WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

51. Gojohime 4

no one is what they were before

ohmytheon

Summary:

The world broke when Gojo Satoru turned on jujutsu society. It's not the hopeful place it was before, but Utahime has never been one to give up. Until she's placed in a dangerous position directly in his path, and she finds herself trapped in a web that doesn't seem intent on ever letting her go.

Notes:

I woke up at 5 am, two hours before my alarm was set to go off for work, and instantly argued with my brain about this idea. And listen, I typically argue with my brain about rabid plots that appear out of nowhere in my brain, but I was deathly craving some dark Gojo with Utahime. Wait. Oh no... This is how my Villain Deku fic started out. Fuck.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

"Oh, I will be cruel to you, Marya Morevna. It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be. But you understand, don't you? You are clever enough. I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable. But I am your servant. When you starve I will feed you; when you are sick I will tend you. I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased. For you alone I will be weak."
― Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless

The moment those bright blue eyes landed on her, Utahime knew she was in trouble.

She skidded to a halt just a few feet before him, her heart skipping a beat under his gaze, but he stayed incredibly still, almost serene in a sense. It was foolish to think that way. Only danger could be written in the stars when he pulled the black band away from his eyes, and she could see it in them now. He must've seen the fear in her own eyes because the corners of his lips tugged upward into the facsimile of a smile.

"Hello, Utahime," he greeted, almost fondly. "It's been a while."

Utahime forced herself not to react, somehow keeping her voice steady. "Hello, Gojo."

As far as she was concerned, it hadn't been long enough. (Or maybe it had been too long, that old familiar yearning for him echoing traitorously in the back of her mind.) The last time she'd seen him, she hadn't been focused on the blue of his eyes so much as the red of blood everywhere. Why she had been one of the few spared was beyond her even to this day, but she was never given the chance to ask him.

She doubted he'd be so considerate a second time around.

Gojo tilted his head. "Did you miss me?"

Of course I missed you, her mind screamed.

Out loud, Utahime managed a simple, "No."

He laid a hand over his heart. "Still eager to shoot me down. And when I was so happy to see you again. How cruel."

Truth be told, she didn't think he actually cared. If he had, he wouldn't have left the way he did, leaving her nothing but devastation and a hole carved into her heart that felt the same size as the hole in the earth he'd created with his technique. Nothing had been the same since then. He was gone for so long, appearing randomly like a tornado of destruction only to vanish into thin air again. If he truly gave a damn about her, she didn't think he'd be here now.

After all, everyone knew that no one survived meeting Gojo Satoru. If a sorcerer crossed paths with him, they started counting down the last seconds of their life. Utahime wouldn't be foolish enough to think she was any different.

"What do you want?" Utahime asked tensely. It felt pointless, but other than keeping him talking, she didn't know what else to do. He'd always enjoyed talking. Maybe she was prolonging the inevitable, but she'd do anything before getting on her knees and waiting for him to end it.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Gojo said.

Utahime's fingers twitched at her side. "Come to mock me about how I'm still weak?"

"Well, you're certainly not strong enough to stand against me, especially on your own," Gojo pointed out with a laugh. For such a casual comment, his words struck her in the chest. No, of course she wasn't. She hadn't been strong enough back then and she definitely wasn't now. Compared to him, her growth was at a careful crawl, and even then, the higher-ups didn't expect much from her. No one did. The only reason she'd survived when so many others had died was sheer luck and maybe even pity on Gojo's end.

He preferred to kill the strongest, after all. Leaving her alive didn't affect him at all.

"Still following those idiots, I see," Gojo continued, sighing in disappointment. "I almost didn't come; it was too easy."

Utahime furrowed her brow. "What?"

"Oh? You didn't know?" Gojo took one step forward, and Utahime jumped back. That smile was at his lips again, but this time, it was cold. It didn't even come close to reaching his eyes. He'd smiled mockingly before he turned, but the current disconnect unsettled her. "They used you as bait to bring me out into the open. I'd call it clever if I hadn't anticipated it."

It was true that she didn't typically get assigned missions like this, but the sorcerer ranks were admittedly running ragged, so she'd assumed they had no other choice but to bring her on. Both Gojo and Geto had done a good job at thinning out society; their targets were mainly powerful and influential civilians or cities, but taking out the strongest jujutsu sorcerers was a part of the job as well. It didn't matter what Shoko did to repair their damage; she could only do so much with her reverse techniques, and Gojo didn't leave much behind to save.

If the higher-ups had really assigned her to this in an attempt to capture or kill Gojo, then they had signed her death certificate without even telling her, and she'd walked into it willingly.

Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. "If you knew, then why are you here?"

"I told you," Gojo replied. "I wanted to see you."

In another time, that might've made her heart flutter. She would've folded her arms across her chest, turned away from him, and insisted with blushing cheeks that she didn't care, but on the inside, she'd be giddy with excitement. Instead, she felt her heart sinking further, her stomach turning uncomfortably. When Gojo wanted to see people, it was never for a good reason. Megumi still wouldn't talk about the last time he crossed paths with him, and Utahime doubted she would be any different if he let her live.

Because that was the key point – if he let her live. He could erase her from existence with a simple snap of his fingers before she could even retaliate or scream.

"Is that it then?" Utahime asked, the shakiness in her voice betraying her. She tried to swallow down the fear, but that unsettled feeling sank into her bones. "You've seen me. You can leave now."

"No need to be so hasty," Gojo told her. "We've got some time to kill." His eyes flickered to the old house behind them. The windows were partially boarded up, the front door swinging open and banging against the wall in the wind. "The higher-ups didn't lie to you about a job, but I finished it for you."

Utahime startled, her eyes widening. "Gojo, you didn't–"

"Oh, come now, Utahime, you don't think I'm that much of a monster, do you?" Gojo teased. He waved a dismissive hand in the face of her horror. "Besides, Suguru is so soft when it comes to children. It might've been easier to kill the kids, but he was insistent on bringing them to our side. We couldn't let those bastards snatch up two potential special grade sorcerers and their pet curses."

Ah, then that meant Geto was here too – or least he had been at some point. For all she knew, Gojo had teleported them to wherever they were hiding and came back here when he'd sensed her curse energy. She'd gotten better about hiding it from other sorcerers, but there was only so much she could hide from him and his Six Eyes.

Gojo considered her, his expression going blank again. "You're afraid."

"Of course I'm–" Utahime bit her lip and reared back, her eyes dropping from him to the ground. It was a mistake to look away – god knows what he could do in a single second – but that old sense of humiliation crept back. He'd always known how to embarrass her or make her blurt whatever was on her mind. "You're not an...easy person to deal with, and your track record isn't exactly hopeful."

He took that moment of weakness to appear right in front of her. She jerked back, but then he caught her by the wrist, pulling her forward so that she crashed into his chest. Tilting her head back, she stared up at him, struggling not to shiver under the cold gaze of his. There was nothing in those eyes – absolutely nothing that she remembered, nothing she'd loathed and secretly adored. It frightened her more than his grip on her. He could probably feel her heart thumping madly with their chests pressed together.

"Let me prove you wrong," Gojo finally said.

The words were so unexpected that the fear swelling like a balloon popped, and she openly gawked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Come with me. I'll prove you don't have to be scared of me." Still holding her wrist with one hand, Gojo gently trailed a finger up her neck, resting it just underneath her chin. This time, Utahime couldn't fight back the urge to shiver, and she closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. There was no scent of blood, not like she last remembered on him when he let her go.

She swallowed, but it didn't help the constricting feeling in her throat. "I can't– I–"

"You're wasted on them," Gojo told her, leaning over so he could murmur into her ear. "They might have thought you important enough to use as bait for me, but they don't know the half of it. They don't know you ."

When she slowly opened her eyes, she found his face closer to hers now. His eyes were so beautiful even when cold, absolutely mesmerizing. She thought to look away but couldn't. Hell, she could barely breathe, and a part of her thought her pulse might've stopped in this moment. How many sorcerers got this close to him? He usually ripped them apart before they could even come close to laying a finger on him, their deaths so callous and impersonal.

This felt like anything but that.

"I can't do that," Utahime told him, even though she knew it might mean her death. People didn't just say know to Gojo Satoru. Who was she to defy him?

Afraid as she was of his reaction, he didn't seem angry. Disappointed, maybe. She caught a flicker of it on his face before he stood upright and let go of her wrist. He took a step back, a frown tugging at his lips, and she swallowed again. Her mouth was so dry. She couldn't read him at all. Was he going to kill her since she'd turned him down? Would he simply leave? She didn't know, and that minute of silence frightened her more than his hold on her.

"Suguru said you would make this difficult," Gojo sighed.

Utahime held onto her wrist. "Have things ever been easy between us?"

"No, you're right about that." Gojo tapped his finger against his cheek and then held out his hands in front of himself. She tensed but then furrowed her brow when he angled himself away from her. She was positive that he was about to unleash his technique, and while he could probably strike her even from that angle, it didn't make sense with him so close. "I didn't want it to come to this."

Without thinking, Utahime took a step forward, only stopping when he glanced back at her. "What are you doing?"

"You were bait, remember?" Gojo pointed out. "How many sorcerers do you think are out there, hm? How many do you think they spared to capture me?" Horror slowly encased Utahime as the terrible realization dawned upon her. The moment it did, Gojo smiled again, genuine humor glimmering on his face. "Enough to overwhelm me, definitely, but not enough that they won't lose their main force. That would be devastating."

Any sorcerer out there would be killed. She didn't care what plan they had. Behind that smile was a rage she hadn't caught onto before, something he'd been hiding just barely under the surface. He was furious with them – with the higher-ups, with jujutsu society, maybe even with her. He hated that they'd thought to use her as cannon fodder in order to capture him. And shouldn't that make her hate them too? How many innocent men and women had they sacrificed so far? How many lives had been lost on both sides?

Gojo looked back toward the force. "I wonder if Megumi is out there. I can't see him standing idle, no matter what he was told."

"Wait–" Utahime tried to rush toward him, but she couldn't get her body to move. She reached out to him, but he was too far. He had always been too far, always just out of her reach, so far beyond anyone else in the world, save for maybe Geto. He'd been Gojo's grounding force, and when he had left, well… Gojo didn't have much left to tether him to the world. Utahime couldn't be that person, and Shoko had been too wounded herself to try.

And then it all went to hell, and they lost everything. She lost him.

"Maybe he'll survive," Gojo mused as he began to charge up his technique. Purple – he was going for purple, red and blue light crackling in the air between them. "I hope he does. I'd like to see him again."

"Stop!" Utahime shrieked, and the world seemingly halted around them.

Without even realizing that she'd moved, Utahime found herself grabbing onto one of Gojo's forearms, the crown of her head pressed against his bicep. Her fingers dug into his black sleeves, clinging to him tightly as her entire body trembled. She couldn't stop herself from shaking, pure terror soaking her to the bone.

"I'll– I'll come with you," she managed weakly. God, it was so weak. He'd always teased her about that, even after they'd graduated. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop a flood of tears, but a few slipped out anyways, dripping onto the dirt at her feet. "Please, just… Don't kill them."

"Why shouldn't I?" Gojo asked her coldly. "I could kill them and take you anyway. There's nothing stopping me."

"Please," Utahime repeated, her voice bordering on begging. Did he want her to get on her knees? She would do it if it appeased his ego enough. "I won't fight. I won't even try to escape. I'll– I'll listen. I'll try to understand." Instead of falling to the ground, she lifted her head to look at him and reached up to touch his face. "Take me with you."

Gojo hummed thoughtfully, the air crackling with dangerous energy. "You're just saying that to save them. You don't want to actually come with me. You're only sacrificing yourself."

"Maybe," Utahime replied. "Maybe I've been with them too long. Maybe you can help me see." Her hand slid around to the back of his neck, her fingertips brushing through his hair. "I lied. I did miss you, but you're right as well. I'm scared. Show me otherwise."

As he stared down at her once more, Utahime was almost positive he would shove her away from him and decimate the forest. Memories of that day two years ago flashed in her mind – the screams, the explosions, the breaking of concrete and metal, and then nothing but silence. She would've been caught in his devastating power had he not grabbed her by the back of her shirt at the last second.

She couldn't stand to see something like that happen again. It really would destroy her, even if she wasn't hit directly.

"Gojo, please, leave them. They're not worth it."

He let out a breath. "They're not, which makes it so easy to just–"

"No," Utahime cut in. "I want to go. I want to be with you. Please."

After another long few seconds of consideration, Gojo slowly released the energy he'd been building up previously. With the lights gone, they faded into the darkness of the forest again, the sun having fallen behind the trees. He dropped his hands, and his body relaxed, a tension she hadn't caught onto bleeding from him.

She didn't have time to relax, not when he turned to face her and cupped her face in his hands. A smile lit up his face, bright and genuine. It reached his eyes and more. "I knew you'd see the truth and change your mind."

It wasn't like she'd had much of a choice, but Utahime didn't argue with him, not when he pressed his lips against hers so sweetly. For a moment, she could pretend like everything else had been a nightmare, and she was experiencing something she'd only dreamed about in embarrassment. How many times had she imagined kissing Gojo even after they bickered and he teased her? Here she was now, holding onto him as his lips molded against hers. It could've been beautiful.

And then his grip on her tightened slightly, and he bit down on her lip, not hard enough to make her bleed, but just enough to make her flinch and remember who he was. This wasn't the Gojo she had fantasized about. This was someone else, and with that one action, he made it known that she wasn't just giving herself to him.

After all, she had asked – and he would take her, whether she knew what that all entailed or not.

Chapter 2

Notes:

*looks at all the world-building and shit in this chapter and lets out The Biggest of Sighs* Remember when I told myself this was going to be a very NSFW one-shot? I'm blaming Gojo entirely. It turns out the real reason he's a bad guy is because he made me write more than I planned.

Chapter Text

Whatever Utahime was expecting – however she had envisioned Gojo living in the past two years – nothing could have prepared her for what his life was actually like. To be honest, Utahime wasn't sure what she'd pictured. It wasn't like she had thought he was hiding out in caves, surviving on scraps, but she hadn't expected something so strangely...normal.

Well, she supposed he couldn't be evil all the time.

Terrifying as he was or perhaps because of it, Gojo was renowned throughout the world for his power. Geto had already amassed a large number of followers by the time Gojo turned on jujutsu society, and it had tripled almost overnight when Gojo joined his side. Entire countries had turned to follow them, deciding it would be easier and safer to fall in line instead of wage war against the two most powerful jujutsu sorcerers of their time.

That sort of power meant they could essentially hide in plain sight. Geto was the face of their movement to eradicate non-sorcerers. He was more charming than Gojo in the sense that he could cajole people into following them without the threat of violence or death. Even many non-sorcerers followed them in an attempt to be spared, running themselves ragged best to make themselves useful. Whether that was money or labor, they did their best

It made Utahime's stomach turn.

She watched as non-sorcerers worked like servants, skittering about any sorcerers with fear. The young woman that had prepared her room had paled and actually apologized when Utahime had thanked her before promptly bolting out of the room. Utahime ran her hand over the silk and cotton duvet, somewhat amazed by the quality. It was a rather lovely design, the kind she'd look in the shops and want to make her quarters in Kyoto nicer but would never splurge on.

In fact, that was the sense of the entire room. It didn't feel like a place one associate with a person who had killed god knew how many people – with the type of people that had broken the world in half with little care.

It wasn't a room meant for a prisoner, which Utahime supposed was the point. Gojo had said he wanted to change her mind – prove her wrong. He wanted her comfortable, to trust him, to see him as good. He couldn't do that if he threw her in some sort of cell in the basement with chains and bars locking her in place. However, she had no doubt in her mind that this was a cell, just of a different kind. The prettiness of it couldn't hide the sinister feeling underneath or make her forget why she had told him to take her with him.

The whole place was strange and confusing, normal with just enough surrealness to unsettle her. Upon first glance, it came off as a beautiful place – stunning, expansive, full of life. Utahime could see why even those with power and wealth could get tricked here. Even she had marveled over it and also the unexpected pleasantness of the place. Their stronghold didn't look like anything she'd expected. It was more like a massive traditional Japanese house.

Still, while she hadn't been here for long, she could tell there was something else simmering under the surface, a darkness that had weaved its way through the building and into people's hearts like a treacherous vine. She'd passed a room where a man was frantically scrubbing at a stain on the floor, pulled away before she could get a better look. None of the non-sorcerers would look her in the eyes, and she'd even caught one getting viciously berated by a sorcerer. The only reason the man had stopped was because Utahime had grown uncomfortable and Gojo had told him to do something useful.

The sorcerers here themselves ranged from fervently devoted to dangerously arrogant. It was obvious that those who lived here or nearby were the most promising members. They were either the strongest or the most loyal. None of them seemed to come close to Gojo or Geto, which was probably how they managed to keep so many powerful sorcerers and strong personalities in line. Instead of fighting against one another, they worked together, pushing their egos if only for a moment when their leaders were around.

Still, even as she watched them work together, she knew that sense of loyalty only went so far with some people. The weaker sorcerers were clearly more of the devoted type, working hand in hand with each other to bring the goal to life. Geto found use in them when the higher-ups in jujutsu society would've ignored them. The stronger sorcerers tended to play nice, but she'd gotten the sense almost right away that many weren't pleased to be on the same level as those with less curse energy or weaker techniques than them.

Nonetheless, if any sorcerer they passed was stronger than her, they hadn't sneered in her direction, not with Gojo walking beside her, his hand on the small of her back. They all smiled politely and bowed their heads respectfully, even when Gojo ignored them. Underneath that devotion was also a sense of hatred and jealousy. After all, no matter how far they climbed, they would never be able to reach the same heights as their leaders.

It painted an interesting picture of a world that was more even, but in the end, wasn't much different from the jujutsu world she had come from that Gojo had turned against. The strong would still trample the weak here if given the chance. She didn't know why he couldn't see that, or maybe he no longer cared. If so, then why had he saved her? She certainly wasn't the strongest sorcerer out there. Even the higher-ups knew that.

"You like it?"

Utahime looked up to find Gojo standing in the doorway, one of his shoulders leaning against the threshold. He tossed her a tangerine, and she caught it against her chest. Looking down at the fruit, she rolled it in her hands, feeling the small bumps of imperfections in the smooth skin. She had felt too sick to her stomach to eat for nearly a day, but now her body's needs betrayed her now, and she carefully began to peel it.

Gojo gestured around the room. "This whole place is like this – so pretty, expensive, and nice . It's dumb, isn't it?"

"What's dumb?" Utahime asked.

"All of this." Gojo popped a slice of tangerine in his mouth. He swallowed and continued, "It's just a cover, a front, for the ugly truth. All those stupid fucking idiots pandering us with money in hopes that they'll be spared."

Utahime bit her lip, staring down at the half-peeled tangerine. "Will they?"

Gojo shrugged carelessly. "Maybe. Guess it depends on how useful they are. I'd rather kill the whole lot of them – put them out of their misery – but Suguru likes to bleed them dry before getting rid of them."

The coldness of his words made Utahime shiver, which she covered up by taking a deep breath. Considering the way he was looking at her now, she hadn't done a good job. He ate another piece of tangerine, rather thoughtfully, as if considering his next words. If he was trying to assuage her fears of him, he wasn't doing a good job either, but...she appreciated the candidness more. She would much rather know how Gojo truly felt than have him hide behind charming words and fake smiles. That had always been more of Geto's thing.

"It's very…" Utahime struggled to find the right word. None of them would appease him entirely, so there was little point in hiding how she felt either. "Unsettling."

"It is, isn't it?" Gojo agreed, tilting his head so that the light glinted off his dark sunglasses. "It's part of the design, I guess – more of Suguru's planning." That made sense. He was far more of the calculating type. Gojo could be as well, but he preferred a more head-on approach. She wasn't sure who was more devastating. "But it's ugly underneath. Everyone is either simpering for attention, begging for mercy, or delusional enough to believe they're worth something."

Kind of like you, Utahime almost said, but she managed to bite her tongue.

"If you don't like it, then why are you here?" Utahime asked, setting the discarded peel aside.

"Because it's broken either way," Gojo said, "but I can at least do something here."

Utahime settled a steady gaze on him. "Is that what you think you're doing when you level cities or murder people?"

Gojo snorted. "You never fail to disappoint. Winning you over wouldn't be as rewarding if you didn't make it so damn difficult for me." He flashed her a grin. "You always make things so sweet in the end."

She frowned, annoyed with him and that stupid grin, and looked down. She pulled the tangerine in half and then peeled off a slice. The fruit was sweet in her mouth, sourness following soon after as the juices coated her tongue. A tornado of emotions swirled inside of her – anger at him for putting her in a terrible position, confused about this place, frightened if she had to be honest. Everything was so off, and she didn't know how to react.

What if she said the wrong thing and Gojo killed her?

Would it even matter to anyone but herself and a handful of others? Would it matter to Gojo?

Even worse, a voice whispered in the back of her mind: Gojo isn't the one you need to worry about.

Biting her lip, Utahime glanced up again. "So what does Geto think about you bringing me here?"

"Oh." Gojo popped in the last slice and swallowed it down. "I'm not sure."

Utahime blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

It was hard to say what she'd expected. She supposed Gojo tended to work on his own. Even when the two of them had been students at Jujutsu High, they had worked incredibly well together, but they'd also butted heads a lot of the time. The two of them were as close as friends as they were bitter as rivals. No one could rile Gojo up quite like Geto, and no one was allowed as near to Geto as Gojo was. They were two sides of the same coin, but sometimes she thought it was double-headed so no one could win but them.

"I didn't really ask him," Gojo explained. "He gets to have his toys, so why can't I have mine?" When she opened her mouth to angrily protest, he held up his empty hands and grinned. "I'm kidding. You aren't a toy. I know that. You're more than that."

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. Was she? To be perfectly fair, she probably was little more than a toy for Gojo, at least in Geto's eyes. He hadn't considered much of her before when they were students, even if she was older. Oh, sure, he'd been polite and even nice to a point, all smiles and flowery words in public, but there had been times when she caught him watching her whenever Gojo was teasing her. There had been absolutely nothing in his eyes, like he didn't even see her as another sorcerer.

It had frightened her back then, although she hadn't realized it until later on when it was too late.

"What am I then?" Utahime asked. "Your prisoner?"

"You tell me," Gojo replied coolly. "You're the one that asked me to bring you here."

Utahime clenched down hard enough on the tangerine to cause fruits to spill down her fingers. "It wasn't like I was given much of a choice."

"I didn't have to listen to you, you know," Gojo pointed out. "But I'm capable of being kind and understanding. I can be merciful."

It was true. He'd said as such, so perhaps she should act more grateful toward him. Nonetheless, she couldn't get the words to come out of her mouth. What did he want her to say? Thank you for not ruthlessly murdering people. She couldn't be grateful for that, not when he had once been the type of person that saved others.

(He'd saved her, hadn't he?)

"Can you?" Utahime stood up and turned away from him. She set the rest of the tangerine on the table. As hungry as she was, she couldn't force the food down right now. She couldn't tell if her hands were shaking from the lack of food on her stomach or something else, but she gripped the edge of the table to still them.

"So stubborn," Gojo sighed, though he didn't sound disappointed.

She heard him walk further into the room and the door clicking shut behind him. Her heart skipped a beat, but even though she knew he was coming to her, she still jumped a little when one of hands settled on her hip. His other hand rested on the table, essentially caging her in, his chest brushing against her back. She wanted to lean back into him, try to pretend for a moment that he was his old self again, the young man that would playfully invade her space and wrap himself around her. She could almost feel it now, but his fingers dug into her hip a little harder than usual.

"You gotta trust me a bit if I'm gonna convince you otherwise," Gojo murmured in her ear. "You did before, didn't you?"

Utahime closed her eyes and let out a breath. "You know I did."

"I waited for you," Gojo continued, his thumb rubbing her hip over her clothes. "I thought you'd figure it out on your own – that the way things were going, there'd be nothing meant for you. And then you'd come to us – come to me – and see how much more you could have."

"And what can I have?" Utahime asked. "What can I possibly have when there's nothing left?"

"You're acting like we're gonna destroy everything, but we won't. Sure, we've done a lot of damage, but it's necessary if we're gonna start from scratch." Gojo dropped his chin on her shoulder, trapping her further against him. "Geto wants to rid the world of non-sorcerers completely, but I gotta be honest. I don't think it'll happen."

Opening her eyes, Utahime asked, "Why not?"

"He thinks getting rid of non-sorcerers will eliminate curses, but I don't think it'll work. Curses will find a way to still be created. Maybe not as many, but…" When he shrugged, he moved her body, as if she was shrugging along with him. "It sounds nice, doesn't it? A world with no curses, a world without selfish bastards telling us what to do. But it doesn't work that way." He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I killed the higher-ups, and they were just replaced with new worse ones."

Utahime couldn't deny that. The sorcerers that had taken the places of the men and women that Gojo had killed shortly after turning were much harsher. They weren't like Yaga, who had been firm in his ways but caring toward those underneath him. At least Gojo hadn't killed him, but he had been punished with death for "failing" to teach Gojo and Geto properly. Utahime had witnessed the execution firsthand and then held Shoko's hair back later after she drank too much and got sick from crying.

Since then, Utahime had done everything she could to stay in line and off their radar. How many times had she gotten on her hands and knees after Gojo's first attack where she had been one of the few to survive? Shoko and Nanami had been forced to do much the same due to their history with Gojo, as if she had to apologize for surviving and they had to beg for forgiveness for simply knowing him prior. Sometimes, Utahime wondered if Shoko was still alive if only because of her technique.

It still didn't make Gojo's actions right, no matter what he thought. He'd abused his power just as much as they had.

Still, Utahime had to ask. "Why are you working with Geto if you don't think his plan will work?"

Gojo was silent for a while. She couldn't tell if he was considering his response or if he simply didn't want to answer her. A lot of people assumed that Gojo's goals were merely destruction itself. It didn't take him much to cause chaos. Some saw him as merely Geto's dog. He was more powerful, yes, but he seemed to attack at command wherever Geto planned it, and it was obvious when Geto was the mind behind an attack. Gojo's slaughter of the higher-ups had been violent and brash, lashing out carelessly.

He never cared about collateral damage, never thought about the repercussions. He didn't have to, as there was no one who could question him.

"I'm glad you're not with them anymore," Gojo said instead, nuzzling his nose against her throat. So he wouldn't answer her then. That was fine. She hadn't expected one, but she perhaps had time to pull an answer out of him still. He didn't seem intent on letting her go any time soon. "I know you don't see it now, but you will. It's messy work, I'll admit, but if something is broken, it's better to throw it away and start fresh."

"You make it sound so easy," Utahime huffed.

"Well, it is, for me at least," Gojo chuckled.

"Then how come you haven't done it yet?"

Gojo tsked. "Because people are resilient if nothing else. I can admire that."

Utahime turned her head slightly to look at him out of the corners of her eyes. "You've always enjoyed a good fight."

"Nothing would be worth it if it wasn't hard-won," Gojo reasoned. "Like you." Her heart jumped again. Even if she couldn't see his eyes, she knew his were locked on hers. "You've always been so difficult. That was half the fun, of course. Suguru might not know if you're worth the hassle or not, but I think you are."

"Glad to know he'll be so enthused you brought me here," Utahime muttered under her breath.

She turned her head away from him again, but Gojo lifted his hand from the table to cup her cheek and turn her back to him. "It doesn't matter what he thinks in the end. You're here with me, and I know your full potential." She rolled her eyes, and he shook his head. "You've managed to keep your head on despite those idiots weighing down on you, but it's the sorcerers you've helped teach that really shows your worth. Maybe you aren't as strong as others, but you're an excellent teacher. We could do with that."

At the mention of her students, Utahime's pulse fluttered. She'd known early on that she would never be the sorcerer that Gojo was, not even Mei Mei or Nanami, but she could do something else. She could help others grow stronger. She'd become a teacher at Kyoto a few years after graduating, before Gojo had changed sides. With Jujutsu High in Tokyo laid to waste, Kyoto Tech alone remained, and even then, it was half of what it had been before. All she had were her students, as few and far between as they were.

Gojo, of course, knew Fushiguro, and he no doubt knew of Itadori, but apparently, he'd been keeping an eye on all of them. How long? How much did he know?

"The proof's in the next generation," Gojo said, "and you're very good with kids."

When his hand on her hip moved to suggestively roam over her stomach, she swatted at it, and he laughed, pulling her tighter against his chest. She felt little more than a doll in his arms, one for him to play and toy with at his leisure. Even though he was talking plenty, she couldn't get a read on his exact feelings or state of mind. He kept switching from serious to casual at the drop of a hat, probably on purpose to keep her on her toes. That hadn't changed, at least.

"You'd look good like that too," Gojo hummed thoughtfully.

Utahime squirmed in his arms. "Stop being weirder than you already are."

Gojo laughed again. "Look at you, mouthing off to the world's most dangerous sorcerer." He nuzzled against her again, so affectionately that Utahime's heart ached. "I missed this. Besides Suguru, almost everyone here is so pathetic. Even the strong ones snivel around me."

"It's hard not to be afraid of what you'll do," Utahime admitted.

"And yet you aren't falling to your knees."

It didn't mean they weren't shaking. Her legs felt like jello, like she might actually collapse if Gojo let go of her. He must've sensed the fear simmering just underneath the surface, felt the frantic beat of her pulse in her neck. Her breathing stuttered when she felt him press his lips against her skin, featherlight, as if tasting the waters first. She shuddered, the feeling treacherously pleasant, which only encouraged him. He trailed up her neck, her jaw, then her cheek, kissing the corner of her lips.

"Uta," he murmured like some sort of hopeful prayer, and she turned her head just a little more so he could capture her lips.

She allowed him to deepen it, going from chaste to demanding quite quickly, his tongue slipping past her lips and into her mouth. His hand moved from her cheek down to her neck, cradling it so that his thumb rested on her pulse point. She was acutely aware that he could squeeze at any second and kill her, which only made her heart race more. He could feel it, his thumb pressing down more, and she whimpered into his mouth, unable to stop the rather needy sound. His lips curled into a knowing grin against hers even as he continued to kiss her.

Bastard. She hated him. And yet...

It was shameful, letting him kiss her like this, and guilt flared sharply in her gut. She could tell herself it was because she was afraid of telling him no – and that had to be partly true – but it wasn't just fear swirling inside her now. Ever since that first kiss, her mind continued to stray back to that moment, like a wounded puppy, thinking about how sweet it had tasted. Sweeter than the tangerine they both tasted like now. He'd ruined it in the end, but she still felt the urge to chase that feeling once more, almost desperate to pretend like things were fine.

He was here, with her, and she was with him. It was okay. They were okay.

But like this place, like their plans, it was just a lie wrapped in a pretty package.

She pulled away from him abruptly, practically ripping her lips from his, and took a shaky breath. Her hands hurt from gripping the table too tightly, the skin white around the knuckles. He really was determined to make her knees literally buckle so she could fall before him, but she refused to give him that satisfaction just yet. He'd have to work for it. He'd have to break her before she did that. Judging by the soft, amused snort, he knew that too.

"Are you going to keep me in here like some sort of doll on a shelf?" Utahime asked.

"No, that wouldn't be very kind of me, now would it?" Gojo's hand on her neck was gentle, but it was still there. She didn't know if it was a warning, threat, or something else entirely. "As much as I'd love to keep you all for myself, I can't change your mind if you don't see things for yourself."

"Still cocky as ever," Utahime noted, unimpressed.

Gojo grinned. "If not worse."

When he finally let go of her neck and took a step back, she tried not to react. She didn't want him to see the relief flooding through her system. Instead, she tried her best to keep a passive expression on her face as she turned around to face him directly, but it didn't work, not when she tensed up and folded her arms across her chest. There was something about the way he gazed at her so head-on that unsettled her too much.

"So how is this going to work?" Utahime asked. "Are you going to take me on little outings here and there? I didn't picture you being the propaganda type."

"No, that's more Suguru's thing as well," Gojo agreed. "I don't need to pretend I'm nice. Everyone knows I'm a monster, don't they?"

Utahime opened her mouth, but nothing came out. He said it so matter-of-factly, maybe even a hint entertained by the idea. She found it terribly sad. Hadn't he been a beacon of hope at one point, a focal point for everyone to look to when things were dark? Or had everyone always feared him deep down? Had that terrifying shadow he now cast always been following him?

Gojo held out a hand. "I can't exactly let you wander around on your own, but I've got it covered."

"Giving me a chaperone?" Utahime surmised blandly.

"More like a bodyguard," Gojo replied with a wink. "You're gonna break some hearts being here." She lifted one hand from her bicep in a dismissive wave. "Plus, I'm still not sure if Suguru will want to kill you or not. He'll probably consider you a distraction or a weakness."

Utahime rolled her stiff shoulders. "That's comforting."

"He won't," Gojo reassured her, "but it won't hurt to have a bit of insurance against him."

"So a bodyguard then? One of your loyal-to-a-fault followers?"

Gojo nodded. "I guess you could call him that." She huffed in irritation, already dreading dealing with someone that would throw themselves at Gojo's feet. "Aw, don't be like that. I think you'll like him! He's just your type – some wounded kid riddled with trauma and more power than he knows what to do with. Maybe you can help him out."

Utahime furrowed her brow, but she decided against questioning him further. Gojo clearly had his reasons, but he didn't seem keen on divulging them entirely, only in bits and pieces so she'd have to piece the puzzle on her own. He'd brought up her teaching, so it must've had something to do with that. Geto thought her useless, so if she could prove her worth, Gojo would be right about her – and then maybe Geto would kill her. No big deal.

Sucking it up, Utahime let out a sigh. "Fine. When can I leave?"

"Tomorrow," Gojo told her. "It's late." He gestured to the half-eaten tangerine. "You should eat and get some rest."

She didn't feel like eating, and she was positive that no matter how comfortable that bed was, she would struggle to sleep. Like it or not, she'd have to get used to it. She nodded and picked up the tangerine again. It would make do until she was truly hungry again. Tomorrow, her body would need more whether she wanted to eat or not. Still, he looked pleased with her obedient behavior. It wasn't much different than how she handled the higher-ups. If only he could see that.

"You'll understand soon enough," Gojo told her. "Maybe you'll even grow to love it here."

She didn't really have much of a choice, now did she? Nonetheless, Utahime kept her mouth shut and swallowed down the fruit, the symbol of his potential to be kind. It didn't taste as sweet as it had before.

Chapter 3

Notes:

So I'm on vacation for a wedding, but apparently, the ocean was exactly what I needed to write this dreary fic. LMAO Shout out to my cousin for figuring out the WiFi password. PFFFT. Also, I have to be honest - Geto was originally supposed to appear at the end of this chapter, but then two other characters decided to steal the show and I decided Geto deserved his own chapter to be terrible in. :))))) So yes, you get to deal with more world-building.

Chapter Text

It turned out Utahime's body didn't care if her mind was racing. She fell asleep at some point during the night, waking up hours later at an unknown time. The lack of windows in the room threw her sense of time off, so she could only rely on her body's internal clock. Judging by the time she usually woke up, it was probably around six in the morning.

After a minute of staring at the ceiling to confirm this wasn't still a dream, Utahime pulled herself out of bed. She did her best to wash up, undoing the bow in her hair and retying it. Her clothes were rumpled, dirt still coating the bottom of her pants. She sighed at her reflection. At least she hadn't cried. Her eyes would've been puffy and red, and Gojo would've no doubt brought it up.

At least, he would if she saw him today. She honestly wasn't sure what the day had in store.

Not long after trying the door and finding it locked, there was a knock from the other side and then a tentative boy's voice called out, "May I come in?"

Figuring it was probably one of the non-sorcerer servants, Utahime replied, "Yes." She stood in the middle of the room, clasping her hands together in front of her, and waited as the door was unlocked and pulled open.

If she thought she looked tired, nothing could compare to the young man that stepped into the room. The dark circles under his eyes suggested he hadn't slept properly since he was born. He was thin as well with messy black hair that hung in his pale face. His lips twitched upward into a nervous smile, his eyes darting to the ground as if he couldn't look at her for long, and his hands were fidgeting before him. He looked like she could say "boo" and he'd skitter away.

And then he let out a breath and a powerful wave of curse energy swept over Utahime.

She stiffened, utterly shocked by the terrible feeling of dread that wafted from him. No, was it from him? It felt more like a curse. He didn't seem to be in a position to fight, but she could tell upon further glance that he carried more curse energy in her body than anyone she'd ever met before, perhaps more than Gojo. The sensation reminded her more of Geto than him, however, the taint of a curse too strong to ignore.

"Sorry, sorry," the boy mumbled, his eyes still trained on the ground. "Gojo says I let it out sometimes when I'm nervous."

Utahime opened her mouth, but she wasn't sure what to say. Her assumption about him being a servant was far off; if she had to guess, this was the person Gojo had told her about last night, her bodyguard so to speak. Physically speaking, he didn't look like much, but any sorcerer would balk upon feeling that amount of powerful energy radiating from him.

It was strange though. How could someone with this much curse energy be as timid as a mouse? He could probably level a building with a single strike, but he didn't seem capable of looking her in the eyes.

Lifting a hand, Utahime carefully said, "It's okay. What's there to be nervous about?"

"I'm not–" The boy fidgeted. "I don't want to mess up. Gojo said you're important to him, so I'm supposed to take you around, but I'm not good–" He gestured helplessly. "I'm not really good at that sort of stuff."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Utahime told him.

The boy shook his head. "Gojo said he trusted me to do this." He bit his lip, the skin already red from where he'd done it before, and then finally looked up. "Besides, this is– nicer than the jobs that Geto gives me."

Utahime's heart sank, but she tried her best not to let it show. Now she understood what Gojo had meant when he'd teased her about him being her type. The boy clearly had issues, just like most of her students. Curse him for putting her in this position. He'd know her bleeding heart would want to reach out to the kid, and she'd be more willing to cooperate as well.

"What's your name?" Utahime asked.

He startled, as if he'd drifted off. "Oh, um, Okkotsu – Okkotsu Yuta. I, uh, I already know your name. Gojo told me."

"Which would you prefer me to call you?"

"Yuta is fine."

Utahime smiled gently. "Okay, Yuta it is."

Blush dusted his cheeks, and he abruptly turned around to grab something from the hallway. As he did, she eyed the holder on his back. A katana of some sort. It must've had something to do with his technique or cursed energy. Many sorcerers used weapons in tandem with their abilities. Nanami used a dull cleaver most of the time. She wondered, with the amount of cursed energy he held, what this frightened boy could do with a sword.

When Yuta turned around, he held out a change of clothes, similar to the outfit she was wearing. "Gojo wanted you to have these. Um, he said to tell you that he bought them himself."

Utahime rolled her eyes. "Of course he did. Annoying bastard."

The shock on Yuta's face was plain as day, but he didn't question her as she took the clothes from him. "Just knock when you're done." He scurried out quickly, taking that dark feeling with him, but she couldn't shake it as she stared at the closed door.

He must've been the victim of a horrific and powerful curse. Why hadn't Geto done something about that?

Upon changing clothes, Utahime was dismayed to find that not only were they the correct size, but the outfit Gojo had given her was absolutely beautiful. The material felt almost comforting. She was positively livid over it and embarrassed as well. He should know better than to think he could buy her loyalty, so he was doing this to either prove a point or let everyone know something.

After seething over it, Utahime took a deep breath, schooled her face, and knocked on the door. The door unlocked and was opened again, Yuta asking, "Are you hungry?"

As much as she would've liked to continue fasting out of pettiness, Utahime knew she needed to eat, so she begrudgingly nodded. Yuta turned without another word and started down the hall. She hesitated only for a moment before following him. It was brighter than before, natural light spilling into the hallway. They went a different way than she'd walked with Gojo, traveling further into the building. They passed plenty of people, sorcerers and non-sorcerers alike.

Not a single one of them looked at either her or Yuta.

Perhaps catching her frowning after the tenth person to scurry past them without so much as a glance, Yuta apologized again. "Sorry, it's me."

Utahime glanced at him in surprise. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, it's–" Yuta hesitated and looked ahead again. "It's more of Rika. We scare people. I don't mean to, but I can't help it."

"Rika?" Utahime's eyes tried to follow his cursed energy. There was just so much. However, if she focused hard, she could see a thin trail of it leading away from him, through the wall. "Your curse?"

Yuta nodded, a shameful look crossing his face. "She's just protective, is all."

A protective curse – that was a first for her. She wouldn't even say Geto's curses were protective of him so much as tamed entirely. Still, it made sense. Considering his power, she could only imagine how strong the curse attached to him was. It had to be terrifying to those that didn't come close to his level. How utterly bizarre. She couldn't fathom why this boy wasn't swimming in smugness. Aside from Geto and Gojo, he had to be the strongest sorcerer here.

"I don't think you're scary," Utahime settled on saying.

Yuta froze, slowly looking back at her. "You...don't?"

"Well, we've only just met, so I don't know you well," Utahime pointed out, "but you've only been considerate with me so far." She looked out the window where she could see sorcerers practicing with their techniques, a variance of power easy to see. "And this must be an annoying job for someone with your strength. It's below you."

"Not-not at all!" Yuta exclaimed, waving his hands frantically. "If Gojo says you're important, then this must be a very important job. I'm– I'm nervous, but I'm grateful he trusted me with it – with you, I mean."

Utahime blew out some air. "I'm not that important."

She was a fool, was what she was. Gojo had really played her, hadn't he, giving her this sad-eyed, eager boy as a guard. Nonetheless, if she could help him, she would. It broke her heart to see such a seemingly kind boy on a side that ruthlessly murdered, and she couldn't help but think of what he'd said about Geto. His other jobs. She could only imagine how much blood was already on his hands.

(She could only imagine how the higher-ups would've abused his abilities if he was on their side.)

The next door they went through opened up to a large, bustling kitchen. The room was brightly lit and warm, the smell of fresh food overwhelming her for a moment. She watched as people worked together at ease, all of them non-sorcerers. Yuta walked up to one of the girls. She startled upon seeing him, but at least she didn't run away, listening as he explained they needed something to eat even though it was still early.

"Oh, Yuta, you're back on guard dog duty again? I hadn't thought Geto was done working you to the bone yet."

The feminine voice was familiar, and Utahime spun around, her mouth dropping partly when she recognized the young woman lingering near a table. For a moment, she didn't know what to say, at a complete loss at the sight before her.

"Mai!" Utahime gasped. She nearly tripped over her feet to reach her, stopping herself just inches away from grabbing her arms and pulling her into a hug. Mai had never been fond of physical touch, and Utahime wasn't about to push that boundary now. Even then, tears welled in Utahime's eyes at the sight of her former student. "I didn't think… We haven't heard from you in so long. We didn't know what had happened to you."

Folding her arms across her chest, Mai stiffly responded, "They thought it best to keep me out of sight for a while. Couldn't have my lovely family getting their claws in me again."

Utahime bit her lip and took a step back. "Right, of course."

Mai smiled sharply. "How's my sister? Still a total bitch?"

"She's worried sick about you," Utahime reprimanded softly.

"Not sick enough apparently since she's alive and with those bastards," Mai replied, sounding completely indifferent. The smile faded from her face, replaced with an expression that matched her tone. "Naoya is clearly having the time of his life. Can't believe that bastard is still the head of the Zen'in clan. I thought he would've pissed someone off enough to kill him." A genuinely wistful look glimmered in her eyes. "One day."

Deciding that talk of her family would only push her away, Utahime changed tactics. "You look good. Are they...treating you well here?"

"Fishing for information so soon?" Mai teased. Before Utahime could argue, she shrugged and added, "For a couple of mass murderers advocating genocide, our two gracious leaders are quite considerate of those that work hard for the cause."

Her cold description cut through the light, dry tone of her voice. Utahime fought back the urge to swallow, her throat tight. Even Yuta had grown very still as he looked away, the surrounding darkness tampered down. Most of the servants had overheard her and busied themselves as far away from them as possible, their nerves betraying them.

Mai must've sensed the tension because she sighed and waved a dismissive hand. "Geto can be a bit full of himself and Gojo is an idiot, but they don't trample us down like the higher-ups did. They're more generous than my uncle and Naoya ever were. I can actually live here without being spit on for breathing."

At least a few of the non-sorcerers glanced their way, a flash of hate in their eyes, but then Mai looked back at them, catching their eyes, and the man rushed back to the task at hand. It must've felt nice for Mai to have someone else lay down on the chopping block. Utahime couldn't help but wonder if she took any pleasure in that after years of being mercilessly beaten down by her own blood. It didn't matter if she was considered a weak sorcerer with minimal curse energy; she would be treated equally and fairly among the other sorcerers here.

It sounded like a dream, save for the fact that it meant ruining the lives of others.

"You shouldn't speak about them like that," Yuta said, sounding abashed for her.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Well it's true." She gestured to the others in the room. "Sure, one of their little spies could tell on me, but they told me themselves to speak my mind, especially about them. It helps keep their egos in check or whatnot."

Utahime snorted. "That's impossible."

"Thank you," Mai replied, bowing slightly to Utahime. "See? She understands. No wonder Gojo brought her here. Geto's ball-busting isn't cutting it anymore."

While Utahime blushed, Yuta actually choked on his tongue and stammered out, "That's not– You shouldn't– That's... private."

It seemed to pain him to even speak of something like that, his embarrassment so innocent that Utahime nearly laughed. Mai's upfront words reminded her of Shoko, back when they were in school and she'd complain about Gojo and Geto's weird form of flirting. Utahime used to react similarly to Yuta, flummoxed and shy, and then spend the next few hours watching them to see if they really were flirting with each other.

Mai's grin was almost savage as she bore down upon Yuta. "Isn't he so cute?" She pinched one of his cheeks, a little too hard, and he squirmed, one eye squinting in pain, but he didn't push her away. "Don't let that little, lost, sad boy routine fool you. Underneath that baby face is a ruthless killer."

This time, Yuta did swat her hand away. "Mai!"

But she only laughed, bringing the fingers he'd struck to her lips. "Remind me: are you Geto's or Gojo's little pet?" A hard look came over Yuta's face, much more intense than Utahime could've thought was possible, but strangely, that dark curse energy from before bubbling up again. The grin on Mai's face transformed into something rather soft. "I'm teasing. You're a good boy, Yuta, but you get riled up so easily. Gojo says you need to loosen up if you want to control yourself and Rika."

Yuta glanced at Utahime and then down at the ground, mumbling, "I'm not a ruthless killer."

"No, you aren't," Mai said, though Utahime honestly couldn't tell if her soothing tone was genuine or mocking. From her own experience, she would've said it was mocking. "At any rate, I'm glad you've been given this position. You're always so moody after one of Geto's assignments." She took a plate of food from a servant and handed it to Utahime. "Besides, simple as this is, you're going to have your work cut out for you."

"What do you mean?" Utahime asked, feeling rather dumb. Although she hadn't given a lot of details about what life was like here, Utahime couldn't help but get the sense that Mai knew more about the inner details and mechanisms of this place. She was familiar enough with Geto and Gojo to speak of them casually and the staff knew her well enough to bring her a plate of food without her even asking.

Mai examined the food with mild interest and then shrugged in approval. "You'll have to watch out for Gojo's little groupies."

Utahime tsked in indifference. "He's always had those, so it doesn't matter." It hadn't mattered then when they were younger, and it wouldn't matter now. Gojo had always been egotistical, so he'd flourished under the attention from all those girls trailing after him and Geto. "He can have his flings. It doesn't involve me."

"Their presence might not matter to you, but your presence certainly bothers them," Mai stated, rudely pointing a pair of chopsticks at her. "I'd watch your front while Yuta watches your back. If they catch wind that you're Gojo's new favorite, one of them is likely to kill you."

"I'm not–"

"I believe those clothes speak for themselves," Mai pointed out. "You were never one to splurge on material items, so it has to be a gift from him, a statement to let everyone know who you are." Utahime pressed her lips together and stayed silent. It was better not to comment, especially with her suspicions being confirmed. "Oh, sure, we're all equal here, but idiots will always get it in their heads that they're worth more." She tilted her head. "Gojo can be charming in his own way. I'm sure you're familiar with that."

Yes, she was, but she wasn't about to talk of that with Mai, especially when it was obvious that the girl was the one fishing for information this time. She most certainly wasn't one of Gojo's little fangirls, but she was curious. What she lacked in power, she made up with knowledge. It was smart – and something Utahime had taught her.

"Yes, Gojo can be charming when he wants something," Utahime replied dismissively. "I bet those girls were all too willing to throw themselves into his bed, but I doubt that man could ever love something more than himself."

Mai outright laughed. "It's true. If it wasn't so funny watching those idiots cry about him, I'd almost feel sorry for how pathetic they are."

Utahime couldn't help but think about the previous night – how he'd trapped her against him, made her feel like he was the only thing in her world, how she'd opened herself up to him for just a moment and she could barely breathe, much less think. No, Mai had definitely never been the subject of Gojo's charm. Otherwise, she might understand how easy it was to fall victim to his sole focus. It was a powerful thing, even when she seethed about it after.

Instead of continuing such an awkward topic, Utahime turned to Yuta. "Are you not eating?"

"Oh, no, I'm not hungry," he replied quickly.

"Eat something," Mai told him. "I know you're hungry, so don't lie. Your curse energy burns right through you. That's why you're so scrawny and weak."

Utahime frowned. "If you're hungry, you should eat."

In the end, Yuta grabbed a piece of onigiri, and they left the kitchen. Utahime thanked the servants profusely, which seemed to confuse them more than anything, and then they left the room. Yuta watched her with a strange sort of interest, but he didn't comment on her polite treatment of the non-sorcerers. Mai split ways with them, making some sort of vague excuse about work, and they went outside to eat.

Yuta let her pick where to sit, following her quietly like a ghost. Despite the energy wafting from him, it wasn't uncomfortable. Gojo had done very well in picking a person for this job, but then again, he'd always had a knack for figuring out where people belonged. Utahime found a peaceful-looking spot under a tree on the outskirts of the grounds. From where they sat, she could see children of all things playing. Upon a closer inspection, she realized cursed energy radiated from all of them as well.

"What is this place?" Utahime couldn't help but wonder out loud.

"It's different for everyone," Yuta replied, though she hadn't really been asking him. He was watching the children too, a passive look on his face. She couldn't tell if he was sad, happy, or wistful. A child shrieked with laughter in the distance, followed quickly by the sound of an adult reprimanding them. "A home, sanctuary, school, temple, base of operations – it's whatever you want or need it to be."

Utahime peered at him sideways. "What is it for you?"

Yuta shrugged. "Depends on what I'm here for."

"Are you...happy?" Utahime asked hesitantly. She wasn't how far she could press him. Mai would've switched tracks had she been asked such a direct question. She'd barely allowed Utahime to ask her if she was okay.

On the other hand, Yuta seemed to close up. His face was entirely devoid of emotion, although he didn't look upset or angry. It was like he wasn't sure how he felt, so he didn't know the appropriate response to her question. Had he ever been asked something so simple or was it simply assumed that someone with his amount of power should be happy in this world?

"I'm...alive," Yuta settled on saying. "Before Gojo found me, I was being hunted for execution. I'd been arrested by the police for murder, and the higher-ups in jujutsu society had worked out a deal to schedule my release so I could either be put down or leashed."

Utahime touched her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. "I'm…"

"If not for Gojo, I'd be dead," he explained, still looking out at the children playing. "But here, I'm needed. I have a purpose. I've got a reason to live and…and a family. That's more than I had before – and more than I would've had if the other side took me." He turned his head to look behind them. There was nothing there that Utahime could tell, but his gaze was focused, clear. Was that where his curse was lying in wait? "I couldn't let them put another collar on Rika. I've tied her down too much as it is."

Honestly, Utahime didn't know what to say. It wasn't an exact answer to her question, but it was more honest than she'd expected as well. He was so straightforward. When asked something so forward, the stammering shy boy had vanished, replaced by someone with direction. What had Mai teased him about? Him being Gojo's or Geto's pet? They had given him purpose, so when he had orders, he knew what to do and who to be without hesitation.

Once again, Utahime lost her appetite.

Nonetheless, she pushed on. If this boy was going to be following her around for who knew how long, she needed to get her bearings straight. Instead of pressing him further about his life here or his relationship with Gojo, she tentatively asked, "Who was she?"

Yuta stared down at the rice ball in his hands. "She was...a friend. We were just kids when she–" He swallowed. "I was stupid. I couldn't handle it – couldn't handle losing her – so I…"

When Utahime laid a hand on his arm, he startled slightly, but he watched her without looking away as she spoke. "You weren't stupid. You were a child – I'm guessing not much older than those children playing down there." He blinked, wide-eyed and so innocent-looking. Damn Gojo. "And I don't think she blames you either."

"How can you say that?" Yuta asked. "I cursed her, and she's a monster now instead of at peace."

Because she would've killed you if she did, Utahime thought.

Out loud, she said, "She protects you, doesn't she?" He nodded. "She must love you very much to watch over you even after death."

After a moment of consideration, Yuta swallowed and looked away. He didn't say anything else, but he did slowly start to eat the tuna onigiri he'd been holding in both hands. Utahime let out a breath and began to pick at her own food. She had to force herself to eat as well. The last thing she wanted was to be weak, woozy, and cloudy here. Considering what Mai had said and the lingering fear of Geto in the back of her mind, she'd have to be on her game.

If only this world wasn't so confusing. Of course Gojo had a hand in building it.

Chapter 4

Notes:

This is a Dark Gojo, Utahime, and Geto fic, I tell myself as I continue to write more Yuta. XD Also, yeah, this was my first time writing Geto, so I went back over it like three times until I finally threw my hands in the air and walked right into the ocean, like literally. lmfao This is so self-indulgent, so thanks for joining me on my "Everyone should love Utahime" journey.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After nearly a week of being in the heart of Gojo and Geto's stronghold, Utahime felt no closer to figuring out this place than when she'd arrived. It was much more massive than she'd realized, and she knew for a fact that she hadn't seen all of it. There were times when Yuta had redirected her when she'd tried to go down a hall, only to cagily avoid her question when she asked why or mutter something about Gojo explaining it to her later.

Except Gojo hadn't been around. It was as if he'd vanished entirely. When asked, Yuta had only said he was gone. Even Mai had shrugged and said something along the lines of, "Who knows what kind of mayhem that man is getting up to?" and Utahime learned not to ask again.

Yuta hadn't been wrong about his description of this place: it seemed to be whatever someone needed it to be, the case depending on each person.

There were the devotees, the members most loyal to the cause. They ranged from weak to strong sorcerers, though only a handful seemed to come near Yuta's level of curse energy. Either way, they were passionate, some to a near-deranged level, and would likely give their lives if asked. Fervent and bright-eyed, they were all too willing to tell Utahime about how incredible Geto and Gojo both were, how they were changing the world for the better. They truly believed in them – in the hope that everything would be brighter and better after this dark period.

She found it hard to speak with them, if only because she wasn't about to grovel at Gojo's feet. However, she did notice they tended to be nicer to Yuta whereas Mai turned her nose at them. She thought they were annoying and pathetic whereas he seemed to think more like them, truly hopeful about their end goals if not wary about the means.

A small subgroup also came out from the devotees – those that didn't believe in the cause so much as they worshipped Geto and Gojo. The whole thing disgusted Utahime. As if their egos needed to be blown up any more than they already were. They were men, not gods, but it was impossible to argue with anyone that had such a delirious glow in their eyes. Mai had warned her to stay clear of them, as their fanaticism could border on dangerous, and even Yuta avoided them, clearly uneasy when they came sniffing around because of his similar strength.

Then there were those that were obviously in it for power or strength. Most of them were higher-grade sorcerers, reminding her of Naoya and the other clan leaders in terms of strength and ego. Those with lesser curse energy were fighting their way to the top, determined to improve with their technique if not inherent strength. They were the sorcerers that were given important jobs and missions, those with some work under their belt and blood on their hands, which made them even more arrogant.

Strangely, Mai fit in better with them, even if she was one of the weakest, but she also said they were more fun to manipulate. They picked on Yuta, and he avoided them whenever they came sniffing around Utahime. She did not like them at all. They reminded her of the higher-ups too much, questioning her with a simple unimpressed look, although none of them outright said anything.

In an unusual twist, there were teachers, reminding her of Jujutsu High and Kyoto Tech. They were the most knowledgeable, ready to remind everything that their leaders had done and also raise the next generation and those older sorcerers that had joined later in the cause. It was obviously structured differently, but it was similar as well. Whereas Gojo had often shrugged off school, much to everyone's frustration, and Geto had sometimes thought it beneath him, Geto had at least placed an importance on learning. He'd want their followers to have brains about them, make them think they weren't just following blindly.

This wouldn't be a proper cult without some propaganda and educational manipulation.

She couldn't help but wonder what they thought of their former teaching being executed because of them, if they cared at all. Even if they had broken the rules often, so absorbed in being above everyone else, hadn't they at least respected Yaga a little?

Lastly, it wouldn't be a place created by Gojo and Geto if not for the misfits, the ones that didn't fit into either of the two main groups. That was where, in her opinion, Yuta and Mai belonged the most, though it wasn't much of a group. They were still trying to find their place in this world the two powerful sorcerers had created. Whether it was adults who spent their lives trying to hide their abilities, teens who couldn't control themselves, or children who had been subjected to abuse, they found a sanctuary here.

Utahime's heart went out to them the most. Many of them had been wounded terribly by both the non-sorcerer world and jujutsu society, cast aside by both for various reasons. Whether it was their technique, cursed energy, or curses themselves, they hadn't belonged anywhere. Of course Geto and Gojo would open their arms to them. After all, they'd been misfits themselves, two boys too powerful for their own good and feared and beloved for their abilities.

It hurt, seeing how many people had been hurt by a side she'd proclaimed to be on and knowing that she could very easily fit in here too.

"Are you okay?" Yuta asked, the concern in his voice cutting through her overthinking.

"Hm?" Utahime sat upright, pulling her thumbnail out from between her teeth. She glanced down at her nail. God, she hadn't chewed her nails in so long. She'd forced herself out of the habit when she was eight and had been scolded about it being improper. Setting her hand down, she smoothed out the pages of the book lying before her. "Oh, I was just thinking. Who wrote this garbage?"

A smile flickered on Yuta's face, but it vanished quickly. "One of the sorcerers here. They're very highly regarded."

Utahime snapped the book shut. "They've written Gojo and Geto as if they're shining heroes heralding a new era, but I bet they're still squabbling over trivial things."

Yuta's eyes darted around to make sure they were alone in the library, and then he begrudgingly admitted, "You're...not wrong." He shrugged. "Geto says their difference makes them a stronger team because they can see the big picture. They're both highly intelligent and powerful, but their different mindsets help them."

"A lovely sentiment," Utahime replied dryly.

"You knew them before though, right?" Yuta asked curiously.

"Mm, yeah, we went to school together." Utahime's mind had begun to drift to those days more and more in the past week. She'd done her best to pretend they didn't exist, especially after Gojo turned, but she couldn't avoid it now. It was like she could see bits and pieces of their history together written in the walls of this place, its creation a direct correlation from the things they'd learned and encountered back then.

Yuta was bright-eyed like those obsessed devotees. "What were they like?"

"Obnoxious, egotistical, petty brats," Utahime responded without missing a beat.

He shook his head, though he didn't appear disappointed. At least he was no longer surprised like he'd been the first few times she'd badmouthed Gojo under her breath. "You sound like Mai."

"They were your age," Utahime said, running a finger along the title of the book cover. "Too young and too much of everything, the whole world at the tip of their fingers. They knew all they had to do was grasp it, one way or another, and it would change everything."

And it had. Utahime had known nothing would ever be the same again when word broke out about what Geto had done to that village. She remembered Shoko blankly staring out a window, lighting cigarettes only to forget them and let them burn out on their own. Gojo had closed himself off from everyone, and no amount of knocking in his door could get him out. She still had no clue if he'd even been inside or if they'd been wasting their time.

Utahime cleared her throat and pushed the book aside. "And so they were too stupid boys with too big of heads and too much power, and all they did was make life hell for everyone around here by being snotty assholes about it. So no, it was nothing glamorous like this book about them suggests."

Yuta pondered her words for a moment. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course," Utahime responded quickly. "You don't need to ask my permission for that."

"You're very forward about your hatred for Gojo and Geto," Yuta pointed out, "so why did Gojo bring you here?"

Caught off guard, Utahime faltered. She hadn't expected such a forward question, especially one she didn't know how to answer. It was more complicated than she could explain, so she hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip in thought, long enough for Yuta to panic.

"I'm– I'm sorry! I shouldn't have presumed–"

"No, I–" Utahime took a breath. "I'm not upset. It's just...hard to explain…" She gazed down at the book at the edge of the table, thinking about that glorified history of Geto and Gojo that started with Gojo's turn against jujutsu society. It hadn't even sounded like their words. "I don't hate them – either of them, to be honest. They were younger than me, so I was their senior, but they were also stronger than me and never let me forget that. Being around them was...difficult."

Yuta shifted uncomfortably. "Did they mock you for your weakness?"

"Gojo more than Geto," Utahime answered truthfully. A crestfallen look came over Yuta, the first sign of disappointment that she'd seen in him. "We were all young, foolish, arrogant. I let it get to me more than I should have. Gojo was all too eager to exploit it, and Geto enjoyed pushing him. It was a game, one I could never win, and they knew that too."

It was still a game. Everything was like that with Gojo. She used to think Geto was different, but no, he simply played a different strategy. It had taken her too long to figure that out. By the time she had, it was too late. They were older now, wiser and stronger, but she wasn't about to let herself forget that. There was still a game at hand, except she didn't know the rules. Gojo had forced her into playing, but no doubt Geto would switch things up. That had always been their style.

Yuta glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's late. You should return to your quarters."

Utahime didn't argue with him. She stood up, taking the book before he could and returning it to its place on a shelf. It hadn't been that much of an interesting read anyway, but it gave her some prime ammo to throw in Gojo's face later. Some of the descriptions of him had been far too flowery. They left the room, Yuta trailing behind her. She turned around to ask him about Mai, as she hadn't seen her in the past two days, only to collide with someone and for tea to be spilled all over her front.

While Utahime stood stock still, hot tea dripping from her clothes, a young woman standing before her burst into tears. "I'm so sorry! I was rushing, and I didn't see you when you rounded the corner, and I–" She dropped to her knees, laying herself face first down on the ground at Utahime's feet, nearly clinging to them. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I–"

"It's okay!" Utahime burst, suddenly getting her wits about her. She crouched down and took the girl by the arms, practically dragging her back to her feet. "I'm not mad. You're not to blame. It was an accident. You're okay."

Tears spilled down the young woman's red cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Utahime said gently. "Now, let's get this cleaned up, shall we? Then, you can make some new tea, and it'll be like nothing happened. We can say I made you late." The woman hesitated, gawking at her as if she'd grown a third head, no doubt because she was a non-sorcerer and wasn't used to sorcerers treating her this way. "Yuta, could you please get some towels? We're near the kitchen, aren't we?"

"I, um–" Yuta jumped into action. "Yes, of course."

He disappeared around the corner the girl had come from. She was shaking into Utahime's hands, absolutely terrified out of her mind. It pissed Utahime off. No one should've felt so scared about such a simple accident. What normally happened to people who made silly mistakes like this? Even Yuta, kind and shy as he was with her, hadn't bothered to step in or say anything to soothe her. So much for their world being a more equal place.

"You're not in trouble," Utahime reassured her. "It was an accident. We'll fix it up in no time."

"But–" The girl's voice warbled. "Your clothes are ruined."

"They're just clothes," Utahime said. "Besides, it serves that idiot right for getting me something so expensive when I didn't ask for them. I was half in mind to cut them up myself."

Something akin to a smile began to appear on the woman's face when a man's voice quipped from behind her, "Being nice to the help? How humiliating. Gojo must be really lowering his standards if he's letting someone this pathetic in his bed."

The poor woman froze, fear written across her pale face, but Utahime simply took a deep breath. She gave the woman a comforting smile and held up a hand, letting her know to stay quiet. When she turned around, she found herself face-to-face with a tall man with a lean muscular build. There was a bandage over his right eye, pushing up his dark hair, but his visible eye was filled with mocking contempt.

The smile didn't leave Utahime's face. She'd suffered his type before far too many times.

"I've always found it rather pitiful when people pick on those with less strength and power than them," she replied, her voice calm, almost polite. "It usually says something about their own strength more than anything."

An ugly look crossed the man's face. "You've no room to speak. You're just another one of Gojo's little whores–"

Before he could shove her aside, a katana sliced through the air, nearly chopping the man's hand off. He jerked it back at the last second, and they both stared at the weapon that had cut through the wooden floor between them. Utahime lifted her eyes from the sword, to the hand holding it, and then up the arm to look Yuta in the eyes.

Except he wasn't the sad, nervous boy she remembered from before.

Dark curse energy burned from him, so powerful that she almost staggered backward. There was a cold look on his face; it was so intense that the non-sorcerer shivered behind her. She couldn't even sense the extent of Yuta's curse energy, perhaps only a faint whiff of it, but that look said it all. Utahime had no doubt that if she asked Yuta to kill this man, he'd do it without blinking. Even the man had stilled, discomfort pouring from him as he held himself tensely.

"Negi," Yuta simply said.

The man's lips curled into a sneer in response. "Ah, Gojo has you playing guard duty for one of his bed warmers, huh? That's pathetic."

"If you so much as dare touch her, I'll be forced to cut your arm off," Yuta told him, his voice flat, entirely devoid of emotion. "That would probably be kinder than what Gojo would do if you knew what you said to her."

Negi, the other sorcerer, spit at Yuta's feet. "You're a disgrace – you and that fucking curse. A waste of cursed energy and technique in a sad, little boy's body."

There was absolutely nothing in Yuta's eyes. They were near-dead, unblinking, reminding Utahime of Gojo when he had considered killing those people in the forest right in front of her. She didn't shiver, but it was hard not to react. Yes, this boy had most definitely been taught by Gojo. Suddenly, she was reminded of what Mai had said about him and Yuta's description of this place.

He would be ruthless if that was required of him.

"Leave," Yuta said. "You're lucky I'm not forcing you to apologize, but I know Utahime wouldn't want me to bring you to your knees. She's very nice."

Giving them one last withering look, Negi stalked off without another word, stomping down the hallway in a fury. Yuta watched him go, the darkness surrounding him only leaving once Negi had vanished around a corner. It seeped away from him, slithering back from where it came, and he casually slipped the katana into its sheath on his back. In a flash, he was back to the boy she'd become familiar with, nervously fiddling with his hair and unable to meet her eyes.

Was it embarrassment or shame this time? She didn't know.

"Here are the towels," Yuta mumbled, holding them out with his other hand. "I can help."

Before Utahime could say anything, the woman snatched the towels from him, dropping to her knees and frantically cleaning up the mess. As much as Utahime wanted to help, she had a feeling the poor servant was at her limit, so she let Yuta take her arm and guide her away toward her room. The whole interaction hurt – the woman's fear, the sorcerer's condemnation, Yuta's coldness. She wanted to scream, throw something against a wall, maybe even cry.

Yuta swallowed. "Are you angry?"

"Yes," Utahime said. His shoulders fell, and he glanced away. "But not at you." As shocked as she'd been by the sudden change in his demeanor, she knew he was only doing his job, going so far as to tailor it for her needs and not Gojo's harsher demands. "But that woman… Will she get in trouble?"

"Probably," Yuta admitted sheepishly. "Negi will likely come back and cause problems for her as payback for being humiliated."

Utahime clenched her hands into fists. "I don't want that to happen."

Bowing his head, Yuta mumbled, "I'm sorry."

She stopped in front of the door to her quarters and turned to him. Before Yuta could leave, she took his hands in her, and he stiffened instantly. She knew physical touch tended to startle him – apparently, Rika didn't like it when other people touched him, and he wasn't familiar with it either – but she did so anyway knowing the potential consequences. Sometimes, such rashness was necessary to get a point across. Having been taught by Gojo, surely he would understand that.

"Yuta, I need you to do something for me," Utahime told him very seriously. "I need you to go back there and make sure she isn't punished."

Yuta shook his head jerkily. "I-I can't do that. I–"

"Yes, you can," Utahime insisted. "You have more power than many of these sorcerers combined. It doesn't matter what they think. If they fear you, then they don't understand you, but they'll listen to you. And Gojo trusts you, doesn't he? Isn't that important?"

Blinking, Yuta hesitated, but then slowly muttered, "Yes…"

"You're stronger than you think you are," Utahime told him. "You're important too. It's… It's important to take care of those weaker than us. You're taking care of me, aren't you?"

"But you aren't weak."

"In most people's eyes, I am, but I'll do whatever I can to protect those beneath me."

Utahime could sense he was still struggling as he considered her request. So far, he'd done nearly everything she asked of him, obedient to a fault. He'd hesitated to help the servant clean up, and she had no doubt now that he'd killed non-sorcerers on command. He might've come off as indifferent to them, but defending a non-sorcerer, protecting one, was probably uncomfortable and difficult for him to understand.

"If she's punished, I will be incredibly upset," Utahime added. "Gojo doesn't want me upset, does he? Didn't he ask you to make sure I was taken care of?"

Yuta straightened, something registering finally. "Of-Of course. If you're upset, then I'll have failed Gojo. I don't– I don't want that." He nodded, a bit to himself. "Okay, I'll make sure she isn't punished. It… It was an accident, after all, right?"

"Right, yes, it was an accident," Utahima said quickly, squeezing his hands. "You didn't mean to hurt those people with Rika before Gojo found you, right?" He nodded again, more emphatically this time, more aware. "You didn't deserve to be punished for something out of your control. Neither does she. I wasn't upset about the mess, but I will be devastated if she's hurt over something as innocent as this."

"Okay, I understand." A determined look came over Yuta. When she let go of his hands, he turned on his heels and rushed away.

The moment he was gone, Utahime's shoulders slumped, and then she slipped into her room. It was the first time she'd entered without the door being locked behind her, but she was too wound up to find any comfort in it. Yuta would do as he was asked, and no one would dare question him. If word got back to Geto or Gojo and they gave him hell, she would likely throttle one of them, leaders of this stupid cult be damned. She wasn't certain she could actually do anything to Geto that wouldn't make him mock her, but she could at least make Gojo suffer, and he'd in turn make Geto's life annoying for a bit.

Things had always gone full circle with them.

Undoing the belt of her pants, she slid them down and stepped out of them, setting them aside in the room. She peeled her shirt off next, staring down at the tea stain that had spread across the white material. Considering how much blood they got on their clothes, whoever did the laundry here was probably used to washing out stains. It was a dark, dry thought that made her think of Nobara or Mai, both girls quick to say something that made others flinch.

She set it aside as well and sighed, moving to take off her bra, which was also wet, when a horribly familiar voice piped up in a pleasant tone, "I thought that boy would never stop haunting your shadows, but thankfully, you sent him away for me."

Utahime jumped, letting out a tiny yelp, and spun around as she covered her front with her arms, locking eyes with Geto leaning against the door. So lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't even heard the door open, and yet here he was, standing before her in the flesh. His dark eyes were focused on her, the lack of interest in them downright unsettling. He was looking at her as if she was nothing more than an ant he wanted to step on and squash, not even out of disgust or entertainment.

She was almost entirely laid bare – and meant absolutely nothing to him.

"Geto, I–"

"How are you finding it here?" he interrupted casually. "I was told you've been given a grand tour of the place and spent the past week learning as much as possible. You were always such an eager student, and you've proven to be a decent enough teacher."

Neither his friendly tone nor the soft smile on his face reached his eyes, but he knew that. He'd always been an excellent liar, even with her, so if he wasn't letting them reach, it was on purpose. He wanted her to be thrown off. He wanted her scared. And she was scared, truth be told, but she was also furious. Standing here naked before him, it was impossible to hide those emotions from him, which only made him smile more.

"You can stop with the fake pleasantries," Utahime told him rather snippily. "I know you're not happy to see me here."

Geto laid a hand over his heart. "I'm always happy to see an old friend come to our side."

"That's not why I'm here, and you know that."

For a brief moment, Geto didn't do anything – he didn't change his expression, didn't say a word, didn't even move – but then he let it all fade, and his demeanor changed to match his eyes. No, he wasn't pleased with her presence, especially since he knew she hadn't come here willingly. Gojo had taken her for his own entertainment and reasons whether Geto had agreed with them or not. The sight of her was just another slight against him, a petty act of disobedience from Gojo.

"I didn't think he'd actually bring you here," Geto said, contempt dripping from every word. "He couldn't wait to rub it in my face that you'd begged him to take you with him."

Utahime scoffed. "Yes, I just couldn't live without him anymore."

She did want to ask Geto where Gojo was, especially now, but she had a feeling that was what he wanted her to do, so he could rub it in her face. For whatever reason, Gojo was gone, and Geto very likely had something to do with it. After all, she highly doubted he would've risked sneaking into her room while she was changing with Gojo around.

"What do you want?" Utahime felt as if she was asking the same questions on repeat, but she honestly didn't know their intentions with her. Perhaps Gojo simply wanted to have some fun with her. Maybe he'd grown bored with his little "groupies" here that flocked over him and desired someone that would actually make it a challenge.

As for Geto… He most likely just wanted to do away with her. She wasn't worth the trouble.

"You're in my home now," Geto explained coldly. "I let you have your week so you could get settled and see things for yourself, so you could become acclimated to our rules." He wrinkled his nose in distaste, just as Gojo had done when talking about the higher-ups. "But you're still soft on those monkeys, I see. You were always weak about that, always too willing to help them even when they turned their backs on you for either being just a pretty girl or not beautiful enough."

"They're humans too," Utahime snapped. "They have a right to live just as much as us."

"They pollute the world with their uncontrollable negative energy, tainting everything they touch, bringing curses upon curses on us," Geto pointed out harshly. "You'd give them something to feed even after they bite your hand so many times." He scoffed and shook his head. "Even the higher-ups treat you like garbage, and yet you're still willing to grovel at their feet as they whip you. It's almost sad with how pathetic you allow yourself to be – how much you let them debase you when you're worth more than them."

He sneered at her, all those niceties gone. His unique curse energy flowed from him – powerful, dark, and smothering, making her feel sick. Ah, there was the boy she remembered, the one that could give her a simple look and she'd shiver as she looked away. She felt that way now, her body visibly trembling, but it was more with anger this time than fear. What did she have to fear? It wasn't that she thought Gojo would fight for her or Yuta would return to rescue her. The worst he could do was kill her, right?

She'd grown comfortable with the concept of her own death. Be it against curses or curse users, jujutsu sorcerers risked their lives day in and day out, but after Gojo turned, it had felt inevitable that she would die at one of their hands.

"You're such a bastard," Utahime finally spit out.

Instead of insulting her further, Geto burst into laughter. She stiffened, startled by the reaction, but didn't question him on it either. When he finally stopped, he grinned and said, "You haven't lost your spirit to fight then. That's good. I was genuinely worried the higher-ups might've fully stomped it out of you. They were so intent on turning you into a mindlessly loyal, pretty lapdog."

Utahime folded her arms across her chest, still trying to cover herself up, and looked away, glaring at the wall. "You didn't have to be so cruel to find out."

"I wanted to see it for myself," Geto admitted. "You were always so eager to fight back with Satoru back in the day, but you avoided me. I can't recall ever being alone with you."

"You never seemed interested in me either," Utahime shot back.

"I wasn't," Geto replied coolly. "I'm not now, but Satoru just had to bring you. He was an annoying asshole about it." He held out a dismissive hand. "He's never questioned me about my desires, so who am I to deny him his fun in the end?" Casual as he was now, his eyes were still sharp. "I trust you won't cause any problems or be a distraction to him and our goals."

Utahime lifted one hand from her bicep. "You won't even know I'm here."

Geto sighed. "I'm afraid I won't have a choice. Satoru likely won't shut up until he's done with you. I'll just have to make do until then."

His words shouldn't have made Utahime's heart sink, but they did. Until Gojo was done with her. Of course. In Geto's eyes, she really was just a toy for his partner to play with until he either tired of her or broke her, and then he'd toss her aside for the next one. Whether that was the truth or not, she supposed she wouldn't find out until it happened.

"Sorry to ruin your month," Utahime grumbled.

"You are better than those other idiots that he entertains himself with from time to time when he's being a petty brat," Geto mused. She didn't think it was much of a compliment, especially when he looked so unimpressed with her himself. "He's positive you have potential to join our side, so I suppose I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I promised not to kill you if you don't provide results, at least."

"How benevolent of you, oh great leader," Utahime said dryly.

Geto tilted his head, considering her. "I can see what Satoru sees in you. All that pandering does get a little grating, but there's none of that with you. It's refreshing. In the beginning, it took such work to recruit and I hated having to go to lengths for idiot-minded people, but it's rather nice to argue with someone again that isn't Satoru. With him at my side now, most people either fall in line or just die."

Oh, she knew. She'd seen far too many people fall victim to them in both ways. Mai had turned sides, vanishing into thin air. Mei Mei had as well, less than a month after Gojo had turned. She went where the money went, and so she left without looking back. That had stung. Nanami had even stated he didn't blame any of them for switching sides, though he remained solidly on theirs despite privately disliking many of the higher-up's decisions. He still didn't agree with Gojo and Geto's tactics, all the senseless murder, or the way they dragged things out.

"I hope I don't disappoint you," Utahime said in the same pleasant, saccharine voice she used on the higher-ups and clan leaders. She turned her back to him, acutely aware of the vulnerable position she'd put herself in, but she couldn't stand to be under his gaze any longer. "Now, can you please leave so I can finish changing?"

"Hm, perhaps I can see something else he sees," Geto considered thoughtfully. She tensed when she realized he'd stepped closer to her. Turning her back on him must've pushed him forward. She'd made the same mistake with Gojo her first night here. They really were alike in many ways, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

Instead of remaining still as she'd done with Gojo, Utahime huffed and raised one hand to undo her bow, continuing on as if he wasn't in the room. "Oh? What's that?"

Geto caught her by the wrist, stilling her hand in the air. Other than that, he kept his distance from her, a few inches between his chest and her back in between them. "Let me."

With his other hand, he took the end of her bow and pulled on the ribbon, easily undoing it and allowing the rest of her hair to fall down. He held out the ribbon to her in his palm at her side. She looked at it for a second and then slowly took it from him, clutching it against her chest as her heart raced inside, willing it not to betray her to him. She couldn't remember ever being this close to Geto. He was right: she had avoided him, even when others always commented about how much nicer he was than Gojo.

"It isn't fair how the higher-ups have treated you, holding you back simply because of the scar on your face," Geto told her. "They treated you worse than those–" When she tensed up, he caught himself and chuckled. "I won't call them that around you. I know you don't like the term, and I'm trying to be polite." The tight hold he had on her wrist suggested otherwise. "They're using you without letting you grow simply because you don't fit their version of perfection. It's unfair."

Utahime frowned. "It doesn't matter. That's not–"

"But they're wrong, as usual," Geto cut in smoothly. "You've grown into a very beautiful woman."

Flushing deeply, Utahime jerked her hand out of Geto's grip, and he let it go. Gojo would've held on for longer, but Geto even took a step back to give her more space. It would've been a gallant gesture if she wasn't still only in her bra and underwear. Even though he wasn't touching her, he was still close enough to reach her should he change his mind, and her bare skin still seemed to burn under his gaze. It was dangerous .

Gojo, she thought deliriously, fear sinking its fangs into her as Geto's curse energy crawled over her skin. I want Gojo.

But he wasn't here, so she would have to take care of herself.

"Geto," Utahime said in a tight voice. "Please leave. Now. I'm not in the mood to play your games."

When she glanced back at him over her shoulder, Geto gave her a mildly disappointed look. "Kicking me out already? I was hoping to spend some more time with you to understand Satoru's fascination." A sheepish look crossed his face, and he politely bowed. "I know you pride yourself on your modesty, so you must be embarrassed. I apologize for intruding on you so rudely like this."

She couldn't tell if it was mocking or not. For all she knew, he was genuinely apologetic for unsettling her in such a way by walking in on her like this. He had no need to appease her. He could've come in here and mocked her the entire time, so it must've been some sort of game, most likely one with Gojo.

They'd shared so much of everything before. Was a little fun with her any different in their minds?

The room was filled with so much tension that when the door burst open, Utahime dropped the ribbon, but it was only Yuta, his face flushed, exclaiming, "Utahime, I–" His eyes widened at the state of her undress, and then he jerked his gaze to Geto. It shouldn't have been possible for his face to go from red to pale so quickly.

For his part, Geto appeared completely unperturbed by the interruption. "Yuta."

"Geto, I'm– I didn't know you-you were here," Yuta managed to stammer out, his focus entirely on the older man. It was as if Utahime wasn't even in the room, the poor boy's body stiff and alert. "I was– I was just returning to alert Utahime that I'd finished her request."

"You didn't even bother knocking before entering." Geto tsked disapprovingly and gestured to Utahime. "Look at the state she's in." Yuta determinedly did not look in her direction, his eyes still locked on Geto. "You know, Gojo would hate you seeing her like this."

Yuta looked torn between passing out, getting sick, or running. Instead, he closed his eyes, turned to her, and bowed very lowly. "I apologize."

"It's okay, Yuta," Utahime forced out, as gently as possible. "We're done here. Geto was just leaving, so you can as well."

Standing upright, he nodded, his eyes still closed. They snapped open when Geto placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "You and Rika did very well on your last mission. I suppose you deserve a break." He cast a smile in Utahime's direction. "Not to worry. Utahime has always been obedient. She won't give you any grief."

Yuta nodded meekly and then slipped out of the room. Geto lifted a hand as if to say goodbye, and Utahime scowled furiously at him in return. The smile didn't leave his face even as he shut the door behind himself. Luckily, she didn't think Geto would punish Yuta; the humiliation was enough to sate his ego over being interrupted. She didn't drop her arms from her chest until she heard the door click locked. Once she was fully alone, her legs buckled, and she crumpled to the floor next to her mat.

Slowly, that sickening energy faded from the room, but Utahime's stomach still turned. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her mouth on top of her knees, hiding the bottom of her face. He just had to put her in her place, didn't he? Had to make her aware that she was only alive under his roof in his temple because he allowed her to be. He didn't want her here, and he wanted her to know that as well, but he'd tolerate her, so graciously, for Gojo's sake.

Maybe it would make him more pliable if he was having fun. Gojo had been like that before – easier to work with and more willing to listen if he was in a good mood.

He would not be in a good mood if he found out about what Geto had done, a fact that was not lost on Utahime. Sometimes, pissing him off and pulling the rug out from under his feet was a good way to put him in his place as well.

Whatever the reason, Utahime didn't feel good about it. Being Gojo's source of entertainment was one thing, but she'd felt like a plaything in Geto's hands, a toy he didn't want for himself but also didn't want anyone else to have either. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stretch out, blaming the cold air on the way her skin prickled.

Was that what his curses felt like?

Notes:

Leave my son alone! Also Utahime. I would say Mai too, but lbr she's thriving and GOOD FOR HER.

Chapter 5

Notes:

Gojo's baaaaack, and he's pissed. I'm genuinely irritated that that's one of my kinks when it comes to some characters, but here we are, living it out anyway. What is the point of writing if not writing what we enjoy and want?

Chapter Text

Not even twelve hours after Geto darkened her room with his intimidating presence, Gojo made his reappearance. He came in like a storm, violent and abrupt, sweeping her out to sea before she could even react.

Just as he had every morning, Yuta showed up at her door with a fresh change of clothes. They got something from the kitchen, found a place to sit, and ate their food in relative silence. After that, he would either take her around the place to grow familiar with other members or let her choose somewhere to go. Most of the time, she found herself wandering. Many of the higher ranked sorcerers seemed resentful of Yuta and lower ones were afraid of him, so she didn't like the way he was treated. Only when Mai accompanied them did things feel lighter, even if she spent the majority of the time teasing Yuta or disparaging other people.

Today, however, she'd wanted to take a peek at the lessons. As a teacher herself, she couldn't help but be curious about what they taught here, especially considering the wide variety of people that came here. There were different age groups, ranging from young children with newly manifested techniques to adults who were just now figuring out how to use their curse energy. There were also different levels, from grade four to first grade sorcerers.

From what she could tell, aside from Geto and Gojo, Yuta was the only special grade sorcerer that lived on the compound, but she doubted he was the only one. They visited as needed, when they were called back for a meeting or perhaps if both Geto and Gojo had to leave. Some of their strongest members, those that held commanding positions, were likely positioned in important places throughout the world. Such a role wasn't what Yuta had been trained for, and so he was kept relatively close.

(After all, the most dangerous dogs were kept on a tight, short leash.)

Utahime had been watching over a younger class, the ages of the children ranging from about four to eight. There was a variance in strength already, but she thought they might be stronger than the typical children she was used to seeing. Perhaps it was from having practiced with their curse energy more or having survived in harsher environments due to the growing resentment against sorcerers. With Gojo and Geto so capable of laying waste, it was a rush to find and teach anyone with jujutsu abilities, as if they were trying to populate an army more than fill up a school.

A young boy and girl sat in the corner away from the others, shy and unused to the makeshift classroom setting. Utahime recognized them as the children she'd been assigned to take in. Of course, the mission itself had been a sham. They hadn't expected her to actually rescue them, instead using the whole thing as bait. The children and curses for Geto and her for Gojo. The children were cleaned up now, wearing nice clothes, their hair cut and faces washed. They were still hoarding food, feeding scraps to two ugly, little, twin curses curled around their legs.

She couldn't tell if they were possessive or protective, but the curses were theirs, the only thing in the world that had accepted them until now, having been rejected by non-sorcerers.

Focused on the children in the classroom, Utahime felt a wave of curse energy wash over her before she saw anything, so strong that she stiffened instinctually. Leaning against the wall, Yuta nearly crushed his cellphone in his hands, the energy powerful enough to startle him. Utahime barely had time to turn on her heels to face the source when Gojo came upon her, catching her in his whirlwind and dragging her into his world.

Without even saying a word of greeting, Gojo grabbed her arm and slid his other hand around the back of her head, pressing her back hard against the wall. She started to yelp in surprise, but he swallowed the sound with a kiss, bending down to capture her lips with his. It didn't matter to him that they weren't alone or anyone could happen upon them. He crowded her with his body, leaving her trapped between him and the wall, and kissed her so fiercely that she could barely breathe.

It would've been humiliating if not for the fact that Gojo didn't allow her the time to think. He worked his lips against hers as if he needed to kiss her in order to survive, giving her just enough time to gasp a breath before kissing her again. It was demanding, furious, possessive, and her mind swirled at the implications. It was something she would never be able to explain to Mai – how Gojo could make her feel like she was the only thing in the world centering him. He made her feel like he needed her to keep from losing it entirely, and it was all she could do to match his energy.

By the time she realized she was kissing him back just as much, it was too late to stop herself or question why she'd responded without hesitation.

Only when she reached up to tentatively touch the side of his face did Gojo stop, pulling back just enough so he could rest his forehead against hers. Even he was panting as she struggled to catch her breath, her eyes closed so she could still pretend it was just them.

"Go, Yuta," Gojo breathed out, a hint of coldness in his voice.

Utahime didn't open her eyes to watch Yuta leave, but even though his footsteps were silent, she knew he'd made himself very scarce. She shifted against Gojo and frowned. "Don't be so mean to him. He didn't do anything wrong."

His body was brimming with anger that she could actually feel, but then he let out a breath. That overwhelming curse energy slowly faded away as he let the rage bleed out. "You're right. He didn't." She opened her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, watching as annoyance flickered across his face. "Fucking Suguru. He did it on purpose – sent me halfway across the world on some bullshit business, even set up that accident with the tea. He needed you alone, so he got me away and he knew you'd want to protect a non-sorcerer, so you'd send Yuta to take care of her, and–"

"I'm fine," Utahime told him. "Geto just wanted to talk. This is his place too."

"Yeah, but you're mine," Gojo snapped without even thinking.

Utahime pulled on her arm, but he didn't let go right away. When she pulled more insistently, he seemed to remember himself and released her, his hand hovering over her as if he wanted to grab her again. She took a deep breath and then raised her other hand so she could hold Gojo's face. As much as she wanted to argue with him and berate him for daring to lay such a firm claim on her, she knew now wasn't the time. She'd push back later if he brought it up again.

"I'm fine ," Utahime repeated. "Geto didn't hurt me. He wanted to make sure I knew where I stood here, maybe stir me up or intimidate me into being submissive." Gojo shifted irritably, but he let her hold him. She could literally feel him calming down under her touch. "It doesn't matter. He was just being a brat."

Gojo snorted. "A brat. Isn't that what I normally am?"

"Well, maybe you rubbed off on him too much." Utahime slid one hand up, over the black bandana covering his eyes and into his hair. Her fingers dug through the locks, and then she gave a pointed tug to bring his mind back to her. "Don't get so worked up, not here. It'll unsettle the children. You know how sensitive they can be to curse energy. They can probably feel you from inside the classrooms and don't know what's going on."

"Such a diligent teacher, even now," Gojo teased. His voice sounded off, strained even, and she could tell he'd forced the joke. Even though he'd managed to calm down some, there was still tension in his body, his jaw tight under her hand. "C'mere."

He stepped away from her, then took her by the wrist, dragging her down the hallway with him. His long legs forced her to nearly jog to keep up with his determined strides. She'd question him on where he was taking her, but she knew he wouldn't answer her. He'd just grin back at her and wink at best, tell her the surprise would be worth it, so she might as well save her breath. She might need it. Her heart fluttered at the thought, even as her brain scolded her for it.

She couldn't just let him have her. It didn't matter who he was or what he was capable of doing. She shouldn't let him have her at all. He would only demand more of her, and what else could she possibly give him?

After walking around long enough for her calves to burn from the awkward half-jog, Gojo came to a halt, causing her to slam into his side. He ignored it, jerking open a door and pulling her inside. She staggered again, only to be caught around the middle by one of his long arms. He kicked the door shut and leaned back against it, bringing her with him to rest against his chest.

"I wasn't gonna keep you from him forever," Gojo mumbled, resting the side of his face on the crown of her head. His arms were wrapped around her, keeping her in place. She held onto one of them, her fingers digging into his forearm. Squirming to get out of this hold would've been useless, so after a bit of fidgeting, she went still. "I just wanted for you a bit longer for myself – before he stuck his nose into my business. He's always doing that. I'd almost say he's jealous."

"What's there to be jealous of?" Utahime asked. "He thinks I'm just something for you to pass the time with until you grow bored again."

He always went back to Geto, didn't he? They had been like that as students and as young adults. As much as they fought each other, they always came back to each other as well. It was like Gojo couldn't help himself. The only one that could match him was Geto, his only equal, so it was only natural for Gojo to gravitate towards him in the end. She was little more than a star, glittering in the distance, pretty to gaze at, but one that would fade under the glow of their sun and moon.

"He thinks he knows everything," Gojo said, "but he doesn't."

"Then what am I to you? Why am I here?" Utahime didn't want to ask it, but maybe Geto's words had gotten under skin just a bit. He was good at that, little things he said exploding later like a timed bomb and wrecking everything in its wake. "Yuta said…" She chewed on her bottom lip. "Yuta said you told him I was important to you."

Gojo nuzzled his nose in her hair. "You are." He squeezed her tighter. "It didn't feel right – you being on the other side. You're stubborn and loyal to a fault, but I know you belong here." He slowly loosened his hold on her, but his hands didn't leave her. One of them slid further down her stomach, holding her in place against him, while the other moved up to her neck. He didn't hold it like he had before, but it still made her pulse tick upward. "Besides, I couldn't let anyone else have you."

"Greedy much?" Utahime asked, her voice too breathy for her liking. One of her hands fell to his thigh, holding onto him as if to anchor herself.

So much taller than her, Gojo had to bend his body in a way that had to be uncomfortable, pushing her back away from his chest, but he leaned over her, kissing her neck. "Yes," he admitted. "I didn't want someone to take you. It pissed me off just thinking about it."

"You're so selfish," Utahime huffed, even as she tilted her neck to the side to give him more room.

"Always, but with you, even more so," Gojo said with a low laugh, his breath hot on her skin. "Did you want that? Were you looking to settle down with someone? Get married, start a family? It's possible, even these days. A bit of light in the dark, right? Were you wishing to be some sorcerer's obedient, little wife, the doting and loving mother to a handful of children you carried yourself?"

Utahime dug her fingers into his leg. "You're being ridiculous."

He ignored the insult, morphing into something almost as cruel as Geto and pettier as well, each word a knife digging further under her skin. "Gotta start popping out other little sorcerers like a proper woman, right?" He bit down on her neck, a little too hard, and she whimpered, jerking away from him slightly. He pulled her back, kissing the same spot soothingly, but it still hurt. "Did you want someone considerate – someone that would be respectful, loyal, empathetic? Someone that wouldn't hurt you, no doubt. Nanami would've been good for that. He's a grade one as well. The higher-ups would've approved of that match, and he wouldn't fault you for what they do."

"Stop it, Gojo," Utahime snapped, squirming even more in his grasp.

His hand on her stomach slid up further, every inch making her breath hitch more in her throat. She wiggled, trying to slip out of his grasp, but then the hand on her neck tightened just a hair. All she could do was twist her head to look away, her chest rising and falling with every panting breath, as Gojo's hand traveled up her body. When he finally ran it over her chest, his hand ghosting over her breasts, a little noise escaped her. His hips moved against hers almost instinctively, the feel of his arousal taking her by surprise.

"Or maybe they wouldn't have given you a choice in the end," Gojo said, darkly amused. "The clans are all in disarray. A temperamental teenager in charge of the Inumaki clan, an unwanted bastard heir to the Kamo clan, a despised monster leading the Zen'in clan and dominating the others."

His hold on her was possessive, angry, even frightening. He tugged on her ear with his teeth, nearly making her wince. The more she struggled to pull away from him, the more his hands roved over her body, finding the hidden spots she didn't tell anyone about that made her whimper and tremble, pleasure lighting up her body. With every noise she made, he grew more insistent, rocking himself against her in a way that made her mind spin. She wanted to slap him, kiss him, pull his hair, yell at him, beg him to stop toying with her and just do something already.

"Naoya might be arrogant enough to believe you're damaged, but he knows how to use people," he continued ruthlessly, making her bite her tongue almost hard enough to cause it to bleed. "The higher-ups could've decided you'd be more useful providing him whelps, let him use you until you had nothing left to give. He's in desperate need of an heir, or he's liable to lose the clan to Megumi, and you're such a good teacher, all too willing to behave and do as you're told."

Tears burned at the edges of Utahime's eyes. She closed them, willing the tears to go away, but a few managed to slide down her cheeks. She'd expected this kind of cruelty from Geto, but not from Gojo. It was as if he was punishing her – or maybe even punishing himself, bringing up all the things he hated the most. Touching and holding her in ways he'd dreamed of while speaking all sorts of nightmares to life.

His hand left her neck, and he brushed the tears away from her cheeks with his thumb. "That's the kind of life you had waiting for you with them," he told her, not meanly as before, wrapping his other arm around her waist. "You know it's true. They would've used you up however way they could."

"And what will you do, Gojo?" she asked.

What will Geto do? she wondered.

"I can give you what you need," Gojo murmured in her ear. Not what she wanted, of course, because he knew better. She'd realized that one day, was what he left out. "I couldn't let them have you – let you go to waste."

"Because I'm not theirs?"

"No," Gojo growled. She swallowed but managed not to squirm or make a sound. "And you're not Suguru's either. He did that on purpose. I hate that he saw you like that – he cornered you like a mouse – and he did it just to prove a point. That was mine, and he took it without even a hint of shame. Asshole. He knew I'd give you space, so he just–"

Utahime took in a shallow breath. "I didn't take you for the jealous type."

"I wasn't," Gojo said. "But it's different with you." He pressed his lips to her cheek, the kiss so chaste and innocent compared to the hold he had on her. "Maybe I wanted something that was my own. We share everything else. He was never interested in you or our games, so I didn't think he'd throw such a fit."

"Maybe he doesn't want to share you ," Utahime pointed out.

Gojo paused and went silent, both of his hands falling down to her hips. He held her there, her back pressed against his chest, his chin resting on the top of her head. She could feel him thinking, the cogs winding as he considered her words. For two people that shared so much, they certainly weren't good about it. Maybe that was half the fun for them, except Gojo hadn't wanted to play the game this time and Geto was trying to force his hand. It didn't leave her much room between them for her own choice in the matter.

"He can play his stupid games," Gojo decided. "You never suffered mine in the end, so you won't entertain his either."

Utahime shook her head, her hair brushing against him. "No, I won't."

Gojo turned her around to face him, keeping one hand on her hip while he held a finger under her chin, tilting her face up to his. "Such a good girl," he sighed, the last of the tension bleeding from his body. Even a smile flickered on his face before he kissed her on the lips, so soft and warm. " My girl."

The pure affection that burned through the possessiveness of his words made her world spin. It irritated her, how much of an effect he could have on her when she'd spent the past two years telling herself that he was nothing but the enemy. A man to be knocked off his pedestal, a curse user who had turned his back on everything good and hurt countless people. And yet here she was, caving to his whims, letting him kiss her, letting him cling to her, allowing him to drag her into his world.

And for what? Was she that weak? Worn down? Pathetic? Was Geto right about her after all?

Gojo frowned against her lips. "If you're thinking about what Suguru said to you–"

"I'm not," Utahime said a touch too quickly.

I can see something else he sees, echoed in her mind.

Gojo pulled away. Even with the blindfold on, she could tell he was examining her face carefully for any signs of lying. "I'm here now," he told her instead. His thumb brushed across her face again as if marking her. "Suguru won't let it lie, but I'll make sure he doesn't overstep his boundaries again. He won't harm you. He'll probably continue being a bastard, but that's nothing you're not used to, and he'll either get over it eventually or have to deal with it. He's not the only one in control here."

Utahime's shoulders sank. She doubted even he would be capable of that, but that wasn't what was worrying her. "Gojo… I don't think I can meet your expectations. You know I don't agree with your treatment of non-sorcerers."

"I know, I know… This is new to you, but I think you'll come to understand it, even like it." Gojo stroked her hair, something that almost had her closing her eyes or keening. It was such a soft touch, one that hurt her as well. "You have a good, bleeding heart, but I'll admit there isn't much room for that in this world. You care so much that it hurts – more than most people are capable of even before."

"Is that why you assigned Yuta to guard me?" Utahime asked.

Gojo shrugged. "Maybe – and maybe I wanted to get him away from Geto. He's a bit obsessed with the idea of taking over Rika, but that would involve killing Yuta." Utahime tensed, but Gojo was quick to casually add, "He won't, of course, at least not directly. A part of him has to wonder if Rika would be as strong under his control since she's so connected with Yuta. Love is a terrible and powerful curse, isn't it?"

Yes, it was. Utahime didn't have to speak for him to know she agreed. She'd gotten a few more details from Yuta about the curse following him. Even if Geto took control over it as he did his other curses, she wasn't so sure Rika would be nearly as strong as she was with Yuta. She loved him; she would never love Geto.

Utahime could understand that quite well.

"Still," Gojo continued with a noncommittal sigh. "I'm not...fond of the harsh missions Suguru puts him on, so…"

"So you gave him to me," Utahime finished. "A broken boy with only a powerful curse as his family, feared by most and shunned by the rest. How thoughtful of you."

How kind and merciful, taking Yuta away from something that he clearly struggled to reckon with. She'd seen the way he reacted to Geto's presence. It had been nearly the same as the non-sorcerer that spilled tea on her.

"Can't say I haven't given you anything," Gojo quipped. "And I thought, what better way to showcase your abilities than with him?"

Utahime rolled her eyes. "No wonder Geto did what he could to undermine you when you did the same thing with him. You two make quite the pair."

Gojo played with the ribbon in her hair, but he didn't pull it loose like Geto had. He tugged on the edges and let the silk slide between his fingers. "I guess so." He huffed out a breath and let his head fall back against the door. "Sometimes I wonder if it was bad luck for us to be born in the same century. You probably think that." Utahime opened her mouth to say something, then hesitated. However, Gojo caught it and nodded. "Go on. Speak whatever is on your mind."

She chewed on her lip and carefully said, "I don't know. I think you two were made for each other." He eyed her blankly, his expression completely unreadable, so she shrugged. "I also think you drive each other mad. You could talk to each other instead of being so underhanded and mean."

Gojo stuck out his tongue like a child. "That sounds boring."

So much for being the most dangerous curse user in the world.

"I suppose the world would've been lost to you both if you did get along all the time," Utahime muttered under her breath. It was just loud enough for him to hear, but his lips ticked upward in a slight smile anyway, unperturbed by the comment. His reaction made her stomach twist. It was the truth, wasn't it? He must've known that, but that didn't stop him from picking fights with Geto.

Sliding a hand down to take one of hers, Gojo stepped away to unlock the door and open it. "C'mon, you can spend the rest of the day with me." He peeled his blindfold up over one eye and winked, making her flush, and he dropped it back down. "I'll show you the outskirts. I told Yuta to stay close to the main building, so there's a lot you haven't seen yet."

"Shouldn't you be with Geto?" Utahime asked, even as she let him pull out of the room. "He's probably waiting for you to storm a room and pick a fight with him."

"He's the one that made sure I was out of the way," Gojo said without looking back. "He can stand to wait a little longer. It'll be good for him to learn patience."

Personally, Utahime thought that was a terrible idea, but she supposed that was the point for Gojo. Geto would likely be furious that he hadn't come straight to him, but she wasn't sure if he would be mad at Gojo or her. She wasn't trying to be a distraction. Geto had probably anticipated that Gojo would either hunt him down to fight or search for her to check on her. He wouldn't be pleased that Gojo had chosen the latter.

Stuck in between the two men, Utahime felt more like a game piece than a player in their twisted game, unable to move on her own. Geto had made his play with her the other night, and Gojo had countered with his own move today. Utahime was not looking forward to finding out how Geto would retaliate, but she doubted it would be kind.

Boys and their toys – they never changed, did they?

Chapter 6

Notes:

slkdflkfj I feel like this chapter is kinda slow because there are lot of things that Utahime and Gojo needed to discuss in order for the rest of the fic to progress, but judging by how fast I've written the next two chapters, it worked out. So, uh, yeah, here's to Utahime bickering with her cult leader not-boyfriend/kidnapper.

Chapter Text

The difference between when Utahime walked around with Yuta compared to being given a tour of sorts with Gojo was startling. She honestly hadn't realized how much people avoided them (or at least Yuta) until she was at Gojo's side. It wasn't that people came flocking to them, but they did acknowledge Gojo a lot more. He wasn't someone who could be ignored, his presence too bright and loud. Whereas Yuta kept to the shadows, Gojo strode forward confidently, causing people's heads to turn to him instead of away.

It helped that he was in a much better mood, as if a switch had been flipped in his mind. Perhaps he'd gotten all his anger and frustration out back in that empty room. She was irritated that he'd used her to bleed it out, seeing as how he'd said some pretty shitty things, but she wouldn't hold it against him for now. Normally, she would've fought with him more, but maybe her interaction with Geto had unsettled her more than she'd thought.

She didn't want to fight with Gojo, not when she was unsure how exactly he'd react. After all, he wasn't the man she remembered. Though there were still glimpses of the person she knew, the last few years had changed him too, shaping him into someone she was still struggling to understand.

The followers they interacted with varied in behavior as well, though she figured it had to do with who they were in the group. The devotees were excited and pleased by Gojo's return, matching his energy with enthusiasm, though she did feel a few glares on her back as well. Many of them were much happier to speak with her now that Gojo was at her side instead, even expressing how happy they were to see someone else with them.

Still, after the tenth person took one of her hands in both of theirs and said something along the lines of, "Isn't it wonderful to have been chosen personally by Gojo Satoru?" Utahime was ready to blow a gasket. No, it hadn't been wonderful, especially since she'd been under the threat of a lot of deaths. Still, she smiled, very prettily, but she knew Gojo could sense her frustration by the cheeky grin on his face. It was taking everything in him not to laugh as she floundered with the people that spoke of him so gloriously.

Indeed, when an older man gave her a very low bow and said, "You are lucky to have been blessed by Gojo Satoru," Utahime could no longer help herself and muttered, "More like been cursed by his existence for over a decade."

The poor man jerked upright and gave her such a startled look that Gojo laughed. He waved the devotee away with a simple, "Aw, we've been friends for so long, so she's just teasing," and then set the old man on his way. He paused to glance back at them in confusion and then continued tending to the garden along with a few other workers.

"I swear," Utahime huffed. "One would think you piss rainbows from the way some of these people talk about you."

Gojo laughed again, genuinely gleeful. "So crass, Utahime!" He leaned down, getting in her face so suddenly that she barely avoided staggering backward. "Since when did you start speaking so out of turn like that?"

"Since you and Geto turned the world into hell," Utahime shot back.

Instead of getting mad, Gojo gazed at her without moving, the bright look still on his face. "Did we now?" He spoke softly, as if he was considering it for the first time himself, but she knew that was a lie. If his Six Eyes could afford him anything, it was seeing the results of his destruction. He knew damn well how brutal he could be. Standing upright again, he scratched the back of his head. "I guess you're right, and I don't piss rainbows. In order to deal with this, some people have got it into their heads that we're gods. Suguru likes to encourage the ideology, but I find it kind of annoying."

Utahime snorted. "You don't like people fawning over you?"

"Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the attention," Gojo said carelessly, looking out at the garden and the people working in it. Here, it was a mixture of sorcerers and non-sorcerers, but it made sense. Some of the sorcerers likely carried techniques that helped grow the plants and create life, so it was natural to use them as well. "But it's not real. They've come up with all these ideas about us, half of which aren't even true. It's pathetic."

"Why do you say that?" Utahime asked.

"Because we're not gods," Gojo pointed out.

"No, you're not," Utahime agreed. "But you've got the egos of one."

Gojo tilted his head in her direction. "You know, most people would be afraid of retribution or punishment for speaking to me like that."

"Are you going to punish me?" Utahime retorted.

A grin tugged at Gojo's lips. "I'd enjoy that a bit too much, I think."

Utahime scoffed at him and started walking again. "You're disgusting."

She could feel Gojo's amusement as he followed her, even though she had no real idea where she was going. They were reaching an area that she hadn't gone before, the trees leading into a massive, wooded area. He let her lead as she wandered until she found herself in a clearing that overlooked everything. Despite being out in the open and large, this place was tucked away from everything else, like its own private world. It was all too easy to get lost in its beauty, but there was always something that brought her back to ground.

"What are you doing here, Gojo?" Utahime asked as she stared into the woods.

"I haven't answered that well enough for you?"

Utahime dropped her gaze to the ground. "You know this isn't real. You know it's not going to work like Geto wants." She turned around to face him, willing herself to remain firm even though she felt tired and weak. "You know this is wrong, don't you? You know what you've done is terrible."

"Is it?" Gojo asked.

"Don't turn this back around on me again," Utahime snapped. "You've murdered people in cold blood, destroyed lives, ruined families. You say you're trying to rid the world of curses, but how many curses do you think were created as a consequence of your actions?"

Gojo stared back at her, his expression unreadable. She was glad for the blindfold covering his eyes; she wasn't sure if she would've been able to look him in the eyes right now. As much as he irritated her and as obnoxious and stupid as he could be, she knew he wasn't an idiot. Neither was Geto. Surely they knew this plan of theirs wasn't foolproof. Even then, despite Gojo's insistence that humans were resistant, they should've done more than this in the past two years. The world was broken, yes, but it wasn't destroyed. It wasn't cowed and hadn't been forced to bend to their will, at least not entirely.

"I don't think anything I'd say would satisfy you," Gojo stated.

Utahime huffed. "You're probably right."

"I don't enjoy this, if that's what you want to know," he continued, closing the space between them. She had, but for some reason, that wounded her even more. If he didn't enjoy it and wasn't even sure Geto's plan would work, then why did he continue to destroy so many lives? Had he given up on fighting against jujutsu's inherently cruel nature? "Killing people, even other sorcerers, is too easy, and it's an easy way out. That's not what either of us wants."

"Could've had me fooled," Utahime mumbled.

"If I wanted everyone dead, I would've done so a year ago," Gojo pointed out matter-of-factly. "I could have killed the next round of higher-ups and done it again and again until those remaining were on their hands and knees begging us to spare them. It'd be faster that way, more efficient, with the least amount of collateral damage possible. Nanami might even approve of that method."

Utahime folded her arms across her chest. "Then why don't you do that?"

"Because killing everyone won't solve anything, and it will only breed more curses in the end," Gojo told her. "If I have to shoulder the blame, if I have to be hated and feared, if I have to be the monster in everyone's eyes, the man who future generations are taught to shame, then I'll do it, because I know it'll be better than the world we had and the one we have now."

"But you're not a monster," Utahime insisted, unfolding her arms. "You're a bastard and an idiot and you've literally made me scream in frustration, but–"

"No, I am. Someone has to be hated for this. I don't mind bearing that responsibility. I've carried it for as long as I can remember. Maybe it feels better to just...accept it." Gojo let out a breath, but she could only frown. She couldn't accept that, not of him. He was better than that. "If we're going to truly do this, someone has to be the one to pull the trigger."

Utahime stepped toward him. "So Geto's the curse and you're the technique?"

An almost amused smile touched his lips. "That's such a teacher thing to say." He shook his head, probably at them both. They were a pitiful pair right now, bickering back and forth like this wasn't about the death of so many people. "I don't want to hurt people. If we can avoid it, we'll do it that way, but it is also impossible to avoid entirely."

"Especially considering you're talking about the genocide of countless people," Utahime threw at him harshly.

"You're not wrong," Gojo admitted. He ran his fingers through his messy hair, the strands sticking up even more than usual. "But that's how it is right now. I won't sugarcoat it, and I won't lie to you about it, but I want to do better. You can help me with that."

"I can't change anything when you refuse to see what's right in front of you." Utahime held up a hand and turned away from him, disgust overwhelming her for a moment. The urge to slap across the face roared inside her, but she held herself back. In private, she probably would've done it, but in public, where people could potentially see them arguing, she didn't want to tempt it. She still didn't know how he would react to being outright disrespected in front of his followers. "Arguing with you is pointless. You're as delusional as your followers."

With a huff, Gojo practically whined. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"You didn't honestly expect me to bow to your whims after a week, did you?"

"True," Gojo hummed. Besides, he probably got off on arguing, so he wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if she'd jumped on board with him right away. What a brat. "You're right. We're breaking everything, doing a lot of damage, but if we can avoid that, we will. We're able to take a more diplomatic approach these days."

"Yeah, after terrorizing the world for two years." Utahime dug her nails into her forearm. It was also true that they hadn't carried out any large attacks in a few months. That had only made everyone nervous. The higher-ups talked amongst themselves, keeping an eye out as world leaders shifted, everyone watching each other like they might turn or die at any second.

As far as they knew, they were in the eye of the storm, and the worst was yet to come.

"I'm sure Geto is enjoying himself," Utahime sighed in concession.

"He does love to captivate and intimidate a room," Gojo mused. "I've never been one for politics myself. They're kinda boring."

Utahime shook her head. "You'd make for a terrible politician. It's why you were never considered for a position as a higher-up despite your strength. You wouldn't have done anything except lord about, and you do that enough as it is."

At that, Gojo actually cackled. "Can you imagine? Me as one of those bastards? I might've taken them out sooner had they done that."

She shot him a sideways glare. "Can you not speak about that so casually?"

Gojo held up his hands. "Sorry, sorry, no more casual remarks about murder, even if they damn well deserved it." They hadn't been the best people, no – Utahime could admit that – but she wouldn't agree that they had deserved the cold deaths Gojo had given them. He'd practically erased them from existence. It still made her shiver just thinking about what he was capable of when he didn't hold himself back.

No wonder so many of these people thought he was a god.

"You're really good at getting people on your side," Utahime muttered snidely.

"Eh, I suppose that's Suguru's forte, not mine," Gojo admitted, "but I'd rather not resort to that just yet." He rubbed the back of his neck and frowned at the building, his gaze locked on a specific location. Maybe it had something to do with Geto. She wasn't sure. "I've never had to be convincing with my words."

"No, you didn't," Utahime said, "and you've never been good with your words."

Gojo wrinkled his nose. "It's hard."

"Poor boy, having to work for once," Utahime mocked half-heartedly, standing on her tiptoes so she could reach up and ruffle his hair on the back of his head. It was foolish and stupid, and she hated how she could feel herself being pulled toward him even when she was furious and upset. She wanted to stay far away from him, but then again, the idea that she would have to deal with Geto was far worse. She didn't want to know what that would entail, but she could tell Gojo was unwilling to let it happen too.

A faint smile ghosted his lips. "There's some good here too, isn't there?"

Utahime took a deep breath and begrudgingly said, "Yes." She stepped away from the trees, back toward the main building. "There are things I will never agree with – methods I loathe and refuse to condone – but I'll admit there are other things I might...prefer. You and Geto have clearly learned from the mistakes and missteps in jujutsu society."

There was a sense of harmony here that even Utahime yearned for back home – not quite peace, but an understanding of jujutsu and its place in the world, in people. Instead of a constant power struggle, there was a desire to nurture, to grow, to support. She watched as young children were taught self-control, to appreciate their curse energy and techniques as gifts to cherish, the importance of working as a team, and more. She saw sorcerers that might've been shoved to the wayside actually making a difference and being treated fairly.

Yes, there were sorcerers that were strong that resented such a thing – that thought they deserved to be treated as more because of their curse energy or techniques – but largely due to Geto and Gojo's combined strength, no one could dare question them. Utahime honestly wasn't sure if it was more of Geto's vision than Gojo's, but it didn't matter to the majority of their followers. They needed strong people at the top to enforce this idyllic vision, and so they did together.

It was the type of world where people like Mai could exist. Utahime saw that now. She wished she could tell Maki that her twin was okay, but she worried that might hurt her even more. In their world, with her family, Mai had been a burden, a curse, a waste. Utahime still burned on the inside whenever she saw the way Maki was treated, how she had to soothe wounds on her "weaker" students when they were berated or beaten down. It was a wonder more of them hadn't turned; only their refusal to accept the other side's methods kept them from doing so.

Because idyllic as it was, there was still the same cold hard brutality and disdain that jujutsu society had been born from.

"It's strange," Utahime admitted, "that you're so feared for your destruction by the rest of the world, but here…" Her eyes roved over the garden, to the large greenhouse. It was beautiful, a complete and utter contrast to what Gojo and Geto represented to the world. There was no chaos here, no horror or death, only life. "You really do want to fix everything, don't you – to break and rebuild, even if it means starting from scratch."

"Burn the field to raise a new, stronger crop," Gojo added, standing beside her. "That's what Suguru says farmers have to do sometimes."

"Sounds simple," Utahime murmured. And so horrific. "Do you think you should just convince countries to load up all the non-sorcerers for slaughter? Make it quick and painless. I'm sure Geto could come up with a plan that would sound almost reasonable, and you could enact it. "

Gojo furrowed his brow, but he didn't respond. If they had considered something so cold and cruel before, he wouldn't tell her, not when he was trying to win her over. He was doing a piss poor job of it, in her opinion, but he was being honest with her. She could appreciate that, even if it hurt her and made it harder for him. He wasn't going to paint this place or their position with flowery words. She had also noticed that unlike many of the sorcerers, especially the stronger ones, he never belittled the non-sorcerer staff.

He wasn't kind to them, but he didn't treat them poorly either, making it very obvious where Yuta had learned that behavior from. They tended to be more at ease around him, or at least they didn't tremble as she'd seen before, but they were quick to do their work and leave if he was in the room, his presence too strong for even non-sorcerers to ignore.

"Do you want to go home?" Gojo asked.

"I thought you didn't want anyone else to have me," Utahime responded. He didn't say anything. Even though he'd asked her, he doubted he would actually let her leave. No, he wasn't done with her yet, and she didn't think Geto would allow it either now that she'd seen this place. "I haven't given you enough time to convince me to join your side like I said I would."

Gojo turned his head slightly in her direction. "Or have you not had enough time to convince me that it's not too late to change my mind?"

Letting out a sigh, Utahime said, "Gojo, I don't think anyone could convince you to do something you didn't want to do. Geto might think he can – he might even think he controls you, and maybe he does on some level – but you've always made your own choices regardless of what other people think. I'm not anything special."

Gojo reached out and brushed her hair over her shoulders. "You're special to me."

"Don't try to be charming now," Utahime told him, swatting at his hand. "It's not going to work."

"Fair enough." Gojo tapped his chin thoughtfully. "It's nearly sunset. I've made Suguru wait long enough. He's probably ready to choke me senseless."

Utahime pinched the bridge of her nose. "You think so? He's going to blame me."

"I'd blame you too," Gojo teased, poking her in the side and making her yelp. "You're too cute to resist. He'd understand if he wasn't too busy being a petty bastard about this whole thing, but eh, maybe I'd rather he stays in the dark."

She shot him a look that would've made anyone else cringe and step back, irritated that he could change moods so quickly, but it only seemed to humor him. One second they were serious, the next solemn, and angry after that – and then he was teasing, flirtatious, casual. It threw her off and frustrated her when she unwittingly followed him.

"He hates me," Utahime told him. "He resents my presence here. I don't think anything will change that."

"Let him," Gojo said carelessly. "The world doesn't revolve around him."

A mocking huff of laughter escaped Utahime. "Don't tell him that – or any of his followers, for that matter. They're even worse about him than they are about you."

"Suguru is better at playing to the crowd than I am," Gojo said in an indifferent tone. "He's the diplomat and the cult leader, not me."

Utahime didn't think she could frown anymore, but she refrained from reacting. Gojo knew exactly what he was saying. He might've passed himself off as an unwilling leader, but she saw the way Yuta deferred to him, how other sorcerers were quick to listen to what he had to say. He was a leader in this as well. The cult comment was definitely a jab at what he knew she viewed this place as, just another way to show that he was aware of things.

"If you're leaving to see Geto, I should return to my room," Utahime sighed.

"Do you want to stay out here for longer? I wouldn't blame you. It's nicer out here than inside."

The response took her aback, but after a moment of hesitation, she said, "Yes."

"Okay." His casual response caught her off guard even further. He wanted her to be happy, she had to remind herself. "Hm, I'd like to give Yuta a longer break. I know he'd drop anything to do what I ask him, but the kid deserves some time off. Have you seen the bags under his eyes? He needs a nap more than I do." Gojo held up a finger as an idea struck him. "I'll send Mai out here. You should be fine with her."

"Mai?" Utahime wouldn't have guessed he would choose her, considering her strength, but she had noticed that Mai seemed...uninhibited here. She might've lacked Yuta's strength and her technique was not considered strong, but there was something about the way she moved and operated here that suggested some sort of power.

Gojo snorted. "If you thought everyone was scared of Yuta, you've not seen Mai at work yet."

"Still don't trust me to be alone?" Utahime asked, somewhat disappointed.

"I trust you not to leave," Gojo said without missing a beat. "But I'd be a fool to trust everyone here. There's always someone with an ulterior motive." He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up just so. "I can't have anyone messing with my girl for whatever foolish reason."

"I can take care of myself, you know," Utahime pointed out, though she didn't move to shove his hand away from her.

"I know." His finger moved along her jaw until his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb running across her lips. It shouldn't have made her yearn the way it did, and she once again thought to curse Gojo for being such an obnoxious bastard. "But I like taking care of you."

Or maybe he just liked thinking she was dependent on him.

"Fine," Utahime said stiffly, trying her best not to lean into his touch. "But I want to do more than just walk around and look at things tomorrow. If you really want me to understand what you're doing here, I need to become more involved."

Gojo blessedly pulled his hand away. "Sure thing. What would you like to do?"

"I'm a teacher," Utahime replied, planting her hands firmly on her hips. "You said as such. It's who I am – what I'm good at. I want to see exactly what you're teaching these kids – and the adults."

"Sounds good to me," Gojo said, as if he'd been waiting for her to bring it up this whole time. Perhaps he had. It was why he'd brought her here, wasn't it? This was the potential he'd talked about. She was a good teacher, but she was very curious about what lessons were like here compared to Kyoto. They tended to be more brutal, if she had to admit, something she wasn't fond of but knew was necessary. Things had felt so...peaceful in the classroom she'd looked in on this morning.

"Do you have to ask permission from Geto?" Utahime asked.

Gojo chuckled. "Maybe I should, and maybe I won't."

Utahime closed her eyes and rubbed her temple with two fingers, trying to rid herself of the headache she could feel building. "Why can't you make things simple for once? Does everything have to be a game between you two? Doesn't it get exhausting?"

"It's fun," Gojo insisted. "Keeps things interesting."

"Maybe for you," Utahime huffed. "I feel like a ball being passed back and forth."

"I'd never give you to him," Gojo told her, sounding very serious for once.

She believed him, honestly, but she wasn't sure if he had a choice in the matter. Geto took what he wanted whether other people agreed to share or not. It was why Yuta was so wary about him, why Gojo didn't want Geto near her. He knew that. Utahime would just have to make sure Geto knew she wasn't like Gojo's other pets.

Chapter 7

Notes:

I absolutely loved writing this chapter. We finally get to see Utahime starting to DO MORE. It feels like the ball is finally rolling, and Utahime is finally gaining some footing and agency in her position despite Geto AND Gojo.

Chapter Text

Just as he promised, Gojo took her to sit in on classes the following day. He showed up at her room instead of Yuta, an even nicer pair of clothes in hand and a new ribbon that he insisted on doing himself. She tried not to think about how it felt with his chest barely brushing her back or the way his nimble fingers felt tying up her hair. Upon catching her reflection in a window, she begrudgingly had to admit that he'd done a good job.

It was humiliating, the way her cheeks blushed at the sight.

He let her choose which class she wanted to watch, so she chose the one she'd been watching the day previously before Gojo showed up. She hadn't taught jujutsu classes with children this young, so she was rather curious about how they handled it here. Back when they had been in school, they hadn't been pulled in until high school, mostly left to fend for themselves until then. She liked the idea of starting younger if only to help guide them to not be as destructive, especially when many of them grew up struggling with their abilities from a young age, but she was still wary.

She didn't want these children to be used by either side, so she had to see it for herself. It was too easy to take advantage of children and manipulate them.

It didn't matter if the teacher knew who Utahime was or not when Gojo stepped into the room. He was on his best behavior when he entered the room, full of excitable energy and cheer. The children responded to him immediately, many of them jumping from their seats and rushing over to them despite their teacher's weak pleas to stay sitting. They crowded around Gojo and Utahime, the smaller ones pawing at his legs while he grinned and stood over them like a tree.

"Do you have any candy?" one particularly determined kid demanded.

"Let's see…" Gojo pat his pockets down, slipping his hands inside, only to pull them out and toss the candy in the air. "Surprise attack!"

The kids squealed gleefully, and chaos reigned over the classroom as they rushed to scoop up the two handfuls of candy he'd set loose on them. Utahime didn't either bother resisting the urge to roll her eyes, figuring she could do it for her and the teacher, who seemed to be struggling to keep from losing their mind. Once all the candy had been picked up and stuffed into either pockets or greedy mouths, Gojo waved his hands at them and they scuttled back to their desks.

"This is Iori Utahime," Gojo explained to the teacher. "She's gonna sit in on some of the lessons over the next week or so."

The teacher, a young man that reminded her of Ijichi, smiled nervously, although it didn't reach his eyes. She couldn't tell if it was because of Gojo's presence or if he knew who she was. "Are you a teacher, Miss Iori?"

"I am," Utahime responded calmly. "I'll stay out of your hair and sit in the back if you don't mind."

"Not at all," the teacher said quickly. "Um, is this...is this a report of some kind?"

A pleasant smile was also on Gojo's lips, though Utahime found it slightly mocking. "Should it be?"

Utahime smacked his arm. "Stop being so mean."

"Aw, I was just teasing," Gojo shot back playfully. Both of them ignored the outright stunned look on the teacher's face. She shouldn't have hit him like that, but the response had been so natural, just like the old days. "I'll leave you to it. Don't wanna disturb your evaluation . I'm curious to hear what you think later."

Well, now he was just being cruel. Utahime would have to soothe the teacher's worries after the class was over. She didn't want him to think she was one of Gojo's or Geto's spies to make sure they were doing their job properly. They had enough of those around here. Considering the way Gojo had found her not long after Geto had confronted her, she had a feeling someone told him as soon as they found out. Word traveled fast here.

"Have fun," Gojo said teasingly, right before leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

Utahime burned bright red and swatted at him again, but he bounced out of her reach. She honestly could've throttled him in this moment, especially since the children made a mixture of sounds that ranged from "ew!" to "aw!" and made her blush even further. He waved to everyone and then gleefully bounded out of the room as she fumed.

Despite the fact that Gojo had clearly planted ideas of her relationship with him in the classroom's minds – and no doubt, everyone would whisper about it after lessons were over, especially the children – Utahime forced herself to paint on a pleasant and professional smile. "I'll sit over here. If I have any questions, I can wait until you're finished. I won't interrupt."

The teacher was unsettled, awkwardly fidgeting behind their desk. "Are you planning on becoming a teacher here?"

"We'll see," was all Utahime would say. It was most likely what Gojo wanted, but she wasn't about to say anything until she saw what was being taught. She'd gotten into enough trouble with a few of the higher-ups for the way she taught. If not for Yuki and the lack of good teachers, she might've been fired or replaced.

Or worse. Gojo's words about her potential future had stung bitterly, but he hadn't been far off.

During the rest of the lesson, Utahime could tell the teacher was too nervous to teach normally. His eyes kept glancing her way, and then he'd stumble over his words. The children picked up on his nerves and, perhaps because they were so young and willful, took advantage of it by acting out more and not listening as much. After the tenth time of glancing at her, she gestured with her hands for him to take a deep breath and calm down. He tried.

It didn't work. At least one kid used his technique to launch a wad of paper across the room and hit another kid in the head, and the teacher sighed in dismay.

Utahime stood up and walked into the middle of the classroom between the desks, catching the next ball of paper in her hand. The students immediately went quiet and looked up at her, their eyes filled with curiosity and wariness. A few of them had old scars on their little bodies – faces, arms, hands, legs – signs of their treatment before they'd been taken in.

"Is now the time to play or learn?" Utahime asked calmly. None of the children responded, casting glances at each other. They didn't know her. They didn't trust her – and they didn't have to. She wouldn't expect that of them after just an hour of sitting in the same room. "You want to learn how to use your techniques more, right?"

"Well, yeah," one brave kid barked out.

"You can figure it out on your own, sure," Utahime said, tossing the paper ball back and forth between her hands. "It'll take you longer, so the kids that do listen will learn faster and maybe even become stronger too." She returned to the back of the class and dropped the paper into the trash. "I like to be fast and strong, don't you?"

"I wanna be fast and strong!" a girl exclaimed.

Utahime sat back down. "Then you better listen."

The tactic didn't always work, especially on children this young when their attention spans weren't the best, but it seemed to do the job for the most part. With the kids more settled down, the teacher managed to relax enough to finish the lesson. By the time lunch came around, his shoulders sagged in relief as he watched the kids break up into groups to eat their prepared meals.

Sensing his confusion about what to do, Utahime made her way to his desk. "Is it usually like this?" When he hesitated, she let out a sigh. "I'm not going to report to Gojo or Geto if that's what you're worried about. This is just for me. I don't care about them."

He was once again startled, but then he slowly admitted, "The younger students are harder to control, but that's normal. We were never…"

"Taught at this age," Utahime finished for him. "We just learned our techniques on our own."

The man sighed in relief at being understood. "It's more work than the other teachers realize. I'm starting from scratch, half the time with kids that have grown up in environments where they were abused for their abilities." He sank in his seat, but she could tell by the way he looked at the kids that he truly cared about them. "Most of them are good, but the bad ones vary: they're either out of control with their techniques or refuse to use them at all."

Utahime gazed at the boy and girl sitting in the back of the classroom with their curses. "They're the latter, aren't they?"

"I don't know what to do with them," the teacher admitted. "They're a bit like...that boy…"

"Yuta?" Utahime suggested.

He winced. "Ah, yes. It's...hard to deal with the ones that work with actual curses." He flushed and looked away in embarrassment. "I know our, ah, gracious leader Geto's technique also involves curses, but it is very unusual. They're attached to them like pets, so they won't work without them and it makes the other kids nervous."

"Hm, it's a difficult decision," Utahime agreed. "They need to acclimate with other sorcerers and become more socially involved with children their own age, but it doesn't seem like the classroom environment is working for them." She watched as the two kids talked amongst themselves, leaning forward to whisper into each other's ears, the curses cooing at them hungrily. "I'm not a teacher here, but I do have experience with...troubled students. I could maybe take them aside for separate lessons, not without your curriculum, of course. Perhaps they need space."

The teacher stared at her. "The curses don't make you uncomfortable?"

"I've dealt with much worse," Utahime reassured him with a light laugh. "This is only with your permission, of course. I don't want to overstep any boundaries."

"Well… Gojo seems...fond of you," the teacher murmured, half to himself. Utahime kept the soft smile on her face, but she supposed despite her frustration, Gojo's little stunt came in handy. "You could use the room connected to this one." He gave her a weird look. "Um, I should perhaps clear this with Geto first."

"Is he in charge of the lessons?" Utahime asked.

The teacher fumbled for a moment before answering, "He's very involved with the children and their growth, especially the ones he's personally taken in." And likely these two in particular because of the way their techniques involved curses. Despite his fears about being possibly reported on, he had immediately deferred to Geto in this case. "They're very important to him, so I don't want to do anything that he might...disagree with."

"Understandable." Utahime considered the children and then the teacher. "I'll ask him." The poor man blinked, once again caught off guard. She really wasn't trying to frazzle him so much. "I'm the one that suggested this, so I don't mind speaking with him about it. Besides, I've known him for a while."

"You're friends with him?"

Utahime snorted. "Uh, I don't know if I'd call us that." She waved his concerns away as best as she could. There wasn't really a simple way to describe her relationship with Geto. Enemies? Rivals when it came to Gojo? God, she hoped not. She didn't want to fight him over that idiot. "Either way, I'll take responsibility for this. You just focus on the rest of your lessons. If he says no, he says no."

While he didn't seem to know what to think, he was at least relieved not to have to speak with Geto directly himself about the request. Utahime wasn't too thrilled either, but she wasn't going to trick herself into believing that she could avoid Geto for however long she was here. Gojo knew that, too. Geto had made it very clear that he could impose himself on her time whenever he wanted, as this was his temple, his stronghold, his home.

So, instead of waiting for him to appear and catch her off guard, she would go to him. He could deal with her on her time.

Shortly after lunch, Gojo returned, having finished whatever he needed to do. He took her to one of the older classes, the age group the same as the kids she taught. It was different from the children's class, out in the open so that they could freely use their techniques. She wasn't surprised to see how well they were able to easily manipulate their cursed energy and also work with their techniques. It was more structured than her classes, but the teenagers were more comfortable as well. They responded to corrections better, although a few students that obviously had more energy than the teacher struggled to listen fully.

"What do you think?" Gojo asked as they watched the practical lesson.

Utahime sighed and admitted, "It makes me miss my students."

Gojo glanced down at her. "They're lucky to have had you."

Had – as in, they didn't have her anymore. Utahime tried not to dwell on it, but it was difficult as she watched two girls fight against one another. They looked to be about Nobara's age, pretty and tough like her, though they lacked the same cold, cutting edge that Nobara had built around herself. She also thought they might be twins, their movements fluid and almost as one, a perfect balance and contrast with each other. What she noticed the most, however, were the smiles on their faces and the bright glimmers in their eyes.

She didn't see that with her students often, not even Yuuji, who tried so hard to be warm and bright. There was a bleakness that hung over them no matter how hard she fought to make it better.

Although she tried to remain impassive, Utahime couldn't hide the desolate cloud that had fallen over her as she watched the teenagers fight each other. Some of them were actually playing, slacking off when their teacher wasn't looking. The sight made her heart ache. How much would she give to see her students behave like this regularly? To laugh and have fun while learning? To truly feel as if their abilities were their own?

It was a dream, one she found herself wanting more than anything. If her students were to see this, they would no doubt want it as well. Perhaps they knew it too, but none of them could wrap their minds about what it would cost them – what it would cost the world.

The thought of Megumi popped into her mind, how she had found him slumped on the stairs in the rain, a hand over his face while one visible eye looked down at his other. He'd crossed paths with Gojo a few days prior and barely escaped with his life, the other three sorcerers with him having lost theirs. He hadn't told her what he was doing out there, but she imagined he'd hoped the rain would wash his friends' blood from his hands.

That was what Gojo had really given her.

Unexpectedly overwhelmed, Utahime turned away from the class. She hadn't thought it would hit her this hard, but she missed her students, her kids. There were days when she felt like it was all she could do to protect them – to be the wall between them and the world – but she wasn't there for them anymore. She didn't even know what was going on with them. News was filtered carefully into this place, and even though she'd tried to pry information out of Mai, Yuta, and a handful of others, they hadn't given her much to work with other than her students were alive.

"Utahime?" Gojo's voice was distant, drowned out by the rush of thoughts in her head. She had to get out of here, or at least away from where people could see her. From the way she'd suddenly gone silent and morose, she probably looked strange, but she felt too out of it to care about being embarrassed. By the time she managed to stagger to a tree, she placed one hand on the trunk to steady herself and lifted her other in an attempt to wave him away, but then he snatched her by the wrist to pull her back to him.

When she jerked on her wrist, he didn't drop it, and Utahime snapped, "Let go of me," but the demand was half-hearted at best. He pulled her closer to him instead, and she felt herself turn toward him more out of instinct than desire, allowing him to tuck her against his chest.

"Not gonna lie," Gojo said casually as he ran his hand down her back. "I wasn't expecting you to cry while watching a class in session."

"They're happy," Utahime mumbled against his chest.

"That's kind of the point."

Utahime gripped his shirt tightly, balling the material in her fist. "What I would've given to see my students look like that. Here, they can at least pretend like there isn't a war going on. They can have a childhood, if only for a little. Why couldn't I–?" She pushed herself away from him, her grief transforming into anger. "This world might be idyllic for you here, but it can be hell for everyone else on the outside. You don't even know what you've put them through."

"You're right," Gojo admitted. "I don't."

"You and Geto have laid waste to so much that you don't even know what you've destroyed or taken away from others," Utahime spat.

Gojo pushed himself away from the tree and stood upright. "We're trying to correct mistakes that have been standard for centuries. You've seen what we can be if we work together – what we're capable of when we aren't stuck working under the thumb of people that are either obsessed with power or don't give a shit about those below them. We don't want to keep this life here; we want to bring it to the rest of the world."

"Are those your words or Geto's?" Utahime shot back.

A dark look flashed across Gojo's face, nearly making her step back, but then it was gone, replaced by something unreadable again. It was enough though. Her heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, she'd been afraid of him. Unable to hide her emotions as well as him, he'd seen the fear on her face, plain as day. Did he regret it or was he simply frustrated? It didn't matter. She had clearly struck a nerve with that question.

"You know that some of what we're doing is right," Gojo said. "I can tell." He gestured toward the group of teenagers, a few of them shouting while someone laughed. There was an explosion, and the teacher could be heard scolding them. "It's not perfect, I know, but we're creating something here that's good. It'll never make up for what I or Suguru had to do to make it happen, but at least future generations won't be pushed to this edge like we were."

"What about now?" Utahime asked. "Megumi is a shadow of who he used to be. Maki is suffering under the weight of her family, probably surviving out of sheer spite at this point. Yuuji knows his death is sealed, either by the higher-ups or yours." She swallowed and shook her head. "Nobara's entire village was destroyed by Geto and his curses. Do you know what she was like when we found her? The only survivor, simply because she was a sorcerer, alone and angry for almost two years."

Gojo bowed his head in acquiesce. "I've read some intel on your students."

"Of course you have," Utahime huffed. "You two have to know everything, but you don't know them like I do. That's the world I know, not this place. That's the world I had to teach in." She pointed at the kids walking back to the main building together. One boy jumped on another guy's back, and the two of them crashed into the grass. "You don't think I want that? I want this for them so much that it hurts, but I've– I've abandoned them. They probably think I left them to fend for themselves and I turned my backs on them and–"

"Oi, oi, Utahime," Gojo cut in, grabbing her by the arms and stilling her. "Believe me, that's the last thing they think. Your students admire you – adore you even. They know you'd never leave them without a reason."

Utahime was so mad that her lips startled to wobble, which only made her angrier. "How do you know that?"

"Look, we haven't…" Gojo took a breath. "We haven't made any big moves recently. Honestly, taking you was the biggest thing I've done in a while. Suguru is trying to take a more diplomatic approach so we can save more lives in the long run." That made sense. Everyone was so wary, thinking that they had something truly terrifying planned. Maybe politics was more frightening. "Your students are incredibly strong and valuable. If we can avoid killing strong sorcerers, we will. Not that they give us much of an option – you and Nanami are quite the fierce teachers – but I know how valuable they are to you."

"Are they okay?" Utahime asked, furious over how quiet and weak she sounded to her own ears.

"Yes, they're fine. I know that for a fact." There wasn't a hint of lying or mocking in Gojo's voice. She wished she could see his eyes to know if he was telling the truth, but maybe it was better with them covered. She always felt so exposed when he gazed at her without a blindfold or glasses. "Pissed off and ready to do something reckless? Hell yeah. You're important to them. I think only their respect for Nanami is keeping them from doing something incredibly stupid, and even that's hanging by a thread."

A wet laugh bubbled from Utahime's lips. "That sounds like them."

"You've given so much of yourself to teach them," Gojo told her. "That's why I wanted you here – to show you how much more you could do without burning the candle at both ends. The higher-ups are tying your hands behind your back, shoving you onto your knees, and still demanding results. Yes, I'll admit, we've pushed them into that corner, but… If they could see our vision, if you could see what's right in front of you, maybe you could do more."

"I want them to be happy," Utahime said, suddenly feeling drained. "I want them to have this life too – not the endless cycle of exorcisms that is taken for granted, not the hierarchy that is based on strength and cursed energy and beats down those that don't fit the mold, not this stupid and terrible world where it's be saved and respected by damning your soul or fight for people that might fear or even hate you."

Gojo slowly pulled her back to him, and she didn't fight it. She was too tired. "You see it, don't you? The possibilities."

She didn't understand how something that could cause so much death and destruction could also bring such light and happiness. It wasn't right. Their joy shouldn't be at the expense of others' lives. Why couldn't they see that? Why did they get the happy ending when the other side was trying so hard to save people? Was it wrong to want to try to protect and save everyone? Was it futile? That vicious cycle would never end, and sorcerers would be lost either way.

"I want to go back to my room," Utahime stated in a flat tone.

She could feel Gojo swallow, sense the tension in his body as he held her. He wasn't sure if he'd won this argument or not. Hell, she wasn't sure. To be honest, it felt as if they'd both lost, leaving them in a strange and unsettled plain. A strong part of her wanted to curl up on her mattress and hide under her blankets for the rest of the day. An even weaker part of her wanted Gojo with her, his body pressed up against hers and holding her to tether her to one place.

She refused to ask that of him, however.

"Okay," Gojo sighed. "I expected you to be difficult, but I forgot how emotional you could get."

Utahime jabbed him in the stomach. "Not everyone is as cold and calculating as you and Geto."

"No, I guess you're right," Gojo said, somewhat to himself. "It's not always a good thing."

It wasn't. Maybe they had to be that way in order to get the job done, but without bringing a heart into the equation, a lot of terrible things could happen. Utahime had seen that firsthand.

Nonetheless, there had been a few long nights where she and other sorcerers had talked about Geto and Gojo's vision for the world. A few drinks in, tongues lax, ties loosened, hair let down, they could sometimes admit that they understood why they were committing such atrocities. Yuki stated that the plan to eliminate curses by getting rid of non-sorcerers would work on some level, although she personally advocated and taught non-sorcerers how to control the flow of their cursed energy. Nanami had even said he didn't blame Gojo for turning on the higher-ups – that their incompetence cost them a lot of lives and energy. As a higher-up herself, Yuki had laughed at that and heartily agreed without hesitation.

Shoko didn't talk much about Gojo or Geto. She rarely did these days, typically locked away in either the morgue or the hospital, as if she was paying some imaginary penance.

"Could you…?" Utahime chewed on the inside of her cheek, Gojo waiting for her to finish. "Could you send Mai over later, if she isn't busy and doesn't mind? It'd just be...nice to be with her. I know she's not my student anymore, but…"

"No, I get it," Gojo replied lightly. "Need me out of your hair for a while, don't you?"

And out of her mind. She couldn't think clearly with him around her like this. He was all over her, all the time, making it difficult for her to see straight. She wasn't sure if it was intentional or just how he was, his presence overwhelming even to the most resilient of them.

"Yeah, just a bit," Utahime admitted.

Not to mention the fact that she needed to speak with Geto later, and Gojo would undoubtedly be displeased with that. She didn't want to put Yuta through such an uncomfortable situation, especially when she could tell his loyalties lied closer with Gojo. Mai, on the other hand… While she might tell Gojo later, she wouldn't hesitate to take her to see Geto. Utahime knew that from the way she spoke about him. She admired him, respected him – something she rarely did with men.

Gojo would find out later, whether from her or Geto, but he could deal with it. She wasn't going to be just a pawn on the chessboard for them to play around with.

Chapter 8

Notes:

Oops, I was supposed to post this chapter yesterday, but I forgot. dskljfasdlkfj Anyways, GUESS WHO'S BACK. It's Getoooo! I wanted to say that this chapter has one of my favorite scenes and maybe even tropes, but then, that was what I was going to say for the next chapter, so basically... Yeah. Long live, Utahime. Teach these bastard boys some lessons.

Chapter Text

Utahime had known that Mai would be caught off guard by the request, but she hadn't expected the girl to actually laugh and exclaim, "You need me to do what?"

Letting out a sigh, Utahime pushed her half-eaten plate of food aside. It was good, but she didn't know if she could handle a full stomach right now. "I need you to take me to see Geto."

"Wow, okay, I heard you right then." Mai leaned back on her hands propped up behind her, tilting her head as she looked back at her carefully. "So, Geto, huh – one cult leader isn't enough for you?"

Utahime remained impassive, her eyes serious. She knew it was a tall order and perhaps even a difficult request, but she also knew Mai was much more perceptive than people gave her credit for. Maybe it had to do with her skill as a sharpshooter – or maybe it had been the only way she could survive growing up in the Zen'in clan. She also knew that Utahime had spent years under the thumb of those stronger than her, so she knew how to handle herself.

"Why do you want to talk with him?" Mai asked.

"Just something to do with two of the children in the youngest class," Utahime answered honestly.

A smile flickered on Mai's face, but it lacked the warmth most people showed. "Still a teacher no matter where you are, huh?"

"I'll always consider you one of my students no matter what," Utahime told her. "And I can admit that I failed you as a teacher."

Mai shrugged. "You might be the only one to admit that, so gee, thanks."

"Gojo thinks I can be useful as a teacher here," Utahime explained matter-of-factly, "but I can't do anything if I'm stuck observing with my hands tied behind my back, just like I was with the higher-ups." She held out a hand. "Unfortunately for me, Geto is the one more involved in the lessons, so if I want to do anything, I have to go through him."

"And it'll appeal to his ego too if you skip going through Gojo," Mai added.

Utahime smiled and nodded. "It will, and his ego has apparently gotten worse since I knew him." She folded her hands into her lap, trying not to nervously fiddle with her fingers, but her stomach was tied up in knots. "It's only been a week, and I'm already tired of being a toy for Gojo and Geto to fight over. Geto will never respect me if he continues to see me as Gojo's plaything, which means I can't hide behind him. To be honest, I doubt he ever will, but it'll be better than him thinking I'm some weak, stupid floozy."

"If he does," Mai said, picking up a piece of food between her fingers, "he's an idiot." She plopped the food into her mouth, chewing and then swallowing it down. "You didn't survive as our teacher for even that long without some skill. Every day was a battle for you, even before Gojo turned."

Shaking her head, Utahime sighed, "Not that they would understand. The world was in the palm of their hands right from the beginning, ready for the taking."

"And you as well," Mai added teasingly. "How is that going with Gojo, by the way?"

Utahime rolled her eyes. "He's an annoying, egotistical man. What do you think?"

"Some might say his fierce desire for you is romantic," Mai pointed out. "I don't know. I never got the obsession appeal, you know? And it must put a damper on things when you have to share him."

Honestly, Utahime couldn't picture anything else when it came to Gojo. Not a single person could fully have that man, not even Geto. Even though they were equals in many respects, Gojo was still on a completely different level from everyone else. A part of him would always belong to something else – to someone else – and to...care for him in any respect meant understanding that as well. He wanted her completely, but she would've had to share him no matter the circumstances.

"Well, if you wanna chat with Geto, he's most likely in his office right now," Mai said. "That's his little hideaway from everyone, including Gojo."

Utahime hummed, considering the younger girl carefully. "You know a lot about this place, don't you?"

Mai simply looked back at her. "I know enough to survive. You taught me that."

With their dinner finished, Utahime gathered their plates and piled them up, Mai assuring her that a servant would have them cleared by the time they returned. Utahime took one last look at the mess she'd left behind and then followed Mai out of her room.

Walking around the compound with Mai was much different than it was with Yuta or Gojo. She was familiar with the people here, but not in the way Gojo was. They didn't flock to her and some didn't bother with any sort of respect, but they did acknowledge her. She wasn't cruel to the non-sorcerers either – or, at least, her tongue was as sharp with other sorcerers as it was with them – and she did not grovel or show deference to sorcerers with more cursed energy.

Mai was simply another part of the movement, a cog in the machine, although Utahime noticed that everyone seemed to perk up and started working harder when they saw her. She eyed sorcerers and non-sorcerers alike with mostly a bored look, thoroughly unimpressed with everyone here, but at least she was at ease, not a hint of tension in her body as she walked.

Once they reached an ornate wooden door, Mai stopped and gestured toward it. "And here we are. I'll make your presence known, but I'm staying out here." When Utahime gave her a questioning look, Mai wrinkled her nose. "He sometimes lets his curses wander around the room. It's not very pleasant."

"Right, of course." Utahime rolled her eyes. "It's his world."

"Isn't this all his world?" Mai asked right before she knocked sharply on the door. "Geto, if you're in there, you have a visitor."

A few seconds later, Geto's muffled voice responded, "Unless it's a dire situation, Mai, tell them I'm not interested."

"Oh, I think you will be," Mai replied in a singsong tone.

There was a pause where Geto was probably thinking about what to do and then, "Let them in."

Mai twisted the knob without resistance – it hadn't been locked – and then gave Utahime one last look as if to ask her whether she'd reconsidered her desire to see Geto. She didn't want to see him, if she was being honest, but she needed to do this. Geto thought she was a useless distraction for Gojo, but she had chosen to be here. Yes, it had been under duress and certainly manipulation, but she would see this through. She nodded, let Mai open the door, and stepped inside.

Geto's dark eyes instantly lit him the moment they fell upon her. "Utahime, this is interesting."

"Glad I could meet your approval for once," Utahime huffed as the door shut behind her.

Propping an elbow on his desk, Geto rested his cheek on his fist. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight?" His eyes glittered dangerously as a smile tugged at his lips. "I thought you'd be busy warming Gojo's bed at this hour."

"And I thought he'd be warming yours."

The smile fell from Geto's lips as he rolled his eyes. "He's being a difficult brat, as usual. I don't know why I expect anything different from him. I'm sure you can understand that."

Yes, she could. If there was one constant in her life aside from jujutsu, it was that Gojo would always be a damn brat, no matter what side he was on. His power allowed him to be one and act however he wanted, and he so enjoyed driving people mad, even those closest to him. Despite leading a worldwide reformation with him, Geto was not exempt from this treatment.

"No matter," Utahime sighed. She wasn't about to start trying to figure out why Gojo did what he did, but it worked in her favor. She'd been worried that he might be with Geto, but it turned out he was still intent on torturing him a little longer. "I'm here to see you, not him."

"Me?" Geto clicked his tongue. "I'm going to assume Gojo doesn't know."

"It doesn't have anything to do with him, so no, he doesn't," Utahime responded evenly.

Curiosity was clearly evident in his eyes, but he kept his face passive. "I have to admit: I didn't expect you to undermine him so quickly. Tired of him already? Want to go home?"

"Actually, I had some questions about the classes," Utahime said. "I've been watching them the past week, but I was able to sit in on one today. It was very...enlightening."

Geto leaned back in his chair behind his desk, eyeing her very intently, but Utahime didn't move from her spot, even if she felt like he was trying to dissect her with his sharp gaze. His ego might have been different from Gojo's, but it was just as easily affected. This group had started with him. He'd built it from scratch with Gojo's help. To put it mildly, it was his passion project, every inch of it stamped with his involvement, but none more so than the lessons being taught to the young sorcerers in their group.

"What did you think?" Geto asked.

"I was jealous," Utahime answered honestly. "The guidance, care, attention to detail, the ability to help them grow on a deeper level – I wish I could do that for my own students instead of pushing them into…soldiers."

It was painful to admit something like that, but it was the truth. Before she had asked Mai to bring her here, Utahime had talked with her about her own experiences here. After all, she was the same age as those kids she'd been watching during a practical lesson. She could have (and perhaps should have) been out there with them. Mai had spoken about her firsthand experience in how different things were. While she'd genuinely not begrudged Utahime for how harsh things had been, she did say upfront that she much preferred it here.

Instead of being forced to grow – instead of being dragged to the edge every day – she could grow at her own pace, one that actually made her feel stronger in the end and more comfortable with her own ability. Utahime's mind drifted to the dagger Mai had created and twirled between her fingers. It was bigger than anything she'd ever created with her technique that Utahime had seen.

"I especially appreciated the lessons with the younger groups," Utahime continued, trying to remain as professional as possible. She wouldn't get emotional in front of Geto like she had Gojo. That had been a blunder as it was, but she couldn't afford to make the same mistake twice. She hated it enough when Gojo used her emotional outbursts against her. "It's something we've only started doing recently, but it's not nearly as structured as it is here. This felt like an actual class – not just the standard school lessons. Teaching them control and nurturing their abilities when they first start manifesting seems so logical and yet…"

"And yet we never did it," Geto finished for her. "It was as if only those that were strong enough to survive on their own could attend school to further their training." He drummed his fingers along the edge of his desk. "Do you ever wonder how many didn't make it? The classes were small each year, but we both know there are far more people with cursed energy and techniques. It doesn't make sense."

Utahime let out a breath. "How many did we leave behind?"

"We were raised to just be tools – brought in when the higher-ups decided we could be of use to protect the status quo and protect people that would never acknowledge or appreciate us," Geto said firmly. "We were just weapons with triggers to be pulled, to do what we were told, to never question." He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his desk. "I won't let that happen, not anymore."

"Are they not weapons for your cause here?" Utahime countered, careful not to allow any anger to bleed into her voice.

"Only if they want to be," Geto replied, thankfully not insulted. "You spoke with Mai, didn't you?"

For the first time, Mai had been given a choice about what she wanted to do and how she wanted to live her life. She could progress with her abilities, but she didn't have to push herself the way she would have had she stayed with them. She also didn't have to be subservient and demean herself in order to survive as she had with her clan. Geto and Gojo really had begun to create a world in which so many people like Mai could grow at their own rate instead of being pushed.

"I noticed, in the class that I sat in on, it's hard for the teacher to give individual attention to the children during lessons about their techniques," Utahime continued. This wasn't meant to be an argument with Geto, not like she'd done with Gojo. She couldn't combat him. If she wanted to do something here, she'd have to work with Geto. She didn't enjoy that prospect but also knew there wasn't a way around it.

"Anyone you noticed in particular?" Geto asked, although judging by the look on his face, he already knew the answer.

"Jiro and Hifumi," Utahime responded without hesitation.

Geto let out a little, amused huff. "Well, I suppose it's only fitting that it's the two children that had a hand in bringing you here to us."

"I spoke with their teacher," Utahime continued. "He's been struggling to get them to respond to any sort of lessons, especially concerning cursed energy and techniques. They're either completely non-responsive or act out, likely due to the...nature of their upbringing."

"You mean lack thereof?" Geto shot back casually. "Their parents locked them up. It's a wonder they even bothered feeding them."

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. No doubt their parents were now dead. Geto wouldn't have spared them for their horrible treatment. As non-sorcerers themselves, they would've been killed anyway for getting in his way, but she had a feeling that he'd spared even less mercy than usual for them. Had he done it in front of the children so they'd know their parents were for sure gone and would never hurt them again or had he thought sparing them such a brutal sight would be better?

She could only hope it was the latter, if only because they were children. He was probably sad to have missed the opportunity to do something like that in front of her.

"On top of that, the other children are leery about their curses," Utahime added warily. "They're very attached to them and even only interact with them, speaking to them instead of their teacher when asked direct questions."

Geto stopped tapping his fingers. "Do you think we should separate them so the other children are more comfortable?" He brought his fingers to his lips instead, dragging her attention to his mouth and bringing his own technique to mind. "They do seem co-dependent, perhaps in an unhealthy way. It might be hard for them to grow on their own if they continue with that relationship."

"I think…" Utahime hesitated, then forced herself to continue. "I think that might hurt them more than help them right now. They've never had a life like this. They don't know how to function."

"Gojo was right about that bleeding heart of yours," Geto teased. "You've been kidnapped by the other side, and here you are worrying about children."

Utahime steeled herself and planted her hands on her hips. "Mock me all you want, Geto. I don't care. I don't like to see suffering on either side, especially when it comes to those who never had a choice or a chance."

Geto waved a dismissive hand at her. "No need to get so worked up. I'm not insulting you." She fought the urge to roll her eyes. She highly doubted that. "What do you want to do?"

"Well, I spoke with their teacher during lunch, and I thought I could, perhaps, work with them separately," Utahime said. She shifted awkwardly on her feet and fiddled with her fingers in her sleeves, unable to hide her nerves. "With your permission, of course. This is your place, and I know that I'm still, well… I'm still the enemy, right? It's not like I'm trying to influence them differently. I just want to do something worthwhile, and if I can help them…"

"If you help them, you'll set aside your feelings against us?" Geto finished for her. He stood up from his chair and then walked around the desk, resting on the edge and folding his arms across his chest. "You'll ignore the fact that we advocate the murder or slavery of non-sorcerers in order to teach them? How cold of you."

Utahime dropped her hands to her sides. "They're not the enemy here, and I will…" She swallowed and looked away in shame. "I will admit that their lives are better here than they would've been had I taken them in for my side. They have a chance here that I wouldn't have been able to give them no matter what."

"It's not your fault," Geto told her. "It's not like you were allowed to teach the way you wanted or even given a chance to try." He considered her once more, and Utahime knew she couldn't squirm or falter now. She had to meet him head-on or he would never listen. "Can I trust you though? Who's to say you won't try to influence them against us?"

"As if I could do that right under your nose," Utahime said flatly. "You can watch for all I care. How did they react when you took them? Are they comfortable with you?"

A strange look flickered across Geto's face. "I don't know if they're comfortable with anyone. I hoped with my curses, but…"

"But they haven't been given a reason to have faith or trust in anyone," Utahime sighed. "I'd like to try, if you're okay with it. There's really not much else for me to do, and…" She gestured vaguely. "I guess I do have a bleeding heart. You can't blame me for that. It's been wounded enough in these past few years."

"How sad," Geto said, although he didn't sound particularly sad about it. "I suppose I could give you a chance. I could at least find out for myself if you're useful like Gojo insists. Everyone has their role here, so no matter your circumstances, you should strive to be more than Gojo's flavor of the month."

"Why do you think I'm here speaking with you and not going to him?" Utahime demanded. "And would you please stop describing me like that? I'm not just one of Gojo's fangirls."

Geto chuckled. "Of course not."

Utahime scoffed. "Grown men and you're still acting like boys with egos too big for their heads. I don't want to be involved in one of your stupid games."

"You don't have much of a choice," Geto pointed out. "It's not fair, I'll admit it. Gojo dragged you into this without really asking if you wanted to play, but then again…" He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "You've honestly been involved since he laid his eyes on you, whether you realized it or not."

As loathed as she was to admit it, Geto probably wasn't wrong. Anyone in Gojo's life was dragged into his chaos no matter how far they tried to stay away. He was a tornado, leaving destruction and ruin in his wake, and everyone else was the debris he ripped from the ground, the collateral damage. Once you got too close to it, there was no avoiding the changes he'd have on your life. He was too powerful, too important, too much of everything.

No one could survive him unscathed, not even Geto.

"Do I have your permission to work with the children or not?" Utahime questioned. "You don't have to trust me – and, if we're being honest, I don't trust you – but I'd like to think we could at least come to an understanding for their sakes."

"You'll have to work closely with their curses," Geto told her. "It's not just their techniques tied to them; their souls are tied to them as well."

"I know that," Utahime stated. "It doesn't bother me."

Geto raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't?"

She opened her mouth to argue with him again, but then a cold, terrible feeling washed over her from behind, an overwhelming shadow of darkness creeping in on her. It was disgusting, and she struggled not to choke on the sensation. Her heart shot into her throat, and her fingers twitched nervously at her side as it grew even worse, an unnatural fear freezing her on the spot. She knew this sensation well. As a sorcerer, she'd encountered it many times.

It was a feeling she had long associated with Geto – that rotting, overwhelming darkness that came from one of his stronger curses.

A large hand – no, claw – planted itself on the ground at her side, the wood straining under the weight of the massive curse that Geto had allowed to come out from behind her. The low growl in her ear was threatening, her hair blowing over her shoulder as it let out of a huff. From the corners of her eyes, she caught a glimpse of sharp teeth that could cut through her just as easily as the nails scratching the floor.

"Are you sure?" Geto asked again, a little smile on his face.

Utahime closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. Was she sure? Well, those childrens' curses weren't as big as this one, but there was a very high possibility that they could be one day, growing just as much as the curse users they were attached to. How much had she been willing to live with in order to teach her students? How much of herself had she given up and sacrificed just to stay with them a little longer in an attempt to protect them?

When she opened her eyes again, Utahime turned her head to face the curse. It was a monstrous thing that looked like a cross between a werewolf and a komodo dragon, its massive body covered in patches of fur and scales, ugly in a way that could only be described as nightmare-ish. She had to wonder how many sorcerers had died in its powerful jaw – how much havoc Geto had commanded it to wreak. It didn't belong in a room like this, too overwhelming, too large for such a small, domestic space.

She lifted a delicate hand, the sleeve of her shirt rolling back to expose her thin, pale wrist, and scratched the curse under its jaw like she would a dog, and the curse almost purred.

"I think I'll be okay," Utahime mused.

When her eyes flickered back to Geto, she was caught off guard by the intense look on his face, catching herself at the last second to remain impassive. The only person she could ever remember him looking like that for was Gojo, and even then, it was only under extreme circumstances. Being under such an intense, unreadable gaze now was unsettling, and so she pulled her fingers away from the curse, her hand falling to her side. Maybe that had been a mistake. Had she crossed the line too far with him?

"Geto?" Utahime prompted warily.

Instead of responding to her, Geto waved a hand, and the curse went away, taking the powerful and sickening feelings with it. She kept her shoulders from sinking with relief. As calm as she'd pretended to be, her heart had been racing, and she had worried for a moment that he might command it to bite her hand off.

Turning his back on her and resting his hands on the desk, Geto said, "You have my permission to work with the children."

Utahime bowed politely. "Thank you."

Geto cast her a look over his shoulder. "I'll be checking in on you, of course."

"I expect nothing less from someone so involved in their followers," Utahime responded, maybe a hint dryly.

"They won't be used to kindness," Geto told her, his tone strangely off. "They might even resent you for it – maybe think you believe them weak or you're deceiving them."

"Is that what it was like for you?" Utahime asked.

Geto's eyes sharpened, warning flashing in his eyes. Ah, there was the line. "Get out."

Utahime didn't need to be told twice. She bowed once again, this time more apologetic, and then all but escaped the room. It felt like it was by the skin of her teeth, like Geto was close to cutting her down on the spot, Gojo be damned. She'd have to be extra careful around him the next time they crossed paths. It would be annoying as hell, but Utahime knew better than to speak and act with Geto the same way as she did with Gojo. They were different.

Gojo wanted her here. Geto wanted her gone.

Mai was leaning against the wall across from the door, her cellphone in her hands. "You okay?"

"Um, yes, I'm fine," Utahime replied distractedly, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "Do you think we can stop by the kitchen and get some tea? I know it's late, but..."

"Eh, they're used to it," Mai said, slipping her phone in her pocket. "You aren't the only one struggling to sleep here. Yuta's particularly fond of haunting the kitchen at this hour."

Needing a distraction from what had just occurred, Utahime noted, "You two seem close."

Mai didn't look at her – didn't even snort, scoff, or throw out a mocking comment. She just said, "We made a promise," and that was that. It was about as honest of an admission as Utahime would ever get from her, so she appreciated it.

For the rest of the walk and even once they were in the kitchen, Utahime stayed relatively quiet. She could sense Mai's curiosity in the way her eyes kept roving over her, but Utahime didn't say a word. As powerful as it had been, no doubt Mai had sensed Geto's curse from outside the office, so she had to know something had happened, especially since Utahime had practically rushed out of the room shortly after, but she didn't ask either.

Instead, they sipped their tea, Utahime staring out the window blankly. Out here in the middle of nowhere, the moon and stars could easily be seen, so different from the city. It was beautiful, filled with a sort of innocent hope that she'd not felt since she was a child.

She wished she could feel it here, just like the children she'd watched today.

Chapter 9

Notes:

So, since SOMEONE *side-eyes Gege* has only given us the barest scraps of Utahime's curse technique, I had to come up with something myself. For reference, this is the version of the song she sings in this chapter. I watched this movie when my daughter was a newborn (ah my 3 - 6 am movies), and the song stuck with me, so I used to sing it to her to help her fall back asleep. So yeah. xP I'm going out on a limb with this, but HEY, I really enjoyed writing a chapter so focused on Utahime. (And Yuta. lmfao)

Chapter Text

When Utahime explained her plans for the day, Yuta's eyes lit up with interest. It was a different emotion from him, making him look years younger – or, well, closer to his age. She'd grown used to his nervous, quiet nature or how he flushed with embarrassment or a blink in confusion, so it was nice to see him respond in a more positive manner.

"You're going to teach?" Yuta asked as they walked towards the classrooms.

"Well, not exactly," Utahime told him. "I'm just going to work with the two new students."

"Oh, the ones that came the same day as you."

Utahime opened her mouth, but then simply nodded. Geto had taken them in the same day Gojo had brought her here, yes, and Yuta's knowledge of that must have meant he'd at least seen them. Maybe he'd grown curious due to the curses attached to them. It would make sense. He must have wondered about other sorcerers like him – other curse users. Geto worked with curses, used them, but he didn't live with them in the same way as Yuta or those children.

"Have you met them?" Utahime asked.

"Um, no," Yuta replied, averting his gaze. "Kids don't really…"

"They're afraid of Rika?" Utahime finished for him.

Yuta let out a sigh. "It's not their fault. She's...well, she's big. Unless I need her, she stays out of sight, but kids are most sensitive to curse energy, so they can still sense her." He reached up over his shoulder and fiddled with the sword case on his back, readjusting it slightly. "An-and my own. I still have trouble...controlling it."

"You have quite a bit, that's for sure." Utahime gave him a soft smile and added, "But I find it more comforting than threatening." He peered at her sideways. "You don't wield your curse energy the same way Geto and Gojo do. It's…protective."

A confused look fell over Yuta's face before it transformed into something appreciative and warm. Even a faint smile touched his lips as he stared at the ground ahead and continued to walk in silence. It must be hard on him, she couldn't help but think, always being used as a weapon, a sword, a monster. Although she'd seen how cold he could be when he confronted that other curse user, she didn't know just how dangerous he was. It was hard to reconcile both sides of him when she'd only really seen one.

But then there was the dead way he'd looked at Negi and Mai's teasing words flashing in her mind: "Underneath that baby face is a ruthless killer."

She didn't think he was ruthless, however. It had to be chipping away at him, and if he didn't turn himself into stone, it'd tear him apart.

"They might be interested in meeting you," Utahime pointed out.

Yuta shook his head. "I don't want to scare them any more than they already are."

"So you have seen them."

Realizing he'd exposed his hand, Yuta hesitated, his eyes flickering to her and then forward again. "I've...seen them around. Curses don't walk around here freely unless Geto lets them, and they're usually his then. They mostly patrol the perimeter, however, so when I saw the two curses following those kids…"

"You got curious."

Shrugging, Yuta admitted, "Yeah, it was weird. Geto uses curses with his technique, but he doesn't really…" He held out his hand. "Rika isn't a tool or weapon to me. She's a part of me, and I'm a part of her. When I saw those kids clinging to their curses, I felt like...like I understood them. That was me when I was a kid – scared, alone, confused." He frowned, his dark eyes sad. "No one went near them. I watched at least ten other sorcerers just ignore them and give them more space than needed."

Utahime put a hand on his shoulder. "Well, I'm not going to ignore them. I'm going to work with them – and their curses – and I think you might be able to help."

Rubbing his arm, Yuta sighed, "I don't know…"

"If you're uncomfortable or they are, you can leave," Utahime told him, "but even their teacher said they reminded him of you. Maybe they might feel better knowing they aren't alone – and seeing what they can accomplish."

She watched him consider her words and then looked ahead, giving him the space and time to think about it on his own. Yuta was isolated from so many of the other sorcerers here. Be it fear, hate, discomfort, misunderstanding, and even jealousy, she could sense how far removed he was from the others. Aside from Mai and Gojo, both of whom treated him as if he was perfectly normal, she worried that he didn't have any friends. It wasn't right, especially when she could sense he had a good, kind heart even after being alone for so long.

Yuta was incredibly strong – far stronger than almost all the sorcerers and curse users that she'd ever met – but he didn't believe in himself or his strength. If she had to make this a lesson for him too, then she'd do it. Not that she wanted someone on the opposite side to be even stronger, but…

Oh, she didn't know. She liked the kid and wanted him to smile more. She didn't want him to feel like he was just a sword to cut down other people, not when she knew he could be better.

Once they reached the classroom, Utahime politely knocked on the door and waited until the teacher called for her to come in. Behind her, Yuta shifted on his feet, nervousness written all over his face. She gestured for him to breathe, and he did so. After he wiped his face clean of anxiety, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Good morning, everyone!" Utahime greeted the class brightly.

"What do we say in return?" the teacher prompted.

A chorus of "Hello, Miss Iori" followed with varying degrees of enthusiasm. She didn't have pockets full of sweets like Gojo, and the children knew she was here to work. A few of them eyed Yuta behind her, some kids squirming in their seats. He stared up at the ceiling, trying very hard to appear even smaller than he was.

The teacher gave him a wary look but then stopped at two desks in the back. "Do you remember what we talked about?"

The boy stared back blankly, petting the curse in his lap, while the girl huffed out a simple, "Yah." Her curse dug its claws in the desk, scratching at the wood. The teacher didn't hide their wince well enough, and a smile flickered on the girl's face before she could hide it. Without any further discussion, they got up from their desks and walked through the open door into the side room, their sneakers scuffing along the floor.

"Thanks," Utahime said as she followed them. "I'll let you know if we need anything." She waved at Yuta, who was still lingering at the door. "Come on."

Taking another quick breath, Yuta finally moved and followed her into the room. It was spacious and bright, filled with natural light from the large windows on one wall. She watched the children drag the two desks and chairs to a dark corner of the room where their curses were hunkered down. Not that sunlight hurt curses, but they weren't always fond of them. Plus, Geto wasn't the only one that knew a little about their history.

Their parents had kept the children and their curses locked up in the basement where only a small window had provided natural light. It had been cold, wet, and dark down there, and they'd perhaps grown used to it, comfortable with it even, to the point where such brightness hindered them.

Without a word, Utahime turned to the windows and shut the curtains. They didn't block out the sunlight entirely, but it did dim the room, and the children immediately stopped what they were doing and watched her with vague interest. Turning back to them, Utahime asked, "Is that better?"

Jiro and Hifumi glanced at each other, then their curses at their feet, and once again, Hifumi answered, "Yah."

There was a small table and a chair where she could sit, probably placed here by the teacher, but Utahime ignored them. The structure of a classroom hadn't been helping them before. Instead, she crouched down in the middle of the room, swept the floor with her hand, and then sat down. A little more than confused, the children looked at each other again. This time, Jiro moved first, although he sat down a little away from her. Hifumi frowned but then begrudgingly followed and sat down beside him.

"It didn't look like you enjoyed the class much," Utahime started, "so I'm here to help, okay?"

Hifumi folded her arms across her chest. "You our teacher now?"

"If you want me to be after today, yes," Utahime replied. "I thought you and your curses might feel a little more comfortable outside of the classroom – with a little more space and privacy." Sorcerers and curses weren't meant for cages, and it was all they'd known so far in their young lives. They needed more freedom. "You haven't used your curse techniques since you joined the class. Do you not want to show them in front of the other kids?"

Twisting her lips, Hifumi muttered, "They don't like our curses."

"Well, most people are afraid of curses, but people are often scared of things they don't understand," Utahime explained. Hifumi glanced at her for the first time, a strange look in her eyes. Recognition? "I'm here to understand, so I can help you." She gestured to the curses that had crawled into their laps, both of which eyed her in a way that looked like hunger. They looked the part, all four of them – scrawny, pale things that knew starvation on a level most people could never comprehend. "What are their names?"

Hifumi's hold on her curse tightened. "Their names?"

"Did you and your brother come up with something to call them?" Utahime prompted.

"They got their own names," Hifumi snapped.

Utahime held up her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm not as familiar with curses as you are."

"We're not tellin' their names," Hifumi told her tartly. "'Cause you kill curses, right? And you gotta know somethin's name to really kill 'em."

"I do," Utahime admitted. Jiro buried his face into his curse, the thing squirming in his arms but not attacking him or whining to be let go. It wasn't like a pet. No, just as Yuta said with Rika, the curses felt like they were part of the children. "When it's necessary, of course, like when they hurt people or cause damage."

"They haven't hurt no one," Jiro mumbled, the first words she'd heard him speak so far.

Hifumi's lip curled into a sneer. "But they can if we ask 'em too. Can't we? They're not weak."

"And you aren't either, are you?" Utahime asked. "It takes a lot of curse energy to" – not control, not like Geto – "work with curses. It's hard to use your own, but to be able to use theirs as well, to work alongside them, is very hard to do. You have to be really strong to do that."

A glimmer of pride crossed Hifumi's face, and she muttered, "See," while elbowing her brother's side. The curse in her arms let out a strange warbling sound, almost as if it was agreeing with her. Maybe it was. Curses varied in intelligence, and special grade ones were capable of communicating with humans. These were young curses, almost infantile, but she could sense their intelligence in the way they watched her and responded to the children.

"Yuta can do that too," Utahime added, gesturing to Yuta. He was leaning against the wall opposite of the door, as far from the classroom as he could be.

Jiro lifted his eyes but didn't move his head from on top of his curse. "You can?"

"Duh." Hifumi rolled her eyes. "He feels all weird, don't he?"

"Like us," Jiro mumbled.

"Where's your curse?" Hifumi demanded, her tone and expression equally aggressive.

On the other hand, Yuta appeared startled, his eyes wide and mouth partially open. "Um…" He gestured vaguely. "She's around. She doesn't...normally come out unless I need her."

"You just hide her all the time?" Hifumi sniffed and looked away. "That's mean."

"I-I don't–" Yuta glanced down at his hands. "She's too big to walk around like yours. I wish she could, but other people wouldn't…" His shoulders dropped. "It's safer to hide sometimes."

"How big?" Hifumi asked.

Yuta held out his hands. "Taller than the building."

Hifumi turned to Utahime. "Can ours get that big?"

"They can get bigger," Utahime explained, "but not as big as Yuta's curse. Yours are very special, but his curse is different."

She had known that Yuta's Rika was a massive curse, only having felt a part of her, but she honestly hadn't realized Rika was that big. Judging by Yuta's noncommittal response, Utahime had a feeling she was even more massive than he'd suggested, toned down to not scare the kids. Hifumi seemed to know he was downplaying his curse on some level, eyeing him with a mixture of curiosity and animosity, but that was normal. They'd never encountered anyone like them before.

"You said she," Hifumi continued. "She got a name?"

Yuta nodded. "Rika – she was born with hers too, back when she...when she was a human."

Jiro's curse shifted in his arms and made a noise that almost sounded like a voice. He turned his head to press his ear closer to the curse's mouth, unafraid of its sharp teeth. When the curse was done with whatever it had to say, Jiro lifted his head and said, "You cursed her?"

"Yes." Yuta swallowed. "I was your age when it happened. My best friend died, and I…"

Jiro smoothed his hand down his curse's rough back. "That's sad."

"We didn't curse ours," Hifumi stated.

"Then how did you come to be friends with them?" Utahime asked.

Hifumi shrugged. "Dunno. They just showed up when we were babies." She wrinkled her nose, angry and petulant. "Mami said they crawled in our cribs and they thought they were gonna eat us, but they just slept next to us and never left. Always been by our sides, haven't they, no matter what." Tears burned at the edges of her eyes, and she looked away when she caught eyes with Utahime and knew she'd been caught. "They could've. They could've run away, but they didn't."

"They didn't want to leave you behind," Utahime said gently. "They care about you."

"People think they're scary," Hifumi said angrily. "But they aren't. They're nicer than people. I never met a nice person. They're mean and nasty and hurt us."

"What about the man who found you and brought you here?" Utahime asked carefully.

Jiro clung to his curse tighter. "Geto."

"Did he scare you?"

"He's not just a person," Hifumi stated matter-of-factly. "He told us he was a sorcerer, and we are too. That's why people were mean to us. They're monkeys and hate things they're afraid of, but we're special, so we had to come with him."

Utahime frowned. "We don't call non-sorcerers monkeys."

"That's what Geto called 'em," Hifumi said, sticking out her tongue. Her curse did the same, its tongue lolling out as its lips curled into a mocking grin. "Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys. That's what Mami and Soma were, and that's why Geto got rid of them. Monkeys don't deserve to live unless they listen and do what they're told."

Jiro slapped his hands over his ears, his curse growing more agitated in his lap. "Stop it!"

"Stop," Utahime told her. "You're upsetting your brother."

Instead of listening, Hijumi jumped to her feet, snarling at her twin. "You were too scared to watch, but I wasn't. I watched. Geto's curses got 'em. Ate 'em right up."

Horror dumped over Utahime like a bucket of cold water, but she kept a steady expression on her face. So her fears had been right. Geto had killed their parents in front of them – or maybe he had tried to shield them and Hifumi had taken a look anyway. Regardless, his actions and words had clearly left an impact on them, especially Hifumi, whose eyes were wild and bright. Her curse was standing up as well, the spikes standing up on its back and teeth bared.

"That's enough, Hifumi."

"And that's what our curses can do," Hifumi continued, turning on Utahime. She was panting, manic, her body trembling. "They can eat all the monkeys, and then no one will hurt us ever again! Never, never, never!"

Objects in the room began to rattle as her curse energy grew around her. Utahime didn't move from her spot on the floor, her eyes on the two children, watching the flow of energy between them and the curses. No… It wasn't Hifumi's curse energy that was causing a disturbance in the room. Despite her agitated state and her curse growing in size, it was Jiro's and his curse's energy that was shaking everything in the room. A chair crashed into a wall, wooden shards flying everywhere. Yuta stirred from his spot, ready to do something, but Utahime held up a hand.

"We can make our curses do whatever we want," Hifumi said decisively. "They're gonna eat all the monkeys up and be big and strong. That's what Geto told us, and my curse said he'll do it. He'll bite anyone that tries to hurt us and they'll get sick and die! Die, die, die!"

Jiro's curse whined loudly while he wailed, "Stop it!" A desk scraped loudly against the floor, crashing into the other. "Stop–"

Utahime took a breath. All things considered, her curse technique wasn't that powerful. It wasn't a force to be reckoned with in a battle; she couldn't wield it like a weapon, not like Gojo could with Limitless. It couldn't be seen in action like Megumi's Ten Shadows or Nobara's hammer and nail technique. She wasn't inherently strong like Maki or Yuuji. Back when they were teenagers, Gojo used to call it "cute," which she knew damn well wasn't a compliment.

"You fighting a curse or practicing for karaoke night?" he'd teased with a mocking laugh.

People could be cruel in this world, non-sorcerers and sorcerers alike.

It used to bother her. People couldn't help what type of techniques they were born with; all they could do was learn how to use them. She'd learned, grueling lessons drilled into her mind again and again, her body wounded when she struggled to use it in a fight. It wasn't impressive by any means, but it did the job in a pinch, and so she opened her mouth and began to softly sing a song from before the world broke.

"I look at you all, see the love there that's sleeping, while my guitar gently weeps."

The objects in the room stopped shaking. When Hifumi and her curse stilled and went silent, Jiro pulled his hands away from his ears and looked up at her, his watery eyes wide and frightened. Hifumi stared at her with a strange look on her face, confused and unable to move. Utahime watched the flow of their curse energy, the way it flickered like two twin flames on a candle, connecting and then separating.

"I look at the floor and I see it needs sleeping." Utahime turned her head and swept a hand over the floor, both the twins and the curses captivated as they watched her every movement. "Still my guitar gently weeps."

The curse energy around them dimmed into dull flames. The curses swayed to the gentle notes of her voice, lulled into a complacent state. Her curse technique didn't necessarily require her to sing an actual song, but she'd found it easier to maintain control if she did, especially depending on what she sang and how she sang it. Hifumi's eyelids dropped, and she staggered forward, her knees bending until she was sitting on her legs near Utahime. Jiro let go of his curse, and the little thing slithered over, the boy following it clumsily on his hands and knees.

Utahime cupped Jiro's cheek with one hand, taking in the dazed and peaceful look on his face. "I don't know why nobody told you," she sang to him warmly, "how to unfold your love."

Hifumi made a soft, protesting sound before she fell forward, resting her cheek on Utahime's leg. Her curse curled up in a ball and pressed itself into her chest, allowing Hifumi to wrap her arms around it protectively. Even Yuta had gone still and silent, and she could sense that his own curse energy had faded.

Laying a gentle hand on Hifumi's back, Utahime soothed, "I don't know how someone controlled you; they bought and sold you." Hifumi hiccuped in a tiny cry, and Jiro laid down as well, a mirror image of his sister with his curse in his arms. Utahime lowered her voice into little more than a whisper, her curse energy wafting over them like a breath of air or maybe a calming blanket. "I look at the world and I notice it's turning, while my guitar gently weeps…"

When she finished, the two children and their curses were calm, their breaths steady, eyes still open as they lay peacefully. Utahime hadn't used the extent of her ability, or they would've fallen asleep a lot quicker, but that hadn't been her intention. No, she'd only wanted to calm them down. They were completely unable to control their curse energy and, considering what Hifumi had said about her curse, it could perhaps cause their curses to lash out and hurt someone.

"I'm sorry for using my technique on you," Utahime told the children as she rubbed their backs. They were staring at each other, but for the first time since she'd seen them (and maybe in their lives), they were at peace. "And I'm sorry for what you went through. I know words mean nothing. You were hurt, betrayed, and abandoned by people that should've loved you, and we can only do so much to make up for that, but I want to help you. I'm not afraid of you, and I won't abandon you, I swear on my heart."

Both children were silent for a while. Utahime let out a breath, her hands drawing gentle circles on their backs. Even their curses cooed, reminding her of baby birds. It was weird, being this close to curses without feeling any sort of animosity from them, but Utahime knew better than to try to touch them as she'd done Geto's curse last night. She'd had to cross the line with him to get her point across, but it wouldn't work the same here.

"His name is Kazuki," Hifumi suddenly said, digging her fingers into her curse's fur. She looked up to Utahime without moving her head, her eyes covered in a film of tears. "You promise you won't take him away?"

"I promise," Utahime said without hesitation. Jiro didn't say anything, his face buried into his curse's body, but he didn't need to tell her yet if he wasn't comfortable. She could be patient and wait as long as he needed to open up.

Behind her, Yuta stirred and walked over to them, crouching down to her level beside her. "That was…"

Utahime smiled weakly. "I know it's not much, but…"

"No, I thought–" Yuta held out a hand and then carefully pat Hifumi on the head. "I thought it was beautiful." Warmth blossomed in Utahime's chest, but she could tell he wasn't done, so she waited. He swallowed thickly. "I see myself in them – both sides, the fear and anger. It feels like I'm fighting them all the time, and I never win."

"You're not alone either, you know," Utahime pointed out.

"No, I-I know." Yuta took a breath. "Thank you for reminding me."

"Miss Iori?" Jiro asked.

Utahime gazed back down at him. "Yes?"

Jiro reached out at the same time as Hifumi, their fingers interlocking. "Can we stay here a while? We don't wanna go back to the classroom."

"Of course you can," Utahime told them. "We can come back here for lessons if you want – or maybe even go outside. Would you all like that?"

Hifumi's lips twitched upward. "Yah, outside sounds nice."

"Can you sing again?" Jiro asked. "They liked it. You have a pretty voice."

Chuckling under her breath, Utahime nodded. "Okay." She glanced at Yuta, who was still gazing down at the children. "Any requests?"

Yuta burned pink. "Oh, I don't know. I think anything would be nice."

It wasn't quite the lesson that Utahime had expected, but then again, she hadn't thought they would be able to have a proper one right off the bat. These children clearly needed more than that. She knew kids like that – she was familiar with them, taught them, loved them. Before they could actually start to work, they needed to break through the walls holding them back. Geto might have pulled them out of that cage, but they were still trapped.

It would take her a little while before proper lessons could begin, so hopefully Geto would give her some leeway or at least be understanding. She didn't want to lie to them.

Chapter 10

Notes:

"Get out of the way, boys! I'm here to write about Utahime being a mom!" That's what my brain sounds like to me whenever I write for this fic, and honestly, I'm not complaining. Also, I've been listening to this song on repeat while writing this NGL.

Chapter Text

Gojo and Geto must've been busy because she barely saw either one of them for the rest of the week. Besides a few glimpses of Geto around the compound and Gojo popping in on her randomly throughout the day, she was mostly left to her own devices, which meant she spent a lot of time with Jiro and Hifumi. After five days, they were a lot better than before, but she could tell they weren't ready to join the class again. She was worried they'd grow dependent on her, so she'd have to ease them into it eventually, but for now, she was content to work with them.

As was the case with many twins, their curse energy was dependent on each other, growing as long as they both wanted it. Hifumi was clearly the more dominant twin, but Jiro didn't want to displease her or be left behind, so he followed whatever she did. It reminded Utahime painfully of Maki and Mai, except Mai hadn't wanted to grow at all and had forced her twin sister's growth to stall. With these two, Hifumi pulled her brother by the hand, forcing him to grow with her.

An unusual thing was that their curse techniques seemed to be dependent on each other as well. At the least, they worked well together. Without each other, they might have been considered just grade three, but on top of the incredible and dangerous amount of curse energy they inherently possessed, their techniques combined provided a very interesting twist. Hifumi could take cursed energy from curses and even sorcerers, absorbing it into her body, while Jiro was a natural amplifier.

On paper, it didn't seem like much, but Utahime realized after a few times that their techniques didn't affect just them. Jiro had unintentionally amplified Utahime's technique when she used it to calm them down, and Hifumi had absorbed part of it while she was singing. Even more interesting was the way it affected the curses drawn to them. The more curse energy Hifumi drew in, the stronger Jiro amplified it, and because of their deep connection to their curses, their techniques bled into them through touch.

In a sense, Hifumi could draw in massive amounts of curse energy, Jiro could amplify it, and she could pour the excess into their curses, making them impossibly strong. Even Yuta had been forced to put his foot down when Hifumi's curse caused a strong gust of wind amplified by Jiro's technique.

Needless to say, after the second day when a chair exploded, Utahime moved their lessons outside.

It took some convincing. Both the children and curses were leery about the outside, especially since everything was so bright. She found a very private and open space with a tree they could hide under should they get too overwhelmed. By the end of the week, Hifumi and Jiro were freely running around outside, excited even when Utahime pushed the doors, and their curses had begun to lay outside of the shade as if sunbathing.

They'd grown terribly fond of Yuta too. Fortunately, he was a good sport about it. Utahime couldn't help but laugh as Hifumi hung from his arm and kicked her legs in the air while her Kazuki climbed up his back, forcing his head to tilt back when its claws dug into his hair. Yuta winced a little, but that didn't stop him from laughing as Hifumi tried her best to kick him.

"Show her!" Hifumi demanded. "Or I'll beat ya up!"

"You're gonna beat me up?" Yuta asked, unable to hide his amusement.

"Yah, me and Kazuki both!"

"What do you think?" Utahime asked, looking at Jiro, who was laying on his back in the grass, his curse plopped on his stomach. He hadn't told her his curse's name yet, but she hadn't pushed him either. He was much less open than his sister, a near-perfect reflection of her. They had to be two sides of the same coin in order to survive.

Jiro sat up and admitted, "We wanna see her too."

Yuta hesitated, the humor fading from his face. "Are you sure?"

Hifumi nodded frantically. "Yah!"

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Yuta took a deep breath and nodded. "I can't… She can't come out all the way. She's too big. It'll startle everyone here."

Upon letting go of Yuta's arm, Hifumi dropped to her feet and stated, "Who cares about 'em? They can be chickens!"

Well, it was better than monkeys, she supposed. It was hard to break Hifumi's habit of calling non-sorcerers "monkeys," but she was getting better. Geto had made an incredible impression on them both. They'd absorbed everything he had said to them since taking them in, but being so young, they weren't able to fully understand what Geto meant. Hifumi had at least gotten the basics.

Non-sorcerers deserved to either die or be used.

"Yuta is right," Utahime told them calmly. "It's important to consider other people and their feelings – and also the consequences of your actions."

His eyes turned to her, and Utahime nodded, giving him the all-clear. She would be lying if she didn't admit that these lessons were partly for Yuta as well. He needed to learn how to open himself up to others, to trust them, and, as had been brought up multiple times, to control his curse energy when he wasn't using it. His curse energy reflected his emotions, just as it did with the twins', and also affected the curse attached to him.

Plus, Utahime couldn't deny her curiosity. Yuta talked about the curse following him as if it was a friend, perhaps his only one for years, but she could still recall the overwhelmingly sickening and dark feeling she'd felt upon first meeting him and when he'd confronted Negi. Bigger than a building didn't feel like a description that even scratched the surface.

Taking a deep breath, Yuta turned around and smiled. "It's okay, Rika. You can come out."

One second, they were sitting outside on a beautiful day, the sun bathing them in its warmth, the sky blue as it could be – and then she felt as if she was swamped in curse energy. Utahime watched in muted horror and fascination as a long claw seemingly tore through the fabric of space, making the space wider so that an entire hand could push through. It was massive, bigger than Yuta, and could easily snatch the two children up in one grasp.

When the second arm pushed itself out from the void, Jiro and his curse stirred, shuffling backward a little, but Hifumi stood stock still, her mouth gaping wide open. Her curse trilled strangely, and she held out a hand, allowing it to curl underneath her touch. Utahime's eyes flickered to Jiro, watching his control over his curse energy, but he didn't seem to be activating his technique. No, this was Rika's natural size – or perhaps even smaller since Yuta was keeping a lid on his energy.

Utahime nearly jumped to her feet when the curse pushed its head into view. It was only the tip, just enough for it to see them, but she felt as if she couldn't breathe, the sheer extent of its curse energy pressing down on her like a heavy weight. This was far stronger than any of the curses in Geto's arsenal. Rika made the one he'd tried to use to intimidate her look like a puppy. This was… She was beyond anything Utahime could've imagined.

The only time she had ever felt something akin to this power was when Sukuna had been in control of Yuuji's body briefly. And anyone dared to mock Yuta or question him with such power at his behest? She couldn't imagine it. No wonder Gojo and Geto favored him so much.

"Wow," Hifumi breathed. "You feel that Kazuki? She's strong."

"Yu-ta," the curse croaked, reaching out to him.

Without any hesitation, Yuta stepped into the curse's reach and lifted a hand to touch its face. "You see them? They're kind of like us."

The curse's gaze roved over the children and their little curses and then to Utahime, landing on her firmly. Utahime couldn't read it at all. She knew in that instant that the curse could've killed her on the spot before she could even react. It was a bit like standing before Gojo when he was at his strongest. All you knew was your death.

"Pro-tect?"

Yuta smiled and fondly patted the curse's face. "Yes, protect."

Even though her face was sweaty with the effort to control herself, Hifumi inched forward, her curse protesting softly. "Can I…?" Her eyes were lit up, manic and awed. "Can I touch her?"

"Don't–" Utahime's voice caught in her throat, and Yuta and Hifumi glanced back at her. "Don't activate your technique."

Hifumi pressed her lips together. "I won't."

Yuta bent down and picked Hifumi up by her waist. He wasn't physically strong like Yuuji or built like Todo, but the massive amount of curse energy in his body allowed him to pick her up with relative ease. With a tentative hand, Hifumi reached out and then touched one of Rika's fingers, not even coming close to wrapping her hand around it. The curse only reacted by tilting its head slightly, as if confused by the gesture.

"She's warm," Hifumi noted in a distant voice. "What can she do?"

"She… She can help me copy techniques," Yuta explained.

Hifumi turned her head to look at him. "Even mine?"

Yuta nodded. "Yup, even yours."

"What about Miss Iori's?"

A sheepish smile crossed Yuta's face. "Yes, but I wouldn't sound as nice." Upon setting Hifumi back down, her curse nervously ran about her legs, twisting its lithe body between them and curling around her. Yuta grasped the same finger as Hifumi had and said, "You can go back now. We'll play later, okay?"

The curse dissolved back into that tear until finally it disappeared as if it had never been there to begin with. Utahime stared at the empty space, not even seeing the trees behind it, until she finally managed to snap herself out of it. With Rika gone, that powerful sense of dread went away with her, and Utahime took in a deep breath. She didn't know what to say or even think. That had only been a portion of the curse, and she'd felt overwhelmed entirely.

No wonder Geto wanted Rika.

Yuta peered at her nervously. "Utahime?"

Although her stomach was still turning, Utahime forced a smile onto her face. "I'm fine."

She turned to the children. Jiro wore an impassive expression on his face, playing with a blade of grass while his curse was curled up in his lap, making itself as small as possible. The curses attached to them were a reflection of their souls as well. She had to wonder if it was their actual behavior or if it had been molded by their time with the kids.

"I think we're done for the day," Utahime told them.

Hifumi cheered and did a cartwheel, flopping onto her back instead of landing properly, her curse jumping on her and the two of them rolling around in the grass. Utahime giggled behind her hand. She was a wild thing. Being locked up, by her parents and that classroom, must have been terrible for her. Meanwhile, Jiro offered her a small smile and, after whispering to the curse in his lap, the curse hopped off to stretch and he stood up as well.

As the kids and their curses played, Utahime stood up and smoothed out her clothes, brushing grass and dirt off her pants. Today had been a good day, a solid ending to their week of lessons. She could really feel the first hints of hope. They were truly making progress. It was small, but the difference in their behavior was already staggering. They weren't hiding in the shadows anymore and even their curses got closer to her.

Utahime really felt like she was doing something.

"This seems a bit unruly for a lesson, doesn't it?" an unfortunately familiar voice called.

Calmly turning around, Utahime watched as both Geto and Gojo walked over to them. It was the first time she'd seen them together in years. Strangely, it didn't look that much different from when she knew them before. Both of them exuded power and strength even without showing off the full extent of their curse energy, but Gojo's step was bouncier and more energetic whereas Geto's was filled with purpose.

"We're done for lessons today," Utahime told Geto. "They deserve some playtime before going back inside to wash up for dinner."

Geto's eyes flickered to the children spinning around in circles with each other, their curses slipping between their legs without tripping them up. "You seem to have a handle on them."

Gojo bumped shoulders with him, a playful grin on his face. "See? I told you she was good."

"Mm, yes," Geto said, sounding vaguely unimpressed. Strangely, Utahime felt as if he was simply putting on a show. Maybe he wasn't the only one that liked being difficult sometimes, but no doubt, he wouldn't want to let Gojo know he was right. She didn't care: she knew what she was doing and she knew she was doing it well. "You're doing better than I expected."

"Thank you, Geto," Utahime replied, only a hint dry.

A pout crossed Gojo's lips. "Where's my thanks? I believed in you first."

Yeah, and he'd also kidnapped her and kind of forced her into this position. Nonetheless, Utahime gave him a smile and, in a much drier tone, added, "And thank you, Gojo, for having faith in me."

Despite her tone, Gojo seemed appeased, the pout flipping into a grin again, as if he was some sort of puppy and flourished under praise. "I knew you'd do well."

"They've been using their curse techniques?" Geto asked.

"Yes, although they're still very much tied to their emotions," Utahime responded, turning to look at the children again. Having noticed Geto and Gojo, they'd become much more subdued, their eyes flickering to the men every now and then, and she noticed the way Jiro clung to his curse a little tighter. "They lack the basic control and ability to subdue their techniques if they get too riled up."

"Dangerous?" Geto asked.

Utahime gestured vaguely. "If they're both activating their techniques at the same time, then it could be. They feed off each other."

"Which one is more troublesome?" Geto pressed.

Gojo pointed to Hifumi, who was watching them more openly. "I'm betting on the girl."

"Don't point at her," Utahime scolded. "That's rude. It'll make her uncomfortable." With a shrug, Gojo dropped his hand. She took a breath and continued, "It's hard to say. I think Jiro could potentially cause more collateral damage with his amplification technique, but Hifumi's ability to absorb curse energy could be very problematic if she takes too much. She doesn't have Gojo's Limitless capabilities, so she'll have a cap and could go over."

As she spoke, Geto watched her carefully, only speaking when she was finished. "You've thought a lot about this."

"I'm here to help them, aren't I?" Utahime held out a hand. "Besides, I'm used to working with children with difficult techniques – and that includes both of you."

At that, a faint smile flickered onto Geto's face. "We weren't that difficult, were we?"

"The worst," Utahime sniffed.

"Aw, no, we weren't." Gojo stepped to the side around her and bumped shoulders with Yuta, who nearly jumped at the action. Quiet as he was, she hadn't noticed him walk up behind them. "She's only teasing. She loved us back then, especially me. I was her favorite kohai."

"No, that was definitely Shoko," Utahime shot back.

The mention of Shoko changed the air abruptly, and she struggled not to wince. The smile fell from Geto's face and even Gojo became a bit more distant. It was hard not to ask them about their feelings about Shoko, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer. Shoko hadn't wanted to talk about them much either.

In an attempt to quickly move past the awkwardness, Utahime stated, "I should get the kids inside. They've expended enough energy where they should be okay during dinner with the other children."

"It's only been five days, and you're already attached," Geto said in a strange tone.

A suspicious frown tugged at Utahime's lips. "It's hard not to get attached, especially when it is so difficult to gain their trust."

"You've done well with the time given," Geto replied.

Gojo huffed. "Enough with the third degree. She's proven herself capable and useful. She's not the weak girl you remember." Utahime shot Gojo a glare, and he shrugged. "Well, you were. It was adorable. I always felt like I had to protect you."

Unlike Gojo, Geto wasn't flippant or entertained. He gazed down at her, unblinking and impassive. "You truly care about them, don't you?"

Utahime folded her arms across her chest. "Of course I do. I care about all my students."

The grin that cut across Geto's face was more mocking than warm, especially when he reached out to cup her chin in one of his hands. "Well, aren't you sweet, Utahime? Are you going to mother all these lost children who have no one else to turn to?"

Flushing hotly, Utahime slapped Geto's hand away and snapped, "Stop being such an ass. I'm only trying to help."

Instead of getting insulted, Geto laughed. "You're right. She really is amusing to rile up."

Gojo suddenly threw an arm over her shoulder, knocking her off balance, and pulled her against his side. "Yeah, I wasn't telling you to try it out. Asshole."

Although he appeared mostly casual, Utahime could sense the anger simmering underneath the surface. His body was stiff against her, his muscles tense as he held her. She knew without even attempting that if she tried to pull away, he wouldn't let her go, at least not with Geto around. Seeing them interact together was...interesting. They fed off each other as well, but she could see where they butted heads too, the two of them pushing one another.

Geto snorted, his eyes moving away from them. "Careful, Gojo, I think your pup might be becoming more loyal to Utahime than you."

Gojo's head turned slightly. "Yuta? You think so?"

When Utahime caught eyes with him, Yuta flushed and lowered his gaze. He shifted awkwardly on his feet and scratched the back of his head. So distracted by Geto and Gojo, she hadn't caught onto the fact that Yuta's curse energy had swelled again, but it was undeniably there, on par with both Geto and Gojo. It was startling to see someone on the same level as them. She hadn't thought it possible.

"Yuta, can you take Jiro and Hifumi back to the dorms?" Utahime asked.

"I–" Yuta looked up. "Are you–?" His eyes bounced from all three of them. "Are you sure you want me to leave?"

Geto chuckled. "How adorable."

Utahime scowled at them, then smoothed over her expression and looked back at Yuta. "Yes, I'll be fine. I can handle these two."

"Mm, can you?" Gojo teased, toying with the front of her kosode.

Utahime squirmed under Gojo's arm, twisting away from him as much as possible, and he laughed. Yuta gave her one last look, a pitifully torn one, and then did as he was told. She watched him herd Hifumi, Jiro, and their curses. Jiro even grabbed his hand, which startled Yuta, but he didn't pull away. Utahime let out a breath. It was progress. That was all she could hope for some days.

"Don't be so moody, Hime," Gojo said. "We were only joking."

"And you were the only ones laughing," Utahime pointed out, jerking away from him. He let her go, though judging from the tense lines around his mouth, he wasn't pleased. Maybe she'd embarrassed him in front of Geto by not molding to his whims. Whatever. That was his problem. "Now, are you two done? I'd like to wash up as well before I make dinner."

Geto raised an eyebrow. "You cook your own dinner?"

"I'm not the spoiled kings of jujutsu here," Utahime replied tartly. "And I enjoy it."

"She's actually pretty decent," Gojo quipped, back to being playful. "I had some of her katsu curry the other night."

Utahime twisted her lips. "That was for the kitchen staff."

"Oh, Utahime," Gojo said with a fond chuckle. "They wouldn't eat something a sorcerer prepared. That's backward for them, and they'd be afraid of getting in trouble for you doing their job." He moved his head in a way that let her know he was glancing in Geto's direction despite wearing his blindfold. "They're trained well."

"How charming," Utahime grumbled, feeling her stomach turn. Maybe she wouldn't cook dinner tonight. If it was that much of a bother, she might've been creating more stress instead, and she didn't want to do that. Such simple things could be so damn frustrating.

"Actually, that's what we're here to speak with you about," Geto said.

She looked to him, but it was Gojo that continued, "Join us for dinner."

Utahime furrowed her brow. "What?"

"It won't be just us," Geto explained, eyeing Gojo with an air of disappointment. "Gojo is misleading on purpose." Well, if that wasn't par for the course. True to his nature, he simply shrugged in response, uncaring of the callout. "We're having dinner with some of the other commanders, those in higher positions in our following. It's not a formal meeting, so don't worry, we won't divulge classified information for you to hear, just a dinner to catch up."

"That sounds…" Utahime tried to find a word that wouldn't sound as if she hated the idea but couldn't find one. "Quaint."

Gojo grinned. "There's usually at least one argument. Someone got stabbed last time. It was a lot of fun."

An alarmed expression flashed across Utahime's face. "And you just let it happen?"

Geto let out a sigh that suggested he hadn't found it as entertaining as Gojo. "To be fair, there was cheating involved, so better to air it out where we can contain the situation and resolve it than let it blow up in the field."

Utahime rubbed her temple. "Why do you want me there?"

"What if I said I wanna show you off?" Gojo asked, his grin taking a sharp turn.

She stopped rubbing and narrowed her eyes at him. "I'd say you were full of it."

"That is definitely what he wants to do," Geto said. "However, since Gojo is so intent about you being here and since you're essentially teaching now, I only thought it fair that the others meet you. Plus, you've been on your own or with Mai and Yuta." He wrinkled his nose. "I think you've spent more time with the servants than other sorcerers besides them."

"Well, pardon me, but the few sorcerers I did meet either had their noses stuck up Gojo's ass or they hated me," Utahime replied dryly, folding her arms across her chest. "They know who I am. I doubt a dinner will smooth things over."

"They were all on the other side before joining us," Geto pointed out.

Maybe so, but just as he wasn't keen on her, many of the other stronger sorcerers she'd crossed paths with seemed irritated by her presence as well. Not to mention there was that group of people that Mai had warned her about – Gojo's little fan club. She'd caught strangers outright glaring at her as if she was a cockroach in the kitchen.

Gojo fingered a strand of her hair hanging over the front of her shoulder. "Don't worry. No one will try to mess with you while we're there. I'll protect you."

"Fabulous," Utahime grumbled, her gaze dropping to his fingers.

Geto looked her over. "If it makes you feel better, Yuta could come too."

Utahime opened her mouth, then closed it. Honestly, Yuta being there would make her feel better, but she didn't think he would be comfortable. The more powerful the sorcerer, the more he tended to avoid them – and the more they seemed to resent him. With his curse energy and technique, he should've been a commander, but he didn't seem to hold any position of power. However, there was one person she thought might do well in a situation like this.

"What about Mai?" Utahime asked hesitantly.

Gojo clapped his hands together. "They can both come!"

Shaking his head, Geto rolled his eyes. "You just want them there because you know it'll unsettle the others. I suppose it could work to our benefit."

"Unsettle them?" That wasn't what Utahime wanted.

"You'll see," Gojo replied cheekily, right before taking her wrist and tugging her toward the building. "Now, c'mon, let's get you ready. I meant it when I said that I wanna show you off."

"Satoru," Geto snapped. "Don't be late."

Unfortunately for all of them, Gojo used his free hand to wave dismissively at Geto without looking back, tossing a vague, "Yeah, yeah," at him.

All Utahime could do was follow, pulled away by Gojo's energy. She glanced back at Geto, although she wasn't sure why (to give him an apologetic look, to ask for his interference, to gauge his feelings?), but he'd turned his back on them, eyeing the area where Hifumi and Jiro had been playing with their curses – where Rika had manifested.

Utahime's stomach flipped. For some reason, it felt like it meant something, but she didn't know what. That pretty much summed up all her thoughts about Geto, and she couldn't deny that she was a little relieved to be taken away by Gojo again.

Chapter 11

Notes:

Originally, this chapter was over 8k and included the dinner too, but it felt so long and I was tired after writing so much in one sitting, so I ended up splitting it. That gave me a bit of relief so I already have the next chapter written. Also, sometimes I just really like needy and possessive Gojo. LOL

Chapter Text

Her relief over Gojo taking her away from Geto was short-lived. Upon whisking her away to her quarters, she was swiftly reminded that Gojo either didn't understand the concept of personal space or he didn't care. The latter was much more likely, because as soon as the door shut, he was all over her.

"Honestly, Gojo," Utahime sighed as she walked into her room, "if you're inviting me to cause trouble–"

She cut herself off with a yelp when Gojo spun around by her shoulder and then cupped her cheek so he could tilt her head up and press his lips against hers. Her first thought was to push him away, but then she laid her hands on his chest and just...didn't. It was hard fighting him, and she didn't want to always do it, especially when he was so strong. His affection and desire were overwhelming, sweeping her off her feet.

He pulled his lips away from hers just enough to say, "You're better than I imagined."

Utahime furrowed her brow and leaned back further. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Gojo tilted his head. "You really think we haven't been keeping an eye on you this whole week?"

Pressing her lips into a frown, Utahime mumbled, "I guess that was too much to ask."

"Suguru was so insistent and nosy about it," Gojo huffed in a dismissive tone, gesturing vaguely with his free hand, "but I can't deny that I was curious." He smiled and kissed her again, as if he couldn't help himself and was drawn to her. "You did so well; even Suguru had to admit that they've already shown marked improvement."

"Glad to know I can do my job to your satisfaction." As if she hadn't been doing it for years and under much more difficult circumstances, no thanks to them.

"I knew you could do it," Gojo pointed out. "It was Suguru you had to impress."

Utahime huffed irritably. "Of course, your cult's gracious leader, Geto Suguru. I hope I was able to meet his high standards." If she heard someone else refer to him or Gojo as gracious, it would be too soon.

"You did." Gojo rubbed a thumb across the scar on her cheek, a strange look on his face. She eyed him warily, unsure of what he was thinking. "Can't deny you looked good like that. You were in your element with them. Those kids really adore you, and you even looked happy to be with them. Tugging at your hands, clinging to your legs, smiling whenever they met your approval – it was cute."

Rolling her eyes, Utahime pulled away from him slightly. "Stop."

"You're gonna give a man ideas," Gojo continued playfully, lifting up the blindfold to reveal one of his bright blue eyes.

Utahime flushed and pulled out of his grip. "Stop it. You're being weird."

"I know it affected Suguru." He dropped his blindfold back in place, and a grin pulled at his lips, but it didn't look amused. There was some tension in it, like he wasn't entirely pleased. "He'll never admit it, of course, but ever since he took in Nanako and Mimiko all those years ago, he's like putty when it comes to kids. He was worried about Hifumi and Jiro since they didn't take to him as well as he thought, but you've put his concerns at ease."

"Well–" Utahime folded her arms across her chest and turned away. "Good."

She didn't know what else to say. Had she been nervous about living up to their expectations? Yes, if she had to be honest. She wasn't sure what would happen to her if she didn't. She'd told herself that it didn't matter – that her only concern was the children – but that had been just a lie to placate herself and stop from losing focus. Maybe she had been a little worried that she would disappoint Gojo and he would…

He would hurt her or get rid of her. She'd seen him callously kill former comrades before.

"Can I get ready now?" Utahime asked, not looking at him. "Geto said not to be late."

"Being late is kind of the point," Gojo said, which only made Utahime scowl back at him.

"Is everything a chance for a power play with you two?"

Gojo shrugged. "It's not just him. It's the others as well. Gotta make sure they don't get too arrogant. Geto talks them up so they feel important and do as they're told, and I keep them on the level so they don't try for more."

Maybe it had to be a game, what with how complex this whole thing was, but Utahime found it rather exhausting. She hated dealing with the politics of jujutsu society and dealing with the higher-ups that made it clear they didn't think she was worth much. This felt just as bad to her, but Gojo seemed to enjoy it, practically flourishing. Maybe it was different since he was at the top here and no one challenged him.

Or maybe he was just a bastard.

A second later, Gojo was on her again, dropping his chin on her shoulder and wrapping an arm around her to tug at her shirt again. "I can help you get ready."

"I'm a grown woman, not a child," Utahime told him. "I can do that myself."

Gojo snorted. "I can help you get undressed then."

Utahime did her best not to squirm too much. "No."

"Suguru got to see you nearly naked," Gojo pointed out. His tone was off. She had expected him to sound whiny like he sometimes did to cajole her into doing as he wished, but instead, she thought he sounded...angry. "That's not fair."

"It's not like I had any choice in that," Utahime shot back tartly, even as her stomach flipped. She couldn't see his face, so she didn't know what expression he was wearing, but she could imagine it – the slight downward tilt of his lips, his brow furrowed just enough to show he was displeased.

Gojo's hold on her tightened just a hair, and his hand slipped through the opening of her kosode to rest on her stomach. "And then he had to go and fucking pull that bullshit out there. He did it on purpose, and I knew it yet I still–"

And yet he still reacted poorly. Geto's only interest in her probably laid in Gojo's interest in her – and maybe if she could prove herself useful while she was here. Unlike Gojo, Geto knew she'd never truly be on their side – how could she? – but he'd use her if he could, just like he would anyone else. If he could teach Gojo a lesson in the process and put him in his place at his unruliest as well?

It'd kill two birds with one stone.

Still, Geto had to have known pushing Gojo's buttons like that would unsettle him and even piss him off into acting out, hence his warning about not being late. It hadn't been for Gojo, not really; it had been for her.

Utahime swallowed, trying not to let herself get distracted by Gojo's fingertips ghosting over her bare stomach. "It didn't mean anything. He was just trying to intimidate me again and throw you off-balance. Don't let him win."

"I know that," Gojo muttered, nuzzling her neck with his nose, "but I still don't like it."

"Well, I'm here with you now, aren't I?" Utahime stated. "Doesn't that count for something?"

"No, I want more," Gojo said, a little needier this time, his breath hot against her neck. "C'mon, Hime, you gotta give me something."

She didn't want to give Geto more reason to hate her, especially when it came to Gojo, and she really didn't want to give into Gojo either, but her body shivered from his words, a hint of pleasure burning inside of her over his desire for her, and that was all the confirmation he seemed to need to push forward.

He kissed her neck, biting down and sucking on the vulnerable skin so intensely that she was afraid he would leave a mark. His lips trailed up and over her jaw, and he began to undo her kosode. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a part of her wanted to push him away, but instead, she turned her head toward him when he kissed her cheek.

Turning her around to face him again, he captured her lips once more, molding them to fit his, and slid one of his hands over her exposed side with her shirt pushed open. She tried hard not to tremble under his touch, especially as his thumb rubbed circles over her skin, but Gojo was relentless, tugging on her sleeves to pull the garment completely off and making her whimper.

"Much better," Gojo sighed against her lips, his hand roaming over her.

"This isn't helping me," Utahime mumbled.

"Isn't it?" Gojo pushed until her back was pressed against the wall and then leaned back so he could pull his blindfold up and look over her body. She blushed under the intense scrutiny. It was different from when Geto had walked in on her while she was changing. She could see the hunger in Gojo's blue eyes, his pupils darker and more blown out than normal, reminding her of a storm.

It would've been easy to just ride out the storm. She couldn't deny that a part of her wanted to do it – maybe in part to skip the dinner and maybe to just get it over with and let him have her the way she knew they both wanted. His hand drifted over body slowly, as if he was mapping her by touch alone, his fingers tracing every scar that had marked her. Some of them were old, back from her time in school. Others were new, created during fights with curse users under his command.

He'd left his mark on her too, even if it wasn't visible to the naked eye. Maybe he could see it with his Six Eyes.

Resisting the urge to fold her arms across her chest in an attempt to hide (because she knew Gojo wouldn't let her do that), Utahime once again forced out a tense, "Can I get ready now?"

"Maybe we should skip the dinner," Gojo said instead, still staring at her openly.

Utahime scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Geto would just come here to drag you there himself."

Gojo frowned. "Good point. I don't want him interrupting us." He leaned down to kiss her again, softly at first, and then bit her bottom lip as if to make a point. "We'll have some time to ourselves soon, I promise. You're so mean, getting me worked up like this when we have things to do."

His fingers trailed over her side, pressing against the bones of her ribcage as if playing the piano. She wouldn't have been surprised if he could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Being in his hands like this always made her heart race. It was still difficult not to be afraid of him when she'd seen what brutal atrocities he was capable of doing, but it was more than that too. Stupid man. She hated the way she played right into his whims even now.

"I didn't do anything," Utahime insisted irritably.

"Oh, Utahime, you have no idea what that innocent act does to me," Gojo said with a laugh, pulling away from her. "I'm not a patient man, but I'll wait for you a bit longer."

When Gojo let go of her and stepped back, Utahime swallowed and slumped against the wall. He pulled his blindfold back down in place and left her to get ready, a fresh pair of clothes folded on the dresser. The outfit was even nicer than the ones before, not the typical miko she wore and definitely meant to show her off, but she got dressed quickly with shaky hands. She didn't have it in her to argue with him, especially when she had a feeling she'd need her strength for this dinner.

It wouldn't end well – it couldn't – but for whatever reasons, they wanted her there. She could more or less figure out Gojo's, seeing as how she could honestly believe he wanted to parade her about, but she didn't understand Geto's reasoning. Maybe he could show off – give her an exact view of his power and strength with those that worked directly under them. He was capable of arrogance too, after all.

After she was finished changing, Utahime stepped up to the door. She grabbed the handle and then paused, staring at it for a moment before letting go to knock on the door instead. It clicked, unlocking, and she let out a breath. Still not taking any chances then. Either that, or he just liked her locked inside.

As soon as Gojo's eyes landed on her, she saw them spark up, and he opened his mouth, but she pressed a finger against his lips and snapped, "Don't."

Gojo didn't seem bothered, even when she walked past him, taking only two steps to catch up with her. "I think you might be the only woman who doesn't like compliments."

"It's not much of a compliment when it feels like you're dressing me up like a doll," Utahime grumbled irritably, refusing to look at him.

That wasn't a problem for him either, not when he could simply jump to walk in front of her, turning around so that he was walking backward with ease. He could dodge anyone, but he didn't have to, not with the way people stepped to the side to avoid him. An ocean would probably part for him.

"You are beautiful, Utahime," Gojo told her, his voice softer than usual, more genuine.

Utahime's cheeks burned, and she glanced away, trying to look around him and stay focused on the hallway. Truth be told, she didn't know where she was going, but at least this way, she could pretend like she wasn't following him. She had no way to gauge what this dinner would be like. Chaotic? Aggressive? Awkward? She'd only spoken to one commander, and Yuta had nearly cut his hand off because of his behavior toward her. Would the others be like that?

She was the enemy, after all, no matter Gojo's reasons for bringing her here. Geto wouldn't let her forget that, and she doubted the others under their command would either.

"Scared?" Gojo asked, still walking ahead of her.

Utahime bit her lip and begrudgingly admitted, "Yes."

"You won't be alone. If anyone has a problem, they're free to speak up, but no one will do anything to harm you." Gojo scratched the back of his head, a rather thoughtful expression on his face. "I doubt even I'd have to lift a finger. Geto was probably right about Yuta. You haven't even been here a month, and I'm pretty sure that boy would do anything for you."

Her lips dipped into a frown. "I don't want him to feel like he has to do that."

"He knows that – or, at the least, he's figuring it out," Gojo reassured her. "Suguru might be worried, but I think it's good. He needs to learn he can make his own choices."

"It wouldn't be so difficult if you and Geto didn't treat him like a game piece," Utahime muttered under her breath. She understood how he felt, but Gojo wouldn't get it. He didn't know what it was like to be trapped between two powerful players – to feel as if you might be knocked off if one thought sacrificing you was worth the price or if the other no longer thought you useful.

Even she felt as if she had to prove her worth in order to stay on the board, and she didn't want to work under them.

Gojo stopped in front of a large door where a servant stood outside, but before they could move to slide open the door and let them inside, he pushed her against the opposite wall, putting her in place with his body. He placed a finger under her chin, lifting her head up, and she stared up at him, trying her hardest to steady her heartbeat.

"You're fine," Gojo told her. "Someone is bound to say something, but it doesn't matter."

Utahime sighed. "Look, I don't care what anyone else here thinks. I'm the enemy either way, so it's not like I expect or want them to like me." Plus, as she had told Geto when he first confronted her, it wasn't as if she'd asked to be here. She was simply trying to survive. "I'm used to being looked down upon. It's nothing new, so anything they say won't hurt me."

"If it gets too much, just look at me," Gojo told her. "Suguru is bound to play his little games with you, but as long as you don't fall for his traps, he won't cross the line."

Shaking her head, Utahime pointed out, "You say that, but it's different here, and I'm not you. I don't want Geto to hate me."

"I dunno," Gojo hummed. "It'd be nicer if he did."

Utahime frowned. "Perhaps for you, but I'd rather him not want me dead, and I think insulting or humiliating him in front of his commanders would do just that."

Gojo bent down so that his lips were only a few inches away from hers. "Just remember: you're here with me – in every way. I chose you."

Unable to help herself, Utahime rolled her eyes. "Oh, trust me, I know, although I'm still not sure why."

Instead of getting irritated or mad at her for dismissing him, Gojo grinned. "For that right there. You don't know how much I missed that attitude of yours." He closed the space between them, guiding her lips to his. There was a sense of yearning in the kiss, catching Utahime off guard, as if he'd understood the whole time that she didn't belong to him yet. He pulled back before she could think about it longer. "Now, c'mon, let's get this show on the road. I'm positive at least one argument will break out, but I'm dying to see who will start it."

When Gojo turned around, the servants standing at the door quickly slid it open without being asked and bowed so low that they were nearly horizontal with the ground. Gojo took Utahime's wrist and pulled her inside with him, the door shutting before Utahime could thank them.

And so the dinner began.

Chapter 12

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The moment the sliding door shut behind them, Utahime tried not to wince, everyone's eyes flickering to them. Geto was already sitting at the table, sipping on a cup of tea. "You're on time. I'm genuinely shocked, but at least someone is obedient enough to appreciate a schedule."

Whereas Gojo simply responded with a cheeky grin, Utahime gritted her teeth and decided against responding. Maybe she should've allowed Gojo to make them late, after all. She had hoped Geto would– Well, not be impressed but at least be a little pleased that they were on time, but no, he'd taken the opportunity to make a dig at her instead.

"Step aside, Gojo – or are you going to hog Utahime to yourself?"

Utahime stiffened at the familiar voice and spun around, her heart shooting into her chest when she recognized the woman standing before her. "Mei Mei, I–" Tears welled up in Utahime's eyes before she could even realize what was going on, and she looked away from the others, using the back of her hand to get rid of them.

"You didn't cry when you saw me," Gojo said rather petulantly.

At least not at first. He'd had to threaten people's lives before she did that.

"That's because you're a terrible man and you probably acted out in order to get her to come with you," Mei Mei replied smoothly, stepping in between them and running her hand along Utahime's arm. "Now leave so I can catch up with an old friend before this boring meeting."

Gojo let go of her wrist and stepped back, although Utahime could sense his reluctance. She caught a glimpse of his face before he walked away, but then Mei Mei moved just enough to block him from her view.

Utahime cleared her throat. "It's been a while."

Mei Mei softly smiled at her. "It has been."

"You've done well though, I presume." Utahime gestured at her awkwardly with her free hand. She didn't know what else to say. Unlike Mai, whose status had been up in the air for so long after she'd run away bleeding to join the other side, Mei Mei had made her stance very clear. She had read the signs the day Gojo snapped and the moment Gojo's siding with Geto became obvious, she joined them.

Utahime could still remember trying to argue with her, although she'd known it was useless. Mei Mei was kind and warm, but she was a practical woman and could be calculating in the coldest of manners when it came down to the wire. For her, as soon as Gojo and Geto joined forces, the writing had been on the wall.

"Is this really just about money?" Utahime had demanded furiously. "Are human lives worth so little to you?"

"They make a convincing argument," Mei Mei had told her, "and they're of more use to me than non-sorcerers."

It didn't hurt any less now, two years later. Mei Mei did look well – more than well. Her dress was beautiful, and she looked better than ever. Gojo might not have liked it, but he'd stepped aside when she walked up to them, so he clearly respected her more than most people. Her curse technique must have been incredibly useful to them, so Utahime could only imagine how much she was being paid for her effort in their cause.

"I can't complain," Mei Mei said instead of directly answering her. It was fine. She was good about keeping her personal life from mixing up with her business. Unlike Gojo and perhaps even Geto, she could separate the two so that one didn't affect the other within her and she never felt conflicted. Utahime couldn't understand how anyone could compartmentalize so much. "I would've visited you sooner, but I was away on business. Gojo hasn't been smothering you with his affection too much, has he?"

Utahime folded her arms across her chest. "What do you think?"

"He's such a spoiled brat," Mei Mei said, tossing a playful look at him over her shoulder. Gojo stuck his tongue out in response, even with the room filled with people. "Don't let him take too much of you on his own time. Make him wait."

There wasn't even a suggestion of resisting him. Utahime's heart sank into the pit of her stomach, but she nodded anyway. Geto had said that she'd been involved in this game with Gojo for years, and while she might've tried her best to ignore it, perhaps their friends had been aware of it too. Mei Mei, Shoko, maybe even Nanami and the other sorcerers they'd worked with all those years ago.

Maybe she'd always been destined to be one of Gojo's playthings, too weak to be anything more, unlike the others.

"Oi, what are you doing here?" someone barked.

At first, Utahime thought the question was directed toward her, but then Mai, who had just walked into the room, smiled politely and responded, "We were invited."

Behind her, Yuta already held the side of his face with one hand, shielding himself from the accusing glares and looks of distaste. From his spot against the wall on the other side of the table, Gojo snickered, and Geto, sitting in front of him, sighed. Yes, Mai and Yuta's presence had definitely unsettled the others.

The only one that didn't seem bothered was Mei Mei, which made sense. She even gave Mai a warm look and said, "So good to see you've grown sharper."

"Good to see you've grown richer," Mai quipped.

"Come, sit down with me, and I'll catch you up," Mei Mei said, placing a hand on her arm and guiding the younger woman to the table. Mai grabbed hold of Yuta's sleeve and jerked on him to follow her, making him stumble a little since he hadn't been paying attention. "You too, Utahime."

She wasn't sure where to sit, and so she hesitated. She wanted to sit with them, but she knew damn well that Gojo wouldn't like that. Even though it pained her, a fact that she couldn't hide from her frustrated expression, she walked around the table to be on the same side as Gojo and Geto, across from Mei Mei and the others. She glanced at the chairs, thinking to sit down two spaces over from Geto. After all, Gojo would likely sit next to him, so–

"Here," Geto said, grabbing her wrist and giving it a tug. "You can sit beside me."

Utahime blushed, staggering slightly at the sudden pull, but then came down to awkwardly sit in the chair beside Geto. She glanced back at Gojo before she could stop herself, catching the unreadable expression on his face, and then let out a breath. Maybe she could try Mei Mei's tactic. Just because she was involved in their personal game did not mean it had to affect her all the time. That was their business, and their feelings weren't her problem.

Mei Mei propped her elbow on the table and leaned forward with her chin in her hand, tilting her head to the side. "I didn't know you were back, Yuta, but then again, you're always so quick about your work."

Yuta rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh, yeah, I've been here for a few weeks…"

"A few weeks?" Mei Mei raised her eyebrows. "Taking a vacation?"

"He's working with me," Utahime cut in quickly.

Mai leaned back in her chair. "Gojo has him on guard duty."

"It's not just that," Utahime insisted. "He's been helping me with a lot of things, not just guarding me from Gojo's groupies." And the other stronger members of their little cult, but she wasn't about to say that out loud while in their presence. Judging from the way Mei Mei's eyes slid around the room, she knew anyway. "He's good with the kids."

"Ah, yes," Mei Mei said, nodding. "Gojo said something about you teaching." She tilted her head in the other direction. "Have you considered turning it into a more...permanent position? They pay handsomely." Her eyes flickered up and down Utahime. "That might not matter much to you, of course."

Geto eyed her sideways, his smile openly amused. "He sure does know how to dress you."

Utahime flushed but determinedly ignored Geto and his comment. "We'll see."

"She's proving difficult to sway," Gojo said teasingly as he sat down on her other side. "But since when has winning over Utahime ever been easy, right?"

"If only your tactics weren't so immature and brutish," Mei Mei returned, an amused glimmer in her eyes. "Have you ever considered a more sophisticated take?"

Utahime scoffed. "I'm not sure he's capable."

"I can be persuasive when I want to be," Gojo countered easily. She was at least grateful that he no longer seemed annoyed even though they were teasing him. He was relaxed in his chair, leaning precariously on the back two legs, one hand behind his head. With him at ease, the others in the room relaxed as well.

And then she felt his hand on her thigh, and she nearly choked on her tongue.

Mei Mei brushed her large braid out of her eyes. "Is everything okay, Utahime?"

"Yes, I'm–" Utahime forced herself to relax, even as Gojo's thumb dragged back and forth over her thigh. "I'm fine."

Fortunately for her, more people entered the room right after that, so she was blessedly given a break from the attention. She shot Gojo a glare out of the corners of her eyes, but he only smiled in return. What an ass. Still, she used the distraction to her advantage, going quiet and bowing her head slightly so that she didn't meet other people's eyes. If she did look up, it was when Mei Mei spoke to her, but mostly she was content to watch and listen.

And also try not to get distracted by the way Gojo's hand didn't leave her. He squeezed her leg whenever he seemed to think she forgot.

Like everything else with this place and group, Utahime hadn't been sure what to expect when Geto and Gojo had "invited" her to dinner. (She wasn't going to bother pretending that she'd had a choice in attending.) It did have a strange sort of family feel to it, people greeting each other warmly, multiple conversations flowing effortlessly around the room, while there was also a slight divide as well. It was obvious that not everyone liked each other, but they remained civil and put aside those differences here.

After all, they were home.

Most everyone came up to formally greet Geto and Gojo. Utahime found it interesting that Geto was warmer and closer with them. It even felt genuine, the smile on his face easy and his body relaxed. Gojo wasn't exactly cold, but he wasn't as open either. Most of the sorcerers she recognized as commanders from her side's intel tended to defer to Geto or at least look to him, sometimes even casting sideways glances in Gojo's direction that he didn't seem to care about.

They determinedly did not acknowledge her, and she was fine with that as well.

As if sensing her wariness, Mei Mei leaned forward and said, "No need to be so tense. Even if most of the people in the room want you dead, they'll never cross the line here."

Utahime let out a beleaguered breath. "Right, of course."

She glanced to Mei Mei's left where Yuta and Mai were having a quiet but seemingly tense discussion. Their heads were close together, Yuta's lips turned downward as Mai said something to him. They didn't even stop when the food was brought in by (non-sorcerer) servants, only growing a little more tense until Mai took a breath and then flicked Yuta in the temple, making him flinch back.

"Eat," Mai told him in a low voice as she picked up her chopsticks.

Yuta sighed and did the same, keeping his eyes trained on his food as Mai turned to speak with Mei Mei, a much more passive expression on her face. Utahime watched Yuta for a moment, the way he slowly picked at his food. It wasn't the first time she'd seen Mai scold him about eating, but whatever she'd said to him seemed to have had an effect. He wasn't nearly as tense as he'd been before.

"Interesting relationship they have," Gojo murmured in her ear. "Don't you think?"

Utahime pulled away slightly and turned to look at him. "That's their business."

"Yeah, but you worry about them," Gojo pointed out. "They're your students, right?" He leaned back in his seat, his hand still resting comfortably on her thigh. It had never left. "And they've admittedly been through a lot, more than most of the others here. Mai is the weakest one here, but you wouldn't know from the way others speak to her. Meanwhile, aside from us, Yuta is the strongest, but he's often belittled. It's strange."

A troubled look fell over Utahime's face. "It doesn't...feel right. Yuta does so much for you two, but it's almost like he's hated."

Gojo shrugged. "It's jealousy and probably fear, as well. They know if Yuta wanted to take their place, he could in a heartbeat."

"But he doesn't."

"No, he doesn't," Gojo sighed, sounding almost apathetic. "Kind of a shame, I think, but Geto prefers him this way. It's easier to keep him tamed."

Before Utahime could quietly protest, Geto leaned forward, an elbow on the table, startling her and making her press her back against the chair. "He does better with direction." There was a faint smile on his face, suggesting that he wasn't insulted by Gojo's implicating words, but she didn't miss the hard look in his dark eyes. "Perhaps you'll be able to help him grow on his own, and he can take his proper place at the table instead of the corner."

Utahime wasn't sure what to say, so she returned to the bowl of food in front of her. She wasn't hungry, especially with Geto making her so nervous, but she had to eat something. The last thing she wanted was for someone to accuse her of being ungrateful or wasteful. She could already sense the snide comments coming her way. At the least, they would no doubt talk about her behind her back, which she honestly didn't care about. Not being very strong herself, she was used to the pettiness that came with power.

As if sensing her lack of desire to eat, Geto asked, "Do you not like it?"

"No, it's good," Utahime reassured him quickly. She fought back the urge to wince over the tone of her own voice – high-pitched, too sweet. It was the tone a person used when they wanted to please someone or, at the very least, not displease them. It annoyed her. She hated how she felt like she had to placate Geto, and judging from the way Gojo's grip on her thigh tightened, he didn't like it either.

That was annoying as well. It was hard to please one difficult man, much less two, especially when they seemed to contradict each other just as much as they complemented each other.

Besides, she didn't want to please them. She didn't think they would hurt her, but she was no longer certain of what they would do if she angered them. If there was one thing she did know about them, it was that they could be particularly cruel when they wanted to be.

"Don't mind him," Gojo huffed as he idly picked up a piece of food. "He's just trying to put on a nice face for the others. He likes being liked, even if he doesn't like them. This is his family though, so he wants to make an impression."

"Perhaps, unlike you, I'm concerned with our guests' comforts," Geto shot back.

Gojo swallowed a mouthful of food and grinned. "Yeah, because intimidating someone is very comforting."

Geto shook his head. "As if you have room to talk."

Utahime closed her eyes and counted to five. It was like she was stuck between two children fighting over a toy. And they were the most feared curse users in the world. She almost wanted to laugh – or maybe slap them upside the head.

"Here, Utahime," Geto said. She opened her eyes to look at him, finding him holding a piece of food for her. "Try this."

She reacted more out of instinct than anything else, opening her mouth so she could taste the food Geto was offering her. She didn't want to turn him down and insult him in front of his top commanders, potentially embarrassing him. Still, she blushed as Geto held a hand just under her chin while gently placing the food on her tongue, his expression rather soft as he watched her take it willingly.

Damn him. Damn him to Hell. She must've looked like such a pliant fool to everyone else in the room, and she hated it.

"What do you think?" Geto asked, his focus entirely on her.

Utahime swallowed and averted her gaze. "It's very good."

"Do you want more?"

"No, I'm– You can have it."

Her heart was thundering in her chest, mostly from humiliation. She knew damn well that he'd done it on purpose to unsettle her, and it had worked. If she looked up, she'd no doubt catch a mixture of looks being thrown her way – amusement, disgust, annoyance, mocking. Geto had made her look like an obedient, little dog.

"Remind me again," someone at the table joked. "Is Iori Gojo's pet or Geto's?"

Even though Gojo had warned her, she'd still fallen into one of Geto's stupid traps.

Utahime gritted her teeth and determinedly kept her head turned, even when she heard Geto laugh. She could sense Gojo's irritation, which made her feel as if she'd messed up, and her heart flipped when she glanced up at him and realized he was looking over her head at Geto. However, it was a snapping sound from across the table that finally pulled Utahime out of her humiliation, and she looked up to see a flummoxed Yuta, who was holding onto a single broken chopstick.

"Ah, I didn't–" Yuta shook his head at himself and then leaned over to pick up the other half of his broken chopstick and the other one to match it. Bent over, he jerked in his seat, banging his head on the table, and then sat up abruptly. His face was red as he rubbed the back of his head with one hand and held the broken chopsticks in the other. A servant teetered nervously behind him, knees already bent as if they'd been on their way to pick up the broken pieces. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Here, um, you can take this, I guess. I'm finished eating anyway. Uh, right."

After awkwardly dropping the broken chopsticks in the servant's hands, Yuta picked up his bowl and gave it to them as well. The servant looked a little confused, but Yuta was too distracted to notice, his eyes darting around the room as he struggled to concentrate on something, as if he was embarrassed.

"What are you doing, Okkotsu?" a young blonde-haired woman scoffed. "Are you actually being kind to those monkeys? After you've killed so many?"

Yuta's eyes darted from the woman to Utahime, and then he looked back down at the table, his cheeks still flushed. He opened his mouth briefly, but then he closed it again, pressing his lips together. She didn't think he'd even known what to say. Mai continued eating, but she was watching him closely. His curse energy hadn't flared up like it normally did when he was confronted, but his discomfort was obvious.

It wasn't fear or nervousness though. It felt more like...confusion.

"I don't…" Yuta chewed on his lip. "I don't see the point in being needlessly mean."

"Needlessly mean?" the woman questioned. "It's their role to serve us."

Yuta raised his eyes to meet hers, his expression a little firmer. "And it's our role to be cruel to them because of that, Suda?"

"Cruel?" The woman, Suda, twisted her lips into a sneer.

"Maybe he's getting soft from not being in the field for so long," the man beside her said. It was the man that Yuta had confronted in the hallway after the tea incident, Negi from what Utahime remembered. He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest as he watched the conversation play out. Meanwhile, neither Geto nor Gojo seemed to care, Gojo talking to the person sitting on his left while Geto continued to eat. "I heard he's just been playing with kids."

Suda clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Perhaps he needs a reminder of what these pitiful creatures are then."

Without looking away from Yuta, Suda picked up her own chopsticks, held them out away from the table, and then released them to fall onto the floor. They'd barely finished clattering before another non-sorcerer rushed to pick them up and then provide Suda with a new pair, which she promptly dropped again. The servant picked those up as well and then another showed up to provide her with a third pair.

"See," Suda said. "That's what they're good for. That's what they do. Monkeys are nothing but–"

"Thank you!" Utahime cut in loudly, her gaze focused on the two non-sorcerer servants that had cleaned up after Suda. They both stiffened against the wall, clearly confused about why she was thanking them, but Utahime didn't hesitate, not even when everyone's eyes landed on her sharply. "Thank you for your help. I appreciate it."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Utahime connected eyes with Suda, undeterred by the ugly look on her otherwise beautiful face, challenging her outright. If her suspicions were correct, then this woman was responsible for a lot of crimes against non-sorcerers. Utahime had crossed paths with other curse users under Geto and Gojo's command, but there were a few that she was considered too weak to fight against. Yuki and Nanami might've known her.

But they weren't here. It was Utahime, and she didn't care how weak she was. That kind of arrogant behavior disgusted her.

"Are you really wasting your time with someone as pathetic as her, Gojo?" Suda finally asked, her sharp eyes still locked on Utahime.

Gojo took a sip of his drink. "Why do you care?"

"You could've taken someone stronger – should've taken someone stronger," Suda pointed out. "What does she have to offer anyway? Iori Utahime – too weak to be a sorcerer worth a damn, so she's just a little teacher that the higher-ups can boss around to fill out their canon fodder." She propped her elbow on the table and leaned forward, placing her chin in her palm. "Tell me, Iori, how does it feel to watch your students either fail, die, or turn?"

Utahime had to bite her tongue to keep from snapping. Maybe she was too weak, but this woman didn't know shit about her students. She could just picture Nobara's reaction now: a feral smile tugging at her lips as her grip tightened around a glass before launching herself over the table to snatch Suda's hair and smash her head into the table. Maki wouldn't even consider her, choosing to give her a simple knowing look before continuing to eat. Megumi would roll his eyes in distaste and mutter something snide under his breath.

So high in their castle, so full of themselves, believing they were superior to others – they had no fucking clue what others were capable of, especially when they'd been pushed into a corner time and time again.

Taking in a breath, Utahime resumed eating and asked, "How does it feel to be jealous of a woman with half your curse energy? I didn't realize you were one of their little fangirls too. Did I oust you from Gojo's bed?"

Things turned ugly fast, both Suda and Negi jumping to their feet and Suda yelling, "You conniving, little bitch!" A few others got to their feet as well, trying to calm them down. Mei Mei smiled and shook her head while Mai giggled behind her hand and someone actually howled with laughter.

However, when Suda pointed at Utahime, her curse energy flaring, Yuta stood up as well. The energy radiating from him overwhelmed everyone else's, practically smothering them, dark and powerful, to the point where a handful of people held a hand over their mouth and nose. Even the non-sorcerers in the room grew silent and stiff, their faces paling.

"Sit down," Yuta said coldly.

Negi sneered at him. "Or what?"

"I'd do as he says," Mai said, looking up at him calmly, "before Rika makes you."

"You don't even belong here, so I don't know why you see fit to speak," Negi snapped.

Although it hadn't seemed possible, the curse energy field surrounding Yuta grew even stronger. "Don't talk to her like that."

Mai held out a hand. "You're only here because you're useful, Negi. I'll freely admit that everyone here is stronger than me – even Utahime – but don't think for a moment that your time isn't borrowed. Everyone's use either runs its course or" – her eyes swept to Utahime and then Yuta – "someone more useful, stronger, or simply better comes along."

"What is that supposed to mean, brat?" Suda demanded.

"It means that Yuta is three times the sorcerer than half of you combined, and you're all lucky he's such a nice, loyal boy or he would've replaced you a while ago," Mai replied, her tone growing colder with every word. She let out a quiet laugh. "And you could only hope to get into Gojo's bed, Suda, or did you give up on trying to worm your way into Geto's, hm?"

Suda seethed. "You're such a pitiful, vindictive, little shit."

"What can I say?" Mai smiled. "It's in my blood."

Pressing her hands flat on the table, Suda leaned forward and said, "When Geto and Gojo stop being entertained by you, we can just throw you back to your family. Maybe they'll find some use for you since you've nothing to contribute here."

"Take that back!" Yuta demanded.

Utahime startled in her seat, especially when she realized that Yuta had grabbed a knife. She hadn't even seen him pick it up, but then again, she'd been too focused on Mai. Looking back to Gojo, she tried to urge him to do something, but he only tapped her leg with his fingers and shrugged, looking more amused than anything else. At least Geto looked tired of the bickering, but he didn't seem too keen to stop it himself.

Better to hash things out here than in the field, as they said.

But Utahime was fairly certain that this hashing out might actually progress to a full-blown fight and maybe even murder.

"Why don't we just sit down and finish our meal?" an unknown curse user told Suda. "We've still got business to discuss."

Suda gestured violently at Utahime. "As if we're going to discuss anything serious with the enemy in the room. She's that before she's Gojo's new plaything."

"Stop talking about Utahime like that," Yuta snapped furiously.

"And as if you have any room to talk," Suda shot back. "All you're good at is taking orders."

While Yuta gritted his teeth, his anger nearly potent, Negi scoffed. "Who exactly are you loyal to again? Because it's starting to feel like you're no longer devoted to the cause. You're too busy pandering after a pair of weak whores–"

Everything snapped, and the room erupted into an argument. Mai had to jump to her feet in order to press her hands against Yuta's chest and hold him back, and Utahime was certain that the only reason he hadn't attacked was he was still aware enough not to hurt her. A few curse users on Suda and Negi's side stood as well, shouting back, everyone's voices blending in and becoming unintelligible. Mei Mei slammed down her glass of wine, almost spilling the red liquid, a tired and aggravated look on her face. Even Gojo tensed up, but she could tell he was holding himself back and letting things play out.

It was too much. With so much cursed energy in the room, things were boiling over too quickly. Glasses and silverware rattled on the table. The lights flickered. It was even becoming harder to breathe. The non-sorcerers in the room flattened themselves against the walls, struggling to make sense of the curse energy even they could feel.

Finally, Geto appeared to have had enough, pushing himself away from the table and moving to stand up, but Utahime couldn't stand it any longer. She didn't care what the others thought about her, and she knew Mai didn't give a shit either. They'd both suffered worse from people that were supposed to help them. But a line had been crossed, and she could sense Yuta's loss of control, something that had only been brought up vaguely a few times.

Dropping everything, Utahime got to her feet and rang out, " Stop !" activating her technique so that a wave of her own cursed energy spread across the room. Even a simple word could be a part of a song, depending on how she said it, and she used an octave so high that a glass of water exploded over the table.

It hit everyone, including Yuta, shocking them out of the escalating fight. Even Suda and Negi went silent, shock written on their faces. Her curse technique was probably one of the weakest here by far, and its effect depended on what she used it against. People, as it turned out, even other jujutsu sorcerers, were more susceptible to it than curses, perhaps because people were more easily influenced. The effect only lasted a second or two, but it was just enough to slice through the tension and break up the spiraling momentum.

"Since you're so uncomfortable with my presence here tonight, I'll leave," Utahime said in the following silence. She threw down a napkin and shoved the chair away from the table. "It's not like I wanted to be here, so my apologies for offending you. I hadn't realized the commanders of this fearsome army held such fragile egos that my weak status would upset you so much."

Without another word or even sparing a look in either Gojo's or Geto's directions, Utahime stormed out of the room, her heart thundering in her chest. She wasn't sure what this dinner had accomplished, but maybe they'd needed to throw her in front of the other commanders in order for them to get over their own feelings. She didn't know and she didn't care, too angry with both men for being such children.

So caught up in her own fury, it took Utahime a few minutes before she realized that she didn't even know where she was walking, and only when she stopped to assess where she was did she realize that she wasn't alone.

Turning around, she expected to find Gojo, but she wasn't too surprised to find Yuta instead. Her heart sank in her chest when she saw how exhausted he looked, his eyes trained on the ground. The last time she'd seen him look this bad had been the first day they met.

Laying a hesitant hand on his shoulder, Utahime waited for him to speak. She watched him breathe quietly, his body barely moving, until he finally said, "I couldn't be in there any longer. I didn't– They're not wrong. I don't belong there."

"Why not?" Utahime asked.

"I don't know," Yuta admitted, shrugging weakly. "Everyone talks about how strong I am, but maybe I'm too weak. I can't–" He furrowed his brow, a troubled expression on his face. "It's easy to follow orders. I don't have to think about how I don't like them because I'm doing what I'm told and– Geto and Gojo know better than me, so I trust them. It's easy to protect people too, and I...I like that. It feels right." He swallowed. "Things are...confusing."

"You're thinking more for yourself," Utahime said carefully, "and things aren't lining up."

Yuta put a hand to the side of his head. "I'm sorry for losing control like that. I just– You've been very nice, very kind, more so than anyone else here. You're... good . And Mai…"

Utahime searched his face, but it was hard to say what he was thinking, especially when he seemed so confused himself. "Mai is important to you."

"She saved my life," Yuta said in such a matter-of-fact tone that Utahime blinked. He brought his eyes up to hers, looking more fervent than before. "She's not weak like everyone says – and neither are you. I don't care what the others say. Gojo knows that too. It's why he didn't argue with them, and I should've– I should've trusted you to handle it."

Letting out a breath, Utahime sighed, "Well, I did in the end, although I'm not too sure how well I did. They probably hate me even more after I used my curse technique on them." She gestured vaguely and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I'm not trying to get in their way."

"I don't think it matters," Yuta said. "It's obvious that Gojo genuinely likes you."

"It's almost a curse," Utahime grumbled under her breath.

A distant but thoughtful look crossed Yuta's face. "It...kind of is, isn't it? Being liked by him."

"We'll survive," Utahime told him. "Now, after that whole mess, I was thinking… Tea?"

Yuta's shoulders sank with relief. "Please."

"Good, because I need something to take off the edge, and I don't know where they keep the alcohol here," Utahime sighed. Not that drinking to cope was a proper defense mechanism, but she hadn't felt this frazzled since Gojo had first brought her here. A beer or two would really help her just calm down and drift off tonight. "Plus, I'll be lucky if I'm left alone tonight. Gojo's going to be in an annoying ass mood."

"Yeah, he is," Yuta admitted sheepishly, "I'm sorry." He gave her a weak smile. "Maybe he'll be too busy by the meeting and Geto will keep him back?"

One could only hope, but she found herself annoyed by that prospect too.

It was so nice that everybody in this damn place knew everything whereas she felt like she was balancing precariously on one foot in a wire attached to two high rises. One wrong move, and she'd plummet to her doom, but she couldn't make a move either. On one side was her side – a side she knew was wrong on some level and couldn't fix – and on the other was Gojo and Geto – a side she knew had some good in it but was stained with too much blood.

All she could do was stand her ground, but the wind grew stronger every day, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could carry on this balancing act.

Notes:

Fun fact: the reason Yuta bumped his head on the table was because he saw Gojo's hand on Utahime's thigh, and he got all embarrassed. lmfao Poor baby. Also, if it seems like Gojo wasn't doing anything, that was for a reason. If he just protects Utahime all the time, she'll never be able to gain anyone's respect or be seen as more than his toy. Granted, I don't think anyone expected her to end things the way she did.

You know it's serious when Mai stops Yuta from stabbing someone. XD

Chapter 13

Notes:

If you look closely, you can see some subplots moving around in this chapter. LMFAO Okay, so, I'm sorry, Gojo, but I really enjoyed writing this chapter, NGL. HAHAHA And it wasn't just because of Yuta. Whoops.

Chapter Text

Things had changed since the dinner. Although Utahime wasn't told what had been discussed after her abrupt departure, she knew something had happened. Whatever it was, a faint energy buzzed through the compound. The sorcerers labeled as commanders moved with more urgency, the non-sorcerer servants worked faster in an attempt to stay out of their way, and even those below in rank seemed to strengthen their purpose and belief.

It was like the river was rushing, and all Utahime could do was hold onto her canoe and do her best to stay in the slow channels, lest she wanted someone to bump into her and tip her over. She was struggling to stay afloat here as it was; she didn't need others dragging her down with their own weird beliefs.

For the most part, Utahime stuck to herself and her routine. During the day, she worked with Hifumi and Jiro, switching between working with their techniques and curses and a regular lesson plan. After all, there wasn't much sense in them learning how to use their abilities but not how to read and write. They didn't much enjoy those lessons, restless and eager to escape out into the open, but they were equally important, especially getting them used to sitting in a room and doing work.

At night, she usually walked the grounds, going further out each time in order to get herself more acquainted with the area. She'd done the same when she arrived at Jujutsu High for school and later when she first began to teach at Kyoto Tech. Back then, it had been to make herself feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar area. Here, in Gojo and Geto's stronghold, it was more for tactical support. If she needed to escape or something else, she'd need to know the layout like the back of her hand.

However, four days after the dinner had passed, Utahime could not ignore Yuta. He'd grown more jittery and nervous, his curse energy more prone to flaring over little things. While Hifumi and Jiro practiced some basic math in their makeshift classroom, she watched Yuta shift on his feet in the corner of the room. He checked his phone every minute, twisting his lips, and then stared out the window, his gaze distant, his mind clearly elsewhere.

With the children distracted, Utahime made her way toward him, waving her hand in front of his face to get his attention instead of touching his arm. Yuta jumped, startled, and she felt a pop of dark curse energy from him before he smothered it and gave her a sheepish look. He knew what he'd done and, even more embarrassing, he knew that she'd caught the slip as well.

"Are you okay?" Utahime asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Yuta insisted. "I'm just–" He glanced down at his phone in his hand again and let out a sigh. "I'm just waiting for Mai to respond."

Utahime furrowed her brow. "Is everything okay between you two?"

"I think so, maybe, I don't know." His shoulders sank. "We, um, might've gotten into an argument." He shoved his phone into his pocket in an attempt to put it out of his mind, but judging from the twitch of his hand, it wasn't working well. "It'll be fine. Mai holds grudges, but she usually needs a few days before she's willing to talk. I guess I'm just...not used to being around when she's mad at me."

"What did you two argue about?" Utahime asked. She'd only caught glimpses of Mai on the compound since the dinner, the young girl darting away whenever they made eye contact. She'd waved the last time, but it wasn't enough. She had stayed, after all, while Utahime and Yuta left. "Was it about the dinner – the way you treated the non-sorcerer or the fight?"

Yuta shook his head. "No, she didn't care about that. Mai isn't cruel, and insults don't bother her either. She's dealt with worse, you know?"

Yes, she had. It hadn't been too long ago when Mai had essentially been in that non-sorcerer's position – beaten down, mocked, used, pushed aside. The Zen'in clan had treated her little better than a servant. Without a heavenly restriction like Maki, she'd been considered even more worthless, her minimal amount of curse energy almost a joke.

Utahime had not forgotten the sting of her cheek when she'd been foolish enough to outright protest Mai's treatment. She was normally good about keeping her mouth shut and her head down with the higher-ups and anyone with power in the remaining two clans, but she had seen Mai on the floor and…

They had all dealt with a lot. Utahime couldn't blame Mai for switching sides.

"I don't want to pry, but is there any way I can help?" Utahime asked carefully. "Maybe if you told me what you two argued about…"

But Yuta shook his head again. "I can't. I–" His eyes flickered to hers and then down again. "I can't talk about it with you. I'm sorry."

Ah, then it must've had something to do with what was discussed at the dinner after they left. Maybe it involved some sort of plan – a plan of attack or politics, anything to do with their next move, hence why the energy had changed in the past few days. People were excited, even if they didn't know what they were excited about exactly. Something was happening – something that involved Mai and Yuta or was enough to put them at odds with each other. She struggled to imagine what it might be. It wasn't like Mai went on missions or was put on jobs. Yuta, on the other hand…

Utahime opened her mouth and then closed it again. He wouldn't tell her, even if she did press, either too loyal to Gojo or too afraid of Geto. She wouldn't put him in an uncomfortable situation like them where he felt torn.

After looking back to Hifumi and Jiro, who jerked their heads back to their homework to pretend like they weren't trying to eavesdrop, Utahime turned back to Yuta. "Why don't you go speak with her in person? It might be better that way, so nothing is taken out of context."

Yuta looked up at her quickly. "No, it's fine. I can wait. Mai might be busy anyway, so–"

She laid a hand on his arm, stopping him mid-sentence. "Go talk to her." When he hesitated, Utahime gestured to the kids and added, "We're just doing simple work today. It'll be really boring. You can step away for lunch. She might be relieved to see how concerned you are."

After taking a moment to think it over, Yuta nodded. "Thank you."

Utahime gave him a smile. "Of course."

Before he swept out of the room, Yuta paused to stand between Hifumi's and Jiro's desks, placing palms on their heads to catch their attention. "Listen to Miss Iori and be good for her, okay? Rika will tell me if you aren't."

While Utahime rolled her eyes – was such a threat necessary or even true? – both the kids nodded dutifully and went back to work. They seemed more excited by the prospect of being looked over by a special grade curse than afraid of it telling on them. Yuta gave her one last look and then ducked out of the room into the main classroom and then the hallway. She checked over the kids, making sure they were actually working, and then returned to her seat.

People sometimes forgot that teaching could be droll too. Hifumi and Jiro surely hadn't been thrilled over the idea of doing such boring work, but it was necessary. A powerful technique meant nothing if there was no mental strength to back it up. Gojo was proof of that. He had to be three times as smart as other people in order to use his technique.

Jiro set his pencil down and frowned. "Miss Iori…"

That was all Utahime needed to hear in order to know he needed help, so she got to her feet and then went over to check on his work. It distracted Hifumi, who leaned over to watch what they were doing, but that was fine. Even if he was shy about it, Jiro was more likely to ask for help than her, so she might've been waiting for him to say something first. Utahime worked with him through the problem and then the next one until he seemed comfortable.

"I can do that," Hifumi stated proudly as she straightened her shoulders.

"That's good," Utahime said evenly. "Maybe you can help your brother next time. I'm sure he would appreciate that."

Hifumi chewed on the inside of her cheek, glancing from Utahime to Jiro, and then went back to her work. She was likely trying to decide if Utahime was mocking her, which she wasn't. Math wasn't the only thing she was trying to teach them. Simple things like compassion were much harder to instill, especially in someone that never received it.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," a voice called from the door.

Utahime stood upright and spun around quickly, her heart shooting into her throat. "Geto."

The man in question held up his hands, a friendly smile on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I should've knocked, but I think I scared the teacher even more by showing up."

Without thinking, Utahime began to smooth out the front of her pants, only stopping herself when she realized what she was doing. "It's fine."

"I passed Yuta on the way here," Geto said, sounding conversational and light. Utahime knew better. When it came to Yuta, it seemed like Geto always had something to say. He was Gojo's boy, after all. "Isn't he supposed to stay with you at all times?"

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes – she couldn't do that in front of the kids – Utahime calmly replied, "I told him he could take lunch elsewhere. I'm fine without him for a few hours. His entire day shouldn't be dependent on my schedule."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that after the ruckus you caused at that dinner," Geto pointed out, although he sounded more amused than annoyed. He hadn't looked like he'd enjoyed it that night – that was more of Gojo's thing – but maybe time had softened out the edges. "Why don't I accompany you for lunch today?" He glanced at the two children, who were fully paying attention to him instead of their work. "That is, of course, if you're okay with me having lunch with you two and Miss Iori."

Hifumi and Jiro looked at each other first, eyes locked on each other. Their curses were hidden under their desks and chairs, wrapped around their legs. Utahime watched as the children both pet their curses, as if perhaps communicating through them. After coming to some sort of decision, Hifumi turned to Utahime, who gestured for her to speak, and then the young girl sat up, looked up at Geto, and stated, "That's okay. Are your curses gonna come out?"

Geto snorted, a playful look on his face. "If you'd like, I think I could allow one or two to come out – small ones, of course. We don't want to scare too many people."

Nudging her brother, Hifumi stuck out her tongue. "Babies."

Utahime let out a breath. Better than monkeys. She'd been worried that Hifumi would switch back to that with Geto around.

"Okay, with that settled, let's clean up. We can eat lunch outside."

Teaching Hifumi and Jiro the concept of cleaning up after themselves had been one of the bigger struggles. They didn't like it at all, preferring to leave their messes sprawled out all over the room. In their minds, they would be coming back to this place, so it didn't make sense to put everything away when they had to drag it back out again the next day. Granted, they'd also never really been taught to clean, having been trapped in a basement for so long. They weren't unused to living in their mess.

Still, perhaps because Geto was in the room, they didn't slack off as much and didn't complain at all. They weren't scared of him – at least Hifumi wasn't – but there was an obvious wariness in the air. They didn't know how to act around him. He'd saved them – taken them out of that hellhole of a house, rid them of the monsters they called parents, brought them to live here out in the open and light – but he was different from others. He wasn't like Yuta with Rika, and he wasn't like them with their curses.

Geto controlled curses and people, and she thought they might be able to sense that through the connection with their curses, young as they were.

While Utahime took Hifumi and Jiro to the kitchens, the rest of their class remained behind in their room. She could tell they were jealous, feeling little eyes on her back as they slipped through the room. Perhaps they could join them tomorrow. She'd help watch over all the kids so the teacher wasn't alone, and it would be a good way to start reintroducing Hifumi and Jiro into the class. They would need to start that eventually.

With the two kids walking ahead of them, poking each other and mumbling under their breaths so the adults behind them couldn't hear what they were saying, Utahime tried not to let her mind wander with Geto at her side. It was much different than when she walked through here with Gojo. Sorcerers were noticeably warmer with Geto, and whereas Gojo had ignored them for the most part, Geto spoke with them in a friendly tone. Their eyes flickered to Utahime questioningly, most likely wondering where Gojo was, but she just looked away.

The last thing she needed was more rumors swirling about her. Gojo was doing a good enough job at making people believe the most ridiculous shit.

"You look uncomfortable," Geto pointed out after waving off another sorcerer.

"I'm not," Utahime said, fighting the urge to hide her hands in her sleeves in front of her. She'd look so proper then, and something about that irritated her too – or maybe she was just moody because Geto's presence had thrown her off completely.

She hadn't even seen Gojo since the dinner. She didn't want to say she missed him or was upset, but… She had honestly thought he would've barged in on her by now. Where was he? Had she displeased him somehow?

Don't think like that, she scolded herself. She refused to be dependent on his whims or desires.

"Wondering where Satoru is?" Geto asked as if reading her mind.

"No," Utahime shot back, too quickly. She avoided the knowing look on his face and added in a terse tone, "If he's been gone this long, then perhaps it's better if I don't know what he's been up to."

"That's how you operated under the higher-ups as well, isn't it?" Geto pressed. "You weren't important enough to be told all the details, so ignorance was bliss. You couldn't accuse them of crossing a line if you didn't see it happen."

Utahime gave him a flat look. "Are you going to be this funny all through lunch?"

Instead of getting insulted at being called out, Geto laughed. "I wouldn't make for good company if I did that, now would I?" She couldn't tell if he was genuinely entertained by her response or not, but she supposed it didn't matter. The kids looked back at them, curious about his sudden laugh, but Hifumi didn't have the chance to ask, not when Utahime reached over them to push the kitchen doors open.

"Hi," Utahime greeted, slipping around the kids to get ahead of them. "We're here for–"

"Ma-Master Geto!" The kitchen staff member, an older woman that Utahime had been working with for the past few days, paled and immediately bowed, staying there. "I'm so-sorry! We didn't know you were joining Miss Iori for lunch. We-We don't have enough–"

"It's fine," Geto insisted pleasantly, holding up a hand as if to calm her down. The poor woman was trembling, and Utahime noticed the rest of the kitchen staff had frozen as well. She couldn't help but wonder how he normally treated them without her around watching. "I didn't inform Utahime of my desire to join them for lunch, so this was very unexpected."

Utahime picked up the bento boxes from the counter, handing one each to Hifumi and Jiro, then smiled reassuringly and said, "Geto can share with me." She looked at him, a passive look on her face. "Can't you?"

"As long as you don't mind," Geto returned sweetly.

She smiled back up at him and, in the same mockingly sweet tone, replied, "Of course not."

If she could strangle a man…

"Oh-okay, Miss Iori," the woman barely managed. She only glanced at Utahime once before averting her gaze and bowing again. Utahime sighed to herself. This kind of behavior was so frustrating and annoying. She hated seeing people debase themselves, especially to her when she was in Gojo's or Geto's presence. "I apologize for the inconvenience. I'll make sure to prepare more food for you dinner to make up for it – or a light meal in between, perhaps, after the end of your lessons."

"Thank you, I appreciate it, but I'll survive," Utahime insisted. "Sorry for disrupting your work."

Before anything else could be said, Utahime ushered the kids out of the kitchen, hoping Geto would follow them without saying anything else. Luckily, she didn't hear him speak, and he was at her side again soon enough. She normally felt the urge to slap Gojo upside the head for his ridiculous behavior, but she was beginning to see that Geto wasn't beyond it either. They really were two sides of the same coin.

"You didn't make your own meal?" Geto prompted.

Utahime twisted her lips into a frown. "No, you were right. The kitchen staff was uncomfortable with me cooking my own meals. It...puts them more at ease if I let them do it, as long as I set a schedule. We figured out a meal plan, so it all worked out."

"Glad to see you're understanding how things work here," Geto said, although she could hear the cutting undertone.

"Of course." Utahime hadn't liked the set-up – and definitely not the way things worked here – but if that was what made them feel better, she would do it. She'd heard them muttering in relief under their breath about it; they'd been worried they would be punished by Gojo if Utahime did work. It was annoying, but she'd deal with it. "It's more work getting Hifumi and Jiro to eat properly anyway."

It had been both funny and sad when Hifumi had stared at an edamame pod, only to fling it at her curse and declare it was disgusting without even tasting it because she'd never seen one before. Getting a child to eat a balanced meal was hard enough, but with these two, it was a near battlefield.

There was a spot in one of the gardens that Utahime really liked, so she chose for them to eat there. It was private enough where Hifumi and Jiro could play with their curses without anyone skittering away from them in fear but open enough so she didn't feel smothered by this place. They went further into the garden, sitting cross-legged in the grass in order to inspect their bento boxes, their curses nosing in curiously like puppies.

Utahime sat on the steps where she could watch them and see the entirety of the garden. Tilting her head to look up at Geto, who was examining the area like he'd never seen it before, she gave him a smile and asked, "Sitting on the ground isn't too beneath you, is it, oh gracious leader?"

"It's good to be humbled every now and then," Geto responded smoothly as he sat down beside her.

Utahime snorted. "I don't know if you're capable of that."

"You enjoy being insolent, don't you?"

"That's all I've got these days," Utahime said honestly, surprising herself. "I don't know if I'd have any pride left if I wasn't allowed these small indignities." When she caught Geto looking at her very carefully, she cleared her throat and turned back to the bento box in her lap. "If it's too much, feel free to punish me. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells as it is, so I figured I'll eventually cross the line and know where to stop."

"No, I wouldn't punish you for speaking your mind," Geto told her, almost sounding gentle as he gazed at her. "I'm pleased to see the higher-ups didn't smother that side of you. I know Satoru was worried about that the longer you were with them."

"I appreciate his concern," Utahime huffed dryly.

Geto reached out to tug at her bow, which she glared at him for until he pulled his hand away. "I don't think he had to worry. You're far too spirited for that. The dinner proved as such. You're more than capable of standing your ground and keeping true to yourself."

Utahime eyed him warily. "Is that a good thing?"

"I suppose we'll find out," Geto replied vaguely, which only made her frown further. Did he have to be so cryptic? She always felt like she was floundering in the dark searching for a light switch with him. "It was a good thing in this case, I think, even if your...beliefs counter ours. You made quite the impression."

Not sure how to respond to that, Utahime turned her attention to the food. Honestly, she wasn't that hungry now, so splitting the food wouldn't be that difficult. At least it wouldn't go to waste now. She wasn't sure what to make of Geto's proclamation that he'd desired to have lunch with her, but it had to mean something if he was the first to see her instead of Gojo.

Fiddling with the chopsticks, Utahime finally asked, "Where is Gojo?" She huffed. "Not that I want to know, but I expected him to bother me by now. I keep waiting for him to pop up when I round a corner, and it's not fun waiting for that obnoxious fright."

"He is obnoxious, isn't he?" Geto replied, very amused. "Well, I obviously can't tell you all the details, but he's been busy handling things with the other clans." At that, Utahime stiffened, nearly dropping the chopsticks in the process when her hand tensed up, but Geto held up a hand when she gave him a questioning look. "I can't tell you more than that, but I can tell you that he misses you dearly."

Utahime snatched up a piece of food in a sharp, stabbing move. "Can you please stop with that?"

"My apologies," Geto said, not sounding very apologetic at all. "It's too easy to tease you both about it." It didn't sound like he was teasing her, not like Gojo; it sounded more like he was mocking her, and he knew it. "He does miss you though. He's been antsy to see you again, but I've admittedly kept him busy so he doesn't get distracted. As much as he doesn't like politics, that's more of his world than mine."

"Are you keeping him away from me or me away from him?" Utahime asked.

Geto rolled his neck, his bones cracking in a way that nearly made her wince. "You should be grateful. He was a goddamn nuisance after that dinner. You would've hated him had I let him hound you like he wanted." Utahime bit her lip to stop herself from asking what exactly Gojo had wanted. She had an idea. "He was an annoying bastard – like he couldn't decide if he was angry, turned on, or all of the above."

Blowing out some air, Utahime said, "Thank you for saving me the trouble, I guess."

"Unless you wanted him all over you," Geto continued, his dark eyes roving over her in a way that would've made her blush if she wasn't so annoyed. "He was manic – out of his mind, desperate to have you. I don't think you could've stopped him from fucking you. It was all I could do to contain him."

So much for not blushing. Utahime's cheeks burned, and she awkwardly cleared her throat, "Well, I suppose I really should thank you for keeping him busy until he gets over it." Not that he would. He might calm down, but both Geto and Utahime knew exactly what Gojo wanted with her. "So you've kept him distracted so he won't sleep with me? How thoughtful of you. And you're here now to… What? Rub it in my face?"

"Maybe I just wanted some time with you alone," Geto quipped. "As I said, you made quite the impression – not just on our commanders."

After looking at him carefully from the corners of her eyes, Utahime gave a noncommittal hum and took a bite of gyoza. He was playing a game, yes, but for some reason, she couldn't help but get the feeling that he was being a little more genuine as well. It wasn't...intimidating to speak with him right now. Wary as she might still feel, she was also more at ease. That was one of Geto's tricks, of course, making people feel like they were centered before ripping the rug out from underneath their feet.

"Here," Utahime said, handing him the bento box and standing up. "I need to take care of something real quick."

Stepping through the garden, Utahime made her way to Hifumi and Jiro and their curses. Just as she'd suspected, they were trying to hide their vegetables in the grass so they could pretend to have eaten them. Their attempts to feed their unwanted food to their curses had so far proven unsuccessful, so they'd resorted to other means. After reprimanding them and making sure they at least took a few bites, she returned to sit next to Geto, who had eaten a few bites while watching her.

Geto returned the bento box to her. "You're good with them."

"Kids are kids no matter what," Utahime sighed. "I might have to teach them differently and even treat them more carefully, but it's good to be normal with them too."

"Would you like more?" Geto asked.

Utahime chewed on her tongue. "I'm...content with them for now."

"It really doesn't bother you that you're helping us?" Geto pressed.

"I'm not helping you," Utahime insisted. "I'm helping them."

"They'll grow up to serve our goal and purpose," Geto pointed out. "And you know how strong they are – how strong they'll become if taught and guided properly. For all you know, they could be a tipping point in this struggle for power."

"It's war, Geto," Utahime told him. "Don't sugarcoat what this is."

"And whose side are you on?"

Utahime picked up the chopsticks again. "Not yours."

And maybe not the other side either, but she didn't say that out loud. To be honest, Geto probably didn't even need for her to say it to know, hence his questioning. Gojo had wanted to prove to her that what they were doing was right – that she didn't need to be afraid of them – but so far, he'd only managed to confuse her. This whole thing was a mess. Neither side was fully right, and either way, people were hurt. It wasn't fair.

"No, you aren't," Geto said evenly. "You made that very clear the other night."

"I didn't anger you for my insolence?" Utahime asked.

"Honestly, I was impressed," Geto told her, catching her off guard. She nearly dropped food from being startled by his straightforward response. "Contrary to what you might believe, I do agree that being cruel just to be cruel is pointless. You saw me in the kitchen. Most would've expected me to punish that...non-sorcerer for her failure to appease me."

"She didn't do anything wrong," Utahime said, hating how whiney she sounded.

"You're right – she didn't – and so I didn't see the need to be cruel or punish her." Geto gave her a smile that made her want to frown further. He picked up a piece of fruit with his fingers and popped it into his mouth. "I know you don't think so, but I can be kind too."

"And you've decided to be kind to me?" Utahime retorted.

"I'd like to be," Geto said. "Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot." Utahime gave him an unimpressed look, and he laughed lightly. "Okay, I tried to antagonize and terrorize you. I'll admit that. Your presence irritated me. It unsettled things between me and Satoru, and I wasn't happy, not to mention I was concerned that you'd fill his head with your merciful ideas." He rested his hands behind him and leaned back. "Satoru isn't as cold as he thinks. He was hitting a wall and you never left his mind, so he started fixating on you and became distracted."

Utahime swallowed down a bite of food. "Sorry, I didn't mean to become the object of his obsession."

"He could never help himself with you when we were in school," Geto admitted. "Maybe I had hoped he would forget you, but the moment he admitted to me that he'd saved you at the last second, I knew you'd be a problem." He let out a sigh. "I thought about killing you off, having someone take you out, quick and quiet. Yuta was at the top of that list. He's amazing at all-out destruction, but he's the best for a clean kill."

Her blood chilled, her heart stammering weakly in her chest, but Utahime could almost appreciate this sort of honesty. There had been more than a few times when she'd nearly died indirectly thanks to them. After all, everyone knew she wasn't the strongest sorcerer – some even thought she'd only been promoted to semi-first grade for appearances' sake – so she hadn't been placed on dangerous missions often, only coming in when her students were involved and often ushered out by other stronger sorcerers that joined the fray after the fact.

How many times had Yuki or Nanami pushed her back with a simple, "We'll take care of this," and left her to watch as her students fought in her stead? It was almost funny: no one had ever considered her a threat, save for Geto apparently. The higher-ups had at least known enough to use her as bait for Gojo.

"But that's in the past," Geto said. "I wanted to come clean about my thoughts. As you said, you don't know where you stand here, which makes things difficult between us." He turned to look Utahime in the eyes, his gaze so earnest. "I don't want to be enemies, Utahime. We both have something in common, whether we like it or not. I'd like to think we could work together."

"Work together?" Utahime furrowed her brow. "As in containing Gojo?"

Geto grinned. "Yes, that – which is a difficult feat as it is – but also other things." He gestured to Hifumi and Jiro. "What you're doing here with them – I'd like to expand on this. There was a flaw in our system, and you found it and took care of it immediately as well." She nodded. That made sense. She could work with him on that. "Also… You know how most curses are created, yes?"

Utahime bit her tongue. "Sorcerers can create them as well, especially if they curse or are cursed by someone, but...most are created by non-sorcerers that can't control the flow of their minimal curse energy or emotions." She set the half-eaten bento box down between them. If she didn't eat all the food, the kids would point it out, but she needed a moment. "I spoke with Yuki about it."

"As did I," Geto replied. "It's small, but...I've noticed a difference since your arrival. Curses can be created even here. It works to my advantage most of the time, but there has been less curse activity amongst the non-sorcerers you work with."

For some reason, that startled Utahime almost more than hearing Geto say that he'd thought about having Yuta kill her once upon a time. "Really?"

"Being less cruel, perhaps even kind, has its advantages," Geto said. "Even to a lamb being led to the slaughter. It makes them far easier to deal with in the end."

Utahime scowled and folded her arms across her chest. "You just had to ruin it."

"I want to be honest with you," Geto pointed out.

"And that wasn't cruel?" Utahime demanded.

"It was, I suppose." Geto shrugged. "We will disagree on a lot of things, Utahime, but we can find a place to meet in the middle. That's for the best, I think – for Satoru, for us, and for what we're doing." He tilted his head. "You're doing good here. I can't forget that."

Still scowling, Utahime eyed him sideways and then unfolded her arms to hold out a hand, trying to believe she wasn't making a deal with a devil. "So a truce?"

Geto took her hand and pulled her in closer, smiling again. "I'd like for it to be more than that." His eyes roved over her face as if searching for something, but Utahime didn't make a move or change her careful expression. "We can be friends, can't we, Hime?"

"Don't push it," Utahime told him. When she pulled back to sit upright, Geto let go of her without a fight, the smile never leaving his face. She took a deep breath and picked up the bento box, first offering it to him and then taking another bite when he shook his head.

A truce. It would be tenuous at best. She still didn't know what Geto wanted with her, but she had a feeling that this meeting was in part to scold Gojo for his unruly behavior these past few days. He'd let Gojo see her tonight or tomorrow as a reward for working hard, but only after letting him know that he'd seen her first. It was always such a push and pull with them – a twisted relationship filled with punishment and reward. With ridiculous egos like theirs, it could only be like that.

"Miss Iori!" Hifumi shouted from their spot in the garden. "We're done eating! Can we play now before we go back inside? Math is so boring!"

"We're going to do writing after lunch," Utahime pointed out.

Hifumi groaned and rolled onto her back in the grass. "That's even worse!"

"I like writing," Jiro said just loud enough for Utahime to hear.

"You've got fifteen minutes," Utahime told them.

Popping back upright, Hifumi cheered and then jumped to her feet. She held out her arms, and her curse jumped into them, careful not to slice the soft skin of her arms open with its sharp claws. Her's and Jiro's bodies were usually littered with little red marks and bruises, signs of their curses, but they didn't care. It was impossible to avoid being hurt by them entirely, but they didn't see it as on purpose. Before, Utahime wouldn't have believed it, but after watching them and Yuta with Rika, she was starting to believe it too.

Curses were born from humans, after all, and as cruel as they could be, humans were capable of extreme depths of compassion too. If a curse was intelligent enough, then perhaps…

Hifumi rushed toward them, her eyes bright, even if her curse hung behind her. "Mister Geto, can one of your curses come out? A small one, like ya said. Kazuki wants to see 'em, but he's too shy to ask."

Geto peered around her little body to look at the curse hiding behind her legs. "Too shy, hm?" He scratched his chin. "What curse would you like to see? A bird? A dog? An octopus? They can take all sorts of shapes."

"You got a dragon?" Hifumi asked.

"I do," Geto said with a light laugh, "but that one is too big for the garden."

"A fish?" Jiro suggested nervously.

Geto nodded. "I can do that."

"How many curses you got?" Hifumi asked – well, demanded – as Geto outstretched his hand and called for a curse. It was a koi fish, just as colorful as one too, though larger than most. Utahime watched as it swam through the air as if in water, elegant and controlled. It wasn't a strong curse at all, so Geto could likely manage it with ease.

"Less than a million, but more than a few," Geto replied, giving a wink.

He was good with them, Utahime realized. He would've been a great teacher, but he'd chosen to become a cult leader and curse user instead.

Hifumi giggled, then ran back to her brother with her curse in tow, tackling her twin and making him yelp as they rolled in the grass. The koi fish curse floated above them, dipping down just inches away from their heads. Their curses made strange sounds that would've made Utahime's heart race weeks ago. By now, she was used to it. Sometimes, they even sounded like words, getting closer to sounding familiar every day.

It wasn't just Hifumi and Jiro that would get stronger with proper guidance. Their curses would become powerful and dangerous as well. Utahime kept her mouth shut and her concerns in her mind, silently watching them play alongside Geto. This was probably about as peaceful as things would get between them. It was perhaps a false peace and one that she shouldn't allow herself to trust, but for a few minutes, she let herself breathe.

It was a mistake, she knew, but not even she could keep her defenses up all the time. Both Gojo and Geto were wearing her down.

Chapter 14

Notes:

This chapter is so long because Gojo would NOT SHUT UP. Ugh. What an annoying bastard. Also, hey, look like that high rating is finally going to come in handy. Ayyyyyye

Chapter Text

Being around Geto was kind of like playing a game of chess in which the rules kept changing. Every time she got used to it and thought she might have a chance, he switched things up and sent her floundering in order to stay on the board. It wasn't exactly fun, but once she got used to the changes, she was starting to get a handle on it.

At least, that was what she told herself at the end of the day.

Yuta hadn't returned after leaving to find Mai during lunch. It worried her, but Geto reassured her that things were fine. Utahime didn't even try pressing him for an explanation, although she was positive he knew what was going on between them. She doubted there was nothing that went on in this compound that he didn't know. He'd probably give her a smile and casually remind her that he couldn't let her in on every secret here.

However, because Yuta didn't return, Geto decided to stick around. She couldn't imagine why he would when the rest of the lessons weren't that exciting. Hifumi had been upset that she couldn't show off her curse technique, begging to let them switch to something more practical, but Utahime insisted on sticking to a schedule. She didn't even blink or lose her temper when Hifumi threw a small fit, continuing to help Jiro with his writing.

In the end, it had been a decent if not weird day. Aside from the one tantrum, Hifumi and Jiro were well-behaved due to Geto's presence, their curses even more so. Eventually, Utahime had a feeling either they or the curses themselves would need to be taught how to more or less hide, like Rika, but she didn't know how to go about that. They wouldn't like it, but it would be necessary for both their and, well, the curses' safety.

She wanted to ask Yuta for help, if only because the idea of asking Geto and him getting even more involved made her squirm. He had essentially said that he wanted to be more involved in this process and expand upon it, so she'd have to work with him in the long run, but Utahime couldn't help but feel like he'd laid out a trap and was waiting for her to step in.

"I'll take them back to the dorms," Geto said as the kids gathered their things.

"Are you sure?" Utahime asked. "You must have more important things to do."

"They're important," Geto responded smoothly, "and I don't mind helping out. You've already done a lot."

Utahime eyed him carefully. "Right."

Just as they were about to leave the classroom, the door burst open to reveal a disheveled Yuta. His cheeks were pink and he was breathing heavily as if he'd run all the way here from wherever he'd come from. Catching sight of Geto, he immediately stiffened, but he couldn't hide his flustered demeanor, so he bowed respectfully to him and then looked at Utahime.

"I'm sorry," Yuta told her tensely. "I didn't realize how late it was. I didn't mean to leave you alone for that long."

"It's fine," Geto answered for her, his tone mild and patient. "She wasn't alone."

Yuta blinked at him, as if not quite understanding what he meant, and then nodded. "Um, thank you." He was clearly uncomfortable, but it felt more like it was because he'd been caught off guard once again instead of by Geto's appearance. "Ah, do you want me to take Hifumi and Jiro to the dorms or…?"

"I told Utahime I would take them," Geto said. "If you don't mind escorting her to her room… Things are still a tad bit tense with the other commanders."

"Of course."

Geto turned back to Utahime, still the friendly person he'd been for the better part of the afternoon. After those few unsettling comments, he hadn't made anymore, playing the part of the perfect companion, the model gentleman. It reminded her of back when he was in high school – when he would smile and be polite. Maybe in the beginning it had been real, but as they got older, she couldn't help but feel like something was off and would pull away from him before he could touch her for longer than a second or two, even if he was helping.

Right now, she wasn't sure if it was the same as back then or if he really was trying to be nice, at least for Gojo's sake or his own goals. It certainly wasn't for her benefit.

"I had a good time today. It was enlightening – and nice to get away from the others." Geto took her hand and kissed the top of it. The whole thing smelled like an act, but it had the right effect. Yuta looked away, embarrassed, and the kids glanced at each other with curious looks on their faces. They'd also seen her interact with Gojo, who had kissed her on the cheek. "I look forward to spending more time with you."

Utahime couldn't manage anything more than a tense nod and smile as he dropped her hand. Her own discomfort was obvious, but she tried her best to stifle it, more for the kids' sake than anyone else. His ego would be able to take the minor blow. She waved at Hifumi and Jiro, folding her hands in front of herself and wringing them when they followed Geto out of the classroom. He wouldn't do anything to him or their curses. They were important to him – important to his plans. He was good with children, kind to them, still caring.

She had to keep telling herself that.

Yuta stepped forward hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

Dropping her shoulders, Utahime let out a sigh. "I'm just tired of arrogant men believing they have a right to whatever they want. That's all there seems to be in jujutsu society, no matter which side you're on."

Giving her an almost embarrassed look, Yuta sheepishly admitted, "Gojo wants to see you. I ran into him earlier when I was trying to find Mai. I told him you were busy with lessons and you wouldn't want to be disturbed."

Utahime rolled her eyes. "He listened. I'm stunned. At least one of them did, I suppose." She shook her head dismissively and walked out of the classroom. "I can't imagine he'll be in much of a listening mood tonight."

Shrugging, as if that was to be expected, Yuta walked beside her down the hallway. "He misses you, and he doesn't like it when Geto forces him to deal with the more political side of things."

"It doesn't suit him," Utahime sighed. "He never really bothered with it before. He didn't have to, not with his strength and abilities."

Yuta scratched the back of his head. "It really doesn't. He's not as...diplomatic as Geto."

Utahime gave him a flat look. "Is that what they're calling manipulation these days?"

Seemingly despite himself, a smile flickered onto Yuta's face. After being here for so long, he had finally become accustomed to the way she spoke about Gojo and Geto, no longer becoming nervous whenever she insulted them. Perhaps it was because he had seen the way they reacted to her biting comments. Before, he'd been worried that they might punish her for such insolent behavior, but now that he knew they liked it…

God, did they like it? That was a humiliating thought in itself.

Thankfully, when they reached her room, it was empty. She had been worried that Gojo would already be haunting it, but perhaps he was still busy or had finally figured out that he needed to give her some amount of time to herself. It was strange. Although she wasn't exactly around a lot of people these days, she needed these quiet moments in this room alone. It still lacked a personal touch, feeling more transit than anything else, but it was hers, the only time she could let go of everything she was holding inside.

"I'll get something from the kitchens later," Utahime said as she entered her room.

Yuta had stopped in the doorway. "Do you need me to tell them or…?"

"No, I'll make Gojo get something or whatever," Utahime huffed. "He owes me."

Turning away from the room, Yuta took a step into the hallway, then hesitated again. Utahime eyed him curiously. She wanted to ask him about Mai, but she didn't think it was the right time. Later, maybe tomorrow or another day, if he didn't say anything or she didn't see Mai, she would bring it up. He needed time to himself and his own thoughts as well. All she could do was hope that things were better.

"I hope…" Yuta mumbled. "I hope he at least apologizes."

Utahime blinked in surprise. "For what?"

"The dinner," Yuta continued, lifting his gaze to hers. There was a serious look on his face, which strangely made him look younger. "The way he let Suda and the others speak to you – he shouldn't have allowed that. He should've said something at least."

"Maybe it's best he didn't," Utahime said softly, surprising Yuta in return. "Gojo's protection usually comes at a cost."

Yuta considered her words for a moment and then nodded, somewhat to himself. He would know, wouldn't he? Gojo had saved his life too, and look what he'd become. Something great, something powerful, something dangerous . He was more than that – Utahime knew it, and she had a feeling that Mai and even Gojo did too – but he was having a difficult time seeing it for himself. He gave her one last look and then left, closing the door behind him. He didn't lock it, not that it mattered.

It wasn't like she was going to try to escape.

For all she knew, Gojo wouldn't show up until later tonight – or maybe not at all. Perhaps Geto would pull him back, force him to wait a little longer. She could just picture Geto smiling and telling Gojo about the wonderful and relaxing day he'd spent with her. He'd make Gojo sit and listen as he recounted every small detail, every moment of giving that Utahime let him have, how they shared a meal together.

"You should see how good she is with the children," Geto would tell him, a little mocking just so Gojo would know he'd done everything on purpose. "Like a good, little mommy."

Utahime violently tugged on the end of her bow, undoing it and letting her hair fall down over her back. There was no sense in thinking like that, especially since she was likely exaggerating things in her mind and getting herself worked up for no reason. Maybe Geto wouldn't even tell Gojo. It wasn't like seeing her or spending time with her was a big deal – or maybe he'd enjoy keeping the day to himself, something he could maybe lord over Gojo later since he liked to hold back stuff from Geto.

Or maybe there was literally no point in wondering about any of this, and she was being some ridiculous, foolish woman.

Winding down from the day, Utahime tried to clear her mind as best as she could. It had been a strange one, to say the least. Geto had unsettled her, but if he really did want a truce of sorts, she could do that. She still hated everything he stood for and didn't agree with him, but it had to be better than constantly walking on eggshells around him. Gojo might not like the idea much. He could get jealous or irritable, but she didn't think he'd be mad at her. At least, he shouldn't be. If he was, she was liable to ignore him for a week.

She really hoped things were okay with Yuta and Mai. While she'd seen Mai tease him and Yuta frown at her, they'd always seemingly been on a similar page, if not the same line. They did have an interesting relationship, as Gojo had pointed out, and the few personal bits she'd managed to glean only made her more curious – and wary. Their brief comments echoed in her mind as she washed her face.

"We made a promise."

"She saved my life."

While it was obvious that Mai simply didn't want to talk about it, Yuta made it sound like there was nothing to talk about. Utahime tried to think about how Mai could've saved his life – if perhaps it was more metaphorical than literal, considering the way she had scolded him more than once to eat better – but she wasn't sure. Yuta was straightforward. He usually meant exactly what he said. A promise…

A promise for what?

There seemed to be a lot of that going on around here. A lot of promises were being made, but she wasn't sure they could all be held up. She'd made her own as well. It was a bed they would all have to lie in.

An impatient knock on the door pulled Utahime out of her thoughts. She stood upright, picking up a towel to pat her face dry, and turned to the door. Even with it closed, she knew who it was, the quick rapping giving him away. Sighing, she set the hand towel down and made her way over to the door, opening it for her expected visitor.

"I'm shocked," Utahime deadpanned as she looked up at Gojo. "I didn't think you knew how to knock."

Gojo gave her a lop-sided smile. "I can be respectful too." She wasn't so sure about that. His version of respect came off as a little mocking no matter who it was for, like he had some sort of inside joke with himself. "May I come in?"

Utahime planted her hands on her hips. "Do I have a choice?"

"You do," Gojo replied evenly.

After eyeing him for a moment, Utahime stepped aside and let him sweep into the room. She couldn't deny that he seemed a bit relieved, his shoulders dropping as he entered quickly as if she might abruptly change her mind and kick him out. Any other day, she might've entertained the idea, but… She couldn't deny that she wanted to see him. It had been days, and she hadn't even glanced back at him when she stormed out of dinner. She'd spent more than one night kicking herself over how much that bothered her after the fact.

Folding her arms across her chest, Utahime watched as Gojo milled about her room before turning around to face her a few feet away. "You've been busy."

Gojo shrugged. "I've gotta do some of the heavy lifting around here. It's not fun, of course, but apparently, my presence alone isn't enough. A shame, really."

"All work and no play makes Gojo a dull boy, huh?"

A smile flickered across his face, but she honestly couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. "You know me so well."

Resisting the urge to bit her lip, Utahime shifted on her feet. "I know you can't tell me what's going on – Yuta wouldn't tell me much – but it's still annoying and difficult to just be here in the dark all the time. It feels like everything is going on above my head and everyone knows but me. I must look–" She gestured vaguely, one arm still crossing her chest. "I feel like an idiot, blindly walking around in fake ignorance when I know something's not right."

"You're not," Gojo insisted, getting closer to her. She let him without stepping back. He laid one hand on her arm, the other on the side of her face. It was hard not to lean into it, just to feel grounded to something. "Of course there are things you don't know – operational matters we can't tell you because, well, you're not exactly on our side – but… I'll explain everything to you, in time."

Utahime frowned. "Will you? Before or after everything goes down? I don't know about anything going on outside of this place unless people tell me directly."

"During?" Gojo suggested, sounding like it was cracking a joke. She wasn't sure he was.

"Gojo…"

"I'll tell you everything," he said. "I swear."

She wanted him to tell her now, but Utahime was beginning to learn when she could pull information out of him. Gojo needed to take a little before he was willing to give. He wasn't in the mood to talk, but he could be later when he was more settled. He came off as careless, but she could sense the tension lying just underneath his skin in the way he touched her, how he looked her in the eyes without wavering.

He needed her. It was a strangely overwhelming feeling to realize.

The look on Gojo's face was akin to a puppy pleading, similar to the ones he'd give her when he was in school and wanted her attention. He'd been such an annoying brat back then. Not much had changed. "Can we not argue? I missed you."

Utahime looked away from him for a moment, pressing her lips into a petulant line, before she begrudgingly admitted, "I was wondering where you were. I expected you days ago."

"I wanted to see you, I did," Gojo told her, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. His warm breath washed over her, sweet like he'd been sucking on candy on his walk to her quarters. "I had business I needed to take care of, and Suguru thought I should be the one to organize and handle things." He wrinkled his nose. "I hate doing that shit."

"You're doing something with the clans," Utahime said. He pulled back, a faint look of surprise on his face, and she shrugged. "Yuta told me, but that was it."

Geto had told her, but she wasn't sure how much Gojo knew and she was wary about putting him in a sour or aggressive mood with mention of him. Yuta was the safer bet. She didn't think Gojo would get mad at him for disclosing that much, especially if he was aware of Yuta and Mai's argument.

"Yeah," Gojo said, perhaps deciding it wasn't worth it to question her. "It's annoying. I kind of thought I got away from all of that when I came here."

"You can't leave behind who you are," Utahime told him, reaching up to brush her fingers along his cheek. Her fingertips brushed against the edge of his blindfold, but she didn't move to tug it away. He must've come here straight after he was finished with whatever business he was taking care of instead of changing into something more casual. "Not entirely, at least."

"You're right," Gojo hummed. "I couldn't leave you behind."

"It almost felt like you did these past few days," Utahime couldn't help but say.

Gojo's lips tugged downward into a frown. "I wasn't ignoring you on purpose. I was busy! Apparently, being a cult leader has its pros and cons, and having to do work to manipulate people is such a con."

"You're a terrible excuse for a cult leader then," Utahime pointed out. "That's the whole point."

He groaned. "Then Suguru can do that."

"What do you do then?" Utahime asked.

"Simply existing and making an appearance usually does the trick," Gojo teased. "I can usually just lift a finger and difficult people get in line. I don't even have to use my curse technique most of the time. Violence perceived is violence achieved, after all."

"That's a twisted version of diplomacy," Utahime muttered dryly.

"It works," Gojo said, "and less people get hurt." He settled down somewhat, a contemplative energy coming over him and bringing her eyes back to his face. "I get it. Most people would assume that I'm the one comfortable with all-out destruction. I have the ability and the most potential for it with Limitless. I'm fine with people thinking of me that way."

I'm not, was what Utahime wanted to say, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

"Suguru can play the diplomat all he wants, but he wouldn't mind letting out a thousand curses to destroy an entire city if it got him what he wanted," Gojo told her, his tone oddly distant. "I don't want that. Maybe… Maybe I did in the beginning when I was really angry and willing to break anything, but not anymore. We have to do things differently."

Utahime looked over his face, trying to get a better read on him, but it was difficult. Although it was handled differently, Gojo hid a lot of his thoughts and emotions just as much as Geto, if not more so. He'd killed people without hesitating before – she'd witnessed it firsthand, had nearly been one of them herself – but sometimes it sounded like he was playing a different game than Geto, or he had different goals.

It was interesting, something that gave her pause. She spent months thinking of how cruel Gojo could be – how cold and brutal he'd been when she last saw him – but he'd had the mind and wherewithal to save her at the last second too. She'd wasted a lot of nights staring at her ceiling in the dark thinking about that.

"I thought you didn't want to argue," Utahime said softly.

"I didn't," Gojo huffed. "You always get me so riled up."

Utahime patted his cheek. "Mm, I think it's the opposite."

Letting his hand fall from her cheek, Gojo fingered a strand of her hair, pulling it over her shoulders. "You don't wear your hair down like this often anymore. It's pretty. You should do it more often – reminds me of when we were younger and you wore those cute, girly pigtails."

"They weren't pigtails," Utahime insisted with a faint scowl, proof that he was definitely the one that riled her up. "And you don't think I'm pretty when I wear my hair half up with the bow?"

"Oh, no, I definitely think you're pretty wearing the bows I got you," Gojo quipped. "And the clothes." His eyes roved over her so openly that she scoffed. It was like she was some sort of prized doll he could dress up however he wanted. "You're always beautiful, Utahime – have been since I first saw you." He gave her a grin. "I was so enamored with my strict senpai."

"You were such an annoying, little brat," Utahime told him, "like a gnat I couldn't swat away."

"And how about now?"

Utahime made a noncommittal sound. "Not much different."

"But you missed me," Gojo insisted, leaning in close again. "I bet you thought about me every day. Did you stay up each night waiting for me to come to see you? Wonder if I'd pop up during a lesson for an unexpected visit?"

"I expected you to try to distract me," Utahime admitted, giving him just a little.

"I wanted to today," Gojo said, "but Yuta suggested I wait – and I did. You aren't proud of me? I know how important these lessons are for you – how important the kids are." He looked down again, his attention on the strand of hair wrapped around his finger. "It was hard. I thought about you all week. I wanted to see you, but–"

But Geto kept him at bay. For her, he'd basically said, but it had been for himself as well.

Running her fingers through his hair soothingly, Utahime sighed, "But you're here now, and I appreciate you waiting and not distracting me."

She couldn't imagine what sort of disaster would've befallen them had Gojo shown up for today's lesson or lunch while Geto was with her. She'd witnessed them fight before, back when they could still say they were good people, but she didn't want to picture what a fight between them would be like now. It would've been awkward and uncomfortable at best.

"It wasn't fair," Gojo grumbled. "I had work to do, yes, but I could've still seen you."

"You don't always listen to him," Utahime pointed out carefully. "So what stopped you?"

Gojo actually hesitated. Perhaps he didn't really know himself – or maybe he didn't want to admit it to her. Geto was his true equal, his only equal, so he knew how to handle Gojo better than anyone else in the world, far better than her. She'd never been good at that, if she was being honest – it had always been more of a struggle than anything else – but Geto knew how to give with Gojo and he knew how to take as well to keep him balanced and from lashing out.

Keeping Gojo preoccupied was the best option – with work, with him, with whatever he could think of. Utahime would let Geto tell her that it had been for her sake so Gojo would calm down, but they both knew that wasn't entirely the truth. Gojo didn't calm down. He might act like it, but he carried everything with him, never letting go, even if the weight was too much.

"Maybe I was a little embarrassed," Gojo finally admitted.

Utahime snorted. "You? Embarrassed? I've never seen such a thing."

"I let Suda and the others speak to you so rudely," Gojo sighed. "I didn't like it, but Suguru pointed out that I couldn't just...keep being your shield. They would never respect you and it could even cause dissent if you didn't make a stand for yourself." He twisted his lips into a scowl. "But leaving you in the cold wasn't right either. I thought you might feel...humiliated or betrayed that I did nothing after promising to protect you."

Gojo's honesty caught Utahime off guard more than anything. She had to wonder if Yuta had something to him when they crossed paths earlier. It wasn't like Gojo to apologize, and it certainly wasn't like him to admit any sort of failure. He was capable of it, of course, like any human – not even he was infallible – but getting him to admit it was akin to pulling teeth. It wasn't pleasant for anyone, and he was usually frustrated and temperamental when he did.

"Were you hiding from me?" Utahime prompted.

Gojo lifted his head, so that she knew he was looking her in the eyes even with his blindfold on. "I wasn't thinking clearly after. I was infuriated, disgusted, and–" He let go of her arm so he could cup her face again, her hair falling over his fingertips. "And maybe you were a distraction as well. I was so proud of you."

Utahime blew out some air. "Proud. I got into a spat and then stormed out like a drama queen. It wasn't my finest moment."

"Mm, I don't know about that," Gojo hummed, a little grin tugging at his lips. "It was hot."

Ah, the serious moment was over. Utahime counted herself lucky to have been afforded that much. Maybe this was him trying to give her more. After all, he'd done almost all the taking recently, so he was trying to prove that he was better than that. It might've had something to do with the way Geto treated her at the dinner, so gently and sweet, and Mei Mei's comments as well. He couldn't just dominate her to get whatever he wanted.

No, Gojo's ego was a little different. As possessive as he could be, he would want her to give at least a little of herself to him without taking everything for himself.

"I'm glad to know my contrary behavior is attractive," Utahime deadpanned.

"Suda is admittedly good at what she does, but she and Negi have been with Geto since the beginning, so she's bound to get arrogant." Gojo chuckled. "It was entertaining seeing you put her in her place. No one expected that. You were a surprise. Suguru wasn't sure you'd be able to handle yourself when surrounded by the other commanders, but you showed everyone."

Utahime tried not to let his words affect her, but it was hard, especially when he gently rubbed his thumb over the scar on her face. It was annoying how much his praise wormed its way under her skin. She wasn't here to make him proud – honestly, half the time, she didn't know what she was here for at all – but it felt good nonetheless, a relief even. The happier he was with her, the less likely would do anything frightening or drastic.

The thing was, she was beginning to forget that last part and only thinking about Gojo being happy. She didn't like that either. They were still at odds with each other. She could never fully be on his side, and he was still the enemy.

Right?

"Drove me a little crazy," Gojo admitted, his nose bumping into hers playfully.

Utahime closed her eyes. "You've been surprisingly patient." Her voice was low and a tad bit embarrassed considering the way her heart leaped. She struggled not to swallow the lump in her throat. "I didn't expect you to come here just to talk."

"I didn't, but I needed to make sure first."

"Make sure what?"

"That you wouldn't push me away," Gojo said before closing the small gap between them and pressing his lips against hers.

She should've pushed him away.

She didn't want to though, relief washing over her as Gojo kissed her as he'd clearly been wanting to do for days now. It was the first time in days that she hadn't felt unsettled, and she tried not to think about that too hard as she kissed him back.

If one thing could be said about Gojo, it was that he talked a lot. Most of it was unimportant drivel, usually meant to distract or deflect. However, when he didn't talk – when he grew silent and more focused on what he was doing – that was truly dangerous. He was serious. She could sense that in him now as he kissed her, demanding and more than a little possessive as if to prove a point.

He used his body to push against her until her back was pressed against the wall, one hand still partially in her hair while the other fell to her hip to pull her closer to him. She let him crowd her, let him block out the rest of the world, and accepted him in return. It was a relief to just not fight him over this. When she opened her mouth to him, he slipped his tongue inside, rocking his hips against hers.

She couldn't hide the little whimper that escaped her, and he groaned in return. Sliding her hands up his chest, she wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes to match his ridiculous height. It apparently wasn't enough for him, so he slid his hands under her and easily lifted her up, pinning her against the wall with his body, one of his legs propped underneath her.

A startled gasp slipped from her as her center rubbed against his thigh. It had...admittedly been a while since she'd been with anyone, but Gojo made that time in between even more apparent. He consumed her, giving her little time to breathe or catch her breath, kissing her until she was panting and then trailing over her jaw and down her neck. She tilted her head back to give him more room, wincing and almost whining when he nipped and suckd at the vulnerable skin hard enough to leave marks that would embarrass her later.

He wasn't being cruel, not like before, but he wasn't being kind either.

Holding her up with one hand underneath her, he moved his leg so he could press his hips against hers. Utahime startled, caught off guard by how turned on he already was, even more so when he rocked himself against her. His name slipped from her lips, and he moaned against her neck, his breath burning her skin. He knew exactly what to do, letting her rub against him at just the right angle to build up pleasure.

She wondered how many other girls he'd had like this since coming here. She'd seen quite a few that would throw themselves on his bed if he so much as pointed. She didn't want to be one of them – and maybe a small part of her would be done with her and he'd toss her aside once she did let him have her – but then he murmured, "I've wanted you for so long, Utahime, only you," and she didn't wonder about it anymore.

"Gojo," she whined. "I need–"

"I got you," Gojo cut in breathlessly, his other hand moving to pull her shirt out of her pants. He undid it for her and let out a pleased sigh when he was able to touch the bare skin of her stomach. She felt so hot under his touch and wiggled against him more. "Been thinking about this all week – thinking about you." He raised his head to kiss her lips again. "You're very distracting, Utahime. What should I do about that?"

Utahime opened her eyes to look at him. "I didn't mean–"

"Doesn't matter," Gojo hummed. "You should take responsibility for that."

With shaky hands, Utahime reached out to pick at the blindfold on his face. When he didn't move or say anything, she gently tugged it down to rest limply around his neck, exposing his bright blue eyes to her. They were always too much for her to handle, piercing her directly into her soul, but she couldn't look away from him now. She had to face him head on.

"Not to mention the way you let Geto play with you," Gojo added. "Were you trying to make me jealous?"

Utahime's cheeks burned. "You know I wasn't."

"I was so worked up about that," Gojo told her, kissing her on the cheek. He peppered light kisses over her face, almost chaste, but then he ground himself against her, his hardening length even more obvious now, and she choked on a moan. "I was half in mind to storm over here and remind you who you're here with – who you belong to – fuck you until you were left begging and sobbing." He chuckled. "Wouldn't that have been amusing? Me scolding you, teaching you a lesson."

He had a very different definition of amusing than her, but Utahime couldn't argue with him, not when he was like this and she was so keyed up. He knew it too, his words only making it worse. She had thought he might. She'd been unable to sleep that night, lying awake in the bed just waiting for him to burst into the room and take her however he wanted. She wouldn't have been able to shove him off or push him away. He might pretend to give her the option, but it wasn't entirely real.

"Is that–?" Utahime was panting, coming closer to an edge she was partly fighting against. "Is that what you're doing now?"

"Maybe," Gojo replied flippantly, "or maybe I'm just tired of waiting. I'm used to getting what I want without threats these days, but you're my stubborn girl." She swallowed, tears burning at the edges of her eyes. "You've been rude and insolent. I let it slide, of course, because I like that about you, but that doesn't mean you should go without punishment entirely."

Utahime almost laughed. "That's what this is?"

"You hate how much you want me, don't you?" Gojo teased coldly. "This must be frustrating for you, so close to falling apart for me. You made me wait so goddamn long. I've fucking dreamed about this."

With his hand resting over her bra, he rubbed through it with his thumb, making her whine and squirm against him. She could feel his lips pull into a grin when he kissed her. He liked her like this – malleable under his touch, needy for him.

He was right. She did hate it.

"Gojo," she gasped, so close, too close.

"Maybe I should stop now and leave you alone like you always say you want–"

"Don't!" Utahime cried out without thinking, rutting against him embarrassingly in an attempt to push herself over the edge before he could back off.

He tsked lightly. "I wouldn't do that to you. I won't leave you, I promise." He swept her bangs out of her face and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear so he could nip at her earlobe. "As long as you remember that you're mine."

She came abruptly, burying her face in his shoulder to stop herself from crying out too loudly. Her body tensed at first as a blinding wave of pleasure surged through her, but then it began to spasm and she clumsily rubbed herself against him. He moaned, jerking his hips upward. It didn't matter if there were clothes separating them. The lack of contact made everything more heightened, more stimulating, and for a few seconds, all she could think about was that she wanted more.

Thankfully, those words didn't leave her mind, and all she could do was weakly cry his name over and over again as she rode out the end of her orgasm.

When she finally was able to come down from that high, Utahime slumped against Gojo, her face still buried in the crook of his shoulder and her arms limp around his neck. A few residual twitches shot through her, tiny whimpers pulled from her each time, but Gojo was still as he held her, his hold on her careful and his body sturdy. She swallowed thickly and lifted her head so she could kiss him. He let her be gentle and soft, not pushing her more like she expected.

Instead, she was surprised when he set her back down on her feet, allowing her to stand. She felt a little wobbly, her knees shaky, and so she held onto him, her face pressed against his chest. After she managed to catch her breath, she pulled back just enough so she could tilt her head and look up at him. He was gazing down at her, something of a soft look on his face.

Gojo caught her with a finger under her chin. "You look tired."

"I–" Utahime knew her cheeks were still red. "A little."

"Not sleeping well?" Gojo asked.

She slowly shook her head. A part of it was simply due to being here, not in her own apartment, constantly worrying about treading in water with sharks while her students and friends were on their own. Another part of it was because she had been thinking about him – with fear or anticipation, maybe a mixture of both.

"I'm tired too," Gojo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I hate doing all that political shit. It's more exhausting than fighting curses or other sorcerers."

Biting her lip, Utahime fiddled with his shirt. "You could...stay here a little longer."

"Not eager to let me go?" Gojo teased, squeezing her lightly.

"At least if you're here with me," Utahime said in a measured tone, "I know you're not getting into any trouble."

Gojo bent down to whisper in her ear, "Oh, I could certainly get into trouble with you."

She swatted at his chest and muttered, "You know what I mean," and he laughed, pulling on her toward the bed. He'd had it upgraded since she first came here, something about wanting only the best comfort for her. She was almost positive it was so there would be room for him to sleep in it too.

Dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed, Gojo tilted his chin and looked up at her expectantly, holding onto her hands. Utahime's heart swelled despite her better judgment. He'd been almost mean moments before – teasing her, forcing her to a release that she could still feel in her body, making her body and mind admit to wanting something she shouldn't – but even though he hadn't gotten off, he seemed almost...content. At peace.

The calm eye of the storm, if she had to hazard a guess.

"I have to change," Utahime told him.

Gojo simply smiled at her. "I don't mind waiting."

Utahime blushed again. "Not with you in the room!"

"Oh, Utahime, I missed you," Gojo laughed, letting go of her hands so he could flop back on the bed. "I think we're a little beyond propriety after what just happened, don't you?"

No, even if he was trying to play the role of diplomat or cult leader or the most dangerous curse user in the world that brought countries to their knees, he was still the annoying brat she remembered. At least with her. It might've irritated her, but she had to think that meant something. She just didn't know what.

Chapter 15

Notes:

I'm here to make Gojo suffer. You can clearly tell who I love more in this chapter. LMFAO He's so close...yet so far. Make him work for it, Utahime.

Chapter Text

Sharing a bed with someone had been...odd, to say the least.

It had admittedly been a while. She'd shared beds with past boyfriends and even with Shoko and Mei Mei when they were younger, but it wasn't something she was used to. Outside of teaching, working with the students and other sorcerers, dealing with curses, she spent the majority of her time alone. Yuki would tease her about needing to find someone – if not to date, then to at least warm her bed.

"You need to live a little, Utahime, get fucked, let someone treat you like a princess once in a while, make a man cry in bed," Yuki told her after their fifth round. "Fuck knows we don't have much time, not on our side, we gotta live it up while we can."

Utahime hadn't been good about that. She'd been too focused on surviving and making sure her own students were living their lives to think about her own.

Judging by the way he'd fallen asleep almost immediately, Gojo didn't seem to care. He'd wrapped his arms around her, pulling her snug against his chest, and then conked out his chin propped on the top of her head. She'd laid in bed with him for a while unable to sleep, his soft breath brushing over her hair, feeling the steady beat of his heart in his chest. She couldn't remember a time when she'd ever seen him so peaceful, so at ease with the world and the chaos surrounding him.

When was the last time he'd shared a bed with someone? Was this uncommon for him? She didn't think so. More than one person had made comments about Gojo and his followers, and it was easy to see where a few of them had fallen into his bed. He'd been talented at that before turning sides, so no doubt being viewed as a near-god made things easier.

Not that she was jealous or anything, but it made her feel off-balance. He was younger than her and more experienced. She pictured one of the sorcerers that had glared at her sideways when she passed them in the hall – prettier and stronger – curled up against his side and trailing their fingers over his bare chest. It was impossible to miss the way other people looked at him – their eyes following him hopefully.

It was a fool's game. If Gojo didn't look at someone, he didn't see them. If they were out of his sight, they were out of his mind.

In the end, Utahime fell asleep mid-thought. When she woke up from a dreamless sleep some hours later, she was disoriented, a little confused about why she was so hot, only to remember that she wasn't alone. She blushed, thankful for the darkness of the room. Thankfully, Gojo still seemed to be asleep. They'd moved around in their sleep, her face buried against her stomach with an arm around her hip, his breathing hot through her shirt.

However, when she moved to peel herself away from Gojo, he tightened his grip on her, and she startled when she realized that he wasn't actually asleep. Resting her hand on top of his head, his hair sliding through her fingers, Utahime quietly asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to know you snore," Gojo mumbled in response.

Utahime yanked on his hair. "Don't be rude."

Gojo slid a hand over her ass and squeezed, pressing his lips against her stomach over her shirt. "And don't do that unless you wanna start something you don't wanna stop."

With that threat in mind, Utahime stilled against him. She could feel him grinning, unable to stop squirming when he didn't stop. The t-shirt and shorts she'd worn to sleep in suddenly didn't feel like enough coverage, especially when he lifted her shirt up just enough so he could kiss her bare skin underneath. Her grip on his hair tightened unintentionally, and she twitched when he wiggled closer to her.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Utahime hissed, "Gojo."

"Hm?" He was pretending to not have understood her, a trick he'd used on her before, going all the way back to high school. Instead, he continued to press light kisses against her stomach, going further up until he nudged her bunched-up t-shirt. By then, she was breathing heavily through her nose and trying very hard to remain still. It was difficult, especially with one of his hands roaming over her body.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Utahime tried one more time. "Gojo."

That seemed to stir him out of the daze, and he pulled away from her so he could scoot up and become level with her. She let out an almost relieved sigh, only for it to be cut short when he pressed his lips against hers instead. It always caught her off guard how both needy and soft Gojo could be when he wanted it, his lips gentle against hers, giving her time to get used to him. He cupped her cheek before sliding his fingers through her hair and deepening the kiss, pouring more energy into it.

Well, so much for giving her time.

He kissed her until she was left breathless and gasping for air, his long body lined up against hers, one of his feet hooked around her legs. When he rolled his hips against hers, she wasn't shocked to find him half-hard already in his shorts. She could've rolled her eyes – he was so one-track-minded – but she couldn't deny that it felt good. He was slow about it, rocking into her like he was still a little asleep.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Gojo murmured against her lips. "We should do this more often."

Utahime didn't respond. Leading a cult that preached genocide must not have allowed Gojo a lot of lazy mornings. She tried to remind herself of that even as she kissed him in return and slid one of her hands down his back. In a sense, she could forgive herself for allowing this because she could tell herself that she had little choice – if Gojo wanted something or someone, it was impossible to deny him these days – but enjoying it…

That was something she was definitely struggling with. It shamed her deeply, even as she continued to kiss and rub herself on him.

When he pulled one of her legs over him, he pressed himself against her center and moaned her name into her mouth. A needy whimper escaped her, which spurred him forward. He took her hand that she'd laid on his face and dragged it down between them, making her jump a little when he held her hand against his hardened length. She got the hint immediately, her face burning bright pink, but with a twist of her wrist, she gripped him through his shorts and began to pump him.

"Fuck, Utahime," Gojo gasped, her name dragged out of his mouth. He hid his face in the crook of her neck as he rutted shamelessly into her hand. "I dreamed about this."

"A pathetic dream compared to most of your goals," Utahime hummed into his hair.

She could feel his lips tug upward into a grin, and he nipped at her neck. "Degrading me is only gonna make it hotter, you know."

Utahime did roll her eyes this time, but she didn't stop, not when he was making so many little noises in the back of his throat. She continued to pump him through his shorts, tightening her grip and picking up the pace, even as her face burned. If it had been a while since she'd shared a bed with someone, it had been even longer since she'd done something like this. She felt clumsy, out of practice, but that didn't seem to matter to Gojo. Surely he'd had far better than a shy morning handjob.

"Let me have you," Gojo breathed out.

Utahime squeezed him. "No."

Gojo groaned and lifted his face out of her neck so he could look her in the eyes. "C'mon, Utahime, I want you so bad. I've waited so long."

But Utahime turned her head away from him, pressing it into a pillow, and repeated, "No."

In response, Gojo rolled over top of her, catching her off guard, and stared down at her with the sort of intense desire that made her throat constrict. She blinked up at him, too startled to glare at his sudden shift. It was as if a switch had been flipped in him, changing him from soft and half-asleep to demanding and very much awake.

He pulled her hand away from him and pushed her thigh aside so he could slide in between her legs and press himself against her, rubbing his hard dick against her center. She gasped, canting her hips up to his instinctively, but when she went to push his chest, he took her hand and slammed it back on the bed, threading their fingers together.

"I've been good, haven't I?" Gojo ground his hips against hers almost unforgivingly. "I've been patient with you, even when I could've had you whenever I wanted. I don't have to wait for what I want here, but here you are, still thinking you can deny me and prolong the inevitable."

Even as Utahime rolled her hips up to meet him, arching her back in pleasure, she forced out a mocking, "So was that it? You brought me here with you just so you could eventually fuck me?"

"Maybe," Gojo shot back, cupping her chin and tilting her head back to further expose her neck. He nipped at the skin, sure to leave marks with his teeth. "I'm admittedly a selfish man when it comes to you, and I've a feeling Suguru is planning something with you that I don't like." He tilted his head. "Is it so bad of me to want you somewhere safe and all to myself?"

"I'm not a doll, Gojo," Utahime snapped, just barely biting back a gasp when a bolt of pleasure shot down her spine when he rolled his hips against hers again. "I'm not gonna just be your little plaything. You have plenty of those here already."

Gojo lifted his head and smiled down at her. "Not like you. You're special, Utahime."

She stilled underneath him, even as her body reacted in distress, staring up at him and wanting more. He said it so earnestly, the expression on his face too open and honest without his sunglasses or blindfold to hide his eyes. It was difficult not to wonder how many other girls had fallen for this routine. He was good at it – good at making people think that his world revolved around them when in fact, the world truly did revolve around him sometimes.

Still, a small, embarrassing part of her wanted to believe him – that she could mean so much to him that he was willing to be better. It gave her some sort of hope that he wasn't fully the monster that people had come to see him as – that there was still a chance for good.

But it wasn't enough for her to cave in and give him what he wanted, not yet. She had to pretend she had some sort of dignity left.

"No," Utahime told him again, her heart beating frantically. "I'm not–"

Not what? Not ready? That implied she would be later on. Eventually, even without him pushing the matter, she'd give him everything he wanted. Why wait?

Why did he have to wait? It wasn't like she could tell him no if he kept pushing.

"You sure about that?" Gojo countered as he slid a hand down between them. She wiggled underneath him when he slipped his hand into her shorts, only to jump and gasp in surprise when one of his fingers nudged her underwear aside and slipped right into her wet center.

And she was embarrassingly wet, all things considered. Her mouth parted slightly, panting breaths pulled from her when he began to pump his finger in and out of her. The wet sounds were humiliating as well, telling both of them just how eager her body was for him. Despite the brightness of his blue eyes, his pupils were dark and blown out, his gaze locked on her face as she struggled to hide just how good it felt to be filled even a little.

Utahime swallowed thickly and managed to stammer out, "Go-Gojo–"

"You're so tight," Gojo marveled, adding a second finger and making her keen a little. "It's been a while for you, hasn't it? You're such a good girl – so busy taking care of others that you forget about yourself." He grinned, his teeth sharp, like he might bite into her. "Can't deny that I like it though. It's like you were waiting for me all along."

"I wasn't," Utahime insisted, oh-so stubborn. "And you– You need to st-stop."

Gojo paused in his ministrations, a rather disappointed look coming over his face. He huffed out a sigh and then pulled his fingers out of her and from her shorts. She slumped on the bed underneath him, pink in the face and close to sweating. He wiped his wet fingers on the sheets before dropping his head to nuzzle his nose into her neck and plant a few kisses there.

"I think you like torturing me," he muttered. "Is making me wait for you some sort of punishment?"

"If this was punishment, you'd deserve more than that," Utahime said quietly, the words slipping out of her mouth. She instantly regretted them, afraid of his response, but he just snorted, the warm air brushing over her skin. She still wasn't entirely on his side. He had to know that, but it didn't seem to matter any longer.

(To either of them.)

"You're gonna drive me up a wall," Gojo complained.

Utahime pet his hair, smoothing it down. "You've done that to me since we first met."

He nipped at her ear. "As if you didn't like it."

Twisting her lips into a frown, Utahime grumbled, "I didn't."

After pausing for a moment, Gojo rolled off of her and flopped onto his side beside her. She could still feel him hard against her thigh, which only served to fluster her no matter how hard she tried not to think about it, but he no longer appeared irritated by her refusal as he simply looked at her and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"I like this," Gojo said. "Waking up beside someone, especially you."

Utahime glanced at him briefly before looking away and saying, "Considering your fanclub, I figured it would be a common occurrence for you."

"Not really," Gojo admitted, avoiding her gaze this time when she looked back at him. "I'm not… I'm not good at sticking around – nothing worthwhile, nothing important enough to stay." He fingered a strand of her dark hair. "Not even with Suguru. I usually leave right after – or he leaves early to get things done. It's too…"

"Vulnerable?" Utahime suggested.

Gojo blew out some air. "I guess so."

She could understand that. She'd felt undeniably exposed and vulnerable sleeping beside Gojo, like she was completely at his mercy, but he had been the same way with her. While he could keep Infinity on at all times, he had essentially turned it off with her last night and this morning. For all he knew, she could've stabbed him in his sleep. It sounded like something Yuki would do, a hard and cold decision that Nanami would agree with.

But Utahime couldn't do that, no matter how angry and hurt she felt sometimes.

"I wondered if you might attack me in my sleep," Gojo said as if reading her mind.

Utahime hummed. "Jury's not out on that yet."

A smile touched Gojo's lips, and he lightly tugged on her hair. "That's my girl."

She huffed irritably. What a frustrating man.

They got out of bed not long after that, Gojo teasing her about needing to take a cold shower since she'd gotten him worked up. Utahime avoided looking at him, her scar standing out the more she blushed. At least he wasn't mad about that. She was kind of worried that he would be and she would have to do something to appease him, even if it meant giving him a handjob.

Utahime hid her face in her hands, embarrassed over the thought and how wanton she'd behaved with Gojo in the past twelve hours. She felt like a damn virgin at this point. As much as her making him restrain himself must have frustrated him, he was no doubt getting some enjoyment out of it as well.

She hadn't saved herself for him – she hadn't waited for him – but it was almost starting to look like it considering how little she'd paid attention to that part of her life until now.

"You should've joined me in the shower," Gojo said when he stepped back into the room, his hair still wet from being washed. Utahime huffed as he nuzzled her neck, droplets of water splashing over her clothes. "I'm hungry, but I need to swing by my room and change clothes first. You kinda made a mess of my pants last night – not that I'm complaining."

Utahime blushed and determinedly did not look at the spot on his pants leg. It would shame her for an eternity if she saw it, not that it mattered since Gojo didn't even bother trying to hide the fact that he'd stayed the night in her room. She didn't miss the occasional glare shot her way or the knowing look in some of the servants' eyes.

This was humiliating – and they hadn't even had sex. His other conquests must've loved this sort of attention, at least while it lasted before he grew bored or simply moved on.

After Gojo changed clothes (and she fended him off by refusing to enter his quarters), he dragged her to the kitchen. Utahime couldn't help but watch him along with the staff while they wandered around the room. The staff seemed...more at ease with Gojo. Certainly they were still nervous, casting glances his way and then to Utahime before busying themselves again, but pure terror didn't fill the room. No one rushed to attend to them or stammered through their words to speak.

Instead, they seemingly left Gojo to his own devices. He picked through some fruit, torn between an apple and nashi, before settling on the apple. It was sweeter, she supposed, a trait he'd never outgrown after accidentally getting somewhat addicted to candy when he was a teenager. He tossed the nashi at her, grinning when she just barely managed to catch it, and then leaned against the counter beside her, comfortable with the noisiness of the kitchen.

"Come in here often?" Utahime asked, rolling the fruit between her palms.

Gojo shrugged. "It smells nice and Suguru doesn't come in here often." Well, that explained why that kitchen servant damn near had a panic attack when Geto walked in here with her. He wasn't a common sight for them, so they didn't have to deal with him directly often. "Plus, I like to sneak some desserts during the day."

Utahime sighed. "Some things never change."

"Well, I can get away with it here."

"It's not 'getting away with it' when people are too afraid to tell you no," Utahime pointed out.

He bit into the apple and leaned in closer to her, swallowing and then drawling, "That doesn't stop you from saying no."

No, it didn't, but that was just how things were between them. It didn't seem to matter to him either, seeing as how their fear just made things easier for him. Life was like that for him though. He'd had his own struggles being the strongest sorcerer and the head of his clan – she wouldn't deny him that – but his strength, power, and status opened a lot of doors for him that were locked for others.

The doors to the kitchen burst open, and Utahime spun around, expecting a servant or something, only to hear Yuta's frustrated voice, "–just accept that it's not a good idea? I'm not saying you can't do it – just that you–"

He cut himself off and came to a sudden halt when he caught sight of Utahime and then Gojo. Mai stormed in behind him, unaware of his abrupt stop. "You don't have to say that I'm too weak. I can hear it clear as–" She crashed into Yuta's back and then stumbled backward. "Yuta! What the hell–?" She finally registered what had stopped him cold, her face turning from irritated to impassive in a flash. "Oh, did we interrupt something?"

"Just breakfast," Gojo replied mildly. "Hungry?"

Yuta shook his head. "Not real–" He didn't have any time to finish his sentence, not when Gojo threw an apple at him as well. Unlike Utahime, Yuta caught the fruit with one hand without even blinking, the action so quick and fluid that she would've sworn that he'd anticipated the move from Gojo.

"Stop being so difficult," Mai scolded as she stepped around them, speaking briefly to a servant about what she wanted to eat.

A hard look fell over Yuta's face. "I'm not the one being difficult."

Mai folded her arms across her chest. "Oh yeah? Then let it go."

"I'm not–" Yuta hesitated, his eyes flickering to Gojo and Utahime again before he looked back at Mai. "I'm not having this discussion here."

"We're not having it anywhere because I'm done," Mai shot back coldly. "The decision has already been made. It's not a matter of 'if' but when. Get over it."

Yuta opened his mouth, ready to argue again, but Utahime held up a hand and he stopped himself. Utahime took a deep breath. "I thought you two settled this yesterday."

Neither Yuta nor Mai spoke, avoiding her and each other, both of them too stubborn – or uncomfortable to bring up whatever had started their fight with Gojo around. Right, of course. It had to do with something that had been spoken about at the dinner after she and Yuta left, something she wasn't supposed to know yet.

Gojo lifted a hand. "You can tell her."

Yuta gave him a wary look. "Are you sure? Geto won't–"

"Suguru isn't here." Gojo's tone was mild, but there was something sharp and deliberate about the way he bit into the apple. He swallowed and added, "Besides, if you two are fighting this much, it might start affecting your duties here. I'd rather not send you out on missions again."

His words were effective, making Yuta's shoulders drop. "Right, yeah, okay."

"I thought you were the carrot and Geto was the stick," Mai said dryly.

Gojo gave her a lazy smile. "I'm on Yuta's side here. It's a good idea – you know how much I love drama – but I don't know if you're ready yet."

Mai scowled. "Yes, I get it. I'm weak–"

"That's not what I'm saying!" Yuta exploded.

"Stop!" Utahime snapped, making both Yuta and Mai flinch back. Gojo only continued to smile and eat his apple. "What is this about? Look, I get it. You couldn't tell me before, but now Gojo has given permission, so please, let me help."

After looking at each other for a few beats, a silent conversation passing between them through their eyes, Mai turned to face Utahime and began to explain. "We've put together a plan to speed up our agenda through a more...diplomatic approach."

Utahime stared back at her, an expressionless look on her face. "Your agenda."

Mai smiled, not even bothering to pretend like she cared or look sheepish. "A very polite way of putting it, I know."

Yes, it was a polite way of describing the genocide of non-sorcerer humans. Once again, a few of the servants looked their way, but no one dared speak out of turn, not even the girl who handed Mai a bowl of congee. At least Yuta had the sense to look abashed, but Gojo didn't blink either. Still, Utahime waved for her to continue.

"If we can sway the other two clans onto our side, the smaller clans below them will follow," Mai finished. "Once that's done, all of Japan will be under control and, well, the rest of the world will likely fall in line since Japan has the largest number of sorcerers by far."

Utahime tapped her lips in thought. "Geto did mention something about Gojo dealing with the clans." He wouldn't tell her more than that though. "Are you...okay with that?"

Mai shrugged. "If it'll help, then sure."

"It's more than that," Yuta added in an exasperated tone.

"I want to help too," Mai shot back.

"Then you can just give details and stuff," Yuta insisted, setting the apple aside and stepping forward. As worked up as he was, he was at least keeping a lid on his curse energy, but Utahime wasn't sure how much longer he could do that. "It doesn't have to be you."

Mai dropped her bowl of congee on the table so hard that Utahime was almost surprised the bowl didn't shatter. "Yes it does!"

Utahime frowned. "What's going on?"

"Instead of going to speak with the clans themselves, Geto and Gojo decided to send representatives to each clan first, to test the waters and see how serious they are," Mai told her, although she was staring Yuta down.

Yuta was also focused on Mai in return, angrily adding, "And Mai is the representative that will speak with the Zen'in clan."

At that, Utahime's eyes widened. "Mai–"

"Don't you start on it too," Mai snapped, shooting her a cold glare. "No one asked me to do this – it's not like Geto pressured me or anything. He expressed his concern too, whether you believe it's real or not. Your issues with him aren't mine." Yuta clenched his hands into fists at his side, but he didn't counter her. That was clearly a touchy subject, one that Mai had a deep knowledge of. "But even Gojo agreed that I'm the best choice to represent them with the Zen'in clan. No one knows them like I do."

"The last time you were anywhere near them, you nearly died," Yuta pointed out, sounding more like he was pleading than angry. Concern shined brightly in his wide eyes. "Your own father tried to kill you–"

"You think I don't remember that?" Mai retorted furiously. "That I don't recall how much they hate me and would've preferred if I was dead?"

"That's why you shouldn't go!" Yuta insisted, stepping forward and reaching to touch her arms. She pulled away from him, and he flinched back in shame. It wasn't like him to reach out, the action too vulnerable. "It's too dangerous. I know you think Maki or even Fushiguro won't want you dead, but Naoya is a monster. You said it yourself. He won't care. He'll try to kill you anyway for running away – for daring to live your own life."

"I know!" Mai almost yelled. Yuta blinked, a hurt look flashing across his face, but he didn't step back, and she looked away, clearly embarrassed by her outburst. She folded her arms across her chest and took a deep breath, repeating again in a quieter voice, "I know."

When Utahime laid a hand on Mai's arm, she didn't cringe or pull away. Instead, although it was barely noticeable, she leaned more into Utahime's touch, as if to absorb some sort of comfort. Although she was hiding it behind disdain and anger, Utahime could feel the tension lying underneath Mai's skin, her tense body belaying her nerves. She may have been the one to volunteer for this, but she was still scared.

She was still so young – and had been betrayed by her own family as much as they believed she had betrayed them.

"Gojo, are you sure this is okay?" Utahime asked. Mai tensed even further under her touch, and she sighed. "I'm not saying that you're too weak to do this – I know you're stronger than what people see – but Yuta is right. We were told that if you'd somehow survived, you were to be executed on sight. Naoya made it very clear that your betrayal would be dealt with harshly."

Mai glanced at her out of the corners of her eyes. "And you just went along with that, didn't you? Like the obedient, little slave you were."

"I disagreed with the rule, quite vocally," Utahime told her, without anger or frustration. She did not need to tell Mai what she'd received in response to her verbal disagreement. Nanami had backed her up, pointing out Mai's youth and her treatment at the hands of her family, which was perhaps the only reason Naoya hadn't attacked her for disagreeing with him in front of the higher-ups.

Gojo finished the last of his apple and dropped the core into a trash bin. "It will be dangerous and it's almost guaranteed that Naoya will try to kill her, especially once he realizes that we sent her instead of coming ourselves." He pushed himself away from the counter and stood up. "He, along with the leader of the Kamo clan, will expect me, Geto, or both of us, but they're working under the assumption that they're on the same level as us. They aren't. When they see representatives instead, their true colors will show. If they can't handle being beneath us…"

"You're playing a game," Utahime stated. "A game with Mai's life!"

"The Zen'in clan is the biggest gamble and will be the most difficult one," Gojo pointed out, unbothered by Utahime's anger. "Mei Mei is going to speak with the Kamo clan, but we expect them to fall in line. They value blood – quite literally – so they've been wavering already. The Zen'in clan is stronger and more arrogant. Even if they agree to our terms, they will likely be a problem from within. If this is going to work, they need to know their place from the very beginning."

"And if they refuse?" Utahime demanded. "If they take their anger and insult out on Mai?"

Silence fell between them, the chattering and bustle of the kitchen almost quiet behind them. No doubt everyone was listening and word would spread throughout the compound. Yuta was right: they shouldn't have had this discussion here, but Gojo didn't seem to care. Perhaps the cogs had already been put into motion, and keeping this plan was no longer a concern. Had Mei Mei already left to discuss matters with the Kamo clan?

"I'll go with her," Yuta spoke up. "I'll go with Mai to speak with the Zen'in clan."

Mai scoffed. "You handling negotiations?"

Yuta flushed. "I wouldn't– I wouldn't be doing any talking. I'd just, you know– I'd protect you."

"Now you're my bodyguard?" Mai questioned. "You're already doing that with Utahime. Going to the meeting will pull you away from your duty here." She tossed Gojo a knowing look. "And someone is making things worse. Tensions have been high since that incident at dinner."

Gojo held up his hands in surrender. "I'm completely innocent."

"I–" A conflicted look crossed Yuta's face as his eyes flickered from Utahime to Mai. "You can't go on your own – and I don't trust anyone else to keep you safe." He swallowed and then turned to Utahime, bowing before her. "Please give me permission to go with Mai."

Utahime blinked in surprise, her hand falling away from Mai's arm. "I'm not–" She looked at Gojo, whose expression was hard to read as he watched Yuta. He'd put his blindfold back on after changing in his room, but he appeared very thoughtful. "I don't think I'm who you should ask. Gojo–"

"He put me in charge of watching over you," Yuta cut in, still bowing. "I need your permission in order to leave. It won't be for long. I just–" He stood back upright, glancing at Mai briefly before focusing on Utahime again. "I need to make sure she's okay. And maybe… I don't know. The Zen'in clan will be unsettled to see Mai again and realize she's representing Gojo and Geto, but maybe they'll be more likely to listen if they know they don't have the strongest person in the room."

A grin tugged at Gojo's lips. "Is that confidence I'm hearing? Finally admitting you're one of the strongest sorcerers here?"

Yuta looked more embarrassed than confident. "It might...help. They have the highest number of grade one sorcerers in their ranks, but maybe they'll think twice about attacking Mai or trying to take her back to use as blackmail."

"I would pay actual money to see you threaten Naoya," Mai said wistfully.

"I'm being serious," Yuta told her. "If he tries anything with you, I'll kill him – and not just because attacking you will be a direct insult to Gojo and Geto."

"As much fun as killing Naoya would be, that would kind of disrupt our attempt at peaceful negotiations and accelerate the war further," Gojo pointed out. "We're trying to refrain from murdering people. If you can't control yourself or Rika, I don't know if I can allow you to go."

Yuta stiffened. "I can handle it. I've gotten–" He let out a breath. "I've gotten a lot better about controlling myself and Rika."

Gojo nodded. "I can tell." He tilted his head. "Your time with Utahime really has changed you." When she gave him a questioning look, he smiled at her. "It's a good thing, I swear. Look at him being decisive and determined. I've never seen him like this before." That smile turned sharp in a way that made Utahime wary and uncomfortable. "Suguru won't be as pleased about it, but he can deal. I like it."

"He's growing up, isn't he?" Mai sighed, her tone both teasing and fond.

"I'm being serious!" Yuta insisted again. He spun around and took Utahime's hands, surprising her with his forwardness. "I know Gojo put me in charge of your protection, but my leaving would affect you more than it would him. Mai isn't wrong. You're in a tricky position right now. Some of the commanders were impressed by you – and others were angered. Not to mention–" His eyes roved around the kitchen, but he pressed his lips into a thin line and then continued, "I don't want to leave you vulnerable either."

"But Mai's safety is important," Utahime agreed softly. She pulled one of her hands out from his grip and rested it on his shoulder. "I think you should go. Even if she is representing Gojo and Geto, she will be in the direct line of danger. I–" She gazed at Mai and took a breath, her shoulders sinking as she let it out. "I couldn't protect her from her family back then. I would appreciate it if you could do that for me now."

When Yuta let go of her hand and stood upright, he wore a triumphant look on his face – only for it to vanish when Mai flicked his temple. "Ow, what was that for?"

"You haven't asked me if I'm okay with you joining me or if I even want you there," she scolded him, planting her hands on her hips.

Yuta had the decency to look abashed. "Oh, um… Can I join you on the, uh, mission?"

"You'd make for a terrible diplomat and you'll probably make things worse once Naoya starts opening his yap," Mai stated. There was an awkward beat where Yuta shuffled on his feet and tried to figure out something to say in his defense, but then Mai shrugged and picked up her bowl of congee. "But sure, I could use the back-up, and your presence will catch them off guard. If Gojo is okay with it, then I am too."

"I, for one, think it's a fabulous idea," Gojo piped up cheerily.

"It's settled then." Mai pointed at Yuta before he could even sigh in relief. "But let me do the talking. You don't know how to deal with them. I do. You bark when I say back. You bite when I say bite. Got it?"

Yuta nodded and moved to follow her out of the kitchen. "Got it, yeah."

"Don't forget the apple Gojo so graciously gave you," Mai added. He did as he was told, picking up the apple and bowing once more to Utahime and Gojo. She waved him out of the room ahead of her and then rolled her eyes before tossing them a look over her shoulder. "You two have fun today. I'll make sure he's ready. Do you want to inform Geto or do you want me to tell him about the change of plans?"

"I'll do it later," Gojo said lightly. Mai considered him for a moment before bowing and leaving the kitchen.

As soon as the doors were shut, Utahime turned to face Gojo. "You knew, didn't you?" He gave her an innocent look – or at least he tried to, seeing as how it was impossible for him to look truly innocent. "You knew this would start an argument between them, but you wanted Yuta to go with her. You didn't want to just assign him."

Gojo shrugged. "He came to the decision on his own."

"Why go through all the fanfare?" Utahime questioned him. "Why not just bring it up with him or even with Geto? It caused him a lot of distress."

"Yuta has spent his entire time here being told what to do, and he's done it without fail and never complains," Gojo explained casually. "He's a good kid – a great soldier – but I think he can be more than that. Don't you think so?"

"Of course I do," Utahime sighed, "but there has to be an easier way."

"This is the first time he's requested to do something – the first time he's made his own choice in his role here." Gojo leaned beside her on the counter again, brushing his shoulder against hers. When he held out a hand between them, she looked at it for a moment and then took it, threading her fingers with his. "And it's to protect instead of destroy, which he's always been ordered to do before. I think that says something."

Utahime gazed down at their hands. "Gojo… What you do here… Your agenda, propaganda, the image you portray… You have to know it's one of fear and destruction."

Gojo placed a finger under her chin and lifted her chin to face him. "And what if I want to be more?"

"I don't know if you can," Utahime admitted. "Not after the damage that's been done."

"I guess we'll see soon enough," Gojo told her. "This is the first step."

An uncomfortable feeling settled in Utahime's gut, her stomach twisting, but she could also sense the genuine emotion behind Gojo's words. He wanted to do better – he wanted to be more than just a monster – but it was hard. There was still so much blood on their hands, Yuta's included. There was blood on the other side as well, evident by Mai's existence. Utahime wanted to believe that there could be more than suffering, but…

Her eyes roamed to the non-sorcerers doing their best to appear small and non-existent as they worked. She didn't think it was possible, not if Geto and Gojo got what they wanted. To be honest, she wasn't even sure if they wanted the same things anymore and if they realized that or if it mattered.

Only time would tell.

Chapter 16

Notes:

This chapter really do be going from 0 to 100. lmao Also, it's longer than I anticipated, so hey, this is just me making up for lost time. Shout out to Irene for inspiring me to listen to the Skyfall OST while writing the second half of this chapter. It really did a number on me.

Chapter Text

Although she was doing her best to hide it, Utahime could tell right away that Mai was nervous. While Mei Mei had left the previous morning to speak with the Kamo clan, Gojo and Geto had decided to make the Zen'in clan wait a little longer. It would leave them restless, unsettled, and by the time they realized that the leaders of this so-called sorcerer revolution weren't coming, they would be unable to hide their true colors.

Utahime fidgeted with the sleeves of her kosade as she watched Mai pace back and forth underneath the tree where she'd watched the older students train outside just a few weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime ago. Those students had been the same age as Mai, maybe a year younger, but she could've been with them, learning in the same class to train her technique. Mai did not want to further build her technique, even knowing the consequences it would have on her twin sister.

As Utahime got closer, she noticed something in Mai's hands – a small knife, about the size of a letter opener. She was twirling it between her fingers, fiddling with the end of the handle and sharp end of the blade, pressing into her skin just lightly enough to avoid pricking her skin. If she slipped even a little, she'd slice into her skin, but the movement was too practiced, like some sort of soothing technique.

An old habit Utahime had caught her doing before whenever either her father or Naoya came around. She'd probably outgrown it while living here under Geto and Gojo's rule, but now that she was due to confront her family again after being away from them for so long, it had come back to her, a desperate attempt to center herself.

It would be easier said than done. It had taken years for Utahime to gain that control over herself, and even then, Gojo had always had a way of breaking it. She feared that, for Mai, a few members of her family would have that same effect on her.

"Mai," Utahime called out when she was close enough to be heard.

Immediately, Mai spun around, the tiny dagger vanishing in a flash. She'd schooled her expression into one of her usual looks – disinterested, with a hint of contempt. It was one Utahime was familiar with and even made her smile. Mai was good at hiding how she felt – growing up under the Zen'in household required that, lest she wanted to be punished like Maki – but she wasn't made of steel. Bits of true emotion bled through when she couldn't help herself.

Like the relief glimmering in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Mai demanded. "And alone? I thought Gojo had you under lock and key – for your own safety, of course."

Utahime suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Instead of admitting her nervousness, she responded in a prickly manner. That was typical. If she covered herself in enough thorns, then no one would dare come close to see the vulnerable side of her underneath.

"Gojo wanted to speak with Yuta, so I...might've stepped out while they were busy," Utahime explained. It wasn't like she was going to run away. As shameful as it was, even she knew she wouldn't attempt that anymore. She tried not to think about what that might mean – if her loyalties were shifting, if she'd grown too comfortable here, if she had given up. It was easier to think that she was trying to protect those she loved from a different position than before.

Mai eyed her sideways. "Come to see me off then?"

"I just wanted to check on you," Utahime replied mildly.

With a scoff, Mai asked, "Did you come to convince me not to do this?"

Utahime shook her head. "No, it's your decision. If this is truly what you want to do and believe is for the best, then I'll support you."

Mai narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"Because you were never given choices before," Utahime stated without any hesitation. Surprise flashed across Mai's face, likely shocked over the blunt response. "You know I don't believe in this...eradication of non-sorcerers – I'll never be able to ignore that – but I can't deny that your life is so much better here."

"They're doing some good," Mai said edgily.

"They're doing better than I ever could," Utahime admitted. "You're stronger, more assured of yourself, comfortable." She held her hands in front of herself and dropped her gaze. "I wanted to do that for you, but in the end, I was little more than a doormat myself. I thought… I thought if I could take the brunt of it, things wouldn't be so bad for you. They'd be okay."

Mai's gaze hardened. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that either."

"You're right," Utahime said. "I just… I wish I could've done more." She took a deep breath and straightened her back. "I don't want you to just be alive. I want you to be happy and safe, so yes, I'm concerned about this."

"I'll be fine," Mai said, looking at something behind Utahime.

Turning her head, Utahime followed Mai's gaze and caught sight of Yuta and Gojo walking toward them. Gojo was speaking animatedly, one hand on Yuta's shoulder while raising the other. She could tell that Yuta was trying to pay attention, but his eyes kept flickering back to Mai. Her indifferent expression didn't change, but she did fold her arms across her chest and tilt her head, watching them the entire way.

"There you are, Utahime!" Gojo exclaimed cheerfully. "Tricky girl sneaking off like that." He threw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her tight against him so he could kiss her temple. "You're gonna give Yuta a heart attack if you keep that up."

Yuta turned away slightly. "She should be fine. I just…"

"Worrywart," Gojo teased, refusing to loosen his grip on Utahime. Now that he had her back, his hold on her suggested that Yuta wasn't the only one that had been concerned. "You need to take care of yourself if you're gonna spend all your energy on taking care of others."

"He'll never learn that if Geto doesn't stop dumping every difficult mission on his shoulders and you keep harping on him about his strength," Mai pointed out as she dragged Yuta toward her. He let her do it, not even fighting or blushing when she began to fix his collar and brush off his shoulders. It looked like someone else had dressed him, putting him in thin slacks, a white button-up shirt, a vest, and even a tie. It matched Mai's simple but pretty, dark dress, similar to one she would wear outside of school.

They obviously wanted to make an impression, but Utahime noticed Mai's hands trembling.

Gojo caught onto it as well, his eyes flickering up to her face. "You sure you can handle this?"

"I'm fine," Mai snapped, tugging almost violently on Yuta's tie. He didn't flinch.

The smile returned to Gojo's face. "You'll protect her though, won't you?"

Yuta gave him a flat look that left little to the imagination. Did he even need to ask such a question? It was obvious that he would – with everything in him. Unlike Mai's nervousness, Yuta's affect was cold, flat, utterly still like undisturbed water. The closest she'd seen him like this was when he had confronted Negi in the hallway over insulting her. The only difference was that his curse energy was steady and calm.

She knew though, if the Zen'in clan pushed him, they would be smothered under that overwhelming intensity that could radiate from him. It wouldn't be pretty.

Gojo lifted a finger from Utahime's shoulder. "And remember–"

"No killing," Yuta cut in with a beleaguered sigh. "I know. I won't."

"You'll want to," Gojo said casually, dropping his finger back down. "The Zen'ins are a nasty, annoying bunch, but Naoya is particularly skilled at inspiring people to murder him." He glanced down at Utahime, a knowing look in his eyes. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"He's a frustrating bastard, to say the least," Utahime provided. "And that's saying something."

Gojo scoffed playfully. "Are you implying something, Utahime?"

"That you can be worse?" Utahime looked up at him but didn't finish her statement. She'd let that linger in his mind.

Was he and Geto worse than Naoya? Well, as horrible of a person as Naoya was – and he truly did make her want to spit at his feet – he hadn't massacred an entire village. Had he killed someone in cold blood? Sure, but then again, both Nanami and Yuki had been forced to kill people as well, other sorcerers that attacked them and meant full well to murder their students. It wasn't pretty. She knew it weighed heavily on Nanami's mind, whereas Naoya didn't give a shit. Maybe he even enjoyed it, allowed to use his technique at full capacity under the guise of protecting others.

But he'd been put in a position to do that by Geto and Gojo, whose own rampage had ravaged much of Japan and even surrounding countries.

"There, that's good enough," Mai stated after fixing his hair. Utahime bit her lip. She knew what Mai was doing – fussing over Yuta in an attempt to hide her nerves. Instead of the small dagger, she was picking at Yuta, pretending like she was trying to make him look perfect. Yuta had let her without even a huff. "You look like my handsome bodyguard."

"That's literally what I am," Yuta pointed out.

Mai smiled sharply. "Handsome?"

That broke through Yuta's wall, his cheeks flushing and his gaze dropping. "Are we ready now?"

"I suppose so." Mai looked around. "Alright, what fool is driving us there? I am not letting Gojo teleport me. I thought I was going to puke."

"I am," Yuta stated. "It'll just be us."

Mai gave him an incredulous look. "You? How do you know how to drive?"

"Geto taught me," Yuta muttered as he tugged on a pair of fingerless gloves. "I needed to know in case I was stranded on my own during a mission."

The image was so strange that Utahime didn't know how to comprehend it. She would've expected Gojo to have been the one to teach him, not Geto, but she supposed that Gojo didn't travel in conventional means all the time. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't even sure if she'd ever seen Gojo drive. In a car, yes, because he hadn't learned how to teleport until he was in his twenties.

It was also difficult to imagine Geto doing something as domestic as teaching someone how to drive, especially Yuta. She couldn't even begin to think about how awkward and uncomfortable that must have been – or perhaps Yuta had still looked at Geto the same way he did Gojo now, with admiration and eagerness.

Stepping forward, Utahime laid a hand on Yuta's arm before he could leave. "Be careful, okay? I know you're strong, but Naoya and the higher-ups are conniving. They won't hesitate to be underhanded to pull one over you."

Yuta nodded. "Understood."

Utahime watched them go, still trapped under Gojo's arm. Both Mai and Yuta were silent and stiff, a sore difference from their usual state. She couldn't help but worry about them. Mai knew what her family was like, but Yuta didn't. Naoya would pick at him, and even if he was far stronger than most, with Rika guarding his back, he was only one person versus who knew how many people. The Zen'in clan had the highest number of sorcerers under their rule, hence their sway in jujutsu politics.

She'd dealt with that reality firsthand, especially after Mai's disappearance. While she would never tell her the truth, Utahime was outright blamed for Mai turning sides and running away, accused of not teaching her properly. Yaga had been executed because of his failure to teach Gojo and Geto correctly, and there had been rumors of a dismissal, if not worse.

"They should find better use for you," Naoya had told her once.

And then Gojo's words about the higher-ups deciding she would be better off bringing in the next generation of sorcerers came back to haunt her. He hadn't been far off. It was perhaps only Yuki's presence that had stopped Naoya from suggesting anything else. She might've been a woman, but she was more powerful than him, and they both knew it.

Utahime was not.

She had to hope that Yuta and Rika would be enough to protect Mai the way she couldn't.

"They'll be fine," Gojo reassured her, likely noticing her uncomfortable silence.

"You aren't concerned?" Utahime asked, still not looking away.

"Of course I am," Gojo replied, holding out a hand. "This is a very delicate situation. Suguru and I didn't just allow this to happen. We discussed it ourselves, especially after I told him that Yuta would be accompanying her. He anticipated that as well." Utahime glanced up at Gojo, catching the somewhat disgruntled look on his face. "It's dangerous. Even with Rika and Yuta's strength, their safety isn't guaranteed. They could be captured or even killed. The Zen'in clan will come prepared for us, not them."

Utahime frowned. "You're not making me feel any better."

"Naoya is a foolish, arrogant, annoying brat," Gojo continued, "but he's clever. That's how he managed to wrestle hold of the Zen'in clan in the first place. He'll probably let his arrogance get the best of him, and he might be the head, but he's just one man. He'll have to bend to the majority of the clan."

"So you blindside and overwhelm them from the start," Utahime huffed.

Gojo grinned. "Yuta's speciality. No one will be expecting us to have someone else on mine and Suguru's level. It'll be a cold dose of reality."

Utahime bit her lip. The only other person that came close, as far as she knew, was Yuki. She thought Hakari might be just as strong as them too, but he didn't play well with the higher-ups. To be honest, she was shocked that he hadn't jumped over to Gojo's side too, but he seemed more content to stay in the middle. It likely wouldn't be that way for long, especially if Gojo and Geto managed to sway the other clans.

Taking a breath, Utahime said, "I need to go. Classes start soon."

"Anyone ever told you that it's really hot that you're a teacher?" Gojo joked.

Utahime rolled her eyes. "Idiot."

Gojo nosed her hair, kissing the side of her hair. "Maybe I'll sit in on this one. Suguru apparently got a show. I wanna see you in action."

Irritated with his excessive public affection, Utahime shoved him away. "It's not a show, and even if I did let you sit in, this is not a good time." Gojo tilted his head curiously, waiting for her to explain. He didn't even seem upset that she'd pushed him off her. "I'm trying to slowly integrate Hifumi and Jiro back into the main class. It's just been us so far, but they need to be with the other kids if they're going to progress."

"They seem quite attached to you," Gojo pointed out. "Think they'll be okay with that?"

No, not really, but Utahime knew keeping her with them would only allow them to grow content, and they wouldn't actually further their progress. All she could do was shake her head, knowing that it was up in the air. Hifumi and Jiro were happy with her, and she had no doubt that they would be resistant to returning to a normal classroom, even if she promised to stay with them and continue on with private lessons as well.

In the end, while Gojo did walk her to the classroom, he couldn't stay long if he wanted to. Almost as soon as they walked into the side room, a sorcerer appeared to tell Gojo that Mei Mei had returned from speaking with the Kamo clan. He pulled Utahime close and kissed her on the lips right in front of the sorcerer before she could even say anything, flashing her a grin and a wave as he stated that he'd see her later.

The sorcerer didn't even blink at the interaction. Everyone here was fully aware of what she was to Gojo, so his outward displays of affection didn't shock them anymore. It was humiliating.

Unfortunately, Utahime's day didn't get any better. With Yuta gone, it was just her and the kids, and it proved to be another bump in the road of an already difficult day. While Jiro was upset and fell silent over the prospect of rejoining the main class, Hifumi was outright agitated, throwing a fit and kicking her chair across the room. Both of their curses were agitated, growing larger than normal, to the point where Utahime was forced to soothe them using her technique.

The children in the class were fearful as well, scooting away from the twins and outright avoiding them. Utahime was forced to shuffle them out of the building altogether and take them outside, the two curses growing too unruly with their humans being so upset. She could tell the teacher was perturbed as well. She'd even heard him mutter something about Utahime's ploy not doing the trick as she stepped out of the room.

Gojo's little pet had failed.

It didn't upset her like one might've thought. As soon as they were away from the classroom, Hifumi was all smiles and laughter, attentive and adoring, and Jiro began to speak again, no longer the despondent boy that made kids nervous around him. Even their curses became more docile, practically frolicking under the midday sun, no longer sticking to the shadows. They were free and comfortable – safe and happy. She'd done her job too well , perhaps.

Utahime knew acting when she saw it. Both the children and their curses had thrown tantrums in the classroom so they could stay with her. It was disheartening, but, in a sense, it was progress too. This was just the first step. Tomorrow, she would speak in-depth with them about it. They were likely worried about her abandoning them, but she wasn't about to do that. She knew damn well that her work with them wasn't done. As with all her students, it rarely was. Even those that had already graduated were her students in her heart.

She had a bad habit of not being able to let go. Maybe she cared too much. Both Gojo and Geto had used that against her in the end. Or maybe she was fighting so hard with Hifumi and Jiro to make up for the fact that she still felt as if she'd abandoned her own students. She hoped they didn't think that she'd forgotten them. She couldn't.

Seeing Yuta and Mai walk off to speak with the Zen'in clan reminded her of it. Would Maki or Megumi be there? What would they think upon seeing Mai again – realize she was flourishing better than ever before?

It hurt, and such an exhausting day only made that pain more apparent. After Utahime dropped Hifumi and Jiro off at the dorms, she returned to that little classroom, locking herself up in the room and hiding away from everyone. She sat at the makeshift desk, elbows on the table, head in her hands, her hair falling over her fingers and hiding her face. She'd known it would take time – knew there would be setbacks – but she still couldn't help but feel like she was at a loss.

What was she doing here? Honestly. Did she really want to help Hifumi and Jiro and other kids like them or was she just kidding herself? Was she using them as replacements for her old students? For Megumi, Nobara, Momo, Yuuji, Todo, Maki, Noritoshi… Was this just a lie to keep herself from losing it? To keep Gojo happy? To keep Geto from considering her worthless? What was she doing, helping them under the guise that she was trying to be a good person?

She was just… She was just trying to do some good in this brutal world.

"You look tired. Surely a bed would be better than a desk for a nap."

Utahime jerked her head out of her hands and found Geto standing in the doorway. The classroom behind him was empty and dark, the sun having set some time ago. She hadn't even realized how late it was, hidden away from everyone else – apparently not hidden enough from Geto.

Settling back down in the chair, Utahime muttered, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I heard you had a difficult day," Geto said lightly. She couldn't tell if he sounded amused or not. It was hard to read his expression in the dim-lighting on top of her being tired.

Scoffing, Utahime shoved away from the desk and stood up. "Of course. Word travels like wildfire around here. I bet people couldn't wait to talk about what a disappointment I am." She smoothed down her front, trying not to appear as ruffled as she felt. "You must be enjoying yourself."

"Why would I be enjoying myself?" Geto asked.

Utahime gestured vaguely. "Well, Gojo has gone on in length about how special I am – how good I am with students – and I'm meant to impress you, but I've seemingly failed. I'm proving Gojo wrong, and you can gloat about how I'm nothing and–"

Geto snatched her by the arm, pulling her attention back to him. "You think so poorly of me that you think I'd mock you to Gojo's face after one setback?"

Staring in the face of his intense gaze, Utahime almost balked, her heart skipping a beat, but she knew that would be a mistake. He was questioning her, but not in the way she'd expected, and he wasn't holding her tightly either, just enough to keep her eyes on him. "That's what it feels like to me – like you're just waiting for me to mess up so you can convince Gojo to toss me out."

"This isn't about Satoru," Geto told her. "It's about you and me."

"Really." Utahime pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to scowl. "Then what are you doing here if not to rub today's failure in my face?" She searched his eyes, looking for an answer, but she couldn't find one. Damn Geto for having an exceptional poker face. "You knew Gojo wouldn't be here. He's with Mei Mei still, isn't he, or busy dealing with clan stuff and Yuta is gone – so you sought me out when you knew I'd be alone."

"Maybe I wanted you alone," Geto replied, only making her furrow her brow. "Maybe I wanted a quiet, honest moment with you. The others get in the way – Yuta worrying about you, Gojo keeping you for himself, Mai concerning you. Even the kids and sorcerers and–" A strange look flickered across his face. "And the non-sorcerers. It colors your view of me."

"You've done that enough yourself," Utahime pointed out.

Geto smiled, rather sheepishly. "You're not wrong. I made myself out to be quite the villain, haven't I?" He let go of her arm, allowing her to take a step back, but she kept her eyes on him. Something told her that looking away would be a mistake. "But I want to fix that, so no, I didn't come here to mock or threaten you. I came here to say that I understand."

Well, that was certainly unexpected. Utahime stared back at him in confusion. "Understand?"

"Others might see today as a failure, but I see it as progress," Geto explained. "Of course Hifumi and Jiro would react this way. They've become attached to you. For the first time in their lives, they feel safe, protected, wanted . You've provided stability and care in a way they've never experienced, and so naturally, they don't want to leave you – and, more importantly, they don't want you to leave them. This move scared them, small as it was, but it'll get better."

Utahime's shoulders slumped and her gaze fell to the wooden floor. She couldn't help but think of the old song she'd sang to the children and their curses that first day to calm them down. It really did need sweeping now. The curses and Hifumi had made a mess of it, and she hadn't the energy to put it back together.

"You're right," Utahime mumbled, somewhat begrudgingly. She hated how hopeful Geto's words made her feel. She hadn't messed up – she hadn't failed – it was just a stumble, one she could recover from. She'd suffered much worse before, hadn't she? "Maybe… Maybe instead of integrating them into the class for an hour or so, I can bring in a small group out here, or maybe outside. If they can slowly get used to the other children and vice versa, they might take to the class itself a little better."

"There you go," Geto chuckled. "You just needed a little push. You're very good at this. I imagine teaching under the higher-ups taught you how to improvise and be clever."

Utahime bit her lip. "It wasn't...easy." Her eyes flickered up to Geto's, unblinking when she added, "You pushed us into a corner. We couldn't teach the same as before."

"And yet you more than managed," Geto countered.

Planting her hands on her hips, Utahime eyed him briefly and then looked around the room again. "Yes, well, thank you." She stepped further away from him, crouching down to pick up a few books and return them to the small bookcase. Now that she was out of that cloud, she felt somewhat embarrassed over the state of this place and herself. "I appreciate your honesty."

"Ah, stiff politeness again – I thought we were beyond that, Utahime," Geto sighed, now sounding disappointed. Better than angry or mocking, she supposed. "That diplomatic wall of yours is almost impossible to penetrate."

"Can you blame me?" Utahime asked, busying herself with picking up the room now. She hoped that he might get the picture and leave if she didn't pay him attention, but she could feel his sharp gaze on her instead, following her every move. "I keep– I keep thinking that you're plotting a way to remove me from the equation – to get me far from Gojo, to take away–" To take Yuta from her. She stopped herself at the last second, but she didn't doubt Geto knew what she'd thought to say. "Everything feels like a game with you, Geto, and I'm not good at them."

"Yes you are," Geto insisted. "You've been playing them your whole life, haven't you?"

"Perhaps so," Utahime huffed, standing up and wiping her hands on her hakama. "But I'm tired of them. I'm tired of the games. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of feeling like I'm one step away from falling off the ledge I've been placed on, blindfolded, with nowhere else to go."

There was silence for a moment. Utahime tilted her head back, eyes closed, and let out a breath. It felt good to get that off her chest. Was she worried about Geto's reaction? Of course. But he wouldn't kill her. He might not even condescend her. At most, he would file this outburst away and figure out how to use it against her later. A pawn to her knight, innocuous yet dangerous when played correctly. A fucking game. When had he gotten like that? Had this behavior always been hidden behind that polite smile?

"I'm not here to play games with you, Utahime," Geto said, sounding closer than she expected.

Frustrated and more than a little irritated, Utahime spun around and demanded, "Then please do enlighten me–"

Only to be caught off guard completely when Geto caught her chin between his fingers and bent down to kiss her.

It was different from kissing Gojo. When Gojo kissed her, it was full of passion, overwhelming and intense, as if he meant to consume her. He liked to press her into things – the bed, a wall, door, even a piece of furniture – close, like he was trapping her with him. She couldn't get away, couldn't escape even if she wanted to, and he took away all sense from her. Gojo kissed her like she belonged to him and he'd destroy something if she didn't, and it was all she could do to keep up with him, lest she lose herself. He needed her to want him, to be with him.

Geto was different. He was surprisingly gentle, careful, even tentative. He knew this was a surprise and that she would likely hesitate to do anything out of shock. Although his fingers held her chin, they weren't to hold her in place like Gojo's might be, just meant to guide her to him. She didn't know what to do, frozen stock still, her fingers spread out as she held her hands just a few inches away from him, unsure of whether to push him away or not.

He kissed her like he was waiting for her to breathe, not steal her breath. However, the moment her lips did move, all that hesitation was gone, and he kissed her like he meant it, like he wanted it more than anything, working his lips against hers in a way that sent her mind spiraling frantically.

When it finally caught up with what was going on, Utahime pressed her hands against Geto's chest and pushed him away. Her eyes were wide, panic flaring in them, and she was breathing heavily, both of fear and simply lack of air from him kissing her. "What are you–?" She swallowed and took a staggering step back. "Gojo–"

"It's fine," Geto told her calmly. "We've always shared everything."

"Not–" Utahime's face burned red. "This is different, and you know it!"

Geto stood upright and rolled his eyes. "I suppose you're right. Satoru has not been in the sharing mood as of late, which is a pity since you're far better than the rest."

"I'm not–" She could barely form a thought, much less a sentence, so flustered over the kiss. Under different circumstances, she might've said that there were butterflies in her stomach, but it felt twisted instead. "I'm not going to be some toy that you and Gojo share! It was bad enough when you wanted me dead." Utahime clenched her hands into fists. "If you think you can just use me like that to piss off Gojo or set him right, think again."

Folding his arms across his chest, Geto tilted his head. "You think you can say no to me?"

"I can," Utahime stated firmly, "and I will." She scoffed. "I'm not going to be some pawn you use to make Gojo jealous or upset so you can get off on it later."

"I told you, Utahime," Geto said. "I'm not playing games with you – and this isn't about Gojo. Can't I be interested in you myself?"

His eyes roved over her, so openly that she burned all over again. Now that was like Gojo. She'd kind of forgotten how good Geto was with girls. Better than Gojo even when they were younger, making him complain that Geto stole whoever he was flirting with that night. Most of the time, he never even spoke to them again. It was just a show of power, a play that always put Gojo in check.

She wasn't going to be one of those girls.

"I think you should leave," Utahime told him shakily. "Please."

Something akin to frustration flashed in Geto's eyes, but no, that couldn't be real. It was fake, just like everything else. Instead, he stepped forward, getting closer to her again, knowing full well that she only had a wall behind her. "You're afraid of Satoru, aren't you? Of his reaction to this."

"I–" Utahime's hands were trembling at her side. She was afraid of everything, and she hated feeling that way too. Afraid of Gojo's jealousy, of Geto's desire, of her falling in line with their wants and forgetting herself and what she believed in. "I don't want to hurt him."

Geto reached out to cup her face. "So loyal and caring." He ran a thumb over her scar, his eyes focused on it. "How did Satoru manage to capture your love, hm?"

"I didn't have much of a choice," Utahime replied quietly. It wasn't a lie. By all accounts, she should have hated Gojo – indeed, she'd sworn that she would after meeting him for the first time when they were kids, even before attending Jujutsu High – and yet she didn't. She'd found herself drawn to him instead, inexplicably, unbidden, unwanted. She did then and she certainly did now, unable to extricate herself from him.

And yet here she was, standing in a dark room with his best friend, his co-conspirator, with him gazing down at her hungrily, like she was one of the curses he swallowed to take as his own.

Utahime swallowed and breathed out, "Geto, please."

He blinked, seemingly remembering himself, and then pulled his hand back, stepping away from her to give her space. "You've...surprised me. I didn't think that was possible." A grimace flickered across his face. "Perhaps I'm a little jealous of what Satoru has with you. We've shared before, yes, but this is different. It's real, and I wanted that too. My apologies for making you uncomfortable."

Now that was the Geto she remembered, the one he showed people to appease them and put them at ease. It didn't work on her, not right now, not with her heart racing in her chest over his words. All she could do was nod, every word sticking in her mouth as her throat constricted. She hadn't thought Geto would ever do something like that, not when he'd been filled with such contempt for her before.

"I'll send Satoru your way," Geto said as he made his way to the door. "It's late, and you should eat something."

Utahime started. "Don't–"

"I won't," Geto cut in, knowing exactly what she was going to say. He turned his head back, and a smile tugged at his lips, not the sheepish one he should've given to keep up that polite act. It was too knowing, and it made her more nervous than anything. "It'll be our little secret."

Unable to come up with a counter, Utahime pressed her lips together and gave Geto a hard look. He turned back around, lifting a hand to wave at her, and then stepped out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. He didn't lock it. After all, where would she go on her own, truly? No Yuta, no Gojo, just herself late at night where anything could happen to her. She stood there for a moment, trying to calm herself, and then kicked the same chair as Hifumi had earlier that day.

As much as she hated to think about it, all she wanted was Gojo. At least he made sense. She couldn't figure out Geto or what he wanted with her, and that made everything so much more unsettling here. Geto might've said he wasn't playing a game with her, but if he wasn't, then what? If this wasn't a game or some ruse, then what was it? And what did that mean? She didn't know, and she was scared to find out.

Chapter 17

Notes:

This is a very dramatic shift from the usual chapters for this fic because *drumroll* it's not in Utahime's POV. In fact, Utahime isn't in this chapter at all, but I couldn't NOT write this scene when it's been replaying in my head for months. And it is an important one, as it'll have lasting effects on the characters and such. So without further ado, to celebrate the Volume 0 trailer, here's a chapter about these two scene-stealers: Yuta and Mai.

Also, to people who can and enjoy writing fight scenes, you are so strong and I admire you. This shit is HARD, and I spent hours going back and forth on this even though I've had it in my head for so long.

Songs for this chapter specifically: "Young and Menace" by Fall Out Boy for Yuta and "I am not a woman, I'm a god" by Halsey for Mai :))))

Chapter Text

Megumi tugged on the collar of his shirt, overly hot in the more traditional clothes. He didn't really enjoy wearing shit like this, but appearances were to be kept up, and certain standards must be met. At any rate, things were already tense as it was, so he had decided against arguing it. In truth, things had been on a razor edge for years, but the snap of wire felt imminent. Everyone knew it – Naoya included, even if he was a bastard – so backtalk was kept to a minimum.

Standing beside him, Maki was silent. She looked the part of a proper Zen'in girl for once, but he knew she had cursed weapons hidden on her person under her clothes. She'd nicked them from the family vault, a piece here and there when no one was paying attention. Aside from the special glasses on her face, they were all she had to protect herself with. The Zen'in clan rarely regarded her, probably hoped she'd be killed off, especially since Mai had…

Well, it wasn't like Maki and Mai were the same person, even if they were twins. Mai had defected; Maki had not. Still, the clan and the higher-ups treated her as if Mai's crime was her own and she had to suffer the punishment for it. In Megumi's opinion, it wasn't a very good strategy to instill loyalty and respect. There was a reason Mai had run away, and it was for the same reason that Maki was currently healing from a black eye.

"Late," Naoya seethed from his seat at the head of a long table. "Do they think we'll just wait on them?"

Yes, Megumi thought, choosing not to speak out loud for once. He stayed silent in his spot in the crowd behind Naoya, nameless in the group of the Hei.

Even if Naoya was the head of the clan, he meant very little to sorcerers like Gojo and Geto. They could make them wait for a day – maybe decide not to come at all and leave them hanging. He was nothing but a cockroach to them, an annoyance that they struggled to get rid of. After all, before he had become the head, it had been his father, Naobito, and Gojo had killed him easily, only for Naoya to take his place.

Sometimes, when Naoya was in a particularly cruel mood, Megumi would wonder why Gojo hadn't killed him too. It wouldn't have been difficult for him.

"Idiot," Maki muttered under his breath, catching the attention of a Hei next to her.

Before the man could say anything or strike her, Megumi gave him a sideways look, and the Hei member turned to look ahead again. Maki was fully capable of taking care of herself – she could've probably snapped that asshat's hand into pieces – but Megumi had found it easier to cut the violence off before it could happen. As the only member of the Zen'in clan to hold the coveted Ten Shadows Technique and to summon his own Domain, Megumi had the power to do that.

It still irritated him. He hadn't wanted anything to do with the Zen'in clan, not really, but Gojo had forced his hand when he turned sides. It was either join sides and gain strength in numbers or die. Fucking bastard. He'd put them all in a shitty position.

For what felt like the thousandth time, Megumi wondered what position Utahime was in now. No doubt Gojo was making her life hell. He'd rather be stuck with Naoya than Gojo right now, and that was saying something.

After another ten minutes passed, a sense of restlessness had settled into the room. No one had been comfortable to begin with – the idea of coming face-to-face with the two sorcerers that had thrown their world into chaos was terrifying at best – but the confusion made things worse. Megumi was starting to wonder if they were actually going to show up or if this was one big joke when the doors opened and a lower member of the Hei slipped into the room to whisper something into Naoya's ear.

It was hard to say what was going on, but the look that came over Naoya's face – shock and then utter rage – was enough to make Megumi raise his eyebrows.

"What do you think?" Maki asked. "Think they're a no-show?"

"What's worse than not meeting with us?" Megumi asked. She shrugged. "Whatever it is, it's that."

He didn't know either, but the bad feeling in his gut grew when Naoya stood up so fast that he knocked his chair to the floor. Someone picked it up for him, but he paid them no mind, the anger on his face so ugly and vicious that some people actually took a step back. Whatever Gojo and Geto had done, it had insulted Naoya to a level that Megumi hadn't seen since they first met. He knew Naoya loathed his existence, only tolerating it because his abilities were necessary to fight, but he wanted Megumi dead.

Naoya looked like that now – like he wanted to murder someone with his bare hands.

That was Gojo in a nutshell. Considering they had grown up together, Naoya should have known that Gojo was nothing short of maddening. Older sorcerers used to tell Megumi was lucky – that he should be grateful that the strongest sorcerer in the world had taken him in after his father had bounced. He hadn't liked it then, and he hated it now.

Plus, not that his father had been great or anything, but it was hard to be grateful to the sorcerer that had killed him in the first place. Megumi wasn't sure Gojo would've told him the truth had he not defected. Perhaps accepting his true, horrible self had made him a more honest human being.

When the doors opened, Megumi stiffened on instinct, prepared to come face-to-face with the man that had defeated him soundly the last time they'd crossed paths. By all means, Gojo should've killed him the same as he'd killed his father, but Gojo had spared him instead. Death might have been kinder, considering the higher-ups had begun to suspect that he might be a traitor or Gojo was interested in recruiting him later down the line.

Instead, when one person walked into the room, Megumi was forced to grab Maki by the arm to keep her from rushing forward, even if his own heart was ready to explode out of his chest. Out of all the people in the world to face the Zen'in clan, he would never have guessed it would be Mai.

"Miss me?" Mai greeted, full of mocking cheer.

The room reacted in an instant, a loud murmur of outrage and confusion coursing through the crowd, but no one made a move, waiting for Naoya's signal, but the head of the Zen'in clan didn't move, glaring her down so viciously that Megumi was surprised she didn't wither away on the spot. A year ago, she wouldn't have even dared look Naoya in the eye, much less face him down so daringly. Megumi might've been impressed if he wasn't also afraid for her life.

Had Gojo and Geto really cared for her so little that they'd thrown her back to the wolves? Pushed her right into the den where she'd no doubt get killed? Naoya had made his ruling on the matter clear. They weren't exactly sure if Mai had survived Ogi's attack, but if she had and she was found or spotted, she was to be brought back. He didn't want her killed on sight, if only because he wanted to kill her himself.

Finally, Naoya lifted a hand, and everyone went silent. "I could be pissed at Gojo and Geto's slight against us, but perhaps they've been kind and given us a gift." An ugly grin cut across Naoya's lips, reminding Megumi of a venomous snake. "I'm almost grateful that Ogi was incompetent enough to not even be able to kill his own pathetic daughter. They must've known I wanted to watch the light die from your eyes."

Mai gave a half-assed bow. "Oh, you know how much I enjoy pleasing you, oh great head of the Zen'in clan."

The grin on Naoya's face twitched. "I see your time with them has made you unruly. It's a good thing they let you out of their cage so I can instill some old lessons into you again."

"As much fun as that sounds," Mai said, waving a dismissive hand, "we're here on business."

By now, Naoya looked practically manic, his grin more feral than ever before. Maki was breathing through her nose, agitated, her eyes locked on her twin sister, but Mai either hadn't noticed her or was purposely refusing to look her way. Megumi would've bet money on the latter. There was something very different about Mai: she stood up straight, relaxed, confident. Most importantly, he took note of the way she met Naoya's glare directly without blinking.

Even if she was afraid, she wasn't showing it.

And that was when Megumi noticed something he hadn't seen immediately: Mai wasn't alone.

Standing behind her from a distance, silent and completely inconspicuous, was a guy that looked to be about the same age. Young, slouched shoulders, dark circles under his blue eyes, pale skin. His hair looked partially done, as if he'd tried to do something with it but its natural messiness came out. Megumi struggled with the same thing. He was wearing a nice outfit, clothes neat and pressed, tie perfectly done, but he didn't appear comfortable.

He kind of looked like a strong gust of wind could blow him over or maybe make him cry, but the hand resting on the hilt of a sword at his side gave Megumi pause.

Gojo had taught him from an early age how to assess a sorcerer's strength. Reading an opponent's curse energy could be the difference between life or death, especially when he'd been younger and less experienced. Sorcerers with curse energy like Gojo and Geto were impossible to read, if only because they had too much, whereas Mai only had a little and Maki's was so small that it barely even registered.

As he looked over the two of them, Megumi could tell that Mai's curse energy level was higher than before. It wasn't that of a grade one sorcerer, paling in comparison to the aura that surrounded Naoya and many of the members of the Hei, but it was stronger, maybe a grade three. That wasn't as surprising as one might've thought. Gojo had been a good teacher in his own unconventional way, and Geto was charismatic and came off as caring towards his followers. As long as she didn't mind their goals and beliefs, she'd probably flourished under them.

The boy behind her was more troubling. Megumi couldn't get a read on him. He was definitely a sorcerer – or, well, a curse user – but his energy flickered too much. It was difficult, coming out in bursts and then dying out, like a flame on a candlestick, almost like he was purposely trying to suppress it. But that made little sense. In the face of so many strong sorcerers, he should've done his best to come off as strong as possible.

"Business, you say," Naoya repeated. "Where are Gojo and Geto?"

"Not here," Mai replied without missing a beat. "You get to speak with us instead. We're their representatives in this matter."

"I'm not here to speak with a pathetic, worthless bitch," Naoya snapped. "I'm the leader of the Zen'in clan. I'm not some commoner with my hands outstretched. If they're serious about coming to terms, they can come here themselves."

Mai folded her hands in front of herself. "I'm afraid they're very busy. Conquering countries, engaging in world politics, corralling curses, the genocide of non-sorcerer humans. You know the drill. The Kamo clan received a representative as well, so don't worry, you weren't treated unfairly."

"What is she thinking?" Maki hissed under her breath. "Naoya is going to kill her."

He certainly looked like it, but Megumi could tell he was holding himself back. As arrogant and callous as he was, Naoya was calculating as well. He'd been able to snag the position as the head of the Zen'in clan after his father's murder despite all the turmoil, and he had wrangled them all in order, essentially becoming one of the higher-ups in one fell swoop. While he might have wanted to murder Mai on the spot, he knew there was more going on here.

This was a test. Gojo loved testing people on the spot.

"Think of me as a proxy for them," Mai continued. "I speak for them, so anything you say to me will be as if you're saying it to them."

The implication was obvious. It wasn't just about words. Whatever Naoya did to Mai would be seen as a reflection of what he would do to them. Insults, an outright attack – if Naoya tried to hurt her, it would be seen as an attack against Gojo and Geto. It put Naoya in between a rock and a hard place. They had to have known that Naoya would want to hurt her – probably even saw it as his right, seeing as how she was a Zen'in and had betrayed them. Even without being here, they were forcing him into a corner.

Smart as he was, Naoya would not handle that well. They were attacking his pride specifically.

"You're not them," Naoya insisted. "I can wait until they're ready to talk."

Mai smiled. "They are ready."

"No, they're playing a fucking game, is what they're doing," Naoya snapped, "and I'm not here to play games. You can tell them that." He folded his arms across his chest. "If they want to negotiate terms of either a truce or something more, they can come here and discuss it with me themselves. I refuse to do anything else. I'm not going to hash out details with someone as weak as you. Until I meet with someone worthy, we're done here."

Letting out a sigh, Mai shook her head. "I warned them you wouldn't work with me. You're too prideful. I don't think you could work with them either at this point."

"Care to elaborate?" Naoya demanded.

"Well, if you're too arrogant and difficult to work with, they'll probably have to find someone else."

Naoya tensed. "Is that a threat?"

Mai shrugged. "Just an observation." Her eyes finally moved away from Naoya, landing on Megumi and catching him on guard. Her gaze flickered back to Naoya before Megumi could say anything, but Naoya saw it clear as day. "You don't have the Zen'in Ten Shadows Technique, after all, and there was that rumor about you not being listed as Naobito's heir in his will…"

"That's a fucking lie," Naoya snapped. "You'll do well to keep your mouth shut."

"Personally, I don't think you'd be able to handle working under Gojo and Geto," Mai continued, as if Naoya hadn't just threatened her. Maki was growing tenser by the second, her concern bleeding into frustration. She hadn't been able to protect Mai back then, and she couldn't now. "Gojo didn't think so either – he said you're too much of a spoiled brat to be able to listen – but Geto thinks you might have some... potential ."

She said the word with such disdain, her eyes flickering up and down him in a way very reminiscent of how he behaved, that Maki sucked in a breath of air. Megumi could've laughed, but all he could do was stare in shock. This was not the Mai he remembered. She had never acted like this around her family before. He wouldn't have said she cowered in fear, but she would have never dared to act so belligerently.

Maki wasn't wrong for being concerned. While Megumi did not fear Naoya, this was terrifying. He couldn't understand how she could be so bold now.

"You speak for Gojo, yeah?" Megumi called out.

Naoya shot him a dirty look. "Were you given permission to speak, Fushiguro?"

Mai glanced back at him, outright ignoring both Maki at his side and Naoya in front of her. "I do."

"Utahime," Megumi said. "I want to know how Utahime is doing. Is she–?"

"She's alive, if that's what you're wondering," Mai cut in. It didn't make Megumi feel any better. Alive could mean all sorts of things. She could be tortured, injured, or worse, so much worse. She had a history with Gojo. Megumi knew that better than the other students, the ones that hadn't grown up with Gojo as a guardian of sorts and Utahime showing up here and there to help.

He'd been a kid, but he'd noticed when Gojo started growing more distant. The colder Gojo became, the more Utahime came around. It hadn't been just for him and Tsumiki. They tried to keep their arguing to a minimum, but Megumi had woken up to their spats more than once, the concern bleeding through the anger in her voice, the harshness of Gojo's that made him wince. She had been the one to tell him when Gojo committed mass murder and left them all for Geto.

She'd still had blood in her hair, although she hadn't realized it.

"Is she…?" Megumi swallowed. "Is she okay though?"

Mai tilted her head. "What do you think?"

"I think Gojo had ulterior motives when he took her," Megumi replied.

"She went with him of her own accord."

"No," Megumi snapped. "She wouldn't do that."

Utahime wouldn't have left her students – not without reason. They all knew what Gojo was capable of, but Utahime was the only one who had been there to witness his breaking point. Or rather, she was the only survivor, the only one left behind. Gojo had spared her alone, but it had to be for a reason when he'd killed so many others without batting an eye, even sorcerers that he'd worked alongside with for years. If she thought going with him would save others, Gojo would be able to manipulate that.

Her compassion was considered something of a flaw, but it made her an excellent teacher too. All her students knew they could go to her, and she would do everything in her power to help them. He knew Nobara went to her for the nightmares, Utahime's cursed technique causing the memories of her destroyed village and all the dead bodies to fade away. She'd picked up sign language to communicate better with Inumaki, who had gone silent after his parents' deaths. She had even stepped in between the Kamo clan for Noritoshi and the Zen'ins for Maki and Megumi.

It had not been without their costs. Gojo would know that too.

"Honestly, I don't know whether to envy or pity her," Mai said, a playful smile at her lips. "Gojo is keeping her very busy. Actually, now that I think about it, so is Geto. It must be exhausting to be in between two of the most powerful sorcerers in jujutsu history."

Megumi furrowed his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Iori is their little whore," Naoya drawled, tossing him a lazy look. "She finally figured out what she's good for – spreading her legs and opening her mouth when she's told. Maybe she'll pop out an heir or two for them." He shrugged carelessly, ignoring the matching furious expressions on Megumi's and Maki's faces. "It's a shame she had to turn traitor to figure that out, but she was always weak."

"Please," Mai scoffed, rolling her eyes, "you wouldn't have been able to satisfy her – and I'd say she's doing a lot better than some whiny upjumped brat."

"Watch your tongue," Naoya snapped. "You're probably whoring yourself out to them too – gotta earn your keep somehow. It's not like they have any other need for you."

Mai could've reacted angrily – she could've been humiliated by Naoya's assumptions – but instead, she stood very still. What Megumi noticed the most, however, was the slight way she held out her hand at her side, her palm facing behind and her fingers spread out. Like she was telling someone to stop, warning someone to wait.

The boy behind her. It was just a flicker, but for a moment, there was a massive flash of curse energy around him, so fast that Megumi wasn't even sure he'd seen it. The boy shifted on his feet, but the grip on the hilt of his sword had tightened, the look in his eyes more dead and cold than ever. They even looked bluer, reminding Megumi distantly of Gojo. Something cold and dark swept over Megumi, nearly making him shiver.

He wasn't the only one, others in the room squirming in discomfort, even Maki stiffening.

For the first time, Naoya seemed to take notice of the boy standing sullenly behind Mai. "Who's that? Your guard dog?"

"Oh, Yuta?" Mai cast the boy a fond smile over her shoulder, making Maki raise her eyebrows. As far as Megumi knew, he'd never seen Mai look at anyone like that, not even her twin sister. She'd always been too guarded to allow such vulnerability to bleed through. "Yeah, he is. He sits when I tell him to sit, speaks when I tell him to speak." She grinned back viciously at Naoya. "And his bite is far worse than his bark."

Naoya looked at the boy, Yuta, unimpressed and bored, who returned the expression without blinking. "That sad-looking thing? He looks more pathetic than you."

Megumi frowned, the hair on the back of his neck raised. "Something's wrong."

"You feel it too then," Maki muttered, her eyes locked on Mai and Yuta.

"The only one pathetic here is you," Mai shot back haughtily. "I told Geto this would be a waste of time. You're too weak to get over your own ego. They'd be better off just killing you." She laughed to herself. "You know what? Maybe that's what I'll tell them – my official report – that they can do the world a favor by getting rid of you and wiping the Zen'in clan off the map."

Fury flashed across Naoya's face, and he stepped forward. "Say that again."

"Gojo and Geto will be better off squashing like a bug under their feet," Mai retorted. "A weak, whiney, worthless bug that they can scrape off their shoes. It's no wonder Utahime agreed to leave with Gojo. She probably was sick of your shit and wanted to get away from you." She laughed to herself and held out her hands. "Sorry, maybe I wasn't the best representative to send, but I just had to see the look on your face when you realized that you're worth nothing ."

Megumi saw the second Naoya snapped, finally pushed over the edge by Mai's goading. She had to have known it would happen – she'd had to know that every word that fell from her lips was a death sentence – and yet she'd continued until there was nowhere else to go. Naoya's technique was quicker than the eye, and Megumi barely had time to blink, much less react, before Naoya attacked Mai in a flash, no doubt with the intent to snatch her by the throat and pin her down.

But he didn't reach Mai. Instead of his palm connecting with Mai's chest in a hit that would've surely broken a few ribs, Naoya's hand collided into a wall that suddenly appeared in front of Mai.

No, not a wall – a massive, pale hand with black nails as sharp and long as swords.

Megumi's eyes widened as the most powerful wave of dread swept over him, freezing him on the spot. "A curse – it's a cursed spirit."

Not even Maki was capable of moving, her knees shaking in a way he'd never seen before. "Ma-Mai!"

But instead of being terrified of the fact that an insanely large curse had its hand wrapped around her, Mai stood perfectly still, that same vicious grin on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I introduced everyone." The curse's fingers spread just enough so Mai could look Naoya in the eyes. "What's wrong, Naoya? You look perturbed."

Naoya gritted his teeth. "What is–?"

He couldn't finish his sentence, not with a knife suddenly pressed against his neck. Megumi blinked in shock. So focused on the curse's hand that looked as if it'd appeared through a tear in space, he hadn't even seen Yuta move from behind Mai. In a flash, he was poised behind Naoya, a small knife in his hand, that dead look still in his blue eyes.

Megumi was drenched in the coldest, darkest feeling he'd ever experienced, and he knew in that moment that they'd been played from the very beginning. Curse energy burned from Yuta almost blindingly, but there were moments when it flickered stronger. That sickening feeling of a curse's spirit energy was already powerful, permeating the room so strongly that it made Megumi want to gag, but as the curse pushed itself further into sight, it only became worse. Even stranger, he honestly couldn't tell where it was coming from: the curse itself or Yuta.

"What do you say, Megumi?" Mai called out. "Wanna become the head of the Zen'in clan? I know you two have had your differences, but Gojo would much prefer to work with you."

"You wouldn't dare," Naoya seethed. The sweat on his forehead was undeniable. Trapped between the curse and Yuta, it must've been damn near overwhelming. Megumi could barely handle it from where he was standing at a distance, and half the Hei looked like they might get sick. "Tell your dog to stand down."

Mai lifted a hand to her lips and giggled. "It's cute," she said mockingly, throwing old words back in his face, "that you think you have any say in this."

Naoya growled. "Mai–"

"You can come out, Rika," Mai said, running a hand over one of the curse's fingers. "What do you say, Yuta? Do you think she wants to play?"

Yuta didn't speak, didn't blink, the knife's edge still pressed dangerously against Naoya's throat. He simply nodded his head, and then the curse pushed its body through that rip in space, filling up the tall room. Everyone reacted instantly, startling backward to get as far away as possible. Even Megumi reached out to grab Maki and pull her back, knowing she'd want to rush toward her sister.

The curse was huge, far too big to fit in the room. If it had come out entirely, the roof of the building would've surely been destroyed, but the massive monster seemed aware enough not to do that. With one hand still wrapped (protectively) around Mai, its other slammed on the ground, cracking the floor, and it let out an ear-splitting shriek when its ugly head appeared. Megumi had to slap his hands over his ears and crouched instinctively as if that would save him somehow.

"What the fuck is this?" Naoya demanded.

"My curse," Yuta said, speaking for the first time. The flatness of his voice rattled Megumi. It wasn't right.

Naoya glared at him out of the corners of his eyes. "You freak of nature – you should've been put down a long time ago."

Yuta shrugged. "Maybe." The knife twisted, just enough to knick Naoya's skin. "But the same goes for you."

"Do you get it now, Naoya?" Mai asked pleasantly. "You think you have power? You think you have strength?" She laughed. "You have nothing. You know nothing. If you think that Gojo and Geto alone are what stand in between you and victory, then you're a fool, and everyone would do well to remember that. They've amassed power unlike any other, and if you want to work with them – if you want to survive – you'll have to learn to respect that without question."

"I'm not going to get on my knees for them like you did," Naoya snapped.

Mai sighed and lifted a hand. "What a disappointment."

Right as Mai made a cutting gesture, a burst of energy nearly knocked Megumi off his feet. Before Yuta could cut Naoya's throat or he could retaliate with an outreached palm from behind, Maki jumped into action. Yuta was forced to pull away from Naoya, blocking Maki's sword with the knife. It should've shattered from the strength of Maki's hit and the size difference between the weapons, but it remained strong, although Yuta was shoved back a few meters, his feet skidding on the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" Naoya demanded.

"For some stupid reason, trying to prevent your death so our clan doesn't dissolve into another power struggle," Maki snapped back, breathing heavily from the sudden action. She stared down Yuta, who faced her in return, a little surprised but not angry. Megumi could understand why. Maki's strength wasn't natural. He would've been able to see how little curse energy she had, but her attack had almost blown him off his feet. Likewise, Maki must've been surprised that he hadn't taken more damage, but his curse energy shielded him.

Even if he was physically weak, his massive amount of curse energy bolstered him and gave him strength far beyond normal human means. They were complete opposites.

"Oh," Yuta said, sounding vaguely surprised. "You're really strong."

Mai let out a huff. "You're really going to protect this bastard, Maki? Maybe you're the one on your knees."

Maki glanced at her twin, anger burning in her eyes. "Mai–"

But it was a mistake, and Megumi could only yell, "Maki!" before Yuta attacked her, sweeping under her sword to jam her in the gut with his elbow, sending her crashing into a group of Hei members.

Chaos broke out instantly. With so many sorcerers in the room, the level of curse energy was almost choking, but Megumi summoned his frog shikigami in order to pluck Maki off the ground before Yuta could hit her again. His blow hit the ground instead, his curse energy shattering the concrete like glass. He easily parried a handful of sorcerers with the knife, slicing the chest of the last guy and kicking him into a group of others. The knife flipped in his hand, and he sheathed it before unsheathing the katana at his side.

The way Yuta held the katana set Megumi on edge. At ease, light, at his side so the tip barely hung over the floor. It wasn't just a weapon in his hand.

His eyes roamed the room, picking through the crowd until finally they landed on Megumi. He pointed at him with the sword. "You're the Shikigami user, right?"

Megumi forced himself to stretch out his hands and keep them from clenching into fists. "Yeah."

"Rika!" Yuta called out to the curse without looking back. "Don't hurt him."

"The others?" the curse responded, strangely aware.

Yuta shrugged, dropping the sword back to his side. "You know Gojo's orders. Just make sure Mai is safe first."

Before Megumi could even begin to comprehend what was going on or why he had been singled out in such a way – why he was being protected despite being the enemy – the curse attacked, and the Hei responded, fighting back as best as they could using their combined curse energy and techniques. Megumi managed to summon Nue to escape the attacks, Maki grabbing onto a leg so she could drop back onto the floor. She moved to attack Yuta, who blocked her once more and swept out of the way before Naoya could cut him down from the other side.

Megumi would've laughed in anyone's face if they said that Maki and Naoya would work together, but times like these didn't leave them much of a choice. Gojo and Geto had forced them into positions where they were forced to work with people they loathed, lest they wanted to die. Yuta just barely avoided getting touched by Naoya, spinning around Maki and striking her in the back with the heel of his hand, but it wasn't the restraint that caught Megumi's attention so much as the attack itself.

Especially when a frame of Maki appeared, and she was frozen on the spot, which allowed Yuta to strike her again, sending her across the room. The sword slipped from her hand and clattered on the ground as her body rolled on the floor, only stopping when it collided with the wall. Naoya stiffened in surprise, and even Megumi stared in shock after dropping to the ground off Nue's back.

That… That had been Naoya's technique?

Yuta peered at his hand. "That's difficult to manage."

Megumi took a step back. "Did he just–?"

"Yours is difficult to manage too," Yuta sighed, glancing back at him briefly and making Megumi freeze. "But I think–" He snatched a Hei member that tried to rush him by the throat and pinned him on the ground in one fluid movement. "A simple technique, as expected, practically useless. The majority of sorcerers here barely have an innate technique of their own. I wish the Inumaki clan leader was here too. That would've made things simple." He made a face. "Gojo would say it wouldn't be as fun though."

He wasn't wrong. Megumi could hear it now. That playful lilt to his tone, the grin on his face, a little teasing as he said that winning by simply commanding people what to do wouldn't be nearly as fun. Yuta knew Gojo well.

"Fushiguro," Naoya snapped. "Be useful for once."

Megumi gritted his teeth, but he didn't argue. Taking orders from Naoya was not in his strong suit, but he knew that Yuta needed to be taken down if they were going to survive. With so much of the Hei overwhelmed by the massive cursed spirit, they had to focus on the boy to who it was tied to. If they couldn't take down Rika directly, then perhaps they could take her down through him.

However, it was a fight unlike anything Megumi had ever experienced. Even with Maki back on her feet, Yuta was able to counter them three to one. He was faster than both Maki and Megumi and learned quickly how to evade Naoya, using his own technique against them, jumping out of the way at the last second so that Naoyo and Megumi crashed into each other when Naoya was forced to abide by the rules of his own technique and land on a predetermined spot. His movements were fluid, his feet quick and hands quicker, using the single katana to parry with Maki's sword and the hanbo Megumi had pulled from his shadow collection.

When another member of the Hei tried to jump in, Yuta cut them down quickly, blood splattering across the front of his vest and the floor. He'd switched from defensive to offensive so abruptly that Megumi was left to wonder if he was even trying his hardest with them. Naoya finally managed to land a hit on Yuta, throwing him into a wall so hard it cracked, but instead of freezing like most would, he was able to keep up with the complicated twenty-four frame rule, ending with his katana clashing with Maki's sword.

Yuta shoved his katana upward, throwing Maki back, and then held it outstretched, surrounding the weapon with a thick layer of curse energy. When he attacked her again, getting in close, he clashed with her twice before striking her hard and shattering the sword in her hands and knocking her down to one knee. Megumi had never seen anyone beat Maki in a physical fight, but Yuta's curse energy was too much. He used it like a weight, to the point where one hit felt like twenty.

Taking a step back, Megumi quickly summoned another shikigami. A large black liquid pool stretched out across the floor, and the Great Serpent burst from the shadows. Its sudden appearance caught Yuta off guard, and he was barely able to dodge the shikigami's first attack, throwing himself to the side and rolling back onto his feet with little time to defend himself from the Serpent's tail. It threw him across the room, knocking him off his feet, and Megumi watched as he struggled to push himself back up after the blow, the katana a few feet away from him on the ground.

Before he could fully stand up, the Serpent attacked again, snapping down on him, but Megumi was stunned when Yuta managed to grasp onto the fangs at the last second to keep the Serpent from closing its mouth around him entirely. His entire body was trembling from the effort, one foot pressing into the bottom of the Serpent's mouth while using the fangs to push up, but even with a massive burst of curse energy, his grasp was slipping. He lacked the physical strength to keep it up for long.

"YUTA!"

The roar was deafening, stopping everyone in their tracks, and Megumi could only watch in a mixture of shock and horror as Yuta's giant curse snatched the Serpent by the middle with one of its clawed hands. The Serpent shikigami let go of Yuta in order to shriek in pain as Rika clawed at its skin, the curse overwhelmed with rage. It was different from the way Megumi's shikigami protected him on command. Yuta didn't have control over this curse. It protected him and fought because it wanted to – because he was hers as much as she was his.

People were forced to dispel as the Serpent flailed wildly in Rika's hand, its tail crashing into the wall. The space was big but not big enough for two large curses. The Serpent twisted its head around and bit down on Rika's side, causing the curse to scream. It threw the Serpent aside, but before the Serpent could attack again, there was a blinding flash of curse energy, the aftershock so strong that it forced both Megumi and Naoya to skid back.

When Megumi dropped his arm, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. The Great Serpent's head toppled off, crashing to the ground, its headless body swaying for a moment before it began to dissolve into liquid shadows. Some part of Megumi felt as if it died as he watched his largest and strongest shikigami die, exorcised, killed, ripped away from him for good.

Watching the Serpent's head melt with little more than apathy was Yuta, the katana back in his hand, even more curse energy surrounding him than before. "Thanks, Rika," he said, reaching up to touch the curse's face without looking back at it. "I couldn't hold on much longer."

Megumi stared at him, the terrifying sensation of Yuta's curse energy making him feel sick. He'd felt something like this before. It felt just like Gojo and Geto – except worse, so much worse. Something was very wrong, but it had taken him too long to figure out what it was.

A shout ripped Megumi out of thoughts, and he jerked around to see Jinichi leaping into the frey, powering up his innate technique to attack Yuta with all his strength. At the same time, Maki and Naoya came at him from opposite sides, the three sorcerers surrounding him. But when Megumi looked back at Yuta, his heart stopped.

It was small, a simple hand gesture that very few people would recognize but one that Megumi was familiar with. An outstretched hand, palm up, fingers barely curled inward. Most wouldn't know it because no one survived the attack. Utahime would recognize it. She'd witnessed Gojo use the same gesture right before he unleashed Hollow Purple to destroy the building housing the higher-ups.

The same destruction that had nearly taken out an entire city the day Mai vanished during a horrific clash with curse users on Geto and Gojo's side.

"Jinichi, stop!" Megumi yelled in panic. "We have to stand down!"

"Who are you to give commands?" Naoya snapped. "We have to overwhelm him–"

"We can't! He's–" Megumi swallowed, connecting eyes with Yuta briefly. They looked bluer than they had before – like Gojo's. He hadn't just been trained by Gojo. He was like him too. Special grade. "It's him, the curse user that defeated Todo and the others, the one that killed Ogi."

Naoya clenched his hands into fists. "Gojo sent him? Seriously? His sense of humor is shit."

Yuta didn't blink, holding the attack at bay, his curse energy ready to burn through the room. "He deserved a worse death than what I gave him."

"We didn't know his name, but–" Megumi gritted his teeth. "He matches Todo's description – a curse user that wields a sword and can copy techniques."

"Ah," Yuta said, as if something had just occurred to him. "He's the sorcerer that broke my sword, right? Geto was displeased by that."

He spoke so casually about it that Megumi had to fight back a shudder. It had been officially labeled as a terrorist attack, but it had been a fight that spanned across the entire city, laying waste to half of it. A lot of people had died, most of them civilians caught in the middle. Inumaki had done his best to get everyone out of harm's way, nearly getting killed in the process when a building collapsed around him. The reports had been confusing. With so much damage done and powerful sorcerers on their side taken out, either Gojo or Geto were expected to have been there, but no one had seen them anywhere. They hadn't thought anyone else would be capable of such destruction.

But they were wrong: this boy was just as dangerous, a nightmarish mixture of Gojo and Geto with his seemingly unlimited curse energy and connection with a powerful curse.

"So what do we do?" Jinichi asked, holding himself back, fist still poised to attack.

"Well, you said you wouldn't talk with anyone other than Gojo and Geto," Maki said tensely, her knuckles white around the pole of a spear she'd picked up from a fallen Hei member. "It appears they sent someone else that fits the bill."

A click from behind Naoya made him stiffen, and Megumi tore his eyes away from Yuta to find Mai holding a gun to the back of his head. As fast as he was, he wouldn't have been able to bodge a bullet at that range. Mai's finger hung over the trigger. It would've taken nothing for her to pull it and end the life of a man that had tortured her for years.

"I'd love to just get you out of the way now," Mai told him, "but that's not what we're here for."

"Oh really?" Naoya countered. "That's not what it looks like."

Mai shrugged. "You attacked first. We just defended ourselves."

"You call this self-defense?" Jinichi demanded, gesturing to the destruction around them. Only a few members of the Hei were still standing, the majority of them having been taken out. It was a devastating blow to the Zen'in clan. They had the highest number of grade one sorcerers working under them, but now half of them were severely injured or worse.

"No one's dead – or, well, no one was purposely killed," Mai insisted. "We had orders to play nice, and Yuta is a good boy. He always listens. You could stand to learn a lesson or two from him, and maybe you will if all goes well. If Gojo and Geto are willing to look past your flaws, you might be worth something."

There was something deeply terrifying and unsettling about a person with as much power and abilities as Yuta always doing what he was told. If Gojo had ordered him to kill them all, he likely would've done it without hesitation. He was a good boy that would murder on command, lay waste to cities, allow his curse to swallow people whole. It was brutal and cold, but that was what Gojo and Geto did to people. Megumi could remember thinking that Gojo was the only one at the top and almost following him blindly even when the man was frustrating. Did Yuta not have any feelings or thoughts of his own? Was he just their puppet too?

"You can stop, Yuta," Mai said.

In an instant, Yuta dropped his hand and allowed his curse energy to fade, taking that dark and sickening feeling with it. He patted the curse gently, murmuring something to it too low for Megumi to hear, and then the curse grew smaller and slipped back into a tear in space. As soon as the curse was gone, Megumi found himself able to breathe easier again, but he refused to let his guard down. That had been a mistake. They'd let themselves get fooled by Mai's reappearance.

"You're not human," Naoya said. "You're more of a monster, aren't you?"

Yuta wrinkled his nose, like he'd seen a bug. "You're one to talk. I still think we should just kill you."

Mai giggled at the perturbed look on Naoya's face, still holding the gun to his head. "Now that you've thrown your tantrum, are you ready to talk?"

Naoya gritted his teeth, but he didn't throw some snide retort back in her face this time. Maki and Megumi glanced at each other before Maki returned her attention to her sister. Mai was different. She'd grown in a way that Megumi hadn't thought possible. That was obviously a sign of Gojo as well. He was good at that, helping people find their confidence and become better and stronger versions of themselves alongside bringing people to their knees and destroying everything in his wake. It showed in both Mai and Yuta – two very different reflections of what Megumi knew of Gojo.

"I can't kill you just yet, Megumi, not when you've still got so much more room to grow."

Megumi's stomach turned, and he had to clench his hands to keep them from shaking. He thought about Gojo's words constantly, turning them in his head over and over again. Had he taken Gojo up on his offer to join him, would he have become like Yuta, powerful beyond all means but a weapon meant for nothing more than destruction? It was impossible to get rid of Gojo entirely, difficult to shake the impression he'd left on Megumi's life. Gojo would always be a shadow standing over him, no matter what, as a savior or a villain. The world had apparently changed when Gojo was born, and it had shifted into a nightmare when he turned his back on jujutsu society.

Some small, terrible, shameful part of Megumi wondered if he was right – if things had to be broken in order to be repaired – but the means were too horrific to justify whatever end they wanted.

"Let's talk then," Naoya said, clearly pissed about it.

Mai pulled the gun away from his head. "Good boy."

Naoya grunted in irritation, turning around to face his little cousin and smooth down his clothes, a glare in his eyes. He nodded to the others, and everyone stood down, dropping their weapons and fists. Even Yuta tossed the katana aside, no longer having any use of it.

Still, Megumi could only hold his breath. No, this was not going to go well, but it was a start. He didn't know to what end, especially since he didn't want to side with Gojo. Naoya might not give a shit about non-sorcerers, so if he was able to put his pride aside for once, the Zen'in clan would follow him. After that, well… Megumi knew where that would put him – out in the cold again, back to where he'd fallen after Gojo left, after his father was killed and Tsumiki's mom ran off.

Gojo hadn't been wrong though: Megumi still had more room to grow, and he would before they met again.

Chapter 18

Notes:

This scene got too long after more characters were introduced, but that's okay because the next chapter is gonna be long as hell with a lot of GojoHime - and the reason for this fic's rating. Until then, happy four days until the release of the JJK 0 movie, here's a scene that shows just how much Gojo and Geto are fucking up Yuta's life. lmao

Chapter Text

To say that Utahime was nervous would've been an understatement. She hadn't felt this anxious since Gojo had first brought her here and locked her away, not knowing if she would live to see another sunrise or if he would let her out to see one again. So much had happened since then. Honestly, she'd lost track of time, not sure how long she'd been here, but it had been long enough that her life outside of here was starting to feel unreal. She couldn't lose sight of that, however. This place painted a pretty picture, but that was all it was.

Outside of this picturesque forest was a nightmare, one that Gojo and Geto had created. She couldn't allow herself to forget that, no matter how hard Gojo tried.

She felt that more acutely now while she waited for Yuta and Mai's return. They'd received a call during dinner last night from Mai that negotiations with the Zen'in were in the beginning process, although not without a few bumps in the road. Gojo hadn't elaborated much on that, taking the call alone in Geto's office to hash out the details, but he had reassured Utahime that Yuta and Mai were fine and no one, as far as they knew, had been killed.

Well then. There was that. Such high standards.

Utahime had tried to sleep that night, but alone with her thoughts, she only managed to scrape by with a few restless hours. Not only was she worried about Yuta and Mai and what those "bumps" might've entailed, but she couldn't shake Geto's kiss from her mind. It irritated her. Dealing with Gojo and his demanding nature was hard enough, but she didn't know how to handle Geto. In that respect, Gojo was easy to understand, but she couldn't wrap her head around Geto.

It had to be just a means to get back at Gojo. After all, Geto had never shown interest in her before, and he certainly hadn't been pleased by her arrival here. He'd wanted her dead. Now he wanted her? No, she didn't believe it. He and Gojo had shared before, plenty of times probably, and it had always been some sort of game between them. She'd seen it when they were younger, scoffed at them over it – how the two boys could pick a girl out of a crowd and have their fun. She had never expected to be in that position herself.

Even worse, she hated the guilt that came with the kiss – the shame and embarrassment that she couldn't get over. After having a moment to herself in the classroom, she'd cleaned up and waited for Gojo to show up. He'd been a little perturbed by having been told by Geto to go see her, questioning why Geto had been the one to fetch him, but she couldn't tell him the truth. Apparently, Geto had stayed true to his word and hadn't said anything either.

Unfortunately, Utahime wasn't good about keeping secrets. Mei Mei used to tease that Utahime was an open book whenever she got drunk, spilling everything with a loose tongue. She hadn't had anything to drink aside from a glass of wine here and there since Gojo had taken her, but this didn't feel like something she could keep a secret for long. The entire dinner with Gojo, she had warred with herself whether to tell him or not. Maybe it would do some good – cause some division between them, a wedge she could drive in deeper. It was what Yuki would've done. She was crafty like that, intelligent and beautiful. She would've used this to her advantage.

But Utahime wasn't Yuki. She could be careful and even clever, but she couldn't compete with Geto and Gojo. Admitting any weakness was hard, but owning up to them had kept her alive this long in a brutal world.

Either way, she had a feeling that she would be the one to pay the price for being weak.

She was in the middle of pretending to write a lesson plan, scratching a pen along the paper while Hifumi and Jiro pretended to be doing their work, when a knock on the door snapped them all out of their daydreams. Utahime stood from the desk, giving the kids a pointed look that let them know she was onto them, and then walked over to the door. A part of her was worried that it was Geto again, come to see her once more, knowing she would be unable to fully resist him or snap back in front of the children.

She was a little surprised to find Gojo instead.

"Is…everything okay?" Utahime asked, not sure what else to say.

Gojo rocked on his feet, hands folded behind his back, a little smile on his lips. "Thought you'd want to know that Yuta and Mai returned just now."

Utahime's heart shot into her throat, frozen in place even as Hifumi jumped to her feet and exclaimed, "Yuta's back?"

Her and Jiro's curses immediately began to chitter excitedly with each other, almost intelligible words bleeding through. They were getting smarter too. Sometimes, Utahime wondered if perhaps she was teaching them too, but she tried not to think about it too much, the idea too uncomfortable and strange.

"Did you want to see them?" Gojo prompted.

"I–" Utahime glanced back at Hifumi and Jiro, her eyes flickering to the curses that were still hiding under the desks. As excited as they were about Yuta – and by extension, Rika – they were too wary of Gojo to fully show themselves. He was different from Geto, who was familiar with curses and comfortable around them. Gojo's entire aura was a threat to curses, and although he had never threatened them, they kept their distance from him. Hifumi and Jiro seemed to prefer Geto these days as well. "Yes, but I can't leave…"

The twins looked at each other, Jiro leaning over to pat his curse.

When Hifumi broke eye contact with her brother, she stood upright and declared, "We can stay here. We'll be good."

"I appreciate that," Utahime said, "but I can't leave you all unattended."

"We'll go to the big class." Jiro bit his lip. "Until you get back."

Utahime opened her mouth, but she struggled to find the words. They'd just had that huge blow-up when she tried to incorporate them back in the classroom a few days ago – and that was with her also in the room. How could she possibly expect them to handle it without her?

"Until I get back," Utahime promised. "Maybe, if Yuta isn't busy, he can come back with me, and we can go outside."

"We wanna see Rika," Hifumi insisted.

"You can ask him," Utahime said, which seemed to settle both kids down.

She was still nervous, Gojo stepping aside so she could shuffle the kids and their curses into the main classroom. While she hastily spoke with the teacher and explained the situation as best as she could, Gojo stood at the door politely, although she saw him slipping a few kids a piece of candy with a wink. Even Hifumi took one, eyeing him sideways as she bit down on the hard candy to test it out. She told them to be good, stating that she would check with the teacher when she returned, and then followed Gojo out of the classroom, her heart thundering in her chest.

"No need to be so worked up," Gojo told her as they walked. "They're okay."

Utahime side-eyed him. "And everything went well?"

Gojo gave her another smile. "I suppose we'll see in time."

It wasn't an answer, not that she had really been expecting one. Gojo had promised to explain things to her in time, but the time would depend on him. More than likely, none of them would know for a while. If the Zen'in clan agreed to their terms or not, only time would tell. They could even agree with the intentions to backstab later. In truth, while Naoya was the head and many would listen to him, not all would be so willing. It would take a lot of conversing. Gojo and Geto would need to speak with them eventually, and it would take even more time for things to settle.

This was all so complicated. It gave Utahime a headache just thinking about politics. Nanami used to say it was best to just stay out of them – focus on the kids, focus on staying alive, focus on the job and then breathe for a moment in between. Even when the higher-ups tried to drag him into things, he was more apt to stonewall them, not giving them what they wanted. Yuki was much the same, but due to her status as a special grade sorcerer and being a woman, she was more often at odds with them despite being on the same side.

When Utahime had once asked why Yuki hadn't switched to Geto and Gojo's side, she'd simply snorted and said, "I don't like being misunderstood."

That hadn't been much of an answer either.

Upon reaching the room where that disastrous dinner had been held, Gojo opened the door for her, letting her quietly step inside first. The moment her eyes landed on Yuta and Mai sitting at the table, relief blossomed in her chest. On top of them being alive and safe, they weren't alone either, two other girls their age sitting at the table with them, one on each side of Yuta with Mai sitting across from him. She seemed to be watching him eat more than eating herself, quiet while the two other girls chatted excitedly. The girls, from what Utahime remembered, were in one of the older classes, although they had looked to be separate from the others. So not much different from Hifumi and Jiro, she supposed.

"–wish we could've been there too," the dark-haired girl was gushing. "I bet it was so much fun."

Yuta shook his head and said, "Not really," before shoving some more food into his mouth.

"Kill anyone?" the light-haired girl asked.

Swallowing down the food, Yuta managed to choke out, "Uh no – at least, not that I know of."

"You and Rika did a lot of damage to the Hei," Mai said, sounding rather wistful. "One or two might croak in the end if they weren't treated quickly." He furrowed his brow, looking perturbed by the thought, while the twin girls giggled. "He was given specific orders not to kill, so no intentional deaths."

"A shame," the first one said.

"An absolute tragedy," the second agreed, spinning a cell phone around on the table top. "But I bet you wanted to kill them, right? Especially that bratty head of the clan. Didn't you?"

Yuta didn't respond, slowly chewing on his food as he thought over her words. Utahime's heart skipped a beat. Had he wanted to kill Naoya? Probably. The man inspired a lot of hate-fueled thoughts, even in his allies. It was hard seeing this side of Yuta though, a side that seemed to consider murder just as easily as one would decide what to have for breakfast. That wasn't hard for him, Geto and Gojo having instilled that way of thinking in him.

"Maybe," Yuta finally admitted. "He was very cruel to Mai."

The dark-haired girl propped her elbow on the table, chin in hand, reaching out to play with Yuta's hair. "It's so cute how protective you are of Mai." She grinned sharply. "Almost makes me jealous."

The other girl laughed when Yuta blushed. "He'd protect us all, but Mai is special."

Rolling her eyes, Mai didn't say anything while Yuta sputtered and insisted that everyone here was important to him. It was a clumsy effort, one that he didn't seem to know how to explain either. As he tried to figure out the right words to say, Mai leaned back and turned to face Utahime and Gojo at the door, having noticed their presence first.

"Welcome to the show," Mai told them dryly. "Yuta can take on the entire Zen'in clan, but he can't handle two teenage girls. Nanako and Mimiko are merciless."

Before Utahime could say anything, Yuta's eyes snapped in their direction. So distracted by the teasing, he hadn't even noticed their entrance. "Utahime!" He got to his feet, bowing properly, but when he caught Nanako and Mimiko watching him carefully, he hesitated, perhaps a little embarrassed. "Aren't there classes? Are Hifumi and Jiro okay?"

"They're fine," Utahime told him. "They miss you. You'd think you were gone for weeks from the way they acted when you weren't around for two days."

Gojo gestured at them. "See? I told you they'd be okay. Yuta did his job. Not a scratch on Mai."

"Yes, but–" Now that he was standing up, Utahime could see the state of Yuta's clothes. They were no longer pristine, the tie gone, the vest undone, but what she noticed the most were the blood stains. There wouldn't have even been a point to try to clean the shirt. They were ruined, spattered with blood, and he had been content to sit at the table and eat while covered in it. The sight made her stomach turn, but she made her way around the table to get a closer look. After a moment of hesitation, she cupped his face. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, um–" Yuta glanced down at himself, as if noticing the blood for the first time. "None of it's mine."

That didn't make Utahime feel any better. Judging from the way Yuta's shoulders slumped, he knew it too.

"He took a few hard blows," Mai explained, "but our good soldier is resilient if nothing else."

Gojo clapped him on the shoulder. "Not to mention he's capable of using reverse curse techniques, so he can heal himself – and others too."

"Just like Shoko," Utahime murmured.

The name stirred something in Gojo, but he nodded. "Just like Shoko."

"Don't underestimate Yuta," the dark-haired girl snapped. "He's gonna be as strong as Geto and Gojo one day."

Yuta gave them a bashful smile, but it looked strangely forced, his posture stiff. "That's a way's off still, Mimiko. I've got a lot to learn from them."

"Now, now, play nice, girls," Gojo said teasingly. "I don't think your dear old dad would like you being snippy with Utahime. She's not underestimating Yuta. She just cares about him."

"Someone ought to," Utahime retorted, glowering at Gojo sideways. Their dad? She took in a breath, ignoring the thought to question him further and his amused chuckles. Instead, she turned her attention to Yuta, carefully looking him over to make sure he wasn't lying or hiding anything. He did seem okay, the same as usual, if not a little more tired. The circles under his eyes looked more pronounced, but aside from the blood spatter all over his clothes, he appeared uninjured.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Utahime asked gently. She glanced back at Mai. "Both of you."

Mai leaned further back in her chair, crossing her legs. "Oh yeah, I had a blast at the family reunion." When Utahime gave her an expectant look, she held out her hands in a shrugging gesture. "I'm not lying. It was great. I especially enjoyed watching Yuta mop the floor with Naoya and my dear sister, and watching Naoya be forced to eat his own words."

At the mention of the others, Utahime dropped her hands from Yuta's face. "And the others? Your sister? Megumi?"

Rolling her eyes, Mai insisted, "A little worse for wear thanks to my dear bodyguard, but they're alive. Megumi sends his regards. He's worried about you." She smiled a little. "Worried that Gojo will run you ragged."

"I'm trying," Gojo laughed.

"Very funny," Utahime muttered, although she couldn't help but feel relief over hearing about Megumi and Maki. It had felt like so long since she'd last seen them, but she hadn't been able to stop thinking about either of them since the other night. How were they fairing? What were they doing? Megumi had wanted little to do with the Zen'in clan, but after Gojo's change of sides, he hadn't been left with much of a choice. Life had been hard for them both him and Maki, forever tied to traitors, carrying the weight of expectations.

A lot of people still believed that Megumi or Maki might turn due to their connections with Gojo and Mai respectively. It wasn't that much of a stretch, but the higher-ups didn't know her students like Utahime did. And they were still her students in her mind, even if she was trapped here.

"Tell us everything!" Nanako insisted, tugging on Yuta's hand.

"It must've been amazing to witness," Mimiko added, pouting at Mai. "You've seen him in action twice, but Geto won't ever let either of us join him. He's always sent on solo missions."

Mai giggled. "Jealous?"

Nanako stuck out a playful tongue. "You're hogging him."

Yuta looked mortified as the girls joked about him, looking far more like an awkward high school boy than one of the most powerful and dangerous curse users out there. His shoulders hunched, blush burned across his face, and he averted his gaze, avoiding both the girls and Gojo and Utahime. It was strange. A part of Utahime was happy to see Yuta having such normal interactions and relationships with kids his age – but the conversation was off, and it made her a little sick. These two girls were excited about his destruction. It wasn't right.

"Spoiling him with attention already, girls?" someone asked from behind, Utahime looking back to see Geto had entered the room, a warm smile on his face.

Both Nanako and Mimiko squealed excitedly and jumped up to greet Geto with hugs. Utahime could only stare at them, confused for a moment before she remembered. The day that Geto snapped, the village massacre, the two little sorcerers… These were the girls that Geto had rescued from that village before he'd murdered every non-sorcerer there and then his parents. They were his girls, Gojo's joke about their dad becoming clearer.

Geto's arms around Nanako and Mimiko, Gojo's hand on Yuta's shoulder, Mai resting her hand on the table just an inch away from where Yuta was nervously tapping his fingers. They were a family .

"I see you've finally met Utahime," Geto said. "What do you think?"

Nanako let out a rather unimpressed huff. "She seems nice."

It didn't sound like a compliment.

Geto laughed, having noticed it as well. "She taught kids your age, so it's only natural that she's protective. She's a good teacher too. She's working with the twins we brought in a while back."

"Like you did with us," Mimiko surmised.

"Exactly."

When Geto's eyes landed on Utahime, she had to resist the urge to shiver. Still, she looked away, unable to meet him head-on, not with that kiss replaying in her mind. It was really distracting. Maybe that had been his angle, knowing that she would dwell on it and cause her to trip up and behave awkwardly around Gojo. It wouldn't have been a half-bad strategy, seeing as how it was kind of working. He had really done a number on her head, and she had thought only Gojo capable of that.

Stepping forward, Geto laid a hand on Mai's shoulder. "I've heard good things from our contacts. I'm proud of you both, especially you, Mai. I know this couldn't have been easy for you, seeing them again, but you did well."

"Thanks," Mai murmured, far more subdued than usual, more genuine as well.

"And you really showed them, huh?" Geto continued, focusing on Yuta. "They must've been terrified when they realized that Gojo and I aren't the only ones they need to be afraid of."

Mai snorted. "I thought Naoya might actually piss his pants – in fear and anger."

"I didn't do much," Yuta said. "Rika took care of a lot of the sorcerers while I handled a few."

"Don't downplay yourself like that," Geto told him. "Even without Rika, you took on a large number of grade one sorcerers on your own. That's not something many people can do." When he smiled again, it looked genuine, even felt it, but for some reason, it only made Utahime's heart sink. She saw the hope in Yuta's eyes, the eagerness to please. It was easier to do with Gojo, so Geto being proud of him was something special. "Not to mention the control you managed to keep over your own curse energy along with Rika – I'm very pleased with your progression."

"Yeah, kid, you should be proud," Gojo said, bringing Yuta in a little closer so he could ruffle his dark hair. Yuta let him do it, the smile on his face still shy. Getting this much praise was difficult for him to manage. Utahime could tell he was trying to figure out how to respond to it, so he said nothing instead. "You're a natural. I knew you had it in you. Mimiko is right: I would've loved to have seen you take them on. I bet Naoya ran with his tail tucked between his legs to tell the higher-ups."

Utahime frowned. "You think he'd tell them?"

"He'll have to, if he's smart, at least so he can keep playing both hands for now," Gojo pointed out. "He won't be able to keep that a secret, especially with so much destruction. And I would expect either Megumi or Maki to tell Nanami."

"Fushiguro was stronger than I expected," Yuta admitted, Utahime holding her breath upon hearing his name.

"You could've still killed him if you wanted," Mimiko insisted. "You could've killed all of them."

"It's true that we aren't the only ones with powerful sorcerers in our pocket," Geto stated. "We still have to be careful and play our cards right, but this was a step forward. You could've decimated them, and they know it now. It's almost a shame you had to hold yourself back." He tilted his head, eyeing Yuta curiously. "How did it feel – knowing you were the most powerful one in the room?"

"It…" His eyes locked onto one of his hands, Yuta clenched it into a fist and admitted, "It felt good ."

Gojo flashed a grin. "Attaboy."

"Maybe, if either of the clans prove difficult to sway, we can show them just what we're capable of when off the leash," Geto mused, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "We haven't done any power plays in a while. A use of force is sometimes necessary. Set him loose in a village. Leave nothing in his wake so they know what will become of them if they step out of line."

"How cruel of you," Gojo sighed.

"Sometimes, we must first be cruel to be kind," Geto insisted. "You would do it though, Yuta, wouldn't you? If we asked you. You could do it. You're more than capable of it."

Yuta looked from Geto to Gojo, his eyes lit up with a strange excitement, the idea of being the catalyst too hard to resist, of being their secret and most prized trump card. "I… If that's what you thought would help us…"

"See, this is the kind of loyalty I'm talking about," Geto declared, grabbing hold of Yuta's shoulder, the side of his hand brushing against Gojo's. "If only everyone was like you."

While everyone else continued to praise Yuta for his destructive capabilities, Utahime could only stare in horror. They were speaking casually about Yuta taking out an entire village of innocent people like it was nothing – like it was just a move on a chessboard, not something that involved countless innocent, human lives. And Yuta had agreed to it, if only because they might ask it of him, the same boy that had protected her from Negi and defended her multiple times, the sweet boy that played with Hifumi and Jiro and their curses, the shy boy that blushed from Mai's teasing.

It was too much, and Utahime stepped back, pulling herself away from them.

Gojo caught on first, looking away from Yuta to her. "Utahime?"

"I can't…" Utahime shook her head. "What is wrong with you all? Where's your humanity?"

All at once, the tentatively happy look on Yuta's face dropped. His eyes connected with Utahime's briefly, taking in the horror, and then they fell to the floor, his body cringing in shame. She hated making him feel that way – hated that she could inspire such savage guilt in a boy that she knew had been emotionally manipulated – but she felt sick, and she couldn't bear the pain that threatened to swallow her whole.

He was a good boy, but he was theirs , and that word, as she'd come to find out, was very relative.

Nanako scoffed and folded her arms across her chest. "So sensitive and soft."

"She's still in the process of accepting what we have to do here," Geto said.

Rage burned hotly in Utahime's gut, and she pointed an accusing finger at him. "I will never accept your methods or ideas."

"But you'll accept other things from us, right?" Geto prompted, the smile on his face no longer warm.

Utahime blushed at the implication, but she pushed forward. "You're trying to turn Yuta into you – into a monster – and that's not him. He's better than that, and yet here you are, joking and idly discussing whether or not to send him on a mission to commit mass murder. And he's desperate to please you two, afraid of being rejected again, so of course he'll stain his hands if it makes you happy. I can't–" She cut herself off, holding up her hands when Gojo moved. "I need to return to the classroom. I'm sure you all have a lot to discuss, and I can't… I can't be here."

Pulling his arm away from Yuta, Gojo stepped forward. "Aw, c'mon, Utahime, don't be like that–"

Utahime slapped Gojo's hand away, though not really. She hit the wall of his Infinity. He'd turned it on her. So it was going to be like that then. Fine. She could play that game too. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit, Gojo. It's revolting, and I can't stand seeing you like…like a monster."

A rather dark expression flickered across Gojo's face, a frown pulling at his lips, but before he could say anything, Mai stood up – and stumbled slightly, catching herself with a hand on the table, her other hand flying to her side. Utahime's mood instantly shifted, her attention going from glaring defiantly at Gojo to moving quickly to touch Mai's arm.

Even Yuta jumped into action, fear flashing in his eyes as he broke away from Gojo and Geto's hold. "Mai, are you–?"

"I'm fine," Mai insisted irritably, brushing both Yuta and Utahime away.

Yuta watched her intensely, his eyes roving over her in a critical manner, not taking her word alone for it. "You weren't hit, were you? Rika made sure you were out of the way during the fight, and you said no sorcerers got past her, but–"

Mai waved away his concerns. "I just stood up too fast."

Chewing on his bottom lip, Yuta mumbled, "We haven't really been able to rest much either. Perhaps you should lay down. We can discuss everything after–"

"I said I'm fine," Mai cut in. Yuta didn't believe it, and neither did Utahime, but no one said a word to question her on it, not even Gojo and Geto, who were watching their every move, Nanako and Mimiko whispering to each other beside them. "I'll take Utahime back to the classroom and meet you all in Geto's office."

Although it was obvious that he didn't want to take no for an answer, Yuta nodded. "Understood."

Mai turned to her. "You ready?"

Utahime nodded, her stomach tied in knots. She couldn't get any words to come out, determinedly avoiding Gojo's gaze. Even with a blindfold on, she could tell he was staring her down. It wasn't good. The last time she remembered feeling him stare at her like this had been the day he took her. Cold, furious, serious. She didn't want to admit that he frightened her, but her heart was racing in her chest. Something would come of this later – she would have to pay a price of some sort – but for now, she wanted to escape him.

Gojo would seek her out eventually, and when he did, Utahime had no doubt that there would be consequences.

"We'll come with you," Nanako decided, hopping alongside Utahime and sliding her arm through hers. "Let's get to know each other, yeah? If Geto likes you, then there must be something promising about you."

"Yeah, we'll let the boys be boys," Mimiko added with a wink.

A slightly dismayed look came over Yuta for a moment, but then he wiped his expression clean. He couldn't afford to be weak around Gojo and Geto either. Mai acted as a barrier for him sometimes, but without her around, things would be different. Utahime didn't want to leave him alone with them, mentally pleading for him to come too, but Yuta didn't move. He didn't even meet her gaze, keeping his eyes trained on the ground as Mai pulled her out of the room, the twins at her side.

Yuta must have known that he couldn't escape them if he wanted. He was theirs. Then again, they both were, weren't they? Even if she had rejected Geto, she still felt herself falling into his snares. Well, if she had to chew her own leg off to get out, then so be it.

However, at the last second, she looked over her shoulder and accidentally met Gojo's gaze. Whatever determination she had felt moments ago fled her now, her heart lodged into her throat. She would have to do more than chew her leg off if she wanted to escape him.

Chapter 19

Notes:

I can't believe it took 19 chapters and basically 100k for us to get here, but hey ya'll, it's finally time for this high rating to be put to use. I remember when this was supposed to be a problematic NSFW one-shot and it somehow turned into this sprawling emotional mess. lmfao And you know whose fault it was? Yuta. You can either thank him or blame him for this. XD Anyways, it is TIME.

Chapter Text

The entire walk to her classroom, Utahime was silent, not even paying attention to the three girls chatting with each other. They could've been talking about her, and she wouldn't have caught on. Occasionally, she saw one of them glance her way, Nanako opening her mouth, Mai casting her a sharp glare, but for the most part, despite proclaiming to come in order to get to know her more, they left her alone. The air around them felt sheepish and sad – and strangely, a little mournful, as if they knew she would suffer repercussions.

"So you really are a teacher, huh?" Mimiko said when they reached the classroom.

Utahime blinked, realizing the girl was speaking to her. "Yes, I have been for years."

"Must be different here than it was for the other side," Nanako said.

"It is," Utahime said. "I don't have to worry about former friends trying to murder my students in cold blood."

Nanako and Mimiko were clearly taken aback by Utahime's blunt response, stiffening and rearing back, and shame burned hotly in Utahime's gut. Catty as they could be, they were still young, the same age as Maki and Noritoshi, and so putting her anger and pain regarding Gojo and Geto wasn't fair of her, even if they were on their side. They loved Geto. He had saved their lives, killed the people that had tormented them, raised them as his own. This was their world, and it was wonderful. He'd created it, seemingly for them, a safer and better place.

They would never understand that it had been built in the blood of others, nor would they likely care.

"I'm sorry," Utahime settled on saying. "I'm admittedly a bit unsettled."

"No need to apologize to them," Mai told her casually. "They're kind of bitches anyway."

Nanako stuck her tongue out. "Takes one to know one."

Mai laughed lightly. "Oh, I'm worse than you."

The pain in Utahime's chest grew over their banter. Cruel as their words were, they were playful too, and she couldn't help but be reminded that these were children. Geto and Gojo had said that they weren't creating soldiers, but what kind of mindset were they putting in their heads? They could be cold just as easily as they could be warm – cut a person down and then pick them up with little to no regard.

She thought of Yuta – the hopeful glimmer in his eyes, the hint of a smile, the foreign sense of pride he must've felt. Geto made him nervous, but for the first time, he'd looked almost at ease, standing alongside them. His rightful place, just as strong as the two of them, with even more curse energy than Gojo.

Utahime took in a breath. "I have to get back to Hifumi and Jiro–"

Nanako pressed a hand on the door before Utahime could open it. "I don't know what he sees in you. Personally, I think you're kinda weak. There doesn't seem to be anything special about you, and you don't even believe in our cause."

Meeting the younger girl's eyes, Utahime flatly said, "I've learned not to question what goes on in Gojo's brain."

A smile curled at Nanako's lips. "Of course."

"Now, if you'll excuse me."

Utahime brushed her aside and stepped inside the classroom. She could've said something much ruder, so much more cutting to a sixteen-year-old girl, but she didn't see the point. It would only antagonize the girl and prove her point. Also, she didn't feel like getting into an argument with a teenager. Why waste her energy there when she could argue with a number of grown women around the compound that glared at her like she stole their sippy cup?

The kids turned to face the door when she entered, both Jiro and Hifumi standing upright with excitement. "I'm sorry about that," she said as she shut the door on the girls. "I hope they were okay."

"Yes, they were–" The teacher's shoulders dropped in relief, but the smile on their face seemed genuine. "They did well, far better than I expected."

"You came back fast!" Hifumi exclaimed right as Jiro sank in his seat and asked, "No Yuta?"

"I'm afraid he has some…important business with Gojo and Geto, but he misses you and says he'll see you soon," Utahime explained. It was the truth well enough. The kids gathered their things, their curses already at the door. They looked as if they'd stayed there in the back, keeping a distance from the other children. They were noticeably bigger than they had been a few weeks ago, no longer fitting comfortably under the desks as they had before.

They were getting stronger.

After ushering them into their makeshift classroom, Utahime fought the urge to sink behind her desk. A shameful part of her had wanted to return to her room and lock herself inside, wait out until Gojo showed up, but she needed a distraction and couldn't count on Hifumi and Jiro lasting that long without her there. She had responsibilities. She'd given them to herself and she would not slack on them, even if it hurt to watch the kids and their curses settle back into their desks.

"I'm proud of you both," Utahime forced herself to say, the words feeling like poison on her tongue. "I apologize for leaving so abruptly, so I'm glad you handled it well. It couldn't have been easy, especially after the other day."

She didn't sound much different from Geto and Gojo, cajoling the children with words, peppering them with praise, soothing any sores. It was different, she knew, but it still made her feel sick.

"Is Yuta okay?" Jiro asked.

"Duh, 'course he's okay," Hifumi declared. "You can sense his curse energy. He's got lots, more than anyone ever."

"He's okay," Utahime answered. It was the truth, too, but then it wasn't, not really. "He's just got a lot going on right now."

Children were far more perceptive than most people gave them credit for. Locked up as they'd been, Hifumi and Jiro had probably learned to read people from a young age. They had to know who would hurt them and who would have pity on them, if only to survive. Young children were especially unique. They picked up on things quickly, saw things that those older than them might miss, and so she shouldn't have been surprised when Hifumi asked such straightforward questions.

"Why doesn't Yuta like Geto?"

Utahime startled, almost tripping over a foot. "What?"

"Why doesn't Yuta like Geto?" Hifumi asked again, like she hadn't pulled the question out of thin air. It might've seemed sporadic to Utahime, but to Hifumi, it was a perfectly logical moment to ask. "I like Geto. He's nice, and he has curses like us and Yuta!"

"Oh, um… Yuta doesn't dislike Geto; he respects him," Utahime settled on saying, not sure if she could explain it herself. It had to do with Rika. If Gojo was to be believed – and, if she was being honest, it made sense – Geto wanted Rika as his own curse, or he would at least naturally want her. He'd potentially be even stronger than Gojo if he had Rika in his arsenal. It must've been frustrating to find out that a shy boy was nearly on the same level as him and didn't use Rika to her full abilities. "Geto just has a lot of expectations for Yuta because he's so strong, and that can be hard on a person. And Yuta is very respectful, so he's…"

Obedient. Submissive. She didn't want to call him that.

"Well, I like Geto," Hifumi stated, sitting down at her desk, "and I think he likes you, so Yuta should like him too."

Utahime coughed in her hand to cover a choke, turning her face to hide her pink cheeks. She was most certainly not going to comment on that either. The last thing she needed was to talk about her problems with Geto and Gojo to two children.

"Let's get back to work, okay?"

She didn't even want to think about them right now, if only because she wouldn't have a choice later.

By the time class was over, Utahime could almost pretend like it was a normal day. Instead of Yuta taking them back to their dorms, they agreed to go with the other children, perhaps sensing her exhaustion. Hifumi had argued a little, but then Jiro had whispered something to her, their curses chittering at each other, and she gave up.

However, the moment she opened the door and found herself face-to-face with Gojo, her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, and she couldn't stop the fear from flashing across her face.

"Hi," Gojo greeted simply, a sheepish smile on his face. It didn't fit.

"Again?" Hifumi huffed, like Gojo's presence was inconvenient for her and not Utahime. Jiro was a little better, giving an awkward bow and mumbling something that resembled a greeting.

Utahime managed to scrape herself together. "Hi, sorry, I just have to–" She gestured at the kids. "C'mon, the others are leaving. It's time to go."

Jiro glanced between the two of them, clinging to his curse. It was almost too big for him to carry. "Can you come with us?"

"I–" Utahime looked at Gojo, who wore a neutral expression, and then back to the kids. "You can go with them. You promised. And don't you think Yuta will be proud to hear how good of a day you two have had?"

"I guess," Jiro mumbled. At least he was talking. Hifumi wore a downright grumpy look, waving at her curse to follow her. The children and their curses shuffled out of the room, catching the tail end of the rest of the class. While Jiro kept his head down, muttering something under his breath to his curse, Hifumi threw a look at them over her shoulder, a pitiful little glare from a kid who didn't know anything.

"You know who they kinda remind me of?" Gojo quipped. "Mai and Yuta."

Utahime could've talked with him about that – she would have gladly wasted an hour talking about the comparisons and how she had seen them as well – but she knew Gojo didn't really want to discuss the kids. Instead, she stepped out of the classroom and waited for him, wondering which direction he would go. He'd come here to collect her, but she wasn't sure where he would take her after this. She was only a little surprised when he turned in the direction of her room.

Her cage. This wasn't her home.

They didn't speak the entire walk, Utahime hanging a step behind. It wasn't like Gojo not to talk. Other people must've sensed the tension too and the unusualness of Gojo's silence because absolutely no one spoke to him. They didn't even lift their eyes to his face, everyone keeping to themselves, afraid of what he would do if they broke the silence. By the time they reached her room, Utahime's heart was pounding wildly in her chest, her stomach twisted into knots. She even flinched when he shut the door and she heard the lock twist shut.

"You're scared," Gojo stated. "Your curse energy is fluctuating far more than normal."

Utahime folded her arms across her chest, still turned away from him. "You can read me so easily, can't you?"

"It's not terribly surprising," Gojo said, his tone strangely flat. "I was angry, I'll admit, and you knew that. I didn't know what I'd do when I saw you again."

She had to fight back a shiver, trying to put a lid on her curse energy so he couldn't see it wavering so much. "Are you going to punish me for my insolent behavior?"

"Maybe I should, seeing as how you were very rude to me in front of the others," Gojo said. "But what should I do? Lock you up in here until you apologize? Spank you?" She made a face, and he actually laughed. "I was infuriated, yes, but after some time, I was able to calm down and think. Plus, I don't think Yuta would be happy if I was cruel to you simply because you embarrassed me."

"Sorry for hurting your feelings," Utahime forced out bitterly. "I'm sorry I can't handle the idea of mass genocide and you two manipulating children into committing atrocities."

She tensed up when Gojo placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to calm herself as Gojo pulled her back against his chest. "You think I'll let that happen?" He laid his chin on top of her head, one hand sliding down her arm while the other fell to rest over her stomach, holding her snugly. "I never said I agreed with Suguru's idea. Yuta was happy to be a protector. He's happy to watch over you, over Mai, the kids, the girls. He's stronger that way too."

Utahime stilled in his arms, twisting her lips. "Geto wants to turn him into a monster."

"No, he wants to turn Yuta into what he thinks is the best version of himself," Gojo sighed, turning his face to let his cheek on the top of her head. "Suguru cares about him too, whether you believe it or not, but Yuta isn't like us. He has a kinder heart. Becoming like us would destroy him and what makes him so strong."

She tilted her head back, peering up at him. "Do you really mean that?"

"I do," Gojo replied. "You believe me, don't you?"

Dropping her head, Utahime sank into him. "Gojo, I…I honestly don't know what to believe anymore."

Gojo's hold on her tensed up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know what I'm doing here," Utahime confessed. "It feels like I'm just playing pretend while I wait for the other shoe to fall, shuffling myself into a role I'm comfortable with because I'm terrified. I'm not a teacher, not really, and Hifumi and Jiro aren't my students. Neither are Mai and Yuta. They're all just…tools meant to keep me occupied while you wait to get what you want and Geto figures out what to do with me."

"That's not–"

Utahime jerked out of his grip, spinning around to face him. "Is it not? They're meant to make me complacent so I have a reason to stay – to make me feel like I belong here when you know damn well I don't."

"You do belong here – with me," Gojo insisted. "You have a chance to make a real difference here, unlike on the other side where they'll only use you as they see fit. They refuse to see your worth, but here, with me, you can become something."

When he reached out for her again, she took a step back, keeping herself out of his reach. "How? Why ? We are not on the same side. Gojo, maybe things seem simple for you, but when you turned, everything changed. You killed people I cared about, innocent people I'd known for years, in the blink of an eye. And I'm meant to believe you spared me that day because you wanted to sleep with me?"

A frustrated look flashed across Gojo's face. "It was more complicated than that, and you know it. I couldn't– I couldn't let you die."

"You've attacked friends, destroyed cities, unleashed untold chaos," Utahime snapped. "You almost killed Megumi–"

"I didn't," Gojo cut in. "I wouldn't. Megumi is too valuable–"

"Of course," Utahime spat. "You didn't kill him because you could still use him in the future. Is that why you didn't kill me? Because you still had something you wanted to use me for?" She sneered, ugly and angry, knowing how much he hated it. That wasn't a look people gave him. It was like a slap in the face from her. "That's not so much different from the higher-ups you murdered."

"Don't," Gojo hissed, advancing on her so suddenly that she stumbled and fell against the wall. "Don't you dare compare me to them. They were worthless and cruel, only in it for their own selfish purposes. They were going to use you in whatever way they saw fit, drained you dry until you had nothing left, and then used your precious students just the same. They never cared about anyone but themselves and their stupid traditions, and the new ones are no different."

"They're worse, because they have to be in order to survive the world you and Geto created!" Utahime exclaimed. "You've no idea what life was like after you turned. You've no idea what we had to endure – what we've had to do and become to protect our students, to give them a sliver of the life you promise your students here."

"We can give it to them – to all of them."

"Not without them giving up a part of themselves," Utahime said. "Not without them accepting defeat and turning a blind eye. Many won't be so willing to forgive what you've done. At the least, they won't be able to forget."

Gojo fingered a strand of her hair. "Can you?"

"I–" Utahime gazed up at him, angry and tired and upset all at once. "No. I don't know. Everything is so…confusing."

"What could possibly be so confusing about this?" Gojo placed a finger under her chin, keeping her eyes on him. "Listen to me, Utahime, if I just wanted to have sex with you, I would've done that the first night I brought you here. I would've taken you to my room and wouldn't have allowed you to leave until you screamed my name and begged me to let you rest. It would've taken me absolutely nothing to fuck you for as long as I wanted, whenever I wanted."

Utahime struggled to breathe. "Is that what you plan on doing now? Is that my punishment?"

"Punishment, huh. Still expecting the worst of me, I see." He sounded disappointed, like a teacher when a student failed a test. "Almost makes me want to stop trying."

"What's holding you back then?"

When Gojo smiled, it was a hint bitter, a touch sad. It shouldn't have made her want to reach out to him, but it did. She didn't see him this open often. "Because I'm a fool, and maybe I–" He brushed her hair aside gently, his fingertips grazing her neck. "I was a stupid boy, too full of my own power and cockiness to recognize how I felt, and I grew into a stupid man, who was too wary to let anyone in and too selfish to let you go. No matter what, you were always honest with me, even when it hurt, and I've wanted that more than anything these past few years."

"And what about what I want?" Utahime questioned.

"I know you, Utahime," Gojo told her. "If you didn't want me – if you didn't want me to want you – you wouldn't have hesitated to tell me, no matter how scared you were. You would've fought tooth and nail, even if it meant death."

"How do you know I'm not just biting my tongue to survive until I can figure out a way to escape or hurt you?" One could argue that was what she'd done with the higher-ups, keeping her mouth shut so they wouldn't shuttle her into a different role or take her away from her students.

But Gojo shook his head. "No, a part of you wants this. It probably humiliates you, but… You've got one foot in. All you need is a little push. Yes, I brought you here because I was selfish and I wanted you on our side – I couldn't stand the idea of them ruining you – but you've done so much more since you got here. Can't you see your own potential?"

Utahime's shoulders sank. "Am I really not here just to be your toy?"

Gojo cupped her face, his Infinity down, his palms warm against her skin. "You should know by now that you mean more to me than that. Sure, you provide more of a challenge than anyone would here – and you drive me mad sometimes – but I didn't need to look outside to find someone to play around with."

"Then why does everything still feel like a game?" Utahime demanded, frustrating bleeding through. "It may not feel like it to you, but it's like I'm being pulled into so many different directions. You, my beliefs, my feelings, my loyalties, right and wrong, my friends, the children, my students, Geto–"

The moment she let the name slip, Utahime knew it was a mistake. Even with the blindfold covering his eyes, she could sense him narrowing them at her, scrutinizing her more carefully. She could feel the tension in his hands as he held her face, making her acutely aware of how small she was compared to him – how weak she was. She tried not to react, but she swallowed, her throat constricting with panic.

"What about Suguru?" Gojo asked casually. The question did not feel casual.

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. "It's nothing."

"Oh really?" Gojo let go of her face, but she couldn't find it in herself to breathe in relief. "Did he get into your head? Worm his way into your heart?" He made a face, irritated, but she kept her mouth shut. She would've cut in with her own temper in the past, but she knew better now. She had to let him ride out his anger. "He's good at that. He's charming, isn't he?"

"He could be better," Utahime said.

Gojo laughed, but it lacked humor. "So callous, Utahime." He ran a finger along her cheek. "But is that really how you feel? Is that why you pushed me away so harshly? You're always so tense whenever Suguru is around, but maybe it's because you don't want to be seen as mine in front of him."

Utahime stiffened. "I'm not–"

"You're not what?" Gojo cut in. "Not mine? Not doing that?"

She couldn't explain it to him. He would never understand. Neither would Geto, for that matter. She couldn't explain how much she cared about him – how it took her until he was gone for her to realize that he meant more to her than she could have ever known, and his turning broke her heart more than she could admit. She couldn't explain how, despite caring about him, despite even wanting him, it would cut her deeply to give in. She would have to give up a part of herself to love him, and she didn't know if she could do that.

It would be a betrayal to everything she believed in and those she loved and proclaimed she wanted to protect. He couldn't understand that, because he had betrayed them all, and so had Geto.

"I can't say what you want me to say," Utahime whispered, reaching forward to pull his blindfold down. "And it terrifies me."

"Yes you can," Gojo insisted, sliding his hands over her cheeks to dig her fingers in her hair. He bent down to kiss her, stealing her breath away with how much passion he poured into it. She met him instantly, matching him without even thinking about it, even as guilt clawed at her. "Just tell me that you want this as much as I do."

"Gojo, I–"

His lips twisted into a cold smile against hers. "Or did you realize it's not me that you want? Suguru played a dirty trick, using those kids on you. It was a smart play. I underestimated him – thought his interest in you would only extend through me. But maybe I was wrong."

Biting her lip, heart pounding in her chest, Utahime pulled back. "He–"

She hesitated, afraid of how Gojo would react, but despite what she had told Geto, she didn't want to keep it a secret from Gojo. It only made it feel worse – like the kiss was something shameful, like maybe Gojo was right and she was hiding it from him for her own purpose. She wasn't, she swore she wasn't, but it still felt like a seed that would only grow into something unmanageable if she didn't nip it early.

"He kissed me," Utahime admitted.

Gojo blinked, placid, only making her feel even more twisted up. "Oh really. How?"

Blush burned her cheeks. "He just–"

"Was he gentle and sweet?" Gojo asked, his voice too calm. "Like this?"

He kissed her again, soft and slow. It was the type of kiss that made her heart ache, the kind that made her yearn for more. It made her want to love him, even as she told herself to say no. One of his hands cradled the back of her head, his other hand trailing down her neck. It was sweet, a low hum coming from him as he kissed her, like he was pleased. She rested her hands on his chest, her heart swelling even as it beat rapidly.

Of course, it was too good to think it might stay this way.

"Or" – Gojo held his lips just millimeters from hers – "was it more like this? Full of passion and desire?"

He changed with the flip of a switch, kissing her so aggressively that a whimper slipped from her. He used his height and strength to push against her, until the back of her legs hit her bed. Before she could tumble backwards on it, he caught her, lowering her down and pinning her with his body. He barely gave her any time to breathe, kissing her as if he meant to literally steal the air from her lungs. One of his hands roamed over her, her body lighting up under his touch, and he rolled his hips down against hers, ripping a gasp from her.

"I shouldn't have waited so long," Gojo muttered half to himself, slipping a hand through the opening of her kosode.

"I didn't–" Utahime struggled to speak as she felt Gojo's hands on her chest, her hips moving even as she tried to keep them still. "I told him no–"

Gojo chuckled, kissing down her neck. "Did you? You're gonna break his heart."

"I told him I didn't–" Utahime was panting. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get control of herself, but it was difficult with the way Gojo was touching and kissing her. "I didn't want to hurt you."

At that admission, Gojo paused in his ministrations, pulling himself away from her neck and holding himself over her. She couldn't read the expression on his face, but it felt like he was searching her face for the truth. She didn't back down, staring up at him resolutely. She knew she wasn't lying. Yes, a part of it had been out of fear – she had been afraid of how Gojo would react to Geto's actions when he could be so possessive – but she didn't want to hurt him either.

"You're not lying," Gojo surmised.

"Of course not," Utahime scoffed.

Nuzzling his face into her neck, Gojo murmured, "I don't want him to take you."

"He won't," Utahime told him, smoothing a hand down his back.

Gojo kissed his way up her neck and over her jaw. "He'll try," he sighed, "and I won't blame you for it. We've made things complicated for you, haven't we?" He lifted himself just enough to hover over her lips. "I'll just have to have you first then, so you always remember who you came here for."

Utahime's heart skipped a bit. "Gojo–"

But he cut her off, pressing his lips against hers again, leaving no room for her to mistake what he desired, and all Utahime could do was let him. After all, if she was being honest with herself, as shameful as it was, she was tired of pretending like she didn't want him too.

Gojo made short work of her hakama, undoing the band and pulling her kosode out. She cupped his face, keeping him in place so he would continue to kiss her. When he undid her kosode completely, she shivered from being exposed to the cold air, but he wasted no time in warming her up, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck and over the top of her chest. His bangs brushed against her skin as he made his way down, sliding off the bed as he kissed her stomach, pulling her hakama down as he went.

"You really have to be difficult, huh," Gojo huffed, unlacing her boots and yanking them off.

Utahime propped herself up on her forearms to look down at him, the sleeves of her kosode falling over her shoulders. She wanted to say something to him – tell him to slow down, to calm himself, anything – but she couldn't. She could only watch as he unraveled her further, leaving her legs bare in a way she rarely showed others. He ran his palms up her legs, starting from her ankles, going over her calves, up her thighs, leaning in to kiss her again, making her meet him halfway in a needy manner that made her burn with embarrassment.

It shouldn't have been this easy.

Of course he had to ruin the moment. "Take the rest of your clothes off." It was a demand, even if he said it quietly.

Still, with shaky hands, she did as she was told, sliding off the kosode, peeling off her slip, clumsily undoing her bra as if she hadn't done it thousands of times. He undressed as well, taking off his jacket and shirt in a swift move that made her suck in a breath and avert her eyes. Not that she hadn't seen him without his shirt on before, but it had been a long time ago, back when they were younger, a little more foolish, not quite the jaded adults they'd become. He was still defined, but not nearly as lean as he'd been back then. It made her somehow feel even smaller.

"Fuck," Gojo breathed out, a hungry look on his face as he practically devoured her with his eyes.

Utahime folded her arms across her chest, hiding herself. "Stop being weird."

However, Gojo would let her hide, grabbing her wrists to pull her arms away from her chest and pinning her down on the bed again, leaving her completely exposed. "Been waiting for this for so long," he told her, lowering his lips to her skin. He kissed over the top of her breasts, his breath warm, tongue wet, slipping his lips around a nipple and sucking needily in a way that made her squirm far too much. "Used to dream about your tits."

Utahime bucked up against him. "Stop–"

"They're cute and small," Gojo said with a grin, "like you."

And they were embarrassingly sensitive too, judging by the way she couldn't stop rocking her hips as he fondled and sucked on them. Utahime was panting heavily, pressing her lips into a thin line and breathing through her nose whenever she started to hear herself whine. It didn't help that Gojo was also rolling his hips against hers. Even though he was still wearing pants, she could feel the hard outline of his dick rubbing against her, giving her a delicious friction every time that made her head spin.

Gojo sucked and bit at the skin hard enough to leave marks, little pink declarations of ownership. It was like he wanted to brand her, so that if Geto ever saw her like this, he'd know who conquered her first. She yipped and jumped a little when he bit down slightly too hard, but then he soothed her nipple with his tongue, sucking again until she was moaning and jerking her hips, pleasure flaring hotly inside her. She could feel it building up, steadily becoming a crescendo, and she wanted it to stop, wanted to fall over the edge, wanted it to never end.

When the orgasm finally hit her and pleasure spilled over, her mind was wiped clean for a moment, uncaring of the cries pouring out of her mouth and the way she rutted needily for more friction. "Gojo, Gojo, please–" She didn't know what she was saying – tried to bite her tongue, but that didn't stop her whimpers. It felt too good, horribly good, and as much as she knew it was wrong, she did want more. She was so tired of playing this damn game, of pretending like she could say no and leave it at that, like she didn't want him to put an end to the chase.

So out of it from the orgasm, she didn't even notice him shucking off his pants. He'd let go of one of her wrists, allowing her to lay an arm over her eyes as she caught her breath, but the moment she felt his fingers between her legs, she froze. A tiny whine was torn from her as he felt her with his fingers, probing over her slick folds and then sliding into her.

"So wet and tight," Gojo marveled. "You need me, don't you?" Utahime shook her head, and he added a second finger, picking up the pace and stretching her out to accommodate him. "Don't try to deny it. You waited for me just as much as I waited for you. Couldn't let anyone else have you, and now you're all mine."

She wanted to deny it, but she couldn't, not when she felt so consumed. Instead, she was left to cry out pathetically when he pulled his fingers out of her, only to gasp when she felt something else take their place. Her eyes fluttered open. She was left to watch Gojo's face as he began to push his cock into her, his eyes locked on where they were joining with such intensity that it almost made her look away. There was resistance almost immediately, and she whimpered, the unfamiliar sensation feeling both terrible and good. How long had it been since she'd last been with someone?

"Shit," Gojo somewhat laughed, "you're even smaller than I thought."

Tears burned at the edges of her eyes. "Gojo–"

"You can take it," Gojo told her, brushing away the tears with his thumb, leaning down to kiss her cheeks and pushing himself in further at the same time. "Just a little more."

"I can't–"

"You will."

Utahime hiccuped when he finally bottomed out inside her with a groan, choking on a cry. She clung to him, nails digging into his shoulders, far too tense. He'd gone too quick, too rough, too eager to be fully sheathed inside her, pushing the air out from her lungs by force. However, now that he was inside her, he stayed still, giving her a moment to relax and perhaps to catch his own breath. It certainly hadn't been as long for him as it had been for her, but he nuzzled her cheek, kissing the corner of her lips before capturing them.

"Feels good," Gojo groaned. "Wanted you so bad that I couldn't think straight sometimes."

He pulled out partially, dragging an, " Oh ," out of her. She didn't feel entirely here, but when he pushed himself back inside of her again, it snapped her back into the moment. He wouldn't let her drift off, gripping her wrist tighter and grabbing one of her calves to lift up her leg so he could pump into her at a different angle. She jolted again, a cry slipping from her, and he swore under his breath.

That signaled the end of his gentleness. He picked up the pace, pumping in and out of her at a rate that left her gasping for air. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him in close. His hot breath washed over her neck, his groans and pants for air ringing in her ears. He fucked her hard enough to scoot her further up the bed, rucking the blankets underneath them, unable to stay quiet no matter how hard she tried.

"Do you know how long I've dreamed about this?" Gojo asked. "I waited for years and then you wouldn't stop fighting me when I brought you here. I thought I was gonna lose it."

She couldn't speak, afraid to waste any air on talking. He had her boxed in, his body pressing down on hers. His hand slid to her knee and he shoved down on it, spreading her legs further to an almost painful angle. When she pressed her other knee against his side to give herself some relief, he sat back on his knees, wrapping his hands around her calves to pull her onto his dick and keep her legs open. It hurt as good as it felt, the mixed signals causing her brain to white out.

"I wasn't–"

"You weren't what?" Gojo demanded, harshly slamming into her. "I could have anyone I want, but I want you . Doesn't that mean something?"

"I–" Utahime tried to say something, but she couldn't. Maybe it angered him or maybe he was just too in the heat of the moment. When he pulled out of her abruptly, she rasped out, "Gojo, don't–"

Only to yelp when he flipped her onto her stomach. He snatched her by the hips, lifting her ass up in an embarrassing angle, and then sank back inside of her in one go. She had to press her face into the bed to hide her cry, holding herself up on her forearms as he fucked into her hard and fast. When he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled, she got the picture, pushing herself up onto her hands even though her arms were trembling from the effort. From this angle, he hit a spot inside of her that had her toes curling, a strange feeling shaking through her body, and she panted with the effort not to beg him to stop.

"You're mine, you're mine," Gojo said, almost like he was chanting. " Mine ."

It was too much, and all she wanted to do was cry.

Instead, she could do nothing but allow Gojo to pull her up onto her knees, forcing her back to arch as he continued to pump in and out of her. One of his arms wrapped around her, groping her chest, pinching and pulling at her nipples. He wanted to hear her whine, and she couldn't stop herself from obliging him. His other hand snaked around her throat, grasping it with his long fingers, holding her in place with the back of her head leaning against his chest.

"You enjoy being mean to me, don't you? You might say you care about me, but you'll insult me, throw my offers back in my face, bite my hand, refuse to let me touch you."

She couldn't say he was entirely wrong. She had rejected him outright in front of the others earlier today, slapping his hand away before he could touch her. She hadn't been able to stomach the thought, too shaken up by what she was witnessing, not to mention with Geto standing right there, watching, waiting for her reaction. He'd placed a ticking time bomb in her head, and now it was going off, blowing up in her face.

"Or maybe you're wishing it was Suguru in my place," Gojo seethed in her ear. "Is that what you want? You can raise the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers together. Rescue some wayward little kids and raise them as your own – maybe have one or two of his."

"No," Utahime cried.

"I can send him here after," Gojo continued ruthlessly, squeezing her throat a little tighter. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind having my sloppy seconds. It wouldn't be the first time. He'll enjoy putting you in your place."

"No!" Utahime clawed at his hands on her throat and chest. "I want you, I want you. God, Satoru, I'm yours, please–"

"Fuck, Hime–"

Gojo fell forward, catching himself at the last second to keep from collapsing on top of her. He held her tightly against him with his hand still around her throat, propping himself up slightly on his elbow, while slipping his other hand underneath her, rubbing at her clit. There was little to no space for her to move, just her hips rutting against the blanket while Gojo fucked her from on top.

Overwhelmed and frenzied, Utahime came abruptly, her walls pulsing around his dick, and she had to bite down on the blanket to stop from screaming, muffling her voice. She didn't even care when he came inside of her, slamming into her a few more times before he shoved himself in her deep and stayed there, filling her up as much as he could. Over the sounds of her own whimpers and cries, she could hear Gojo mumbling something, swears slipping in here and there, but she couldn't focus on anything, too dazed to latch onto what he was saying.

When he finally stilled, he slumped onto his side, taking her with him, like they were spooning. He kept himself inside of her even as he grew soft, face pressed into her hair as he tried to catch his breath. He didn't let go of her either, although his grip on her throat was no longer tight, and he'd moved his other hand to her lower stomach. Still, when she wiggled a little in an attempt to get space and some air, uncomfortable with sweat and heat, he tightened, keeping her pressed against him. He wasn't going to let her go until he was ready to let her go.

"My girl," Gojo hummed, stroking her stomach. "No matter what, I had you first."

She could only whimper in response, tears streaked down her face. He raised his hand from her stomach to wipe away the tears with his fingers, tucking her sweaty hair behind her ears so he could lift himself up on his forearm and kiss behind her ear, then her cheek. The contrast was startling, so gentle and sweet compared to his cruelty before.

"Gojo," she moaned. Her skin felt like it was on fire, overheated and oversensitive, her walls twitching around his dick every time he moved a little inside her.

"I got you," he said, petting her sides. "I got you."

When he pulled his dick out of her, some of his mess came out with him, and she whimpered again. He kissed the back of her head and then rolled off the bed. She curled up on herself, bringing her knees to her chest, but then Gojo was back, forcing her to open up so he could wipe her down with a cool rag. She shivered, especially when he cleaned between her legs, taking special care with her. When he was done, he draped the blanket over her.

"So weak," Gojo chuckled, crawling into the bed with her after he tossed the rag aside. She rolled over to face him, hiding herself against his chest. "You need me to protect you – to take care of you." He smoothed her hair and then ran a hand down her back, holding her close. "You're right. I don't know what your life was like with them, but you don't have to suffer anymore. I can give you a life here – a good life, one you deserve, one where you'll be respected and loved."

He believed it. He genuinely believed it, and that was what made Utahime's heart ache the most. Gojo cupped her face and tilted her head so he could bring her lips to his. It was as possessive as it was sweet. She let him kiss her though, and, truth be told, she kissed him too. She needed it, needed that comfort and warmth. She was still scared, her heart jittery in her chest, the afterglow of pleasure turning to soreness and exhaustion.

Gojo wouldn't let her go, and Utahime knew she wasn't strong enough to fight him or her feelings for him off any longer. As for Geto… She didn't know. She honestly didn't know.

Chapter 20

Notes:

Aaand we've officially passed the 100k mark! Thanks for being with me for the ride! This was supposed to have another scene in it, but after almost hitting 6k, I decided to give that scene a chapter of its own. Yuta, Gojo, and Geto are all demanding attention - and I'm just trying to write about Utahime here. sdlkfajf

Chapter Text

When Utahime woke up the next morning, she instantly knew that things were different.

For one, her entire body ached, sore from the night's very passionate activities. She'd fallen asleep for a little soon after she and Gojo had sex, too exhausted mentally and physically to stay awake, but she'd come to an hour or so later, her body reminding her that she'd skipped lunch. The entire day had thrown her off – from seeing Yuta and Mai again, the promising step forward with Hifumi and Jiro, the inevitable crash between her and Gojo.

Worse, though she had insisted that nothing was going on between her and Geto, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Bad, good, something in between – she didn't know. All she knew was that Geto would not take this progression in hers and Gojo's relationship lying down, but she wasn't sure if that meant something for Gojo or her. It made her think back to Hifumi's innocent observation – that Geto liked her – and her stomach had turned, keeping her awake until Gojo stirred.

He'd ordered food brought to them, the two of them sticking to her room, Gojo responding to texts lazily. She could sense the aggravation from the way his phone pinged and he ignored them, the time he took to answer growing with each text. It was so strange, seeing him work with technology so flippantly. Even though he was a cult leader whose group advocated for genocide, he still had a phone bill. She'd begun to laugh when the image popped into her head, only to stop when Gojo raised an eyebrow at her.

Fuck, she was starting to lose her mind in here. Gojo was good at that.

After that, she and Gojo had, well… Needless to say, although there had been talking in between, Gojo had seemed mostly content to stick to the bed. The latter moments had not been nearly as harsh or intense as the first, but by the time he was satisfied with his work, Utahime was almost positive she couldn't have had sex if she wanted. Too sore, too tired, too much of everything. She'd whimpered from a mere graze of his fingers over her skin, and he had finally taken pity on her, letting her curl up against his side and pass out for the rest of the night.

With no window to provide natural light, she wasn't sure what time it was when she woke up, Gojo's body blocking the view of the clock. It felt early, the world outside of the bedroom quiet, but it was hard to tell. Not a lot of people came down here often, and if they did, they tended to be as silent as possible. It had taken her an embarrassing amount of time to realize that Gojo had picked a room near the non-sorcerers' quarters, probably in an attempt to keep Geto away.

It hadn't worked, not completely.

"Gojo," she whispered, wiggling in his grasp to face him. Her body protested against the movement, especially with his arm draped over her, but she didn't stop until she was flush against his chest. "Gojo, wake up."

"Mm, no," Gojo groaned, burying his face into her pillow.

Utahime slid one hand underneath his cheek, cupping his face in both her hands. "We have to get up. Your phone has been going off for the past fifteen minutes."

It was what had woken her up in the first place, the buzzing sound infiltrating her muddy dreams until she finally returned to consciousness. It had been silent for the past two minutes, meaning it would probably start ringing again here soon. She had no doubt who it was – Geto, coming to collect his wayward partner. He'd allowed him the majority of the night with Utahime, but he would want Gojo back with him for the day. They had to share him, and Geto was not good at sharing, as she'd come to realize.

When his phone did indeed start buzzing again, Gojo lifted a finger, making a move as if to use his cursed technique. She snatched his hand before he could do so, grabbing his finger and forcing him to make a fist.

"Don't be such a brat," she warned. "I don't want to get blamed."

"You won't. He's just being a dick. He knows I'm with you."

Gojo pressed his lips against her forehead, then her nose, before meeting her lips. They were sore too, bitten and bruised like a peach, and he ran his tongue along it carefully when she winced. He had certainly made a mess of her, fully intent on leaving marks everywhere on her, especially to be seen.

"I have class too," Utahime pointed out when he pulled away.

"Shit, Utahime," Gojo breathed out, resting his forehead against hers. "Professional to the end."

"I made a promise," Utahime mumbled, rubbing her thumbs over his cheeks.

Gojo hummed, his breath warm on her face. "Yeah, I suppose I did too."

He pulled back, and she let out a breath, knowing that she'd at least forced him to come to a compromise. However, before she could roll away and force herself to get out of bed, Gojo slid a hand down between them under the covers and cupped her mound, startling her so much that she almost knocked him in the chin with the top of her head. Although he didn't move to play around with her, he did slide a finger through her folds, piercing her with the tip just enough to make her suck in a sharp breath.

"Gojo, please," Utahime whined, a hint of pain lancing through her with just the small intrusion.

He smiled down at her, kissing the crown of her head. "Just wanted to make sure I filled you up enough."

Blush streaked across Utahime's cheek. She smacked him in the chest, and he pulled away, letting go of her so he could roll off the bed and away from any more potential strikes. While she hid her nakedness under the blankets, Gojo didn't seem to be the least concerned, brazenly walking around the room naked while picking up his clothes. After tossing her a wink, he slipped into the bathroom, waving at her to join him. She did not, choosing to lie in bed for a little while longer. Although she had been the one to push him to get up, she wasn't quite sure how well her body would take it.

After listening to the shower run for a while, Utahime finally dragged herself out of the bed. She had to ease herself up right, letting the blanket drop so she could properly examine the damage. Definitely a lot of marks left on her – almost as bad as when a first grade curse got the drop on her back when she was still in school. No blood had been drawn at least, although both of them had come close. She'd seen the red scratches down his back. With Infinity dropped, she'd finally managed to leave some marks on him as well for Geto to find later.

Thankfully, once she was out of bed, she found that her body wasn't as sore as she'd thought, just stiff. She squirmed when she could feel Gojo's release slip out of her, grabbing the hand towel she would've normally used to watch her face to pat down the inside of her thighs. She needed a shower, but there was a reason she hadn't joined him in the bathroom. She knew damn well that he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands to himself – and honestly, she wanted to be alone when she finally washed last night away. It would hide his mess and any tears that might come.

She pulled on a thin kimono, tying it around her waist, and was in the process of picking out clothes when a knock on the door caught her attention. Her heart jumped into her throat, thinking it might be Geto come to collect his dues or Gojo, but then Yuta's voice piped up on the other side, jittery and shy.

"Hi, um, it's me, uh– Oh, well, you know– well, you don't know– ah, you probably know by now–"

Utahime ran her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth down the bedhead, but it wouldn't do much good. "You can come in."

The door clicked unlock – only three people carried a key to the room, and she wasn't one of them – and then Yuta peeked inside, his expression sheepish, looking like he'd already started sweating on the way here.

Utahime gave him the warmest smile. "Good morning, Yuta. You look much better."

Yuta smiled anxiously. "Yeah, Mai made sure I ate breakfast, and I slept forever last night." He scratched the back of his head, a thoughtful look flickering across his face. "I guess I used more curse energy than I thought. It's sometimes difficult for me to gauge in the moment."

"You very likely did," Utahime said gently, not wanting to touch on the topic now. Maybe later, when Gojo wasn't around. She wasn't sure how much Yuta was allowed to say – or how much he'd be willing to divulge should she pry, using concern as an excuse. He'd been tight-lipped so far about everything, even his argument with Mai despite it causing a lot of distress within him, but she could sense a difference in him now. He wanted to say something. He just didn't know how.

They really had placed him between a rock and a hard place – and not just Gojo and Geto, if she was being honest. They weren't the only ones he wanted to please.

"I suppose I could've refreshed myself with my reverse curse technique, but I was more focused on–" Yuta blinked, shaking his head and the thoughts of his brain. He'd clearly had a lot going on in the past few days. "Sorry, I know it's a little early before classes, but I wanted to talk with you first–"

He cut himself off again, staring at her like he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing.

Utahime furrowed her brow. "Yuta?"

"Your neck," Yuta blurted.

"What?" Utahime touched her neck, suddenly self-conscious. She hadn't checked her reflection, so she wasn't sure what he was referring to. Had Gojo left a hickey on it? Probably. The stupid bastard had been seemingly intent on leaving her with multiple reminders of their night, probably in hopes of pissing Geto off.

Except the wide eyes and horrified look on Yuta's face didn't fit the embarrassment she expected. He rushed fully into the room, on her in a flash, and peeled her hand away from her neck. So startled, she almost didn't catch onto the fact that it was the first time Yuta had ever initiated physical contact with her, but not even he seemed to realize what he was doing.

"It's bruised!" Yuta exclaimed in horror. "It looks like–"

He held his hand just over her neck. Looking askance, Utahime caught their reflections in the mirror and finally saw what he was seeing. His fingers matched the bruises on her neck.

"Utahime…who did this?" Yuta asked, sounding both mournful and furious. "I was gone for too long. I hoped no one would bother you while I was away, but–" He jerked his hand away as if her skin had burned him, running his fingers frantically through his hair. "Gojo is going to be so upset. I failed him – I failed you ."

Completely mortified, Utahime held up her hands, desperate to calm him down. "Yuta, wait, it's not what it looks like."

"No, no, I was supposed to protect you," Yuta insisted miserably. "Let me use my reverse curse technique. I can heal you. Does it hurt?"

"Yuta, I'm fine–"

"Was it one of the commanders?" Yuta continued. His curse energy was building, like some sort of frantic electrical storm. She struggled to breathe through it, but forced herself to take a deep breath. "I can't imagine anyone else being arrogant enough to attack you – or stupid enough."

"It wasn't–"

"It's okay, Utahime," Yuta told her, his eyes so earnest that it pained her. "You can tell me. I won't– I won't do anything if you don't want me to, but I should at least speak with them. They need to know this kind of behavior isn't okay. You're too important to-to Gojo."

Utahime placed her hands on Yuta's shoulders. "It's fine, honestly. I'm not–" She let out a breath, looking him in the eyes so he knew she was being honest. "None of the commanders hurt me."

That wasn't exactly the truth, but it wasn't a lie. No one had attacked her, unless he counted Gojo. He'd just been far too…enthusiastic. Passionate. Aggressive . She could remember him squeezing her throat, not hard enough to block her airways, just enough to let her know that he could easily hurt her if he wanted. Or maybe he'd just needed her to know that he had a powerful hold on her that she could never escape. After a full night's sleep and out of the heat of the moment, she didn't know why Gojo had been so rough with her – and she didn't want to think about why she'd liked it.

Gojo knew how much attacks to her throat scared her. After all, her voice box was a vital part to her curse technique, her energy, her very soul. And he had left his impression on it.

"But…someone obviously…" Yuta's gaze dropped down to the fingerprint bruises, his shoulders sagging tiredly. A strange empty look came over him, his dark curse energy suddenly flatlining. Utahime's heart skipped a beat. She knew from experience – from Gojo specifically – that the feeling was dangerous. "Was it Geto?"

Utahime startled, jerking her hands from his shoulders. "What? No! It wasn't–"

"Oh, morning, Yuta! I didn't expect you to be here so early to escort Utahime to class."

Whipping around on her heels, Utahime watched in a mixture of horror and humiliation as Gojo swept back into the main room, wearing nothing but a large towel around his waist and a cheeky grin on his face, still somewhat wet from the shower. He was drying his hair off with another towel, no sunglasses or blindfold to be found, completely exposed.

Yuta stared for a moment, eyes sweeping from Gojo to Utahime then back to Gojo. She saw the exact moment when the lightbulb went off in his head, his confusion transforming into mortification. His face burned bright red so fast that she was almost concerned about the amount of blood that rushed to his head.

"Oh, Gojo, you're– you–" Yuta couldn't get a sentence out, lifting a hand as if to rub his head again but then dropping it because he didn't know what to do. His eyes fell back on Utahime again, the fingerprint marks on her neck next to what was obviously a hickey that he had also left. She couldn't speak either, blush burning across her face, and shook her head when he blinked at her questioningly.

Gojo had the audacity to give him a sheepish look. "I may have gotten a bit…overenthusiastic in our love making."

Utahime slapped a hand over her face. "Gojo, please!"

"You said that a lot last night too," Gojo teased.

"Ah, right, uh, well, I think–" Yuta took a step back away from Utahime, as if trying to distance himself from her – an appropriate distance that Gojo, possessive as he was, would prefer. The struggle he was facing now was so obvious that she almost laughed, except she was too embarrassed herself. Gojo obnoxiously flirting with her in front of him was one thing, but he couldn't seem to handle Gojo's very forward comments about their sex life. He looked everywhere around the room but them. "I'm…glad you were able to work things out?"

Gojo tugged on her hair. "In more ways than one."

"Stop it!" Utahime hissed furiously. "You're so embarrassing!"

Yuta lifted a hand to shield his eyes, his face still bright red as he stared intently at the ground. "Gojo, I know you really like Utahime, but could you please be more careful with her? She's not–"

He cut himself off, wincing at his words, but she didn't need for him to finish to know what he was about to say. She's not like us. She wasn't as strong as them. For some reason though, it didn't sound like an insult or teasing remark coming from him, just genuine concern. He was worried about her, even though the one who had given her the marks had been Gojo and not with the intent to cause harm.

"Aw, you don't need to worry so much, Yuta," Gojo insisted. "Utahime was a very willing and enthusiastic participant."

"I don't think– I don't think she would want you to humiliate her like that." Yuta cleared his throat, dropping his hand but still keeping his eyes averted. "I'll wait for you in the classroom. It'll be nice to see Hifumi and Jiro again."

Utahime lifted a hand to reach out to him but stopped herself at the last second. "Yuta–"

He gave her an awkward smile, but he wouldn't look at her either. "I'm just relieved you're okay."

Before she could say anything else, he slipped out of the room, leaving her and Gojo alone again. Utahime's stomach did a strange flip, even though she could hear Gojo snickering behind her. It had been all in good fun for him, who had taken the thing in stride, treating it like a dad embarrassing his son. She could remember blushing shyly over seeing her parents kiss in front of her, but this was mortifying. Even worse, while Yuta had obviously been humiliated, she got the sense that something else was wrong too.

His anxiety hadn't vanished once he realized that Gojo was the one who left those marks on her.

"You're such an ass," Utahime muttered, moving to step around him to hide in the bathroom.

Gojo grabbed her arm before she could get away, pulling her back to him. "Aw, c'mon, I was only teasing. He's such a shy boy. I'm not even sure if he's had his first kiss yet."

Utahime slapped his chest and jerked on her arm, but he didn't let go of her. "That was mean and you know it."

"He was worried about you," Gojo said, "but he should know that he doesn't have to worry about you with me." He touched her neck gently, his fingertips brushing over the skin, and examined her carefully. "I did more of a number on you than I realized though, so I'm sorry about that. It's not painful, is it?"

"No, it's–" Utahime touched his fingers over hers on her neck. "You were so aggressive."

A little smile flickered across Gojo's face. "I didn't scare you, did I?"

He had. She didn't want to admit it, but she had been frightened as much as she was overwhelmed by him. Logically, even in the heat of the moment, she had known he wouldn't actually hurt her. He wouldn't do more than she couldn't handle – and she could handle a lot, as it turned out. She had when they were teenagers, two stupid kids pushing and pulling at one another, and she had when she was adult and everything had gone to shit after he left them behind. One might say that he was the reason she was as strong as she was.

But that didn't mean she wasn't afraid too. As insistent and forward as Gojo was about his feelings for her, there was still so much up in the air, and some certainties were even more terrifying once set in reality. Gojo had wanted her, and he had her, and she knew now that nothing would've stopped him. If she had fought against him more, if she had begged him to stop or told him no, would he have? Would he have accepted her rejection? He didn't have to, those marks evident as such.

"No," Utahime finally settled on saying. "You're just a needy brat in the end."

Gojo snorted. "Mean girl. Gonna get me hard again."

Utahime rolled her eyes. "Don't be gross. I don't have time for that right now."

Still holding onto her arm, Gojo leaned down to press his forehead against hers, sliding his hand from her neck to cup her jaw and her cheek. "I wouldn't hurt you."

She closed her eyes instinctively with him, taking in a deep breath. "I know."

He had already – multiple times. It didn't seem to matter some days.

"But Yuta is right. I should be more careful with you." Gojo kissed her, far gentler than he'd been the previous night. When he pulled away, he brushed his thumb over her lips, taking note of their fullness. "I let myself get lost in the moment. I just wanted you so badly, and I–" He took a breath. "I've never handled jealousy well. It's not something I've experienced often, so I never know what to do when I feel it."

Utahime's shoulders sagged. "There's nothing to be jealous of."

"Right, of course. You're mine, aren't you?"

Pulling away from him, Utahime cupped his face and gave him a tremulous smile. "You made sure of that, didn't you? It's going to be hell trying to cover myself up."

"I'm not sorry about that," Gojo told her. "Suguru can seethe about it to himself."

Utahime fought the urge to let out a sigh, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door. Leaning back against the door, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That was what she was afraid of too.

After washing herself as thoroughly as possible and dressing, Utahime did her best to hide the marks that Gojo had left on her, but despite the fact that her usual miko outfit did well in hiding the majority of her body, Gojo had also done his best to make sure that she wouldn't be able to hide them all. The smile on his face had been quite smug when she finally slunk out of the bathroom somewhat defeated, not vanishing even when she glared at him and told him to shove off. She'd lifted the collar of her kosode as much as she could, but without any makeup to use as cover-up, there wasn't much she could do.

Gojo had spun his blindfold around his finger, offering a teasing, "You can wear this around your neck, if you want," and she'd had to fight the urge to strangle him hard enough to leave marks around his throat.

She wasn't about to wear that damn thing like some sort of collar, a sign of Gojo's ownership over her.

With Yuta already gone to the classroom, Gojo walked her there. Running late as she was now, she didn't have time for breakfast, choosing to skip the kitchen. She could perhaps send Yuta there to retrieve the meal they normally made her, not wanting to waste the staff's time, but her stomach was too tied up in knots to eat anyway. Gojo was all over her the entire walk, touching her arm, back, her hair. He couldn't let go of her, unwilling to part from her just yet. His fawning was painfully obvious to everyone they passed, their curious eyes snapping away the moment they realized she'd noticed.

It was ridiculous, but Utahime couldn't help the paranoia that started to build up inside her. They knew. Everyone knew. Fuck, they'd probably heard the two of them having sex. It wasn't like she'd been quiet. Gojo had made sure of that too.

When they reached the classroom, Gojo pulled her aside briefly so he could kiss her again. "Have a good day, Hime."

Utahime pushed him away from her, blushing horrendously. "Stop being so obnoxious!"

Gojo gave her a cheeky grin. "What? I think it's kind of nice – being this domestic. It's like I'm sending you off to work. I can bring you lunch too."

"You're so–" Utahime closed her eyes and held up a hand to stop him from jumping in. Taking a breath, she opened her eyes to give him a serious glare. "You've already embarrassed me enough today. I wouldn't be surprised if Yuta won't even be able to look at me today."

"Maybe it'll serve as some inspiration for him," Gojo offered, not even a hint ashamed.

Not wanting to deal with him any longer, Utahime huffed. "Don't you have important things to do? Surely with both clans having been spoken with, you'll have some serious decisions to make."

Gojo wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, don't remind me."

"We all have our burdens to bear," Utahime replied dryly. "You shouldn't have become a cult leader if you didn't want any."

Despite her cutting remark, Gojo snuck in one last kiss before she could completely detangle herself from him. She barely avoided him patting her on the butt when she slipped into the classroom. She determinedly did not look back when he quipped, "Have fun! Lots of learning!" The poor teacher struggled to bow both quickly and politely, caught off guard by Gojo's sudden appearance.

When she entered the back room, Yuta was already inside with Jiro and Hifumi, the two children and their curses hounding him from his spot against the wall.

"Sorry it took me so long," Utahime sighed as she shut the door. "It's hard to shake Gojo."

"It wasn't an issue," Yuta insisted, although she noticed that he didn't look up at her as she spoke. He was smiling at the children though, so she took it as a good sign. "Hifumi and Jiro were just telling me about all the progress they've made. I'm really proud!"

"Yuta won't tell us why he was gone," Hifumi said, a stubborn pout written across her face.

"Did you fight someone?" Jiro asked, a little more concerned.

"Did you kill someone?" Hifumi added, sounding more eager than what was healthy.

An uncomfortable look flashed across Yuta's face, as if he'd sensed the same thing Utahime had, so she jumped in before he could awkwardly respond. "Yuta was sent to do an important job, so he can't tell us right now. We should be nice and respect him instead of making him feel uncomfortable."

"But what kind of important job?" Hifumi whined.

Utahime tried to think of something that might assuage their curiosity before settling on, "He was protecting someone."

"Like he protects you?" Jiro asked.

"Yes," Utahime said with a nod. "Like he protects me."

A little frown tugged at Jiro's lips. "Is that why you're hurt? Because Yuta was gone?"

Utahime furrowed her brow. "What? I'm not–"

"Your neck," Hifumi blurted, pointing at her own. "Who hurt you? Is Yuta gonna kill 'em? What about Geto? I don't think he'd like someone hurtin' you. Was it Gojo? He's a weirdo ."

If a hole could open up in the earth and swallow her hole, it would be too kind. Utahime blushed furiously, and when she glanced sideways at Yuta, she found him determinedly staring at the wall like it might save him, his own cheeks red with embarrassment. This would not be the last time that someone would bring this up. If Mai saw the marks, she would no doubt bring them up, with a delighted sense of glee. And Geto…

That was kind of the point, she supposed.

"I'm not hurt," Utahime told them, "and Yuta isn't going to kill anyone." She settled a firm look on them. "That is a very serious thing. It's not something to be casual about. Sorcerers should only use that as a last resort when they defend themselves or protect people or when they're dealing with curses."

Jiro's gaze dropped down to his curse. "Like when Geto protected us."

Utahime opened her mouth, but she couldn't find the words to say. Once again, she was reminded of the horrors they'd gone through – and what they'd seen Geto do to end that nightmare for them. He had killed the non-sorcerers that had abused them. Utahime couldn't find it in herself to feel pity for them or blame him for what he'd done. She just wished that he had spared them that last sight too.

"Yes," she finally said, a little beleaguered, catching Yuta peering at her. "Like when Geto protected you."

With the children mostly appeased, she was able to get them in their seats and start the day's lesson. From the very brief time they'd stepped outside on their way here, she had noted that it was a nice day. If things progressed well, she really wanted to take them outside, maybe bring a few children from the main class along with them. They'd feel more comfortable in the open space with the twins' curses lingering in the background. They'd assimilated well yesterday, so perhaps she could finally start building the bridge between them again.

She wouldn't leave them though. She'd make sure they understood that their growth did not mean her abandonment.

The day, as it turned out, was a surprisingly good one. With Yuta back in the room, the children were eager to show him just how behaved they were, as if the few days he'd been gone meant that they'd grown leaps without him. They were more diligent than usual, though their eyes did stray to him. Every time, he would wag a finger at them, and they'd either go back to their classwork or return their attention to her lesson. During lunch, she slipped into the main classroom to speak with the teacher about her idea. He was a little hesitant at first but agreed it was a good idea, stating that he could pick out a few students to accompany them.

"Why don't we ask?" Utahime suggested. "Some might be more interested in others, and it'll inspire others next time. Children are more likely to do something if given a choice."

He blinked at her for a moment before nodding. "You're very good at this."

Utahime shrugged. "Teaching? I should hope so. I've been doing it for years."

"Guiding," the teacher corrected. "I'll confess that I didn't think much of you before, no offense."

"None taken," Utahime snorted. "It's not like I've a good name on your side."

The man's lips curled upward into a strange smile. "Right, our side." He lowered his eyes, his cheeks warmer than before. "I assumed you were one of Gojo's…conquests, and he was tossing you in here to…keep you entertained. I didn't anticipate you would be so serious or invested in this."

Shoulders sinking, Utahime let out a sigh, trying very hard not to touch the marks on her neck that he had surely seen and not mentioned. "I suppose I do look like that to everyone else."

"You genuinely care about Hifumi and Jiro – about all the children, actually." He swallowed, tapping a pen on top of a stack of papers. Classwork from the other students, their childish penmanship easy to distinguish. "You did more for them in a few days than I ever could. I was…envious of you, but then I realized… You couldn't just be a teacher. You've only taught under hardships, haven't you? They aren't so different from your past experience."

Extreme circumstances, as Yuki would joke around. It wasn't really a joke though, not when it was their reality.

Instead of answering, Utahime gave a polite bow. "Let me know when you plan on asking your students. I'd like to try this three times a week for now, unless they want more. Maybe we can go out as an entire class, together."

He actually blushed. "Oh, don't say it like that. Either Gojo or Geto would have my head on a pike. It's already been enough pressure working somewhat alongside you."

Utahime frowned. "Don't worry about them."

It wasn't just that he was nervous about getting mixed up with her. She didn't like the implication that Gojo and Geto would be displeased with anyone encroaching on her time and space. Gojo had isolated her enough, though he'd made sure to keep a select few around her so she wasn't entirely alone. It wasn't lost on her that she'd only seen Mei Mei once. No doubt he wouldn't want her to cause any trouble, and Mei Mei had been prone to shield her from them back when they were younger.

Still, after this on top of Hifumi's comments, it was obvious that Gojo wasn't the only one whose behavior with her had made an impression. She could only guess what other people thought – and how these marks, so diligently left behind by Gojo, would only throw fuel to the fire.

Even with neither of them around, she could sense their presence looming over her, a sun and moon constantly following her day and night, both light and shadow overwhelming her. It pissed her off, thinking that people saw them whenever they looked at her, especially knowing that it would set Gojo off. She hoped that the previous night and this morning had cooled his blood, but this was only a momentary hint of relief.

A confrontation with Geto was inevitable. Every iteration of his name made her feel like she was one step closer to clashing with him – and she honestly didn't know what his reaction would be. In the end, Gojo, as erratic and aggressive as he'd been with her, was easy to predict. He was safer in that she mostly knew him. Geto, on the other hand, was unpredictable. She could not anticipate his anger or his humor, and that was dangerous indeed.

Chapter 21

Notes:

I've been in an INSANE mood for GetoHime, so I had to write for this fic, knowing that the next two chapters are going to be very GetoHime and SatoSuguHime heavy. :))) Also, I'm just so weak for Mama Hime and Yuta basically being her son. Blame me rewatching JJK 0.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As it turned out, Geto was full of surprises, the main one being that he did not confront her that day – nor the day after. Not that it mattered, seeing as how Gojo made certain to leave his mark on her each night. He fawned over the bruises and hickies, paying special attention to them, as if he had to touch them up the following nights. Even if she asked Yuuta to heal them for her, she knew Gojo would make them anew when he saw her again. He couldn't let it go, obsessing over them, smiling as he trailed his fingers over each mark left behind on her body.

"Sorry," he would mumble, a sheepish smile on his lips, but she didn't find it very genuine. He didn't squeeze her throat nearly as tight as he had that first night, although he did like to lay his hand there, as if to feel her jittery pulse.

At least no one had said anything about it since that first day. She caught Hifumi frowning in her direction multiple times throughout the day, her eyes on a hickie visible over the collar of her kosode, but neither she nor Jiro mentioned it. Yuta determinedly did not look at the marks, doing his best to pretend as if they didn't exist, but she did notice the tense smile on his face when Gojo showed up after classes were over the night before.

He hadn't been pleased, one of the few times Utahime had seen him unhappy with Gojo.

Three days later, nearing the end of lessons for the day, Utahime tried not to think about how exhausted she was. Gojo might use sugar and caffeine to keep his mind wired at all times, but she wasn't like him. It wasn't even that Gojo kept her up all night; he simply wore her out, the point where even a solid eight hours of sleep didn't feel like enough. He'd mellow out in time, she knew, when the excitement wore off, but it had still taken a lot of convincing to shove him off her this morning. The idiot got the crazy idea in his head to fill her up before she went to teach, and she was not about to suffer that sort of humiliation on top of everything else.

As she sat outside, Utahime was admittedly dazing off some, her attention vaguely on the children playing in front of her, when the teacher, Ishihara, suddenly jerk upright and then bow lowly. She thought it might be Gojo again, already rolling her eyes in preparation for him to pepper her with affection, only to stiffen when she heard someone else's voice, "I hope I'm not disrupting anything."

Sensing Ishihara's shot nerves, Utahime, despite her heart jumping into her throat, stood and turned around to face their joiner. "Of course not, Geto. This is your cult– I mean, school, after all."

Geto smiled, an amused glimmer in his dark eyes. "Yes, but this is your classroom. I don't want to intrude."

"Lessons are basically over," Utahime said. "We're simply letting the kids blow off some steam."

"It's nice seeing them all together," Geto noted.

Utahime softened just a hair. "It is."

Geto turned to Ishihara, who looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. "Utahime is pretty amazing at her job, isn't she?"

Ishihara swallowed and smiled, painfully awkward. "She is. The kids adore and respect her."

"Children are a particularly good judge of character," Geto pointed out. "They're more perceptive than people give them credit for."

Poor Ishihara's smile twitched uncomfortably. "Right, of course."

Despite the fact that he had joined their cause wholeheartedly and thrown his life into the lot, Ishihara clearly wasn't used to directly dealing with the heads of the faction. He wasn't one of the fanboys or followers obsessed with Geto and Gojo, so he didn't fawn over them like the rest. It was why Utahime liked working with him so much. He held a great deal of respect for them and admired them too – but he also feared them, so he was more apt to duck his head than speak with them. Utahime's presence had unwittingly drawn him in their crosshairs.

She liked him well enough, but she did find it a bit hypocritical too – that he could be so timid while participating in a group that advocated and carried out genocide. He wasn't as innocent as he made himself out to be. Then again, considering her position here now… Who was she to talk?

"Did you need something, Geto, or did you simply come to fluster us?" Utahime asked.

Geto's lips tugged upward again. "Did I fluster you, Utahime?"

"Yes, I'm trembling and flushed," Utahime responded flatly.

Ishihara made a little noise that sounded like a mixture between a squeak and a gasp, but Geto only laughed again. "Your sense of humor never ceases to amuse me." He relaxed, pulling his hands out from his sleeves, no longer playing the part of the traditional leader. "I actually did come here on business. I wanted to discuss something with you. We've talked about it here and there, but I wanted to expand on your idea to work individually with students."

"I–" Utahime glanced at the children, where Hifumi and Jiro were playing. They were somewhat mixed in with the crowd of other students, their curses hiding somewhere, but they were still at the edge, a little in their own world.

"I'll watch them," Ishihara offered, probably grateful to be given a reason to excuse himself. "As you said lessons are mostly over, so I can take them back inside in a bit."

Utahime bowed. "Thank you."

The action proved to fluster Ishihara, who waved his hands and started, "Oh, no, you don't have to–" Sensing Geto's eyes on him, he bowed even lower. "I'll take care of it."

As Utahime watched Ishihara return to the children, Utahime let out a sigh. "You're such an ass. You didn't have to scare him."

"I did no such thing," Geto insisted innocently. "Not on purpose at least."

"You're an intimidating figure, Geto. You don't have to do that on purpose."

Geto tilted his head. "But I don't scare you."

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. He did. He didn't. It was always hard to gauge things with him. She caught the way his eyes fell to the marks on her neck, but it was only for a second and then he'd lift his eyes to her face again. It would only be a matter of time before he brought them up, but she honestly didn't know what he would say or how he would react. She didn't think he would respond with outright jealousy or any sort of violent or frightening behavior, but sometimes, cold and calculating was even worse, and she knew Geto had the brains to do damage.

Unfortunately, it was impossible for her to concentrate on Geto when something else was distracting her – namely the wave of dark and powerful curse energy that she could feel building up behind her. It was starting to make her stomach turn, and if she was being affected, it was only a matter of time before it bled into everyone else.

Taking a deep breath, Utahime tilted her chin up. "Can you excuse me for a second?"

Geto nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you."

Without a word of explanation, Utahime turned on her heels and made her way directly toward Yuta. He was at the edge of the field, leaning against the building with his arms folded across his chest, but even with his eyes on the kids, she knew his focus had been on her moments ago. She could feel his curse energy radiating from him, growing stronger and thicker by the moment, anxious in all the worse ways. He had tried to hide his concern, but when he spotted Utahime walking toward him, his shoulders sank.

"Yuta," Utahime started carefully.

His eyes brightened. "Yes?"

Utahime forced her body to relax. "I need you to calm down."

Yuta blinked. "What? I'm not–"

"Your curse energy," Utahime pointed out. "It's slipping out in waves. Sometimes, that can be comforting – yes, even yours – but not in this case. You're clearly agitated, and it's having an effect on others."

She gestured to the children, whose play had begun to halt, a few of them getting into minor spats while Ishihara tried his best to coral them. Strangely, Hifumi and Jiro were the calmest, the two of them paired up and talking together. They must've recognized it as Yuta's curse energy and weren't afraid of it, his own the closest to theirs due to Rika.

"Oh." Yuta's shoulders sank, and so did his curse energy. "Sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean to…"

"I know you didn't," Utahime reassured him. "You're worried about me, aren't you."

"Yes," Yuta admitted, averting his gaze to the ground. "Geto makes you nervous. He always has, but I noticed it was worse after I came back from that meeting with the Zen'in clan. Did… Did something happen while I was gone?"

Utahime's mind instantly flashed back to the classroom that night: Geto's words – "This isn't about Satoru. It's about you and me." – the weight of his dark gaze focused entirely on her and his finger under her chin, the press of his lips against hers – so tender and gentle until he showed the passion behind it. She couldn't tell Yuta about that. He wouldn't understand, and, even worse, he would feel guilty for not being there to defend her. After Gojo's antics with her, she was sure he saw her as Gojo's now more than ever. Geto being here without Gojo was a clear move on the board.

"I appreciate your concern," Utahime told him, "but you don't need to worry."

Yuta smiled awkwardly. "It's kind of my job to worry about you."

"It is, and you do a fabulous job of it," Utahime said with a short laugh. "But Geto and I have come to a truce of sorts." She thought so, at least. That was, of course, before she and Gojo had…progressed to the next level of their relationship. Still, it seemed ridiculous that he might do something to her in public. If he'd wanted to hurt her, he would've waited until she was alone. "Getting worked up won't solve anything, although I understand why you feel this way, but trust me, Geto won't hurt me."

That smile fell from Yuta's face, replaced by a rather ashamed look. She went to question him, but then, with his eyes turned toward the children, he murmured, "It's not Geto I'm worried about."

Utahime's heart dropped. "Oh."

Yuta tried to give her another smile, tremulous as it was, but he couldn't fake it, not all the way. "You're a very good person, Utahime. I don't want you to get hurt more than you have been, and he's not made it easy on you."

If her heart could fall any further, it would be on the ground. All Utahime could manage was a simple, "Yuta…"

And then Geto stepped in, having appeared behind her, "Listen to her, Yuta. You don't need to worry. I won't let anything bad happen to her." He touched the bow in her hair, barely grazing her head, the simple touch sending a bolt down Utahime's spine that she barely managed to contain. "Utahime is very precious to us, isn't she?"

Yuta was at a loss for words, looking between her and Geto, but then he lowered his head respectfully. "She is."

"No need to be so serious, kid," Geto told him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Yuta stood upright, looking betwixt more than anything else, so much so that Utahime actually felt the urge to laugh. "We've been working you too hard. I see it now. Between the missions, watching over Utahime, and especially protecting Mai during the Zen'in clan meeting, you must be exhausted and in need of a break."

Quick to respond, Yuta shook his head. "No, I'm fine."

"Yuta, please," Geto insisted gently. "You don't need to pretend like you can do everything. You need some time to yourself. That's important too." Yuta shifted on his feet, obviously uncomfortable, but he didn't argue. Utahime wouldn't either. Gojo and Geto had put him through the ringer. "Mai should be finishing up with Mei Mei. Why don't you bring her dinner? I'm sure she would appreciate that."

At the mention of Mai, Yuta's demeanor changed immediately. His body relaxed and his face softened, a rather thoughtful look coming over him. There was even a noticeable dip in his curse energy. "She would be surprised if I did that. She almost always brings me dinner or reminds me to eat."

Geto clapped him on the shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "You should do that. Take the night off. I'll watch over Utahime and make sure she's okay. And don't worry about Satoru. I'll speak with him myself."

"I…" Yuta looked to Utahime, obviously trying to hide his anxiety. "If that's okay with you? I don't want to leave if you're…"

If she was uncomfortable. He wouldn't say it aloud, but they all knew what he meant. He was growing bolder, despite the hesitance in his voice. She couldn't help but wonder what Geto thought of that – if he liked it as much as Gojo did, if Gojo would even like it if he knew that boldness was moving against him too.

Utahime nodded. "I'm fine."

"Before you leave though," Geto added, "could you use your reverse curse technique on Utahime?" Yuta froze, eyes flickering back and forth, and even Utahime stiffened. "Satoru has humiliated her enough. It's no longer a matter of pride. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way – like a prize to be paraded about. You agree with that, don't you?"

Once more Yuta hesitated, but then he admitted, "Yes. It's…rude." He gave Utahime a woeful look. "You always look so embarrassed if anyone brings it up, and it's obvious you're uncomfortable with it." His eyes fell on the marks, the first time he'd looked at them since that first morning. "You put a hand over them throughout the day, like you're trying to cover them up, whenever you're thinking or stressed out."

It was hard to hide the surprise that flashed across Utahime's face, only for her to realize that she'd started to lift a hand to cover the marks up the moment Geto had brought them up. She began to lower her hand, embarrassed and ashamed, caught off guard when Geto grabbed it.

"Satoru needs to learn that he can't treat you like this," Geto told her, looking her directly in the eyes. "He might be a little put out – he loves seeing his handiwork – but he won't get mad at you, I promise."

Utahime swallowed. "Right."

Geto let go of her hand and took a step back, nodding to Yuta. "Go on then."

The only person Utahime had ever seen use reverse curse technique was Shoko. She was highly valuable, her ability unique and almost impossible to describe, to the point where she was often kept hidden and out of sight, lest Gojo and Geto do something about her. What they might do was beyond them, but no one had been hurt worse by their betrayal than Shoko. She'd never quite been the same after Gojo turned sides, her once gentle curse energy growing a little colder. Utahime had always associated it with warmth, but in time, it felt more like an ice pack than a soothing touch.

Therefore, it surprised even her when curse energy enveloped Yuta's hands and she felt the same thing as she had from her best friend – except it was the old warmth from before, a kindness that curse energy didn't normally allow since it was born of negative emotions and thoughts. She could only watch, slightly in awe, somewhat in pain, as Yuta stepped forward and placed his hands near her neck, not quite touching her. A warm feeling overcame her, seeping into her bones, knitting itself under her skin, until she knew, even without a mirror, that all the marks on her body were healed.

"There," Geto hummed in approval. "As good as new."

Yuta's eyes flickered to her face – specifically the scar – but he didn't say anything. She had caught him eyeing it a few times, but he'd never asked how she got it.

"Thank you," Utahime said, as gently as she could manage.

Yuta smiled, a hint bashful, but there was something sad about it too that she couldn't quite place. "Of course."

He bowed to them both and then made his way to the children to say goodbye. Hifumi and Jiro ran up to him immediately, although he waved a hand to make sure their curses didn't come barrelling through the crowd of students. His curse energy had dimmed down quite a bit, returning to a normal level where she didn't feel overwhelmed or smothered. She could breathe easy again, hoping that he'd be able to relax upon spending time with Mai, doing something other than work. She just wanted him to have the time to be a teenager for once.

Still, her job here wasn't done yet, not by a longshot, so she turned back to face Geto. "Okay, I'm ready now."

"You care about Yuta quite a bit, don't you?" Geto said instead.

Utahime rolled her eyes. "That's a stupid question. Of course I do."

"I was teasing Gojo before when I said that Yuta was becoming more loyal to you than him, but I wasn't that far off, was I?"

His tone, knowing and steady, unsettled Utahime, but she brushed it aside, sensing the bait. She wouldn't take it, wary of putting Yuta in the middle of something even worse, so she turned it back on him instead. "Why are you being so considerate of me all of a sudden? Is this some sort of show you're trying to put on for Yuta?"

"You expected me to be furious with you," Geto said.

As much as she hated to admit he was right, Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded. Perhaps he wouldn't show it, but he'd be quietly seething over it, knowing that her and Gojo's relationship had tipped over the line – whatever their relationship was. She doubted either of them could describe what they meant to Gojo or what he meant to them.

"Can't I care about you on my own? Must there be an ulterior motive?" Geto asked, frustratingly calm. "Contrary to my behavior when Satoru first brought you here, I don't want to see you humiliated, especially if we're going to work together. If I'm angry, it's toward him for his childish behavior, not you for suffering the brunt of his…affection."

"What a change of heart," Utahime muttered.

"I don't think Satoru intended to purposely humiliate or shame you in any way," Geto explained, "but he's a petulant and more prideful than he realizes. He hurt you, as he did when we were younger, and I don't like seeing that. He wanted to show you off after, well…"

Utahime blushed, and her stomach turned. Logically, she had known that Geto already knew that things had grown much more intimate between her and Gojo, but hearing him confirm it out loud somehow made it even worse. "Sorry for stealing him from your bed. You can have him back, if that helps."

"Split custody?" Geto joked. "Every other day?"

"You can have him all week. I'll take the weekends."

"I don't think he could stand to be apart from you for that long now that he's had you," Geto pointed out. "Besides, I'm quite enjoying my break. It's like sharing the load."

"Happy to be of service." Utahime huffed, looking away from him, although she was unable to settle on anything in particular, her mind drifting to Gojo's reaction to her unblemished skin.

There was a slight lull in the conversation, though not an awkward one, when Geto suddenly asked, "And what about you?"

Her mind distracted, Utahime didn't quite understand him, humming a simple, "Hm?" as she turned to face him again, only to be caught off guard by the intense way he was looking at her. It didn't feel right for the time or place, outside during a sunny day with the sounds of children being corralled to go back inside, taking her back to that night in the classroom.

"Those marks on you were left for me," Geto stated. "I wouldn't go so far as to say they were a threat, but they were definitely a warning. He wanted me to know that you're his." He tilted his head, his eyes traveling over her again, seeing the marks that Yuta had healed and perhaps the ones on the inside that he hadn't been able to touch. "Satoru has only ever experienced jealousy when it comes to you. It's never been an issue with me, because we were always on par with each other, the only ones at our level."

Utahime wanted to say, Gojo has no reason to be jealous, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth, not with the way Geto was looking at her now. He didn't. If she had been too worried over his reaction to heal the marks and bruises he'd left on her, there was no way she would do anything else to personally betray him like that. Geto knew that. He'd experienced it firsthand.

"I can't say that I feel the same way," Geto admitted. "My life has been marred by jealousy in so many different ways. I've learned how to deal with it, and I thought I knew how to deal with you, but I was wrong."

He lifted his hand, and she froze as his fingers grazed over her neck, his thumb nestling against her pulse point, mimicking the ghost of Gojo's fingers. Utahime held her breath, feeling her chest swell with air, but constricted as her throat was, she wouldn't have been able to get it out if she'd tried. She was left to watch Geto as he gazed at her and lowered his hand further down, fingers resting over her clavicle and the heel of his palm surely feeling the frantic beating of her heart.

"Geto," she pleaded quietly. "Please."

Not here, not out in the open for anyone to see. News of the marks Gojo left on her had surely spread through the compound like a whispered wildfire, so if Utahime was seeing being touched so intimately like this by Geto, it would only make matters worse. Some of them already sneered at her as Gojo's whore. She didn't need to be thrown into bed with Geto time.

Thankfully, Geto pulled his hand away. "Sorry, I lost myself. I couldn't help but wonder."

Utahime let out a breath, distracted with smoothing out her clothes. "Wonder what?"

"What you would look like with my hand wrapped around that pretty throat of yours."

Her eyes shot up to his, taking note of the dark glee in his gaze and the sharpness of his smile. She bristled, feeling like a frazzled cat pinned against the wall, stalked into the back of an alley by a feral dog. Gojo and Geto were going to tear her apart, and the only thing she could hope to do was make it difficult for them, bite and scratch and kick as much as she could.

Refusing to take the bait, Utahime redirected the conversation, brushing past Geto to step around him. "You said you wanted to discuss ideas, so let's do that. Would you care to do it here or elsewhere? Your office?"

Geto chuckled. "Eager to be alone with me?"

"Maybe I just don't want to be seen with you," Utahime retorted.

Not one to be deterred, Geto continued, "My office would be best, I think, to keep things organized. You remember how to get there, right?"

Utahime shot him a look but then did her best to school her expression. "Yes, I do. Let me say goodbye to the students first."

"Sure," Geto said, folding his hands in his sleeves. "I don't mind waiting a bit longer."

It turned out that her students had barely managed to hold themselves back, Ishihara clearly struggling with them. The moment she turned around and met their eager gazes, Hifumi and Jiro rushed to her, their curses quick on their heels. A handful of other children came too, thanking her for letting them join her class. It was easier to smile and nod than to explain that she didn't really have a class. They had a good time using their innate techniques and playing with their curse energy, which they didn't get much time for inside.

"Hi, Mr. Geto," Jiro greeted shyly. He looked like he wanted to carry and cling to his curse, but it had grown too big for him to hold for long. Bigger and stronger every day. There had to be a limit, but Utahime wasn't sure where it would end.

"Did ya see us use our curse stuff?" Hifumi demanded, bright and aggressive as ever.

Geto laughed. "I did not. Utahime will have to let me know when you're practicing your techniques so I can see your progress for myself."

"We're getting stronger," Hifumi insisted, puffing up with pride. "Mr. Ishihara ain't so bad, I guess, but Miss Utahime is a much better teacher."

"She's the best," Jiro agreed, a little firmer than usual.

Utahime smiled. "Thank you."

Geto's hand on her arm startled her, but she tried not to let it show, especially when he rubbed it and spoke in a fond voice, "We're very grateful to have her with us and become a part of our family, aren't we?"

"Yeah!" Hifumi exclaimed, her curse making a chirping sound almost like it was agreeing too.

Taking a breath, Utahime stepped forward, Geto's hand slipping from her arm, and guided the twins to the group of other children where Ishihara was getting them in line. "Go on now. To the dorms with the others so you can rest up and get ready for dinner."

"You should come with us some time," Hifumi said as her brother started ahead of her. "You too, Mr. Geto."

"We'd love to join you," Geto said, giving her a playful bow. Hifumi beamed, so innocent and childlike, missing a tooth that had fallen out a few days prior while eating an apple during lunch, and then rushed to meet up with her brother. She and Geto watched as Ishihara herded them back inside, Hifumi and Jiro trailing in the back with their curses. "It's hard to believe they're the same kids from that night. They were in even worse shape than Nanako and Mimiko when I found them. I honestly wasn't sure if they would ever adjust."

"It's a work in progress," Utahime murmured.

"You've done very well with them," Geto told her. "You should be proud."

She was proud – of them, of Yuta, maybe with herself too. Utahime had learned how to teach under terrible circumstances. It hadn't been easy, but it had always been fulfilling. She cared deeply for Hifumi and Jiro, probably more than a teacher should for their students, but she missed the others as well.

She missed Yuuji's determination to shine light in his classmate's lives, Maki's ferocity and tenacity to help others, the excited gleam in Megumi's eyes when he managed something new with his Ten Shadows Technique, Nobara's ability to be both intense and silly at times, the rare but soft and warm smiles from Inumaki when he allowed them, Panda's gift for making everyone laugh, Miwa's genuinely kind and thoughtful nature, Momo's watchfulness that she hid from others, Kamo's secretly protective behavior, even Todo's ridiculousness that he'd no doubt gotten from Yuki.

She missed them all so damn much. She just hoped they knew she hadn't forgotten or abandoned them.

"Shall we?" Geto prompted, gesturing toward the building.

Utahime straightened her spine. "Yes, I suppose."

Geto nodded. "After you."

She might have been the one leading the way to his office, but it still felt like was guiding her into the slaughterhouse for some reason, even if he'd insisted he wasn't angry.

Notes:

It took me 21 chapters, but I finally gave that random teacher a name. You've officially made it into my OC catalogue. Good job, buddy. lmfao

Chapter 22

Notes:

If I was Utahime in this chapter, I would simply perish.

Chapter Text

The meeting with Geto went far better than Utahime could've anticipated. They spent at least three hours together, going over an assortment of things, drafting up concepts, just spitballing ideas. By the time she'd realized that they'd worked straight through the normal time she would've had dinner with either Gojo, Yuta, or Mai, the kitchens were likely winding down and cleaning up. True to form, she had insisted it was fine, but the moment Geto heard her stomach embarrassingly growl, he'd ordered food to be delivered to them.

"I can't have Satoru thinking I'm torturing you," Geto had quipped with a wink, knowing full well that it would make her stomach flip. Damn that man.

Granted, Utahime spent the first half of it wondering when he was going to pull the rug out from under her feet, but Geto remained professional until the end, forcing her to swallow a bitter pill. He was polite, thoughtful, and patient. He listened to her – properly listened – something she could say with confidence that the higher-ups had never done before. If she ever had an idea about something, whether it was a change in their teaching style or a point about defenses, she told either Nanami or Kusakabe first, both of whom would then relay it to the men governing them.

She'd learned early on that if she wanted to have a positive effect on jujutsu society, she couldn't do it directly. She wasn't like Yuki, who could face the higher-ups and countless other sorcerers head-on, and she wasn't, well, a man, so she had to learn how to be underhanded in order to make the changes she thought were necessary. It was a little shady, yes, but always done with the best of intentions.

She didn't have to do that here. Geto sat back and let her talk, even if it meant her thinking her ideas out loud until they became something more concrete. He didn't talk over her and never interrupted, waiting until she finished a thought before adding onto what she said or offering his own points of view. It was a give and take that she'd only experienced hints of, the few times when she and the other teachers were allowed to do their own things, and even then…

Out of all the teachers on that side – their side, she reminded herself – she had been the only sorcerer not ranked as a grade one. She had been up for promotion countless times and denied again and again without a single explanation. It wasn't due to her work ethic or her devotion to her students. Hell, it wasn't even her curse energy, which was stronger than average. Maybe compared to other grade one sorcerers it wasn't anything to write home about and her innate technique wasn't a powerhouse or devastating, but still, she deserved it.

As much as it hurt her to think about, Utahime was starting to see how differently she was treated. Compared to the way Geto had treated her, even if it was just for show to put her at ease and make her feel like she belonged, the people she had worked with before hadn't treated her with as much consideration. Oh, she knew they respected her. Utahime would never fault them for that. They knew she was worth far more than she was given credit for.

But they likely pitied her. Poor Utahime, the only survivor of Gojo's day of reckoning. She hadn't even survived on her own accord, having been spared by Gojo at the last second. A moment of weakness, a hint of pitying, because all the other sorcerers he'd killed that day had been worth something.

And then there was the way they would look at her sometimes when Gojo was brought up. Had they known of his true feelings for her? Did they have an inkling of why he'd truly sparred her that day? They must've felt bad for her, maybe even a little ashamed, because no one had said a damn thing. They had to have known, she thought, all of them glancing at each other, feeling bad that she didn't seem to have a clue, maybe hoping that he would forget her eventually, knowing it was a false hope since Gojo didn't forgive or forget anything.

Knowing it was only a matter of time before he grew impatient and he came for her, and the higher-ups had known that as well, either counting on it to capture him in a moment of weakness or expecting her so-called betrayal.

It didn't inspire a lot of hope in Utahime now, not as she lay in bed the following evening, wondering what the hell had happened to the world that she found herself more appreciated and wanted here .

Utahime squeezed her eyes shut and repeated the mantra she'd been using as a reminder: Your students need you, your peers trust you, your friends miss you. Do not let them sway you.

They were good though. She couldn't deny that no matter how much it frustrated her. Ditch the horrifying genocide of all non-sorcerers, and Utahime might've fallen for them too, especially after the level of respect she'd been shown and adoration she'd experienced.

"They love you – Hifumi and Jiro, I mean, even Yuta and Mai. It's not just respect. That sort of blind loyalty isn't easy to come by."

But Utahime didn't want blind loyalty. That wasn't what she sought whenever she taught. Of course, it was easy to tell herself that now. Had she experienced it before though? Nobara, Maki, and Momo had often grumbled about the treatment of female sorcerers, always preferring to go to her or Yuki than others. Noritoshi had preferred her too, often asking her to go with him whenever he had to deal with clan business. It hadn't been easy on them. They were children, and she'd done whatever was in her power to protect them, teach them, nurture them.

"You can't be everything to them," Nanami had once pointed out.

But shit, she could fucking try, right?

" Utahime ," an annoying voice came from the other side of the door, singsonging just loud enough to be heard. She could picture Gojo on the other side, hands folded behind his back while rocking on his heels. She was lucky to have been spared one night without him, but Geto must've corralled him after their meeting, insisting that she was too exhausted to deal with his possessive antics. "Hime, I know you're awake."

With a huff, Utahime dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe, and snapped, "What do you want?"

"I missed you and wanted to see you," Gojo said, so emphatically that she could hear the pout on his face. "Is that too much to ask?"

"Actually–" Utahime grabbed the door handle without thinking, surprised to find it already unlocked, and ripped the door open to reveal Gojo standing there, just as she suspected. "Maybe it is. I can only see you on your time. How far is that to me? I'm just left here to wonder and wait if you want me or–"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry," Gojo cut in hastily, clasping her hands in his. "It's quite rude of me, isn't it?"

Utahime huffed, her shoulders sinking. "What do you want?"

"Indulge me for a moment, please," Gojo insisted, still holding onto her. She glowered at him, but he looked at her with such endearing eyes, unhidden by his blindfold, that she couldn't help herself. She should have, knowing damn well that he was just manipulating her, but she sighed and relaxed her body, giving him the signal that she was relenting to him. He instantly brightened up and then tugged her out of her room. "Great!"

"What–?" Utahime staggered forward, nearly falling on her face, but Gojo caught her, never one to miss a beat. She hadn't even been given a chance to put on a pair of slippers, her bare feet slapping on the wood floor with each step. He had probably shut the door, not wanting anyone to get a glimpse into her life – their life – but he left her no time or room to complain as he dragged her down the hallway. "Where are we going?"

Gojo threw her a look over his shoulder, a little smile that she couldn't read. "You'll see."

Utahime gritted her teeth. "Gojo–"

"This is for you," he told her without missing a beat or step. "I promise."

From what she could gather, they were heading in the direction of his bedroom. Perhaps he had some sort of surprise for her, an attempt to make up for his possessive behavior that had ended up embarrassing her, but when they passed the door to his room, she furrowed her brow. So that wasn't the destination. She wracked her brain, thinking of where he might be taking her or what he wanted to show her, but she couldn't think of anything. Perhaps…a new room? One closer to him? He'd placed her in a room in the servant quarters for a reason – a point made to deter Geto – but maybe, after they'd crossed that boundary, he felt safe enough to bring her to their side.

However, when Gojo pulled her into a room, she was surprised to already find it furnished. It took her a few moments of looking around, but when she finally realized where they were standing, she blushed furiously.

Gojo had brought her to Geto's quarters.

"Why did you bring–?"

"You arrived quicker than I anticipated," Geto's voice interrupted from behind. Utahime startled like a spooked foal and spun around to see Geto slowly closing the door behind him. She heard the lock click in place. His eyes were locked on hers, as if to confirm with her that he'd indeed locked it, and then swept over to Gojo. "Eager, are you, Satoru?"

For all the energy that had been brimming in him, the smile on Gojo's face was tight-lipped. "Eager to get this over with."

Geto shook his head. "Lessons like this take time. You know that."

"What do you mean?" Utahime demanded, her voice far too jittery.

She'd thought that she had been in a decent place with them, especially after how well the private meeting with Geto had gone, but maybe she'd only been lying to herself. All that time, she'd waited for the other shoe to drop or for Geto to turn the tables on her, but instead of doing it then, he had waited over a day later, dealing a devastating blow. She scolded herself over ever feeling comfortable with either of them. What a stupid and foolish thought. She was such an idiot. Any peace between them would be fleeting and perhaps only a farce.

Nonetheless, Geto gave her a soft smile, the kind he'd given her the other day. "Are you scared of us, Utahime?"

She narrowed her eyes, lips twisting into a frown and then looked away. Of course she was scared, but she wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of hearing her say it aloud. Instead, she tried to get her nerves under control, but it was hard, especially when she could feel their curse energy. They weren't releasing it to their full extent, but it still permeated the air, bumping against one another like waves against a cliff. Her own curse energy inside her gut like a thin stream, practically nothing compared to theirs.

"Don't worry, this lesson isn't for you," Geto told her. "It's for Satoru."

Utahime snapped her eyes back to Geto, wide with surprise. "What?"

"Well," he continued with an indulgent smile, holding out his hands. "It is for you too but for your benefit."

Geto appeared to be nothing but earnest, so she looked over to Gojo, who looked away the second their eyes connected. He'd folded his arms across his chest, looking more like a stubborn child than a man, exactly the type of look made when someone was about to be given a lesson they didn't want to learn. She didn't understand what she was doing here, not when it sounded like something between the two men, unless it involved her somehow. But how? Everything she could think of just made her more anxious.

"What sort of lesson?" Utahime couldn't help but ask.

Was it about his jealousy or perhaps his possessiveness over her? He was acting out quite a bit, perhaps having become even more petulant with Geto than before. This was not a good time for that, not when they were making precarious headway with the Zen'in and Kamo clans. They would need to be on the same page, displaying a strong front for others to see. If they were unbalanced or divided in any way, the cracks would no doubt show and people would think to take advantage of a perceived weakness.

"I wasn't putting on a show when I told Yuta that you don't deserve to be treated this way," Geto explained calmly, stepping further into the room – and toward her. "Satoru needs to learn how to treat you with the respect and care that you deserve. He's been careless and rude, and his possessive behavior has wounded and embarrassed you."

"It's–" Utahime's eyes flickered from Geto to Gojo. "It's not that bad."

"Perhaps, but it's not okay either," Geto continued. "Satoru wants you at our side–" His soft smile flickered when Gojo made a little noise of contention. "His side. But that won't happen if he keeps you under him and continues to treat you as if you're something to be owned. You're not a toy to be played with roughly. He needs to learn to be better with you."

Realization settled in Utahime's chest, making her heart skip a beat. "And you're going to show him."

"Well, I think it's only fitting since I seem to be his worst trigger." Geto chuckled. "Call it immersion therapy. If he can learn it with me, he'll be good with anyone."

Utahime wasn't sure what this sort of lesson would entail, but she felt distinctly vulnerable in such thin clothes. It wouldn't make much of a difference if she was in her daytime clothes or not, but for some reason, the timing felt intentional, like she was meant to be thrown off or put her in a more open position. Standing in Geto's bedroom between the two men, she couldn't help but close up her robe and tie the band around it, her hands clumsy and slick.

"You look spooked," Geto said, both looking and sounding amused as he stepped closer to her. "I thought we were past that after yesterday. We had such a good time together."

Gojo's curse energy flared in the corner of the room, and Utahime scowled. "You're being an ass on purpose."

"If Satoru can't handle a few playful remarks, he'll never learn," Geto pointed out. He wasn't wrong, but Utahime still didn't like it, her silence letting him know. He was close to her now, closer than Satoru, who was now squirming uncomfortably despite the fact that nothing had happened yet. Without looking away from her, he ordered, "Sit down, Satoru."

"Don't–" Gojo hesitated, especially when her eyes flickered to him. "Don't go too far, okay?"

Geto leaned in close to her to speak to her in a low voice, just loud enough for Gojo to hear if he strained himself. "See? He's worried about you, but I wouldn't hurt you. I wouldn't humiliate you. He can't help himself, not when it's what he's done since he first laid his eyes on you, but we can teach him to be better, can't we? Maybe you were the missing piece, after all."

"Flattering me now?" Utahime asked dryly.

"You know how unruly he is," Geto said. "How demanding and unrelenting he can be." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, his face close enough that she could see just how dark his eyes were. They looked bottomless, like the cursed orbs he swallowed. It was easy to get lost in them, and she wondered just how far she would fall. "He'll consume you until there's nothing left, and we can't have that. He must learn moderation."

That was ironic, coming from Geto, but Utahime said nothing in return. She stood her ground, willing her heart to calm down so she wouldn't start trembling. Being this close to Geto made her nervous as it was, but she was on high alert now, Gojo's sharp gaze weighing on her heavily along with the memory of Geto's lips pressed against hers. The fact that Gojo was aware of that now – and Geto knew he was – made everything so much worse. Every little thing was heightened: the creak of the floor as Geto leaned forward, her blood pumping in her ears, the faint woody smell of his cologne, Gojo's defeaning silence, the tangling of their curse energy.

"Whenever you're uncomfortable with something – truly uncomfortable – let me know, and I will stop," Geto told her, his voice strangely soft. He didn't look away from her eyes, almost like he was the one magnetized. "Satoru needs to not only learn how to control himself with you but also understand where he crossed a line."

"And what about you?" Utahime asked.

Geto smiled. "I get to pretend."

It didn't seem like enough for a man like him, and for Gojo, who sat in silence with an unreadable expression on his face, it seemed like too much.

The first thing Geto did was touch her hair. It was fully down, still a little wet from the hot shower she'd taken earlier. He ran a strand of her hair between his middle finger and thumb, as if to test the texture, before wrapping it around his pointer finger, keeping the hold on it light enough to not tug her forward.

"No bow," Geto hummed. "I don't see you like this often." His gaze traveled down it, to where it rested just above her chest, and then back to her face. "You should wear it like this more often. It looks nice."

"But then I can't show off all the pretty ribbons Gojo brought me," Utahime pointed out.

Geto chuckled. "Very true. No name tag."

He allowed the strand of hair to unravel from his finger and then he cupped her face. She was suddenly struck with the realization of just how large his hands were, a fact that she'd been only distantly aware of. They were on par with Gojo's, making her feel smaller than she knew she was. Nobara and Momo were both smaller than her, but compared to the two men, she felt diminutive, weak, fragile. It was irritating.

His thumb swept across her cheek, tracing the scar. "You've never told me how you got this. It happened after I left."

Utahime swallowed. "I never told Gojo either."

"But he knows, of course." Geto glanced away from her just long enough to wink at Gojo. "No doubt he couldn't help himself. He had to know what happened to you."

"Did he tell you?" Utahime asked, fighting the desire to look over at him as well.

Geto shook his head. "No, he likes to keep his secrets with you. We've always shared everything, but it's different with you. He likes to keep things for himself. I can't deny being jealous – of wanting to know your depths as much as him."

A strange feeling swelled inside Utahime's gut, a confusing one. Geto's voice was soft and filled with wanting, sounding so genuine that it unsettled her. She didn't talk about her scar for a lot of reasons, ones she kept to herself, and so she did that now, not yet wanting to cross that line. It wasn't terrible or anything – she'd survived, after all – but the loneliness and fear she'd experienced in that moment had wormed their way into her heart, and it hadn't left her since. She'd felt it again after Gojo turned, haunting nights where she found herself standing in her classroom, the one that used to belong to him.

And she felt it here.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Geto pressed. When Utahime shook her head, he let out a sigh. "I can respect that. You're allowed your secrets too."

He spoke sincerely, but there was something about his sharp gaze that told her this wouldn't be the end of it. He would pry it out of her one day, but unlike Gojo, he could be patient. He would wait until the time was right. Perhaps that was the lesson he was trying to teach Gojo now – that he shouldn't constantly press her for answers, that he should wait until she came to him or for when she was ready. She couldn't imagine that. He had a child's patience, wanting everything immediately.

After eyeing the scar for another beat, Geto's hand slid further down her face, trailing down her cheek, only for his thumb to catch on her lips. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise as he dragged his thumb over her lips. She kept them pressed together, afraid he might dip his thumb inside if she parted them to breathe. Judging from the ghost of the smile on his face, he knew exactly what she was doing, but once more, he didn't press it. Gojo shifted noisily on the bed, discomforted by the intimate touch, but he somehow managed to keep his mouth shut, a feat for sure.

"Soft," Geto murmured. "Just as I remember."

She couldn't tamp down the blush on her face. If it was possible to catch a fever from constantly blushing, she'd be suffering greatly. As much as she wanted to berate him for bringing up the kiss, purposely trying to goad Gojo into saying something out of turn, she knew better. He was baiting her as well, waiting for her to open her mouth so he could dive in.

"Of course, you must try to stay hydrated as much as possible," he continued, sounding more like a lecturing professor, the kind of man that lulled sorcerers into listening to him so attentively. "It's important for your technique, is it not? You've always been so…careful with it. You use it sparingly. Does it take a toll on you?"

"It does, depending on the amount of curse energy she uses and for how long," Gojo blurted, unable to help himself. "But it's so beautiful, so tempting."

Geto gave Gojo a measured look but then seemed to forgive him for this one trespasse. "I've only seen her use it a handful of times, and only in short bursts," he admitted. His thumb fell from her lips, his fingers stroking underneath her chin, and then his hand moved further down. "I'd like to see more."

His fingers trailed down the side of her neck first, a light touch, barely a scrape of the nails, but then he pressed his thumb down on the other side, essentially grasping her by the throat. It was almost identical to the way Gojo had grasped her, as if Geto had memorized where exactly Gojo had left his fingerprint marks on her body. Despite herself, her curse energy fluttered nervously inside her, an anxious bird in a cage, and she stiffened when Geto pressed down a little more intently, though it didn't hurt.

It was too much, however, and even though she'd mentally sworn that she wouldn't flinch, a panicked " Geto " slipped out of her before she could stop herself.

She didn't exactly tell him to stop, but Geto understood regardless, instantly letting go of her throat.

"As I suspected," Geto said, almost like he was talking to himself more than her. "That hit a nerve." She brought a hand to where his hand had been moments before, as if she could feel where his fingers had pressed into her skin. "Your technique is derived from your voice, which, in turn, is dependent on your voicebox. The majority of your curse energy resides there as well. I could feel it. Of course you feel your most vulnerable where your throat is concerned. If someone were to injure it…"

She'd only had it happen twice – once when she was a student and a boy from Kyoto struck her in the throat during the Sister Event, and again, when she'd received the scar. Both times had frightened her deeply, to the point where she lost control of herself. The destruction she'd accidentally wrecked in her panic the last time had startled even her, and she could still feel Shoko's hands on her as she did her best to heal the damage she'd caused herself. When Gojo had wrapped his hand around her throat repeatedly, she'd felt small and defenseless, absolutely weak in his hold.

"You knew her throat was a vulnerable spot for her, and you did it anyway." Geto fixed Gojo with a firm look. "You know better than that, Satoru. How is she going to possibly trust you if you break hers repeatedly? How could she ever fully give herself to you if you do not treat her with respect or care?"

Gojo looked away, refusing to look at either of them. "I wasn't trying to scare or upset her."

"But you did," Geto pointed out, "and you must accept responsibility for that." He took in a breath, returning his gaze to her. Even without touching her, she felt unable to move. "I have to do much the same. We've been monsters, haven't we?"

"Just a bit," Utahime muttered.

A smirk tugged at Geto's lips. "Oh, I wouldn't complain too much. From the whispers I heard from the servants, you weren't entirely against Gojo's rough treatment. You gave a very vocal performance."

"I don't think Gojo would stand for me to be quiet," Utahime snapped.

"No, he wouldn't," Geto mused. "You have too pretty of a voice. He'd want everyone to hear you."

She'd feared they'd been overheard by the servants, but having it more or less confirmed was humiliating. It was no wonder the kitchen staff had struggled to meet her gaze recently. They must've thought she was just another one of Gojo's whores now – and, even worse, a fake. She tried so hard to be nice and polite to them, and yet here she was, spreading her legs for one of the men that was working on enslaving and killing them.

"Of course, he couldn't shut up either," she snipped, feeling a streak of petulance burn through her.

Geto actually laughed. "He is quite the talker, isn't he?"

He would know, wouldn't he? Utahime didn't want to think about what it was like for them – how things went between them in the bedroom – but she couldn't imagine it was the same. They seemed like the type that would both fight for dominance, maybe switch things up depending on the mood or how volatile they were feeling with each other. Geto could probably put Gojo in his place better than Utahime ever could, at least in bed. She got the sense just from whatever lesson Geto was giving him now.

This really was a show for Gojo, and she was the main attraction.

"Is this one of Gojo's splurges?" Geto asked, picking at the sleeve of her thin robe. "Mei Mei had to help him, or he was likely to try to dress you in every flimsy piece of lingerie he could dream of."

Utahime scoffed. "Of course." She didn't know whether to thank or curse Mei Mei for her help, considering it seemed to come at a price. Her former best friend helping Gojo dress up his new doll didn't sit right with her either.

"Not that I would've complained either," Geto added. "What do you think, Satoru? Red or black?"

"Red," Gojo responded, too quick for him to have not thought about it before.

"And here I thought he was going to say blue," Geto said playfully, still fingering the thin material of the robe. "He does like to dress you up in his colors. That way everyone can know who you belong to, a not-so-subtle mark of ownership. There's no denying that you're his." She rolled her eyes, the little jab not even worth countering. "But nonetheless, Mei Mei had to remind him of how much you pride yourself on your modesty. You're still so shy ."

Irritation flared in Utahime's gut, a spark of defiance, which was ridiculous. "I'm not–"

But then Geto tugged on the band of her robe, undoing it seamlessly. The nightgown underneath felt flimsy at best, a thin shift of a thing that did quite little to cover her body. She could barely breathe, much less move, as his fingers slipped over her collarbone and under the robe, lifting it just enough to slide over her shoulders. When the silky material pooled at her feet, she sucked in a little gasp, the cold air striking her bare skin.

Utahime's heart skipped a beat. Very few people had seen her so exposed before, and she didn't think Gojo would take kindly to Geto staring at her so openly.

"Cold?" Geto asked with a smile, his fingers trailing down her arms. Goosebumps pricked her skin in the wake of his touch, and she couldn't stop a shiver from shuddering through her body. Despite his eyes falling down to slowly rove over her body, lingering at the hem of the shift just above her knees, he didn't make a move to touch her inappropriately. "Need me to warm you up?"

She shook her head, unable to get a word out. She was blushing too hard to be cold, all the way down her chest, acutely aware of the fact that he would be able to see her body reacting to his touch. He'd most certainly noticed the way her nipples had peaked, completely bare under the shift. It infuriated and embarrassed her, but she couldn't stop it. Nonetheless, he kept his hands on her arms, rubbing up and down methodically, like he was trying to soothe her.

It didn't make her heart beat any less faster, especially when his fingers suggestively toyed with one of the straps on her shoulder.

"Don't," she blurted, right when Gojo growled, "Suguru."

It was too much.

"I won't," Geto said, his tone neutral and calm. It was hard to say, but she thought he looked a hint disappointed over being stopped, something glimmering in his dark eyes. When he lifted his hands from her and took a deep breath, her shoulders dropped, all the tension bleeding from her body, but her heart didn't let up. She was relieved and yet…

It had to be the adrenaline, so many mixed signals confusing her body and mind.

"You handled yourself better than I expected," Geto stated. For a moment, Utahime thought he was speaking to her, but then his eyes swept over to Gojo. He'd jumped to his feet, having finally reached his limit, a stormy look on his face. Even his eyes had seemingly grown a darker blue. Geto took another step back and gestured to her. "Go on then. Have your reward."

"Smug bastard," Gojo grumbled, sweeping over to her. The second his hands landed on her arms, she jumped, even though she'd seen him coming. He squeezed them gently when he sensed her shaking. It felt like she was coming down from a high, unable to control herself entirely. "And you get onto me about scaring her."

"I stopped when she told me to, even when I didn't want to," Geto pointed out. "That's something you could stand to learn."

"Whatever." Gojo pulled her toward him, sliding his arms around her. His actions were too obvious though. He was trying to hide her against his chest, shielding her from Geto's sight. Utahime let him, her mind and body too unsettled. She couldn't rightly say what she was feeling, except that it was something overwhelming.

Still, Utahime couldn't help but turn her head to peer back at Geto, not surprised to find his eyes on her. "Don't get jealous and act out, Satoru," he said. "She doesn't deserve to be punished."

Gojo swallowed – she could hear it, the thickness of it, his throat constricting – but his touch on her head was gentle as could be. It caught her off guard. She had been expecting him to be relentless and intense, so this softness from him, this concern, was startling too. "I know," he murmured, almost too quiet for Geto to hear.

"You should treasure her," Geto told him.

While you can, were the unspoken words that they all heard.

Utahime thought she should say something – anything to prove that she wasn't some frightened, little hare – but she didn't know what to say. Instead, she looked away, embarrassed and irritated and confused. Something had shifted between them. It was indistinct, hard for her to pinpoint, but there had been a change. Something was there that hadn't been there before – or maybe she was simply more aware of it now. The closer she and Gojo became, the more she'd realized that she would have to share him with Geto, but this was different. The lesson might have been for him, but she had been the centerpiece.

So lost in her own thoughts, Utahime didn't even realize that Geto had left them alone in the room until she felt Gojo slump against her. While his touch on her had been careful, his entire body had been taut. He let out an aggravated huff, one hand petting her hair while the other held her close against him.

"So this was for me, huh?" Utahime muttered dryly into his shirt.

"Suguru wasn't wrong," Gojo admitted. "You deserve better, and I need to be better behaved with you." He chuckled sheepishly, the sound rumbling in his chest. "For a second there, I thought Yuta might actually make a move against me. He was very troubled over this whole thing, to the point where it even concerned Suguru. He's only ever been distraught about Mai before."

Utahime frowned. "He's… He's a good boy."

"Yeah, he is," Gojo said. "And I am not." She snorted. That was one way to describe him. "But I can't expect you to be… I can't expect anything from you if I just treat you like you're an object to own. You're more than that – more than mine. I want you to feel like you belong here , not just with me."

"So what?" Utahime huffed, lifting her face away from his chest to gaze up at him. "You two are going to share me now?"

Gojo gazed down at her, his expression difficult to read again. Dark eyes, face set in stone, but there was something else he was holding back. Nervousness? Tension? It was hard to say. "If you wanted."

"Honestly, Gojo," Utahime sighed, "I just want to sleep."

A pout crossed Gojo's face. "We can't go to bed yet, Utahime. The night is still young."

"I'm exhausted after…whatever that was." Now that the adrenaline rush had dropped, Utahime felt absurdly tired. At the very least, she was emotionally drained, unable to discern what exactly had just happened. She didn't want to think about it though. All she wanted to do was curl up under a blanket, close her eyes, and think about anything but this.

"Suguru did a number on you, didn't he?" Gojo hooked a finger under her chin, and his pout transformed into a mischievous grin that made her narrow her eyes in suspicion. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"We should get back at him – not to make a show or prove a point or anything, just to poke some fun at him."

Utahime pulled her hands away from his chest to plant her hands on her hips. "And how would we–?"

Only to be cut off with a yelp when Gojo wrapped his arms around her and dragged her onto the bed with him. The two of them bounced, Gojo laughing when she landed on his chest. He rolled him over so that she was underneath him, nuzzling his nose at the crook of her neck, his hair tickling her skin.

"Gojo!" she practically shrieked, flailing about in a panic. "I'm not having sex with you in Geto's bed!"

"Why not?" Gojo asked teasingly. "I'm pretty sure he'd get off to it later." One of his hands squeezed her hip suggestively, and a bolt of pleasure shot through her, sharply followed by embarrassment when he smirked down at her. "We can leave a mess for him to find – make you squirt all over his blankets."

Utahime flushed furiously. "That's– I– You–"

Gojo laughed again, lowering himself to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm joking."

With a huff, Utahime sank on the mattress under him, no longer struggling to buck him off. "Ass."

"I would've likely pushed you to do it before, but…" Gojo brushed her hair out of her face. "I can't promise I'll always be good. What with you and Suguru working together to help the students, I know I'm bound to get jealous and worked up. You're proving me right – I knew you'd be incredible and do some good – but I didn't anticipate just how much that would bring you between us. I guess I'd hoped that Suguru would think of you as an asset and nothing more."

"An asset." To their cult, to their cause. The thought made Utahime's stomach twist.

"I should've expected it though," Gojo sighed. "You're way more than that. Of course Suguru would see that too. I'm gonna try to be better, but you kinda drive me mad, Hime."

Utahime snorted. "You most certainly drive me up a wall."

"I know," Gojo said with a light chuckle. He gazed down at her, his expression soft, bright blue eyes filled with adoration. It was difficult to meet his gaze when he looked at her like this, completely inhibited and honest, something she'd realized that she wasn't used to with him, not like this at least. "I don't want you to feel trapped here by me. It's stupid to hope for – I know that too – but… Maybe we can do better, together."

Sighing, Utahime reached up to cup his face in her eyes, allowing him to close his eyes and lean into her palm. This was the best she could do right now. Fortunately, her touch seemed to sate him. He'd been holding himself back the entire time while Geto touched her, after all, so she could give him this, calming both their hearts and minds.

He knew it was hopeless, and yet he couldn't help himself. He was still a dreamer, just as he'd been when he first started to teach. Utahime could remember his idealistic nature, his desire to use his incredible power and abilities to shape jujutsu society into a world that would protect future sorcerers and give them better lives. He'd been prepared to put so much on his shoulders for everyone else. He was still that man, with hopes and dreams and a vision for a better world.

How did it come to this?

Chapter 23

Notes:

A lot of talking in this chapter, but Utahime needed to be with a friend - of sorts - and also come to a few painful realizations about her world now. Can't wait for what this chapter sets up. :))) Things (and people) are finally coming together.

Chapter Text

Geto had made himself scarce since that night in his bedroom. To be honest, Utahime wasn't sure how to feel about it, especially since the glimpses of him she did catch throughout the compound only managed to unsettle her. He'd flash her a smile, so charming and polite, and her stomach would flip, leaving her to wonder if he'd done it on purpose or if everything was all in her head. A smile could simply be a smile, she supposed, but nothing ever felt simple with Geto, not when they were younger and certainly not now.

Whatever that whole display had been for – or whoever it had been for – it must've had its intended effect. Gojo no longer littered her body with visible marks, though that didn't stop him entirely. The ones he did leave on her body were easy for her to hide, only for him to see, which seemed to delight him even more. Red marks on the inside of her thighs from his fingers, faint bruises on her breasts from his sucking and nibbling. They gave him something to think about during the day, a secret only they knew about.

Entirely theirs and theirs alone.

Nonetheless, just because the marks were hidden didn't mean Utahime could forget about them. She had a bad habit of tugging on her clothes, as if people could still see them, pulling at the sleeves of her kosode and smoothing her hakama over her legs. She hadn't even noticed what she was doing until she caught eyes with Yuta, who immediately averted his gaze. Learning to control her nerves was difficult, mostly because Gojo made sure she couldn't control herself, but she wanted to prove to both him and Geto that she wasn't just a toy for them.

Whatever game they were playing with her, she wasn't going to be a pawn. At the least, she wouldn't make things easy for them. In truth, they probably liked her being a little difficult. It kept things interesting. Bastards.

Utahime rubbed her temple. This whole thing was getting to her and nothing had happened in the past few days. She kept wondering if it was some sort of ploy to get her to go to him, but then she would stop to wonder if there was even a ploy to begin with, and… The whole thing was a circular mess. They could've had absolutely nothing planned, sitting back and watching her spiral into a tizzy until she blew up. They were probably having fun laughing about it, watching her furrow her brow in confusion and jump whenever Gojo appeared behind her.

Maybe she was being the stupid one and playing right into their hands. Why was this so damn complicated?

"Ah, excuse me, Utahime?"

Yuta's voice cut through Utahime's thoughts, bringing her attention to the door. The weekends were a strange limbo, her days not filled with much to do. Gojo was doing his best to give her a normal life here, just like everyone else, but it was hard for her to focus. Simple things like watching movies, reading books, or even having a drink felt weird to her. Sometimes though, she worried about when those things didn't feel weird to her – when they were normal and a part of her everyday life, when she stopped questioning it and started expecting it. As much as it freaked her out, she could feel it happening.

After checking to make sure there were no visible marks from Gojo's visit last night, Utahime called out, "You can come in."

Yuta unlocked the door, his usual tremulous smile on his face. "Hi, sorry if I'm bothering you."

Utahime gestured around the room. "Yes, I'm very busy, as you can tell."

"Right, sorry–" Yuta rubbed the back of his neck. "Gojo and Geto are busy today, but it didn't seem fair for you to be stuck in your room since they aren't here."

The fact that Yuta mentioned Geto as well made Utahime's heart skip a beat, but she didn't comment on it, instead asking, "They aren't here at all?"

"More clan stuff." Yuta swallowed. "Please don't ask for more details."

He seemed almost terrified that she would press for more information about what Gojo and Geto were up to, not wanting to be forced to lie or keep things from her. Once again, Utahime found his contradiction strange, endearing, and a little sad. He had the same strength as Gojo and Geto, but unlike them, he didn't revel in it. He could've very easily ordered her not to question him further on the matter, but he practically begged instead.

She didn't want to upset him though, even if she was curious. Asking him directly was out of the question, but that didn't mean she couldn't find a way to get answers another way.

"So you've come here to take me on a field trip?" Utahime joked.

"Well…" Yuta shifted on his feet, then cleared his throat, straightening his back a little more. "Mei Mei is back from business overseas" – another thing she couldn't ask him about, but Mei Mei might be a little more lax about what she said – "and I remembered that you two were school friends, so I thought…it might be nice to, you know, have lunch with a friend and spend time time away from all of this – well, not away, but…"

Utahime brightened up immediately. "Oh, I would like that very much."

His idea was unexpected but not an unwelcomed one, especially since she'd only been able to speak with Mei Mei once, during that uncomfortable dinner with all of Geto and Gojo's commanders. The last she'd heard of her, her old schoolmate and partner had been returned from speaking to the Kamo clan, a representative on her employers' behalf.

"Better than being stuck here," Yuta added, "although I personally wouldn't mind wasting a day watching television." When she gave him a soft smile, he ducked his head, back to being bashful. "I only really watch it with Mai – she says I'm really behind on pop culture stuff, which makes me look even weirder – but we've both been really busy."

"You know," Utahime said, "if you ever just want to sit around and do nothing, you can tell me."

"Yes, but–" Yuta sighed, glancing at the door, which was partially open. "I would feel bad. Your life is limited here as it is. You haven't even left this place since Gojo brought you here, but I can technically leave whenever I want. I don't want you to feel even more confined than you already are."

Utahime bit her lip but said nothing else. The truth was, Yuta was right. She'd honestly lost track of how long she had been here – how long it had been since Gojo threatened to kill an unknown amount of sorcerers simply because he could and she'd thrown herself at him and begged him to just take her instead. Two months? Three? Time seemed to bleed here, especially when it was the only place she'd known for months.

She would've killed to do something as simple as go out to a bar and waste a few hours with some friends, pretending the world wasn't on the edge of falling apart. Normal things like that still existed, as crazy as it sounded. It wasn't like she and her friends and colleagues were huddled around fires while the world was destroyed around them, some dystopian world where every day was a struggle to live. The Japanese government, they knew, had all but fallen into line, if only to keep a semblance of normalcy and from collapsing entirely.

Just thinking about those nights now – sitting in a bar with Yuki's arm flung over her shoulders while Shoko goaded Nanami into taking another shot – made Utahime's heart sink. That had been a farce as well, hadn't it, the same as the peace and ideal image Gojo and Geto portrayed here was covering for something sinister.

Putting those dark thoughts out of her mind, Utahime followed Yuta across the compound. It was even larger than she'd first realized, sprawling across acres with multiple buildings serving different purposes, almost entirely self-sustainable as well. Their own personal paradise. People still had jobs to do on the weekend, bustling about, non-sorcerers and sorcerers alike. The former kept their eyes down, sticking to themselves and the shadows as much as possible, whereas the latter strutted around with a sense of purpose.

Yuta waved a hand at a few of them, but for the most part, everyone steered clear of him as well. He quit trying after a while, letting out a little sigh. That didn't stop people from glancing her way, distaste in sorcerers' eyes and what Utahime felt like was disappointment in the non-sorcerers' faces. She tugged on her clothes again. Not that it mattered. Word had spread around like wildfire by now. If she hadn't been seen as Gojo's trophy before, it was most certainly a fact now.

"Don't mind them," Yuta said as he opened the door to another building, one she hadn't been in yet. "They're just jealous."

"Isn't that my line to you?" Utahime asked dryly.

Yuta shook his head. "They don't understand what they're even jealous of - the burden it is to be the object of Gojo and Geto's interest. It's not easy."

Sighing, Utahime admitted, "No, it's not."

While walking through the building, Yuta explained that this was where the majority of the higher-ranked sorcerers stayed on base. That rank, of course, did not depend on the strength of a sorcerer, although it certainly helped. Instead, a sorcerer's usefulness to the cause was far more important, along with their loyalty and own ambition, and then strength. Mei Mei had a room here, although she preferred to stay in her own home out of the country. Mai stayed here as well, her quarters down the hall from Yuta's. Utahime found it interesting that Gojo and Geto did not stay here, but she supposed it was important to keep them separate.

The moment they entered a large dining hall, oddly similar to the one at Kyoto Tech, Utahime's eyes landed on two women sitting at a table near the back. They weren't the only ones in the room, other people looking up in surprise upon seeing her walk in, but she ignored them all, locked in on her old best friend.

Mei Mei caught the change in the room quickly, her heavy-lidded gaze sliding over to the door. A smile slowly spread across her face. "Utahime, I'm glad you could join us. I was beginning to think that Gojo was never going to let you out of that cage to play."

Utahime scowled in response, but Mei Mei laughed, her humor terrible as ever. It was a wonder they'd managed to get along so well, so different in their youth, but learning how to become a sorcerer had brought them together in a way that could never be replicated. Mei Mei had saved her life and vice versa, the two girls growing in a world that was never forgiving or understanding of their gender.

As they walked over to them, Mai spun around in her seat. "Are you actually going to eat lunch on time?"

"I'm trying," Yuta insisted, only to flinch when Mai poked him in the side as he sat down. "I am!"

"I'll get you all something as well," Mei Mei said, lifting a hand to catch someone's attention.

Utahime caught sight of a non-sorcerer quickly skittering into another room, presumably a kitchen, and deflated. "No, it's fine. I can–"

"You're Gojo's beloved ," Mei Mei cut in smoothly. "If word gets out that they did not treat you with the utmost respect and attention, they could be severely punished." When Utahime opened her mouth to argue that she would never let that happen, Mei Mei continued, "I know, I know. You're kind. You have a good heart. You would never let that happen. You hate being waited on hand and foot like this, looked upon with fear, but it's easier to run with it than fight it. Don't you think it would ease their anxiety to allow them to do their job properly?"

Wrinkling her nose, Utahime sank on the bench, defeated and sour. It was not the proper and pristine look that perhaps someone of her position should've been showing off. Any other woman in her position would've been walking around proudly, draped in the beautiful clothes Gojo had bought her, more than happy to show off her status. She couldn't do that though, even if the outfit was nicer than anything she'd owned back at her quarters back at the school.

When food was dropped off for her and Yuta, Utahime sat upright and smiled warmly at the young non-sorcerer. "Thank you. I appreciate your hard work." The girl blinked in surprise, her cheeks flushed, bowed lowly, and then scurried away. As soon as she vanished back into the kitchen, Utahime huffed. "How can you stand it? I hate this show of subservience."

"Only you would get treated with proper respect and deference and see it as something negative," Mei Mei sighed. "You've been the obedient one for most of your life, so to be on the opposite side must be hard for you to contend with."

She hadn't always been the obedient one. If so, she certainly wouldn't have fallen for Gojo's tricks and allowed herself to get riled up so much. She had tried though, following the rules as much as possible, never speaking out of turn, deferring to the higher-ups almost every time. Gojo used to mock her for it, teasing her about being weak and a suck-up, whereas Mei Mei would roll her eyes and Nanami remained quiet about it.

Only when her students were concerned did she ever act out of turn. Mai had seen it once, back when Utahime went to the Zen'in estate to ask for permission for Mai, Maki, and Megumi to stay on campus. Naoya had asked if it was even worth it since Mai and Maki were so weak. Needless to say, Mai had been stunned into silence when Naoya slapped Utahime clear across the face for insulting him in return.

"Take a walk with me?" Mei Mei asked as she stood from the table. "I find this place so stuffy at times."

Utahime couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, okay."

"And we can leave these two kids be." Mei Mei winked. "Be good, Yuta. I'm trusting you not to take after the boys."

Yuta flushed horribly. "I-I wouldn't–"

Mai dropped her chin in her hand, her elbow propped on the table. "I'll keep him out of trouble."

"Come now, Utahime." Mei Mei took her by the arm, pulling her up from the bench and to her feet. "They don't get a lot of alone time. Gojo and Geto work Yuta to the bone. He deserves a break, and I can make sure none of their little fans try to stab you in the back while they're gone."

Utahime swelled up. "It's just–"

"Right, of course," Mei Mei interrupted seamlessly. "Gojo's fans. You and Geto have a strictly professional relationship now, yes? I heard you were coming up with lesson plans to begin working individually with students. Your experiment with those two children they rescued truly paid off."

Pressing her lips together, Utahime opted to say nothing as Mei Mei guided them out of the dining area, waving to Yuta and Mai before they slipped through the doors. She was as graceful and elegant as ever, the picture of poise, the type of woman that should've been on Gojo's arm. She knew Mei Mei wasn't interested, even now, or it would've happened already. She had always been happier as a business partner and keeping things as impersonal as possible.

"I'm sorry for not seeking you out sooner, Utahime," Mei Mei said once they stepped outside. "I wanted to, but Gojo kept you under a tight lock and key, and Geto was…concerned. They were worried that seeing me would remind you of your life on the other side. Your position here isn't nearly as solid as they would like, so anything that might cause…unrest is strictly prohibited."

"Until I'm properly brainwashed?" Utahime added irritably.

"I wish I could say otherwise, but…" Mei Mei shrugged. "I did warn them that you would not be nearly as susceptible to their propaganda tactics. At the end of the day, they've hurt an incredible amount of people and the core of their goal involves either ending the lives of the majority of the world or enslaving them. It's not a pretty picture."

Utahime eyed her sideways. "And what about you?"

"I'm not a good person, Utahime," Mei Mei said plainly, without a hint of shame. "But you are, and I loved you for that. It was like you had all the heart that I'd never understood. It was beautiful, and it's partly why Gojo fell for you so hard. You're nothing like us. You could be loyal and obedient but still yourself and still retain your heart."

"So are you here for the money or do you actually believe in what they're doing?" Utahime asked.

"I believe they're capable of what they want to do," Mei Mei answered without missing a beat. "And the money doesn't hurt."

"Saving your own skin and making a buck off it at the same time?"

Mei Mei nodded. "Ever the opportunist."

Utahime wanted to be angry with Mei Mei, but truth be told, it wasn't surprising. Mei Mei had never sugarcoated her beliefs or desires, no matter how they made her look, and she'd never hid her ambitions either. She could be cold, flat, and even cruel if it meant getting what she wanted, but until Mei Mei had turned sides and joined Geto and Gojo, such behavior had never truly affected her. She didn't pretend to be kind-hearted or loving or soft. She didn't even pretend to be nice, only doing a job if she got something out of it.

Considering they were the two most powerful sorcerers of their time, with another special grade sorcerer under their wing, it made perfect sense for Mei Mei to join them. Utahime had been devastated but not betrayed.

"How was your visit with the Kamo clan?" Utahime asked.

Mei Mei tilted her head. "Fishing for information?"

Utahime smiled humorlessly. "Just wanted to see if you had as much fun speaking with them as I did."

At that, Mei Mei actually laughed. "Oh, yes, they were an absolute joy, although I'm sure I had an easier time than Mai and Yuta." She hummed thoughtfully, glancing back at the building. "I'm still a bit surprised that Gojo agreed to that. It was a very strenuous and difficult thing for Mai, and Yuta wasn't happy about it in the slightest."

Eyeing her old friend shrewdly, Utahime said, "You're far more familiar with what's going on around here, aren't you?"

"My technique comes in handy," Mei Mei admitted. "Knowledge is power, as they say, no matter which side you're on."

As painful as it was seeing her on their side, it was somehow comforting as well to see that Mei Mei hadn't changed. She hadn't believed much in the higher-ups and their traditional views of jujutsu society either, so this wasn't that far off from what Utahime remembered of her. They used to butt heads on it, Utahime more spirited in the debate, but even though their opinions and values had differed greatly, it had never affected their friendship. Utahime was a grown woman, above clinging to a friend, and yet…

Gojo had been right to keep her away from Mei Mei, if that had been his actual plan. Being around her reminded Utahime just how opinionated she could be.

"So the Kamo clan," Utahime prompted.

Mei Mei eyed her sideways. "You're not going to let that go, are you?" When Utahime shook her head, Mei Mei sighed and continued, "I didn't have to physically fight anyone, not like Yuta, but that doesn't mean things were easy. The Kamo clan is built off of pride. They could understand why Gojo and Geto didn't attend themselves, but they used it as a means to be difficult on purpose."

"Sounds like a fun time."

"Please, they hated me," Mei Mei laughed. "We could at least be civilized though. I don't know if they'll agree to the terms, but they were interested. They've always been hungry about, well, blood ties."

She paused in her walking, staring out into the distance but not really seeing anything. They were near the edge of the woods now, a place that Utahime had often thought about. She wondered if she could run away here – if she could escape – but, when she sat down and thought about it, she didn't even know where they were. Gojo could teleport. There was a chance they weren't even in Japan anymore. Trapped here on the compound, she wouldn't know.

There was a lot she didn't know.

"The heir asked about you," Mei Mei piped up.

Utahime spun on her quickly. "Noritoshi?"

"Yes, that was his name," Mei Mei hummed. "Kamo Noritoshi, just like the Death Paintings sorcerer. What a cursed name."

"Is he okay?" Utahime asked, her heart racing. "How's he faring? Did he look healthy? Did he mention any of the others?"

Mei Mei held up a hand. "Slow down. You're such a mom ."

Utahime frowned. "He's my student. I'm worried about him. He's under an extreme amount of pressure, especially since his position as the heir to the Kamo clan is tenuous."

"Mm, yes, he's illegitimate. It's obvious that some people aren't pleased with the decision to name him as the heir, but he's the only child to have inherited the Blood Manipulation technique."

Noritoshi couldn't afford to put a toe out of line, not if he wanted to retain his position. Some days, she didn't think he did and she thought he might throw it all away to relieve himself of that pressure, but he hadn't. It wasn't easy. Many members of his clan refused to let him forget that he was a bastard, and so he had to work twice as hard to prove that he belonged. It forced him to turn into someone he wasn't. She had called him out on it more than once when he said something to Maki or Megumi, and he would apologize after, tired and disappointed with himself.

"As far as I can tell, he's in good health, but he's obviously displeased over Gojo kidnapping you," Mei Mei explained. At least she admitted what he'd done without sugarcoating it. Not even Yuta would do that. "He sounded close to demanding that Gojo release you, but of course he didn't want to overstep his boundaries or bring about any retaliation. They're still unsure of his and Geto's motives, but this thing with you is obviously more personal."

Folding her arms across her chest, Utahime huffed, "Obviously. I'm not a necessary piece for world domination or mass genocide."

"The boy was concerned for your own safety and health," Mei Mei continued. "He sought me out after the meeting to speak with me about you, not wanting to bring you up during it and cause more unwanted attention toward you." She tilted her head. "You were more than a teacher to them. Mai said that Megumi asked about you as well, although he was bold enough to ask outright since he doesn't care."

"Life as a sorcerer is difficult enough without all the clan politics." Utahime twisted her lips. "I've tried to explain to Megumi that he can't avoid them in the long run, but I don't want him to be bogged down and changed like Noritoshi either." She rolled her eyes. "Gojo and Geto didn't make it easy. It's like we've all been backed into a corner, and all I want to do is to give them the chance to live their own lives, be themselves, maybe even be happy and excited for the future."

Mei Mei pressed her lips into a thin line. "You speak as if you're still their teacher."

Utahime frowned. "I am."

"Oh, Uta… You truly think that, don't you? You still see them as yours."

"Of course they are! I'm not just going to abandon them. They're important to me. I wouldn't–"

"I'm not discrediting that," Mei Mei cut in. "If it makes you feel better, they don't believe you've abandoned them either. They still trust and respect you – they love you, more than I could imagine students caring for a teacher – but…"

"But what?" Utahime pressed.

Mei Mei laid a hand on her arm. "You've more or less been labeled as a dissenter."

Utahime reared back, jerking away from her friend. " What ?"

"They were aware enough to use you as bait in that mission to lure Gojo out into the open, so there were already concerns of your allegiance and loyalty," Mei Mei said, every word a strike against her heart. "From some of the eye witness reports, you reportedly had a conversation with Gojo and all but begged him to take you with him."

"That's–" Utahime's face flushed with anger. "It was a lot more complicated than that!"

"I know," Mei Mei continued, "and as arrogant as they are, I highly doubt they believe that either. You were always so loyal and respectful of the higher-ups – and you have a good heart, on top of the respect of your students'. They know that, but listing you as a traitor is their way of damage control. Better to do that than admit they hung you out to dry."

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Utahime tried to speak again. "But I… Gojo was going to kill everyone – and, yes, I know he could have still done it, but I panicked and…"

She had done everything the higher-ups had asked of her, even when she didn't like it, even when they didn't show her near the level of respect that she showed them. Even Yuki had asked why she even bothered with it. She couldn't stand the higher-ups, but that didn't mean she would join Geto and Gojo either. She could have her own motives outside of listening to them and being their pretty little lapdog.

"They've cut their losses. I'm sorry, Utahime, but your old life is gone. Even if you somehow escaped this place or Gojo let you go, you could never go back to what you were."

Mei Mei had always been sharp and upfront. They didn't mince words, not when there was no sense in it. A waste of time, she said, and any time wasted was opportunity wasted. It made her seem cold and uncaring. Utahime used to get flustered over the way her partner spoke to other people on missions, choking on her words as she tried to apologize and smooth things over whenever Mei Mei insulted people or scared them further.

"I'm not a traitor," Utahime muttered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I know, although…" Mei Mei gave her a look. "I don't know if others would see it that way if they saw you teaching the children here." Utahime opened her mouth to argue, only for Mei Mei to add, "And if they knew how much Gojo was warming your bed. Sleeping with the enemy is typically frowned upon."

Utahime snapped her mouth shut, unable to counter that. She could come up with all sorts of excuses – the top of which included how she could've possibly denied Gojo or told him no without something terrifying happening, which brought up a lot of other implications about him that she didn't want to think about – but she couldn't deny them either. For the first month, she could've said she was doing anything she could think of in order to survive, but the truth was, she'd made her mark here. Things had changed because of her. She'd gotten involved with the people here, even their plans on some level.

Maybe she was a traitor.

"Your old colleagues and students understand that it's far more complicated than that," Mei Mei told her. "Kamo wasn't just asking about you for his own concern. The others were worried for you as well. Shoko is predictably upset, and you know how difficult it is to rile her up. She's fit to stab both boys if they cross paths. Also, from what I could gather, Nanami has been having difficulty corralling your old students. You had some pretty stubborn kids."

Lowering her gaze, Utahime stilled her lips from trembling. "I…I did…"

"Listen, Utahime, I know it's hard to believe, but I am sorry about this," Mei Mei sighed. "Your students were important to you, the life you built something to be proud of. You fought and struggled on your own to get where you were." She touched her arm again, bringing Utahime's eyes back up to hers. "But it doesn't have to be for nothing. Just because your old life is gone doesn't mean you can't have a new and better one here."

"It's easy to give me a new life when you destroy my old one," Utahime muttered irritably.

"You're not wrong," Mei Mei admitted. "But were you getting anywhere before? It felt like you were hitting a wall at every turn, blocked and belittled, forced to watch your friends and students struggle with the weight of pressure put upon them. You couldn't truly do anything, not really, not with them ruling your life and even the way you taught. It's not like that here. You can control your own life and more. Power, money, respect – you can get all of that."

Utahime scowled. "I don't care about any of that shit."

Mei Mei smiled softly. "Of course you don't. But you know what you can also do? You can make a difference. You can help other sorcerers. You can do true good." She gestured to the building behind them. "I've already seen how much of an impact you've made on Yuta, something that both Gojo and Geto struggled with, and they've both remarked on your ability to work with children. It's impressive, and, as your friend, I want you to step out of everyone's shadows and shine like you were meant to."

Eyeing her sideways, Utahime asked, "What about Gojo's and Geto's shadows?"

"Especially theirs. It would be pointless for you to escape the higher-ups' iron grip only to be locked up in theirs." Mei Mei pulled her hand away, standing upright, making Utahime tilt her head back. She was such a proud woman. Utahime had always admired her for it, even felt a little jealous. The idea that she could hold herself with that much pride and confidence sounded unreal. "You've been muted your whole life, Utahime, but no more. It's time for your voice to be heard – your true voice, the one you've always kept hidden."

"That's quite the poetic speech," Utahime said. "Did Geto put you up to it?"

"It does sound like something he would say, doesn't it?" Mei Mei chuckled to herself. "Maybe I've spent too much time around them. If I'm not careful, I might start actually believing in their cause."

That was a little hard to believe, especially when Utahime had realized that Mei Mei hadn't brought her dear little brother Ui Ui here. She probably kept him safe at their home in Malaysia, far away from this propaganda, likely so they couldn't try to use him against her.

"Either way, Utahime, it won't be much longer before you'll have to make a more solid choice," Mei Mei told her. "Everyone knows that Gojo and Geto could end this swiftly, so this war is a sham. On top of that, after Mai and Yuta's stunt with the Zen'in clan, the other side is aware that there is a vast difference in power."

Utahime turned back to the building, watching as sorcerers came and went, such a normal life. Did they know what had been sacrificed to give them such a peaceful life? Did they understand the loss? Did they even care? She didn't want to believe that so many sorcerers thought that non-sorcerers were subhuman and deserved to be slaughtered. Maybe they didn't think Gojo and Geto would do it or were capable of it – and maybe they weren't. The non-sorcerer population had dropped critically, many forced to flee in order to survive, most not so lucky in the early days of their havoc and destruction.

Divine punishment, it had been called. Those days felt so far away, but Utahime could still remember them. It was too easy for her to forget, especially when in their presence and after weeks of living in their idyllic world.

Could she possibly make a difference here? Could she convince them to be better? To be kinder?

Mei Mei held out her hands, tipping one side like a weighted scale. "It's only a matter of time. When the other clans align with Gojo and Geto, everything else will fall into line, and the world will start reshaping itself into their image."

Utahime paused, glancing back at Mei Mei. "When? Not if?"

"Ah, what a terrible slip of the tongue."

Judging by the lack of a reaction and neutral expression on Mei Mei's face, it hadn't been an accident, but it was easy to pretend like she gave away information on accident than tell her the truth in secret. At least this way, there was plausible deniability, Mei Mei claiming that she was tricked into saying more than she should. It was her way of apologizing since she couldn't help Utahime more – since she couldn't give Utahime her old life back.

"Yuta said Gojo and Geto were gone," Utahime said. "They're speaking with the other clans directly now. Just the Kamo and Zen'in clans or is Gojo finally addressing what's left of his family?"

"The idea of replacing him as the heir was laughable," Mei Mei pointed out. "He often considered wiping them out entirely since they refused to cooperate with him."

"Why didn't he? Geto killed his parents when he turned."

Mei Mei hummed. "He's more sentimental than he likes to admit. He couldn't let go of you either." She smiled, her eyes sweeping over Utahime with a knowing look. "Although, I suppose he could do away with them now if they prove to be difficult. He can start over and rebuild his clan."

Flushing over the implication, Utahime spun on her heels. "If the clans agree to side with them…"

"The higher-ups will be forced to bow to them or risk being slaughtered like their predecessors," Mei Mei finished. "Who knows, if it comes to that and they do stand down, you could be reunited with your former students and friends again. You could bring them together. That sounds nice, doesn't it?"

Utahime bit her lip. It did, but she couldn't imagine a world in which something like that could be possible. Then again, she had gone through a lot of changes since being brought here, her entire world turned upside down. She would've never expected to be where she was now, doing the things she was now. Her mind still rebelled against it, but her heart…

Chapter 24

Notes:

Everyone say thanks to Andy for firmly planting GetoHime in my head so I was forced to write this scene instead of swerving and starting a completely different one-shot. Also, if this feels like things are coming to a conclusion or climax, it is...but not in the sense of the fic. I'm just trying to get these idiots to bone. LMAO There's still some rough ass shit to go down, so like...triple the climax. Good times.

Chapter Text

When Gojo and Geto returned from their business with the other clans, Utahime wasn't entirely surprised that Gojo sought her out immediately. They'd heard about their return before his appearance, whispers passing through quickly from one person to another and reaching them, but when she spotted Gojo striding toward them, she couldn't help but stiffen. She saw the flash of irritation on his face when he spotted her sitting beside Mei Mei. He truly had been keeping them separate, which only served to anger her.

However, her own frustration and fear must've been obvious, as Mei Mei laid a hand on her thigh and greeted, "It took you long enough to find us. Could you not sense Utahime's cursed energy? You must have it memorized by now."

"Full of humor and tact as ever, Mei Mei," Gojo managed through a tight smile.

Mei Mei rolled her eyes back to Utahime. "I told you – our relationship has always been tenuous when it comes to you."

Utahime stood up from the blanket, swiping at her clothes and smoothing them down. "As tempting as it is to cause some sort of disruption, I don't feel like messing with your friendship."

"Is that what they call it these days?" Mei Mei joked with a light laugh.

Gojo shot her an unreadable look that appeared closer to a glare and then took Utahime by her elbow. "Sorry for leaving so abruptly without saying anything. We both thought it was the best choice, but I promise to tell you more later." He tilted his head to look over her shoulder at Mei Mei, giving her yet another pointed look. "We're being more open with her. She deserves to know if she's going to be with us. Isn't that right?"

Mei Mei shrugged, lounging quite comfortably on the blanket. "I didn't tell her anything she wouldn't have found out on her own. Keeping her entirely in the dark is dangerous."

Utahime huffed. "This passive aggressiveness is giving me a headache."

To be fair, Gojo immediately softened, flashing her a sheepish smile. "Sorry. You're right. Mei Mei brings out a side of me that I sometimes like to forget, and having dealt with the clans all day made me worse."

"Did it at least go well?" Mei Mei asked.

Gojo snorted and gestured at himself. "I'm clean, aren't I?"

"You have Infinity," Mei Mei pointed out idly. "What does Geto look like?"

"Well enough," Gojo retorted. When Utahime glanced at him in concern, unable to stop herself, he eased again and kissed her on the temple. "It was a joke. He's fine, honestly. Unlike with Yuta and Mai, no fighting occurred. We just talked."

That didn't make her feel any better, but she kept her mouth shut, knowing it wouldn't do her any good. In the past, she hadn't thought herself capable of staying silent when it came to Gojo – he had always been so talented at riling her up in the worst ways – but she'd truly proven herself wrong over her time here. Perhaps she'd gotten older and wiser – or maybe she had realized self-preservation came at a cost.

"Thanks for keeping her company while I was gone," Gojo said. "I'm glad she was able to get out and about."

Utahime wrinkled her nose. "You make me sound like a dog in a kennel."

Mei Mei hummed. "You are kind of a bitch."

"No worse than you," Utahime shot back.

"Touche," Mei Mei laughed. "I'll see you soon, Utahime. I've a feeling I'll be forced to stick around for longer than usual."

Utahime nodded, then allowed Gojo to guide her away, back to the building where their bedrooms were located. She wondered if she would be returned to hers or if he would take her to his. Judging by the possessive grip on her arm, she guessed his, though saying as such would only make him petulant. He was in a strange mood, buzzing with energy but not angry or arrogant, and she knew from experience that he could make odd decisions when he was like this. It was easier to ride the wave than push against it, though she was prone to the latter when it came to him.

"Did you enjoy yourself today?" Gojo asked. "Yuta stated it was his decision to let you spend time with Mei Mei. I think he was worried that I'd be angry with you."

"I did," Utahime replied. "We were just looking at the stars." She gazed upward at the sky once more before they stepped back inside. "We used to do that when we were younger and out on far away missions – just lay out a blanket and point out the differences in the constellations." Biting her lip, she glanced back at Gojo. "We're not in Japan, are we?"

Gojo eyed her sideways with a faint smile. "You know the stars better than I do. Maybe you can tell me."

"So much for being more open with me," Utahime muttered under her breath.

With a laugh, Gojo threw an arm over her shoulders, tucking her against his side. "I enjoy riling you up too much."

Utahime supposed it didn't matter much where they were right now, but it did confirm one of the pressing matters they'd often talked about on the other side. Where the hell were Geto and Gojo? Granted, she hadn't expected their base operations to be this big and out in the open, and she could tell they weren't too far from Japan, so it had to be in one of the countries that had started cooperating with them already. While they had started out in Japan, other governments had seemingly fallen to them in time.

The world really had begun to change to fit their ideals.

When they made the turn in the direction of his quarters, Utahime let out a breath. Even if he did make things difficult for her, she'd gotten better at reading him over the past few months. It wasn't nearly as hard to navigate conversations or even confrontations with him as it had in the beginning. She wasn't as afraid anymore or she was simply too tired – or maybe, just maybe, she'd grown comfortable. That was a disquieting thought.

"What's going on, Gojo?" Utahime asked, sounding more exhausted than she planned on when she had told herself that she would confront him on the matter. He must've noticed it as well, peering down at her curiously. "All I was told was that you and Geto were speaking with the clans, which I can only assume that negotiations must be moving forward."

"An astute observation," Gojo noted, pulling down his blindfold to wink at her.

Utahime scowled at him. "Now you sound like Geto."

Gojo wrinkled his nose. "Geez, stabbing me would be nicer, Hime."

"You're the one deflecting me with vague comments," Utahime pointed out. "If the clans are in talks to change their positions, that will change everything. The Japanese government itself might have fallen in line with you, but the clans, along with many sorcerer families in other countries, have continued to resist. However, if the Zen'in, Kamo, and Gojo clans decide to align themselves with you…"

"Nothing is set in stone yet," Gojo told her, "but we're trying. We don't want to spill more blood if we can help it. We want to make this a better world for others."

"You mean for sorcerers," Utahime stated flatly. "A better world for other sorcerers."

Gojo didn't blink as he stared back at her, nor did he look away. He didn't try to deflect this time either or come up with an excuse that might soothe her fears. At least he had never lied to her. The problem was that she wasn't sure he knew exactly what he wanted to do either. Hadn't he said that he didn't really believe in Geto's idea to kill all non-sorcerers? That wouldn't put an end to curses. What if two sorcerers gave birth to a child with minimal cursed energy like Maki or even none at all?

"With the clans following you, with your abilities, you can end the lives of a lot of people," Utahime said, "but you can't possibly believe that you can rid the world of every non-sorcerer, can you?"

Still staring down at her, Gojo asked, "Do you think I'm capable of that?"

Utahime lowered her gaze, unable to meet his eyes any longer. "I don't want to think you are."

Placing a finger under her chin, Gojo lifted her head to look at him again. "Then you have your answer."

"But what about Geto–?"

Gojo shrugged and pulled his finger out from her chin. "Ambitious as he is, Suguru isn't an idiot. He knows it's not logically possible to kill every non-sorcerer in the world. Besides, as much as he might hate it, he needs them in order to retain his power." He held out his hands. "He likes to say that there are two kinds of non-sorcerers." A smile flickered across Gojo's face, and Utahime huffed. They both knew Geto said something else. "Curse-making non-sorcerers and money-making non-sorcerers. They're easier to use than sorcerers. You can imagine how many curses are produced by the flow of cursed energy that slips from them here."

"How self-sustainable of him," Utahime said dryly. "It's like he's recycling."

A laugh escaped Gojo. "You should tell him that. I think he'd like it."

Utahime arched an eyebrow at him. "Oh? Do you want him to like me now?"

Gojo reached out to tug on a strand of her hair. "Do you want him to like you?"

Swatting his hand away from her, Utahime brushed past him to enter his quarters first. "You're both idiots."

Gojo followed her into the room without a word, though she could sense the smile on his face. It wasn't as tense as it would have been before that night in Geto's bedroom, but it was still hiding something. He hadn't lied to her, but he hadn't really answered her question either. Maybe he had spent too much time with Geto. His crypticness was rubbing off on Gojo, perhaps as a defense mechanism since she was becoming more perceptive.

No, she didn't want to think he was actually capable of mass genocide, even though his techniques could cause devastation beyond repair. So could Geto's, especially if he used his maximum technique, and Yuta as well. That wasn't even counting Rika, who could also deal massive damage on their own. No wonder even the Zen'in clan was considering it, even though she had thought Naoya's pride would force him to die before he fell under them. She still hadn't been told exactly what had happened, only seen the blood on Yuta's clothes, but Mai said it had been spectacular.

Nonetheless, even though they had brought upon havoc and chaos before, she wanted to believe they could be better. She desperately wanted them to both realize that destroying everything – razing everything to the ground in order to rebuild it – was a terrible idea. Geto had wanted to use his strength to protect the weak, had he not? He still seemed to be of that mindset, only when sorcerers were concerned, but maybe…if he could figure out a better way… Yuki's idea of teaching non-sorcerers to control their cursed energy had been sound. If she could work that concept into her own teaching here…

"You're doing a lot of thinking for someone that said they were too tired to do anything," Gojo muttered into her shoulder as they laid in bed. "Need me to exhaust you further?"

Utahime ran her fingers through his hair, just the way she knew he liked. "Go to sleep, Gojo. We've got work in the morning."

Gojo let out a little huff, but he didn't complain, only squeezing her tighter. Whatever they'd done today, while not physically exhausting, had brought him down a level. Gone was the excited energy he'd been brimming with before when he found her. It was as if, the moment they were alone in his room, he dropped the wall and let go of all the energy he'd been clinging to. They had easily sunk into bed together, Gojo wrapping himself around her, letting her play with his hair while she gazed up at the ceiling in the dark and tossed around thoughts in her mind.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. She would need to be rested for the days to come.

Gojo left before Utahime for once, getting up so smoothly that she hadn't even woken. It was only when she felt Gojo press his lips against her forehead did she stir awake, blinking her eyes open. The sun had barely risen, just a sliver of light peeking through the blinds of his window. She stared at it for a moment, remembering that her bedroom didn't have a window, and then swept her eyes back over to Gojo. The light glowed dimly behind him, casting his front in shadow. He was already dressed, even his blindfold.

"Sorry," he murmured. "Didn't mean to wake you."

Still half-asleep, Utahime mumbled, "Where you going?" as if it was perfectly normal for her to inquire about his coming and going, as if he was just going to work.

"I've gotta take care of a few things to help prepare for next week," Gojo told her. "I promise, I'll tell you more when things are settled. You know how clans are. Everything is so up in the air just to make things difficult so no one feels like they have more power or superiority."

Utahime sat upright, a little more awake. "Next week. Another meeting?"

A crooked grin found its way on Gojo's face. "You could say that." She frowned, but she didn't press him on the matter. All she could do was trust that he would keep his promise to tell her more when the time came, hopefully not an hour before it happened. "I'm also going to work with Yuta today. It's been a while since we've trained together, and I've gotten the sense that a lot has changed in the past few months."

"Yuta?" Utahime's heart skipped a beat. "He's–"

"He's okay," Gojo reassured her. "Better than okay actually, but after what happened during his and Mai's meeting with the Zen'in clan, I think it's time for a…reassessment of where he stands in terms of power." He smoothed down her hair, eyes roving over it as she'd worn it in her old style while sleeping. "You're a good teacher."

Utahime sank in the bed. "Don't…"

"Don't what?" Gojo asked when she couldn't finish.

"Don't turn him into something he isn't," Utahime said, the only thing she could think to say. She remembered the tentatively proud smile on his face when Gojo and Geto had congratulated him for showing up the Zen'in clan – the bright look in his eyes when Geto had suggested they show a demonstration of their devastating power through Yuta. She couldn't take that. It wasn't him. She didn't care what they believed.

"I don't think you have to worry about that," Gojo told her, standing upright. "You've helped him more than us."

Before Utahime could question him further about such a vague statement, he told her to stay as long as she liked and then swept out of the room. She didn't know what to make sense of it – he didn't lock the door behind himself – but so unfamiliar in this place, all she felt like doing was curling back under the blankets and hiding. She laid down, staring at that window, clutching the blankets against her chest, and wondered.

Had she truly helped anyone? Or had she hurt people? What were the ramifications of her actions here?

And why, when Gojo had given her the means to physically escape, did she not even try to get out of his bed?

In the end, Utahime must've laid there for another good two hours, drifting in and out of a restless sleep. By the time she dragged herself out of bed, unsure of what she was supposed to do, she was still tired. If Yuta was busy working with Gojo, then there would be no one to guide her throughout the compound. She didn't have a way of contacting Mai or Mei Mei or anyone. All she could do was sit here and wait. Gojo had a television that she could entertain herself with, a pile of DVDs on the floor, so reminiscent of his old apartment and dorm room.

Was she just some sort of lap dog waiting for her master's return or did she actually have a life here like he said she could?

After mulling it over, Utahime got out of bed and dressed in the clothes she'd worn the day before. She slid on her shoes and then, after taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Nothing happened.

She shut the door behind her and took a few steps forward.

Nothing happened.

The walk to her quarters was somehow boring, terrifying, and strange. It didn't feel entirely real, and she thought she might actually be dreaming. No one stopped her to question what she was doing on her own. No one even looked at her, treating her as if her presence was commonplace. By the time she slid into her room, her heart was racing and she slammed the door shut in a panic as if terrified that someone would barge in and question her.

It never happened. She'd walked through Gojo and Geto's operations entirely alone, and no one batted an eye.

Trying her best not to think about that too much and spiral, Utahime set about getting ready for the day. She took a quick shower and then changed into a fresh outfit. Having walked around on her own once, she couldn't help but think about doing it again. If someone said something, she could apologize and retreat to her room. Maybe she'd go to the kitchens and find something to eat. Her relationship with the non-sorcerers that worked here had been strange since her and Gojo's relationship had obviously shifted into something more, but she didn't want them to think she'd forgotten them or their plights and what they faced here.

But what did it say or what did it mean if she could walk around here unguarded?

The whole thing was almost too uncomfortable. Utahime didn't know how to interact with anyone now that she was alone. In a weird way, the non-sorcerers seemed more relieved and okay with it while she'd noticed a few sideways glances from some of the sorcerers hanging around. It wouldn't have been so weird if this was a school day. She was half-tempted to go to the quarters where the families stayed, knowing that Jirou and Hifumi were sectioned off in an area meant for children without parents, but that would've felt like she was hanging on a clutch.

After an hour of wandering around on her own, Utahime was beginning to feel somewhat paranoid, so she'd gone outside to walk around the garden. It was a strange sensation. For the first time, she was free, completely on her own, and yet she felt trapped and even anxious. She found herself wishing that Gojo was with her, Yuta, Mai, Mei Mei, or even–

"There you are. I was beginning to wonder if you'd run away."

Utahime damn near jumped out of her boots, so wound up from her nerves that Geto's mere voice startled her. She spun around to face him, unable to hide her reaction, which, judging from his faint smirk, he'd noticed. He had the grace not to bring it up, but she was still a little disgruntled over her panicky response. When would she stop being afraid of him or should she worry for the time when she did?

These questions were beginning to drive her insane.

"Worried I'd escape at the first chance?" Utahime asked.

"Worried that you'd leave us," Geto corrected.

Utahime peered at him sideways, then glanced away. "You were looking for me?"

"I was," Geto said, allowing her to change the subject. "Since Satoru is busy with Yuta and it's Sunday, I thought we could comb through the teachers' recommendations to pick out students that could benefit from this upcoming program."

"You certainly have more students than we–" Utahime cut herself off, suddenly remembering what she and Mei Mei had talked about. She wasn't a part of them anymore. They weren't her students. She wasn't their teacher. Even if they and her colleagues didn't believe that she'd betrayed them, she couldn't make that comparison anymore. She was, however, doing work on Gojo and Geto's side.

Geto's dark eyes seemed to soften. "Mei Mei told me about her conversation with you yesterday. The higher-ups might have discarded you, but from what I've seen of your work here, those children still likely view you as their teacher."

"Don't," Utahime said stiffly. "I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Of course. I'm sorry."

"Let's just…" Utahime took a deep breath. "Let's just get to work."

It would serve as a distraction – and she could also get away from these prying eyes. She had noticed them when she was alone, but now that Geto was with her, they felt even more obvious. Walking just a pace behind, she followed him back inside. For a wild moment, she had been nervous that he would take her back to his room, the memory of his fingers brushing over her lips and bare shoulder making her heart stammer, but he didn't, taking her to his office instead. He opened the door for her, letting her step inside first.

"I asked each teacher to give me a list of students that they believed might benefit from individual lessons," Geto began as he walked over to his desk. "We've managed to find more potential sorcerers than what you're used to since we don't focus on only those with techniques. Also, even those with low levels of cursed energy are brought in to cultivate their abilities and hopefully increase their levels."

It was a smart move, one that the higher-ups had only recently started to correct. In the past, only children with high levels of cursed energy and innate techniques were enrolled at school. Those with low levels, if they didn't come from a sorcerer family, were told just enough about jujutsu society and curses to keep them safe, sometimes working as Windows, but after Gojo turned sides and annihilated their predecessors and killed a number of sorcerers, they were forced to bring in students they wouldn't have otherwise to essentially restock their numbers.

"Of course, with more students in the classes, the potential for problems to slip through the cracks can occur, especially when many of these children have come from difficult backgrounds," Geto continued, opening up a thin folder and pulling out a few pages to spread across the desk.

Utahime gazed down at the papers, brushing her fingers over a section where a teacher had made a note about a ten-year-old girl who had suffered abuse from her non-sorcerer parents before she was "taken from them". It was a very passive description of their likely murder, but she wouldn't lie and say that she pitied their outcome. Had she not grown up with her grandfather, she could've possibly suffered a similar fate.

"A side effect of your and Gojo's power as sorcerers becoming known throughout the world," Utahime murmured. "Sorcerers are feared by many non-sorcerers, so children who can't protect themselves often become the victims of hate and fear of the unknown."

Geto grimaced. "Yes, I'm afraid so. We do our best to find them as quickly as possible – some not fast enough, and some, unfortunately, not at all – but simply putting a roof over their head and food in their bellies and throwing them in classes to learn how to control their abilities isn't enough."

Before he could gesture at the chair on the other side of the room, Utahime brought it over and sat down in it. She quickly looked over the papers, taking a brief intake of information. All in all, sixteen children had been suggested by their teachers for individual lessons. The majority were older students, most likely because they had been found later and had been forced to work on their own for longer. The younger ones, from what she could see, had gone through traumatic experiences that had disrupted their progress, like Jirou and Hifumi. It was a lot, especially since she wasn't sure how much time and how many people would be involved in this.

Sitting back in the chair, Utahime fought the urge to tug on her hair. "This is…"

"I know." Geto sighed. "But I'm pleased to see how seriously the teachers took this. They were all interested in the idea" – he snorted – "though they were concerned about the additional workload." She rolled her eyes, but it wasn't entirely an undue concern. "Nonetheless, they thought it was a good one, especially the teachers that work with the older students. They can be a lot more resistant to change and work, so it'll be difficult but needed."

"Hm, yes, but the older the student, the easier it is to teach them complex jujutsu concepts."

Geto held his chin thoughtfully. "Satoru had an idea actually."

Utahime lifted her gaze from the papers. "He did?"

"Yes, I discussed this with him as well. You know how important your…progress is here to him. He doesn't want you to just be with him. He wants you to be a part of our family." Geto tilted his head. "I'm rather surprised he didn't tell you."

"He likes to pretend like he doesn't work or think about things too much," Utahime said, though she was a little disappointed too. It was one thing for him to repeatedly tell her that he wanted her to feel like she belonged here, but it would have been nice to know he was thinking about her work too. "But he was a teacher too, and he was good with the students. Even Megumi learned a lot from him, though he didn't want to admit it."

"I think he's a bit shy," Geto said.

Utahime snorted. "Gojo? Shy?"

"He wants to impress you," Geto continued. "He wants to prove himself to you – that he's not just…the monster that the other side made him out to be." He shrugged, as if he couldn't care less about people's perception of him. Maybe it didn't. "He'll probably be irritated that I told you this idea before he could figure out how to bring it up, but that's on him for being slow."

"How thoughtful of you."

Geto grinned. "At least I'm giving him credit for it."

Leaning back in the chair, Utahime asked, "Well then, what's the idea?"

"We could use some of the older students – ones not on the list, of course – to act as mentors to the younger children," Geto explained. "Sometimes, they can be more receptive to older kids, looking up to them like big brothers or sisters. It'll give them a sense of stability and family, something that they've lacked in life. The older students can practice self-control and monitor their cursed energy, and the younger students will have examples to work by as they learn the basics."

"That's…" Utahime blinked. "That's actually a very sound idea."

"There are some students that I know will volunteer," Geto said. "They're very eager to prove themselves." He looked at her sideways. "I don't think Mai will be interested."

Utahime shook her head. "Definitely not."

"And Yuta…" Geto gave her something of a sheepish smile. "I think he's a special case with Hifumi and Jirou. They work well with him because of his connection with Rika, but other children might not be as…receptive to his cursed energy."

Honestly, Utahime couldn't argue with him over that. Yuta had gotten a lot better since she'd first met him, even with some of the students other than Hifumi and Jirou, but she couldn't imagine him doing something like that, at least not yet. He was still too anxious and his cursed energy was overwhelming and… She wouldn't say it was creepy , but when he allowed to seep out more than normal, it was unsettling for others that didn't know who he was or what it meant. Besides, he had enough responsibilities on his shoulders. She didn't want to add more.

"I'll ask Nanako and Mimiko," Geto said. "It'll be good for them. They keep to themselves a lot – something I enabled when they were younger, I'm afraid – so I'd like for them to get more involved with others."

"They're special," Utahime murmured.

"They are," Geto admitted with a nod, "but they're not above everyone either, no matter how much I love them." He let out a tired sigh. "They adore Yuta – I think in part to spite me because he's a boy and also because he's as strong as me – but they don't like to hang out with the other teenagers. They can be…distant."

Utahime had gotten that sense when she met them, the two girls sizing her up quite sharply. Nanako had been the snipper, more outspoken of the two, but Mimiko's dark gaze had weighed heavily on her. "If you want them to volunteer to help out, don't tell them I'm involved. I don't think they like me too much."

Geto laughed. "No? It's okay. They don't like a lot of people – and they're very protective of me."

"Yes, because I'm very threatening," Utahime replied dryly. "I could hurt you."

"You could," Geto mused. "They know how important Satoru is to me – even if they also think he isn't good enough – and so they thought that you might be trying to take him away or separate us." Before Utahime could insist she was doing no such thing, he held up a hand and continued, "I explained that wasn't the case. Satoru has loved you for longer than he's realized, and I knew that when he brought you here."

Utahime didn't know what to say to that, muttering a quiet, "Sorry."

"Don't be," Geto insisted. "You've certainly shaken things up, but…I'm glad you're here."

Clearing her throat, Utahime started, "Yes, well–" and then awkwardly returned to the papers. She straightened them out on the desk, organizing them from youngest to oldest, anything she could do to distract herself from the way he was looking at her. It reminded her too much of that night in his bedroom, but Gojo wasn't here to be a barrier. She could feel her face heating up, but she was determined not to give it any weight or meaning.

It was nothing. This was nothing. She was nothing. They'd come to a truce more or less when it came to Gojo, but that was it.

"I think we could start with the older students," Utahime said, hoping her voice was stronger than she felt. "We'll be able to build more of a standard with them and then work our way down to the younger children."

Geto stepped around to her side. "Agreed."

"I'm not sure how you want to pair students up with teachers for individual lessons." She reached out to bring the older students' files closer to them. "We could do it by volunteer basis since they're more familiar with the students, or maybe you and Gojo can choose them since you know–"

She made the mistake of turning to look over at Geto as she spoke, only to find that he was much closer than she'd anticipated. He had leaned in close to read over her shoulder, one hand resting on the desk to hold himself up. She startled, but she didn't move, staring at him closely. A strand of his long hair had fallen over his shoulder to rest on hers, so close that it nearly brushed against her lips as she breathed.

"You know," Geto drawled in a low tone, "there's another way you could hurt me."

Utahime could barely breathe. "Geto…"

Instead of backing off, Geto used his other hand to brush her hair over her shoulder, wrapping a strand around a finger, his focus somehow both intense and soft. "It's not fair. Gojo expects too much of us. You have to share him with me, and I have to share him with you. But he won't share either one of us?"

"Is this…?" Utahime's chest rose and fell with an unsteady breath. "Is this supposed to be another lesson for him?"

A smile slowly tugged at Geto's lips. "Do you see him anywhere?"

"Then is it a lesson for me?"

"It can be." Geto allowed her hair to unravel from his finger, only so he could cup her face. His thumb fell to her lips again, pressing down on them, the insinuation there. She couldn't speak and struggled to breathe, watching him watch her. "I confess I had ulterior motives when I sought you out today. I knew Satoru would be busy. I wanted to spend time alone with you. It's highly unfair of him – to bring you here to be with us but try to keep us separate for himself."

"So I was brought here to be shared between the two of you?" Utahime managed to force out.

His thumb didn't dip between her lips like she thought it might when she spoke, but he was clearly holding back. He liked touching her. She could tell from the way his eyes darkened even further as he looked her over, the gentle way he touched her, as if he might snap and become too much if he didn't restrain himself.

"We're already sharing Satoru," Geto said, his eyes lifting from her lips to meet her gaze. "Why not share each other as well?"

"It sounds awfully messy," Utahime told him, "and selfish."

Geto smiled again. "I already told you I'm a selfish man. Besides, Satoru has us both. This way, we're making it more equal."

Utahime's heart skipped a traitorous beat. "Geto, I don't think we should…"

He measured her with a careful look, watching her face for every little microexpression, every flicker of emotion. "Are you saying no because you're afraid of Satoru or because you don't feel the same way?"

"I…" Utahime bit her lip, brushing against Geto's thumb. She didn't know, and that was what scared her more. It was easy to know that she loved Gojo and even wanted him despite everything he'd done. That was simple to recognize and even understand because she'd had feelings for him before, try as she might deny it. With Geto, it felt like she was clambering around in the dark. Having any sort of feelings for him beyond a wary respect made her uncomfortable and ashamed, like she was betraying Gojo in some way, like she was unnatural. Was she falling into some sort of trap that would explode in her face? Was one not enough?

( You couldn't settle for one mass murderer, her conscience scolded mockingly. You had to allow two in – and you say that you aren't a traitor. )

"Tell me, Utahime," Geto said softly. "I won't go a step further if you tell me no."

"It's weird, isn't it?" Utahime asked, practically pleading with him to see reason since her heart had apparently fallen victim to madness. "The three of us sharing each other like it's perfectly normal – it's weird , and I can't–" She hesitated when he didn't even blink, absolutely no reaction to her words yet, not until she finished. "I can't measure up to either of you. I'll never be enough. You're both on completely different levels than me, and I'll always pale in comparison. I'll never fully be able to be what you or Gojo want."

"And what do you think I want?" Geto asked.

Utahime shook her head imperceptibly. "I don't know."

"Then please, if words can't suffice, allow me to show you."

This time, when Geto pressed his lips against hers, Utahime wasn't caught unaware. Even though she was fully prepared for it – even though she had known the exact moment when it was going to happen – her heart still skipped a beat. She didn't freeze up. She didn't push him away. She didn't even try to protest. Instead, she closed her eyes and allowed it to happen, sinking into the kiss as if it was always going to come to this no matter what.

Once again, she was reminded of how different Geto kissed compared to Gojo. There was no frenzied passion that sent her mind spinning, no pushing against her that would render her unbalanced, no show of strength that left her overwhelmed. It didn't make it any less though, just different. He still carried a sense of power, his fingers lightly gripping her chin to keep her facing him, his lips soft but methodical as they molded against hers. He was in control, directing the kiss. She knew, if he wanted, he could switch things up on her and throw her off, but he was patient, soaking her in, drowning her more until he remained her sole focus.

With each passing second, she was damning herself further, giving in to him more and more, and she knew, if she wasn't careful, he would completely take her over. It was both terrifying and elating, especially when his tongue brushed over her lips. She opened her mouth to him without thinking, and he licked inside, growing a little more intense. The sensation was thrilling, making her think of the way he swallowed curses, and she whimpered, which only seemed to encourage him. He let go of her chin, sliding his hand over her cheek and around the back of her head, fingers digging into her hair to grip tightly and yanking her head back.

Utahime gasped, pulled away from him to breathe, and blinked her eyes open. Geto remained close, his lips only a few inches away from hers, eyes roaming over her very intently. She was acutely aware of the darkness in his gaze and the flush of her cheeks as she caught her breath and stared back at him in return. His grip on her hair was tight, just shy of painful. He didn't let go as he stood upright to tower over her, tugging her head further back to keep her eyes on his.

"That was much better, Utahime," Geto told her in a deep murmur, running a finger up her exposed throat and under her chin. She stayed very still in the chair, even though everything in her body was screaming to squirm. An awful pleasurable sensation had built up inside of her, but she didn't want to give in. She got the feeling that if she were to even falter once, he'd devour her completely, and that frightened her as much as it excited her.

Still breathing heavily, Utahime stared up at him, wide-eyed and bemused and– And she didn't know. It didn't seem right to compare how she felt right now to how she'd felt when Gojo first kissed her breathless. It was similar in the sense that she felt a mixture of arousal and fear, frustration and confusion, but it was also different. She had always thought that she was standing on the edge with Gojo, but now she knew better. Gojo showed his emotions far more than Geto, so he was easier to measure and understand, always had been. With Geto, she felt like one false step would send her careening into darkness, and he would hold her hand the entire way down.

"Geto…"

It was, of course, in that moment when the door swung open. Utahime's heart shot into her throat as she watched Gojo stride into the office, but when she moved to jerk away from Geto, his grip on her hair tightened enough to hurt. He kept her in place, also watching as Gojo took in the scene with a blank expression on his face. He was wearing his blindfold, so it was hard to tell who he was looking at exactly, but she swore she could sense the moment his eyes landed on her.

As much as she wanted to shrivel up and hide away from him, Utahime merely gripped the edge of the desk tightly with one hand and balled up a handful of her hakama in the other. "Gojo, I–"

"It's okay," Gojo cut in, oddly placid despite the unreadable look on his face. He shut the door and walked over to them, Utahime's stomach twisting with each step, not saying another word. It was unusual, but she knew from experience that a silent Gojo could be deadly. He might not have seen her and Geto kissing, but he didn't need to see it to know. It was plainly obvious in the way Geto held her in his grip, the flush of her cheeks, probably guilt in her eyes.

He'd brought her here seemingly because he insisted that he cared for her, maybe even loved her as some suggested, and she had betrayed him with his best friend.

Gods, she'd really fucked herself over here and for what? A brief makeout session over paperwork?

Still not letting go of her, Geto casually asked, "How's Yuta?"

"Great," Gojo responded easily. "Honestly, better than great. Your chances of taking Rika for yourself grow lower each day."

Geto snorted. "I've moved beyond that plan. Yuta's a part of the family now, is he not?"

"Indeed." Gojo looked past them, taking in the paperwork spread out on the desk. He was quick-witted, quickly able to figure out what they'd been going over before being distracted. "You two having fun?"

With a sharp grin, Geto quipped, "Quite a bit actually – just getting to know each other more intimately."

Gojo leaned in close, his lips just a hair's breadth away from Geto's ear, a very serious look on his face. "Invite me next time. I'd like to see just how intimate you two can be."

Utahime's face burned. "Gojo!"

Switching things up immediately, Gojo grinned down at her, bending over so he could cup her chin and kiss her sweetly, even though Geto was still fucking holding onto her hair like it was some sort of leash. Utahime did all she could to keep up with him, overwhelmed by the two very different sensations and how adoring Gojo was acting with her. It didn't make any sense. She had expected him to at least be petulant, maybe irritated with one or both of them. There was a little tension in his body, but he seemed to be working through it.

Gojo pulled back just enough to nuzzle his noses with her, cute and playful, then tugged on his blindfold to wink. "It's okay, seriously. I don't want you to think I'm displeased with you. A little perturbed that Suguru felt the need to sweep you away and do this in private? Yeah, admittedly, but I'm not mad."

"Are you…?" Utahime blinked at him, her whole heart probably exposed to him. "Are you sure?"

"I promise, Hime." Gojo kissed her again, softly in a way that made her cursed energy shutter toward him, and reached back to poke Geto in the side. "Now let her go. Who's scaring her now?"

Geto laughed, but he did let go of her hair, allowing her head to drop. "You were right. She's fun to play with."

Gojo's hand dropped from her chin, his fingers brushing over the lapel of her kosode where her skin could be seen. "Does that mean we can shirk work for a bit and have some actual fun?"

"I think we've allowed ourselves to be distracted enough as it is," Utahime insisted tartly, raising her hands above her head to fix her bow. Geto's grip on her hair had loosened it, and it was the one thing that might make her feel less out of sorts once fixed. While Gojo flashed her a melodramatic pout, Geto nodded in understanding, though there was an amused smile playing at his lips. "Either you both need to sit so I don't feel like a child compared to you giants or I'm taking my leave. I don't know if I can handle you both right now."

"Not yet, at least," Geto quipped.

Utahime shot him a withering look as if he hadn't just kissed her out of her mind. "Shut it."

"You know that temper of yours gets me going, right?" Gojo teased.

"I said shut it!" Utahime threw her hands up in the air, shoving the chair back so she could stand up. "Never mind. I can't deal with you two right now."

Gojo was quick to stop her, pressing a hand down on her shoulder to keep her sitting and pushing the chair back toward the desk. "I'm joking! I'll behave, I swear."

"Right," Utahime grumbled.

She'd believe it when she saw it, which was usually never, but Gojo gave her his most earnest look.

Geto harrumphed in agreement, but he did walk back around the desk to sit behind it. Once he seemed sure that she wouldn't try to get up and run away again, Gojo grabbed an extra chair and brought it over to them, sitting it beside her. She wasn't completely oblivious to how closely he sat beside her nor did she jump or argue with him when he rested a hand on her knee. He needed some reassurance and, quite truthfully, so did she.

After all, something had shifted. She saw it in the way that Gojo and Geto occasionally glanced at each other, through a squeeze of her knee from Gojo, the knowing yet calm smile on Geto's face. She felt it in her own heart, the way emotion seemed to flicker to life within her chest at each glance and touch, confused and irritated yet wanting nonetheless. She could feel it in the air – sense it in the combined energy in the room.

Gojo's cursed energy had always been strange, too powerful and unsettling, whereas Geto's was disquieting and smothering. She had always struggled to manage both at the same time, though she'd done her best not to show it. Her cursed energy, she'd learned through trial and error, naturally sought to resonate with others. It had something to do with her technique, meaning that, in a sense, if she was surrounded by higher level sorcerers, she could build herself up to be even stronger. Unfortunately, it was temperamental, as it meant she was handling more energy that she wasn't used to, so she rarely allowed herself to use her technique or hold onto the entirety of her cursed energy.

Such a problem was never more difficult than when she was surrounded by Gojo and Geto, both of whom seemed to know exactly how much she was struggling and used it to their advantage. It was truly terrible to know that she could be more than what she was now with them, just as they both repeatedly told her, but she was still afraid of what that might do to her and how much things would change.

In this moment though, oddly domestic as it was while they discussed the work together as a team, Utahime wasn't so sure she could avoid it. Perhaps they'd all been hurtling towards this conclusion since the very beginning, no matter what any of them did to fight it.

Chapter 25

Notes:

I struggled a little with starting this chapter because I wasn't sure how to set up this arc/progression without it just being a lot of talking, so I decided to just jump into it instead. I mean, we all sort of knew this was coming, so why not get into it? This originally had another scene in it, but then I wrote the last line and realized that it was fitting to end it there instead of dragging it on. That way, the next chapter can have a stronger and more emotional impact. :)))) We in the shit now.

Chapter Text

When Utahime found out that representatives from the three clans would be visiting Gojo and Geto's stronghold, she could barely believe it. Hell, she struggled to accept the fact that Gojo had told her without any prompting instead of springing it on her last second. She had gotten the sense that something was in the air – everyone was bustling about with more energy than usual – and both Mei Mei and Gojo had hinted at it, but it still shocked her.

The following week had been spent preparing for the visit, everyone working hard to make sure everything was in tiptop shape. The representatives, which were supposed to include the actual heads of each family (save for the Gojo clan, who they all knew had a more or less false head in Gojo's stead), would be given an inside look at the operations here, in order to show off the world that Gojo and Geto were envisioning. A world built around sorcerers, for sorcerers, instead of tending to non-sorcerers and hiding in the shadows.

A grand show of power without any force. She had little doubt that they would be chomping at the bit to get involved once they saw this. Gojo and Geto were still somewhat seen as terrifying and cruel monsters – men who could destroy cities with a snap of their fingers – so to see this more idealized and intellectual side of them would be a relief. The chance to progress their families, the top tier of Jujutsu society, would be impossible to pass up.

Still, Utahime wouldn't say the clans were docile or weak by any means, but it was like a fox walking into a lion's den.

"Nothing bad is going to happen," Gojo insisted.

"I don't understand why they would willingly send the heads of their families here," Utahime said. "They're literally putting their lives in your hands."

Gojo held out his hands. "We're very convincing." She gave him a flat, unimpressed look. "And we made a Binding Vow that no harm would befall them during their visit here."

Utahime raised an eyebrow. "You actually put yourself in a Binding Vow with them?"

"To be fair, neither Geto nor I have any intentions of harming them," Gojo explained. "We're holding these meetings to avoid any more bloodshed between sorcerers and to start building a future and better society for jujutsu." He waved a dismissive hand. "Besides, it's not like they pose a threat to either of us. Attacking us on our own grounds would be insanely foolish, so we agreed to the Binding Vow to put them at ease." He wasn't wrong there. Even if Naoya and the other clan representatives were all first grade sorcerers, they wouldn't be able to compare to Gojo and Geto. "It was more for…Yuta's sake."

"Yuta?" Utahime furrowed her brow. "He had to do the Binding Vow too? Is it because he attacked the Zen'in clan? You didn't want any retaliation against him."

"Oh, no, I'm sure he would've welcomed the opportunity to defend himself," Gojo said, a sheepish smile crossing his face. "We had to do the Binding Vow because of him. There were concerns that he might, ah…kill Naoya if provoked in the slightest."

Utahime snorted. "He does inspire murderous feelings."

"Mai handled herself exceptionally well during the meeting with the Zen'in clan," Gojo sighed, "but that doesn't mean she was entirely unaffected by seeing them again. It shook her up far more than she'd ever admit to any of us, but you and I both know she experienced a lot of awful shit when she was under their roof."

Wilting slightly, Utahime dropped her gaze. "I know."

Gojo stepped forward, rubbing her arms. "You did your best to protect her."

"It wasn't enough," Utahime muttered.

"No, it wasn't, but your hands were tied," Gojo told her, "and we had to more or less tie Yuta's hands to ensure he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize these negotiations. He and Mai are quite close, and he's very protective of her. Naoya is smart enough to know, especially after witnessing Yuta's strength, that any show of weakness or divisiveness on our side would make us look bad."

Utahime sighed. "And he could use Yuta's protectiveness of Mai against him."

"He's cunning, and he's stupid," Gojo said. "In that case, he would probably expect Geto or I to interfere so we wouldn't damage any potential relations between the Zen'in clan and us, but I'm more apt to just let Yuta kill him and be done with it." He rubbed his thumb in circles on her arm, and she could tell his gaze was on her even with his blindfold on. "He's hurt a lot of people in his bid for power and control."

Gojo wasn't wrong. Then again, so had Gojo and Geto. He seemed to conveniently forget that. Utahime glanced away, not wanting to reveal her own discomfort. It wasn't as if she hadn't wished for Naoya's death before. They had all complained about the young head of the Zen'in clan, somehow a branch-off and a step-up from Naobito, but none of the others had received the brunt of his terrible personality like she had. She was often a target and a source to take out his frustrations.

"It's going to be okay," Gojo told her again. "Yuta has grown exponentially in self-control over the past few months. He's no longer just the weapon Suguru thought to make him."

She wanted to believe him. Even Geto had seemingly been easier on him – a little nicer, with more praise and understanding. With Utahime spending more time with both Gojo and Geto, Yuta didn't need to follow her around all the time. He still came to the classes, especially the ones that left the safety and privacy of their secluded room, but he'd been given more free time.

"He should enjoy his youth too," Geto had said, with Gojo adding, "We don't want to rob him of that when he's already lost so much of it."

They were a good team, more effective against her than she liked to admit.

All this planning, all these secret meetings, were finally coming to a head. Utahime hadn't even been involved in any of them, and she was nervous. For the first time in months, she would see people from her old life – and it was her old life. She'd come to accept that in the past week, though it didn't make it hurt any less to think about it. She could beg until her lips were blue, but there was no way the clan members would see her as anything but a traitor, especially since Geto had brought up wanting to talk about the "teaching program" she had created.

They were really sticking her in a corner here, but that did not mean she was going to allow them to completely control her.

Hence why she was ignoring the beautiful kimono hanging in the corner of the room by bringing up her concerns.

It couldn't last forever though. Gojo knew she was avoiding it – she hadn't been able to stop her eyes from widening briefly when she woke up before skittering over it and pretending like it wasn't there – but she could only talk about other things before it became painfully obvious.

A patient yet knowing smile flashed on Gojo's face. "Utahime."

She turned away from him. "No."

"Aw, c'mon, Hime, I got it specifically for today!" Gojo practically whined, pouncing on her while she wasn't looking.

Utahime stumbled, his weight knocking her off balance, but he kept her from toppling over. She swatted at his arm, snapping, "I'm not wearing it! Give me my usual outfit. I'll feel more at ease in it."

Gojo dropped his chin on her shoulder, a pout at his lips. "But you'll be absolutely stunning in this."

While Utahime wasn't one to tout her beauty, she didn't think he would be wrong in this case. The kimono was beautiful, a light blue with an intricate white flower pattern. And then there was the gorgeous black obi with a green and gold pattern decorating it. The fact that colors would obviously draw comparisons to both Gojo and Geto was not lost on her. It made her blood boil just looking at it, the statement loud and clear to anyone that saw her wearing it.

She belonged to them.

"I'm not your little doll to dress up and show off," Utahime muttered through gritted teeth.

"No? That's a shame. You're so beautiful. I just want everyone to see it." The teasing lilt of his voice in her ear made her shiver, her humiliation compounding when Gojo pressed his lips against her neck. If he was trying to wear her down, she had to stand her ground no matter what he did. He made it very difficult though.

Squirming in his grasp, Utahime ground out, "Gojo, stop it. That's not going to persuade me."

"Then what will persuade you to behave?"

Utahime damn near jumped out of her shoes at the sound of Geto's voice. She hadn't expected him to show up, figuring this was just a game between her and Gojo, but perhaps they'd taken longer to get ready than he'd anticipated, so he had come to see what the hold up was. Instead of Gojo, for once, it was her.

Gojo chuckled at her startled reaction, the vibrations tingling on her skin. "She won't wear the kimono we got her."

"Why not?" Geto asked, his tone as calm as a placid lake. "You don't like it?"

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. She loved it. The kimono was more beautiful than anything she'd ever owned by far, the fabric alone probably costing more than half her wardrobe in her old closet at the school. She idly wondered what they'd done with her belongings, if they'd packed them up somewhere or simply gotten rid of them. Surely Nanami or Yuki would've made sure none of her more personal possessions were destroyed.

"Why won't you wear it, Utahime?" Geto pressed.

"You know what it will look like," she grumbled, not wanting to meet his sharp gaze.

"Like you're beautiful?"

Burning with embarrassment, Utahime admitted, "Like I'm yours."

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, panic constricting her for a brief moment. It took a lot for her to say that out loud – to both of them – but judging by the way Gojo hummed along the column of her throat and the knowing smile on Geto's face, they were pleased with the admission. It was one thing to say that Gojo was trying to parade her about, but Geto as well? A part of her had to wonder if she was being presumptuous or maybe even arrogant to believe that both men would want to do that with her. Didn't they have each other to lean on and show off? Why her too? Or were they simply trying to rub salt in the wound – to show that even the most loyal could be converted to their side?

It was more than that though. This was a deeply personal statement in her opinion. The clan members would know, as they often associated clothes with status. She'd be wearing something on par with them, something she would have never done when she was a mere teacher working underneath the higher-ups.

"I'm not going to wear it," Utahime said, trying desperately to keep any shakiness out of her voice. "I'm not going to let you parade me about in front of the clan members. I've no doubt that at least one person will make a snide comment about it – or it will somehow be reported to the higher-ups even if this is supposed to be a clandestine meeting." She clutched at her robe, as if the flimsy material could protect her. "Do you want to humiliate me further?"

"Tell her, Satoru."

Gojo finally pulled his lips away from her neck, the pout back on his face. "But I wanted it to be a surprise."

Utahime managed to jerk out of his grip, turning around to face him. "Tell me what?"

"Go on," Geto urged. "It's the only way. She won't be able to say no then."

After the two men stared each other down, Gojo conceded with an unhappy sigh. "Fine." He turned back around to look at Utahime, a slightly petulant expression on his face. "Megumi is coming."

"What!" Utahime's heart didn't seem to know what it wanted to do: drop into the pit of her stomach, shoot up into her throat, or skip a beat. She wasn't sure who to expect to come to this visit of sorts, although Gojo had told her that the heads of each clan would be here, along with other chosen members underneath them, but she would have never expected Naoya to allow Megumi to join them. This was supposed to be seen as an honor of sorts. "Isn't that risky on their part? The higher-ups and many in the Zen'in clan were concerned about his personal ties with you."

"That's true, but there are other issues at hand as well," Gojo pointed out. "Naoya's hold on the Zen'in clan isn't as ironclad as he would like. Some people still believe Megumi should be the head since he possesses the Ten Shadows Technique. Leaving him on his own while Naoya is meeting with us, which not everyone agrees with, is a risk in itself."

"For a coup?" Utahime frowned. "Megumi wouldn't agree to that. He has no interest in being the head of the Zen'in clan."

A rather sad smile crossed Gojo's face, one that disquieted her. "I think we both know our interest sometimes carries very little weight for our future."

"So Naoya is bringing Megumi with him to – what? – keep an eye on him so no one tries to usurp him?"

"That and to see how he reacts to being around Satoru again," Geto added. "If Naoya or the other Zen'in clan members see any potential for Megumi to betray them, it'll give them cause to keep him in line. Megumi knows that he's walking on thin ice. There will still be time for Naoya to throw him at the mercy of the higher-ups before they officially make the decision."

Utahime rolled her eyes. "So he's playing both sides and using Megumi as a potential scapegoat to save himself and knock him out of the line of succession."

Geto held out his hands. "More or less."

Gojo hummed thoughtfully. "It'll be interesting to see him again. I've missed the kid."

Eyeing him sideways, Utahime couldn't help but irritably shoot back, "Oh yeah? That's surprising to hear since the last time you two crossed paths, you nearly killed him."

"He attacked me first," Gojo pointed out. "And I didn't nearly kill him. I was only teaching him a lesson."

No, if Gojo had wanted to kill Megumi, he would've been dead. Nonetheless, Utahime couldn't agree with the statement that it had been a lesson, like back in the day when Gojo used to train Megumi to hone his combat and cursed technique abilities. She could still remember digging her nails into her palms as she stood outside of the recovery room after Shoko had tended to him, fighting back the urge to take a shot for every wound that she listed.

She had to wonder how Megumi was feeling – apprehensive, angry, confused. Gojo had been a mentor to him, saved him from the Zen'in clan only to basically dump him back in their laps again when he betrayed them all. And now he was coming here to see what Gojo had left him for. He might not admit it, but she had a sneaking suspicion that he'd put in so much work with Yuta to make up for what he'd lost with Megumi since it couldn't be replaced or replicated.

"I know my relationship with Megumi is…complicated," Gojo continued carefully, "and I also know that you're very important to him. You were there when I first took him in – and you were there for him when I left him. You're important to him, and he cares about you a lot." He rested his hands on her arm, gazing down at her almost imploringly. "He's worried that you're being harmed and forced to do things against your will, but I want him to know that you're being taken care of – that you're safe and loved."

Utahime's eyes slid from his to the kimono, taking in the colors and design once more. "You want him to see that I belong here – and if I do, then maybe he does as well."

Geto snorted softly. "Clever girl."

"Of course I want him here," Gojo told her. "I want to protect him too – and help him, as I did before. He's my responsibility, and I don't want those bastards to get their claws in him and warp him into something he's not."

"So you're using me to sway him to your side so you can mold him into how you see fit?"

"No, that's not–" Gojo paused and then huffed out a breath. "He saw how the higher-ups, first grade sorcerers, and members of each clan treated you. He knew it wasn't right, and I can only imagine how much he grew to hate it in the past year." He wasn't wrong. Megumi was hard to corral, the first one to speak up if she was disrespected or if any perceived slight was made against her for any reason. "But it's not like that here. You're being treated with the proper respect you deserve, right? You're being given opportunities to create and build and actually teach . He should see how great you can be when you're actually given the chance to grow."

"By making me wear a pretty outfit," Utahime stated flatly.

"And, yes, we get to show you off," Gojo added with an indulgent smile. "You would've never worn something like this before, always forced to show subservience to prove your loyalty. Being modest showed your obedience." He gestured to Geto, drawing her attention to him. "But we're not asking for your obedience or loyalty, Utahime. We're just asking for you – at your greatest. I want Megumi to see what we're capable of and to ease his own worries."

Utahime looked back and forth between both men, her frustration building as she glared at them and neither one faltered, until finally she threw her hands up in the air. "Okay!" She brushed aside Gojo, stomping past Geto, and yanked the kimono from where it was hanging. "I'll wear the damn thing."

"Yay!" Gojo cheered, like a five-year-old that had just been told they could eat candy after dinner.

She rolled her eyes, trying to ignore just how nice the material felt in her hand. "You're ridiculous."

"Thank you," Geto said politely, leaning over to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. It was such an innocent gesture, but she still blushed. The kiss was so casual, like they did it all the time, and Gojo didn't even blink, the bright beam still on his face, but it rattled her deeply. Her heart shouldn't have skipped a beat like that, pleased and excited. "We just want to make a good impression. Everyone is putting their best foot forward."

"Fine, fine," Utahime muttered. "Now get out so I can get dressed."

Geto's smile broadened, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We can't stay to watch?"

"Out!" Utahime burst, which only made Gojo laugh. The two men shuffled out of the room, leaning in close to one another to speak in a hushed tone that she couldn't quite catch. She spun around as the door was pulled shut behind them, not wanting to see their faces, and clutched the kimono against her front.

What the hell had she fallen into? It felt like another dimension entirely.

After taking the time to carefully dress in the appropriate undergarments and then layer on the kimono, she combed her hair until it was silky smooth. Instead of wearing her typical white bow, she hesitated and chose another one that Gojo had bought her, a light blue one that would match the kimono. She put on the dark obi last, unable to stop herself from admiring the contrast. Once she was finished getting ready, she took a deep breath and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

It really was beautiful.

She'd never felt stranger in her entire life.

After knocking on the door to signal that she was ready, Utahime waited quietly, her nerves frazzled. She couldn't help but want to know what their reactions would be upon seeing her – if their eyes would light up, if they would darken, if they would remain blank-faced and unmoved. Shame swept over her at the desire of wanting them to be affected in some way, but she didn't have time to berate herself, not when the door swung open to reveal the men again.

Gojo's eyes did, indeed, light up, widening slightly with delight. "There's my beautiful girl, pretty as a doll."

Utahime swatted at his hand when he tried to touch her bow. "Stop it."

But when she glanced over at Geto, her stomach did a little flip. His eyes had darkened, a sort of hunger in them that she'd come to associate with him. It unsettled her, leaving her to struggle with how to react, but he merely smiled, saying nothing. For some reason, that made everything feel even more complicated. Without any words, he'd managed to throw her off completely, which in turn made her lean in closer to Gojo for solid ground.

"Shall we?" Geto gestured forward. "Our guests should be arriving soon. It would be rude not to meet them out front."

"Oh, then we should definitely take our time," Gojo piped up.

Geto nudged Gojo forward and, with a much beleaguered sigh, he started to walk, taking Utahime's hand and tugging her along with him. He took his time, keeping his steps slow, more likely to grate a little on Geto's nerves than to accommodate her. Quite a few people were already outside when they made their entrance, sorcerers bowing appropriately as they made their way to the front. Utahime tried to keep herself measured and calm, but she caught some of them peering at her, some with curiosity and some with disdain.

They paused where Mei Mei, Yuta, Mai, Nanako, and Mimiko were standing. All three girls were fussing over a flustered Yuta, as if trying to pull him in three different directions, while Mei Mei watched with amusement. The moment Yuta spotted them, however, he used them as an excuse to separate himself from the girls, jumping forward out of their reach and then bowing properly.

"C'mon, kid," Gojo said with a laugh, yanking on his collar. "What did we say about bowing to us?"

"Yeah, Yuta," Nanako piped up, poking him in the side and making him jump upright like a startled cat. "You have the same status as them."

Yuta smoothed the collar of his shirt. "My cursed energy levels are just as high. I don't have the same status."

He wasn't a leader like them, after all, not even with a commanding rank. It didn't matter, of course. Anyone that could sense cursed energy knew he was special, but he was doing his best to tamp it down, having learned to control himself better so that he didn't unsettle everyone.

Before the girls or men could say anything else, Yuta turned to Utahime and smiled earnestly. "You look very beautiful."

Utahime smiled back. "Thank you, Yuta. You look handsome as well."

Mei Mei fingered the sleeve of the kimono. "Absolutely stunning work. You did well, Gojo. I'm impressed you got her in it."

"Not without some convincing," Gojo sighed.

"Stubborn girl," Mei Mei teased. "Don't you want to be the envy of every woman here?"

"No," Utahime replied flatly, which only made them laugh again.

Untangling herself from them, she let Gojo, Geto, and Mei Mei discuss business amongst themselves and glanced around to take in the scene. Almost all the commanding members of the group were here, including Negi and Suda, but a few from dinner were absent, probably away on business or whatever it was they did. Death, chaos, destruction, underhanded deals, curse obliteration and containment. It wasn't all bad, Geto had reasoned. Their goal was to get rid of curses as well. Other higher-ranked members were outside as well, but there was one noticeable absence.

Not a single non-sorcerer was in sight, all of them carefully hidden to do the work behind the scenes.

Out of everyone here, Mai contained the lowest amount of cursed energy. She was silent, wearing a stunning green and black cheongsam, staring out blankly at the road. Her expression was difficult to read, but Utahime had a feeling that she was struggling with the idea of working alongside the Zen'in clan again. Her own father had tried to kill her, after all, when she ran away instead of fighting. She'd probably hoped that Gojo and Geto would obliterate them, not align with them.

Stepping away from the others, Utahime touched Mai's shoulder. "You look so grown."

Mai tore her eyes away from the road, glancing at Utahime before looking down at herself. "Mei Mei helped me pick it out."

Her tone was just as hard to decipher, but Utahime was able to pick out the hint of nervousness in it. They were meeting on their ground this time, but that didn't make it any less difficult to see her family again.

"You'll be okay," Utahime told her. "You're stronger now."

Mai gazed down the road again. "I just wish they were all dead."

Utahime's heart sank, but she could understand why Mai felt that way – or at least, why she told herself that she felt that way. They had an extremely complicated relationship, but she knew for a fact that Mai still loved her twin sister. It was best not to bring that up now, so Utahime kept her hand on Mai's shoulder, giving her silent support as Gojo and Geto made their way to the very front and center of the group. Only when Yuta appeared on her other side did Utahime let go, watching out of the corners of her eyes as Mai leaned in closer to Yuta. Their hands brushed against each other's, never quite linking up.

It wasn't five minutes later, precisely on time, when cars began to drive in. People shifted on their feet, trying to shake out their nerves and interest before the other clan representatives arrived. Gojo and Geto remained utterly still, at ease. As did Yuta. She could hear Nanako and Mimiko whispering to each other while Mai was stiff and silent.

When the first car parked, Mei Mei let out a dramatic sigh. "Here we go with the pomp and fare."

"It's quite the show, isn't it?" Utahime muttered under her breath.

"It always is with the clans," Mei Mei surmised. "Gojo and Geto are little different in that respect."

Geto was always the more formal and polite of the two, but Gojo was on better behavior than usual as they greeted each clan representative. There was still a pinch of disdain in the casual way he greeted them, one hand in his pocket as he shook hands and the blindfold hiding the fact that his slight smile wasn't meeting his eyes. Neither of them bowed, but each clan representative did, even the one from the Gojo clan that Utahime vaguely recognized. So his father hadn't come. Interesting. That was probably a slight, but Gojo didn't seem to care.

The moment Zen'in Naoya stepped out of a vehicle, slick as a fox, Utahime felt rather than saw Mai stiffen slightly. She'd held her own against him during the meeting, much to everyone's pride, but Gojo was right. Seeing her family again, especially Naoya, had rattled her, likely bringing up memories that she'd tried very hard to bury under her better life here. She slid her hand behind her back, as if she meant to grab something that wasn't there, but then Yuta quickly snatched her hand, holding it there and stilling her while still gazing forward.

Utahime herself felt sick to her stomach over seeing Naoya again, a wave of disgust crashing over her. He remained unchanged, an air of smugness about him as he carried himself forward. She was curious to see if he would bow to Gojo and Geto, knowing that he didn't even do it with the higher-ups. Out of all the representatives so far, he had the highest amount of cursed energy and was likely considered to be one of the strongest. He didn't compare to Gojo and Geto, of course, but the other clan members did make a wide berth for him.

She was a little surprised when Naoya bowed, though not as deep as the others, but then again, he was clever. He could be respectful if the play called for it, even if it was only for show. At this distance, she couldn't hear what was said between them, although it looked as if Naoya had greeted Gojo more personally since they'd known each other growing up. He stepped aside, snapping at a member of the Hei to follow him, his eyes turning sharp as he surveyed the scene.

When his eyes found her, they narrowed slightly before a slight grin tugged at his lips, no doubt taking in the state of her dress and how much it differed from the way she'd carried herself before.

Utahime did not smile back as she met his accusing stare directly, but it took everything in her not to flip him off in front of everyone. She couldn't promise she wouldn't snap at him later if he tried to speak to her.

As much as she wanted to focus and catalog every clan member that had come to visit, Utahime couldn't deny that her main goal was to see Megumi. Had they lied to her in order to make her more complacent and get her to agree to wear this outfit? No, they wouldn't do that. Then again, she didn't know why she thought they wouldn't trick her when they'd done far worse things before. It was absurd to trust them so easily, almost as absurd as believing that Megumi would–

And then he climbed out the back of a car, stone-faced and stiff, and Utahime's heart threatened to stop altogether.

He was wearing more traditional clothes, which she knew he didn't like, especially judging from the way he tugged at his collar. His hair was unruly as ever, untamed no matter what. She thought he'd grown taller, maybe an inch or two, but from this distance, it was hard to say. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes glaring at everyone and everything as he hung behind another Zen'in clan member. It was so typical of him that Utahime felt the urge to cry. She wanted to run to him now; she wanted to push him back into the car and beg him to leave; she wanted to keep him as far away from Gojo and Geto as possible.

Instead, she was forced to watch as Megumi was pushed forward to greet Gojo and Geto. He was tense and irritated, especially when Gojo leapt at the chance to be less formal. His smile broadened, more genuine than with anyone else, and he pulled Megumi into a hug that knocked him off-balance. Megumi was instantly flustered, his face turning pink before he remembered himself and shoved at Gojo, probably snapping to get off him. Gojo didn't appear to be insulted as he let go and stepped back, his grin filled with glee.

Megumi swiped at his clothes, straightening them again, and said something that Utahime wished she could've heard. It must have been something at least a little rude judging by the laugh Gojo made and the smile on Geto's face. Always so stubborn and difficult, she could be grateful that he hadn't changed too much in her absence.

She was taken aback somewhat when Gojo gestured in their direction, and Megumi immediately turned his head to follow. The relief on his face when he spotted her was palpable, and her heart ached over the pain that he must've felt after she was taken. He'd probably experienced guilt, telling himself that he should've done something to keep her away from Gojo. He had been there that night, even though she had told him to stay behind. He wouldn't let her go alone, concerned something bad would happen to her.

He couldn't have known what would befall her. None of them had, least of all Utahime.

"Megumi!" Naoya called out, a sharp reprimand to remind everyone who was in control of the Zen'in clan. Megumi was quick to frown, but he tore his eyes away from Utahime, lowering them to the ground as he trounced forward to stand behind Naoya and wait until they were directed to go inside. He didn't look up again, even though Utahime watched him closely. She accidentally caught eyes with Naoya again, looking away with a scowl over the stupid smirk on his face.

With the last representative greeted, Mei Mei hummed. "This is going to be entertaining."

"That's one way to look at it." Truth be told, Utahime wasn't sure what to think. She wanted to be grateful and happy to see Megumi again, but she was also scared. What would he say? What would he think? How could she possibly explain to him what had happened since she asked Gojo to take her and spare the other sorcerers?

If she was dressed like one and worked like one, then how could she tell him that she wasn't a traitor?

Either way, Utahime didn't know how she was going to make it through the next few days, not when she was already standing on pins and needles and this had only just begun.

Chapter 26

Notes:

This chapter completely ran away from me, so I had to move two scenes to the NEXT chapter. I should've expected that. Thanks for the support that allowed me to update this fic in the middle of a super busy time of year for me! This chapter is basically just Utahime being a mom to everyone. LOL Love that for her.

Chapter Text

Considering that she wasn't technically a part of Gojo and Geto's inner circle (not in the business sense, at least), Utahime wasn't much involved in catering to the visiting clan representatives. She was kept on the outskirts of it with the majority of the loyal followers, watching as things happened on the outside. After the grand arrival, they were instructed to carry on as if it was a normal day. They wanted the representatives to see what life was like here – what they were trying to accomplish, what they could offer, what they were building and planning.

Utahime wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not by that. While she recognized most of the clan representatives and they no doubt recognized her, the scar of her face too identifiable, none of them had paid her much mind even when she was on their side. She was just a teacher, which she'd come to realize was a sham in itself. They didn't have a regular school, not like before, with normal lessons and the like. They'd tried to do their best, but at the end of the day, they'd been creating soldiers, not sorcerers, and had to teach as such.

She filled in the gaps that the others could not – attending to the students' emotional needs, if not their physical ones. Yuki and Nanami were better instructors at the end of the day, at least in that respect. Geto would tell her not to discount herself so much, but it was the truth. She was better here , and that disquieted her. Any clan rep that stopped by while she was teaching would see that. They'd see her working in a similar capacity as she had back then, and they would know.

Iori Utahime had turned her back on them and joined the other side's cause.

It didn't matter if they were here to decide whether or not they wanted to do the same thing. They would condemn her for the very decision that they would make months later without knowing the context. They would never understand what she had gone through to get her or the decisions she'd made to find herself in this position. Had she been killed, it would've been a much different story. The higher-ups would've glorified her as a martyr, spoken of her as a beloved and very important member of their rebellion, used her as a prop in their own propaganda to make sure people feared and hated Gojo and Geto.

The bastards were using her for their own propaganda as well, but she wasn't going to throw that in their faces again. Neither one had been pleased with the accusation, and though they'd not exactly said or done anything since, too busy with their roles as the leaders of this group, she had a bad feeling that she would suffer the consequences later.

With all the beginning fanfare out of the way, Yuta took her back to the classroom. She wanted to change out of the fancy kimono and into her normal clothes, but one glance from Gojo before he left was all the warning she needed. It would be on him if it was ruined during the day before the dinner tonight. She was working with children whose curses and techniques were known to be volatile. A beautiful kimono was not the appropriate clothes to wear.

Or perhaps they were, because the second Utahime entered the classroom, Hifumi gasped, "It's so beautiful!" and all the young girls in the class bolted out of their chairs to fawn over her. They were more careful when fingering that material than Utahime had expected, their eyes bright and smiles wide with excitement. The younger children had not been taken outside to welcome the clan representatives, busy with the morning routines, so they were mostly unaware of what was going on.

"Okay, that's enough," Utahime decided after more than a few minutes of distraction. "Let's return to our desks."

While most of the girls sighed and did as they were told, a few of them hung around, clearly more interested in why she was so dressed up than their first lesson. Even Jiro stood nearby, his cheeks pink as he mumbled, "You look pretty."

Utahime smiled at him warmly. "Thank you."

"Did Geto buy it for you?" Hifumi demanded, so intense that it caught Utahime off guard.

She hesitated. "Well–"

"Your obi is his colors," Hifumi pointed out, sharp-witted as ever.

"Yeah, but the kimono is Gojo's colors," another girl, a spirited girl named Takari, added. She folded her arms across her chest. "Blue like his eyes and white like his hair!"

Hifumi wrinkled her nose. "You don't know what his eyes look like. He's always wearing that dumb blindfold."

Takari gasped. "You can't call our leader dumb!"

"He can be sometimes," Utahime muttered. Both young girls gave her quizzical looks, having not clearly heard what she'd muttered under her breath, so she gave them a reassuring smile and nudged them back to their desks. "Go on then. You're keeping your teacher waiting."

As the remaining students returned to their desks, Ishihara made his way over to her and cleared his throat. "Are we, ah– Are we sticking to schedule then? I didn't know since…"

Utahime hummed thoughtfully. "Everyone was told to continue our day as if it was any other, so yes, I would say so. If they consider the outside lessons to be abnormal or disruptive, then we'll return to the classroom."

He nodded and went back to the front. While she could understand his concern, she didn't think he needed to worry that much. This was a show, after all. They would want the representatives to see how far they were willing to teach, how different and more involved they were with learning, and so a practical lesson involving children that were much younger than the average sorcerer student would be of interest. She rather hoped they wouldn't show up today, wishing they would focus on the more established and loyal teachers, but Gojo and Geto were a mischievous and manipulative duo.

She could potentially sabotage them in her own way, but…

A part of her wanted to stick it to the bastards that hadn't believed in her either. Maybe she was more vindictive than she realized and maybe, just maybe, a part of her was proud of herself.

It made her feel a little uneasy.

"I have to leave," Yuta sighed from the doorway, "but I think you'll be okay during the day."

"I'll be fine," Utahime reassured him.

"Yeah!" Hifumi exclaimed, pointing a finger at her curse curled up in the corner of the room. "We'll protect her."

A crooked smile managed to work its way onto Yuta's face, even though Utahime knew he wasn't happy about being forced to deal with the clan representatives. "I'm trusting you."

Utahime touched his arm. "It's just politics – a lot of talking, a lot of bullshitting, a lot of air."

The smile faded from Yuta's face, replaced by a grimace. "I know. It's…not my strongest suit."

"Well, remember," Utahime told him. "At the end of the day, no matter how clever and smart they seem, you are stronger than all of them – and they know that and it scares them. There might be a Binding Vow in place to keep them safe while they're here…" She leaned in close, lowering her voice so the students couldn't hear her. "But that does not account for what happens after they step foot off these grounds."

Yuta half-heartedly chuckled. "Is that a hint or a suggestion?"

"Gojo and Geto are obvious threats, but you're the unknown, a wild card," Utahime said. "Keep them on their toes, even if it means not talking. The more they wonder what you're thinking, the more they'll show their hands."

Tilting his head back, Yuta let out a tired sigh. "This is definitely more in Mai's wheelhouse. What she didn't learn while with the clans, Geto and Mei Mei taught her. I never had to talk to people."

"I know," Utahime said, "but you're not just a weapon anymore, okay?" She nudged him toward the door and gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "You have a good heart, which is more than most of those stuck-up bastards can say. I know Mai appreciates that more than you being a threat."

Swallowing thickly, Yuta nodded. He bowed to Ishihara and then again to Utahime before waving goodbye to the children and leaving the classroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. Even though he was out of sight, she could still feel him, his unique cursed energy strong enough to be felt as he walked away. Rika's presence loomed over them, but it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as it had been months ago. Even the students outside of Hifumi and Jiro had grown more at ease with both signature cursed energies.

Yuta was meant to protect, not destroy. Maybe this would help show him that. A shield was just as important as a sword.

"You know," Ishihara said conversationally as he organized a stack of papers on his desk. "For not believing in the cause, you can be very inspiring to its members. Okkotsu was little more than a terrifying shadow before your arrival. I've heard talk that he'll actually take a commander position here soon thanks to your support."

It was meant to be a compliment, but Utahime winced. She wasn't trying to inspire the cause so much as help people, but she supposed that there wasn't really a difference. By helping a member, she was in turn helping the cause that she had so vehemently proclaimed to hate. She truly was a part of the system now, wasn't she? It seemed so unfair and disheartening. So many people had been hurt, by jujutsu society and the outside, and it was easy to see how their pain had led them to certain paths, both destructive and good.

"I'll be in the back room working on the individual lessons if you need me," Utahime stated, stiffer than she would've liked.

Ishihara noticed her clipped tone, blinking in surprise and then nodding. "Ah, okay. My apolo–"

"Don't," Utahime cut in, raising a hand to stop him. "It's unnecessary."

Especially when he wasn't exactly wrong. She was tired of the apologies though. They meant nothing in the end. She had dug her own grave, so to speak, even if she hadn't been the one to choose the plot.

Ishihara bowed, but she could tell that he wanted to finish the apology. It wasn't for her so much as it was for Gojo and Geto. He did not want to come off as rude or disrespectful to her, not when everyone in the compound seemed to know of their leaders' fondness for her, even if they didn't understand it. She wasn't going to tattle on him though, not like many people did to the higher-ups. Having been on the bottom before, she'd never been able to hold much leverage, her word meaning little against people like Naoya. She wouldn't use her supposed power here.

The fact that she had any power, when she was supposed to have been kidnapped, only unsettled her more.

By the time they moved outside for more practical and one-on-one lessons, Utahime had almost forgotten that there was a potential for observation. The planning took up a lot of her time, especially since she had to comb through multiple papers of notes on students compiled by Ishihara. If there was one thing he was good at, it was being exceptionally detailed, though a part of her wondered if he was trying so hard simply because it was her. The irony was not lost on her. She'd never received or commanded such respect before, not even from her friends if she was being honest.

They respected her, sure, but as the weakest, well… They were protective of her, willing to step in or take over if needed – and maybe even when it wasn't.

Utahime was in the middle of directing Takari to spread her cursed energy throughout her body when she noticed a small change with some of the students. Most of them were busy "playing" in groups of three, but a few became distracted, going quiet or not participating as much. Only when she spotted Hifumi perking up and waving at something did Utahime allow her own attention to be pulled away from Takarai.

When she glanced back, Utahime stiffened, spotting Geto pressing a finger to his grinning lips. Hifumi listened, returning to her lessons, and then Geto's eyes swept over to Utahime. The grin didn't leave his face. She schooled her expression, glancing over a few clan representatives following him.

Megumi was one of them, hands buried deep in the sleeves of his kimono. He was looking around, a hint of confusion and irritation bleeding into his normally neutral expression. Naoya was with him, likely refusing to let Megumi trail far from him. She was a little surprised Gojo wasn't with them, but it had probably been a strategic choice. Megumi had no emotional attachment or history with Geto and neither did Naoya, so putting them with Geto would put everyone more at ease.

Every little thing was a move on the chessboard, and she could only hope that Megumi was paying attention. She didn't want him to be a pawn that was sacrificed, much like she had felt for the majority of her life.

"As we mentioned earlier, education is incredibly important to us, so we start at a younger age than what is considered typical in jujutsu society," Geto explained as they made their way toward the class. "Many sorcerers that joined our cause also brought their families along with them. We also seek out children whose techniques and cursed energy have made them the target of those that are…less understanding of their capabilities and situation."

"Kidnapping?" a representative from the Kamo clan interjected.

"Saving," Geto corrected.

Recruiting, Utahime thought darkly, but she shifted her focus back to Takari.

"Am I doing it?" Takari asked. "My fingers are tingling!"

"Mmhm, yes, your cursed energy is flowing through your arms all the way down to your fingertips," Utahime said, using her own cursed energy to feel out the young girl's. "But you're still keeping it up top. It needs to flow throughout your entire body, even to your wiggly, little toes."

Takari giggled, wiggling her bare toes in the grass. It was easier that way – to connect with the cursed energy that flowed normally throughout the earth. Unlike Hifumi and Jiro, Takari didn't seem to have an innate technique, but she possessed a good amount of cursed energy that, if cultivated properly, would probably be at the level of Momo or even Noritoshi. In another world, she wouldn't have been approached until maybe middle school, assessed then, and then likely treated as a potential Window. With more practice and focus on her at a young age, she'd be far stronger and more confident by the time she reached high school age.

"We're fortunate to have many members dedicated to building our future," Geto continued, stopping at some perceived edge of the classroom. "Their hard work isn't for free, of course. Each teacher is paid accordingly. We value them and pride ourselves on giving back whatever is earned. The classes are larger than what is typical of a jujutsu class and must also include a standard education, so it is more difficult, which is why we've started to implement other strategies. We want a well-rounded education from a young age, and that includes jujutsu."

"Such things are normally taught within a family," the same Kamo representative pointed out.

"True, but not everyone with cursed energy is taught formally," Geto pointed out, "so how can we expect them, even as adults, to teach their children what they were not?" He gestured to the children, who were doing their best to focus on their group activities. It was hard. They were young and suddenly very much aware that they were under a different sort of observation, even if they didn't understand it. "Life is a balancing act, and is it not better to teach them how to use both sides of their lives from an earlier age?"

"Yes, but–"

"Not everyone gifted with cursed energy, or even a technique, has the opportunity for education as well," Geto stated, cutting the man off smoothly. "We're offering both, and it's served us quite well. We're not just preaching propaganda and filling the children's minds with ideals. We teach math, writing, other languages should they show interest, even special niche topics if we have someone willing to give lessons to older students. We are cultivating our future. Anyone not interested in that is, quite frankly, stuck in an archaic era, and we're trying to change that."

Naoya had remained shockingly quiet for the most part, allowing the Kamo representative to make a fool out of himself, but he stepped forward now. "Tradition is very important to the clans."

"Of course," Geto amended. "I'm not a part of one, not like Satoru, but that's where we balance each other out. We would want to pay honor to such traditions while also ushering in new ones to better ourselves and the future jujutsu sorcerers." Instead of eyeing Naoya sideways, Geto faced him directly, with a smile of all things. "If someone meets the minium of being a sorcerer, we will work to teach them and build them further, not ignore them or use them as fodder as previously done."

Although Naoya's expression somehow managed to remain neutral, Megumi coughed from behind, earning him a sharp rap on the back from another Zen'in representative. He didn't appear to be moved, and Naoya continued to look Geto directly in the eyes with a mild expression on his face even though the comment had been for him. Mai was a perfect example of this. Although she had an innate technique of her own, her cursed energy was minimal, and that, along with her being a woman, had rendered her essentially useless in the Zen'in clan's eyes.

Not in Geto and Gojo's, however. They had already once used her for a very important meeting, showing how much trust and faith they had in her. She was a valued member of this group whereas she had been nothing with her own family.

What a waste, Geto said without speaking aloud. It was a slap in the face, one that the Kamo representatives would feel as well, seeing as how they'd done the same thing. Noritoshi had only become important when it was realized that he was the only child of the current head to have inherited the Blood Manipulation Technique.

"And what about her?" Naoya demanded, clearly more frazzled than he wanted to show.

Geto tilted his head. "Who?"

"Iori," Naoya spat. He stepped forward, focusing all his venom onto her. "Are you admitting to turning coat?"

Under Naoya's vicious gaze, Takari withered, but Utahime soothed her with a hum, rubbing her arms. Takari wasn't the target. No, he was resorting to his old tactics – using her as a punching bag to make himself feel better – but things were different now. She wasn't the same person as before.

Maybe she had been lying to herself about not abusing her power here.

Standing upright, Utahime smoothed out her kimono and turned around. "I'm helping students, just as I always have."

"Their students," Naoya pointed out. "Their army."

"Will you not be a part of it as well if the Zen'in clan joins?" Utahime countered. "Perhaps I'm simply ahead of the curve."

Naoya was downright seething at this point, though it was only noticeable in his eyes – and his cursed energy. It was strong enough for others to sense, Takari stepping behind Utahime to hide. Before, Utahime would've glanced away, maybe even lowered herself to the ground and apologized, debased herself and asked for his mercy so that the students under her did not suffer as she would. She did no such thing now, meeting him head on with a flat stare.

In the end, after Megumi moved, it was Geto who stepped forward and said, "Utahime is a valued member of our community. No, she did not…come here under usual circumstances. I would be remiss if I tried to describe it, but we're very grateful for our presence here." He offered her a warm smile, and Utahime faltered, a little embarrassed by the flattery in the face of men that had discarded her before. "She brought up a flaw in our teaching and helped come up with a system to resolve it. Later on, we can go into that in more detail. For now, I think we should let her continue her work."

Tight-lipped, Naoya let his eyes roam over her before turning back to Geto. "Of course."

Utahime did not say a word. The implications were clear enough. Geto could have said their work, but he didn't. He wanted Naoya to know that it was hers – that she was a part of this – and so any more comments would be an insult towards her. They could ask her later about it, and she would be forced to describe their program. She took a deep breath, glancing back at Takari and patting her on the head to reassure her. Men like Naoya knew how to instill fear with their presence, but learning how to combat that was not a lesson she wanted Takari to learn just yet.

"Ah, may I…?"

Utahime whipped her head around at the sound of Megumi's hesitant voice. Unlike the others, who had started to move along with Geto, he had stayed behind. When everyone glanced in his direction, wariness flashed across his face, but Megumi had never been one to falter under attention. He didn't particularly like it, but it didn't make him shy either, just a little awkward and blunt. She had always liked that about him whereas the higher-ups didn't know how to handle it. Gojo had loved it as well, taking so much glee in it.

Sensing what he wanted to ask, Geto nodded. "Go on then. Ishihari can bring you to us later." When Naoya opened his mouth to protest, Geto easily continued, "This is meant more for the heads and higher up members of each clan, so you're not necessary to be here." He glanced at Naoya. "Unless you think his presence is important?"

After a moment of warring it over with himself in his mind, Naoya plastered the fakest smile onto his face. "Of course not. It's only natural for Megumi to want to check up on his former teacher."

Both Utahime and Megumi stiffened, but neither one of them said anything. Geto remained impassive as well, not even looking back at Utahime like she thought he might. No, this was business for him. Naoya and Megumi spoke briefly, hushed and aggressive whispers and scowls, and then, neutral expressions back in place, Naoya actually shoved Megumi toward her and then turned away. With a nod toward Ishihari, who was paler than she'd ever seen him before, Geto turned and walked away, the rest of the representatives following him.

Megumi didn't move, taking a deep breath and finally turning his attention to her, and Utahime stopped breathing.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Utahime crouched down and placed her hands on Takari's arms. "You did very well today. I'm proud of how much you've improved in such a short amount of time. Join Yoshiba's group, okay?"

Takari brightened, her shyness almost forgotten now that the unknown sorcerers were gone. "Okay!"

Utahime watched Takari join a group of children. When she stood up, she caught eyes with Ishihari, who nodded in understanding. He would take over the class, finishing the practical lessons for the day, while she attended to a different sort of business. Now that Megumi was here, alone, with her, she was suddenly nervous. She'd spent so many days and nights missing him, wishing she could find out how he was doing, if his clan was bearing down on him, if the higher-ups were berating him, if Nanami would be able to wrangle him or if Nobara might convince him to do something rash–

Maybe she was putting too much importance on herself. Maybe he'd stayed behind so he could question her about why she had betrayed them and joined Gojo's side – if she had ever cared about them at all.

"You–" Megumi cut himself off, sounding like he was afraid to continue.

Putting a smile on her face, a genuine one, Utahime finally turned to face him. "Hello, Megumi."

Something pained flickered across Megumi's face, a break in his composure. "You're okay. You're really– You're okay –"

He didn't seem to know what to say, and so she stepped forward, reaching up to cup his face in her hands. When he leaned into her touch instantly, closing his eyes, she let out a small breath. She'd been terrified that he would jerk away from her, maybe throw a few accusations in her face, and she didn't think she'd be able to deny them. But she missed him – she missed him and worried about him terribly and just seeing him, no visible wounds on him at least gave her some relief.

"We didn't know what to think," Megumi continued, his voice strained. "You were just gone and there were no reports about you, no news, nothing. The higher-ups swept the whole thing under the rug, like it never existed, just a mission gone awry. The kids were gone, you were gone, Gojo gone, and we had nothing ."

"Everything happened so fast," Utahime admitted. "Gojo knew the whole thing was a trap. The children were bait for me, and I was bait for him." She took a deep shuddering breath, the memory of that night drifting to the forefront of her mind. It felt like so long ago, another lifetime, but it had only been a few months. "He was going to kill everyone – he knew you were there – or maybe it was just a bluff. I don't know. I panicked. I asked him to spare everyone and just take me. He could've done it and still killed everyone, but he didn't."

Megumi opened his eyes, gazing down at her with a guarded look. "I knew it. You sacrificed yourself."

Utahime grimaced. "That's not how the higher-ups spun it, is it?" She glanced around, taking note of Hifumi and Jiro who were eyeing them curiously, and allowed her hands to fall away from Megumi's cheeks. "And it must not look like that now to you either."

Swallowing, Megumi hesitantly said, "You've…had to do…what you needed to do – to survive."

"You can say it, Megumi," Utahime told him gently. "This looks – it is – more than just survival."

"You're a part of their cause now?" Megumi asked. "One of their followers?"

"Not exactly." Utahime didn't know how to describe it and, judging from the confused and almost hurt look on Megumi's face, he didn't understand it either. She didn't expect him nor did she expect him to condone her actions. "It started out that way. I was worried that if Gojo lost interest or Geto decided I was a nuisance, they would do away with me – and I was worried about Hifumi and Jiro. They weren't acclimating well. I thought…if I could do something to help, then maybe…"

Then maybe she wouldn't be killed. But it was more than that now, far more than that, and even she had to admit that. She had helped create a program that would improve things – she could say that she had a hand in their operations – and so she was directly contributing to the cause that she'd once fought against. She couldn't deny that now, not to Megumi's face.

"I must look like such a traitor to you," Utahime said.

"No, it's…complicated," Megumi replied, looking and sounding somewhat abashed. "I knew it would be, even when Mai made those comments about you."

Utahime furrowed her brow. "What kind of comments?"

"Ah, well…" Megumi glanced away, his cheeks warming. "She…implied that you were in a…romantic relationship with Gojo…and with Geto."

"Oh." Utahime should've been beyond blushing over that by now, but hearing it from Megumi was embarrassing. He seemed so innocent about it, like he wasn't saying that she was sleeping with the two greatest curse users of their time. "It's, uh– I'm not with– It's not like I'm with both of them–"

"It's okay. You don't have to explain it." Megumi shuffled uncomfortably. "I was a kid, but it was obvious Gojo had feelings for you, even back then. I think… I think he would've turned long before he had if it wasn't for you."

Shaking her head, Utahime sighed, "I wasn't enough."

"None of us were. I never met him, but Geto was his only equal." Megumi hesitated. "At least, that's what everyone thought. They were a seemingly unstoppable force and we were under the belief that just one of them had to be defeated or they had to be separated somehow. Now though…"

"Yuta." Utahime understood immediately. Yuta hadn't gone along with Mai to the meeting with the Zen'in clan to protect her. It had been a proper introduction, his official entrance into this fight that he'd been participating in far away. Now everyone understood just how badly the scales were tipped in their direction.

Megumi peered at her. "You're familiar with him?"

A very faint smile appeared on Utahime's face, gentle and soft. "Gojo assigned him to protect me after he brought me here."

"Protect you," Megumi repeated slowly. "From who?"

Utahime waved a dismissive hand. "From some of his more fanatic followers, commanders that would consider me an enemy and threat to the cause or them, even Geto. The meeting with the Zen'in clan was the first time he was sent away from me, but he was so worried about Mai."

She could tell he wanted to ask more about that, likely for Maki's sake, but maybe he would want to try to speak to Mai directly. It would be hard. Mai might not open up to him the way he wanted. They had been friends in their own way when they were younger, Mai relying on both Megumi and Maki. She was not the same girl that he remembered. Her time here had made her more independent, maybe even angrier and more understanding of what she'd suffered. It had just been a way of life back then.

Instead, Megumi focused on something else. "From Geto? He seems to like you now."

"Who knows what he likes or thinks of me," Utahime said, huffing out a tired breath. "That's how this whole thing started. I was…afraid of him. He'd even considered having me killed, something he admitted later. It's not that I wanted to make myself useful. I just didn't want to be easily discarded. I understand their goals, I do, but I can't agree with their methods and didn't want to be a toy that Gojo might eventually grow tired of. What would be the point of me living after that?"

"No, I get it. I think." Megumi hesitated. "Are you…happy? It looks like they're treating you well."

Utahime struggled not to grimace. "It's different. I don't know how else to explain it."

"It's weird," Megumi added. "I wasn't sure what to expect when Naoya told me I was coming with him. I guess I pictured something more terrifying – something darker and insidious. It's the image we were given, especially since Gojo and Geto destroyed so much in the beginning."

"They're focusing on rebuilding now," Utahime said.

"Geto spoke of you with such respect and Gojo was so happy to talk about your work here," Megumi pointed out. "I wish the higher-ups had treated you like that. It's what you deserved . Seeing it here, knowing it was possible the whole time, it does make me wonder if maybe they're right."

"It's an illusion," Utahime jumped in quickly. "Don't forget that. This cause is still built on the blood and bones of non-sorcerers' lives." She clenched and unclenched her hands at her sides, the move reflexive to keep them from stiffening, but she didn't have any cursed tools on her person to carry like she had before. "It's admittedly easier to forget than I'd like. This place is idyllic. As a teacher especially, it's what I wanted – how I hoped things could be. Everything I wanted to give to you all, it's right here , within my grasp, and yet…the terrible truth remains. Thousands of innocent people have died for this to exist."

Megumi's shoulders dropped. "They'll go for it – the clans, I mean. It puts them back on a pedestal. Naoya's pride might get in the way, but he's interested."

Utahime snorted. "That's not surprising. He's already got a superiority complex."

"This whole thing's a sham," Megumi huffed irritably. "It's just for show."

"It is," Utahime admitted.

Down to the very clothes they were wearing, the guided tours, the pandering, the smiles, the way all the non-sorcerers that worked the place had been relegated to the shadows. Even Gojo had called it out when he first showed her around. It was a very nice show though, one that would cater specifically to the clans' desire for more power and recognition of their strength and importance to jujutsu society.

"Enough about this place," Utahime said decisively. "How are you? The others? Is Nobara still acting out recklessly? Have you found more of Sukuna's fingers for Yuuji? How is the Zen'in clan treating Maki? Are Yuki, Nanami, and Kusakabe handling the students okay with me gone or were they able to find a replacement for me?"

Megumi blinked, caught off by the swiftness and intensity of her questions. She wasn't trying to distract him from things she couldn't explain – like her exact relationship with Gojo or even Geto – but there were things she was dying to know. Mei Mei had only given her a glimpse of what life was like for the other side in her absence, likely information she'd been able to glean using her curse technique.

"You're worrying about us like always," Megumi mumbled, as if maybe he hadn't believed it himself.

"Of course," Utahime said. "Maybe I can't be your teacher anymore, but I still care about all of you."

"After seeing what your life is like here, I wondered…if you'd forget…"

Utahime shook her head. "Never."

"I'm sorry." Megumi's shoulders somehow managed to sink even further. "I shouldn't have…" He glanced down. "Things have been difficult. Your disappearance unsettled everything, more than anyone could've anticipated." He snorted, peering up at her again. "I don't think the higher-ups realized just how important you were to us – or how integral you were. Everyone was devastated, but we tried to carry on, work harder, do better and support each other like we knew you'd want. We used to come up with all sorts of plans and strategies on how we'd rescue you."

"Used to?"

"What if you were better off here?" Megumi shrugged. "You weren't treated well on our side – not by the higher-ups and not by clan members. There was a constant threat hanging over your head. Maybe you were…safer here."

Maybe she did have a chance for a better life here, but Utahime would not fool herself. She had been taken out of one cage, only to be locked in another. Nonetheless, Megumi did not need that image lingering in his mind. It would only make him feel guilty for something he had no control over. While she considered him to be a much more important piece on the table in whatever game Gojo and Geto were playing, they were still both pieces, and she would protect him in whatever way she could, from the higher-ups and from both men.

However, before Utahime could figure out a way to reassure Megumi, they were interrupted, Mai's lofty voice calling out, "There you are, Megumi. We were beginning to wonder if you were attempting to spirit Utahime away."

Glancing away from Megumi, Utahime spotted Mai and Yuta making their way toward them. Yuta was trailing behind her, still in the nice clothes he'd been wearing earlier today, although the top button of his shirt had been undone. Whereas Mai walked with a hint of pride, back straight and head tilted, he looked uncomfortable, keeping his eyes trained on the ground, though his body was relaxed, at least relieved to be away from the other clan members.

Megumi turned around, offering his cousin a flat look. "I considered it."

Mai sniffed, folding her arms across her chest. "You have more brains than my sister and Kugisaki, at least. They would've tried something like that."

Ignoring the jab at his friends' expense, Megumi asked, "You were looking for me?"

"Yes, the head of your clan is apparently bitching about your absence." Mai smiled coldly. "I didn't know you were on such a tight leash. Is Naoya holding you by the back of your collar?"

"I didn't know you were going to run errands for him like you did before," Megumi shot back.

The retort was unexpected, especially when Megumi knew better than most what Mai had suffered at the hands of their cousin. The smile fell from Mai's face, replaced by an unreadable expression, and even Utahime opened her mouth to say something, but then Yuta stepped forward, always ready to defend Mai.

" Geto asked Mai to retrieve you," Yuta stated, "so that's what we're doing."

Megumi glanced between Yuta and Mai, as if trying to discern something between them. Yuta's presence unrattled him. Utahime couldn't help but wonder exactly how the meeting had gone. She knew there had been some sort of explosive fight, seeing as how he'd come back spattered with blood, but it must've been impressive enough to even quell Megumi's typically surly attitude and blunt behavior. Indeed, Yuta's cursed energy was pulsing stronger than usual, putting a dark cloud over them on such a sunny day.

After a tense moment of silence, Mai patted Yuta on the shoulder. "No need to be jealous. Utahime hasn't kicked you to the curb now that Megumi is here." Embarrassed looks flashed across both Yuta's and Megumi's faces, but the teasing remark was enough to break the tension. She didn't give them any time to recover, turning on her heels and gesturing for them to follow her. "C'mon then. The others are waiting. There are a few other things they want to show off before the grand feast."

"Right," Megumi grumbled, though he did move to follow her.

However, Mai paused, turning back around. "Yuta, could you take Utahime to Gojo? He asked for her. I've got this."

Instead of arguing with her, Yuta bowed respectfully. "Of course."

Utahime didn't miss the way Megumi's eyes widened slightly. To see Mai, of all people, be given such a level of respect and loyalty from a sorcerer he knew was on par with Gojo was shocking. It was one thing for Yuta to protect her, as those were the orders they would've assumed he was given, but this was different. It was genuine respect and trust. Mai didn't berate him for being so stiff and formal, a little smile on her face.

Yuta had done it for her, knowing exactly what it would look like to Megumi, but it wasn't just for show. He meant it, and she knew it.

After catching eyes with her once more, as if to ask if she was okay with this, Utahime nodded. "I'll see you at dinner."

"You'll get to witness firsthand how obnoxious Gojo is with her," Mai sighed.

Megumi grunted. "I already know how he is."

A little laugh escaped Mai as she started to walk away again. "Oh, no, it's far worse now that she's theirs."

Utahime bit her tongue, stopping herself short of berating or correcting Mai. She noticed the way Megumi's brow furrowed, but he said nothing either, choosing to follow her silently. Yuta shook his head. There would be no corralling her. She'd apparently made similar insinuations before. Plus, despite Utahime's fractured protest, she couldn't rightly say that Mai was wrong, which made things all the messier and more confusing. The memory of Geto's hand in her hair and his lips on hers was still quite vivid, coupled with the surprisingly gentle way Gojo had responded after.

Was she theirs?

"I can't wait for this to be over," Yuta mumbled, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

Utahime stopped herself from snorting, giving Yuta a somewhat sad look. It would never be over, not really. Gojo and Geto had started something that no one could stop, not even themselves.

Chapter 27

Notes:

The way this chapter and the next one has me LDKSJFDSFKJ because it's SO CLOSE to SatoSuguHime time!

Chapter Text

Dinner was predictably an uncomfortable affair. If Utahime had thought that meal with all the commanders was awkward and uncomfortable, this one involving the clans was far worse.

The one fortunate aspect of this dinner was that Utahime was not the focus, so she was able to sit at the end of the table with Mai and Mei Mei. Since she wasn't a known and integral part of their group, the leaders were surrounded by their most loyal commanders instead. When Gojo sent a pout in her direction as if to complain about the distance between them, she merely looked away, refusing to give him anything. The idiot had ruined her hair and makeup before dinner, forcing her to hastily fix it.

Poor Yuta looked torn between embarrassment and irritation to be sat closer to Gojo and Geto, more representative of his strength than if he were to sit somewhere else. His dislike was obvious, the poor boy shifting uncomfortably on his cushion, but he didn't complain either. He sat quietly, his dark gaze flickering up and down the table, only speaking if Gojo or Geto said something to him. His silent and mysterious act was effective, many of the clan members shooting him curious and wary glances.

Let them wonder, she'd told him. They didn't need to know what he was capable of. Truth be told, Utahime didn't know if she wanted to either.

He remained a dark figure, attention only brought directly on him after Geto introduced all the commanders at the table, Mei Mei included. When Yuta was not listed amongst the high-ranking members, Naoya leaned forward and sharply questioned, "What about him? Is he not a commander?"

"He's strong enough to be one," Gojo quipped, a gleeful grin playing at his lips. He seemed to take joy in toying with the people he'd grown up surrounded by, far more in his element than he'd like to admit. "The Zen'in clan experienced that firsthand, didn't you?"

Representatives from all three clans glanced at each other. They must have talked about each meeting with each other before agreeing to this – Mei Mei with the Kamos, Mai and Yuta with the Zen'ins, and Gojo with his own clan. The Zen'in clan, Naoya in particular, wouldn't want to cop to whatever defeat they'd been dealt at the hands of a single sorcerer, but Yuta was an unidentified and unknown threat, to the point where they'd essentially had to tie his hands to soothe the clans.

Smiling through gritted teeth, Naoya responded, "It's a little odd that one of the strongest members of your group doesn't hold a position of power or responsibility. Do you not trust him enough?"

"Oh, no, we trust Yuta plenty," Gojo said, clapping Yuta on the shoulder almost hard enough to rattle him. "No one believes in Yuta more than me, save for maybe Utahime. He's flourished even more under her guidance."

She flushed and looked away, not wanting to catch eyes with any curious clan members. Gojo had entrusted Yuta to protect her, something he hadn't with anyone else, not even Geto or Mei Mei, but the implication of her teaching him added an extra element to the story. He had been exceptionally strong before, but he had grown stronger with her help. She was, in part, responsible for whatever Yuta had done at that meeting.

Damn Gojo. He had to make things more complicated for her, entangling her further into their story.

"Yuta is an exception," Geto explained, much more diplomatic. "Though he's never received an official ranking, he would most certainly be classified as a Special Grade, like Satoru and I." And Yuki, but they wouldn't bring her up. Her refusal to join them was a prickly subject that frustrated them both. "He's taken on plenty of missions and done incredible work for us all over the world, but…" Geto smiled congenially and held out his hands. "He's shy. We found it suited him and us better to keep him more behind the scenes – until recently."

Naoya leaned back. "I see."

"Not too behind the scenes," Megumi pointed out. "He sliced off one of Todo's hands during the fight that destroyed most of Osaka – and he killed Ogi."

Gojo scratched his chin. "Oh, he did do that, didn't he?"

From her seat, Mai muttered under her breath, "What a shame."

Naoya shot her a sharp look out of the corners of his eyes. "You've no respect for your father? He was murdered defending his clan while you ran away."

"Yeah, after he stabbed me," Mai retorted, venom dripping from every word. She was clenching a spoon tightly with one hand, like she might use it as a knife, glaring at her cousin with daggers in her eyes. However, something must've distracted her because she looked away and caught eyes with Yuta, who, for once, was gazing at her calmly. After a moment, she took a deep breath and shook her head, relaxing her body and scooping up a bit of broth. "That's in the past though, isn't it? If we're going to work together, we need to put those things aside."

Geto nodded. "Exactly. You've grown so much in the past few months – and I hope we can all do that, even though it will be difficult and painful to set such grievances aside."

Both Mai and Naoya went silent after that, neither one of them looking at the other, though Megumi peered at her every now and then. She refused to meet his gaze. Instead, she ate as if her estranged family wasn't sitting at the table with them, speaking only to Mei Mei and Utahime and watching Yuta periodically throughout the dinner. Someone from the Kamo clan asked a question, and the conversation continued, the slight deviation pushed to the back of everyone's minds. It couldn't be forgotten entirely, but each clan was eager to get their word in before it was too late.

Gojo and Geto had put on a good show, and they were doing an even better job fielding questions now. After showing off their stronghold, the clan representatives clearly had their questions. They might've asked some throughout the day, but they'd mainly been brought around to watch and listen. Now, it was their turn to talk, and they lobbed question after question at the two sorcerers that had been their enemies. They didn't speak the entire time, sometimes gesturing to a commander to speak for them. Even Mei Mei was asked to explain things when the topic of money came up.

It was tense and strange, Utahime sitting silently next to Mai as she watched the same men who had berated and belittled her stuck listening in reverence to curse users they'd condemned. The irony almost made Utahime laugh, but then she'd catch one of them gazing at her sideways with a hint of disdain and the delicious food turned bitter on her tongue.

As if they weren't about to become turncoats too. Why should she be viewed as a failure and traitor when they were on the edge of doing the same thing? At least she wasn't pandering to them, clinging desperately to any lingering scraps of power they could get their hands on. They were failing and falling behind and they knew it. They didn't want to be eradicated, and so now they were scrambling to fit into Gojo and Geto's world so they wouldn't be left behind or become irrelevant.

This was also the first time non-sorcerers had been allowed to make their presence known. While much of the work around the compound was fulfilled by sorcerers with the relevant skill set, a lot of the menial and more demeaning tasks were taken care of by non-sorcerers. They were referred to as servants more often than not – the occasional "monkey" thrown around just enough to make Utahime wince each time – but their treatment didn't seem to concern most of the clan members, who likely viewed themselves as better anyways.

Only Megumi was the one to speak up, bluntly asking, "If they're servants, then are they paid?"

Geto tilted his head. "Are Zen'in clan servants paid?" Beside her, Mai snorted loud enough to be heard, a few people including Naoya shooting her glares. Geto gestured toward her vaguely. "There's your answer, I suppose."

Gojo tapped his lips thoughtfully. "My clan's servants were paid, but I've been told that stopped."

The Gojo clan representative, a cousin on his father's side, cleared his throat. "This war has been costly on our end. We've suffered losses more often than not and had to cut costs."

Gojo smiled. "Yes, I'm sure you've endured plenty of hardships and struggled greatly like everyone else."

Before his cousin could figure out a way to defend themselves or another clan member step in, Geto cleared his throat and leaned forward. "We have experienced loss on both sides. It took a lot of time and effort to get where we are today, but there's so much more we can and want to do. Rebuilding is difficult, but together, I think we would be capable of accomplishing great things that benefit everyone."

Except for non-sorcerers, was the glaringly obvious part he left out.

They didn't care though. The realization made Utahime's heart sink. Only their pride had gotten in the way. Now that they'd seen what Gojo and Geto were capable of doing and what they wanted to do, the clans were ready to discard their stubbornness in order to become a part of this new world. Yes, traditions were important, but it had been made clear that progress would not mean discarding the old ways entirely. They would need to adapt if they wanted to survive, and the power that was being dangled before them was too great to ignore.

The dominoes were falling into place. With the full strength of each clan backing them, Utahime couldn't see a world that was able to defy Gojo and Geto. Even the higher-ups would either fall into line or be done away with. What was the need for them? There was a new world order now, and it didn't require them.

By the time dessert was brought out, Utahime felt too nauseous to eat anything else. She'd barely been able to touch the food set before her, each course making her stomach turn worse. However, after a non-sorcerer made a mistake, just barely spilling a bit of sake in the carefully crafted box the shot glass was set it, Utahime lost her nerve. The young man was scolded coldly, his apology cut short by a swift lash of cursed energy that made him yelp. When she glanced at the clan reps, not one of them blinked, none of them perturbed or angered by an outrageous punishment.

Unlike the dinner with the commanders, Utahime knew she couldn't get away with lashing out here, too uncertain of how Gojo and Geto would deal with a flagrant display of insubordination in front of the clans. Instead, she closed her eyes and waited until the non-sorcerer was rushed out of the room, partially carried by other so-called servants. She forced herself not to wince when laughter accompanied the sliding shut door or the joking remarks that followed, but every comment twisted her gut further until she thought she might actually throw up.

Only when the moment seemed to pass did Utahime set her silverware down and push the barely touched dessert away, gesturing to Gojo if he wanted to have her share.

He tilted his head. "Are you finished?"

"Yes, and to be honest, I'm very exhausted," Utahime said, careful to keep her tone measured.

Geto nodded in understanding. "You've taken on a lot of extra work this week with the new program. Your exhaustion is understandable and appreciated. Did you want to take your leave?"

Utahime almost bit her lip, stopping herself at the last second. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not," Geto replied. "Get some rest."

When Utahime stood up, her knees threatened to buckle, but she managed to bow respectfully. "Thank you."

Geto gestured to the rest of the table. "It's been a long day for everyone, considering your travels and tour of our home. Dinner will be coming to an end shortly, and Suda and Negi will show everyone to their quarters for the next few days, but if anyone else would like to retire now, they're more than welcome to do so."

With her heart pounding – and her eyes avoiding everyone – Utahime walked out of the room, ignoring any talk at the table. She expected someone to follow her, maybe Mei Mei or Mai since Yuta had a different role for the next few days – but no one reopened the door after she slid it shut. Even though they'd been given an excuse to leave, no one wanted to do so before Geto and Gojo, probably fearing it would come off as rude.

Leaning against the wall, Utahime tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She'd been exhausted plenty of times before during her time here, both physically and mentally, but she felt absolutely drained right now. It hadn't even been that particularly difficult of the day, but emotions had run high, ones she'd been forced to tamp down, and the effort was now taking its toll on her. It would only be for a few more days, but the thought of Megumi leaving made her stomach turn, especially when there was still more she wanted to talk about with him.

It scared her though – what she might learn of what had happened in her absence. Things were easier here, more than she wanted to admit.

Even though she was tired, Utahime didn't return to her quarters, her mind too wired to actually settle down. Instead, she ended up wandering the building, a strange emptiness to it. Members of the group that weren't at the dinner had already gone to bed, the hour late in the evening, or were at work elsewhere. A place like this never quite slept, not fully, but it was quiet, many of the non-sorcerer workers hiding in their quarters or late-night workstations.

It was strange, different from the morning she'd walked around on her own, an unsettling peacefulness in the air. There was a sharp edge underneath it though, a feeling she couldn't shake, the tip of a knife pressed to the back of her neck. She walked through the garden where she used to take Hifumi and Jirou to eat before they could handle being with the other children, past the empty and silent classrooms and an assortment of rooms used for other business to keep the place running.

Once again, no one stopped her. No one called her out for wandering about on her own. No one questioned what she was doing. She was left completely alone to her own devices, trusted not to run away, as if she belonged. The food she'd managed to eat at dinner rested uncomfortably on her stomach. By the time she found herself at the front of the compound, sliding the large main door open to gaze out into the night, not even dismay felled her.

There was nothing. Things were coming to a conclusion, she could feel it, and there was nothing she could do but ride the wave – or die. It was truly that simple. If she was a stronger person, a sorcerer as committed to her ideals as she'd thought while teaching her students, she would've argued and fought with Gojo and Geto until they were forced to kill her. She wouldn't have tried to survive or make space for herself here. She wouldn't have settled. In doing so, she'd made herself complicit in the very thing she'd proclaimed to hate. It was a disappointing realization, especially when she was also forced to contend with the fact that her life was better with them.

She had betrayed them, just as the higher-ups declared.

"They let you wander around on your own without a leash? How kind of them."

Naoya's familiar, mocking lilt sliced through the silence of the night, effectively putting an end to the illusion of peace. Utahime jumped a little, but she twisted around to scowl at the man in question. His lips were already quirked upward in amusement, probably at the way he'd managed to startle her. He had liked to do that, the same as Gojo, often catching her unawares when she wasn't paying attention to throw her off. Unlike Gojo though, he didn't much like it when she reacted poorly to him instead of with respect or abashment.

"What do you want, Zen'in?" Utahime demanded flatly. "Shouldn't you be with the other members of your clan?"

"I admittedly slipped away to get a look around on my own. It's easier to get a better sense of this place without everyone cowering and pandering to Satoru and Geto." Naoya stepped forward, but Utahime stood her ground. She'd never backed away when it came to him, only averting her gaze or bowing if necessary, a point of contention between them. He could deal with it when Yuki was concerned, but not Utahime. She was weak, after all. "You can imagine my surprise when I spotted you out here all by yourself. I didn't think they'd allow that – unless, of course, you truly are all in."

Rolling her eyes away from him, Utahime replied, "I don't need to explain myself to you."

"What about Megumi?" Naoya countered. "You broke the poor boy's heart."

Utahime stiffened, unable to stop herself from peering back at Naoya. He had always known how to cut her down to the bone the quickest, striking her where she was most vulnerable. She could take a lot, something that surprised a lot of people, but when it came to her students, to the children under her charge, she was far more likely to bend or break for them. After Gojo's betrayal and Megumi's subsequent fall into the Zen'in clan's hands, she'd been forced to get more involved with them, not wanting to leave him alone to their whims. It hadn't been easy or pleasant, but she was willing to do anything to protect Megumi.

Almost anything.

"All this time you've been gone, Megumi has been so worried about you, afraid of how you were being treated, scared you might not even be alive," Naoya continued, calm and ruthless. "He pictured you being tortured and neglected – Satoru abusing you with his strength, Geto hounding you with his monstrous curses. Not knowing anything was killing him."

Utahime gritted her teeth. "Stop it."

"And lo and behold, we finally found out the truth." Naoya's gaze swept over her, down and up, taking in the beautiful kimono and obi, her carefully done makeup, the shininess of her hair, even the new bow. She knew what it would look like to him: the wife of a clan leader. "You're not suffering abuse or locked up in a dark dungeon. You're flourishing – enjoying the spoils of war, feasting on their wealth and power, bathing in their attention." His eyes glittered in the dark, the moonlight reflecting in them. "It must be nice after struggling to amount to much of anything."

"I'm not–" Utahime snapped her mouth shut, her jaw clenching painfully. It wasn't like that – and yet, in a way, he wasn't wrong either. She couldn't deny it, not entirely. "You know nothing."

Naoya chuckled. "And to think, all you had to do was bend over for them, right?" He took another step forward, now close enough to touch her, and though her mind warned her to get out of his reach, she refused to move. "How long did it take, hm? Weeks? Days? Hours? You might be weak, but you're not completely daft. You must've realized quickly what Satoru brought you here for. I couldn't understand it myself, but he was always eyeing you when you weren't paying attention. He couldn't handle the idea of anyone else getting into that cunt of yours."

When Naoya reached out to touch her obi, Utahime instinctively slapped his hand away. "Don't."

His gaze darkened, his eyes the color of the forest at night. "What? Isn't that how you got into this position in the first place? I thought you were fair game now since you're spreading your legs for them."

"Stop being ridiculous," Utahime seethed. "This isn't some kind of game. It's serious."

"Is it now?" Naoya smirked and leaned against the threshold of the door, folding his arms across his chest. "Honestly, I don't know whether to be impressed or not. I figured it wouldn't take long for Satoru fuck you, but Geto two? I expected one of them, not both. It seems you finally realized what you're meant for." His gaze swept up and down her again, taking in the outfit, settling on the black and gold obi. "Considering the way they've pandered to you here, you must be fairly good at it. They're even letting you play teacher again – giving you a semblance of power and control when we both know it isn't real."

Utahime could argue until she was blue in the face that what Naoya had described wasn't the case, but the truth was, this entire thing was even more complicated than he could've known. It would have been much easier to say that, yes, she was fucking both Gojo and Geto to get something out of this situation herself, but she wasn't. She'd denied Gojo countless times before caving in – and she was still walking a tightrope with Geto that she couldn't see an end to. A man in his position would never be able to understand, so there was no point in trying to explain it to him.

Plus, she didn't want to tell him. He didn't deserve to know about her life. He didn't deserve anything.

"I wonder how long it'll take for one of them to knock you up," Naoya said with a callous laugh. "Do you let them take turns or do they fuck you separately? Before your little class or after?" He pushed away from the wall, swaggering forward and catching her by the arm before she could pull away. "We both know how riled up you get when it comes to your students. So protective, so compassionate, you'd do anything for them."

Utahime jerked on her arm. "Let go of me."

"You're not even gonna try to deny it?" Naoya tugged on her hard enough to nearly make her crash into him, but she caught herself at the last second. "C'mon, Iori, you acted like such a stuck-up, prudish bitch with me, and here you are whoring yourself out to two men. Don't act so innocent. Why don't you get on your knees and give me a taste of what you're giving to them, hm?"

In her old life, Utahime would've deferred to him until he was appeased. She stonewalled him, blank-faced and unappealing, always hoping he would get bored before he either decided to push past the line or she snapped. It was harder than most people realized. Yuki could cheerfully rebuff him. Nanami could bluntly respond. Even Kusakabe could mutter enough to get away. But he'd always zeroed in on her, using her for target practice when he was bored. It didn't help that he had stepped in and graciously offered to help with combat training, often trying to pull her into demonstrations before her friends cut him off. A joke, he'd laugh, just a joke.

Utahime couldn't fight him. She couldn't even defend herself.

Not then, at least. This was now though, and things were decidedly different.

A cold sneer crossed Utahime's face. "Oh, please, I'm not the one that will be forced to kneel to Gojo and Geto." She leaned in close, her eyes locked on his. "I don't have to get on my knees for either of them, but you?" Her gaze flickered down to his lips and then back to his eyes. "I hope you don't bruise easily. They won't be gentle, and I don't know whether your fragile ego will be able to handle being so submissive."

Naoya snatched her by the jaw. "Mouthy now, are we? Maybe Satoru and Geto have let you run too freely. If they won't teach you a lesson, need I remind you of your place?"

Before, Utahime might've tried to backtrack and apologize – prostrate herself, gone silent until she was given permission to leave – but there was no need for that here. There were no higher-ups to punish her, no societal expectations for her to follow, no one but herself to hold her accountable. She knew in her heart that neither Gojo nor Geto would berate her for standing up for herself. In fact, they would prefer it. They had both said they wanted her to feel as if this was her place, her home, for her to become a stronger and more powerful version of herself, the one they believed she could be.

She felt that now – a power she'd never experienced before, a strange amount of control she'd never had – her own cursed energy swelling up inside her like a maelstrom. It wasn't to Naoya's level, but it was more than she'd ever let on, keeping herself tamped down and tamed to appease others. No more. She didn't have to do that here. Proper, modest, obedient Iori Utahime was gone. If she wouldn't even break entirely for Gojo and Geto, she didn't have to bend to Naoya or anyone else.

"I know my place, and it's nowhere near you," Utahime told him, a sharp smile on her lips. "You're just a pathetic manchild with a tenuous grasp on control over his family. The only reason the higher-ups tried to pressure me into a union with you was because there was no way you'd be able to convince any reasonable woman to have an heir with you, bastard or not."

A dark look came over Naoya, all the humor drained from his face. "How dare you–?"

"How dare you even think you can touch me like this?" Utahime hissed, getting even closer to him. Before, she might've faltered at the sensation of his cursed energy weighing down on her, but she'd experienced far stronger in the past few months with Gojo, Geto, and Yuta. Now she knew the truth: he wasn't that strong – and she didn't have to fear him anymore. "You no longer hold any power or control over me. I don't belong to you, and I never will."

"So you admit it then?" Naoya countered, his grip tightening on her jaw. "You belong to them?"

"I would rather be with two powerful men that respect me and acknowledge my strength and capabilities than a conniving snake who would twist me into the worst version of myself." Utahime took a deep breath and straightened her back, sweeping a look of condescension over him. "Besides, you wouldn't do shit for me. At least they have the ability and the consideration to give me something pleasurable in return."

An ugly expression befell Naoya, one she was all too familiar with. It was the look he gave her when she couldn't stop herself from opening her mouth – the only warning sign she was given before he struck her down. It had happened more than once, each time worse than the last. She could never do anything to counter it, never fight back or complain. Nanami hated it. He'd offered to say something, but she shut him down each time. Maki would scowl and Nobara would rage and Miwa and Momo would titter over her, but Kamo and Mai had always been silent. Megumi's reaction varied, obviously upset but unable to express it. She'd smile through the busted lip, dab at the blood, and shake her head.

Utahime was more than prepared to take the blow now, even tilting her chin up to accept the hit, but it never happened, not when another voice cut through the tension.

"Ah, Utahime, there you are! Satoru was worried when he found the bedroom empty."

From the angle where he held her, a person approaching them wouldn't be able to tell that Naoya was gripping her by the chin, so he was quick to let go of her before he could be found out. He took a step back, just enough to place an appropriate amount of space between them, his expression going blank in the dim light.

Tension still lined Utahime's body, unable to let it go, but she forced a neutral look onto her face as she turned around to greet their interrupter. "I'm sorry, Geto, I–"

But Geto didn't let her finish, cupping her face to tilt her head back and pressing his lips against hers in a powerful kiss. The action was so smooth and deliberate that Utahime didn't even think to question it, returning the kiss as if she had seen it coming even though it blindsided her completely. After all, it was one thing to kiss her in the privacy of his office or her tucked away classroom, but out in the open in front of a spectator – in front of Zen'in Naoya, of all people? She couldn't fathom the reasoning behind it, but there was no time for her to consider what was going on, just react as if this was perfectly normal.

When Geto pulled away, there was a slight smile playing at his lips, his dark gaze lingering on her face as her eyes fluttered open. She stared up at him, a little dazed, her lips parted as she struggled to breathe.

"No need to apologize for wanting some fresh air," Geto told her warmly. "This has been a very strange and strenuous day for everyone." He stood upright and looked over her shoulder, but he didn't lift his hand from her cheek, keeping her tethered to him. "Wouldn't you agree, Zen'in?"

"It's certainly been eye-opening," Naoya agreed, his tone neutral. "There's a lot to take in and consider."

"Thank you for keeping our precious Utahime company," Geto continued, professional to a fault. "While we consider it very safe here, there's always a possibility of something happening. We're very protective of her."

Naoya pressed his lips together, licking his teeth behind them, and then nodded. "Of course."

"I can't imagine how Satoru would react if anything were to happen to her," Geto said, stroking her scar with his thumb. "Or Yuta, for that matter. I'm sure it would upset Megumi too." He chuckled, gazing down at her again. "She sure does have a way with men, doesn't she? Absolutely captivating."

"She seems to have found a place here," Naoya said, his tone a little tenser this time.

He couldn't figure out what game Geto was playing. Truth be told, Utahime couldn't either. All she could do was watch his face and try to spot a clue, but he merely smiled at her, warm and kind. Adoring, even. This was foreign territory for both her and Naoya, neither one of them able to read Geto like they could Gojo. As open as he came off, he hid much underneath the surface. It transformed him into a terrifying figure, even when he was pleasant.

"Yes, she has, and we couldn't be more pleased," Geto replied. "I hope, in time, that you and your clan, along with the Kamo and Gojo clans, can do the same. We want to be on the same side and work together to create a better world." His hand fell from her face. She caught herself leaning forward to chase the feeling, stopping short when she realized her foolishness. He spotted it though. "Utahime has already begun to contribute, but of course, she's more than just an integral piece to our cause here. She's an important person in our lives."

"Glad to know anyone can flourish here," Naoya managed. The compliment was backhanded though, something that Geto surely caught if Utahime had. "I should return to my clan. We've got a lot to talk about before we settle in tonight."

"Of course." Geto bowed slightly and gestured into the building. "Negi can escort you. We don't want you to get lost and for something to happen."

The implication was clear: unlike Utahime, Naoya could not be trusted to walk around their headquarters on his own, and he had broken that rule. Although it must've irritated him, Naoya could put on a respectful face when the time called for it, so he bowed properly to Geto and began to walk back inside.

However, he only made one foot through the door when Geto cleared his throat and added, "Ah, don't forget Utahime. We make it a point to show respect to everyone, regardless of their status or strength."

Naoya's back stiffened. It was one thing to show respect to Geto, a powerful and dangerous curse user and a leader of a group that threatened to decimate half the world, but to Utahime? A woman he had demeaned, belittled, mocked, badgered, and even struck? Things had gotten worse after Mai ran away, far worse than Utahime would ever tell her or Megumi. Only Maki had witnessed the worst of it, if only because she had experienced it too.

Still, with Geto watching him, Naoya was forced to turn around. Gritting his teeth, he bowed to Utahime, not quite as low as he had for Geto, but nonetheless, it was more than he'd ever given her before. She bowed in return, nowhere near the level she used to do. A sneer flickered on his face, but it was gone in a flash, replaced by that forced blank expression again.

"Much better," Geto chuckled.

"You're as bad as Satoru, aren't you?" Naoya said stiffly.

"Oh, I'm worse," Geto told him, obviously amused by Naoya's humiliation and anger. "Still, I would consider yourself lucky that Utahime rejected any proposed arrangements. If you or the higher-ups had somehow managed to force her into a marriage, Satoru would've killed you." Naoya clenched his jaw, affected by the unveiled threat, and Geto smiled. "Fortunately, Utahime spared you such a gruesome fate, so you should probably thank her."

That was too far, and Utahime knew it, especially judging by the anger that slipped through Naoya's mask, so she raised a hand and stepped in. "That's enough."

Geto peered down at her. "Is it?"

No, it wasn't, not by a long shot – if she was being honest, she wanted far worse things than humiliation done to him – but Utahime was concerned Naoya might take out his anger on other people. There were still Megumi and Maki to consider. He knew she cared about them deeply, regardless of what side she was on, so if he couldn't hurt her directly, he could still hurt them. Considering the way he was watching her now, waiting for a response, he knew what she was thinking. He might have been a bastard, but he was a clever one.

"We're trying to be on the same side, aren't we?" Utahime responded, hiding her hands in her sleeves. "You said it yourself at dinner: we have to set any past grievances aside and move on if we want to accomplish anything."

The expression on Geto's face softened as he gazed down at her. "Of course. You have such a compassionate heart." His eyes flickered back to Naoya. "But Satoru isn't as forgiving, so I would be careful if I were you."

A humorless smile tugged at Naoya's lips. "Thanks for the warning."

"Let's call it a friendly head's up," Geto said. "Personally, I would rather work with you as the head of the clan instead of Megumi. He's still a child, after all, and a stubborn one as well. We can be civil, can't we?"

"We can," Naoya agreed.

"Good, good." Geto nodded to him. "I hope you rest well tonight. There will be plenty to discuss and see tomorrow."

Naoya nodded in return and, with one final glance at Utahime, he turned on his heels and walked away. Negi could be seen down the hallway, waiting for him.

The moment they vanished from sight, Utahime's shoulders slumped. "What was that–?"

He cut her off by kissing her once again, but it wasn't the gentle kiss from before. Instead, Geto pushed against her roughly until she was pressed back against the wall, kissing her far more intensely. A squeak of surprise escaped Utahime, her eyes widening for a moment and her heart skipping a beat. He bit down on her lip, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to snap her out of it, a little hint to get her to respond. And so she did, laying a hand on his chest and closing her eyes as she kissed him back. She tilted her head back slightly, allowing him to span his hand over the side of her cheek, jaw, and neck.

"Geto," Utahime murmured against his lips. He groaned, the sound deep within his chest reverberating against her palm. There was something powerful in the way Geto responded to her. It threatened to sweep her under and convince her to let him do anything he wanted. Before she might've been afraid, scared that Gojo would come upon them and lash out with rage and jealousy, but already worked up from her confrontation with Naoya, thrill burned through Utahime instead.

She opened her mouth to him, allowing his tongue to dart inside to deepen the kiss, her pulse spiking with excitement. A moan slipped from her, a familiar pleasure pooling between her legs. It was the first time she'd felt something so strong towards Geto, the feeling illicit and dark, but instead of shuddering away from it, she leaned into it, letting him run a hand down her side and over her ass to press her against him.

When he finally pulled away, Utahime's eyes fluttered open. "What…?" She could barely breathe, much less get a handle on what the hell was going on. Geto had never been this forward with her before, especially not out in the open. That was more of Gojo's thing. It made her head spin as she struggled to contend with everything. "What was that for?"

"You," Geto told her. She furrowed her brow in confusion. "I overheard most of the conversation. I could've stepped in, but I felt like you needed this for yourself. There's a lot you haven't told us, isn't there?" She bit her lip, but she didn't need to say anything for him to know he was right. "But look at you now. You surprised him – and you surprised me as well. I'm proud of you." He smiled down at her. "And I can't deny that I'm pleased too. So you're ours now, hm?"

Her cheeks burned. "I didn't– That's not–"

Geto laughed. "It's okay. I won't make you say it."

Utahime scowled. "You're behaving worse than Gojo."

"It's hard not to be with you," Geto mused. "But I promised to be better than him, didn't I?"

Taking a step back away from him, Utahime folded her arms across her chest. "You're having fun with this, aren't you?"

"Very much so," Geto said. "Nonetheless, Satoru was concerned when you weren't in your room. With so many unfamiliar people here, especially clan members, an act of retribution or retaliation against you isn't an impossibility." She pressed her lips together, deciding not to argue with him over how she could take care of herself. "I'll take you to him and give him the night if you want. After all, he'll be put out that he didn't get to witness you handling yourself so well – and hear your admission. That's for me, and I'm very grateful for it."

As much as she could try to proclaim that she'd only said those things to Naoya in order to rile him up and piss him off… She couldn't. She hadn't been lying. And she couldn't deny that it had felt damn good to stand up for herself and rub Naoya's face in the dirt. She wasn't the weak, obedient woman that he could walk all over, not anymore. She was something more, something stronger, and she would make him regret it if he tried to do anything to her ever again.

Still, now that the heat of the moment was gone, she couldn't say that out loud again. It was too much.

"Stop it," Utahime muttered, flustered and frustrated over her embarrassment. "Just take me back to the room. All this is exhausting."

Geto smiled knowingly. "I hope you're not too tired."

Glancing at him sideways, Utahime shook her head and brushed past him back inside, willing herself not to react. As quick as it had come, that feeling of power faded away, reminding her just who she was with. Something had shifted in the air, and she couldn't help but feel as if she'd opened a door that couldn't be shut – or if she even wanted it to be shut.

Chapter 28

Notes:

A huge thank you to Orabark for giving me the means, inspiration, and motivation to write this chapter - because boy is it a fucking DOOZY. It's 10k of everything we want from this fic - Mamahime, the boys being her boys, and some OT3 shit. And this chapter is rated E for everyone because someone has finally been allowed to play. ;D

Chapter Text

The next few days passed in a strange blur.

For the most part, life for Utahime didn't change. Since she wasn't technically an integral part of the group, she was able to remain on the outskirts. She worked with her students – Hifumi, Jiro, and a handful of others that had been selected for the individual focus program – and a few of the other teachers outside of Hiroshi. They were more or less cordial with her, polite and professional as one might hope. She wondered if it had more to do with Gojo and Geto than respect for her or her teaching abilities, but she couldn't complain.

Surprisingly, the women were nicer than the men. Perhaps a little foolishly, she had been worried some of them might scorn her over her relationship with Gojo (...and Geto), but none of them said a word. It was a relief if she was being honest. She'd missed working with other teachers, thinking back to Nanami and Kusukabe and Yuki, and it was nice being around other adults aside from those two idiots.

Plus, it kept her from being alone while Yuta was preoccupied with the clan visit. After Naoya's little stunt the first night, she hadn't been left alone. Gojo always made sure someone was with her, even if it was just another teacher. Yuta had been distraught to find out Naoya had cornered her after she left dinner, convinced he'd somehow managed to fail her, and it had taken both Gojo and Geto to keep him from confronting him. In the end, it had taken Mai of all people to talk him down, but that hadn't stopped him from glaring pure murder at Naoya whenever they crossed paths.

It shouldn't have been amusing, but Utahime did struggle not to smile at the sight of Naoya's obvious discomfort.

While Utahime worked with the students and other teachers, she fought to catch glimpses of Megumi here and there. Naoya kept him on a short leash, refusing to let him have any alone time with her again, but she hoped Gojo might be able to allow her a bit more time before this whole thing came to an end. Their brief meeting on the first day hadn't been nearly enough. She had more questions and concerns, and she didn't want to leave things open-ended.

Nonetheless, she didn't see Gojo much either, both leaders very much preoccupied, and so she was left to her own devices, feeling a bit adrift even though she now had a clear goal in mind. It was a little frustrating, but there was nothing she could do but wait, even spending the first two nights by herself. She missed Gojo more than she wanted to admit, restlessly tossing and turning in the large, empty bed.

As the third and final day came to an end, she couldn't help but fear the worst. She'd missed her chance to speak more in-depth with Megumi, squandering it to throw mud in Naoya's face, and now she wouldn't be able to properly say goodbye to him. She was miserable throughout the day, noticeably distracted to the point where Horishi asked if she felt okay, and couldn't find it in herself to put up a mask for long.

It was only at the end, when she contemplated excusing herself from the lessons, that Yuta made an appearance, knocking on the door before peeking inside. Though she tried not to be hopeful, Utahime perked up when he announced, "The clan representatives are leaving. Gojo thought you would want to say goodbye to Megumi."

"Yes, I–" Utahime jumped to her feet before hesitating and glancing at Hiroshi. He nodded, and she smiled back at him gratefully. After saying goodbye to the children, she left the classroom with Yuta, more than a little anxious. There likely wasn't enough time for them to talk, but she could at least get one more word in. Naoya might be able to deny her, but he wouldn't be able to deny Gojo, not if he wanted the Zen'in clan to work with them.

As they walked through the building, Utahime noted that there was a lighter step in Yuta's walk. His shoulders were hunched over, and he didn't have a downcast look about him. He seemed more…confident, relaxed even. The past few days had been a trial for him, seemingly more difficult than the missions Geto used to send him on. Mental games and political strategies were not his things, but somehow or another, he'd been able to handle himself. Not showing his hand had worked in his favor. Even she had noticed the way the clan members deferred to him almost as much as they did Gojo and Geto.

He was growing into his own, just like Megumi.

"You must be relieved that they're leaving," Utahime said.

Yuta flashed her an apologetic smile. "I am, but I know you'll miss Megumi. Seeing him again must have brought up a lot of memories."

It had – some good, some bad, some she hadn't even recalled until now – and it would be difficult to grapple with the fact that he was once more out of her grasp. As much as she hated to admit it, Megumi had been safer here. Who knew what life was like for him with the Zen'in clan? He had hated to tell her details before, much more so now. He wouldn't want her to feel guilt over any of his struggles or pains. Here, under Gojo's watchful eyes, nothing could touch him, no one could hurt him, and he'd been allowed to simply… To simply be Fushiguro Megumi.

She missed that boy, the one who would smile at her secretly whenever Gojo did something stupid and they could snicker about it behind his back. She hadn't seen him in a while.

They made their way outside, where they had stood to greet the clan representatives for their arrival. Goodbyes were being made, mostly formal and proper, with only the top members of the group present to see them off. Even Mei Mei was there, a cool expression on her face as she listened to one of the Gojo clan members, though Mai was noticeably absent. Utahime wondered if she had not been privy to this send-off, or if she had chosen not to be here on purpose.

Naoya was the first to notice her, though it was likely Yuta's cursed energy that had alerted him to their arrival. As he stood beside a member of the Kamo clan while the man spoke to Gojo, his eyes slid over to them. His expression didn't change, not even a millimeter. Gojo turned his head too, a smile lighting up his face. Naoya snapped his eyes away from them and waved a dismissive hand at Megumi behind him. The exchange was brief but pointed. He knew what Utahime was here for, and with Gojo right there, he couldn't possibly say no.

Megumi didn't need to be told twice, only pausing when Gojo said something to him. He huffed, rolled his eyes, and left the small group. It took everything in Utahime not to run to him, but she knew it would only serve to embarrass them both. She tried to keep a neutral expression on her face as they met each other halfway, though she couldn't stop herself from smiling once they were finally together.

"I didn't know if I'd be allowed to see you again," Megumi greeted.

"Gojo has a mysterious way of making things work in his favor," Utahime pointed out.

Megumi glanced at Yuta, who nodded to him politely. After Megumi returned the gesture, Yuta made his departure, taking his place in the group with Gojo and Naoya. Megumi watched sideways as Gojo dragged Yuta toward him, throwing an arm over his shoulder and playfully ruffling his already messy hair.

With a snort, Megumi muttered, "Some things never change."

"Some," Utahime admitted. She wondered if he felt any sort of jealousy or disappointment over Gojo's behavior with Yuta, which was so reminiscent of how he'd been with Megumi during his youth. If he did, he didn't say anything, although he did look away, as if not wanting to be a part of their moment. "So…what did you think?"

"I…" Megumi furrowed his brow. "I don't know what to think."

"It's a lot to take in," Utahime agreed.

"It's overwhelming," Megumi said, "and it's too easy to forget how this all started." He frowned and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Instead of the formalwear he'd been forced to don throughout his stay here, he was back in his school uniform, which she thought might've been a deliberate act of defiance on his part, both against Gojo and Naoya. "In the days leading up to this, I told myself I hated him – that he betrayed us and was a murderer, a monster, and he hurt us – but then, when I finally saw him, when I heard and saw what they're trying to do, it was like… It was Gojo. It was like he'd never changed, just moved, and he was still the obnoxious as hell but good guy I remembered."

Biting her lip, Utahime nodded in understanding. Not many knew Gojo as they did – and even fewer had experienced just how dangerous he was firsthand and lived to tell the tale. Both she and Megumi had witnessed Gojo at his most destructive. She was the sole survivor of the day he'd turned and obliterated a group of sorcerers and three city blocks, while Megumi was one of the few people to survive a direct confrontation with him.

He could've easily killed them, but he hadn't, a fact they had to live and contend with. Utahime had spent countless hours wondering why and questioning his motives. Why had he spared her at the last second? Why had he allowed her to live when he'd destroyed so many others' lives? Why had he let her go without a word? She'd dredged those questions up again after Shoko healed Megumi of his wounds, biting her tongue when he asked the same ones. It was easier to understand his decision with Megumi, but she couldn't figure out a reason for herself. It certainly wasn't out of the kindness of his heart.

He could say it was now – that he cared about them, maybe even loved them – but Utahime knew now that wasn't the full truth. It wasn't even about his own selfishness. Maybe he hadn't known the full extent back then, but he'd had designs for them, plans that would require them to be alive for his own goals. As important as they were to him, they were still pieces on a strategy board for him. They all had their roles to play.

The sound of a door shutting interrupted them, alerting them that their time had come to an end. Megumi watched as a Kamo clan representative got into the back of a vehicle and then turned back to her. "There's so much I wanted to talk with you about, but that bastard wouldn't let me out of his sight after that first day."

"I know." Utahime winced. "That was my fault."

"No, it's on him for being an asshole." Megumi huffed. "Noritoshi wanted to come as well, but his clan wouldn't let him. They thought it would be too risky to bring all the potential clan successors on top of the leaders. It was either I came or he did, and… He told me I needed to be the one to come here."

"I was wondering about his absence," Utahime sighed. "How is he? How is the Kamo clan treating him?"

"No better or worse than the Zen'in clan is treating me," Megumi answered, "which I think says a lot considering he's the actual heir to the Kamo clan."

It was what Utahime expected, but that still didn't give her any relief. Similar to Megumi, Noritoshi had been dragged back into his clan when it became apparent that he was the only one of his father's children, legitimate and bastard, to have inherited the Kamo clan Blood Manipulation Cursed Technique. The threat of being ousted had hung over his head for years if he did not live up to his clan's standards, but after Gojo's turning, things had only grown more difficult. They couldn't afford to lose the technique, and so the pressure on him had tripled. By the time he started school the following year, it had been difficult to find the boy underneath the training that had been beaten into his head.

"And what about Toge?" Utahime asked hesitantly.

Megumi shook his head, and her heart sank. The son of the Inumaki clan and holder of their signature Cursed Speech Technique had been a sullen and silent boy when he arrived on their grounds. The majority of his clan had been wiped out, the threat of their technique too great, but he had managed to survive, inadvertently becoming a leader at such a young age. He was particularly brutal when he used his technique, his voice raw and angry. It was why he and Nobara got along so well. Utahime had spent a lot of time working with him, being his voice when he couldn't speak or articulate his feelings.

It hurt, thinking about the overwhelming silence that must've fallen over him again since her disappearance.

"He'll be relieved to hear you're okay," Megumi continued. "The girls as well. You know how temperamental Kugisake is."

Utahime let out a sigh. "I know." She hadn't been much better at Nobara's age, more apt to snap and fight instead of thinking rationally and reacting with care. It was a lesson she'd been trying to instill in Nobara, which was difficult when she'd been basically on her own like some sort of wild child for years prior to them finding her. "She's grown a lot too. I know she yells and threatens a lot, but she needs to vent those emotions out. She didn't have anyone to listen to her before."

"Oh, she yells" – Megumi grimaced – "all the time."

"And what about Yuu–?"

"Megumi!" Naoya called. "We're leaving – now! Finish your goodbyes."

"Shit." A scowl flashed across Megumi's face before he could stop it. "I'm sorry. I wish–"

"It's okay." Utahime placed her hands on his shoulders, bringing his attention back to her. "I'm just glad I got to see you one more time." It wouldn't be the last, she was sure of it, and so after a moment of consideration, he nodded. She forced herself to smile, fighting against the burning sensation in her eyes, and cupped his face with one hand. "You've grown so much. I couldn't be more proud of you."

Megumi's cheeks warmed. "I haven't done anything. Honestly, I feel like I failed you."

"No," Utahime stated firmly, "you've definitely not done that."

"But I haven't done anything," Megumi insisted. "I didn't even try to save you. I told myself that I would be resolute and never fall in line with their ideals, but then, I saw you." She hesitated, the smile falling from her face. "It's not… I'm not saying that you've changed or anything, but you're just… You're better. You're finally able to be the sorcerer and teacher I knew you were instead of some subservient puppet everyone made you out to be. You're better off here – with them."

Utahime pressed her lips into a thin line. After glancing at Gojo and Naoya, both of whom were watching them, she wrapped her arms around Megumi, pulling him into a fierce hug. He hugged her in return, pressing his face into the crook of her neck as he'd done as a child. Her heart ached, but she closed her eyes, stopping any tears from escaping.

"Don't think about me," Utahime told him, her voice barely more than a murmur. "You need to follow your own heart, wherever it takes you, even if it means taking you further from them – and me." She pulled back to look him in the face, not failing to miss the way he had to blink his eyes rapidly. Poor boy – he held so much of his emotions in, but she knew just how strong they were deep inside him. "This won't be easy, least of all for you. I want to be there for you, but… I don't know if I can. I don't even know if what I'm doing here is okay or right, but I have to do something ."

"You never gave up on any of us, no matter how difficult we made it for you," Megumi said.

"You all have made every struggle worth it," Utahime told him. "And even if it doesn't look like it now, I swear that I'm still fighting for you."

"I know." Megumi nodded. "I know."

" Megumi !"

With another wince, Megumi's shoulders dropped. He forced his expression to return to blank, though he couldn't hide the slight downward turn on his brow, a seemingly permanent faint scowl etched onto his face. When he stepped back, her hands fell away from him. She held them in front of her to stop herself from reaching out to him one last time, nodding to him and then standing still as she watched him walk away. He paused briefly upon passing Gojo, a few words spoken between them that she couldn't hear, and then he returned to Naoya, getting into the car as directed.

Gojo leaned to the side to murmur something to Yuta, who then gave a polite wave and smile to the retreating clan members. It was a general gesture, but Utahime thought it seemed to be pointed at Naoya, who was forced to bow properly before sliding into the backseat of the car as well. Gojo chuckled while Yuta shook his head, though he didn't frown. It was almost like he was enjoying himself.

Utahime remained in place as the cars packed up and left, quiet and alone. The whole thing felt surreal and, once the cars were gone from sight, it was like nothing had ever happened. Had she truly seen Megumi? Had the clan members actually been here? Were things going to change? And how? She'd been mostly kept out of the loop, stuck in her own little bubble.

"Hey."

At Gojo's voice, Utahime was ripped out of her thoughts, startling and turning to look at him. He was by himself, Yuta with Geto as he talked with the other commanders. A few eyed her and Gojo before turning their attention back to their other leader, allowing the two of them a brief moment of privacy.

"You okay?" Gojo asked, oddly gentle.

Utahime glowered. "What do you think?" When Gojo tilted his head, waiting for her to continue, she huffed and glanced away, her heated expression softening despite herself. "I suppose I should thank you."

"For what?"

He knew exactly what she meant, so Utahime gave him a look. "For allowing me to say goodbye to Megumi."

Gojo rested a hand over his chest. "I didn't allow anything. You had every right to see him off. You're the one who helped me take care of him and his sister – and you're the one who continued to take care of him when I…left." He sighed, his hand falling from his chest so he could pocket them. "He's strong, just as I'd hoped, but he's that way because of you. He thinks I abandoned him – and he wouldn't be entirely wrong – but I want to fix that. I want to help him grow, just as you've helped Yuta become a far stronger version of himself."

"I don't know if you can do that, Gojo," Utahime admitted.

"We'll see." Gojo turned his head to gaze down the road. She wondered if he could see the residual cursed energy, if his Six Eyes could still clock Megumi even though he was out of sight. "The ball is in their court now. The clans have to decide what side they're on – and Megumi will have to choose what he wants to do."

"You're not leaving him much of a choice," Utahime pointed out.

"It's still his choice," Gojo said. "You know, historically speaking, a Zen'in clan member with the Ten Shadows Technique and a Gojo clan member with Six Eyes once dueled each other to the death."

Utahime frowned. "We shouldn't encourage history to repeat itself. We're supposed to learn from it and grow."

"That's what I'm hoping for too." Gojo hooked an arm around her, pulling her in close against his side, and kissed her on the temple. "Now, c'mon, let's get out of here. I need a break after all these mind games and clan bullshit. It's more draining than dealing with non-sorcerer politicians."

She wasn't sure where they were going, but Utahime didn't put up a fight as he guided her back inside. The truth was, she was exhausted as well. Even though she'd mostly been on her own, she couldn't help but feel like she was under a scope whenever she crossed paths with any clan representatives. She'd known all of them from her previous life, though she wasn't familiar with any of them save for Megumi and Naoya. Gojo's clan was distant and private, but they seemed to outright ignore her, almost like they blamed her for being unable to dissuade Gojo from destruction on that fateful day. She'd dealt with the Kamo and Zen'in clans for her students' sake, but now she wasn't their teacher anymore.

Utahime was someone else, and they didn't know what to think of her or her seemingly close relationship with Gojo and Geto.

Speaking of Geto… He didn't follow them inside, still speaking with the other commanders and Yuta. Considering he wasn't a commander and proclaimed to have no interest in becoming one, she found it a little odd that Yuta stayed with them, especially when he was obviously closer to Gojo, but she said nothing.

That wasn't part of her role here. Naoya was wrong. She knew her place, even if it was on uneven ground.

After the hustle and bustle of the past few days and the upheaval from the clan representatives' presence, it was a relief to have such a peaceful dinner. Utahime hadn't thought she could eat much since her mind was in such turmoil over Megumi, but when she glanced down at her bowl, it was practically scraped clean. She must've been hungrier than she realized, unable to do little more than pick at her food with so much going on.

Despite the fact that she ate dinner with Gojo, it was a quiet affair as well. She always expected him to ramble in between large mouthfuls of food, but he'd been unusually quiet, even thoughtful. Perhaps seeing people from his old life had put things into a different perspective. He'd come off as somewhat indifferent to seeing members from his clan while warm and friendly with Megumi despite the latter's best efforts to remain stoic, but Gojo couldn't have been completely unaffected. It had to be strange for him as it had for her, especially when the clans had been considered their largest enemy.

They would fall in line now, of that Utahime had no doubt. There was no point in trying to tell herself otherwise. Gojo and Geto were about to gain three very powerful allies – ones they would have to keep close eyes on, of course, but they were key pieces of this war nonetheless. This move would change everything, and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen or who would fall next. As much as both men had proclaimed this to be a step toward peace, Utahime couldn't shake the very bad feeling growing in her gut.

The clans couldn't just join and enjoy the spoils of war. They had to show they were all in and committed to this cause – stain their hands so they were equally to blame – to place themselves directly against their former allies and make their stand. No one would tell her that, wanting her to think things were positive and hopeful, but the collateral damage caused by this fight had exceeded everyone's expectations. She would be foolish to think it was over just because of a three-day show-and-tell.

"Stop thinking so much, Uta," Gojo whined, rubbing at his temples. "You're giving me a headache."

Utahime shot him a sideways glower. "My apologies, you big baby."

"I didn't think you'd be so grouchy after seeing Megumi again," Gojo huffed. "I'd hoped it would make you happy."

"It did, but–" Utahime bit her lip. "Seeing him brought up a lot of memories and thoughts too."

Gojo turned his head, and she could tell he was peering at her from underneath his blindfold. "What kind of memories?"

"Just…a lot," Utahime mumbled.

Some good, some bad, some small bits and pieces she hadn't even considered until now. The thing about Gojo was that his entire existence was a conundrum. He was an anomaly, through and through. As much as he irritated both Utahime and Megumi, they had also loved him in their own ways – trusted him even when he pissed them off and annoyed them to high hell. She could want to wring his neck one second and then listen to his every word the next. There had been weeks when she never wanted to see him again – and hours when she couldn't stand the thought of leaving his side.

She'd known he was falling down a path she couldn't follow – Megumi had seen the cracks too, glancing away from the fissures in the man who seemed more like a god some days – but there was nothing either of them could do. Gojo slipped out of their grasp little by little until it was too late, and they were both left to wonder why they hadn't been good enough to stay for but just enough to be spared.

A pair of hands swam into her vision, and Utahime was startled out of her thoughts to find one of the non-sorcerer servants picking up her empty bowl. The young woman quickly apologized, stating she should've waited until they were out of the room, but Utahime lifted her hand and shook ahead. She meant to thank her or even reassure her, but she couldn't get the words out. The woman's fear of her struck her like a slap in the face, and she stood up abruptly, needing to be out of the room.

"Hey, hey." Gojo was at her side as soon as she was in the hallway, a hand cupping her elbow. "It's okay."

"That is not okay," Utahime snapped.

Gojo halted, his hold on her arm forcing her to do the same. "It's not you that they're afraid of. The servants like you. It's a topic the commanders like to gossip about as if it'll make us dislike you or whatever."

"Does it?" Utahime asked.

With a snort, Gojo said, "You think I care about shit like that?"

"What about Geto?" Utahime pressed. "He hates them."

Tilting his head, Gojo countered, "Does it matter what he thinks?"

After eyeing him for a moment, Utahime threw up her hands and huffed. "I don't want to play this game, Gojo. It's tiresome and obnoxious, and it feels like there's no way for me to win."

"You're right, my bad." Gojo took one of her hands and kissed the back of it, an almost apologetic pout on his lips.

She glowered at him, but there wasn't enough heat in her eyes for it to mean much. Honestly, as much as she wanted to be angry with him and Geto as well, she was still out of sorts over seeing Megumi and her confrontation with Naoya. So much had changed over the past few months during her time here – mostly within herself, far more than she'd realized. She hadn't even known how much they'd held her back or perhaps she'd held herself back until now. Had the potential for growth and strength been there all along? Why stifle it then?

They went to his room – because of course they did – but Utahime wasn't nearly as irritated by his presumptuous nature as she should've been. They hadn't spent much time together in the past week, their little dispute over the kimono and obi their last private moment. He hadn't even come to her bedroom at night or asked for her to come to his.

Unsettled as she was, she shamefully craved some sort of balance or at least something she could understand. Gojo, she could tell, was in a mood as well. He wouldn't stop getting in her space, like he was trying to make up for all the times he'd refrained from touching her during this gathering. She had to slap his hand away when he tried to grab her too intimately while in public, scoffing at the way he grinned at her.

By the time they were in his bedroom, she was properly worked up, though it wasn't all positive emotions. She unlaced her boots in sharp, jerky movements, kicking them off to the side of the room instead of carefully setting them aside. A strange energy had built up inside of her, brought on by the tumultuous ups and downs over the past three days, leaving her in a mood. She didn't know whether she wanted to pick a fight with Gojo or work out her aggression in a more…intimate manner. Both options irritated her. Plus, she wasn't just frustrated with him. Geto was also to blame for her conflicted temperament.

She thought of the way he'd kissed her after witnessing her dress down Naoya – his hand on her face, the demanding press of his lips, the way he stole her breath and thoughts without any hesitation. It had been more self-assured than possessive. He didn't need to show Naoya that he owned her. She was simply his. The thought made her burn from the inside out, her blood boiling and her cheeks flushing.

Gojo must've noticed just how antsy she was, likely taking in her fluctuating cursed energy, and after plopping down on the bed and kicking off his own shoes, he gestured for her and murmured, "C'mere."

For a moment, Utahime thought to refuse him – fold her arms across her chest, turn away from him, and tell him a flat no – but then she found herself moving forward until she stood between his legs. She hated the way her blood seemed to cool when he touched her, large palms coasting over her body and gently undoing the ties of her hakama. He was patient in a way she didn't associate with him, focused but relaxed. Even his cursed energy was calm, gentle waves of an ocean lapping against her.

"This whole thing has been frustrating," Gojo said, still somehow even despite the sharp tone of his voice. "We were showing off and pandering to the same people who made Jujutsu society so toxic in the first place."

Utahime touched his hair, soft and careful like he might snap at her if she treated him too roughly. He didn't. "I know."

"We don't need them – and yet we do." Gojo finished untying her hakama, and she allowed it to fall down and pool around her feet. He paused for a moment, a slight frown on his face. "I'd do this without them if I could, but Suguru insisted they're important. Neither of us wants any more needless deaths, and that's all we were doing – thinning out our own ranks, attacking one another and ourselves. We have to do better. The clans are so damn stuck in their ways, but I have to believe they can change."

It was a struggle not to lash out or snap, her temper ingrained in her nature, but she managed to keep her voice even as she said, "Well, if anyone can force change like that, it's you."

A wry smile tugged at Gojo's lips. "I couldn't do this without Suguru."

"You would've found a way," Utahime told him. Though what way, she wasn't sure. Perhaps one less violent and tragic. The thought made her a little sad. Gojo wouldn't be himself with Geto, for better or worse.

"And I don't want to do this without you," Gojo added, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his face into her middle. Her heart skipped a traitorous beat, and she threaded her fingers further into his hair, holding him snug against her.

It was wrong – this whole thing was wrong. Why the hell was she comforting him? His hold on her reigned her in, relief flooding her body in spite of the conflicted thoughts running through her mind. She wanted to pull him in closer, lock their bodies together, and let him cling to her in that dangerous way that made her feel powerful. Even though he was stronger and could take whatever he wanted from her, there was something overwhelming about his need for her. He wasn't being manipulative, she knew. This was simply him being open and vulnerable for once, more than just Infinity dropped for her.

Gojo rubbed his face back and forth. "I missed you."

"I'm here," Utahime told him in a whisper, almost like she was afraid of anyone overhearing her shameful truth.

Lifting his head from her middle, Gojo used his hold around her waist to pull her down into his lap. As her legs slid over his thighs to straddle him, she hooked her fingers under the sides of his blindfold and slowly pulled it over his head. He was gazing at her directly already, refusing to look away as she discarded the dark material. His eyes were bright as ever, a blue endless sky, with dark pupils that reminded her more of a deadly storm on the horizon.

"You can't leave me."

Utahime pressed her lips together, unable to give him a proper response. She didn't want to leave him. Honestly, she doubted she could, whether of her own accord or his. That wasn't what he would want to hear though. Like with the clans, he wanted her own declaration of loyalty, but the meaning was far more personal for her.

His hands slid to her sides and tightened, fingers pressing into her muscles as she held herself precariously over him. "You're still tense."

"Of course I am," Utahime huffed. "This whole thing has been nothing but tense."

"Even after you got to finally blow off some steam with Naoya?" Gojo asked.

She blinked, her cheeks warming. Though she had known Geto would tell Gojo about the dispute, it still embarrassed her to think about Geto telling him everything. Was that why he had been so distant these past days? Had it not been because he was busy but because he was angry?

"I'm disappointed."

Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. "Gojo, I–"

"Disappointed I didn't get to witness it for myself," Gojo continued before she could spiral into a strange apology. "Suguru told me everything."

Utahime swallowed. "Oh."

"Are you scared?" Gojo asked.

"Yes," Utahime admitted, ducking her eyes from his knowing gaze. "And confused."

"Don't be." Gojo let go of her with one hand so he could place his finger under her chin and lift her head, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I mean it – don't be scared."

"It's hard not to be!" Utahime burst before containing herself again. She sank in his lap, wishing she could hide and knowing he wouldn't let her, not yet at least. "It's…weird. This might be easy for you because you and Geto have each other – you're a team, a pair, partners in everything – and anyone else was just… I don't know. A passing amusement? A toy you could both play with and share? I don't want to be that."

"And you're not," Gojo insisted, stroking her jaw with his thumb. "I've made some cruel comments about it – and I can't deny that we've behaved like that before – but it's different with you. It always has been, even when we were younger, before all this shit happened and reality caught up with us. I didn't like sharing you with anyone even back then." He took a deep breath, his thumb stilling. "But this isn't about sharing you with Suguru."

Utahime frowned. "What is it about then? Because I feel like I'm walking a tightrope between you two."

Gojo leaned forward, kissing her in a soft way that made a tingle run up her spine. "It's about giving you everything you deserve." His lips never quite left hers as he spoke, his breath warm on her face. He kissed her again, this time a little stronger. "It's about letting you be your best, your strongest, your brightest, when everyone, Jujutsu society and myself included, has done nothing but hold you back."

"Can you truly give me that?" Utahime asked.

"I can try," Gojo told her, his words and expression so genuine that it pained her. He truly did want the best for people. How had it all gotten so twisted? His hand slid up to cup her jaw and the side of her face, their kissing growing more intense. She rested her arms over his shoulders, her fingers interlocking behind his nape. " We can try."

A distant part of her struggled to resist his words, but a larger part of her seemed to bloom under the declaration. Again, there was that overwhelming, slightly addictive sensation that she only felt when she was intimate with them. And it was with both of them. She'd felt it that night when Geto kissed her, a sharp bolt of pleasure and arousal pooling inside her as he kissed her like it was a compulsion he needed to fulfill.

It was most definitely foolish to think she had any sort of power over them, but for all the times she'd felt shamefully drawn to them, it was almost like she was the flame and they were the moths. Neither of them should want her – weak, pointless, disappointing Iori Utahime – but they saw something in her that no one did and wanted more. It made her want to be more, something she hadn't felt since she was a young girl before society stole those dreams away from her.

They kept at it like that for a bit, kissing and feeling each other out at the same steady pace. Every time he moved to go further, she either nipped at his lip or bared down on him in a way that warned him not to stop. After a while of almost languid kissing and roaming hands, she could tell he was well and truly worked up, his cock tented in his pants and pressing up against the seam of her cunt over her underwear.

She allowed him to slide her kosode over her shoulders and down her arms, leaving her in just her slip and undergarments. Even though she was mostly covered, it didn't feel equal, and so she tugged on the hem of his jacket. His lips curled upward into a grin against her lips, and then he leaned back just enough so she could unzip his jacket and shove it over his shoulders. She couldn't work it off him, growling in frustration, and he chuckled, taking pity on her and shrugging it off himself. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side for good measure, and she sighed in a mixture of relief and pleasure to feel his bare skin under her palm.

The large scar over his chest always managed to catch her off guard a little. While she was unable to hide the scar on her face, he was easily able to keep this scar a secret, one very few people knew about. She sometimes wondered why it hadn't healed when the scar on his forehead had, or if he'd kept it for some strange reason. Maybe it was a reminder to himself that he wasn't completely a god – that despite his incredible abilities, he was still as fallible as any human.

It didn't feel like it some days. It hadn't when he broke the world – her world.

"You're thinking again," Gojo mumbled as he licked up her neck.

Utahime shuddered at the pleasant sensation. "Am not."

Gojo nipped at the skin, just shy of making her wince. "Normally, I might take offense over your thoughts wandering when I'm kissing and touching you, but I get it. You need something stronger."

Rearing back, Utahime twisted her lips. "Maybe if you stopped talking, I wouldn't keep getting distracted."

With a laugh, Gojo nuzzled noses with her and said, "So mean yet so cute."

She was about to argue with him further, her need to argue about the past and future outweighing her desire to get lost in the present, when the door opened behind her and a cool voice spoke, "Am I interrupting something?"

As silly as it was, Utahime jumped out of Gojo's lap, blush burning across her face. "Geto!"

Wearing a sheepish grin, Geto didn't even bother to look away or even sound like he meant it when he said, "My apologies. I didn't mean to startle you."

For his part, Gojo didn't seem perturbed, leaning back with his hands propped behind him on the bed. "Get caught up with the commanders?"

"Yes, they're so needy sometimes," Geto sighed, rolling his neck to pop it. "It's like they were desperate for reminders of their importance after we paid so much attention to the clans, probably afraid they'll be replaced. Every representative sent was a grade one sorcerer."

Gojo snorted. "They don't have to worry about anyone from the clans."

"Yuta's constant presence unsettled them as well," Geto pointed out.

"Good. They need to be reminded of their place every once in a while or they might start getting lax."

Utahime eyed both men out of the corners of her eyes, trapped in between them. She wasn't used to them speaking so candidly about the inner workings of their group, but in truth, they weren't going into a lot of detail. It was just enough to make her feel privy and included but not enough to actually tell her anything she couldn't already infer.

"How do you feel?" Geto asked, returning his attention to her. "I know seeing Megumi again must've been hard, on top of facing sorcerers who have looked down on you for most of your life."

Utahime gritted her teeth. "Fantastic."

"She's restless ," Gojo said, his head lolling to the side. "Can't you feel her cursed energy? She's standing perfectly still yet it's rattling all over the place."

Embarrassment flared in Utahime's gut. It had always frustrated how closely tied her cursed energy was to her emotions. She'd spent years learning to control it, especially when she realized just how much it put her at a disadvantage against other sorcerers. Those that could see cursed energy well could read her like a book – and Gojo had been the worst. No matter how hard she tried to maintain a cool and professional demeanor, he always knew when she was angry or upset. A little smile would tug at the corner of his lips, and she'd turn away in humiliation, willing herself not to react. It never worked, not when he knew all her buttons.

"You can't blame me," Utahime stated. "This is a confusing situation."

"No one is blaming you," Geto pointed out. "I'm sorry you couldn't spend more time with Megumi. I know that hurt."

Harrumphing, Utahime folded her arms across her chest. "It was my consequence for provoking Naoya. It felt great to get back at him, but I knew it would backfire on me – and it could've hurt negotiations for you all."

Geto smiled. "That wouldn't have pleased you?"

"Of course," Utahime shot back, "I'm secretly trying to sabotage you all from the inside."

"It wouldn't be a bad plan, if not an incredibly risky one," Geto pointed out.

Utahime rolled her eyes. "I couldn't have done anything even if I wanted. It's not like anyone in the clans would've taken me seriously. Had I tried to lobby against either of you, they would've told on me in hopes of winning your favor and see a bratty, argumentative, troublesome woman get executed."

Gojo actually laughed. "The higher-ups and clans love a good execution, but they prefer them to be private and a secret."

"We would never do that," Geto told her, stepping close enough to rest a hand on her arm. He rubbed it up and down, the gesture supposed to be comforting. Goosebumps prickled at her skin instead. "You know that, right?"

"You'd never execute someone?"

Geto gave her a look, one that told her she should've known better. "We wouldn't execute you."

Utahime didn't react, staying still and keeping her expression neutral. At the end of the day, they were still leaders of a powerful group that commanded fear and respect, and they had reached this peak by getting their hands more than dirty. While they might have called what they did executions, the mass destruction they'd left in their wake was telling enough. Gojo had more or less executed the former higher-ups with little more than a flick of his fingers. Geto had destroyed countless towns with his curses.

And yet here they were, so casual and calm, touching her with gentle and adoring hands. It made her hackles rise and pleasure pool in her center.

"Still very much unsettled," Geto noted. "I fear we might've made it worse."

Gojo made a noise that sounded like something between a laugh and a snort. "We should do something about that then."

Utahime opened her mouth to either question or berate them – she hadn't made up her mind yet – when Geto kissed her. She squeaked in shock, her back stiffening. It was the first time he'd dared to kiss her in front of Gojo, but although there was a slight flare in Gojo's cursed energy, it didn't burn as she feared. With his hold on her arms, he guided her back as he continued to kiss her, though he didn't move to deepen things. His hands slid up her shoulders, fingers hooking into the straps of her slip, but unlike before, he didn't stop when she shivered.

Instead, Geto slid the thin strings over her arms, and the thin slip dropped to the ground.

It wasn't the barest she'd been in front of Geto – she couldn't forget the way he'd first cornered her in that little cell of a room, catching her off guard while she was changing out of tea-stained clothes – but with Gojo in the room, everything in the room was heightened. She could feel his intense gaze on them, the heat of his bare Six Eyes burning the skin on her back, especially as Geto's hands roved over her. When he squeezed her ass, bringing her closer to him, she made another noise in his mouth. She could feel his smile, a sneaky Chesire grin, and then he was pulling back to look her in the eyes.

"Pretty girl," he murmured in a low voice like it was some sort of secret between them.

Without warning, Utahime found herself being tugged away from him, yanked around her middle backward and into Gojo's lap once more. "Gojo!" she yelped as she swayed off-balance, and he laughed, rubbing his face in the crook of her neck. Geto smiled down at them, looking almost benevolent, a god enjoying his creations' pleasure and excitement.

She might've continued to struggle in his grip if one of his hands hadn't slid over her belly and between her legs. A gasp caught in her throat when he spread them and splayed a hand over her clothed cunt. Even with her underwear on, he would've been able to tell how aroused she was, embarrassingly wet enough to damp the cotton.

"Silk next time," Geto said, his gaze dropping to that intimate place. "Dress her in silk next time."

Utahime whined as Gojo pet her over her underwear, pressing a knuckle against her clit just the way she liked. The build-up was quick, and she knew, strangely lucid, that she was going to come far too soon. It was humiliating and shocking at the same time. Gojo could work her up at a speed that caught her off guard, but the speed with which he brought her to peak now had her reeling. Was it the possessive arm he held wrapped around her waist, keeping her back pressed against his chest as he ground his cock against her ass? Or was it the way Geto watched them without blinking, his gaze dark and openly hungry with desire?

She was wrong. She hadn't been the one with the power. It had been them all along, and she was doomed to fall under.

"C'mon, Uta," Gojo murmured in her ear, nibbling at her lobe as he coaxed her further toward damnation. "Let Suguru hear you come undone. It's the most beautiful sound."

Geto reached down to drag a thumb across her lips. "You'll share it with me, won't you?"

A moan slipped from her, their combined touch lighting her body on fire, and this time, when her lips parted, Geto slid a thumb inside. Utahime sucked more out of instinct than anything else, his thumb pressing down on her tongue. She thought she heard Gojo swear under his breath under the rush of blood thumping in her ears, but Geto never said a word, his expression tight as he stared down at her.

The orgasm hit her before she could even truly comprehend that it was happening, and she keened, high-pitched and breathy. Her cursed energy seemed to pour from her like an open tap, filling the air of the room and wrapping around them like notes on the wind. Since he wasn't used to being touched by other sorcerers' cursed energy or techniques, it always seemed to affect Gojo deeply, his grip on her tightening as his body shuddered underneath her. Even Geto reacted: he stiffened and opened his mouth to suck in a quick breath, his own dark cursed energy rippling inside him. It seemed to counter Utahime's as if it didn't know what to do, the two almost polar opposites.

As she came down from the high of her orgasm, panting heavily and sunk against Gojo's chest, he pulled his hand away, though he continued to stroke her inner thighs. "Beautiful, isn't it?" He kissed her behind her ear. "I can't get enough."

"It's no wonder you don't share your technique in front of others often," Geto said, oddly formal and distant.

Gojo hummed happily, pulling strands of hair away from her face. "Addictive, right?"

"Dangerous."

Utahime's stomach flipped, and her eyes fluttered open to focus on Geto once more. She couldn't read his expression, not truly. Perhaps she'd misread his hunger for something else. That old fear crept up inside of her again, tripled by the fact that he'd watched his partner shake and get off in his lap.

"Geto–"

Don't be scared, Gojo's words echoed in her mind. But how could she not be? This was uncharted territory. She was positive that none of the other women the two of them had shared had ever experienced something like this. It had just been a bit of fun for them or maybe even a stab at each other, but this was different, each move loaded and uncertain.

"Do you want him?" Gojo asked, still stroking her inner thighs so she couldn't close them.

Utahime was already flushed from pleasure, so she couldn't burn any further with humiliation. "I…"

"You've seen what he does with his cursed technique," Gojo said teasingly. "He's pretty good with his mouth."

She squirmed on top of him, but there was no way she was getting out of his grasp. It was difficult to look at Geto directly, catching eyes with him once before quickly looking away. She couldn't speak, much less admit to wanting more. They might have been used to sharing someone together, but she wasn't. Her parents had raised her with a traditional mindset, hoping she'd find a husband and settle down once her blood cooled down enough.

Those hopes were long gone, and so were they. After Gojo's turning, she convinced them to move out of the country. It would be dangerous wherever they went, Gojo and Geto's reach growing further with each month, but it was better than being in the heart of things. She had felt better with them out of the way, even though they'd begged her to come with them and put aside her sorcerer lifestyle in order to find some semblance of a normal life. It was easy for them to do. Although she came from a sorcerer family, neither one of them had been strong enough to be more than Windows.

She couldn't do it, and she'd figured she would die wondering if she'd made the right decision. She wondered if the higher-ups or any of her friends had told her parents what happened to her or if they'd thought it would be less painful to keep them in the dark. Would they condemn her for her choices now? Or would they be secretly pleased to know that their only child had appealed to the two strongest sorcerers of their time?

"You can say no," Geto told her softly.

Utahime bit her lip. She didn't want to say no, but she couldn't bring herself to say yes either.

Instead, all she could do was nod, her eyes flickering to Geto's to meet them. She struggled to keep his gaze, even as her cursed energy rose at the feel of his growing. It was a strange sensation, more like a curse's than a sorcerer's, tainted and thick, smothering like Gojo's. It wasn't unpleasant though, and she melted in Gojo's arms as Geto grasped her thighs and spread her legs even further.

Her breath hitched in her throat as he fingered the hem of her underwear. She lifted her ass, just enough for him to slide her underwear down, although Gojo whined a little in protest over the loss of contact.

"Hush," Geto instructed. "You'll have your turn soon enough."

Gojo went quiet. That was even stranger. Nothing ever seemed to shut him up. It was a struggle for her to keep quiet as Geto dragged her slick underwear down her calves and over her feet, setting them aside instead of throwing them somewhere. His hands slid back up her legs until finally they were on her thighs, but his focus was on her cunt, hot and demanding. She moved to close her legs out of instinct, trying to hide the wet untrimmed hair, but he dug his thumbs into her skin just hard enough to leave red marks.

An old bit of knowledge from school rang in her mind: Never interrupt a predator during their meal.

Utahime's breath quickened as Geto leaned in closer – and then she whimpered when his tongue licked up her slit. It was just the first taste, and she was already trembling all over. Gojo had gone down on her before, and he was good at it, but he'd been right. Geto was talented, his tongue swirling around her cunt and sucking at her clit. She couldn't sit still or stay quiet if she tried, crying out and digging her fingers into Gojo's thighs as her hips jerked and rose. Gojo kept her from jumping away while Geto held her in place, dragging her further down onto his face.

"Grab his hair," Gojo told her, his voice ragged against the back of her neck. "He likes that."

Utahime did as she was instructed, her hand shaky, but it was more for stability than anything else. She needed something to ground her to reality and so she dug her fingers into Geto's long, beautiful, dark hair, the antithesis of Gojo's. It was silky, just like she imagined, something that should've been treated gently, but she yanked on it hard, pulling whenever his tongue hit a particularly sensative spot and she bucked into his mouth. Instead of nipping at her or yelling, he moaned deeply, the sound thrumming into her cunt.

"Does it feel as good as it looks?" Gojo asked, pushing her further to the edge.

Utahime's head fell back against his shoulder, and she closed her eyes. "Fu-Fuck– I can't–"

Geto pulled back, his tongue slipping out of her, and she almost cried out. "Look at me."

His demand was a growl, one she couldn't ignore. With bleary eyes, Utahime forced them open to gaze down at him. He smiled at her, a predatory flash in his eyes, and then dove into her again, eating her out with vigor. He seemed to make it a mission to force her into an orgasm, especially after Gojo had done it so quickly with his fingers. Lifting himself further onto his knees, he sucked at her clit and slid two fingers into her, curling inside as if to pet her wet walls.

It was too much, and she fell, the waves of her second orgasm crashing over her.

Pleasure whited out any other thoughts she might've had tonight, drowning her in a world that felt better beyond belief. She had to close her eyes, unable to see anymore, tears burning underneath her eyelids and slipping down her cheeks. Her entire body was wracked with violent, wonderful tremors. She didn't care how embarrassing it was – how wonton she looked, how wrecked she felt, how insane this whole thing was – and simply felt the pleasure of it. Their cursed energy mingled with each other's, a powerful tsunami, until it came to a fever pitch and slowly began to bleed out.

Utahime weakly pushed at Geto's head, overwhelmed and overstimulated. He could've easily kept at it – she wouldn't have been able to stop him, and she doubted Gojo would help – but he didn't, pulling back and resting on his haunches. He carefully rubbed at the edges of his mouth with his thumb, wiping her slick from his face, and then grinned up at her.

"Still restless?" he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

"Shut…up," Utahime huffed out.

Gojo chuckled. "She's as limp as a sack of rice. Pretty sure we could do anything we wanted to her right now."

When she made a face, Geto chuckled and pat her knee, as if his face hadn't been buried between her legs moments ago. "We won't do that, of course. You're tired. You deserve to rest."

"At least let me taste her too," Gojo whined, always needing some sort of attention.

Geto shook his head, but he lifted himself up to his feet, balancing himself with one hand on her knee so he could lean forward and kiss Gojo. It was the first time she'd ever seen them intimate with each other before. Though everyone had to know they were together, they never acted like this in public, this intense and powerful relationship also very private. It felt both strange and normal to witness it now, the act unforced and lazy. Gojo made happy noise as they kissed, sharing the taste of her cunt between them, and then sank back on the bed once Geto stood upright.

"Better?" Geto asked.

"It'll hold me over," Gojo sighed melodramatically.

Though he was still hard, he moved her off his lap, carefully laying her down on the bed. She curled up, shivering in the absence of their touch. Gojo rubbed a hand down her side and hip, then grabbed a blanket to draw it over her. She managed to roll on her side to face them, blinking up tiredly. He smiled, petting her unscarred cheek, and then stood up, grimacing as he adjusted his pants and then grabbed his discarded t-shirt.

Exhausted as she was, Utahime moved to push herself up. "Where–?"

"Get some rest, okay?" Gojo told her as he pulled on his t-shirt. "I promise I'll be back in an hour or two."

Utahime sank into the bed. As much as she wanted to protest, confused and even a little afraid over being alone, she didn't have the energy to fight him. Already, she could feel sleep tugging at her mind, darkness at the edges of her vision.

"We just have a little more work to do before we can rest," Geto told her. "I won't keep him long."

Biting her lip, Utahime asked in a timid voice, "What about you?"

Geto touched her ankle over the blanket, his other hand on Gojo's shoulder. "I have prior commitments to meet before I can take a break tonight, but I appreciate your concern."

He left the room first, taking his cursed energy with him, though she could sense the lingering remnants clinging to her. She tried to tamp down the well of emotion it caused her. She couldn't understand it, not after what had happened. One second, they were closer than ever before, practically combined, and then he was gone. He'd enjoyed it too, right? She was afraid he regretted it or was mad that she hadn't the strength to reciprocate.

Gojo bent down to kiss her on the cheek. "Sleep. Suguru is just a little overwhelmed. He's not used to this, you know? It's only ever been us, but now you're a part of us too, and he wants it. Everything is good – better than good, I promise. I thought I had to keep you two separate – out of my own selfishness and for both your sake – but it turns out…" He stroked her hair, fingering the material of his blindfold in his other hand. "It's better this way. It feels right ."

He kissed her one more time and then stood up, waving at her before turning off the light and slipping out of the room. Sleep overtook Utahime suddenly before she could even start to wonder about what had just occurred. It hadn't felt wrong. She'd crossed the threshold of that open door – and it had closed behind her.

Chapter 29

Notes:

My bad for taking so long to update this fic. I was meant to do it last week, but then I bought plane tickets out of town and left the next day for a mini-vacation on a whim with my kiddo. Yolo lmao Also, if you're into the SatoSuguHime ship, check out this upcoming zine focused on the OT3! We just started the creation period and are about to make some announcements and show off our contributors. ^_^

Chapter Text

When Utahime woke up the following morning, she wasn't alone. Gojo had come back an hour or so later, as he'd promised, keeping the lights off while he undressed and climbed into bed. She'd woken up briefly, letting him touch her and kissing him half-asleep. She had almost asked about Geto, but then she bit back the question, too afraid to voice what sounded like insecurities out loud. He didn't come back to the bedroom, leaving them alone once more.

She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing – if he was still working after sending Gojo off or if he'd gone back to the emptiness of his own bedroom. It made her feel strangely sad, thinking about him sleeping alone while Gojo was practically wrapped around her and held her in his arms. That wasn't fair. She had meant it when she told Geto that she didn't want to take Gojo away from him, not when they were partners in every sense of the word.

After a while though, she grew too tired to overthink and Gojo's gentle touches lulled her back to sleep.

Now that she was awake though, Utahime couldn't stop thinking about it. Guilt gnawed at her, something she would've never expected to feel towards Geto or Gojo. She'd experienced a myriad of emotions about them over the ten plus years she'd known them, but she'd never felt bad . It was as if she'd been the one to hurt them somehow, unintentionally getting in the middle of them. She could never truly do that, of course, but contrary to what Gojo had said about this feeling right, she wondered if she was in the wrong.

It was weird. It was selfish. It was stupid.

And, considering how much blood was on their hands, it was deeply shameful.

"It's too early in the morning to be thinking that loud," Gojo complained, his voice muffled by a pillow.

Utahime startled, unaware that Gojo had been awake as well, but she could only huff when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back snugly against his bare chest. She was still naked from the night before. So tired after her experience with Gojo and Geto, she'd fallen asleep dressed only in her bra. When Gojo had gotten into bed, he'd forced her to sit up long enough to take that off as well. She was typically too shy and awkward to sleep completely naked, but Gojo ran hot so his body kept her warm enough not to care.

Granted, that meant he had easier access now. She could feel the hard length of his morning erection pressing insistently against her ass as if to remind her that he hadn't exactly been taken care of the previous night. Geto had entered the room before they could have sex, and while he never once complained about her getting off instead of him, it did seem like a point was being made now. Geto had gotten to taste her, but Gojo had only been able to touch her. His grip on her and the roll of his hips against her ass was a bit possessive, but she didn't sense any spite or anger like before.

He kissed the back of her neck, the gentle press of his lips melting her in his arms despite her urge to be stubborn. She was embarrassed to admit to herself that it excited her when he was rough, but there was something about him being soft that always got to her, especially because she knew how strong he was. Even though he joked about her being weak at times, he never treated her like she was fragile. Nonetheless, when he used a delicate touch with her, his feelings felt more clear, more vulnerable, and it got her to open up every time.

The combination of his light kisses and the back-and-forth rock of their hips was enough to arouse her. She took one of his hands that was fondling her chest and brought it down between her legs. He groaned against the back of her head when he felt how wet she was already. Pants were dragged from her as he dragged his finger between her slick folds and then rubbed circles around her clit. She could've gotten off like that, grinding against the heel of his hand, but she wanted more.

"Get in me," Utahime demanded .

Gojo breathed out a ragged, "Shit," and wasted no time doing as he was told. He pulled his hand out from between her legs just long enough to grab a hold of his cock. She lifted one of her legs to assist him, and then, after briefly rubbing the head of his cock over her, it caught on the rim of her cunt and he pushed himself inside. She was so wet that there was barely any resistance, a quick glide until his hips were flush against her ass and he was sheathed to the hilt.

She couldn't remember him ever being this obedient with her before. A strange sensation of power fell over her as he held himself still inside of her, waiting for her next order. Was this how Geto felt the night before when he told Gojo to be quiet and he actually listened – when he forced Gojo to sit back and watch as he touched her in front of him in his bedroom? His patience only made her want him more, and so she moved first, rolling her hips so that he slid out of her partially and then back against him to take him fully in her again.

"You were so good last night," Utahime told him, breathless and flushed with arousal. "You deserve a reward for once."

"Fuck, Hime, I want–" Gojo pressed his face into her hair, cutting himself off as he continued to rock slowly in and out of her. He wrapped his arm over her hip to rub her clit again, and a bolt of pleasure shot through her body, her walls squeezing his cock instinctively. She could feel his moan from deep within his chest. From the tightness in his own body, she could tell that he was holding himself back, which pleased her even more. She forced him to keep that same steady pace, a slow and torturous back and forth that built up her orgasm at record speed.

Her cunt spasmed around him, just shy of an orgasm, and he slammed into her harder. She gasped out, " Gently ," a soft scold that left him groaning in near-desperation. He eased out of her more carefully, then slid back in, panting with the effort of not fucking her hard and fast like his mind and body craved.

So aroused by his willingness to obey, by the time Utahime finally came, she was sweating, a high-pitch keen slipping from between her lips as she shook against him. It was almost too much for him to bear, Gojo swearing under his breath as pleasure bloomed throughout her entire body. All logical thought was burned from her mind, the orgasm so strong that she hadn't even come down entirely when Gojo rung another one out of her with his fingers on her clit.

She grasped his forearm, digging her nails into his skin hard enough to leave red-crescent marks. "Satoru–"

"Please," Gojo all but begged, making her shudder with desire.

"Fuck me," Utahime told him in between ragged gasps for air. "Take what you want."

Gojo's hand slipped out from between her legs so he could grab her hips and drag her back onto his cock with a snap. She choked on a yelp, but that was the only warning he gave her before slamming into her over and over again. He didn't talk anymore after that, only the sound of his heavy pants and grunts in her ear. Sliding a hand under her thigh, he held her leg up even higher at an almost painful angle, shifting down slightly so his cock could pierce her even deeper than before. She cried out this time, pleasure mixing with pain, as he hit a spot only he'd reached. His other hand slid underneath her to wrap around her throat, but he didn't squeeze down, using the hold to keep her in place as her cunt took his cock repeatedly.

Worked up as he was, it didn't take him long to reach a precipice either, slamming into her one last time and moaning as he spent himself inside her. Instead of fucking her through it, he gripped her tight, forcing her to keep still as he filled her. Both of them were trembling from the effort it took not to move, her erratic heartbeat matching his shaky breath. He held her for a while until he was satisfied, slowly lowering her leg but keeping his cock inside her. Sometimes, she needed space after sex with him, but she was content to stay like this.

Gojo kissed the back of her neck again, now covered in a sheen of sweat. "Mm, I like it when you're bossy."

"Do you now?" Utahime managed, still struggling to catch her breath.

"It's different from Suguru," Gojo said. "You're like a mommy."

Utahime swatted his arm. "Weirdo."

But Gojo only laughed, nuzzling the back of her head. "You'd be a good one, you know. I've always thought that, even back when we were in high school."

"I wasn't trying to mommy you," Utahime griped. "I was your senpai and was trying to make you a respectable kohai."

"Yeah, I didn't exactly see it that way," Gojo pointed out, amused with himself. "It's not hard to imagine now. You're so good with the students. They all adore you, even the older ones. You're so natural with them."

She bit her lip. Having children of her own had been a long-forgotten dream. She'd imagined it before, even when she was in high school. Just because she'd decided to become a sorcerer did not mean she didn't also crave the stability and warmth of a family. Being a sorcerer was brutal work and dangerous, but while some strayed away from forming close relationships, like Nanami, she hadn't wanted to lose her chance. Except she kept putting it off until…

Until Gojo turned on them, and the mere idea of getting married and having children seemed ridiculous. She couldn't bring a child into a world where she didn't even know what that world would become and death haunted them around every corner.

Gojo's hand slid over her bare stomach, his fingers stroking her skin and making her jump. "I can't deny that the thought hasn't crossed my mind more than once."

Utahime stiffened. "Now is not the time nor place. You know that."

"No?" Gojo hummed. "I guess not."

What once had been a daydream sounded more like a threat now. Gojo continued to stroke her stomach as if trying to plant the thought inside her, but it was more unsettling now. She already felt tied down by Gojo and Geto alike, but something like that would irrevocably trap her. Even worse, though she'd never had a serious enough relationship to picture having children with, she couldn't pretend like she hadn't imagined it with Gojo before, back before everything came crashing down. It had been stupid and embarrassed her whenever she did, but still…

He had a way of forcing himself into her mind, back then and now.

After a while, Utahime wiggled in his arms, stirring him out of his troublesome thoughts. "We need to get up."

"Ugh, fine."

He let go of her and pulled his cock out of her, dragging some of his mess with him. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about it too much, but the bastard had unlocked a fear that had been rattling around the back of her mind. As hard she tried to clean himself out of her later, that wouldn't erase what he'd done, and Gojo, for his part, seemed intent on taking advantage of every chance he had to take her for his own. After all, if things progressed the way they were now, it wouldn't be long before he wasn't the only one filling her up.

Utahime shuddered, a mixture of arousal and fear coursing through her at the thought. Shame followed quickly after, turning her quiet and almost moody as she dressed.

Before Gojo left, dressed in a standard outfit similar to his Jujutsu High uniform, he took her by the chin and kissed her. "You should go see Suguru sometime today."

She blinked, confused by his sudden switch. "What for?"

"He's still a little out of sorts after last night." Gojo grinned. "You did a real number on him."

"I didn't–" Utahime pressed her lips together in a frown. "Are you sure he's not mad?"

"No, he's definitely not mad," Gojo told her. "I think you two just need to talk – without me around. Clear the air. In an attempt to keep you away from him, I really made a mess of things."

Utahime stared at him for a moment, not quite believing what she was hearing. "That's…awfully considerate of you."

"I might be an ass, but I do care about you both," Gojo pointed out. "And I know this is going to be harder for you both because it's newer. I've known for a long time how I've felt, but I didn't know I could experience both together. It's a relief." He reached over her head to tighten her bow. "Suguru and I have shared before, but it's never been like this. He didn't care for the others – probably didn't even like them – but you're different and he knows it now."

Folding her arms across her chest, Utahime let out a huff. "How can it be this easy for you when you were so jealous before?"

Gojo chuckled. "I'm still working on that if I'm being honest." She rolled her eyes. He would always be bad at sharing, but he could at least learn to be better. Leaning in, he murmured in her ear, "And honestly, I can't wait to watch him fuck you. I'll get to see firsthand what you look like when you're moaning and crying on a cock."

Flushing bright red, Utahime shoved Gojo away, absolutely mortified, but he grinned down at her.

Never mind about him being good and obedient. He was still a menace.

Instead of going off on his own like he was prone to doing, Gojo stayed with her when she joined the other teachers to help out with some of the older students that had been chosen to help out with the individual program. Utahime was somewhat surprised at first, but then again, he had been a teacher for a brief period of time at Jujutsu High. He got along well with the more troubled students, perhaps finding some sort of kinship with them since his own techniques had been difficult to learn and he'd experienced more hardships than most.

And the students liked him as well. Nanako and Mimiko were there, having been convinced by Geto to help out. They couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted to ignore her entirely or stare her down. Even Gojo seemed to frustrate them, Nanako huffing and Mimiko eyeing him like he was a child, though they did smile a little when he hugged them. They were closer to Geto, who had saved them, but they obviously liked Gojo too despite themselves.

Utahime was the one upsetting the balance. They didn't know what to think of her yet. Geto clearly hadn't spoken to them about any changes in their relationship, though they had witnessed a few interactions between them that would have no doubt left them wondering.

"When do we get to work with the kids?" Mimiko asked, her usual cursed doll out of sight.

"Soon," Utahime promised. "We just want to make sure everyone is prepared. Some of these children have experienced a lot of traumatic experiences that have left their cursed energy and techniques stunted."

Rolling her eyes, Nanako scoffed. "I think being locked up, beaten, and starved by non-sorcerers gave us the skills to deal with that already."

Utahime bit back a wince, feeling a little abashed over her misstep, but Gojo whistled. "You're going to need to be a little more subtle than that, not unless you want to find yourself in a difficult situation." He smiled knowingly, his hands folded behind his head. "Don't you remember how that prank on Mai went not long after she was brought here?"

Nanako flinched and even Mimiko looked away. A few of the other students near their age laughed and looked at each other with smirks. Neither girl said anything, both of them blushing, properly cowed by their peers. Whatever Gojo had brought up must have been something the kids talked about amongst each other, a source of embarrassment that could only come from being a teenager. Still, Utahime knew Mai's technique. As snappish and cold as she could be, she wouldn't have been able to do much with her minimal amount of cursed energy.

When Utahime glanced at Gojo curiously, he shrugged. "The girls thought it'd be funny to play a prank on Mai – to welcome her to the family, or so they said – except it upset Yuta and, well, let's just say that when Yuta is upset, Rika is upset, and she was a lot more volatile before you came around."

"It was a misunderstanding," Nanako insisted.

"We said we were sorry," Mimiko added. "He forgave us."

"He did," Gojo agreed, "because, despite his dangerous abilities and power, he's understanding of others." He held out his hands, gesturing to the other students and teachers standing around. "And that's what this is for – to help us not only understand each other but ourselves. You volunteered for this program to help younger sorcerers who haven't experienced this sort of empathy, but it will help you build a better relationship with your own cursed energy and techniques."

It was sound logic and an excellent point, one that the teenage sorcerers could connect with. When Utahime managed to catch eyes with Gojo, he winked, as if he knew what she was thinking. Sometimes, he annoyed her so much with his ridiculous and immature behavior that she forgot he was actually quite intelligent.

She didn't want to inflate his ego any further than it already was so she clapped her hands together and added, "He's right. This program isn't just meant to benefit the younger sorcerers. I learned a lot after becoming a teacher myself, as I'm sure Gojo did as well. This is an opportunity for everyone involved – students, mentors, and teachers alike. I'm hoping that, in time, adult sorcerers who were not given the chance to grow their skills will feel comfortable to join too."

"You really are a teacher, huh," Nanako said.

Utahime snorted. "Well, it was either that or allow myself to be forced into a loveless and brutal marriage, so yes, I am."

"We're here to give sorcerers more opportunities in life than these traditional roles forced upon us," Gojo said. "It wasn't easy for Utahime to become a teacher – and, believe me, on that side, it was even more difficult than you can imagine. This program is a step forward, and you're helping us, even if you think it's just hanging out with an unruly kid for a few hours."

The students settled into line after that, prepared to listen to the rest of the lesson plan another teacher had put together. Utahime was actually proud of Gojo, especially the way he sat back and let the other teacher take over. He didn't try to butt in and only spoke up when he was referred to or a student asked him a specific question, but for the most part, he let the others handle things, seemingly content to observe. He'd never behaved this well in a meeting with the higher-ups or other staff members between the Kyoto and Tokyo schools.

When they broke for lunch, Gojo spoke with the teachers, dishing out encouragements that she knew would have them glowing for days, then pulled her aside.

"I've got some business to take care of," Gojo told her in a low voice. "It's more annoying than anything, but Mei Mei wanted to discuss the financial pros and cons of the clans, and since I have more knowledge of them than Suguru…"

"No, I get it," Utahime replied.

Considering Gojo's complete dismissal of taboos concerning public affection, she wasn't surprised when he kissed her on the forehead, earning more than a few curious glasses from the teachers and students alike. "Go have lunch with Suguru. He'd really like that."

Utahime nodded. "Okay. I'll tell him you're suffering under Mei Mei's relentless money-grubbing supervision."

"You're learning too quickly," Gojo groaned dramatically. "He'll really like that."

He bounded off after that, waving goodbye to the students. They admired him, but that was normal. Gojo was easily admired, his youthful energy causing people to gravitate to him. Even she had struggled not to fall victim to his charm, at least back when she first met him when they were teenagers. Luckily, his obnoxious behavior was enough to counterbalance that for her, giving her a clearer vision of him. The truth was, he hid a lot behind that playful mask, and she was one of the few people he took it off for – and who had seen it slip and survived.

With the student volunteers and teachers dispersing for lunch, Utahime milled about to gather anything left behind. Most everyone left the classroom, but she could sense two lingering energies. She ignored it until finally there was nothing left for her to do, and so she set the folders aside and lifted her gaze to meet them. "Yes?"

"We didn't really want to do this, you know," Nanako pointed out.

Utahime tried not to smile. "I know."

"But we were told how important it was – to him," Mimiko added.

She didn't try to hide the smile this time, a soft and sad one touching her lips. "You didn't want to disappoint him – and I'm sure you won't." They were stubborn girls, but what seventeen year-old girl wasn't? Utahime could remember what she'd been like at that age. Not two months into being eighteen, Gojo and Geto showed up at Jujutsu High for their first year, and she'd thought she was going to lose her mind. "There's a reason Geto wanted you involved in this. You two of all people know what it's like to suffer because of your gifts. He helped you, so he believes you can help others in return."

Mimiko shifted as if she meant to grasp something, but nothing was there, likely her cursed doll missing. "He saved us. We owe him a lot."

"You don't owe him anything," Utahime told them. "He just wants you to be the best versions of yourselves. He was worried that you were isolating yourselves from the others. It's hard enough for him and Gojo to be set so apart and above everyone else. It's lonely. He doesn't want that for you two as well."

Nanako eyed her almost suspiciously. "You know them so well, don't you?"

"Some days," Utahime admitted. "Other days…" She let out a sigh. "I would never have predicted this when I was your age. They were just two annoying, cocky, overpowered, idiot teenage boys that wouldn't listen to anyone." Not much had changed in that respect, except now they were grown men and maybe, just maybe, they could listen once in a while. "Look, I don't expect you to like me – and honestly, it doesn't matter to me if you do or not – but I do appreciate your help with this."

After a moment of sizing her up in true teenage girl fashion, Nanako and Mimiko glanced at each other and then relaxed. Whatever tension they'd been holding onto dissipated. They truly loved Geto. He'd saved their lives, so it was natural that they wanted to protect him from anything they thought might harm him. As a woman, they would view her as a threat more so than most, as girls were wont to do, but Utahime herself was an unexpected and unknown piece in the puzzle. They hadn't anticipated her being more than an annoyance for Geto or someone he held disdain for, so now they didn't know how to view her or interact with her. What would Geto want?

It didn't matter. She didn't want them to try to like her because Geto liked her. Hell, just thinking about Geto's feelings about her made her want to scream. How could it be that he'd literally gone down on her and rung out one of the most powerful orgasms she'd ever experienced, and she still didn't know what the hell he wanted?

"You should go have lunch with the others," Utahime suggested. "Yuta and Mai are around here somewhere. They might be interested in what you're doing in the program."

Mimiko nodded as if to say it was a good idea while Nanako asked, "Why aren't they in it anyway?"

"I'm glad Geto found you two at such a young age. I don't know what happened – and I won't presume to know or ask for details – but it gave him the time and means to help you recover." Utahime sighed. "Others weren't as lucky. Yuta has been incredibly helpful with Jiro and Hifumi thanks to the bond with their curses, but he wouldn't be a good fit for others. And Mai…" She struggled to come up with an explanation that wouldn't be invasive of Mai's privacy. "She's grown stronger here than I could've ever hoped for as her teacher before, but due to her own experiences, she's uninterested in furthering her cursed energy and technique."

Nanako snorted. "You can just say her family fucked her up."

"That would be an understatement," Utahime replied.

"They should've let Yuta have a go at them," Nanako said. "Did you see how scared they were of him? It was so funny."

Utahime struggled not to grimace. Most people thought boys were more brutal, but she knew how cruel girls could be, even without any trauma. She thought back to Maki and Nobara, wondering how they would've reacted to Nanako and Mimiko. Both girls were rough around the edges, Maki having built a wall around herself and Nobara often lashing out when angered. The Zen'in clan was a source of contention for them as well. Nobara wasn't even allowed on the grounds after causing a ruckus. She'd never done well with social norms and expectations, her time spent working alone as a sorcerer making her reckless and blunt.

Jujutsu society as a whole was not kind to women, so it was only natural that they grew up with sharp claws and sharper words. Utahime understood that firsthand.

Apparently satisfied with their confrontation, Nanako and Mimiko wandered off in search for the others. Utahime hoped they found them. Yuta and Mai were also prone to isolating themselves, especially with each other, so it would be good for them all to spend time together and just be a couple of teenagers for once.

As for her… Utahime straightened her back and took a deep breath. She would find Geto and attempt to wring some sort of truth out of him once and for all. There would be no more running away. If he wanted this – if she did, if Gojo did – then she needed to know exactly what this was, no matter how much it scared or dismayed her.

Chapter 30

Notes:

The way work cockblocked me from finishing this chapter yesterday. This is an emotional and moral rollercoaster, and all three of them are down BAD. Sheesh, Geto and Utahime needed to have this conversation. It did not go according to plan. They completely took the wheel and I was just trying to keep up with the characters.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After retrieving two bento boxes from the kitchen, neatly packed on top of each other, Utahime made her way to Geto's office. It was still strange walking around the grounds on her own, but Yuta had watched over the classroom with Hifumi and Jiro while she worked with the students helping the program. She knew it made him nervous to be separated from her for so long, especially after Naoya's little stunt with her after dinner, but she could also appreciate this newfound independence, even if she knew deep down it was a sham.

After all, Gojo was trying to make her feel like this was her home, and he couldn't do that if she was constantly under lock and key with a shadow tailing her at every turn, no matter how nice that shadow was.

Still, she felt vulnerable on her own out in the open like this, so she was a bit relieved when she reached Geto's office without anyone stopping her. It was clear many of the sorcerers here were trying to treat her like she was one of them, but it was awkward sometimes and felt distinctly put upon. In the end, it was easier if they ignored her. Save for the teachers, who could usually put aside their opinions of her for the job, she was something of a spectacle for everyone else – and a toy in the commanders' eyes. She was perfectly fine with them refusing to acknowledge her.

After knocking on the door, she waited. When a little time passed without a response, she panicked, thinking he might not be in his office. What would she do now? Awkwardly return back to the classroom? She felt a little foolish, realizing that there was nothing else she could do. She didn't have a way of contacting Geto or Gojo – or anyone, seeing as how Gojo had destroyed her cell phone the second he teleported them here. The memory made her heart drop, an unexpected reminder of how she got here in the first place.

And now she was – what? – bringing lunch to Geto's office to talk with him about the fact that he'd eaten her out while she sat in Gojo's lap and then made himself scarce?

What the fuck was she doing?

"Utahime?"

Deep in her racing thoughts, Utahime startled so badly that she nearly dropped both of the bento boxes, catching them at the last second. Turning around, she found Geto standing in front of her – holding a container of food as well. Ah, well, that made sense. They must have just missed each other.

"Oh, if you're busy already, I can just–"

"No, it's okay." A ghost of a smile crossed Geto's lips. "Did you need something?"

"Um, well…"

Utahime shifted on her feet, feeling a bit awkward. What was she supposed to talk with him about? Now that she was face-to-face with him, she was suddenly aware of the fact that she didn't know how she felt about any of this. It was impossible for her to understand, the emotions floating away and changing before she could fully grasp them. So much was happening in such a short amount of time. How could a simple conversation over lunch make it better?

Well, it was either that or she drove herself insane over questioning every little thing. She didn't want to be a toy shared between them or for this to be a game. At the same time, she was confused by her feelings when she'd sworn up and down that she held nothing but contempt for both of them for what they'd done.

"Gojo thought we should have lunch," Utahime finally settled on saying. It was the truth, at least.

Still, Geto seemed to understand what she was doing. "Using him as the scapegoat, are we?"

"I was thinking more of an excuse," Utahime sighed.

Nonetheless, Geto didn't appear to be bothered by her bumbling, chuckling under his breath and sliding the door open for her to enter. She glanced at him once before stepping inside, standing stiffly in the middle of the room before he gestured for her to put the bento boxes down on his desk. She'd been in here multiple times, alone with him even and one time with a large curse hovering over her as a threat, but for some reason, she was more anxious now than ever before. This was foolish. She was so stupid. This was ridiculous. She was–

"Satoru warned me that you were upset," Geto said, slicing through her thoughts.

"I'm not upset." She was too quick to retort, a flash of irritation over Gojo's presumption taking over, and bit her lip at the knowing look Geto sent her way. "I'm not upset. I'm just… I'm unsettled."

Geto looked her over, perhaps waiting for her to continue, but it only made Utahime feel, well, even more unsettled than before. With a huff, she sat down in front of his desk, taking off the lid of the bento boxes and then organizing everything the kitchen staff had given her. She was obviously trying to distract herself and force Geto to speak, but he knew he could wait her out. Utahime was incapable of being silent for long periods of time unless it was for the higher-ups or for her students' sake, and even then, she'd begun to struggle.

"Will you please sit down?" Utahime asked through gritted teeth.

"Of course."

As soon as Geto sat down across from her, Utahime slapped a pair of chopsticks down on the desk and looked up. "I thought we were done with these games."

A sheepish grimace flickered across Geto's face. "I'm sorry. It's a reflex of mine."

"Is it a reflex or a coping mechanism?"

Geto nodded. "Touche. You're not entirely wrong."

"I don't know what I'm doing." When Geto opened his mouth, Utahime quickly added, "And don't say I'm having lunch. I'm not in the mood for your clever deflections." He closed his mouth. She was at least satisfied with being right. "I don't know what I'm doing, Geto, and I'm scared. I'll admit it. I'm terrified."

"Of what?" Geto asked. "Us or yourself?"

Utahime pressed her lips together, staring back at him, then shook her head. "I don't know. Both, I guess." She fiddled with the open bento box in front of her. She had been hungry, but now her stomach turned at the sight of food prepared by people who were treated little better than cattle. "I feel like… I'm losing sight of myself."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like… I'm losing myself in both of you." It was difficult to explain, but she had to get these thoughts out of her mind or she would lose it. "You don't understand because you're both so strong and you've always been at the top, but it's so easy to be overwhelmed by you. I thought working with Hifumi and Jiro would be a means to keep me safe – from you, as you admitted to wanting me killed – but it's become so much more now and I don't… I don't know how it happened. It's like I was swept away by this…this image you conjured of me."

"We didn't conjure anything, Utahime," Geto told her. "This – this program, the work you've done with Hifumi and Jiro, the help you've provided the other teachers, the growth you helped give Yuta and Mai – that is all you."

"Is it though?" Utahime questioned. "I don't agree with your beliefs. I don't agree with your tactics. I don't agree with what you've done." Geto looked back at her, impassive and unblinking, but his lack of judgment and disgruntlement only served to irritate her for some reason. "I thought, if I just worked with the kids, if I took care of them as I'd wanted to when I was tasked with taking them in, I could keep my hands clean. I could still be me and not betray my beliefs and my friends."

"This is you," Geto insisted. "I know you don't agree with our goal – I know you absolutely loathe it and it breaks your heart – and I know that will never change."

Utahime rested a hand over her heart. "But I am a part of this now. I am helping you. This entire organization is built on people working together. Even the smallest work is important. That's what you're teaching – that any sorcerer can help, that even someone weak and seemingly unimportant can help. Even if it's someone tending to the garden or building some sort of infrastructure or just teaching some stubborn kids. I'm helping you."

Geto sighed, relaxing further in his chair, and nodded. "You are."

"I might not be out in the field taking out opponents or culling the world of non-sorcerers, but I'm a cog in this system that you've created, and it…" Utahime dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. It felt as if her heart was sinking as well, further into a dark pit that she hadn't even been aware of until it was too late. Quicksand, slowly sucking her under them. "It was so easy. It was like nothing ever changed. One day I was stubborn and angry, and the next, I found myself eager to please you, excited when you approved of my ideas, thrilled to try them out myself."

"It's more than just about pleasing Satoru or me," Geto told her. "I knew even back when we were teenagers that you'd make an excellent teacher. You were so patient and kind with the younger students and, aside from outbursts here and there, you could even handle me and Satoru quite well. I knew Satoru was right when he told me to give you a chance, and I knew, the second you sought me out on your own to work with Hifumi and Jiro, that you were far more than anyone had ever given you credit for. That mettle, that strength, that ferocious desire to protect, that love to nurture – that hasn't changed either. We had nothing do to with that."

Utahime frowned. "I don't want to just fill the fodder of your ranks with soldiers. That's what it felt like I was doing in the end for the other side – like I was teaching these children to sacrifice themselves and die for a future they'd never see."

A hard look fell over Geto's face. "That's not what we're doing here."

"It isn't?" Utahime demanded. "Is that not what happened to Yuta?" Sitting upright, Geto sucked in a breath, but he didn't argue with her. "You took a boy – a frightened, confused, powerful boy – and you taught him to be a weapon. Even now, he's still desperate for your approval. He'll– he has done everything you've asked of him. I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to help these children and then send them off to commit atrocities."

"You're not," Geto told her. "We aren't building an army. We're trying to build a future."

"Then what–?"

"Yes, Satoru and I… We did teach Yuta to be a weapon, but look what you taught him." Geto leaned forward on his desk, gesturing to her to focus her attention on him again. She did so, looking at him somewhat begrudgingly. "The boy I knew before you arrived was still frightened, by his own power even, and he could barely look people in the eyes unless he was working as a weapon." He smiled softly. "It's not like that anymore. He's a boy. He's got friends, people that look up to him, people that trust and adore him. He's happy. That's not something everyone can teach. I don't think Satoru and I can, and I'm grateful that you're able to do this for the children and students that need it the most."

Utahime bit her lip, thinking Geto's words over. She wanted to believe him – she wanted to believe she was doing good – but there was that feeling again that she was being swept under. It was so easy to be lulled by them, just in different ways. Gojo could be overwhelming physically, using his mere presence and aura to make her lose sense, but Geto's way with words seemed to consume her. Logically, she knew that she had done good work with Yuta – he was so much different from the boy who knocked on her locked door that first day – and she'd done amazing work with Hifumi and Jiro, even the other students in their class.

But what good was that growth for? She was afraid that maybe she'd helped Yuta too much – that his boost in confidence and newfound view of life had somehow managed to push him further into their clutches.

And that, in a way, she'd done it to herself as well. Deep down, she'd known that she loved Gojo, despite how much he drove her crazy, and she had still loved him, painfully so, after his defection. Everyone must have known. Mei Mei had made it sound like it was obvious to her. She'd been waiting for Gojo to lose his patience and bring her to them, even if it meant bringing her kicking and screaming. The higher-ups had to have an inkling, but she wasn't sure how. It wasn't like they'd ever been intimate with each other, even though they had spent time together outside of work.

Gojo had said that, apart from simply wanting her with him, he had brought her here because he knew she could be more. She could be great even. She'd almost felt that today, working with students that didn't know much about her but still looked at her with admiration. It didn't even have to do with Gojo's obvious affection for her. She didn't have to swallow down bitter half-truths or give empty promises or anything. She could just…do what she loved. And she did love it. She loved answering their questions and guiding them through difficult scenarios and working with their techniques.

She loved what Gojo and Geto had allowed her to do, just the trust and boost she'd needed.

"Is that what you two were missing?" Utahime asked quietly. "Happiness?"

Geto hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps. This entire thing grew beyond our imagination, especially after Satoru defected and joined me. We were working together – we were together – but at the same time…" He shook his head. "We were both restless and tired, frustrated with the constant charade we were putting on. We couldn't really be ourselves and any bit of fun we had was more of a means to blow off steam or even take a stab at each other."

"You love each other," Utahime mumbled, "but you can be quite cruel to each other too."

"Yes, unfortunately, we know how to hurt each other where it hurts the most," Geto admitted. "You, my dear, were at the top of the list." She raised her eyes to meet his gaze, but he didn't look amused or angry or anything. If anything, he looked a bit sad as he reflected. "I'd known about his feelings for a long time. I used to tease him about it when we were students. He'd get so worked up about it, genuinely embarrassed, and for a moment, I'd feel better that he was just as human as me."

"You weren't jealous?"

"Back then? No, it was comical to me. Satoru had this boyish charm about him that could sucker in girls, but around you, he was entirely helpless." Geto laughed. "I'd flirt with you sometimes to get a rise out of him. He'd throw a fit and inevitably do something to make you stomp away, just to get you away from me."

Utahime raised her eyebrows. "You flirted with me?"

"I did," Geto said, smiling to himself, "but you never noticed." He shrugged. "You were so oblivious. It was cute. I could get the appeal, but you stayed away from me for the most part."

"Yeah, well…" Utahime fidgeted in her seat, picking up the chopsticks again and attempting to eat. "You made me nervous. I could never figure out what you were thinking. I didn't even know if you liked me or not."

Geto tilted his head. "And now?"

"I don't know," Utahime said, taking a stab at some seaweed, "seeing as how you just up and left last night and seemed fully intent on ignoring me."

"Ah, I…" This time, it was Geto who averted his gaze from her, something she wasn't used to seeing. "That is entirely on me. It wasn't what I was expecting. It was…different – a lot."

Utahime swallowed, trying to keep her cool like him. "What do you mean?"

"As you already know, Satoru and I have shared partners from time to time, though I'll admit it was more of a passing game for me," Geto explained. "We did it when were teenagers too, though it was different. We'd go for the same girl, but it was easier for me to win when I knew his heart wasn't really in it."

"Wow," Utahime deadpanned, "you two sound like great guys."

Geto coughed into his hand. "It's not our best look, I'll admit."

"So what's different now?" Utahime asked.

"Easy. It's you." Geto settled a measured look upon her, and, though her heart skipped a beat, she didn't look away either, determined to meet his gaze head-on. "I was looking at this like it was just another one of Satoru's games, but it wasn't. He's serious about you. He might come off as ridiculous and playful, but you were never a part of the game for him. When I realized that, I grew frustrated, but you…" He laughed under his breath. "You wouldn't give up. You were relentless. I thought you were a toy, but it turned out, you were a player."

"I'm not–"

"I know. You're not playing games, and it took me time to realize that I didn't want to either." Geto let out a sigh. "For so long, it's only ever been me and Satoru – when we were students, now as adults, even when we were enemies. No one could match him in my life, and so it was impossible for me to let anyone else in. I can be friendly and warm and even care for those I consider family, but I couldn't truly be myself with anyone but him."

"I didn't want to take that from you," Utahime mumbled.

"You didn't," Geto told her. When she didn't seem convinced, he stood up and walked around to the front of the desk, sitting on the edge. He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back so that she had to look up at him. "You opened up my eyes that there could be more – that I was holding myself back because I was resentful and still angry. I could feel myself changing around you. I'll spare you the details about my warm and fuzzy feelings, but you were obviously different from the others. You saw right through everything, and that unsettled me."

"I didn't do anything…"

"You did everything," Geto said. "I wanted you – that much, I could contend with – but it wasn't until I saw the way you came undone in Satoru's lap did I realize how much I wanted you. And then…" She bit her lip, dragging his attention down. "It was even more. I wanted what Satoru had. I wanted everything you could give me. You talk about us overwhelming you, but I was overwhelmed by you last night. It was so much to take in. It hurt how much I wanted you, and it…took me aback. I couldn't reconcile how I felt."

"So you left," Utahime surmised.

"I needed time to think," Geto explained. "For the first time, I got a true taste of you, and it was far better and more than I anticipated. I was caught off guard. It took everything in me not to push for more." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You were so worn out though. We truly did a number on you."

Utahime huffed, pulling her chin out from his finger. "There was a lot going on." She stood up and pushed the chair back so she could get some space from him. Being this close to him felt dangerous. "Forgive me for being hesitant, but isn't this too weird? I'm not on your and Gojo's level. Plus, it's…"

"It's what? Wrong for us to all be together?"

Flushing, Utahime wrapped her arms around herself and grumbled, "It's not normal. I keep worrying that I'm betraying Gojo, but then, I…" She glanced at Geto out of the corner of her eyes, then quickly looked again when she saw him gazing at her. "I…can't deny that I feel… I mean, I wouldn't have let you…if I didn't…"

Geto was obviously biting back a smile. "You wouldn't have let me what?"

Flashing him a petulant glare, Utahime turned her back on him. She was growing more flustered by the second. Why was this so hard now? She hadn't stammered and freaked out when she agreed to let Geto go down on her. Talking about this out loud in the middle of the day made her feel shameless and weird, especially after having such a serious discussion with him. Was she the one trying to deflect now?

"Utahime." Geto's voice was a low timber, close behind her. Doing her best not to react, she sucked in a breath, but she couldn't stop herself from jolting when she felt his fingers brush through her hair. "You weren't this embarrassed last night. Are you ashamed of what we did now?"

"No, I–" Utahime squeezed herself tighter.

"Did you not enjoy it?"

Her shoulders tensing, Utahime bit out, "You know the answer to that."

"Mm, yes, but I want to hear you say it," Geto practically purred. "Did you enjoy my mouth on your cunt?"

A shudder coursed through Utahime's body. "You know I did."

Geto laughed softly. "So stubborn." He brushed her hair over her shoulder so he could expose her neck and then, just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, he pressed his lips over her pulse point. Worked up as she'd been from their earlier discussion and now this, she struggled not to melt into his back. "I do know though. I felt everything – your pleasure, your taste, your cursed energy. Do you even know how beautiful it is?" With her throat constricted, all she could do was shake her head. "I'll have to show you then, won't I?"

They were supposed to be having lunch, but the food both of them had brought sat on the desk completely forgotten. A part of her wondered if Gojo would be angry for doing this without him, but he was the one who had pushed for her and Geto to spend time together. He had to have known that something like this might happen after things had been left unfinished. In the end, she couldn't think about Gojo, not when Geto was doing his very best to make sure she could only focus on him.

Sliding a hand over her throat and underneath her chin, he tilted her head to the side so he could continue kissing a path up her neck, sucking gently so as to not leave a mark. Sparks of arousal tingled through her body, and she closed her eyes, parting her lips to allow little breathy pants to pour from her. Even something as simple as this felt so good, especially when he slid his other hand down her side to drag her back against him.

It wasn't enough though, and Utahime found herself wanting more.

When she pulled away from him, Geto let out a huff of disappointment, but then she turned around, cupped his face with both hands, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him properly. That definitely pleased him, any disappointment he might've felt vanishing as he molded his lips against hers. The position changed the energy immediately, and he used his size to back her against the desk.

Just like the night he'd kissed her after witnessing her confront Naoya, he kissed her like he meant to consume her, forcing her lips open so he could slide his tongue into her mouth. She whimpered, keyed up by his sudden aggression, and pushed her hands into his hair, tugging on a fistful. He moaned into her mouth, grabbing her by the hips and dragging her forward to rub her against him. She was surprised to find him already somewhat hard underneath his robes, bolts of pleasure shooting through her with every rock of their hips.

The glide of his hands on her body felt so good, even over her clothes, and she leaned in close when he slid them over her back and then ass. A squeak escaped her when he suddenly lifted her from her feet and set her on the desk, knocking aside the carefully packed bento boxes. "Geto!"

But he nipped at her lips, a playful grin on his own, kissing away any of her protests. "Don't worry about it."

Utahime wanted to think about the hard work that had been wasted, but she found herself unable to concentrate as Geto worked on her clothes. Unlike Gojo's rough tugging to get her undressed, Geto was methodical, unraveling her piece by piece. He managed to undo her hakama, lifting her up just enough to pull them off. That made things easier for him, and he quickly made work of her kosode, untying it and sliding his hand inside and sighing when he found yet another layer.

"Satoru was right," Geto grumbled. "You wear too many layers."

"Maybe it's necessary," Utahime shot back, smiling over his frustration. She really didn't like making things easy. It was the only form of retribution she could give them.

"Mm, you're probably right," Geto mused, nudging her head to the side so he could lick a stripe up her neck. "Who knows what we'd get up to if we had easier and faster access?"

With one hand pulling at the thin nagajuban under her kosode, he took her other hand in his, guiding it back to his body. She got the hint, using both hands to untie his kasaya to fully expose his black yukata underneath. In the end, it was easier to deal with his clothes, as her heart shot into her throat when her hands connected with bare skin. She slid her fingers over his chest, unsurprised to find him just as defined as Gojo. They really were beautiful in opposite ways, the dark to Gojo's light, with her hovering somewhere in between.

In the end, Geto's patience ran out, and he shoved her kosode over her shoulders, leaving her in just a nagajuban. She had to pull her arms out of the sleeves so that they weren't trapped at her sides, returning her hands to him as soon as she freed them. The last protective layer of her clothes was lose as it was, exposing part of her chest and one shoulder, but when he moved to pull it off entirely, she stiffened.

"Wait–"

"It's okay," Geto reassured her, pushing back on her to the point where she had to slap a hand on the desk to keep herself from falling over. He kissed a trail down her neck and her collarbone until he reached the top of her breasts. Just the promise of being touched and sucked made her core throb with anticipation, causing her to spread her legs so that he could slide in even closer to her.

Laying his hand on top of hers on the desk, he threaded their fingers together, keeping her planted, and then brushed her nagajuban aside in order to run his other hand over her thigh. He crept closer and closer, maddeningly slow, and then gently brushed his fingertips over her underwear. She had to bite her lip to cut off a cry, her hips jerking forward as he stroked her delicately.

"I couldn't stop thinking about the sounds you made when you came," Geto confessed. "I could barely sleep."

Utahime grabbed him by the arm in an attempt to ground herself, digging her fingers into his sleeves. "I wanted you to come back. You didn't, and I–" She'd missed him. Exhausted, sleep had overtaken her, but she couldn't stop thinking about him when she woke up. It was like there was an empty spot in their room, in their bed. "Geto, we shouldn't–"

"Why not?" Geto asked, licking the valley between her breasts.

Her whole body was warm; she must've been flushed all the way down her chest. "We're in your office and it's in the middle of the day and–"

Geto nipped at one of her breasts, and she actually jumped. "What? Has Satoru not fucked you during the day?" She pressed her lips together, refusing to give an answer, but it didn't matter. "What a waste of time. I figured he'd be using every chance he got to fill you up."

He slid a finger into her suddenly, ripping a gasp from her. Gripping his sleeve with white knuckles, she rocked her hips forward, sinking him further into her. She wondered if he could feel the mess Gojo left in her earlier this morning, if Gojo had done it purposely in hopes that Geto would find the evidence for himself. If he did, it didn't bother Geto. He stepped in even closer, pushing her legs open as much as they could with his body, and pressed the heel of his palm against her cunt. At this angle, if anyone were to walk in, they would've thought he was actually fucking her. She moaned at the image, cursing herself over how much it aroused her.

She shouldn't have wanted him this much. It made her feel like she was spiraling out of control, like she could lose herself to him if she slipped for a second.

Frustratingly though, even though he had a finger buried inside of her, he didn't move. Utahime huffed in protest, tugging on his sleeve, but he held her in place with one hand on her cunt and the other hand holding her down on the desk. "Geto," she muttered, practically whining.

Geto kissed her again, keeping his lips pressed against hers as he spoke in a low voice. "Fuck yourself on my fingers."

Her breath stuttered in her chest, especially when he pulled his finger out so he could slide in a second. He would know just how wet she was, embarrassingly so. She had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from making a pathetic whimpering noise as she rocked herself forward onto his fingers. It was dangerous – blindingly good, her mind desperate to chase down the pleasure.

She just had to get this out of her system. Then, she could think straight. Then, she could focus on her anger. Then, she wouldn't feel like she was going crazy.

Either that, or she'd get much worse. This had to be the worst kind of betrayal there was, and even worse, with such a powerful wave of pleasure building deep within her, she was struggling to remember why. She had still loved Gojo despite the pain she'd experienced with every bit of news that came after his betrayal. The only difference with Geto was that she had only gotten closer with him after he became a curse user.

"Do you know why Satoru teases you about being weak?" Geto asked, his lips brushing over her ear. His breath was warm, a bolt of arousal shivering through her body and making her cunt clench his fingers. "It's because he knows just how strong you are. You've kept a tight lid on yourself, making yourself appear smaller, docile, obedient – but he knew the truth, and now I do too. I heard it. I felt it."

Her eyes fluttering closed, Utahime tilted her head back. "I'm– I'm not–"

"Don't hold back," Geto demanded. "Give me everything, Utahime."

Every roll of her hips buried him further into her again, and she had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out when he crooked his fingers, hitting a spot that threatened to send her careening over the edge. She was close, so close, that tears burned her eyes. He sucked on her ear, and she jerked forward with a desperate gasp and–

A knock on the office door shattered everything, Suda's muffled voice coming from outside. "Geto, I have the reports you requested earlier."

Utahime froze on the spot, her entire body stiffening. Even her walls clutched Geto's fingers, and he stilled inside her. Instead of absolute pleasure, a mixture of horror, dismay, and humiliation crashed over Utahime all at once. What the fuck was she doing? She had come here to have a serious discussion with Geto – voice her insecurities and fears – and yet here she was, half naked on his desk with his fingers buried in her cunt.

Geto dropped his face into her shoulder. "Fuck. I forgot."

Suda was infuriatingly diligent, knocking once more. "Geto?"

With his fingers still inside her, Geto straightened himself and called out, "Give me a minute. I'm finishing something."

Except there would be no finishing this. He gave her an apologetic almost mournful look as he slowly pulled his fingers out of her. Thankfully, the hand over her mouth muffled any sounds that tried to escape her. Absolutely mortified, Utahime slid off his desk, but it was a struggle to stand, her legs shaking as she stood and quickly redressed herself. She was so out of it that she couldn't even tie her hakama properly. In the end, she gave up and sat down, rearranging the bento box that hadn't been knocked onto the ground on the other side of the desk.

With her back to the door, Utahime listened as Geto slid open the door and greeted, "Sorry about that. I appreciate you bringing these to me so quickly."

"Of course. I thought you might be hungry as well?"

"Utahime already brought me lunch, but thank you."

"Oh. I see."

Though her eyes were very intensely focused on the bento box in front of her, Utahime felt Suda's sharp eyes. She wouldn't glare at her outright, not with Geto standing in front of her, but Utahime could sense the weight of judgment being laid on her. Nonetheless, Utahime refused to budge, keeping her back straight and her chin tilted upward. She would have loved to say it was due to her determination, but it was more out of humiliation than anything else.

There would be repercussions for this. Utahime was not looking forward to dealing with any passive-aggressive jealousy. Maybe she'd go running to Gojo to tell on her in an attempt to edge her out. That would honestly be kind of funny. No doubt she'd be shocked when he told her that he had been the one to suggest she and Geto have lunch together without him.

"I'll leave you to finish. Let me know if you need anything else."

"I will."

He slid the door shut, then sighed. No matter how worked up they'd been before, the moment was clearly over. Utahime couldn't shake the thought that she might've allowed Geto to fuck her in his office in the middle of the day had she gotten off and they'd not been interrupted.

Geto returned to sit behind his desk, setting a folder down. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I had no intention of embarrassing you like that. I completely forgot I asked Suda for this. I saw you at my door and nothing else mattered for a moment while we were in here." She fiddled with the bento box, watching him carefully through her lashes. "It's like everything is conspiring against me when it comes to you."

"No vacation days for cult leaders?"

A half-smile tugged at the corner of Geto's lips. "That would be nice, wouldn't it? Satoru and I could take you somewhere special, away from all of this. Somewhere warm and beautiful, near the ocean. We could just be us without any of these complications and confusions, if only for a day or two."

The thought was a nice one. She could tell he was losing himself in the scenario, but he couldn't leave this place entirely, his fingers tapping the folder in front of him. It was dangerously easy to forget themselves when they were with each other. She couldn't deny loving the way she felt with both Geto and Gojo, especially now that she was able to grow and do her own things, but it scared her too.

That should've made her leave or want to run away, but it didn't.

"It'd be nice," Utahime agreed a bit shyly, "if we could just spend time together." She took in a breath and picked up the one pair of chopsticks that hadn't gotten knocked aside. "Yours and Gojo's lives revolve around how special and powerful you are, but how long has it been since you spent a normal night together?"

Geto pulled his hand away from his face and gazed back at her. "You're right. I can't even remember when we did that." A rather soft look came over him. "Maybe you were the piece of the puzzle we were missing the whole time."

Her heart skipped a beat, and she looked back down. She felt foolish for blushing over something so simple and boring when they'd come close to having sex minutes ago, but she couldn't help it. She liked hearing it too much. She liked the way Geto looked at her and how he spoke about both her and Gojo.

She wasn't teetering at the edge of something dangerous. She'd jumped right off.

Notes:

There's a SatoSuguHime zine in the works if you're interested! We're in the creation period right now.

Chapter 31

Notes:

We're here. We're finally here. I actually spent the better part of my evening losing my absolute marbles over writing this chapter. After years of writing this fic, we're fucking HERE. Honestly, I got emotional over it, and I feel like you can tell via Utahime at the end of the chapter, because it was just... idk it was overwhelming to finally be here, when so much of this story hinges on their relationship.

Shout out to the Penny Dreadful OST for being absolutely perfect.

Chapter Text

A few days later, Utahime got her wish. For the first time in months, they settled down for a normal night – just a small group of them meeting up for dinner. She was even happy that it wasn't just her, Gojo, and Geto. Mei Mei showed up, looking flawless as usual. Yuta and Mai were lightly bickering as they set up the table, the same as ever. Even Nanako and Mimiko came, and for once, they didn't seem bothered by her presence, just happy to be with their family.

There were no pretenses surrounding the dinner, no strategic meetings, nothing important or serious to discuss, just dinner with family and friends.

And, perhaps most importantly…

"Beer!" Utahime gasped.

Gojo laughed. "I knew that would do the trick."

Utahime couldn't deny the way her face lit up when Gojo presented her with a pack of her favorite beer. Hell, the last time she'd drank alcohol was a few days prior to Gojo bringing her here. She'd admittedly gotten a bit drunk with Yuki and Nanami, enough so that the latter had to put her to bed when she passed out.

Her relationship with alcohol couldn't be considered healthy, but then again, her life on that side had been stressful and sometimes downright painful. There had been nights when she couldn't sleep unless she drank enough to ease her into a state of unconsciousness. It was the only thing that drowned out the nightmares, blocking out the flashes of destruction she'd witnessed when Gojo turned on them and any screams that still echoed in the back of her mind.

Since her arrival here, she hadn't had a lick of alcohol. Not that it hadn't been provided, of course. There had been plenty of sake being passed around during the weekend when the clan representatives visited, but she hadn't been able to stomach a single cup, leaving hers untouched on the table. She'd settled for tea instead, hoping it would calm her nerves. Maybe a small part of her had even been afraid of drinking. She knew how she got when she was a certain level of drunk – temperamental and aggressive. She couldn't be like that here.

Tonight, however, with a light air hanging over them, Utahime was all too eager to crack open a bottle and take a long drag, plopping down happily on a cushion at the table.

"Lush," Gojo teased fondly, bending over to kiss her on the crown of her head.

"How can you say you love her when you've denied her the simplest of pleasures?" Mei Mei asked, a smile on her face.

"It was for her own good," Gojo insisted. "We know how she gets when she's drunk."

Mei Mei chuckled. "She's a fighter."

With a pout, Utahime grumbled, "I'm not that bad," knowing damn well that she kind of was.

Back when she was with the others, they had done their best not to discuss work while drinking. It set them all off, but none more so than Utahime, who dropped all sense of decorum and respect after a few too many beers. She'd complain about the higher-ups and clan leaders to no end, mock their newest slight against her, and rant about the students' treatment.

And she would curse Gojo and Geto up and down, vicious and hurt, creating more inventive swears each time. Not to mention all the fights she'd gotten into at bars. If someone even hinted they agreed with what Gojo and Geto were doing, she would go off on them, usually requiring Yuki or Kusukabe to drag her away from them.

Funny that she was happily drinking with them now. Maybe she should slap herself next time.

Nonetheless, Utahime found herself easily swept away by how nice and relaxing the night was. Geto must have made it a point to keep the non-sorcerer servants away, asking Nanako and Mimiko to help him bring in the food. They were eager to help, all too happy to spend normal time with him, just two teenage girls with the man they considered their father. It was sweet and familiar, something they'd done before the cult grew as big as it was now.

During dinner, they didn't discuss anything that had to do with the cult. Mei Mei talked about her little brother, Ui Ui, who Utahime hadn't seen since he was seven. She was more than happy to show off pictures of him, giving Utahime a glimpse into the years she'd missed. Nanako complained about the load of homework they'd been given, insisting that Geto was purposely making things more difficult for them since they were his girls. Mimiko brought up a boy from their class who seemed to be very interested in Mai, which she instantly rebuffed.

"When are you going to get a girlfriend, Yuta?" Nanako asked, wrapping her arms around one of his and smiling up at him.

Yuta swallowed his food. "Uh, I don't think… I don't really have time…"

"Of course you do!" Nanako insisted. "Now that you're staying here instead of going on all those missions, you have more time than ever." She pinched his side, making him jump. "There isn't any girl here that has caught your interest?"

"Ah, well…" Yuta cleared his throat. "Rika isn't… She doesn't really like other people getting close to me, so…"

Mimiko tilted her head. "Still using that excuse?"

"I think Rika's jealousy and possessive nature has improved quite a bit," Geto pointed out. "She hasn't lashed out at anyone in quite some time. You appear to have a much firmer grip on her these days."

Somewhat pink in the face, Yuta glanced in Mai's direction, probably for help, but she only shrugged and continued to eat, either unbothered or unwilling to lend him support. "I… I don't think I'm… I mean, I'm not really familiar with the others, and no one else has ever asked me to hang out. I only hang out with you all."

Utahime set her beer down. "You don't hang out with any of the other kids your age at all?"

Yuta shook his head. "I'm not really, ah… I've never been a part of that crowd."

"What about your education?"

Nanako sighed dramatically, resting her head against his arm. "Yuta is special. Geto and Gojo basically home-school him. He's never been in any of the classes with us."

With a frown, Utahime considered Yuta, who was picking at him food with one hand, allowing Nanako to teasingly cling to his other arm. It made sense. Back when she first met Yuta, he hadn't been that good around others, and people, even grown sorcerers, could barely look him in the eyes. He'd been more like Hifumi and Jiro in that respect, uncomfortable around his peers and even shunned. People didn't like Rika, and she didn't like them in return, meaning he was often separated. Plus, Gojo and Geto had sent him to do work in their stead.

He wasn't a normal boy. He couldn't be. These past months had likely been the most normal life he'd lived in a long time.

"You should hang out with them," Utahime told him. "Surely Nanako, Mimiko, and Mai have invited you."

"Yes, but…" Yuta sighed. "It's mostly out of pity. The others don't want me there."

"You don't know that," Utahime insisted. "You haven't even tried."

"I don't fit in," Yuta said. "They don't like me."

Before Utahime could disagree with him, Mai piped up, "He's right. They don't like him much. Everyone either thinks he's fucked up and a weirdo or they're terrified of him."

"They're just jealous," Mimiko said. "He's as strong as Geto and Gojo, so of course he's bound to stand out."

"I still think you should try, even just once," Utahime stated. "They might be scared of you, dislike you, or even be jealous, but that's because they don't know you. They've never been given the chance to know you." She held out her hands. "Of course they're going to be wary, because you've always been set apart from them – put on display as special and different and stronger – but you're still a teenager like them. You should have the chance to experience the same things as them."

Yuta peered up at her through his lashes, something of a contemplative expression on his face. This was what Geto had told her was her skill, wasn't it? Yuta still saw himself as a weapon – as separate from others, on his own – but slowly but surely, he was learning to be more than that. He was living his life, not just serving. He deserved friends and to have fun, develop a crush on someone, laugh and blush and smile. He'd had that before, hadn't he? The idea that something as normal as hanging out with kids his age had been stolen from him didn't set right with her.

Gojo and Geto might have fashioned him into the perfect weapon, but he was a just a teenage boy too.

"Utahime is right," Gojo declared. "And so what if the other kids don't like you? Not everyone will, and that's okay."

"Gojo would know," Utahime added. "When he was your age, he was the most annoying person I'd ever met in my life."

"I was also the most handsome person you'd ever met too," Gojo shot back.

After eyeing him sideways for a moment, Utahime looked away and took a sip of her beer. "No, Geto was more attractive."

A gasp of mock-offense slipped from Gojo, Geto smiling at him smugly. Nanako and Mimiko snickered into their hands while Mai snorted and Mei Mei shook her head. Yuta considered them all carefully, but there was a faint smile on his face. She could tell he was slowly opening up to the idea. If Gojo and Geto had been able to simply be teenagers even with their power, then maybe he could do the same.

Of course, things were a different. They hadn't had the same amount of mass destruction under their belt when they'd been his age and the world hadn't been thrown into utter chaos.

"What we're trying to say is that you need to have more fun," Gojo continued. "Goof off, be silly, stay up too late, spend an hour over-analyzing a conversation you had with your crush." He flicked open a bottle of sake and poured a bit into an empty cup, leaning over to hand it to him. "Sneak a bit of alcohol and just be dumb."

"Gojo!" Utahime exclaimed, rocking forward onto her knees in an attempt to snatch the cup out of his hands before Yuta could take it. "He's underage!"

"So?" Gojo flashed her a cheeky grin, lifting the cup out of her reach.

Mai raised an eyebrow. "He's literally obliterated a town and assassinated government leaders, but you're drawing the line at underage drinking?"

Yuta stiffened, and Utahime shot her a pointed look. "Mai!"

"What? It's true." Mai shrugged. "You're being kind of ridiculous there. He's done a lot worse. What's a cup or two of sake going to do to corrupt him?"

She had a point, but Utahime still didn't want to concede. It would feel akin to giving up.

"Besides," Geto drawled, "it's not like you were against it before."

Utahime flushed, stammering out, "I didn't–" before snapping her mouth shut. She couldn't argue with them there, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, but they all knew it would be a lie. Throughout most of her life, she had tried her best to appear conservative and traditional, but nothing could quite smooth out the chaotic edge in her.

Gojo sighed dramatically. "Utahime, my sweet senpai, got me black out drunk for the first and last time when I was just an innocent seventeen year old boy."

"I didn't get you drunk!" Utahime hissed, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Oh yes you did," Gojo retorted, a savage smirk cutting across his face. "You and Mei Mei snuck in alcohol on campus after a mission and got us all stupid drunk."

"Only Shoko was invited," Utahime insisted. "You and Geto barged into the room and demanded to join us."

"We didn't want to be left out! How rude of you!"

"You-You stole the alcohol bottle right out of my hand and took a huge swig!"

Gojo wrinkled his face. "It was disgusting. I don't know why you bothered buying something so cheap."

"We were mixing it with juice," Utahime snapped, "but your dumb ass insisted you could handle it without mixer."

Geto shook his head. "He couldn't. Satoru was drunk in thirty minutes." He brushed his fingers through Gojo's hair over his sunglasses, chuckling to himself. "All that power, and he was such a lightweight. He passed out in Utahime's lap an hour into us playing a drinking game – had his arms wrapped around her middle and wouldn't let go, drooling all over her legs."

"Oh, I remember that," Mei Mei laughed. "Gojo clung to you the entire night. He kept trying to stand up, but he could barely walk, so you had to hold his hand so he'd stay sitting beside you. He whined about things being dizzy so you made him lay down and played with his hair and sang to him until he fell asleep." She propped her chin in her hand, holding a cup of sake in her other hand. "It was very cute."

"It was annoying ," Utahime corrected.

"And miserable," Gojo sighed. "Utahime finally let me hold her and even took care of me, and I couldn't remember a thing."

"Not to mention he woke up with a killer hangover," Geto added with a laugh. "Sick as shit and complaining about every little thing. Shoko and I had to tell Yaga that you had the flu so you could sleep all day."

"All because Utahime took advantage of my innocence," Gojo huffed.

"I did not–" Utahime harrumphed and curled in on herself, finishing the rest of her beer. "You did that on your own."

Yuta eyed the proffered cup of sake still in Gojo's hand. "Maybe it's better if I don't drink…"

"Nonsense," Gojo insisted, shoving the cup into his hand. "Live a little."

Nanako beamed up at him. "We'll take care of you."

Geto cleared his throat as he poured himself a small cup as well. "We won't let you drink enough to get drunk. You'll be okay. It's all about moderation, something Gojo's never heard of and Utahime has struggled with when it comes to drinking."

Sighing to himself, Yuta sniffed the cup and made a face, scrunching up his brow, clearly unused to the smell. Mai rolled her eyes, holding out a cup for Geto to fill, and then promptly shot the entire thing back in one go, far too practiced. When Utahime looked at her, she just held out the cup for another pour and set it down on the table.

Yuta looked a little awed by the ease in which she'd taken the drink and maybe a little wary. Taking a deep breath, he focused on the cup in his hand and then lifted it to his lips, taking a far more hesitant drink than Mai. He swallowed thickly, and a shudder ran through his body. Once he was done, he stuck out his tongue and coughed. Both Gojo and Geto laughed at the reaction, Nanako patting him on the back sympathetically.

"Melodramatic baby," Mai huffed, not meanly. "It's not that bad."

"I just–" Yuta coughed again, setting the empty cup down. "I wasn't expecting it to taste like that."

"You might need to take an approach similar to Gojo – add a bit of honey, maybe some ginger," Geto suggested. Utahime knew from experience that hot sake with those touches was delicious, and it was most definitely something Gojo would do to tolerate the taste of alcohol. The amount of honey he added to his tea was slightly concerning.

Yuta smiled awkwardly. "I'm good for now, thank you."

"Can I have some?" Mimiko asked. "I want to try that."

Geto gave his girls a look. "Just a little, okay?"

"Come now, Geto," Mei Mei teased. "What was all that talk about living a little? They're teenage girls. They deserve the chance to behave a little badly."

"That was Gojo talking, if I recall," Geto pointed out, even as he poured two smaller cups of sake for Nanako and Mimiko to taste, adding honey to it for them.

Nanako let go of Yuta so she could take the cup, thanking Geto, the two sisters leaning in conspiratorally to sniff and sip on the alcohol. Yuta's shoulders dropped, though he did smile at them. Mai flicked him in the arm, and he turned back to her, picking up his chopsticks and using them to steal a gyoza from her plate before she could stop him. He dropped it into his mouth, grinning around the food, while she narrowed her eyes at him.

Utahime couldn't help the warmth that seeped into her chest as she watched them interact with each other. This was what she'd been talking about – the four of them behaving like normal teenagers while the adults spoke casually around them. She could actually smile and laugh, something she couldn't remember doing for so long. Even if it was a false sense of peace, she clung to it, desperate to experience it for longer.

At some point, Geto turned on some music as he cleared the table, shooing Yuta from helping him. Utahime was properly buzzed herself, but that didn't stop her from clambering to her knees to help him, stacking the empty dishes into a pile. He smiled at her across the table, his hand brushes against hers as she passed them over to him, and she blushed, blaming it on the three beers and shot of sake she'd had moments before. When he left the room with the plates, she sat back down beside Gojo, feeling a little warm and dizzy, but not in a bad way.

"Ah, I remember this song," Gojo piped up. "You used to sing it all the time."

"And dance," Mei Mei added. "It didn't matter where we were – you were always singing and dancing."

"She has a beautiful voice," Yuta said, a bit pink in the face after the three drinks he'd endured. "I heard it when she sang to Hifumi and Jiro. It was really… It was really nice."

Gojo smiled languidly, wrapping his arms around Utahime and pulling her practically into his lap. "You got lucky then. Not many people have heard Utahime sing in truth – with her cursed energy, that is. It's something truly special."

"I'm a bit jealous," Geto admitted as he walked back into the room empty-handed. "I've not experienced that fully yet."

"Just a little," Gojo said with a wink.

Utahime squirmed in Gojo's grip, irritated by the suggestive implication. Luckily, aside from Mei Mei, none of the kids seemed to notice, the comment going over their heads. "At any rate," she said stiffly. "It's getting very late. I think it's best if we finish cleaning up and retire for the evening."

"Boring!" Nanako exclaimed. "I'm not tired!"

Mei Mei clicked her tongue. "Oh, to be young."

"You're free to stay up as long as you want," Geto said.

"Come back to game with us!" Nanako said, pulling on Yuta's arm and nearly dragging him to the ground. "You never do that, but now you don't have an excuse." She peered around him to connect eyes with Mai. "Make him come."

Geto coughed, seeming to choke on something, while Gojo bit back a smile.

"We could do makeovers," Mimiko added.

A grin tugged at Mai's lips as she stared Yuta down. "Oh, that sounds delightful ."

While the three girls giggled amongst each other, the twins falling to the ground in a fit of laughter, Yuta dropped his shoulders in defeat and sighed. Despite his obvious wariness over spending more time with them, he didn't seem irritated or upset. Geto watched the girls carefully, a little frown on his face. They might have snuck a few more sips of alcohol when the adults were talking, hence their flushed faces and giggling nature.

"I'll make sure they get to bed," Yuta said as they all prepared to leave.

Geto patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you."

Mei Mei hummed as she brushed her hair over her shoulders. "Such a considerate boy. We never could've trusted you two at his age. I always had to smack Gojo away from Utahime when she was drunk. He was like a dog in a rut, hoping he could get an in with her."

Folding her arms across her chest, Utahime scowled at the woman who had once been one of her closest friends. Having such memories thrown back into her face was embarrassing, especially when she could remember snippets here and there. On top of being aggressive and rowdy when she was drunk, Utahime could sometimes be…sweeter, even to Gojo, who annoyed the hell out of her. Petting him on the head, leaning up against him, one time even kissing him on the cheek, handsy little touches here and there.

"Where are you sleeping, senpai?" Gojo would ask, sweetly, teasingly, suggestively. At the point of drunk, she could never quite tell, giggling and toppling over as she shred her jacket and tried to get comfortable wherever she was.

Thankfully, she was not that drunk now, just a pleasant buzz remaining as they bid everyone goodnight. There was only a bit of sake left in the bottle, Geto holding it as they walked down the dark corridor. She stumbled once, bumping into Gojo, and snorted when he pressed a finger to his grinning lips. By the time they made it back to a room – Gojo's room, she thought distantly – she was buzzing with energy, the normalcy of the night and alcohol propelling her into an unusually good mood.

"There she is," Gojo teased, pulling her into the room. "The sweet girl."

"Oh hush," Utahime huffed. "Don't ruin the mood."

"Mei Mei wasn't wrong," Geto pointed out. "You always had two versions of drunk – either mean or sweet – and Gojo usually got the former." He closed the door. "Granted, that was his own fault."

"I could be nice too," Utahime insisted.

Geto brought the bottle of sake to his lips. "Mm, you could be, sometimes."

She pulled away from Gojo, moving gracefully across the room to pluck the bottle from Geto's hand. He let her take it, smiling at her indulgently as she took a sip, her eyes never leaving his. As far as she could remember, whereas she had gotten messy and Shoko lost her filter, Geto remained somewhat introspective when he drank. Maybe he was a moody drunk, growing quiet as his thoughts took over, content to watch them act out.

He seemed perfectly happy to watch her now as she danced around the room, even allowing Gojo to take her by the hand and spin her around again. There wasn't any music playing, but that didn't affect Utahime. Even buzzed, she was graceful, kicking off her shoes and falling into an old dance she was familiar with. She'd trained for years, even before she'd gone to school, the dance ingrained into her soul. She did most of the work, Gojo following her lead, lively and happy. His sunglasses slid down, revealing his bright blue eyes glimmering with excitement.

Utahime's stomach did a little flip. He was happy . Gods, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like this, so light on her feet, as if she was floating on a cloud. Even her cursed energy seemed to hum in response, building up inside her to the point that she couldn't contain it within herself.

Gojo spun her around and released her, Utahime laughing as she stepped gracefully across the room, until she found herself captured in Geto's waiting hands. And in one fluid moment, she went from dancing to standing on her tip toes to kiss him, as if it just another step in the routine.

Geto sighed against her lips, cupping her face in one of his hands. "Someone's feeling energetic."

"So much for retiring for the evening," Gojo teased, coming up behind her.

"Don't be mean," Utahime said, pulling back away from Geto.

"We're not," Geto replied. "Not yet at least."

Before she could say anything, he dove in for another kiss, capturing her lips more aggressively. Gojo took the bottle of sake from her before she could drop it, allowing her to sink one hand into Geto's hair while gripping the front of his yukata with the other. She jolted when she felt one of Gojo's hand rest on her hip to pull her back against him, shivering with pleasure when he pressed his lips on her neck and nipped at the skin.

It felt good, pressed in between them, their larger bodies securing her in place. Warm, safe, wanted .

And she couldn't deny it anymore – she wanted them too.

"So beautiful," Geto murmured, "so soft."

She wasn't always soft, too rough and too harsh at times to be the perfect sorcerer, but she melted between them. Their combined touch turned her into warm putty, something they could shape into whatever they wanted her to be. She would have fought them on it before, both of them, but she didn't want to fight them now. She wanted to move with them, as fluid as her own cursed energy ran, as graceful as a dance, each step in the motion one after the other.

As she kissed Geto, Gojo did the work of undressing her. He took great joy in it, unraveling her like a present, first ridding her of the obi around her middle and then opening up her kimono to reveal the protective undergarment beneath. He could've complained about her many layers once again, but he seemed more focused on the task at hand, peeling off her clothes a bit at a time. He had to drag her hands away from Geto in order to slide the garments down her arms, tossing them to the side when he was done.

When she was just in her thin slip and underwear, Gojo hummed in appreciation. "You look good in the clothes we got you."

It had irritated her in the beginning and especially the day the clan representatives arrived, but there was something about them dressing her in clothes they'd chosen specifically for her that scratched a pleasant itch. At first, she had been annoyed, thinking they saw her as something like a doll, but it felt stronger than that now. They were showing her off – they were proud of her – they wanted everyone to know she was a cut above the rest. They didn't force her to stand three steps back, keep her head down and her mouth shut, demure and silent unless spoken to.

With just a simple outfit, the second anyone here looked at her, they knew she was different.

She liked it – that hint of power, the air of pride, the burst of confidence. She'd never experienced anything like it before, always forced to lessen herself before others.

Pulling away from Geto, Utahime sucked in a breath, then twisted around, just enough so she could kiss Gojo. He lips quirked upward into a smile, always eager for attention. Her heart skipped a beat, a moment a insecurity flashing through her, but then Geto was touching her, skimming his hands over her body. He pulled down on the straps of her slip, kissing her shoulder and done her clavicle. It exhilirated her, the feeling of them both, of kissing them both one after another, the two working in sync to make her come undone.

Geto used his hands on her to turn her around fully, peeling her straps down so that the slip pooled to the floor at her feet, leaving her in just her underwear and bra. He kissed her other shoulder, sliding one hand over her stomach to hold her close as she and Gojo kissed, then moved his way up her neck to nibble on her ear. "I want you," he breathed out, a straightforward admission that made her throb between her legs. "Let me have you first."

It wasn't a question, but she knew she could tell him no and he'd oblige, no matter how hard he was. His erection pressed against her ass, and she rolled her hips back, grinding over him so slowly that he hissed in a breath through his teeth. She wanted him, everything in her body screaming to give herself over. Still, she had to keep some dignity about her. She wasn't about to just bend over and let him fuck her in front of Gojo.

"Yes." Utahime pulled her lips from Gojo, her gaze half-lidded as she peered at Geto through the reflection in his sunglasses. It was like she could look them both in the eyes at the same time, making sure they were paying attention and listening to he completely. "Get me ready first?"

Geto smiled and kissed her just behind the ear. "Of course. I don't want to hurt you." The tenderness in his voice, combined with the reverant way he held her in his hands, made her heart skip a beat. "Satoru."

Gojo chuckled, already sinking to his knees. "I know, I know."

"He's not as skilled as me," Geto said, slipping his fingertips under the band of her underwear, "but he'll get the job done."

As Gojo peeled her underwear down her legs, Utahime squirmed. "Wait, you're both still–"

"Patience," Geto told her, nipping at her ear like a reprimand.

Utahime let out a huff. The irony of Geto demanding patience from her when he was the one grinding his dick against her ass and Gojo was kissing his way up her inner thighs, nibbling as he went. With one of his arms wrapped around her waist, he cupped one of her breasts in his other hand, pinching her nipple through the bra. She squeaked, but whether it was due to him pinching her or Gojo hiking one of her legs over his shoulder, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that the moment Gojo's tongue connected with her cunt, pleasure burst inside of her, like a bolt of lightning.

Honestly, she didn't care if Gojo wasn't as good at eating her out as Geto. It still felt incredible, his tongue licking up her slit until it landed on her clit, his lips focusing on the small bundle of nerves. The sensetion was electric, her body tensing up and her foot bouncing against his back. He sucked and licked her enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around and under her to keep her in place. It felt like her other foot was barely touching the ground, the two men lifting her up so that she was practically seated on Gojo's face.

It was overwhelming, arousal lapping at the edges of her mind so hotly that she couldn't think straight. She twisted her neck to nuzzle the side of her face against Geto's chest, whimpering, "Kiss–" before a moan cut her short. Sucking on her clit again, Gojo pressed a finger into her, sliding it in and out of her to carefully stretch her out. She was so wet that it didn't take him long to add a second finger, scissoring them inside her and making her entire body shake.

Geto did as she asked, slipping his hand up her chest to cup her underneath her jaw and bringing his lips back down to hers for a searing kiss. He dropped his other down between their legs, pushing on Gojo's head slightly so that his mouth was directed to her cunt. She whined as he probed her hole with his tongue, slipping it inside her in place of his fingers, and then jolted when Geto's fingers rubbed her slick clit.

It didn't take long after that, their combined touch sending her over the edge so hard that she began to rut against Gojo's face. His fingers dug harshly into her flesh, sure to leave marks. No matter how much she cried and writhed in their grasp, Geto didn't let her go, keeping her lips pressed against his so that he could swallow every sound she made. She couldn't get away from them, forced to ride out her orgasm as they continued the onslaught against her body, until she grew lax and sank against them both.

Gojo dragged his tongue all the way up Utahime's slit until it brushed against Geto's fingers. He didn't stop there, sucking two of Geto's fingers into his mouth, licking the taste of her slick off him. He hallowed out his cheeks, sucking hard as he gazed up at them both, the pupils of his eyes blown out so much with lust that they threatened to overshadow the blue of his eyes. The sight was enough to make her cunt flutter with an aftershock of pleasure, her walls clenching around nothing.

"Such a good boy," Geto chuckled, low and deep in his chest, his lips brushing against Utahime's as he spoke. "Tell Satoru he did a good job. He just wants to take special care of you."

With a shaky hand, Utahime reached down to run her fingers through Gojo's hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into her palm, shivering when she managed to murmur, "So good."

"You think she's ready?" Geto asked.

"Yeah," Gojo rasped, his voice raw with desire. He stood up, already undoing his clothes to slide his yukata off, swaggering backward to the bed.

Geto kissed her cheek. "Go on then."

With a gentle nudge, he pushed her forward. Her legs were shaky as she practically stumbled into Gojo's arms, letting him catch her and drag her to the bed with him. She did her best to help him undress, but it was difficult, especially when he couldn't stop himself from kissing her. He stayed standing just long enough to rid himself of his underwear, and then he was on the bed, pulling her down with him. He undid her bra, snapping the straps before pulling it off, and then heaved her fully into his lap, bringing her chest to his face. She moaned as he lathed her tits with attention, licking and sucking just the way he knew she liked.

His cock was heavy and hard between them, pressed up against their abdomens, leaking precum. She was half in mind to lift herself up just enough to sink down onto him. She was so wet that it wouldn't have taken anything, but his hold on her kept her in place. He shifted further onto the bed, lifting his head from her chest to kiss her again, his lips glancing off the corner of hers. He was sloppy, frantic, his cursed energy spiking all around them. Was he nervous? Excited?

"Satoru and I have shared partners before."

But they weren't her.

It must have taken him a lot of self-restraint to allow this to happen.

Sensing his cursed energy building to a crescendo, Utahime laid her hands on his face and changed the pace, moving her lips against his methodically. She forced him to slow down, go at her pace, until his heart began to slow down and his cursed energy flowed more evenly. She smiled against his lips, murmuring her thanks, and he let out a sigh. They continued like that for a moment until she felt Geto's presence behind her, no longer able to be ignored. His hands slid over her hips and then slightly under, lifting her ass so that she was on her knees, stradling Gojo's lap, with her back arched into a dip and her chest pressed against Gojo's.

"You two make a pretty pair," Geto surmised, slowly dragging his fingers up and down her skin.

Utahime parted from Gojo's lips, looking over her shoulders to capture Geto's eyes. " Suguru ."

He sucked in a breath. "Shit."

She kept her eyes on his as he grasped his cock and dragged the tip between her folds. He would be able to feel how wet she was for him, a combination of her and Gojo's arousal. She couldn't see him from this angle, but she could feel him, the press of the head of his cock against her cunt. When he pushed himself inside just an inch, she sucked in a gasp. Already, she could tell that he was thicker than Gojo, stretching her walls out further than ever before. She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry out as he inched his way further into her, though tears did burn at the corners of her eyes.

"Fuck," Geto swore. "Distract her, Satoru. Kiss her."

Utahime didn't want to look away from him, but perhaps it was for the best. Gojo cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking over her scar, and brought her back to him, kissing her to swallow the cry that managed to escape her as Geto pushed his cock into her the rest of her way. She felt so deliciously full, a wild and restless desire exploding inside of her, and even though it ached, she pressed her hips back against him, willing him to move.

Geto choked on a laugh. "Hime, please."

She could tell he wanted to be careful at first, perhaps sensing just how much his cock was straining her cunt, but she couldn't handle waiting any longer. The same frantic energy that had coursed through Gojo threatened to shatter her now, and she whined as Geto slowly pulled out of her and then pushed himself back in. She found Gojo's hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing as Geto rocked back and forth into her, only to yelp when he snapped hips forward and filled her to the brim suddenly.

"Fuck, that's–" Geto's fingers dug into her hips. That was the only warning she received before he began to properly fuck her. He thrusted into her without abandon, the sound of skin slapping against skin and sloppy wet noises echoing in Utahime's ears over the rush of blood thumping. It felt so fucking good that Utahime thought she might scream – or maybe pass out, pleasure burning through her so hotly that she didn't even know if she'd be able to get off or if she was already cumming.

It was like she'd been waiting for this moment since arriving – a total completion – and she hadn't even known it until now.

With every thrust into her cunt, Geto's cock shoved her roughly against Gojo, his own cock sliding between their lower abdomens. He moaned, pulling himself from her lips to drop his head back onto the bed. She kissed his neck, biting on the skin as if trying to mate him, mark him as her own. His hands found themselves on her ass, gripping a handful and dragging her over his cock as Geto pumped in and out of her.

She'd thought she had been overwhelmed before, but now she was truly losing it. Her clit brushed against Gojo's cock, stimulating her in a way that made her feel out of it, while Geto's cock continued to barrage her cunt, keeping her in the present. It grew to be too much, and before she realized it, she was cumming in truth, crying out an assortment of swears and delirious babble, gushing on Geto's cock so much that it dripped out and smeared against Gojo's body, soaking his skin even further.

She wasn't even down from the high of her orgasm when Geto grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her up, forcing her to prop herself up Gojo's chest. Her tits bounced with each rough thrust, almost painfully, until Gojo grasped them in his palms, squeezing and tweaking her nipples. She gazed down at him, her visision blurry from tears, taking in his flushed face and the dazed look in his eyes as he panted heavily.

"Perfect girl," Geto murmured. "Taking my cock so well." An aftershock of pleasure rippled through her, causing her walls to clench around him, and he groaned. "Does it feel good?"

"So-So goo-good–" Utahime could barely speak, choking on a sob as she forced the words out. Better than good. Better than great. Better than amazing. Gojo's cock was leaking even more. With Geto holding her up by her hair and hips, she reached down between them and wrapped a hand around his cock. He moaned so sweetly, closing his eyes. She let Geto's thrusts choose the pace, her hand slipping up and down Gojo's cock every time Geto shoved himself deep inside her. Gojo was shaking and she realized with a burst of excitement that he was about to get off.

"Suguru," Gojo gasped. "Cum inside her."

Geto swore, snapping into her harder than before. "Is that what you want, Utahime? Do you want me to cum inside you?"

The idea that she could have any control, any say, anything at all, and they would do it, was so mindblowing that she almost came on the spot. Gojo was going to cum in her hand, and Geto–

"Yes," she cried out, burning from the inside out.

He didn't take long after that, fucking her so fast and hard that Utahime could've sworn she saw black spots burst in her vision. He let go of her hair, shoving her face into Gojo's chest, and used both of his hands to drag her back harshly onto his cock until finally he came with a loud groan. He spent himself inside of her, the warm sensation of his mess flooding her with a new wave of arousal. She keened, spasming and writhing violently, so out of it that she didn't even realize Gojo had gotten off as well, his cum seeping over her palm and onto his chest.

Even though she was thoroughly exhausted, a total mess covered in her own slick and their cum, as she lay between them, on top of Gojo with Geto's chest pressed over top of her back, Utahime had never felt more powerful in her life. As she struggled to catch her breath, she thought she could sense their cursed energies mingling together, maybe even see them. Geto's dark and Gojo's light, and then there was hers, threading gracefully between them, as if filling the gaps where theirs fought with each other.

Someone was trembling, but she couldn't tell if it was her or one of the boys. Gojo's free hand found Geto's, grasping onto him tightly to keep him in place, keep him still inside her, as they all came down from their combined highs. She sank further into Gojo, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, allowing Geto to lay further on top of her. It didn't seem to bother Gojo, his heart beating powerfully against her chest. She could feel Geto's heart against her back. A back and forth rhythm, in and out, up and down.

Finally, Geto lifted himself up just enough to brush her messy hair over her shoulders so he could kiss the back of her neck. She shuddered when he finally pulled himself out of her, dragging some of his mess with him to drip on Gojo's thighs. It was only then that she realized she was the one shaking, little tremors rushing through her body.

"Gently," Geto cautioned, as Gojo guided her onto the bed.

Once she was laying down, the air cool against her sweaty hot skin, Gojo brushed her bangs out of her face. Utahime blinked at him, completely overwhelmed. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but she couldn't, only a whimper escaping her as another tremor coursed through her body. Pleasure, and a little bit of pain – both throbbed between her legs, a reminder of what was missing.

"Hey," Gojo murmured, a lopsided smile on his face. "You cryin'?"

She was. She just didn't know why. It was like every emotion had hit her at once – a solid punch to her gut. Weak as she was, she still reached out frantically, searching the air until she managed to grab Geto's wrist. "Don't– Don't go."

"I won't," Geto reassured her, laying a hand on her hip.

Gojo cupped her face and kissed her. "Sweet girl, taking care of us both." He nuzzled noses with her. "I got you next time, yeah? 'Cause you're ours." She kissed him back, some part of her trying to distract herself or maybe doze off, anything to stop the swirl of emotions coursing through her. She couldn't tell if they were all good. It wasn't good enough for him though, and Gojo bit on her lip, not enough to hurt, just enough to get her attention. "Say it, Hime – you're ours."

"I'm–" Utahime took a shaky breath. "I'm yours."

He beamed and kissed her on the forehead. "Yeah, you are."

What had she done?

And even worse, why did it feel so good to admit that out loud?

Chapter 32

Notes:

I hope you didn't think the smut was over because now that they've finally reached this point, the boys are gonna be insatiable. Lmao So maybe they're manipulating her with that bomb ass dick... 😋

Chapter Text

Utahime had fallen into a deep sleep not long after Geto had climbed into bed. Gojo had pulled a blanket over her, sleeping in the middle of the bed simply because she whined when they tried to move her again. She was sore between her legs and tired as well. All she wanted to do was sleep. One second, she had been listening to Gojo and Geto speaking to each other in low murmurs while Gojo brushed his fingers through her hair, and the next she was out of it, drifting into a hard slumber, all the energy drained from her.

When she woke the following morning, she was more than a little disoriented. Gojo's room had become a more familiar sight than her own these days, but it was still dark as she came to, a thick curtain blocking any sunlight from peeking inside and waking the occupants. At first, she wasn't sure what had woken her, and then she felt it, the dip in the bed as something shifted beside her and then a light gasp.

One of Gojo's hands slid over her hips, turning toward him, and he breathed out in a faint whine, "Hime."

Utahime's face flushed. "Oh."

Propped up on one elbow on his side, Geto grinned sheepishly over Gojo's shoulder. "Sorry, he's incapable of being quiet."

His hair was completely undone, dark strands falling in his face and swaying with each forward thrust. Utahime was frozen under the cover, clutching her hands together as she watched the scene play out before her, utterly transfixed. The blankets had been pushed down past their hips so that only Utahime was covered, though her front was exposed. Gojo was still completely bare, his abs fluttering and tense. His head was pulled back to expose his throat, Geto grasping a fistful of his hair in one hand and holding onto Gojo's hip with the other.

Though she couldn't see from her position lying in front of Gojo in bed, she could hear the slapping of skin against skin whenever Geto pumped his hips forward, Gojo's entire body jolting. His mouth hung open as he panted desperately, his skin flushed, but his eyes were locked on her as he took Geto's cock into him. Her eyes traveled down his throat and chest to his hard cock. It bounced against his stomach with every thrust, weeping pre-cum so much that there was already a spot on the bed and smeared on his abs.

It was, quite frankly, the most unsettling erotic sight she'd ever seen.

She couldn't believe it was happening right in front of her while she was lying in bed with them. While she had seen them kiss and Gojo had gone down on her and sucked her juices off Geto's fingers, a part of her had expected them to keep this part of their relationship away from her, or at least for themselves. If they were intimate with each other, she imagined herself being sat in the corner of the room, hands folded almost politely in her lap, forced to squirm in the chair as Geto or Gojo fucked the other. She pictured herself removed, a distant witness to their relationship, privy but not a part of it.

While they shared her with each other, Utahime hadn't expected them to share each other with her.

"He couldn't stand sleeping in bed with us both," Geto told her, his voice strained as he fucked Gojo. "It was driving him up a wall and he kept wanting to bother you – trying to fondle and kiss you – but I told him you needed more rest." His smile quirked into a lopsided grin. "This was the best way to occupy him, but someone couldn't stay quiet."

"Feels good," Gojo slurred. "Need you, Hime."

"Poor boy," Geto chuckled, "so hard and leaking everywhere." He nipped at Gojo's ear. "You're making such a mess."

Gojo gritted his teeth, looking like he wanted to bite. "Wouldn't be making a mess if I was inside her."

"That depends." Geto's eyes flickered to Utahime's just over the side of Gojo's head. "Do you think you can take him so soon? I know how sore you were after last night."

"I…" Utahime swallowed. Despite the hint of soreness that lingered, her cunt was already throbbing in pleasure. That same madness from last night threatened to take over her, but it was impossible for her to ignore. She'd never seen Gojo rendered so helpless and vulnerable. He reached out for her desperately, his fingers slipping over her skin as he attempted to grasp her and pull her closer to him. "I don't…"

"Maybe if you ask nicely, Satoru," Geto whispered in his ear. "She likes it when you're polite."

Gojo breathed out shakily, his voice scraped out raw as he pleaded, "Please…"

That single word had a profound effect on her, sending a bolt of arousal running down her spine. She unclenched her fingers and unfolded her arms, allowing Gojo to grab her and pull her chest flush against his. Geto let go of his hair so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent and moaning as his cock was pressed between their bodies. She forced his head back, cupping his face in her hands and pressing her lips against his. He whined into her mouth, his body bumping against hers as Geto continued to fuck him.

One of his hands slid down between them to grasp his own cock so he could pump it and guide it between her legs. The moment the tip pressed against her hole, she thought Gojo might sob in relief, even as she stiffened against him.

"I told him not to touch himself until you woke up," Geto told her in a low, conspiratorial tone. "I wanted you to see."

"See what?" Utahime asked in a whisper. "What you can do to him?"

Geto's hand left its place on Gojo's hip to brush her bangs out of her face. "What we can do to him." He traced the scar, a known path to her but still unfamiliar to him. "I've never heard him sound so needy and desperate before." He smirked. "It's like he'd do anything to have you, totally out of his mind with desire. You like it, don't you?"

She did like it. She liked it a lot. Her hips rocked up and down, slowly taking in the head of Gojo's cock, but he didn't thrust into her just yet. She kept on hand on his hip, the spot where Geto's hand had just been, warning him to stay still as she teased him with her entrance. He swore desperately, a shiny film of tears making his eyes burn even brighter. He felt so good like this, just a taste of what was to come. She grew wetter with each roll, sliding him in further every time.

"You can sense it throughout the whole place when he's like this," Geto goaded. He knew how to talk. He was good at it, lulling Utahime forward. "I knew whenever he was fucking you. I could feel it."

"What did you do?" Utahime asked.

Geto gave her a playful look. "What do you think I did?"

Utahime bit her lip. "Were you angry?"

"Livid," Geto confirmed. "Infuriated."

She parted her lips. "I–"

"All I could do was take my cock in my hand and get myself off to the image of you two together," Geto groaned, rolling his hips against Gojo's ass. "Whether he was fucking you against the wall because he was impatient, on the bed so he could toss you around, on the floor like an animal. I knew how much he wanted you."

Utahime gasped, and Gojo slid into her a little more.

"Please, Utahime," Gojo practically whimpered, his entire body shaking from the effort of controlling himself.

Swallowing, Utahime measured a dark gaze on Geto again. "Fuck him into me, Suguru."

"As you wish," Geto replied, an unspoken promise in his smile.

Utahime relaxed her hold on Gojo's hip, forcing her body to go lax. Geto fucked into Gojo harder, making him gasp and inch further into her. She eased her body down on the bed, allowing Gojo to wrap his arms around her so it made it easier for his dick to edge deeper inside of her cunt. With every thrust from Geto, Gojo filled her a little more until finally he was fully sheathed inside of her. He moaned with a deep pleasure in his chest, Utahime gasped whenever Gojo's dick attempted to puncture her deeper and hit a wall.

"How does she feel?" Geto asked.

"Like a dream," Gojo moaned. "Warm, tight, wet."

"Can you feel my cum still inside of her?" Geto pressed. Gojo groaned, fucking into her on his own, sliding one of his hands down the small of her back to push her closer to him. "You should fill her up too. That way she has to spend the entire day walking around with both of our messes inside of her."

Utahime flushed, heady with pleasure and embarrassment. "I'll-I'll clean myself out–"

"No, you won't," Geto reprimanded, slapping her hip and making her squeeze Gojo's cock even tighter. "You said it yourself last night. You're ours." His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them before. He was lost in his own desire, Gojo swept out to tide with him. "If you clean yourself, we'll just have to fill you up again."

The threat shouldn't be as pleasurable as it was. Before all of this, before them, Utahime would've told herself that she was a logical woman with a logical head on her shoulders. She wouldn't fall victim to something as basic and primal as them coming inside of her like animals. She couldn't understand why it got to her so much now, Geto's words circumventing the logical side of her brain and shooting directly to her cunt, making her flutter around Gojo's dick.

"You like it," Geto said. "You want it."

"Please, I can't hold back much longer," Gojo panted.

"No, don't just give her what she wants," Geto told him sharply, "not if she won't admit it."

Both Utahime and Gojo whined in unison. They were both so close, pleasure edging her so intensely that she thought she might cry if she didn't come soon, but she knew that if she did, Geto would find a way to punish them. She didn't know what that would entail, not now that things had shifted between them, but she didn't want to find out.

Cupping Gojo's face again, Utahime kissed him and begged, "Make me come, Satoru, and then come inside me. I need it."

The last thread of Gojo's restraint snapped. His grip on her tightened and he fucked into her hard and fast, sending her hurdling to the edge so fast that she barely had time to comprehend it. The orgasm hit her like a truck, but instead of growing taut like she sometimes did, she went wild, rutting her hips against Gojo as she cried out. All she could do was keen as Gojo came and spilled inside of her. He had to bite down on her shoulder, his body tensing up as he kept himself buried inside of her as deeply as he could.

As she came down from the high of their combined orgasms, Utahime listened in a daze as Geto came to his own finish, grunting and growling as he spent himself inside of Gojo. She could feel it, Gojo's cock still gliding through her cunt with every harsh thrust. He hissed at the oversensitive feeling, but he didn't pull out of her, keeping her in place until Geto pulled out of his ass and collapsed in bed beside him.

"Fuck." His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath. When Gojo let out a breathless laugh, Geto slapped his side, uncaring where he hit him. "Stop it, you needy bastard. I told you not to wake her up."

"I couldn't help it," Gojo insisted. "She looked so cute like that, sleeping in bed with us, completely naked, and your cum leaking out of her. That shit got me so hard."

If Utahime hadn't already been flushed from their fucking, she would've blushed horribly. Instead, all she could do was bury her face in her hands, hiding her tits with her elbows and hair. "Shut-Shut up!"

"Brat," Geto hummed, but there was a certain fondness in the word.

"Besides, it was only fair," Gojo pointed out, glancing back at him over his shoulder. "You got to fuck her last night."

"You could've waited a little longer," Geto said. "Imagine how sore she's going to be now."

Gojo smiled wolfishly. "Imagine how sore she's gonna be when we fuck her at the same time."

Geto said nothing to deny he hadn't imagined that already, and Utahime couldn't dare speak. If she allowed her mind to even stray toward that thought, she'd break into a blabbering, anxious mess. They must have thought about it though, probably even talked about it while getting each other off, the idea of both their cocks being in at at the same time, one in her cunt and one in her ass.

Yeah, no, she could not think about that. She wasn't their little sex doll to play with.

Gojo pulled out of her, careful since she was so sensitive, and then flopped onto his back. "Shit, what do we have to do today? Please tell me we can just lay about."

Utahime pulled her hands down from her eyes. "I want a bath." When Gojo peered at her out of the corners of his eyes, she swiftly added, "Alone."

"So cruel," Gojo sighed dramatically.

"It's Saturday, so our schedule isn't as tightly packed as it normally would be," Geto said thoughtfully.

Utahime arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Cult leaders get weekends off?"

"The perk of making our own schedules," Geto shot back playfully. She probably shouldn't rile them up like this while lying naked in bed with them after they'd just fucked, but she couldn't stop herself. Fortunately, judging by the smirk on his face, he didn't mind. He liked her fire, after all. They both did. "There are no classes, is what I meant. You have more free time, so you're free to relax. Take a long, luxurious, hot bath. I'll send for some extra amenities for you."

"No, you don't have to–"

"I want to, Utahime," Geto cut in, leveling her with a serious gaze. "You took care of us both so well. You deserve it."

Utahime bit her lip, choosing to simply give in and accept his generosity. She didn't like thinking about Geto sending word for a servant to bring items meant for pampering to Gojo's room, only to find Utahime there instead. It was one thing for everyone to know that she and Gojo were a thing, but add Geto into the mix, and she… Well, she wasn't embarrassed or ashamed. She just felt weird. The servants already eyed her differently because of how open Gojo was with their intimacy. If Geto was the same…

Traitor, a voice hissed in the back of her mind. You're nothing but a whore traitor.

Geto clambered out of the bed first. Even though it was ridiculous considering what they'd done together in the past day, she still averted her eyes as he walked around the room to pick up his robes. He threw them over his shoulders, haphazardly tying the sash around his waist to only partially close it, leaving most of his chest exposed. After tossing Gojo an expectant look, Gojo huffed and sat up as well, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and raising his arms above his head to stretch. It was hard not to watch the way his back muscles shifted, his strength shimmering after he'd whined for her.

It really wouldn't take much for both of them to manhandle her the way they wanted. Whatever power they gave her was little more than a farce meant to please her.

"We do have some business we need to take care of at some point today," Geto declared.

Gojo grunted. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

Utahime sat up, clutching the blanket over her chest as if she could hold onto any modesty after everything. "What is it?" When both men shared a glance with each other, she huffed. "Seriously, you can stick your dicks in me but you can't tell me shit about what's going on? What the hell am I going to do? Who am I going to tell? The only people I speak with are already in your inner circle."

Shrugging his shoulders, Gojo admitted, "She's right, you know."

"I know, it's just…" Geto sighed. "There are some things we don't even tell them."

Fixing him with a glare, Utahime stated, "I'm not just going to be some toy for you to fuck around with while you're off conquering the world. If you want me, you can't leave me in the dark and only feed me bits of information." She frowned, dropping her eyes to the floor. "I feel like a fool. It's embarrassing. One second, I'm on top of the world with you two, and then next I'm floundering in the dark on my own. I feel weak."

Geto stepped forward. "No, that's not–" He hesitated, perhaps finally sensing his own hypocrisy. "We don't want to cause you any more stress than we already do – and I know, we cause a lot." He connected eyes with Gojo, who nodded, and then let out a sigh. "You're right though. If we want you to be on our side – if we want you to understand what we're doing and where we're coming from – we need to be more open with you."

"And honest," Utahime added quickly. "I know your games. You can be open but not honest or vice versa."

"Clever girl," Geto chuckled.

"I'm serious," Utahime said. "The last time you two plotted something, you sent Mai and Yuta to deal with the entire Zen'in clan and then brought Megumi here." Her hands clenched tighter around the blanket covering her. "It scared me. I worry about them as if they were my students. I don't want to be blindsided again."

Geto sat down on the bed beside her, laying a hand on her thigh over the blanket. "We're in the final talks with the clans. Things are slow-going and tense, but… It's looking promising. I have high hopes. We want to negotiate a peace with them."

Utahime nodded. "They have a lot of powerful sorcerers in their ranks."

"And young ones as well that aren't being given the same education and respect they deserve," Geto added. "Power is important, yes, but it's not the only thing that should be fostered or cherished." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears, looking over her face. "Sorcerers, despite their strength, are still the minority in the world. However, if the clans were to side with us, we would hold the majority of the power."

"And how would you use that power?" Utahime asked.

Gojo flopped onto his back on the bed, staring up at her. "Geez, Utahime, you are shit at pillowtalk, you know."

Utahime shot him a look. "You can look away all you want from the reality of the situation, but I can't. I've experienced the consequences of another sorcerer's power when I'm too weak to counter it. You haven't."

"And that's exactly why your vision is important to our cause," Geto insisted. "You balance us. We don't want violence. We don't want war. We want to usher in a brighter era."

Gojo popped upright, laying his hands over hers. "We're going to be good. You showed us the importance of encouraging people to be better – to be more than what they were taught to be."

Utahime didn't know how to respond. In the end, all she could murmur was a single, "Okay," and both men smiled. She had a terrible feeling that she'd started something that she couldn't undo, but now that the ball was rolling, there was no stopping it. All she could do was hope that it would lead to something good, something better, and she could tell herself that whatever she had going on with Gojo and Geto wasn't wrong and wouldn't condemn her for the rest of her life.

Notes: