Satoru's soul is splitting. So why doesn't he first make sure-"

"Wait a minute." Shoko interrupted her. "No one knew about Satoru's condition except me."

"What?! How did principal Gaguganji know...?" Utahime felt sick. She remembered
what Mr. Gaguganji told her on the phone after her battle with the curses on the prom night.
We don't have to worry about Satoru Gojo anymore... His days are over...
"They want to kill him."

"WHAT?!" Shoko screamed.

"Mr. Gaguganji wants Satoru... to be killed by Suguru."

Chapter 17: The great reunion

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Two weeks ago...

"I will make sure Satoru Gojo runs straight into your arms. And you assure me his death in return.

"So you want to bait me with Satoru Gojo?"

"Otherwise you would probably never crawl out of your hiding place. Still better than you terrorizing the whole world when we least expect it."

"Rejected. How would I have a chance against him if he could even defeat Sukuna?"

"It wasn't him who defeated Sukuna, but Utahime."

"So what? This surprises me, but Satoru is still invincible."

"He's weakened."

Suguru raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Really? And what exactly led to this?"

"Utahime was assigned by me to find out. She accompanies him on this mission."

"No need. Mahito could easily look into his soul. That would be quite advantageous for the fight against him. And also I can check whether you're telling the truth before I reveal my location to you."

"But how do we explain to the academy you knew where Gojo were?"

"Don't worry, no one will suspect you. Mahito and Hanami will stage an attack at the hotel, in which Mahito will supposedly reveal to them that I learned their location through my veil."

"Then it should be at the ball, which is supposed to take place in a few days. That way they'll think you're targeting a crowd."

"I am of course aware that you sorcerers will try to attack me at the first opportunity, that is clear, old man. But to get Satoru out of the way, it's worth the risk."

"You sound just as rude as that snotty brat," principal Gaguganji said disparagingly.

Suguru giggled cheekily. "Well... I guess I was his friend for too long."

Today...

Satoru didn't know how long it had been since Utahime had left the hotel.
Certainly not even thirty minutes, but to him it felt like an ever-growing eternity.
He couldn't tell her what was on his mind. He couldn't confess his love to her. Why should he?
Apparantly, she didn't want his love. Not even his friendship.
Otherwise, why would she have assumed that they would never meet again?
And all their beautiful time together? Was it just pastime for her? Nothing special?
He thought it was a good sign that she could laugh at his jokes.
The thought made his heart ache and tears continued to stream down his cheeks.

It occurred to him that he should now head out to investigate the crime scene.
But he absolutely couldn't find the strength for it. He preferred to stay on his bed.
His blue eyes, which had once sparkled with happiness, now stared blankly into emptiness.
He was tired of everything. Tired of being abandoned, tired of getting hurt.
So this was being human? Being vulnerable, so everyone could hurt you like they wished to.
And suddenly, for the first time in a while, he felt anger towards Suguru again.
How could he just leave him behind, like it was nothing? Like they-

His heart jumped when Utahime suddenly appeared in his room.
With a hopeful smile, he pushed himself off his bed and opened the glass door of his balcony for her.
"Utahime?"

"Satoru!" She held his arms out of worry. Her eyes filled with tears.
"Thankfully! You're okay. We have to get out of here, immediately."

"Why are you crying, Uta? What is it?"

"I think Mr. Gaguganji and Suguru are in cahoots. They're trying to kill you."

"What?"

Utahime wiped her tears with shaky hands.
"I'll explain everything later."

"You came back for me?"
He hardly dared to feel that happiness, and even his blissful smile came out of despair, but still a naive excitement filled his chest. And yet he completely forgot to fear death.

"Of course. I couldn't let anything happen to you."

Satoru smiled even brighter.

In a panic, Utahime held his hand and tried to teleport them out of the hotel room, but it didn't work. A veil that blocked teleportations could be responsible.

They escaped out the window and used the veil that Utahime had put up.
Unfortunately, the security guards were already waiting for them, so they knew Utahime was back in the hotel. Which meant either another veil neutralized hers or there were sorcerers among the security guards who could see her. Both suggested that Utahime's disturbing suspicion that principal Gaguganji betrayed them, was correct. And maybe even Mr. Kimura knew all this time.

The exit was blocked, but the two sorcerers didn't let them stop. As they ran, Satoru shattered the bulletproof glass of the facade into thousands of shards that fell over the men.
"Utahime! Now!"

She grabbed Satoru's hand and teleported them into the ladies bathroom of the mall where the taxi driver had dropped her off. Through the speed, they banged against each other in the cabin and gasped a little.

"Oh, sorry." Satoru let go of her hand and pushed himself away from her.
His skin tingled everywhere he could still feel her.

Utahime also seemed to be aflutter.
"I'm fine," she whispered breathlessly.

But the embarrassment didn't stop.
As they were coming out of the cabin, an older woman yelled at them angrily.
"These naughty young people nowadays! Do your private things between your four walls!"

Satoru and Utahime blushed immediately defended themselves.
At that moment, a young woman also screamed and pointed her finger at Satoru in shame.
"Even if you look incredibly good... You have no business here, got it, pervert?"

"No, I..."

Utahhime held her forehead in shame

"Get out of here, now!" The older lady shouted.

The two ran out promptly.
Satoru tried not to imagine what the old woman had assumed about them. Still, he couldn't stop feeling slightly excited.
"Did you have to teleport us to the ladies bathroom of all places?"

"I had teleported myself from there to the hotel. There was no other way."
Utahime exclaimed with red cheeks. Both tried to calm down.

"Damn. What was that at the hotel?"

"Ando- Mr. Kimura must have alerted security when he saw us.
He is probably also in cahoots with Mr. Gaguganji."

"I'm not surprised at all. What's going on anyway?"

"I think Mr. Gaguganji wanted to find out your weakness for Suguru. He said it was resolved right after we fought the curse spirits at the ball. You said that curse with gray hair, could see into your soul. Couldn't they have told the principal? And he didn't want to send you support."

"You could be right." Satoru narrowed his eyes skeptically.
"I have a strange feeling. We shook them off at the moment but... It was too easy."

"Satoru!" Almost panicked, she looked into his sky blue eyes.
"I have no idea what will happen next, but... Please be careful."

"I will, Utahime... And my heart wants to keep you safe, but... I really need you this time."
He said to the woman he had always called weak. „I can't do this without you."

Utahime's heart beat faster with pride. Had she heard correctly?
Quite gently, yet noticeable, she held Satoru's arm and took a small step closer to him.
At her touch, Satoru's heart raced so fast he thought it could stop.
"I won't leave your side for a second," she said.

"Utahime..." Would she step back at his touch? He didn't dare.
But she stared at him so enchanted, like she had found the whole world in his eyes.
Satoru's heart almost wanted to burst. This wasn't the gaze of a friend! There was more...

"Satoru!"

This voice! Shocked, Satoru widened his eyes and turned backwards.

"Sorry to interrupt your romance. Nice to see you, Utahime."

Utahime didn't look pleased at all when she saw the familiar face.

"Hmm... how rude of you, Satoru. Don't you even want to say hello to your old friend?"

Satoru's cold gaze didn't change. "You look different."

"However, your face has hardly changed. Unlike your character, apparently.
Really irresponsible of you to lure me into this big crowd."

"Spare them."

"When I'm done with you, they're all going to die anyway."

"You bastard! Satoru was your friend!" Utahime took a step towards him.
"And how dare you to attack my village, ha?"

"It was your village?" His expression changed a little, but then the black-haired man hid his hands in the long sleeves of his kimono and smiled like he really cared.
"I'm terribly sorry. But I just can't stand the smell of monkeys."

Utahime frowned angrily. What did she expect from a man who had even killed his own family just because they were non-sorcerers?

"Just leave Utahime and the people here out of this. You can't be that heartless."

Suguru teleported to Satoru and held his arm. At the same time, Utahime grabbed Satoru's sleeve and all three landed in a pasture, far from the city. Rice field terraces could be seen in the distance.
"Satoru!" Utahime called out worriedly.

She immediately closed her eyes to release her curse technique of enhancement.
Now again, she remembered the melody they had danced to and felt Satoru's hands on her body.
She swung her hips, her arms. She felt Satoru's curse energy getting stronger, which gave her goosebumps, intoxicated her, almost gave her an erotic excitement. No sorcerers curse energy was so intense to affect her body.

Now Satoru could kill Suguru in one go, but he just hesitated.
Why didn't he use his hollow purple or domain expansion again?
Then she knew. He still loved Suguru. He still hoped to find his friend in him. That made Utahime get even more mad at Suguru. How could he be so heartless to him? Couldn't he see, how much he needed his love? Tears filled Utahime's amber eyes, feeling Satoru's pain.

And suddenly Mahito also appeared.
"What a reunion!" He said happily, luring Utahime away from the white-haired man.
She kept trying to look for Satoru to see if he was still holding out, while blocking Mahito's attacks.
Likewise, Satoru was distracted with Utahime.

"Hoo, the music is playing here, Satoru-chan," Suguru grinned cheekily and started his next attack.

The white-haired sorcerer held out bravely, but Suguru's attacks hit him like daggers.
He was his friend after all. How could he attack him without flinching?
Inevitably, he remembered Suguru from Sukuna's torture.
We were never friends...just comrades...nothing more...
"Suguru!" Satoru blocked an attack. "Have I ever been your friend? Tell me!"

"Why do you keep talking about friendship?"

"Because there were times when I thought you considered me your friend."

He smiled. "What does the past matter?"
Suguru stabbed Satoru with his curse, causing the poison to flow through his body.
"You don't see me as your friend anymore."

Satoru tried to breathe. "But I- ...I do."

Suguru widened his eyes in shock. He froze, so his attack dissipated.

"You are my only friend, Suguru."

"Are you serious? You're just saying that to-"
He stared at his old friend in shock. He had never seen Satoru crying before.
Not even when he left him. And now tears fell from those diamond eyes.

The white-haired man raised his hands.
"I'm exhausted. I can no longer use reversal techniques. So, kill me. But I want to die as your friend, at least... Suguru," he said in such a gentle voice that Suguru's heart ached. And yet he slowly raised his hand to give Satoru his finishing kick.

After all his loving words, did Suguru still want to kill him?
Did anyone really love him? What was the point of life anymore?
Then he should die here and now at the hands of his friend.
That pain alone was enough to kill him.

Satoru screamed in suffer. The terrible pain in his chest was so strong that he couldn't breathe.
But it didn't feel like death. It felt like he was... being reborn.
He could feel exactly how all his wounds were healing, how his strength was slowly returning.
Satoru's eyes widened. Such powerful curse power flowed through him that his body floated high into the air. He laughed like crazy and opened his arms proudly.
But this feeling was much stronger than his first 'waking up' as he fought against Toji Fuhiguro.

"MY SIXTH EYE! IT'S WORKING AGAIN!" His voice sounded almost like it came from hell.
Insane with the intoxication of the curse power, Satoru whirled his techniques indiscriminately, causing earthquakes and creating huge ravines. Reversal technique Red! Hollow purple!
For the first time, he was able to use both techniques in such a short space of time. Not even with Utahime's reinforcing curse technique would he have been able to do that before.

Suguru found it almost frightening to see Satoru in this state.
Somehow he reminded him of Rika who cursed Yuta Okkotsu.
Instinctively, Suguru took a few steps back. He could feel Satoru's curse power being much stronger than ever before.
"What the-"

"I AM THE STRONGEST! THE STRONGEST EVER! DO YOU SEE MOTHER?! AM I STRONG ENOUGH NOW?! I AM A GOD!" Again he threw one of his techniques.

"Satoru!" Utahime roared in worry, but Mahito continued attacking her.
What was wrong with Satoru? He looked like he had lost his mind.
Her heart ached terribly with fear.
She had to deal with this curse as quickly as possible to stop Suguru. Somehow, no matter how.
*Satoru... please stay strong... don't give up... I want to see...*

Wouldn't it be sad... never seeing the joy in the eyes of your lover? The joy of being loved by you...

Tears filled her eyes, while she tried to concentrate on the gray curses attacks.
She had to stay strong for Satoru.

Meanwhile, Suguru tried to protect himself from Satoru's deadly attacks.
Although Satoru was outdoing himself at the moment, he was using his techniques ill-thought-out and seemed rather insane.
*His soul is so unstable.* Suguru swung up on his curse towards Satoru.
"Satoru! That's not you!"

"YOU!" Now he glared at Suguru. He roared, crying, his voice almost deafening.
"DROWN IN THE RIVER OF MY TEARS THAT I COULD NEVER SHED BECAUSE OF YOU!"

He threw Suguru back onto the ground with full force. Luckily, Suguru was able to use his curse spirit to catch himself, so he suffered little damage.

Satoru hurled another hollow purple across the valley and caused a second earthquake.
"YES! YES! DESTRUCTION! That feels good!"
He was unrecognizable.

Why was Suguru's heart trembling in such panic? Did he care about Satoru after all?
*His soul is splitting... He is turning into... a curse.*

A curse... born of grief.

Notes:

I've cried in this chapter while I was writing the part where Satoru asks Suguru if he ever been his friend T-T their friendship is too heartbreaking. And how Utahime was worried about Satoru TT-TT

Next chapter will continue in the same scene with a little skip. The skipped part I'm going to reveal also in the next chapter. Hope you'll enjoy :')

Chapter 18: Keep smiling

Notes:

What happened so far...

Satoru: "The day will come when you can no longer suppress your feelings."
Utahime: "It won't come to that."
Satoru: "It'd be sad if you never got the chance to see the joy in the eyes of your lover. The joy of being loved by you."

Then his eyes fell again on his sorry-teddybear on the bedside table.
*Sorry I don't return your feelings?* Satoru thought.

As Utahime is leaving Satoru behind at the hotel, in a taxi, she notices how quickly you can leave everything behind.
What was she leaving behind, she thinks.
'So that's it?' Satoru's words comes up in her mind.

After noticing, she is coming back for Satoru, to protect him from getting killed by Suguru and Gaguganji.
During the fight, Satoru has his second 'awakening' caused by his soul splitting, because he was supressing his feelings for so long and he no longer stands Suguru's hate for him. Meanwhile Utahime is fighting Mahito, as Suguru notices something...
Satoru is turning into a curse...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The fight was over. Mahito was excorcised by Utahime. But Suguru was nowhere to be seen.
Had Satoru defeat him? Her eyes immediately searched for the white-haired man.
And there he was, lying unconscious on the ground.

"Satoru!" Full of worry, she rushed to him, not even paying attention to where she was stepping.
As she approached him, her heart stopped. Were those traces of blood on his shirt?
She lifted his head and placed it on her lap. "Can you hear me?"

The great sorcerer opened his eyes with difficulty.
"Uta-hime..." A cheerful smile immediately spread across his face.

"Satoru! Oh thankfully, you're alive! I was afraid that your soul..."

"You're ok." Reliefed and exhausted, he closed his eyelids again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." *Even now he's worried about me?*
"Are you hurt, Satoru? What happened to you earlier?"

"I'm... I'm poisoned." His hand twitched. "My body's all numb."

"Then we need to get you to a doctor right away." *But how? We're in the middle of nowhere. Who knows if there's a medical station within my reach.*

Like he had read her mind, Satoru smile while he tried to breath.
"It's... It's ok- Utahime..." His eyes sparkled with happiness.

"Tell me what to do!"

Satoru chuckled strainedly and reached his hand out to her. She immediately grabbed his hand.
"Always have a smile... on your lips..." He whispered.

At his words, her eyes filled with tears, immediately.
"What's that supposed to mean, you moron!" Her lips trembled.
She sobbed desperately as Satoru's eyes slowly closed.

"SATORU!" His hand let go of hers and bounced to the ground.
Instantly, a terrible pain filled Utahime's heart. More tears filled her eyes.
"WAKE UP!" She shook his face. "ARE YOU DEAF?"

No matter how much she shook his body, he just wouldn't move.

Utahime began to cry loudly as she shouted to him.
"SATORU, WAKE UP! PLEASE!"
Desperately, she let her head fall down his chest, crying. Her tears dripped continuously onto Satoru's motionless body, soaking the light-colored fabric of his shirt.
"Please!"

Were they doomed to lose people just when they let them into their hearts? To prevent this she had protected herself from such feelings all these years. And now it was happening after all.
Was this a curse? Just as Sleeping Beauty could not be prevented from being stung by the poisonous spindle, Utahime would be inevitably and fatally stung by the thorns of love.

Their beautiful memories flashed through her mind right now. How he had teased her, how they had laughed together, their dancing... his eyes... his smile...
If only they hadn't wasted their time with pointless games. Maybe now they would be...

"Please, Satoru."
Utahime could still feel his heart beating. But his pulse was far too weak.
She still lay on his chest and clung to him, because it felt like he could die at any moment as soon as she let go of him.
Her whole body trembled. "I... I wanted... to see the joy in your eyes."
Sobbing, she cried desperately on Satoru's chest and snuggled against his neck.

"The joy of what?" His voice didn't sound like he was hurt at all.

Utahime immediately raised her head from his chest and let go of him.
One last tear dripped from her cheek as she stared at him in confusion.
"You were... unconscious."

Satoru stood up, safe and sound.
"Thanks to your pleading, I was spared. I'm fit as a fiddle again!"

Utahime pressed her lips together angrily and stood up.
"You were bullshiting me?"

"I haven't really teased you for so long, something's built up."
The tears in Utahime's angry eyes didn't stop Satoru from laughing out loud.

To punish him, she pushed him with all her strength, causing him to lose his balance slightly, which only made him laugh even harder.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" she yelled angrily as loud as she could, slapping him with every word she said.
"I- THOUGHT- YOU- WOULD- DIE! YOU- IDIOT! MORON!"
She got tears in her eyes again.

"Ow. Don't hit me so hard." He said, still laughing.
"It's all right. Hey, hey." He held her wrists. "I have deserved it, I know."
Now Utahime was crying all the more. So he put his chin on her head and stroked her hair to calm her down.
"It's all right. I'm ok. See?"

Annoyed, she pushed away from him. "Don't you ever do this again!" She said sternly.

He stared intensely into her eyes.
"Didn't you want to tell me... something important?" he whispered seductively.
Utahime's angry look almost drove him crazy and increased his lust all the more.

"No." She said sternly. "I have nothing to tell you!"
She wanted to break away from him completely, but he held her back close to his body.
Utahime gasped and pressed her hands against Satoru's chest.

"Utahime... Don't run away from me anymore..."

His soft voice gave her goosebumps.
Unconsciously, her eyes fell on his lips and she exhaled shakily.
"Let go of me." This time she sounded more pleased than angry.

He took her hand and placed it flat on his chest.
"Can you feel it? Beating so wildly only for you."

Utahime's chest moved with every breath she took.

"I can't... go on living without your love no longer."
He spoke it out! That increased his excitement. No turning back now.

Shakily and desperately, she whispered his name. "Satoru..."

"Shhh..."
He held Utahime very gently by her chin and approached her slowly to give her enough time,
but she didn't move. She just blinked, like she was just waiting for his next move.
Satoru couldn't stand it any longer. So he took a deep breath and pressed a passionate kiss to her soft lips.
He kissed her. Full of desire. After so many years. At last he knew what her beautiful lips felt like.
How would she react? What would she say? He let her go and gazed intensely into her eyes.

She could see that he wanted more, like he was drowning in his desire.
Utahime's gaze fell on his inviting lips. She hadn't had enough either.
Not waiting a moment longer, she grabbed him by his soft hair and kissed him more passionately than before.

So this was what the fire of love felt like. They both wanted to burn in it.
Again and again their lips parted and reunited in that fire.
Utahime pressed him so tightly to her face that Satoru almost thought his lips would bleed.
But it was a wonderful feeling. A liberating feeling.
For the first time, he allowed someone to get so close to him, so close that it hurt.
It felt human. It felt good not to be untouchable, not to be a god.
For far too long, he had used his infinity to protect not only his body from attack, but also his heart. At last he was defenceless. At last, the invisible wall between him and love fell down.
Ironically, thanks to Sukuna.

Breathlessly, he pushed her away from him and shakily whispered her name.
"Utahime..."

She tried to breathe calmly again, but her voice was also trembling with desire.
"Yes?"

He stroked her cheek lovingly. His eyes flitted with excitement.
"I love you."
Saying that felt like the seal on his heart had been broken.

Utahime smiled sheepishly.
She didn't realize that Satoru was holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
"I think I've fallen in love with you, too."
There it was... in his blue eyes. The joy... to be loved by her.
And only in his eyes, and no one else's, she ever wanted to see it.

Satoru suddenly laughed out loud, full of joy, and took her in his arms.

"Aaah! Satoru!" She laughed out loud, too. "Put me down!"

"Nope!" He took her upside down over his shoulder.

She cried out as she laughed and held onto his back.
"You're going to drop me!"

"What's wrong? Are you afraid of heights?"

"Asks the giant."

Laughing, he slowly lowered her down, making Utahime giggle.
"So... may I take you out?"

She smiled. "Yes. I'd love to."

At last! Satoru's face beamed with happiness.

Suddenly Utahime grinned cheekily.
"First one down!" she shouted and ran down the slope at the rice terraces.

"Hey!" Satoru laughed and tried to catch up with her. "You're not going to win!"

"We'll see!"

Satoru had successfully made Utahime believe that nothing had happened to him,
just so she wouldn't have to worry. The truth was somewhat different.
Suguru's assumption had been correct. In fact, Satoru's soul had split, almost turning him into a powerful curse. Even stronger than Sukuna. And that had not only caused all of Satoru's pain, but also Suguru's true feelings. He finally realized what he was about to lose.
His only friend.
He could no longer fool himself.
Hadn't he teleported them to this place because Satoru had asked him to?
To spare the people in the mall and Utahime?
Thankfully, he finally admitted to Satoru what he truly felt.

"I never hated you. Or Shoko. I never stopped loving both of you!"
Suguru shouted as loud as he could.
"I JUST WANTED TO PREVENT MY FRIENDS FROM DYING BECAUSE OF THOSE FUCKING MONKEYS!"

Friends...
Suddenly, Satoru heard Shoko's voice.
You're the only friend I have left...

And Utahime's voice...
I couldn't let anything happen to you...

Yuji's voice... I'm so glad you're here, Satoru...

There was a reason, no several reasons, to go on living. To remain human.
To remain Satoru. He had never been alone.
Slowly he came back to the ground. His rage stopped and what remained was the Satoru,
he always should have been. Vulnerable, emotional, human and yet strong.

Suguru ran as fast as he could to his friend.
He pressed his hand to Satoru's chest, hoping to remove the poison from his body.
"What have I done?"

Satoru could barely keep his eyes open, yet he smiled.
"Suguru... I..."

"We'll meet again," Suguru whispered, leaving him half passed out, as he heared Utahime coming over to them, in hope that he could heal Satoru.

A smile spread across Satoru's face as his eyes slowly drifted shut.
Suguru would come back to him... He had promised...
Then he heard Utahime's voice. But he felt far too weak to move.
The poison was still coursing through his body. Would he die now?

Of course Satoru and Utahime expected an explanation for the incident in the hotel.
So Ando Kimura had arranged a meeting for later. But first they would all get some rest.
Their rooms were still ready for them.
And Satoru had barely made it to his room before he was finally able to call Shoko.
She answered his call immediately after what Utahime had told her about Satoru being in danger. But what Satoru told her almost shocked her more.

"WHAT? You almost became a curse?"

"Yes. And my soul was probably only able to heal because my fight against Suguru reopened such a deep wound in me that I could no longer suppress the pain."

"In this state between human and curse, that might be possible, yes."

"It felt really incredible. Like I was... high or something."

"You'll have to tell me more about that. When you will be in Tokyo?"

"Uh, well... I..." Satoru couldn't suppress a grin.
"...won't be there until a few days later. If that's okay?"

"Why later?" A smile spread across Shoko's face. "You're giggling! What's going on?"

"She told me she loves me."

Shoko laughed with joy.
"Aaah! What did I tell you? Did you two kiss? Tell me!"

Satoru grinned broadly with pride. "Yes, we did."

She giggled. "Just once?"

"Okay, that's enough. This is embarrassing."

Shoko pouted in offense. "But I'm your best friend."

Satoru had to grin again.
"All right, then." His eyes fell on Utahime's gift.
So it wasn't a 'Sorry I don't return your feelings'-teddy after all.

Utahime and Satoru sat facing Ando in his office.

"So Suguru Geto was blackmailing you from the start?" Satoru asked.

"Exactly."

"How could Mr. Gaguganji have endangered our academy so much?"

"Well... Desperation is blind, darling," Satoru said proudly.

Utahime cleared her throat. She hadn't expected Satoru to address her as darling, next to Mr. Kimura, too.

Ando licked his lower lip in annoyance. "At least I have nothing to do with all this.
I've always ensured Utahime's safety. Nothing more."

The silence from both men brought a blush to Utahime's cheeks.
Her heart quivered with slight panic.

"Well, I don't care who the culprit is, honestly."
Satoru stood up and Utahime followed him.
"The jujutsu academy will take care of it."

Ando ran a few steps after her.
"Utahime..."

She turned back to him. "Yes?"

"May I speak to you alone for a moment?"

"I'll go ahead." Satoru said. Even though his heart was pounding with humiliation,
Utahime's decision should not be based on him.

"No. No need," Utahime said to Satoru's relief.
"We've discussed everything."

Disappointed, Ando smiled.
"As you wish. Oh, I... have something for you two."
He handed Utahime an envelope.

She took out the contents. It was a photo from the ball.
"Oh."

Satoru also took a curious look at the photo. "Ah, thank you."

"You asked for it, Satoru." Ando said.

She smiled.
"That... is really a nice picture. Thank you."
Her eyes rested on the white-haired man in the photo who was dancing with her.
How handsome Satoru looked in the picture and how beautifully he was smiling. She had spoiled that smile that evening. She had hurt him. Just because she had been afraid of falling in love with him. If it hadn't already happened by then.

On the train on the way to Kyoto.

Satoru grinned broadly as he looked at the photo.

"The picture turned out really pretty," Utahime said.

"That's because they're beautiful in the picture."

She grinned. "Hmm... really?"

"Yes. This couple behind us... they look really great."

She had to laugh.

"No, no shit, we look really good in the picture. And pretty sexy..."

She giggled. "You know what I think is sexy?"

"What?"

"That you trust me when it comes to other men."

He smiled proudly. "Sure. You'd already know what to say."

Utahime smiled as well. "I didn't want Ando to think he had a chance with me.
That would have been unfair to both of you."

A satisfied smile stretched across Satoru's lips.
"But cool of him to give us the photo, even though he's obviously interested in you.
A gesture like that takes a lot of self-control. Not everyone can do that."

"I know someone else being like that," Utahime said, smiling at her lover to flatter him.

Satisfied, she leaned her head on Satoru's shoulder and looked out the window at the fields whizzing by.
This time it didn't feel like she was leaving something behind, because Satoru was beside her.

Notes:

I reallly enjoyed writing this chapter. You can imagine why^^ I'm so so in love with the dynamics of this couple 333

And the upcoming chapter will reveal more of Gojo's life and also his dark past ;)

Thank you so much for reading 3

Chapter 19: The lie that turned into the truth

Chapter Text

Even if Utahime liked a man, she wouldn't bring him straight to her house. So while Satoru was in Kyoto, he stayed at the Kyoto Jujutsu Academy. And now, after recovering from their mission, they would finally meet for their first date.
Utahime excitedly ran to the guest rooms to pick up Satoru, who opened the door for her with a warm smile and placed a loving kiss on her cheek.

"Satoru..." He looked at her questioningly.
"But we... don't have to go out today. I would understand if you want to get over the thing with Suguru first."

Satoru couldn't hide a happy smile.
"I'm fine Utahime, trust me. That's sorted out."

"Sorted out? How?"

"That's my little secret. For now. I just want to think about you today."

Utahime smiled deeply. "Ok then. But if you need me. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Uta." He chuckled.
"Your grandmother will be happy when she hears we're actually dating."

"Yes. Finally I can be spared these applicants, too."

"Applicant? Like you were an object that is being put up for sale."

"Yes, exactly! That's why our lie actually came in handy."
Utahime had always been annoyed that Satoru never followed their traditions.
But this also made him modern in his way of thinking. That was very attractive.

Satoru giggled. "Well... then I'm glad I could spare you the whole thing."

There was a beautiful, quiet park where Utahime enjoyed walking.
Couples liked to come here, so there were no curses in such a place.
But that wasn't why she chose this park in particular. It was a special place for her.
Holding hands, they walked past beautiful flower arrangements.

"And this time, I'm not alone here." She said.

"A woman like you shouldn't be left alone." Satoru kissed her on the cheek.
"So you've never been in a relationship before?"

"No. That's why I would... well, you know, wait."

"I see. I've been in love with you for a long time, so it wouldn't be too soon for me."

Knowing that Satoru was ready to sleep with her made her blush a little.
"Of course that doesn't mean I don't want to..."

Satoru grinned. "I'm not surprised, when I think about how you kissed me yesterday..."

"Satoru!" Utahime giggled.

He chuckled, too. "In a serious relationship, I don't rush into things like that.
Of course I can wait."

"So you have been in a relationship?"

Satoru hesitated a little. He pulled her by the hand and sat on a bench.
"Well, not in any binding way." The disappointment in her eyes made him explain.
"A committed relationship felt wrong while I was in love with you, you know?"

Utahime blinked in amazement. "You've been into me even then?"

"I didn't really know at that time. I kinda..."
He shrugged his shoulder. "...suppressed my feelings."

Just like Satoru, she had been afraid of getting hurt all this time.

"And when did you fall in love with me?" Satoru asked.

"Actually... when we met."

Satoru turned to her in surprise.
"Not true!"

"Really." She laughed. "But only until you screw it up."

"How stupid of me. It's only because of my fears that we-"

She put her finger on his lips.
"Shhh... We're together now. That's all that matters."

"I'm finally allowed to kiss you." And he did.

The evening, after she said goodbye to Satoru, Utahime went to visit her family.
While drinking tea, she gave them the good news that the murderer in their village had been caught, although she didn't know exactly, what happened to Suguru. Of course she left out the Jujutsu part.

"But still you can stay with us, father." Yoko poured tea for her parents-in-law.

"My daughter, I really prefer to stay here. I can't stand that marriage-nonsense with Utahime and that boy."

Utahime's heart trembled in panic. "I thought you liked Satoru, Grandpa."

"It has nothing to do with me liking the boy, my little girl."

"I thought that lie was nonsense from the start." Utahime's father looked at her sternly.
"Let's at least say you guys broke up."

Utahime scratched her cheek nervously.
"Well... we don't need to anymore because... Satoru and me, well, we're dating."

Utahime's father raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Her grandmother clapped her hands with joy.
"My granddaughter has finally found a husband."

Utahime smiled. "I knew you would be happy. But, Grandma... It's far too early for a marriage."

"Utahime is right, mother. We still have to get to know the boy."

"Yeah, Satoru wanted to see Grandma and Grandpa again anyway."

"Ah, my little angel. I missed him, too."

Utahime smiled deeply.

Yoko turned to her daughter.
"I wish you both the best, sweetheart."

She smiled. "Thank you, mom."

Utahime had asked Satoru to stay for the whole week, but his examination with Shoko was long overdue and he couldn't stall Master Yaga any longer. Besides, he didn't want his students waiting for him any longer, so they only got two days left before Satoru went back to Tokyo.
But in the academy, they didn't have privacy at all. Whenever they tried to get closer, someone walked past them and Utahime didn't dare going to Satoru's room in the academy. That would be scandalous if someone saw them there.

Utahime sighed sadly.
"I don't want to go home yet. But I can't stay here any longer."

"I still want to be with you, too," Satoru whispered.

His seductive voice let Utahime wanting to get closer to him. Closer than ever.
She bit her bottom lip.
"Still no...?"

"No sex. Promise."

Not only his lustful whisper revealed him, Utahime also saw his desire in his eyes.
Nevertheless, she grabbed his hand and led her out of the academy...

Utahime opened her door to Satoru.
The soft click of the door made her heart stop for a moment. She couldn't believe she was letting in a man into her apartment. Into her privacy. She clearly felt Satoru's energy behind her, giving her a tingling sensation on her back.

"Is it really okay for me to be at yours?" He asked her as she took his jacket from him.
Satoru only received a shy nod in response.
How could a woman who could kill with her gaze look so innocent?
He thought it was cute that even making out made her nervous.
"Utahime... You know I'll only go as far as you let me."

"You don't have to be so considerate of me. I know what I want."
She led him by his hand backwards into her living room.

Satoru grinned proudly while Utahime rolled up his shirt a little.
Nevertheless, he hadn't expected her lips on his chest, and she gently stroked his upper body with her thin fingers. He breathed out shakily and with pleasure, whispering her name pleadingly.
"Utahime..."

"Shhh..."

Utahime allowed herself not to listen to his pleas. Although she was sure he liked that.
And that was true. This torment of being at her mercy made him burn endlessly in the fire of love. That's exactly how he had always imagined Utahime - possessive yet fearful, seductive yet shy, angry yet sweet. And he loved that even though she was a few years older than him, she was still intimidated by him.
He closed his eyes with desire as Utahime gave him tiny kisses on his chest and neck, for which she had to stand on her tiptoes, cause he was so tall. And she loved that.

Utahime listened to his shaky, lustful breathing. She felt his muscles shivering under her touch and she liked that she was moving him.
That's when Satoru grabbed Utahime by her hips and lifted her up. Out of reflex, Utahime wrapped her legs around Satoru's body and received his fiery kiss, while he carefully laid Utahime down on the couch and continued kissing her. On her neck, on her hair, on her chin... she was so beautiful.
He had kept that fire in him for so long. And Utahime's moan only increased his desire.
But he held back from undressing her. It would be too early for her, he thought. Even though he wanted to sleep with her so much. And he had judged her correctly. Utahime really liked that they could get passionate without ending up in bed right away.

After they calmed down, Satoru snuggled into the crook of her neck like a kitten and rested his head on her chest, which made Utahime put her hand on his hair and play with them gently.
How soft his hair was!
"You really look like an angel to me."

Satoru grinned widely. "So I guessed it right?"

Utahime leaned over to his face and kissed his little nose while they were still cuddling.
That made him giggle.
"Yes, you did."

"I didn't know it gave you goosebumps when someone plays with your hair."
Satoru said.

"Didn't your mother ever do it when you were a child?"

His blood ran cold at the word mother.
He opened his lips but he couldn't say anything.

Utahime bit her lip knowingly as his silence already gave her the answer.
No one had ever stroked his hair before? Not even one of his 'girlfriends'?
This broke Utahime's heart.
"Well, I love playing with your hair. It's so soft."

With a satisfied smile, Satoru snuggled closer to Utahime.
"That's so nice to know."
He suddenly felt so comfortable and so protected in her arms. It felt like home.
That was the most wonderful feeling for him. But they couldn't be completely familiar unless she knew everything about him. Otherwise, Utahime would constantly feel responsible for his pain over little things, like she did right now, even if she couldn't have known about his mother.
So she should know.
"Utahime..."

"Yes?"

He was still lying on her chest. He needed her close now. More than ever before.
"Please don't feel bad now. I'm really just telling you this so you don't overthink everything you say to me."

Utahime continued to play with his hair.
"I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have to. You have the right to know what kind of family I had."
Satoru paused before continuing.

Utahime's heart pounded in her throat. She hoped her heart could bear his story.

But no matter what it was... she wanted to know what had led to him protecting his heart so much all these years.
She suddenly remembered something Satoru said during his torture. Something about his mother. Mom... it hurts...
What if... Utahime felt sick. At that time, she had understood it differently.

"Did you know that in the Gojo-clan, I was the first in four hundred years to possess the sixth eye and infinite curse energy?"

What made him the strongest sorcerer and become his downfall?
"I knew this ability from the Gojo-Clan was rare. Yes."

"My parents literally bragged about me, showing what an important sorcerer family we were.
I was a kind of trophy, especially for my mother. She tried to turn me into a sorcerer worthy of the Gojo-clan, and being loved by my own mother probably wasn't a part of that path."

Utahime knew it would be worse than she thought. She listened to him quietly.

"Once I injured my leg because I fell off my bike. I must have been very young, I remember, I didn't know my private teacher back then. Nevertheless, I remember the moment clearly. Of course, I ran crying to my mother, believing she would comfort me. But instead of holding me lovingly in her arms... she slapped my face and said I was a disgrace to the Gojos. I shouldn't cry over such a small thing."

Utahime's heart tightened at that thought. How could someone break your own child's heart over something like that? That was cruel.
"Satoru..." She snuggled closer to him.

"I still don't know why he did it, but after my father took his own life, my mother became even worse. She..."
Satoru could barely hold back his tears as he remembered.
"Every time I couldn't get a technique right...she cut my arm and..."
His throat was tight with sobs and he could no longer make a sound.

"Shhh... I'm here..." She stroked his hair while he cried quietly in her arms.
Her neck became wet with his tears and her own.
"I'm really sorry, baby... I... didn't know all that."

"It's okay, my love, how could you have known?" Satoru wiped his tears.
"You're the first person I've ever told."

"For real? Not even Shoko?"

Satoru shook his head in her arms. "No, I didn't. I would have felt weak, when I confessed all of this to myself. That's why I couldn't bear to be pitied."

"Admitting your pain and accepting it is true strength, Satoru. If a person can keep his good heart despite so much suffering and still have a smile on his face, it is only because he is infinitely strong. You are such a strong man. And not because of your infinite curse power."

*Infinite strength... That's what Shoko meant by allowing my feelings.*
„Thank you, baby." Satoru breathed a sigh of relief. "Wow. That… really felt good."

"See? You should not suppress your feelings anymore. And when you're in Tokyo, you start your therapy, immediately. Ok?"

"Promise."

She kissed him on his forehead. She wanted to never let him go.
His gaze moved her heart like no other before. He was so careful but at the same time full of passion. He was confident, intimidating and at the same time he was so cute and wanted to be protected. He made her feel irresistible and that she was worth everything.
But above all... he was worth everything to her.

Now that Satoru had cried everything out, he could talk more about his childhood without bursting into tears. Utahime also told him in what a sexist environment she was raised and how difficult it was for her to develop self-confidence, even though her family was so loving. The fact that something like this could happen even in a loving family broke Satoru's heart.
And he hated that his teasing had been the cherry on top.

So they lay on the couch for a while until the night.
Satoru looked at the clock without raising his head from Utahime's lap.
"It's that late? I should go."

"I don't want you to go."

Satoru turned slightly to Utahime and stared at her in surprise.

"Would you sleep on the couch?"

He smiled. "Yeah, sure. As long as I'm with you."

A satisfied grin stretched across her lips. She kissed his temple and breathed in his scent.

Satoru was glad that she gave him the chance to prove to her that she could trust him. And he trusted her like noone before. He hadn't opened up so much to anyone else. He hoped, that it wasn't too naive to fall into such a feeling now.

Chapter 20: Unanswered questions

Chapter Text

The scent of sweet dough woke Satoru from his dream to the even sweeter reality and lured him to the kitchen. And there was Utahime at the stove, who hurried to him when she saw him at the door and sqeezed a fleeting kiss on his cheek, making him smile.

Satoru gasped out of suprise, with the happiness of a little child.
"You've made pancakes?"

Utahime smiled. "I knew it would make you happy."

He hugged her from her back and pressed a kiss to her cheek as well.
Her scent was incredibly tempting.
"Or should I eat you instead?"

She giggled. "Damn, my distraction didn't work."

Satoru laughed and helped Utahime set the table.

"I told my grandmother about us."

Satoru chuckled. "Was she happy to hear?"

"Sure, she was."

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
"How cute. Then I'll see them again after all."

Utahime thought it was really nice that Satoru had taken her grandparents so much to his heart. But she knew why it was so easy for him. He missed or even never had the feeling of having a family and had found that with her grandparents. Although her grandmother always managed to make everyone feel that way. She was so nice and motherly.
Nevertheless, she tried not to feel too sorry for him. Satoru wouldn't want that.
Then she remembered. Her parents really wanted to meet the man who was dating their daughter. But she talked her parents out of it until she asked Satoru. Maybe it was still too early for him, she thought. They weren't officially together yet. But that didn't seem to be the problem.

"Quite the opposite. I would love to meet your parents, but..."

"What is it, sweetheart?" Utahime asked.

"My mistakes keep getting in my way. Now, you have to think about how you're going to explain to your family that you're dating the guy who hurt you for years."

She kissed him on his lips.
"It was just our fears that made us do things we didn't want to do."

"I just don't want to keep remembering what a jerk I was to you."

She stroked his cheek again.
"You weren't a jerk. You need to forgive yourself. And don't worry. They'll love you."

He looked gratefully into her eyes and kissed her hand.
But Satoru was right. Somehow she had to explain to her parents why she was going out with this 'moron' who had annoyed her all these years. She should tell them before they met.

Utahime's parents owned a modest but respectable house a little far from the center of town. When Utahime rang the doorbell, Satoru's heart almost stopped with excitement. But the warm smile of the beautiful woman, probably Utahime's mother, immediately put him at ease.
Utahime definitely got her grace and beauty from her mother Yoko.

"Come in, kids. Welcome."

Just as Utahime had warned Satoru, her father's seriousness was truly intimidating.
Satoru had never cared about his elders' opinion of him. But Utahime's family would hopefully become his family some day. So that cheeky, carefree Satoru in him suddenly disappeared.
That's why he didn't forget to bow this time.

"I knew you liked my granddaughter. I noticed that straight away."

Satoru had to chuckle.
"I was hoping it wasn't so obvious."

Utahime's cheeks flushed a little. Just as her grandmother mentioned it, Satoru had always given signs, which Utahime had suppressed in order to ignore his feelings for her.

After everyone took a seat, Utahime served the tea. Satoru simply couldn't take his eyes off her as she handed him his cup, which she answered with a shy smile.
Of course, Utahime's parents in particular asked Satoru a few questions to get to know him better.
But Satoru was not mentally prepared for the next question.

"And what does your father do?", Takeshi asked.

Satoru's heart stopped for a moment.
"My... father?"

"Uuh... daddy... Satoru comes from a very prestigious family."

Even though everyone seemed impressed, Utahime changed the subject for Satoru, and he was very grateful for that. She made sure they chatted about everyday things. It also lightened the atmosphere a little.

And just when Satoru used the bathroom, Utahime took the opportunity to enlighten her parents.
"Please don't ask Satoru any more questions about his family. He... had a difficult childhood."

The father fell silent.

Yoko put her hand on her chest pitifully.
"I'm really sorry for the boy."

"My poor angel." Her Grandmother said.

Utahime's father, however, could no longer stand to avoid the subject.
"Still, he must prove that he is worthy of Utahime and will not hurt her again."

"Of course he won't, father."

"At least he seems like a decent boy," he added to her relief.

When Satoru returned, the grandfather patted the seat next to him.
"Come sit here. We men are going to have a talk."
As the eldest of the Iori family, it was his right to take on this task.

"Yasu. Stop scaring the boy."

"We just want to talk, mother," Takeshi said.

Satoru looked at Utahime in despair and sat down with her grandfather after all.
The ladies retired to the kitchen. Utahime only hoped her grandfather wouldn't be too strict with Satoru.
The white-haired young man gave his full attention to the elderly man sitting in front of him. Utahime's father sat down next to Satoru and listened to the two of them.

"I'm going to ask you very important questions and you have to answer them all correctly."

The young man nodded.

"What is Utahime's favorite food?"

*Huh? That's his important question? Fuck, I don't know.*
"Uhh... rice balls?"

"Her favorite color? And where has she always wanted to travel to?"

"Uhm... I'm afraid, I don't know."

"And does she like to walk at sunrise or sunset?"

A drop of sweat gathered at his temple.
"To be honest, I thought she liked walking in the rain..."

"What's her favorite sport?"

"Baseball!"

"And does she like salmon?"

"I think she does. Well, I like salmon sushi best."

"Tell me, what do you like about Utahime? Why did you fall in love with her?"

Takeshi cleared his throat. "Father..."

That made Satoru's cheeks flush even more.
"Uhh... I... I don't know if I should answer that question in front of you."

"That's all right. I did ask you."

He thought about it and suddenly smiled.
His already sparkling eyes shone even brighter now as he thought of her.
"When I first saw her... she gave an impression of a kind-hearted person. And she seemed so... innocent and lonely, just like me."
And beautiful. But Satoru really didn't dare to say that outloud.

"You passed."

"Yeah, really?" Satoru laughed so from the heart.

"I don't think much of men who know everything about their wife inside out. That's not love. That's obsession. But you answered the only important question correctly, the reason you fell in love with her. That's why I think you really love our Utahime."

Satoru grinned proudly.
"I'm really pleased about that, grandpa."

"I have a question, though."

Satoru turned to Utahime's father.
"Of course."

"Why...?"

Satoru already guessed what the man was getting at.

"I just want to understand... what you had against my daughter?"

"I loved her too much."

Takeshi didn't quite understand. That was contradictory.

"So much that it scared me. I couldn't bear to lose her. I'm sure you know what Utahime and I had to go through in our work."
And by that he meant the burden of the sorcerers. Utahime had told him that her father knew.

"I understand," Takeshi said. "I have nothing else to ask."

Just then, the women came back into the living room.

"And my boy? You're still in whole pieces?" The grandmother laughed.

Everyone had to giggle.

"And father?"

The man smiled with conviction. "So Utahime, you have my blessing.

"Mine, too."

She bowed deeply.
"Thank you very much, dad... grandpa... This means a lot to us."

Satoru also expressed his deep gratitude.

The old man pointed to the white-haired man with a smile.
"This boy is in love with you from head to toe. You can see that in his eyes when he talks about you."

Satoru smiled shyly. "I guess I am."

Utahime couldn't help but smile as well and looked at her lover with happiness.
After they had dinner together and chatted, it was time for Satoru to go to the academy to get his last things, as he would be staying with Utahime until his departure, which of course they had kept from Utahime's parents.

"Thank you so much for everything. This has been a wonderful evening," Satoru said with a humble bow.

"You're very welcome, Satoru." Utahime's mother said with a beaming smile, which she received back from her future son-in-law.

Utahime also said goodbye to her parents while Satoru was still talking to her grandmother.

She hugged her father.
"Thank you all for making Satoru feel like part of the family. It really means a lot to him", she whispered so Satoru couldn't hear her.

"Of course, honey", her mother said.

The father smiled proudly. "You made a good choice, dear."

She smiled.

On the way, Utahime and Satoru talked about the meeting.
"I knew they would love you."

"Thank you, Uta. I like your parents too, though."

"I'm glad to hear that, baby. I'll see you later?"

Satoru kissed her fleetingly on the lips.
"Yeah. I don't have much to pack." He laughed a little.
"I hope I won't run into the old geezer."

But of all people, principal Gaguganji ran into him at the entrance to the academy.

"Surprised I'm still alive, old bastard?" And the sneer on Satoru's face.
Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't missed this geezer after all.

Gaguganji stared at him annoyed as always.

"Your end is near. I'm going to pull the rug out from under you."

"Make sure you don't get yourself wrecked in the process, you snot."

"I won't, don't worry!" Satoru yelled after him.
His heart stopped. That golden-blue robe behind the window...
He ran in that direction. Was that...
"Suguru?"
So he kept his promise they would meet again after all...

Their only four days had passed far too quickly. But Satoru's check-up with Shoko was long overdue and he couldn't keep Master Yaga waiting any longer either. Besides, Yuji pressured him to come back to Tokyo finally.
And now it was time to say goodbye for now. Satoru almost regretted his decision to go back to Tokyo today, but sooner or later this day had to come.
As a small consolation for their separation, Satoru had git him a mango smoothie and Utahime accompanied him to his train that would take him away from her.

"I'll come and see you in Tokyo as soon as possible," she promised.

Satoru wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."
They kissed one last time. In a few minutes, Satoru's train would leave for Tokyo.
"Don't forget your smoothie," she said in a shaky voice and pressed his mango smoothie into his hand.

"Hey, cheer up. We'll see each other again soon."

"You're about to cry, too." She wiped away a tear.

Satoru opened his arms. "Come here."

And Utahime immediately snuggled up to him.
"Call me when you arrive in Tokyo, okay?"

"I will." He kissed her on the hair and squeezed Utahime a little tighter before he let go of her.
It was so hard. "Take care of yourself, Uta."

She nodded and tried to smile as Satoru picked up his suitcase and walked to the train.
They waved to each other until Satoru had boarded.
And as soon as the train had left, her tears ran uncontrollably down her cheeks.
Because suddenly it became so quiet. The strange silence that fell drowned out even the noise at the station and suddenly she felt empty. She had gotten so used to Satoru and now everything felt so halfway without him.
And she didn't know when she could take time off to visit him in Tokyo, as they were always short-staffed as sorcerers. But just as Utahime thought about it, that wasn't the reason for her tears.
She could have almost lost him once. And if she couldn't feel him, when he wasn't beside her, that feeling intensified.
But she had to trust him. They would see each other again soon, he had said.
She hoped that 'soon' wasn't too far away.

Satoru really didn't stay at home for long. He put his things down and hurried outside.
He was lucky, Shoko had time for him and they arranged to meet immediately.
She couldn't wait to meet him either, especially after what had happened.

"I'm glad your block has now been removed. But don't think you can suppress your feelings again," Shoko warned her friend as they enjoyed their coffee in a small shop.

Satoru nodded as he stirred the dark drink.
"I know, Shoki-chan. I won't either."

"So, what is it that you didn't want to tell me on the phone?"

He pulled out a beautiful piece of jewelry from his pants pocket.
A metallic hair clip in the shape of a dragonfly, studded with tiny pearls, and handed it to his friend before his tear spread across the metallic surface.

"I want you to give this to Shoko."
Satoru remembered Suguru telling him when they met at the Kyoto Academy yesterday.
"It wasn't foolish... to love." He had said.
So Suguru had also sealed his love in his heart all these years.
And now Satoru saw the same love in Shoko's eyes.

She ran her thumb over the small beads of the hair clip.
„Do you know what a dragonfly stands for, Suguru?" She once asked him.
... Happiness... Have you ever... considered someone to be your great happiness? Someone who has a special place in your heart?"
Back then, Suguru didn't answer to her question.
Tears immediately filled her brown eyes.
"Does that mean he's..."

"He's alive."

A happy smile spread across her lips. And still she cried.
"Thank you, Satoru."

"For what?"

"For not taking away my best friends."

Satoru's eyes filled with tears. He opened his arms to her.
"Come here."

Shoko immediately threw herself into his arms, crying.
"I love you."

"I love you too, Shoko."

And now that Shoko had to get back to work, he could finally meet his beloved students.
Yuji was dying to see him again. But he was unsure about Megumi.

"Finally we can eat sushi again, yo."
Yuji complained as he stuffed another nigiri into his mouth like he hadn't eaten in days.

Satoru smiled. "Well, it's only half as much fun without sensei, isn't it?"

"He just doesn't want to pay," Megumi said coldly.
You'd think he didn't care about Satoru's feelings.

"Speak for yourself, Megumi. I only trust Satoru's taste. Your restaurants suck."

Satoru had to laugh. "I really missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Satoru."

"Speak for yourself," Megumi said.

"You just don't want to admit it." The sensei grinned calmly.
No, he shouldn't suppress his feelings after all. He promised, also to himself.
So, as soon as he allowed the little but painful sting in his heart, his smile slowly disappeared.
"Did you really not miss me?"

"Not really. Why you're asking?"

At Satoru's silence, Yuji said something.
"Idiot." It was clear he meant Megumi.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to... hurt you or anything."

"It's okay, Megumi. I've been neglecting you all the time... distracting myself with my job from... everything. I'm sorry."

The boy blinked in surprise. Somehow his heart warmed in a long time.
"I was never angry with you. After all... you didn't have to do any of that and yet..."
This time he didn't move his head back and let Satoru tousle his dark hair.

"Don't even mention it, Megumi-chan." Satoru said.

"Don't call me that."

Satoru and Yuji stared at him in shock. Had Megumi really just smiled?

"Hey, do you guys want to chill at my house?" Satoru asked.

"Wow, really? Sure!"

Megumi shrugged his shoulders. "Fine."

Satoru didn't think Megumi wanted to appear uninterested. He was probably embarrassed to jump on Satoru's invitation straight away because he still had a guilty conscience. He probably didn't realize that the elders would always be more lenient with their younger ones, no matter how hurtful they were. They were a family after all.
And he was really glad that the boys would be coming with him. Otherwise the loneliness that awaited him at home could swallow him up like a grotesque curse.
He hadn't been used to this loneliness for a long time. Especially not now.