WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

88. Chapter 88

Main Contentthe third wheel's on her last legs

evie_the_butterflea

Summary:

being the closest friend to 2 gorgeous twins has its shortcomings. but with one missing, the other injured, and an apocalypse raging on outside, you're starting to reach your limits. luckily for you, your new-found friends are here to keep you from rolling off the deep end… probably.

aka. you're in a zombie apocalypse with bestie aeefer, searching for bestie loomin. and there's a bunch of other sexy people too. and a weird amount of tunnels.

Chapter 1: fuck tunnels

Notes:

afternoon, fellow fiction enjoyers. and welcome to yet another fic i wrote while chained to my tiny lil desk.

ooowee, this puppy's been sat on for a while. but i've finally found the courage to post her so i hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

the apocalypse started last week.

if you owned a calendar or a working phone or really any sort of paper, that would be a hilarious entry. 'APOCALYPSE BEGINS!' circled in red. no one thinks about the little losses that occur when an apocalypse hits. for starters, missed opportunities for jokes are now one of many sore spots for you. your family calendar that still hangs on your wall that you'll likely never see again is another. no time for packing calendars when they're scratching at your front door and you need to haul ass.

a deep, familiar sigh on your left interrupts your musings. right, aether.

"which inconsiderate asshat greenlit the construction of this long-ass tunnel? i'd like to see the light of day once more, preferably in this lifetime," you grumble.

a solemn 'hmm' sounds off in response. how enlightening.

"on the other hand, there's nothing i appreciate more than the choice of a warm lightbulb colour temperature. 2700K is that sweet spot and yes, i will continue to review this tunnel until you spill those head beans and tell me what's going on up there."

"huh?... oh, it's nothing. just..." aether mumbles.

the pause has you holding your breath. is it-

"just... this is tenbury tunnel, right?"

ah, so that's what this is about.

"indeed, 3 billion miles have passed and we are all still in tenbury tunnel. poor lumine, i don't know how she took this route every morning to get to work. you think they'd send a helicopter with one of those ladder things for her to grab onto, just to add some pizzazz."

finally, a chuckle immerges and all's right with the world. well, not really but aether's got a very sweet laugh so one can dream.

"i'd bet she'd secretly love that. not that the fancy car they'd pick her up in was that bad." he tacks on. and then you both fall silent.

lumine. the elephant in the tunnel. badass lumine who you're 100% sure would survive a nuclear blast with sheer determination and an equally nuclear glare. but also badass lumine with her badass job that would likely send her right into the middle of all this. it had been a week and neither of you had heard anything from her, no call, no helicopter descending from the heavens to pull you out of this infested city.

no other way out now that perth crossing and burnwood bridge had been bombed to hell by the government.

"do you think she's looking for us?"

"i think she's probably busy sorting this all out and knows, despite all our dumbassery, that we make an amazing team. but i also think she's worried out of her mind for us. all the more reason to survive, right?"

"right."

and like a moth flies to a flame, your little exchange of hope invites despair to come and sit on it. there's a scream from far behind you that echoes around the tunnel and through the ears of every person in it. the same thought lights up in each head in response.

maybe... it's not them? someone could have fallen or stubbed their toe or opened a pop-up card-

another scream follows it, possibly within the same second. then a deeper one, then a much younger one. the faces of ghosts surround you, each knowing exactly what's about to happen. almost apologising for the animalistic beasts that they were about to become.

then, sound turns to visual and the impending tsunami of bodies becomes visible through the crowd. there's no way everyone will be able to make it out of this tunnel, no fucking way. there's still a mile of tunnel ahead and that mosh pit is travelling fast.

you take one final breath in acceptance of the death of this plan and tackle aether to the side of the tunnel.

a train-like collision occurs behind you as piles and piles of people shove their way through the tunnel, nails scratching and bones snapping under the sheer weight of bodies. as if they had already turned, mothers, children, friends and family gone feral begin to press against your back, pushing the air out of you. you cage your body around aether in response, feeling your ribs grate against his.

breathing becomes increasingly difficult and so in desperation, you look around for a door, a cubby hole, anything. where's the fucking- AH, maybe a metre to your left, there's a door with a fire escape sign above. and 5 metres behind that are the things everyone's running from. aether spots it too and yells something intelligible right into your ear. you can barely hear it over the screams and the cries and the groans and the snapping.

you both begin to push against the flood of people, avoiding the gnashing jaws of some that had already turned. just as the flow turns from warm to cold and their rotting hands are more than upon you, you squeeze through a crack in the door before slamming it shut.

cold, damp air greets your lungs like an old friend and you invite it in with huge gasps. the door rumbles and strains for a while and then finally, finally the screams die down and fade into the distance.

"are you, did you," aether manages to push out through the silence.

"no, no i'm fine. you?"

"they didn't get me, i'm ok too... what the hell happened? i thought the entrance to the tunnel was secure?"

"no clue... but that tunnel's not an option anymore, not with how many will be left in there."

feeling the emptiness of the tunnel behind you, you flop onto your back with exhaustion. another few breaths fill the tired concrete room before aether brings himself to speak again.

"there will be another way. there has to be."

your ears perk up to the tone of his voice.

"aether?"

the mention of his name draws his eyes to yours and he flushes with... guilt?

"you're not thinking what i think you're thinking, right?" you caution.

aether's breath hitches in his throat. his face fronts the same expression as before when he was lost in thought, just with more panic underneath. there's no way this bastard is really-

"you should leave me behind."

"is that so?" you remark with a deadpan voice.

"yes," aether falters at the coldness of your response. "i- i have to find lumine and it's probably going to be really dangerous and i want you to live so just leave me behind... i can't ask you to put yourself in danger for my selfish suicide mission."

"aether."

his trademark 'mm' greets you but now's not the time for kindness and concessions.

"ask."

"i said i can't-"

"ask." you interrupt softly.

his head droops in defeat. then his shoulders. then he looks up at you with those tear-filled, soft brown eyes, through those long brown eyelashes and finally asks

"please... stay with me."

part of you wants to keep him hanging for even suggesting the idea that you would leave behind your best friend and possibly the only family you have. another part of you knows that this has probably been eating away at him for the best part of a week already fresh from hell. the corners of your lips tug upwards and you crawl over to your sweet idiot of a friend.

"you are lucky you're so cute, you know. i have half the mind to throttle you for such blasphemy."

you slide your hands into his and his forehead presses into your shoulder. you then turn your head and speak into his hair, attempting to communicate directly into his temporal lobe via osmosis in the hope (and god you hope) it will get through.

"i will never leave you, aether. and i'm not abandoning lumine either, not while i know she's out there. so this little ploy to try and get rid of me on the sly," you tease, "will not bear fruit."

aether grins and chuckles quietly.

"damn. was i close?" he kids.

"not even a little, you crusty rat. you signed up for this ride the moment you beckoned me over on the playground. lumine too. so suck it up."

a louder laugh vibrates into your chest.

"shit, i-"

the handle on the door flicks, like a cat trying to jump up and open it. before you can react, it flicks again and the door creaks open. a deceased corpse politely wanders through, hesitant as if it knows it walked in on a moment.

fuck.

you both stagger to your feet and start racing towards the staircase against the south wall, too filled with adrenaline to notice the volume of your shoes slapping against each step. two more pairs of feet join the percussion band and it's suddenly a contest to get away from the place that minutes ago was your last chance of survival.

aether slams through the double doors at the top of the stairs and turns sharply to the left once his eyes zero in on another door illuminated in green. more stairs follow but the two pursuers behind you show no signs of fatigue. another wonderful effect of being bitten, much appreciated God.

at last, another 2 doors appear, one topped with a green fire escape sign but also hidden behind stacks of hastily-placed furniture and then another backlit by the beautiful light of day. a split-second decision has you both fling yourselves through the second door and into the outside world once more.

there's a barrier and then a sharp 90° drop in front of you.

a stern reminder that when people put fire exit lights above doors, you should probably trust that they know what they're doing. in your defence, you're both pretty stupid. the realisation and dread that hits with a thwack leaves no time to consider closing the door behind you.

a shuffle and a groan walk into a bar. god, that would be another great joke if you weren't busy competing for the prize of the world's most fuckity fuck fucked. "aether, start looking for a way out. i'll... well, i'll try hold them back." you suggest.

you grab a random broom from your right and start swinging it round like a bat. taste this, you fucks. one of your new friends takes a lunge at you but you knock them straight back onto their ass with a jab. ha. the other doesn't like that and starts chasing you around like he's 'it'. more footsteps resonate from the stairway inside, so no chance you're leaving this the normal way.

"aether, my dearest? i can't entertain these guests much longer!" you confess, failing to keep your voice calm.

"just hold on a second, wife." aether retorts, accompanied by the jangling of a belt buckle.

"um, we both know i'd be the husband-"

you're snatched out of your very legitimate line of thought by a strong arm. it snakes round your waist and hoists you up onto the barrier that separates you from a pretty gnarly death.

"so, suicide? ooh, we can die in each other's arms all romantically!"

"not today," aether smiles in return. "well, we're not dying intentionally at least."

he hands you the other end of his belt which has been flung around a thick wire that connects to a house on the other side of the road. oh... his smile tells you he's actually serious about this.

"ahaha, and I thought i was the funny one!" you jest.

"you're the annoying animal companion. i'm the smart one and lumine's the old hag who tricks you."

you guffaw at this brat's audacity and he pulls you closer.

"ready?"

"ready."

you step off.

the leather on the wire crescendos into an uncomfortable 'whizzing' sound as your bodies pick up momentum. the bottoms of your shoes just scuff the heads of a few wanderers below. for a sweet smattering of seconds, it seems like you're going to make it, you're mere inches away from a balcony that will mean you're safe and dry.

and then the wire snaps.

your knees feel like they've just shot into your stomach. the belt in your hand loses all its tension, no longer being held up by anything. but you'll make it, you have to make it. the balcony seems to fly towards you in slow-motion and there's only one thing on your mind. one second spans a million as you decide and then you slam into the wooden fence like a sack of potatoes.

searing pain rushes up the side of your ribs, so sharp that you almost lose your grip on the fence. aether's arm slides through your hand a little before your muscles remember to squeeze shut once more. before you can even think to cry out, a strange whipping noise sounds out from beneath you followed by an excruciating scream you had hoped you'd never have to hear.

aether's hand grows limp in yours and you realise he's passed out from the pain of something. something so bad that he screamed like that. no, just ignore that thought. the urge to join him in fainting grows strong. but you can't. not yet.

a frustrated sob leaves you, and in its stead follows a bubbling determination to keep going. you just need to get aether over this fence. then you're done. resolutely, you will your body to turn so that you're facing the road and slot your legs between the slats of the fence behind you, blinking away the dull ache biting into your calves. you exhale out another deep groan and strain as you try to lift aether's dead body, no, shut up. don't think, just lift.

apparently, some bald-headed bastard below finally pulls off aether's shoe and lets him go and he slumps over the fence, collapsing onto the floor like a ragdoll. you quickly follow him, throwing your weight over without a single thought as to where you land. your back hits the wood below with the softest landing you've experienced so far. thank god for back rolls.

you did it. you're both safe.

but like you've lied to yourself in many situations before, time and time again, you're not done and no, you can't rest. after a few painful breaths pump through very damaged lungs, you heave yourself up, ignoring the stabbing pain of your side again. nothing like the 3 stab wounds and then a gunshot from that crazy night with lumine. you can tank this easy. it's a short clamber over to aether's side and a very long moment while you check he's still breathing.

a shaky breath exits his lips.

hello brain function, welcome back. all the incentive you need to switch into work mode rushes your nervous system. you check his entire body for injury and find a cut along his back leg that's about 2cm deep, stopping just short of the bone. it's a clean slash, wrapping around his leg like a smile, but it undoubtedly needs stitches. likely from the wire whipping around after it snapped. well, it's better than getting gnawed on by shuffle and groan across the road.

you grab a flowerpot from nearby and flip it, delicately placing aether's leg on top to decrease the blood flow. next is finding some sort of first-aid kit which means going inside and taking out whatever comes your way. a sharp-looking trowel glints in your peripheral vision and you decide to use it like a knife, ready for potential danger (any fuckheads) inside. the sliding door opens quietly and you peer through.

God apparently hasn't forsaken you because the room is completely deserted, bar a few ominous bloodstains sported on the pale yellow walls and a hideously deceased bonsai, simply criminal. perhaps the big He even loves you, you ponder, when rifling through an oak chest of drawers to your right leads to the bountiful find of a first-aid kit.

racing back to aether, you quickly pull out the needle and thread and get to work patching up his wound. your shaky hands aren't helping and neither is the smaller and smaller tunnel of vision that you're squinting through but somehow, you manage to tie off the stitches and bandage the wound sloppily.

a sense of achievement fills your bones.

look at the fucking to-do list you just checked off! and they dared to say you lacked focus in school.

speaking of focus, yours seems to be blurring. it almost feels like you're viewing the world through a pinprick. the setting sun, the sliding door and the cream carpet splattered in dried blood seem to merge into one. ugh, and that damn tunnel has almost completely encompassed your vision. what is with shitty tunnels today?

half-delirious, you just barely operate your silly

little limbs to lift up your shirt (perv) and find

a lot of dar k purple skin.

'internal bleeding' becomes your last hilarious thought as you pass out onto the carpet.

slowly, painfully slow, you command your heavy eyelids to open. the popcorn ceiling in front of you blurs into view. moonlight bathes the white emulsion in blue. it's surprisingly pretty. and in the middle of this view, is a sharp blade hovering a few inches above your head.

it glints in the moonlight, willing you to look at it. an army knife, no a machete?

a weapon. that's going to kill you.

it's experience that stops you from freaking out first and the agonising ache that stretches across your right side that prevents you from moving. it takes all you have to drag your eyes up from the smooth curves of the machete above you, past pale, muscular forearms, stopping at a pair of dull red eyes. eyes that were assessing their next move, almost searching for something in you.

"i'm not one of them, if that's what you're thinking."

"not yet.", the man gruffly responds.

"threatening an innocent person, diluc? my, this new world has changed you."

a smoother, sultry voice slides from behind the red-haired frame. another man, this time wearing a gaudier white suit and furs, struts into view. shit, time to work the charm.

"i, uh... like your jacket?" you pose hesitantly.

not-diluc bursts out laughing, his volume garnering a glare from diluc-diluc.

"aha, that's your strategy? how interesting..."

you feel your face curve into a cheeky smile in response. someone's picking up what you're putting down. "come now, she's not exactly a threat." the man points out. "i'm kaeya. the sour-faced man is diluc. you are?"

"Y/N. nice to meet you, kaeya and diluc. thanks for not killing me."

and you really mean it.

diluc begrudgingly lifts his machete from above your head and strides over to the unconscious aether. he kneels down to check his condition. kaeya extends a hand

and pulls you onto your feet.

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! more characters are en route but just for now, diluc and kaeya are the tease.

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

have a good day!

Chapter 2: why is everyone so damn attractive?

Notes:

evening, companion fiction consumers. and welcome to the 2nd chapter of this fic, aka. trying to act cool: the saga

I got a whole lot more of this fic to come but I also haven't felt super inspired to write it so I'm tryna space these chapters out a little. pray for me 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The moment you are on your feet, the persistent ache of your side threatens to send you keeling over. but there's no time for that, not till you check on aether. besides, a thought has crossed your mind and you need to clear things up before-

"his leg."

diluc quickly stands back, his machete pointed towards one half of your very childhood. "explain," he orders. "now."

you rush over to aether, clambering to put yourself between your friend and the knife. "it's not what you think-" you begin to say.

"has he been bitten?" diluc interrupts, his eyes narrowing.

"no, no! he's fine, it's a cut."

"not a scratch? from one of them?" adds kaeya.

"definitely not. look, we... things happened and he ended up getting a huge gash on his leg from a wire. we passed out here while the sun was setting, there's no way he wouldn't have turned by now if he was bit." you tactfully decide to omit the part where you zipline across the road and crash into a fence like idiots. a look passes between the two men, then diluc lowers his machete.

"thank you." you breathe out in a sigh of relief.

you turn to check your injured friend, and fuck he looks pale. not that you're much better but why hasn't he woken up yet? you give him a gentle shake and he stirs slightly. "aether," you whisper, too afraid to speak any louder. "aether? wake up."

still half-asleep, aether murmurs, letting out another 'mm'. this idiot really loves making you worry, doesn't he?

"aether, wake your ass up and tell me you're ok or i will flip my shit."

"mm, Y/N? d-did we make it?"

"no, we're still hanging off that fence."

"a fence?"

"GAH- ah sorry..." you cry out before clocking the glare from across the room. kaeya had snuck up behind you, after a seemingly uncomfortable conversation with diluc.

"um, it's nothing. are there still more of those things outside?"

"nope! all gone."

wait, gone?

"all of them? but i could have sworn i counted 12 out on the street before..."

"13." diluc states with no sign of boasting. "but that doesn't mean it's safe here."

"you... helped them pass on? 13 of them? what kind of heat are you packing?" you gawk.

"well, if you must know-" begins kaeya with a smirk. "enough of that." ends diluc with a sigh. ha, this guy is full of it. "amber's taking too long."

"amber?" you sound out the question and meet with some intense looks in return. finally, diluc strides over to stand in front of you.

"are you two alone?"

"yeah, it's... just us." you respond with more sadness than you intended.

"then you can come with us. your friend needs to rest. but you'll need to pull your weight in return. understand?"

you cast your gaze down to the aforementioned friend who has nestled in your arms, clearly on the verge of falling asleep. diluc's offer is no doubt a godsend, especially now you're both injured, but… "is that... really ok? i mean, yes please, it's just-"

"don't worry, just accept our help, ok? you're not going to get very far alone, i'm afraid. besides, having new faces around will certainly liven things up a little." kaeya's words comfort you surprisingly well.

well, if they really will have you, who are you to deny them the luxury of two severely injured idiots?

"ok, um... thank you." you feebly comply.

"all in agreement? wonderful! then let's get moving. diluc, you'll need to carry that other boy."

diluc grumbles. "why is it that i'm carrying him?"

"because you're ohso strong and capable and of course, you'd never be so cruel as to let our new companion struggle on her own."

realising you're already troubling them, you pipe up. "it's ok, i can manage."

a disgruntled 'mm' emanates from diluc before he takes aether from you and swings him over his shoulder in one swift motion. it seems this one runs hot and cold.

but never adverse to a challenge, are you?

"mm, Y/N? what's happening?" aether's small voice queries. the weakness of it pulls at your heart strings and you stand up to follow him out of the room.

"don't worry, aether. we've been lucky enough to meet two very kind people who are going to help us so you can just sleep now... ah, if that's alright, mr diluc sir?"

the end of your sentence seems to stop diluc in his tracks, clearly disturbed by the tacking-on of more formal titles to his name. or maybe he was liked it? you'd certainly be chuffed if someone-

"DOn't... ahem, please refrain from calling me sir. just diluc is fine."

there's a chuckle from kaeya who emerges from the doorway and you struggle not to join him. he's holding the first aid kit from earlier. "i believe this is yours?"

god, how could you have walked away without that? you'll be making sweet love to that smooth green box when you're finally alone and able to really look at your injuries. for now though, best keep pretending you're not about to pass. "thank you! so you two live around here? i'd be surprised considering most of the city has now evacuated through tenbury tunnel."

"we're actually from opposite sides of town." kaeya admits. "unfortunately, it looks like the last way out of the city has been overrun so we're working on plan B. was that your plan too?"

"yeah, it was looking like a sweet deal right up until those things came up the tunnel from behind us. then it was a mad dash to get out of there."

reliving the day's nightmare so soon in such a casual way feels strange. but you have to at least look like you're able to hold up your end of this partnership, so light and breezy it is. your demeanour seems to at least have garnered the surprise of the two men beside you.

"you actually managed to get out of there alive? impressive..." chimes kaeya, wide-eyed. "i was under the belief that anyone in there either escaped, died, or came back once more."

"where exactly are you from?" diluc adds wearily, eyeing you up from under thick lashes. goodness sir, you'll fall into a fluster under that glare.

ignoring the simp in you, you begin to recount the week you and aether had had, back from when the outbreak first started, to the strenuous journey to the tunnel, to the mad dash through said tunnel. you then pray to yourself that you never see another tunnel again.

in return, kaeya mainly tells their tales of escaping their old apartment buildings, traveling to the tunnel, and finding people to help along the way, with diluc peppering in the odd addition. you can't help but notice how close they seem, despite the petty jabs and glares. it's rather sweet, and it eases your concerns.

also, it turns out that you are apparently in the presence of two very esteemed gentlemen, both businessmen with a lot of money. the sugar baby in you jumps at the opportunity before you quickly remind yourself that money has no value in this new world. aether also somehow seems to warn you not to say anything despite being fast asleep. damn cockblock.

the source of their difficulties rears its ugly head when the mention of some previous deal has both of them fall silent, even the silver-tongued kaeya. you're grateful to hear a pattering of footsteps that have come to save you from this awkward ass silence. unless it's more of those things. then you're only slightly less grateful.

luckily, a very cute girl with bunny ears and a very cute boy sporting a trendy outfit burst out of the house next to the one you've just left.

"kaeya! diluc! and... others?" greeted the girl, likely this 'amber' from before.

"amber, venti, this is Y/N and..." diluc starts before realising he hasn't asked aether's name.

"aether, right?" kaeya follows up, his eyes jeering at diluc's faux-pas. diluc does not appreciate this. it's almost like you can see them picking the wrong dialogue choices in a game and boy, it's not fun.

"right. it's nice to meet you both! your friends have kindly offered their help to us and so we'll be imposing on you for a little while, if that's alright?" you offer politely.

precisely one second passes as venti and amber look you up and down. then suddenly they're clambering down the steps of a very nice townhouse and rushing to greet you, confirming your suspicions that they're the mood makers of the group.

"it's nice to meet you, Y/N! call me venti, a super cute idol with a traditional style~ i'm sure you're full of stories already just from the past week! promise me you'll tell me them all so i can weave them into a song."

"i'm amber, i usually scout ahead for the group! before i was a school coach but i guess that's all in the past now. don't hesitate to ask me for help though! ooh, or any sort of exercise or challenge, those are kind of my thing."

the two bombard you with information and questions which might just leave most with their heads spinning. you however thrive under these conditions. you match their energy tenfold, linking arms with them, and it starts to feel like you've already known them for 3 months, not 3 minutes. also, just to mentally note, there are now 4 incredibly attractive people around you and that legally can't be a coincidence, no sir. someone has had the same idea as you and that just isn't fair.

"hey, is that guy alright?" questions venti, throwing a concerned glance towards aether. the serious question knocks you right out of your stupid fantasies.

"he got cut pretty badly and we've both just been through a lot today in general..." apparently you're fucking something up because the others seem to notice the dip in your mood.

"ah, i'm sure lisa will be able to help, she's knowledgeable about all sorts of things." explained amber, attempting to cheer you up.

"is she medically trained? that would be wonderful."

"ah... well, not trained, but um..." amber strains. guilt rushes through you for being too hasty.

"not to worry, Y/N! she'll be able to help him. plus, we can head out and get whatever he needs in our supply runs." venti reassures, smoothing over the issue.

"that's very kind of you all, thank you. i'm no professional but i think i know a sufficient amount, just to get by. it's more than enough that you're letting us stay with you so thank you again. oh and thank you for carrying aether too… um, may i ask where you're all currently living?"

"lisa's a librarian." states kaeya. "we're all currently staying in her library, thanks to her hospitality. also, just so you know, you don't need to keep thanking us. you may be offering your labour in return but let's not make this a transactional relationship." there are nods of agreement around the group and you realise you may have overdone it with the politeness. eek, this is so not you.

"that's right! there's more than enough space at the library, no need to thank us so much. it's making me feel a little guilty for not saying thank you enough myself when you all helped me..." sighed venti.

"drinking half the shelf of the bar nearby was not an appropriate thank you." diluc gripes. "how you managed to drink that much..."

"ehe, i just happen to have a particular tolerance for good wine! that chardonnay was unforgettable..."

the group continues chatting all the way to the library.

you have to wonder how long it had been since you'd been part of such a lighthearted conversation? or been with such carefree people? ever since the outbreak, it felt like so many around you had already died, just empty husks of who they used to be. no blaming them of course, they'd probably lost everything, but...

who would have thought you'd be chatting so nicely again like you're heading home from school or something?

venti seems to spot your reverie and hangs back to talk to you. "hey Y/N, you must be a little overwhelmed by all this, right? don't worry about having to talk, just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. i heard you were in the tunnel when it got overrun so..." he poses kindly.

"oh, no, no i'm not..." you begin.

but... you are tired. and your side is killing. is it ok to admit that? this whole life-saving deal rests on you being able to help this group out in return. if you can't do that, then...

"Y/N?" a voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

"sorry! i was just... happy. it's been a while since i've heard a casual chat like this." you plaster on a smile. "kind of had to bask in it..."

"ah, i hear you! i was, er, on my own for a little while before i met these guys. now they may be a little rough and tiresome at times. but staying with them has been nought but sublime~"

a rhyme. huh.

"oh ho! um... 12 cents is a dozen of dimes... oh! whiskey sours are garnished with lemons and limes!"

you can practically hear the ding of delight in his head. who let you be this charming and sexy? it's a good thing there's no law against god-tier sexiness in this post-apocalyptic world cause your ass would be fried.

"we're here." grunts diluc, interrupting your conversation win streak.

'here' seems to refer to a massive red brick building adorned in emerald green ivy. it's mostly intact, bar a few smashed window frames, and the normality of it all embeds a deep sense of calm in you. it's even been spared the deserted cars with doors flung open that every other building you've passed seems to have endured. libraries have always been calming to you, even since the days when you would cram geography bullshit into your brain whilst two nondescript twins would whine at you constantly.

a contented 'mmm' purrs out from amber, accompanying her full body stretch.

"it's good to be back, huh. come on, let's see what jean and lisa got up to!"

she races towards the entrance of the library, coasting 10 steps with ease which has you jealous as fuck. also, who is this 'jean' person? known exclusively for her full denim ensembles, is she-

OWW FUCK! oooh, that bastard internal bleeding-

"Y/N? aren't you coming?" calls kaeya from the door, staring down at you from a few steps above.

"oh, yes coming!"

you scurry over in an attempt to cover your ass. fucking yikes, this is not going well or good. but sleep is on the horizon and you are the protagonist riding into that sunset. HOLD IT TOGETHER BITCH!

The inside is unbelievably average and you could cry at the sight of it. soft carpet in purple and midnight blue hues, rows upon rows of pine bookshelves, worn down yet comfy-looking sofa chairs that huddle in a warmly lit corner. your feet sink into the floor and you realise you're not on concrete for the second time today. at least the pain of walking will subside a little here.

"welcome back, i'm glad you're all ok!" an unfamiliar voice chimes.

"yes, we were just starting to worry. jean couldn't stop looking over to see if you were back, could you dear?" another smoother voice adds on. now that's someone you could listen to for a while.

"we got a little caught up is all. but it was well worth the wait~" kaeya glances at you with a sly little smile. oh brother, you're gonna get along like a house on fire, huh?

two incredibly beautiful women slide their gaze in your direction and you almost lose your cool. almost of course. one has stunning sea blue eyes, silver-blonde hair and the promised white jeans that now have you wrestling your own eyes for dominion. the other dons a very cute purple dress, wavy brown hair tied to one side with a fabric rose and green eyes- d-did she just... wink at you? oh brother.

"Y/N, this is jean," amber points to the blonde," and lisa!" pointing to the brunette.

"ah, another survivor like ourselves. it's good to meet you! i hope you weren't in too much trouble when they found you." jean presumes, flashing you a managerial smile.

"aw, you've found such a cutie! i'm lisa dear, it's lovely to meet you. let me know if you need anything, i'm always happy to help sweet things like you!" hums lisa. diluc didn't mention 'here' meant heaven earlier.

"ah, thank you, nice to meet you too! I'm Y/N, and this is aether, my friend. we, er... weren't doing amazing when diluc and kaeya found us but we're much better now thanks to them."

diluc apparently gets embarrassed by this gratitude and he walks off towards another room on the side. and gosh it's cute!

"and you're back to thanking us again. honestly..." kaeya mumbles, sighing to himself.

amber follows diluc a few moments later, something about dinner and you finally realise you're starving. all you want to do is drop to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut but not yet. not till everyone's asleep. you leave aether in lisa's seemingly capable hands and stride off to the kitchen.

"there's no need for you to help, you can rest if you'd like." diluc starts as soon as you enter.

"ah, i couldn't eat your food without at least helping out. i promise i'm pretty good at cooking so is it ok if i take some tasks off your hands?" you pose, begging him to say no so you can fucking lie down-

"you can help me with these mushrooms, Y/N! there are also red and green peppers that need dicing over there and..." amber begins to murmur to herself and you wearily pick up a knife from nearby. just a little bit more then you're feeling up on those smooth green corners and taking those delicious painkillers and experiencing some mouthwatering relief and-

"whoa, did you used to be a chef or something? those peppers are flying!" exclaims amber and you realise your badass knife skills are on autopilot.

"your familiarity with a knife... hm, it seems you'll be able to help on our supply runs after all." muses diluc, glancing out of the corner of his eye like he's auditioning for the role of peripheral vision.

right. well, that randomly upped your cred in this scenario. thanks autopilot hands?

you all finish up making dinner and bring it out to the group. peppers, mushrooms, and nondescript meat sauce with a few herbs pinched from a nearby garden. fucking orgasmic considering you and aether had been lasting on ramen for the past 7 days. everyone devours dinner and then curious eyes turn towards you once the conversation lulls.

"so, Y/N, where are you from? do you live in the city?" queries jean. fuck, more of this? you'd love to answer dear, but you're also secretly dying over here.

"... i'm-"

"she's likely very tired, jean. i can understand your curiousity but it's best left for tomorrow." interrupts diluc.

oh lord, marriage. immediately.

you battle the intense urge to kiss this glorious, glorious man and bid the group a quick good night. amber shows you to a beanbag tucked in a corner, with bookshelves on either side for privacy, and practically showers you in blankets. the moment your sore back lands in the comfort of the beanbag, your entire body relaxes for the first time today, sinking in and sighing. the quiet conversation nearby coaxes your eyes shut.

ah man… comfort… wait, what were you supposed to be doing once you were alone? something about a box, you think. maybe you shouldn't sleep so easily around people you don't know but... this is so comfortable... and your side hurts less now you're half asleep... but aether...

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! more characters have arrived, hope I did them justice but know I'll be exploring their characters a little more in future chapters tooo

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

have a good day tomorrow!

Chapter 3: no pain, no gain

Notes:

evening again, dear fiction enjoyers. it's chapter 3 and I'm so happy I've broken my curse of only ever posting 2 chapters of a fic.

as per the title, you can already imagine what this chapter's about. hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

you stir slowly, feeling groggy, like absolute shite. your right side feels like it's melted into the beanbag you're on and you can barely feel anything. the early sunlight floods through the windows near the top of the room and it almost looks like the sky's on fire. how fitting for a new day in the apocalypse.

you go to rub your face awake and pop!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OW FUCK

your hand smacks into your mouth to cover it just before you reel off every curse known to man. one tentative glance to your right shoulder and yep, it's dislocated. your arm hangs off the side of you in a broken, limp manner. unsurprising considering the tissue surrounding your shoulder joint got one-shotted by a fence and now is likely capable of holding fuck all in place.

well, this is not ideal.

no way you're popping it back in without waking anyone up. it's a miracle no one heard you just now. you take a few short, shallow breaths and stumble to your feet, head reeling. the dizziness is probably from your internal bleeding and it's not a good sign. being able to fake your way through this is seeming less and less possible.

maybe you could convince them to let you stay anyway?

ugh, one concern at a time. right now you need to walk outside and bust this shoulder back in place. you clamber along with the bookshelves as your guide, taking great care not to make too much noise, and make it to the front doors, your sweet green saviour cube in tow. not too long now, just get outside and-

um, just get outside and... excuse you? why are these doors not budging? are they locked? bro, swear to god just let us outside bro please oh nonono, don't cry don't cry you're fine you'r-

a 'pull' sign. right.

brushing off the near mental breakdown you just side-stepped, you head outside and carefully descend down the steps. you ease yourself down so that you're perching on a step and take a deep breath. 3...2...1... OOH, BASTARDLY BITCH CUSTARD!

fresh tears form in your eyes as you reel from the discomfort of slotting your arm back into its socket. just the thought of it makes your whole body shudder. your mouth turns sour, filling with saliva, like you're about to throw up. shit, you're really gonna throw up from the pain... pain.

painkillers!

tearing open the box on your lap, you find a gift direct from god: paracetamol. you pray sincerely that the king harmon northrop morse is resting comfortably, his crops are watered, his pillow is cold, and down about 5 pills with pure saliva to wash them down. incredible.

your eyes drift upwards to gaze at the burgeoning blue sky while you wait for the painkillers to kick in. golds and oranges paint the whispy clouds, birds flitter about, and there's a serenity and calm that you wouldn't expect to find amidst an apocalypse. what a shitty day. and it's only 6 in the morning. a slow sense of relief washes over you for the first time in hours and you find yourself breathing out further and further in response.

you figure... you should probably look at it.

a few more deep breaths and your hands find the bottom of your shirt. the fabric feels smooth between your thumb and index finger as you rub in delay. it's not gonna be good. but here goes...

the purple seems to stretch on for miles. you have to pull down your shorts a little just to see all of it. it's a deep, festering plum purple with tiny pale white blotches dotted throughout. the size of the patch is what scares you. it covers your entire right side, from your rib cage to your hip, and reaches all the way around. it looks like mold, or ink, or a black hole.

you're probably going to die from this.

there's a small chance it will heal itself with proper rest. a very small chance. but aether, oh god, aether. you had just promised him you'll never leave him and now you're about to pop your clogs. maybe you shouldn't have tried to protect him before. but you did and now you're going to die on him because of it.

"my, you look lost in thought."

a silken voice cuts through the morning air.

you wrench down your shirt and spin round. "kaeya!... good morning! you startled me, i didn't expect you to be up so early."

he chuckles and takes a seat beside you. "apologies for startling you, i just heard some rattling at the door. worried it might be a few wanderers or something..."

nope, just one person who's very close to losing it! you think to yourself.

"ah, sorry! didn't spot the 'pull' sign in time, ehehe. did you sleep ok?"

"mm..." kaeya thrums, watching you from the corner of his eye. gosh, those two must be related or something, that's exactly the same move?!

"are you... ok?" he finally asks. "you look as white as a sheet. i recognise we've only known each other a day or so but if there's something bothering you..."

you chew your lip to stop yourself from crying. you probably shouldn't... it's best not to...

'are you ok?' rings around your mind. how to answer it.

"define 'ok'..."you attempt to say as a joke, but apparently saying anything was the real trap because tears are now flooding down your cheeks.

kaeya cautiously reacts to this sudden downpour, placing a comforting hand on your arm. oh, this guy just won't quit with the incredibly kind gestures, will he? you can't be sexy and nice.

the once crisp morning air now seems heavy and damp, like the moment before a snowstorm. there's... no way to explain this. no words you can use. all you can think to do is lean forward and press your forehead into him.

your searing hot face is met with deliciously cool fabric. he's wonderfully cold. a second hand is delicately placed on your other arm, as if you otherwise might break, and it begins to rub up and down in a hypnotising rhythm. your own hands find more fabric and pockets to cling onto in response, pressing further and further into him to keep more tears from spilling out.

you both stay like this for a while.

kaeya apparently draws his own conclusions as to what you're crying about, because he doesn't say another word. he just continues to squeeze your arms gently, sliding up and down in time with his breathing. you're truly grateful for the comfort of another body. listening to the soft beat of his heart and the soothing rise and fall of his chest, you find yourself grounded once more.

you were always going to die at some point, especially in a world like this with self-sacrificing tendencies like yours. and that's ok. you still have time to sort things out so aether will survive without you.

you take a few more deep breaths to clear your head. kaeya said they were trying to get out of the city before so they're now working on plan b. a bit of negotiating and you and aether can tag along with them. realistically, that's probably as far as you're making it and then aether's... on his own looking for lumine. the thought makes you sick to your stomach. ascertaining the group's plans will be key to figuring out whether you can get them to take aether to new sara city. then it'll be in a higher power's hands whether they find lumine there. at least it's a start.

"thank you, kaeya." you whisper with a sniffle, leaning back to rub your puffy eyes.

kaeya smiles kindly. "no problem... are you feeling a little better now?"

"mm," you begin, pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes before dragging them through your hair. "just haven't really paused and taken stock in a while." your hands come to rest around the back of your neck, fingers intertwined. you look over to kaeya and smile, feeling much lighter than before. "turns out living in an apocalypse tends to stress you out a little." you josh.

"ah, i see. it's funny how even the smallest things can become the last straw. but my question from before was seemingly the cause of this so i apologise."

your eyes widen. "no, no! i was barely hanging together and i really needed to cry so... i'm happy i wasn't alone for it. though i wasn't expecting our next encounter to turn out like this."

"oh? what did you expect to happen?" kaeya asks innocently, betraying his teasing undertones.

"aha, probably some light flirting and the like. knowing me and surmising from what i know about you. two romantic souls, trapped in an apocalypse, who could blame us?" you find yourself looking over at kaeya with a grin.

"my, what an expansive imagination you have. it seems you're feeling well enough to be dressing me down with your eyes already."

"w-WHAT?! no, no i wasn't-"

"the others will soon be up, so i'll go start breakfast."

the door clicking shut interrupts your bumbling denial. damn that little chest window...

you rub your sore eyes once more as sun beats down through the windows of the library. if your face has swollen into a balloon from crying yet, no one's mentioned it. no matter, you've got an aether to find.

"morning, lisa!" you call out as a very tired woman blunders out from behind a bookshelf. the morning fog that surrounds her head is palpable.

"mm, jean? why are we up so early?" lisa moans, clearly still asleep.

"ah, it's Y/N. sorry to wake you, i was just wondering where aether was." jean, huh?

her eyebrows furrow for a moment before realisation dawns on her face. "oh, sorry sweetie. good morning to you too. aether is..." she rubs the bridge of her nose. "over there?"

a feeble finger points toward a section of bookshelves towards the back of the library. you follow its direction, thanking lisa in passing, and find aether curled up in a huddle of blankets and cushions. he was always one to curl up into a ball whenever you napped together.

you crouch down and whisper "aether?" sweetly into his ear. slowly, he breathes out and furrows his brows. then, leading with his nose, he turns to face you and sniffs around like the golden retriever he is.

"Y/N?"

"i'm here."

his face relaxes a little and his eyebrows unknit. like he's done a thousand times before, he catches hold of the fabric of your shirt and pulls you into bed. you land on top of him with an oof and his arms curl round to hold you in place. honestly, this brat. you warm up your warning voice, pulling your body back up. "aet-"

"AHH!" a scream has you swinging your head around to encounter a very red-faced amber. "a- um, sorry i'll just, um" she begins to stutter out.

"oh, amber, you scared the shit out of me. this isn't-"

aether seems to have stirred beneath you and taken to nuzzling his head into your shoulder.

"... what it looks like." you sigh. she slams aether's pain meds onto the floor and sprints off. the cause of her impromptu morning jog falls back asleep peacefully, smushing his entire face into your décolletage.

you sigh again, harder this time, feeling the dull ache of your side as your lungs move. this one's gonna be tough to explain. friendships between boys and girls can come under suspect so easily, especially when said boy clings to said girl like an idiot. like a complete idiot. right in front of another cute girl too...

gazing down again at the boy beneath you, you feel a surge of sadness build in your chest and prick at the corners of your eyes. you can't leave him. he's strong, sure, but he relies on you. and you...

you don't want to leave him either.

after a few minutes of running your fingers through his tawny golden hair, you decide to wake him again for breakfast. you wrangle his sleepy body onto your left side to avoid agitating the bruises on your right and practically carry him over to the sofa chair circle.

"morning, Y/N! and aether, right?" venti greets you.

"morning!" you respond.

the body on your left apparently wakes up and throws a very confused look in your direction. "ahaha, you must not remember much, huh? we're currently in a library near tenbury tunnel. yes, we made it and yes, we are still alive."

you set in down on one of the chairs and then crouch down so you're level with him.

aether slurs "mm... why do i feel so hazy?"

"you're currently on quite a bit of pain medication, aether. now don't freak out," you place a gentle hand on his affected leg. "but your leg was cut pretty bad. so no walking about until it's healed, alright?"

"cut from... what?"

you hesitate and glance over at venti. he stares back at you with curiousity, clearly having pondered this himself. looks like vague and ominous is the way.

you look back to aether. "er... the wire. it snapped and whipped round to cut you. we're lucky it didn't take your leg off or something."

his eyes finally grow wider and more responsive. "then, how did we get across? did we just fly straight into the wall or something?"

"fly into a wall?" repeats venti.

"... a fence actually. but we're fine, we made it. and then diluc," you point to the redhead who's currently in an apron. not a bad look... "and kaeya" pointing to the blue-haired man who's waving at you. "found us and let us stay here."

you wave back.

"breakfast! oh, hey! you're awake. it's nice to finally meet you, aether!" chirps amber, with her dazzling smile back on. man, it'd be nice to wake up to her every morning~

your daydream's suspended by an awkward pause.

"... sorry about, um, before..." she turns red and quickly sits down.

"before?" venti inquires, seemingly enjoying what must be a very confusing conversation.

"oh amber that was just... we're friends but we've known each other for a long time so hugging like that is just the norm for us."

there's a moment of confusion, then a cheshire cat smile carves into venti's cheeks. "oh?~" ha, this one's fun too.

"mm, hugging? you mean us?" your resident dumbass seems to have forgotten mere minutes ago.

"yes, us. well, more specifically you. people tend to get ideas when you're squeezing me like a body pillow."

finally, you achieve that mortified look on aether's face that you so love. a little justice for being so embarrassing in front of amber can't hurt, right? diluc comes over to place down the rest of the food and your eyes turn from one delectable feast to another. honeyed sausages, buttery eggs, crispy bacon. served with orange juice and a range of condiments. gods, you never thought you'd see such a meal again.

"goodness, what's the occasion?" lisa stifles a yawn. "not that i'm complaining..."

diluc sighs. "do i need an occasion to cook decent food?... i figured our guests would need to get their strength back."

"it's much appreciated, diluc." jean takes a seat beside lisa. kaeya wanders over, greeting everyone, and sits as far away from diluc as possible. they both ignore each other quite obviously. yet again, awkward.

jean speaks up. "now, i wanted to take a moment to talk to you both. but only if you're ready of course. ah, we haven't been formally introduced, my name is jean." she nods towards aether.

"um, i'm aether. nice to meet you." aether says timidly. damn simp.

"i've heard a little about your journey so far and it sounds like you had a very tough time. so no worries, if you don't want to talk yet."

"that's no problem, we've already made you wait a little while." you respond, matching her formality. the sausage beneath you that's been evading your fork for a minute now works to ruin said formality.

she continues. "our group is planning to get out of the city and i hear you two intend to do the same. there's power in numbers so i'd be happy to extend an offer of partnership so we can work towards the same goal. i understand that you attempted to leave through tenbury tunnel once before, but your plan was thwarted by an attack."

"yes, that's correct. and a partnership would be wonderful, thank you so much! aether's injured so i'm happy to pick up the slack for both of us." you feel the presence beside you tense a little. that idiot is feeling unnecessarily guilty again. you'll have to tell him off later.

"thank you, that's very kind. do you have much experience with collecting supplies? it'd be great if you could support diluc and amber on their supply runs."

a voice pipes up from beside you. "oh, Y/N's got an amazing skill set, she can help you." um, aether. what the ass?

"an amazing skill set, you say..." kaeya muses.

"oh no no, i'm nothing special."

"huh?! why are you being all bashful about it? you're like scarily strong, super smart-"

"w-well, why are you boasting for me?" you counter, growing a little red. what's with the ass-kissing? it's really not helping your cred. worst still, the others seem to have found this little squabble funny.

"i'm sure you'll be able to help out no matter what, Y/N. either way, we're grateful for your assistance. what plans do you have once you get out of the city?"

oh snap.

it's go time. please jean, just find these words so irresistible that you wish to follow them too. "we intend to head to new sara city to search for someone. it'd be great if you'd like to join us..." you pose, trying not to let your desperation show.

jean's expression falters a little. oh dear. "you're searching for someone too, huh?" too? oh dear.

well, fuck.

"we're planning on searching for jean's little sister barbara in kodia. it's… in the opposite direction. sorry about that cutie, we'd really love to help..." lisa adds in, trying to ease the joint discomfort of plans not aligning.

"that's ok, i'm sure we'll manage." aether softens the room further, while both you and jean are distracted. "i really hope you're able to find your little sister jean. we're actually looking for my twin sister too, so i can understand a little of what you feel..." he side-glances you, wondering why your feathers are so ruffled.

god, how are you gonna die on him now?

kaeya takes hold of the conversation. "in any case, please allow us to work together to leave this city. we're still planning to use the tunnel to leave the city so any information you give us regarding it would be wonderful."

his words snatch your attention.

"use the tunnel? ah, i'm not sure." yesterday's events are still fresh in your mind.

"was there an accident in there? or is it somehow unusable now?" pushes jean, her blue eyes intensely gazing into yours.

"in truth, it was all fine when we entered the tunnel. then a few miles down, we heard screams behind us. a massive group of those things stormed the tunnel, leading everyone to rush out as soon as possible. but there were a lot of us so people had to push to get away."

aether shudders. "it was awful. everyone kept pushing and trampling each other. people were getting squashed under the weight and you could... hear it."

the mood of the room had turned dark in just a few words. you could tell aether had gotten lost in his own memories, grimacing at the sights.

you take over. "there were biters mixed in with the mosh pit and it was near impossible not to get swept up. but aether and i managed to get to the side and get through a fire exit. from what we heard, it sounded like the wave pushed through all the way to the end of the tunnel. the problem now is how many wanderers were left behind in the aftermath..."

everyone in the room is deep in thought. the tunnel is likely the only way out but it's filled with those things. what other option do you have? a deep voice cuts through the tension. "no matter what dares to stand in our way, we must press forward." some sort of fire is burning inside diluc and it is dazzling. "whatever it takes, we will make our way out of this city."

his determination is impressive, akin to a sturdy oak tree planted in place. you find yourself inspired to speak up.

"'work the problem', you mean?" you grin and meet his gaze. "there's no doubt in my mind that we're up to it."

the rest of the group seems to agree and begin to buzz. you'll get through this somehow.

you have to.

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! had our little moment with kaeya and you KNOW I had to mention the chest window, it was just necessary. anywhos, first supply run next chapter get hyped!

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

have a good day tomorrow!

Chapter 4: a runner, a strider, and an idiot

Notes:

good to see you again, my gorgeous fiction gobblers. i want to apologise for taking SO LONG to upload another chapter and you know I'm about to hit you with the crazy fanfiction writer excuses: my mum got cancer.

it's been a rough few months but her surgery went well so as long as the biopsy goes well at the end of this month, we should mostly be in the clear. in any case, new chapter whoop whoop!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"that's great and all, but how are we actually going to get through?" aether states, promulgating his distaste for empty words.

"always such a debbie downer, you." you cross your arms at aether. "we know there's a tunnel out of the city and that we're gonna use it. it's just how we get through the horde of biters inside."

"mm, maybe i just missed something but wouldn't cars be fast enough? we could add layers of protection on the outside too." suggests venti.

"it's gross but i think the, um... bodies would pile up and block the wheels. we need to move past the horde, not just run them down." aether counters.

and the back and forth begins.

ideas involving bikes, walking, 'gliding through on a jetpack' as venti puts it, are passed round the table along with the last of the eggs. the mention of a vespa sparks an idea in your head.

"what about motorbikes? they'd be small enough that we can drive past the horde and fast enough that they won't have time to block us."

murmurs spread across the makeshift breakfast table. "aren't all of these ideas too dangerous though? driving 6 miles means there's a huge risk one of those things would pull us off. it'd be exhausting dodging all of them." lisa questions.

and back to the drawing board you go.

"there have been some interesting ideas, but i think the most plausible is venti's." voices jean, signaling the end of the discussion with ease. "on your supply runs today, it'd be great if you could look out for any reinforced trucks or cars left behind by the army. a successful day starts from the morning, so let's give it our all today!"

there's a resounding nod from each person in the group and then you're bouncing up to take the dishes from the table with amber. painkillers are your new favourite drug because oh sweet lord, you could pop your pussy in a dance circle right now. you feel great!

"you seem to be feeling much better today, Y/N! you must have been exhausted yesterday." amber catches on to your impeccable vibes.

"ahaha, i'm feeling just peachy! ready to help you however i can on the supply run today~" you respond, stacking the last of the clean dishes.

there's a deep 'mm' that's getting familiar from behind. "just don't get too ahead of yourself. any situation can become dangerous, even a simple supply run."

"i'm sure we'll be ok, diluc! there's 3 of us now and Y/N's skills with a knife are sure to come in handy."

and thus, you're equipped with an empty backpack, lunch, and a sharp tactical knife. diluc imparts some more ominous warnings and the group gathers together to send you off. only one thing before you leave.

whoever said twins can communicate via telepathy was spot on, but they completely missed the third wheel best friend who can also inspect noggins like a mind reader before payday. you could feel the deep thrum of nervousness in the room, just need to find him-ah!

"aether! i'm off so don't die without me, 'kay?" you sport cheerily. aether's face grows gloomier. "don't even say it... look, just come back alive, please. and don't cause trouble for diluc and amber."

HUH?! how rude!

you tell aether as such, faining a dramatic gasp. he just smiles sadly and wraps his arms around you.

he really will miss you when you're gone, won't he?

you bite your tongue and hold him tightly. no point worrying about that yet, you need to get him out of the city first. leaning back a little, you ruffle his hair and wave goodbye.

you can barely heave your eyes from his small, crestfallen frame as you leave. the way he hugs himself, looking tired from the stress already... the image burns into your retinas and you know it will be only your fault that he'll cry himself to sleep for the next few years.

god, what have you done?...

it's a few minutes into your walk and amber seems to have spotted your low mood. figures that one-half of the moodmaking committee would be able to sense moods. "are you feeling a little worried about leaving aether?" she poses. "i can imagine it must be hard..."

you can only manage a small 'mmhm' in response.

"i guess i was a little jealous myself when i saw how much he was going to miss you. n-not that the group isn't very supportive, of course! just... well, he really loves you, doesn't he?"

he really loves you, doesn't he?and yet, you've done this...

it seems your face must have fallen even harder because diluc's also glancing at you now.

"but you'll be back soon, right?"

amber's elevating words seem to wake you back up. "r-right... we'll be back soon... sorry, this isn't the mood to be starting a supply run with..."

ah, she looks like she's at a loss for words.

"listen, as long as you stay focused and don't mess about, we'll be able to handle whatever is thrown our way. and that library has kept us safe for the best part of a week. it's unlikely anything will happen now if it hasn't happened already. so let's hurry up so we can hurry home."

hearing so many words leave diluc's mouth leaves you too shocked to wallow. and judging from amber's face, it's clearly not normal. god, this is not like you at all. you slap your cheeks and turn to face him.

"right! thank you. let's do this."

newfound optimism infects your lizard brain, coupled with possible side effects from downing a fuck ton of painkillers before leaving. you dying may not be the nicest gift for aether but what's done is done. you've already promised yourself that you would use your last days to help aether and these kind people as much as you can. holding them up on a simple supply run is not conducive to that goal. focus. you've gotten through harder times than these.

perking up once more, you begin to needle the pair for their personal trivia and they seem to relax a little. "so, diluc... you're a fancy bu~si~ness man, right? what kind of fancy business did you use to do?"

"... i owned a few hotels. but that's all in the past, no need to talk about it now."

bro, what.

"hotels?!" you echo. "i mean... huh, that's cool, that's cool... wait, does that mean kaeya owned hotels too?"

an exasperated sigh exits diluc, leaving his arms crossed tightly in annoyance. "yes, some."

...

right.

"that's very impressive, owning hotels. i was wondering why you had such a well-made suit on too. guess that's why..."

"it was just what i happened to have on when the outbreak first hit. left, here." he directs, cutting the conversation short. you follow him round the bend of the leaf-covered road and come face to face with a large supermarket: 'Walk to Us' the sign says. that you did, supermarket. that you did.

"this is the last one close to us that we haven't investigated yet." amber advises you. "all the others had been raided so we're really hoping this one has the stuff we need." she unfolds a scrap of paper torn from a notepad and studies the contents.

"two bags of flour, toothpaste, cider for venti..." she mumbles. "ah right, Y/N? did you move the first aid kit you brought? i couldn't find it anywhere and it's the only medical kit we have at the moment."

ooo, hello 'time to lie through your bare teeth'.

"i did, it should be... um..." you struggle to recall the exact location you left it in your drugged-up stupor. "well, it's definitely in the library somewhere. i must have moved it last night."

amber stops and looks up. "last night? didn't you fall asleep pretty much right away?"

"a-ah, maybe this morning then? sorry, it's a bit fuzzy..."

"you were up rather early." diluc adds. "i thought i heard your voice."

eee, this conversation needs to be span round and sat down, stat. "yes, i was woken by the morning light and went to sit outside. kaeya joined a little later too. sorry if i woke you."

"don't mention it. we can look for more kits here too." he says in passing, using some boltcutters from his pack to cut the locks on the front doors of the supermarket. damn, not even a grunt. this man is buff and suspicious of you which you definitely don't find hot, no sir.

you each enter through the newly opened doors and face an uncomfortably lit supermarket. there's something repelling about the darkness that looms over the tops of the shelves, like it's a warning that you shouldn't be there. diluc switches on a flashlight from his pack and strides in, unperturbed.

"looks pretty well stocked! come on, let's take a look!" amber pipes up. nothing seems to faze these two it seems.

you head further in, past the deserted checkouts, and unanimously decide to ignore the wave of rotting food smell that hits you 3 metres in. diluc splits off to check for any unwanted shoppers and you follow amber through the rows and rows of food. the light levels grow lower and lower with each step but she perseveres on, repeating the mantra of 'flour' under her breath. you have to admire her for her bravery, not even worrying about whether she might walk headfirst into a fellow body.

"flour! and loads of it!"

your eyes follow her newly extended hand to the stacks of red and blue bags on your right. "such excitement for something like flour..." you chuckle, while she grows a little red.

"ah, well... it's just good to check it off the list, you know..."

"your enthusiasm is more infectious than the virus. it's a good thing! i like it, at least." you add, not wanting to make her feel self-conscious. amber busies herself with undoing the buckles of her backpack, in what you suspect to be a bid to brush off the compliment.

"here," you offer, dropping your own bag at her feet. "i'll carry it." she seems to hesitate, so you flash her a warm smile to show your willingness. bam, charm.

um, charm? that wasn't just a cue for you to stare, dear.

"amber?"

her eyes seem trained on you and her face is redder than before. you can't quite figure out what she's thinking.

"h-huh?! oh, sorry, i'm sorry. i'll get started on this packing." she blustered, practically tearing the bags open to check them. "don't want weevils like last time, aha..haha..!"

"that sounds like a story! who was it who realised? oh! did you all eat them before you noticed?" you tease, hoping for some ammunition against kaeya and venti.

you never do hear the story however, because there are quick-paced footsteps getting closer and closer. before amber can even pull her hand from the flour bag, the shadow of what might be an old man rushes you.

your instincts kick in, swirling amber behind you with one hand while brandishing your tactical knife with the other. the man lurches forward with a guttural growl and your knife plunges into his head with ease. the muscle memory of a thousand training exercises leaves you practically unfazed.

and to think there was a time when you promised yourself you would never kill another person.

in the midst of your momentary lack of focus, another knife slides through the head of the man seconds after yours. you both seem to wise up to each other's presence and pull your knives out. the body drops to the ground like a collapsable chair and diluc stands before you, looking just as shocked.

you lean over and whisper closer to him. "any others?"

"no, just the one. a security guard."

your body relaxes which signals amber to start making the obvious exclamations. she scrambles off the floor eagerly. "that was amazing?! you were so fast, Y/N, i hadn't even realised what was going on. how did you know to do that?"

ah, probably shouldn't give the old backstory just yet. "oh, just experience i guess... i-i'm not a serial killer so you don't need to make that face."

amber's face becomes slightly less horrified.

"your reflexes are sharp. you'll be coming on more supply runs with us." diluc concludes, clearly a little impressed.

"aha, thank you! i'll do my best. so, we should get the rest of the stuff off this list, right?"

two heads nod in response and amber begins divvying out the work. diluc sets off once more to search for toothpaste and canned food, leaving you and amber to find cider and a first aid kit. "hey, how about we make this a little competition to see who can find a first aid kit? i won't go easy on you though!" amber cheers, finally looking a little less scared of you.

"oh ho, you're on. readysetgo!" you blurt out, leaving that soon-to-be loser in the dust.

"he- hey! wait, that's cheating!"

a few minutes later and you happen upon the aisle containing all sorts of medication. hayfever tablets, cold and flu shots, eye drops. now, where are you, you little sneak- a-ha!

the stunning blue sheen of the paracetamol packaging shimmers in the dim light. oh gosh, that new font looks excellent too. yes, this will be coming back to your house, gorgeous. with a new stock of sexy blue boxes tucked safely into your bag, your eyes spot a brand-new first aid kit, just begging to be claimed.

you may be dying, leaving your closest friend alone in an apocalypse, but god if you aren't winning right now!

as if to tell you that wasn't funny, your side twinges. maybe it's time to pop pills 12-14.

the screech of rubber soles on the floor snaps you out of your thoughts as amber comes barrelling down the aisle. before you can even react, she swoops past the kit you had just laid your sights on, hooking two fingers round the straps, and whooshes straight past you at the speed of light.

"a-amber?!" you manage to blurt out.

she skids to a halt at the other end of the aisle and grins. "guess that's my win! i'm a pro at running, you know. and i did say i wouldn't go easy..."

"w-wha..? cheating, i call cheating!" you exclaim in false indignation.

"... why are you two running around?" diluc sighs, already wise to your antics. you both mumble something about a competition and he rolls his eyes. "i see. while you were both... doing that, i managed to find cider for that cretin."

you flush with guilt and amber steps in to ease diluc's unimpressed attitude. "that should be everything we need here then! we should be able to use this place again in the future, it's really well stocked."

he hums in agreement then goes on to remind the group of their other task.

"reinforced vehicles, huh... where would we find something like that, i wonder?" amber taps her chin in thought. "perhaps we could look at the police station? my grandfather showed me the vehicles there." tap, tap, tap. gah, the cuteness again?!

simping tends to focus your mind and you find yourself realising the exact dreaded spot where you'd find them. "... tenbury tunnel... there were tons of military and government at the entrance... ugh."

just the thought of that bitch-ass tunnel has you turning in your grave prematurely. in case it wasn't made clear before: FUCK. TUNNELS.

"tenbury tunnel. we don't have a map but we could follow the road alongside it to the entrance." muses diluc, the idea, unfortunately, resonating in his red little head. "... but only if you're ok with it."

oh?

he seems to sense your confusion and his gaze softens a little. "it was only yesterday after all..."

ah.

the sweetness of his consideration brings a smile to your face. "i'll be alright, diluc. it was terrifying, sure, but we're just walking along the outside. if it feels too bad, i'll let you know... thank you for being so nice."

he strides off a little quicker than usual in response. but just as you think he might give amber a run for her money with that pace, he stops.

"... i believe kaeya told you this already but... no need to thank us so much."

and off he goes. you and amber smile to each other at his shyness and follow along.

the trek to the road alongside tenbury tunnel is a relatively easy one and you thank your ginormous brain for reminding you to chuck a few pills back before you go. surprisingly, you're not the one hanging a bit further back. instead, it's your resident speedster and you soon realise the cause of the delay.

"hey, your knee?!" you crow, bending down to examine the wound.

"oh, that's nothing. really, it's fine, Y/N." amber brushes off. "i've always healed up really quickly."

"huh... when did you get this?"

"when that security guard came, i just fell down a bit too hard. it's not even noticeable."

she... got this earlier? the scab has formed completely, despite it being maybe an hour ago.

"you weren't kidding when you said you healed quickly. diluc, maybe we should save this walk for another day?"

"no, no! i can walk, it's fine!" she reassures, speeding ahead. "look, we're already at the place where we picked you up!"

amber clambers over to the doors of the house where you first met her and you finally spy the dreaded fence and ledge. these motherfuckers have you surrounded.

"we really were shocked to find people inside these houses. there were just so many wanderers outside..."

quiet alarm bells ring inside your head at amber's words but you can't focus on them. the fence that you killed yourself on is standing half a metre above your head. you hadn't noticed how the impact cracked the wooden panelling a little before. just the thought makes your mouth sour with nausea.

"what's this wire doing here? i wonder what broke it?" a voice ponders out loud.

aether's scream seems to circle your head, the volume of it becoming unbearable. your eyes unwillingly locate the spot where his leg bled. the dried blood is black and crusted over. his blood. the gaping wound that had half his leg hanging off the bone. the way it smiled at you-

"Y/N?"

a steady hand graces your shoulder. "Y/N?" diluc repeats, his brows furrowing in concern.

"i-i'm alright." you manage to spit out without gagging. "i'm fine."

"we can continue this another time without you." he offers. and you want to take him up on it so bad...

but you promised. if your hellish experience yesterday could be the reason these people manage to escape, it's worth it. feeling the comforting pressure of diluc's hand ground you, you take a deep breath and clear your mind.

"it's ok, really. let's continue-"

"how exactly did you end up in a house across the street from tenbury tunnel?"

AHSKFJASOIDJFASIDJ

fuck. ok, cool. you can lie your way through thi-

"the truth, please. you said you escaped through a fire exit. how did that lead to you being passed out in that house?"

"ah, we wal-"

"you weren't aware of how many wanderers were on the street outside and expressed surprise that our group of 4 had been able to take them all out. do you expect me to just believe you got past them all?"

your silence is telling but come on?! how are you supposed to come up with a believable excuse for what can only be seen as teleporting? something tells you diluc will not appreciate another lie.

"don't laugh."

one eyebrow raises incredulously.

"we'd never laugh at you, Y/N. don't worry! whatever it is, we'll take it seriously." amber comforts.

god, they're really gonna make you say it.

"we..."

"you... ?" they both push in unison.

"we... ziplined. from there," a feeble finger digs at the looming concrete of the tunnel. "to there."

you point at the rickety-looking fence and wonder how you ever let aether convince you to step off. god, you're such a simpleton. a pretty boy just has to bat his eyelashes at you and you'll literally step off a ledge for him.

your self-deprecation is interrupted by a sneeze. or what wishful thinking hoped was a sneeze but likely isn't judging from the way amber's shoulders are shaking with laughter.

"y-you pfft... you ziplined?" she snickers, unable to look at you.

diluc however, is fully capable of gawking at you in disbelief. you've possibly never seen him look more disappointed. like he's your lawyer parent and you've decided to become a DJ. no, maybe more like you just asked him how pears work. or perhaps simply that you decided to zipline, without any brakes, above the heads of actual ravenous creatures, into a fence, using a random set of wires your dumbass friend found. yeah, that's the one.

"you're... an idiot. unbelievable."

"AT LEAST LET ME LAUGH IT OFF!" you cry out, completely ashamed. "it was aether's idea..."

"yet you agreed to it?" he scoffs.

"YES! we were trapped on the ledge up there and there weren't many other good options apart from suicide so yes, we ziplined and then the wire broke and it cut aether's leg and we crashed into that fence." you gabbled, just wanting to get it over with.

"so that's how his leg was cut?" asked amber. a solemn nod from you leaves her mouth agog.

"he passed out from the pain and i passed out from exhaustion after i took care of his wound. i mean we had been walking for so long and then we had to leg it up the stairs to get out of that damn tunnel..." you might have skipped certain details but it's no lie that you were very tired too.

wait.

that damn tunnel. the ledge up there.

"oh my goodness, i've just had an idea!" you whoop. how the hell did you not think of this before?

diluc grimaces. "i think the world is better off without your ideas..."

you brush off his nay-saying and march over to the side of the tunnel.

"we can use the ledge!"

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! supply run, angst, amber flirting, reliving tunnel-related trauma, we have it all. also, I really don't know how pears work like they don't really have a solid core like apples? who's holding all that shit together?

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope everyone had a good easter if you celebrate it!

Chapter 5: an afternoon of dying

Notes:

IT'S BEEN SO LONG, my spectacular fiction supporters! I'm really sorry for the... *checks last update*... HOLY FUCK TWO MONTH HIATUS!? very VERY sorry for the delay, I have had deadline stress that finally stopped punching me in the face on Monday, the whole sitch with my mum (unfortunately she is gonna be going through chemo but it's to make sure she lives a very long life so 10000% worth it), and just everything under the sun not wanting this fic to see the sun.

but we are here, it's summer, and this enby bitch will be posting UP.

and if I disappear again, I give you guys full permission to come to my house and beat me up. please, it's for the great good. tell my family I love them. here's the new chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

'"... a ledge."

doubtful is the only description for how diluc sounds. you push forward.

"when aether and i escaped through the emergency exits, we came out on this ledge, right? we were only a mile off the exit so if we can get back through there, there's just one mile of tunnel to get through instead of 6."

the silence as they both consider the idea is audible. "and this way in, it isn't blocked by anything?" pokes diluc.

"nope! no one else would have been able to access it to block it off for any reason."

"then... we have our way out!" amber yelps, jumping in triumph and then turning tail to leg it down the street. "amber, wait up!" you shout but she's already disappearing from view. diluc paces over to the wall and looks up.

"even with a car to boost us, it'll take something like a ladder to get up there."

"but it's a start, right? pressing forward, whatever it takes." you parrot diluc's words back to him.

he sighs for the billionth time today, but you could have sworn he was smiling for a second. hoooo, you are gonna charm the fuck out of this stone man.

because you need him to protect aether when you're gone.

"we should catch amber before she gets all the way back on her own." is all he eventually responds with.

the walk back to the library feels much lighter than before. if you were rhythmically inclined, you might even partake in a little victory dance. that'd charm the ass off of diluc because you has moves. maybe you're being cocky but god if things aren't looking up! you glide up the steps to the door with ease, as if you weren't bleeding all up in your insides and slowly dying. pushing through, you catch the end of amber's excited rambling.

"-and then it's only a mile to the end of the tunnel!"

5 faces practically glow with zeal. even jean is smiling wholeheartedly at lisa. now, if they aren't together, you just don't know who is. aether spots you from behind amber and bounds up to you excitedly. "you're back! and you found a way out for us!"

"that we did. though you're not going to get very far if you keep walking on your injury like that."

he chuckles and lazily throws his arms around you. "sorry, sorry. but really how did we not realise that an exit can also be used as an entrance?". you glance over to diluc and find his eyebrows have already risen to the heavens. "we're... not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed, aether."

"speak for yourself!"

"no, no. i'm talking mainly about you. i'm just an idiot because i get roped in."

your dear friend pouts and you find your worries melting away.

a clear, cool voice cuts through the hubbub.

"so get up onto the ledge and then?... would we walk the rest of the way?" questions kaeya, blowing the whole idea apart.

"that's true," contemplates lisa. "walking that would take around 20 minutes, maybe longer with aether's injury. we're already expecting a horde of those things so we would be fending them off for far too long."

"can't we hoist up some sort of vehicle and use that?" venti chips in.

"hmm, but what vehicle is light enough to be lifted up a ladder safely, but fast enough to get us through the tunnel? and there's still the case of aether's leg, depending on which vehicle."

venti sighs. "oh, woe. a shame really, i had hoped we'd figured things out...". the crushing of ideals was felt all around the room. vehicles, of course. you should have considered that before giving the others hope. curse your terminal bleeding and consequent desperation.

"if it comes down to it, one of us may need to sacrifice themselves."

you look across to the man beside you, who looks deeply troubled.

diluc lets out a breath as if he's been holding it in. "it's too risky for all of us to be in a car driving down the tunnel for the full 6 miles. if everyone else waits at the exit and gets picked up, the danger is minimised for all but one.". that... sounds right up your street.

"absolutely not." counters jean.

"jean-"

"if one of us doesn't make it, we can't consider ourselves having met our goal of escaping."

"i'll do it."

all persons spin to stare at kaeya in shock. "what?... you're not frozen in place, are you?" he japes.

"kaeya, there's no way we can let you risk your life like that-" begins lisa.

"i'd much rather that than us all dying."

diluc clears his throat. "i'll be the one to do it. you can only trust half of what kaeya says... at best."

eek, kaeya did not like that. "oh?" is all his debonair voice says, masking a wave of underlying anger. "and you think you're capabl-"

"nobody will be sacrificing themselves to get us through that tunnel!" erupts jean. and the whole room quiets, just like that.

aether turns to look at you in the silence, likely surprised that you weren't jumping at the chance to sacrifice yourself like always. you smile and shake your head at him to reassure him and he breaths out a sigh of relief.

... sorry, aether. you really don't intend to go through with it unless you have to. but if anyone's going to potentially die, shouldn't it be the dead girl walking?

in fact, maybe this was all part of some bigger plan, some pure happenstance that has coincidentally lined up to ensure everyone else gets to live, guilt-free. it makes you feel a little better to think of it that way. the images of people being eaten alive just yesterday have not incentivised you to want to die in that godforsaken tunnel.

"um... we could try hoisting up some electric scooters... they go pretty fast, i've heard."

it's amber that quietly breaks the silence.

"that's.. a good idea, amber dear. thank you. those of you going out on patrol tomorrow can go out and find some." smoothes over lisa, her hand comforting an uneasy jean.

venti smiles, also attempting to calm the stormy weather surrounding the group. "we can handle it, no problem! right, kaeya?"

kaeya just crosses his arms and waltzes off in what you can only call a hissy fit. diluc follows suit, heading outside swiftly. the door closes just hard enough to let you know he's unhappy. jean strides off with lisa in tow, probably to have a bitch. so just you, amber, venti, and aether decide to make dinner that night in silence.

once the steak and onion pies had cooked for long enough, it was the dreaded moment where one of each of you would need to take dinner to the crabby members of your consortium. "well... i'll take jean and lisa their food and see if i can help ease their frustrations." amber cops out.

you each look in shock at her blatant cowardice. "h-hey!" is all venti manages to blurt out before amber disappears round the door with 2 steaming pies. "... that chicken."

"um, just in case anyone forgot, i can't walk soooo i guess it's up to you two." rubs in aether. thank you for that, rat. now, before venti can open his mouth...

"i'll take this to kaeya" you start, yoinking a pie from the countertop.

"h-huh?! but we're in the same supply group, i shoul-"

"there's no way i can face diluc when i've been pissing him off all day. my prayers are with you, brother." you clap his back in solemn solidarity and take off.

venti's voice calls out from behind you. "it doesn't take a day for me to annoy him!"

it takes you a little while to locate the appointed 'licking of wounds' area but you eventually find kaeya out the back of the library. back when things weren't fucked, it looks like the avid library users crowdfunded the construction of a teeny fenced-in garden for that true reading experience. complete with brightly coloured wooden crates filled with bedding plants, outdoor sofas and cushions, and even a few strings of fairy lights, you can't help but respect the vision. and in the middle of this cozy reading nook that's been soaking in the evening sunlight, there sits an aggrieved man.

"evening~" you greet with a smile.

kaeya looks a little surprised to see you. "so they've sent you, hm? definitely not the worst choice." he turns away a little to continue nursing his glass.

"oh, i'm honoured." you sidle over and take the seat next to him, presenting the pie.

"... thanks."

he takes it and cuts away a small piece with his fork before popping it in his mouth. now, how to approach this...

"i do hope you're old enough to drink." he offers back a glass filled with fizzy clear liquid. "would be such a shame otherwise, if you could not revel in such bliss with me."

al... cohol? PROPER ALCOHOL IS HERE?!

"oh kaeya, i think you just became my new favourite person."

you quaintly but very quickly slide your fingers round the cool glass. the journey to have that same coldness caress your lips feels far too long. "my sweet love~ how i've missed you..." you whisper, sipping the refreshing beverage.

oh...

oh.

the bubbles roll down your tongue then pop into refreshing acidic tones of citrus and pear, complimented by notes of delicate musky wood. the way it coats the inside of your mouth and soaks into your very taste buds brings you close to the heights of pleasure.

simply unforgettable...

"hm, i figured you might be one to partake in the pleasures of wine." oh shit. when the ass did kaeya get here?

"a-ah, sorry... i got a little distracted." you struggle to regain some semblance of decorum. "this is really good!"

he chuckles. "a homemade concoction of mine. 1 part sparkling white wine mixed with 3 parts dandelion wine in a delightfully cold glass. i trust you enjoyed it?"

"oh man, it's up there with whiskey for me. refreshing, delicate, and so very complete. have you got a name for it?"

"death after noon. for when the evening can't come soon enough..." death after noon... why does that feel so lonely?

you both sit and drink in silence, bathing in the fleeting warmth of the sun. but that loneliness you felt just doesn't sit right. what happened between kaeya and diluc for things to end up this way?...

"kaeya?"

"hmm?"

"are you ok?"

"hm."

he doesn't say anything for a little while. oh god, maybe that was cruel of you to ask? especially after last time where that had you bursting into tears. it's not like you want him to cry but... sometimes it's much better to let something out instead of holding it in. coming from the queen of holding things in, you can trust that's been a lesson learnt.

"diluc used to be so cute as a young lad. considerate and kind with the strength to back his aspirations. there was once a time where i would have called him my sworn brother."

wait, what?

"you were... brothers?" you exhale.

"once, yes... but that was a long time ago. now, he's still that young lad in some ways but he's in a world of his own." he pauses to take a long drag of his drink and so do you. "when he offers to do something like that, there no doubt that he'll go through with it."

"so you... wanted to stop him? to protect him?"

he stifles a laugh. "aha, nothing that grandiose. just thought i'd take one for the team, i guess. can't let him have all the glory."

there's a pause while he stares into his glass for answers.

"this world... needs people like him. wouldn't you agree?"

there's something very wrong with that statement. "it needs people like you too, kaeya." you say firmly. and that seems to catch his attention.

"oh?"

"well, it's only day 2 of my treacherous venture into the elephantine realm of kaeya, but i can already conclude with certainty that you're someone i like having around. the others feel the same, that's why they were so against the idea."

perhaps you were a little too forward in your gushing, because the mirth expressed on kaeya's face has you growing red. not that you didn't mean it, of course. but he really doesn't have to smirk so hard, that cheeky bastard. you drink to hide your face.

"my, that honesty of yours is charming. to think someone i met only yesterday could cheer me up so much. here," he brings the bottles over to rest between you on the sofa and extends a hand for your glass. "let's drink a little more before the sun sets, shall we?"

you throw him a sulky glance to let him know his cheekiness will not be tolerated, and then hand over your glass. he grins further and pours you another one. when you finished the first, you'll never know.

the sun dips behind the back of the fence and a chilling shadow climbs over the both of you. just then, after drink number 5, you have the perfect idea. "hey, do you think we could reach the roof from here?" you pose, pointing a swaying finger upwards.

"the roof, " he considers his next words with caution, "... may not be the best idea." which only seals the notion in your head.

"i daren't say the word but kaeya, are you underestimating me right now?" you stride over to the corner of the garden next to the wall in protest. kaeya quickly stands to follow.

"o-of course not, dear Y/N, just... it may be safer if we both stay down here considering..." he trails off. oho, if this man thinks you're drunk right now, he has another thing coming. you give him one final pout in complaint and turn to find a good foothold. "Y/N?!" he darts forward to stop you but you're already standing on top of the fence.

"what? oh, don't look so worried! my reflexes improve when i drink."

you go to heave yourself up onto the roof with both arms before a pang up your right side reminds you of your limitations. man, fuck that noise, you're getting up this roof or you're dislocating your shoulder trying. you pull yourself up with one arm and swing round till your leg has you securely kneeling on the roof. success!

"Y/N? this doesn't seem to be a good idea-"

"kaaaaeya," you coo, pawing at him. "come, come."

there seems to be a moment of deliberation and then he hoists himself onto the fence. ha, the roof entices all eventually. you lean down to offer your hand and pull him up with more ease than he seemed to expect. before he can drag you back down, you careen over to the top of the roof and meet with the very last moments of sun.

"oh! worth it, look how beautiful!"

"very, but perhaps not worth the risk." he cautions. you plonk yourself down and before long, he's joined you. "it's fine~ i just didn't want this to end!" you admit freely. and for some reason, his eyes seem to widen at that.

"so very honest, you."

"can't afford to not tell people how you feel in a world like this." he doesn't seem to have a response for that. but the sun has just slipped below the horizon and you're distracted by the whole world shifting. "wow... hey, kaey-"

your arm slips as you turn to face kaeya, which sends you tumbling down the sloped roof towards your demise. legs, arms, anything scrambles to find something to hold onto but it's futile. really? after all this, you're going to die falling off a fucking roof? god, that's embarrassing. you reach the end of the tiles and brace yourself to slide right off when a strong force yanks you right back. and then there are two arms on either side of you and a strong chest pressing against your back.

"Y/N? jesus, that was close!"

kaeya.

your body instantly slumps into his in relief which lasts precisely one second before the pain kicks in. searing hot agony flashes into the side of you like you've just lain on hot coals. it takes everything, really every single part of your will not to scream bloody murder. fuckfuckfuckfuck.

"are you ok?!" the voice behind you yells, fuelled by adrenaline.

"y-yeah... i-i-"

and then everything switches off.

there's a tickling sensation on your nose like someone's taken a feather duster to it. though not unpleasant, you feel the urge to sneeze growing stronger. who the hell-

"-nearly fell off the roof?!" cries out a very familiar voice. then there's another sensation, warm and soft skin presses into your cheek. "oh, Y/N..." you turn a little to face the source of this warmth.

"we'll need to check her for injuries, now." another deep voice growls.

check... for injuries?

oh fuck no.

your eyes snap open at the very idea that all your hard work would go to waste, and then are immediately flooded with light and information.

"Y/N!"

another pair of arms wrap around you and everything feels so so safe. kaeya's here, aether's here, but they're... a little blurry? "aether...?" you call out, hesitantly. "i'm here, i'm here... you idiot! what were you thinking?"

"it was my fault." kaeya says from above you, and he looks like he actually believes it.

"what? no, no, it was all me being stupid and way too confident. you were the one who saved me, silly." you feel a surge of fondness that he's so worried about you. how sweet~ you allow him to place you down, ensuring you don't wince at the impact of your feet hitting the floor, and finally that tickling sensation from the fur on his jacket subsides. it's gonna hurt but fuck, you have to do it.

"i'm really sorry for causing trouble." you bow.

ahhhhHHHHHH-

"whoa, whoa, raise your head, Y/N! it wasn't your fault you slipped..." amber kindly assures you.

"to think you'd actually climb onto the roof while inebriated... inconceivable." snides diluc. gah, you can't even get mad at him. jean steps forward. "we should take a look to see if you have any injuries, just in case."

you think not.

"oh no, i'm fine. it would be a very different story if kaeya hadn't caught me though. i think i just need to sleep this off, so i'll be turning in for the night, uh, goodnight!" you blabber on, probably too quickly. right, that's done. bathroom. now. the weight of the gaze on your back as you leave in silence is heavy but you've got bigger problems.

even pushing the door open smarts, and you're pretty damn numb from dying in the afternoon so much. how tomorrow is gonna go is not even funny in a morbid way.

you hobble over to the sink and lean onto your not-fucked arm. the mirror in front of you reveals a very sweaty person who definitely doesn't have much more than a week left in her. thanks, mirror.

... it'll just be a quick look. just to see if anything's changed. just to remind you what your body looks like. you'll whip your shirt up like you're ripping a plaster off and then it's done.

3.

2.

1.

hm.

hmhmhm. hmhmhmhahahAHAHAHAH. god, this is just too much! this is too fucking much, what the fuck. are you transforming into a grape? what kind of crusty ass fence gives someone purple skin mold?

there's so much purple, festering skin that it covers half your back now. fuck days, you look like you have hours. you're bleeding out so badly, you probably won't even make it out of this bathroom. god, if anyone's followed you-

"Y/N? are you ok in there?"

ahaha. of course.

"yup! won't be a minute."

god, you can't wait to die.

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! IT'S KAEYA TIME, PEOPLE! i love that glorious man and *spoilers for 3.7* when that motherfucker hit us with the 'enchantée~", my soul actually ascended from my body. so yeah, I had to write him.

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope everyone is doing well, more updates to come in the next 1-2 weeks!

Chapter 6: being stupid is a full-time job.

Notes:

hello again, my pretty fiction patrons! as promised, next update 1-2ish weeks later 3

(please don't come to my house and beat me up)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

to your surprise, you do make it out of the bathroom. and through the corridor and back to the main space of the library where your makeshift bean-filled bed lies. and there, under the cover of darkness, you enjoy a delectable 3 hours of crying silently into your pillow before sleep eventually overcomes you.

the next morning is still very awkward but you've got even less time to worry about that than before. ideally, you need to find a safer way out of the tunnel for everyone so you can avoid traumatising aether and co. as much. not that having someone they know and care about die isn't traumatising but... well you'll at least die peacefully, in a digestible way. like oogway. or yoda.

breakfast is an uncomfortable affair but lisa, venti, aether, and amber work to pad the sharp glares that pass between diluc and kaeya. jean just looks exhausted, like she didn't get much sleep last night at all. and you think it will continue that way but suddenly a genteel voice directs itself towards you.

"i must say, i'm rather excited to have you join us on our supply run." kaeya remarks, leaning over the arm of his chair. "having your expertise will surely make today far more entertaining."

huh... guess he's over it? "i'm looking forward to it too! i'll be sure to help you both as best as i can." you smile.

"and if fate will allow, we'll be together once more tomorrow as well." he adds, while... gazing at you? does he want you to say something?

"Y/N will be coming with us tomorrow, if you don't end up getting her killed today." retorts diluc sharply. um, where is yesterday's wow sick knife skills, bro?

"yeah, you can't have her all the time!" amber pipes up indignantly.

kaeya sits back, seemingly content with the conflict he's caused. "my, aren't you all working her a little too hard? perhaps tomorrow, we can afford her a day's rest here at the library. i'll be happy to take watch of the front of the building with you, Y/N."

that's... surprisingly very considerate of him. you try to voice this.

"-if Y/N was here all day, she'd be with me." interrupts aether. his glare is formidable, reminding you once more that they really are related. you attempt to voice this too.

"unfortunately," jean cuts in, "Y/N skills are too valuable to leave her here at the library. the supply run yesterday could have been a catastrophe if she hadn't protected amber." she drags her glare from kaeya and looks at you apologetically. "... though i am sorry we are working you so hard." she finishes.

"please, don't worry at all. i'm truly grateful that i'm able to help you all so any work you throw my way, i'll gladly pick up. speaking of which, shouldn't we get going?" your eyes look across the room to find everyone a little lost in their own worlds. diluc and jean especially. strange. but no time for questions, these painkillers are helping less and less. you'll need to have a moment of silence for your liver soon.

venti pipes up to motivate everyone to their feet. "come on, everyone! let's see what's in store for today!"

you, kaeya, and venti don your empty backpacks, equip your knives and... HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A CROSSBOW? "v-venti? what the..." you exclaim and he grins in response.

"my crossbow? why, i found it during my solo adventure downtown! she's a beauty, don't you think?"

"my gosh, an excalibur mag air recurve crossbow with 16.5" quill arrows. this thing has a velocity of 305 fps, it's just magical! and the gen2 synthetic mainframe means it's around 1 LB lighter than most other crossbows. you're very lucky to have found this!"

your enthusiasm has venti and kaeya surprised. probably not the best impression you could have made. well, shit.

"you... sure know a lot about crossbows, Y/N!" says venti, his smile faltering a little. ugh, they probably think you're such a nerd. "ah, just the normal amount. well... normal-ish."

you scoot round to find aether and hug him goodbye. his reluctance is evident but what can you do? you probably have a day more in you, tops. no time to even think about it. and definitely even less time to stand around, not wanting to go.

a small hand slides into yours from behind. "let's hurry up and go so we can hurry up and get back, Y/N!" venti says reassuringly. "i'd like to drink with you tonight once we're done, ok?"

"sure! just with less roof-diving than yesterday." you smile and turn back to ruffle aether's hair. where there was once a pout, there now seems to be pursing lips. but what aether's mad about you have no idea. he whispers under his breath. "... god, it's taken even less time than usual. stupid suspension bridge effect."

it's another brilliantly sunny day outside and you can't help but feel it's a good sign. venti always seems to be in a jovial mood, and it makes him incredibly fun to be around. better yet, you were worried kaeya might still be a little down from yesterday but he actually seems more chipper than usual. or at least he seems to be smiling at you a lot, which must be good.

venti has the torn-out to-do list today and he sings his way through each task with a beautifully clear voice. "herbs and spices ~! coffee beans for jean~! pasta and rice and~! ... oh?" he stops in his tracks and turns to face us. "is there a place where we can find electric scooters? our plans are dashed without them."

you and kaeya stop to think for a minute. "there's a shopping center near here." kaeya thinks out loud. "perhaps there will suffice?"

"and there'll probably be some sort of hardware shop where we can find ladders inside!" you pitch in.

and so it's decided that you'll walk to 'walk to us' first, then detour to the shopping center nearby for ladders and scooters. man oh man, it's nice when a plan comes together smoothly. "say," venti says, gliding next to you like he's riding a breeze. "you do seem to know a lot about weapons. and those onions yesterday were just obliterated when you cut them. i hope we haven't accidentally picked up a serial killer, kaeya."

er, what...

!

oh god. they don't think you're a nerd, they think you're some sort of axe murderer.

"I'M NOT GUILTY... a-ahaha, i mean i'm not some kind of murderer. i just... um..." you trail off.

i'm not guilty. was that seriously the first thing you thought of? eek, time for damage control. "i... just happen to have some experience in the... military? yes, the military. but that was before, i'm just a regular university student now. like aether." both of them let out a doubtful 'hmmm' in unison. maybe it would have been better if aether explained. ugh, but then he'd exaggerate and that'd be too embarrassing to bear.

"well, i certainly don't think you're a bad person. so relax~" smoothes over kaeya. thank goodness someone believes you. come to think of it, kaeya's been helping you a lot.

"you know, i was meaning to say this earlier but... thank you for looking out for me so much. i'm fine with going out every day but it's nice to know you were considering my wellbeing and all."

kaeya seems a little surprised at this, but he quickly changes into a smile. "... no problem."

gosh, he's beautiful. you could probably stare at his face for hours. and though he seems like the heartless playboy type, he's actually a big part of the reason you haven't lost it over the past 2 days. you sensed a kindred spirit in him before but it really does seem like he gets you.

... there's no way he's single. which means there's a person out there he loved who is likely no longer alive. maybe that was why he was so eager to protect diluc, he's all he has left.

"um, you two?" venti questions, interrupting the staring contest between you. shit, were you looking at him that whole time?

"oh, sorry! got a little lost in thought there..."

kaeya doesn't seem to get as flustered. he just continues to smile at you. "couldn't stop gazing at me?"

"ah, you caught me~" you rub the back of your neck.

venti giggles. "i could write a song about the way you both stare at each other. and here i thought you and aether were dating."

son, what. son, WHAT.

"d-d-d-dd-d-d-d-d-d-d-ating? ah, um, no, nonono m-me and aether are, we're just, it's not-... gah." you dither about before collapsing your very red face into your hands. god has abandoned you it seems... there's silence as you whimper into your palms. through the cracks between your fingers, you spy both of them blinking at you once again.

"how cute." "so cute."

huh?!

before you can even react, they charge forward, smiling and chatting as if nothing even happened. you snap out of your confused daze to catch up just before they turn left.

the trip round 'walk to us' is short and sweet, mainly because you are rushing to find everything so you don't have to think about moments prior. ew, they probably think you're a nerd AND a virgin now. but just imagining aether and you d-dating and k-k-k-"GAH!" you shriek, shaking your head free of that thought.

"Y/N?!" venti's head pops round the end of the aisle.

"oh, sorry! just... made myself jump, aha." god, you need to pull your virginal ass together. you catch venti just before he heads back towards kaeya. "venti, should we stock up on some drinks for tonight?"

"oh, for sure! and then let's stop for lunch, my tummy is rumbling."

he turns to follow you back towards the wine section. "i apparently stepped on a landmine earlier, sorry about that." he giggles.

landmine? oh.

"ah, no that was all me being... anyways, it's fine. everyone tends to get the wrong idea, especially when we're both so clingy."

"ehe, you are really close. have you... known each other for a while?"

you reach the wine section and lean back to reminisce. "oh goodness, he hasn't been able to get rid of me for years. there i am on the playground, aged 5, crafting gourmet mud pies that could feed a whole family, a real gremlin of a child. why they let kids like me outside, i'll never know,"

he chuckles a little at this.

"anyways, i'm stirring and then i realise that i'm missing a tiny sprig of leaves to garnish, you know, like every fancy meal has. so i turn my back on my pie for a second, and suddenly, there's some girl treading all over my masterpiece. she darts off before i can get a word in and so i trudge after her to give a piece of my mind."

"but then?"

"then, i get a good look at her and the boy she's with and well..."

"wellll~?"

"they're both just so beautiful. can't beat up works of art, now can i? aether's always been cute and so has lumine- ah... that's the girl we're looking for. just imagine aether as a girl with short hair."

venti seems highly amused by this tale. "so you don't beat them up?"

"nope, no chance. i'm standing there staring at them like an idiot, just gawking away. but i must have looked pretty intimidating because aether's cowering behind lumine. she takes one step forward, looks me straight in the eye, and yells 'sorry!' in this terribly awkward way. god, it was cute."

"for someone so embarrassed by the idea of dating, you're definitely quite forward, you know~" venti hits the nail on the head.

"aha, i'm very aware of the hypocrisy of that. but i really can't help it, my honest thoughts just slip out. so she tells me 'sorry' and i kind of just back down and head back to my pies... what? i only went over there to start a fight after all. but funnily enough, the next day lumine comes charging right past my kitchen, only she doesn't step on my work this time. i look over to her and aether and they sort of beckon me and... well, we've pretty much been together ever since."

there's a pause as the image of those two kids beckoning you flickers over and over again. you're... never going to see lumine again. that hadn't even crossed your mind before. but if you die now, there's no chance, not even a glimpse.

how brutal.

"... how strange." venti breathes out, deep in thought. strange? he catches your eye. "oh, it's nothing. that's cute though! makes me want to write about you. though a love song would be more popular..."

"a love... ah, i-i forgot you're an idol, right? that's amazing, writing songs and all."

venti's expression simplifies, which has you wondering what he was thinking about. "writing songs comes as easily to me as good wine! it's finding the inspiration that's the challenge. though a girl and a boy searching for his twin across the land makes for great stimulation. say, what would you think of me writing a song about you?"

a song? "i'd be honoured of course but... are we really all that interesting?"

"yes, you're perfect! full of adventure and beauty, there's no one else i can use for my muse." he links arms and begins to tug you towards the entrance, bag clinking. when he managed to grab those bottles, you couldn't say.

lunch passes uneventfully and you have to remember to bask in the comfortable, genuine simplicity of it that feels so out of place in the apocalypse. venti and kaeya chatter and bicker and chew on stale bread sandwiches. the sun shines on, the breeze is mild and pleasant, and you even spot a family of foxes crossing the road in broad daylight. for them, it must be wonderful not to have so many humans around. you wonder... does venti have family he has lost?

...

it's probably best not to ask questions like that. you've been so lucky that both members of your family are still alive. well, you don't know that but you also just can't see lumine dying from anything but a nuke. their families might not have been so lucky.

you finish up and make the trip to the shopping center. 'amazing mall' screams the huge sign above. you'll see about that, mall, you shall see. upon closer inspection of the front, there are a few scooters lined up on their charging bay.

"thank the winds, we did it! there's enough for everyone too!" whoops venti, hopping aboard one.

"thank the winds? you do come out with the strangest things sometimes..." sighs kaeya. yikes, the idol persona seems like a pain to keep up. he turns to you. "how do you suppose we should move these back to the library?"

"oh, that's a good point... maybe there'll be some sort of heavy-duty utility trollies inside?" and so inside you go. or one would think it would be that easy. everything was fine until you peered through the glass of the front doors. but one look into that vast, dark space and you seem frozen to the spot.

what the hell? you've been in so many worse situations before, this is just a quick supply run. the others (empaths) sense your discomfort.

"Y/N? something on your mind?" queries venti.

"i... guess i just get nervous in places where we could get trapped. in the tunnel, we thought everything would be fine but..."

"venti and i can handle this, feel free to wait for us here-"

"no, no! it's fine, i can do this. i'd be too worried about you out here."

you squeeze through the gap in the automatic doors and stride off, trying to ignore the dread building in your legs. it's all good, you're good, life's good. in and out, baby! the pair behind you soon catch up and switch on some flashlights from their pack. light floods the doors of shops left behind, mannequins still wearing last week's attire. it's eerie, seeing somewhere normally so full of life be so empty and quiet.

"ehehe, what to steal today!" grins venti, eyeing the liquor store. you tap his bag, clinking the bottles together, and he pouts. "just a little more won't hurt..."

"are you trying to decimate our livers? we all know what 5 drinks can make me do, and i get the feeling you'll be just as reckless."

venti goes to respond but a hand signal from kaeya has you both fall silent instantly. a few moments later, you watch as one stumbles aimlessly through the racks of a clothing shop to your right. you reach for your knife and extend it in front of kaeya to see what he thinks. he shakes his head and so you wait for the fashion enthusiast to pass.

once it disappears, there's a long exhale from behind. "wah, it's been a while since i've seen one. gives me the heeby-jeebies." venti shudders.

"just one should be ok for now, but stay on your guard. let's check for a hardware store." warns kaeya. he strides ahead and you feel like you've time-traveled back to yesterday, watching the same exact exit by a redhead instead.

"... gosh, they're similar."

"who? kaeya and diluc? ah, two very alike."

you both stand up straight and follow after kaeya. he takes a right down a particularly narrow corridor and you feel your heart rate increase. man, that tunnel really did a number on you.

"Y/N?"

"h-huh? oh, yes?" you whisper, distracted by the path ahead. you could have sworn you just saw something move.

"... shall we play a prank on kaeya?"

"uh-huh... wait, what?" did he just say a prank?

"great, let's go!"

venti grabs your shoulders and steers you forward before you can think to be scared. he rushes past kaeya and bursts into the hardware shop with no hesitation. "uh, venti? shouldn't we check there's no-"

"it's fine, there's no one here! um... a-ha! quick, in here."

you find yourself in the pitch black back of the store with only a green luminescent fire exit lighting your way. then venti spots a locker and bundles you inside before clambering in himself. it's a mess of you, venti, and a set of clothes hangers but the moment you hear kaeya's voice calling out from the other room, you both fall silent.

well, you try to.

but the joy of playing pranks gets to you both and you're all but howling with laughter by the time kaeya pokes his head round the door. "ah, you both must be in here. such slackers, leaving me to find all the items we need." he sighs.

footstep after footstep is heard. kaeya must be checking each locker. oh, wait! if he spots venti's green hat in the light of the fire door, he'll know you're in here?! quick thinking has you lean towards venti so your head covers his and he settles into your shoulder, still chuckling away. "venti," you whisper, trying not to burst out laughing. "you gonna make me laug- pfft"

it's your face in his shoulder now, holding back a cackle. you can feel his body shaking with laughter, or is that yours? "wh... when he turns back" he struggles to spit out without his sides splitting. "get him then!"

you just barely hold it together for kaeya to turn his back and then BWAHHHHH!

the look on kaeya's face is priceless! gah, if only you still had cameras, this one would have been framed and signed on your wall right next to your calendar! he takes a moment to find the words as you cry with laughter on the floor, his eyes wide as the moon. "you... will both pay for that." he seethes, a dangerous smile on his face. "what if i had taken my knife to you, hm?"

"... ehe?"

"DON'T YOU 'EHE' ME!"

"now, now, i would have been able to parry it." you try to stand up. "i...pfft, really didn't expect you to look so shocked! oh, if only the others could have seen your face!"

"it would have been too good! another successful prank completed by yours truly~" venti begins. "and yours sincerely!" you finish, grinning at your partner in crime.

"honestly, your friendship is not a welcome development. in any case, they have ladders near the front but nothing to wheel the scooters on."

"i'm sure we'll find something somewhere! come on, Y/N- ow!"

venti whimpers a little but you can't see well enough to determine what's happened. "venti?"

"ouch... there's a box here. that green thing on the wall isn't very effective..." he grumbles a little.

"you mean the fire exit?" you turn to stare at the other green man in the room. "i'm surprised it's still on, considering the shopping center has no electricity. but then again, so were the ones in tenbury..."

tenbury tunnel.

"oh... ohohohohahahahhHAHAAH! oh my god, i'm an idiot!" you laugh, "how have i lived this long with no brain?!" you and aether need to go back to primary school at this point.

"uh, has Y/N finally lost it?" questions venti.

"that would seem to be the case." concludes kaeya.

"there's fire exits, in the tunnel. exits out of it right at the 5 mile point!"

there's silence as the two fear for your marbles. then, venti catches on.

"exits... to the outside world!"

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! we got to spend some quality time with venti the bar- idol. baridol. found out some more about how mc met aeefs and lumi, pranked kaeya, and discovered a new possible way for getting into that darned tunnel!

tn: suspension bridge effect is where if there's a person who does something scary like crossing a suspension bridge (think of like a rickety old bridge between two ledges), the fear causes their heart to pound. if they then see someone they are attracted to, they mistake the heart-pounding as falling in love with that person. aether's lamenting because their situation makes it more likely that people will fall in love with Y/N and make his life harder 😭😭

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope you guys enjoy and see you v soon!

Chapter 7: who the fuck gave you a license?

Notes:

evening, my patient fiction perusers! we are a little late but still here, still queer, you know the usual...

enjoy the new chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

there's a moment of perfect harmony between the three of you.

"exits... means it can also be used an entrance!"

"but where do the exits lead out to?"

"the door we passed before we escaped was on our right so it must be-"

"on the other side of the tunnel?"

"but what's on the other side?"

"it would have to come out to an assembly point, so somewhere big-"

"there'll be maps in the library on it! there must be."

"and once we find our way in, it'll be accessible by foot."

"but we'd still have a mile left to walk..."

ah. shit.

the brainstorm screeches to a halt.

"wouldn't bikes work?" you ponder aloud. kaeya shakes his head. "still too dangerous and we'd be on them too long once we're inside-"

"no, no, motorbikes!"

their eyes widen at that. "can we do that?"

"of course! if you put a motorbike in neutral, it doesn't have a parking brake so you can just roll it along like a heavy-ass bicycle!"

2 sets of eyes blink at you like you're a genius.

"Y/N, that... that might just work..." kaeya whispers into the stagnant air of the store.

"ohhhhhohoho, we are out of here!... oh god, diluc's gonna have my head for not thinking of this sooner." you gasp in horror. venti attaches himself to your arm and begins dragging you to the exit. "we've gotta let the others know!"

"ahaha, come on kaeya!" you turn back to a contemplative kaeya. you catch his eye and spot... relief?

oh.

he really was going to go through with it.

the walk (or speedrun more accurately) back to the library feels truly liberating this time. you run the idea through your head a few times and there really are no huge setbacks! of course, you'll need to find motorbikes and pray to the lord that no asshats have blocked up the route but apart from that, you're golden! it's a good fucking day, woooooo!

spurred on by the good news, you find the hands of your compadres and squeeze them in turn, swinging them up and down like a little kid. they laugh and squeeze back. you barely feel your injuries, you're so happy.

"ehehe, they'll probably be so worried we're back early with no ladders or scooters."

"man, fuck ladders and scooters! we're going to ride out of this city looking sexy as hell! maybe we should find some leather jackets..."

"oh, i can imagine you'd look good in leather..." teases kaeya.

"you couldn't handle me in leather~" you return, matching his cheeky grin.

a cough from your left and a squeeze of your hand warns you to reign it in…? ohhhh, probably bad for one-half of his inspiration to be buddying up to someone else.

the library arrives in front of you sooner than expected. "kaeya, venti, Y/N? what are you doing back so early, dears?" questions lisa, a hint of concern in her voice.

"oh lisa, it's-"

"our information will cost you an apple~"

...

an apple. venti is really out here trying to swindle. "information?" she questions, then her smile turns sinister. "you'll tell me right now, venti." he takes one look at her frailly disguised anger and straightens up. "... y-yes, ma'am."

you encounter more surprised and slightly concerned faces as you enter the library, perhaps more at lisa's scary eyes than anything else. "Y/N?" calls out one particular voice.

"aether!"

he bounds up to you like always but instead takes hold of your shoulders and checks your body for injuries. ah, better cut that short. "you're back early... did something happen?"

a warm chuckle vibrates in your chest and you sink into his arms, pressing every inch of you into every inch of him. "you could say that..."

it's only when you feel his arms come up to hold you and you feel yourself stop tensing that it really hits you. everything hurts. you've felt lightheaded for hours. your head hasn't stopped pounding since you woke up and that can't just be your hangover. you... don't have much time left.

maybe you tell him tonight.

that god-awful decision aside, there seem to be two eyes boring into your back. or maybe higher? what could kaeya and venti be... it's aether? they're staring pretty hard at him, you can sense that much. you turn back just in time to see them exchange strange glances. weird.

but before you can raise any questions, jean rushes over, worry painting her face. "lisa, everyone? what's happened?"

kaeya and venti give you a smile and you turn to face her, determined. it's show time, and show you fucking will. "aether, do you remember our joyous trip in tenbury tunnel?" you begin.

he shakes his head. "joyous is not the word-" "yes, yes but do you recall what happened once shuffle and groan walked in on our moment?"

he stares blankly at you. "shuffle and… groan? please tell me you didn't name them..."

"oh... i guess i never told you that joke. anyways, we ran away right?"

"right... up the stairs then through more fire doors then up more stairs?"

"right! and then...?" you push.

"there was the door to the outside or a fire exit blocked up with some furniture. so we picked the door outside." you pause to let his little brain catch up. "... am i missing something?"

oh, brother. "if we can't use the door to the outside but that fire exit is pretty much unobstructed…"

"uhhhh…"

"are you saying we could use that fire exit to get into the tunnel?!" finishes amber, saving aether from having his brain collapse.

"mmhm! a way into the tunnel that's not up the ledge. the fire exit route must end on the other side of the tunnel but it has to be wheelchair accessible." you conclude. "which means we can bring in motorbikes. that last bit of the tunnel will take less than a minute at full speed!"

"less than a minute... gosh, you're smart and a cutie!" coos lisa. you smile giddly at the praise. jean seems to be thinking it through in her head. "we'll need to find bikes... a wheelchair for aether should cover that issue... can't skip on fuel..."

diluc crosses his arms. "not that it's a bad plan but... it's hasty to assume we'll be able to use bikes without some lessons."

"ah, that's true-"

"if it's lessons you need, Y/N should be able to teach us all!" pipes up aether. gah, save you from this embarrassment, please.

"you know how to ride?" an inquisitive diluc turns to you. you sigh. "... yes. but if aether starts exaggerating again, i might just forget."

"i'm not exaggerating! you look so cool- ah i mean, you're very experienced."

hmmmmmmmmmmmm. this kid.

you brush it off. "so, diluc? problem worked, right?" he just sighs which you take to mean wow, i'm in the presence of greatness! but you get the feeling this stone man is warming up to you.

"then, it's decided!" wraps up jean. "we'll set off for tenbury tunnel with motorbikes as soon as we've found our entrance point."

she looks around at each of you before speaking again.

"we've gone through so much already to get to this point. and we've had to leave important parts of our lives behind in the process. but we are finally close to the end. i know it's a lot to ask but please, join me on this final push and i promise you we will get out of here. every single one of us."

she looks to kaeya, then diluc.

"now... onwards! there's work to do!" she announces joyfully and everyone cheers. you're so caught up the moment that you find you're agreeing to a promise that will never come true. but a twinge in your side brings you right back down to earth.

aether looks the happiest he's been since you got here.

you can't tell him tonight.

the plans are finalised: you'll be heading out with diluc and amber tomorrow to look for working bikes and possibly the day after too. venti and kaeya will stock up on fuel while lisa, aether, and jean will go through the maps in the library to locate the entry point. once everything is together, you'll give lessons to... right, who can drive here?

"i'll clear a path using one of the few guns we picked up." declares diluc.

"never did pass your test, did you?" mocks kaeya, earning him a crazy harsh glare. that has you wondering, has this rich boy ever needed to pass? "can you drive, kaeya?" you throw back at him with an innocent look. he doesn't seem to have an answer and this apparently amuses diluc to no end.

"guess it's best if the rich boys aren't the ones riding~" ends venti, reading your mind. "i've taken a few joy rides since the outbreak started myself."

uhhhh-

"oh, my grandfather used to... i passed my test a while ago."

uhhhhhhhh…

"so that's amber and venti... um, lisa or jean, do you drive?" there's an awkward silence as lisa looks incredibly uncomfortable. jean steps in. "ah, it's probably best if lisa doesn't drive-"

"i am perfectly capable of driving, jean." lisa cuts in. ooh, a lover's spat?

"i-i know that, but you failed your test 25 t-"

"if i was such a lost cause, dear, why would you come to every single test, hmm?"

...

25 times. poor jean...

jean turns from a seething lisa to face you. "i used to ride with my dad so i have some basic knowledge. though a refresher course would be much appreciated, Y/N."

"ahaha, no problem!" you feel a tug on your arm. "Y/N, you haven't offered to teach me yet." grumbles aether.

"my dearest friend, it took you 10 minutes to hobble 2 metres towards the kitchen yesterday. you will not be riding a motorcycle."

"you could still ask." his face is the spitting image of the :( emoji.

"aether, light of my life, walk to the front doors and back then i'll ask you."

tonight is much less awkward than yesterday. venti takes it upon himself to declare a drinking party and has since chugged his way through half the wine. how he's still on his feet, you'll never know. kaeya's sipping away next to him, looking very in his element. god, that chest window does terrible things to your mind. and considering how he's just tugged on his shirt a little to widen it, you sense he may be onto you. ah, there's that smirk. he definitely knows your mind is a resident of the gutter.

you'd bet money that his mind is probably your neighbour though.

jean and diluc seem to be having a somewhat serious discussion about something but lisa and aether's faces suggest otherwise. you inch closer to catch the topic.

"wait, you had a pet tortoise?" questions aether in disbelief.

lisa chuckles. "a little strange, isn't it? but jean can't leave anyone alone if she knows they need to help. i do so love that about you..."

colour floods to jean's cheeks and she begins to fidget. "i don't believe it's... that strange. you understand, right? diluc?"

"of course. i had one too when i was a kid. what's so strange about it?"

right. somehow that makes so much sense. and by god, it's cute! two weirdos of the same caliber. distracted by the adorable conversation, you fail to notice a very drunk individual approach you.

"Y/Nnnnnnnnnn~" venti leans forward and nuzzles his head into your shoulder. "Y/Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~"

ah, this one definitely got a headstart. "hello, venti! i'm guessing the wine's pretty good?"

he pouts. "you wouldn't haaave to guess if you had draaank with me."

"ah, sorry! i was just cleaning up from dinner. but i'll join very soon, i promise." the body clinging to yours doesn't respond. "venti?"

"... even though i'm writing a song for you..." he grumbles so quietly you almost miss it.

"hmm?"

he lifts his head to pout at you harder. "eeeeven though i'm writing a whole blasted song about you, you still haven't said you're my fan~"

"huh?"

he pulls back, stumbling a little. "hmmmppphhhh~"

this man really just said 'hmph' out loud. but you guess if he's writing about someone, it makes sense that he'd want them to be his fan. "i couldn't say i'm your fan and mean it if i've never heard you play."

"gaaAHH-" "but if you play for me, i'm sure you'll be so amazing that i'll just have to become your fan!" he blinks at you, considering the arrangement. "... playing you a song will cost an apple too."

"then, it's a deal!"

content, he leans back in to wrap his arms round your waist and bury his warm face in the crook of your neck. your hands naturally come up to greet him, settling on the back of his neck. "... good. y-you're good." he drawls.

oh man, how cute~ "hehe, you're good too, venti-"

a sharp 'aHEm' is all but yelled from beside you.

"what, exactly, is going on here?" says aether shortly, his finger and foot tapping in unison. "oh, nothing much. what's going on with you?" you respond, because what else would you say?

"oh i see, this is just nothing much, is it?" the tempo of his tapping increases. venti's finally realised aether's there and careens backward to stare at him innocently. "aether! w-why are there 3 of you?"

"3... i understand that you're drunk but that doesn't mean you can just grab Y/N's... Y/N like that."

you're confused. he does this to you all the time, whats the bfd? unless… "aww, you want a hug too?" you tease. he's mad someone else was getting his usual… but then again, the glare from aether tells you that might not actually be the case. why's he so mad though? god, where's lumine to decode when you need her.

"ah, aether's jealous~" ribs venti. jealous? so you were right then?! gah, what the hell?

"venti, get your hands off of Y/N. now."

oh fuck, now he's really mad. he's even stopped tapping and that's when you know shit's fucked. you wrestle venti off and load him onto a very angry aether, quickly apologising and exiting the scene. you'd rather die in that godforsaken tunnel than die by an aether.

as you head to the kitchen for a glass, you run into amber.

"ah, Y/N! just going to head out for some air!" she breezes past you.

… hm.

kaeya calls to you from the other room. "hurry along with that glass, Y/N!"

but you're columbo and there's just one more thing, maybe a few things you have questions about. you haven't been able to stop wondering about this mysterious grandfather of hers. it's for that reason that you follow her out, attempting not to draw the attention of aether. avoiding his choice words would be best.

"i'll be back in a bit, kaeya! don't get too pissed without me."

you ignore kaeya's complaints, pull open the doors to the outside, and spot amber sitting on the steps, lost in thought. so let's review. a grandfather she tries not to talk about, a generally sunny disposition that seems exhausting to keep up, and an apocalypse. perhaps a listening ear will be all she needs from you.

time to work for a living! question number one.

"hey, can i sit with you?" you ask.

the bubbles formed from her drifting conscious pop and she turns to look at you in surprise. "Y/N? oh, sure." she scoots over and you lower yourself down on the steps as inconspicuously as you can. ouch. dying elegantly does not seem a likelihood for you.

"i wanted to ask about your knee. how's it doing?"

"huh?" amber seems to have genuinely forgotten about it. "oh, right! ahah, it's fine really!"

one look at the injury and you can see why. the abrasion on her leg has pretty much completely disappeared. sure, you've seen scrapes heal quickly before but the speed of this is unprecedented. to have not only scabbed over but actually healed...

"don't worry about me, Y/N! I've always been a quick healer. those hashbrowns from earlier made me feel a lot better too!" the slight quiver in her voice whips your concentration into shape. why the fuck are you worried about a scab (or lack of) when amber's clearly not ok? "... thanks for worrying about me." she finishes, which just seals the concern in your mind.

...

how to approach question number 2...

"nice night. i can see why you wanted to come out here." you muse, getting lost in the rich indigo sky. without street lights, the light pollution had all but disappeared, leaving nothing but stars upon stars to watch over those left.

"how are you, Y/N?" oh what now? "you seem to be struggling a little at times, though i don't always know why." amber's eyes are soft and comforting, which is very sweet but not really where you wanted to take this.

"i'm... well, i won't say i'm amazing because that just isn't true. but i'm getting by. aether seems happier already. i think having more people around you tends to give you more hope. but we both kind of suck at expressing our feelings so i'm never really sure if he's ok."

you slowly revolve round to get lost in the night sky once more. moonlight paints the clouds a cornflower blue. they're almost glowing.

"we haven't known each other long, but i really do admire how strong and courageous you are, amber. it takes a lot to stay as bright and positive as you are in a situation like this. i wonder, has this always been the case?"

you spot her rubbing her neck in embarrassment. ah, maybe you overdid the gushing again… "ahaha, i don't know about all that. actually, when i was younger, some could say i was a bit of a troublemaker!"

"you... a troublemaker? now, there's a name i wouldn't expect for you. was it due to your merciless running competitions? ooh, did you encourage others to bet on your racing too? a good old wager, man that takes me back..."

"no, no! it wasn't anything like that! i just had lots of energy to burn so i kind of whirled round, causing trouble. but they could never catch me to reprimand me either, hehe."

"my, what a deviant~" you tease, and she pokes your arm in protest. "it was never too bad. my... grandfather was usually the one to get me out of trouble."

ah, here we go. "oh, you mentioned him before. part of the police, right?"

there's a little silence that follows which has you turn back to amber just in time to catch a tender look in her eye. "you remembered... ah, y-yes! part of the police! actually, he was made chief recently!"

"whoa, chief?! that's amazing..."

made chief just in time to deal with all this. jesus, that's rough.

"he really was. he could handle anything, no matter how big or stressful. he was always the one to come rescue me when i finally got caught. and every time he'd take responsibility and protect me. his love was like a warm breeze that wrapped around me, keeping me safe."

"sounds about right. you turned out so well, after all."

she turns a delightful shade of red. "jeez, you're just trying to embarrass me now!" she whines.

"sorry~ anyways, continue"

amber's eyes drift downwards again, losing herself to thought. "when the outbreak happened, he went and found me immediately. i'm sure it was crazy for you too but... so many people came to the police station first. they were already doing what they could. but people were desperate so they started trying to break in for the weapons locker."

a hand tentatively reaches up for her headband and fiddles with one of her 'ears'.

"we were lucky the order to start sending people out of the city came through when it did. my grandfather and all available squads in the area guided everyone they could to the crossing. he... he promised me he'd be back as soon as the crossing was secure and people started to file across. i was so proud he was leading the charge. he just made everyone feel like it would be ok."

the crossing. perth crossing. shit.

"so i waited at the police station for him. and i waited, and i waited... he never came back. i decided to go looking for him but... police officers who survived the bombing came back... they said he was a hero. he saved hundreds from the attack. but they couldn't find him when it was all over."

amber's eyes are glazed over, reliving each moment, and her body hunches forward when she finally gets the words out. it's... hard to watch. but being there for her matters more. "i... i am proud. he died the way he lived, protecting the people. there will never be another chief like him, not with the way he could bring people together. he was the one who made me want to grow up and become strong as quickly as possible, no matter what it took."

those are a lot of fancy words. no doubt that you believe her determination. but there's something more. that doesn't seem to be all she wants to say. maybe... it's just what she believes she's allowed to say.

"i think i understand some of what you feel. lumine's the same, she's always been this amazing person with this amazing job. she helps so many people and i've always really respected her for it. but..."

a little part of you wants to hold back. but it wouldn't be fair to ask amber something if you couldn't even admit it yourself. "... sometimes, i wish she didn't leave." heat flushes your entire body. "i wish she had just stayed home that day. and then she would be here with us. she wouldn't be saving people she... she doesn't even know when her own family are... if she were here, things would be-"

"ok." amber finishes. you look up and see exactly what you're feeling in her expression. she straightens her back and meets your gaze. after a long pause…

"i-i can't tell you."

"that's ok."

"it's too shameful."

"it's alright if you-"

"i really can't!"

now you're no intellectual but it seems like amber might want to tell you something. time to change tactics. "it's really that shameful?"

she nods.

"as shameful as... not knowing how to say croissant for most of my life?"

"huh?"

"or spelling my second name wrong on every document until i was 11?"

"your name?"

"oh, no wait. is it as shameful as driving on the wrong side of the road during my driving test? because that one was pretty bad. i went the wrong way on the roundabout before she stopped me. how i eventually passed, i do not know."

"wait, really?" she giggles. "you did that?"

"yup! ah, but best not tell anyone else that if i'm supposed to be teaching you how to ride..."

she settles into a smile. "my lips are sealed!"

"good. so really, there's no one here more shameful than me. i'm mad at my missing bestfriend for being a good person, i still can't really say croissant. don't even talk to me about driving!"

you place a caring hand on amber's arm. "if the only thing stopping you from saying how you really feel is that you're ashamed, i promise you i am in no position to judge."

she looks completely torn. her mouth opens and closes while her head scrambles to make a decision.

"i..."

you have no idea whether she'll want to tell you her real feelings.

"i..."

but you hope she will. for her. maybe a little for yourself.

"i..."

"i'm so MAD!"

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! we got a possible new plan for getting into that darned tunnel and new amber angst just dropped. providing for all is what I do, y'all!

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope you're having fun, wherever you're reading from!

Chapter 8: you tried.

Notes:

beautiful evening is it not, my barbilicious fiction babes! so sorry it's been a minute, I've been putting this chapter off...

first thing, don't me for ANY of the physics or science in this chapter, it is drama only. second thing, I'm not super great at angst so please be kind 😭😭

hope you guys enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

oh snap.

"he just left... without even telling me what was going on! he was so worried about everyone else, and yeah that's fair but... but what about me? don't I deserve to still have my grandfather with me?" her hands gesture wildly as she lets it all off her chest. "he... didn't even think about the fact his only family would be left to fend for itself. i want to be strong but... i'm not there yet. who knows what would have happened if jean hadn't..."

"... oh, amber." your gaze grows glossy. of course, she's mad. she was left behind. he was so worried about other people that she feels forgotten. amber's tough and brave but she's still just a young girl trying to figure things out.

there's a long pause as amber tries to reign in her feelings. "i'm an awful person, aren't i?" she wraps her arms around her knees tightly and buries her face.

"oh, just terrible." you retort sarcastically. "how dare you." your sarcasm catches her attention and she turns to look at you with a lost expression. "come on, amber. that's no way to treat yourself. you love your grandfather and so, you're mad that he put something above you. makes sense to me but somehow, that makes you awful? doesn't beating yourself up about something so obvious and normal seem a bit weird?"

she huffs. "well, what am i supposed to do? what choice do i have but to dislike myself? how can i be angry at someone so wonderful all because i wanted him to put me first? and now... that he's gone. what do i do with all the love i have for him? where do i... where do i put it?"

a tear escapes down her cheek and she rubs it away frustratedly.

"you're expecting too much from yourself. you'll only ever be disappointed if you believe you can just continue on without being upset about this. let yourself be mad without judgement. as for your love for him, hmm... i guess..."

where to put it...?

"perhaps, you can give it to the group?"

"the group?" she parrots, weakly.

"it won't be the same, of course. but... it'll be better than bottling everything up. dedicate yourself to the group just like you have to your grandfather. the people we live with now are more than deserving, right?"

"hmm..." she taps at her chin. "diluc's grumpy. kaeya can really get on my nerves, especially when he starts making trouble. but jean's kind. she's really amazing and i want to support her in any way i can. the others are all kind. maybe... maybe i can learn to love them. i..."

amber's cheeks glow red, but she seems to force herself to look at you. "i... i like you too, Y/N..."

her words, her expression, it's just so affectionate. you feel your face heat up in response before cracking a smile. "i like you more, amber! seriously, you're just too sweet." and you really mean that. she's got your heart working 20 sets, 100 reps right now.

apparently, cheeks can do more than glow, and amber's face is the proof.

"it will take a long time to heal. but i promise you, these feelings won't last forever. and in the meantime, you can do whatever you need to. scream, cry, sit there in complete silence. tell me about your day, or what you want for breakfast tomorrow. i'll stay with you all night, if that's what you want."

...

well, that's weird. you'd think after delivering such sexy support, she'd say something. but amber just stares at you with this strange look in her eyes. one you don't quite understand. she's still bright red too. after a while, she leans over and curls her fingers around the fabric of your shirt.

"amber?"

"just... just for a little while."

you catch on. gosh, she's cute. you'll need to watch out or you're really gonna fall for her and that's not helping anyone. dying on the person who loves you would be a shitty move.

...

maybe, you can afford to indulge yourself for tonight.

your arms comfortably slide round her shoulders and squeeze her tight. her head naturally comes to rest on your shoulder. if there's one thing you know how to dos, it's a bear hug. mama bear, bitch. the night finishes with your arms getting so numb you forget you have them and then you both head back inside. venti's whining turns out to be nothing compared to kaeya's passive aggression. man, you just can't catch a break.

but at least, amber looks a little better.

the next day comes and god, it's a fucking drag. you woke up with the taste of blood in your mouth, likely a thank-you gift from your lungs for that fence bullshit. and still somehow, your tongue still feels like a dried-out raisin and you can't seem to stop drinking water and then sweating it out.

bastard internal bleeding.

aether's finally noticed something up with you. poor boy has no idea. "hey, Y/N, are you feeling ok? you look kinda pale."

"mm? oh yeah, just woke up with a pounding headache." it's not a lie. but it's missing some truth too. you chickened out yesterday, but you really need to tell him today. and that sad little face of his isn't making things much easier.

"you aren't feeling well, Y/N?" questions jean from behind. fuck, they're coming in droves.

"it's alright, just a headache! i can still help out today..." maybe, you can prolong your expiry date a little? "i might need to take tomorrow off though, if my head still hurts then..."

"of course! that's no problem, Y/N, you've already been working so hard for us. you really should take more time to rest."

oh?

"i should rest, should i? honestly, jean."

"what?" she genuinely looks confused. "did i say something odd?"

aether shares your exasperated expression. "you don't get to say that, jean, but i will. Y/N, you're taking the day off tomorrow."

"... only if i still feel bad."

god, you're full of shit.

diluc and amber instantly spot your fatigue too. guess there's no hiding it. but you need to at least finish helping them today. AHHHHH, you were supposed to help them MAKE IT TO THE TUNNEL! what a bitch this is...

"Y/N?" amber's first to bite. "are you sure you're feeling up for today? there's no harm in taking it easy. getting rest is essential and you've been working so hard already."

"i'm alright, just a headache. but i want to at least get the motorbikes today. if i still feel bad tomorrow, i'll take the day off, ok?"

"alright then. but just say the word if you need my help!"

it's diluc's turn next. "if you aren't up for today, then just stay here. you'll get us all killed if you aren't fit for going out."

"diluc, please. i want to help."

your eyes catch his and your desperation seems to confuse him. he stares through you for a moment and then sighs.

"... alright. let's head to these areas to search."

he pulls out his map and points at places that might have more motorbikes. it's... a lot. are you really gonna be able to make it through this whole day? the headache cover story isn't gonna explain you coughing up blood like this morning…

it's another gloriously sunny day, but there are rain clouds off in the distance. looks like pathetic fallacy knows how tonight's gonna go down. worse than being mad, aether's probably going to sob uncontrollably. and it's all your fault.

a small giggle from your right interrupts your self-loathing. amber whispers, "a pigeon! heeheheh, i wish i could fly alongside them..."

...

!

she turns around mortified. you can't even begin to cover up your flabbergast. diluc's likely matches. "no... need for small talk," he eventually says, looking strained. "there's more wanderers over there."

you stifle a laugh as amber whines indignantly. but diluc's words strike a chord in you. "there sure are a lot of them around today..."

"doesn't change our objective. we'll head here first." diluc storms ahead, no slowing down that train. and it kills you to admit it but you're struggling to keep up. you could outrun this guy three times over normally but... well, you're not doing too hot. apparently making up a headache has bitten you in the ass in the form of a self-fulfilling prophesy because fuck head hurt :(

your feet feel like lead and the spinning has started again. it's not looking good, brothers. a nearby bike rack becomes your perch as you struggle to push forward.

"Y/N?"

"coming!"

one moment the rain clouds were miles off and now, they're closing in. maybe god noticed how damn thirsty you are. "Y/N, you're staring off into space again." diluc snaps you out of your thoughts again.

"ah, sorry! was just thinking it's probably going to rain soon."

"all the more reason to move quicker. if we each take a bike back, we just need to get one more tomorrow then that's done."

bike? oh shit, you've already found some. you must have been running on autopilot again. when the hell did you get to this car park? the top floor of the multi-storey you've found yourself on reflects the moody clouds above: grey and laden with bad vibes. there's something wrong about you being here. "i'm glad finding them wasn't too hard! so to move these bikes, you'll need to stand on the left side." the two follow your instruction. "hold the hand grip, and cover the front brake with two fingers. the bike will need to be in neutral gear so move this here..."

your mind begins to wander again as you list off the controls of the bike. how long do you have left? maybe a painful and embarrassing last few hours? and to think you were cocky enough to believe you could help them all the way to the tunnel before you died. humans have no limit to their wishful thinking.

"gosh, you really are quiet today, Y/N..." amber's looking at you with concern but you can't even find it in you to pretend anymore. "just a little tired. but i'll be ok. this car park is not too far from the library. how lucky that we found these bikes so quickly..."

you push the bike in your hands down the slope between the 4th and 3rd floor of the multi-storey car park, using the brakes to ease its momentum. the pair behind you aren't even trying to hide their exchange of glances. but can you blame them?

"... if there's something you're not telling us, if you have some sort of medical condition, you need to say right now."

alarm bells are ringing in your head right now but they almost sound muffled. you can barely feel the handles of the bike in your hand. there's this... sense. that something could go terribly wrong at any moment. you can feel it in the ground. all of your intuition, your experience is screaming. you should probably just tell them the truth now, they can't stop you if you're already out on this supply run. there's no time.

"i'm-"

A shrill, piercing tone fills the air. For ears that have been accustomed to nothing but wind for the past week, it's explosive. one, no two floors down, something stupid must have walked into a car.

"shit."

shit indeed, diluc. an incessant sound like that is a death sentence. all the fog in your mind clears and you finally realise how fucked you are. you're on the 3rd floor of a car park with only one exit: down. one look over the edge of the balcony and yep, there's tons of wanderers flocking to the noise. another great feature of these babies is that they retain their hearing. again, thank you for that, god 3

"fuck, they're everywhere-"

another car alarm starts blaring, this time on the same floor as you. it's across the building, sure, but there'll be biters on you within minutes. game plan, game plan, game plan stat.

"w-what do we do?" amber's eyes are like saucers.

"ditch the bikes for now, we'll come back for them." for a civilian, diluc sure is level-headed.

"let's head upwards."

"what?!" they yelp in unison.

"unless you guys wanna see what the floor below us looks like? we'll either find a way across to another building or i have an idea that you're going to hate." you take off running, ignoring the spike of pain every time your right foot lands.

"what's the idea? and no ziplining." specifies diluc.

"it's not ziplining but it's also not something you'll want to hear until we've got no other options." you call back to the two behind you. "if we survive, it's gonna make an amazing story!" there's a moment where you wonder if you've finally exhausted diluc's patience. but then the sound of two pairs of shoes slapping against concrete joins the racket.

"get us killed, and i will haunt you."

with diluc's romantic declaration aside, you begin to search the 4th floor for a building close enough to cross to. of course, that brings risks of its own but staying in this car park is much more dangerous. you honestly find yourself wishing for the days of shuffle and groan compared to this shit show.

"Y/N, diluc! maybe here?" amber calls out. you both race over to her side and see a building not too far away. problem is, the windows are all closed. you voice your concerns. "breaking these windows would attract any biters inside right to where we were entering. not to mention we don't have any means of crossing that wide a gap."

"i-i'm sorry." amber offers meekly, and you realise you might have said that a little harshly.

well, shoot. being in pain is no excuse to be a bitch. "it's ok, amber, really! in any other situation, it would be a great idea."

"they're here."

diluc's ominous tone has you both look back towards the slope downwards. a pair of unblinking eyes stare back at you. someone's keen to eat you all.

"run!" he yells and you all scramble towards the slope up to the top floor. the rain clouds have just begun to downpour and you feel your skin burning under the coolness of the droplets. no time, no fucking time. a quick overview of the top floor leaves you with 2 tall buildings, a drop to certain death, and only one free rooftop. but it's miles away. ohhhh, diluc's not gonna like this one.

"my long jump is nothing to sneeze at but even i couldn't make that gap." amber says, attempting to lighten the mood. there's a long, longgg sigh on your left and then diluc finally gives in "... what's your idea then?"

"aha, you're gonna really hate it so i won't tell you yet. you two both get over to the other side of the building and break into a car."

"a-any car?" says amber, clearly trying to hide her hesitation.

"a sturdy one would be ideal. and it'll need to be a stop-start, not a normal car. i'll be over in just a second."

"be quick." is diluc's last comment before they zip over to the other side. you grab hold of a discarded motorbike and wheel it over to the edge, lining it up. tipped over, it's just the right height. a guttural groan emanates from the slope downwards and you realise you're really fucking doing this. gods of luck and bullshitery, please let this shoddy idea work.

you're at the car they've picked before you know it and climbing into the driver's seat. "what's your plan here? stay inside this car?" diluc interrogates. but no need to respond, he'll be finding out soon enough. you glance back to check they both have their seatbelts on. lord knows, they'll need it.

the first few biters wander out and you take that as your sign to gun it. you slam your foot down and the engine begins to purr. swinging round the first set of cars, you accidentally knock a few wanderers back then line up along the empty parking spaces, heading straight for that bike. the unwilling participants of your little joy ride finally catch on. "Y/N." growls diluc, warning you.

3 seconds away.

"Y/N, you better not be-"

2 seconds.

"Y/N!"

1

"Y/NNNNNNN!" "WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEE!"

you let out a joyful 'AHHHHAHAHAHAHA' as the car flies up the 'ramp' and over the railing. you're in the air for a few seconds, feeling gravity start to slowly pull the car down. but not to worry, the idiocy of your youth has shown you just how much the human body can survive.

the tires squelch under the weight of the car as it lands clunkily on the rooftop of the next building. your feet hit the brakes and there's a delightful screeching sound. 3 bodies swing to the right, following the momentum of the car, before landing into their seats with a heave. god, that was fun. but one look at diluc's face and you're fighting your shit-eating grin. he looks 10 years older. you've probably shaved years off his lifespan with that stunt. amber's not looking much better. her whole body has slid down her seat and her legs are shaking like a newborn lamb.

"Y/N... I am never, EVER, getting in a car with you AGAIN." diluc all but screams at you.

you crack-up. "whaaaat, never? i guess that's fair. who knows what nefarious schemes are cooking up in this brain of mine?"

"nothing i will ever be a part of."

"Y-Y/N... why did they ever give you a license?" amber inquires weakly. you don't think she's joking. diluc grips the handle of the door sternly and gets out of the car. you go to follow him but then are quickly reminded of something. something veryyyy important. oh brother. this is bad.

"d-diluc... i don't think i can walk..." amber calls out as he opens her door.

oh, god. this is a woodpecker and a hot air balloon kind of bad.

"i... can't even blame you."

this is really fucking bad.

"Y/N? are you coming out?"

the door on your side is open and both of them are staring at you like before. god, you're too fucking tired for this. "j-just a minute." you press your forehead to the steering wheel.

"Y/N, don't tell me you're only getting scared now-"

there's silence. why is he silent? maybe he remembered what you were talking about before. god, can you really bear lying to them anymore? what was the reason you wouldn't say in the first place anyways? probably your stupid pride or something. no, no, it was something more important than that. so they'd let you help them? that was it.

"diluc, what's the matter?"

they're too kind. they would have never let you push yourself to death for them. and now, on what's most likely your last day, you've failed. you needed to live long enough to teach them how to ride too. what's gonna happened to them? what's gonna happen to aether? dying on them is basically getting them killed too. maybe the tunnel was too far of a stretch but if you could have at least survived long enough to teach them. was that too much, god? ugh, fucking hell this hurts. can't this all be over already?

"diluc?"

"Y/N, what are those bruises under your shirt?

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! lord I am not good at angst or tension or any of this but I have tried. really wanted to do mc's injury justice considering it's been a ticking time bomb since chapter 1. but eeeek idk bout it.

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope you're excited for next chapter! she'll be out soon ;)

Chapter 9: the long night.

Notes:

welcome to hell, my agony fiction aunts.

apologies for leaving everyone on a cliffhanger so long but I was away and also angst is hard. I've tried my best, really hope I do the 'mc done goofed and got herself fatally injured and now her friends have finally realised' climax justice.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

it's over.

the gig is up. and man you had a good run, all things considered. but fuck, this is probably the worst way they could have found out. one hesitant look at your partially exposed side could tell you that. the bruises and bleeding you've worked so hard to hide are on full display, shining in all their purple, mutilated glory.

"Y/N." diluc repeats coldly. you can't deny the sense of relief. you don't have to lie anymore. even if this has gone tits up in the most spectacular fashion.

"those look..." amber begins, struggling to gauge how bad it is. "they aren't from just now, are they?"

"... no." is all you manage to push out.

"then..." her eyes are searching but you can't bring yourself to look.

"they are... from before you met me and aether. same day actually. turns out when you zipline into a fence, you don't just walk away unscathed." you offer, attempting to end in banter. but no one here is laughing.

"lift up your shirt."

"my, shouldn't we at least go on a date first-"

"Y/N."

you... have to watch this. painfully, you shift your body over to face them and slowly lift up the side of your shirt. you don't even have to reach the top to see how their faces twist and contort with pain and confusion. a strange sense of relief washes over you again. at least, you don't have to do this alone anymore. but any wisps of belief that you were going to live through this have finally been put to rest. their faces say it all.

amber covers her mouth, eyes filling with tears. "oh, Y/N..."

a precursor of what's to come. but it's nothing compared to diluc. his face flashes a completely despairing expression for a moment like he's... heartbroken. and then a cool shutter comes clattering down over his emotions. his brows furrow and his eyes grow cold.

"w-why would you-"

"amber." he spits out. "save your questions. she's going to answer in front of all of us."

"diluc-" you whisper. "not another word." he interrupts. all the fight in your body leaves and you droop like a wilted flower. "get out."

silently, you slide your lead-filled legs from the footwell and try to lower yourself onto the ground. the head-splitting pain races up your body. you barely even notice diluc's back glide towards you. "i-i can-" one glare from him shuts you up. diluc may be silent but you can practically hear the rage churning in him. you wrap your left arm round his shoulder and push your thighs either side of his torso. his gloved hands catch the back of your thighs and hoist you up effortlessly. and off you go.

the walk back is torture. you can't say a word to explain or to defend why you hid your injuries. all you can do is sneak glances at amber as she stares at the ground in front of her, sinking further and further down. passing out sounds like a dream right now, but you can't do that either.

…

and you really hate yourself for feeling this way but you also can't help but relax into diluc's back. how long has it been since someone's carried you like this? like you're a little kid and nothing's wrong yet. it feels so safe and warm and your head's all fuzzy already. without really meaning to, you lean into his body and bury your face in his fluffy hair. cold rain slides off the both of you, but it's warm where your body touches his.

he doesn't say a word.

the doors to the library are up ahead. the warm light of the candles inside contrast the darkness of the rain clouds above, light that's about to be soured by your bad news. but you can't cry yet. you have to face all of this. it's your responsibility. diluc stops right before the door. you feel him breathe in and then breathe out. like he's breathing out all of his emotions right before he deals with this.

venti appears first, looking a little dishevelled. "what a refreshing nap..." venti yawns loudly. "ah, amber, diluc, Y/N! you sure took... your..." he trails off after looking at what you imagine to be a very bitter diluc. but before he can enquire...

"gather everyone together."

a single order that strikes regret into you. the honest part of you is dying to pass out. well, it's also just dying in general. but the responsible part of you knows that no matter how bad this turns out, no matter how aether reacts, no matter how anyone reacts… you have to see this through. one last push. the troops are called together pretty quickly. aether pushes his way through and you watch his heart fall to his stomach as he spots you. "Y/N?"

diluc kneels down to one knee and releases his grip on your legs so you can sit down. you slowly retract your arm, feeling a brush of cool air on your chest. whatever happens here, you just have to be honest.

"what's going on? are you alright, cutie?"

"show them."

"... i haven't been completely honest with you all," you take hold of the bottom of your shirt.

"how do you mean?" pushes kaeya, his eyes narrowing.

"i didn't want to stop searching for a way out of this city. i thought i could just push through but..." you will every ounce of strength in you to grasp your hand shut and then lift upwards. "it doesn't look like that's possible anymore."

the silence is deafening. you have no idea what they're thinking. "are those... bruises?" jean eventually queries, seeming lost and shocked.

"yes... internal bleeding. from when we crashed into a fence while escaping tenbury tunnel." aether just stares at you blankly. "... are you going to die?" the question hits you like a bullet. that's... no. you can't lie to him anymore. you have to say it. just tell him. say the word and then it's done.

"... yes."

he inhales sharply, the air catching in his throat. one hand reaches for his shirt, tugging it away from his neck like he's struggling to breathe. the other hand clamps down on his mouth. no taking it back now, you continue. "there's no first aid treatment for internal bleeding. you need surgery. sometimes it can heal up by itself, which was what i was holding out for but... that's not going to happen."

more silence follows your words. you look around the room and find nothing but anguish on each of your friends' faces. jean's fist is shaking as she bites back tears. lisa just looks completely forlorn. venti looks more serious than you've ever seen him, his thumb and index finger rubbing into the bridge of his nose. the grip kaeya has on his own arm looks painful. you recall that you didn't quite confirm your terminal fate before as made apparent by the fresh grief on amber's face. diluc still seems completely emotionless and cold, but he's kneading the hem of his jacket furiously. aether's...

you can't even describe it. he's sunken to his knees. it looks like... his entire world's just ended. and it's all your fault.

"i-i'm sorry... i should have... this wasn't the way i was planning to tell you."

"so you were planning to tell us?" diluc counters quickly. too quickly.

"of course! i couldn't hide this... i didn't want to hide this but..." you trail off. more than a gunfight, or an unstable zipline, or driving off a building, this is so terrifying. you can barely get your words out. and everytime you struggle, the room is just silent. filled with your lies.

"if those bruises are from hitting that fence, wouldn't that mean you have the same injuries, aether?" oh fuck. venti's onto you. has he figured out what you did back at the fence? aether doesn't say a word. he just sits there and stares at you. as if it's the last time he's ever going to see you. lisa steps in. "he doesn't, we checked when we first took him in."

"then why are only you injured, Y/N?" amongst the many uncomfortable reactions already in the room, venti's serious tone is incredibly unsettling.

"i... hit the fence first." you flush with guilt. barely minutes ago, you promised yourself that you wouldn't lie anymore. deceit like that is no better. without your permission, your eyes sneak another glance at aether. he hasn't moved. but it also doesn't look like he's going to ask any further.

"that doesn't make sense." diluc catechizes. "even if you hit the fence first, aether still would have hit it with momentum after."

aether's eyes spark with recognition. oh fuck fuck fuck, here it comes. "you didn't..." he's begging you to deny him. begging you to tell him these injuries didn't happen because you protected him. diluc catches on. "you didn't..."

your face grows hotter and hotter with shame. "didn't what?" venti asks.

"she protected him… with her body. she took the impact of both of them when they hit the fence." finishes kaeya, wide-eyed. you hang your head in defeat. aether finally moves again but this time it's to clamp down the whimpers escaping his mouth as he cries.

"no... no, you idiot..."

"... i'm sorry."

"you idiot. you stupid, stupid girl."

"i-i didn't realise it would be so bad..."

"how could you... why?..."

why.

"... i guess i'm just hardwired to want to protect you, aether. my body was moving before i had even really realised what was going on."

you couldn't think of any other explanation. but apparently, that one was the worst choice because aether just wails. he crawls over clumsily and collapses onto your lap, sobbing and clutching at your clothes. your hands come up to meet him like they've done thousands of times before. but this time they're shaking. no, no. you don't get to cry yet.

"i'm sorry..."

"you must have known. before kaeya and i walked in." diluc pushes. you can barely hear him. everything is muffled and blurry.

"i looked at the bruises after i patched aether up. then again the morning after. that's when i knew... i didn't have long." it sounds like someone else is using your voice and saying these words.

"then... when i found you crying outside... it was because of that?" you look at kaeya and see this strange guilt inside him. like he thinks he should have known. "that's right. i'm sorry i didn't tell you then, kaeya. but the way you supported me then is one of the few reasons i'm still here now. thank you. i really mean it-"

"so you knew. and failed to tell us?" diluc interrupts. you look at him meekly before admitting "i... wasn't sure i could trust you at first." he scoffs. "but i realised about 5 minutes in that i could! but by then, we had already made a deal, right? that you would take us in and treat aether, and in return, i'd pull both weight in the group for both of us. if i had told you then that i was injured, i couldn't know whether you would still take us in, i-i had to make sure you took us in."

diluc just glowers at you. fuck, this really couldn't be going worse. "you really are stupid."

"diluc!" exclaims jean.

"no, no. that's fair. i deserve that, i'm an idiot... by the time i had figured out that you weren't the type of people to just leave us behind because we couldn't help out, it was too late."

"so then you lied to our faces again and again?! and told us we could rely on you. do you realise how dangerous that could have been? if you had gotten worse on a supply run, we could have all died."

"i-i wouldn't have gone out if i didn't think i could-"

"i don't care HOW good you think you are-"

"diluc. that's enough." kaeya steps in front of you. diluc's hands ball into a fist and begin to shake. he strains, trying to keep his anger in check. you can practically feel the room heating up in tune with his emotions. "kaeya." he warns in a very low voice. "this has nothing to do with you. get out of my way."

kaeya doesn't budge. "you've gone too far. step away from this."

"kaeya."

fucking hell, this guy has nerves of steel. but then again, you can tell he's angry too from the way the room has turned icy cool. "Y/N is very weak right now. her body can't handle this kind of stress. you need to either drop it or leave. now."

one side of the room is searing hot and the other side feels like the a/c is on full blast. you... can't be the only one feeling this right?

"Y/N, just tell me why-"

"DILUC!"

"STOP IT!"

jean, lisa, and venti jump into the fray, dragging each man away as they struggle towards each other, filled with molten hot and frigid cold anger. "...p-please..." you find yourself mumbling.

"why didn't you tell us?! why did you wait until now?!"

his blazing eyes catch yours. "because i want you to live." you reply.

your words knock the wind right out of him and he reels backwards. "i'm going to die. there's no hope for me anymore. but you all can live and make it out of here. i thought that if i was going to die anyway, i wanted to spend my last few days trying to figure out how you all can survive and get out of this place."

you look to jean. "and find barbara."

you look down and pass your hands through aether's hair. "and find lumine."

"... but you're kind. you would have never let me push myself like i have if you'd known. you wouldn't have known i could do this!" the last part comes out louder than you intended. you gather yourself a little and feel your determination settle in your chest. "... i won't let any of you die here. i'll help you escape no matter how much it hurts, e-even if i die an awful death in the process." after all this time, it's only now that tears begin to fall from your eyes as you pet aether's head. "it was just easier… to hide it. i'm sorry…"

the hot and cold air in the room finally dissipate. diluc seems to have calmed down too, leaving nothing more than a sad look on his face.

"this is the worst time to say it but im not sure i'll get another chance so…" you smile. "i'm so glad i met you all. i don't want any of you to die because it's…" more tears slip down your cheeks.

"it's fucking terrifying"

no one moves for a long time. and then diluc straightens up and walks out wordlessly into the rain. it seems no one can bear trying to stop him. after you all stare at the vacant front doors for a while, kaeya is first to move. he kneels down and places a hand on aether's shoulder, guiding him off your lap. you watch as aether heaves himself up, stacking his body onto his elbows, then his hands, before leaning back. his face is vacant and hollow. a single one of his fingers remains latched on the cuff of your sock. then, you feel kaeya's arms gently slide round your shoulders and underneath your knees. "does this hurt?"

you shake your head. the gentle kindness of his words and actions give way to more tears as he lifts you up with ease until he's on his feet and then carries you all the way to your appointed beanbag. aether tags along too, silently, dragging his feet.

kaeya lays you down gently and you make sure to hide the pain on your face. then you look up at him. he looks so lonely, even though you're right here. maybe it's because you won't be for long. "i'm not dead yet, you know. i feel like i'm already in my casket with that look on your face."

he cracks a smile half-heartedly, but he still feels very far away. "i'm not sure if i'm just catching you at all your worst moments or if your life really sucks this much." you scoff at this cheekiness, which pains your side a little. "... you bitch. you love it really. if nothing else, it's never boring, right?"

"my, so eager to please." ooo~ho, he's cruising for a bruising… it all feels so strange to act like this now. kaeya looks at aether, who hasn't said a thing. "... i'll see you both tomorrow. don't make me wait too long though." kaeya steps up and bids you both goodnight. but before he turns around...

"kaeya?" you call out.

"hmm?"

"can you tell me when diluc gets back?"

he watches you out of the corner of his eye for a moment. "sure."

and off he goes.

"aether?"

no response.

"you can lie down next to me if you want."

he shifts over and lies down next to you. you feel his gaze brush against all the features of your face: your forehead, your eyes, nose, mouth, cheeks. despite the situation, you can't help but feel a little embarrassed. "um... aether?"

no response.

"are you angry with me?" you question. he slides his hand into yours and brings it up to his lips, ghosting kisses around each of your knuckles. "... i'm furious..." he is? no surprise there, he just doesn't look furious at all. only lost.

"i see." you offer plainly.

"i can't afford to be furious though, can i? there isn't time to waste on being angry."

"... i guess not. so what do you want to do with the time we have left?"

he looks you over once more, and some sort of new thought enters his head. and then he... turns bright red? what is this kid thinking? "um... well... if we don't have much time together... t-then..." his eyes are glittering with this strange new emotion that you can't really understand. and he's taken hold of both your hands and pushed them back into the beanbag on either side of you.

"uh... we should... i want to..." he keeps trailing off but his eyes are very determined. whatever the activity he wants to do with you is, he wants it really bad.

"aether, i trust you completely. so whatever this thing is that you want to do with me, you can just do it. i owe it to you, right?"

"mmm... but it's important that you want it too. very important."

honestly, what kind of activity requires both of you to want it so bad? you are way too close to biting the big one for this high-level thought processing. "well, what is it? you haven't actually told me what it is you want." you slip on your fortune-teller voice. "oh, great aether, what do you so desire?~"

… it still feels wrong to mess around like this. will he hate you for trying to hide behind how you usually act?

"desire, huh..." his eyes look down hazily. then they look back up. "ugh, be serious, Y/N..."

you hear shuffling and the sound of dragging from further down the aisle, then a perky yet slightly nervous voice to accompany. "um, Y/N? i know this is crazy to ask and you can just say if you don't want to but... could i s-sleep with you, AH, n-next to you... um, tonight?" amber babbles, staring at her feet.

"of course! oh... if that's ok with you, aether?" you double-check with aether who's gawking at amber and looking incredibly guilty for some reason. maybe, he feels bad for lying next to you or something? and somehow, amber's gawking back with an equally guilty expression.

"... i am SO SORRY-"

"no, no! it's not what it looks... um, you're not disturbing or anything, really! you can join-"

"HUH?! i-i-i-i-i-ii-i-i'm really n-not that experienced so i don't think i could-"

"NOT LIKE THAT! i meant sleep, sleep!"

maybe it's the cocktail of way too many painkillers, internal bleeding, and an all-around shitty day but these wackos might as well be speaking in latin. would it kill them to describe what it is that they're talking about with actual words? "amber? do you want to share this beanbag and sleep next to each other?"

"ah, um. yes, please."

you smile warmly at her and she drags her beanbag over to yours. aether quickly clambers off you and buries his face into your shoulder. and then you figure you should see how badly you've fucked up. "... can i ask how you feel? about everything?"

she relaxes back into her beanbag and stares up. you do too. compared to the soft light painting the bookshelves, the ceiling is practically midnight blue, with only a little moonlight filtering through the windows at the top. "i feel crushed. like this huge weight is sitting on my heart. i just keep wondering how i never noticed..."

"to be fair, i have a really high pain tolerance. and pretty good control of my own expressions and emotions. perks of my previous occupation." you feel aether nod and watch amber sigh."i wondered about that too. i... we really don't know much about you. your job or your life. whether you have any family. so when you revealed this huge secret, it was a painful reminder of how little i know you on top of everything else."

it's suddenly pretty clear to you how unfair your relationship's been so far. and yet it was just last night you were poking around about her grandfather. god, you suck. "... i'm sorry, amber."

"no, no! i didn't mean it against you. i just... well, i want to know more about you. but there's no longer any time for that. i wish we could just stay up all night talking, you know." you want to. you really want to. "Y/N's had a really rough day. i get how you feel but i think we should let us rest for now." aether reads your mind.

"i can manage a bit longer-"

"Y/N."

the tone he uses is non-negotiable. and so very aether. he can be such a pushover about some things, but never the well-being of the people he cares about. you draw your eyes up to look at him as if you'll never see him again.

"don't give me those pleading eyes. sleep."

what if… what if you don't wake up again? what if this is the last time you're going to see aether? but sleep is calling and you don't have anything left to fend it off. you blink back tears with your heavy, heavy eyelids and find the hands attached to the two bodies next to you.

"goodnight, aether. goodnight, amber."

are these your final words? you drift off to a silent prayer for a very long night.

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! ahhhhhhhhh angst is hard bros :((( I wanted to make sure the mc had clear motivations in her head for why she didn't tell the others but also that it was part of her character flaw as someone who hates relying on others. and hooo boy is diluc pissed. weird that the room heated up/cooled down with their emotions, huh?

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

next chapter will probably be up a little later bc I'm moving but she'll arrive, don't you worry ;)

Chapter 10: but there's no rest for the wicked, baby!

Notes:

welcome back, my wuvly fiction wives! posting on a monday feels mad weird but can't complain because I FINALLY BROKE FREE OF MY WRITER'S BLOCK FOR THIS FIC! the inspiration is flowing once more, the writing is happening very slowly, this is a WIN people!

also, i just wanna apologise for the slight sauce that i've been writing more recently, like last chapter and this. idk what kind of mood i've been in but lemme know if you want more or less of it. i am adding a slight warning in the tags bc sometimes it's just not the vibes

anyways, shutting up, enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

someone's leg just nudged you. how rude. couldn't possibly get some undisturbed eternal rest, could you? and all this damn light is making your eyelids glow orange. no consideration for how you're supposed to be dead, none at all.

...oh.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

you.

fucking.

LIVED!

ohhhhhhhhhhhh another corpse has risen today because your ass is ALIVE! are you grape-ified? sir yes sir. are you bleeding everywhere you shouldn't be? as all cool kids DO. will this miracle be repeated tomorrow? fuck if you care bro YOU ARE SUCKING IN AIR AND SPITTING IT BACK OUT RIGHT NOW!

and gosh does it feel good!

the joy of living wrenches your crusty eyes open to peer out on a new day. you find yourself grinning like a madman, just drinking in the sunlight on the ceiling. and then that same leg nudges you once more. no, you're not only alive and kicking it despite every medical opinion, oh no. your wonderful friends are also right by your side!

aether's lips rest mere millimeters away from the left side of your neck and you can feel his every breath. he's managed to wedge each of his limbs in between yours like a jigsaw puzzle, including wrapping his entire leg around your thigh. and unsurprisingly, an innocent hand has found its way up your shirt to rest atop of your abdomen, as per usual.

what's more surprising is your right side, or rather your right arm which amber has taken hostage. she's clinging to it like a body pillow and you have to really not think about the consequent sensations. and definitely not think about anything while relaxing your grip on her... ahem, adductor muscles. you slide your hands from between her legs very slowly and breathe a sigh of relief.

very close friends, you are.

you breathe in and out a few more times. yesterday was... definitely up there as one of the top 10 worst days of your life. it probably couldn't have gone worse. diluc hates you, aether is heartbroken, the others are sad and angry and betrayed. sitting on trial for being such a self-sacrificing simp was beyond mortifying too. you couldn't wish that level of embarrassment on your worst enemies. but funnily enough, you have the strangest sense of peace. you've been gifted another day to try and make things right. you've woken up next to people who care about you enough that they wanted to sleep by you despite everything you've done to them. and everything...

is everything hurting a little less?

you lift your head up a little to look at your injuries once more. and of course, there are still purple bruises coasting your entire right side but you could swear the patch is smaller than yesterday. no blood in your mouth either. that pair of windbags in your chest must have forgotten to send you some. that's... strange.

well, you're not going to complain.

you decide to count your blessings and instead focus on gently waking your dear friends. you delicately stroke from the bridge to the tips of their nose with your index finger, as you might with a cat. after a few brushes, amber and aether stir.

"mm... Y/N?" aether calls out, sleepily. 'Y/N'... you got to hear him say your name again… "good morning, aether~"

he goes to rub his face with the hand on your stomach but finds it quickly becomes tangled in your shirt. you steal back your hand from amber a little in time to tug back down at your top, countering his movements. "... mmm?" he grumbles, before his eyes open. and then he turns a delightful shade of crimson at the predicament you're in. "ah!? u-um..." words seem to have failed him. but you can only feel joy for the fact you get to see him again. all his awkwardness and his bright red face and his trademark 'mm'. god, you would do anything for him.

"a-aren't you mad?" he eventually stutters out. all you can do is smile, turn your body, and pull him closer with your very numb left arm. his face is inches from yours and you can see the tiny freckles decorating his cheeks. must be all that time spent in the sun. you have a whole new day to gaze into his honey-brown eyes and tell him how much you love him. is this level of oxytocin even legal?

he leans closer hesitantly. "Y/N... i... can we ki-"

amber's grumble interrupts your reverie. apparently, you've claimed too much of your own arm back and she's not having it. the limb is tugged gently but there's still a pang of pain from your right side. of course, you can't get mad at her when she has such an adorable sleeping face, gaaah, she's too cute for this world...

oh, right. "aether, were you asking me something?" he somewhat... glares at you? or at the very least pouts strongly. "i was sayi-"

"Y/N?"

you turn to look at amber who's finally woken up. she blinks at you. "morning, amber~ i hope you don't mind me commenting on how cute your sleeping face is!" you smile at her gently as she continues to blink. "oh, right! sorry aether, what were you saying?"

you turn back to find he looks even angrier. "i can't exactly ask you now, stupid." he glowers. bro, what the hell? can you all go back to the part where everyone's happy you're still alive?!

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-YY-YY-Y-Y-Y-Y/N, I'M SO SORRY!" is shrieked into your ear before you can protest. you wince. "a-amber?"

"we were just... this was... um!"

she looks over at aether and falls silent. you whip round to catch him gesturing wildly before spotting you. now admittedly, you understand very little in life and sure, it is a miracle you've made it this far considering your intelligence stats. on the flip side, that undoubtedly was the universal signal for 'shut the ass up'. "what have i missed exactly?" you raise an eyebrow.

both remain silent. aether looks completely poker-faced but amber seems a little guilty? heeheehee, an honest heart ripe for the taking~

you push. "amber~?" she lets out a strangled whimper. "we both felt a bit lonely so we, um, we wanted to... be closer to you!" she finishes with a squeak and it dawns on you that these scoundrels might not have just been lucky with their sleeping positions. the rapscallions!

"you... dirty perverts, the lot of you! laying your filthy paws all over my innocent and fragile body! there i was peacefully asleep while you exercised your darkest desires-"

"amber! she's never gonna drop this, you know! we literally just slept next to you, nothing more!"

"ah, i-i'm really sorry!"

he sighs excessively. "no need to apologise, she's being dumb. besides, she would pull the exact same shit if we were switched."

"well, obviously! like any self-respecting individual, i would not hesitate to partake in-"

the shooting of your shot is cut short by a pillow being shoved into your face.

with the day underway, you manage to get up ok. despite aether's protests, you head out for breakfast. but one look at your friends reminds you that you probably shouldn't be grinning like an idiot. "Y/N..." murmurs jean, sadly. if she looked tired yesterday, she looks exhausted now. what are the guesses that it's your fault?

the guilt short circuits your brain and you blurt out the first thing that comes to your head.

"um... surprise?"

you fucking dumb-dumb. you absolute buffoon.

at least there was a single snort of amusement from the corner of the room belonging to a one master kaeya. you mumble out sorry and quickly sit down, ignoring the dull ache of your side (though it's definitely not as unbearable as before?). all that's missing is venti and... diluc. you have to wonder whether he came back last night. and then you have to wonder whether he's coming back at all. more than angry, he seemed so... betrayed last night. there's no question that you deserved it all. but a little part of you can tell there was something more there.

it's a shame you won't be around long enough to find out anything more about diluc.

venti walks over to dispel your gloominess, as you've learnt he can do excellently. "morning, everyone..." he yawns hugely then stops. "...Y/N! i wasn't expecting you to be up and about. how are you feeling, dear Y/N?"

dear Y/N... gosh, he can make you feel better with a few words. you smile fondly as he rubs his eyes. "i'm alright. maybe this... isn't the right time to say this sort of thing, but i actually feel a bit better today."

ears all around you perk up. "perhaps removing the stress of keeping up appearances has allowed your condition to improve?" poses kaeya. but this isn't good. you can't let anyone believe you're going to get better. because you're not. "aha, one can hope... it doesn't feel like i'm about to keel over at any second, which is nice. a medical professional would maybe give me a few days so enough time to teach you what i know."

you feel like such a dick, bringing down the mood again. but it will only hurt everyone more if they think you're gonna make it. mmmmm, how not fun :(

but then, venti says something that catches you off guard. "i wouldn't be so sure, my friend~"

...

how the heck does he know? "um, one way or another, i am going to-"

"i wouldn't be so sure~"

bro, huh? maybe he's been smoking that zaza without you because he's talking wack. you make sure to express your bamboozlement, your perplexity, and your discombobulation clearly on your face which venti giggles at. "ehehe, i believe that you feeling better is a sign of good things to come! surely, you must know that current knowledge can't predict everything. and so, if things do improve, you'll have to admit how wondrous my intuition is."

you have to blink at the tomfoolery of it all. but you also can't deny how much you appreciate venti. despite everything, he's still trying to make you feel better, right?

...

he looks knackered too, poor thing. you chuckle. "oh, venti. if that day comes, i'll have you to thank."

it's precisely just as you're smiling and looking like you're having fun that diluc appears. and he definitely saw you dare to look happy in front of all the people you lied to and betrayed. fuck.

"amber, we're going out." he commands and begins to collect his things. fuck, you really need to say something. the speed of his packing has you stand up abruptly. and then fall straight back down because OWWWW. you clutch at your side, which unnecessarily concerns everyone, and then attempt to stand again with more success.

"maybe you should-" aether begins. but you have to say something because diluc's now pulled his pack on and turned to leave. the legs beneath you start to stumble over to diluc but he's already walking away. oh god, if he leaves without you ever getting to say something, it really feels like there's no chance you'll ever-

"d-diluc!" you find yourself saying, like some brat. AHA, WHAT NOW?

he stops in his tracks and you watch his shoulders drop as he breathes out. and then he turns. his expression is angry, of course it is. but how could you forget? this is diluc. flustered, awkward, stoic diluc. just as you have no idea how to face him, he also has no idea what to say to you. with that fresh reminder that no matter what, he's still kind, adorable diluc, you find new courage. "u-um... be careful."

it's not great, especially considering you can't even protect him anymore, but it's something. he stares you down, stony-faced.

"right."

hmm. it's wishful thinking to hope for any more than that. you can only pray that your disappointment isn't showing on your face.

"is there... anything you need? anything that will help."

oh dear. oh, that's gonna make you cry. you chew your lip as your eyes prick. he's really too good for you. it was only yesterday you were laughing together at your crazy little stunt. and the night before that, all your friends were celebrating and having fun. how can you tell him that there's nothing that can save you now? if you could live past this, you could at least make things right.

"um... if it's not too much trouble..."

diluc waits patiently as you knot your fingers together.

"an apple, please."

he raises an eyebrow. "you want... an apple?"

"i was meaning to get one but that's... no longer possible..." gah, his silent staring is so uncomfortable. "um, it's ok if you can't find any though. i know a lot of them will have gone off by now but..." you find yourself growing quieter and quieter. "just to... keep the doctor away... is all..."

after a long judgemental pause and the tail end of your mumbling has passed, he sighs. "... understood."

and off he goes.

"what... did i just witness?" asks aether, dumbfounded.

and you're not really sure what to tell him because what. the. fuck? you have never been quieter. or more mumbly. or more EMBARRASSING IN YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE! "gaaaAAAAH, somebody KILL me!"

"that... pfft, that was pretty bad..." snickers kaeya.

"i should have shut my mouth. i should have shut my siLly liTTle moUTHHHH." you collapse to your knees, too caught up in the drama of it all to care about the pain. "you're lucky lumine wasn't here to see that." consoles aether. you can tell he's trying not to laugh at the idea. "gah, the psyche damage from that situation would send me straight to rock bottom. though it's hard to tell if i'm already there or not..."

jean rises to comfort you. "i'm sure diluc appreciated it in his own way. if you'd like, i can show you some tips i learned from my public speaking classes?" the genuine kindness behind her offer stings worse than any insult. "aha, ahaha... thanks, jean..."

"now, i know it will be difficult to carry on despite yesterday's news. but i, for one, still believe we can all make it through that tunnel. all of us. we can't predict what will happen in the future. we can only try to plan and prepare, then weather hard times as best we can. so let's work hard today to secure our future escape from this city."

a modest chorus of agreement follows her words. perhaps jean's method of leaving the matter of your future vague is a good idea. it doesn't feel hopeless, but it also accounts for every possibility.

the group begins to prepare for the day ahead with amber being the first to leave. she taps you on the shoulder hesitantly. "Y/N, i... i'm heading out now. so i'll see you later, ok?"

it breaks your heart to see her so uncertain. she wants to know that when she comes back, you'll still be alive. and though you have to avoid raising hopes, you can at least say you'll last for today. "of course! i'll make you something really nice for dinner too! stay safe out there, amber." you wrap your arms around her and rest your chin on her shoulder, attempting to reaffirm that you're somewhat ok. she follows suit, latching onto the fabric of the shirt on your back.

a solemn 'hmm' vibrates from her chest. then she pulls back and flashes you one of her signature dazzling smiles. amber stands up straight, salutes, and yells "outrider amber, heading out for duty!"

"outrider amber?"

"it's something the kids in my class used to call me! anyways, be back soon, Y/N!"

you wave her off. there's undeniably some fear that you'll never see her again. but there's also this strange new feeling that you want to keep going so you can see them again. it's a slippery slope but going for as long as you can has always been the goal, right?

...

it scares you that soon, you won't be able to pretend you're alright in front of your friends. that you'll lie down and never get back up again. the fragile peace of these last few hours will end and it's probably going to be a very sweaty, slow ordeal as you die.

"what an interesting expression. i hope you aren't hiding some other heartbreaking ailment."

you look up to find kaeya in front of you. "nope, i'm fresh out of those. yesterday was truly a dressing down for me." you respond with a smile.

"oh but i can think of much better ways to dress you down." he crosses his arms, appearing to be deep in thought with but a hint of a smile on his face. ha, how fucking smooth! "oh-ho, i'm stealing that... are you, um, off then?"

he looks up, as surprised as you are by the weakness of your voice. seriously, what the ass is up with you today? you rub your red cheeks in frustration. "afraid so. but i'll be back soon, i promise. you'll wait for me, won't you?"

kaeya's softer tone makes you even more embarrassed. "i- um, i'll be alright so... well yes, i'll be waiting for you, i'll probably be worrying the whole day but... you don't need to hurry back or anything. it doesn't feel like i'm going to die any second so..."

it's while you're staring at the ground, babbling away in a fluster, that you feel two arms pull you close.

"k-kaeya?!"

he snakes one arm round your waist while the other clasps your shoulder and pushes your chest against his, almost lifting you up. this is probably all normal, just a normal goodbye hug, right?

but then you feel his lips right next to your ear and your entire body freezes up. "worrying about me the whole day, hm?" he whispers, scrambling your brian. yes, your brian because there's no brain here. "you should really conserve your energy, you know."

conserve your energy? for what-

"you'll be needing it later tonight."

...

right. what?

"uh, um, w-what do you... what?" your stammering seems to feed his fire more than anything. he pulls away from your ear, allowing a rush of cool air to flood where he once was. which only leads you to realise how warm his lips are compared to the rest of his body. and that cool blue eye looking straight into you... gah, he can probably see how red you are.

"well, all this flirting has to lead to something. wouldn't you agree?"

flirting? man, it's hard to think straight when kaeya's looking at you like this. ok, let's break this down. "conserving energy, for tonight... flirting, leading to something..." you scrunch your face in confusion while kaeya lets out a chuckle. "so close~"

"oh? am i interrupting something?"

venti's voice knocks the equation you were working on right out of your head. "yes, actually." kaeya responds shortly, his smile cracking a little to reveal frustration. but venti's smile remains only playful. "apologies. a shame. well, in any case, i need to speak to Y/N~"

damn, some sort of storm's a brewin' out here. but the break from being under kaeya's gaze lets you find your strength and you gently push away. "i'll see you later then. for whatever this thing is." you conclude and he sighs.

"don't keep me waiting~"

and with that, he takes his snooty attitude and his infuriating smirk and leaves. god, you really like this one.

you turn to venti. "sorry about that, i... would try to explain but i also have no idea what was happening."

"it's fine." he says shortly with a pout. and then after a few moments of letting his sharp retort sink in, he links arms with you joyfully. "you can repay me with a night of drinking! we never did get to drink together the other day, after all~"

"ahaha, definitely! and you still owe me a song too!" that makes his eyes snap open in surprise. "wait, then... that apple..." you give his arm a squeeze. "i'm not leaving this world without ever getting to hear you sing, venti. that would be too sad. i'm sorry i have to cheat a little with my payment though..."

his eyes begin to swirl like pools of water and... holy smokes, how have you never noticed how beautiful they are? the colour of clear sky and shallow ocean. dear lord, nakamura city sure makes 'em pretty. how have you lived here so long and never noticed how damn gorgeous everyone is? "then i'll write you the most magnificent song! all the lands must hear of your tale, dear Y/N! though i really wouldn't worry about leaving this world, ehehe!" he sways in excitement.

oh brother, the idol persona is out again and... hold on a minute. again? with this unshakeable faith?

"um, venti? how can you be so sure there's a chance i won't die?"

"hm?" he stops short.

"i'm slowly bleeding out and there's no way it will stop now if it hasn't already. so... why do you keep saying there's a chance? unless... is there something you know that i don't?" needling someone like this is never fun, especially someone you like but... venti's faith is unnatural. you haven't given him any reason to believe you're going to live and he has no medical knowledge that could change things. what's-

"ehe!"

...

"venti-"

"ehehe!"

...

ok then. keep your secrets, little man.

"i... just know that something good will happen! so i'll see you later, Y/N! have the wine ready for when we get back~" and he runs off.

well, that was bloody suspicious. but it's venti, he's not gonna do anything bad... probably. maybe he really really believes you're gonna live through this somehow. what a sweet person…

"Y/N, i've been searching all over for you... Y/N? are you alright?"

"hm? oh, aether. yeah, i'm alright, it's... well, it's nothing, dear. did you need me for something?" he tilts his head a little, probably finding you unconvincing. "lisa and jean are starting the search through the library's archives for maps so we can find our entry point. do you... feel up to helping out?"

"yes-"

"and don't say yes without considering how you actually feel."

nothing gets past your aether, it seems. you smile and take a deep breath, allowing your mind to visit each part of you. your side hurts, what's new? ...but it hasn't been hurting like before. it's a constant dull ache however the twinges of pain that you've come to know well are fewer and further between. you're less lethargic too, and it's easier to keep up with conversation.

"i really do feel better today, aether. i want to help as much as possible before... well, you know."

his shoulders droop a little and he slides his hand in between yours. "i know. it's who you are. can't exactly complain about it when it's one of the things i truly love about you."

truly... oh. that's... made you blush. "come on then." he sighs.

then, under his breath "really? that's what makes you blush?"

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! so there we have it, the troops have been deployed, Y/N's has one foot out the dog house, and venti has some pretty strong belief in her luck too. strange indeed

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

i'm gonna try to start posting more regularly and then regret making promises i can't keep so lemme know if there's like a good day for me to post? again, peep my entire profile, i do not know how ao3 works.

Chapter 11: the modern day casanova

Notes:

great evening for a new chapter, my good-looking fiction goobers, eh? i am posting a bit late bc the illness bug has bitten hard :(

but some jeanlisa always clears the sinuses. happy reading

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

full-bodied, a little tangy, and caramelly. you give the warm mug a soft squeeze before raising it to your lips and inhaling. a mellow scent greets your nose. you take in one more breath, feeling your eyelids flicker shut in pleasure, and then take a sip. smooth, liquid gold foam slides across your tongue and down your throat, coating your entire mouth in a soft, delicate flavour. nutty, sweet, the perfect viscosity. you have to revel in the ecstasy.

"Y/N's gone to her happy place." a dead-pan voice remarks beside you and there goes the immersion. thanks, aether. "Y/N has since been interrupted, and is now stuck back here with you." you retort. aether grins cheekily.

"so i take it you like it, cutie?" says a smooth voice and you're back in paradise. man hath the lord blessed you today! first, you're alive, then you manage to get past most of the awkwardness from yesterday, and now! lisa sits opposite, her soft green eyes staring into yours. she looks completely at home, snuggled up against the padded arm of one of the sofa chairs in the library. blessed indeed.

"it's incredible. it's like comfort personified, possibly the best cup of coffee i've ever had." you relax further into your own seat, basking in the aftertaste. "should i be worried that jean is this good at making coffee?"

lisa chuckles. "she's addicted, it's true. now, i hope you'll react this well to my vegetable soup too. i made it with you in mind, darling~"

you feel your cheeks grow a little red. with you in mind...?

a sharp elbow digs into your un-purple side. "how kind of you, lisa!" aether exclaims, a little pointedly. "now, shouldn't we be getting on with looking through the maps? we need to find our entry point to the tunnel's fire exit as soon as possible."

"mmhmm, let's do it~ jean should be back any moment with the- ah!"

jean appears as if by magic, carrying a huge box filled to the brim with files and documents. oh boy. "i found most of these last night in the back! there's a few more boxes to bring in too." strains jean as she struggles under the weight. you jump out of your seat to help her, feeling the others tense up as you do. "ah, thank you, Y/N. now, i've already gone through this and this last night with no luck. aether, if you could start there and..."

jean begins divvying up the work and you have to take a moment to appreciate how much she has already done. all the maps have been categorised, the boxes labeled, and she already sort of knows what's where. when exactly did she do all of this?

lisa reads your mind. "jean was working on this late last night. after... everything, she couldn't sleep."

oh.

"... i'm sorry."

you feel a gloved hand rest upon your head. "don't worry about it, darling. jean does love to work hard regardless. i have a tough time trying to get her to relax really."

"Y/N? could you take care of this box over here?" jean calls over, again by magic. no point feeling guilty now. what's done is done.

you begin to sift through the file and documents in the box, feeling the dated paper under your fingertips. b38, f74, floor plans for 0028d889f... who in the ass named this shit? they sound like hex codes or something and if you suck at geography, IT and website design are even further from your realm of 'things you can actually do'.

guess there's no choice but to go through each one to figure out what they contain. you pick up one roll and unclasp the string tying it together. it bursts to life, unfurling out into multiple large sheets of paper depicting maps of different countries and nations. one look and your geography trauma slaps you in the face. god you hated that class. lumine was always such a smart-ass about it too. oh Y/N, how can you not know where nakamura city is on the map? how about you find your mum on a map?

...

great comebacks aside, you glance over the map to prove your 'mind lumine' wrong and... um... what. in the fuck.

why... why would they make a world map THAT DOESN'T HAVE THE NAMES ON IT? you stare at the bullshit, trying to figure out which idiot got fired because of said bullshit, but all you can see are lumpy masses of land. well, there are more maps around, let's see... HUH?!

someone is fucking with you right now. a completely different world map yet the same bullshittery. no names in sight. lumine would be witch-cackling at you right now.

"Y/N?"

speak of the devil and her twin brother shall appear. "aether, you will not believe this BS." you lift up the map to show him and he snorts.

"only you would be able to find a terrible map like that, Y/N." he chuckles with no mercy.

"oh, shut it, you rat. who even makes maps without any names on?"

aether drops down next to you and links his arm with yours so as not to get in your way. "aether?" you turn to face him. "don't you have your own box to be getting on with?" he looks surprised that you've even noticed, and then he goes a little red. "well, jean has pretty much done most of my box. and then i tried going through another one before she told me she had sorted that one too so..."

and? you and jean brought like 12 boxes in, there's plenty of...

ah.

"oh, aether. you really don't have to worry. this kind of thing isn't going to strain my injury. but it would be nice to spend the time together. you can do that pile there."

"that's exactly why i was... coming over... ugh, no matter. why are you looking at world maps anyway? we need floor plans, silly."

"i know, i know, i was just... well, you know how much lumine used to make fun of me for my sub-par geography skills. i had to prove i could read maps to myself."

"aha, she used to call you a dunce whenever you labeled them wrong. buuuut you were pretty useless. it's not like geography's especially hard."

"ooo, you are dangerously close to getting bitten."

" i-i thought you got over that whole thing?!"

"my teeth are itching, aether~! and your arm is looking especially delicious." you give him an unhinged smile.

"please don't, you weirdo. save it for lumine, she was the one who..."

you wait for him to finish the sentence before realising. he's... only now remembered that you're not gonna be around long enough to see lumine again. aether looks down in despair, his eyes filling with tears. your side is hurting really badly again. yesterday hits like a ton of bricks. is this what it's going to be like until you pass? happiness and then one reminder that sends you both spiralling down?

your hands are moving to dry his cheeks before you can process anything yourself. you stroke away each tear, holding his heavy head as he breathes slowly and deeply. he eventually opens his glossy eyes again and looks up at you. "... s-sorry, i- i didn't mean to-"

"aether." you bring his face a little closer to yours and smile to show him it's ok. "we're here now, right? let's make the most of this. and then, when you find lumine, you can bite her for me, ok?" he gazes right into you and you have to pray he won't see straight through. no one would ever really be ok with this. but for his sake, you need to appear accepting of your imminent death and saint-like. you're already leaving him to deal with this shitty world alone. no crying in front of him too.

"o-ok." he rubs his cheeks and breathes out one last time.

and then you get to work.

it's lunch before you know it. you amble over to the kitchen to find a delicious smell. lisa stands over a large cauldron-like pot, stirring like the sexiest witch you've ever seen. "it looks amazing, lisa! ah, but i'm sorry you've had to make it all by yourself."

"don't be silly, dear, i love making my own vegetable soup. I pop a big bunch of vegetables into a cauldron- ah, pot and then stir it with a long spoon. here, why don't you try it for yourself. open wide~"

she extends the spoon out towards you and you're faced with an ultimatum. the cool, proud side of you wants to be the one feeding her. but god, how can you not accept homemade soup from lisa? then again, don't you want to be the top-

"come on, ahhhhhhh~"

you bite down on the spoon without hesitation. lisa looks very pleased. "well~?"

"... it's good." you grumble, feeling disappointed in yourself. "is there anything i can help with?"

"mm, that's alright, it's almost ready. oh, but i would really appreciate it if you could convince jean to stop working. she hasn't taken a single break yet."

"gotcha. i'll do my best!"

you find jean surrounded by piles and piles of paper. she doesn't even notice you until you're stood right in front of her. "jeaaaaan~"

"huh?! oh, Y/N. goodness, you scared me. is something the matter?"

you tap your foot in annoyance. "could you tell me the last time you took a break, please?"

"uhhhh... maybe..."

"trick question, you goose. it's been hours."

"a goose?!"

you bend down so that you're level with her. "you have to take better care of yourself, jean. besides, your loving wife has made some pretty amazing soup and wants you to try it."

"w-wiFE?! um, no no, that's not... lisa and i are good friends. only that... though i always have peace of mind when she's around."

...

god is dead. they aren't MARRIED?! you have some choice fucking words for that fuckhead upstairs. they aren't even DATING?

well, there will be no unresolved sapphic pining in this library.

"jean, you really aren't dating lisa? i mean from the way she talks about you, i thought..."

"lisa... talks about me?" and you've got her! heheh~ "of course! all the time. maybe you should ask her how she feels about you..." you begin to pick up some cluttered documents to hide your stirring of the pot.

"do you think?... oh but i can't focus on anything else but barbara at the moment..." ah. a fair point. however… "i can see why you might be hesitant but... it's important to live without regrets. take it from me, you don't want to hold back and then never have the chance again."

her face goes from shy and flustered to down and mournful very quickly. "Y/N... maybe i will ask her, just in case... how are you feeling? has this day been too much?"

"i'm alright, don't worry. i feel better today than i have this whole time. actually, if it's not too much trouble..." you sit down properly and look straight into jean's eyes. it's arrogant, selfish even, to ask. but what choice do you have?

"go ahead, Y/N. you can ask me anything."

it's jean. she'll give it to you straight. come out with it already. "jean... when i'm gone, aether will be all alone. there's a lot of things i'm worried about but i know for sure that he won't stop looking for lumine. that's why... if it's not too much trouble..."

"you want us to take care of him?"

hearing jean say that... god, you're really going to die. and you won't be able to protect aether any more. that job will pass on to other people and though you don't doubt that there are kind people out there who will protect him... will they dedicate themselves to the level you have? are they ready to die for him like you are? without hesitation, without question. to live entirely for another person goes against your biology, your own natural instinct. the only other person you truly believe can protect him is lumine.

"... yes please."

jean is a good person. diluc and kaeya are good people. everyone here is trustworthy and reliable. they'll protect him, you have to believe that. they will get him to lumine and then it will all be ok. "... i have to put barbara first. and then we will search for lumine. is that ok?"

"mmhmm! thank you, really. it means the world. i... i don't know if i have enough time to make it up to you but i'll try."

a flash of sadness crosses her face and then she smiles. "no problem, Y/N... let's take a break then."

it's a few hours later when you finally find something promising. and thank fuck because back pain + internal bleeding pain is a new and potent combination.

"tenbury tunnel!" you yell out from beneath a pile of papers. "I think I got something!"

the others gather round your pile of crumpled papers and manila file folders, hopeful. you unclasp the latch at the top of the folder and carefully pull out the dated papers. "uh, tunnel location and all required blah blah blah, elevation... AHA! plans!" searching along with your finger, you spy the fire exit route in green running up and across the tunnel as suspected. then rifling through the pages and pages of details regarding the tunnel's plans, you find the assembly point at... "laaaa...spirits... stadium" you spell out slowly.

"laspirits, huh?" jean ponders aloud. "i didn't even know we had a stadium in nakamura..." adds aether. how bloody anticlimactic, some stadium that no one's even heard of. what about the drama, the intrigue of where your fated journey would send you?!

"it's a smaller stadium on the other side of the tunnel that houses nakamura's sports team. it's also available for renting out for other events. makes sense as an assembly point considering tenbury tunnel is located in one of the most densely packed areas in the whole city." lisa says absentmindedly. you nod along with your mind just as absent until an idea pops into your head. "oh wowwww, lisa. you're sooo smart~ isn't she smart, jean?"

feeling aether's disappointed eyes on you, you start to wonder if you made it too obvious before a chuckle spills out from your right. "ah yes, Y/N! where there is a body of knowledge, the chances are that lisa is acquainted with it. this, paired with her ability to explain things clearly and concisely, makes her quite the valuable resource for anyone with a burning question. i certainly wouldn't have been able to get this far without her..."

"my... aren't you going a little too far there, my dearest jean? i've only helped you out a few times here and there, you're the one who works exceptionally hard. though i will take the compliment, since you're offering!" lisa laughs at the end, smiling huge. you throw a look to aether and cross your arms smugly. "my cutie's obvious attempts aside, it's now clear we'll need to drive around tenbury tunnel to the stadium and then cross back over the tunnel to get in through the exit at the 5 mile point. there shouldn't be much in terms of obstructions since the route will need to be wheelchair accessible."

"hmm... that still leaves me a little unsettled about our route once we're in the stadium." jean trails off, anxiety and stress clouding her face once more. she looks worryingly tired.

"jean?" you call her out of her thoughts. "is there anything we can do to ease your concerns?"

she's quiet for a moment more then decides "we should be extra safe and check the library to see if it has floor plans for the stadium. i want to have our exact route planned out before we set off."

"that... might be a whole days worth of work considering how many floor plans this library has." lisa says carefully. "i see your point but... are we sure we want to take much longer to leave this city?"

... it's you who's holding them back. this definitely isn't the time for that. "lisa," your smile is determined. "it's ok. let's take me out of the equation for now. without those floor plans, who knows what you could run into? you need to know your route and a backup in case there's any problems. taking an extra day to sort that out is pretty much unavoidable so... let's be safe rather than sorry."

everyone in the room is staring at you like you're some terminally ill puppy. you've really gotta figure out how to make sure everyone stays aware that you're not making it much further. it's brutal, it's godawful cruel but... they need to forget about you so they can live.

"i could..." jean starts, seeming even more weary. "i could try and get the route sorted by tonight."

"absolutely not." the three of you retort almost immediately. lisa continues "there's no way we can let you stay up tonight, jean. you're already on next-to-no sleep as it is. how you haven't taken a nap yet..." she sighs.

something twists in you as you see jean pull a very rare expression of defiance. why... is she still trying to sacrifice her own wellbeing for someone who's going to die anyways? it's unbearably sweet and also puts so much pressure on you to survive to make it worth it. god, you're terrible but... can't she just give up on you?

"let's call it a day." aether pipes up. you look over to him as you feel him place a hand on your arm. "let's... leave this for now." there aren't enough words to describe how complicated this has all become now that everyone knows. but you trust aether to know what you're feeling. he's wonderful like that.

"then i'll get the tea ready for afternoon tea." eases lisa, placing an arm round jean and guiding her towards the kitchen. "it's my most important meal of the day, after all." she muses, looking back and winking at you.

you watch them walk back together sadly before aether pulls you into a hug. "you ok?" he asks into your hair.

"i... i don't want anything to go wrong because of me. i wish there was some way i could get everyone to focus on helping themselves instead of worrying about me, e-even diluc should have just been mad at me instead of trying to help. but it's my fault for telling you all in the worst way possible."

aether sighs. "you can't expect everyone else to want to punish you only because you're mad at yourself. of course we're going to worry about you. of course we're going to do everything we can to keep you alive."

he pulls away and smiles. "so get over it."

you spend the rest of the afternoon resting at aether's request (command). and man, has that previous interaction got you down. you mope about, bored of everything and unable to think of anything that might make you feel better. even aether's adorable napping face doesn't brighten your mood.

it's during an especially long sigh that you turn a corner and slam straight into jean, knocking the contents of her arms across the floor. "shit, sorry!" you splutter out, trying to cover up the pain from your injury. one look at the frazzled jean and... amazing, she didn't notice. "s-sorry, Y/N! i was a bit, um, distracted." her words come out disjointed as she scrambles, really scrambles to collect the books she dropped.

you lean down and begin to pick up the last of the fallen soldiers. "what's all this then? i didn't know you were a big reader."

"HAH!... uh..." jean practically screeches out, before covering her mouth and dropping all of her books once more. the scene makes you chuckle, your cheeks straining from your smile. "it's alright, it's alright, you're better than me. i'm never sure if i actually ever learnt... how to... read..."

you trail off as your eyes catch sight of the title of the book in your hands: 'dominantly yours'

next to your foot is 'laws, lies, and love affairs', 'wings of fate' sits on your left, and though you have to double check that your eyes are not deceiving you, 'kiss me like you missed me' slides gently from her lap.

"jean-"

"PLEASE... please don't." she hangs her head in embarrassment.

"uh... mhmm." you respond, still unable to comprehend what you've discovered. "a big reader indeed, huh?"

"oh Y/N!" jean cries out. "i only... wanted something to take my mind off today! and... and these books display a splendid array of emotions as subtle and fragile as spider-silk! they are masterfully written, i-i can't help but yearn for the mutual attraction spoken of in these stories!"

"jean, it's cool." you struggle to say with a straight face. "i'm not laughing at you, i promise. i guess i'm a little surprised, that's all. you'll have to let me know if they're any good." you pick up the rest of the books and then hand them to her like an offering.

"... thank you." she feebly takes them from you and stands up. and then stares even more feebly at the ground. oh, this is awkward... OI! no letting your own shit affect your relationships with these wonderful people!

"sorry about... before..." you force out, feeling a little guilty for apologising without having fully processed your feelings on the matter. jean jumps a little and looks up. "oh, no no! i should be the one apologising, Y/N! i... i feel as though our plans continue to misalign." she laughs awkwardly and then falls quiet again. "i do really apologise for that."

"continue to... oh, you mean about where we are headed next once we leave nakamura."

"yes... i do hope this hasn't made you feel an... aversion towards me. i-i must continue to work harder if it has."

you blink a few times before the message gets through. "what?! absolutely not, are you kidding?" this girl... she actually thought you didn't like her? oh god, this is because you've been fucking preoccupied with dying, you forgot to be nice to her. ohhhh, you suck actual ballllllsss.

"jean." you call out firmly with the corners of your lips tugging upwards into an exasperated smile. "that's not it at all. quite the opposite… i really really like you." boom, no way to be clearer than that... um... man, she's gone red.

...

"oh, my silly cutie~" a smooth buttery voice purrs from behind you. you spin round to see lisa and a little something clicks in your head. "AH, LISA! i-ii-i-i-i-i wasn't trying to step in your spot or anything, i-i-i-ii-"

she laughs hard, bent over double as she clutches her stomach. "goodness, i leave you alone for two seconds. she's a raging lesbian, dear. if a pretty girl tells her that they like her, especially like how you've done just now, poor jean's probably going to have a fit."

"lisa! you!" jean yaps indignantly as the accused interlinks her arm with yours, pulling you close. "poor thing~" she teases, which finally clues you in to the fun to be had. you grin and bring your face close to lisa's, eyes gliding back over to jean. "i can see why you like her so much~"

"my, you're a modern-day casanova. we'll both have to be careful around you, hmm?"

"or don't be." you say with a twinkle in your eye. "i don't bite that hard~"

"excuse me." an inferno asks from behind. and god you don't want to believe it but one look and...

"d-diluc..."

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! JEAN AND LISA FOREVER, I AM ON JEANLISA HILL BUILDING MY FOREVER HOME THERE... sorry, i just love them.

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope you're all in good health out there!

Chapter 12: fate and the fisticuffs

Notes:

what ho! my slinky fiction slonkers. it's time, and i know you've been gagging for it!

without further ado... The Diluc Chapter™

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

seething is the word for it. or maybe fuming? mad as a hornet for sure.

if seeing you chatting away happily this morning had pissed him off, your stupid attempts to joke around have diluc raving mad. your hands fall from lisa and clasp each other in front of you in emotional support. like a naughty schoolboy who's been caught setting firecrackers off in the hall, you hunch over and await 'retribution'.

"jean, let's continue this conversation elsewhere." lisa quickly throws out before latching onto her future girlfriend and walk-running away. you send a pleading glance to them as they pass but receive only quiet consolation in response. yup, you're so screwed.

"come with me." diluc commands and sets off at a ridiculous speed towards the front doors. it takes you a second to even realise you're meant to follow and then you hurriedly get to steppin'. "yes, mr diluc sir!" slips out accidentally and you watch his back twitch with disgust.

"... are you trying to be funny?" he asks in a low voice.

"n-no?!" you blurt out, fighting the urge to punch your own face for being so stupid.

"right." he charges forward even faster as you make eye contact with venti and pull the most expressive face you can. he raises his hands to his chest and bows a little to console you before slinking away.

you're so fucking screwed.

it's almost a relief just to reach the front doors and know that you don't have to wait a second longer for fate to send you the fisticuffs. you've already had to make peace with death, you can do this. diluc steps out onto the stairs and then stops. you take that to mean you need to stand beside him so he can more easily reach out and throttle you. you do you, d. you do you.

you spy him fishing something out of his coat pocket and wonder whether you'd prefer it to be a gun or a knife. both hurt like a bitch but the knife hurts even more if you push it in slowly. is diluc a freak like that? is he?!

"here." his arm extends out in front of you, holding a perfectly ripe red apple.

you look up to him and see a cold gaze staring out at the view before you. you look down to the apple in front of you and feel the warm feeling of another's kindness rising up inside of you.

there are tears in your eyes before you can help it. a choked-out "t-thank you." bubbles up and you clutch the apple gratefully.

"you are... feeling better?" he asks slowly. the tears spill out as you whisper out a "yes". you thought he would want to murder you after everything that happened, why is he being so nice?

it falls silent between you as you both stand and watch the sky turn warmer and warmer tones of orange. another sunset. you got to see another sunset. there's no way you can let this last chance to fix things between you and diluc slip away. who knows if you'll even wake up tomorrow morning? this random blip of a good day doesn't mean anything, you could die tonight if shit really wanted to hit the fan. so...

so why can't you think of the words to say? god, just anything. really anything at all, just a few words to try to reconcile or make him feel better or ANYTHING AT- "can we take a walk?"

...

not that though. that fucking sucks.

diluc looks over to you and you shrink under his gaze. way to make demands like a brat, girl. you really fumbled the bag here. "i..." you stare down at the steps and realise "i think i've been depressed on these steps one too many times." real fucking nice. super smooth.

"are you sure that wouldn't aggravate your injuries?"

"i'll be fine if it's a short walk. as long as that's ok with you?" you sneak a glance up at him. he sighs and starts walking slowly. somehow... somehow, that just worked.

you follow behind him for a little while, making the loop round a few of the buildings nearby. man, you should have brought some paracetamol with you too. and maaan, some awful bratty part of you wants another chance to bury your face in diluc's hair and forget your troubles. you're so distracted by that sinful idea that you almost smack straight into his back as he stops abruptly.

"i'm still angry." diluc interrupts the silence of the leaf-covered street, as if he can't bear to take another step. "you lied to us repeatedly, you put us in danger by coming out on supply runs despite knowing you were injured, and you clearly did not trust us enough to tell us the truth."

"i-"

"and don't give me any bullshit about that. if you had trusted us to act according to both your wishes and your well-being, we might not even be here." he finally turns around and glares at you. " i... i thought about trying to find medical supplies on my run today. and then i realised that there would be no point now. if you had told us from the start, we could have at least tried to help you. but you stole our ability to make our own decisions. that's what's angering me the most. you were so selfish."

that's... you've never thought about it like that. stealing their agency by keeping the truth to yourself. that was never your intention though. you had to make sure nothing stopped you from helping them, even if it was against their wishes or not what they thought was best. how can you apologise for something you'd do again if you had to?

"but i do understand your reasons too. you want us to survive. i know you would have kept your injuries a secret till even now if it meant we would live. i can't say that we would have made it this far without your help either. on that run, you protected amber when i couldn't. you've given us an opportunity to get out of this city and many ideas to support our plans. and you've... given us hope."

you gave them hope?

"you made us believe we could make it somehow. you convinced us that... even in a world like this, things could still be... fun."

"you thought i... made things fun?" you breathe out, completely shocked. he crosses his arms. "occasionally. in an idiotic way."

"oh diluc, i... i am sorry-"

"don't apologise. i know you don't think you were wrong."

"that's... i don't think i handled things well at all. i never ever wanted to hurt you like i have. but you're right. i can't apologise when i don't think my choice to help you despite my injuries was wrong." you bring your gaze level with his. "so... what do we do now?"

he looks at you entirely. completely. and then shrugs his shoulders. "agree to disagree. i'll believe in my way and you believe in yours. though if you dare lie to me again-"

hand to your heart, you swear: "i can sincerely promise you that i am not hiding anything else-" you freeze up as a couple other small details come to mind. diluc's eyes narrow. "Y/N." … "i can sincerely promise you that i am not hiding anything that would cause you to be upset. only a few legally binding contracts that prevent me from revealing some small boring facts about myself. really, it's nothing interesting."

"so you are some sort of spy." he tilts his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips. you bite down on your tongue before any more idiot words come pouring out. "... fine. there is something else too." he adds. "something else?" your heart does a mini somersault in your chest.

"yes... kaeya was right." holy fuck! that's the most surprising thing he's said all day. "i shouldn't have gotten so angry at you."

ah. "that's alright, diluc. i deserved it."

"but it wasn't the appropriate time or place. you were in no state to be yelled at." "it's fine, really-" "Y/N. let me apologise." "but-" "Y/N."

the bullheadedness of both of you is plain ridiculous at this point. you can't help but laugh a little, finally feeling lighter after all that happened yesterday. you settle into a smile and ask "agree to disagree?" that ghost of a smile comes back with a vengeance. you swear you really almost see him look happy. "stubborn and selfish." he whispers under his breath, turning back towards the library.

you gasp dramatically. "w-well, you- you yelled at a dying girl!"

he sends you a look and you ease backwards, hands in the air. "too soon?" you offer, which he declines to respond to. but no matter. diluc seems to have forgiven you in his own way and that's all you could have asked for. you couldn't let things stand how they were and you were running out of time to make things right. well, thank goodnes- OWWW

you breathe in sharply and look down to see that where you had landed your next step was a lot higher than you expected, meaning you had sort of stomped down with too much force and strained your injury. in other words, ow fuckkk.

"mmm, walking it off, walking that off-" you attempt to carry on forward, clutching your side before an arm blocks your path. "no, you're not." diluc cuts in and gives you a particularly aether-like look. "i'll have to carry you, will i?"

"what?! no way, i don't..." you begin to resist before recalling a since forgotten event that happened but a yesterday ago. "wellllll, actually... if it's not too much trouble..."

"hmm?"

"could you carry me on your back?"

diluc's eyebrow raises to the heavens. "seriously?" you stare at the ground, feeling self-conscious. "sort of... yes?"

he lets out what you've learnt is his signature sigh and bends down to let you climb on. you wrap an arm round and he catches hold of your legs once more, just like yesterday. but it's so much easier this time. diluc feels so so safe, which is ridiculous considering how fucking capable you are, you could run circles round this guy. maybe it's the broadness of his back or how he effortlessly hoists you up like you weigh nothing. you have to wonder... could you ever make other people feel safe like diluc does?

"i can hear you thinking from here." interrupts your thoughts. suppose that means he wants to know what you're thinking about? right?

"uh... i was just thinking that you're sort of amazing." you feel his hands tense around your legs the slightest bit. "is it weird if i say that i wish i could be like you?"

"what in the world possessed you to say that?" he asks exasperated. he's turned his face away from you completely so, with no clue what he's feeling, you decide to lean further into his shoulder and close your eyes. "you feel so safe. i want to be able to make people feel safe like you do. but you know what? under normal circumstances, i'd be able to carry you like a princess." you laugh. "can you imagine that?!"

"mm" he groans a little. are his… ears a bit more red than usual?

"and that's the other thing. it really feels like i can say anything to you. even though i was so terrified of talking to you again after everything that happened, now i want to tell you all the stuff i'm thinking."

"please don't." "oii! i'm opening my heart to you here, let's have some mercy on me!"

it falls pleasantly quiet again. the gentle breeze knocks a few leaves around, whipping up shades of bronze and apricot and marmalade. the shade from the surrounding buildings feels nice and cool. you can see the red brick of the library in the distance, coasting into view. your home for now. where so many people that you care about are now. it's going to be ok.

...

maybe there's a little more time left to try and make things right.

"you know, kaeya told me something the other day." you start. diluc gives a small noise of disinterest. "he said that the world needs people like you. i'm starting to see what he means."

he continues to stride forward silently. "did you tell him... that you thought he was right? about the whole yelling thing or whatever?"

more silence.

"diluc... um, why are things like this now? kaeya said that you were once brothers." he finally lets out a bitter chuckle, as if you've said something absurd. you know you're pissing him off, you're crossing the line, and you are being way too nosy considering you were in the dog house mere minutes ago. it's not fair of you to ask around but... you don't have the luxury of time if you're gonna try and be there for your friends. it's clear no one is happy with how things are now.

"brothers..." another resentful laugh. "we grew up together, that was all. when his father abandoned him, we took him in. and yet he still..." he trails off, lost in thought. "you grew up together. that explains a lot." you nod assuredly.

"you aren't about to say we're similar. you would be sorely mistaken if you were."

"wellllll, you say that but i swear i could get you two confused when you each leave a room. with such dramatic flare, it's identical." he groans again like a wounded man and you smile. "you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, of course-"

"you're clearly desperate to know."

"ah... guilty. but i can't help it. i... don't exactly have a lot of time to learn more about you. that's no one's fault but my own of course but..." you look into his eyes, pleading a little. "forgive me for asking?"

he looks back at you with this attentive look, really looking at you like before. again, you have no idea what he's thinking. will he...?

"my father owned a few hotels. i was next in line, set to take over when i was ready. this was back when kaeya and i were still... when things were different. we did everything together and so my father decided kaeya could take over one or two of the hotels too and i would manage the rest. i had been training my whole life for this role. but kaeya hadn't shown interest until later. i think he... he seemed to feel some residual loyalty to his previous family and never fully felt that he was one of us."

diluc pauses at this and you can understand why. complicated feelings such as those, they are a tough pill to swallow.

"my father's health declined over the years due to overwork. more and more, i wanted to relieve some of the weight from his shoulders and so i trained as hard as i could. but precisely as he was starting to think i was ready, kaeya signed a deal behind our backs with one of our competitors. it... it broke my father's heart."

he spits out the words like venom. anger and sadness toiling away, hand in hand. you can see both sides already and how directly they conflict. this isn't something that has a clear conclusion. stories like that... in a world like this, is there enough time and space for them to ever reach an ending?

"diluc..." you reach around and pull him closer. it's sort of like hugging a brick wall but you hope it makes a difference.

"it killed him in the end." his voice breaks slightly and you feel your heart ache at the sound. "he threw himself into his work harder than ever until... he had nothing left to give. and that's how i succeeded him."

working too hard... despite your limitations. it finally clicks into place. finding out that all this time you had been working yourself to death with your fatal injuries, he must have felt that pain all over again. you did that to him.

and he's still carrying you now, undeterred.

you both reach the library and climb the steps before diluc stops to let you down. he lowers slowly, releasing your legs and remaining still till you're steadily on your feet. your hand brushes against his as you separate. as you both straighten up in front of the doors, you feel like it's the most natural thing in the world to catch his hand again and squeeze gently.

feeling him look at you, your eyes remain glued to the doors, only the wisps of a smile on your face. "they're hiding behind the doors."

diluc turns back to catch a view of venti's green hat in the corner of the window pane. "ugh..."

you laugh a little and call out louder. "we're coming in now! so you might wanna move back." the door clatters, clearly from the movements of some nosy individuals, and you thank yourself dearly for deciding to take a walk instead of staying here. hooooo nelly, were you not expecting that conversation to go the way it did. you're gonna have to really think about how forward you've been out of nowhere. why...

why did it feel so right to be so familiar with him?

"ready?" you ask, not entirely ready yourself. a sigh is followed by a "let's get this over with." and you both step forward to open the doors.

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! bro, if i didn't love diluc before, i absolutely love him now. i always imagine him as sassy, edgy, and kind.

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hope everyone's excited for when we finally, FINALLY get out of nakamura city (in the next few chapters... sorry.)

Chapter 13: now, who turned venti into a blanket?

Notes:

a nice evening for a read... is it not, my yieldless fiction youths? and brothers, i am ill again for the 3rd time in a month and half so do not me for any spelling, plot holes, anything.

bon appetitties~

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

it's like a garden of statues the moment you step in. everyone has spread out equally and found inconsequential tasks to complete in an almost comedic fashion: reading upside-down, standing quad stretches completely out of the blue, reading off 3-year-old posters from the bulletin board. but what do you know? maybe bill's dubstep tuesdays really will change jean's life.

"what are the chances? everyone's already here! hey, nice work on polishing those shelves!" you throw to aether. "but, just for future reference, using a cloth instead of your bare hands is usually more effective."

to your surprise, he commits to the bit and continues smudging dust round, his shoulders shaking with laughter. good for him.

"hmph. i'll begin preparing dinner." diluc saunters off, not finding the situation quite so hilarious. you follow behind, spinning on your heel and declaring loudly, "i'll help you, since everyone else seems soooobusy. work hard, guys!"

the incident isn't mentioned once during dinner and you feel immensely grateful for it. as ridiculously forward as you were with diluc, some small part of you remembers to feel shame and behave a little more demurely for the evening. everyone else seems to be quieter too, though it's impossible to tell whether they're tired or still down because of last night.

but no matter, there's a few different people you've gotta find! you wander past the bookshelves, peering into the dark between each one for a glance of who you're looking for. gah, he's too tall to be this hard to spot. you come to the end of the line and sigh, scanning the rest of the room to no avail. but just as you turn round, you sense a body behind you and a hand pulls you into the darkness.

"looking for me?" that stupidly smarmy voice asks and you have to force your smile into submission before looking back at him. this bastard deserves a little ego-bashing.

"kaeya? oh no, i was actually looking for someone else. why?" you feign ignorance, watching his expression twinge with surprise. "oh, i'm heartbroken~ don't tell me you forgot now?"

you blink at him. "i forgot something?" his brows furrow the slightest bit, wait, wait, is he... actually upset? "oh well, sorry about that. anyways, i've gotta go find someone else."

"is that so? don't let me stop you." gosh, he's actually looks hurt... but this was an important part of the plan! the show must go on, don't falter now you bitch! "right, i'll see you later... oh! since you're here already..."

you retrieve the contents of your pocket and nonchalantly hold it in your hand in front of you, revelling in the satisfaction of watching kaeya's mad face grow confused. "and what's this?"

"well, i was really racking my brains for whatever all our 'flirting' could lead to, like you said." you sigh out, the reign you had on your smile slipping. "and then i realised i had this."

"... you did remember?" the poor guy's shoulders are almost up to his ears in frustration and your teeth have to sink into your bottom lip before you accidentally burst out laughing. who knew you could get under his skin like this?

"where's your faith in me? of course i did."

"but you-" your escaping laughter stops him and he seems to remember he's supposed to be mr. smooth and unfazed, falling into a slightly sour silence. "hehe, i actually got this for you a little while ago. after that morning where.. you know. but then every time we were together after that, it wasn't the right time for whatever reason. and then more and more stuff happened that i wanted to thank you for and it didn't feel like this was enough."

you unclasp your hand and show him the little brooch you had secretly picked up on your first supply run with diluc and amber. it's a small ornate peacock covered in blue and green iridescent jewels that shimmer in the evening light.

"i thought it was pretty and you were pretty so... made sense, right? but now, things are different. i'm no good when it comes to actual flirting and all that-"

"i could have told you that." kaeya deadpans and the rare bluntness of his words has you laughing again. "well, it's too weird! you're supposed to somehow know the person likes you and then tell them you like them without actually telling them that at all and... ugh, it's weird and confusing. so this is my normal obvious way of telling you instead."

you flip over the brooch and show him the inscription you painstakingly carved out on the back. in the middle of the smooth silver plating, it reads: 'and much more'. "

"you're much more than pretty. you're so kind and god, you're fun. but also like weirdly reliable and i can tell you anything and... i don't know, you seem sort of lonely, like you don't fit in. i got a real thing for lonely people, don't question it-"

"how? how is it that i like you?" he looks almost disappointed in himself, laughing wearily while pulling you into a hug. "oh, happens to the worst of us." you wrap your arms around him and grin into his chest. ah, sweet chest window~

"unfortunately, i really do like you. every time you leave, i find myself struck with the feeling." he mumbles into your hair.

"how do you think i feel?!"

"... even outright telling you how i feel doesn't faze you, it seems. how many poor souls have tried it and failed with you? and now, even i've got my work cut out for me..." kaeya muses, trailing off. you sink further into him, feeling the lethargy of the day and letting his words sit in your mind. what's he on about, hmm?

"um, kaeya?" you pull away before your tiredness catches up with you and look up at him. "i'm sort of exhausted from today, even though i know i didn't go out on a run or anything. um... could we save whatever you wanted to do till tomorrow?"

he looks down at you with no hint of any expression on his face. "it'll be hard... after hearing everything you've just told me. i'm rather desperate now. and we don't have much time left, do we?" you look away guiltily as he places a hand atop your head. "that's alright. tomorrow then. don't-"

"keep you waiting?" you finish for him. he just smiles. "... go on then. or that apple in your back-pocket might get forgotten."

"how'd you know about that- WAIT! where exactly were your hands just now?" you find yourself grabbing your poor behind protectively. "where were you pressing your cheek to so joyfully then?" he smiles in return... shit. he's got you there.

"to be continued, mr. man..."

"oh, i sure hope so~"

AAGH! you spin on your heel and flounce out of there. that guy... ooooh, he just gets you going. who's actually that flirty in real life? you can't stand it!

after a whole lot of huffing, you cool off and finally the other person you were looking for while the dishes are being cleared away. you spot the green man over yonder and present him with his strange currency of choice. it's clear from the way his eyes glide over the juicy red apple and twinkle at you that the apple thing is a thing with him. "it's been so long~ why don't they just grow from the trees round here?" he takes it from you and sinks his teeth in, humming in delight and chewing noisily. "truly the fruit of the gods." he sighs under his breath.

you laugh at his bard-idol antics. "goood?"

"mmhmm~ here, you take a bite! there's something i have to show you!" he places the half-eaten apple back in your hands and races off round a corner. following him slowly to give him time to set up, you eventually turn to find him clattering about with an acoustic guitar. "venti? where in the world did you get this?"

he perks up at the sound of your voice and skips back over to you. "sorry, sorry, i'm not used to its size yet. not quite my instrument of choice but it was the best thing we could find. kaeya and i searched for ages before we found anything!"

oh, man... that's so sweet. that's so SWEET!

"oh, venti..."

he laughs so cutely that you have to smush the urge to tackle him with a hug. "well, the serenade of the century has to be accompanied, no? i can't promise it'll be amazing but i'm well-versed in stringed instruments. it can't go that bad... can it?"

you can't stop smiling, HOW IS THIS GUY SO DAMN ADORABLE?! and social etiquette suggests that straight up attacking him with your affection like you might with aether wouldn't go very well - which is the most unfair thing in the world - so you settle for "i'm sure you'll be amazing, venti!"

you dance round to grab his shoulders from behind and guide him as he did with you the other day. "w-wait, Y/N? where are we going?" he asks, hesitantly following your directions. "to everyone else, of course? you're playing for all of us, aren't you?" you respond which has his expression turn slightly sour.

well, this is confuzzling, muddling, perplexing. what's he sour for? you then hear a quiet "but i wanted to play for you~" and wonder why he's not happy even more. maybe it's another weird idol thing.

after gathering the troops for a very different reason this evening, you sit round the big sofa chairs with high expectations. venti relaxes into his cushions on the floor and begins to strum, picking at the guitar with the ease of a true musician. soft melody fills the room and sinks into every inch of the wall and carpet. and then he starts to sing.

your eyes flutter shut, a smile growing larger and larger on your face. venti's voice is beautiful. not what you expected in the best way possible. and then you notice the words and feel your face blossom red with affection. it's all about you and a traveller known as aether and this blonde faraway girl that you've been dreaming of, exactly true to life. it feels like he understands you better than you ever thought and that really might make you cry. lumine... you wish she was here now to hear how much you miss her. you pray and pray that she's ok and that she's not too worried about you. aether's hand slides into yours knowingly in joint devotion and you lean into him, every muscle truly relaxing for the first time in days.

venti ends with a slowly spelt-out strum and lets the reverberating notes soak into the evening atmosphere. everyone's quiet, taking it all in. apocalypses can't take away a human's spiritual needs and that was incorporeal.

eventually, you open your eyes and find venti smiling at you warmly. the guitar in his hands is gently lowered to his lap and then he brings both hands to his chest. the others begin to cheer and chat but he continues to gaze at you like... he can't see anything else. in a strange sort of trance, you squeeze aether's hand and let go, moving off the sofa to crawl to him and kneel.

"so... did you like it?" he asks softly, moving the guitar to his side and leaning forward. you... you're gonna have some big ass problems if he doesn't stop smiling at you like that. but then again, it doesn't really feel like anything could be wrong right now.

"i..." you start, a little dazed. "that was something else... it was perfect, venti. oh the nerve on you before, how could you even worry about it?!"

he cracks up and you can't help but notice how his cheeks dimple and his nose scrunches up so adorably. oh... oh no. there might actually be a problem here. a big ass problem.

"sorry, Y/N, i'd never played a guitar before this, i swear! soooo, now you've heard me play, isn't there something you should be promising?" he winks.

erm good sir, please don't talk about 'promises' when you're looking this cute and winking. it's not good for your heart. "aha, i feel like i've become much more than just your fan now... a devotee, maybe? your disciple for sure."

his eyes widen at that. why does he look so surprised? oh god, too far? you've been known to go so.

but then he smiles, unlike anything you've seen before, and chuckles sweetly. "my beautiful cecilia..." venti leans even closer, bending down while bringing your face to his with his index finger and thumb. you're face-to-face with those gorgeous eyes once more and something inside of you gives way. was it fear? all you feel now is peace.

"who's... who's cecilia?" you breathe out, far too dizzy to really ponder over your own question. he bursts out laughing again, brushing his forehead to yours, and you feel like... he really likes you. he likes you?

'you convinced us that even in a world like this, things could still be fun.' diluc's words come to mind. you'd never thought of yourself as someone who made things fun but seeing venti laugh at you now... this is exactly why you were brought to this world. how is it you're only realising that now?

you spy aether storming towards you from the corner of your eyes but... you can't worry about that when the boy sat across from you is grinning so happily.

"venti." he states coldly as the tapping begins. "aether!" venti returns, smiling innocently.

"don't 'aether' me, you. what do you think you're doing to my Y/N?"

"aether~ don't worry about it!" you giggle and get to your feet, swaying from side-to-side. "everything's good~ isn't life just amazing? "

the face he pulls suggests he might think otherwise. "i really can't leave you alone with anyone, can i? would it be so hard to stay loyal to me?" he grumbles, which makes no sense to you at all because you literally step off ledges and smash into fences for this boy. your loyalty is embarrassing at this point. you figure you probably shouldn't mention that though.

"forgive me, oh great traveler! i just couldn't help myself~" venti's words have aether pulling you closer towards him for... some reason. "i'll have to bid you goodnight for now though, i've got to go find jean. sleep well, you two!"

he bounds off like usual, leaving you and aether alone. seems like everyone's head off to bed already. it's strangely a bit quiet between you two for once which leaves you wondering if aether might actually be mad.

"aeth-"

"i wish you wouldn't flirt with literally everyone we meet, you know?"

um... WHAT?! this man has chosen delusion. "a-aether?! you know i have no clue how t-to flirt or, or do any of that stuff! when have i ever-"

"don't even finish that sentence. i mean what was that with venti?! you think normal people h-hold each other like that?"

"i was telling him that i was a fan and we were, i don't know, getting along?"

"ugh... that's nice and all that you can interpret things in such an innocent way but that probably wasn't what venti was thinking." it wasn't? but what else would he be thinking? "i... i-i just find out that you're... you know. that we won't be together much longer. and yet i still feel like i haven't really spent any time with you and every time i find you with someone else, it's always super meaningful and i can't interrupt without feeling bad."

aether's eyes fill with tears which knocks any sort of rebuttals out of your head. you need to apologise but... for what? for being close with the others? there's no way aether would actually be mad at you for that. so what the frick is going on?

he looks at your worried but confused face and lets out a sigh. "you... why do you force me to say the most embarrassing things?" he mithers. "i-i want you to focus on me for the time we have left. spend... spend more time with me."

his words trail off as he grows more and more red which eventually has you catching on. catching on to how damn ungrateful you've been! how are you not collapsed to your knees in devotion for this adorable motherfucker? come on now, miss girl, you need to get your priorities straight.

"..mm...mmhmhmhm..." you try to hold back your sheer delight but it's no use. you just fucking love this guy. "my aether who i love with all my heart~"

he groans in embarrassment.

"let's go to bed!" you wrap your arms round his waist and lift him up with manageable difficulty.

"y-Y/N! Y/N, p-put me down or i swear to- Y/N! seriously, i'm gonna, wait! y-your injuries?!"

you begin walking after checking you're gonna be able to carry him. "it's fine! i'm fine, see? though you could wrap your legs around me-"

"Y/N L/N, be serious right now! put me down!"

it's a short walk to your beanbag but aether's whining only convinces you to take longer.

"ugh... i feel so emasculated right now. please let me go so i can find a hole to crawl into." he whines which makes you smile. "aww, pooor thing~ maybe don't base your precious masculinity on how liftable you are then."

"Y/N!" a cheerful voice calls out from beside your sort-of bed. "and... aether? what are you two doing?"

the body in your arms pangs and then wilts like spinach in a pan. "a-amber?!... why is she here?" aether practically sobs out. you walk over to her before aether loses all structure and becomes a sad little blob, placing him upright on the floor. "this one needed attention is all." "Y/N... i'm going to murder you."

she chuckles at your back and forth. "you seem to be feeling a lot better, Y/N! i'm glad..."

and that does make you think. what is really going on here? why do you feel so much better today? there's no way you're actually healing up, that's not possible. were the supply runs really wearing you down that much? it... it feels like you don't need to worry about waking up tomorrow. that's...

"you can look happy about that, you know?" aether says pointedly. apparently, your face must have looked concerned more than anything but who can blame you? this shit is strange. "well, come on then. you need sleep." the aether-turns-into-a-mother-hen voice has come to play so there's no chance you're staying up any later.

you plonk down onto the beanbag with a crunch and shimmy into a comfortable position with the other two curling up on your left and right. aether uncharacteristically has his back turned to you, which you assume is due to the whole 'emasculating' bullshit, so you of course snuggle up right next to him to piss him off. amber surprisingly follows your lead, even extending a hesitant arm over your shoulder. you must look like sardines you're packed in so tightly.

a satisfied sigh leaves you when you think about how lucky you are. how lucky this day was. everything went as well as it possibly could. if there really is a god out there, you pray they can hear you thanking them.

it... really is too good to be true...

OOFF!... "ouch..."

you're abruptly brought back to reality by the sound of someone walking into a bookshelf. letting out a low 'mm', you attempt to lift your groggy body onto its elbows and focus on convincing your tired eyes to open.

there's... a whole lot of darkness. and then the outline of a figure that's surprisingly close to you. like leaning over you type of close. but you don't sense any danger sooo meh?

and then the figure whispers. "Y/N?"

it's venti. "mm... yeah?"

"sorry... i must have woken you." "it's all good... you alright?"

"yes, i'm fine... i was wondering if i could perhaps stay here with you tonight? i think the two brothers got into a bit of a fight again, it's practically impossible to sleep in between them. now, i've had to sleep in some unfortunate positions but even i can't manage any sleep when it's that hot and cold."

"ah, i gotcha. stay here then~" you drawl, relaxing back into your spot.

"ehe, thank you- WAH!" the figure in front of you quietly yelps as you pull him down to sleep. without much thought, you tuck your arms around your new blanket and drift back into the dream you were having before...

the next thing you know there's an elbow digging into your face. "Y/N."

you let out a noise of indignation at being woken up again. "w-what?"

aether says your name once more, very firmly. you moan a little more. "whaaat? someone's leg better be falling off."

"your leg is going to be ripped off if you don't wake up right. now."

hmm... something's probably pissing aether off. but come on, you just got woken up befor- oh... it's light already? when did that happen? "i'm up, i'm up. but aether, not the vibes man. you should be waking me up gently like i'm a princess. where's my breakfast in bed, my good morning kiss?"

"... ha... hahahaha..." aether's laugh is so unnerving that you almost immediately prise your eyes open and find him staring daggers at you. "Y/N... what did we talk about LITERALLY YESTERDAY?"

"uhhhh... you want me to spend more time with you? what am i doing right no-"

it is then that the problem becomes apparent. a small sigh is breathed into your neck and you realise that what you thought was a heavy blanket on top of you... may actually be a person. a really really REALLY cute person, oh brother, oh dear, this is not good, this is NOT GOOD!

venti's surprisingly light as he lays on top of you. you can feel his chest pressing into yours, the slow rising and fall of his shoulders that you've wrapped your arms around tightly. he has curled into every part of you, with a hand bringing your neck right to his lips and two legs encircling your own. two people probably couldn't be closer if they tried.

the daggers from aether become machetes, claymores, the bloody sword of sheikh mohammed bin hamad. he might actually burn a hole through your head like x-men's cyclops if this continues. "would you like to explain to me how this situation might have happened?"

"i-i have no idea! i didn't even- AEETHER! please have mercy, please! mercy i beg you, that hurts!"

your cries of pain slowly alert the other two and they begin to shuffle awake. "a-aether, i promise, ow fuck, i PROMISE YOU I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON!" your desperate pleas finally make him stop and his brows furrow in thought. "if you're not lying then... venti?"

he finally releases you from his gaze and starts to stare (glare) at venti. "...don't tell me this was your doing?"

"oh, so much energy in the morning. a humble bard needs his-" "answer me or you'll find a boot in your mouth."

more effective than an alarm clock, aether's words wake venti up and he startles when he notices you beneath him. you both stare at each other, growing more and more red-faced... man, this is awkward. ohhhh, let this endddd

"i... only came here because i wasn't able to sleep. and then it seems Y/N latched onto me while half-dreaming. you, ehe, really held me tight so i just gave up after a while." he chuckles awkwardly.

mortified. let's just call it a day now, you're throwing in the towel. no point continuing on with this enlarged L under your belt. you are officially giving up, honestly thanks for everything, it has been a pleasure!

"so it was you, hmm? no idea what's going on, hmmmmmm?" through the cracks of your fingers that you're currently using to hide your face, you can see aether. you don't want to but you can. and hooooo boy, he is mass murder kind of mad.

"i... i don't remember?" you offer the equivalent of throwing liquid fluorine into a room full of chlorine trifluoride. somehow the fear of aether has you converting into science Y/N.

"YOU DON'T RE-" aether abruptly cuts off as you all freeze up. because...

why... why is lisa yelling?

Notes:

and that's it, folks!

hope you enjoyed, lemme know with some of that sweet sweet kudos if you did! kaeya and venti this chapter, god i love them both. also, I'm getting such bad cabin fever in nakamura city rn - would you guys forgive me if i tried to speedrun so i can get to my beloved zhongli sooner? I'll try to balance writing a good ending for this segment but also ASHSJFHSAKDJFHASKDFJHLET ME OUTTTTTTT

as always: if i done goofed and spelled anything wrong, no i didn't 3

also, if i any used br*tish engl*sh terms like lift or jumper or something, no i didn't 33

hoping my brothers-in-arms are currently fighting that good fight and aren't bunged up in bed with a bitchass headache

Chapter 14: a beginner's guide to the universe

Notes:

brothers! my bitchin fiction bros! another chapter for you, many apologies it is late. final year of uni is final yearing and I'm also fresh out of chapters for this fic...

but as the late great Shakespeare once put it: fuck it, we ball.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

you look over to aether with your eyes wide for a moment and then your training kicks in. you guide venti off of you gently but quickly and stand, speeding over to the origin of the yelling. the others follow behind you, murmuring in low voices. you reach the end of the bookshelves and then stop.

mm, don't even want to think it. not for a second. but if there's any biters out there, it would be best not to alert them to your presence. edging out slowly, you peer round the edge of the shelves and scan the scene. nothing out of the ordinary...

jean raises her voice this time and all sense of self-preservation flies out the window. you need to go rescue them right now- oop, looks like your legs are way ahead of you, you're already racing towards the source of the disturbance. passing the corner, bracing yourself and…

"JEAN! what is all this?!" lisa cries.

... it's a domestic.

"i only wanted to be safe, i-i-" jean counters, gathering together sheets and sheets of paper frantically. "you promised us that you wouldn't stay up! do you know how bad it is for you to not sleep for 48 hours straight?" lisa retorts, surprisingly angry considering her usual demeanour. but you're more concerned about the contents of her words. jean... stayed up again?

"i didn't make any promises precisely because i needed to get this done. and it's not like i didn't get any sleep-" jean cuts off as she finally notices you're there. "jean..." you say softly. she... forced herself to stay up again for your sake. you should feel grateful, y-you do but...

"jean, you shouldn't have taken this all on by yourself, dear. it's not healthy." lisa states, a little more kindly. as she does, diluc and kaeya appear, looking disgruntled. "what's the matter, lisa?" kaeya mumbles groggily. "jean stayed up all night again trying to find the stadium's floor plans so we know our route to the fire exits." amber fills them in.

"and why would you push yourself to do that?" diluc questions tiredly.

"because we don't have the time. we needed to ensure our route is secure as quickly as possible so that all of us make it. ugh, if only there were more hours in the day..." jean moans uncharacteristically. as the adrenaline leaves you, all that remains is guilt. "... i'm sorry." you manage to whisper out, hugging yourself, which seems to garner unnecessary attention.

"it's not your fault, Y/N." jean quickly responds. "it is now a fact that we need to move as quickly as possible. that's all. and after a... couple hours of work, i was able to find the floor plans we needed." she grabs a bundle of papers and hands them round. "the assembly point is, as we suspected, on the pitch but we have to go a rather convoluted way to reach it. but luckily, we do pass through some offices that will have a view of the pitch so we can be sure there won't be any obstructions before we commit to the plan. and all wheelchair accessible."

she looks pleased but it's a little hard to join her when you spot the bags under her eyes and the slight shake of her hands. diluc takes it one step further. "you shouldn't have done this, jean."

you watch her falter a little before a hard expression crosses her face. amber jumps in to cushion the blow. "i-it's amazing, really thank you, jean! it's just..."

"you promised to do this tomorrow for your own sake." aether finishes. jean grows indignant once more. "but i didn't promise. i knew it needed to be done as soon as possible and we have our route now-"

"we would have preferred you to sleep instead of doing all this work for nothing." lisa sighs and you notice... a slight draft in the room when she does. jean tries again. "but it's not nothing! the most important thing was that we secured our exit route, we now know we aren't going to run into-"

"let's just drop it, jean. you need to rest."

the wind (?) rises once more as jean seems to get more and more upset. is there... a window open somewhere? you'll have to remember to shut it before you lose the heat in the room. in any case, you should probably speak up. "thank you so much, jean, for everything." you step forward and place a hand on her shoulder. "now, go ahead and sleep. we'll sort out the rest, ok?"

she spends a moment looking over your face in thought before her tiredness really sets in. "this work will not handle itself... but, I suppose the occasional break is warranted. i'll go rest for a couple of minutes."

"much longer than that, dear." lisa laughs halfheartedly, taking hold of jean and dragging her to bed. the atmosphere finally lightens and you all breathe a sigh of relief. that was... not how you wanted things to go at all.

"let's get breakfast started." aether finally says to a chorus of agreement. and break your fast you do.

after eating, the plans for the day come up and a bit of a problem slowly reveals itself. "we've got our route, we've got bikes... what do we still need to do?" you ponder aloud.

"well, i don't know about you all, my fellow companions, but i have no idea how to ride a bike!" venti admits proudly. "i don't even fully understand how they function..."

"ah, that's your job, Y/N." says kaeya with ease. "you'll have to show them the ropes. i, for one, am very interested in what sort of teacher you'll be. don't be too harsh on them now~"

"oh kaeya~" you tease back. "as interested as you are in me, i'm afraid i'll have to disappoint. you'll be too busy finding a wheelchair for this one to watch." you place a hand on aether's tense shoulder. but what's he so tense for?

"so cruel... but if venti's learning how to ride with you, am i to go it alone?" he ponders aloud. diluc clears his throat and crosses his arms firmly. "you'll be coming with me. amber is learning to ride too." ooooooooooo lord. shivers. will they make it through the door on their feet or with their hands round each other's necks? kaeya's face certainly couldn't be described as pleased. "hm... could i really trust you to have my back though?" "could i trust you not to stab mine?" diluc retorts. an even further displeased expression marks kaeya and you realise this isn't happening without a bit of coaxing.

"uhhhhhh, i was thinking w-w-we should have a 'before the collapse of humanity' and an 'after the demise of the population's majority'... you know, a biblical bc and ad?"

everyone, literally everyone looks at you in despair. whoo, tough crowd.

you continue. "a-and then i thought that maybe it's best to forget what happened during the bc and focus on the ad now we're in it. of course, not always... just, uh, when it can make things easier?"

you end on a squeak then endure a 5-second silence as you watch each individual in the room cringe in their own way. aether finally raises his head from his hands and addresses the group. "i... i want to formally apologise for this mistake of a human being." "m-mISTAKE?!" you cry out. he doesn't even pause. "yes, she actually thought that might help. yes, she has always been like this. no, there is no cure."

"a-aether?! isn't that a bit-"

"in any case, you two have to go out." the aether-mother-hen voice (for short) is out once more. "you've been able to stop this idiot from getting herself killed on multiple occasions so you're clearly capable. anything that happened in the past needs to stay in the past, just focus on not dying."

a single 'hmph' leaves the red-haired man as he turns round to assumedly fetch his pack. kaeya watches him go and then chuckles. "what a natural leader you make, aether. i'll be sure to not die for you."

he catches your eye and smiles as he goes too. what a sauce-pot of a man.

the rest of the morning is spent giving venti and amber motorbike lessons in the car park outside the library. they pick it up slowly with amber exclaiming "it's sort of like riding a bicycle!" before accidentally twisting the right handle and shooting off abruptly. it's a fun morning, one where you can't really wrap your head around the fact that it's happening, but you also can't spend your final days wondering how you're still alive. life's too precious for that.

the other thing that plagues your mind is the unresolved plot from this morning that neither venti's glances nor aether's glares will let you forget. you're going to correct venti's position and suddenly he's looking back at you with a sort of curious look in his eye that makes your head spin. and then it's your body spinning round as you realise aether's drilling his gaze into your back like a tradie before payday.

you're very grateful for the arrival of lisa and a... slightly dishevelled jean?

... interesting.

the group decides to stop for lunch and by god, you just have to confirm your suspicions with this one. "hey jean!" you call out your prey. "did you sleep ok?"

"sleep... OH! o-of course, goodness. yes, i-i did, Y/N, very well! thank you for asking." she stumbles through her words like a spooked horse. very interesting. "you still look a little tired though. i hope lisa was able to comfort you somewhat. did you sleep together?"

"s-SLEEP TO... uh..." oh, jean... she's gonna have to work on not being such an open book. lisa coasts up with her plate, an easy laugh escaping from her. "you sure don't waste any time, do you sweetie? but what might you have said to make jean jump like that? let me think..." so she wants to beat around the bush? you can work with that~

"said something? i'm terribly sorry if i have, i only wanted to know how jean slept. when you called us for lunch, i couldn't help but notice she seemed a little tousled and... out of breath?" you feign innocence to the apparent amusement of lisa.

"what a curious girl you are~ now knowing how interested you were, i do wish we could have had you join us."

... you are talking about the same things, right? you force a blank expression on your face before that notion can make you blush. "to sleep?" you tilt your head. she picks at a piece of invisible lint on your shoulder before looking up at you. "amongst other things... what do you think, jean dear?"

jean seems to have grown redder and redder during your little back-and-forth, finally taking to staring at the ground like it's the most riveting carpet design she's ever witnessed. "i... i, um... i'm sorry for misleading you, Y/N. we weren't quite... sleeping so you might not be as willing to, um, join us. and lisa, you shouldn't lead Y/N astray, she could have agreed to something she didn't actually want."

you both stare at her in surprise before lisa snickers into her gloved hand. "oh jean, you silly thing~"

ah, seems she got confused like you did. "jean... you're so kind! thank you for keeping me safe from this temptress. who knows what schemes and ploys she might rope me into otherwise~" you bump shoulders with the pot-stirrer knowingly. "though i of course can't imagine what sort of things you got up to, i'm very happy for you both." taking the hand of each woman, you smile affectionately. "what a lovely thing it is to have someone."

they gaze into each other's eyes with a look that makes your heart melt. aww, they're really in love~ you wonder what it might feel like to feel like that for someone. of course, there's plenty of people out there that you love but you've never really been able to figure out that particular brand of affection. while you get lost in your thoughts, you can't help but notice an exchange of glances that seems to hold a mysteriously different meaning.

"so my proposal, jean. you'll give it some thought?" lisa says- OH SHIT. OHHHHHH SHIT! pro-p-pro-p-pro-proposal...

jean looks at you feebly. GIRL WHERE'S THE ENERGY? YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! "it... it would need Y/N's full, informed consent." consent? do they want your blessing- nO THEY WANT YOU TO OFFICIATE THE WEDDING?!

"mm, and then? i know it's very new to you but i believe we can make it work. you do like her, don't you? so we should ask her, yes?" IF THEY CAN'T MAKE IT WORK, WHO CAN? you've gotta make this the best fucking apocalypse wedding to ever grace this land.

"ah... i do." jean seems to be fidgeting which is buck wild because IMMEDIATELY YES! yes you WILL DO IT! you wait excitedly. "she's... ok, i-i... i accept. but only if Y/N wants it too. i'll ask her-"

"yes, yes! a thousand times yes! ohhhh, i'm so happy you asked me!" you're practically jumping for joy, ah it's gonna be amazing! you gotta find a gown to wear, ooh or a suit!

"y-Y/N? please wait a minute!" jean exclaims but NO TIME, GOTTA PREPARE EVERYTHING! you race off to find some paper and pencils to draw out the extravagant gay wedding of their dreams, incidentally ignoring them as they call your name from behind.

while the motorbike lessons continue into the afternoon, you find yourself in an even tougher predicament than before. now, not only venti and aether are acting strange but jean's joined in on the 'merriment' too. it seems that every time you come over to help her refresh her memory, she has something unrelated to tell you. and every time she tries, someone else comes over and she quietens up. you're already struggling under the pressure of this MASSIVE NEWS THAT YOU WANT TO SCREAM FROM THE HILLTOPS... so you + the newly engaged + someone not already aware is not a combination you can handle at present.

needless to say, you've done more escaping conversations in this one afternoon than you have in your entire life. the red and blue hair that appears on the horizon cannot come quick enough... but it's a little worrying to you that your first thought when you see them side by side is that they really remind you of the pills you've been popping over the last few days. you decide to keep that comparison to yourself.

"ah, Y/N!" kaeya eventually calls over.

"kaeya, diluc! welcome back. i gotta say i'm a little surprised. when you both left this morning, i was sure you'd be back about 10 minutes later and we'd have to tear you from each other with a crowbar or something."

"as, uh, amusing as that image is, we're back in one piece." kaeya sighs. it's probably been a long day for the both of them. "how's it been going on your end?"

"easy as anything... sort of. i've learnt that the handles of a motorbike are much more reactive when you're a beginner. be glad you don't have to drive, you two. it's certainly no fun trying to pick it up right away."

"ah, but it is a crying shame that i don't get to receive any lessons from you. i'm sure there's much you could teach me-" kaeya's usual antics are interrupted by a grumble from diluc. but unusually, he just looks back at his brother and chuckles. "so sorry, diluc. i'm sure you've been dying to speak to Y/N this whole time. apologies for leaving you in the cold." … what's that all about? you look back and forth between them, discerning no new information despite your efforts. "did... something happen on your run?"

kaeya places a hand atop your head and smiles. "oh dear... you have absolutely no idea what you do to people, do you? to think even-"

"kaeya."

"hm? oh, don't you worry. i won't say a word if you won't."

uhhhhh, hello? come in, come in, 'what the' to 'fuck does that mean', over. can someone bloody scooby doo you in? diluc knocks kaeya's hand from your head in a well-practiced motion. "don't read into it. here." he pulls a strange set of poles, wheels, and fabric from under his arm and expands it out into a wheelchair.

"oh, nice! let's head over to aether and see if it'll work."

your trio walks to the boy that should be sitting down instead of trying to hobble from bike to bike and shows him his new ride. "this is... for me?" he asks stupidly. "uh, yes, dumbass. unless anyone else almost lost their leg ziplining around here?"

he pulls a face. "gosh, you've been soooo tetchy recently." which is just soooo not true, this bitch has been glaring at you all day for an accident. he literally called you a mistake earlier and you're not letting that one go. with a pinch of effort, the rat bastard sits into the chair and you push him round the others in a circle. "oh, this is gonna work! we're gonna be doing backflips and ollies and pop shove-its and-"

"uh-huh, uh-huh, no chance." "but lumine would let me~" "lumine would step on the hot prongs of a plug if it would give her a shot with you."

give her a shot? what's he on abou- "gah... don't think too hard about it, you'll give yourself a headache." aether gets up abruptly and starts grumbling to himself. "lumi is gonna kill me for that..." um. right. ominous aether mumblings aside, you have more teaching to do. your lessons continue on with varying degrees of success until the sun starts to set. jean calls everyone together for a strategy meeting at the sofa circle and you busy your mind with working out the smaller details of the plan alongside your friends.

"we'll need about one more day of lessons to make sure everyone's ready in time." you state, trying not to recall how many times amber shot off with only a small flick of her bike's handle. "does that feel possible for you, Y/N?" jean enquires kindly. you nod resolutely in response. "excellent. so we've got 4 bikes which venti, Y/N, amber, and i will operate. on the day after tomorrow, we'll drive around the tunnel to laspirits stadium on the other side in the morning."

she pulls out the controversial stadium floor plans and you watch lisa cross her arms almost instinctively. jean continues on without pausing. "using this route outlined here, we will ride the bikes through in their neutral gear while using the wheelchair diluc and kaeya brought to wheel aether along."

"we should have some people scouting ahead, ready to defend if need be." says diluc, clearly implying himself. "then i'll join you." you add on. "we need 4 to push bikes and 1 to push aether. that leaves us two in the 'vanguard' if you will."

"that's fine-" diluc begins to say before jean interrupts. "does it make more sense to have someone with a long and short-range weapon instead? i believe venti would be the better fit here."

"oh? little old me?" venti expresses, a gleeful tone in his voice. diluc frowns a little before sighing. "i suppose he can join me instead-"

"a-actually..." jean looks sheepishly. "Y/N and venti can cover both the short and long range with their skill sets. you've seen first-hand what Y/N can accomplish up close and venti's crossbow allows us to remove any dangers that are further away."

diluc's frown grows stronger in ferocity and fuck, it's too funny! "HA! oh, oh no! poor diluc, stuck all the way at the back." his glare only feeds your fire. "don't worry! if you have something to tell me, you'll just have to run allll the way to the front and let me know~" smiling at the fuming mess that is diluc, you stroll past a snickering kaeya, over to venti and hook an arm round his shoulder. "we'll be sure to take goood care of you, right venti?"

he chuckles nervously. "uh, i, ehe, actually don't intend to meet my end quite yet, Y/N."

you whisper back loudly. "what are you worried about? he can't reach us from the back."

"Y/N." diluc makes it sound like he probably can. "we still have more to discuss..." jean peppers in but kaeya's chuckles interrupt her. "hold on there, jean. this meeting has finally gotten interesting." he's clearly enjoying the situation but jean's right.

"aha, my bad, jean! now we've cleared up who's going to be protecting everyone," you announce loudly. "... um, what else was there?"

"there's still the case of getting through the tunnel, silly." lisa responds. "we'll need to think of our formation. Y/N is the one with the most experience riding, so you should ride at the front. venti, amber, and jean will ride behind. now, who makes the most sense with who?"

aether coughs into his fist discreetly. "i'll... ride with Y/N." aww, what a cutie 3

"i don't see a problem with that, right everyone?" lisa smiles, checking for the agreement of the others. there's a weirdly long pause before anyone actually answers 'yes'. and then kaeya speaks up. "hm, should we really have two injured people riding at the front of our little line? plus, someone who can fend off any of the wanderers who are too close by would make the most sense."

as the group murmurs in agreement at kaeya's thought process, you subtly slide your hand into aether's, already knowing the exact expression on his face. what a cutie 333

"with venti already riding another of the bikes, i believe diluc and his machete are the best choice instead." whoa... did kaeya really just say that? both yours and diluc's faces are agape. "what? you don't need to look that shocked." kaeya smirks. "besides, even i feel bad for poor master diluc. he's clearly so desperate to be close to-"

"kaeya." the tone diluc seems only to egg kaeya on further, but he sighs before it can escalate. "it's true that we may need to create a path from the front. i can clear our way through."

"well, that settles it!" venti chimes in. "better not to fix what isn't broken, right kaeya? our supply group seems to have worked so far."

"heh, no issues here. so that leaves four-"

"JEAN AND LISA SHOULD BE TOGETHER!" you blurt out, probably way too eagerly. "... no reason why."

"right." diluc says wearily. "that leaves..."

"i guess you're with me, aether!" amber smiles her dazzling smile and somehow that manages to get even aether out of his slump. "haa... looks like it. thanks then, amber."

"so then we just... drive right through?" you ponder. everyone looks at each other and the realisation hits. you've sorted it. you'll all drive through and then, well, you're out! "d... did we just get everything sorted then? there's no more stuff to collect or...?"

they all blink at you. "i guess... that's it." aether shrugs. "man..." you lean backwards, feeling light as air. what do you normally do after everything's sorted? ... oh. "we gotta celebrate!" you jump up from your seat at the realisation. "i-i mean, we did it! we're leaving!"

soon, venti's laughter joins your whoops of joy and you're both spinning each other round to sounds of everyone cheering. you did it! two days? you can fucking bang that out, easy!

"a celebration? yes, that feels important." jean confirms. "we must celebrate all that we have achieved together before this final push forward. does tomorrow night work for everyone?" the room fills with happy 'yes's' which sends you and venti into overdrive.

"we gotta find the good stuff for this! i want my whiskey before i make my final march!"

"oh, silly Y/N, it's wine you want, good wine. the finest wine this land can offer!"

"wine, whiskey, literally everything we can find! wasn't there some bar you mentioned?"

"yes, yes, a tavern afar! and i didn't clear it out contrary to popular belief."

"oh suree you didn't, i know you! but as long as it's got the goods i don't care. tomorrow night, i wanna get sloshed, floored, guttered! so, we making this a little competition, hmm?" you lean in close, probably super intimidating the guy.

"ehe, you sure you want to? i can really hold my liquor, you know?" his voice dips low and you realise you might have bitten off more than you can chew with this one. but no backing down is how you made your name in uni and you're not stopping that now. "come the end of the night, i'll hold your liquor. deal?"

he's back to laughing cutely. "deal. may the best of us win."

you all leave the sofa circle feeling amazing. a fully formed plan including no sacrifices or unrealistic expectations, what a win! you have to applaud the civilians around you for such a level-headed attitude towards what was always going to be a dangerous mission too. while deep in thought, you find yourself alone for what feels like the first time in a little while. and how strange it all feels!

stretching upwards as far as your injuries will allow you, you wander over to a new set of bookshelves that you haven't explored yet. the pine wood feels smooth under your fingertips as you drag your hand along them behind you. rows and rows of books on politics and war and botany and... ooooh~

the gold-leafed, embossed, midnight blue cover of a book catches your eye. 'a beginner's guide to the universe' has caught your eye. you do love you some space! it's almost like when you were made, they skipped the 'understanding geography' ingredients and doubled up on the 'appreciation of space' parts. but this particular topic holds a special space in your heart. it was the first time lumine opened up to you after all.

after the mud pie incident that brought you together, you found yourself naturally gravitating towards the angelic little aether that gazed up at you for the simplest of things. it was like he discovered you weren't gonna be mean to him and just instantly opened up. but lumine was...

yeah, she really wasn't sure about you to begin with. every time you tried to start talking to her in your own awkward kid way, she'd just turn red and run away. you had offered pretty much every treasure you owned to try and entice the girl to spend more than a minute with you and she still seemed to be avoiding you like the plague. you figured you had misunderstood that whole beckoning on the playground thing but aether kept assuring you that she liked you, she was just shy. but shy? lumine? even now, you have to wonder what he was on about.

only after a fateful sleepover did she even start talking to you properly. their family had invited you to stay over and you found yourself snuggled into the top bunk of their bunk bed with the two either side of you. god, you can still remember how nervous you felt between your newly made friends. their mum had promised you 20 minutes more before lights out and it felt like a timer had been placed on your chances of ever making friends with lumine. after all, if you had a sleepover together (a very prestigious event between kids) and you still weren't friends, it was over, no chance!

luckily, you were smart. way smarter than anyone gives you credit for these days.

see, you had noticed that your love for all things space was shared. the way lumine gazed at the board as the teacher waxed poetic about neutron stars had not been lost on you. and as a final attempt to reconcile for whatever you had done to make lumine dislike you so much, you had rented out a library book on the topic and shoved it up your shirt right before you got into bed.

aether had been poking lumine for the last 5 minutes - like the annoying rat you later discovered him to be - and it was really not up-ing your odds for being able to pull this off. you caught his arm leaning over you and linked it with yours which seemed to quieten him down instantly. and then you pulled out the slightly warm book.

"i... i thought we could read this." you mumbled out nervously before catching the twinkle in lumine's eyes... maybe you could pull this off?

"space?! boringg~" aether added helpfully. he was such a whiner back in the day... has that changed at all? lumine leaned over you to bonk him on the head and settled down silently to read, resting beside you for the first time instead of leaning away from you uncomfortably. already a score! you open up the hardcover and begin following along the words with your finger. facts about rings and gas clouds and...

"shooting stars?" lumine breathes out. you struggle to contain your excitement and blurt out "they're actually called meteors! when a piece of rock gets near our world, they start to get really hot and bright and we can see them shoot across the sky."

"ah!" aether yelps and buries his face into your shoulder. "what if we get hit?!"

you chuckle and lumine sighs. "we'd see it coming from way off, stupid. but that's cool! it's actually a huge rock on fire? i wanna see one so bad..." she falls back from her elbows onto her back and tucks her hands behind her head. another strike of excitement jolts through you as you realise your chance. breathe steadily, you can do this.

you swallow the anxiety building in your throat. "um... actually... there's supposed to be a meteor shower happening next week." you trail off, letting the implication settle in. lumine's eyes grow a little wider and she looks over to you. you both notice how close you are to each other but for once, neither one of you run away. "would yo-" your breath hitches. "... would you want to, um, go?"

she just blinks at you. long, slow blinks of those gorgeous long lashes, like she can't believe what she's hearing. her golden eyes reflect your own petrified expression back to you and you're all good and ready to just give up and backpedal like crazy. then she nods once or twice, that adorable little nod of hers that coaxs her fluffy locks forward to cover her red cheeks. every organ in your body stops tensing because, holy smokes! she said yes... she said yes.

"Y/N?"

a voice calls out to you from a few bookshelves away and suddenly, you're back, staring at the sodden front cover of 'a beginner's guide to the universe'. another heavy tear drips from your chin and splats onto the cover, turning the midnight blue black. lumine...

"Y/N?" calls out again, closer, and you recognise it to be jean.

you pull the book to your chest, feeling the slight dampness through your shirt, before ducking down behind a discarded trolley. please, please... don't let her find you here.

footsteps pass by the shelves in a uniform manner, growing louder then quieter, and you wait for them to go, shivering. with fresh silence ringing throughout the air, your breathing slows and you actually remember where you are. at the library. safe... sort of.

a full-body sigh leaves you. it's ok. it's all ok. you should chase up jean and see what she wants you for. it could be important. oh, maybe what she wanted to say to you before? she's been waiting all day, it's definitely time to hear her out. you stand up again and stretch out the shakiness from your legs. delicately placing the book down on the trolley, you note its place for later and stumble forward towards the light. but something stops you right before the end of the aisle. before you can stop yourself, you glance back at the darkness of the shelves.

the book lays alone. forgotten.

when you die, all of this will be forgotten. your hopes, your memories, the twinkle in her eyes as you both settled back in to read some more. how much you love her... no one will ever know. you look up to the cool-toned ceiling, feeling your eyes fill with tears once more. "... what am i supposed to do with all this? all the love i have for them?" you ask.

and then, when nothing answers you because there's nothing that can answer you, you look back down and step into the light.