WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

165. Chapter 165

Orochimama

WhoaMama

Summary:

Alternate Title: The Snake Goes Ara Ara

By cruel trick of the fates, intervention of stupid gods, or just the apathy of an uncaring universe I find myself woken up as Orochimaru just after he had possessed a woman for his new host. Now I need to find a way to turn this hoard of sycophants and psychos into something that will not only keep me from an early grave, but also how to change it to a force of change in this messed up world.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Orochimama (Chapter 1)

"Orochimaru-sama. The process is complete."

That was the first words I heard coming to this world.

Moments before that I was having an experience I would liken to an acid trip through a haunted mansion decorated by H R Giger, which culminated in me eating a snake that was in the middle of eating a woman. In the process I somehow ate the woman as well.

Really messed up nightmare fuel stuff.

Now I made the assumption I was not insane, which any insane person will tell you is always a good idea, so I came to the very reasonable conclusion that I am somehow now Orochimaru. Not just that, I was him right as he had just completed his first time taking over a body after an unsuccessful attempt at possessing Itachi. I know this only because I have memory of doing these things myself, as if I was Orochimaru.

Was I making sense? Probably not. Either way, I had an entire life's worth of memories of study, training, practice, and interactions with people I have never known. Plus a whole lot of killing, bloodshed and torture. Lovely.

Though it was all that training as a magic soldier wizard that was also a scientist spy that allowed me to keep my face carefully blank as I replied to the minion that was in the room with me.

"Thank you, Hibiki-kun, you are excused." I said glancing at the man groveling before me before he finally left the room.

"Orochimaru-sama, before I go, as I'm sure you've noticed, your body is a bit different now than it was before you went to posses the subject. Would you like for me get-"
"That is not necessary. I will do my own examination." I responded.

"By your leave then." He said before backing out the door, head still bowed.

The man was clearly terrified of Orochimaru. Of me.

As the door clicked shut and I sensed the man walking away (and wasn't that wild. I could sense people now!) I ran a hand down my face and let out a groan. Of all worlds to possibly go to, this was very low on my list. The fact that the fates, the gods, or whatever the hell got me here decided that I should be shoved into the second biggest asshole in the setting wasn't great.

At least it wasn't the biggest asshole in the setting. "Guess Danzo is good for something." I mutter under my breath.

I turned to take stock of my new body. There was already a mirror set up in the room because, no joke, Orochimaru wanted to check his hair after the possession. Which made sense. No one had such long straight hair without it being something of a priority in their life. The same hair I had now, which was a bit different for me. My hair had always been wavy and would take hours with a flat iron to get anything like what my reflection showed. My skin was pale white, like albino white, and was decorated with purple lines just under my eyes. But many other things were still familiar to the old me. Same nose. Same ears. Same mole on the back of my neck even. But there were many things different. My cheekbones weren't the same. The shape of my eyes were wrong too. The list went on with most of my body features. Some the same. Some different

As I went to wonder why the answer came to me almost immediately. Whenever you place a soul into something it tries to take the shape that it's soul recognizes as it's own. It was a major principle on the Edo Tensei and also why a jinchuriki often released their biju's chakara in a shape similar to the biju itself. But in living flesh there was a certain limit to it.

Orochimaru was already well on his way to taking over this body when I, somehow, ate his soul and took over it myself. Still giving me all of the man's knowledge and ability. His summoning tattoo was also still present and my chakra could feel the contract was still active and would respond to my call. Then there was the position. If I left the room I also knew that I would find over a hundred men and women who would kill and die at my word now.

Well at least I was still a woman? Since the man had already been in the process of taking over a woman. The same one that he had when he fought Sarutobi if I could guess right. Small comforts and all that.

A knock came at the door.

"Orochimaru-sama, I know you might still be recovering, but you asked me to immediately bring you the report when it arrived. All the test subjects have passed away and none exhibited the desired results before they passed. Should I start on the next batch of subjects?" A voice called through the door.

What was he- Oh. Orochimaru was trying to forcibly give people super healing effects and failed at it. The next batch was supposed to be all children under the age of five.

Well that shit was stopping right now.

"No. For that matter please call for a meeting among my lieutenants. We will be making some changes in light of...new information."
I felt exhausted. The back of my mind noting it was due to a large amount of chakra depletion. But due to how Orochimaru was running this show like this was the Island of Doctor Moreau the longer I waited to make changes the more people would die. I'll have more than enough guilt and nightmares about the shit Orochimaru has already done, I didn't need the death of innocents added on to that.

I stood up and stretched before putting on Orichumaru's old clothes. They were hideous, by the way, but they would do for now. Walking out of the room there was only one thing on my mind:

Time to make some changes.

Besides, I was flipping Orochimaru. Pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to get them to go with what I decide.
-

"So, to recap." One of my minions said, disbelief clear on his face, "You want us to stop all research that has a risk of the subject dying. You want us to stop all current missions that involve gathering more research subjects. And you also want all of our spies to take lower risk missions?" One of my head researches asked.

"Yes. That is correct." I responded.

There wasn't a murmur in the room, all of the people in the room either too well trained or too afraid of me to vocalize anything resembling disagreement. But looks were shared and a tense nervous atmosphere settled into the room.

"Um...can I ask why? My research is close to getting results."

"I have plans now. Plans that will require me to have as many people to command as possible. I need lives not to be spent on other things currently. Plus I have now had a recent...disagreement with a group of very powerful people. We need to keep a lower profile for a while." My own powers of bullshittery were already pretty strong, but Orochimaru's training added in? They were pretty powerful.

But I was trying to sell non-violence to what was basically the people running Auschwitz. I certainly couldn't get them to do it on a basis of morality, and I did want a structure here. A base of power. This world sucked, and I would be a force to help change it.

Plus pretty much everyone with power wants me dead.

So, I had preserve what I had, and these guys didn't seem to be very happy with this idea.

"Orochimaru-sama, I can't accept this. When I joined up with you it was because you said I could complete my studies without any constraints, and you want to take that away when I'm so close to a breakthrough?" The man didn't yell, but the veins on his neck and face bulged with anger. Many faces around the table looked to be the same. Minus a few that seemed to affronted that he would ever question me.

I would probably have to make an example and this guy was making himself a target. But I didn't want to kill anyone. Orochimaru may have killed thousands, but I had not. Besides, this man could have his own children and fami-
Memories filtered through on how Orochimaru had found this man. His experiments had killed scores of people. The Hidden Waterfall Village was growing tired of failures and were reluctant to provide any more test subjects. So the man used his wife and son. His notes had been meticulously detailed about their deaths.

"Now, Tsukino-kun, I don't appreciate you making such a mess in my meeting room."

Confusion crossed the man's face. "Mess? I don't-"

I opened my mouth and Kusanagi's blade shot out and impaled the man in the throat before he could say anything else. He fell to the floor with a wheeze. The blade of the Kusanagi had done it's job so quickly no blood had even managed to splash onto the tool of death.

"Ara ara, causing such a mess." I said with a shrug, as if I was mother saying "Boys will be boys." Everyone else in the room had gotten deathly still. "Now then! I lost track of what we were talking about. Were any of you stating that you were going against my order too? I'm a bit tired and forgot who were on which side."

Shockingly, everyone seemed in full support of my plan now.

"Meeting dismissed then." I ordered as everyone quickly filed out of the room. Once everyone was gone I sat there and waited.

I surprised myself and didn't cry. I had thought I would cry after that. Instead I stood, walked over to Tsukino's body and carefully closed the man's wide, terrified eyes.

I didn't like killing. Even if I wouldn't cry over it, it was still distressful to me. Still felt like such a waste. But the threat of death is how Orochimaru kept these people in line, and until I could fill the ranks with people that I trusted the continued threat of death is likely the only thing that would keep them in line.

"Damn you, monster." I muttered under my breath.

Still, I'd drag this village into being more than a din of depraved monsters and mewling sycophants yet. Right after I figured how the hell to actually do that now.
-

It started with paint. I'd initially informed everyone that, since we were sending less personnel out, I had some busy work for them. Idle hands and all that. So I had gotten some white paint and had them put a fresh coat of paint on the walls. It's amazing how much a coat of paint can change the feel of a place.

It transformed the little hideout from being a gaping maw of darkness to giving off the feel of a government building. So basically only slightly better.

However, I then put in for the ceiling to be painted blue. I stated that it helps to keep people awake if the ceiling is the same shade as an open blue sky. It all seemed as a logical way to make them better at paying attention to their jobs.

I'll eventually find some nice paintings and stuff to hang up. As soon as I'm able to actually leave this pit and be confident none of my minions will start offing people.

I swear these people were like two steps away from Lord of the Flies.

"Ishida-kun. I have tasked you to research avenues of curing heart disease, did I not?"

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." He said, eyes low.

"And why exactly are you presenting me with a plan to cure heart disease that will also destroy their liver and damage brain cells?"

"I know it is incomplete, but I felt we were at the stage for human testing."

"You aren't. Continue to use the pigs that I provided."

"Ah. Um...about that. I am out of pigs."

I blinked and slowly looked up from what I had been writing on my desk. "I gave you one-hundred pigs. Last week."

"...yes Orochimaru-sama."

For fucks sake! These people didn't know how to research anything without killing something! Two weeks ago I barely stopped a group I had tasked with studying new implementations of fire techniques on a living subject. The technique didn't even require anything beyond a wooden target!

"Get out." I ordered.

"Yes Orochimaru-Sama." He said before bowing out of the room. A few seconds later a piece of paper was pushed under the door asking if he would be getting more pigs soon.

The fact that I don't bang my head against a wall is really a compliment to my sanity.

Finding things for these people to do that didn't violate international ethical laws on even THIS world was proving to be very difficult. Most of the minion's research and desires were not the stuff of a ordered and peaceful society.

Hell, Orochimaru wasn't even PAYING these people. They were here because they were messed up enough in the head to stay or because they were too afraid to leave.

That's not even counting the various people here to fight and kill. The regular people intended to be soldiers and guinea pigs. Though those were proving easier to please. I sent them out to hunt for food and tasked their commander to treat it as an exercise in stealth. To not let anyone see them and leave no traces. Even a town person mysteriously disappearing would be considered a failure. I also started up other attempts at actual training, which is apparently something that we weren't doing before.

We were apparently just getting certain subject to fine too whatever thing on them we were researching and that's about it. Which Orochimaru KNEW made them weaker and more liable to die. He just didn't care.
So I was doing the equivalent of assigning people D rank missions. Establishing working as a team being a thing that was actually important. And pretty much all of the rank and file soldiers, after the first two weeks of grumbling, seemed to be enjoying the new structured pace and feeling as if they were completing tasks.

After all, most humans want to work and not just stand around doing nothing. Even a NEET wanted to read and play games, which is a byproduct of wanting to feel like you were accomplishing something.
But I had also come to realize what it was I needed to do. I needed to make my own hidden village. I sort of had that, but I needed the village to have more strength. I needed something that could challenge one of the big villages. I needed something that's strength was acknowledged enough that I would able to call myself a Kage, a title reserved for only the five major ninja villages.

I would need to go recruiting. Hidden Villages are very competitive, and if I wanted to become a threat it would need to be rapidly enough that not everyone realized I was so much of a threat until I was more of a pain to take out that I was worth. More of these brainwashed edgelords here were going to help with that. I needed to take a page out of Akatsuki's playbook and recruit missing-nin. Which would, in turn, help me with raising the strength of the rest of my people as they start to train other people.

Orochimaru was grabbing up any random person with a Bloodlimit he could find before all of this anyways. So if a little work got put into them there would be a good base of power here. I just needed Jonin first.

"Orochimaru-Sama." A voice came from my door. I was so tired of hearing that. "I have come to submit for human testing." I was tired of hearing that too.

I ripped the door open and took stalk of the now very nervous woman at my door. "Kuchiki-san. I would like to clarify something. Your research is towards making plants grow faster, correct?"

"Yes Orochimaru-sama"

"Through applications of chemical and chakra treated dirt." I added on.

"Yes Orochimaru-sama."

The only thing I had demanded be approved through me for human trials was for things that had a high probability of harming someone. So rather than asking how the fuck her research would ever need human trial approval, I just strode past her and away and said, "Do not follow me."

I still had many things I wanted to check up on. Many subjects I want to help and try to actually cure instead of just study. But I was too busy stopping people from sticking a knife in a metaphorical light socket to do that. So, for the first time I decided to do something else. I navigated the purposely confusing corridors and entered a lab with a subject that could help me on my next project.

The room was full of only a giant chamber of water and various testing equipment ranging from computers (somehow) to seal arrays. A face suddenly appeared in the water, looking at me with a confused expression. I ignored him for a few moments to interact with the sealing array. In moments the chamber drained of most of it's water until only the water in the shape of a young teenager remained.

"Who are you?" he asked as he took on the colors of a normal human being.

"Ara Ara. You don't recognize the one that you begged to take you in, Suigetsu-kun?"

He raised an eyebrow, "You don't look like Orochimaru." He said with eyes locked onto my chest.

"Yes, well some things have changed."

I ignore his muttering of "Big change."

"I need your help Suigetsu-kun." I lean forward and lower my voice, as if I were whispering a secret, "What can you tell me about the personality of Momochi Zabuza?"

Notes:

A/N: So, this all started when, on the discord I write on, someone posted a picture of Orochimaru genderbent and said Orochimama. They didn't mean it directed towards me specifically but, if you notice my screen name, it made me put Orochimaru and myself together. And then idea after idea came and now you have the start of this. Though later on I think in story the name will become Orochitama.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Hibiki Nagisa had been the right hand man of Orochimaru for more than five years. It was he that had assisted his master for years in his research of immortality; defy death by changing bodies. The technique was perfect.

At least it was supposed to be.

His master had come back from his attempt on Uchiha Itachi beaten and bloody. The Sharingan somehow blocking the attempt to take over the young prodigy. They rushed to find a replacement for his master's failing body. They had decided to use the Setsushi girl as a host. Her bloodline might help in the research of Edo Tensei.

It was a good plan. Orochimaru-sama had agreed it was a good plan.

But now...

"Ara ara. It's good for you to make friends Suigeitsu-kun. We'll still help you get stronger of course, but it's no good for your growth to stay locked up in a tube all day." Orochimaru-sama walked down the hall with test subject 1701. The boy was alternating between staring baffled at the Snake Sannin leading him and the staring at the well lit and painted walls.

Orochimaru-sama had changed.

He had no idea how or why. The girl that was sacrificed was a broken shell with hardly a will of her own, there was no way she could could fight against his master's attempt to possess her.

But something was wrong.

The body changing after being possessed was normal. It was supposed to happen. It was meant to change to an appearance closer to Orochimaru-sama, not change to look even more feminine.

Then there were the personality changes, which wasn't meant to happen at all. Couldn't happen in fact. So the sudden change in priorities and personality must be because of a change in plans. His master must be doing all of this for a reason. This must be some plan to secure true immortality.

Nagisa just had to be patient and see how this plan would unfold. It would undoubtedly lead to scientific breakthroughs and greater amounts of power in the hands of him and his master.

He just needed to figure out how posters of felines and the words "Hang in there" factored into things.
-

"So where are you taking me?" Suigetsu asked in suspicion.

This was probably really confusing for the boy. Besides the fact that I looked like, well, me; which really would throw anyone for a loop when they were expecting snake pedo. Suigetsu had gone into that chamber months ago, when everything out here looked very Resident Evil. Now the halls looked clean, there were splashes of vibrant colors here and there, and I got better light sources. It was still torches though, since I couldn't afford to run that kind of electricity yet.

Orochimaru apparently didn't have time for things like "establishing an economy".

"I told you, Suigetsu-kun. To make a friend."

The boy made retching sound in the back of his throat and began to pout as he walked beside me.

"Ara ara. You stick that lip out much farther you'll trip on it." The embodiment of water looked like he had no idea how to respond to that. "Besides, we've arrived."

The door before us was made of iron. It also had metal gate with its own lock. The gate was open. It seemed Kimimaro was already visiting. Suigetsu stared in apprehension as I opened a door capable of stopping a rhino in full charge.

"Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro was on one knee bowing to me in seconds. I stopped myself from sighing in frustration. The leader of my "body guards" would only take it as a sign he should supplicate even more.

The other occupant of the room, a copper-haired teenager that had clearly been eating his Wheaties, stood looking between Kimimaro and myself before slowly starting to lower himself into a bow as well.

I quickly interrupted his attempt. "Jugo-kun. This is Suigetsu."

The name Jugo is familiar to Suigetsu apparently, as the boy began to sweat marble sized water droplets. I put a comforting hand on Suigetsu's shoulder.

It does not seem to help.

"Kimimaro. Would you please be present for this? I want the two of them to get to know each other. Too few of our shinobi share in the bond of friendship. So I want to help our younger members bond."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro said without hesitation, then seemed to pause as he processed what it was I had just said.

I gently guided Suigetsu into the room with the hand that still rested on his shoulder and he only fought against the push a little. "And to help you the bonding I brought a little something to help you."

All eyes in the room locked onto me and all of their stances tensed. Even Kimimaro.

Orochimaru, you absolute fucking psychopath.

I withdrew a simple rubber ball that fit easily in the palm of hand. I had gotten them to be used for reflex exercise in replacement of the very sharp kunai that we had been using. And if there was one thing I did know, if you leave boys alone with a ball they will play with it. It's just what people do.

I threw the ball to Suigetsu and gave my best charming smile. "I'll come back later to pick you back up and to take Kimi-kun for some tests. Play nice boys!"

I shut the door before any of them could respond.

The rubber balls were a good idea. I was glad that I had put them in the supply requests. That line of thinking then had me wonder how much the rubber balls had cost. Which in turn had me realize that Oto had next to no income. Which then had me come to the realization that I had probably caused my ninja to go rob a toy store.

I took a moment to run a hand down my face. Oto was not meant to run in a long term and was meant to completely collapse if Orochimaru had left for a significant period of time. It was a tool meant to be used and discarded. And I had decided to turn the mess into an actual functioning hidden village. I needed more soldiers, administrators, and connections to do that, but I couldn't because all the dumb-asses and psychopaths would start killing each other and random bystanders the moment I turned my back!

I then resolved to do something I hadn't wanted to do. It's usually not a great idea to invite a spy into handling the logistics of running your empire, but I was running out of options. I headed to my office and promptly sent off a recall order for Kabuto.

The medic had not yet become fully loyal to me yet, but I didn't feel like turning him away from Danzo would be a particularly hard sell. Danzo was far more stick than carrot after all.

In the meantime, I had decided that I had dealt with enough stupid for the day and resolved to go to a nearby town for shopping. The purple bow looked decent on me, but everyone else I'd seen wearing it had it look just awful.

The very fact Orochimaru approved the Sound Four's uniform really says a lot about him.
-

Suigetsu held the ball at arms length. Slowly turning it to see if it had some sort of seal, poison, or...something on it. The thing had to be boobytraped somehow. There is no way Orochimaru gave them a rubber ball just to play.

"That was Orochimaru?" Jugo asked.

"Yes. That was Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro intoned.

"Ain't so sure the 'maru' part of that fits anymore." Suigetsu said as he tested the ball with a squeeze to see if it released some noxious gas or exploded. Nothing happened with the ball, but he did get a good dose of killing intent from Kimimaro.

"You will show respect." Kimimaro stated. Suigetsu wondered how someone could have have so little emotion in their voice, and yet sound so threatening.

"I just meant maru is the ending to a guys name. And Orochimaru is clearly not trying to sound like a guy right now. She's going 'Ara ara'!" Suigetsu defended.

The stupid dots on Kimimaro's forehead drew closer together as he seemed to struggle with Suigetsu's words. The white haired prick was apparently troubled by Orochi-whatever's sudden midlife crisis.

"That was a guy? He was so pretty though." Jugo asked.

"Of sorts." Kimimaro said, "Orochimaru-sama is able to move from one person's body to the next. His most recent host is a woman."

Suigetsu highly doubted that was it. That wouldn't explain the sudden use of 'ara ara', which was something only middle aged women say. Plus he figured the snake sannin knew at least five different ways to still look and sound like a guy. This was clearly a choice.

"Then isn't Orochimaru just getting used to her body and is coming to accept herself? I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Jugo said while looking at the rubber ball in longing.

Kimimaro put one hand to his chin and muttered, "That could be it."

After a few more moments of Jugo staring at the rubber ball Suigetsu finally bounced it over towards the room's normal resident. He bounced the ball off the ground a few times, marveling at the simple act.

"That sounds like a decent explanation to me. From now on I'll just call her Boss Lady and if she doesn't like it she can kill me herself."

Kimimaro nodded his head, "Yes, that way you will be useful to me at least in death. Very well."

Suigetsu felt his eye twitch at the casual talk of his death serving a purpose.

"Hey. Jugo. Can I see that again real fast?" Suigetsu asked.

"Sure!" Jugo took way too much joy having the ball bounce back to Suigetsu.

The former Mist Nin then took the ball, wound up, and threw it as hard as he could at Kimimaro's head.

The head of Orochimaru's personal guard plucked the ball out of the air before it could connect with anything. He stared at the ball in contemplation for a moment, before glancing at Jugo.

"Orochimaru-sama did tell us to 'play'." He muttered before the rubber ball made Suigetsu's left shoulder explode in a spray of water.

Suigetsu glanced down at his shoulder in surprise. He hadn't expected a rubber ball to do THAT much damage to him.

"So that's why she wanted to make us be friends." Jugo exclaimed.

Suigetsu ignored him to take the opportunity to snatch the ball from his shoulder and tried to get it to ricochet off the wall behind Kimimaro to peg the smug bastard in the ass.

Kimimaro simply did a half-turn and let the ball bounce past him and towards Jugo. The giant oaf just happily grabbed it and threw it towards Suigetsu. Who had his pinky finger splatter apart when he reached for it.

"That's it, you're both dead. I'm gonna kill you both with this damn ball." Suigetsu growled and snatched the ball up again.
-

The time at the local town was lovely, and just what I needed. I had used a snake skin technique to let me not look quite so...Orochimaru during my trip. I bought some clothes. I treated myself to a little something sweet. I flirted with a stall owner. Really just enjoyed some me time. It was the best two and half hours I've had since I came to this world.

It wasn't worth it.

Behind me a bucket line was frantically trying to put out a pulsing green fire that was eating at a wall and yet also was somehow not producing any smoke. Several dead pigs also lay around me burning with a green smokeless fire that none the less was slowly burning the pigs to a charred husk.

The two glanced over at each other, came to a conclusion together, and immediately came to a decision.

"She stole my subjects."/"He was trying to take my research notes!"

They immediately tried to throw each other under the bus.
It had only been after I arrived that someone decided to kill the on fire pigs instead of letting them running around setting more things on fire.

The two major people responsible sat seiza before me with their heads bowed.

"So, would please tell me how exactly this happened. Rumiko-chan, Botan-kun." Their frightened faces attempted to to hide behind their bangs, "Did you at least discover something from all this?" I asked and didn't even keep a cool façade up anymore, massaging my temples.

"Um..." They said looking to each other with wide frantic eyes, both certain if they answered no to this I would probably kill them.

Which I didn't want to do, but killing people that fuck up on this scale is largely how Orochimaru keeps people from getting out of line. I would have no choice but to kill them. While both were not nice people, as will most all of Sound's sociopaths, I didn't want to kill someone over this stupid shit.

"Can you at least duplicate the smokeless fire?" I said, trying to salvage it. A smokeless fire could be very useful to shinobi trying to hide.

"Yes! Definitely."/"We can totally do that! I promise!"

"Then you can try to produce it, without live subjects, and show me results within the month." I said as I turned to leave the two to collapse in relief.

I then promptly went to my room, unsealed my shopping bags, and edited my urgent recall order for Kabuto to be the highest possible urgency.

"I swear, it's like Aperture Science as run by Three Stooges."

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Text

"We need more support this weekend in the morgue."

Kabuto looked up at the man and pretended to give a sigh of frustration. "I have to study, but I could possibly come in the morning." Kabuto gave the countersign.

The messenger nodded and handed him what looked like medical reports bound up in twine.

"It would be best if you came earlier."

Kabuto kept surprise from his face. Whatever message Orochimaru had hidden in the documents was flagged as the highest possible emergency.

"I'll try my best." He promised.

His fellow spy nodded and quickly made himself scarce. Kabuto waited another half hour before excusing himself from work to decode the message hidden the medical documents.

Kabuto spent the next twenty minutes flipping through the pages and slowly applying his memorized cipher decoding the message. It was a recall order from Orochimaru directly. Telling him that he needed to report back immediately to assist the Snake Sannin. It really didn't go into much beyond that his assistance was required. Kabuto was fairly confident it was just to provide medical expertise on a sensitive project.

It wasn't anything he hadn't done before. He should send a copy of the message to Danzo and gain permission to go, but the last line of the message was making him hesitant.
He had triple checked that he was interpreting the code correctly. Kabuto found himself wondering if maybe he had been compromised.

After all, there was no way that Orochimaru would send a message stating "I can't leave for two hours to buy a bra without these morons doing something stupid."

He finally had to admit defeat and came to the conclusion that one of Orochimaru's people had accidentally put a personal note in with the message. Mistakes did occasionally happen at what was basically the secretary level of the ninja spy game. So, he sent the contents of the message, minus the last sentence, off for his Root contact to report to Danzo. He technically should wait around to receive permission from Danzo to leave, but he could probably get away without doing so since his summons was flagged at such a high priority.

Kabuto made his excuses at the hospital, grabbed one of his pre-set travel packs, and was leaving the pit of hypocrisy that was Konoha in a shorter amount of time than it took him to decode the first message.
-

His journey had him arriving at Oto's major hideout late in the evening. The time when most people will have finished their last meal of the day and would soon find themselves settling into their beds. Which was really Kabuto's least favorite time of the day. It was too late for most people to want to do business and too early to kill someone while they slept.

Kabuto started to head for Orochimaru's private office when he ran into Hibiki Nagisa, whose expression was that of a pinched lemon.

"Oh. You're back." Hibiki said.

Kabuto put on his plastic smile. "Yes. Orochimaru-sama had summoned me. He asked for me to report as soon as possible."

Hibiki's face soured further. "Why?"

The scientist was beginning to really try Kabuto's patience, but he made sure to keep the friendly smile on his face. Hibiki was simply worried that Kabuto would going to replace him, part of the older man knew that the only reason he was around was because of how long he'd worked on the body changing technique and knew enough to assist the Snake Sannin. So it was only a matter of time before someone else learned enough to bump him out of his spot as second in command.

Which was frightening, because one did not typically leave Orochimaru's employ with a retirement plan and health benefits.

"I'm not sure. I don't make a habit of questioning Orochimaru-sama's decisions." Kabuto replied.

"Ah. Yes, see that you don't." Hibiki said before turning away, "I will take you to him then."

Then, to Kabuto's surprise, Nagisa did not head towards Orochimaru's private labs, but instead walked towards what Kabuto knew to be where they kept their "laboratory volunteers" locked up. Orochimaru very rarely ever went there, preferring to send someone else to fetch a test subject if he needed one. Though quite a few things were beginning to show him that the layout of Otogakure was likely very different compared to the last time he had been there.

Painted walls. Bright colors. More lighting. There was even the occasional potted plant and a few strategically placed benches.

Kabuto couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It made no sense for Orochimaru waste resources on such frivolous things. From what he knew of Orochimaru the man probably wouldn't even think to add benches in the first place.

"Nagisa-sempai. There have been lots of changes since I was last here. What's going on?"

The older man gave a scoff. "Orochimaru-sama has ordered we make changes to our goals to focus on more long term benefits rather than short term ones. Increasing the strength of our soldiers through better training and having them stay mentally refreshed to best function as ninja. Orochimaru-sama stated his research has showed these...decorative changes help with that." He said as if chastising Kabuto for not already knowing what the Snake Sannin had said.

Kabuto, personally, just found he couldn't wait until he managed to take Hibiki's job. The man was insufferable. But if what the man had said was true, then Kabuto had much more to worry about. Danzo had never worried about Otogakure since the place was obviously designed to fail at a moments notice. To not seem threatening to the other village's power. If it was shifting focus to allow for a proper hidden village there would be blood spilled. And it would be soon.

Considering how Otogakure was run, there was no way that this could last long without sweeping changes in administration. Kabuto suddenly had a very bad feeling he knew exactly why it was that he was being recalled.

"It's open. Good. Orochimaru-sama is still here." Nagisa said as the closed in on what he knew to be the cell block where they kept all of the test subjects below the age of ten. Before him sat a heavy iron door completely coated in seals. The door had not been there before and, more surprisingly, was clearly designed not for keeping people in, but rather keeping others out.

Far more of a shock, was what he saw when he stepped into the room. Color. Bright primary colors painted all over the room. Colorful cartooned animals were all over the walls playing in fields of flowers and cheery sunlight. There was one spot on the wall painted a dark black, but children's chalk drawling covered it's surface.

Where there had been cells before there were now small rooms with curtains to protect privacy and a bunk bed equipped with a small dresser sat in each room too. None of that compared to what he observed next though.

"The acorn rolled down and down~"

All the children were gathered together on the pelt of a massive tiger. In the middle of them, on a rocking chair of all things, sat a woman that looked disturbingly like Orochimaru. The woman had a smiling child in her lap that was rapidly loosing it's fight against sleep.

And this Orochimaru impostor was singing.

"He suddenly fell into a pond~"

Singly beautifully and with a great amount of femininity.

Kabuto looked over at Nagisa, hoping that there might be some other explanation for what exactly was going on here, especially since, going by the fact that Nagisa had told him he was taking him to Orochimaru, he was clearly indicating that this...person was supposed to be the same one he had done a vivisection with the last time he was here.

Nagisa was also staring with varying amounts of confusion, worry, and contemplation at the singing woman. Kabuto himself had trouble tearing his gaze of bizarre fascination on the woman wearing a purple turtleneck sweater. He however managed to do so when he spotted something else that made him do a double take.

Guren, a ninja capable of using crystal release and one of Orochimaru's strongest jonin, was also in the room and currently placing an infant into a newly formed crib made of crystal. The pale woman with purple hair soon marched to them and hissed over to them.

"Why are you here. Orochimaru-sama does not wish to be disturbed."

Kabuto's mind noted that the woman was taking pains to not be loud and interrupt...Oroshimaru's nursery song. He also observed that none of the children seemed to find the use of her crystal release particularly noteworthy. Meaning that Guren, the same Guren that he knew always smiled at the possibility of bloodshed, was coming into this room on a regular basis and being assigned to watch children.

"Orochimaru-sama asked for me to report immediately. It was marked with highest possible urgency." Kabuto said with his standard issue smile.

Guren turned her angry gaze to Nagisa. "You were told to not come in here anymore."

"Ah. Well. Kabuto said it was urgent so..." The older man trailed off.

"Leave." Guren ordered Nagisa. Though to Kabuto she ordered, "Go stand over there, and if I see you so much as approach one of the children I will turn you into a statue."

Kabuto adjusted his glasses, "Oh! What has you so protective? Gaining a soft spot are we?"

Guren scoffed, "No. Orochimaru-sama has charged me with the protection of these children. None may lay a hand on them without permission."

Orochimaru had assigned Guren, one of Otogakure's strongest ninja, to constantly guard these children? That was a complete waste of resources. In any other village he'd say it was due to some ideal about the innocence of children, but this was Orochimaru. There must be some specific threat he was trying to combat. One of the children must be important. Or maybe it's just busy work for Guren.

"Ara ara. Look at all those sleepy nodding heads. It seems we have arrived at bedtime." Orochimaru said, and in response the children groaned in complaint. They actually groan at Orochimaru stopping her singing. While it did actually sound fairly good it was still the Snake Sannin! The single most feared ninja of Konoha in the last two decades for his cruelty and pragmatism.

These children where gripping her leg and-

"Can we stay up Orochitama?"/ "Can't you read that story from last time again?"/ "Next time I get to sit in your lap, right?"

Then it all clicked.

Nagisa had said that Orochimaru was switching to long term goals. The entire building was now made to make people to feel more at ease. More at home. Previously ninja were made to just be discarded and only by being useful could they be allowed to survive. This was how many ninja villages operated. It was shown to be how you make the most people loyal for their entire lives. But this was more like Kumo and Konoha's methods. Making people think they were valued and invest that ideal into a home. While it produced less middle tier ninja this way it consistently produced the most jonin level ninja.

With Orochimaru changing bodies too it was the perfect time for it. People put so much stock in appearances that with just a slightly different way of talking and looking just bit different people will subconsciously wave away previous actions.

The obviously exaggerated matronly features were even more devious. The number of people that would die for their country was extensive, but the people that would die for family, for their mother? That was a far more impressive list.

Orochimaru had spent years grinding down the wills of the people. Making them lose hope. Lose meaning. Lose themselves. And now they were going to be giving it back, and the only person they will have to thank will be Orochimaru.

It was brilliant. Inspired even. He wondered if Orochimaru had timed this specifically so he could see these children's naked devotion. So few people would understand what happened. Why it happened. Guren herself probably had no idea and thought that Orochimaru was truly doing this out of a sudden value for children, getting one of her strongest ninja to swallow this change of practice, while at the same time using her as an enforcer to make anyone very afraid of saying anything against Orochimaru's new standards.

It was probably why he had been called back too. A new face in the administration to go with the new rules.

Orochimaru...or rather Orochitama really had thought of everything.

Orochitama was already committing to this new persona even in secured communication. Having themselves come off as just an overly busy innocent woman. The change would be so sudden most other villages wouldn't know what to do and assume false data or just wait to watch what happens, because ninja hate jumping into something when they have no idea what they are jumping into. It would buy her a few months, maybe a year, to build up the village to be something just troublesome enough to not be worth crushing.

It was a gamble, but one that might just work.

"Ara ara. You finally arrived Kabuto-kun. I've been so excited for you to come back. Come with me to my office and we'll discuss what I need from you." Orochitama said.

"Yes, Orochitama-sama." Kabuto said with a knowing tone, the Snake Sannin paused just for a moment, so slowly he almost doubted his judgment on the hesitance, before they turned to address Guren.

That hesitation was telling. He couldn't be certain on what it was for, but he had clearly caught them by surprise when he used Orochitama. But since no correction came, that was basically permission for him to use that name going forward.

"Do you need anything else for tonight Guren-chan?"

"No Orochimaru-sama. Though..." Guren hesitated, with a meaningful glance at Kabuto before admitting, "We could use more of the diapers. We use them almost faster than we can clean them."

Kabuto noted the Crystal Ninja's embarrassment about dealing with such matters as a future pressure point.

"I'll see it's done Guren-chan."

Kabuto just shook his head. What a masterful performance.
-

I finally had Kabuto and I was once again having mixed feelings on the matter. The med-nin had dropped a few hints at something and I really wasn't sure what it was. It had started when he first called me Orochitama and I hesitated on deciding if I wanted him to actually call me that or not. Anything he called me would spread to others calling me that too. It should be fine. It initially started when a toddler had mangled saying Orochimaru-sama and the others just kind of went with it. However, thanks to Orochimaru's training and memories, I'm pretty sure that Kabuto thinks I have some secret plan with all of this that I don't really have.

I mean, outside establishing this place as a proper hidden village. He figured that out on his own and I had confirmed it, but he kept acting like there was a deeper secret and seemed just amused when I said there wasn't one.

Whatever it is that Kabuto thinks he understands though is working really well for me. When I had brought him to my office and told him what it was that I was wanting him to do he seemed to immediately grasp the concept.

"You want me to limit any sort of injury or death of anyone in the facility, and you want me to enforce your new rules with as gentle of a hand as possible, while only killing someone when they directly choose to disobey one of your new rules with a stated intention to do so again."

"Yes, Kabuto-kun. That's exactly what I want."

"I understand Orochitama-sama."

I had regularly been told that in the weeks leading up to that moment and I it was regularly proven to me that the other person did NOT understand.

"Just to make sure Kabuto-kun. I'm going to ask some questions." I said, "If someone asks you if it's okay for human testing of an assassination technique, how do you respond?"

"For them to test it on an animal subject until polished enough to use in the field. Then to only use it in the field and not an fellow subjects of Otogakure."

I gave a nod of agreement. "If someone is found stealing from the kitchens, what is the appropriate response?"

"Speak to them in private and inform them that their actions would greatly displease you, Orochitama-sama, and that if they do not correct their behavior they will suffer your disappointment."

I had been pretty sure he meant that with far more menace than I would want him to have, but that was loads better than the last time I had asked the question and had been told that they would have the offender dragged away to be force fed live burrowing beetles.

"That would be fine. I'd add that since they are wanting more food we can offer them more missions that would increase their personal ration supply."

Kabuto gave a nod. "Ah. Yes. Addressing his concerns."

On the questions went, with Kabuto showing he at least mostly understood what it was I wanted and only took a slight bit of correcting on some of his questions. He was even able to answer questions on why I wanted things done.

"And why don't I want us to do testing on a human subject until we know it's absolutely safe?"

"We want good science with lots of data points to be able to understand best what we are doing, instead of just throwing away a resource. A resource that is a valued and loved part of Orochitama-sama's village."

My eyes narrowed because while the words were correct there was absolutely a feeling behind them that wasn't what I was looking for.

However, beggars can't be choosers, and of all the candidates I've had thus far he was the only one that could at least answer the questions right, even if it wasn't in quite the way that I want. But I couldn't exactly inject human kindness into someone as of yet, so it would have to do for the moment.

"When you aren't managing the other workers I want you focusing on two projects. Both of which I will be assisting with. The first is trying to help Kimimaro's condition. I've removed him from active missions for the moment so we can best make sure he is taken care of."

Kabuto nodded, "Yes. He is far too great of a resource for us to lose."

I gave a nod. He wasn't wrong. When completely healthy Kimimaro could challenge Hatake Kakashi in a straight fight, at least with his cursed seal form. Losing him would be a great blow to our village.

"The other thing is a technique I have that I want to put the finishing touches on. It will be purely theoretical polishing for the moment."

Brief but genuine excitement crossed Kabuto's face. Orochimaru had managed to sway Kabuto to his side because he understood one thing about the spy. He loved to study. He loved to learn. Putting the finest polish on the theory behind something was practically a reward for Kabuto. In his life of no attachments Kabuto had one thing to ground himself. His curiosity. The one thing Danzo allowed him to have.

"What technique will we be working on?" Kabuto asked, mask of politeness in place.

I hesitated. It was a technique I hated. The very concept behind it was almost insulting to my morality, but it's utility was too great for me to ignore. Which also kind of scared me too.

"You will help me study the Edo Tensei."

Kabuto gave me an eager smile, that probably wasn't completely fake. Which was probably a good thing. I needed his enthusiasm. I needed to do what I could to have him on my side. Because I had to leave soon. I had certain things I didn't trust to my subordinates. Plus, while I was quite strong, I needed to be stronger for the coming days. One month. I would stick around for one more month to make sure that Kabuto was capable of having things run without me present, then I would need to leave for several weeks.

Soon it was time for me to actually go out into the world. God help them.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Tayuya didn't really see what the big deal was.

"But how can we still be sure it's still Orochimaru-sama? He-" Kidomaru hesitated, "She is acting completely different. Minimizing casualties. Most research is now about things like medicines and jutsu that anyone can use. It's completely different from what was being done before."

"Right. And someone that just so happens to know all of Orochimaru's pass codes, techniques, and also just so happens to have a snake contract and the Kusanagi. Get real dumb-ass. It's the same person." Sakon mocked.

The collective morons that made up the Sound Four had regularly taken to bickering about the boss's decision to act like some air-headed bimbo. It was really fucking weird, to be sure, but this constant arguing on whether they still serve the same master was just so fucking pointless.

"Sweet Tits of Izanami, shut up!" She growled. The rest of Orochimaru's personal guards turned to her. Well most of them. None of them were dumb enough to have this conversation around Kimimaro. "If she is or isn't the original doesn't fucking matter! She can still take us apart like tissue paper. Her strength is real and that's all that counts in this fucked up world."

The ninja all shuffled in place. They had seen the strength for themselves. They knew she was right.

"Women shouldn't talk like that." Jirobo said, "But the new Orochimaru is also training us personally. We'll all be much stronger if things keep going this way. I like this better."

"The fact we get way more pork is the real reason you're happy, fatass." Tayuya said with a roll of her eyes. Couldn't have the tub of lard thinking that just because he agreed with her they were somehow friends or something.

The stupid bickering cut out though. All of them knew for sure that Boss Lady still had real power. The power to rival the strongest ninja in the world. At the end of the day, nothing else really mattered. You follow the strong or you die. There was nothing else to it.

"Come on. We have two hour to finish this training before we gotta see Chief Snakeyness. Lets get this over with." Tayuya said before turning back to the room full of moving targets and timed objectives.

Orochimaru was making changes, and they needed to keep strong or they would find themselves one of the one those "dismissed" from employment.
-

Things were beginning to get under control. It had been two weeks and there hadn't been a single unintended death. I could go out and help train some ninja for hours at a time without having things literally catch fire. I was somehow receiving even larger amounts of request for human testing though. But I was feeling better about things being somewhat stabilized.

Taking Kabuto had been very helpful. I just hoped he wasn't reporting everything happening to Danzo or Sasori. I mean, he almost certainly had to tell them something, but I didn't need all my dirty little secrets reported.

But after a month of having him assist in managing the din of psychos and idiots I felt confident enough to leave the spy in charge of running things for a week. I needed to get some things done and the clock was ticking down on me being able to make great strides in fixing my problems with man power, money, and supply lines all in one fell swoop.

I even had the perfect thing to make sure that Kabuto didn't try and stab me in the back while I was gone. Someone who, in his own words, was the arch nemesis of Kabuto.

"As a reminder, Nagisa-kun, don't confront Kabuto with any suspicions you have. If you see something just report it to Guren or Kimimaro. They will know how I want them to respond. You won't be able to take Kabuto in a fight anyways."

I realized that Nagisa was a little unfit for the job. However I needed someone who actually understood all of the laboratory stuff to keep an eye on what was going on. Hopefully Guren and Kimimaro could manage to keep his rampant paranoia about Kabuto in check.

I had already told the two to prepare themselves for a stream of baseless accusations.

"I will make sure to watch the traitor closely Orochimaru-sama. I won't let him get in the way of our machinations." He said as he went into a bow.

I briefly questioned my wisdom on giving authority to a man that used the word machinations without a hint of irony, but again told myself that I didn't really have a whole lot of options. Not if I wanted to leave this place for any significant amount of time.

Which really just meant I had to prioritize making sure Kabuto was completely loyal to me. Which was tricky because he'd made a life of making people believe he was completely loyal.

"How is the study on a cure for Kimimaro going?" I asked, trying to change subjects before this could get into a rant on how I shouldn't trust the two face back stabber that just wants to take Nagisa's position from him. The man was probably right on all those fronts, but I had other things I needed to take care of.

"I have gone over Kabuto's results and have to concur. It does seem as though Kimimaro's sickness comes from a problem with his bone marrow." Nagisa said with bitterness.

I had been afraid of that. Bone marrow was very hard to do anything with. Most medicine was already very filtered by the liver and kidneys and the bodies other various filtration systems before the medicine ever got close to penetrating into the bones. Chakra also tended to have trouble interacting through the bones to reach the marrow as well.

"Keep the research up. When I return I will assist in making this my highest priority." I said as dismissal.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Nagisa said before bowing out of the room. As the door clicked behind him I felt a great weight fall off my shoulders. Interacting with any of the people that literally worshiped me was always so exhausting, but Nagisa was the worst of them.

It was incredibly relieving that I was going to be able to leave later that day. I stood up with a stretch before idly smoothing out my grey and purple sundress. I would have liked to have a larger of variety of colors in my wardrobe but it's apparently really hard to match outfits with the literally white skin and permanent purple lines under my eyes. I had options, but I found myself slightly more limited.

Also the sundresses seemed to really distress my minions. More so even than the turtleneck. So I took to only occasionally wearing the more feminine outfits.

They had no reaction to the purple lipstick for some reason though.

I had spent the weeks before deciding where exactly I needed to go and what exactly it was that I needed to do. I had so many plans. Even outside of gaining strength for my village I needed to get stronger myself too. I needed to be able to go toe to toe with the likes of Nagato.

After I got a report from Konoha though, I saw an opportunity unfold that made me realize I couldn't afford to wait.

A knock came at the door. "Orochimaru-sama. You called for us." Sakon asked through the door.

"Enter." I ordered.

The Sound Four were an odd bunch. They had mostly been chosen for their amount of chakra. Orochimaru needed them to be able to maintain his barriers for long periods of time. They were way too weak for them to really be body guards. They were still low rank jonin and there was a vast sea between that and any of the Sannin.

That said, the group seemed to hesitate on seeing me in a sundress. Aside from Kimimaro and Tayuya though. Kimimaro apparently accepted me as Orochitama now, or at least noticed that I wasn't killing people for treating me like a woman. Tayuya though seems to not give a single shit about who I am or what I wear. She's managed to take everything I have been throwing out with naught but a raised eyebrow.

"Ara ara. So prompt." I said as the five bowed (six if you counted Ukon), "Kimimaro-kun. I had told you that you didn't need to come to these meetings anymore. You're meant to be resting."

"My apologies. I know you intend to leave today and wanted to ensure that your personal guard were prepared for the dangers ahead." Kimimaro replied with eyes to the ground.

I promptly crossed the room to him, and gently pulled him up by his elbow. "That's no good. You have testing tomorrow. You need to be well rested because the marrow withdraw is going to be exhausting." I ordered as I spun him around and had him stand just on the outside of my door.

"But-"

"But nothing. Go rest or I'll assign Suigetsu to tattle on you."

A grimace crossed the bone user's face, which for him was paramount to outright angst.

I shut the door in his face.

"Now, lets get down to business." I said as I clapped my hands together.

"Make sure that you all pack enough clothes, food, and toiletries for the next two weeks. Kidomaru and Tayuya, bring as many sealing scrolls as you can without feeling like you are overloading yourselves. You two will be coming with me for this mission and will be fulfilling a mostly stealth and information gathering role."

"Sakon, you and Jirobo, are going to dispatch from us along the way and start heading up the coast. You are going to be capturing an as of yet unnamed target. I will be contacting you by summon as soon as I find out who it is."

"Are there any questions?" I asked as I walked back to sit on the edge of my desk.

"Yes." Ukon asked, "What's our goal? What's the major point of the operation?"

"To liberate a country from an oppressive dictator, recruit a shirtless demon, and to steal an empire." I chirped in reply.

The four exchanged wary looks.

"Right? Sounds like fun!" From my perch atop the desk I started to swing my feet back to let out a dull thud every few seconds as my sandals impacted the front face of the desk. "Oh, there will probably also be a bit where I try and un-mess the heads of a few kids in the hopes they don't one day cause the end of the world. But you guys won't really be involved with that."

Kidomaru clearly restrained himself from asking what the hell that meant.

"For this mission avoid killing anyone as well. Most of the targets that actually pose a threat to any of us are ones I don't want killed." I ordered. "Though I have a really important question for you all as well."

The four once again exchanged a nervous glance.

"Between here and Wave, what's the best restaurant for us to stop at? It's been a decade since I've eaten anything in that area."

Jirobo looked absolutely ecstatic.
-

Travel by ninja running was fast. Not due alone to raw speed, but the simple fact that a well trained ninja can ignore almost any obstacle in their path that isn't another ninja. Even with stopping for an hour to eat at a homey diner that served an amazing chicken ginger soup, the trip of several hundred miles took us less than four hours.

When we reached the waters separating us from the isle of Wave Jirobo and Sakon separated from us to pursue their own objective. They would go to Gato's other major shipping operation further up the coast and await further orders.

As we ran through the fog I finally caught sight of what I had been looking for.

A massive half complete bridge hung over the water. Visible even before I had managed to lay eyes on land.

"Damn. That things fucking huge." Tayuya muttered.

"And well built." Kidomaru added, "Whoever is building this wants it to stand event against a hundred exploding tags."

"Or just one angry midget and his hoard of idiots." I added.

I had always wondered why Gato hadn't just destroyed the bridge but seeing the interwove beams of iron for myself quickly gave me the answer. The bridge was so reinforced with supports that the whole thing would be almost as expensive to take apart as it was to build the damn thing.

A few seconds later we arrived on shore.

"Go." I ordered my two remaining guards, "Rendezvous on the bridge at 2200. Stay out of sight. Information gathering only. No big risks yet."

"Yes ma'am." The two sounded before heading off. I knew they weren't completely sold on my plan. They were likely wondering why we didn't just go in and forcibly take everything. The three of us together certainly had the power for it.

"Well, they'll learn." I ran off to start my hearts and minds campaign.
-

Tsunami was always a bit resentful of her name. Their small island nation had experienced the disaster of the same name more than once. It was why almost no one built anything on the side of the island facing the ocean. Your home only stood a chance if it was halfway across the island from wherever the giant wave came from.

She had often asked her dad why he would name her after something that caused so much destruction. He always had the same answer.

"When I was young I saw a tsunami myself. It's power took my breath away. It made me realize the power of nature. The tsunami itself wasn't evil. It was just was. And the world quaked around it. I knew that any daughter I had I would want to have that strength too."

She was of the belief that he just thought it sounded cool.

Her father had always talked a big game, and he had always managed to make things sound much more appealing than they actually were. Which was probably an even greater strength than his ability to build his bridge. The bridge gave people hope that things could change, which was really more important than the bridge itself.

Bridges could have guards and tolls on it. The bridge wouldn't solve anything. It would just make it easier for the people to take their freedom back but at the end of the day they'd still have to fight for it.

Which is why when her father finally arrived with ninja to help protect him, in the hopes that it would spur people into being ready to fight, she kept herself from showing her disappointment. They got a cripple and three children. It was no reason to be rude to them. It wasn't their fault. They had risked their lives to keep her father safe, she just couldn't see these three little children being able to inspire the town to rise up like it would need to.

They had already saved her father's life and they were his best shot on completing the bridge though, so they weren't out of the game yet. If there was one thing she had learned over the years in a fishing village it was to not give up hope, because a sudden change of winds or a single cast of your net could bring you all your fortunes.

So she made the best of the situation. The ninja had arrived and she needed to make sure they were fed for their time here. They brought some food stuff with them, thankfully, so she could just add that touch of home made with just some herbs and spices, which could still be found in town.

It was hard to make an entire meal of peppercorn after all.

So, she had gone to town to look for some roots or herbs to help her father's protectors. However she began to notice some things amiss. The streets were almost barren, and what few people she did see wore a smile as they clutched a package close to their chest.

Smiles were a rare sight in this country.

Intrigued, she continued her journey into the heart of the town as she heard a crowd in the distance. She could also hear the reason so many people were happy.

"Food! Someone is handing out food!"

"Quick! Come to the market before it's gone! Someone is handing out food!"

The entire town seemed to be crammed into the market. Cries of thanks, need, and joy filled the air as the crowed slowly thinned one person at a time. Each person clutching a small parcel to their chest.

Tsunami could hardly believe it. Someone was handing out food? No one that had the ability to help ever seemed to care about them before hand. She wanted to believe it was true, that there were still good people in power in the world, but she suddenly found fear grip her heart as she realized who it might be handing things out.

Gato and his men were the only ones with power. The irrational thought that they were handing out poisoned food to kill them all grasped her limbs and had her push rudely through the crowd. She shoved or pulled all obstacles out her way until she burst into the gap in the middle of the mob.

The eye of the people storm held a small line of villagers that dissolved into the chaos of the crowd. However that line led to someone unlike she had ever seen before. It was a woman with skin as pale as moonlight and the golden eyes of a beast.

"Ara ara. No pushing. You have to wait in the line to get your food." The woman chastised her.

"Oh. Sorry." Tsunami muttered.

The woman in the grey and purple sundress certainly didn't look like one of Gato's men. She smiled kindly and spoke softly. She also didn't have guards with half drawn swords. All she had was herself and a large wooden crate that she was handing out to people one by one.

A child came to the the front of the line. It was Nariyuki's kid. The little girl probably couldn't remember the last time she had a full belly.

"Ah. A noble lady has come to have some of my humble food!" The pale woman said, making the young girl blush and shyly look to the ground. "Do you have someone to help you cook it?"

"Yes. Grandma can cook." The child said.

"Enjoy!" The stranger said as she handed over the brown paper package.

Tsunami didn't know the stranger, but the woman was confident, and spoke with so much authority that the throngs of desperate people listened to her as she mandated an orderly line in her circle. Gato would never let someone like that live anywhere he controlled. She effortlessly did what he required legions of goons to do.

"Excuse me." Tsunami said as she approached. "Can I help you somehow?"

"That would be great." The woman said. "It's just packages of rice and some pig's fat, so it's not heavy, but a second set of hands would speed this up."

Tsunami hadn't done what she was expecting to do with her time in town, but she certainly wasn't going to miss out on being part of something that was making the people of Wave smile once again.
-

I immediately thought that Tsunami was an absolute peach of a woman. The whole town seemed to know her and respect her. She made no comments about getting an extra portion of the food for helping out, she didn't seem to want anything from me at all. Tsunami just wanted to help people desperately in need and helped me hand out food until night fall.

"Thank you for the help, Tsunami-chan. You helped that go by much faster."

"Oh no, I'm much too old for the chan." Tsunami gave a dismissive wave, "And if some of us can't assist when help comes for us, then Wave really wouldn't deserve to be saved."

"Ara ara. You are plenty young and cute enough for everyone to call you chan." I said with a wink.

Tsunami just looked confused by my response. I was barking up the wrong tree apparently.

"Do you have somewhere to stay the night miss...actually, I don't think you gave me your name?" Tsunami asked pleasantly.

"You're right. I didn't!" I responded, "And I have my accommodations for the night. Thank you for your concern though."

"Alright then." She relented easily, "Though if you need anything I live in the little house to the east, outside town. It's right on the creek. If you need anything you can find me there, or go to the bridge and ask for Tazuna. That's my father."

Oh shit. I forgot what Tazuna's daughter's name was. Plus people look really different in person than they do as 2D drawings. I had no idea that I had spent the last three hours with someone that was actually pretty important to my plans.

It had actually been my goal to try and find the bridge builder's home after handing out food. Granted, just one of many goals for the night, but I had just passed on someone taking me directly there without rousing any sort of suspicion. It appeared I'd have to do this another way then.

"So your father is the one building the bridge! I'll have to swing by in the morning to see if he or his workers need anything."

"That would be great. The promise of food will do a lot to motivate workers. I'll tell my father to expect you in the morning." Tsunami said with cheer.

"Sure." I promised, "I'll swing by your house just after dawn."

"I'll be sure to set a plate for you at the breakfast table then." Tsunami promised.

"Are you sure? I've been known to eat a woman out...of house and home."

Tsunami was clearly wondering why I put an odd pause in the middle of my sentence, the sweet innocent child. I was clearly barking up the wrong FOREST.

"It should be fine. The more the merrier." She replied.

It took all of Orochimaru's training for me to give no reaction to that.

"Sure. I'll bring more food with me." I promised with a shake of my head.

I distinctly did not offer to bring my clam nor did I offer some fish. I just calmly waved goodbye and made my way to the other side of the island. I had to do some reconnaissance on Gato's warehouses and see what exactly it was that he was shipping illegally.

The anime never really expanded on his operations and Orochimaru never considered him important enough to find out.

It was time to see what exactly was hiding in Gato's warehouses. More importantly, it was time for me to see how I could make their contents work for me.

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter Text

By the standards of people that weren't ninjas Gato had an iron clad security. The men were all alert and mindful of their surroundings. They had overlapping lines of sight. They even had regular checkpoints and ID cards. It was very impressive for a civilian outfit. Most chunin probably wouldn't be able to get in without raising alarm.

Though the difference between a chunin and myself was the difference between a puddle and the ocean.

All the preparation and defenses that Gato had made delayed me for about three more seconds than a padlock would have. Taking a peak inside each and every shipping container took quite a bit longer, since I also had to look behind the boxes to see if they were concealing something else.

Gato was a smuggler, and those guys tended to have bolt holes in pretty much every place you can think of, and then a few you didn't.

I had been expecting some of the typical smuggling stuff. Drugs, stolen paintings, and maybe even some human trafficking. Though what I found was kunai and exploding tags. Lots of exploding tags.

I found opium and paintings too. Plus a room with handcuffs bolted to the wall. So my estimation of Gato had't been too far off. Though considering the number of exploding tags Gato had, he certainly had a ninja backer. Outside of Zabuza. I had already suspected he had some connections, since missing nin were not exactly easy to find. But this seemed to imply that there was someone even more directly involved with Gato. Someone invested in his business.

Someone I needed to look out for if I was going to complete my plans.

I couldn't very well leave such a potent weapon just sitting here without me knowing where it was going. The collateral for the island could be huge. One could actually destroy every single home on the island with the amount of exploding tags I'd found.

So I did a quick summoning and a dull brown snake blinked up at me, head tilting to the side as he looked at me.

"Yes. I look and smell a bit different than normal." I confirmed in a low tone,"But I need you to watch this crate for me and come tell me if someone moves it or takes a bunch of stuff out of it. I'll reward you with three mice upon completion of the task."

The snake flicked it's tongue out in thought before nodding it's head.

"Thank you Azuma-kun." I said as I gave his head a few loving pats.

Before the Orochi-merge I had been scared of snakes. Spiders and other creepy crawly things I had always been fairly nervous around as well. However, I now had hundreds of hours of memory of things much worse and far more disgusting, not to mention years of memories of being literally inside snakes.

It inured me to the creep factor of everything that slithers and scuttles. I even found the danger noodles to be somewhat cute, something I hadn't really thought previously.

My summons slithered under the pallet of exploding tags and I made my own swift exit. Leaving no sign of my presence. The remaining warehouses I checked weren't nearly as interesting. Some food, some clothing, a decent amount of swords, and a crap ton of what I recognized to be field rations. At each place I found food I skimmed a little of it off the top, but never took enough for it to be overtly noticeable. Warehouses always had a certain amount of shrink after all.

Soon I left the docks with my spoils and made my way to the bridge. I had underlings waiting to report after all.
-

One thing I don't miss from my old world was light pollution. The passive light from a large city made it where most of the stars in the sky weren't visible, requiring one to travel to distant mountains, open seas, or vacant deserts to see the true majesty of the night sky.

That wasn't a problem most places here though. Unless you were in the capital or a hidden village the night sky was available for everyone to look up in the sky and see just how very small the human race was.

"Hey Boss Lady. We're back." Tayuya's voice came, sounding casual despite her bow of respect.

"Glad to see you both made it back safe and sound." I said as I again turned my gaze up towards the ocean of stars above me; the sound of waves lapping against the bridge below me was incredibly comforting. "Were there any problems?"

"No Orochimaru-sama." Kidomaru said, "Though a ninja wearing a hunter mask of Mist seemed to sense me for a moment, they did not raise any alarms."

Haku had sensed him? That was impressive. Kidomaru was no slouch when it came to stealth.

"I don't think you will have a problem with him for the moment. So long as you didn't linger in watching the injured Demon of the Mist too much. So avoid doing that."

"Yes ma'am." The two chorused.

"Anything of note found?" I asked.

"Yes. He's currently set to send some big shipment to a major client. None of his men are sure who it's for though. When it came up near Gato he would suddenly change the subject to the bridge."

Not surprising. The one crate of exploding tags was worth more than the entire contents of all the other shipping containers. There wasn't a way to mass produce exploding tags, so they were never cheap.

"Did anyone mention where the big package is being shipped to?"

"No. Not even the ship it's meant to go out on." Kidomaru said.

I heave a sigh and pull out my smallest sealing scroll. This particular sealing scroll had been designed to maintain the temperature of it's contents. In moments I had a kettle of hot apple tea with honey mixed in. I handed two of the cups over to my minions.

Kidomaru looked like I just asked him to kill himself, and Tayuya just gulped down her tea without tasting it.

I silently swore I'd one day get one of my people to have tea with me without them thinking it was some sort of plot.

"Ara ara, Kidomaru. It's just tea. It just seemed to be the perfect weather to enjoy warm tea under the stars."

Kidomaru followed Tayuya's example and downed the whole cup, then sat very still, as if waiting for symptoms.

"Kidomaru-kun, please just make us some hammocks under the bridge. The weather is just a bit chilly, but nothing a blanket won't solve. Tomorrow I want the two of you to find out some local legends. Something that comes out of the water and destroys ships. Every coastal town has them. Then I want you to use those legends to not let a single ship get more than a kilometre away from port." I said, switching to something they better understood. "Decide which of you will be best suited to stopping ships, and the other will continue to find more information on Gato."

"Fine. I'm willing to give this Gato bastard a black eye. Heard him talking about ninja with his men like we are just some thugs with smoke and mirrors." Tayuya spat, "I hope he chokes on his lobster breakfast."

"Lobster breakfast?" I asked.

"Yeah. The midget apparently wants a lobster breakfast and eggs with fucking caviar in the morning."

I mulled that over in my mind before deciding it would be a good idea to give Gato something to worry about other than the nearby town.

"Tayuya-chan, while Kidomaru-kun is setting things up for us, would you be so kind as to go shopping for me?" I asked the kunoichi.

I didn't want to show up to my new breakfast meeting empty handed after all.
-

Hatake Kakashi came to consciousness and immediately cast his senses out for any feeling of killing intent. When none was found his mind slowly began to focus on things like remembering where he was, why he was in so much pain, and what smelled like teenage boy.

He sat up with a groan, prompting a cry of "Kakashi-sensei!"

The sound helped to further his migraine, Sakura had a lot of potential in her, but sweet Icha Icha did she have a shrill voice sometimes. And no, he wasn't being biased just because of his migraine.

"Sakura, please don't scream when people are just waking up." He groaned as he looked at what was probably the bridge builder's home. Or at least a room in it. It was sparse of decoration, though he spotted two sleeping bags that explained where the teenage boy smell was coming from.

In short order Sakura had gathered the rest of her the team and the three gave him a brief report on what had happened after he lost consciousness. Well two of them gave a report. Naruto gave...

"Then after you went all 'ugh' and fell then we were all like 'hungh' and you were really heavy but I managed to carry you with a little help. Then we saw this really colorful frog, right, and Tazuna said it was poisonous so we should totally get some of it's poison. But there was this tree that looks super haunted just a way down the road-"

Well, he'd have a talk with him later on what constitutes a mission report.

Then, when Kakashi had just gotten done going over the fact that Zabuza was probably alive and the three genin had their minor little freak out over that, a woman he was guessing to be Tazuna's daughter stuck her head into the room.

"Oh! You're awake! Well I wanted to let you all know that I'm about to start on breakfast, and you should know that I invited a guest to come by, so I don't want any of you worried when a stranger comes to the door.

Kakashi found himself pausing. It wasn't unusual for people to have guests. Though the timing did have him concerned.

"Ma. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thanks for the heads up. Mind if I ask who is coming by? For security reasons." Kakashi reassured.

"You know...I don't think I got her name." She admitted.

Little alarm bells started to go off in Kakashi's head.

"Oh? How did you meet? An invitation to your home when you don't even know the person's name is a bit odd." He said with his typical lackadaisical manner.

"Yeah. But she's really nice. She was handing out food in the town to everyone. She might have even saved lots of people's lives. I told her the least I could do is have her by for breakfast." Tsunami promised.

Charity wasn't unheard of. He recalled several times in war seeing the determined faces of those that just wanted everyone to stop being in so much pain and pursued that goal with their whole hearts. Hell, the thing that kept him from just writing off all of humanity were the people handing out food to the downtrodden in war torn areas. There have always been people with hearts so big that they couldn't just watch people die of sickness and disease. However said person was a ninja or had their backing to be able to accomplish anything.

In this case, someone had gotten large amounts of food on the island without somehow using Gato's docks. That took ninja stealth, or being on Gato's payroll.

"What a nice lady!" Naruto yelled. "Is she like a priestess or something?"

"They don't have to be a priestess to be nice Naruto." Sakura chastised, "I'll be sure to help you cook for her though Tsunami-san!"

"That's what they are in all of the stories." Naruto defended.

Only Sasuke seemed at all suspicious of the coming guest as the other two bickered.

"This woman. What does she look like?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh. Well her skin was perfectly white. She had long black hair. She looked about my age. Oh! And her eyes were this golden color and were silted, like a snakes."

The bells in Kakashi's head were no longer little. They were big gonging bells that sounded for miles with a marching band as back-up. He tried to remain calm though. Tsunami was talking about a woman. Orochimaru was a man, and while the Sannin could obviously disguise himself as a woman, if he was going to put on a disguise he wouldn't leave the hallmarks of his appearance still present for all to see.

So the better question is, who would have something to benefit from having people think that Orochimaru was a giving soul?

"I'll go keep an eye out for her." Sasuke said, giving a nod to indicate it was to see if the guest was coming with anything suspicious.

"Ma, no need," Kakashi said with a wave of his hand, "Best to stick around here."

"But-" Sasuke started.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you were here to help me out." Kakashi interrupted.

Fear crossed Sakura's face. She was a smart kid and could put two and two together. Once she grew a little less naive she would be a wonder to work with. Though her skill in combat wasn't great, she had a solid foundation for however she decided to develop as a shinobi. She was smart, quick on the uptake, and knew how to follow orders. She was also absolutely not equipped for this mission. None of the genin were. And that was before someone with a connection to the most dangerous Sannin was set to visit for breakfast.

"Well I'd love to meet her." Kakashi told Tsunami, who was beginning to catch onto the tension in the room. "I'd love to ask her what brought her here, and see if she could assist us in protecting your father."

His genin immediately caught onto what he meant. She was a possible threat, but not a confirmed one. Whoever this was could just be someone who was set to throw their hat into the proverbial ring before they even showed up. The weird female Orochimaru bit was probably just part of someone's plan, he just needed more information on what was happening. It could be that this other player was also opposed to Gato, which could mean an ally. His cute little genin immediately understood what he meant with that one line.

"Eh? How's she supposed to help against Gato? She's not a ninja." Naruto asked.

Well two-thirds of his genin got it.

"There are lots of ways to assist us, Naruto. Gato will also have plenty of soldiers. If she has food she might have the resources to help get the island to make sure we don't have to fight his men and Zabuza again." Kakashi said as a half truth.

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense." Naruto said as he folded his arms over his chest and nodded his head as if he were the one who figured it out.

At least he was a cute kid.

"Tsunami-san. Do you happen to have a pair of crutches that I can use?" Kakashi asked.

"Sure. I'll go get them real fast." The woman promised as she exited the room.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said seriously, "As soon as you hear the door knock, head to the roof. Don't engage with anyone unless you hear fighting."

The dark haired boy gave a nod.

"Hey, wait, what's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Sakura, do your best to stay between Tazuna and this newcomer."

"Wait. The nice lady is bad? Why?" Naruto asked.

"Think, dumbass." Sasuke growled. "The woman had enough food to feed an entire town of people. Think about how we got here. Now how did she get that much food in?"

"I mean, she could have, um...stolen it from Gato!" Naruto shouted triumphantly.

"Yep. She could have." Kakashi confirmed, "She might be an ally. But my concern is her description. Everything but the gender matches to one of Konoha's missing nin."

"What?" Naruto asked voice soft.

"What missing nin, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked in concern, while Sasuke's face grew dark, no doubt thinking about Konoha's other S-class missing nin.

"Orochimaru. A former student of the Third Hokage."

Sasuke and Sakura had the appropriate reactions to that news. Naruto though...

"Oh. Well that makes sense then." The blonde says as he puts his arms behind his head.

"Huh?" Kakashi found himself asking.

"Well I mean the Third is a huge pervert right? So his student would absolutely know the power of Sexy no Jutsu." Naruto said with a nod.

Kakashi ran his hand down his face, "No, Naruto, I'm pretty sure that isn't what's happening here."

"How strong is this Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked. The boy had a taste of a jonin's power the other day, and it clearly showed on his face that he wanted to know if he had any chance.

Kakashi knew he couldn't let them have hope of taking Orochimaru in a fight. With that in mind he gave his response. "You remember during the bell test how I completely outclassed all of you? Well Orochimaru can do that to me."

That managed to get through Naruto's head. The boy finally seemed to realize what kind of threat this guest might pose.

"Now this is probably not actually Orochimaru. He has never been the kind of person to hand out food to starving people. He also hasn't given any indicators that he might try to pass himself off as a woman."

It was a cornerstone of fake identities and illusions that you use as much of yourself as you can get away with. It makes the job easier, so there wasn't really a reason for Orochimaru to try and disguise himself as a woman in the first place.

"Naruto, if a fight breaks out, I'll need you to flood the room in clones. As many as you can make. Then get Tazuna-san and his family out of the house."

"Yes sir!" Naruto said with a salute.

"Kakashi-san. I got you those crutches." Tsunami's voice said through the door.

A few moments later Kakashi situated himself downstairs. Seated in a corner that gave him line of sight on every window and door on the first floor. Naruto was arguing with the client's child about their merit as ninja, Sakura was assisting Tsunami with boiling some rice, and Sasuke lurked at the stairs.

Their placement was about as ideal as he could ask for. Right when he was about to assure himself that he was over reacting he felt it. A powerful presence that was making no attempt to hide itself was approaching the house at a leisurely pace.

Kakashi felt his eyes widen. The presence was less than ten meters from the door, and he couldn't sense it only moments before. While he wasn't on the level of many people that could sense chakra, he was a decent hand at it if the person wasn't actively trying to conceal themselves. It was typically polite to not hide your presence when approaching an ally, and his time in ANBU had helped him learn to pick out specific people by their chakra signature.

Most people identified a person's chakra by the feel of their chakra natures. One of Kakashi's closest comrades in ANBU he only knew by his harmony of water and earth with shockingly low levels of wind chakra. People better than he said they could also feel general personality traits in someone's chakra, though Kakashi had never managed that.

The presence Kakashi felt. The unabashed signature happily announcing who it was. He could tell they had more chakra than he could shake a stick at. He could feel that they had a strong nature of wind with a solid undercurrent of earth. All of it felt exactly like Orochimaru's chakra had to him the one time he'd met the man.

A knock came at the door, and he almost shouted at Tsunami to not open it. But he reminded himself that Orochimaru was probably not going to be stopped by three centimetres of worn wood; the entire building attached to it was equally useless.

The only hope they had was that the Snake Sannin was not here to kill or kidnap any of his genin. Should that not be the case...well then most of his plans involved using suicide techniques that would possibly buy his team a few seconds to get away. Maybe long enough for one of them to think of something clever.

After the small eternity it took for Tsunami to reach the door, Kakashi could practically feel the Shinigami's hand clutching his heart in it's cold hands. Then the door opened and-

"Hello, Tsunami-chan. I brought gifts!" A woman in a white dress with pink and purple flowers stood in the door, her hair was tied back with a purple bow. She had no visible weapons and instead carried a basket of lobster, eggs, and caviar. Yet the summoners mark on her arm and her snake eyes were rimmed with familiar purple lines.

"Ara ara. If it isn't Kakashi-kun! You've grown!"

Kakashi could only make an odd mumbling sound that turned into a wheeze as his mind processed what was in front of him.

If he didn't die, they were going to put him in an asylum for what he was going to put in the report.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

Kakashi sounded vaguely like someone had just punctured a bagpipe. Which made it fairly clear to me that he had apparently remembered the feel of Orochimaru's aura chakra. Well not exactly. One of Oto's sensors had informed me, after much hours of study, my chakra seemed to have a lot more Yin energy in it.

The presence of more of the "female" energy did not seem suspicious to anyone that knew. At least no more suspicious than everything else I was doing.

"So glad you could make it!" Tsunami said as she approached me, though when her eyes landed on my basket of food, they widened. "Oh my! You didn't have to bring such expensive ingredients for just a little breakfast."

"Oh it's no problem, Tsunami-chan." I reassured, "If I hadn't grabbed them they would have gone to a waste."

"Don't you mean go to waste?" Naruto asked me with innocent eyes.

"Nope!" I chirped in response.

"What are you doing here?" Kakashi seemed to have recovered himself, his voice filled with steel and resolve. The man doubtlessly preparing to nobly sacrifice himself so that his students could find time to escape from the terrible murderer that brought them caviar and lobster to have for breakfast.

"Ara ara. So serious, Kakashi-kun. I'm just here to help some of the locals." I promised. Kakashi seemed taken aback by my comment.

"You expect me to believe that you, Orochi-"

"Tama." I interrupted him.

"What?"

"Orochitama." I responded, "That's what I go by now."

"See Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, "This isn't that guy you were worried about. She just has a similar name." The blonde seemed now very relaxed in the situation as he came to conclusion that, because my name was two syllables different, Kakashi was just mistaken about me.

Cute kid. People had a lot of work ahead of them to make sure he doesn't die a very early death.

Sakura, meanwhile, could clearly tell that Kakashi was high-strung but wasn't very sure on why. She also had the sense to not draw a weapon since Kakashi wasn't doing that either.

Kakashi was also clearly trying to see what angle I might have for having people call me Orochitama as well.

"That can't be all you are here for." Kakashi finally said.

"Kakashi-san." Tsunami interrupted, "I don't know what your past is with Orochitama, but if you keep acting like this to a guest I'll-"

"It's okay, Tsunami-chan." I interrupted, "He has good reason to be suspicious. And I do have another reason for being here." I admitted.

Kakashi's gaze slid towards Naruto and he stepped a bit closer.

"Oh relax. I'm not here for you or your team. I'll explain over breakfast, since I for one am famished."

Kakashi reluctantly gave a nod. Likely realizing that, at the very least, I wasn't going to kill anyone this second. That or he just came to terms with the fact that if I did want to do something there wasn't much of anything he could actually do to stop me.

"Sakura. Can you please assist in making breakfast. Naruto, go tell Sasuke to come inside."

I mentally translated the Copy Nin's words to their true meaning. "Make sure she doesn't poison us while I stand to the side and watch like a hawk."

I'm not sure why, but I found Kakashi's rampant paranoia endlessly amusing. The man had very good reason to be paranoid about me, but all of his blustering, demands, and preparation I just found cute, since we both knew that he had literally nothing to stop me.

It was probably really stressful for him though.

I idly noted that Tazuna had entered the room with a scowling Inari. The two didn't much react to my presence beyond Tazuna checking out my ass before addressing me.

"You must be the one that Tsunami told me about. I'm Tazuna. Thank you so much for what you are doing for Wave." The bridge builder greeted with a bow.

"It's nice to meet you, Tazuna-san. I'm Orochitama." I greeted back, before crouching to put me near eye level to Inari, "And who's this?"

The child shuffled his feet and looked down, not meeting my eyes and gave a mumbled, "Inari."

"Well, nice to meet you Inari-chan." I said sincerely. "I'm not very familiar with your mom's kitchen, so can you help me with making breakfast?"

In the corner of my eye I noticed Sakura beginning to relax.

Kakashi, however, seemed to be weighing the value of Tsunami's child and the lives of his team, and feeling really guilty about the answer he was coming up with.

"Kakashi. Relax. You're going to give yourself grey hairs." I joked, "And make your futile attempts at making sure I do nothing dastardly from a sitting position. A stiff wind could push you over."

"Listen bastard. Kakashi-sensei just said to come inside. You wanna know why, you ask him!" Naruto shouted as the front door swung open, admitting Ninja Jesus and Ninja Anti-Christ into the home.

"Ara ara. This must be the last member of your team, Kakashi-kun." I said as I spied the last Uchiha walk into the room.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said in a formal tone, which immediately made Sasuke on edge, "This is Orochimaru."

"Ah, Kakashi-kun, I thought I told you. It's Orochitama." I corrected as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of Tsunami's aprons.

Sasuke's eyes grew yet wider and he looked to Kakashi.

"You mean the man who-" Saskue started.

"Ah, well appearances can be deceiving." Kakashi said in what seemed like reassurance to most of the room. Sasuke took it for what the jounin intended. A warning to not trust the nice lady act I was giving.

"Hey, hey! Orochi Lady." Naruto interrupted, "You are a ninja, right?"

"I am." I acknowledged before turning to the counter. "Inari, get me a big bowl and a pot. Sakura, as soon as he does, can you please start cracking eggs into the bowl?"

I took charge of the kitchen from there. Ordering the various members in the house on menial tasks. From having Naruto fetch some water, to Tsunami preparing the rice, to Sakura beating the eggs, and even having Inari help me crack open the lobster's shell. All the while Kakashi sat on a nearby stool, staring with an almost unblinking gaze to see if I added anything into the mix that didn't belong there. Sasuke's gaze hardened every-time my hands strayed to a kitchen knife. Sakura constantly had to remind herself to not just get into the cooking process.

Tazuna was also staring, though for very different reasons.

Soon I was frying the rice in the beaten eggs. The already cooked lobster meat was added in. A few spices thrown on for taste, and caviar thrown in at the last second.

It was the most expensive breakfast I'd ever had.

"Well, Tsunami, if you would put these in bowls, I have some questions to answer." I said.

The other woman gave an affirmative and I settled myself at the dinner table, idly fanning myself to cool down from the stove's heat.

"So, to answer your earlier question, Kakashi-kun. I have a question in response."

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto all came to the table, while Sakura hung back in the kitchen.

"What's your question?" Kakashi asked after he seated himself.

"How, exactly, do you think that Gato, a civilian, managed to get a hold of Zabuza? The man is one of Kiri's most wanted Missing Nin. Yet he managed to recruit him. How would you think such a thing could happen?"

"Zabuza could have found him, right? Because he needed money." Naruto asked.

I gave a nod, "True. But why would he do that, when Gato could then make a profit by informing Kiri on his location?"

"Someone introduced them then." Sasuke concluded.

"Ah. And I bet you know who that is." Kakashi accused, clearly thinking that it was me that introduced the two.

"Ara ara. So suspicious." I shook my head, "But no. It wasn't me. Though it is why I'm here. Gato has a ninja backer. Someone is helping him with his business. I'm very interested in who that someone is."

"So, what? You just going to go and beat it out of him? I can probably go kick his ass." Naruto smacked a fist into his palm.

"Oh no. Nothing like that." I shook my head, "I just intend for Gato to have some very bad days for the next few days until he gets panicked, and his big scary Demon of the Mist is in recovery."

Kakashi connected the dots I had laid out. "You want Gato to run off to alert his contact so you can get that contact for yourself."

"Sharp as ever, Kakashi-kun." I acknowledged. Rather than confirm the theory, this seemed to make the man question it instead.

"Why hand out the food though?" Sasuke asked. "That doesn't serve your goals."

I looked at the dark haired child, who already held such a dim view of the world that he felt the need to question acts of charity. Though I granted that it would serve him well in his chosen career path. In the ninja world there was often no such thing as too paranoid.

Which is really the only reason I've managed to get away with most of the shit I've pulled.

"Let me ask this instead, Sasuke-kun. Why is the mission to build the bridge important?"

Sasuke turned the question over in his head for a while. "They want to break Gato's monopoly on the transport to the island. He owns the docks, so this is a way for them to be able to get things another way."

I gave a nod, "That's a good theory. A good story too. You just need another way for people to get what they need and Gato's power collapses." I turned to Tazuna, who had been lingering nearby, listening to the conversation. "Tazuna. How hard do you think it would be for Gato to take over your bridge after you've built it? To make all incoming and outgoing traffic pass through his control?"

Even Naruto realized how easily the man could do just that.

"Then...why? Why go through all this trouble if Gato is just going to be able to take over it? What are we here fighting for then?" Naruto slammed a palm down on the table. Sasuke's face had grown darker.

"An excellent question." I responded. "Tazuna. Enlighten them."

The aging bridge builder heaved a sigh as the weight of the entire island settled on his shoulders. The old man collapsed at the table.

"She's right. The bridge by itself won't do anything. It's why I've managed to build as much as I have without anything happening." Tazuna admitted. "Gato doesn't care about the bridge itself. He cares about what it gives to the people. Hope."

"Hope?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Yes. One of the most powerful weapons in the world." I piped up. "Hope has been the cause of the rise and fall of more countries and causes than you can count. Hope is a powerful thing. It makes people act in ways that aren't their best interest. It makes people stand up. Put their lives on the line. It makes them rise against tyrants."

"But...why does it give hope? Why do people think it will fix their problems?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head in question.

"Because I told them it would." Tazuna admitted. "I told them that if it was completed we'd be able to fight against Gato. And with that promise people made plans to fight."

"So...it's not about the bridge? It's about getting people to fight?" Whiskered cheeks scrunched inwards. "Why not just make people fight then? Just waiting till a bridge is there is stupid."

"Of course it is. We're dealing with people, Naruto-kun." I responded as Tsunami and Sakura approached the table, bowls in hand for everyone.

"So that's why you were handing out food. You want to help the people be hopeful. You want them to rise against Gato." Sasuke concluded.

"Well, I did say I wanted him to feel pressured. Doing it in a way that helps people makes everything just that little bit better." I said as I took an offered bowl from Tsunami. "Now both you boys get up. Let Tsunami and Inari have a spot to sit and eat."

The two acquiesce quickly, allowing a spot for the mother and child to sit. Kakashi, meanwhile, stealthily dumped a few vials of liquid into his food. Doubtlessly something meant to detect poisons.

Meanwhile Naruto jumped up and practically danced with his bowl.

"Thanks! I'm starving." The boy began to shovel the food into his mouth.

"Sorry. I planned on having some breakfast ready earlier, but got a little tied up with doing some cleaning." Tsunami apologized.

Not being able to resist such a line, I rested an elbow on the table, placed my chin on top my fist, and gave my best husky tone, "Oh Tsunami, I can find much better ways for you to be tied up."

Tazuna froze as conflict stormed on his face. Inari and Naruto found nothing of note with my statement. Sasuke and Tsunami both looked confused. Kakashi just stared at me, as if asking me how he should react that.

The big surprise is that Sakura choked on her food.

"Really, Sakura-chan. What sort of books have you been reading?" I tutted, "Kakashi-kun. Have you been a bad influence?"

I really shouldn't have been surprised though. A girl just in puberty that constantly thinks about a boy and spends most of her time reading books? Personal experience should have warned me better than that.

Sakura, after she finished choking, gave a weak denial. "It just went down the wrong tube. I didn't know anything."

"Sure thing sweetie." I said, not wanting to keep the subject going enough for the other two to catch on. They had enough corruption, they didn't need this kind too."Well everyone eat up! You three in particular. Your sensei needs to get you all training."

Kakashi once again looked at me in shock.

"No Kakashi-kun. I can't read your mind." I stated, though that got me a flat look in response.

"Are you going to kill us after all the bad jokes? Because if so, I'd just like to skip to that part." He groused.

I gave a smirk. There is only so long a person can go on while terrified for their life before the terror becomes just a general wariness.

"Training? Training what? Is it going to be a cool ninjutsu? Oh man, we're going to learn to make things go all like swish, and then blam, and then have it go all boom!" The blond said while swinging around his now empty bowl. Gatos caviar probably didn't even really register for him.

"Ara ara. Swish, blam, and boom? All the ones I know can only do two of those max."

"Yeah, well Kaka-sensi knows a thousand jutsu, so you shouldn't feel too bad about it." Naruto comforted.

Orochimaru had a goal to learn off the the world's jutsu. He had spent a long time trying to accomplish that before his demise. The number of them he knew were well past a thousand.

"Oh? I'll be sure to pay attention then." I took one last bite of my food, finishing the food off. "Well then, please, do teach me something, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi smacked one hand to his face, "Naruto just-" he took a breath, "just go get my crutches."
-

Hatake Kakashi had come to the conclusion that Orochimaru was just trying to mess with his head. The snake summoner's comments and motions were all attempts to provoke a reaction from him. The woman was clearly watching him. Almost everything she said or did she turned to see what his reaction to them was.

The woman bit was also surprising. More surprising was that he found himself buying the idea that Orochimaru was, in fact, female. It was the small motions. The way she walked, the way she sat, the way she talked, the way she flirted. All of it was very female. This was not someone who just decided to try on some breasts to see if they could get a reaction.

Kakashi was really not sure what to do with that information.

"So what are we actually learning?" Sasuke asked, his gaze still locked on Orochi...tama walking beside an excitedly chattering Naruto.

"Aside from how to deal with unexpected interference in missions, you'll learn how to climb trees." Kakashi responded.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, though the Uchiha didn't press it. Which was good. Sasuke had really impressed him with how he was handling the Snake Sannin's appearance. All of his genin were impressing him in different ways.

Sasuke clearly picked up on Kakashi's own distrust and with just a few words knew he needed to be near a teammate and ready to act at a moments notice. He also kept very close notice on every movement that Orochitama made.

Sakura was doing a great job in prioritizing the protection of their clients. The girl was clearly unsure if Orochitama was actually a threat, but she was taking textbook perfect precautions to keep the client safe.

Even Naruto, who seemed to decide that Orochitama was his new best friend, was noticeably not bringing up any information that wasn't already discussed. Naruto was doing a lot of talking, and most of it was gathering information while giving only vague comments and well known facts in return. He probably wasn't doing it consciously, but Kakashi could already tell he'd set Naruto with all assets he needed information out of in the future.

He just hoped that his cute little genin lived through this encounter. Though he was growing sure that Orochitama wasn't going to kill them. At least not now. She probably wanted them around to draw attention, to have another thing Gato was worried about. Because he was pretty sure that part was truthful.

Gato had a ninja backer. In retrospect he was almost embarrassed he hadn't realized that himself. Kakashi was very positive that the contact was not the only thing Orochitama had shown up for though. Otherwise she wouldn't have made contact with him and his team. And there are far better ways to make someone panic than handing out food to a repressed population. He just hadn't managed to see the whole picture yet.

"Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said timidly and quietly, "Why is it that she's coming with us to train?"

"Because he couldn't leave me alone with his client." Orochitama replied loudly, causing Sakura to jump a little.

Kakashi made a note to himself to work on wordless communication with his team when they got back home.

"She's right. I couldn't leave her with the client." Kakashi admitted, he also kept quiet that the other reason was because there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop the Sannin from doing whatever she pleased. He just hoped that once he got the kids on their training exercise she'd get bored and leave.

Kakashi cast his gaze about. They were in a clearing that would serve his purposes well enough. The sooner this started, the sooner he could go to bed and pretend this was all a fever dream.

"So, you guys are going to be learning how to climb trees."

"We already learned how to climb trees. That was like the first lesson in the Academy!" Naruto complained.

"Not like this. You are going to learn to climb trees without your hands." Kakashi began to make his way over to a tree when a white hand reached out to stop him.

"How about you lets someone not suffering from Chakra exhaustion do this, hm?" Orochitama said before calmly walking herself up the tree and out onto a branch.

Kakashi marveled slightly at the level of chakra control she was also showing by keeping her dress and...other bits still in place.

"The tree climbing exercise is one of great benefit to a genin. It helps train your chakra control, which can in turn be used have you move faster, hit harder, and of course walk on any surface." Orochitama said.

She was willing to give lessons to his genin? That was worrisome. Was that why she was doing this? To have one of his team go off with her and think she was just some nice ninja lady?

It wasn't a horrible plan actually. All three of his students would be very attractive recruits for someone like Orochitama. If this was all just part of a recruitment drive for his students...

Kakashi suddenly become very worried he'd be seeing a whole lot more of Orochitama.

Doing his best to not show his disquiet on his face, he threw three kunai into the ground. "Give it a try yourself, use a kunai to mark your progress. A running start will help too."

The three genin did as instructed.

"As you run you have to be careful with how much chakra you are using through your feet. Too much and you'll break the wood. Too little and you won't stick."

Naruto was the first to fall. He had gotten a few steps up the tree before his feet began to slip out from under him as he used too little chakra. Sasuke just about reached the first branch when the bark cracked under him.

Meanwhile Sakura was taking a light jog to the upper reaches of the tree with seemingly no effort.

"Ara ara. Impressive Sakura-chan. I've only ever seen one person manage to do that well on their first try." Orochitama congratulated.

Kakashi managed to contain his own shock. He knew that Sakura would do better than the other two, her control was impressive, but he didn't think she'd manage it on her first try.

"Good job too Sasuke-kun. That's a little bit farther than I managed the first time I tried this." She complimented further.

"Naruto-kun, you might want to burn some chakra off first before you try again."

That had Kakashi coming up short.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, "What does that have to do with being able to climb the tree?"

For once, Kakashi found himself agreeing with his student. He wasn't sure why Naruto would want to do that either.

"You have lots of chakra Naruto-kun." The woman said as she detached from the tree-branch and flipped to land in front of the boy.

Kakashi was positive that the flash of satin he got was entirely intentional and it made him very uncomfortable.

Orochitama gave a pat to the boy's head, "So much energy in such a small package means that your chakra has a higher density than most people's."

"Density?" Sakura asked from her spot on a nearby branch.

"Yeah. Imagine most people's chakra is like sugar water. You get it flow how you want by making the right path for it. But Naruto here is more like syrup. He'll have to work even harder to get his chakra to move how he wants it to, but his is so potent that just a dab of it will do for most techniques."

Kakashi stared. He hadn't known that. He wasn't entirely sure it was actually true, but from what he understood of chakra theory it might just be. It changed everything about how he planned on teaching Naruto. At least it would after he got someone who he actually trusted to confirm the theory.

"So using a bunch of chakra first will help me burn through it and make my chakra easier to use because it makes it more like sugar water?" Naruto asked uncertainly.

"No. More like...it changes to warm syrup instead of cold syrup. Once you have your charkra moving and pumping it's going to be easier to use. I'm simplifying things a lot here, but the net result is that you will find that the longer a fight goes on, the better you'll do." Orochitama said as she slightly adjusted the bow in her hair.

"Whoa! I get better and better during a fight? I knew it!" Naruto said with a fist pump, "Hey, how come you didn't tell me this stuff Kakashi-sensei?"

"I uh-" Kakashi was hesitant to just say he didn't know. He almost began with a defense that this was based off of chakra theory that only people that worked in laboratories knew when he was cut off.

"Naruto, cut him some slack. No one can know everything. And your sensei is pretty famous. He's one of Konoha's top jounin and he is one of the Fourth Hokage's two living students."

She defended him to his students? Why would she-

Wait.

Kakashi's thoughts came to a halt.

"What? Kakashi was a student of the Fourth?!" Naruto yelled.

She just said-

"Really Sensei?" Sakura's question and Sasuke's brief sound of being impressed were entirely ignored.

Two.

"What do you mean one of two-" Kakashi asked as his blood ran cold. His voice sounding distant even in his own ears.

"Ara ara." Orochitama interrupted, "Look at the time. I have another appointment I need to get to. I'll have to pick this up with you later, Kakashi-sensei. Thanks for the lesson. I learned a lot." The devil of a woman said as she vanished.

Kakashi leaned against the tree behind him and tried to catch his breath. She was lying. She had to be. He'd assume she was until he received further proof.

Though a voice in his head whispered something he just couldn't shake.

Telling him that would only serve a purpose to Orochitama if it was true.

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Chapter Text

I knew going in that I would say something to hint at Obito. Before I had even approached Tazuna's house I wanted to get him thinking in that direction. However, when the words left my mouth, when I said that there were two students of the Yondaime Hokage still alive, I couldn't say the rest.

Kakashi's face, even mostly covered, flashed through so many emotions. Guilt, rage, sadness. All of them were so powerful on his face I immediately knew that I couldn't turn around and say that same person was also responsible for the death of his second father.

Realistically, Kakashi wouldn't believe me if I'd said all that anyway. The idea in his head of who Obito was would not be able to match up with who he had become. I'd give more hints before they left Wave for home, but I certainly couldn't give the whole story.

Not yet.

In the meantime I needed to start on one of my other major objectives.

To seduce a man into going home with me.

Within moments of travel I arrived at Gato's headquarters. A massive structure in the middle of the woods. The only reason I could think of for that is that the man didn't have his base of operations at his docks was to make it harder for angry mobs to get to him.

The woods actually made it easier to approach undetected. Though that was a bit of bias from a Konoha shinobi. We were trained to navigate trees until it was second nature, and that training didn't go away. Even from soul absorption apparently.

The approach to his hideout was noticeably easier as well. Either a different person set up the security for the docks, or Gato was confident no one would attack this location. Regardless, it was a cakewalk for me to open a window and slip into my desired room.

It was only slightly more difficult to bat the senbon needles out of the air and grab a slender wrist before it could jam a weapon into my throat.

"Ara ara. You must be Haku-chan." I greeted as I shifted my grip to a handshake. "I'm here to speak with your master."

"I won't let you touch-" the androgynous voice responded before being cut off.

"Haku." A deep baritone interrupted, "Stop. I will hear what she has to say. Besides, if she wasn't here to talk, you'd be dead."

A hiss sounded making Haku glance down. A black mamba had its mouth centimetres from her leg. With my grip on her arm, she wouldn't have been able to get away if it tried bite her.

It wouldn't, because I told it not to bite anyone unless I specifically ordered it to, but ninja need these "look how badass I am" moments when they meet each other.

It was stupid, but apparently showing that you can kill them is pretty much the only way to make a ninja respect you on initial meeting. That or just showing yourself as a really hard person to kill, though that involved more steps.

"Zabuza! It's a pleasure to meet you." I released Haku and gave a curtsy.

The Demon of the Mist looked up at me from his spot in the bed. I wasn't sure if his skin was always so pale, or if it was from being clinically dead for so long, but the man's complexion was almost the same as my own.

His hair was ruffled and messy, and his sheets were perfectly straight, showing he hadn't really been moving at all since he got into the bed. Everything spoke of weakness but his eyes. His eyes looked at me without fear. But with a grim acceptance. If I was here to kill him, Zabuza would have no hard feelings about it.

"Who are you? You have snakes. You look like Orochimaru. And I know you aren't Mitarashi. So, who are you?" Zabuza asked.

"Orchimaru is no more. I am Orochitama." I replied.

Zabuza stared at me for a moment, analyzing my response for deeper meaning. I kindly waited for him to finish his thought process. It didn't take long.

"And what do you want?"

"I want you to come home with me and help me make little ninjas."

Zabuza quirked an eyebrow and notice Haku take a glance at their master, obviously asking what to do with that information.

"I don't do that. Though I know a brothel that could accommodate." Zabuza replied.

"Ara ara. That's not what I meant at all." Though it was what I meant intended to imply. I valued a sense of humor in my employees and his dry sarcasm was appreciated. It made me more certain of my decision. "No, what I meant was I have some ninja's that need training, and missions that need doing. Someone of your strength would be of a great help to me."

"Have you not heard how I got the name Demon of the Mist? Go away. I'll slaughter any students you have." Zabuza said dismissively.

"Yes. I've heard of it. And I've seen some of your mission reports as well. Near the end of your time in the Bloody Mist you had one of the highest records for missions where your comrades returned alive." I said as I cocked my head to one side, "Then you tried to overthrow a tyrant and were kicked out for your efforts. You then picked up a stray and gave them life skills and molded them into being a splendid shinobi. Your resume is impressive."

"So you want to be my boss because I tried to kill my old boss and because I've shown I can bend people to my will?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes. If I'm a tyrant, feel free to rebel again." I said with a nod, "And my people could use some bending. Just don't break them, or I'll be mad."

Zabuza stared at me, deciding how serious I was. I gave a serene smile in response. Finally, Zabuza started to give a deep chuckle.

"Sounds interesting. If you're good for the cash, I might be interested. But I'm on a job right now, so I can't. After the bridge builder is dead we could talk terms." Zabuza promised.

"I don't suppose I could make you drop the contract?" I asked, "It's not time sensitive, but I'd like you to start as soon as possible. Plus fighting the Copy Ninja again will probably not be good for your long term health."

"It might not." Zabuza acknowledged. "But I accepted a contract. I don't give up part way." Professional pride shined in his eyes.

"Ara ara. Lines like that just make me want you more, Zabuza-kun." I replied. "Though would you feel the same if you found out Gato means to betray you at the end of your contract?"

Haku actually gasped. Zabuza shot them a reproachful look.

"If you have proof, I'll kill him myself. If not I will continue my job as intended. If he tries to betray me I'll take my money from his corpse." Zabuza responded simply. The man had a clear picture of who he was and what he was about. It was respectable.

"Well you stand by your principles. If you didn't I wouldn't want you." I stated firmly, though the assassin frowned.

"Ninja are tools. They don't need principles." Zabuza spoke with conviction.

"Then maybe this isn't such a good match after all." I responded as I began to walk towards the window. "Tools don't build nations. People do."

Zabuza's eyes widened. The talk of building a nation was no small thing. The balance of power in the world was an unstable one. Zabuza wasn't stupid. He knew that signing on for my proposal would be very likely to end in war.

Though if I had my way it would only be a little one.

"If I'm too much for you Zabuza-kun, it won't break my heart for you to say you aren't interested."

"Hatake Kakashi is too much of a threat to bother worrying about your offer right now. If I'm alive in a week I'll give you my answer then."

I gave a small laugh. "Well I can't begrudge you that." I turned to jump out the window but paused and turned to Haku. "I'm sorry. Do you have a preferred gender, Haku-chan?"

Haku, wearing a mask, gave no apparent show of emotion.

"No?" Haku's response sounded like a question.

"We'll talk more." I promised before hopping out the window. I had things to do, and only so many hours in the day to fuck with Gato's head after all.
-

Zabuza watched the woman go. Leaving both himself and Haku alone.

"Zabuza-sama. Who was that?" Haku asked.

The Demon of the Mist contemplated the question for a moment before responding, "Someone dangerous."

His apprentice removed the Hunter-nin mask to expose worried eyes. "Do you think she intends harm on you?"

"No." Zabuza responded. "But I don't think she's saying everything either. She was testing us just as much as she was offering us a job."

"Testing for what?" Haku asked.

"I don't know, but she was good at it. She kept giving responses specifically to unbalance someone. She was able to control the conversation because she kept making sure we were still figuring out what she meant by the time she said something else, unless she boiled things down to a simple yes or no answer."

Zabuza had to hand it to the woman. She knew the right way to distract. There was potential double meaning to everything she said. She purposefully took advantage of a ninja's habit of looking deeper into another person's words, and said things that could be interpreted in so many ways it could make one dizzy. She only made two things absolutely certain though.

This Orochitama wanted him alive and well for a job, but also wanted to challenge his view of the world. In negotiation it made no sense so directly oppose someone's world view. She even made working with her contingent on a change of belief.

Though it might be a ploy to make them think she cared for them personally. A lie many villages and employers tell. He'd play along with her whims for now, if only to solve the dangerous puzzle presented to him.

"Haku. Don't fight that woman." Zabuza ordered.

"Yes, Zabuza-sama. I won't start anything with her."

"No." Zabuza corrected, "Even if she comes for my life, don't try to stop her."

"What!? Why?" Pain flashed across his apprentice's face.

"There is no sense in you dying too."

"I am a tool for you, Zabuza-sama. It's my job to-"

"We are tools, Haku." He agreed. "However, there is a difference be a tool used and a tool wasted. She is strong. I know you felt her chakra too. She was making no attempt to hide it from us. She would kill me, and she would do it quickly. You dying too would be a waste."

"I can't accept that, Zabuza-sama." Haku argued.

"Not my problem." He grunted in response. Though a small part of his mind pointed out that tools didn't argue back at those that wield them. Just as tools also don't care about what they create.

Besides, all of that was a distraction. He had other, more important, things to think about.

"Run me through the fight again. When did my behavior change again." Zabuza ordered. He had a Copy Ninja to prepare for.
-

With my meeting with Zabuza behind me I started on my next task, which was thankfully very close by. Gato's office. I needed access to all his paperwork. And his booze cabinet, because I had found it very difficult to find any alcohol other than sake here. At the current rate I'd have to go find some agave and start making my own.

Finding the office wasn't hard, even if I hadn't had Tayuya's directions. I just had to look for a really big room with really gaudy furniture and with a massive window.

Gato was many things. Subtle wasn't one of them.

I quickly riffled through the man's files. They had plenty of information on employee records and shipping logs, but those weren't what I was interested in. My real target took a bit longer to find. Gato's transaction books.

Those I found in a secret compartment in the desk. I flipped to the most recent pages and began scanning through the contents, looking for days where unusually large transactions were made. The amount of shinobi weapons and exploding tags he had would lead to single transactions that were much larger than his normal day to to day stuff.

I was quick to find the number that had one more zero than all the other entries had. No name was tied to the transactions, simply an account number. Cross referencing the days of the deposits to the shipping manifests didn't show any consistent drop off location. So the client was paying for things to be sent to many different locations.

That didn't answer much. Any giving missing-nin or hidden village had multiple locations they wanted to stockpile weapons. Though the sheer number of weapons implied that this wasn't a lone ninja.

"Couldn't just leave a convenient piece of paper saying the name of your mysterious client out and about, could you?" I grumbled. It was then I took a brief moment to raid the liqueur cabinet as well.

It was equally as disappointing.

"Can you people make any alcohol out of something other than rice?"

I did grab a bottle of umeshu, which was at least also made with plums.

I returned to the desk and looked through the files once more. I looked through the transactions again. This time not looking at the amounts, but the names associated with the payments.

"There you are."

In the books there was another account that was only a number. It also made a much smaller payment than the big ticket ones I was looking for at first. But they were linked. One small payment then several weeks later, a larger one.

"A down payment." I acknowledged.

Back the shipping manifests I found another pattern. Every time a down payment was made, there was a delivery from the Land of Lighting. It wasn't damming evidence, but it strongly implied Kumogakure were the ones backing Gato.

"I guess now I just have to see how much they actually care." I commented as I left the room.

I did not clean up all of the files behind me.
-

Gato was very confident that he was an extraordinary man.

Objectively it was true. He had come from being a nobody, some random fisherman's son, to being one of the richest men on the continent. From being someone who didn't even have a family name, to being someone who had business meetings with Daimyo. All thanks to the fact that he knew how the world worked.

The strong lived, the weak got crushed. Same way the big countries with their hidden villages kept every small country from growing too large. The same way that a lord took the wealth of his subjects so that none could challenge him. The same way ninjas killed everyone in a little shopping district, including his mother, just to get at the one ninja in hiding. Even the same way his dad came home drunk and beat the shit of him to blow off steam from work.

It was just the way the world worked. You need to strength to take what you want, and you need to use that strength to keep anyone from taking it from you.

That was the failure that finally ended his father. His father failed to stop Gato from hiding enough money to buy a knife. And he certainly failed to stop Gato from stabbing him in the throat while he slept. It was a powerful lesson. One Gato kept to this day.

You can't allow anyone to challenge your strength, or you'd find a knife in your throat. So that's what he did with his business. If he got a rival, he exploited their weaknesses, and if that didn't work a blade in the night worked just as well. Everyone had a vice and way to get to them.

However, as Gato stared at his office, piles of paperwork tossed about and his secret ledger of his accounts left out in the open, Gato knew that he wasn't strong enough.

He hadn't been strong enough since he'd started accepting contracts from ninja. They were stronger than him. There was nothing he could do to stop them. He could probably have his men handle one or two of them, if they ganged up together. Most of the strength of ninja was preparation and illusion. But the raw resources and reach of a ninja dwarfed what he could accomplish.

All just because they were born in a hidden village.

"Going to business with ninja was a mistake." He said as his blood ran cold. His most personal room, even more than his bedroom, had been violated.

All because those damn ninja had made him an offer he couldn't refuse. That or because the stupid ninja that they had helped him hire couldn't kill one guy and his three kids. There were forces at play that went above him, that he had no control over.

He hated it. He swore no one would have that kind of power over him again.

"Yama! Kodo! Get your asses in here! What the hell is this! How did you two dumbasses let someone in here!"

There wasn't anything he could do about the ninja. Shinobi had to deal with shinobi. In the meantime he could make sure that no one challenged him outside that.

"Next time one of you screwups misses something like this again, I'll have you whipped!"

He would leave his contacts out of this for now though. The last thing he needed was more ninja running around.

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Chapter Text

Kabuto prided himself on his mental fortitude. He'd been through things that would collapse the minds of lesser men. His mind was a precision machine designed to deal with stress and maintain an unfailing logical outlook.

His very logical mind proposed that just killing all the scientists was probably the most efficient way of dealing with his current stressors.

"I must have just misunderstood you. Your current project is is one designed to research sound-waves effects on solid objects. Correct?" Kabuto asked.

"Yes." The scientist agreed happily.

"And you had decided that the best way to go about that was to test one of the pillars supporting the ceiling of your lab. When you were testing the destructive power of sound waves." Kabuto clarified.

The dust covered scientist nodded his head. "It was a resounding success."

"Success? You collapsed the ceiling of three different labs. Including your own." Kabuto continued, hoping the man would connect the dots. "You killed two lab assistants!"

"I know! Imagine how great it will work against our enemies!"

"I am. It's saving your life."

"Huh?" The scientist asked.

"Your funding will go towards the rebuilding of those labs until they have been remade. You will also have no assistants until such a time that Orochitama-sama decides otherwise." Kabuto said then gave a wave. "You're dismissed."

The scientist looked as if Kabuto had just slapped him in the face. Kabuto couldn't bring himself to care.

"You can't-"

"Get out." Kabuto ordered.

The scientist left whilst muttering under his breath. Something resembling joy fizzled in the lump of coal Kabuto called a heart. One lone idiot wouldn't ordinarily be enough to break Kabuto's charade of polite cheer. But this appointment wasn't the first of it's kind. He'd had five others just like them. That same day.

Kabuto immediately knew why it was so bad too. Orochitama was gone. And with her gone many scientists thought they could get away with things, or that Kabuto would give different answers than Orochitama did. They were like toddlers who found out mom wasn't coming home for a few hours.

"Um, Kabuto-sama. I'm here to put in a request." A mousy woman with purple hair said from his door.

Kabuto put on his best smile. "Yes, Ayasugi-san. What is the request for?"

"Oh. Um. You probably have been getting this a lot, but I'm here to apply for human testing." The woman practically whispered.

"I'm sorry Ayasugi-san. We currently aren't doing any human testing unless you can provide ample research on-" Kabuto began.

"On animal test subjects. Yes. I've done that. Here." The woman handed over a large stack of papers she had been holding. Kabuto held his surprise. He had actually assumed the large amounts of papers with her were just going to be more requests. He took her notes and began to flip through them.

"Your research is on sustained area of effect genjutsu?" Kabuto asked. The research he was seeing so far was well organized and well thought out.

"Yes!" The woman piped up, suddenly very energetic. "It uses a seal array to cast a genjutsu over an area and casts it again a minute later, and repeats until it runs out of energy. We need human test subjects to find out how strong the illusion actually is though. No possibility of unintended loss of life as well."

It all looked like everything was in order. This was something that legitimately needed human testing to pass it on to the next stage. As long as the illusion was not too mind scaring this was something that needed to go on to the next stage.

"I have to pour over your research some more, but if all I've seen so far is correct it looks like you will be approved for human testing in the next week or so."

The woman blushed and clapped her hands together. "Oh good! It's been so long since I've heard a human's squeals of terror." She stated in the same shy tone.

The woman turned and skipped out of the room.

Kabuto paused and looked down at the report. "I'll pass it on to Orochitama-sama when she gets back." He stated before writing a note on the report that the head scientist needed heavy amounts of supervision in her human testing.

Kabuto also returned to his own research. He wasn't sure why Orochitama would want to have LESS control over the Edo Tensei summons, but working the theory was proving more and more that the act should be easy.

Kimimaro's sickness was proving far more difficult. It was like the marrow in the bones was fighting against him, producing blood that the body regarded as an enemy. It wasn't a simple case of something needing healing or a virus needing to be purged. The body was fighting itself.

There was the possibility of immune suppressants but that ran the risk of-

"Kabuto-sama. I want to file a request." The dusty scientist from earlier said from his door.

Kabuto slowly looked up from his research notes and pushed his glasses up his nose. As he very calmly asked, "Is it a request for human test subjects?"

"Yeah! I hear you approved someone else's request, so with my recent success I figured-"

"Get out."

Word was getting out that he approved a case for human testing. Meaning many would be trying to get their own projects approved for it. Kabuto deeply hoped that Orochitama came home soon. He understood why she was so insistent on leaving.
-

"It's nice to get out and visit the ocean." I said with a stretch of my arms and a deep breath of salty air.

"It...is nice." Kidomaru stated reluctantly.

Of all of my bodyguards Kidomaru was the one who seemed most resistant to my changes, and clearly had the most doubts on me actually being his boss. Which was respectable in it's own way. It meant he had loyalty and a good enough sense to know that I was not the same person I was before.

All the more reason to keep him on team Orochitama.

"We're not going to talk about are feelings are we? Cause, if so, I'm fucking gone."

Tayuya, on the other hand, had no problems at all accepting me as boss and would probably follow me for as long I was stronger than her and could help her gain power. She was also the first to realize that I wasn't so strict on the showing of respect.

Though Orochimaru wasn't huge on the respect thing. He more just liked having an excuse to kill people and strike fear into his subordinates hearts.

"No Tayuya-chan. We don't have to talk about our feelings." I confirmed, "But do keep an open mind about it. It's not healthy to bottle everything up."

Tayuya looked at me like I'd placed my pants on my head and announced I was queen of the universe.

Apparently your superiors telling you to talk about your problems was uncommon in the ninja world. Which really went a long way to explaining all of its...everything.

"Kidomaru-kun, what have you decided to do for keeping the ships in port?" I asked

Despite my attempts to stay informal Kidomaru snapped to attention. "I did some digging. There are local legends about a monstrous crab named Takashi. It's shell is said to be colored gold. With my golden web and and a few of my spider summons I could probably make some sailors think the ocean spirits want them to stay in port."

I gave a nod of agreement. Local legend or not. I'd stay in port if a giant gold sea spider was climbing up onto ships.

"Tayuya? Any more word on Gato?"

"For one, the midget hates ninja. A lot. If he's got ninja backers, it's not by choice. Or they just offered him too much money."

"Hm. So do you think pissing him off or scaring him is the best option for getting him to run for help?" I asked, the two options were pretty interconnected though. And things that scare men like Gato usually made them mad too.

"I'd go angry. He's a spiteful one." Tayuya confirmed.

"Anger it is. Keep tabs on him. Do as many small things showing interference as you can. But do it in a way that doesn't seem dangerous. If he gets too scared he might just try to run instead."

"Sure. So break out the laxatives and have his men see some spooky shit. But keep anything away from him personally." Tayuya concluded.

"Sounds about correct." I agreed. "Try not to have anything blow back on the civilians. We want their good will when this done."

"Why?" Kidomaru asked, "Why does their good will matter? They are civilians. They can't do anything anyways."

I stopped myself from giving any sort of response based on morals. "Civilians may not be able to harm us, but they can be a pain in the ass. It's far better to have them be useful. If they are happy they won't complain when we do stuff like charge them taxes, have them build buildings, or farm our food. A happy people are a people not planning to betray us to our enemies."

Kidomaru gave that some thought. It appears I was challenging the man's world views.

"You both did well. I got to Gato's documents. Whoever is supplying him with ninja tools is distributing from a port in Lightning. So it might be Cloud." I said.

"Makes sense. Cloud is the nation most ready to start a war right now. They could be using things to try and muscle into Mist." Tayuya commented.

"Yes. Though beware that it could be anyone with port access." I warned, "I glanced through his employee files as well. I haven't managed to find anyone Gato has as a second in command. All the files in his office were dock workers and his thugs."

"Your plan kinda hinges on finding his second in command. Any plans for that boss?" Tayuya asked.

"I suppose I could try and get close to him. Get him to talk." I said with a grimace.

"Ah...yeah, not likely there boss lady." Tayuya said with a shake of her head, "You are a little old for his tastes."

I looked down at myself. "I look like I'm in my late twenties."

"Yeah. And Gato apparently doesn't touch any girl over twenty-one."

"How young is his preference?" My voice kind but layered in killing intent.

"Oh. No not that bad." Tayuya stated, "I mean, he's a fucking monster, but he seems to still want them to be adults."

I suppressed a scowl. Adult in this world, for civilians, was still only sixteen.

Still, someone getting close to him was probably a good idea. I looked considerately at Tayuya for a moment. Then dismissed the thought. A henge should work fine.

"Find out his likes Tayuya. Hair length. Eye-color. The works. This isn't something I want to do more than once." I ordered.

"Sure. I know the guys he sends to look for girls. I'll put up a disguise near them." Tayuya nodded her head.

"In the meantime, I have dinner plans." I said brightly.
-

Hatake Kakashi had not had a very restful day. He lay there exhausted yet unable to sleep. His mind racing as he could only think on Orochitama's words. One of his teammates was still alive. Unless Orochitama was just saying things to get under his skin one of his two teammates was alive. Damned if he could figure out which one though.

He'd shoved his arm through Rin's chest and Obito was so crushed not even Tsunade would have been able to keep him alive. Both seemed impossible to have survived.

Kakashi also wasn't a fool. If one of them were alive they had either gone through hell in the last few years or didn't want to come home at all for some reason or another. He wasn't sure which option he liked less. Though based on their last interaction, it might truly be just a game to Orochitama. It was so hard to see what was real and what was fake around the pale enigma.

He was just thankful that the Snake Sannin probably had no plans to stick around.

A knock came from the door. Kakashi's body screamed at him as he stood up and traveled to the door. The sound of the door opening showed that Tsunami reached it first.

He mentally made a note to speak with her about security.

Then he felt the chakra. His eyes widened.

"Ara ara. Tsunami-chan. As lovely as ever. I thought you might enjoy a nice dinner. I brought some wagyu beef."

"Oh god, why?" Kakashi gasped.

"Hello Kakashi-kun~" the voice of Evil herself said, "You really should be resting."

"Why are you here?" His voice did not crack like a teenager.

"Dinner." The woman said, gesturing to a basket of food. "Plus I'm going to be making a soup for you. Something to help with the chakra exhaustion. Since you'd only eat it if I made it in front of you I figured I might as well bring dinner for all your students too."

That couldn't be it. Unless her goals needed him to beat Zabuza. Though he wasn't sure what that would get the woman. Plus she kept coming with all of these luxury goods for food. No one brought those on missions. The only likely place for someone to get these would be from-

"Are you feeding us food you stole from Gato?" He asked incredulously.

"Kakashi-san, that's not very-" Tsunami began.

"Of course I did." Orochitama replied, "I don't exactly keep caviar and wagyu beef on me."

Tsunami looked at Orochitama in shock.

"Why would you do that?" Tsunami asked.

"I told you. Gato has a ninja backer. I need him to run for help without getting him so spooked that he just runs. That means inconveniencing Gato's life in hundreds of small petty ways every day."

"Petty ways?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. Petty. Like stealing all his toilet-paper. Removing the bookmarks from his books. Steal his food an hour before his meal time. Put ginger in his soap. Small things." Orochitama admitted freely.

Kakashi found a new mission in life. This woman could not be allowed to spend time alone with Naruto.

"Oh. Well...I guess it's okay if it's Gato." Tsunami finally decided. "You are welcome to join us for a meal any time. It's nice have another woman around."

"Oh, I can show you all kinds of benefits to having another woman around." Orochitama replied with wagging eyebrows.

Tsunami clearly knew the eyebrows were meant to signify something as an innuendo or joke, but was also clearly confused on what she thought was a joke.

Kakashi could at least comfort himself with the fact that he could at least laugh while he trembled in fear.

"Here. Make sure I'm not poisoning you." Orochitama said as she handed over a basket of roots and vegetables. Kakashi carefully picked through the basket, feeling for any needle marks, smelling for anything out of place, and looking for any sort of oils that may have been applied.

It probably wasn't poisoned. Orochitama could just kill him at her leisure. But if a ninja just ate something that a known enemy gave them without checking it for poison then that ninja probably deserved to die.

"You're stealing from Gato." A young voice said. The child in the household looked up at one of the most dangerous people in the world and gave a grumpy, "You're going to get people killed."

Orochitama turned to give the child sad eyes. "Yes. I am. People are going to die."

"Orochitama!" Tsunami gasped in shock.

"It's true." Orochitama said with a shake of her head. "Gato is a monster that jumps to death as a solution for all his woes. I won't say more if it upsets you, Tsunami-chan, but I don't want to lie to your son either."

Kakashi watched in curiosity. The woman was either a hell of an actress or she actually felt something for these two. If she was just here to mess with people it served no purpose to be honest and talk with a child like this. They were civilians. They didn't really matter.

"I-" Tsunami hesitated, "I know. But I don't want him to-"

"I get it." Orochitama said, "I'll stop. But pretending something didn't happen can hurt your son just as quickly."

Conflict stormed on Tsunami's face.

"She's right." Kakashi reluctantly said. It wasn't his business, but a tired man with a face so much like Kakashi's own who insisted on not speaking about his pain wouldn't let him say nothing. "Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds can grow infected and fester."

Tsunami glanced at her son, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Go hold your son for a bit, Tsunami-chan. I'll start on dinner." Orochitama stated.

As the pale woman moved to the kitchen and his host went to another room with her son, Kakashi found himself reconsidering things. If this was all an act, the act wasn't intended just to hurt them. Everything being done was to show a kind, gentle, and giving soul. It was the act of someone trying to show they could be trusted. Not just by them. This was long term. For the people of Wave, and for Konoha. If it was just about getting one of his genin she would have gotten to them. They were young enough to be made loyal with enough unsavory methods. She didn't do all that. She came to where he was to act kind. Near the jounin. The one that represents Konoha.

Orochitama was trying to establish a peaceful relationship with Konoha. Giving intel. Providing mission support. Showing care. Or at least wanting them to believe that.

This probably wasn't just about a single goal in Wave. She doubtlessly was going to be here anyway, but was coming here specifically to speak with him. Which would go in mission reports. Which the Hokage would read.

"I need a drink." Kakashi concluded.

"Ara ara, that's bad for Chakra exhaustion."

This was going to be a long road to recovery.

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Chapter Text

"I'm definitely getting higher up the tree than you, ttebayo."

"You wish. I still have a solid meter on you." The smug bastard responded, trying to hide the fact that he was short of breath.

"Are not. I got to the fourth branch up. You were only on the third." Naruto argued back.

"On a different tree. Not all trees grow branches in the same way. That's not how trees work dumbass."

That was probably true, but there's no way Naruto would admit to that. Sasuke had a big enough head that he didn't need Naruto giving him any ideas.

"Yeah, well, I spent most of my time using up my chakra beforehand. You were practicing longer." Naruto said with a sniff.

"What ever you need to say to make yourself feel better." Sasuke said as he tried to pull a little ahead.

"So, ya think we'll see Orochi Lady for dinner tonight too?" Naruto asked as he stepped forward to be just slightly ahead of Sasuke.

Instead of trying to run ahead, Sasuke stopped in his tracks.

"Why would you think she's coming back?" Saskue asked in disbeleif.

"Oh. Well she seemed like she was having a lot of fun this morning, so she'd probably come back, right?"

Sasuke scoffed, and Naruto was proud of himself that he didn't just slug him right then.

"Naruto. You know that lady's dangerous, right?" Sasuke asked in disbelief.

"Eh? How's she dangerous?" After all, the woman brought them food and helped teach them. Plus she was pretty and wore a frilly dress. How could she be dangerous?

"Kakashi is afraid of her." Sasuke said. "If he's afraid, we should be too."

"What? No way Kakashi-sensei is afraid of that lady." Naruto said dismissively.

"Just because she doesn't seem dangerous doesn't mean she isn't. It's the people that can make you trust them that are the most dangerous. Don't let your guard down around her."

Naruto came up short. His teammate sounded super serious. Which made him rethink things. Naruto could admit to maybe possibly not being the most observant person around and there was possibly maybe some merit to listening to Sasuke's advice a little bit. A ninja should always be prepared anyways.

"Fine." Naruto concluded, "But if we make it through this whole mission and she doesn't try to do something you'll treat me at Ichiraku after the mission!"

"Seriously? If she tries something we'll die."

"Psh. Right. Sure. Maybe she'll kill us with her hairbrush or her hair ribbon." Naruto scoffed. The lady didn't even carry any weapons on her.

"Then if I win you clean up after team practice every day for a week when we get back." Sasuke scoffed. "Maybe that will at least make you take this seriously."

Ha. Bastard probably thought he was getting the better end of that deal, but he'd never seen how much Ichiraku Naruto could put away!

"Deal! Also, last one back to the house is a loser." Naruto yelled over his shoulder as he ran. Sasuke only a moment behind.

Sasuke was gaining on him. Shockingly fast. Naruto let out a squawk of surprise. A manly manly squawk. Sasuke hadn't ever been that fast before.

Then Naruto noticed the hole in the ground the bastard had left behind. It was just like the trees!

Naruto pumped chakra into his feet, pushing his energy out of his foot when he went to take a step, rocketing him forward, and just barely letting him keep his lead.

As they approached the house, Sasuke began to slow. Naruto grinned at his victory as the house rapidly grew closer. "Ha! Victory is- wait. How do I stop?"
-

I was putting the last touches on Kakashi's soup when I felt Naruto and Sasuke drawing close. Then there was a loud bang on the side of the house followed shortly after by a splash of water. A second later the door opened to reveal a very calm looking Sasuke.

Or at least he was calm until he saw me.

"Hey Sasuke-kun. Dinner is almost ready." I greeted. "Tazuna-san should be here soon too."

The soaked and grumpy kitten that was Naruto clambered up onto the bridge leading to the house. "I totally meant to do that."

"Ara ara, Naruto. You're soaked." I said with a shake of my head. "Go get washed off, and dried, the both of you. You smell like sweaty boy."

"Oh hey! Orochi Lady! See Sasuke. I told ya she'd be here." Naruto said while elbowing his teammate.

Meanwhile his sullen teammate glared at me. Sasuke, of all the genin, seemed to take my presence as a much more imminent threat. Though he lacked Kakashi's experience to be able to tell just how much of a threat I was other than just "very dangerous".

"Hey! Hey! Did you bring food again? Is it ramen? It's been forever since I've had ramen."

Naruto clearly did not take me as a serious threat. Despite his teacher and teammate both telling him that he should probably be threatened by me. It left me wondering how exactly he managed to survive as a ninja.

Super human regenerative ability probably had a lot to do with it.

"No ramen. Just ludicrously expensive beef and rice." I replied as I began spooning soup into a bowl. "Here Kakashi-kun. Your soup."

"Why are you here again?" Sasuke asked.

"Well I had so much fun this morning, I couldn't turn down showing up again for dinner." I said, which for some reason made Naruto give a cry of triumph.

"Kakashi-kun. Kindly send your minions to take a bath. That isn't a smell I think any of us want at the dinner table."

The two genin looked over to Kakashi who heaved a sigh before nodding. "Go on. Make it fast. And keep an eye out."

I took a moment to marvel at the fact that Kakashi was still slipping in warnings to pay attention. It's cute that he feels it necessary.

The two reluctantly leave the room. Naruto heads straight to the bath, though I notice Sasuke taking a quick patrol around the property, apparently looking for any other backup I might have brought with me.

"Which one were you saying is alive?" Kakashi asked.

It wasn't hard for me to guess at what the man was referring too. The man probably hadn't stopped thinking about it since I'd told him one of his teammates is alive. He was probably trying to catch me off guard with the sudden question too. A frequent tactic in interrogation.

"Obito." I answered truthfully.

I couldn't tell if I had done anything to help him with the statement. Kakashi himself probably didn't know either. The man was probably shoving the information into a little box in the corner of his mind to actually feel emotional about later.

He was a consummate professional.

"Do you have him? Were you the one who saved him." Kakashi asked.

I took out some butter and threw it into a hot pan on-top of the stove. I spoke over it's sizzle. "No. I only found out in the last three months."

It was sort of true. I had only been in this world for three months and this body I'm inhabiting didn't know until then.

"Who has him?" Kakashi asked. Voice filled with steel.

"No one." I replied, throwing a steak into the pan. "He's free. Well...he's free to come and go where he wishes. I don't imagine he feels very free."

Kakashi was silent. I let the silence go on. I knew he'd need a while to mull over that response. The only sounds in the kitchen was the sizzle of the hot pan and crackle and popping of meat.

"How would I find him?"

I smiled, my back to the Konoha nin. It was the question I had been waiting for.

"Akatsuki." I replied. "A group of S-rank missing nin from various hidden villages. Probably the most powerful collection of ninja on the continent. Powerful enough that half their numbers could single-handedly take on an entire hidden village."

I could practically feel the ninja behind me tense. After all, I doubt the man had expected the day to include secrets that could shake the foundation of the entire Elemental Nations.

"How do you know this? If this is some great conspiracy, how do you know it?"

"Ara ara, that's simple." I replied as I flipped the meat, steam rose in the air with a renewed sizzling. "I was a member up until three months ago."

I had once again made the man silent. Clearly thinking on the implications. Three months had also been when I'd said I found out about Obito. That by itself hinted at many possibilities. I'm sure the jounin wanted nothing more than to throw me into an interrogation cell and have me give answers far more specific and comprehensive than the cryptic half answers I was currently giving. Instead I was merely giving him small pieces of a large puzzle and letting him figure out what the puzzle said.

"That's why you're here. That's why you're reaching out. You ticked off these people and you need help beating them now."

Cheeky little brat.

"Well done." I replied then after a beat continued, "Medium, Medium Rare, or Rare?"

I turned around, one prepared steak laid to the side as I turned to look at Kakashi. The man's face was alternating between anger, fear, and accusation. I gave my best charming smile.

"I'll just make you a medium. You strike me as the kind that doesn't like things bloody."

Kakashi flinched and I went back to the stove, throwing on another steak. The kitchen again filling only with the sounds of fire and burning flesh.

It took longer than previously for Kakashi to speak up.

"What do they want? What's Akatsuki's goal?"

"Dangerous information, that." I responded. "I'll answer...when the question comes from Naruto's godfather."

Kakashi's chair clattered to the floor as the man stood up from his seat.

"Is that a threat?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sit down, ya cripple. It's not a threat. Maybe I just miss my dear former teammate?"

"You-" He started to say before I cut him off.

"It would appear we are out of time."

The front door opened and Tazuna and Sakura walked into the room.

"Ara ara, Tazuna-san! Working awfully late tonight." I commented. The bridge builder stepped into the room and took a deep breath. While Sakura looked uncertainly to her teacher's fallen chair and to me. The girl's hand straying towards her weapons pouch.

"Sakura. Go wash off your hands and help Orochitama with the food." Kakashi said with a serene smile. The girl looked on uncertainly before giving a nod.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

"Tazuna, I also brought some Umeshu. Feel free to help yourself to some." I said as I gesture to the elaborate bottle on the counter. The man quickly pouring himself a glass.

"Thanks. Today was busy. We had ten more people join today. Well, rejoin. The food you gave me went a long way to getting people to want to work on the bridge again."

"Glad Tsunami-chan suggested it." I replied happily.

Tazuna glanced around with a frown. "Where is Tsunami?"

"She's spending some time with Inari in another room." I replied. "I'll call for her in a moment right when dinner is finished. Should only be a moment longer. How do you like your steak Tazuna-san? Rare?"

The man laughed, "I like it still mooing if I can get it!"

"Coming right up." I said happily as I grabbed another pan to fry some vegetables in. All the while Kakashi stared at me, a thousand questions burning in his gaze.

"Don't pout Kakashi. Can't give all the spoilers in the first act." I replied as I returned to cooking.
-

Haruno Sakura wasn't sure on how to feel about this Orochitama. The Shinobi Rule #64 clearly stated that any traitors should be dealt with as swiftly as possible. But if this woman was as strong as Kakashi-sensei had said then trying to do anything would get them killed.

Plus, more than that, the woman seemed...nice. She knew it was probably an act, but if the woman was doing good things she didn't really think it was necessary to do anything right now. No reason to interrupt someone helping people after all. Plus the woman seemed so much like what Sakura wanted to be. She smiled kindly, looked pretty, and was so strong she could scare even Kakashi-sensei. She'd never met someone like that before.

"Oh! Sakura-chan! You're back!" Naruto's voice suddenly yelled, making Sakura's mood immediately plummet.

She was beginning to realize that she might have been a little too...critical of Naruto, but the boy wasn't making liking him easy. He was loud, he often smelled, and he just wouldn't take no for an answer. Plus he constantly ignored her own feelings about how she actually DID like Sasuke.

"So I got way up the tree! I go farther than Sasuke now!" Naruto bragged, which immediately brought a scoff from the dark eyed member of their team.

"Dream on dumbass. I'm still meters ahead." Sasuke said while looking away from her. The boy's pale profile dignified even in the house's poor light.

"Ara ara, some competition is good, but don't go too far." Orochitama said, carrying a plates of food over to the table. "Remember your teammates' strength is your strength. Nothing beats the power of friendship."

"The power of friendship?" Sakura asked. She hadn't ever heard a ninja seriously suggest something like that before.

"Yes. Taking one person by surprise with the help of three other people goes a long way." Orochitama replied.

Sakura blinked for a moment. The advice actually was basically the same as what Kakashi gave for teamwork. She just seemed to say it differently.

"Ha! You guys should be glad to have a super cool ninja like me." Naruto said while making sloppy punches in the air.

"W-well I am glad be on a team with Sasuke-kun in it."

"Alright. All three of you. You can cut that shit out right there." Orochitama said with a shake of her head.

"Huh?" Sakura asked in surprise.

"Naruto-kun. You are an asset to the team. But you can't do everything by yourself. It would have been better then to brag about how good your teammates are. Strong people don't need to tell others they're strong. Their reputation proceeds them. Strong people brag about their allies." Orochitama said before rounding on Sakura, "And Sakura-chan, your team is more than Sasuke-kun. Naruto-kun is also a major asset to your team. Putting everything on Sasuke's shoulders isn't fair."

Sakura found herself blushing. She knew what the older woman said was true. She depended too much on Sasuke. The last battle at the lake with Zabuza really showed that she didn't have much to contribute. She couldn't just assume she'd be fine just because Sasuke was on her team.

Kakashi had been asking after missions what it was she wanted to do in her ninja career. He'd asked her what sort of role she saw herself filling in the team.

She still had no idea how to answer that.

"Your team has great potential. You probably remind more than one person of my old team from when I was a genin. But you each need to grow into your own. Of the three of you only Sasuke seems to have a good picture of what sort of shinobi he wants to be." Orochitama said as she poured herself a cup of the sake she'd told Tazuna about earlier. "Ask for your sensei's help on things. That's what he's there for. To guide you. If you ask him what you should work on he'll tell you. If you don't know how to work on those things then ask him how to improve. You're ninja now. No one is going to hold your hand and walk you to ultimate power with step by step instructions."

Sakura all at once realized she'd never once asked Kakashi-sensei what he thought she should do. She never once asked for what she should improve on. Never before asked for a training exercise, and even after she completed the tree-walking exercise so easily she didn't ask for another one.

None of her teammates asked questions like that. Sasuke usually went off to do his own training. Naruto would ask for a cool ninjutsu but would stop whenever Kakashi suggested another exercise. Now that it was pointed out to her Sakura suddenly felt pity for their instructor.

"Yeah, but Kakashi-sensei never teaches me any cool ninjutsu. I ask all the time!" Naruto wined.

"Mhm. And Kakashi-kun, how do you respond?"

Sakura looked to their sensei and found the man slouched in a bizarre mix of exhaustion and vindication. "Generally I suggest the leaf sticking exercise or for him to practice his taijutsu forms."

Orochitama put one hand to her chin before giving a nod. "Yeah. Good advice. I'd suggest the same thing too."

"Huh? But I could just learn some cool ninjutsu and then I'd be way stronger!" Naruto said.

"What's a leaf exercise?" Tazuna asked a blush on his face and liquor on his breath.

"A chakra control exercise." Sakura responded, "You get the leaf to stick to your head with just your chakra."

"Sounds dumb." Tazuna slurred before taking another swig.

"Right!?" Naruto asked.

"Agreeing with the drunk civilian doesn't help you, moron." Sasuke spoke up.

"Leaving the fact that two people with much more experience and power than you are advising you to do this and you are still complaining about it," Orochitama said with a disapproving look, "You can at least understand that if you got even just a bit better at taijutsu it raises your threat exponentially when combined with Kage Bunshin. The most useful of clone ninjutsu."

"Oh. Well. Yeah. But I train my taijutsu. I beat up dummies all the time."

Sakura blinked. That was his definition of taijutsu training?

"Naruto. Is that what you've been doing when you said you were practicing your taijutsu forms?" Kakashi asked in disbelief.

"Well yeah."

Sakura herself could hardly believe it. While practicing on a dummy is an important part of taijutsu training, it's considered the last step after spending time running through form until you have perfected it.

"Well that explains a lot." Orochitama sighed, "Still. The very nature of you making so many clones allows for more benefit. Of all clones to be able to mass produce, shadow clones are the most useful."

"They are?" Sakura asked.

"Yes." Orochitama nodded. "Water clones are low cost but only have one tenth of the original's strength. Mud clones are sturdier than other clones but can't preform ninjutsu. Blood clones require you to have blood on hand. Pretty much all of the rest don't think for themselves and make you micromanage them."

Sakura mentally took note of that factoid.

"You should ask your sensei about what other things Kage Bunshin can do too." Orochitama said. "Remember, your sensei is around here to help you grow stronger. Listen to others' wisdom."

"Oh! Is dinner ready?" Tsunami's voice came from the doorway.

"I was just about to call you, Tsunami-chan." Orochitama's tone suddenly dripping with honey, "Please, do come and have put some of my meat in your mouth."

Sakura suddenly started to rethink her respect of the mysterious ninja.

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Chapter Text

Gato was having a really shitty day.

First off, every time he went to have a meal, the cooks reported that someone stole his food right from the kitchen. That led to him now needing to find some replacement cooks. It probably wasn't the last one's fault it happened but failure just couldn't be allowed.

Gato also hadn't been able to sleep all night. Ever time he was about to fall asleep a harsh shrill, like flute played off key, screeched so loudly it had him jumping out of his skin.

After he had decided to just get up for the day, he went to take a bath and somehow his soap made all of his...sensitive bits burn like it was on fire, and now it wouldn't stop itching.

Then every single pair of pants he tried on suddenly got a split in the back when he put them on.

It was so early in the morning that the sun hadn't risen yet and most of his staff weren't awake. The only people around were the guards and some of his people that would relay orders and occurrences with the docks.

His hair was still a mess and greasy because he didn't trust his shampoo or his brushes. He also replaced all his toilet paper with the stuff from the general employee bathrooms.

So he went down to the kitchens himself, for the first damn time in years, and cooked his own breakfast of bacon and eggs. He didn't trust anyone else making it.

Then, with bloodshot eyes, rumpled hair, and pants that had a half-assed sewing job, he began to take a bite of his slightly burnt breakfast. Then a runner came into the room.

"Gato-sama!"

"What!? What do you want!? If this is about the soldiers saying they are seeing giant crabs again, I swear I will hang you on a tree and have you whipped!"

"No...it's about one of our ships. It was attacked when it tried to leave port. It's rudder and sail were completely destroyed." The runner said nervously.

Gato's eyes narrowed. They were interfering with his business now too?

"Who did it? What happened?"

The runner made a slight choking sound and mumbled incoherently.

"What? Speak up!"

"It was...uh...done by giant gold crabs."

It was ninja. It had to be. They were using illusions or something to make it look like the silly local legend was doing this.

"How is the cargo? Did it get damaged?" Gato growled. A single lost shipment could lose him more money than he could make up for with dozens of other shipments.

"No. All the cargo was completely untouched, minus a crate of produce that got knocked into the ocean." The runner promised.

The ninja were trying to leave his product alone? That meant they didn't want to destroy his business. That was something he could use.

"Tell the men to get the ship back into port for repairs. But first go get my guards. Looks like I need to have a talk with my own pet ninja." Gato stood up, leaving behind his plate of uneaten food.

It tasted like shit anyways.

He had three guards quickly catch up with him as he left the dinning room. He marched his way up to the door for the waste of money inside.

Zabuza was in the same position he'd left him. Laying flat on his back while the masked woman watched over him.

"Zabuza. You need to fix my problem."

The supposed Demon of the Mist looked up at him from his place on the bed. "I'll have the bridge builder's head for you, as soon as I recover. Only a few more days-"

"I don't care about that shit right now." Gato interrupted. "Someone has been in my room. Stolen my food. Damaged my clothes. Messed with my shit! And now they are stopping my shipments! If I'm hiring you, you are going to fix this!"

The ninja stared at him for a moment before letting out a low chuckle.

"Oh no. Not for all your money. I was hired to kill a target, and I'll do that, but I'm not taking a new contract from you right now."

Gato felt his face burn. He couldn't believe the impudence of the the stray dog. "How dare you! I'll give you money. That's all your lot cares about. You WILL do this!"

Zabuza gave him a flat stare. "No. I don't like the odds."

Gato grit his teeth. How dare this useless piece of shit refuse! He was under Gato's employ right now! Gato took his cane and took a step forward to show the cripple what refusing him got someone.

However instead of being able to swing down his cane, he found his hand in a cold vice. The masked woman had somehow moved across the room without him noticing and grabbed his arm, the pressure was enough to make Gato cry out in pain as his bones creaked in complaint.

"Haku. Enough." Zabuza ordered.

The bitch immediately released his arm and backed off. Gato cradled the arm to his chest, and for just a moment, he swore he could hear his fathers drunken laughter.

"I'll still honor our contract, Gato. But you aren't the only person willing to pay ninja to get rid of their problems. If you wish to renegotiate our contract, I'm more than happy to just cancel it."

Gato grit his teeth. He didn't want that. The bridge builder did need to be taken out. He was giving people ideas. No sense in trying to hire someone else for this. Besides, the two ninja might just kill each other and he wouldn't have to pay anything more.

"Fine. But if you fail again I'll have my men kill you themselves." Gato growled and stomped out of the room.

He was loath to contact another ninja to come in and deal with his problems, but he just couldn't keep living like this. He marched back to the dinning room to at least finish off the bacon, only to find the plate empty with a note on it saying "You're a shit cook. Also, seasonings are a thing."
-

I felt confident that Gato was close to breaking and asking for backup. Which, if that was the case, meant I'd need to find the closest thing the man had to a second in command quickly. Onece Gato called for reinforcements things would probably unravel rapidly.

Tayuya had apparently been waking the man up all night long and reported earlier that morning that he didn't have a breakfast worth stealing. So I left a note on Tazuna's door letting him know I wouldn't be bringing breakfast that morning. Instead I went to check up on my other subordinate.

I found him perched on top of a cliff that overlooked both the ocean and Gato's docks. The docks only visible if one was comfortable leaning over the edge of the cliff, making it a great place to keep an eye on the port.

"Kidomaru-kun. Anything new?" I asked.

Kidomaru turned and gave me a brief nod of acknowledgment before turning back to peak over the cliff side as he spoke, "After the first ship came back into port the sailors were panicked, but I did manage to find one guy that immediately ran to check on the warehouse you said to keep an eye on. So we at least know who Gato's guy on the docks is that deals with the ninja stuff."

I gave a hum of acknowledgment. That was good news. If I couldn't find out who Gato's right hand was from the big boss himself, I'd have to find out from his subordinates.

It shouldn't be this hard to find out the command structure of a business. It's amazing Gato made any money.

"How did your spiders take the water and your gold web all over them?" I asked as I sat down, sticking my legs off to the side and tucking one end of my dress under the leg.

"Not great. They are going to want a lot of food to make up for this." Kidomaru said, face pinched.

"I'll make sure they get it." I promised.

We lapsed into silence. Kidomaru kept glancing back at me to see if I was still there before going back to gazing over the edge of the cliff. What ever was going on in the docks was also surely not so important he needed to keep a constant eye on it.

Kidomaru was uncomfortable with me. He was one of the ones that was loyal to Orochimaru himself, and not the power or the fear. He didn't like my sudden change of character, clearly. When Orochimaru found him he was from a hidden village that had been wiped out. The Village Hidden in Caves was no more.

I suppressed the part of my mind that whispered that's what happens when your entire village is underground and can be completely gotten rid of with one cave in. They were still people and they still all died. It had a great impact on Kidomaru, who found himself without kin and home. And of course Orochimaru was more than happy to swoop in and act as the savior.

"Kidomaru-kun. What do you want in life?" I asked.

The spider summoner looked up at me in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"What do you want in life? Do you want power? Food? Prestige? Love? Knowledge?" I asked.

"I want to live in service to you, Orochimaru-sama." He responded.

"That's flattering. I appreciate that. Really. But what do you want besides that? And if you want to serve me, why? Don't say anything about me in your response. Why is it that you want to serve me?"

"I just...want to be part of something great." Kidomaru replied. "There are so many powers and villages that don't make any impact on the world. I know that by serving you, I'll be a part of history making events."

As far as reason went that wasn't a bad one. Though reading into more I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted his mark made on the world. He wanted to a part of something that would be in history books, so that even when he finally died, something he contributed to would be around forever. It was no different than the drive for many an artist and scientist. Hell, a bunch of a religions started from just wanting to be a part of something greater. But I had one worry.

"Will that make you happy?"

My subordinate's eyebrow rose and he gave a profound, "Huh?"

Apparently not many ninja bosses ask if the fanatical loyalty of their minions will make their underlings happy.

"There are many ways to be a part of something greater Kidomaru-kun. There are those that become monks and gain enlightenment. You can become an artist and make a work of art that will be talked about for ages. Or you could start a family, and have a bit of you live on for however long humanity lasts as your line continues through time." I promised, "There are many ways to leave a lasting mark on the world."

Kidomaru let out a snort. "Me? A monk? Or a father?"

"If you want." I stated. "I'm confident you could be a great one if you pursued it. A great artist too. Your webs can be a beautiful sight to behold."

"Are you trying to make me quit?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course not. You are one of my best men. I just want you to be happy. Your goals to be accomplished. I'm not making you follow me. I just want you to know I appreciate you, and all my ninja. I want all of you to be able to accomplish everything in life that you set out to do."

"I...thank you Orochitama-sama. But I'll be fine serving you. If I die in your service, I will have no complaints." Kidomaru said before glancing out again. "Someone went into that factory. I'm going to see what they are doing."

He leapt away.

"I'd have complaints." I mumbled.

I heaved a sigh and resigned myself to the fact that I can't change a person's entire world view in a day. I gave him enough to think on for now.

Besides, for the first time, he didn't hesitate to call me Orochitama. I'll take the win where I can. I rose to stand up and began walking back into the heart of the island. I had a barbecue to prepare for.
-

Sasuke took deep breaths, wiping one hand across his face, removing the dripping sweat. His progress and been constant since he began. Each attempt got him just a little bit further than the last.

"One more time!" Naruto yelled before making a dead run at his tree rapidly gaining altitude before he slashed a mark and fell off the tree. Said mark was almost a meter higher than the last one, though the last one had almost a dozen notches all clustered together.

Naruto was rapidly gaining on him in massive spurts of improvement.

Just a few months ago, Naruto had been a loser. So far beneath him that the blond could be handled in seconds.

And he was gaining on Sasuke. How little must he be improving that Naruto, of all people, was catching up with him?

"Ara Ara. You two have improved so much!" A familiar voice called.

Sasuke tensed and turned to look at the woman approaching. She, for once, wasn't wearing a dress, but instead a pair of dingy black pants and a ratty brown shirt topped with a black apron. She was also pulling a boar that was almost as tall as she was behind her. The boar clearly dead from a single puncture wound in the middle of it's forehead. Possibly the cleanest kill Sasuke had ever seen.

"Orochi Lady! Hey! Look look! I'm totally catching up with Sasuke!" Naruto cheered.

"You are." Orochitama acknowledged, "That's impressive. Especially since Sasuke-kun's improvement would be considered genius worthy by itself."

Sasuke scoffed. Itachi had done this by the time he was eight.

Orochitama produced a rope from somewhere, he wasn't sure where. Perhaps under the apron there was a storage seal? She then threw the rope over a branch and began tying one end of it to the bore's back legs.

"Ha! Cause I'm a genius too! By the time I'm done I'll kick that Zabuza's ass myself!" Naruto bragged.

"I don't think you are going to be quite on his level for a little longer Naruto-kun." Orochitama said before picking up the other side of the rope and began heaving the boar to hang in the air.

"Idiot. That monster would still slaughter you." Sasuke scoffed. There was no way, even teamed up, that they could take Zabuza themselves. Not yet.

"Wha- Sasuke! We totally took him that last time!" Naruto complained.

"No, he's right." Orochitama said as she tied the rope to the tree. "Zabuza could take you both pretty easily. Though calling him a monster is a bit unfair."

"He's trying to kill Tazuna! And he works for Gato!" Naruto objected.

That hadn't quite been what Sasuke meant when he called Zabuza a monster, but he was inclined to agree with Naruto. Zabuza was clearly not a nice person.

"Yes. He is a man who was hired for a job. And if you think that Kakashi-kun hasn't worked for people just as terrible as Gato then you will be in for a very rude surprise as you get older."

"What? Kakashi-sensei would never do something like that!" Naruto objected.

Sasuke kept silent. Konoha had a reputation for not taking distasteful missions. They marketed themselves as the village that civilians shouldn't be afraid of. However, Sasuke was also very confident that if the money was right all kind of things would be done very quietly.

"He has. But that's okay. Well...not okay. Normal maybe?" The woman seemed to consider for a moment. "Yeah. Normal works. But you shouldn't demonize your opponents. Always remember that who you are fighting is another person with the own reason for being there."

"Please. Some aren't people. Some are just fighting for the power and bloodshed." Sasuke said without doubt. He knew there was a darkness in many people's hearts and there were people out there that would kill their own friends and family for power of it. For the fun of it.

Sasuke glared at the woman, daring her to contradict what he said.

"Yes. There are people like that." Orochitama confirmed, though continued, "But even then they often have their reasons. People aren't generally born monsters, Sasuke-kun. They're made."

Sasuke wanted to dismiss the words, but there was a kernel of truth in it that he couldn't shake the feeling of. He didn't want to believe it, but his mind whispered that it would explain so much about That Man. Sasuke looked away, seeing Naruto's face that also looked troubled.

"So you're saying someone can make someone else a monster?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was abruptly reminded of the look in his teammates eyes when he was alone. When Naruto thought no one was watching and he got lost in his own world. There was a darkness that would frighten Sasuke if it wasn't so familiar.

Sasuke wondered what Naruto knew of monsters.

"I wouldn't say make. People always have a choice." Orochitama said as she placed a large bin on the ground underneath the boar. "However you would be surprised about how many saints are just one big push from being monsters, and what scum bags have codes of honor that even gods can't break. People are what they make themselves. But they are also very much colored by their environment."

"Colored how?" Sasuke asked.

"All kinds of ways. Pressure from superiors. Parents that didn't show their love. Loyalty to a cause that isn't so nice. Panic, fear, and hatred. All of these can turn a well meaning person to the most bloodied of murderers.."

Sasuke wondered why she maintained eye contact with him the entire time she said that. Except for the brief moment her eyes flicked to Naruto, when she mentioned hatred.

"And what makes it where you know so much about monsters." Sasuke shot back. Suddenly finding himself very uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Simple, Sasuke-kun." The woman pulled out a knife and drove into the belly of the boar and ripped it up the side, spilling blood and intestines into the bin she'd placed under the creature. "Up until three months ago, I was one."

Sasuke's mind came to a halt.

"Huh? No way. Not you." Naruto said with a shake of his head.

"No. It's true. Your sensei warned you about me. He was right to. I have done some very bad things. It took some...soul searching to really find myself changed." The woman said, as if she was telling a joke.

Sasuke turned away. He didn't care to hear about redemption. People didn't change. Plus the air had become uncomfortably thick with the stench of blood. Sasuke ripped his mind away from where it had been going and set at this tree again.

He didn't have time for whatever manipulations the woman was trying to make. He needed to get stronger.

Nothing else mattered. He wouldn't allow himself to get distracted by unimportant things.

"Naruto! Wanna learn how to skin and bleed a boar to get it ready for cooking?"

"Uh...do I have to?" His teammate complained but walked closer anyways.

Perfect. It allowed time for Sasuke to secure his lead more.

Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Chapter Text

I just finished being a distraction to Naruto and Sasuke's training when I met again with my two underlings to discuss the unfolding problem we were having.

"I'm pretty sure Gato doesn't have a second in command." Tayuya said with a shake of her head. "He seems to assign people to be in charge of specific parts of the business but no one could be called his second in command. The midget doesn't trust anyone enough to put them in second in command."

I heaved a sigh. I was beginning to feel that way too. Not a great way to run a business but a great way to make sure your underlings didn't kill you. Hell, it wasn't until I brought in Kabuto that Oto could be considered to have anything resembling a second in command.

"Kidomaru. Do you agree?" I asked.

The four armed man gave a nod, "Yeah. The dock seems to work the same way. There isn't any one person who is in charge of the whole dock. Two guys are at the top and they seem to be in competition with each-other."

This made my plans more difficult. I had hoped to be able to take over the business wholesale. That didn't seem to able to happen. Any change in leadership I tried would be more likely to result in infighting as all the little people tried to make themselves the boss.

So if I couldn't steal the the company I'd have to settle for second prize.

I took out two scrolls and wrote a quick message, encoded in a basic cipher, I pressed a finger into a needle on my belt and used the blood to summon two snakes. The two snakes a stripped grey and black, Their bodies thin, even by snake standards, though they were both about a meter and a half long. The twin snakes were Nobutoshi and Shun. The two were often summoned as messengers.

"Take this scrolls to Sakon. Wait with him until you get a reply, then take whatever he gives you and deliver it to Otogakure." I ordered Nobutoshi. "Shun, you take this scroll to Oto ahead of him. Deliver to Kabuto."

"Payment?" Nobutoshi wheezed out.

"A whole pig should be available for you to bring back with both yourself and Shun." If Oto had one resource currently, it was dead pigs.

Shun and Nobutoshi exchanged glances, tongues flicking out.

"Acceptable." They finally stated before they both took their respective scrolls and swallowing them. Then the two snakes slithered away.

"So what's the new plan Boss Lady?" Tayuya asked.

"We need to find the location of all of Gato's warehouses and ships. Gather as many manifests and shipping schedules as you can find." I ordered. "Most importantly, we need to find where he keeps his cash."

"Tayuya smirked. "With how he's running shit he definitely has the cash somewhere nearby. At least most of it. I can give him a good reason to want to go count his money. I just need him to be suspicious of someone using it first."

"That shouldn't be hard to do." I said. Gato was absolutely the type that was constantly sure people were stealing from him.

"Okay. Here's the plan. Our jobs are going to be a bit easier if we insert ourselves into the organization. Kidomaru, take over the identity of one of the leaders of the dock. Tayuya, take over for whoever it is that finds Gato his girls, then take me in. I'm sure if you get me in as one of his conquests I can give him that last push we need to get him to run to his ninja backers."

My two subordinates gave a nod.

"Orochitama-sama." Kidomaru began. "You order no bloodshed without authorization. Do I have your permission to eliminate my target to better take over their identity?"

"Denied." I responded immediately. "We need to be able to question him about further information. Tie them up and stow them away somewhere."

Kidomaru and Tayuya restrain an unhappy look. Killing a target was always much easier than kidnapping and storing a target.

"In the meantime, Tayuya, I need you to inform me on all of Gato's tastes. Kidomaru, I need you go to the docks and see if you can find some jewlery. The most ostentatious and expensive looking jewelry you can find."

"Ah. Of course Orochitama-sama." Kidomaru said, catching onto my idea.

"Let's get it done. We'll start at night fall. Assuming no complications, our time in Wave should be over soon." I reassured. "Now, Tayuya, tell me about hair color."
-

Tsunami found herself delaying on making any sort of dinner. A small part of her mind whispered that Orochitama would just be coming by with some extravagant ingredient for dinner. She hadn't been told that the strange pale woman would be coming by again that day, but she had already dropped in for a surprise visit a few times. The female ninja was somewhat unpredictable.

Though it was getting late, she should probably start-

"Kakashi-sensei!" An excited voice yelled before her front door burst open. Admitting the ball of sunshine that was the smallest Konoha ninja. Tsunami found Naruto to be an adorable and well meaning child, and she often found herself worrying that boy seemed very...un-ninja-like.

"Naruto. This is someone's house. Don't burst in and don't yell." Kakashi said from his resting spot in the corner. The grey haired ninja always impressed her with his patience. He never raised his voice or yelled at any of the kids, even when they did things of...questionable intelligence.

"Oh. Sorry." He said before continuing at a volume more similar to a yell than the roar it was before. "But I skinned and undressed a boar! Orochi Lady came with a boar and had me take care of it! And then she took all the blood and stuff and gave me the boar inside this scroll! She also said that there is a box of fruit and stuff in here too!"

"Oh. That's nice of her." Tsunami said, though tried to get her head around the idea of putting an entire pig inside some paper. It seemed like a waste of food.

"She approached you guys during your training? Did she do anything else?" Kakashi asked far too casually. The man seemed intent on being hostile to Orochitama for some reason, though there was apparently some sort of past between them, so she shouldn't try to judge.

"Yeah! Came in with an apron and everything, pulling the boar behind her. Then she told Sasuke how amazing I was and that Zabuza is just doing a job or something. Oh and she said she used to be a monster like three months ago, but that was just silly." Naruto prattled on.

"Three months ago?" Kakashi asked. "She said that?"

"The man trying to murder my father is just doing a job?" Tsumani asked. She couldn't believe that Orochitama would say something like that.

"Yeah. Three months ago." Naruto confirmed. "Anyways, she said you should do something with this food and she won't be by for a few days."

Kakashi let out a deep hum. Three months apparently meant something to him. Though he continued with a question. "You said she took the blood form the boar too? She sealed it away?"

"Yeah." Naruto said with a nod. "Nice of her, so we don't have to smell that constantly."

"Oh. And it will stop predators form looking for scraps near your training spot too." Tsunami supplied.

"It appears we won't be seeing much of Orochitama during the next week." Kakashi said bitterly.

"I thought you didn't like her." Tsunami stated in confusion. "Shouldn't you be happier to not see her?"

Kakashi looked at her in consideration for a moment before he spoke. "Tsunami-san, let me answer your question with a question. Would you rather be in a room with a rattlesnake you can see? Or in a room with a rattlesnake that you can't see?"

"Kakashi-san, I don't think that talking about Orochitama like she's some sort of criminal is-"

"I'll just leave these here." Naruto said as he unsealed the scroll in his hand, dumping a field-dressed boar and a grate baring the name of Gato Shipping Company onto the floor.

Kakashi looked over at her with a droll look in his eyes.

"Okay, so yes, she does steal stuff, but she's been nothing but nice to the people of Wave." Tsunami replied.

"Yeah, I know." Kakashi said as he leaned back into his corner and closed his visible eye. "And that's really freaking me out."
-

"So how do I look?" I ask as I turn this way and that. The henge over my body making me look about half a foot shorter, my features far younger, my hair a vibrant blonde, and my make up applied like I had no idea what I was doing.

I was also decked head to toe in the gaudiest jewelry I had ever laid eyes on. A head band with rubies the size of walnuts, a necklace made of silver and thirty separate diamonds, a ring on every single finger that had opals, pearls, sapphires, and emeralds.

"You look fucking ridiculous." Tayuya answered.

"But will Gato take the bait?" I asked.

"Oh he'll fucking love you until he realizes where all the bling came from."

Great, that's exactly what I was going for.

"What do you two think?" I asked as I looked to the two men tied up in the tree hollow that we had set ourselves up in.

The one that we had picked up from the docks, Nariyuki, glared at me in defiance, but the other man, Aoki, that was responsible for getting Gato's girls did his best to give me a thumbs up. Aoki had been nothing but obedient and positive with us since he arrived.

His great attempts to make sure we remained happy with his services was vaguely amusing.

"Kidomaru-kun, try to stay unnoticed as much as you can. Business as usual only. Slip away tomorrow night with any information you managed to gather that we didn't already know."

The Spider Shinobi gave a nod before dashing away. I gave one more look at my more...streamline form, wearing a silk yukata of blue and green, before turning to Tayuya. "Well, time for you to hand me over to a walking embodiment of little dick syndrome."

Tayuya cracked a smile before the two of us jumped away. Ninja travel landing us just a few hundred meters out of Gato's hideout. Tayuya put on her henge and stepped forward with a chord of rope.

I showed great maturity by not saying any bondage jokes as she bound my wrists. We needed to make it seem like I couldn't run off and that I was at the mercy of whoever held the end of the rope. They didn't know I had over two dozen ways of getting OUT of said rope, or all of the ways I could kill them all with my wrists still bound.

I took a breath and tried to get into the right mind space.

I wasn't Orochimaru. I wasn't a mature adult. I was an irresponsible teenager that did foolish things because someone flashed some shiny objects my way and just got over my head.

I let tears gather in the corners of my eyes and looked up at my subordin- at my captor.

"Please. I didn't know! I was just having some fun!" I cried.

The illusionary form in front of me gave a nod of approval before a look of apathy took over. "Come on now. I don't call the shots. Gato's the boss and what he says goes. He's a pretty reasonable guy. We'll let him decide."

It sounded good. We both were in character.

We approached the hideout. Tayuya occasionally yanking me on as I gave slow shambling steps.

"Halt!" One of the guards in front of the base called. "Who's this? Why are you bringing her here? The boss said he didn't want any girls brought in tonight."

My captor shrugged. "Yeah, well this isn't for that. Look at all that cash on her. She had to have stolen it from us. I figure the boss would want to know and handle this case all...personal like."

The guard looked me up and down, I flinched away and let out a small whimper.

The guard frowned. "Aoki. The boss did say that he didn't want any girls today. You could just collect the goods and just...forget what she looks like."

Of all the guards to run into, we had to get the one with a conscience! Even thieves and thugs like this had lines they didn't like to cross.

"Can't. Nariyuki already saw her. He plans on coming in and tattling in the morning. I let her go, it's my ass tomorrow." Tayuya said, appealing to the one thing all thugs considered the highest morality.

Self-preservation.

"Alright, yeah. Head on in," the guard said with a defeated sigh.

It took another fifteen minutes and two conversations about "taking this thief to Gato" before we stood in front of Gato's office. My captor knocked on the door and we were told to enter. I reminded myself to look around. I had no reason to be familiar with the office and the opulence of the room would be awe inspiring for a poor peasant girl.

"Aoki! What is this!? I said not to bring any more girls in!" Gato snarled.

The man had seen better days. Thick bags hung under his eyes, his hair was greasy and matted, and he looked a little pale.

"I know boss. That's not why I brought her. I found her near the docks, looking like...well this. There's no way one of the peasants here could afford to look like that."

The man came up short, and finally noticed how I was completely decked out in jewels, silver, gold, and silk.

I turned up the water works. "P-please! I didn't do anything wrong! I was given these! I swear! One of your men gave them to me when we'd meet for a date! I didn't do anything wrong!"

Gato let out a snarl. "Throw me her headband." He ordered.

My captor complied and Gato took a moment staring at the rubies, holding them up to the light before muttering, "These are real."

The midget snatched up his cane and marched around his desk. Without warning the cane smacked into my face with all the force of a bug bite to someone like Orochitama. I let it drive me to the ground and released a cry of pain.

"Who gave you these!? Who!?" He snarled.

"Hiroto! His name was Hiroto!?" I sobbed. "It wasn't serious! He just gave me money and jewelry for meeting him!"

Gato looked to Aoki. "Who the hell is Hiroto?"

Aoki shrugged. "I dunno boss. We don't have anyone on payroll by that name. We also don't pay any of our guys enough to afford all this. I figure someone gave her a fake name, but I don't know where they would have gotten the stuff from."

I made sure to stay looking away from Gato, but I could practically hear him connecting dots along the trail we left for him.

"Someone's stealing my stuff...and it might be how the ninja have had so much access. Someone on the inside is playing me." Gato came the the desired conclusion and smacked the cane against my prone from once again. "Take her to my room. I'll give her a thorough...interrogation later. Now I just need to-"

The door the the office opened, catching both Gato and me by complete surprise.

I hadn't sensed anyone at the door. Granted, I hadn't expected to be looking for ninja stealth, I was a bit too in character, but even still, whoever manage to avoid my detection up to this point was an upper tier jounin at least. There was a brief clacking sound as I made sure to look up from my position as a brutalized civilian would.

Sandals that could almost qualify as heels. A blue dress that covered an armor weave of chakra metal that worked similar to chainmail, though thinner and lighter. A go to for many ninja. It was also ludicrously expensive.

My gaze trailed up to see auburn hair pulled back in that cascaded down the ninja's back. A mist headband hung loosely around her neck displaying the symbol of the Mist.

I then knew how Gato managed to get a hold of Zabuza.

"Gato. My sources say that you've been having some business problems." Terumi Mei, the future Mizukage, said with a haughty tone.

Her eyes met mine. Her eyes narrowed.

Well, this plan was fucked.

Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Chapter Text

Zabuza somehow tipped her off, which was bad news for my whole 'Recruit Zabuza' thing that I had going on. Still I quaked appropriately under her gaze and didn't break character.

I was a professional.

Her glare slid from me to Gato.

"I see that you are finding time to beat helpless women, but can't find time to make sure that our supplies reach us in a timely manner." Mei stated as she looked away.

There was no way that Mei didn't know I wasn't a civilian. The henge could do quite a lot, but it couldn't disguise the fact it was currently using chakra, which quickly ousted you when you were trying to pretend to be a civilian.

Mei was apparently playing this one by ear.

"Not my fault. Something has been attacking my ships. Locals are blaming some sort of golden crab thing." Gato snarled, spittle flying form his mouth.

"And you didn't feel the need to contact us over this problem?" Mei's voice was cold and sharpened with killing intent.

To his credit, Gato didn't back down. "It was my problem. I was going to handle it. Bad business to make customers deal with my problem."

"It's our problem when out troops don't get their equipment." Mei scoffed. "I will deal with your crab problem. In the meantime, I will take this girl as well."

Yeah, I saw that coming.

"No! This bitch was caught stealing from me! She had a partner on the inside and I need to get the information out of her!"

"You...caught her stealing?" Mei asked with a raised eyebrow and looked down at me.

"No! I didn't! I swear, they were gifts!" I begged.

"Quiet you!" Gato swung the cane at me.

Mei caught it.

"Allow me. These thefts and your problem with crabs might be related." Mei stated and shot me a knowing look. "I'm going to question her while I fix all your other problems"

"What!? You can't-"

Chakra size and the intensity of killing intent are directly linked. Killing intent was like an emotion that flared brightly in chakra. Something that humans had always been aware of, training or not. Something in our lizard brain, something more primal and raw than most humans deal with, screams at us that death approaches. Screams that we should be afraid. When backed by all the chakra of a Kage level ninja? That scream is very loud.

"I can do exactly what I want. We warned you what consequences would come if you failed on your end of the bargain. Be glad I am only giving a warning." Mei turned to me. "Come. You have explaining to do."

Gato's face had vein's bulging and so much blood pumped to his face it had gone past red and was turning a shade of purple. His fists clenched at his side in rage, he said nothing as I stood up and walked out the door with Mei.

Well, if nothing else, this adventure was worth it just for seeing that face.

It was a short walk down the hall before Mei spoke.

"Stop right there." She stated before backing up several more steps from me. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

A thin layer of mist started to creep into the room. Mei's acid mist. The technique was not one I wanted to face indoors. Smaller space meant it concentrated quicker allowing it to ramp up to deadly levels quicker than an open space would allow.

Lava in a confined space had similar issues. Splatter effect was a major problem in a narrow hallway.

I considered that for a moment before dropping my henge, showing my true self, floral dress with gaudy jewelry and all. I brought my own chakra to the surface. Chances are Mei wouldn't want to fight here unless she was very confident she could win. My reputation tended to not make people feel confident.

Mei jumped even further down the hall from me and got into a fighting stance.

"Ara ara. No need to be frightened." I said soothingly. "I'm not here to fight."

"You're..." Mei paused in consideration before continuing with clear confusion, "Orochimaru?"

"Well yes, but no." I answered. "I go by Orochitama these days."

"Orochi...tama." She asked in disbelief, but got herself under control adopting an aloof and haughty expression. "Fine. Whatever you wish to call yourself. What are you doing here? What are your intentions with Mist?"

"Mist?" I asked lightly, "Don't you mean the Mist rebellion?"

Mei's expression never changed. "Rebellion? Mist has no rebellion."

"Of course. How silly of me." I chirped back. "Well I wasn't here about the Mist rebellion. Oops. How silly of me. I wasn't here about the incredibly legitimate business that you have with Gato. I was here for Gato himself. I knew he had some sort of ninja backer but I wasn't sure who. I was simply beating around the bushes to see where he'd run to."

"And what is it that you plan to do now that you know?" She asked.

Now that was the question here, wasn't it? There were plenty of causes that I'd just screw out of this deal and leave them, but the Mist rebellion was a cause that I actually agreed with. Plus it was a poke in the eye of Akatsuki to help them. The number of people that could move product on a large scale and were willing to it with dubious legality were few and far between. Not to say it didn't happen often, just that the people that did it often found themselves having unfortunate accidents. There is a solid chance that Gato was the only person that could have met their shipping needs. Losing him might very well kill the rebellion before it could truly take off.

"Well I had need of my own lines of transport and some capital. Gato Shipping seemed like an excellent choice. Assuming that Gato had no part of it."

Mei didn't move outwardly at that, but her hands were starting to stray slightly closer together, probably restraining herself from throwing ninjutsu already. Mist didn't want to share. Which made sense. When it came to knowing how to share the various hidden villages where like greedy toddlers, only with even more biting.

"As you can see, his services are unavailable currently. So sorry that you had to waste your time." Mei stated in a tone that was anything but sorry.

"What if someone that wasn't Gato took over?" I asked, "I'm certain that if one of your definitely-not-rebellious ninja took over I could do lots of business with you?"

I was lying through me teeth. While I did need supply lines, I needed capital to get everything going, the supply lines were of secondary importance. The real question was if they were open to cooperation if they held the control.

"We can't replace him. His business collapses if he disappears and if a ninja is in charge of it then all the villages will come out of the woodwork to tear it apart. If we could replace him, we would have."

Aha! That wasn't a no. Meaning they are desperate enough to play ball. Meaning if I manage to seize control of the company they'll still participate, they just won't be happy about it. That just left one more question I needed answered.

"Such a loss. At least I did get to meet with Zabuza. I can't believe you all let that one get away."

Mei paused. I had just mentioned I knew that one of Mist's missing-nin was here. A very high profile one. Mei either needed to go kill him, as a good Mist-nin should, or let someone who attempted to kill the Mizukage go. If he was part of the rebellion she'd let him go. If he wasn't then killing him and bringing in his head would help make her look loyal.

Which also meant I'd have to stick close by to stop her from killing him if that's what she decides to do.

But she also knew that was a trap that she couldn't say anything about. So she did what most people do in that situation.

"You know Gato's backers now. Are you going to back off? Or are things going to get ugly?" Mei asked as lava began to drip from her fingers.

Ah, showmanship.

"With someone as beautiful as you around? Terrifying, awe-inspiring, or even sticky, but certainly never ugly." I give a wink.

That brought Mei up short. "Huh?"

"Ara ara. You should learn to take a compliment better, Terumi-chan." I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "I look forward to meeting you again."

I dashed away, slithering through an air vent that would be impossible to fit through if I had to worry about pesky things like a normal human skeleton.
-

Mei watched...whoever that was leave but she didn't drop her guard. There was a strong possibility the woman was still hanging around waiting for her to lower her guard. She wasn't confident in her victory and the fight would almost certain destroy the building and the residents here. Including Gato. Which would have felt nice but would have been very inconvenient for the rebellion.

Mei heaved a sigh and warily walked towards another room. There was still some other ninja in the room with Gato, but revealing him might get this Orochitama to start something.

The question also was how much, if any, of what was just discussed was true. Orochitama could easily have been hired by the Mizukage to flush out rebels. The obviously mad mind of Yagura would probably plan something as ridiculous as a flirty house mother themed Orochimaru. Which, really, could only have come from a very special kind of crazy.

Her feet soon lead her to a door. Zabuza's door. She paused and considered her options.

Orochitama knew both of them were here. Leaving Zabuza alive could compromise her position. The rebellion wasn't ready to strike yet. They didn't have the right people in the right places yet. The smart thing to do here would probably be to kill him.

She raised a hand and knocked on the door.

"Enter." Came the gruff voice.

Mei obliged and took in the room. Zabuza was in a sorry state. He was pale, more so than usual, and had bags under his eyes that spoke of deep weariness. Zabuza's little pet had come to their feet and held a senbon needle in each hand.

"Mei." The man grunted from his spot.

"Zabuza." Mei responded. "We got your message. Any reason you failed to mention Konoha's most infamous missing-nin lurking around?"

"You wouldn't have responded as quickly to a report saying sex changed Orochimaru broke into my room and started flirting with me." Zabuza said simply. She would have scolded him if it hadn't been true. Everyone would have sat around trying to figure out what the message actually meant before acting.

"So it's not just me she flirts with." She observed.

"She does it to unbalance people." He said simply. "She says whatever she can to keep the other person feeling out of their depths, alternates between obscuring what she's saying so much you have to think about all the implications then jumps to being blunt."

Mei gave a hum of agreement as she looked Zabuza up and down again. "Your report also said the Copy-Ninja is here. You said you were handling him. How's that going?"

"I'll kill him in three days." Zabuza responded.

Mei gave a raised eyebrow.

"He's struggling with chakra exhaustion. I'll be fighting fit by the time he's well enough to do anything."

Mei hummed an agreement as she looked at Zabuza. The only sound in the room being Haku, who shifted into a more aggressive stance as the tension in the room grew.

The last fight between Zabuza and Kakashi had clearly been close. So close that another fight between them was questionable. The bridge builder issue was of little importance compared to the threat of Orochitama. And the information that Orochitama now knew. If she killed Zabuza now and brought back his head then this little side trip she took while out on a mission would seem perfectly reasonable. Plus she gave it a 50/50 shot that Zabuza would survive his next encounter with Kakashi.

"Made up your mind yet?" Zabuza asked. "You won't get a better time than now."

All her training told her to go for it. There was more risk to keeping him alive than reward. It wasn't like they couldn't send someone else to kill the bridge builder later, but keeping him alive risked her cover and by extension the cover of the whole rebellion. It was a hard choice, but wars were made of hard choices.

The only thing stopping her was a little voice asking how many hard choices led to Yagura being in charge of Mist.

"This Orochitama knows you are Rebellion now. Do you think she'll use it against us?" She asked, hoping he'd say something to tip the scales back in his favor.

"I don't know. She's tough to get a read on. But, she approached me with a job offer, said she's willing to wait until this job's done but she wanted me to come and help train her people."

Tension melted from her. That was worth while.

"Good. If you're still alive after all this and she comes to you, accept, it'll give us a man on the inside. She's a chaotic element that can throw a wrench in our plans, but she could also be a wrench we can throw in Yagura's plans."

"This mean you aren't going to melt my face off with acid?" Zabuza asked dryly.

Mei scoffed. "Please Zabuza, you're a friend. I'd have killed you with lava."
-

I watched the window to Zabuza's room from a distance, Kusanagi at the ready, but Mei walked out of the room with no attempt on anyone's life. She was leaving him alive. Good.

I had fallen into a mental trap. I honestly had been expecting Akatsuki would be the ones to show up. This sort of thing seemed like it would have Kakuzu all over it. I missed the obvious. Zabuza tried to kill the Mizukage and got exiled. Of course the dissidents of Mist would want him. Location wise it was optimum for Mist.

Mei showing up had been pretty low on my expectations.

Which was a failure on my part. The realtor that read a manga in her teenage years overrode what the experience of a 50 year old ninja that trained his whole life thought might be going on. Which I'd probably think was a bad idea if that thinking didn't also say vivisection on children was a great way to pass the time.

"Hey, Boss Lady." Tayuya said as she approached. "Are we compromised?"

"I'm not sure yet." I answered. There was clearly no love lost between Gato and Mei, but I had no idea if she'd go to him and let him know what was going on. "Did he fall for it?"

"Oh yeah. As soon as you left, he threw a tantrum for a while then went to go count his money like a baby sucking on a pacifier. I know where he keeps his stuff now. If you move his bed, pull up his rug, and then remove some specific stones you'll find where he has a big ass safe hidden."

Under his bed? What was this, amateur hour?

"Ara ara! Excellent job, Tayuya-chan." I congratulated, the pink haired girl still clearly didn't know how to take praise. Not sure if it was because it came from me or if it was just because it was praise. "Well lets just hope Mei leaves soon. I don't want to fight her if I don't have to."

"You don't wanna fight her? Shit, who is that lady?" Tayuya asked.

"Terumi Mei. If things go how I expect, she'll be Mizukage within three years." I answer.

"Oh." Tayuya responded. "You..um-"

"No." I interrupt. "I don't want you or Kidomaru to participate in fighting her. You should run if it comes to that."

"Yeah." She said slowly, sounding relived and confused. "Good. Okay."

"You two might need to inconvenience Kakashi or Zabuza though. I'll probably be busy handling her."

"Inconvenience?" She asked.

"Don't go in for the kill. Even together those two have a decent shot of killing you." I answered before continuing with my orders. "Lay low for now. Give Gato some breathing room. Mei will be watching him for a while and we don't need her grabbing you."

"Sure thing. What about you Boss Lady?" She asked.

"I need to pass on a warning and give Kidomaru some orders." I replied.

"Sure. Meet you tonight at the bridge?"

"Yes. Stay safe Tayuya-chan."

I leapt away quickly. Kidomaru needed to be sure he didn't deploy anymore of his spiders. I was very confident that if he did it now it would end with his spiders, and possibly him, being turned into puddles. More importantly I needed to warn Kakashi.

Unlike with Zabuza, Mei could destroy the house and everyone in it with no warning and just a few seconds.

In seconds I found my way to Tazuna's home. For once I didn't release my hold on my chakra and announce my presence beforehand. I simply walked to the door and rapped a knuckle against it. Within moments Sasuke cracked open the door to peek through.

"Hello little boy, is your sensei home?" I chirped.

The door slammed shut.

I gave a soft giggle before a few moments later Kakashi came to the door and half opened it, hiding his right side, which was doubtlessly clutching a weapon just out of view. It really was commendable how much he still clung to his illusion of being able to actually do anything.

"What do you WANT!?" He said with the tone of desperate man screaming at the sky.

"Zabuza called for back-up. A kage level ninja showed up." I stated simply. "Another Mist nin. You might want to keep a closer eye on the kids. I'm gonna disappear."

The man flashed rapidly through a series of emotions before finally settling on a flat stare.

"So you're leaving then?" He asked.

"For now." I replied kindly. "Tell Tsunami-chan I'll catch up with her later."

The level of seriousness I was displaying seemed to be effecting Kakashi. I could actively see the weight of the world stacking up on his shoulders. Poor guy.

"Keep them safe Kakashi-kun."

"Of course." He responded without hesitation.

I leapt away. It appears my vacation in Wave would be coming to an end.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sasuke stared in disbelief. He'd made steady progress on climbing the tree. He'd be able to finish before Naruto even managed to go half way, but the blond idiot managed to somehow have huge jumps in skill from nowhere. Naruto would stall for hours at the same height and then suddenly go a full two or three meters higher. Then one night, after Orochitama stopped coming around and the client's grandson acted like a little asshole, Naruto stormed out of the house and stayed gone for the whole night.

Then everything changed.

The moments of Naruto stalling out and making no progress became few and far between. He had developed a zealous focus that Sasuke recognized. A single mindedness that let one ignore all the distractions around them and make real progress. The kind of focus that skipped meals, that didn't notice when people called out to you, that made you unaware of your bleeding fingers and sore muscles. Sasuke knew the look well. He saw it in the mirror often enough.

Naruto having it was just unnatural though. Uzumaki was supposed to be distractible, silly, and unthinking of anything that didn't involve Sakura or ramen. But he and Sakura both struggled to get their teammate away from his training area, much less into the house.

Sasuke had stepped up his own training, doggedly keeping his lead, despite the fact that Naruto seemed able to just keep going, as if the cheerful optimism was just converted to a fuel source that kept him going beyond what anyone should be capable of.

And now Sasuke had lost his lead. Naruto had shot past him by a full meter, and they only had two meters of tree left.

Damn it.

Now he was faced with a choice. Did he risk pride on Naruto getting to the top first? Or did he...ask for help.

A shiver of revulsion ran through him.

No. He wouldn't let pride get in the way. He'd bow his head to even the most terrible of demons if it meant that he could kill It-

If he could kill his enemy.

"Naruto." Sasuke stated. The blond didn't even twitch. "Naruto!" He called again.

"Wha-? Huh?" Naruto turned to look over at him. "What do you want? Is it lunch time?"

"How are you-" the words caught in his chest like a slab of spiked lead. "What are you doing that's helping you advance so quickly?" He growled out. The words tasted bitter.

Naruto blinked a few times before looking up at the two trees. The orange-clad ninja's eyes went wide before he leaned his head back and looked at Sasuke like a tyrannical lord would look at a beggar.

"Huehuehue." Naruto said in an obviously faked laugh. "Need help from your superiors Sauske?"

Sasuke restrained from punching the bastard in his smug face.

"Forget it." He growled out and turned to walk away. He didn't have to deal with this bullshit.

"No. Wait. Stop." Naruto spoke up, voice sounding as reluctant as his own had earlier.

"Why?" Sasuke asked back.

Silence reigned in the clearing for a moment, the cool night air rustled leaves and the sounds of crickets filled the air. Finally Sasuke started to away again.

"We need to help each other. This is...too important. We need to both be as strong as we can." Naruto stated, stopping him in his tracks.

"What?" The only thing restraining him from asking how the Dead Last ever thought he could help Sasuke grow stronger was the simple fact that he's the one that started with asking for help.

"I sent a Kage Bunshin into town." Naruto stated, voice suddenly solemn.

"And?" Sasuke asked, not seeing how the two relate. "Why would you do that anyways?

"I wanted to see if I could find Orochitama or that other ninja she said is hanging around." Naruto responded with a shrug. "So anyways, I sent one to town-"

"You did WHAT?" Sasuke gasped. "Why the hell would you go looking for her? Or for the other S-rank ninja? Do you have any idea what that actually means?"

"What? I just wanted to check on her. She's a friend."

Sasuke placed a hand against his face and sighed. What kind of idiot goes running off to find an S-rank ninja while only a genin?

"She's not our friend Naruto!"

"Anyways!" Naruto said, ignoring his comment, "I sent a kage bunshin into town. I looked around a bit and...It's bad there Sasuke."

"Bad?" Sasuke said, his anger draining away. "Bad how?"

"There was the kid. Like five years old." Naruto looked to the sky and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She was living in a box. An actual box. And she was so thin...even through her clothes I could see her ribs Sasuke."

"There are lots of starving people in the world Naruto." Sasuke stated. Gentle wasn't really something he could manage, he settled for matter-of-fact.

"Maybe." Naruto stated begrudgingly. "But Emiko is only there because Gato killed her parents, then her brother died when he was sick and the night was cold."

"Emiko?" Sasuke asked in confusion.

"The kid." Naruto replied.

"Wait. You talked with her?" He asked in surprise. For some reason he had expected Naruto to just walk away. Keep searching. Not go up and talk with the random homeless kid.

"Yeah." Naruto said. "I took her to Tsunami. She said she'd make sure the girl was taken care of."

"I mean...that's sad Naruto." Sasuke said and he meant it. If nothing else he could understanding wanting to help an orphan. "But what does one girl have to do with the training?"

"It's not just one though." Naruto said. "There was also Old-Man Tadashi, who lives in his son's burned down house. Gin, who's mom killed herself. Haruka, who's missing a leg after a fight with one of Gato's thugs. Renji, a fisherman with no boat now. Daisuke, who-"

Sasuke watched with wide eyes as Naruto continued on, listing person after person. Naruto, who could hardly be bothered to remember someone's name on most days, listed dozens of names and the wrongs done to them. As the list continued Naruto's face sagged and tears began to pour down his cheeks, and Sasuke just watched in astonishment.

Sasuke wanted to ask how Naruto even knew all this. That there was no way that he would have stopped and gotten to know all these people. It was clear that Naruto had done just that, the idiot wasn't smart enough to make that many names and stories on the fly. But a part of him rebelled at the idea that Naruto cared enough to stop and help this weak and helpless civilians.

"And that's why we need to beat Gato! We have to stop this Sasuke! He's starving them! Beating them!" Naruto's hand gripped at his own chest as if desperate to grip his own heart. "Make them live...alone."

Sasuke felt his own heart clinch. Sasuke didn't care for it.

"So what? What does that have to do with you getting up the tree faster?" Sasuke demands.

"Because I know Zabuza will be back. And I know that he's probably not the worst thing that's gonna show up. And I also know that all of that doesn't matter." Naruto stated, standing taller than Sasuke had ever seen him. The blond smacked one fist into the palm of his hand with a meaty smack. "Because even if I gotta fight the Old Man Hokage himself. I'm not leaving these people until Gato is gone!"

All at once Sasuke realized why he had trouble believing Naruto earlier. Why he didn't think that Naruto would stop to help all those random lost souls. The most simple of reasons.

He couldn't imagine doing it himself, and Sasuke just wasn't sure how that made him feel.

"So, what? You think just because you're fighting for these broken strangers that you're stronger now?" He asked to change the subject.

A 500-watt smile came over his face. "I'm beating you, aren't I?"

"Tch." Sasuke said and looked away. Still. Naruto was getting results. "Fine."

Sasuke looked back up the tree. Days of work scaring the tall pine. Sasuke heaved a sigh.

"For the lost and broken strangers." Sasuke stated.

"Nah." Naruto interrupted. "For those forcibly made to be alone."

"For those made to be alone." Sasuke agreed.

He ran at the tree.
-

Kakashi leaned against the wall and let his body relax. The aches and pains in his bones were going away. Another night of rest and he'd probably be able to use chakra again without injuring himself. Chakra exhaustion was less like normal fatigue and more like a pulled muscle. It didn't stop you from using it, it just was painful and rushing things could permanently injure you. That said, Zabuza would probably be recovered enough to fight tomorrow as well. Or at least be damn close to it.

How quick a body heals wasn't an exact science.

Kakashi perked up as he felt two presences approach. He instantly recognized them as his students. Partly it was the feel of their chakra. The two had many skills, but neither tended to hide their presence as they walked around.

Though really the major hint to the identity was-

"Kaaaaaakaaaaaashiiiiiiiii." A loud voice yelled through the door before it was violently wretched open, "Sensei!"

That.

He considered getting onto the boys volume, but then he caught sight of the glow on his students face. Even Sasuke's face looked lighter than usual.

"Ma. Did my cute little genin get it?" He asked.

"We nailed it-dattebayo!"

Kakashi couldn't stop his smile. For all that this mission had been a pain in his ass, he couldn't help but be proud of his team. Each of them had grown and changed, allowing him to see the beginnings of the fabulous shinobi that they would become.

"So, which of you got to the top first?" He asked.

"Uhhhh." Naruto droned as he looked at Sasuke, who shared the questioning glace.

Neither of them knew? They didn't pay attention to their rival when they reached the top of the tree?

He honestly wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one.

"Of course it was me."/"I reached it first." The two stated at the same time.

"Oh come on! I was way in the lead." Naruto bragged.

"For like five minutes before I passed you." Sasuke scoffed.

Fire began to spark in their eyes and Kakashi acted quickly before the two could dissolve into an argument.

"Naruto. If you would, I think Tsunami-san had been asking for you. Could you go see what she needs?" Kakashi asked.

"Huh? Oh. Sure I guess." Naruto answered. "We'll finish this later, ya bastard." With a parting stink eye, Kushina's legacy left the room.

The last loyal Uchiha smirked after Naruto. For once, the scion of the sharigan's face looked more boyish in that moment than he'd ever seen before. It confirmed to him all the more that what he was about to do was the correct course of action.

"Sasuke. Follow me. I need to talk to you."

A professional mask of indifference slid over the boy's face, barely hiding the fear.

God. Was that what he looked liked at that age?

Kakashi walked out to dock just behind the house. The old wood groaned under his feet. He could walk lighter, aim for stepping on the supports in just the right way, and avoid making any sound, but something about the creaking of old wood always just seemed to comfort him.

Sasuke stepped up beside him.

"So. We're in a bad spot." Kakashi stated.

"Hn." Sasuke acknowledged.

"We should probably run." The Copy-Nin continued as he looked out into the water.

Sasuke tensed and didn't respond immediately. Kakashi didn't press it. He let the implication hang in the air as he glance up to the sky. Wave had little light pollution, and the sky was filled with stars. You could even see the subtle glow of light that hung about the stars in only the most deserted of places. Though not quite as bright as the deserts of Suna at night.

"Naruto won't run." Sasuke stated finally.

"I can handle him." Kakashi said. "I'd rather he be alive and pissed than dead."

"I-" Sasuke hesitated before continuing, "I'm not going to run."

Why did the people he cared about always have to be self sacrificing idiots?

"Okay." He said whilst running a hand through his silver hair.

"Okay? That easily?"

Kakashi found the surprise in his voice vaguely insulting.

"Sakura said the same thing earlier, and I'm not heartless. I want to help these people too." His student shifted uncomfortably. "If we stay though, we have to send a message back to Konoha. As soon as humanly possible. It's unlikely, but we could get reinforcements in time."

"Reinforcements?" Sasuke asked in surprise, likely not realizing that was an option. Though he thought on it for a further moment before turning a chin up in defiance. "I'm not taking the message."

"I didn't expect you to." Kakashi took the paper out of his pouch he had been working on all day. A complex array of seals on it's surface.

"A...messaging seal?" Sasuke guessed.

"Of sorts. A summoning seal. With just a bit of my chakra you can use it to summon one of my nin-dogs. But, if you do that, it will mark you. You will be tied to my summons, and could learn to summon them again on your own."

There was a sharp intake of breath.

Good. His student knew the implication. Summons were a deeply personal thing with ninja. Summons aren't often shared with even your closest friends. It was the sort of thing you passed down to your children. To your family.

Or to an apprentice.

An apprentice to a ninja was as good as blood. It was someone beyond just a genin student. It was someone that you trusted not just with your technique, but your way of life, your nindo. If things weren't so dire, he'd never consider doing this. Sasuke was a good kid that needed a lot of help, but it wasn't the sort of thing he'd want to do. Not yet. Not till Sasuke could show himself as worthy of the position.

Multiple S-ranked ninja showing on a C-rank mission tended to change one's priorities though.

"So...I'd be your apprentice." Sasuke stated.

"If you wanted to be. But either way, I need this done. If I do it myself tonight there's a good chance I won't be ready for Zabuza."

"Why me? Why not Sakura or Naruto?"

The very fact he asked that was a fantastic sign.

"While my summoning isn't as intensive as some other's, it still requires more chakra than Sakura can handle right now. And Naruto..." Kakashi trailed off. "Well let's just say Naruto already has someone that wants to be his master."

"Really? Naruto?" Sasuke asked askance.

"It takes all kinds."

"So it's because they aren't well suited." Sasuke said with a nod.

"Yeah." Kakashi acknowledged, "And also because you are a lot like me. Possibly too much."

"Oh."

"Mhm."

The sounds of the night filled the silence. It was a big decision, so Kakashi let him consider it.

Kakashi inhaled deeply. The cool night of Wave made the damp air crisp and invigorating. Kakashi had never been one for fishing, but it made him want to sit somewhere with a cane pole.

"So how do I do it?" Sasuke asked.

Decision made then.

Kakashi settled once more into the role of teacher.
-

I gave a stretch of my arms and a hearty yawn before getting out of my hammock. The morning sun not yet having risen. Kidomaru and Tayuya stood up behind me.

The last few days had been incredibly boring, but we had to prepare for everything else to be in place. Communication back to Sound, for things to get in place, to hope that Mei would back out and not get involved. No luck on the Mei front. I'd managed to catch glimpse of her a few times.

One way or the other, things were ending today.

"Kidomaru-kun, are your summons in place?" I asked.

"Yes. Ready to go on the signal."

"Tayuya-chan? You know your target?"

"I'll have him out when you're ready Boss Lady."

I gave a nod. Azuma, my summon I'd left with the exploding tags, hadn't been killed and hadn't reported back, so those were all still in place.

In the distance, I felt chakra moving and killing intent rising.

Earlier than I thought. I'd hoped that I could do this before he recovered.

"You have your missions. Go." I order.

We disperse and I head directly towards the bridge, the center of the conflict.

I arrive about the same time Kakashi and his group do. I find my own dance partner on an island of pure rock a short distance from the bridge. An island that hadn't existed the day before.

I casually make my way over to it. The black stone plateau takes only seconds to climb and I join Mei's side, just out of arm's reach from her.

"So you really are going to start a fight?" Mei asked casually.

"No. I hope to end it if I can." I replied.

"It's a bit late for that, I think."

"Ara ara. It's never too late for that. We just lie to ourselves to feel better about it." I respond again.

Mei scoffs at the idea. Orochimaru would have scoffed too.

"If the fight goes poorly for Zabuza, are you going to jump in?" I asked. It was the key question here. Mei couldn't let people know she was part of the rebellion. They weren't out and fighting Yagura yet. If the Konoha ninja knew it would be an issue. If a spy found it in Konoha's archives it would immediately turn bad. Where as if it was information provided by known traitor and liar Orochimaru, it would be investigated thoroughly first.

If Mei revealed herself to the Konoha team she'd have to kill them to keep her cover safe.

"Yes. We can't lose here."

"Are you sure we can't just share the resource? I have reason for Yagura to be deposed myself."

"Yes, letting you get your claws into Mist could only end poorly. I've seen some of the labs you've had there. You are just as monstrous as Yagura."

"Why must you bully me so, Mei-chan?" I pouted.

Mei's face contorted between expressions of disgust and confusion.

That was a fair reaction from anyone that had seen one of Orochimaru's labs in the land of Mist.

"Ara ara. Such a sour face for your partner for the day." I chided before smoothing my sweater out a bit. The purple turtleneck looking far more appropriate for going to the local grocery store than wearing into battle. "Shall we make each other scream here or relocate a bit?"

Mei glared at me and widened her stance.

"Oh my! This close the children will hear us." I said before giving a tut of disproval. "Voyeurisms is all well and good so long as it's with consenting-"

A wave of lava spewed towards me.

The fight was on.

Notes:

With this, you guys are caught up to my other writing. This last chapter was one I had posted on the primary site less than a week ago. Going forward there will be an update probably about once a month. Feel free to go to my Discord to chat! Link in Bio.

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tsunami found herself much busier for the last few days. Wave had long needed a hero to help save them. Apparently that hero took the form of a pale woman and an orange clad loudmouth. Gato had hurt Wave in every conceivable way; financially, physically, but most of all spiritually. The souls' of the people were so beaten and battered, just barely maintaining a spark of hope due to her father's bridge.

Though it seemed that the human spirits was more resilient than she thought.

It had started with Naruto bringing her a child, badly in need of some food and someone to care. Then Tadashi, who she had thought died in the fire with his son. And then another. And another. And another.

Somehow these lost and lonely people managed to be convinced by a twelve year-old that things could be better. The hope in people, once a dying ember, had managed to become a small candle. A fragile flame that winds of adversity could snuff out, but a far cry from what it once was.

The wonders of what a heartfelt speech, a hug, and some food could accomplish.

So, every day, while her father was out working and the ninja were out training she went by the local town hall. The place had been useless for years anyways. Now it was being used to house those that trickling in needing help. Some of the lost came to help other, and find a reason to get up in the morning. Others because they desperately needed help. In the end Tsunami was proud of their work and what she had managed to pull together. Even if Orochitama had managed to disappear.

Kakashi had assured her that her new friend was perfectly safe, but when a woman just disappeared it was rarely for good reasons.

"Tsunami-san? Did we have any of that stew left over? Some of the kids are saying they are hungry." Tadashi asked. The old man having more life in that sentence than any other time in the last two years.

"Sure. Give them another bowl, but water it down just a little since it's their second one." Tsunami responded as she continued to organize the various boxes of food they had left. Even with the entire crate she started out with, feeding more than 30 people every day had a way of running through supplies quickly.

The peace of the simple task of sorting was shattered with a sudden scream of fear. The sort of scream that came from sheer panic and pierced straight into the part of humans that made them form communities and allowed for things like empathy. It let them know that someone was in danger and made you incapable of ignoring that.

Tsunami rushed out of the small kitchen to see two of Gato's wannabe samurai standing at the entrance. One of them raising a sword to cut down Emiko where she lay on the ground, trembling before the two men.

"Stop it!" She shouted immediately as she ran for the small child, ready to throw herself over the girl to protect her from harm.

It took several confused seconds before Tsunami realized that she was not dead nor in pain.

"What the hell Zori!?"

"That's our target dumbass. We're supposed to take her alive."

Tsunami looked up. The two men were familiar on closer inspection. Zori and Waraji were often the enforcers Gato sent out to get something done. Zori, a man with a young face and long unusually well-kept hair, had one hand on his partner's arm, which had apparently saved her life.

"Yeah, but all the rest of these guys are fair game, right?" Waraji asked with the grin of a feral dog. "We don't need them for shit."

The tension in the room became stifling and Tsunami's blood filled with winter's snow. The dozen people in the room looked to around in a panic before every single gaze fell on her with question in their eyes.

"Do whatever you want. But we got a schedule to keep." Zori said with the same tone that she would tell Inari he had five more minutes to play before going home.

These people were here for her, but they were willing to hurt everyone here. No. Not willing. They didn't do this because they had to. They wanted, more than anything to hurt these people. These monsters in men suits hurt her people, her family, until they just enjoyed pain.

"Mom!" Inari yelled, drawing her attention. Her son, her baby, was only barely being held back from running to her by Tadashi. The old man struggling against the desperation of her son.

"Hey! That's the Tazuna's grandkid right? That means I can cut up Mommy right?" Waraji asked with a sneer.

They would hurt her son?

Tsunami stood, reached into her apron and pulled out the one gift Orochitama had left her that wasn't food. She held a kunai in two hand in front of her and did her best to look threatening.

Going by the two men's laughter, she wasn't doing a good job of it.

"Do you even know how to use that?" Waraji sneered.

"I imagine the pointy end goes into the other person." Tsunami threatened. "Now leave! You aren't welcome here!"

"Oh come on. You're a housewife. You don't have it in you." Zori said with a shake of his head.

Tsunami glanced behind her at the rabble of people behind her. A group of cripples, children, and the elderly. None of them could beat the swordsmen. It would be a hopeless fight.

Then she remembered Orochitama's words.

"One of the most powerful weapons in the world." The pale woman had said, a wistful smile on her face as if picturing a fond memory. "Hope has been the cause of the rise and fall of more countries and causes than you can count. Hope is a powerful thing. It makes people act in ways that aren't in their best interest. It makes people stand up. Put their lives on the line. It makes them rise against tyrants."

She was in need of a powerful weapon. The answer of where to find that though came from a much more straight forward source.

Tsunami straightened herself, steeled her resolve and shouted.

"No! I'm a mother protecting her child. There's nothing I can't do." The cold in her veins was banished away with dragon's fire.

"Oh, come now. You can't-" Zori started to say.

His companion cut him off. "No. She's got it in her." Waraji's scared face, if anything, grew more predatory from this realization.

"Everyone." She said, more confident now than she'd ever been in her life. "I could die here, but that's okay. I have something back that Wave had lost. We've lost our hope and we've been desperate for someone to bring it back but..." A blonde child with eyes of steel flashed in her mind. "Hope is something we give ourselves! And if you don't believe me, I'll show you now!"

Tsunami stepped forward. She couldn't win this fight, but she had a chance at making them loose. Waraji was going for a thrust of his sword. If she threw herself onto the strike she could bury the knife in his throat.

But luck favored Tsunami. The swordsman stumbled at the last second, letting out a cry of surprise for just a moment as his sword went wide and his thrust hit only a little of her clothing, but his stumble also brought his neck onto her knife that much faster. Blood's stench filled the air and in spite of the man's death being her exact intentions she found herself surprised at his sudden demise.

"What?" Zori asked with as much surprise as she felt.

The the rest of her victim's weight fell forward and Tsunami struggled to keep hold of her knife, until it finally ripped out the side of his neck. The blood splattered all over her front and her hand dripped with freshly spilled life.

"H-hey! You'll pay for-"

A frying pan filled with the boiling left overs from breakfast came into her field of vision before dumping it's contents into Zori's face. The hot skillet followed a second after.

The burn covered arms of Tadashi came into view next as they lifted up and smashed into Zori. The attack was uncontrolled and chaotic. Zori managed to get maneuver his sword into the way of kitchen tool, though his other hand was placed on the blade of the weapon to stop the blow. Then Inari, Haruka, and Gin started to beat on the man with crutches, a broom, and a rolling pin.

Before the man could turn his sword against her overly enthusiastic son she ran up, hefted back a leg, and kicked Zori in the head as hard as she could.

He stopped moving.

The whole interaction had taken less then three minutes from the moment she walked into the room, and yet somehow Tsunami felt like she had done a full days hard labor.

"Is-" She cut off to take a wheezing breath. "Is everyone okay?"

She got a brief round of confirmations.

"Good. We can't stay here now. We have to-" Tsunami stopped. Take these people where? She couldn't take them home. Maybe she could go down to the old fishing docs?

"Now we take the fight to them, right?" Inari asked. She snapped her gaze to him. The boy stood tall, even as he struggled to lift Waraji's blade. Her baby's hand's were covered in blood from the weapon's hilt. The blood she had spilt.

She wanted to pull him away. Lock him in his room and keep the boy from ever touching a blade ever again, but Inari's eyes shown with so much optimism it was almost blinding.

"We go now! If they attacked us they probably attacked the ninja! Gato will be focused on that! Now is when we attack! Now we take back our home!" Inari shouted with a fervor that had everyone latch on to his words and the hope they craved. Everyone here was desperate for hope and they drank of it deeply. There would be no stopping this at this point.

Tsunami grasped the bloody katana and gently took it from the boy's hands.

"Find what weapons you can!" She shouted and pointed the sword towards the door. "Out to the town! Gather everyone one we can! Today, Wave belongs to the people again!"

Those broken, beaten, and alone then armed themselves with table legs, kitchen knives, and pitchforks. Then they went to war. She just hoped that Naruto, so wise beyond his years and yet so very young, was doing okay.
-

"Hey, Sasuke, I'm here to rescue you!" Naruto bragged.

"Naruto! You idiot! If you stayed on the outside we could have attacked on two fronts!" Sasuke snarled. Why did he have to get settled with the teammate that was dumb as a sack of hammers.

"Eh? I came in to help you! You ungrateful ba-"

An explosion detonated in the near distance. The mist was too heavy to see what was causing it, but it glowed hot like fire and was bright enough to be seen even through the mist. But the glow dropped to the water like a lead weight, where the water hissed like an angry cat.

His only consolation was that the masked ninja seemed to find the light show just as distracting. Apparently the hunter-ninja wasn't sure what was going on with that either or was just very worried about it. As long as it remained an unknown it might throw them off balance. Distract them enough that Sasuke had a shot at him.

"Hey, Sasuke. You think that's Orochitama and that S ninja that made her stop coming around?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke resisted the urge to just let a needle kill him.

"Naruto. Don't offer up information to the enemy!"

"What? Whoever she's fighting is probably with them, right?" Naruto asked in confusion.

That was probably true.

"We don't know that. Hell, it could be that it's Orochitama trying to kill us and reinforcements from Konoha arrived and she's fighting them."

"Psh, nah." Naruto once again put his fingers together and summoned a dozen clones, all of which spoke in unison. "Snake Lady is totally on our side."

A senbon needle flew at Sasuke's eye, and he barely jerked an arm up in time to deflect the weapon.

"You aren't in the position for a leisurely chat." The masked ninja reminded before releasing a flurry of needles, this time the needles just a little bit slower than before. Be it distraction, fatigue, or Sasuke growing used to his opponent, but he was beginning to catch up.

"Naruto. I have a plan. Buy me time." Sasuke said, straining his eyes.

"No problem! I can keep this up for hours!" Naruto yelled as clones once again filled the dome of ice.

Things were still dicey, but they were gaining an edge. He just had to hope that he'd nail the timing and take ice user out.
-

The person who makes the first move has the advantage. This is true for everything from Shogi to war. Being able to set the pace was good. Blowing your enemy apart with the first blow because they underestimated you is even better.

So Mei didn't hold back. She flashes through a few hand signs and releases a giant wave of lava at her foe, hoping to score a debilitating hit out of the gate would be good, but getting breathing room is better. She doesn't personally know much about how Orochimaru fights, but Mei herself does her best work in the middle distance.

Her dual blood bloodline allowed for two spectacular area denial techniques. Her taijutsu, while not terrible, was far from her strong suit, if only because she rarely found a need to use it while they fell to the ground screaming as their skin melted off.

Mei leaps back and away as soon as she finishes her technique. Her own lava blocks her view and S-ranked ninja were not something that you treat like they aren't going for the kill.

Mei's hand's rushes through a familiar pattern and acid mist rises from her skin, the veil of death surrounding her even as her feet hit the water.

Then a loud bang came from the direction of her lava. The wave broke in the middle and the molten rock splattered in all directions, causing Mei to take another several steps back herself. The lava falls into the water with angry hissing and the air fills with steam.

Across from her stood her pale opponent, no worse for ware. Wearing a soft smile, lightly fanning herself.

"Ara ara. In a hurry to make things hot and steamy Mei-chan? We should at least have drinks first."

Mei narrows her eyes. Few ever think to fight her lava with force and making it scatter. Though generally that's because they were too busy thinking "Oh god, I'm going to die!"

Still, that sort of explosion would require a large amount of chakra, though the added steam in the air wouldn't be doing her any favors. Extra moisture saturation began to dilute her acid mist, which was part of the reason she let Zabuza kick his fight off first. He pulled all the moisture in the area over to his location.

"I see you have this whole slutty mommy figure thing going on. How very drab. I'm not the usual desperate souls that pay you for a night." Mei taunts.

The Sannin gave an exaggerated gasp. "Slutty mommy thing? My word. I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing. I'm really just going for more of a mature womanly aura."

Mei releases a billow of acid in response, the mist closing in on her opponent.

"Mature? Perhaps in the the same since twelve year-olds sneak around with 'mature' magazines." Mei stated as she followed up the acid with four globs of lava that shot around the missing-nin to box her in for the rolling mist.

Orochimaru simply stands there as the acid rolls in, skin sloughing off as it hissed and turned brown.

A mud clone!

Mei throws herself to the side as a sword bursts from the water. The blade extending several meters from the water and who knew how far it went under.

That attack came close to-

Mei noticed something off about the sword. It had a dozen exploding tags along it's length and the tags were half a meter from her face. Then, the sword retracted with an even greater speed, helpfully leaving behind a small cloud of pyrotechnic eagerness.

Distance wouldn't be enough for an explosion that close. Mei pushes herself back even as a single hand sign causes the water between herself and the tags swell into a half-dome around the seals, directing the shape of the explosion away from her.

Though the explosion took longer to go off than she'd anticipated. Her foe was either not well versed in exploding tags or...or they were trying to manipulate her into a position!

Mei dashed away as the water under her surged upwards, revealing six cut logs, dragged to the surface by their buoyancy.

All the logs were also coated with a liberal application of exploding tags.

Splinters of wood shattered into every direction. Or at least they did for the brief moment they weren't ash. A quick fireball turning the projectiles into harmless dust. Though the explosions and water vapor were doing terrible things for her acid mist.

"Oh, I'm glad you knew how to protect yourself from my wood exploding all over you." The annoyingly cheerful voice called.

The joke made her eye twitch. It was low tier body humor, which truly was the lowest form of comedy.

"How uncouth. You have adopted the look of a mature woman, but clearly on the inside you are a twelve year-old boy that just learned he can say things about his parent's private activities."

Mei followed up the comment with a fireball. As the space between Orochimaru and herself ignited, Mei's hand flashed through seals.

Before Mei could get the technique off her fireball was taken care of in an explosion of water. Considering she hadn't seen any hand signs, that probably meant her offence was taken out by an exploding tag. Again.

"Suiton: Dueling Dragons!"

The water to either side of her foe bulged up until two serpentine forms made of water spiraled out and around the pale woman. They travelled at a break neck pace and swirled inward to rend flesh with their jaws. Though if one touched any part of the dragons they'd find that part of them missing in short order.

Mei attempted to throw in another ninjutsu to drop on her foe, but in moments her dragons were destroyed in an explosion of water and wind.

Standing in the same place, her foe flipped her wind tussled hair and straightened her untouched outfit.

"Futon: Great Breakthrough." The woman said, apparently in explanation to what happened to the water trying to bite her head off.

Mei restrained herself from attacking again. A difficult task for her, since she usually played where offence was the best defense. Her foe was stopping her ninjutsu at ever step, but the woman was also playing on defense. The only attacks thrown by the Sannin were to get Mei to move and to disperse the acid cloud. It was unusual. Even the most defensive shinobi through out attacks more often than that.

Internally she molded her chakra for an attack and then waited. It was time to see what her opponent would do when given the opportunity to go on the offensive.

"Ara ara." The woman said, passing a hand through her hair. "It's getting so steamy. My hair is going to frizz. Not the look I was hoping to have later today."

Her hair? This was a fight, not a day at the spa.

"Don't worry. You won't have to worry about your hair much longer." Mei taunted.

"Really, Mei-chan? With that coiffure? You must know that a woman always worries about her hair."

Mei did grant that line some credence. For a woman in the male dominated shinobi world it was not merely enough destroy your opponents, but you also had to look good doing it.

"Yes, well the dead are beyond such worries." Mei commented as she lowered her arms further, opening herself more for an attack.

An attack that didn't come.

Her opponent just stood there with a serene smile. "There is no need for either of us to die here Mei-chan. Just let the fight on the bridge resolve without interference."

The bridge fight? That's it? That's all she's asking for? That couldn't be right.

The woman was stalling for something clearly, and it wasn't this fight. The bridge fight might be something she cares about, but there's no way she was here just to make sure three brats didn't die to Zabuza.

Mei's mind raced as she tried to think things through. Continuing the fight would just draw out the clock longer on whatever it was that Orochimaru was going for. She wanted Gato's company. There was no way she'd actually be able to do that though, Gato had insured that there was no way to have the business just be signed over to another person. Gato dies, the whole business fails.

"Just wanting me to sit back? Sounds like the logic of someone who thinks she will loose. Running out of exploding tags?" Mei asked.

It was a strong possibility for why she was wanting the fight to end. Exploding tags weren't cheap and she had been burning through them the entire fight. However someone of Orochimaru's caliber didn't need those to stall a fight. They probably knew hundreds of ways to be a slippery bitch.

No, the business was the key.

"Oh no. It just seems a waste of effort when I recently found this nice box of exploding tags going to waste in one of Gato's warehouses. So I figured I'd let that do the work for me." Orochimaru said before raising a single hand to her mouth and let out a soft giggle.

Wait. A box of...

Son of a bitch! The woman was holding her off with MIST'S EXPLODING TAGS!

So now, the longer the fight went on and the more Mei fought, the more those exploding tags would dwindle.

She cursed her decision to keep them in the warehouse. She had thought it the right decision. The rebellion needed food, clothing, and shelter. She figured the tags were safer elsewhere and it would be better to keep them offsite since they weren't needed until the big day. After all, food and clothes can be explained away. A giant crate of exploding tags was more difficult to explain.

But now that decision was blowing away her lava and her mist with judicious use of explosions.

She'd be impressed if it didn't piss her off so much.

"You are fighting me...with weapons we bought?" Mei growled out.

"Maybe pay on delivery next time?" Orochimaru offered. "Or maybe don't do business with tyrannical businessmen with an inferiority complex? The second one seems better advice."

Mei let out a scream of rage and launched a deluge of lava at her opponent. Then immediately aimed elsewhere.

The conversation had also made something click for Mei.

What was a business but it's assets? That was the misdirect. She was here stalling so that she could go for the docks and all it's cargo. And whoever was doing that probably wasn't nearly as strong as Orochimaru.

It was time for Mei to take advantage of her greatest strength.

Ninjutsu with area of effect techniques grew far more deadly when one had to worry about their allies positions.

With that, Mei launched three ship sized balls of lava the almost completed bridge.

Notes:

Chapter done. Fight scenes are hard. That took me forever to complete. If you really enjoy the story go to my discord or the forum I post on to be more involved in the discussion!

threads/orochimama-naruto-si.858340/

Discord link in Bio

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I curse internally as I see the globs of lava fly off towards the bridge. I had been hoping that Mei wouldn't capitalize on one of her major strengths. Collateral damage.

The woman was unparalleled in her ability to cause huge areas of damage. Even with me fighting the woman defensively she wouldn't be easy to take out. Most all of my attacks I sent to injure she dodged entirely. I wouldn't have such an easy time shutting her down if I was actually trying to kill her in a timely manner. But because I was playing defensive and had a metric fuck ton of exploding tags, so far I had been able to keep her offensive from getting rolling.

The lava was flashy and dangerous to be sure, but the mist of acid was her real killer. She could sit in the middle of it and make anyone approaching her die a quick but messy death. Add in the fact that she had good control of fire, water, and earth, that lead to a quick death spiral if you let her build up to it.

If we were indoors this fight wouldn't be going nearly as well.

I had been specifically trying to ruffle Mei's feathers to get her to focus on me more, because the fight grew harder when I had to not only defend myself, but the bridge as well.

The attack was big, but it was also relatively slow. A jounin would be able to handle the attack only slightly singed. Kakashi and Zabuza would come out fine. Considering Haku and ice shields and could basically teleport, the young masked ninja wasn't in danger. The three genin and their civilian client? Not so much.

The attack on the bridge changed the game. Rashomon couldn't be summoned, the angle was wrong and it took a few moments for me to prep the summon.

I fling three kunai at the lava, each loaded up with exploding tags.

The three knives do a decent job of blowing apart the lava, but some of the scattered bits of molten death would still scatter over the bridge.

"Suiton: Great Water Explosion!" I call as I run through hand signs.

The waves below the attack exploded as fat drops of water shot up in defiance of gravity, like someone had set off a deep sea charge.

The technique was chakra intensive for me, particularly since I did not have a water nature. Even with the cost it was only mostly effective. More than a dozen baseball sized lumps of lava fell to the bridge as well as a cascade of wet stones.

I could only hope that the interruption didn't hurt the Konoha team's chances. Especially since Mei took my brief distraction as a chance to bolt towards the dock. But, because she was heading towards town too, I couldn't get too close, or the citizens of Wave would have death raining down on their heads.

I might be able to reverse summon myself to Azuma, the Eastern Brown Snake I'd left watching the exploding tags, but I held back. I didn't want to run the risk that this was a fake out and Mei was actually heading to Gato's hideout, where Tayuya should be wrapping up.

So I pursued and hoped things worked out on the bridge.
-

Sakura looked back and forth from the mist in the bridge to the explosions and flashes happening out over the water. So much was happening all at once and she just wasn't sure the best thing to do, because all her options felt like losing options.

If she went to help Sasuke, Tazuna would be left alone and killed. If she jumped into Kakashi's fight she'd probably get herself and Kakashi killed. If she tried to leave the bridge with Tazuna her and the bridge builder would suddenly become the highest priority target. And the fight happening in the water...well she could effect that about as much as a single skipping stone could effect the course of a river.

The only thing she could do was sit and wait. To look for an opportunity to be useful. The logic of her mind told her that she was being useful. It just didn't feel that way.

"Are there some sort of gods fighting down there?" The gruff voice of Tazuna asked, sounding painfully sober for the first time since she met him. The bridge builder was looking off to the side of the bridge.

"No." Sakura said, trying to sound sure of herself. "It is just the height of what a ninja can be."

A height that Sakura couldn't imagine herself ever reaching.

Was she even really cut out to be a ninja? If there were people like this arou-

Those were really big balls of fire headed to them! Ninja training kicking in, she shoved down any panic and tackled Tazuna to the ground and did her best to cover him.

A series of explosions sounded, far closer than any yet. Then an iron poker was jammed into her.

A glance up to another spot on the bridge told her what happened. A fist sized dollop of lava sat cooling on the bridge.

That wasn't good. Lava would do more damage the longer it was on her, as it continued to burn further and further into her skin and muscles. The spot on her back, just beside her left armpit, was screaming pain. Sakura saw white and fought the urge to vomit. She could barely think, which is the only reason she could take the action she did so quickly.

She grabbed a kunai with her right hand, brought it under her arm, and yanked down, removing the lava and small layer of skin and fat.

Sakura let out a scream of pain so intense that she could taste blood.

But she couldn't just lay there. There was a fight going on. If she fell here, someone would die. Probably her. She stood to her feet.

"What! Why did you- by the gods, you're bleeding!" Tazuna stumbled onto his feet.

"No shit!" She growled before digging a hand into a pouch. She took out a roll of bandages and a pack of pain killers.

Tazuna looked up to her in surprise. Apparently he didn't expect her tone.

Well when he got a chuck of his back cut out, he could curse too! She ripped open the pack of pain pills and took four. More than the prescribed amount, but it wouldn't impede her more than the pain would. She threw the bandages to Tazuna before stepping in front of him, fresh kunai raised at the ready.

Her old one was...

She stopped herself from vomiting.

"Wrap the bandage over my opposite shoulder and over the wound. Try not to get in the way."

"W-what? You need to sit down! You're wounded!"

"Tazuna." She interrupted, voice horse. "I can't sit down. If I'm not ready, one of them will try to kill us when we aren't paying attention. If I don't do this we will DIE!"

Sakura blinked away tears. She didn't have time to cry right now!

"I...I'm so sorry." Tazuna choked out.

"Then be sorry while you bandage me." She growled.

Tazuna only hesitated for a moment more and stood up and did as requested.

She just hoped the others were doing well. Even if she stood a chance fighting the Hunter-nin before, she sure as hell didn't stand one now.
-

Sasuke had seen better days.

He had memories of a small sack of tangled yarn that his mother had always put her sewing needles into. Until now he'd never felt sorry for the yarn.

But he was getting close. The Hunter Nin was either getting slower or he was starting to get a hang of his movements. It wouldn't take much longer now.

Sasuke had thrown four fireballs in the fight already, and he was beginning to feel it. The strain of trying to dodge wasn't doing him any favors either. He couldn't keep this up forever.

"Come on! I'll get you this time! Kage Bunshin!" Naruto yelled, throwing yet another wave of shadow clones out to buy them time.

He had no idea how many times the blond had managed that so far. More than twenty, at least. Just how much energy did the loudmouth have?

A flash of fire reflected in one of the mirrors, and Sasuke watched his foe closely.

Every time something loud happened in the fight at the water, the ice user grew distracted. The slight turn of the masked figure showed that the pattern held. The nin was very invested in the battle down in the water.

That could be an advantage.

Damned if he could figure out what that advantage was though.

"Hey!" Naruto demanded. "If you're so concerned about Zabuza, why do you keep looking over there?"

Sasuke looked to his teammate in surprise.

He wouldn't have thought Naruto capable of noticing that.

"That fight will be the one to decide how this all turns out." The enemy answered. "Everything that happens here won't matter if our respective member down there fails."

Sasuke doubted that their side would exactly "win" even if Orochitama won.

At least he hoped one of the people down there was Orochitama. He'd hate for there to have somehow been a third person to show up that could do all that.

"Then why are we fighting? We could just wait until Orochi-Lady wins. Why fight at all?!"

Sasuke stood behind his teammate, staring hard at the ice mirrors. Looking for some sign. Some weakness to exploit. He could almost taste how close he was to unraveling this thing.

"Because I was ordered to. A tool does as it's told."

What was Naruto playing at? Was he trying to get the enemy to stand down?

"That's bullshit! You're such an idiot!" Naruto yelled.

Nope. Not standing down.

"If all you cared about was being a good tool to survive, and you cared about this fight, you'd be down there right now, trying to make an opening against Orochi-lady." Naruto's hands waved wildly with his emotion.

That was actually a solid point. If Orochitama was the threat, the three nin would be best served throwing all the power they could at her.

"Naruto." Sasuke hissed. "Stop giving the enemy tactical advice!"

Naruto didn't even glance at him.

"But you don't care about the mission." Naruto continued. "You care about Zabuza! If you leave us, we'll be able to help Kakashi-sensei. You aren't a tool! You care about Zabuza and are willing to risk the mission to save him!"

Sasuke wasn't so sure that was the reason, but Naruto's logic was, shockingly, sound. What had happened to his teammate over the course of this mission?

The enemy hesitated.

"You're right." The enemy responded with the sad voice of winter. "I care for Zabuza more than anything. Thank you for reminding me of my priorities. I must finish you quickly."

Several things happened at once. The ice user began to shoot out of one of the mirrors just as an explosion rocked overhead. Sasuke's eyes finally managed to get a decent glimpse of the enemy moving.

Which also let him see a steaming stone fall into the path of their foe. The speed at which they were moving, resulted in a thunderous crack.

Something from the fight below. Which always resulted in a distraction.

Sasuke once again bolted for one of the gaps in the cage of mirrors.

And this time, he succeeded.

The images of the Hunter Nin was once more in all the mirrors, though they all had a crack in their mask stretching about a finger's length.

Sasuke smiled in triumph. Now they could fight from two sides.

"So. You were able to get out. I was sloppy."

"Thanks for that." Sasuke smirks. "A mistake I'll make you regret!"

Now they had a shot.
-

Mei was concerned. The Snake Sannin was keeping their distance from her, making no attempt to close the gap that formed between them as she ran through the small town.

It's almost as if the woman cared about the villagers' well being, but that didn't seem very likely.

Or, possibly more concerning, is that she had some sort of intention on village. That might be something she has to look to. But not a thought she could afford to spare currently. Whatever the hesitation was, it allowed her to keep and even gain a little bit of a lead on her dash to the docks.

Docks that were apparently being overrun by spiders.

Hundreds of creepy crawlies the size of a cat crawled everywhere the eye could see. Mei shivered in revulsion and barely restrained from taking her first action of burning them all immediately.

The last thing she needed was their product burn to the ground.

Instead she shaped a dragon of water from the sea and had it plow through the webs, chomping at errant spiders with hungry jaws.

Mei leaped through the hole left open by her attack and spotted something.

Ninja. Plural. Dozens of them.

And all of them pausing in their work to see her dramatic entrance. All of them either holding a storage scroll, or putting some of the boxes from the warehouse into a storage.

The ninja all wore a forehead protector with a musical note on it, and they had already completely cleaned out one of the warehouses.

That's why Orochimaru was stalling. This wasn't about the bridge. It was about the company. Stealing all of the companies assets is almost the same thing as stealing the company itself.

Mei had to stop this now, before they hit any more of Gato's warehouses.

Well, if there was one thing Mei did know, it was how to deal with a large group of enemy ninja in one go.

"Yoton: Lava Bomb!"

The dense ball of lava leapt from her mouth, set to explode in the midst of the enemy outside, killing most of the ninja.

Instead a glob of an odd golden material intercepted the attack, carrying the lava into the ocean, where it sunk with hissing cracks.

Mei turned to look where it came from. Another ninja, dressed like the rest, stood there with six arms, red skin, and three eyes stood before her. The man's chakra wasn't particularly impressive but what was there felt potent in a way she hadn't ever encountered before.

His chakra also felt foul and hungry for death.

"What are you?" She asked in disgust.

"You know the plan. Scatter!" The red creature ordered, sending the ninja scurrying with just their storage scrolls. Anything not sealed was left behind.

Mei was pleased to note that the warehouse with the Mist's supplies appeared to still be full. They hadn't gotten to it yet.

But she had time to prepare here. There was not the mist in the air that there was at the last fight, diluting her acid cloud. She just needed to clean up the trash quickly, all the while building up her defense.

"You should consider serving a new master. This one is about to get you killed." Mei taunted.

The monster laughed. "That's rich, coming from you."

Mei's lips twitched.

"True enough. But that's going to change soon. Too bad you won't live to see it." Mei stated, "Yoton: Burning Cloud!"

A rolling cloud of mist began to billow out from her, barely visible in the sunlight. Anyone caught in the mist would die the first time they breath it in. Acid did terrible things to the lungs.

Her foe, realizing the danger, leapt back and fired an arrow of the same golden material from before. The spiraling missile almost cracking the air like a whip. An impressive shot from an arrow.

Mei grabbed it out of the air with one hand.

She released the arrow as it began to bubble and melt. The monstrous man stared at her in shock. She blew him a kiss.

A surge of her acid went with it.

Then the man vomited that same gold substance all over himself. The substance spreading over his body quickly in an improvised armor. Intelligent. It would let him weather her acid if he covered his eyes too.

Then he charged at her, catching her by surprise, so much so his hand managed to brush against her hair; doing no damage to it thankfully.

She grabbed the appendage he had helpfully given her. With her free hand she slammed his stomach and released a torrent of lava. His body went flying back. His arm stayed in her hand.

"You should have run like the rest of them." Mei tsked.

"Yes. He should have." A familiar voice called. "Futon: Wind Wall!"

A surge of wind blew through the area, making Mei stick herself to the ground with chakra to keep herself from being blown away. If she'd reacted in time, she'd have manage to send a fire ball into it and at her foe. Instead the wind blew away her gathered acid and brought her once again to even footing with Sannin.

Said Sannin was ignoring her.

"Kidomaru-kun." The woman said with the tone of voice that might be expected of a mom that found her child had stolen her kunai and hurt themselves. A voice of chiding and fear. The Snake Sannin was pressing a hand to the stump of the missing arm; the bottom arm on the right.

The closest Mei had seen to an opening yet.

"Yoton: World Shaking Blast!" Mei shouted, releasing her strongest technique forward and immediately leaped backwards.

She was in the blast radius.

The lava consumed her vision and the various warehouses were now on fire, the webs placed around were being consumed by flame. And that was before it had even hit anything. The air was ripped asunder as the technique hit. The very ocean and land shaking from the force. The blowback threw her out towards the ocean. Not enough to hurt her, but the blowback was more extreme than she expected.

That is, until she saw the massive gate with an angry face emblazoned on it.

The Snake Summoner walked around from behind the gate, a now much less monstrous ninja in a bridal carry. A frown on the pale woman's face.

"Was all this really necessary?" Orochitama asked sadly, gesturing to the burning buildings.

"You aren't an opponent I can take lightly." Mei acknowledged. The only respect she was currently willing to give. But the level of care being shown for a subordinate is not one Mei would have guessed Orochimaru capable of. Something was wrong.

"Well, once again, ninja burn down a resource rather than share it." Orochitama shakes her head. "You want it so bad, there is still a half filled container of exploding tags in there. Have at it."

With that, the other woman began to walk away.

Well that was a trap if she'd ever heard of one. No one just hands over a resource like that, regardless of how kind they were.

But for the same reason no one would hand it over, she also couldn't ignore it.

Mei took a moment to release a water technique into the air to douse the flames on the warehouses. It worked, but the buildings wouldn't stand for long. Warehouses weren't exactly built to do much but stop wind and rain.

Mei found the crate, exactly where she last saw it. Top open and everything.

She checked the box for seals or active tags.

Nothing.

She checked under it for any sort of pressure plate.

Nothing.

She got a broom from nearby and poked it into the box, and even tipped it in several directions.

Nothing.

Whatever trap was there, she couldn't sense it.

Finally, Mei had no choice. She had to act quickly. Orochitama might have just left here to finish the fight with Zabuza. She needed to move now, and get back to the bridge.

She took the gamble.

Mei grabbed hold of the crate and began to pick it up to move it on to one of her storage seals. As she did, she felt akin to two needles jamming into her hand.

Mei screamed and pulled her hand back, a brown snake now dangling from the appendage.

"I fucking knew it!" Mei yelled before she fell to the ground gasping. Neurotoxin making it difficult to breath.

Notes:

I also recommend visiting the story on Spacebattles Forum, I'd love for people to participate in the discussion and interact.
threads/orochimama-naruto-si.858340/

Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Momochi Zabuza did not care for how his fight was turning out. He'd had the advantage for a while, he'd thought. He'd managed to make the Copy Ninja bleed. If he could drag the fight out the Copy Ninja might even bleed out from the hit he got in when Mei's little light show ignited over the bridge.

But just when he was feeling confident dogs, not wolves, fucking dogs, burst out of the ground and fixed him in place with jaws that bit down to bone. The dogs could easily kill him from their positions, numerous important veins were inches from ivory jaws of the six dogs latched onto his body. It would be a bloody and painful way to go.

Kakashi showed himself to be either very thorough or too softhearted to have a man be ripped limb from limb. The Konoha ninja was gathering chakra in his hand, so much that Zabuza could see it with the naked eye. Then light began to spark and scream.

He was out of tricks. He was going to die. There was no way that Kakashi would be able to miss and there was no way an attack of that power wouldn't kill him.

He would die, and he couldn't help but be surprised on what his last thoughts were turning towards. Not past regrets. Not how his ambitions would go unfulfilled. Not even a last compliment to his opponent.

All he could think was that it was good that Mei and Orochitama would probably pick up Haku after he died.

Then an ice mirror manifested beside him.

His tool, his apprentice, didn't get a chance to touch the ground before hand wreathed in lighting punched straight through Haku.

Blood splattered against Zabuza's face, even as the hounds holding him disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The attack missed Zabuza entirely, but he felt it pierce his heart. Haku would die. A wound like that couldn't be fixed, too many vital organs were in the chest. Haku would die. For him.

He buried his emotion.

"Well done Haku." He congratulated, hoping his apprentice could hear it.

Then he swung his sword to cut through both Kakashi and Haku. The Copy Nin leaped back, cradling the limp body in his arms as he did so. A meaningless gesture to a corpse.

"Wait!" Kakashi called. "He isn't-"

"Save me your platitudes Hatake." Zabuza shook his head and took a step forward. His body screamed at him. The muscles responsible for moving his legs had been mauled by the mutts from before. Walking, much less running, would be painful for a while.

"Demon of the Mist?" A voice mocked from the mist before Gato and more than three dozen thugs walked forward. "I see your reputation was undeserved."

Gato was here? Why? He should be hiding somewhere so the snake slithering around didn't get him.

Then again, it's not like he could hide anywhere on the island that would keep him safe. But arriving at the site of a ninja battle with thugs didn't seem like his thing. He only cared about power and money.

"Why are you here Gato? This is my fight."

"Ha! A fight you are losing." Gato stated as he walked forward, strolling towards where Kakashi had placed Haku's body. Ill intent towards the corpse.

Just because Haku had...humiliated Gato and almost broke his wrist.

Fuck. Gato was here to kill them all because of his wounded pride. He didn't want to kill the moron. No, that wasn't correct. He really wanted to kill him, but his goals mandated that he not. The Mist rebellion would still have use for him.

"Leave Gato. I'll still give you the bridge builder's head."

"No. I'm going to clean up your mess. And take out all you bleeding and tired ninja in one go." The man sneered.

Well if he was that stupid, no saving him now.

"Ara ara, you really haven't been paying attention, Gato-san." Zabuza turned and watched as Orochitama approached, a pale and twitching Mei thrown over her shoulder with all the care of a bag of rice. The answer to how that fight went apparent, as Tama appeared to be untouched minus some frizzy hair.

"Who the fuck are you?" Gato asked in surprise, though the man seemed to realize that he might actually be in some trouble, because he began to slowly step back.

"Why Gato! I'm the one who just took your empire."

The business tycoon looked confused.

Then the sound a flute split the air and giant oni of bulging muscle with a blindfold landed on the bridge. A meter wide safe sat under the thing's arm like a kid holding a soccer ball.

"Is that-" Gato started.

"Your own personal safe where you've stored all your liquid cash and valuable items? Why yes it is." The Sannin says as she dumps Mei's body and examines her fingernails.

Then another Orochitama appeared, a solid clone of some sort. More importantly was what this copy was holding. Under her arm, wriggling like an unruly sack of potatoes, was Haku. His apprentice was alive.

"What? How did-" he had seen and smelled blood. He wasn't aware of any clones that allowed for that.

Zabuza glanced to the body from before. It rested in a pool of blood. Too much blood. Kakashi should have pierced it through the heart, which should have stopped most of the bleeding.

"Oh that? Just a Blood Clone. Terribly messy things without much use. They require blood equal to their mass to be made. A local boar donated to the cause." Orochitama stated, Haku still under her arm and hanging his head in embarrassment.

All his energy seemed to leave him at once. He was tired. He was sore. He had no reason to fight anymore, and the only person in the world he gave half a damn about was alive.

This job sucked. He was over Wave.

"Where the hell did you get my safe? You think some illusion will scare me!" Gato shouted.

"Ara ara! Of course I don't expect that to scare you." The snake woman said as she released Haku. The woman took slow, deliberate steps towards the shipping tycoon. A smile that would look kind, if not for her cold eyes. "I plan on handling that part myself."

Oh yeah. Him. Well, it wasn't his problem anymore.
-

His fight ended abruptly, in a way he half expected, and one of the most powerful ninja to ever turn traitor was threatening a group of civilian thugs. There was a lot there Kakashi figured he should care about. The major thing capturing his attention was the unconscious woman tied up on the Sanin's shoulder.

Terumi Mei. One of Mist's few S-ranked ninjas. One that was still a part of Mist and absolutely shouldn't have be cavorting with one her villages worst traitors. Meaning there was either a new S-ranked traitor about, Zabuza was just a deniable asset, or this was about the rumors he'd been hearing about a budding rebellion in Mist. None of these options were good and had the possibility of breaking the tenuous balance between the various hidden villages.

This was well out of his paygrade, much less his student's paygrade.

"You think I'm gonna get scared off by a pair of tits and some illusions?" Gato sneered.

It was refreshing to see some constants though. Some people were just too dumb to live.

"Oh Gato, you flatterer." Orochitama said in a far too complimentary voice. "While they do inspire awe, they are hardly the important things at the moment. The first is the song of the people."

Kakashi heard it as soon as it was pointed out. People. Lots of them, moving down the bridge. He had an idea of who it was, but he didn't live this long as a ninja without being cautious. He half turned, so he could watch both Orochitama and the oncoming noise. The beating of metal, the stomping of feet, and wood striking the ground grew louder as the people of Wave stepped through the mist, a rhythmic cry keeping them going. The cry was less a song, and more the sound of a people collectively releasing frustration all at once. At the head of the mob stood Tsunami, with a bloodstained apron and a katana held forward to direct the people.

Tazuna looked at his daughter in wonder and fear, as his eyes fixed on the blood stains in her hair and on her hands. Kakashi felt a similar feeling. Tsunami was impressive, and was deserving of awe right then; she was a hero and mother after all. He had apparently made one of his clients defend themselves, and someone almost certainly died. He just hoped the only people to die were Gato's men.

Kakashi did a quick check on his students. Sakura was bleeding. Badly. He'd need to give her medical assistance immediately. Sasuke looked like a deer just as it stumbled on a predator. His fight ended abruptly and with no closure for him and he appeared to be struggling with that. Naruto on the other hand. Well.

"Rah! Lets get him!" The boy shouted, heedless of the needles ticking out his body as he marched in time with everyone else.

Kakashi quickly motioned for his sole female student to come over to him before flopping down onto the ground next to Zabuza. The two of them were exhausted, and Gato's group wouldn't be a threat for long, considering the Sannin and the crossbows that were being leveled by the mob that he was sure had been delivered to them by a mysterious snake themed benefactor.

Zabuza beckoned his own charge over to him.

"Are you hurt?" The Demon of the Mist asked.

"No, Zabuza-sama."

The former Mist ninja sagged in relief.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura shouted as her face went through a look of relief and apprehension over the fact that her teacher was both ignoring the threat still present on the bridge and sitting down next to the man that had been trying to kill them moments before.

"Sakura. Come over here. We need to stop that bleeding." Kakashi slightly pulled the girl to sit down in front of him to allow better access to the wound. The wound was shallow, but wide, blood loss and infection were the only concerns. He handed his student a blood replenishing pill.

"You- you peasants! You think you can take me out! You're just sheep! You can't stand up to-"

"Oh, Gato." Orochitama said. She didn't shout, but her voice was smooth as silk, but sharp as steel and instantly silenced the man. "That's the thing about lambs. When you aren't paying attention, they suddenly become lions."

The bridge echoed with the sound of crossbows clanking into firing position.

Gato grew pale. "P-protect me or you're all fired!" He yelled as he ran back into his crowd of thugs.

Sakura, realizing what was about to happen, looked away.

"No." Kakashi said, as kindly as he could. "Don't look away. This is happening because of our actions. Even good causes are paid for in blood."

At least the girl would learn the lesson from these thugs dying, and not her friends and family. The girl hesitated a moment before following his order. Kakashi caught a brief glimpse of someone jumping into the thugs back line, but he didn't manage to see what it was.

Then a single volley of bolts ended the fight. Well, a single volley of bolts followed by a snake the size of a covered wagon appearing.

The rest of Gatos men quickly gave up and the battle ended as the Free People of Wave captured the former employees of Gato's Shipping Corporation.

In the distance, a flare was launched into the air. Then a second. A third. Again and again until a dozen flares sparkled in the air in the direction of the shore of the mainland.

Kakashi glanced to Zabuza who gave him an inquisitive look back.

If it wasn't Zabuza, then it was Orochitama setting it up? It certainly wouldn't have been Konoha reinforcments, there's no way they'd have arrived yet. Even at best estimates there would be another twelve hours before they arrived.

He turned his questioning gaze to Orochitama.

She smiled in response and said simply, "Gato has twelve docks where he stores all his goods and ships."

Oh.

Oh shit.

Orochitama just became one of the richest people on the continent. She just stole all of Gato's business assets in the span of a few hours. Meaning Orochitama was working with other ninja. He knew she probably had at least a few minions, but the scale of this? That would take hundreds of ninja.

Unless... She was working for someone else? Now that was a terrifying thought. Who could possibly offer the kind of power to get Snake Sannin to work for them?

"Well, that went about as well as could be expected." Orochitama said as she looked around before turning to Zabuza. "So, would you say that your contract is finished and you are available for another one?"

Wait. What? She was trying to hire Zabuza? Now!? What could she possibly need from the Mist Ninja? Zabuza seemed to find her timing about as ridiculous as Kakashi did, as the man looked at her as if she had just grown a second head and put on a pink tutu.

Though when it came to the mad whirlwind of madness Orochitama, Kakashi probably shouldn't be that surprised if that exact scenario happened. Clearly the woman lived to do things for shock value.

"I see you need some time still." The woman chirped, "I'll let you stew on it for a bit. I'm going to help them with the prisoners and take care of Mei."

"Take care of her?" Zabuza asked meaningfully.

"Oh no. Nothing so grim. I'm just going to wake her up, give her a gift, and send her on her away whole and healthy. Well, healthy minus the bruises and aches from our wild time together." The woman said with a saucy wink.

Kakashi shuddered. He could not wait to get that woman out of his life and put this mission behind him.

Awkward silence descended over them. What do you say to the guy who was just trying to kill you? "Hey you were pretty good at almost killing me. Don't do it again." It didn't exactly flow off the tongue. Sakura also sat very still and quiet too. Though that might the pain pills catching up with her now that the adrenaline was gone. Either way, he sat about retying the bandages on his student, this time with some ointments to help healing and avoid infection.

"Is your kid okay?" Kakashi asked mildly.

"Haku is a good tool. He'd inform me if something was wrong."

A frown fell over Kakashi's face like a funeral shroud. Oh his history with that sentiment. It took him forever to realize he didn't actually believe it, but his stubborn desire to stick to it wrote checks that those around him had to cash.

"You know." Kakashi said as he gently slid the bandage into place. "You know how you tell the difference between a tool and a person?"

"Spare me your bleeding heart speech Hatake."

Kakashi ignored him and continued. "When I find my kunai to be undamaged I don't feel relief." The words slapped Zabuza in the face and the man sat up straighter.

"Come on Sakura, lets find you a place to lie down." Kakashi said as he stood.

Sakura stood and followed him. "Oh. I could use the sleep now." She said distantly.

"Me too, Sakura. Me too."
-

"And you're sure you didn't give her a double dose of poison?" I asked my little summon.

"Yes. The antidote you gave her should be enough to save her pathetic existence." Azuma responded.

I gave a sigh of relief. Mei needed to be able to become the new Mizukage eventually. The Mist rebels would really need her. She had injured Kidomaru. Hell, she pulled off one of his arms, but I couldn't hold it against her. She was just doing her job. Doing what she thought was right.

She was just doing what the shinobi world had set her up to do.

Mei gave a groan of pain. It seemed she was waking up.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mei-chan!"

The woman's eyes shot open and she attempted to stand up, and instead stumbled and fell to the ground.

"I wouldn't do that. Neurotoxin's can be quite troublesome! You should be fine a few days though."

"You! You set me up!" She said drunkenly.

Not the first line I was expecting, but I could deal with it.

"Ara ara. I knew you couldn't resist the appeal of my box." I teased. The box of exploding tags was not an insignificant value; even half full the crate would have been worth tens of millions of ryo. Something a ragtag rebellion wouldn't be able to recoup easily.

Combine that with the looming timetable of having to worry about me running back to kill Zabuza, and she had to make a snap decision. In the end she trusted her senses when they told her there was no trap. Azuma was a sneaky bastard.

Mei glared up at me hatefully. "Why am I still alive?"

"Because we're done. Gato has been taken care of. I've taken all of the companies assets, including forty-five of his fifty ships. I have all of his bank accounts. I've grabbed all his contracts. Zabuza lost his fight. It's over. You have no reason to be here any longer, and I imagine whatever cover you are using to stay here is getting thin, so you would need to be on your way."

"That doesn't explain why I'm alive." She growled again.

"Sure it does. We aren't enemies anymore, and I sympathize with your cause. Yagura is a monster."

Mei continued to glare.

"Such a scary look!" I tut. "It's the truth. Look, I'm even giving you all the remaining exploding tags back."

Mei looked in surprise to the crate she had been leaning against.

"You expect me to believe that you'll just give this to us out of the kindness of your heart?"

I place a hand on my chest. "Mei-chan! Of course I would! In fact I'll go even better. I'll help you take down Yagura when you are ready to move against him."

Mei's entire demeanor changed.

My help against Yagura and his forces greatly enhanced the probability the coup going off successfully. Few things in life were a guarantee but my participation put their chances somewhere close to that.

"And what would you want in exchange?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh, I've been building this brand new village. A quaint little thing. I would just ask for new and reformed Mist to give us a mutual defense pact." I said, knowing full well such a pact was also a boon for them. Having a Sannin to call in would a great deterrent to anyone looking at a Mist that was fresh out of a civil war.

"How do we know you aren't just going to jump in on Yagura's side?"

I came prepared for just that question.

"I happen to have just acquired quite the windfall! I thought Wave would be a wonderful place to find some business partners!" I pull out a small stack of papers, already turned to one of the pages. "I am turning those assets into a shipping business. I will own one third of the company, a third will be owned by the people of Wave, and a third will be owned by this really misguided but hot-"

"Me!? You're giving me a third of the company?" She stated in shock as she stared at the paper.

"Of course! I feel regular trade with the Land of Water could greatly benefit us both."

Mei slightly poured over the contract, looking for loopholes. It was a damn fine deal, and I was basically just giving her hundreds of millions of ryo.

"I- this is-" She struggled for a bit longer before finally settling on a question. "Why is it called the Pink Canoe?"

"No reason." I say quickly. "You in? This is a limited time offer."

"For now. Yes." She said.

"Wonderful! We'll have to have a girls night and discuss the details! We'll have dinner. A drink. Sexy lingerie. A pillow fight. Overthrow a military dictatorship. It'll be great."

"...Maybe I'm not in." She hesitated.

"Nonsense, Mei-chan. This will be great."

I'll wait till later to tell her that our slogan is going to be "Taking your load."

Notes:

Sorry for the long wait. I had some depression issues and some job issues that delayed writing. But here it is and I'm pretty happy with it.

You all rock and I appreciate you!

Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Chapter Text

I returned to the bridge without Mei, the woman going her separate way. She had people that would be wondering what was taking her so long back in Mist very soon if she didn't get back quickly. I was then in Wave alone, all my soldiers had retreated with our stolen goods, for now. We'd wait until Konoha finished sticking their nose into the area before reopening everything here.

I needed to get out of Wave too. I had no question in my mind that Kakashi had managed to somehow get a message off, even if he had to pay for a courier to run there himself. I didn't need to still be here when reinforcements arrived. Anything from a team of highly skilled jounin to the Hokage himself could arrive. Best for everyone if I wasn't still here.

I still had three more things to do before I could complete my full Wave bingo card though.

Things had calmed down. All of Gato's men were going through the process of being restrained and relieved of their weapons while a very tired Sasuke and an energetic Naruto watched. Kakashi still sat by Zabuza, an odd air of commiseration between the men. Haku was standing stock still as a half conscious Sakura leaned against him.

"Sorry for ducking out like that. I had to make sure Mei was taken care of properly!" I said to announce my presence.

Kakashi sagged further and smacked his head against the guardrail behind him.

"If you are here to kill us, please do it now, it's only polite." Kakashi groaned.

"Ara ara. Kakashi-kun, it's no good for a young man like you to talk like that." I tutted. "You have much longer to live. No, I'm just here for some last few things."

I turned my gaze to Zabuza. A moment of staring had the man give a shrug.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm in. You'll have to get me out of here though. I'm not gonna be able to run and keep up with you."

I clapped my hands together. "Excellent!"

"Haku-chan. Are you coming along for the ride?" I asked the ice nin and caught a glance at Kakashi. The man was trying very hard to not seem interested and perplexed about what I was doing.

"I go where Zabuza-sama goes." Haku said without hesitation.

"Wonderful! Please get Zabuza-kun ready for travel." I order as I walk towards the still sitting Kakashi. Then, I bowed at the waist towards the man.

"Kakashi-kun. I apologize."

"Sorry for what?" Kakashi asked slowly, as he very carefully shifted his weight to be ready to move quickly.

"For all the trouble in this mission and the massive amount of debriefing and paperwork you're going to have to do." I said genuinely. Kakashi's whole team would probably be questioned for two or three days straight after all this.

Kakashi turned pale as death.

"I'm just here to say the last goodbyes before leaving. Feel free to lay there and look non-threatening while also looking for a way to kill me." I said in a motherly tone and then turned my back to him. "Sakura-chan. I didn't speak with you much, but it was nice meeting you."

"Huh? Oh. Um. It was nice and weird meeting you." She slurred.

"You have the makings of a great kunoichi. You just need to apply yourself a bit more and pick a specialty to go into, and you'll go quite far. If you are as smart as I think you are, medic would be a good place to start."

Sakura stared at me blankly.

Probably better to have this sort of conversation another time, but it was all I had.

I walked to my next two targets.

"Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left."

"Awww. You gotta go Orochi Lady?" Naruto whined. Like full on four year old told to go to bed whined.

"Yes, Naruto-kun. Best for everyone if I head out before I bring more trouble down on everyone. Though I wasn't going to just disappear without saying goodbye to the future Hokage."

His face turned bright as the noon sun, and the trip became so very worth it.

"You bettcha! I'll be sure to be Hokage and make sure everyone treats you nice, dattebayo!"

"I'm sure you will Naruto-kun. If you listen to your teacher and do things the right way, and not just the way you want when training."

"You bet!" He yelled before smacking a fist into his palm.

Cute kid.

Sasuke watched me with suspicion, still trying to figure out my angle. The look on his young face though made him look more pouty than he intended though. A look that would serve him well if here were in a teenage boy band. That was a face tweens would put on a poster.

"Good-bye Sasuke-kun. Keep healthy and pick up a hobby or something. A guitar would greatly help your future."

Sasuke looked at me as if I had put pants on my head and declared myself Empress.

I left him to the confusion and instead walked to Tazuna.

"Tazuna-san. I wanted to say goodbye. I'll have to come back sometime to see the bridge finished."

"Leaving so soon!?" Tazuna gasped, "I thought for sure you'd stay for the party!"

"As much as I would enjoy staying and getting drunk and handsy, I have to go. If I stay too long more trouble will show up for you." I give a shrug of my shoulders.

"Oh. Well I wish you the best! When you do come back you won't even recognize Wave anymore!"

I didn't tell him I'd be coming back much sooner than that. Don't need him tipping off Konoha about my interest in Wave yet. The ownership in the Pink Canoe will get to be a pleasant surprise to everyone in a few weeks.

"Thank you Tazuna-san. I'm sure that people will soon be flooding into wave to start up trade once again. You did it. It took help, but you saved Wave."

I left the man with him standing up more straight and proud than I had ever seen before.

"Tsunami-chan." I called out. The woman looked over towards me. Her hair frizzed, blood splatter still on her, a fierce image in contrast to her kind smile.

"Orochitama!" She responded. "Thank you for the help. We couldn't have managed all this without you."

"Yes, you could have." I responded.

Tsunami shook her head in disagreement, but didn't argue further.

"So, you're leaving?" She asked with disappointment.

"Yes. If I don't there will be another fight. Possibly even more destructive than the last one. As much as I'd love to let me show you all your appreciation, I should go now."

"Oh. I see."

Silence stretched for a moment as I found myself lingering. I'd flirted with the woman for days and she didn't seem to catch any of it. It felt odd just leaving it there.

So I stuck my foot in my mouth.

"So next time I come back, would you like to have sex?"

"Oh?" Tsunami said with confusion before widening her eyes. "Oh! Um...we are both women aren't we?" She asked in confusion.

I could hear the sounds of both Kakashi and Tazuna collapsing into hacking coughs.

"Yes." I laugh and give a shake of my head. Yeah. This sweet innocent child wasn't going to accept. "Never mind Tsunami-chan. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Instead we'll just chat, have a meal, go shopping, and plot world domination."

"Oh, that would be- wait, what was that last one?"

"Good-bye Tsunami-chan." I turn my back and grab hold of Zabuza, throwing one arm over shoulder, Haku took the other, and we left Wave behind.

There was an awkward amount of silence for our first thirty minuets of travel.

"Sorry the nice lady didn't want to sleep with you?" Haku finally said hesitantly.

I gave a snort.

"It happens. It's probably for the best. I'd probably bring more trouble into her life."

We lapsed to silence again. In hindsight I'd feel sorry for them, how does one comfort their new boss on a failed romance? That is if Zabuza hadn't felt the need to open his mouth.

"So what am I getting paid?"

I suppressed a sigh. Back to business.
-

Nara Shikaku had a talent for being able to tell when things had gone to shit before anyone else noticed. Usually it was small details out of place in the field, or the way a client avoided mentioning something, or one memorable time by the way he knew Fire Fletchings reacted to high pitched noises. It was rare that he was absolutely certain things had gone to shit in the fist word of a message.

He saw "Orochimaru" and immediately ordered a team assembled. As he read through the message he knew which one it should be. He read through the missive. It was short and light on details, but that was normal for Kakashi. He tended to give more information in person. It was a good security measure. Shikaku handed the report to the Hokage personally but didn't remain a moment longer. Their Jinchuriki, the Last Uchiha, and one of their most promising jounin were staring down the edge of a very large blade. There were few that could offer backup.

So, Shikaku picked up the only ones he knew stood a chance that were currently in Konoha. Pulling them all away from their other responsibilities with a single word.

It was nice to be with his old team again, though difficult to enjoy with the task ahead.

"Yosh! If we don't get to Kakashi in time I'll run around Konoha on my hands five hundred times!" A voice screamed to the heavens.

Well, his team plus Gai.

"Quiet. We are starting to get close." Shikaku chastised.

Gai quieted down immediately. The Jounin Commander would be more irritated with the man if he didn't know he was just trying to keep spirits up. That was hard to do when you knew you were running into Orochimaru and another unnamed S-Class threat.

"Shikaku." Inoichi stated. "Arriving tired won't help things."

The Nara had to mentally weigh that information. Going tired would be bad, arriving to find dead bodies would be worse.

"Fine. Five minutes to drink some water and catch our breath."

Choza gave a pleased grunt.

The team jumped down from the trees and began to steady their breath. Shikaku took a long drink from his canteen.

"So what are the mission details? You mentioned Hatake's team and Orochimaru but nothing else." Inoichi asked, leaning back into the tree opposite of Shikaku.

"Not much. Kakashi's always light on details. But we know for certain that one Momochi Zabuza is there, plus intel was received that another S-class ninja was on its way."

"Orochimaru?" Choza asked.

"No, another one, identity unkown."

"Orochimaru, Zabuza, and another unkown?" Gai asked in a grave tone. "I don't know that this team is ready for that."

It was rare that Gai, of all people, would admit such a thing.

"Orochimaru is not sided with Zabuza and the unkown at the time of the message. In fact, Kakashi stated there was some tentative alliance."

"With Orochimaru?" Inoichi gave about as much credit to that thought as he would to his daughter declaring she intended to marry a Nara. Somewhere in the range of hell freezing over.

"I don't doubt there are ulterior motives, but there is a good chance that our team buckled down and let the big guns have it out."

"Sounds like Kakashi's style." Choza commented.

"This could all be a trap and we're about to run into more firepower than we can handle." Inoichi stated. "But we also can't pass up finding out more about what Orochimaru's been doing. He's been dark on our radar for years."

"Primary mission is recovering Team 7." Choza spoke up.

Shikaku didn't argue that the sentence should have been a question. It didn't matter what else they did, Choza would be busy making sure the kids all got out, and by extension that meant all of them would be making that decision too.

"When we arrive on site target the unknown with everything we have if we have the shot. Taking them out will make our job easier, regardless of which way the chips fall. Zabuza would be the next target."

He received a group of nods. Ino-Shika-Cho didn't need anything beyond that, years of teamwork had drilled into them an ability to plan and move around each other to become far more than their individual parts. Throw in Gai who's plans were always straight forward and easy to plan around, and they had a team that stood a good chance of beating Orochimaru.

"Lets go." He called.

The group dashed off.

It took only a few more minutes to arrive on scene. A massive bridge the likes of which Shikaku had never seen before, sat before them. In moments they had managed to jump onto the bridge, hearts pounding and weapons in steel gripped hands. Just as they were about to crest the side of the bridge a mop of silver hair poked over the side.

"Yo." Hatake said with all the energy of a corpse.

The team slid to a stop as Shikaku began to check for any signs of a genjutsu.

"Kakashi! My eternal rival! We have come to aid you in your efforts against this mighty foe!" Gai yelled.

Kakashi glanced to the man in green spandex.

Then he looked back to Shikaku.

"Go ahead and bring your team up Commander. Things are already wrapped up."

"Kakashi! Always with that hip attitude!" Gai bemoaned but the rest of the team relaxed just a bit.

It was old hat, that interaction between the two, but it was one that an outsider wouldn't easily know how to replicate with genjutsu. Still, ever cautious, he the team went to the top and peaked over.

Civilians, more than a hundred of them, were shoving bound thugs into the back of some sort of cart. All of Team 7 was accounted for, though bloodied, tired, and in one case possibly drugged. His team finished getting on the bridge and Shikaku took charge.

"Report Hatake."

"All hostiles have left the area. Battle began about five hours ago. I engaged with Zabuza while Orochita- uh Orochimaru engaged with the unknown S-Class nin. Orochimaru won. Zabuza backed down after his client tried to double cross him after which the locals overthrew his client."

Alarm bells went off in the Nara's head. Kakashi wasn't the type for a slip of the tongue. But there was a more important question.

"How are you certain Orochimaru has left the area?"

"Well she said good-bye, made one last pass at my client's daughter, then grabbed a man to do who knows what with."

There were too many things in that sentence that needed a whole lot of context. Shikaku's mind whirled as he attempted to arrange the words in some sort of sense.

"Kakashi." Inoichi stated, stepping forward. "I believe I speak for my entire team when I say this." The blond cleared his throat. "What the actual fuck?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Orochimaru is now a promiscuous busty lady now." Kakashi turned a page in his book. "Oh she also managed to steal all of the money from Gato of Gato Shipping and now owns more money than some Daimyos."

Silence reigned for a few more moments.

That had so many implications. That was a lot of money that Orochimaru could use for very not nice things. The other part...well he was still working on that.

"It might be a fake out. We should still be on guard." Shikaku ordered, trying to get his team to stay alert.

"Yeah, she could have been lying at breakfast." Kakashi nodded, still covering most of his face with his book.

"That's not funny Kakashi." Choza spoke up. "This is serious."

Kakashi lowered his book and Shikaku saw a man stressed to the point of snapping looking back at him. Kakashi wasn't joking.

"I am being serious. I had breakfast with her. Several times."

There was too much going on, but there was a question Shikaku had to ask.

"Kakashi...did you fuck Orochimaru?"

"No. Though she did show up and give training tips to my team, fed us lobster, caviar, and wagyu beef. She also stated that there's a team of S-class ninja's running around that we should look out for that also want to kill her. Oh, also that Obito is alive and a member!" The man let out a tight laugh. "So, ya know...just the usual."

What? That was...what?

Right. Kakashi might have gone crazy. Best to confirm this with the rest of them.

"Why don't you sit down for a bit Kakashi. We'll take it from here." Shikaku said carefully as the man shrugged and sat back against the wall, one more burying his face into his book. Shikaku turned to his team. "Separate Team 7. Kindly. Don't let them think something is wrong, but don't give them a chance to come up with a cover story together. Inoichi, check Kakashi for mental tampering."

Shikaku felt a headache coming. This would bring days of work for him, he wouldn't be coming home at night even, his wife was going to get pissy with, he'd probably actually have to spend time with Danzo. All that money going into Orochimaru's hands would mean the Daimyo would have to be brought in and-

"Hey." Choza stated, putting a hand on Shikaku's shoulder. Smiling and happy. "They're all alive."

Then his red headed friend walked over to the Uchiha. The Nara changed his mindset with a force of will. Any day that all of a team made it home was a good day.

"Shikaku." Inoichi said, standing up from where he had placed a hand on Kakashi.

He was already done? That had to mean that Kakashi didn't fight it, something the man always did.

"Let me guess. No signs of tampering."

"None. Considering who we are dealing with, we still need to get him back for deeper testing, but I'd say he's a very stressed but sane man."

Fuck. That means he'd have to put this in a report.

"Nose goes for telling the Hokage that his student's a floozie." Shikaku announced and touched his nose.

A moment passed "Fuck! Come on guys? Really? Don't make me." The Yamanaka whined.

"If I may." Kakashi offered suddenly. Causing Inoichi and Shikaku to turn towards him. "I've got a very energetic gennin that would absolutely love to tell the 'Old Man' all about the nice pretty lady he met on his mission."

A grin tugged at Shikaku's mouth.

"There's a reason you are my favorite jounin." Shikaku smiled.

"Just so long as I get to be there. With a camera." Kakashi said as he turned his page.

Sometimes, when faced with the massive amount of bullshit that the ninja world threw at you, you could choose to suffer or find a way to laugh and ride the wave. That usually meant gallows humor, which this was, because someone would almost certainly be dying from it.

Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I returned to Sound with foreboding knots in my stomach. I'd left a den of mad scientists and killers alone with a mad scientist and killer in charge. There was a solid chance I would come back to find they'd wiped out all the civilians near by, a civil war, a pile of flaming wreckage, or all three. Making this entire trip rather useless.

I was hoping for only minor cosmetic damage and less then five deaths.

I was an optimist like that.

"These are your guys?" Zabuza asked as we drew close, sensing my ninja patrols around the area.

Sound was more a series of hideouts than any sort of central base, and as such didn't really have posted guards at the entrance, just patrols that went through the area on a regular basis.

"Yes. Just a bit further and we'll be at the entrance. I'll see to it that a medic looks after you and you are given a room to recover."

The missing nin gave a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Will Haku be sharing a room with you?" I asked.

"Yes."/"No" The two voices said at once, with Haku turning to look at his master in shock.

"You need to operate more independently, and you staying in my room isn't going to do much."

Translation, he knew that I could kill him at my leisure and wanted to use the opportunity to teach Haku self sufficiency in case I decided to off him.

Aw, he really did care.

"I'll set up two rooms for you and Haku can come stand outside your door against your wishes on his own time." I said with a wave of dismissal.

Haku gave a squawking sound but didn't give any denial; either because I was right or he was worried I'd kill him.

Speaking of people that were worried I'd kill them, I had arrived back at base and everything wasn't on fire! As I walked down the stairs into the base there were no new marks on the wall and only one suspicious stain on the ground, so that was good!

In moments, a haggard looking Kabuto and an ecstatic Nagisa approached, the two walking briskly before coming to a stop before me and bowed on one knee.

"Orochitama-sama! There is much to report!" Nagisa said, the older man practically vibrating.

"Orochitama-sama. It is so good to see you return." Kabuto said with so much emotion it actually made me feel a bit bad. Probably what he was going for.

I straightened up. Might as well get the big stuff out of the way.

"What are the loses since I've been gone? Report." I ordered.

"We lost three labs to a cave in during an experiment on soundwaves. The cafeteria had a fire due to a genetics experiment. One scientist tried to take one of the children for an experiment, only to be handled by Gurren. Two soldiers came to blows over what shade of blue was being used in the halls which resulted in heavy cosmetic damage. Overall we had six deaths and three people were left with permanent scaring." Kabuto reported.

Not as good as I hoped but better than I feared!

"The mission? How has the acquisition of all of Gato's property gone?" I asked.

"Surprisingly well." Kabuto said with a shrug. "Only two reported kills, none of which were ours, and almost all his assets were seized. There are a few ships out at sea that we are tracking so we can acquire them, but the bulk of everything has been taken into custody. A list of all the goods is still being compiled, but there is a list in your office of everything we've taken account for so far."

Right. I still needed to get all that settled, plus I needed to figure out who I was going to assign to negotiate contracts with all of Gato's old clients, who was going to set up infrastructure for the business, and who I could get to recruit some of his old employees to work for me. I might outsource that to non ninjas though. I'd have to work on that later.

"So no trouble with other ninja?" I asked while Nagisa started wiggle in place, apparently having trouble waiting to give his report.

"We had two teams run into Kumo nin and one team that encountered some Iwa nin. All teams were able to get away with all their objectives."

Good. Sound was still a small village. The big ones didn't consider them worth chasing down. That would probably change in the coming months, but it would serve us well for the moment.

Nagisa cleared his throat to draw attention to himself. Something the old Orochimaru would have killed him for.

"Ara ara. You look to be ready to burst, this must be good. Go ahead Nagisa. Report."

"We've made so much progress!" The man blurted out, "We have more than a dozen projects that have taken huge leaps forward and due to your new rules on shared knowledge, we've combined several studies to make whole new things we hardly expected!"

"But my rules on human testing are still being upheld?" I asked, suddenly very worried.

"That's just the thing! The desire for human testing has made so many of the scientists take meticulous notes and verify results with their peers that we have reached a new height of cooperation and understanding! Just as you planned, the human testing incentive has done wonders!"

Of course they think I'm dangling human test subjects like a I would use treats to train a dog. I resolved to focus on the positive though.

"That's wonderful! What sort of breakthroughs?"

"So far we've found a seal that can produce a wide area low level genjutsu. We've developed a technique that uses sound resonance from multiple locations to make an object break apart. We've also discovered a light that seems to both help plants grow but also makes organic matter and certain colors stand out in stark contrast to their surrounds!"

Did my ninja's just make a black light?

"We also figured out how to make a bacteria that causes a person to hallucinate!"

Just when I was starting to feel proud of them.

"Wonderful work Nagisa-kun. If there is still more please compile a list and send them to my office. In the mean time, my guest needs some medical attention." I said as I gesture towards Zabuza. "Please guide him to a medic and then set up for him and his apprentice to have their own rooms."

"Yes ma'am! I'll swing by later to go over more of the nuanced discoveries as well!" The man said excitedly before turning to walk away, leaving Zabuza and Haku to stand there awkwardly for a moment before realizing that they were meant to follow the man.

I shook my head. Nagisa had more passion than sense.

"What of the other projects I gave you?" I asked Kabuto while beckoning him to follow me as I began to walk to my personal lab.

"We have continued the search for Tsunade, she remains ahead of our scouts, but they are catching up. Kimimaro isn't responding to any treatment, the best I've gotten is slowing the progression of his disease." Kabuto stated.

I had figured as much. I would likely need to call on my old teammate to get the bone user fixed up.

"Keep trying treatment, but report immediately once Tsunade is found."

"Yes ma'am." He replied dutifully.

"What of the other project?"

"The Edo Tensei? I have the room prepared and I've been adjusting it as you requested-"

"No, not that the other thing. The hobbies." I said dismissively as we rounded a corner.

Kabuto hesitated only a moment, though it was telling for the spy. He was measuring me, trying to gauge my reasonings and wondering why I put so much importance on assigning him his given task.

"There was some confusion on what exactly constitutes a hobby in the beginning, and the science staff largely find the order to be a bother, but many of the combat staff have seemed to take to the idea with surprising gusto. There is now a craft night, music night, and drama night on a weekly basis." The man admitted.

"Excellent! I will have to go to the next ones of each! I'm quite excited to see what they've done!"

It would be nice to see something besides weapons and death come out of my village.

"So, Kabuto-kun, how was the experience? I know I asked much of you in this, but how are you holding up?" I asked.

The sound of our footsteps echoed in the hall for a few moments. Kabuto was hesitating.

"Never ask me to do that again." The man finally stated with steel in his words.

"I promise to not assign you to be in charge of the entire base again." I promised. If Kabuto responded to such a position with so much emotion? Next time he'd probably defect, if he hadn't already.

"And how many different organizations did you leak information to?" I asked in the same tone I asked about how he handled the stress of the job.

Kabuto froze in place.

"Oh come now Kabuto. I know you are a spy for Danzo, and I saw Sasori's fingerprints on you. You aren't in trouble. I just want to know what I'm dealing with." I said as I continued walking down the hall, not even turning to look at my subordinate.

In several moments Kabuto finally started walking after me as well.

"I have only sent word that you seem to be changing goals to long term ones and have ceased most active operations. I hadn't had time to report about Wave and I felt that your recent...lifestyle changes were something better explained in person."

I hummed in agreement. I could see the reluctance of putting all my Tama-ness in a report. Assuming that was actually true. Regardless, I'd earn the spy's loyalty soon.

Finally, we arrived at our destination. I walked in to see Tayuya standing in the middle of a sealing array where she was placing a solid kick into the side of a tied up and gagged Gato.

"Tayuya!" I barked, causing the girl to jump in surprise. I'd never raised my voice like that to her before. "That's no way to treat a prisoner."

The young woman shot me a disbelieving look. "This fucker? The one who killed all those civilians, tried to betray the ninja he hired, and who was just promising me the god damn moon for me to let him go?"

"Yes." I respond simply, pain making it's way into my voice. The former business tycoon looked up to me with a weary hope. A hope I crushed with my next words. "Since what I'm about to do to him will be much much worse."

Tayuya gave an evil smile. "Sure thing Boss Lady. Take all the fun."

I closed my eyes and took a breath.

"Tayuya-chan. Please leave." I stated.

"Aw come on! I wanted to watch." The girl complained and I felt a weight settle on my shoulders and my chest tightened.

I pushed the feeling away as best I could.

"Go Tayuya-chan. This isn't entertainment."

My body guard gave a derisive snort but she followed my orders. I turned to address my captive. My soon to be victim who looked at me as if I was the Shinigami himself.

"Kabuto. Check the seal work please." I ordered, barely noticing Kabtuo's acknowledgement. "Gato, I would like to start with apologizing in advance. What I'm about to do is quite possibly one of the worst things a human can possibly do."

I wasn't sure why I was explaining myself to the man, but I had to continue. A part of me wanted something from this. I wasn't sure if it was forgiveness, understanding, or just me justifying myself, but I wanted the man to know.

"You are about to be the fuel used to bring someone back to life through a process known as the Edo Tensei. The process uses your soul as fuel." Gato's eyes widened before he began to thrash in his bindings, doing everything he could to escape. I walked to my cabinet and began to load a sedative into a syringe.

"It won't destroy your soul, it will mangle it. Tear it to shreds. Bits will be gone. Your soul will be an abomination for hundreds of years. Ir might recover eventually but I frankly don't understand enough about souls to make that promise." I said as I began to approach the man on the ground. "It's why I didn't take any of your men for this. Why I don't just revive an army to serve me. I am only willing to do this because you are such a miserable man you regard goodness and kindness as nothing more than weakness. I watched you for days trying to find any redeeming features, to find some reason to not do this to you, and you gave me none."

Gato had started sobbing into his gag and at some point he'd wet himself. I looked at him with pity before injecting him with the sedative.

"I just hope that somehow you become a better person in your next life."

Then the man passed out.

I took a shaky breath before standing.

"Orochitama-sama. It's ready." Kabuto spoke up.

"Alright. Lets do this then." I said before backing out of the array. In moments one soul left the mortal coil and another returned.

I just had to convince myself it was worth it.
-

Sarutobi Hiruzen was tired. Nowadays, that seemed to be the all he felt anymore. He was old, he had plenty of regrets, but he still had a job to do, and until someone came along he was SURE would do a better job, he wouldn't be stepping down any time soon. Then, he had received a report about his treacherous old student possibly killing one of his favorite citizens.

He'd had a rough couple of days.

"Hokage-sama." One of his personal ANBU said as they appeared before him. The monkey masked ninja gave a bow and Sarutobi resisted rolling his eyes. Such formality wasn't necessary from his own son, but Tadaomi was always a stickler about protocol in uniform.

Hiruzen had hoped that having Konohamaru would have helped the man relax a little, but it seems even that rambunctious child didn't manage to get the man to embrace the necessities of relaxing on the rules.

"Report." Hiruzen ordered.

"A patrol spotted Team 7 and Ino-Shika-Cho returning. They are being routed to you to give a report immediately. All members appear to have only mild injuries."

A heavy weight lifted off his chest. It was always good to find a team returned healthy, but some of them were more special than others.

"Thank you Monkey. I appreciate you telling me so promptly." Hiruzen said, positive his son had rushed to tell him. Tadaomi knew how much he had been fretting over the fate of Team 7.

Hopefully Orochimaru didn't do anything too terrible to them.

The familiar feeling of bitter regret gripped him again. He ignored it. It was a time to be happy. There would need to be debriefings done, but at the end of the day they arrived back home alive and whole, and that was always worthy of joy.

Hiruzen reached for his pipe and some of his nicer tobbaco. The kind that grew in the far reaches of the Land of Water. It was prohibitively expensive, but a ninja needed a few vices to stay sane.

He packed his pipe and lit the mixture. In moments the smoke filled his lungs and he hummed at the rich flavor before exhaling. Enjoying the quite contentment for a moment. The quiet wouldn't last, Naruto was heading in after all.

Hiruzen had three blessed minutes of contentment before a knock came at the door. One of his ANBU on guard flashed a few hand signs at him confirming who was on the other side.

"Enter Shikaku." Hiruzen stated.

In moments his jounin commander walked through the door and Hiruzen found himself wondering how the Nara managed to look even more done with everyone's bullshit than normal.

"You entered before everyone else." Hiruzen noted. "What did you need to report?"

"I wanted to inform you that Inoichi is taking Hanuro Sakura to the hospital for a burn injury, and thus won't be here for the report." Hiruzen's brow furrowed. A burn injury on a young kunoichi? That often ended badly. "I also wanted you to know that I already debriefed them. All their stories match up for consistency."

Now why would the Nara feel it necessary to tell him the story was consistent? The man had never felt the need to do such a thing before.

"Don't give me any preconceptions." Hiruzen ordered, "I want to hear for myself without your opinions coloring my own."

"I wouldn't dream of it Hokage-sama." Shikaku said with a smile that spoke of mischief.

That was odd enough that Hiruzen checked the man for illusions. Nara Shikaku and mischief didn't go together, and yet, apparently in this moment, they did. Hiruzen wasn't sure if that was reliving or worrying.

"Hey! Old Man!" Naruto yelled, ignoring all protocol and barged into the room and beamed with all the energy in the world. "We're back! And we kicked ass!"

A smile spread across Hiruzen's face. Naruto was a regular ball of sunshine when he wasn't being a prank obsessed brat. Kakashi walked in moments later, face buried in Icha Icha Tactics, and finally Uchiha Sasuke walked in and bowed. At least one of the three obeyed protocol.

"Team 7 reporting mission success Hokage-sama." Kakashi stated mildly before flipping a page. "We request an immediate debriefing."

That was to be expected, but old instincts were starting to warn the Third to be cautious.

"Welcome back, I'm glad to see you all returned safely." Hiruzen took another puff from his pipe. "By all means. I understand things went poorly. Tell me what happened Kakashi."

"Actually," The Copy Nin said as he snapped his book shut. "I was thinking that Naruto should start it. It's good practice for him."

Alarm bells went off in his head. Not the ones from war and a life on the battlefield, but the ones he got from teaching three brats that attracted trouble like garbage attracted flies. He should say no, but he couldn't really think of a reason to justify saying so. Plus he was morbidly curious.

"Alright then, Naruto. Please, give me your report."

"So it all started because Tazuna lied." Naruto began his tale. More than a decade of dealing with the blond was the only thing that let him follow what the boy was saying. He still chose to focus on strange things and gloss over other very important ones, but the boy did manage to communicate the basic ideas of the beginnings of their mission. A lying client, a high powerful jounin showing up to kill them, and a decision to continue the mission despite it being a poor tactical choice.

So far everything wasn't too strange.

"Then Kakashi was all like, ugh, chakra exhaustion! And we carried him to Tazuna's house where he slept for like a whole day. Then just as he woke up Tsunami told us about food being handed out in town, and then Orochi Lady showed up."

Hiruzen was busy trying to figure out who Tsunami was when the sentence filtered through.

"She brought fancy beef and-"

"I'm sorry." Hiruzen interrupted. "Who showed up?"

"Orochi Lady." Naruto repeated, though this time more slowly. "Geez Old Man, don't even know you're student's name? I guess that does happen to old people."

Hiruzen blinked. Blinked again. Then asked a question. "Did you mean Orochimaru?"

"Nah, she said her name was Orochitama."

She? Orochitama?

Orochimaru often took meticulous care of his hair but could hardly be mistaken for a woman, even by Naruto of all people.

"Kakashi called her that too though, so maybe you both forgot? Well, maybe she changed her name or something." Naruto continued.

Hiruzen had so many questions, he wasn't sure where to start. Since he didn't say anything, Naruto just kept going.

"Anyways," Naruto said loudly, as if irritated that he had been interrupted, "Orochi Lady was really nice and pretty and she brought us lots of expensive food because she was trying to get Gato to go cry to his ninja mommies. Oh, I guess she was also trying to sleep with Tsunami, because she likes girls and boys. Anyways-"

Orochimaru? Pretty? Nice? In possession of a sex drive?

No, this was clearly not his student.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen stated, cutting Naruto off. "Why does Naruto think my student is a woman named Orochitama?"

"Rude." Naruto muttered.

"Because it's probably true." Kakashi replied blithely, "She didn't hide her chakra, it feels the same. She had the snake summon and Kusanagi too."

What? No. That...no. That made no sense. What's the goal here? That would be too much effort to pretend to be a gender swap of Orochimaru that acts nothing like Orochimaru.

"So the person was wearing an illusion?" Hiruzen guessed.

"Nope. Sharingan showed no illusion. She also could be touched with no inconsistencies." Kakashi stated.

Did Kakashi just imply he'd groped Orochi- whoever this was?

"She also knew my last interaction with Orochimaru. She looked very similar to him too, minus certain changes, obviously." Kakashi continued.

Changes? Kakashi had hardly ever met Orochimaru, so he might have missed some inconsistencies. He felt like he was grasping at straws, but clearly something here wasn't adding up.

"What did this Orochitama look like?" He asked.

"Oh! I got this one!" Naruto piped up before putting his hands in a seal and announcing "Henge!"

A poof of smoke later and suddenly Hiruzen beheld...well he wasn't sure. It did remind him of his old student. Straight black hair, pale white skin, yellow snake eyes, purple eye markings. However this was unquestionably a woman. The sort of woman Jiraiya wrote about. She filled out a purple and black sundress in the curves the Toad Sage wrote entire novels about. Her face held a delighted mischief that spoke of knowing a secret that no one else had caught on to yet.

"Ara ara, sensei. You keep looking at me like that I'll blush." The figure tutted.

Hiruzen felt himself recoil in...he really wasn't sure what the emotion was but he damn sure didn't like it.

There was a click and a flash. Kakashi had just taken a picture. The man had apparently come prepared for that moment.

Were they playing a prank on him?

"Naruto. I don't appreciate you turning this into a prank by exaggerating proportions and having them act like...that." Hiruzen stated.

"Actually. He was spot on." Kakashi spoke up.

"Yep. Right attitude too." Sasuke said with a nod.

Naruto changed back to normal. "Right?! I nailed that ara ara perfect."

Hiruzen could only watch the three in mute shock.

"What was...why? What did he, uh, she?" Hiruzen wasn't sure what to go with. "They. What did they want?"

"Oh, well she wanted to help us! Oh, and she wanted to take Zabuza back with her." Naruto sated sure of himself.

"And to steal all Gato's money." Sasuke added.

"Oh right. That too." Naruto nodded.

Hiruzen looked to Kakashi for answers.

"I'm really not sure. I have suspicions, but this isn't the environment for some of them." Meaning Kakashi didn't want to say it in front of the genin. "She did, however, pass on high class important intel important to Konoha as a whole and me specifically. I think she might be asking for help, or at least neutrality."

Hope began to blossom in his chest, and Hiruzen wanted desperately to quash it. He'd long ago learned that hope for Orochimaru just served to hurt him. But like so many times before, he could snuff out the emotion. Instead, he shoved it deep into the back of his mind. He couldn't act on it. As much as he wanted Orochimaru's redemption, he needed to think logically.

Why would Orochimaru do something like this? To exploit a weakness. Well, a flirty attractive woman did give the possibility to capitalize on many weaknesses, particularly for-

Hiruzen looked Kakashi up and down and narrowed his eyes.

"Kakashi. Did you-" Hiruzen began.

"No! I did not fuck Orochimaru!" Kakashi said in exasperation.

The Third sat back in his chair. He didn't think so, but...well he'd seen her. Still, even with nothing happening beauty could be a deadly weapon. It could distract, confuse, and cloud one's thoughts. All tools helpful for ninja.

He just thought that Orochimaru would never learn to use this particular tool. Still, there was a solid chance that there was something here, buried under everything else that Orochimaru didn't want them seeing. Something he didn't want them to notice.

Something like his weakness; Orochimaru always hated asking for help. It might be that he finally realized how lost he was and-

Hiruzen halted that line of thought. He couldn't afford to think that way. How many times did it take him touching the fire before his heart learned that it burns?

"Shikaku. Get them set up. Full debrief. Go over everything with a fine tooth comb. Then do it again. I want all the eyes you can get on this." Hiruzen ordered.

"Yes sir." Shikaku stated before turning to usher Team 7 out.

"Wait, Old Man, I didn't get to tell you about her steamy girl fight!" Naruto yelled as he left.

Hiruzen waited for them to leave before slamming his head into the desk, as he chastised himself. He did NOT want to ask for details about that last sentence.

It would be in the reports that he'd read later though, so-

He shook his head. Best not to focus on that. He had work to do, and maybe the other members of his team would have more insight into this. Jiraiya had been chasing down leads about Orochimaru for decades. He might be able to shed some light on the situation.

Hiruzen began to write a letter, explaining everything he found out.

He threw it in the trash and instead wrote an order for Jiraiya's immediate recall back to the village with top priority. This wasn't the kind of thing one just put in a letter and have the other person believe.

Besides, it could be that all of Team 7 and an entire village of people were crazy. It was a long shot but it almost made more sense than what he was dealing with.

There was a knock at the door and the man known as the God of Shinobi gave a weary sigh. A glance at the door guard told him what he needed to know.

"Enter." He stated.

The door opened and his old rival walked in the door. Danzo stood in front of his desk and did not bow his head.

"I heard you have news on Orochimaru."

Hiruzen smiled the same smile he had been given by Shikaku earlier. He now understood what caused it. Schadenfreude.

"Excellent Danzo. Let me tell you a story." Hiruzen began.
-

I looked to the coffin I had just summoned and the lid fell away. Kabuto gasped behind me. I hadn't told him who I was summoning.

"Mother." Kabuto muttered, entranced.

Yakushi Nono was not a very pretty woman. Most people would call her plain looking, she had a wide face, too small a nose and crows feat next to her eyes. She was not a particularly powerful ninja and she wasn't very well known.

The woman's eyes snapped open and she looked directly at me.

"Orochimaru!" She growled.

"Ara Ara, I go by Orochitama these days!" I said waving a hand dismissively. "My appearance looks quite different than you expected after all."

The woman squinted hard at me and I suddenly remembered that she needed to wear glasses.

Kabuto had grown very still behind me and stood unmoving, giving a quiet whisper, "Why did you summon her?"

Nono's head snapped to look at him, here eyes still squinting, trying to see. "Who was that?"

"That was your son, Kabuto." I answered, making the woman recoil in shock. "But that's not why I summoned you. There was something else I needed to know. Something that I'm hoping that you, Shimura Danzo's doctor and former genin, will be able to tell me."

"I won't betray Konoha." The woman said immediately, more reflex than any real thought.

"I don't want you to." I informed backing away and giving the woman more room, trying to make her feel less threatened. "I just want to know if you can confirm a suspicion of mine. Something that makes all the pieces of a puzzle line up for me."

"And what is that?" The woman asked hesitantly.

"Did Danzo arrange your death because you found out that he used Uchiha Shisui's eye to get away with arranging the Uchiha Massacre?"

The woman's eyes widened and she gasped "How did you know that?"

A smile split my face. Got him.

"Thank you, Nono-san. Please, talk with your son. I have plans to make."

I turned and left the room. I had what I needed. Confirmation. I didn't want to bet all my plans on the information without knowing it was true. Danzo had used a genjutsu on the Hokage to get his way. Done it who knew how many times. It's why he showed no fear in crossing lines that would have gotten others executed.

Now that I knew...well Danzo wasn't going to manage to stick around for much longer.

In the mean time, it was music night! I was really looking forward to seeing what all my ninjas managed to put together!

I walked off into the base humming lightly with a spring in my step.
-

Notes:

Wow. I didn't realize how long that was until I placed it here. Over 5K! That's my biggest chapter yet. I hope you all enjoy!

Feel free to join my Discord, link in Bio!
Peace!

Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Chapter Text

Minoru Tatewaki felt that the word passionate was the best word to describe him, so when he heard of the new music night that Sound had started he leapt at the chance. Passion was, after all, the most important part of music. Then he attended.

Music night at Hidden Sound is, for lack of a better word, an experience. Many of the people played with mastery and an astounding level of skill, others played their hearts out with only some idea they knew what they were doing, and some people just randomly played notes and were just happy to be included. The problem was, no one was taking charge and all of that just came out as a barrage of noise.

Certainly not the sort of thing that could actually woo a woman.

Not that he needed any help getting a woman to fawn over him. He was, after all, quite the catch, even if his old village couldn't see that for themselves. Honestly, just because he asked the girl out to lunch and dinner certainly shouldn't have been cause to kick him out of the village. People have both lunch and dinner every single day after all.

That said, no one here could hear his beautiful display of musical skill over the loud cadence of other noises, nor would they even entertain his masterful idea of a having a solo during the music. Some nonsense about how a triangle doesn't deserve a solo, the dullards.

Tatewaki found himself once again considering leaving Hidden Sound. The place didn't appreciate him, nor his brilliance, they ordered him around like he was a common grunt and worst of all most of the women just couldn't take a compliment. One even stabbed him after he paid respects to her her dedication of care on her glutes! Honestly, a smack on the ass is the height of compliment.

Tatewaki was set to leave this farce of a music room, pack up his things, and leave Hidden Sound behind, consequences be damned. He couldn't stand this lack of appreciation anymore.

Then a goddess walked into the room.

"Ara ara! Everyone is putting so much passion into their music! You just need a director and you'll make everyone stop in awe."

Then everything went quiet, Tatewaki stared as well. Such was her beauty that the entire room didn't dare move or even breath! Some were even shaking from how much her beautiful presence effected them! Pale skin, long black hair, a figure shaped by the gods themselves, and a smile that spoke of good natured mischief! Truly, there had never been a more delightful creature on the face of the planet.

"Orochitama-sama, we weren't aware you had returned." One of the others spoke.

Wait, what?

He'd heard a bit about their bosses' new name, and he'd some fairly ridiculous gossip that he just discarded as the prattling of the peons faced with uncertainty. However he now realized they were all wrong. This glorious creature could in no way be Orochimaru. A goddess had decided that the man should be usurped, for only the very hands of heaven could sculpt such magnificence.

"Orochitama-hime!" He spoke up as he prostrated himself before her. "With your help I can-"

"No need for all that." She cut in, voice chiding. "I can't stay for long, still much to do after the mission, but I just had to come see how things were coming along. I have high hopes for you all, after all!"

The tension went up in the room for obvious reasons, no one would want to disappoint such an amazing creature.

"I think you all will do much better if you could just find a director amongst you. You all have much potential, and I'd hate for you to squander it by fighting with each other." The woman gave a flirtatious wink at him! Well she was looking at the room at large, but clearly, she meant it for him, no one else here was worthy of such a thing after all. "I have to go, but I hope you will be a bit more organized next time I drop by!"

Then she left, and Tatewaki's world seemed far more dim, though the view as she existed did leave a balm on the soul. He wished, with all his heart, to make this goddess of a woman happy. So no sooner had she left the room that he shot to his feet and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I offer to be director!" It couldn't be too different from his former job. Managing the field supplies for an entire hidden village couldn't possibly be less difficult than just getting a group of people play on the same beat after all.

I heave a sigh as I leave the music room. Half the people in there started quaking in their boots as soon as I arrived. As much as I would love to be a part of music night, my men were still too frightened of me, or like the one weirdo and worshiped the very ground I walked on. That was not the first time one of my minions seemed to have a religious realization upon my arrival. The hime thing was new though.

Still, as much as I was tempted to slap on a henge and try to participate, now wasn't the time. Sakon and Jirobo were probably waiting for me in my office and I needed to review the supplies list, some of them were probably perishable and needed to handled as soon as possible.

"But I wanted to sing." I muttered to myself as I walked towards my office.

As I expected, the two last members of Sound Four were waiting for me in my office, their forms looming over a man in clothes made of burlap and had a face wrinkled by hours in the sun. He also was very clearly not happy to be here.

"Orochitama-sama." Jirobo and Sakon said, giving a bow, after a moment of hesitation the old man gave a bow as well.

He was adaptable! Good.

"Saito-san, I'm very sorry we had to meet this way. I know I pulled you away from your work, but I figured you wouldn't mind since Gato Shipping Company doesn't exist anymore." I said as I walked in and travelled to the other side of my desk.

"It was, uh, huh?" Saito said in confusion.

"Gato Shipping Company is gone. Gato is dead and I have taken roughly 95 percent of the companies assets." I said, attempting to clear up the confusion.

"Oh." The man said before going pale. "Oh."

A civilian that lost their job often found themselves starving shortly after. The world was not kind and most places barely payed enough to keep a family fed.

"Now, it is my understanding that you are the most senior foreman at the Lightning docks?" I asked.

Saito made a few choking sounds as he seemed to waiver on what answer would keep him alive.

"Well, um, yes. I guess I am." He finally decided on the truth. Which boded well for him.

"Excellent! Then I am very much in need of your help Saito-san. You see, many of Gato's higher ups are not exactly people that I want to do business with. Too used to Gato and his way of operating. Most of them don't know how to run the business beyond yelling at underlings anyways, so, I find myself with all of the assets of major shipping conglomerate and no experienced sailors and warehouse workers to run things. I can't do it myself, far too busy with ninja stuff, you understand, so I wanted to take the opportunity to raise up someone who actually knows how the business works."

The man's eyes widen as he connects the dots.

"Lightning has the largest of Gato's docks, and you are the one that everyone turned to when things went wrong. So, Saito-san, would you like to be rich?" I asked as I leaned back in my chair.

"Oh." The old man said again, pausing to consider his response, not immediately accepting. "If I refuse, are you going to kill me?"

"Of course not!" I said with a shake of my head, "I'll just send you on your way, but I don't think I'll need to do that."

"If I did do this," he began slowly, "would I be heavily involved in ninja business?"

"A wise question. But you won't be involved in any more ninja business than you were before, plenty of ninja were already using Gato to ship their stuff, now you'll just have more direct knowledge."

Saito looked to have sucked on a lemon, but schooled himself after a moment.

"So, I'd be in charge?" He guessed.

"Not of the whole company. The company will be owned by myself, a representative from Mist, and the people of Wave Country. You will be consulted about contracts, but you will not have final say on what contracts are taken, however you will be the one to decide how all products reach their destination and you will receive a salary and a percentage of the profits."

Saito's eyebrows went up. It was rare to be offered both a salary and a percentage, usually based on what sort of job they want you to accomplish.

"If I have moral problems with anything. Will you kill me?" He asked, leaning forward.

"If you have moral problems with the work, I want you to contact me directly. If we can't come to an agreement about your moral quandary, you will be let go with your life in tact. However, should you share company secrets afterwards, yes, someone will probably show up to kill you." I stated, the man clearly wanted to know what line was the last line with us.

Saito started bouncing one leg, rubbing his chin with one hand. I took the time to start looking through inventory we'd captured. Most of it was typical shipping that you ran across. Lots of raw materials and very few items actually assembled.

"Can I take a bit to think about it?"

"No. Sorry." I answered with a shrug. "If you don't accept, I have to ask someone else. I have the business assets right now, many of which need to reach their destination. I need the job filled and if you don't accept, it will have to go to someone else. I need an answer by the end of this meeting."

Saito slumped and bit his lip. It was understandable. The average person usually found that getting involved with ninjas got you dead. Which was a fair assessment honestly. However everything I offered was more than the man could ever dream of. I didn't want to rush him, but it was also true I couldn't wait either. I had other people in the base too, people that were set to be Saito's employees. One of them would be in charge if he refused.

"Alright. I'll take the job, but I control the people who work under me." He said.

"Excellent. I've grabbed a few other Gato employees. Speak with them. Hire any that you want to keep, fire any that you feel aren't worth your time. Try to get some semblance of order with their help. If you want to hire anyone else, that's fine too. Oh, and I captured most of Gato's ships, do let me know if any of the Captains should be relieved of their position." I said as I stood up and extended a hand, Saito took the hand with all of the same amount of caution he would have for a viper. "Welcome to the Pink Canoe! Now go make sure we have all the best seamen."

Saito stared at me in disbelief, Sakon looked as if I had just declared my intent to murder puppies, and Jirobo, well Jirobo just looked bored.

"Sakon-kun, please go make sure he's set up. Keigo should be working with the other civilians and setting up the logistics." I ordered. With only a few moments of inaction, Sakon started moving.

"Yes, Orochitama-sama." He said before turning to Saito and motioning to the door with his head.

"Oh, and Sakon-kun. You and Ukon did wonderful. Thank you for your hard work!" I chirped.

The leader of the Sound Four halted for a moment before he continued walking. I heard him mutter something but I couldn't quite catch what. Sakon still was having trouble accepting the new me, though he'd apparently come to start using Orochitama in his time away, so that was good!

I take a few moments to begin to scratch out a list of names on a piece of paper, struggling for only a moment to remember the names of the various Daimyo that I wanted to contact.

"I heard Kidomaru was hurt." Jirobo stated suddenly. The mountain of a man seeming to shrink into himself as he spoke. "Is it...bad?"

A proud smile began to tug at my lips, it was nice to see my ninja actually care about each other. "Kidomaru-kun lost an arm and has some severe abdominal burns. He should be fine and I have some doctors seeing if we can get the arm reattached. It wasn't due to a cut, so we're not sure it can be."

"I see. Then he's going to be out of the Sound Four?" He asked morosely.

I blinked. "Jirobo-kun. He has five more arms, and he'll recover. I'd be a fool to not keep such a splendid and loyal shinobi close."

Jirobo gave a fragile smile that made my heart melt. "Oh. That's good."

"Here." I say, holding out a piece of paper. "Take that to Keigo too. Tell him to have the Pink Canoe set up a meeting with these people and get back to me with the meeting times. Then why don't you go down to the infirmary and visit with Kidomaru-kun. I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

Jirobo's face brightened up and he gave a quick bow. "I will. Thank you, Orochitama-sama."

I gave a wave of my hand as the large man practically skipped out of the room. I'd find him adorable if I didn't know his favorite pastime was draining people of their chakra till they died.

"Now," I glanced down to the massive piles of papers on my desk. "To deal with you motherfuckers."
-

"So. That's how it happened." Yakushi Nono said as she leaned back against the wall. The two of them had been sitting on the ground for the last while and Kabuto wasn't sure if he should curse Orochitama or thank her for the opportunity. He buried his heart under layers of dissociation specifically to avoid things like this.

"You actually believe me?" Kabuto asked, intrigued.

"Not totally." Nono said, "But you know enough details that I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. What you described does sound like something Danzo would do. I just-" Nono paused and let her head thunk against the wall behind her, "I just thought he wouldn't throw me away like that. I thought I was at least useful enough he'd keep me around. I guess he found another medic to make sure his arm doesn't overrun him."

"So...I probably am actually Yakushi Kabuto." Kabuto said, looking at this hands. Years of being different people, being different agents, with different organizations, it had grown so hard to know who he was that he had started to think that Nono was just part of a story he had told to himself too much.

"I'm sorry." Nono said, coming over to grasp his hand. "I should never have let them take you away. I knew the kind of man Danzo was."

"It was my choice." Kabuto responded, though a voice whispered in his head that convincing him he chose himself would be a great way to manipulate loyalty. He quashed the feeling. He could obsess over the thought later, now wasn't the time.

"So, what now? Am I meant to just stay in this room?" Nono asked, "Do I go back to being dead?"

"Orochitama-sama can release you back to the Pure World if you wish. You could try to run, but she could dismiss you or summon you back before you get anywhere." Kabuto replied, trying to be honest, if only here, with her. "Or, you could stay here. With me."

"Kabuto-kun." Nono said, her voice full of emotion. Regret, hope, sadness, and even just a little love. "I can't betray Konoha. Danzo might be in the wrong, but I'm still loyal. I'm can't do something that will hurt them."

That stung, just a bit, but it was something he understood. It was good that was her only objection.

"Orochitama doesn't have ill intentions towards Konoha. In fact, right now she has a standard policy to not aggravate any of the major powers. Her major enemy is Akatsuki, a group of S-Class ninja that intend to steal all the Bijuu."

"Oh. That's-" Nono hesitated, "That's big stuff. If it's to stop something like that I could participate, as long as no actions are taken against Konoha, and you think that this...Orochitama has what it takes to stand against Akatsuki."

Kabuto felt a smile begin on his face, though as soon as he noticed the feeling it disappeared.

"I'm sure. Something changed recently. The gender change, all the recent changes to operation, and every mission she's flagged as being important, all of it has spoken of a brilliant mind with layers of forethought and execution that it's astounding. In fact, most of her plans have it where even if the objective fails she still succeeds. Her plans have flexibility."

"You really respect her." Nono stated lightly.

"Yes." Kabuto said, and was very surprised it was true. The woman was manipulative and clever, and yet somehow managed to be honest and caring in that manipulation, or at least gives the appearance of caring. Either way, it was done so masterfully he found he didn't care that much about it's truth.

He still didn't think that she cared on the emotional level she pretended to use with everyone, but it was unquestionable that she valued her people as assets not to be easily discarded. That was better than most ninja got.

"I'm willing to talk with her." Nono stated, "But I don't know that I can help much. I was a medic first and an infiltration specialist second. I don't have much skill in a direct fight."

Kabuto stood up and dusted his hands off on his pants. "She'll have another use for you that you'll like, I'm sure. She rarely does anything for just one reason, and I imagine your summoning is to fulfill many objectives."

This clearly did not bring Nono comfort as she grimaced.

"Come. We'll talk to her together." Kabuto offered his hand, Nono took it with only the barest hesitation. The woman's hand was that of a dead person and thus had no blood circulation and no body heat. Yet Kabuto felt his hand was warm.

The trip to Orochitama's office was disappointingly short.

Kabuto knocked on the door, a moment later he received a shout of permission to enter. There was much more paperwork on the desk than the last time he entered. There was also an open bottle of some sort of liquor on the desk. Orochitama stood in front of some sort of board made of a cork material that dozens of papers were pinned to. Orochitama herself had apparently removed her top and was now dressed in only a white undershirt that left little to the imagination.

"Ara ara, if it isn't my two favorite Yakushi!" She shouted excitedly before flouncing over and holding out a sheet of paper. "We have it! It was in the supplies. It's given me IDEAS Kabuto!"

Kabuto glanced at Nono, who was beginning to look unsettled, before looking down at the paper. It was a supply list from the things captured from Gato. It had list of items. Benches, food stands, small ovens, and- "A circus tent?"

Kabuto wracked his mind to figure out what good that does to assist in any of Orochitama's plans that he was aware of. He couldn't think of anything.

"So...what are you wanting me to do with a circus tent?" He asked, bewildered.

"You? Nothing." Orochitama said with a wave of her hand. "No, it means you are going to send a message back to Danzo that says I plan on attacking Konoha with Sand during the chunnin exams in order to assassinate some of their leadership."

Kabuto's eyes widened as he looked over to Nono. Though his mind did catch up. If she wanted him to tell Danzo that, she probably had no plans to actually follow through with that.

"This is a bluff?" He asked. "A distraction?"

"Yes." Orochitama nodded before turning around back to the board on the wall. "It's make them not think to much about the marriage. The adoption. The large movement of troops. Plus some other people going really quiet."

Marriage? Adoption?

"This...plan." Nono spoke up. "It's what has you so excited?"

"Oh no." Orochitama said with a shake of her head. "That's because I found out Sand has Agave, and thus-" She lifted the bottle on her desk and happily pronounced, "tequila!"

Nono shot him a look.

"It usually works out, I swear." He promised.
-

Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I had found the single best aspect of being a ninja. All the power, super human abilities, and mystic knowledge paled in comparison to my passion for this one aspect of my new life. Ninjas could cure hangovers in a few seconds if they have enough medical knowledge.

"Where have you been all my life?" I muttered towards my hand, the medical technique fading from the appendage.

I had cured my hangover with not a drop of tomato juice or Gatorade in sight. I had also managed to keep myself to my study, considering I'd woken up there. Unless I received reports about me walking topless through the halls then Kabuto and Nono were probably the last ones to see me.

All in all, a pretty successful night with tequila access.

A trip to my personal bathroom allowing for a wonderful hot shower, then throwing on a fresh set of clothes, and I felt far better than anyone who consumed that much tequila had any right to feel the next morning. I was even humming a happy tune to myself as I sought out breakfast.

A short time later, I had acquired food and had begun walking back when it happened.

"What do you want from me?"

I turned around to see Nono staring me down as she purposefully walked around me to stand between me and the hallway that led back to my office.

"Ara ara, Nono-san." I said adopting a faux shy look, "So sorry you had to see that side of me last night. It was a bit unbecoming."

The woman chose to glare daggers rather than give a response. She likely didn't see a drawback from her course of action, it had little risk to someone who couldn't die.

I heave a sigh.

"Nono-san, I know what you are doing. Approach 37-B. Attempt to gather information by interrupting their routine and find information based on their reactions. Not a bad policy in this circumstance, since I can't meaningfully threaten your life and you have no social standing here to speak of. Though I do appreciate the directness."

Nono's face barely twitched. She had a good poker face, but I was able to see enough that I'd hit the nail on the head.

I then continued walking down the hall rather than take the turn that Nono was blocking. I wasn't headed back to my office anyways. I let Nono stand there awkwardly for a moment before giving a shout over my shoulder.

"Come along Nono. I was going to do this later but you can come with me and see what this is about."

I took a bite of the bacon bits onigiri that served as my breakfast and began to chew. Nono's training would tell her to retreat in the face of the unknown and try a different approach later. I'd ruined her momentum and her attempts at getting a reaction from me. I had the initiative, socially speaking. She'd be walking in blind with me.

This was however something I wanted to go ahead and get taken care of.

"I will give truthful answers to everything you ask me while we walk."

It took only a few seconds for her to begin to follow. That was the sort of promise that a spy dreamed for after all.

I got two more steps before she spoke up.

"Are you manipulating Kabuto?" She asked.

I gave a scoff.

"Come now, what a waste of a question Nono. Of course I'm manipulating him, we're ninja and he's a double agent. He's well aware of my manipulations too." I say as I take a sip of the green tea in my thermos.

"Fine, are you lying to him?" She asked.

I took a bite of my onigiri and did a mental check on the things I'd told him.

"No, at least not for the last three months or so." I answered.

"Three months? Why only that long?" She pressed.

"Well I had done some soul searching and then settled my current look and lease on life. I was quite a bit different before then."

I could feel Nono's stare at my back, trying to find any sort of falsehood or useful information in my statement.

I paid her no mind as I finished off the first of my onigiri.

"Three months ago was when you left Akatsuki." Nono said after a pause.

"It is." I said simply.

She seemed to think she was on to something.

"What is Akatsuki's goals?" She asked.

"Every member is in it for something different. The overall stated goal is capture all of the tailed beasts and put into into a single statue." I took another bite of my breakfast.

I could feel Nono stopping in place. That was a huge statement. It would be the same as someone in my old life saying they intended to steal all of China, Russia, and the USA's nukes. An almost ridiculous idea but frightening if it was possible.

"Why did you join them?" She asked.

Ah, she was more focused on trying to understand me and my motivations. Even more than finding out Akatsuki. That was interesting.

"I found another member's eyes absolutely captivating." I replied in a dreamy voice.

"What?" Nono asked in surprise.

"His eyes. I found them incredibly attractive." I said before taking a loud slurp of tea.

Nono made a few stuttering sounds before falling silent.

"Why did you leave them?" She asked, deciding to deal with any double meanings later.

"I tried to rock his body. He objected violently."

"I- you- what?" She asked in bewilderment.

"Oh look we're here!" I chirped and started the process of opening the large vault door.

"Wait, but I wanted to ask-" She started.

"Sorry, no can do. I'm a busy woman. You'll have to ask some other time. Besides, this isn't the type of conversation you'll want to have in here." I said as I stepped into the room behind the vault door.

"Tama!" A chorus of small voices yelled out in cheer and laughter.

I had a small horde of tiny humans body check my legs, arms wrapping around me and small forms that weren't close enough to touch me excitedly hopping up and down at the back of the crowd.

Guren bowed on one knee behind them. I'd managed to get the woman to stop chiding the children for this behavior a month ago, but it had been a fight to do so.

"Orochitama-sama. It is good to see you back." She spoke, voice barely loud enough to be heard over the shouts of children.

"You were gone too long!"

"Can you sing a bunch to make up for the ones you missed?"

"Can you finish the story?"

"I picked a booger and it looked just like you!"

"I got all gold stars on my potty chart! I get a treat!"

"Kuma-san got a tear and you do the best at fixing him."

"Ara ara!" I cut in, "So much energy! Let me come sit down and we'll do this one at a time!"

I turned my head to see Nono out of the corner of my eye. The woman stood stock still and couldn't figure out if she should scream in horror, shield the children, or ask the universe what it had been smoking. She seemed to settle on a breathless sigh as she spread her arms out to her side in the hopes that the universe would drop meaning into them.

The universe didn't answer so I decided to instead.

"Guren-chan, this is Yakushi Nono. I would appreciate it if you would explain what this room is for and what the daily activities of the children looks like." I informed as I leaned down to the kids and picked up Kimiko, the youngest in the group around us.

"Now, tell me about what happened to Kuma-kun!" I stated in shocked horror as I walked to the rocking chair in the middle of the play area. I left the befuddled Nono behind with hardly a backwards glance.
++++

Nono was not quite sure what to do with herself. From her perspective it had been quite the tumultuous few days. She remembered dying quite vividly, then she woke up in that box with a short and very dead man, a female and curvy Orochimaru, and her long estranged charge Kabuto. It made her ponder on the merits of this being the result of hell coming to very odd conclusions on how to eternally torture a soul.

Nono had started the morning with steeling her resolve about finding answers. Kabuto was...nice to have around again. He of all the children she helped raise had a special place in her heart. She always felt more responsible for him than any of the others and the man she talked with seemed genuine enough and knew enough of the details that she was confident he was, in fact, her long lost son.

It still didn't answer what she was meant to do with herself.

She was dead and was being kept alive only at the mercy of Orochimaru, there was no way that Konoha would allow her back. Danzo might, but she was now absolutely sure that Danzo couldn't be trusted with anything. He was a traitor to Konoha, to the Sandaime, and to her, his own student.

She had nowhere to go to but she wasn't going to live in this village and assist more of Orochimaru's evil deeds. She'd seen first hand the evils he had done. Danzo had called her in to be the one to examine the work the Snake Sannin had left behind when he fled the village. The work was some of the most repugnant things she had come across in all her years and she would refuse to be part of anything of the sort.

So, she resolved to be aggressive, to make her stance known and to find out all the details of what was going on so she could satisfy her conscience about being willing to stay around in Orochimaru's village of psychopaths.

What's the worst he'd do? Kill her?

Several minutes later she wasn't any more dead but was considering stabbing herself in the head.

The most secure place in the entire base held a group of several dozen children. The children were well fed, had plenty of toys, and were not being overly respectful of Orochimaru. She'd need a more extensive look to be sure, but they didn't seem to have any recent marks of experimentation either.

"This is the Children's Den." The woman, Guren, suddenly spoke up to her as she approached. Guren's stance was not one of politeness. In fact she was fairly certain that the other woman was mentally preparing to kill Nono at a moment's notice. "I am responsible for the health and safety of these children. If you think to so much as scratch them, I will hang your head in the cafeteria as an example for-"

"Guren-san!" A small voice yelled. One of the children, a little boy with short black hair and smattering of freckles, ran over to them, making Guren's body-language change from deadly killer to doting older sister in the blink of an eye. "Guren-san, I can't find the picture I colored for Tama! It's gone and I-I can't."

Guren gave a fond shake of her head, "Did you check the top drawer in your room?"

"Oh. I'll check there!" The child said before running off.

As soon as the child turned away the deadly assassin returned and pointed and accusing finger at her. "If you hurt them I'll have your anguished cries make other rethink their religious choices. Are we clear?"

Nono could only smile and feel a kindred spirit. "Oh yes, we are quite clear."

Then the reality of whose base this was hit her again.

"So, they must be kept healthy and safe before they are experimented on, is that it?" Nono asked, offence clear in her voice.

Guren's eyes blazed and a knife of crystal manifested in her hand.

"You will not question Orochitama-sama's decisions like that again. It is not your place to question her." Guren ground out.

This was familiar ground, Guren was conditioned to follow Orochimaru's orders without question. Which meant that these children were likely meant to be indoctrinated as well. Soldiers and experiments meant to be loyal to the Snake Sannin. Nono was probably meant to keep the children healthy before being put on a slab.

"You can't kill me in any meaningful way." Nono stated dismissively. "If it protects children, I'll defy your master as much as I damn well please."

Contrary to her predictions, Gurren lowered her crystal blade with a face that looked as though she had sucked on a lemon.

"I suppose you could be...helpful."

She had not expected reluctant acceptance to be the response to her declaration.

"Helpful with what?" Nono asked.

"We have three big meals a day with a two small snacks between. Diaper changes on the four toddlers and the infants are expected at least five times a day minimum. You should be a part of at least three community games with the children every day. Arts and crafts must be at least one of these. An adult must be stationed here at all times."

Nono blinked a few times before nodding. Her time at an orphanage made that all seem standard, a bit excessive even. "Yes? That much interaction must be good for the children. What is your point?"

"Orochitama-sama holds these children as being Sound's greatest asset. She finds it hard to trust people to look after them. None have managed to pass both of our standards."

"Both of-" Nono trailed off. "Are you the sole caregiver for these children?"

Guren's eyes stayed the same hard steel, but Nono could see the woman across from her was more wound that a coiled spring.

"Yes. Yes I am." Guren answered.

"Oh." Nono said before turning her gaze to the numerous children. Far more children than a single person should be expected to look after. "Oooooh."

"While I don't care for your disrespect of Orochitama-sama, you do seem to be willing to act in the children's best interest."

Nono had but one phrase come to mind in light of the poor woman's troubles. "Oh you poor thing."

Though Nono had to admit, being brought back for her skills as a caregiver rather than her skills as a ninja...well she failed her charges once before and she intended to make up for that.
+++++

Shimura Danzo disliked a great many things. His old teammates had always told him it made him a pessimist. His teacher, Tobirama, always told that it helped to make one appreciate the things you do like that much more. Danzo was partial to the second choice himself, though knew the former was likely more accurate.

People often said he was a bit of a jackass.

They were right.

The ninja world was a dangerous place, where the best of intentions and purity of heart, for all its beauty, could be smothered and poisoned. Someone had to make sure the right choice was made. The hard choice. So Danzo made sure it was done, so others might stay pure, since once you crossed that line there was no going back.

To pretend you could change for the better was the height of folly. People didn't change, they just lied about it convincingly.

The world was always on a knife's edge from falling into war. One lost caravan, one assassinated lord, one unintended slight from falling into death and blood. The people to upset that balance were the people that fooled themselves into thinking they were some sort of savior.

Most shinobi you could trust to act in their own self interest. It was the selfless that acted in ways one couldn't hope to predict.

Orochimaru had always been good about that. For all his intelligence the snake was an incredibly simple man. Danzo had always insured that there was someone near him to keep track of the "How's" of the Sannin's pursuits.

He'd received reports of Orochimaru's recent priority changes. Switching to more long term goals rather than short term. It wasn't confirmed, but Danzo was certain it was from a failed attempt at obtaining Uchiha Itachi's body.

Itachi was even more of a problem than he had thought if the young prodigy could beat the Sannin.

Something he would have to plan contingencies for in the future.

It was all predictable. All within the margins the world could sustain.

Then he had a conversation with Hiruzen about a genin team's recent trip to Wave, and Danzo could feel the balance of the knife beginning to tip, and Konoha was not ready to come out on top in a war. Kumo had the advantage because of their jinchuriki had made massive strides in his control over the Eight-Tails. Iwa also had two ninja that looked to be of Kage level quality. There was too much uncertainty as it stood.

The report of Orochimaru's behavior was unusual, uncharacteristic, and thus unsettling.

There was no previous hint at any feminine tendencies nor any sort of understanding of the average human libido. Such massive changes in operation meant that either someone had replaced the Snake Sannin with someone who had no intention of acting like him, or the Sannin was about to try something big.

The other possibility was Itachi. He had Shisui's other eye. In their fight, Itachi could have done something with Shisui's eye to forcibly change the Snake Sannin like this. It would explain much of what was going on, though he couldn't for the life of him figure out why Itachi would have the man start acting like a loose woman.

Though Itachi was a teenager, that couldn't be completely discounted.

So, Danzo poured over the reports again. Looking for something to draw from. Some piece of damning evidence that told him what he needed to know.

"Danzo-sama." One of his attendants said, bowing down and stretching out a folder towards him. "I have brought Team 7's latest debriefing."

Danzo took one look at it and his frown deepened. The packet was far thicker than the fifth such debriefing had any right to be.

"Uzumaki is altering the story again?" He growled in question.

"He heroically faced down one hundred ninja boars during the course of his training now." The man said simply.

If Danzo wasn't sure of his attendant having no emotion, he'd think the man was laughing.

Danzo snatched the packet and threw it on his desk.

"You're dismissed." He ordered before looking back at the pages.

There was some sort of secret going on with Orochimaru. Something that could cause a war. It would be something Danzo would get to the bottom of. Then it would be handled quietly and permanently.

The Roots would nourish the tree with blood, as it always had.
-

Notes:

A/N: New month new chapter! Interesting things going on! Next chapter Tama will check in a few more things in Sound and we'll get to see a bit of Akatsuki's take on things!

Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Time spent with the children was helped me stay sane. There I wasn't Orochimaru. Orochimaru looked and acted different and I was a girl, so to them I was clearly different. It was simple. I appreciated simple. I had very little that was simple in my life.

"Orochitama-sama! I have an important request for my project!"

"Orochitama-sama! The Daimyo of Plains, sent a response!"

"Orochitama-sama! I made a break through!"

"Orochitama-sama! There is a dispute in the cafeteria! Two dead so far!"

"Orochitama-sama! Your the Daimyo has concerns about Taki's acceptance of-"

On and on and on it went. As soon as I stepped out of the room with the children I'd had one request after the other. All things that did need my attention. I couldn't even blame Orochimaru for it. He didn't deal with stuff like this. His only rule was if you pissed him off he'd kill you. Simple. I was the one bringing in rules, regulations, and even mental care.

The end result was that everyone needed a mind numbing amount of my attention.

My office was often times filled with people working with me on a project or putting in a request for their own work. Ninja would occasionally come in with mission reports and requests for orders. The job was more stressful than most front line fighting I'd seen from Orochimaru's memories.

I had five people in my office, all trying to be heard and their requests handled all at once.

Then the door my office swung open and Zabuza walked in with his typical expression; that expression most commonly referred to as murderous.

"Out." He ordered.

In moments the room was empty of everyone but Zabuza and myself.

I raised an eyebrow at the man. "I'm guessing the first day of training didn't go well."

"How, the fuck, did those people get off calling themselves ninjas? Why aren't you training them?" He growled.

"I am getting them training. That's why I hired you." I responded as I picked up a report on the ongoing negations with our own Daimyo.

"I meant before that! What the hell did you do to train them?" He snapped.

"I didn't." I responded.

"What do you mean you didn't?"

"I mean that previously all these people weren't trained. They were given goals and if they did not meet them they had consequences. Usually resulting in them dying. If they couldn't figure out the 'how' of the request then that was on their head. Most of them were just results of seeing if we could get an experiment to work." I closed my eyes, leaned back and sighed.

Zabuza stared at me in silence for a solid minute before he began to speak slowly and hesitantly. "That's-"

"Stupid? Wasteful? Monstrous?" I cut in, doing my best to keep any sort of emotion from my voice. "I know. I've been trying to fix it."

Zabuza's eyes narrowed. That level of disregard compared to my current care was a difficult thing to align. Zabuza had been a ninja for decades, a massive inconsistence in behavior such as that was sure to set off alarm bells in the man.

I didn't want the man to dwell on it too much.

"Are you finding yourself not up to the task?" I tease, tossing hair over my shoulder.

"I can handle it." The man said with the grace of an ox. "You just implied I'd be working with people that knew the difference from their kunai and their ass."

"Oh come now, they can't be that bad."

Zabuza's palms slapped down on the table as his much larger form loomed over me.

"Some of them can't even do a jumping jack right."

Wow. That was pretty bad.

"As I said. Mistakes were made." I responded before standing up, forcing the Demon of the Mist to pull back from his looming. "Did you have a purpose here Zabuza? Other than to bitch about other people's incompetence?"

I'd dealt with administrative duties all day, and I was over it. In the right mindset, I'd joke and bitch about all the lemming tendencies of the Sound Nin right along with Zabuza. I was not in that mindset and the man came with accusations. I wasn't feeling very charitable.

The sudden turn in posture clearly reminded the Mist ninja who exactly he was talking to. I saw his eyes start to dart to the door before catching himself. The man loathed to backdown from anything and it was only his pride keeping him from excusing himself from the room.

"I was offered training for me and Haku in exchange for my service. I haven't been given any expectations on when that will be." The man said, arms still folded over his chest. The threatening tone gone.

I give lollypops and sunshine smile and clap my hand together. "Ara ara! How silly of me. I must have overlooked it in all my spare time!" I chirp. "Well you seem to be free right now, so please come with me to the training room 1 and we'll start right away."

With that, I turned, my yellow sundress twirling, and sashayed out of the room.

I did have to give some credit to Zabuza, he immediately followed after me.
xxxxxxx

Jugo's life seemed much brighter the last three months. His problems with losing control hadn't been solved, but it had grown much more manageable as of late. He personally thought it was due to the purpose he now felt. Kimimaro had been relived of duty and was able to spend a lot more time with him, the bone user had grown weaker and was under strict orders to remain in a bed or a wheelchair as much as possible. The two of them would spend hours wondering around the base together and just enjoying each other's company.

"Oi! Jugo! Jackass!" A familiar voice called. Jugo's face lit up. His other friend!

"Suigetsu." Jugo greeting warmly. Though spied Kimimaro's face dropping at the interruption.

Jugo winced. Why couldn't his friends just get along?

"What do you want, bottom feeder?" Kimimaro asked with all the care of the Suna desert.

"I wanted to invite Jugo to come watch an S-tier ass kicking. He won't leave you, so you come too." The shark-toothed kid said.

"A what?" Jugo asked, confused.

"Boss Lady is doing a total beatdown of a guy and calling it training." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "You wanna watch?"

"Well, if it's alright with-"

"Yes." Kimimaro interrupted. "Take us there now."

"Hell yeah!" Suigetsu cheered before leading them over to Training Field 1.

They arrived to find dozens of ninja had already beaten them there. Some sitting back and lurking in corners while keeping a watchful eye. Others gathered right up against the fence and gossiped to the person next to them. None talked loudly though.

You didn't want to attract the attention of either person in the room.

The three stopped in front of the iron bars that separated the training area from the rest of the base. Inside was an area ninty by thirty meters of concrete with holes patched up with orange clay. It also had a path dug through that had a constantly recycling stream of water.

As they arrived a thick mist began to rise up from the water and settle over the area.

"Aw, we aren't going to get to-"

The mist was banished by a sudden and powerful breeze that ruffled the hair and clothing of everyone watching. The wind was damp but refreshing, like the smell of the air just after rain. Jugo breathed it in deeply before catching sight of the two combatants. The first was Orochitama, who was pretty as ever, with a yellow dress with sunflowers decorated over them. Jugo was glad to see the bright colors and dress. She really seemed much happier since deciding to be a woman, and was making everything much better since then.

Maybe more people should decide to be women?

Oh, and Orochitama was stopping her opponents massive blade with a single hand. The man had muscles like carved granite that bulged under his tight sleeveless shirt. He wielded a sword almost as long and tall as he was, and tried to pry the monstrosity from Orochitama's grip.

"Heh. Guess even Demon of the Mist can't match the Boss." Suigetsu jeered as he leaned against the rails, lacking the fear of consequence that all the other watchers had.

"Of course." Kimimaro muttered. "It is Orochimaru-sama."

"Tama." Jugo corrected absently as he watched Orochitama release the sword willingly.

"Yes. Tama." Kimimaro agreed reluctantly.

"I can disperse your mist, and you can't sneak up on me. What will you do without your greatest strengths, Zabuza-kun?" Orochitama asked.

Zabuza answered with a water dragon attempting to close it's jaws around the woman.

Orochitama took a step to the side, looking for all the world like she was just strolling through a garden. It roared past her before spinning around to take a second pass at her, but she disappeared from sight and a loud clang pierced the air as Zabuza went flying backwards with a dent in his sword. As the man caught himself from his flight through the air Orochitama was there, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You go for one big hit too often." She commented lightly as the man violently twirled his body to attempt to behead his adversary. She flowed with the motion, maintaining her position behind him. "See, just then, it would have been much better to make an attempt for my leg or foot. It wouldn't have killed me but it would have cost me at least something."

Zabuza didn't respond, instead he pulled the sword close to him, hand raised up high and blade going down the front of his body, then he twisted himself into Orochitama's grip, forcing the woman to back off or lose a hand.

"Better." She commented before her dress fluffed out from her for a moment before Zabuza once again was sent backwards with a loud clang echoing through the area.

"What'd she do?" Jugo asked, squinting.

"She kicked his sword." Kimimaro replied. "I think she used a wind jutsu too while doing it, but I'm not sure, that might have just been from the force of the kick."

Once again, when Zabuza landed Orochitama appeared again, though this time she was standing right in front of him, one arm resting against her body just under her bust the other hand pressing a finger to pursed lips while she squinted.

Zabuza did a great impression of a spinning sawblade. He whirled and twisted, strike after strike flashing out without no pause, each motion leading smoothly into the next even thought each strike sailed past Orochitama, who dogged with what looked like a casual ease.

"Good!" She said as she dogged, "You use the weight of your blade to maintain motion, keeping you from using too much energy. Excellent technique."

Then the woman stepped to the side and struck Zabuza's sword while he was in the midst of bringing an attack down from above. The next bit moved too quickly for Jugo to process, but when his mind caught up, Orochitama was holding the sword and Zabuza was several feet away clutching his stomach.

"You use your body to move the blade, but you don't let the blade move you. If you are going to wield such a heavy blade, take more advantage of its weight."

Then the woman rocketed forward and swung the sword down towards Zabuza in a large downward diagonal strike. Zabuza scrambled out of the way, but as the sword was beginning to hit the ground, Orochitama flipped with it, her body following the same path the sword just took, the weight of the sword helping to spin her harder as well as it dug into the ground and acted as a pivot point, causing her to crash a foot onto Zabuza's shoulder, sending him onto the ground.

Using the force of the kick, Orochitama forced herself back into the air, still keeping hold of the sword and using it to allow her to twist in midair and transfer the motion into a full body roundhouse kick coming around from the other side of the sword, the kick would have hit Zabuza in the side if he wasn't busy laying on the ground gasping for breath.

When her feet hit the ground finally, she used her momentum to wretch the sword up from the ground, spun in place, and brought the sword down towards Zabuza's head, stopping just short of landing the hit.

"I didn't think Kubikiribocho could be used like that." Suigestsu muttered next to him. "That was like a dance."

"Orochima-tama-sama is very graceful. Her taijutsu has always looked like a dance, but she usually prefers to use her more impressive ninjutsu." Kimimaro stated. "My Bone Dances were made with her guidance."

"Damn. That must be some impressive ninjutsu." Suigetsu muttered.

Orochitama threw the sword down next to him.

"Again. From the top." She ordered.

Zabuza didn't complain. Merely grunted as he stood up, grabbed his blade and assumed a ready position. Then they all watched as Orochitama constantly dodged his blows by the barest of margins and then hit him with the force of a natural disaster. Then Zabuza would get up, and they'd do it again. Each time Orochitama spoke with a calm and slightly teasing voice; giving advice as large as eliminating the use of a particular ninjutsu to as small as adjusting his grip by three millimeters.

"So...is this a fight? Like, she's hitting him, but this seems more like training." Jugo asked.

"Oh no. It is. It's a beatdown disguised as training." Suigetsu stated firmly, "She wouldn't be making contact with her her attacks if it was just training. He pissed her off. She's just making it productive too."

"Orochitama-sama is very pragmatic." Kimimaro agreed.

All that may be true. And Jugo was sure all of this was very impressive on a very technical level that he couldn't grasp, but Jugo did learn one thing from this he knew for certain.

"I'd like to learn how to dance." Jugo decided aloud.
xxxxxx

Uchiha Itachi opened his eyes and saw the eight other illusionary forms of his fellow Akatsuki members. The atmosphere was cold, tense, and always felt like they were just waiting for someone to commit an act of betrayal.

He hated being reminded of home.

"So what's the reason we were called?" Kisami asked. "Is it time to start grabbing some jinchuuriki?"

"No." The Leader said, the eyes of the rinnegan locking onto Itachi's own sharingan and staring him down. "We are hear to discuss the traitor, Orochimaru."

Itachi kept his face stoic, but was relieved. He was looking forward to the opportunity to end the threat of the Snake Sannin. The man would be a threat to Sasuke. He would need to be removed.

"You have information on his whereabouts?" Itachi asked. It would be an innocent question. Most every member would consider it being a desire for revenge.

"No. The Snake Sannin continues to foil our attempts at detection and has managed to somehow block Zetsu from entering any of his bases." The leader said, still staring Itachi down.

"Then why are we here?" Sasori's graveled voice asked. "This is a waste of time if we have nothing new."

"We have received a report," Pein began, "of a Konoha gennin team running into the Snake Sannin during their first C-rank mission."

Itachi's blood ran cold.

"It's recent. We only got part of a report, but we had it checked out with the locals of the area as well. Across the reports we've managed to put together a description of what happened."

Itachi waited on bated breaths.

"After Orochimaru fought and lost to Uchiha Itachi, he escaped with his life. Reports indicate that after that encounter Orochimaru's priorities, methods, and appearance have all changed drastically."

"Ha, you really kicked his ass, huh?" Kisame laughed.

Itachi found nothing funny in what was said, but that wasn't unusual. Itachi often struggled to understand why others laughed at things, much less when there was a subject of things he cared about.

"What changes?" Itachi asked.

"He has stopped almost all of his outgoing missions, isolated all double agents in his organization, changed to long term goals, amassed large amounts of wealth." Pein stated, as Itachi's mind raced to think on reasons for the behavior change. Then Pein spoke up again. "Or did you mean about the fact that he is now a voluptuous woman that makes constant sexual innuendo?"

Itachi blinked. Then blinked again.

That didn't make sense. There was no logic to his actions, and the Snake Sannin was very logical. Itachi liked that. Too many people always acted in unpredictable ways, acting on complex emotions. Orochimaru had fear and greed, both easily understood. Itachi didn't see how those goals would line up with these actions.

"He began taking these actions immediately after his last encounter with us." Pein stated and Itachi felt the force of his stare increasing, "With you, Itachi."

All the eyes in the room slid over to stare at him.

Why were they staring?

"The fuck did you do to him?" Deidera asked, an appalled look on his face.

"I put him in a genjutsu and came close to killing him." He stated simply. "I don't see how this has any bearing on me."

How was he supposed to know? It was like they thought he-

Oh.

Even Kisame was giving him a look with intense emotion. "Itachi?" Kisame asked, voice questioning, "Did you fuck Orochimaru?"

"No." He stated simply. It was the truth.

None of them looked convinced.

They continued to stare.

Itachi disconnected from his illusion, stood up from his meditative position, and began to walk away. In a few moments Kisame began to stand too.

"Itachi! Wait!" He called, hurrying to catch up.

Itachi considered running and not letting him catch up. Though it would more likely make him look guilty. He settled for staying at his casual walking speed.

Kisame caught up to him in a few moments, though the fish man was gratefully silent as they-

"So was it that you are attracted to men, or you have a thing for MILF snakes?" Kisame asked.

Itachi turned to Kisame, Mangekyo blazing as he calmly stated, "I will kill you."
xxxxx

"Hehehehe." Jiraiya giggled to himself, staring through his telescope. Doing his level best to ignore the familiar chakra signature approaching him. "My what a firm peach that is~!"

"Jiraiya-sama." The ANBU spoke up. Jiraiya was tempted to ignore him for a while for the view, but it was Tadaomi, and his sensei's younger son was always stickler for the rules. "What do ya want Saru? This is quite possibly the finest ass in the country and she's bent over right now, so this better be pretty-"

"We have news on Orochimaru." The monkey masked ANBU said, holding out a scroll.

Jiraiya dropped the telescope and snatched up the parchment.

Jiraya looked at the message. It was encrypted with a familiar cypher, the one that he and his sensei had made to communicate exclusively with each other. He translated the message in his head.

Then he checked it again.

That wasn't right. Couldn't be. Orochimaru wasn't capable of it.

"Did he use another cypher?" Jiraiya asked.

"No." Saru said, though Jiraiya could hear the amusement in his voice.

Jiraiya stared at the wooden mask for a few more moments.

"Are you pranking me?" Jiraiya asked, though he figured it wasn't a prank. This was Tadaomi. The kid didn't have a funny bone.

"No. It is all correct and factual."

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

Jiraiya had seen Orochimaru attempt to flirt. It was mission related a few times over their career. Tsunade didn't have the temperament for cover work and Sensei always seemed to think he'd do something crazy that would cause chaos, so he kept trying to give Orochimaru a chance at it, and he sucked at it.

He continued to be baffled on why complimenting facial symmetry was not considered good flirting.

Flirty was an art. It required both confidence, comfort, and humor. Orochimaru had the first, was passible at the second, and had no hope for the third. Hell, the traitor had made comment a few times that he didn't understand what people saw for attraction in boobs.

Boobs! Who didn't get boobs!?

If what the paper said is true, then Orochimaru had to have been working on being able to do this for years!

Why?

What reason would Orochimaru have for pretending to be a voluptuous and flirty-

Jiraiya dropped the scroll as the pieces fell in place.

"My god." It made sense. Who kept hunting him? Who was it that understood his methods? It all made sense.

"Orochimaru is doing this to mess with me specifically!" He yelled as he slammed his foot down on a rock next to him.

"What?" Saru asked in confusion.

"Think about it Saru! Think!" Jiraya stated, pointing to his head. "Which of Orochimaru's enemies would this sort of behavior give him an advantage on? Me! He just so happened to do it on a mission with my godson? Bullshit. He's trying to call me out. He's trying to effect me. This is personal." Jiraiya said with conviction.

"That..." Saru stated before fading off, "Is actually a better theory than most of what we had."

"Exactly." Jiraiya said before picking back up his telescope and looking back to where he had been looking.

"What are you doing?" Saru asked. "We need to return."

"Oh sure. Just a last inspection. For- uh-" Jiraya trailed off and let out a giggle. "Any Orochimaru-ness."

Silence fell as Jiraiya started giggling himself.

"Are you done?" Saru asked impatiently.

"I don't know." Jiraya said lightly, "Orochimaru is a tricky bastard. I think this inspection could take a loooong-"

"Be on the road in ten minutes or I'll burn your book manuscript." Saru stated before leaving.

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "I swear, how that kid managed to land a woman I'll never know."

Jiraiya stared for a bit longer.

"Fuck, I'm gonna have nightmares about vagina snakes." He groused.
xxxxx

Notes:

AN: Done! So sorry for not updating many of my stories this month. It's been crazy for me. For personal reasons and for business. The real-estate market in Florida is stupid right now. I have clients that are bidding 20k over list price and being outbid because there is so much demand right now. What that means is I put in a lot of work without getting much actual money as buyers give up. It's the pits.

In other news, the Discord I write on has come to the conclusion that JK Simmons should voice Jiraiya and I think I agree.

Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I was having a...well it wasn't a good day but it hadn't been a bad day either. The life of micromanaging psychopaths and doing paperwork was never glamorous, but it wasn't always terrible either. Having found people to delegate work to had also proven to be quite a wind fall for me. It meant I actually got everything I wanted done in a single day done; when I wasn't arranging clean up over people murdering each other over their chakra theories. The regular political stuff was usually manageable, if only because we were such a small village most people had no idea who we were.

"The Daimyo has expressed concerns over-" My current courier stated.

"The Daimyo of Rice is twelve. What does his regent say?" I cut in.

The courier's face twitched at being cut off but continued. "The Regent says he accepts the plan wholeheartedly."

Of course he did. The regent was terrified of me, for good reason, and I made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

Money.

"Excellent. You ran a long way to get the message here quickly. Take the rest of the day off and swing by the cafeteria." I stated.

The man looked a little queasy in response.

"We've set up a supply line with the Pink Canoe now. We have sold off the pork we had. They won't have any pork dish for two months and everyone get's one free ice cream cone." I offered.

The man actually got tears in his eyes. "The gods bless you."

The mostly pork and rice diet had been weighing on people apparently.

That was when my day went south. I felt something brush against my chakra and there was a puff of smoke and a cobra sat on my desk.

"Manda wishes to speak with you." The reptile said in a raspy hiss.

"Kenzo." I said as I eyed the snake. It's hood was flared and it stretched it's six foot length up from my desk so it's head was taller than mine. I put my face into a pout. "Manda made it very clear he didn't want me summoning him basically ever, so I'm sure that this can wait until-"

"No." The snake hissed. "Manda requires to speak with all new summoners."

My self control kept me from bolting upwards in my seat.

"I given no one access to the summoning scrolls and I have been your summoner for decades." I said dismissively.

"You have." The snake said slowly, as if the act of speaking strained him. "Yet you also have not. We are not fools. We feel it. You are changed."

I drum my fingers on the desk. The snakes knew something was different. Probably not the whole picture, but they knew shenanigans happened and that I'm not just Orochimaru pulling a long con of some wort. I hadn't expected that and no amount of flirting with the reptile would get me anywhere.

"Fine. I'll come speak with Manda. Reverse summon me in three days. I will speak with him then."

"You would tell the great Manda to wait!? He requests your presence? You will leave now and-"

Quick as a flash I lashed a hand out and grasped the snake's maw, shutting it with two fingers that might as well have been made of iron despite their gentle hold.

"You doubt my identity, but do you doubt my power, Kenzo-kun?" I asked sweetly.

The snake attempted to pull its head back. I didn't let it.

"Just as Manda has subordinates, so do I. I have plans that can't be interrupted and jobs that need to be delignated if I am to be gone for hours. Manda will understand this."

I internally winced at the aggressive stance I was taking. This was not the sort of negotiating I liked to do with beings I worked with. However, Manda worked with Orochimaru, and thus me, because we were capable of killing him. The snakes were not ones to do things for cuddly ideals like loyalty and friendship.

Snakes ate other snakes all the time after all.

I released the cobra's mouth. He jerked away and let out an angry hiss. I pouted at him.

"So rude. I'm just fulfilling my responsibilities." Though truthfully it more had to do with maintaining power and control. If I acted like I'd dance to their tune they'd take advantage of it. "I do know how to thank a messenger though."

I reached into my desk and pulled out a cage with a mouse the size of my fist. I kept a few in a cage nearby specifically to pay my summons when needed.

I tossed the rodent. There was a brief squeak of pain then the Cobra looked much thicker just under his head.

"Very well. I will communicate your message to Manda. Three days at this time we will reverse summon you. Be prepared." The cobra ordered before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

I heaved a sigh. Now I had to deal with Manda, the homicidal giant snake.

Just as I was massaging my temples a knock came from the door. An unnecessary gesture since I could sense who was on the other side already, but I appreciated the consideration.

"Enter, Haku-chan." I stated, going for chipper but coming out as just tired.

The door opened to reveal Haku standing there, without a mask.

"Is this a bad time?"

"No. It's fine. Come in, what do you need?" I asked.

"Zabuza-sama just finished this week's training and wanted me to come and give you a report on their performance." Haku stated.

A smile ghosted my face. It had been three weeks since Zabuza first barged into my office demanding to know where I went wrong with my ninja. Since then he had managed to consistently put his foot in his mouth when giving me a report about them.

He had apparently decided to solve this by getting his assistant, Haku, to give the report for him.

Such a brave man, Zabuza.

"And? How are they coming?" I asked, leaning forward.

"They have begun...progressing." Haku stated. "Most of them could function as trained ninja but lacked the basics. Getting the basics is helping many of them progress their unusual abilities."

That had been what I was hoping to hear.

"Excellent. You are doing well Haku-chan." I praised. The ice user fidgeted awkwardly. Zabuza paid out compliments sparingly and Haku rarely had the chance to get compliments from others, resulting in him looking pained every time someone said nice things to him.

"It's Zabuza-sama's teaching." Haku deflected.

"How many do you think would fit into and do well in the Chunnin exams coming up in two months?" I asked.

"If they keep up the training there is about two dozen that fit in the age range and skill level for the Chunnin exams." Haku said slowly.

"How many of them do you think could actually win the tournament part of the competition?" I pressed.

Silence filled the room for a few beats.

"Three of them would be strong contenders. Two more potentials." Haku stated. "Though truthfully, it would be a shaky bet for all of them. It is in Konoha and they might go against-" Haku cut himself off. "Against some very talented genin."

I smirked at the avoided subject.

Five possible gennin? Not enough for two teams and I was almost positive who he meant. I would need one more for a full second team.

"Tell me, Haku-chan, did you ever hold the rank of gennin?" I asked.

Brown eyes widened as he immediately got my meaning.

"I- I'm not-"

"You were never part of the Hidden Mist. You have never actually held a rank, and you are still of an age that can take the exam without suspicion. You are unquestionably talented enough to take the exam." I stated.

"I won't leave Zabuza-sama." Haku stated firmly.

"You don't have to." I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "You would be free to follow Zabuza however you like, but you are helping Zabuza train my soldiers. It would be helpful if you had a rank to along with that." I said as I placed an Oto headband on the desk before him.

"Why-" Haku hesitated before continuing, "Why would I want to be a gennin and take the exams?"

"I can't see into your mind Haku-chan." I said as I leaned back. "I can't know for certain, but here's my thought processes. You want to be useful to Zabuza above all else, but there is a part of you, a small one, that wants to be recognized for your work beyond just him. It's one thing to know you are skilled and talented and having a parental figure tell you that, but it's another thing entirely to have it confirmed by other people."

"I don't need anyone's ap-" He began,

"But I also think that the idea of being a part of something bigger, even if it's just while your here, is also very attractive to someone like you, who just wants to belong." I stated.

The atmosphere became tense as Haku stared at me. I ignored his stare and began shuffling some paperwork.

"You're right. You don't see into my mind." Haku said coolly.

"My mistake then." I admitted easily. It wasn't as if I expected Haku to confirm his emotional weak-points to me. Such a thing was very un-ninja. "Regardless, I'd consider you a wonderful asset to have and I'd appreciate your assistance. Please bring it up with your master. I think he would agree it is a good opportunity for you."

"I...will relay your message, Orochitama-san." My lip quirked. As his boss's boss, I technically should be called "sama". Ah, teenage rebellion.

"Thank you. If you do accept, I want you to report to Training Room 5 at noon in two days." I said in dismissal.

The ice user stood and began to leave. "Haku," I called, stopping him. I tossed the Sound headband to him, "Take this with you. You can return it if you change your mind."

Haku delayed only a moment longer before leaving without another word.

"If he accepts that will be really helpful." I muttered before standing. The paperwork could wait. I needed to finish development on the nature chakra draining seal and finish a few more projects.

I hesitated before leaving the room. I did also need to finish correspondence with the Daimyo of the Land of Mountains, and the Land of Volcanoes. I also needed to send correspondence to a few Hidden Villages as the leader of Oto and not as Orochimaru.

I had so much I needed to do and such little time. I was walking a tightrope with unspeakable horrors at the bottom and I wasn't even sure I really wanted what was on the other side.

"I've set enough into motion." I muttered to myself as I resolved to do a bit more Science, rather than the paperwork. I'd probably spend all day in three days doing politics after all. "Might as well see this through till the end."
xxxxx

Dosu glanced about the room in apprehension. He had been called in along with a few others. Small numbers likely meant good things, or at least it used to, before Sound got all the paint jobs and started pretending it shat rainbows. It used to be that small numbers were an actual meeting and large numbers were when everyone there was going to be experimented on. So the group of four other people he walked into would ordinarily have made him feel safe.

Now he wasn't sure what the fuck it meant.

The people in the room were one's he did recognize though. Zaku was here, the crazy bastard. He hadn't been around long but managed to have the first experiment on him be successful with no real side effects. He was going to get himself killed if he didn't learn to not strut his stuff around like he knows shit.

He also spotted Kin, a woman whose sole talent seemed to be not being around when shit was happening. It happened too frequently to be an accident though. If it had just been them he'd figure he was being set up for a mission brief, but the other two people made him pause.

Suigetsu and Jugo were here. Suigetsu was another experiment gone wrong and Jugo...well he wasn't sure if Jugo went right or wrong, but being near him was generally a good way to get the Sound Retirement Plan.

"Hi, Dosu." Jugo said from his place, looking nervous and all the world like he didn't want to be there.

Dosu was seriously considering leaving, fuck orders. There were too many people here for a small job, too little for a big one. If they had a job, it was probably to stress test Jugo to see how long it takes before he breaks and kills them all.

Then he felt a kick to his back that sent him sprawling into the room. He recovered with ninja speed, which still felt like an eternity of being vulnerable.

"Just standing in doorways while not being mindful of your surroundings will get you killed. Clearly you were looking for a Deep Lunge Sprint." A hated voice stated.

"Oh!" Jugo's voice stated, suddenly sounding much happier. "Hi Zabuza! Hi Haku! Are we training?"

Dosu's sole eye beheld the Demon in the doorway. Zabuza had appeared in Sound and had promptly made all Chunnin and lower hate their lives. His training was grueling, mind-numbing, and exhausting as he pushed everyone to their limits on pain of death.

He had a particular habit of singling Dosu out and assigning him extra laps, extra push ups, and any other extra work he could think of, smiling in sadistic glee the whole time.

Dosu's eye slid to Zabuza's assistant. Some girl named Haku. The girl was wearing a Sound headband and seemed to particularly salty about something. First he'd seen of any emotion on the ice queen.

"I hate small talk so lets cut to the chase. Congratulations. You six are all going to the chunin exams." Zabuza announced like he was telling a waiter they forgot his onions.

"Since when do we participate in the Chunin Exams?" Zaku asked arrogantly. The dumbass's continued survival in the face of constantly disrespecting Zabuza baffled him. "It's not like we need to be hanging around a bunch a kids with fingers up their ass. What braindead fucker thought that was a good idea?"

"Ara ara." Death announced and Dosu's blood went cold. "Braindead? Such mean words, Zaku-kun."

Zaku went white as a sheet and Zabuza's face became unbearably smug. Dosu turned slowly to see that, at some point, Orochitama had entered the room from behind them. Despite there not being a door. She sauntered towards them armed with only a pink sundress and a polite smile. It was fucking terrifying.

"I- I- I was just-" Zaku stammered.

"It's fine Zaku-kun. I'm sure you'll make up for it in the effort you put into training." The devil stated with poisoned honey.

The kid with cannon hands turned to Zabuza in hope, apparently decided he was the lesser of the dangers.

"Don't look at me kid. I won't be running this." Zabuza responded.

"Whoa whoa whoa." Suigetsu interrupted. "What do you mean you aren't going to be running this? You said this is going to be for the Chunin exams. I thought we'd be training?"

"You are!" The...thing that used to be Orochimaru said. "The chunin exams are a personal project for me, so I'm going to be dedicating a little time every day to train you all."

They had Orochitama's personal attention for training? That was...a very mixed blessing. The woman was strong. He'd seen that. Her training could increase his power, make him stronger, take him a step closer to being free.

It could also get him killed but he was a shinobi. One always had to gamble on the risk versus the reward.

"Orochitama-sama." Kin said, suddenly speaking up. The girl did an amazing job of hiding the fear in her voice. "We are prepared for the exams. We are some of your best gennin, we will be able to take on most any coopetition we'd be faced with. You need not-"

"I'm sure you could do well in the exams." The woman interrupted, "But I don't want you all to just do well. I expect you to win."

Kin and Zaku stared on, flabbergasted. But Dosu? Dosu just felt his smile stretch into a wicked grin. He was quite fond of winning.
xxxxxxx

Notes:

A bit short of a chapter for me but this is a transition chapter and I was struggling a bit with how to say what I wanted to say in interesting ways. Next chapter will be a bit of transition too, but it will be more interesting stuff. We'll get a brief montage of the chunnin hopefuls training and Orochitama will get briefly speak to some important people before having to go deal with some of her summons bullshit.

In other news, I now have a discord! Feel free to join it.

Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Summary:

Phew. What a chapter! Long one this time. A whole lot happened there. The speech was no Independence Day speech and the people listening probably think she's full of shit, but I don't think it was a half bad speech. Hope you all liked it! Feel free to join my Discord to keep up and be part of the creative process! Link in Bio

Chapter Text

Minoru Tatewaki was finally being given his rightful dues. A meeting was being held, with almost all of Hidden Sound present, and he was given a spot on the stage. The last month had seen the musicians of Sound make great progress and a few of the people had rapidly taken to the new and unusual instruments that the goddess Orochitama had commissioned scientists to make. The object of his worship also granted him an opportunity to hear what she wanted from them with a genjutsu to transcribe the melodies directly to his mind, which he in turn could put to paper.

It was a glorious process and his delight of being rightfully acknowledged of his greatness by the most divine of beings made him amazed that he did not simply forget it all with being in the physical presence of such mountains of beauty.

Now, due to his ability to see her vision made reality, he was placed on the stage alongside those that lead the military departments of Sound. Hibiki, the head of the Science division, Momochi, the brute that had been training the peons, Yakushi, Orochitama's chief assistant, and Teruki, the one who had been directing the drama department since it's inception.

Perhaps this was to announce that he, Minoru Tatewaki, would be taking over Yakushi's position as her most trusted lieutenant.

The large gathering of people were not loud. The average Sound ninja was aware it had more dangerous predators about and didn't seek to draw attention to itself. However, whatever small sounds there were disappeared as Orochitama stepped on the stage, dressed in red satin halter top dress and a black shawl draped over she shoulders. Such beauty could make any room grow silent.

"Citizens of Hidden Sound." The voice of the goddess said, her voice sweeping over the people and captivating them. "Today I come to you, not as the Snake Sannin, but as the leader of this village. I have come today to do what some of the most mighty people in the world find to be an impossible task for themselves."

Ha! Orochitama did the impossible daily! This should not be surprising.

Then the woman bowed low at the waist and he found himself shocked.

"I apologize. I have wronged you."

Before his mind could even process what was happening, she had stood back up again, back as straight and proud as always.

"I have been making changes and acting differently. It has made many of you feel uncertain and afraid, because changes mean we no longer are certain of our future. If we don't know what happens next, how can we expect the next knife in the dark?"

We? She was placing herself on the same level as these plebeians?

"Over these months I have not given you the comfort of knowing what is to come. Of what the future will bring you. You, Sounds most valuable assets, were left ignorant. That changes today."

She was to share her plans with them? All of them? He could scarcely believe it. No ninja worth their salt showed their cards to the metaphorical table.

"Sound deserves more than it has gotten so far. We are the outcasts, the rebels, and the weirdos. We got dealt a bad hand or let our passions run too wild. We have been the little guy that the larger villages could push around as they pleased. I want more than that for you all. I want you to have a chance to succeed. A chance to be happy."

The room began to fill with an air of anticipation. This was shocking, alarming even. These were words that sounded comforting but at the same time...well they were very dangerous too.

"I have wronged you too. I hadn't been giving you all the tools you needed to succeed. That has been the changes I've been making. I've come to know of a looming threat. One that could kill me as easily a Jounin can kill a Gennin. It made me realize that I was not taking care of my greatest assets. My allies. My soldiers. My scientists. My Sound."

Impossible. She must be exaggerating for the little people's benefit. Trying to identify with their weakness. There was nothing that could so easily destroy the force of nature that was Orochitama.

"So I will build us up. Preserve as many of our lives as I can so that we might grow stronger together. Already this has begun working. Our scientists have made more progress through cooperation than they had alone. Our troops have grown to be more of a threat now that we train together rather than hide away and train apart. We will continue to work together. We will continue to grow. We will become a force with which even the five major Hidden Villages will have to contend with." The woman's voice grew more passionate as she spoke, filled with conviction in her words. "The Chunnin Exams approaches. We have two team that will make all of the hidden villages look to us in shock. We are going to debut so powerfully that it'll shock the other villages to their core, and it won't be just from the teams."

The room was transfixed, the people had begun to sit on the edge of their seat showing various shades of excitement and fear.

"It'll be from all of you that are willing to fight for what we have built here. This mission will be on a volunteer basis. It will be dangerous. It will be bold; audacious even. We are going to set ourselves up at Konoha's doorstep and have them excited to see us there. It will be positions that require all of your skill, but little, if any of it, for combat. We are going fight them in a way they are totally unequipped for." The snake-goddess stepped towards the podium and rested her arms on it to lean forward. Then she spoke again with a voice filled with mischief. "We will fight them with a smile."

Tatewaki had seen plenty of people fight while smiling, though even he had trouble believing how someone could-

"Ara ara. All of you look so doubtful." Their leader teased from the podium. "However, what about me has been scaring you for the last few months?"

There was a rustling in the crowd as people shifted and a few gasped.

"We will offer them smiles, food, entertainment, and even joy. They won't know what to do with themselves. We will confound their understanding with music, plays, food, and games. Our village is going to grow rapidly. Gaining power and influence so rapidly that our kindness will frighten them more than any threats we can level against them."

He could see it! Being graced with the kindness of such a goddess would of course catch anyone unprepared! The goal was not to kill. Not to strike. But to confuse and distract. The leaders at the top of villages would be busy looking for the plan and the hearts and minds of the peons would be swayed with the delights. A brilliant plan that no other ninja would think of!

"So, I ask for your help. For you to step out of the roles you usually fill so that we might fight them with the weapons they utterly unprepared for. Even if you do not go, you will face no reprisals. In fact, we are now even instituting a salary program that you will receive pay no matter what and get bonuses for completing mission." She tossed silk tresses over her shoulder. "You will receive money either way, though papers are being passed out on what the bonuses will be for the relevant positions in the upcoming mission."

Oh, was that what that paper was? Tatewaki had trouble paying attention to money when there was for more important things to worry about. However, papers were being passed out among the group and low levels of shock and whispered conversations buzzed in the room.

"Contact the administrator for the appropriate job to sign up for the position. Further interviews may come after. I look forward to all the help you are willing to give. We are Sound. We are in this together. Thank you." The woman said and backed away from the podium.

The room was deathly quiet. Some were staring in awe at her retreating form, some were staring at the paper that had been passed out in naked greed, and some stared into the distance without giving a hint to what was happening beneath. The speech left them listless, uncertain, and mentally exhausted. They were missing what the correct response was to such magnificence.

Tatewaki stood to his feet and began to clap. The crowd caught on a moment later and began to follow suit, if only to acknowledge what happened just now. Sound had changed. The paradigm had shifted, and they were informed they would be active parts of that shift. They needed to show their thanks for the opportunity granted to them by the divine.

After he was satisfied that enough of them were clapping he went to follow after the perfectly shaped woman to express to her his adulation of her job well done. In moments he found her standing in a corridor with Yakushi discussing something.

"We received word during your speech. We found her. We also received word that the leader of Takigakure is going to-" The man cut himself off as a snake appeared in front of the woman in a puff of smoke.

"Summoner. It is time." The snake hissed.

The pale beauty graced him with a smile, practically ignoring Yakushi. "I shouldn't be gone for more than an two hours. Make sure the place doesn't burn down while I'm gone."

She glanced at Yakushi as she said, but it was clear she was talking to him. The grey haired teenager lacked the raw charisma necessary for the task.

"Tatewaki-kun, stay out of trouble while I'm gone and be nice to the people that come to sign up for the jobs for the Music Department."

"I won't let you down!" He reassured.

"Kenzo. Let's go." She said to the snake, and in a puff of smoke the world dimmed as she left.

"Come Tatewaki-san." Yakushi said to him with a gesture of his hand, "We should get to work if we don't want to disappoint Orochitama-sama when she returns."

He gave a hum of agreement. Yakushi had become more bearable in the last few weeks. He seemed to also have realized the greatness that was Minoru Tatewaki. As a result he found that his own brilliance and productivity had grown as he finally caught sight of the keen mind and attention to detail of the teenager that everyone but Orochitama missed on him.

Truly, only Orochitama had a comparable eye for talent as he did.

xxxxxx

In a puff of smoke I found myself in the rolling hills of the realm of snakes. The greens and yellows of the grasslands went off in every direction, only occasionally broken up with patches of stone rising from the ground and the simple wooden houses of the snake summons.

It baffled me that Orochimaru never once questioned how the snakes managed to build those with no hands.

"You truly wish to meet with Manda-sama wearing...that." The snake hissed looking me up and down.

"Would you have preferred the giant purple bow?" I asked dismissively. "I'm dressing up in something nice as a sign of respect."

The snake looked dubious but slithered down a cobblestone path into a valley dipping down to the right. I followed after, wondering if the snakes built the roads too or if they existed before the snakes moved in. It might have even been made for the snakes before they were created.

We reached a stone platform that let us look out over the valley. The moment we stepped up to it there was a rumbling and the sound of moving air Manda rose to look down at us. He was so large that it almost sounded like a bus driving past because of the displaced air. He towered over us, a single grown human was about the size of his eye. When I just read the pages of the manga that never really clicked with me how awe inspiring a creature that large was. His very scales had more in common with a hoplite shield than the tiny flecks the average snake had, but this still glistened beautifully under the sunlight.

Manda was a wonder of the world. It was a shame he was such an asshole.

"Summoner." The creature hissed in a voice loud enough to rattle the rocks around us. "Explain yourself."

"Explain what?" I asked mildly as I put on a mask of polite curiosity as I smoothed out my vibrant red dress and shuffled my high-heeled feet.

I'd never seen a snake look so unimpressed.

"I don't have time for your foolishness." The snake growled, lashing it's tail into a hill nearby, kicking up a cloud of dirt dirt and debris. "Explain yourself. Who are you?"

"I am your summoner. Same as I have been for decades. I go by Orochitama now though." I replied, paying his temper tantrum no mind. "I have the summoning seal. It is still a part of my soul, you can sense its presence."

Manda let out a hissing sound that I took for laughter.

"It is a part of you, and yet it is not. It is not over a mere portion of your soul. It is incomplete! And you stand before me now, in a different bearing and dressed in a manner unsuited to dealing death. You are different; you are not Orochimaru."

"Unsuited to dealing death?" I asked, affronted. "This dress kills."

The snake rumbled in displeasure.

"I am Orochimaru, yes, but it is only a part of me. The whole is Orochitama. I am your summoner. The seal functions and I have kept my end of all deals made with your people. There is nothing to discuss." I reply simply, making sure to keep any emotion out of my voice.

"You admit to a new name! It is not yours on the contract! I have grounds to remove our bargain." It yelled and bobbed its head side to side in agitation, making a whirling sound in the air as he moved.

"Ara ara. No need to throw a hissy fit Manda." I replied glibly. the snake was posturing and pushing out. He did not work with Orochimaru out of any sort of comradery or love. I let my chakra out and impress on it my feelings of anger at this whole charade. The weight of the energy has Manda and his attendant flinch back. "Let's cut to the heart of matters. You worked with me before because I was stronger than you. That has not changed. You will continue to serve me or I will find another summoning contract and work with them. Is that what you would prefer?"

Manda hissed and moved farther away but he didn't respond. A summoning contract worked both ways. The snakes helped me but I helped the snakes too. Summons spent more time fighting each other than they did fighting humans. Much like how Jinchuriki kept the balance of villages powerful summoners kept the balance between the summons. If I got another summon and they decided to fight the snakes Manda would quickly find himself with me as his enemy, and I deterred other summons from fighting the snakes for the same reason.

"Very well. We shall work with you still, but you will sign the contract again. The way it sticks to half your soul is irksome."

I narrowed my eyes. It was irksome? Was that the only reason? He wanted something else from this. What would signing the contract give?

My eyes widened as I realized his angle, but then I settled for a smile. He likely thought I cared if people doubted I was actually Orochimaru. Resigning the contract would throw doubt onto my identity, which would have been a problem several months ago. Now? It just played to my upcoming interests.

"Very well Manda. I will sign the contract again. In thanks for your understanding I shall send the body of one hundred pigs for you to eat." I said easily. I had a hundred that were beyond their expiration date for humans, but not for a snake.

Manda was silent for a moment, likely thrown for a loop at how easily I agreed, before finally lowering his head until it was level with me.

"Very well, Orochitama. Go see the sage and sign the contract again. Then be gone from my sight and don't summon me unless you are willing to pay dearly." So said the snake before turning away to lower itself back down into the valley where its body lay coiled.

I shook my head. The pride of Manda was impressive.

"Come summoner. I shall guide you." The cobra that acted as Manda's assistant stated before slithering down the path.

"I've been there before you know, I don't need the guidance." I stated, already knowing I would be ignored. Kenzo was very particular about tradition and rules.

My heels clacked down the road as I followed after. The winding road path soon took us around the backside of a hill before descending into a cave. The entrance to the cave had pillars carved into the shape of coiled snakes with bowed heads.

"Great Sage. We have need of you and the scroll." Kenzo called, not entering the cave.

We stood in silence for a few moments before the sage slithered out of the cave. A white snake the length of a human being. Unlike most other snakes this one was adorned with clothing. A headdress that resembled a wide crown that had a cloth hanging down the back of her head and hung on either side of her collapsed cobra hood.

"Xiao? Is that you?" The white snake asked as she slithered out.

"No. It is Kenzo. Xiao is long dead." The snake beside me said curtly.

The sage looked at us, uncomprehending, then seemed to come to herself. "Oh. Yes. Kenzo. My mistake. And you are-" She cut herself off as she looked at me. "My my. Interesting."

The snake bobbed her head and began to look me up and down, tongue flickering in and out.

"What have you done to yourself?" The snake asked as it slithered around me to look at me through different angles. "I can't tell if you utterly botched something or succeeded spectacularly."

"Yes!" I answered.

"Yes she says." The old snake gave a hissing cackle. "So, you are here to try to become a Sage again? Think you'll have a better shot now that you have all these changes?"

"No. We need the summoning scroll. Manda-sama wishes for her to sign her name again." Kenzo spoke up impatiently.

I however found her question to be very interesting. She thought I wanted to try for it again based on my new form. Would something about me being different than Orochimaru make my chances at mastering it better?

"The scroll? Oh! The scroll. Yes. One moment." The snake spoke before slithering off. The sound of a few crashes echoed out of the cave before the White Snake Sage placed the scroll in front of us.

"Trouble with finding it?" I asked teasingly.

"Oh no. It was just being used to support my table. One of the legs is broken." She responded, as though one of the most valuable objects in the world acting as a table leg was perfectly normal.

I loved her.

"Sign." Kenzo stated after flicking the scroll open.

I rolled my eyes. I was surprised that Kenzo could still slither around with such a large stick up his ass. Still, no sense in making him pissy. I pulled a knife from Victoria's Secret Compartment and in moments my name was signed in my blood.

"Done. I shall return you now." Kenzo stated as I felt him begin to channel chakra.

"Wait a moment please." I ask before turning to the sage, "Do you think I have a better chance at becoming a sage now than compared to before?"

"The strength to become a sage is a power that you must find within yourself." The old reptile said regally before continuing. "So how the fuck would I know if you're ready?"

I gave a giggle in response and opened my mouth to question further, but felt Kenzo complete his technique and in a puff of smoke I found myself again in the hall that I had been summoned from. Though the hall did have something it didn't have before.

"Ara ara! I don't think this is the appropriate place for that you two." I announced, causing Kidomaru and a female scientist to shoot apart from each other, abandoning their attempts to wrestle each other's tongues into submission with their own tongue.

It took me a moment to recognize the woman. Ayasugi was a mousey woman that had been the one to invent a genjutsu seal recently. An all around pleasant woman to be around, when she wasn't being an extreme sadist.

"Orochitama-sama! I was- I mean we were-"

"I'm quite familiar with what you were doing, thank you." I say with mischief. "Maybe try a broom closet next time."

"We weren't going to do anything bad." Ayasugi said, blushing and speaking with her distant and shy voice. "I was just going to stick my finger-"

"Okay! I'm sorry! Won't happen again!" Kidomaru said before lifting Ayasugi and running bodily away with her.

That was adorable. I approved. Though I had my own work to get to. The work of a village leader was never done.
xxxxxx

Hirzuen badly wanted to be done with this shit, but he couldn't ever seem to escape the position. First he had seen Orochimaru as the solution and that ended...well it ended. Then Minato died. After that Asuma had been showing promise if he would just apply himself more. But he pushed too hard and now Asuma wanted little to do with him, much less the position of Hokage.

Right now his next best solution was...well.

"Her boobs were how big exactly?" Jiraiya demanded of Kakashi, though not with his typical lecherous smile that such a question would invoke in him.

"I'm not having this discussion with you." Kakashi replied lazily. "Go get one of my gennin to henge into it. Naruto in particular has a near perfect grasp of her looks."

"Fine, now about these sundre-" Jiraiya began again.

"Jiraiya. Enough." Hiruzen groaned. "Let us do something productive."

"This is productive." Jiraiya muttered like a toddler.

This. This was his student who managed to most be what he imagined the three to be able to become.

He'd really fucked up.

"Kakashi. If you would. Go over the things that were not put in the reports." Hiruzen said as he idly stuffed his pipe with more tobacco.

"I suspect that she's gotten in over her head with a group of Missing Nin. She didn't give a name for them, but she dropped enough hints to say that it was about three months before our meeting that she had a falling out." Kakashi sat back and pinched the bridge of his nose. "At the very least she wants us to think something happened then. She's implied as well that it had something to do with-"

Kakashi took a moment to clear his throat, emotion clogging the pipe-way for a moment.

"She implied it had something to do with Obito. She didn't say it out right, but she mentioned finding out he was alive in the same timeframe of her leaving Akatsuki, this group of missing nin."

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe in consideration.

"He's fucking with you." Jiraiya said simply. "He's messing with your head."

"Why? What does it benefit?" Kakashi asked simply.

"Motivation to go after Akatsuki. I don't think anything else could motivate you to go after them more than that implication." Jiraiya said firmly.

"Probably." Hiruzen stated as he tapped a finger on the worn wood of his pipe, "I wouldn't throw it out as completely false though. There were plenty of more reasonable ways to point us at Akatsuki, and it being Obito is only a high priority for Kakashi. If we are meant to solve the problem something more pressing to Konoha as a whole would be better."

Jiraiya gave a reluctant grunt of acknowledgment.

"I have been hearing about Akatsuki. Intel does suggest Orochimaru was a member at some point too. The whispers at their objectives that I hear...well they would likely give Konoha better reason to gear up than just an MIA gennin being a member." Jiraiya admitted. "Maybe he's trying to get at one of your brats?"

"She had every opportunity to grab them." Kakashi said with a shake of his head. "She taught them while there and, if anything, kept trying to remind them that she was dangerous and shouldn't trust her." Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, "Though I suppose it could have been reverse psychology."

"He helped teach your kids? He hates teaching kids." Jiraiya said with a raised eyebrow.

Sarutobi nodded in agreement. Orochimaru's attempt at an actual gennin team had exploded spectacularly. The man had no patience for teaching people things that he thought to be simple.

"Image." Jiraiya finally stated. "This is about image. Being seen as nicer, kinder, and much less of a threat so we focus on more pressing matters."

That thought had merit. That seemed Orochimaru's style.

"You think this is a distraction?" Hiruzen asked.

"Yeah. Which makes me more certain he's not lying either. Dripping a few choice facts to us that gets us looking left while he ducks right. He's planning something and doesn't even need to lie. Just make us look at the other really scary thing." Jiraiya stated.

"What are we meant to be looking away from though?" Hiruzen asked.

Silence descended as the three white haired men pondered the question.

"Mist?" Kakashi asked. "She came for the money, but she also made sure to grab Zabuza too. She also didn't kill her opponent which I'm pretty sure was Terumi Mei."

"You're sure Mei was working with Zabuza?" Jiraiya asked.

"No. I didn't exactly see them talking together, but context implied that they were working together." Kakashi responded. "Though really, I only know that because Orochitama told us that was what was happening. Other than that the only thing I have to go on is that Mei spat lava at the bridge, with us on it."

"That's not very damming." Jiraiya pointed out. "This might be a double bluff. Though if Mei was there to fight with Zabuza it means that Mist is going to have a civil war pretty soon."

Hiruzen lit his pipe and took a needed drag of the nicotine. "Mist doing that could lead to another shinobi war." Hiruzen muttered. "But either Orochimaru wants us to think there is going to be a rebellion there, or he's distracting us from it."

"That question tells us basically nothing. Until we get something else we'd just be circling the issue." Kakashi pointed out. "Besides, if any village is set to interfere with Mist it's us. We'll have to act when we get more information there. We might need to make her stick her head out again."

"What? We just throw out snake-chow and kids with rare bloodlines and daddy issues while we wait with a big net?" Jiraiya said dismissively.

"Actually, she mentioned wanting to speak with you specifically. Or rather, to speak with Naruto's godfather."

"I fucking knew it!" Jiraiya cried, standing up abruptly, his chair falling back with a clatter that stabbed directly into Hiruzen's temples. "This IS about me specifically!"

"Jiraiya, sit down." Hiruzen said. "We don't even have a way to contact him for a meeting, so it doesn't really matter."

"Yeah, well he comes plotting for you specifically don't come whining to me when it catches you by surprise."

Hiruzen rolled his eyes. "I have a different thought. Follow the money. He took his money and all his assets. He had to have worked with others to manage to pull all that. Likely one of the smaller villages that he could strong arm into helping him. They would want a cut. If we look for a sudden boom of money, we might be able to find some more loose threads."

"A lot of money will be changing hands too though. Gato left a power vacuum, various shipping companies are going to try and take advantage of that. Even if no one stole his supplies there'd be a huge upset in the economy." Kakashi pointed out. "Plus I don't think she'd be foolish enough to spend money that would set off that much notice."

"True, but I meant-"

"Okay. Stop. Kakashi. Stop with calling him 'she'. It was an act." Jiraiya rudely interrupted.

"I'm not so sure." Kakashi said with a shake of his head. "Orochitama is absolutely female. It was no illusion. She smelled like a woman, talked like one, walked like one, behaved in social settings like one, and her form responded to physics in a way that an illusion wouldn't be able to keep up with. I can't speak much for Orochimaru, but Orochitama is unquestionably female."

That was something that had been possessing Hiruzen's mind for a while. Kakashi had seemed very certain and he was inclined to believe him. The question would be why his former student would choose to gender swap like that. Orochimaru in the past had little to say on gender other than speaking dismissively over it and saying something about it being a social construct with biological link, but would refuse to elaborate further on the basis of it being very boring.

"She smells like a woman? Responds to physics? Kakashi, did you-" Jiraiya was saying, face filling with a look that spoke of both fascination and repulsion.

A knock on the door interrupted the question. It was Saru, judging by the cadence given and the feel of the chakra on the other side. Hiruzen gave a pulse of chakra to let the man know he could enter.

"Hokage-sama. Mitarashi Anko here to see you, you said not to be disturbed but considering subject matter I thought you might want to hear what she has to say."

Anko?

All at once several pieces clicked for him. They could contact Orochimaru. Through Anko's summons. They would pass on a message for the right price. A simple price when it could be solved with livestock.

"Thank you Saru. Send her in."

The young woman came barreling into the room with all the calm of a smoking exploding tag.

"Hokage-sama! I- you- I got- fuck! Explain!" Anko said, alternating wildly between anger and confusion. Something had her quite riled. The last time he'd seen her this upset was when they had to shut down her favorite dango place for health code violations.

"What needs explaining Anko?" He asked. He'd long learned to not start with telling upset people to calm down. Calm and gentle questions worked much better.

"My snakes just told me that Orochimaru, the fucker, he's...a she! Like...what? Why? How does that even happen?" She said.

He winced. Even if she hated him, finding out your father figure for years had suddenly switched genders could be jarring and her feelings on the pale sannin were tumultuous on the best of days.

"We had heard that. We are having a meeting about that-"

"No! You don't get it!" Anko pressed. "He's different enough the snakes made him RE-SIGN THE CONTRACT!"

Hiruzen really wasn't sure what to do with that information. Kakashi had seen Orochimaru use snakes on the mission, so they had it still active. Summoning contracts were tied to the soul, and if summons were making him resign when he had a functioning connection- well, he wasn't sure what that meant exactly.

He looked to Jiraiya to see if he knew, only to find an equally baffled expression on his face. Meanwhile Kakashi was just leaning back in his chair reading.

"Yeah. Welcome to my time in Wave." He said dismissively before flipping a page.

"This is not the same." Jiraiya objected.

"Yeah. Now I'm not also terrified for my life." Kakashi said mildly.

Hiruzen considered that for a moment before coming to the conclusion that the Copy Ninja would get some mandatory vacation time for the next week. Even if the mission happened more than a month ago. He probably still needed it.

Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Chapter Text

I checked the heart monitor again. The pulse was still steady and the rest of the readable vitals were the same as when I'd last checked them. Everything remained frustratingly the same.

That is to say, on a slow and steady decline.

"The last batch of tests has had no observable effect." Kabuto stated. I assume it was for Kimimaro's benefit since I was staring at the test results.

"I am unafraid." The bone user said as he looked at me with complete faith. Faith was the correct word too, because I was certain it wasn't a statement to show he knew I'd fix him. He was saying he didn't mind dying.

"But you will be very bored," I stated firmly, "because you have reached the point that you aren't to leave this bed. When you do your health drops notably and will make my work even harder."

Phrasing it as him making things more difficult for me had the desired effect. If it was just for his own health he'd walk around whenever he liked, but stating it made things harder for me would ensure he remained here for as long as I asked him to.

"Yes, Orochitama-sama." He stated stiffly.

I give a jerk of my head to Kabuto and the two of us exit the room. The door closes behind us and my shoulder droops and I run a hand down my face.

"Orochitama-sama." Kabuto spoke up, brows furrowed. "Why haven't you gone to retrieve Tsunade? We located her a week ago on the day you gave the speech. It's clear that this is important to you, why have you not gone to speak with her?"

I contemplated the loaded question for a moment.

"The primary one? I don't want her to link me to Sound yet and moving him to her will be an extensive process." I stated simply.

"I...see." The man said with hesitation.

He didn't believe me. At least not completely. While moving Kimimaro would be a small ordeal while making sure his condition didn't worsen, it was far from impossible. I just didn't really want to unpack all my emotional baggage at the moment.

Those demons were doing just fine in their sealed bottles at the moment.

"I have to go meet the leaders of Hidden Grass and Hidden Waterfall in disguise tomorrow anyways, and I need to go to Hidden Sand and meet the Kazekage before that."

"Oh?" Kabuto asked, surprised. "I wasn't aware you'd scheduled an appointment with him."

"I haven't." I replied before turning towards the leader of the Drama department walking towards us. "Watanabe-kun! How goes preparations?"

"Things are going well!" The man responded with a wide grin on his chiseled features. In another world Watanabe would have done well as a movie star. He was classically handsome, tall, and had an astounding ability to mimic people's mannerisms and inflection. In this life he mostly used these attributes to get close to someone and kill them, though I was working on that. "I've been working with one of the scientists on these 'Stormtrooper' outfits. Amazing name for them by the way, very menacing."

"Oh I can't take the credit." I said with a wave of my hand, as I did for any compliment on 'my' writings. I didn't come up with them, but I badly wanted to bring some of my favorite bits of fiction to this world. The original Star Wars trilogy was something special and I wanted to bring it to life here.

"We managed to get make a lightsaber good enough for the purposes of a the play, though from what I've heard there are a bunch of Sound scientists trying to make one that's actually function." He followed up.

I gave a small laugh. Some things never change.

"Excellent. Do you think everyone will be ready in time for us to do an in house show the day before we leave?" I asked. I wanted everyone in Sound to be able to see the show before the wider world managed to.

"We might have a few slip ups but I think we can manage it in the month's time that we have." Watanabe stated with a nod. "Though my husband is going to be complaining about the longer hours to be ready in time."

"Your efforts are appreciated." I said. "And my appreciation takes the form of extra time off and more money."

"Oh, my second and third favorite form of appreciation." The man said with a smile. "I'll have it done in time."

With a word of farewell and a bow Watanabe left and I began to head towards my office, Kabuto following behind.

"So, Orochitama-sama, why the play?" Kabuto spoke up.

"Hm?"

"You are putting a lot of resources and effort into this drama and I was wondering what purpose it servers. A simple circus act would have served your efforts just as well, would it not?"

"A circus would wow them and distract them just as well, yes." I acknowledge as I think on how to phrase the next part. "However, a story sticks with a person. Years later people will struggle to remember more than an act or two of a circus show, but they will remember a good story for their entire lives. Stories are how the mind remembers."

"And what in the story do wish for them to remember, Orochitama-sama?" Kabuto asked.

I gave a small smirk as I opened the door to my office and walked in. Kabuto was very good at asking questions. Possibly too good, as some of my reasons were a bit too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing with the spy.

"People will remember the message of the story and it's themes, and it will attach those themes to Sound."

"And what themes are in the story that you are trying to communicate?"

I reached to my desk and pulled out the script for the play and handed it over to the Medic Ninja.

"Read it for yourself, then you tell me." I stated.

Kabuto glanced from the script to me a few times before grabbing it.

"In the meantime I'm going to go break into the Kazekage's office for an unplanned meeting." I said simply as I pulled out some lipstick and applied it as I gave my appearance a once over to make sure I was presentable.

"Wait, you're going to what?" Kabuto asked, gaze snapping to me.

"Toodles!" I replied before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

xxxxx

Rasa was intimately familiar with every inch of the Kage Tower of Sunagakure no Sato. He regularly searched the place for traps and seals that might have been placed by enemy villages or his own rivals in the village. His own office in particular was so watched and searched that several jounin had pronounced it so secure as to be impossible to infiltrate covertly. It was the location that Rasa slept most nights, seeing as home was- well-

He felt more comfortable sleeping in his office.

So it was quite surprising to Rasa when he was awoken at two o'clock in the morning by a feminine voice.

"Ara ara. Laying on your desk like that is no good, Yondamine Kazekage-kun."

Rasa stood upright suddenly, knocking his chair over and gathering golden dust around him to fend off an oncoming attack as his mind went to process what was happening.

No attack came and his mind took a moment to process the other occupant of the room. A pale woman with long black hair garbed in white sundress that was decorated with images of cactuses, the woman's purple lips were stretched into a teasing grin and here silted held amusement and no fear.

He went to send a wave of gold dust at the intruder when she spoke up.

"So sorry to wake you, but I needed to meet with you alone." She stated as she produced a bottle of Wind Country tequila and placed it on his desk. "Please, accept my apologies."

It was not the words that made him pause, but the appearance. The woman looked very much like Orochimaru. Startlingly so. In fact, his initial guess was that she was the snake sannin's younger sister or possibly his daughter, but such a person should be well known in the world by now. Plus, the intruder managed to get into his office without raising any alarm, which would require an in-depth knowledge of several fuinjutsu schools of thought. The woman's chakra was well contained too; he couldn't even tell that she was there at all with his chakra senses.

She was skilled, she looked like Orochimaru. She was dangerous enough that taking a while to talk would be advantageous. One need not seek out fights that could kill you after all.

"And what is it that bring you to me in the middle of the night that can't possibly be done in the day?" Rasa asked, ignoring the bottle on the desk. Not accepting food and drink from strangers was academy student stuff after all.

"Oh, I just wanted you to pretend like you're going to team up with a small village and attack Konoha during the upcoming Chunnin exams." The woman stated as she popped the top off the tequila. "You got some glasses for this?"

"You want me to attack Konoha, our strongest allies?" He asked incredulously.

"Pretend. Pretend to attack." She stated with all the grace of a woman clarifying what day her niece's ballet recital was. "And do not pretend there is any love lost between you and Konoha. You're actually pretty pissed at them right now because of the jobs the Wind Daimyo is sending them lately."

Rasa stared at the woman hard, weighing his options.

On one hand, getting into a war right now did not favor Sand. They were at one of the weakest states they had ever been. They hadn't managed to produce any true geniuses in almost ten years. Ten years was a long time for a hidden village to not have someone rise to upper classes of ninja. Besides himself there was no one in the village that could hold the title of Kage. Wars between hidden villages tended to be decided by the people that could make names of themselves and everyone knew that. It was the reason people weren't sending jobs their way.

They needed new blood to make names for themselves, and all he really had for that was a psychopathic weapon that could barely be pointed in the right direction.

Which brought the other hand. Things like this was exactly how young blood made names for themselves and brought the attention needed. To accept something like this would be a gamble.

"So are you going to have me drink from the bottle? A tad un-ladylike don't you think?"

Rasa weighed the risks in his head. He didn't like the odds, but just letting things stay the way they were now wouldn't be good for the village. Someone, probably Iwa, would take them out if things remained the same for another decade.

"What would you offer in exchange for this?" Rasa asked.

"Fuinjutsu work to let your darling son actually go the fuck to sleep while not sacrificing any potential power he might bring to the table." The woman stated idly and Rasa's breath caught in his throat.

Rasa's gold surged forward and encased the woman in a coffin on metallic sand, leaving only the woman's face showing. A face that looked supremely unimpressed.

"You think we would allow you to touch our jinchuriki?" Rasa growled.

"The fact you didn't go with 'my son' is very telling." The woman responded and he contemplated finishing it right there, but she continued speaking. "But yes. The seal work by Sand to contain its tailed beast is atrocious. Always has been. You did not get the Uzumaki sealing methods given to all the other villages by the First Hokage because you already had your own tailed beast and you've felt the effects since. Your understanding of how to seal one is greatly behind everyone else. You need this."

Rasa kept his own poker face but inside his emotion stormed. A more stable Gaara would be the answer to his prayers. Gaara had genius to go with his supreme talent. Gaara already casually killed lower powered jounin. He was exactly what the village needed. Being able to sleep would likely not fix all of the jinchuriki's problems, but it would doubtlessly help.

"If it makes you feel better too, I won't even be altering the original seal. I'm going to be placing another one on top of it that can be dialed up and down to allow Shukaku more or less communication with Gaara as needed." The woman continued.

In a few more heartbeats the gold pulled away from the woman and he reached into his desk and pulled out a shot glass and slid it across the desk.

"What is it that you want Suna to do, exactly?" He asked as he poured the tequila into the glass for the woman, then produced his own bottle of tequila and shot glass from his desk to pour his own.

The woman smiled and downed the shot before speaking. "Nothing much. You just amass your troops a kilometer or two outside of Konoha's walls. Don't let the bottom rank people know exactly what's happening except for a few that will think you are meant to attack during the tournament part of the chunnin exams. I don't plan to attack, but I want all the other hidden villages to think I'm going to."

That was very little risk for them. Having a large troop movement near them during the exams could even be waved away. A small amount of rumor among the troops couldn't even really be blamed on them. If something actually happened it would be bad for them. They could be expected to make reparations even if they didn't actually commit to the attack but...

A more controlled jinchuriki would be worth whatever reparations they had to make.

"I would expect the sealing to be done before we take part in this." Rasa stated.

"Oh sure. I mean, it's actually done right about now." The woman said simply before taking another drink.

Rasa stopped dead.

"What do you mean?" The man growled.

"Oh this is just a Shadow Clone. The real me is applying the seal." She said before taking another drink.

The impudence!

"So sure were you that I'd accept?" He growled.

"Oh not at all." The woman said with a shake of head and a wave of her hand. "It would be very simple for me to remove my seal after all. If you didn't agree it would just have been removed."

The threat was clear. She could sneak in and get to both him and Gaara at her leisure and she could remove the seal. If he did not hold up his end of the deal she would remove her payment as well.

"Very well. We'll work with you, but you will not act without my say so like this again." He growled.

"Wonderful! So glad we could come to an agreement Rasa-san." She stated happily as she clapped her hands together.

Rasa felt he might have just made a deal with the devil, but the reward could not be denied. The power play was distasteful but held a message that she needed to be respected, which was played well enough that he was willing to give that respect, but he would make sure she didn't get too big of a head about it.

"What is your name?" He finally asked, never having received it before.

"Orochitama." The woman said, giving a wink. "Charmed."

"Orochitama, leave Sunagakure before I raise the alert and have the entire village hunt you down." He stated simply. Doing so wouldn't work, but it would be annoying for even someone of her stature.

"I'll get out of your hair then. Ta!" She stated before she disappeared, a glob of tequila falling to the chair as the clone turned to smoke. Rasa heaved a sigh and began to check for his guards when one burst into the room.

"Kazekage-sama! Are you alright!? Someone knocked-" The guard faltered and looked away.

"What is it? Speak." He ordered.

"You uh...you might want to check a mirror. If you need, um, private time with a woman in the future you can just ask without knocking us out."

What?

Rasa pulled a mirror out of his desk and looked at his image. He had three lip marks made of lipstick. One on his cheek, one on his forehead, and one on his neck.

A chill went down his spine.

He likely didn't have a choice but to follow this woman. She could have killed him three times over.

xxxxxx

Gaara looked so small. The manga had always chosen angles to make him look so imposing, but in person, as an adult, he looked so small and fragile and alone as he stared up at the moon on the roof top.

He also reeked of killing intent as well, but that was easy for me to ignore.

"Nice night, isn't it Gaara? Shukaku?" I asked.

A small tsunami of sand came in response.

The response was expected, but disappointing. The mud clone I'd sent was quickly crushed and the people of Sand hid away as they were certain the demon among them claimed someone else.

"Tsk tsk! Hagoromo would be disappointed in what you've done to this boy Shukaku." I said as I stepped around the corner. The sand around Gaara all vibrated as if electrocuted and Gaara clutched at his head.

"Mother." The boy gasped, "My mother demands to know where you heard that name." The boy said, almost confused.

"I read it in a book." I responded blithely before continuing. "There is a group looking to grab your tanuki and his eight siblings and combine them back into the Ten Tails once more. They already have the body from the moon."

Gaara's face grew even more pained and confused as he dropped to his knees.

I was throwing a lot of truth bombs at Skukaku here, but I needed Shukaku to speak about more than wanting blood to Gaara. This was the only thing I could imagine getting him to do that.

"I'm sorry Mother." The boy's small voice cracked. "I'll give you her blood. That will help you."

I rolled my eyes and casually used a wind ninjutsu to blow apart the sand coming towards me.

"Rude. Gaara, death is not always the answer and if you listen to your 'mother' you'll know they don't want me dead until after I answer questions."

"W-what?" Gaara asked as he again clutched his head and let out a growling sound of pain.

This wasn't going anywhere and it felt almost mean to have Gaara in pain while I make the point.

Thankfully, I came with a seal that would help with this and from everything I knew about how a jinchuriki is made I was reasonably sure I knew where his seal was. Plus the ninja of sound had recently made something that would disable him fairly easily.

Three kunai with seals landed in equilateral distance from Gaara. Then there was a dull vibrating sound that shook the house we stood on and the sand around Gaara vibrated apart. Gaara himself looked to be moments from passing out. I dashed in, lifted his shirt, and then placed the seal on top of his existing one.

The vibrations cut off and I gently lowered the redhead to the ground. That was a bit noisy and I'd have people coming to check out what just happened soon.

Best to make this quick.

"Sukaku. Be nicer. The reincarnation of Asura and Indra are to have their big fight soon and if the Tailed Beasts and humans can't learn to get along Kaguya is going to manage to come back, and no one wants that. You're ageless. Just put up with it for a few more decades and you'll move on to someone else where the fate of the planet isn't as on the line."

"You- huh?" Gaara asked, looking at me in confusion before slipping into unconsciousness.

I gently picked the boy up, wiping some flecks of sand off him, and then turned to go inside. In moments I had the boy placed in his own bed and tucked in. Then I left a purple lipstick mark on his forehead. Just to make sure my point was driven home.

I was going to apply this seal no matter what, though the conversation with him and Shukaku was not nearly as productive as I wanted it to be. Or at all.

I'd just have to come by some other time. Maybe when he had some sleep.

Or...

A smile tugged at my lips.

Maybe he'd like to see a play while traveling?

Chapter 25: Chapter 25

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Momochi Zabuza hadn't expected himself to think deeply about teamwork again. He'd pretty much pissed off everyone back home and the life of a missing nin rarely allowed for someone to build up enough trust with someone to have anything resembling proper teamwork. Yet here he was, watching a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears gennin train and having to contemplate the best way to structure them for the upcoming exams.
"The brats giving you that much trouble?" A voice called behind him and he resisted the immediate impulse to react with danger. He had recognized the voice and knew he was most likely not in danger. Instead he kept his eyes steady on Suigetsu swinging around a sword that didn't suit him.

"Guren. Don't you have your own brats to be worried about?" Zabuza shot back.

The woman simply strode up to the rail next to him, looking down on the training area too. The woman was cool, calculated, fanatically loyal to Orochitama, and had a kindness in her heart that she hid with crystal razors.

She honestly reminded him of Haku in many ways.

"I've been given mandatory time off recently. Having an undying nanny that can't ever sleep helping out seems to have greatly reduced my work load." Guren stated lightly while staring down at the assembled gennin. "I'm supposed to be using the time to get to know these pains-in-the-ass for the upcoming mission."

Zabuza grunted in reply. He might pick a room of toddlers over the disasters that were meant to beat the best and brightest gennin of the all the major villages. Outside of Haku, they were taking a lot to pass anything resembling champion material.

"So, which ones are gonna be mine?" Guren asked mildly.

"Still deciding on that." He took a moment to consider if he should discuss this with her before continuing. Having someone to bounce his thoughts off of would help him. She'd need to know the personalities and tactics of the group for the upcoming exam anyways. "I can't go with initial plan of the team arrangements. Not if we want to be sure they'll win."

Guren placed her chin in one hand and watched the gennin preforming their assigned exercises. "Personalty reasons or power reasons?" She asked.

"Both." Came the blunt response. "Kin doesn't have much power to her. She's worked on some new fancy tricks, but she doesn't have anything to really make her stick out. Meanwhile Zaku. Well-"

Zabuza trailed off as said gennin once again tried to follow Orochitama's suggestion of what to do to better control his powers and once again he failed as he shot air directly down. Rather than slowly lift himself, he instead went flying backwards in an uncontrolled tumble before smacking into the ground.

"He's an idiot." Guren concluded.

"A mean spirited one." Zabuza stated. "He has power, but little talent, and he knows it. He goes around bullying anyone he thinks he can get away with bullying. Which is why he can't be on a team with Jugo." Zabuza stated before nodding to where the orange haired boy was timidly pulling back a fist to punch a rock before chickening out at the last moment and lowering his fist.

"Wow. What a wimp." Guren stated snidely.

"He's possibly the strongest one down there." Zabuza shot back coldly. "His power has him take in a mind-altering energy that puts him on a level similar to a jinchuriki, but he can't control himself in his altered state. The eggheads gave him a seal to siphon some of that energy off, but they're still calibrating. He's not afraid for himself. He's afraid for others."

"Alright, alright!" Guren raised her hands in surrender. "Back off Papa Bear. I'm sure he's very scary."

The words brought Zabuza up short. He had snapped at her. Fuck. He was getting attached to shit-heads.

"Jugo and Zaku can't be on the same team. If they are, Jugo will probably kill him if he loses it. Zaku likes to pick on Jugo because he takes his timid nature as a sign to attack."

"Any others that can't be together then?" Guren asked, glancing down and watching as Kin stood in the corner conjuring a thick fog of mist around herself. "Oh, isn't that one of your tricks?"

Zabuza glanced over at the mist and gave a snort. "Not really. Most Mist ninja know it and a lot of other villages have picked it up too. But it compliments her. It's also useless around Zaku, cause he blow the mist away every time he fires."

"So Jugo and Kin are in one team. Seems straight forward. Just figure out their third and you'll be gold." Guren said with a snort. "This isn't that hard."

"Say that after having to look after them the entire time you're away." Zabuza said dismissively. "Plus you'll have to put up with the other Jounin teachers."

"It can't possibly be worse than dealing with toddlers all day. Who even is the other team-"

"Hello, Brutish Man and Supreme Babysitter. I understand I am meant to work with you today." A voice so far up it's own ass that he could almost hear the echo sounded towards them.

Zabuza turned to see one of the most loathsome people he had ever had the displeasure of meeting walk up to them. The man shamelessly alternated between staring at Guren's legs and chest.

"Tatewaki." Guren growled and manifested a crystal dagger. "I'm meant to work with you on this assignment?"

Shock crossed Tatewaki's face and he held a hand to his chest. "Why so angry? I don't think I've done anything to elicit that sort of response form you. I've never been anything but complimentary to you."

Zabuza stared at the man in concentration. Tatewaki's breathing, eye-movement, and stance all spoke of someone who wasn't lying and was actually a little hurt about the accusation leveled against him. The man either genuinely thought everything he did wasn't insulting or he was a damn good liar. Zabuza kept hoping that it was that he was liar, if only it meant that Tatewaki as he knew him wouldn't exist then.

"You grabbed my ass while I was on my way to the medic and then commented that I had started slacking on my squats!" Guren growled looked moments from throwing sharp crystal things at the man.

Zabuza was contemplating letting her.

"And you stabbed me in the arm for it. Which I don't hold against you. Besides, I was just pointing out what I saw. Keeping up on your exercises is important for front line fighters like yourself." The man said simply, as if that explained everything.

Zabuza decided he had enough being near these two. At least as close as he was. This was the sort of interaction one enjoyed from a distance.

"Guren. You're team is Jugo, Kin, and Dosu. Tatewaki, your team is Suigetsu, Zaku, and Haku." He stated finally and for once sure of his decision. Maybe Haku being on the team would make sure they didn't get killed.

Plus now he could probably get a betting pool going on how long it would take Tatewaki before he realized that Haku was, in fact, male. Though he hadn't seen the man seriously try to flirt with Haku, despite them interacting. The closest that came was the man mentioning that Haku would be a beauty once older.

Plus Zaku and Suigetsu would absolutely hate the man and might actually form a bond over mutual hatred. It worked in Mist, it might work here. And if it goes wrong then the one to die would probably be Tatewaki. A win all around in Zabuza's book really.

"Ah. So it is set. Well would you care to join me in my room for some close planning for-" Tatewaki began.

"Sweet fuck, would you give up!?" Guren yelled and stomped off.

Zabuza found he wasn't sure if he was happy or sad to miss how this was going to turn out in Konoha. In just a few days they'd be gone. Much of Sound already was, leaving to go set things up. The exams were only a few days away after all.

xxxxxx

Sasuke stared. The ball of fuzz stared back with wide dark eyes. What did it want? Was this a staring contest? Well he wouldn't be the first to look away, especially not to his own summons. The sound of a tail rapidly hitting ground began to pick up. A sign of weakness or-

"Sasuke. It's a puppy." His teacher said leadingly.

He didn't respond and stayed staring.

"You're staring at basically a baby Sasuke. Stop it." Kakashi spoke again.

Sasuke blinked and looked away suddenly embarrassed. Acting challenging against a young version of his summons was a tad silly wasn't it. It's not like-

The dog gave a chuffing sound. Did that thing just shoot him an arrogant smirk? That little-

"So! This is your personal summon. As you show being able to raise him the Ninken will allow you to summon more of them. He's smarter than your average dog and can already basically understand everything you say, but he's probably not going to be able to talk." Kakashi listed off.

"But it's a puppy. It can't do anything." Sasuke snapped back. Getting a summons was supposed to be something more impressive than this.

"It knows some tracking already, but yeah, it can't do much now because it's young. But he'll grow. He'll get stronger. As you work with him and invest in him, he'll invest back into you and be stronger for it. That's how it works Sasuke, things grow."

He stared back down at the ninken, the black and brown ball of fluff started wagging his tail in response. An investment. He could understand that. Training was never mastered in a day. It took a while to learn, then a bit more to incorporate it into the rest of your style. This would be the same.

"Heh. Sasuke has to spend time training a puppy. Ha!" Naruto piped up and gave into some truly obnoxious laughter. The blond had taken up his usual place at their meeting location. Sitting on the railing of the the bridge over the narrow river. "That little thing won't be able to hurt a fly!"

The ninken locked eyes with the blond and began to run towards him, shooting past Sakura, who looked to be bouncing in place and staring at the dog with one hand grasping the wrist of the other, like she was restraining herself from something. It was shocking actually. Usually she'd have yelled at Naruto by now.

"See! He likes me better too!" Naruto said before leaning back and hanging upside down from the railings, his legs keeping him in place so he could reach out to the approaching dog.

"Naruto, I wouldn't do that." Kakashi stated, nose buried in his book.

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

Then the dog made contact with the hand.

"Ah! Ow! Stop it! That hurts ya mutt!" Naruto began to yell as the thirty centimeter animal began to tear apart the fully trained gennin.

"It is still a ninja dog." Kakashi stated simply, not looking up.

Maybe the dog did have it's merits.

"Now you just need to name it." Kakashi.

"Me?" Sasuke asked in surprise.

"Yeah. It's your summon that you're training. You name it. It's tradition. Plus otherwise they just get names like Fang or Woof."

Oh. Names were a big deal. Living up to a name was significant. Sasuke himself was named after one of the most feared ninja to ever live. Names had a certain amount of power to them. He found himself drawing a blank though. Nothing coming to his mind seemed right.

What would his father name him? The dog would probably have been trained for police work and...Sasuke too would be using it to obtain justice.

"Masayoshi." Sasuke stated confidently, and the puppy turned to look at him, letting go of the Moron's hand, which caused the blond to fall onto his head. Sasuke scoffed and rolled his eyes before again turning to his summons. "Your name is Masayoshi."

The puppy stared at him for a moment before giving a yip and a nod of his head before puffing away into smoke, chakra briefly going through the seal on his arm.

When the ninken disappeared he heard Sakura let out a disappointed sound. He wasn't sure what was up with that, but couldn't really bring himself to care much.

"Now that's out of the way, no other training today. Oh, and fill out these forms and show up at the Academy at the listed time to join the chunin exams." Kakashi said, holding out the papers.

Naruto was up in a flash and snatching one of the papers. "Chumin exams?"

"Chunin exams!" Sasuke corrected with exasperation as he took his own.

"Oh. Like the vest guys. Yeah, I'm gonna totally ace this!"

Sakura came up and began to hesitantly take a slip herself.

"You can all enter individually, so no pressure Sakura. You should all think deeply about this before you go. You absolutely can die in this exam." Kakashi stated seriously. He even put his book down for a moment.

It really was dangerous, and Sakura caught on. Reaching back and clutching at her shoulder. He was certain there was a scar there, but in the hospital the girl had staunchly refused to let him see the wound. The first time she'd said no to anything he'd asked. She had acted fast and got a blade wound rather than the more debilitating burn wound, he could imagine she'd be hesitant to jump into something like that again so soon after recovery.

"On that note, be careful walking around too. You could run into ninja from other villages here to participate in the exams, so watch what you say and try not to be too flashy with your abilities." Kakashi warned, "Also make sure to-"

Whatever Kakashi was going to say was cut off by a loud gong. It wasn't a warning system in Konoha, and the sound was loud and echoed around.

"What was that?" Naruto asked cocking his head to the side.

The gonging sound came again, though this time he could hear the edges of something else with it. Was that...music?

It was music, but he'd never heard the instruments being used before. Whatever it was loud, boisterous and coming from outside the gates of the village. He exchanged glances with Naruto before turning and darting away towards the wall. Sakura following a moment after. Sasuke ran up the side of the walls and in moments he crested the top and stared dumbfounded.

"Is that what I think it is?" Sakura asked, incredulous.

A caravan of wagons had pulled to the side of the road only a few hundred meters outside of the city's western gate. The construction of a massive red tent was going up and he could already spot a few stands with what looked like games and food coming together. A massive band of people using instruments of gleaming brass was the source of the noise.

Naruto meanwhile gasped in delight, "Is that a circus!? Lets go!"

"Hold on there kids." Kakashi spoke up, staring at a bird in the sky. "Why don't we plan to go some other time soon, after they're set up, hm? We can go together."

Sasuke nodded in understanding. A circus showing up right at the time of the exam? It was suspicious. Bold, but suspicious. Enemies didn't have to be subtle to do you harm, and this could be some sort of trap.

"Or! Or we could go now AND later!" Naruto said excitedly.

"Don't be dumb Naruto!" Sakura scolded. "This could be a trap or something. Even if it is a normal circus ninja could sneak in. We shouldn't be going in alone."

"Ninja setting up right in front of a village and playing a big band to announce being there?" Naruto asked, though Sasuke could see the wheels turning in his head. Big rusty and clunky wheels.

"Well-" Sakura said, backing off a bit.

"Oh, that makes sense. This sounds like something Orochi-lady would do to be sneaky." Naruto stated with a nod of his head.

Sasuke blinked as he saw Kakashi stiffen.

"I don't think this is Orochitama." Sakura said slowly. "Why would she even be here?"

"Oh, I didn't say she was here. Just this sounded like one of her plans. It'd be really cool if it was her though." Naruto said, putting his arms behind his head.

"Right. There wouldn't be much reason to be here. Most things that happen on missions won't involve someone from a previous mission."

That vaguely sounded like Kakashi was trying to tell himself that more than them. What did that woman do to their teacher?

Kakashi just kept staring at the tent for a bit, ignoring Naruto as he droned on about some plan to beat every single carnival game and being crowned Kage of the Carnival before Kakashi's gaze slowly started to turn towards the Chunin Exam pages he had just given them, then moved back to the tent, then back to the papers. Saskue slowly began to put the paper behind him then Kakashi very suddenly turned and walking away.

"Read the paperwork, fill it out. Don't pressure each other to participate. Gotta go bye!" And suddenly Kakashi was gone.

"Hey Sasuke, ya think your new Ninja Dog can help us cheat- uh no, I mean apply ninja tactics to carnival games?" Naruto asked.

"They're building a stage." Sakura commented curiously.

"Yeah, so?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, come on Naruto." Sakura stated with an eyeroll. Sasuke stared at her in confusion. Sakura looked confused back at him before seeming to realize something and growing sheepish. "Oh. Um a circus doesn't usually have a stage. That's more a thing for plays. They usually want it open and just build up for acrobatic stuff."

Sasuke frowned as well. A stage would be the prime place to hide something with constant watch too.

"A play? That would be cool. So long as it's not a boring one where everyone dies and is sad at the end." Naruto stated before nodding to himself. "I bet it's about super cool ninja heroes."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto thought everything should be about "super cool ninja heroes". Still...if this circus was something bad, it couldn't be too bad if all the ninja, including the Hokage, were watching it, right?
xxxxxxx

Notes:

And it has begun! No Tama this chapter though, but she'll be the main view next chapter!

If you're enjoying, feel free to join my Discord! I love being able to talk to the fans and hearing people talk about my fic gives me motivation to write!

Also, someone has made some nice fanart for the character! You can find it on the Spacebattles Forum version of this chapter.

Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Chapter Text

Jirobo thought that the current plan was absolutely brilliant. Best mission he'd ever managed to get on in his entire life. They didn't have to be sneaky, they didn't have to risk their lives, they were being paid, and most of all the perks.

"I'm sorry. It's what?" The Konoha ninja asked.

"Fun Nel Cake." He stated as he dusted the golden flakey crust with some powdered sugar like the first pure snow on a grateful land. The aroma made his mouth water and he was already eyeing the portion he had already made for himself off to the side. It called to him.

"I've never heard of it before." The Konoha ninja stated simply.

"It's new. A Sound Village invention." One of several that the brilliant mind of Orochitama came up with. He had his doubts about everything since the whole...boobs stuff. Even when the plan was being explained to him it didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense. In fact, he was still not totally sure of what was happening beyond the parts he was in charge of, but he was certain that it was a really great plan. "We're still setting up, so we don't have everything ready yet. But I know the shaved ice stand and the cotton candy stand are up."

"Cotton what?" The man asked in confusion as he was handed his steaming paper plate of delicacies.

"Cotton candy. Sugar and some other stuff spun into fine string and wrapped so lightly together that it puffs like cotton." Jirobo stated almost dreamily.

The ninja looked at his food in uncertainty and didn't immediately eat it. The food would be greatly cooled and less delicious in a few minutes. Still good, but not as good.

"So why are ninjas selling..." he shot a side eye at the confection, "cake in front of another village?"

"This is Sound's unveiling and we want to get off on the right foot." Jirobo stated from memory. It even sounded mostly like his own words, though he was told it didn't really matter if he sounded honest when he said it, he was in charge of all the food stands and would get a cut of all the profits. Profits that he could turn into more food.

"Uh-huh." The ninja said uncertainly. Jirobo rolled his eyes.

"Get going and test it for poisons and stuff. Make sure at least someone eats it after it's tested." The man stated before taking a bite of his own food.

Jirobo was one of the only people that could be a cook like this. To make the ninja feel at ease in serving them food several measures had been put in place. They made sure the ninja could watch the whole cooking process, but the main thing was that he would regularly take a small portion of the food and eat it himself to show there was no poison in what he was serving. Most other ninja's couldn't keep up with eating that much.

The ninja would likely still test it for poisons anyways, but now they at least considered buying the stuff.

The man looked at him oddly for a moment before turning around to leave. As the Konoha ninja was walking through the crowd of bustling workers Jirobo started to turn away to check that the oil wasn't burning when he felt a sudden flash of violent intent and he whirled around and caught sight of the Konoha ninja holding one of the carnival workers by the wrist, a blade placed against the ninja's throat.

Jirobo let out a snort of laughter. Looked to be the first one caught.

"What do you think you were doing?" The Konoha man hissed.

"This! Just putting this in your pocket!" The Sound nin gave a panicked reply. Jirobo leaned forward and rested his chin on his fist and wondered. This was one aspect of the plan that he thought wouldn't go over well, but Orochitama insisted it was a vital part of the plan.

The Konoha ninja glanced at the small paper voucher in the man man's hand, which he began to read aloud.

"Not very observant? Get more practice by coming back at twenty-five percent off entrance." The ninja read slowly, voice growing more incredulous as he went.

"Yeah. It's part of the attraction. But because you caught me you get this too." The man said frantically before flicking his wrist and bringing out a small plastic coin. "It's for a free Cotton Candy. Since you caught me." The man stated nervously. "It's just part of the attraction, so-"

Jirobo heard a bird call in the distance that he was pretty sure didn't come from a bird and the Konoha ninja removed his kunai from them man's throat and snatched both the coin and paper away from him. Eyes narrowing at it.

"Fine. Get out of here." The Konoha ninja stated before turning and marching away with purpose. Probably to make people think he left but then actually poke around some more.

"Well that went better than I expected it to." Kidomaru's voice suddenly came from behind him, making a smile begin to grace his face.

"I was expecting a bit more of a fight, but I guess I can't blame the Konoha ninja. He's surrounded on all sides by enemies. It wouldn't have ended well for him." Jirobo stated as he turned the heat on the oil down, now that there wasn't a customer around. They were just beginning and customers would be rare now. No sense on burning the oil.

"He had back up in the trees just outside our perimeter. Pretty sure a couple of them are Hyuuga keeping an eye on things." Kidomaru stated simply.

Jirobo gave a nod of acknowledgement. "He'd still be dead before they could save him."

Kidomaru gave a hum of acknowledgement and idly scratched at the stump of his lower arm.

"It still itches?" Jirobo asked mildly, trying not to hurt his comrade's feelings. The man had been sensitive about the injury for a while. At first it looked like they might be able to save the arm, but something about how it was torn off, rather than cut, made it where they couldn't save the appendage.

He was just glad Kidomaru had three more arms to compensate.

"Yeah. But I can ignore it by staying busy. It only itches when I think about it."

"You two done sitting with your thumbs up your damn ass? There's fucking work to be done." A familiar voice called.

"A lady shouldn't talk like that Tayuya." Jirobo stated disapprovingly. "Especially in front of customers."

"Tch." She scoffed dismissively. "I'm stuck trying to wrangle the group of howling monkeys that is our fucking band until Supreme Chuckle Fuck manages to show up with his fucking brats for the exam. You can deal with my fucking language if I have to put up with that."

Kidomaru rolled his eyes. "I'm in charge of the people that are supposed to reverse pickpocket a carnival of ninjas while also having them juggle and prep them for a few low key performances. You don't see me being all cranky."

Jirobo didn't have much to say to that. He was actually quite fond of his job and the only problems he had was getting people to understand that figuring out ways to add poison to the food without anyone noticing was not part of the job description. However, he did finally have an answer for their arguing now.

"Stop it. You don't want Orochitama-sama to scold you when she shows up." Jirobo stated.

The two immediately turned away from one another. Previously, their boss didn't care about any squabbles they got into, as long as the job was done. Now, she payed attention to how things were done. She would even scold them for arguing. Like she would actually scold them too. Not torture them. Not threaten their lives. Not make nebulous violent statements. Just talk about proper behavior and disappointment.

It was terrifying.

"Fine. I gotta teach these guys how to muffle their presence more anyways." Kidomaru stated before turning to march off. "Make sure your musicians are ready for opening day."

"Get your fucking wanna be street urchins in shape!" She yelled back at his retreating form. "I got Fren Chu Horns to have learn their fucking ques."

Jirobo nodded his head in satisfaction. Now he just had to man the stand in case more ninja decided to poke their heads-

Oh! A Suna nin.

"Hey! Come try our Fun Nel Cake! It's delicious!" He called out waving at another spy trying to figure them out. Hopefully there would be real customers in a few hours.

xxxxx

"The Elder will see you now." The secretary stated to me. She was a nice girl. Dutiful and polite and even looked a little guilty about making me sit in a lobby for two hours just to satisfy a power play from the leader of the Hidden Waterfall village. It was a bit annoying, but I have had worse. I could have just gotten in there and they couldn't have stopped me, but I felt that I needed more carrot than stick with this play. Even if that meant going through official channels and wearing a veil and long robes to have an attempt at people not connecting Orochimaru to Sound quite yet.

At least the people other than the Waterfall village's elder. That was going to be pretty impossible after the meeting.

The Elder's building was a rather understated place. It was only two stories tall and due to some prior snooping, I also knew that half the place was actually where the Elder lived. He lived and held his meetings all in one location. It said a lot about how the village operated that the elder didn't even get his own building. The smaller villages were at a disadvantage in many ways.

Which was rather the point of the meeting.

I walked into the meeting room. A desk with two wooden chairs sat in front of it took up most of the small room. There were a few shelves on the walls that had row upon row of meticulously organized scrolls. In most of the Elemental Nations, the meeting would be accompanied by tea. However, ninja meeting tended to not do that. Even if the person you were meeting didn't want you dead, a third party could often barely resist the temptation to poison someone and start a war between two other factions that they could then bend said war to their benefit.

Ninja kind of sucked.

"Elder Saito. It's a pleasure to meet you." I said giving a bow as the door behind me was closed. "We've been exchanging correspondence for a while, so it is nice to meet you in person."

The man sitting at the desk inclined his head in acknowledgement. He was in his mid sixties, and it showed. While not by any means decrepit, his hair and beard had turned a solid grey and his face had wrinkles on his forehead and next to his eyes. Though he had enough youth in him that his frame was muscular and strong.

"And you are this Treble from Otogakure that I've been writing to." The man said suspiciously. "It doesn't bode well that we are beginning this meeting with you disguising your face. You give an obviously fake name, hide your face, and then ask much from Hidden Waterfall. I'm of half a mind to tell you to get out now."

I gave a nod of acknowledgement at the words. "That is fair. I have been concealing much from you, and I realize that this has made my plans about our alliance seem suspect to you. Sound is, after all, just a new upstart village and it would make sense if we didn't have much power to be of any help to you in the first place. If your Daimyo hadn't requested that you meet with me I'm certain that you wouldn't even entertain the thought."

The man gave me an unimpressed look. "Quit the theatrics. You're obviously building up to something. Just put it out there. What is this magical bit of information that you are going to share that's going to get me to change my mind."

I pout for a moment. I'd been planning that speech for days now! No appreciation of a good speech these days.

I heave a sigh and grab the veil over my face and head and pull it down, revealing my face. As I did that, I released the hold I had on my chakra. Not a lot, but enough that someone paying attention could feel that I wasn't exactly a rank and file ninja.

"Even if my village isn't enough. Having my strength behind it would be quite the boon, no?" I stated with cheer.

Saito slowly set his pen down and sat ever so straight in his chair. The man's face remind serene, but the way his jugular pulsed told me that he was anything but calm.

"To clarify." The man said, his voice only slightly shaking. "Are you Orochimaru? Or just related to him?"

I sat down in the chair across form the man, crossing my ankles and adopting my best polite smile. "I was Orochimaru, but I've gone through some changes and go by Orochitama these days."

The man blinked a few times. "Those rumors were right? We'd heard some whispers about that but-" the man trailed off.

"But you thought it was a misinformation plan to waste people's resources, because how could one of the most dangerous shinobi on the planet suddenly change genders and gain an entirely different outlook on life? It is a silly idea." I agree, giving a small laugh. "It is, however, what happened."

The man sitting across form me went quiet, contemplating my words. I let him digest the information for a bit. It wasn't every day that the milf version of the most feared mad scientist in the world shows up for a meeting after all. Plus this wasn't like much of my meetings. I wasn't trying to baffle the man or keep him distracted. I needed him to leave this conversation feeling in control and confident in his decision. My typical strategy of confuse and have them question what happened just wouldn't work well here. I was here to make a friend after all.

"You have been courting us for this alliance of yours for quite a while now. I have been resistant. If I continue to say no, will I have to worry about the safety of my village?" The mans asked, fist tightening. Possibly preparing himself to use some sort of suicide technique or just preparing to meet my demands.

"No. If you don't agree I'll just leave. I'm here in good faith and having an ally that is forced just asks for a knife in the back. This will do me no good if it is coerced." I say with a shake of my head.

"You are correct that having you as an ally would be a boon for Waterfall. Lightning as of late has been acting like our boarder lines are merely a suggestion and what you're proposing would go a long way to make them back off." The man confirmed before beginning stroke the short beard on his chin. "Your reputation, though, should make me more worried about being your ally than worrying about any of my enemies. I would need guarantees to be able to protect myself and my village."

A wide smile grew over my face. He was considering it! Good.

"Our relationship does have an imbalance of power. I think the best thing would be for me to give you power with which you can leverage yourself." I state and take a moment to put on a thinking face, idly tapping the side of my cheek in apparent thought. It was an act, I had already planned this before coming here and he probably knew that, but ninjas just didn't feel comfortable if there wasn't at least some layer of deception involved in things. "I am prepared to personally train one team from your village for two years. I can train them up to be assets that would be valuable enough that it would be quite bad for me if they were turned back on me."

"Training?" The man asked, intrigued. Powerful ninja were what decided life or death of a village. One jounin was often worth hundreds of gennin. Quantity did have it's benefits, but the quality could outpace it drastically. In recent memory, Namikaze Minato being a one man army killer made it quite clear how a single powerful ninja was reason enough to fear a village. "That is a very tempting offer. However a powerful ninja is not always the best teacher. How would I know that you would even do a good job of teaching them?"

"I'm so glad you asked!" I said with a clap of my hands. "I wouldn't give them my complete attention. I am leading a village. I have a team to help me train and I give individual attention as well. I would just slot them in with the teams I already assist training."

"Others will be doing most of the training then." The man said, face beginning to sour. "This doesn't speak of it's quality."

"That's a good point. Well, if you pull up your mission records from five months ago, you should find a mission report of when one of your teams ran across one of my teams. It probably doesn't have names, but the three gennin that your team met were named Kin, Dosu, and Zaku. Since that mission I have taken them under my wing to prepare them for Sound's first Chunin Exams! I do believe you could see their performance to get a good idea of my teaching ability!" I said, dropping a closed fist onto an open palm in front of me as though I had just solved a puzzle and thought myself clever.

"The chunin exams?" Saito said, pondering. Adopting the same light tone I had been using. "The same one that you are apparently setting up a large fairground in front of?"

I ignored the accusation. "Yes. That's the one. Just pay attention to the exam and you'll see how well my team performs! No need to make a decision until after you see what you are wanting." I said with a wave of my hand. "It's understandable. I'm giving Hidden Grass the same opportunity after all."

The man snorted and shook his head. "So that's it." I had made this a commodity that would be passed out to multiple parties now. If he didn't join he wouldn't just be missing out, he'd be behind one of his competitors. I had kept my word. I didn't give a threat. I was just making an offer too good to refuse and all his alarm bells were ringing. "You came in here and I'm just dancing along to your tune."

"I'm just trying to bribe you into doing what I want." I stated simply.

"Uh huh." The man said disbelievingly. "Fine. You have my approval for now, depending on how the Chunnin Exams turns out. Your brats show they are much better now than our records indicate and you'll have your alliance."

I let out a gasp and hold my hands to my chest. "That's wonderful! I appreciate it!" I had done it! I just needed the kids to come through, and I'd have this in the bag. Though, there was another thing I should do too. "Now that we are allies, there is something I should tell you, but you probably want to keep it to yourself for now."

The man's eyebrows furrowed and his guard once again raised. "What?"

"Have you heard of the organization called Akatsuki?"

xxxxx

Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sarutobi felt the ache in his soul as he walked towards his meeting. Every step felt as a small eternity as he tried to keep a kind face and a generous word. It was very hard, sometimes, to continue to act kind and doting at times like these.

"Come on! I really really wanna go! Can't we? It's literally right outside. We should go! I heard they had great food and there are these neat shows going on!" Konohamaru asked. Again.

"We can go after we've made sure that-"

"I'm amazing though! I'm not gonna get hurt. I'll protect you so we can just go!" His grandson continued.

Hiruzen gave a slight laugh. His grandson was cute, but he didn't take no for an answer and persistent enough to make his meetings feel like a welcome reprieve rather than a dull slog. That or he was just getting so old that paper work and meetings was just preferred to literally any moving.

"Not today, Konohamaru. I have meetings all day." He deflected. The new carnival was suspicious and he wasn't sure he wanted to let his ninjas go there; much less his easily kidnapped grandson.

"Tomorrow?" He whined.

Hiruzen sighed and gave his best smile. "I will see about maybe doing Saturday of next week."

"But that's like nine days away!" Konohamaru screamed. "I'll be the really lame kid that didn't get to go see it when everyone else goes with their parents!"

Hiruzen winced. It was not lost on him though that Konohamaru was not asking to go, but asking to go with him. This was about more than just going to a cool place. He had to do what he had to do though. It was unfair and it made him all the grumpier inside as he stated, "I'm afraid it's the best I can do."

"Fine! We can go all late and be stupid!" Konohamaru growled before darting away.

Were children always like this? Was it always so hard? Hiruzen gave another sigh. He'd make it up to him later. Maybe take him out for lunch and invite him over for a board game night. He always loved those board game nights.

Setting his shoulders, Hiruzen walked into a meeting with his most trusted allies.

And Danzo.

As he entered, he gazed about the room. Jiraiya, Danzo, Ibiki, Shikaku, and surprisingly Kakashi awaited him. He gave a gesture verifying his identity disguised as dismissive wave. Force of habit more than anything. He sat down in his nice comfortable chair and put family drama aside for politics.

He hated that it was a relief.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen stated as he began to set up his pipe for a smoke. "I did not expect you at this meeting."

"Sorry Hokage-sama. I said something to Jiraiya and he insisted on bringing me." The Copy Ninja stated as he gave an unamused look to the Toad Sage.

"You have some special insight on the-" Hiruzen paused to consider the right word. "The spectacle going on outside our walls?"

"Pure speculation. Not really worth mentioning." Kakashi continued in a bored tone.

Ah. Kakashi didn't want to talk about it. At least not here. Embarrassment? With Jiraiya being involved it seemed likely. Though Jiraiya also had his poker face on. Of all his students, it was, surprisingly, Jiraiya who was the best at gambling. In large part due to the fact that he could mask his emotions well. He just hated to do it.

The stoic face meant either grave things, or he was just doing it because Danzo was here.

The two did hate each other ever since Jiraiya put an entire can of glitter into Danzo's underwear drawer.

"Report. What have we found?" Hiruzen said, fully starting the meeting. Shikaku slid a paper on the desk towards him. It was a simple advertisement with font in bright and cheerful colors with a simple proclamation. "Otogakure's Friendship Extravaganza. Come see the greatest show on earth." He read aloud, growing more incredulous as he went.

"Yep. That's their stance. They have shows. Performers. Games. The major attraction is supposed to be some big play they do every night starting tomorrow all the way up to the first day of the Chunnin Exams." Shikaku stated.

"They filed all the paperwork to do this legally how?" Hiruzen asked, since he was sure that he would have caught something like that passing over his desk.

"The Daimyo of the Land of Rice is there and is the one that we signed the rights to make a tent there to. The people running it are his staff. The customers are guests. It's a bit of a loophole but it stands up enough that if we make a fuss about it it'll piss off some people." Shikaku answered in a tone that sounded both annoyed and impressed.

Hiruzen did recall signing off to allow a large entourage to come with the Rice Daimyo. They had all thought this was an attempt by the boy to appear important by bringing a lot of staff with him. Most child Daimyo go through that phase at some point. The chunnin exams was often a time for the daimyo to make connections with each other as well as find deals among merchants. It wasn't unusual for them to slip ninjas into stuff like this, but the scale of Oto's was attempt beyond the pale.

At the least he was impressed with their audacity.

"Any signs of them preparing to attack, besides the obvious?"

"None. Not a single exploding tag. Not an unseemly large amount of weapons gathered. No poisons. They all seem suspiciously unsuspicious." The Nara stated.

That could be a good thing though. It was possible that Oto came here to grandstand on their front lawn for just the infamy of having done it. It was exactly the sort of thing that could attract business to a small village. If they were to do it on a village, it would have to be Konoha as well.

"Ibiki. What did you get?" Hiruzen asked as he took a puff from his pipe.

"They had an odd response to aggression." Ibiki noted. "Some acted afraid, but not with the person being aggressive with them. Others seemed to find aggression funny, even if the aggressor was clearly much stronger than them."

"They have a stronger leader then?" Jiraiya spoke up with a guess. "If they were told to not start anything it would explain the fear. The confidence must be because they are sure that someone above them would step up and be stronger."

"That would be my guess too." Ibiki agreed. "They weren't hiding anything from us either. None showed any hesitation in letting us see their inventory. They are either the best village I've seen for wide spread emotional control or they don't think there is anything to hide."

Hiruzen glanced towards Danzo, expecting a response to that. The man was usually quick to point out that everyone had things to hide, but he remained quiet and passive. A more charitable mood from him than normal. That might make this meeting easier on all involved.

"Many ninja seemed to be making a specific and forced effort to be friendly as well. They are not particularly good at it, but it gives the image that they are attempting to deepen friendship." Ibiki stated.

"What about the individual ninja?" Jiraiya asked, "Have we begun to identify them?"

Shikaku threw a stack of folders on the table. "It's a mess. If they aren't unknown they are from a failed hidden village or were kicked out of their own village."

"Missing-Nin?" Sarutobi asked. The last thing they needed was a bunch of villages coming in to fight their missing nin right on Konoha's doorstep.

"No." Shikaku answered. "All of them are the kind of people kicked from the village but didn't have bounties on them. Meaning they pissed off someone higher up in their own village for some reason, but still have enough friends in village to keep the hunters away."

"Or they just weren't important enough to bother with." Jiraiya added.

"In your opinions, do you think we should prevent the people from going?" Hiruzen asked, getting to the heart of the issue.

"Give a disclaimer that it might not be safe. Then watch from a distance to make sure those people don't fall victim to something." Jiraiya stated. "This could just be them trying to get their name out. They are a new village."

"I'm against it." Ibiki answered. "Nothing matches up. This is too costly to just be an attempt at gaining recognition. There is a piece to the puzzle we are missing and I don't like finding those pieces at the cost of potentially civilian lives."

"If we forbid it too much they'll go on their own." Shikaku stated. "If we can post a time and place, people will be safer and we might figure out more. Make sure there are ninja posted inside the carnival during its operating hours so that they are available to react to threats."

Hiruzen took the information in. None of them said anything he didn't agree with. It was a complex decision and he wasn't certain where he wanted to fall on the decision quite yet. Though if anyone was going to convince him it was a bad idea, it would be Danzo. He had an ability to make a lot of things seem unappealing and negative.

"Danzo? What is your take?" He asked.

"I would have the information Hatake said before I speak." Danzo stated, giving the younger ninja a steely gaze.

Kakashi sat in the corner of the office, face buried in his book, not giving any indication that he heard Danzo.

"Speak Hatake." Danzo stated firmly.

Kakashi once again gave no reaction. Jiraiya meanwhile began to look immensely pleased.

Hiruzen suppressed a sigh.

"Please answer his question Kakashi." Hiruzen said.

"Hm?" Kakashi said, looking up. "Oh, sorry, I didn't hear him over the sounds of him not being in my chain of command."

This sent Jiraiya into an uproar of laughter and Hiruzen raised an eyebrow. That was an unusual amount of sass from the Copy Ninja. He usually made sure to not poke at things like Danzo if he could avoid it. What possessed him to respond like that?

"Kakashi." He stated warningly. He didn't need this meeting suddenly becoming unproductive.

"It's something my student said." Kakashi said flippantly. "It's just that and a gut feeling, but I think Orochitama might be involved with this."

Kakashi's answer sent Jiraiya into a fit of laughter and Hiruzen was almost tempted to join in. The idea that his former student would have anything to do with the loud, brightly colored, sweet smelling, and densely packed piece of barely controlled chaos outside their gates was ridiculous. Those were all things that Orochimaru hated beyond all things.

The last time he had been taken to a festival he stated he would sooner cut off one of his legs than go to another and had staunchly refused to attend any similar event since.

"Which student?" Shikaku asked seriously, undercutting Hiruzen's mirth.

"Naruto." Kakashi answered reluctantly.

"You would allow the failure to dictate your opinions?" Danzo sniffed.

"Why not? The Third takes your advice." Kakashi stated before turning a page in his book. The entire room looked at Kakashi in shock. Even Kakashi stopped for a moment as he registered what he said before sighing and speaking up before anyone else could. "Naruto at several points in the mission was able to predict her behavior where no one else could. He seemed to understand her on some level."

"There is no world in which Orochimaru would come within a hundred miles that loud music and bright colors. Hell, even that flier would physical pain him to see. No way he's involved." Jiraiya said dismissively

"But we know from Anko that something has happened with Orochimaru's soul." Ibiki pointed out, watching Danzo's face. The man gave no reaction to information that should have been new to him but was doubtlessly not. Hiruzen felt his gut churn at the mention. He had mixed feelings on that fact still. If something happened to the soul, in some sense, his student might already be dead. In others...maybe this would allow for a reconection?

He squashed those feelings. He couldn't afford them right now.

"The Uzumaki might be the closest we have to a character witness. Is he a good judge of character?" Ibiki continued his questioning.

"I-" Kakashi started then stopped. "I'm actually really not sure. I would say no off the cuff but he's shown bizarre insight multiple times. I really can't say."

"I concur." Hiruzen stated. "He has had strikes against him, such as with Mizuki, but at other times he saw things even others missed. His judgment is unreliable currently."

"We should allow some unimportant people into the carnival." Danzo spoke up, apparently coming to a decision. "If we did not do so we might appear cowardly to the other villages present. We must consider our image. Especially in front of the Daimyo and those coming for the exams. Check for illusions and if someone dies we will make them pay in return."

Hiruzen hadn't expected Danzo to fall on the side of allowing ninja to go to such frivolity, but his stated reason was true and did fit with Danzo's typical arguments. They had nothing but a hunch to imply a threat as great as Orochimaru might be involved.

Or, rather, Orochitama.

"Spread around that people can go, but we aren't sure it's safe. Keep Hyuuga and Inuzuka available to keep watch for anything suspicious during their hours of operation. Ibiki, see if you can find one of their ninja's that you can milk for information."

Nods came from all around the room and everyone stood up to leave. Kakashi quickly exited through the window. Obviously going out of his way to avoid going closer to Danzo. As the room cleared, Jiraiya approached him.

"So." Jiraiya began.

Hiruzen felt a smirk tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Can you imagine. Orochimaru. In charge of a circus." His student began to give a shit eating grin and Hiruzen couldn't help but let out a laugh of his own. "Coming in with the top hat and everything-" the man barely got out before devolving into laughter.

If this person wasn't Orochimaru and was involved in this debacle, his snake pupil was doubtlessly roiling in the Shinigami's stomach.
xxxxxx

I returned to Hidden Sound a short time after my trip to Hidden Waterfall. My time there had been quite productive. The longer the meeting went on the more I was sure that I had convinced him to join. If my team did well, it was unquestionable. If they didn't, I could still probably swing it my way.

"Orochitama-sama." Kabuto greeted me as I approached. "You're back sooner than I expected."

"Hidden Grass informed me that I would have to come back another time. I think they caught wind that I met with Hidden Waterfall and are pissy that I met with them first."

"I see." Kabuto answered. "I expected you to already have gone to Konoha as well."

"I could say the same. I expected you to already be there running interference with Danzo." I stated simply, casting a glance at him. The fact he was here could be a bad sign. It could mean I didn't have his loyalty as much as I-

"Kimimaro took a turn for the worse. I sent a message through secure channels to Danzo that will make him want things to play out for a while, but I didn't want to leave Kimimaro unless I knew he was going to be stable while I was gone."

"What?" I asked, stopping cold. "Is he stable now? Was it his platelet count? The red blood cells?" My voice growing faster and higher in pitch as I talked.

"His red blood cells." Kabuto answered, producing a chart and handing it over to me. "They began to crash. He's not in any great danger, but his blood is having trouble bringing things to his liver and he has no energy. It's not deadly, but if he got into a fight he would likely burn oxygen faster than his body could absorb it."

I looked over the chart and confirmed the information. All the while I could feel Kabuto's gaze on me. He was watching for something, I just couldn't say what.

"Why didn't you go to Konoha?" He asked, throwing me for a loop.

"I wanted to make sure things were fine here before I went. I'm glad I did, so I could see this." I answered simply as I poured over the charts.

I felt his gaze linger on me longer. I glanced up and his face looked pensive. Uncertain. He wasn't watching me for something now. He was judging if he should do something.

"Say what's on your mind." I said kindly, giving my best comforting smile.

"You left people here in charge. You had stated you were confident that the people here could run things while you were gone. You trust them enough to leave them running things for a month while you are out, yet you came back the same day." Kabuto stated slowly.

"Your point?" I asked, not seeing where this was going.

"You are avoiding going to Konoha." Kabuto stated in a voice bordering on soft.

My brow furrowed. "What? Don't be silly. This is my plan. I knew this would happen."

"You have avoided going to Tsunade as well." Kabuto continued. "Is it possible that you are avoiding your past teammates?"

I felt my temper spike at the insinuation and a snarl started to cross my face. How dare he assume the emotional weakness of-

I stopped. I had almost called Kusanagi out. Over a question about my health. That wasn't like me. I took a breath and centered myself. This was the bit in me that was still Orochimaru. Honestly, a bit of my old self too. Both of us had hated showing weakness. It was a sore spot. Where those sore spots aligned for my two aspects, violence wanted to leap out.

But I was better than that. So I stopped and I really thought about his question.

I had put off going to see Tsunade because I felt it would be emotionally exhausting. Was it the same for Konoha? Thoughts of the city itself didn't seem to stir anything in me besides a vague nostalgia. A slight longing for being able to stand up high in one of the trees near dusk in the fall. Orochimaru had fond memories of sitting up there with the cool wind's caress and the smell of wood-smoke in the air. Though that was all I really seemed to want to do in Konoha itself.

Then I thought of meeting Jiraiya again. Seeing his reaction to me would doubtlessly be amusing. He wouldn't know how to take things at all. Would he react with his typical perverse nature, or would he react with disgust?

The image was not entirely pleasant, but it wasn't the worst. It was emotionally heavy, for sure. However it was very possible Jiraiya wasn't even in the city. He did wonder a lot. So the one likely to meet would be Sarutobi-Sensei. He wouldn't know what to do with himself on meeting me. He'd probably stare dumbly and reject what was right in front of his god damn smug face-

Oh. Okay then. Maybe I was avoiding it. The memories of Sarutobi-Sensei were emotionally charged, but in a very distant and repressed way. Dealing with that in a way that wouldn't end in a fight was a trying thought. Throw in possibly seeing Jiraiya too?

"I think you are right Kabuto-kun. I think I had some repressed emotion I was letting effect me. Thank you for pointing it out to me." I said coming back to myself and giving my best nurturing smile.

Kabuto stared at me for a moment, coming to his own conclusion of some kind, and nodded. "You're welcome, Orochitama-sama."

Taking the new information into account while I smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles in my floral dress as I made a decision. I was loath to let an emotion like anxiety or fear control me. I was better than that.

"I will check up on Kimimaro. Can I ask that you check on the Carnival in my stead?" I asked as I began to move, Kabuto falling in step behind me.

"Of course." He answered easily. Taking on responsibility easily was something he had been trained for. Usually to stab people in the back, but I was trying to avoid thinking about that bit at the moment.

"Where will you be going?" He asked.

"One of my precious subordinates is close to death." I flipped some of my hair over my shoulder as I marched with purpose. "I have to make a bet with a sucker."
xxxxx

Notes:

Latest chapter! I'm going to try and post a chapter of something else this month too. I think it will be a new story I've had bouncing around for a while that I'm not sure will go very far, but it was inspired by thinking further about this story. So keep an eye out. If I don't post it before then, just know I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"I have to make a bet with a sucker." Orochitama stated, squaring her shoulders before leaving the room with purpose.

Kabuto watched her go and then, after a few minutes, let out a shaky sigh or relief. That interaction had been terrifying, but also informative. It confirmed that the profile he had been building was correct. Orochitama had been avoiding some actions due to a subconscious desire to avoid emotionally complex situations.

Assuming that said vulnerability was not just displayed for his benefit. Throwing out false flags about personal weaknesses was a good practice for ninja. He suspected that wasn't the case here, though of course he would. He thought of it, so he was naturally predisposed to believe it. A simple instinct that he had observed Orochitama take good advantage of over the last several months.

Kabuto shook his head to clear it and walked to meet with one person in the world he felt he could...mostly trust. His gaze glanced over the brightly colored walls and the motivational words hung from frames.

It was amazing how much things could change in a short time.

"Kabuto-kun." Nono called out as he approached. Her body posture screaming hesitance while her face whispered of hope. Hope that looked contradictory in the black eyes of an Edo Tensei summon. It seemed she was as torn on his existence as he was on hers even still. "You're late. Work keep you up?" She asked probingly.

Was she gathering information or just checking on him? Both? Either way, Orochitama's return wouldn't be hidden.

"Yes, Orochitama-sama returned and Kimimaro had some health complications." Kabuto answered easily before hesitantly walking to sit down on the bench across from the hall from her. Nono looked at him in consideration before sitting down next to him, though kept her hands apart and visible to him.

That was kind of her, even if it was training number thirty-seven subsection alpha used to get close to wary ninjas.

"Oh? Is everything okay? You seem out of sorts today. Plus you are already supposed to have left, right?" She asked.

"Yes." Kabuto stated before pausing in consideration. "I- I did what you had suggested."

"Oh." Nono stated faintly before looking up and down the halls in slight fear before focusing on him again. "Are you okay? How did she take it?"

"She-" Kabuto hesitated, collecting this thoughts. That was nice to be able to do. To have natural pauses in conversation and not pre-planned ones to have the most emotional impact. He took a breath to appreciate that for a moment. "She stated I was correct and that she is changing her plans to hunt down Tsunade now, so that she can help Kimimaro's worsening condition."

"She just admitted it as a weakness?" Nono asked. "That easily?"

"Yes." Kabuto stated. "She just confirmed it and stated she changed plans based on it."

Nono's brows furrowed. "So we were wrong. She wouldn't admit to it so easily if it were true."

"I'm not so certain that's true." He adjusted the glasses on his face in consideration.

"Oh?"

"I have not felt Orochitama use killing intent once since her-" What was it she always said? Ah. Right. "Not since her soul search. But me confronting her with her weaknesses, in a public space, she almost attacked me. I could feel her intent to kill and it was every bit as potent as it ever has been. She almost killed me for what I did."

Nono's face pinched and Kabuto was sure she would have turned pale if she had the blood flow that would make her capable of that.

"Are you safe? Is she going to just wait to do something in private?"

"I don't think so." Kabuto stated and all the tiny details of the last few months made him come to a conclusion that a part of him didn't think was possible. Not for the kind of person that did the kinds of things the Snake Sannin had done. The kind of things he had done. "I think she's ashamed of her past actions. I think she's taking actions not just from some plan or manipulation. I think I need to entertain the idea that she's making decisions based on morality, not on pragmatism."

"Morality? A change of heart? From the person that induced chakra poisoning in fifty orphans to see if it was possible for toddlers to survive it with no treatment?" Nono scoffed. "This is probably a play to try and manipulate people. Make them think she's going soft."

"There are more efficient ways to do that." Kabuto stated and shook his head. "And she's been actively going out of her way to make people think all these actions were out of pragmatism. Every time someone has brought up a question of why she always brings out a litany of self-serving reasons it was done."

The hallway grew silent.

"But-" Nono's voice started, sounding flabbergasted. "But why? Why try to hide it?"

Nono said it, but they both knew why. He had read her mission reports from her time in Root. They both had taken advantage of the reason many times. It was one of the easiest things a shinobi worth their salt could use. It was obvious, but he felt the need to voice it, when for so long he never had been allowed to.

"Because having a heart is a terrible weakness."

"It is, but it also can bring strength." Nono stated firmly. For the first time in their conversation, her eyes had steel and she spoke with the confidence reserved only for children, the drunk, and the foolish. "I was stronger after finding my heart than I ever was in Root."

Kabuto closed his eyes and resisted the urge to lean against her. He wanted to, but if he did it it would serve to make him uncomfortable. This hadn't been something he'd factored for. He'd never had the opportunity to operate under someone with a moral compass and the power to be able to actually enforce it.

"The question, Kabuto-kun," Came Nono's voice, "Is if you find the strength this would bring her worth the weakness it would show." The woman then lowered her voice to give a barely perceptible "If it's actually true."

"Yes." It surprised him that he got his answer instantly. "I would rather die helping someone who values me than live serving someone while being disposable."

"If that is what's happening here." Nono reminded.

"Yes. If that's what's happening." Kabuto confirmed. He had to keep in mind that he could be wrong. Pride does ninja in as often as a heart does after all. "However I think Orochitama-sama's maybe is far more attractive than Danzo's certainty."

A laugh of the gallows came from Nono and a smile split her face like man committing seppuku split his belly.

"Of that, Kabuto-kun, we can both agree."

xxxxx

I could hear screams and it made my stomach roll. Cries of pain. People begging for the mercy of death. I could feel my mind note the behavior clinically before allowing myself to enjoy the entertainment, despite another part of me wanting to shiver with revulsion. This was for science this time, not recreational. Though as many of the subjects lost all sense as they succumbed to the intense pain during the third hour of the procedure I could feel a devil's smile cross my face and laughter bubble forth.

Then I woke up. Orochimaru's training stopping me from immediately sitting up in bed or letting out a shudder. I forced myself to do it anyways a second later, as I did with all of those dreams.

I closed my eyes and wiped a hand down my face. I hated Orochimaru's fucking memories. The war. The killing. The fighting. That was bad, but I could deal with it. It was the stuff off the battlefield that liked to creep into my dreams. That liked to ruin my mood when things got quiet.

"Orochitama-sama?" Came Sakon's voice from the other side of the thin hotel door. "Tsunade-sama is awake and on the move."

Already? That was unusual.

I had tracked the Senju down the previous day, but when I had arrived the buxom blond had been beyond drunk and was firmly in the realm of shitfaced. Experience from both lives told me approaching her then was not a good idea. So instead I rented a room and decided to sleep for the night.

Dream aside, it was a superb choice. The room had a particularly plush bed and had a wonderful hot spring that did wonders for my ability to face the prospect of meeting my former teammate. I allowed myself to enjoy the amenities as the ones tracking Tsunade, Sakon and Ukon, continued to keep watch over the woman.

"Thank you, Sakon-kun. Rejoin Ukon-kun and try to keep out of sight still. I'll get dressed and catch up with her." I responded as I rose from the bed and and began to prepare myself. I couldn't very well go see Tsunade with bedhead, now could I?

"At once." Sakon replied in confirmation before dashing away.

It was likely best that I took my time. Tsunade wasn't a morning person and I knew she had gone on a bender the night before. If she was awake this early it was either because something had annoyed her or she won a game last night and wants to move on because she got spooked. Since the universe seemed fit to deem that Tsunade could only win a gamble if something bad was about to happen to her.

I'd scoff at the nonsense if I hadn't seen it be correct so often. I still wasn't ready to accept fortune telling via gambling, but I wasn't ready to write it off either.

Either way, it was a good idea to let Tsunade get on with her day and get into a better mood before approaching her. So I took my time doing my hair, debated on which outfit to wear, got myself a nice breakfast with some lovely tea, then I grabbed two more orders to go and started to make my way towards my former teammate. It was around eleven in the morning when I caught up with Sakon and his brother, both crouched to peak over the ledge of a building.

I made sure to not reveal myself but gently set the two orders down behind them.

"I got you both some breakfast. The thermos has an apple tea that I highly suggest you have while it is still warm." I stated softly.

The two brothers turned to regard me for a moment. Sakon and Ukon had both been staunchly supportive and vocal about me still being Orochimaru, regardless of the cosmetic changes. However, as time passed, they began being less vocal. More warry. They weren't so certain that was true anymore.

They regarded the food and turned away from it.

"She's in there. The gambling den just opened and she bullied her way in. Her bitch hasn't followed in, meaning she probably gave her the slip." Sakon stated.

A frown tugged at my face for more reasons than his derision of Shizune. It was possible she had managed to slip away to avoid her aid's insistence to her that she not gamble as much. That could even be why she left the room so early, in order to not have her assistant chase after her easily.

"Did she have a pig with her?" I asked.

"Huh?" Sakon blinked, "Oh, uh, yeah. She went in with that pig they travel with."

"Seems you need to practice your stealth then." I stated as I cast a pulse of chakra out from me. Something I knew Tsunade would pick up on, but would also tell me what I wanted to know as well.

As soon as the pulse went out Shizune leapt from the building beside us, tiny needles heading towards us both. I opened my mouth and Kusanagi swiped them from the air.

The Konoha medic landed light on her feet and she quickly pulled back on the strings on her arm launcher and leveled it at us both. She thought she was going to threaten us with some needles and poison. That was adorable.

"You really think that-" Sakon began.

"Don't bite your tongue." I interrupted as I reached out for him.

"Huh?"

The door to the gambling den splintered and an angry blonde missile came barreling towards us both. I managed to yank Sakon out the way and leaned slightly to avoid the lethal attack of the last Senju. The woman instead smashed into the chimney of the building we were on with a violent explosion.

I maneuvered Sakon behind me as I sighed and straightened out my dress. Perhaps going with the white and purple dress wasn't the best thing to wear to meet Tsunade. She did tend to kick dust up everywhere.

"Ara ara. Such destruction, Tsunade, I wasn't doing anything to harm-"

My fingers snapped up to grab the tiny needles that just flew towards me. I turned and gave Shizune a sigh and the look I found to be effective at getting toddlers to stop rough housing.

"Shizune-chan, please stop that. We are trying to use our words right now."

The woman gaped at me in shock. She also didn't load another needle, so mission accomplished!

The dust cleared and Tsunade stood there, fists raised and her face the very picture of stony resolve and acidic anger.

"Who the fuck are you?" She demanded, though unlike others that asked that on first meeting me, she said it differently. She had no question on who I was presenting myself to be. She felt the chakra I let off. She knew the looks. She just couldn't believe that Orochimaru would look like how I do now in any world or existence.

"Is that any way to treat your former teammate?" I asked, holding a hand to my chest and giving a voice of faux hurt.

Tsunade's stared. Then stared longer. Her mouth half hanging open as I politely obliged her incredulity with silence and no violent action. Just a smile and my hands grabbing lower on my dress giving a slight tug back and forth to make the material sway slightly.

Finally, Tsunade seemed to have seen enough, she lowered her fists, stood up straight, and announced, "No."

Then she turned and began to walk away.

"That was good?" Sakon asked in shock and just a twinge of anger.

"Of course." I gestured to the bags on the ground. "Your food didn't even get messed up! Though you should probably head back to the hotel now. Have a meal and get some rest." I ordered as I reached back to put my hair in a pony tail. "It's up to me from here."

xxxx

Hatake Kakashi was really trying to find a fuck to give and he kept coming up short. He was supposed to seem invested in this, but he didn't really want to be here. The only reason he was at all was based solely on one central factor.

"Gah! Come on! This game is rigged!" Naruto yelled angrily.

If they didn't go with Naruto he'd just go by himself.

"Of course it is. It's a carnival game, dumbass." Sasuke replied before tossing three rings in a row. Sasuke's throw used the near invisible strings blocking the bottles to actually land the rings on their desired locations.

"We have a winner. Woo." The man at the stall stated drolly before grabbing a small stuffed cat from the display before casually tossing it to Sasuke. His broody student stared at the toy with offense, as if he hadn't just paid five-hundred ryo for the opportunity to win it.

"Sasuke-kun, if you don't want it, I could take it?" Sakura replied lightly. Far too lightly.

Sasuke glanced at the toy, trying to see the trap, but came up short to what it could be. So he just shrugged and threw it to her.

"Sure. Whatever." It wasn't as if it meant much to the Uchiha.

Sakura, meanwhile, looked as if Uzume herself descended from heaven and personally handed her her greatest desire. To Sakura, this was now a date and she had proof. He won her a prize after all.

"Well this is a dumb game anyways." Naruto whined, as he turned his head to not look at the stuffed animal nor Sasuke. "We should go get some food! I heard that they had some great stuff!"

Kakashi sighed and followed after as they descended into bickering. Usually he found the infighting of his team amusing. Endearing at some points. However, he could only stifle a sigh of frustration. Still, he'd had worse assignments and completed them in worse states. And he couldn't very well let his cute little gennin get offed just because they weren't patient enough to get the all clear for visiting the obvious trap outside the village.

Though, he did have to admit, seeing Naruto completely miss every single reverse pickpocket so far and actually complain about not getting one yet was worth a chuckle.

Then someone bumped into his shoulder.

"Hey buddy, look where you're going and stop staring at brilliance." An angry voice demanded before a nondescript disappeared into the crowd.

Of course. Why not? Add that the pile too.

"Why don't you guys go get some food at that stand and I'll get us some of that pink puffy stuff we saw earlier." Kakashi stated.

"Okay, Kakashi-sensi."

"Fine."

"Sweet! Thanks!"

His students then began to ignore him. He took the opportunity to duck into a small gap between stalls. A small gap in the back wall of one of the stalls allowing him to still keep an eye on his students.

"You think coming here with them was a good idea?" Jiraiya asked. He was in the same henge he had been in when they bumped into each other earlier.

"Naruto was going to come here one way or the other. I had to show up because his godfather wasn't really around to do it for me." Kakashi shot back.

Jiraiya blinked, and whispered so low that Kakashi could barely hear it over the sounds of the crowd around them. "You okay kid?"

"I'm fine." Kakashi responded and once again glanced to make sure the kids were fine. He went to smell for anything suspicious, but it was almost impossible with all the people around and the smell of fried foods.

"Bullshit." Jiraiya stated simply. "You were snippy at the meeting earlier too. What's up?"

Now? He wanted to do this now?

"The middle of an enemy garrison is not the place for this conversation." Kakashi responded tersely.

Jiraiya regarded him for a moment. The mummer of the crowds and the whistles and bells of the carnival games filled the silence.

"Is this about what the snake said?" Jiraiya asked.

He wanted to snap back at Jiraiya just then. How could the man not know that finding out Obito was still alive was fucking him up inside? How he wondered if Obito had suffered all this time and he never knew? How he stayed awake at night wondering if he'd one day have to kill his friend because the boy that set his moral compass seemed to be palling around with the people that thought Orochimaru was good company.

No. With people that Orochimaru apparently thought was too extreme.

But he couldn't have that conversation. Not now. Not even taking into account they were surrounded by foreign shinobi! But he couldn't yell about any of that. He couldn't mention it.

"I'm fine." Kakashi said lightly, flipping a page in his book.

Jiraiya met his gaze for a few moments before nodding. "Alright, kid. Let me know when you're ready to talk."

Kakashi glanced to his students. They seemed to be fighting over some spiraled confection with a white drizzle over it.

"I'm going to be in the third row on the right during the show." Jiraiya stated. "I'll help keep an eye for trouble if you sit the kids in that area. Show starts in fifteen minutes. I'd make sure you have a good seat. And hey, maybe enjoy it. The show might not be awful."

Kakashi doubted that. He'd never been much of one for the theatre, but having Jiraiya close at hand during the show would be nice. He gave his nod of agreement, and the two men walked away in opposite directions. Kakashi to his kids. Jiraiya to hopeful grab a seat.

"Kakashi-sensei! You didn't get the puff candy!" Naruto yelled in form of greeting.

"Ah, sorry. They were out when I passed by, though the show is about to start, so I figured we should get our seats." Kakashi stated. His gennin agreed and it took little effort to get them where he wanted them. They took their seats and Kakashi's gaze slid over everyone in the crowd. The stiff backed posture of so many people showed that more than half the crowd were ninja. All the villages were curious about what was going on apparently.

In a low area in front of the stage, a collection of people began to file in and raise bizarre instruments to their lips. Large complex things made of brass with all manner of bends and buttons. He briefly raised his headband to make sure the things weren't some kind of ninja weapon.

Surprisingly, they weren't.

The lights grew dark and he could make out a massive scroll being wheeled onto the stage. A spot light centered on it. Nothing moved. This was it. This could be where the trap was sprung. Did the scroll have a seal? Would it explode and take them all out?

There was an inhale and then-

Music. Loud, bold, and invigorating music blasted out as the scroll opened.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away." Kakashi muttered under his breath as the scroll unfurled, traveling up slowly, new words coming to be displayed and the music played. The score was- well he'd never heard anything like it.

Well maybe this could keep his attention. It was original, if nothing else.
-

Notes:

Happy New Year guys! First chapter of the year and it has some big moments. I'm not totally happy with the ending but I think it's good enough. Hope you all had a great Christmas!

Also, if you prefer it, this story is now on Royal Road and you can see it there too. It's behind here still but should catch up soon as I'm posting a chapter a day there. If ya'll would go see it and give it some positive attention for me I'd appreciate that too!

Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Jiraiya had to admit, the amount of seal work that had to go in to making one of those lightsabers was impressive. Possibly one of the most impressive things in a whole play rife with jutsu. Particularly since he was pretty sure the damn things couldn't cut anything at all and would just give someone some toasty skin if it touched them. The various seals placed around the tent that produced sound on command were also rather inspired.

Genjutsu was generally separated into two categories. The most useful ones involved shoving your own chakra into the target and showed them what you wanted. This method had the added benefit of using the target's own thoughts to fill in any discrepancies. The other method of genjutsu was to make an illusion in the world that would be visible by anyone walking by. It was useful, but any ninja worth their salt should be able to sense the energy there. This play used the second to make scenes and sound effects not otherwise possible. The whole thing took talent and brilliance.

The music came in as the final scene finished. Big and brassy, like most of the music in the show seemed to be. The main character, the lovable rogue, and his partner took a bow as they received their just recognition. Something shonobi are often not given. The music continued as the cast came up to give their bows, all the while that unique heart-pumping music continued to play. The room was silent as everyone there realized that it was over. The experience ended and their minds were catching up to what it was that just happened.

"Woo! Yeah! That was great!" A single loud voice cried out, drawing Jiraiya's attention to the whisker-faced blond sitting next to Kakashi. A bitter sweet smile tugged at his lips...and then the damn seemed to break. The room stood up in applause. Cheers, clapping, cries of appreciation began to fill the air. Not everyone clapped. Some ninja took their leave quickly and quietly.

Jiraiya quickly excused himself as well. Doing a quick ring around the tent to make sure there was no ambush lying in wait. There wasn't, nor did he really expect there to be. The show that was just put on was a labor of love. It was not just one person's passion project, but many. It was unlikely that people would invent several seals and ninjutsu to put on a play, only to use said play for an ambush. They wanted to make other people see it.

The story itself was typical. Classic even. Good versus evil. The reluctant hero called to action. Trusting your instincts. All familiar, but with a spin that already had him planning Icha Icha In Space. Still he had to be professional. He left quickly and began to write down everything relevant that he could think of. He made a trip to a medic to make sure he didn't have any foreign chakra in his system nor that her had ingested any mind altering substances.

He was giving a clean bill of health and he went into the Hokage's office.

"Hey, Sensei, the report." He stated from the sill of the window to the office. Going through the door was for people less awesome. Jiraiya tossed the scroll to the desk, where it landed with a click.

Sarutobi glanced at him and Jiraiya felt a tug at his lips. His sensei had come in from home to receive this report, judging by the casual wear the man wore. A shirt and pants showed far more of his teacher's age than the concealing robes of Hokage.

His sensei looked at him a moment longer, eyes gazing for something, before opening the scroll and beginning to read through. The old man's face scrunching up as he went. He withheld questions though. His sensei always liked to read the report before speaking if he could help it.

Sarutobi reached the end and let out a sigh before leaning back into his chair and groped for the pipe in his top drawer. "I'm not going to make it back for the rest of game night, am I?"

"I don't see why not." Jiraiya stated simply. "This actually all seems on the up-and-up. It really was just a show."

"Just a show?" Sarutobi asked with a raised eyebrow. "You think they poured the time and resources in to making several brand new seals that weren't interrupted by despite dozens of ninja's in the crowd attempted to dispel the illusion. A wind jutsu to move objects without a single hand-sign. You think they made all of that and just advertised it to the world because they wanted to entertain a bunch of enemies?"

"Yes." Jiraiya answered.

Hiruzen gave him a withering look. His sensei just didn't have an appreciation for the arts. Not the showy ones anyways. The old man's version of art involved things being hung on walls and quietly considered.

"No, really, the thing is a labor of love Sensei. A lot of people put a lot of effort into making this not just a distraction, but making it good. This was made by someone who wanted it to be shown and wanted it to be popular. No doubt." Jiraiya stated.

"I don't doubt that someone artistic might have been involved. But who is the one footing the bill? The one in charge of the ninja doing this instead of missions? Why did they approve this? I assure you, that was likely not for artistry." Hiruzen answered as he stuffed tobacco in his pipe.

That was something he had a harder time arguing against. It was a ninja village and the souls devoid of showmanship had to sign off on this too. This likely did have some other reason.

"Well sure." Jiraiya started, not sure where he was going with this yet, but he'd get there as he went. "If it was just a show it could be done anywhere. They did it here. At the Chunnin Exams. And it was-" then it clicked. "It's in the spirit of the exams. It's a show to attract clients. Konoha's clients."

Sarutobi's brow went downwards as he lit is pipe. "Explain."

"The exams are about attracting business. It's about showing all the things you can do and flex on the other villages. That's what they are doing. They are showing new innovations and political acumen in front of the other ninja and the connected and powerful clients, and they are doing it in a way that makes them look nice. Friendly even. The kind of ninja you can trust to do the right thing."

"The sort of reason people usually come to Konoha." Sarutobi finished for him.

"Bingo! The people that come to our exams are going to the ones that's effective with because that's our reputation among the Five Ninja Villages. It's exactly the sort of thing that draws attention. The fact that they did this at all is going to make them the biggest source of attention for any minor village, but them doing it well is going to make them more talked about than Suna!"

"Hm." Hiruzen drew out, pondering.

"Plus we can keep things going the same. Keep ninja posted to watch things and make sure nothing gets out of hand. Watch what they do. Everything we are doing already. We don't have to change anything." Jiraiya continued.

"So just have a bunch of ninja sitting around there? It's possible. Though we might take a hit to morale from having to babysit the area so much."

Ordinarily that would be the case. Anyone not in ANBU typically hated an assignment that you had to stay on guard for but also stay in the same area for hours on end. It was tedious and boring.

"That's not going to be an issue here." Jiraiya promised. "You'll have people coming to you to ask for the assignment."

"It's that good?" Sarutobi asked, surprised.

"I-" Jiraiya stopped for a moment to consider before answering. "Its story is fine. It's very classic and familiar. It doesn't do a lot on that front, but everything else in the show? The music, the effects, the world it's set in. It's made a new genre of entertainment. This will be copied by others. It's classic good and evil, but in space. Who the hell ever thought of a classic hero tale in space!"

"Space?" Hiruzen asked in question. "How do they breathe? Space is also very large, there is no way they could get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time."

Jiraiya stared at the man. This legend of a shinobi. The man that quite possibly understood ninjutsu better than anyone else in the world. Yet couldn't understand that in fiction sometimes things just work because it's cool.

"You really suck the fun out stuff sometimes, you know that sensei?"

Hiruzen pulled his pipe out in affront. "I do not. I'm very fun."

Jiraiya opened his mouth and then shut it. Best not poke that bear. "Sure you are sensei. Just go back and enjoy board game night. I'm sure you left everyone sitting on the edge of their seat to see if you had the right Mahjong tile."

"We weren't playing Mahjong. We were playing Go." Hiruzen stated, as if that somehow made the situation better.

"Uh huh. Well report done. I'm leaving." Jiraya stated as he stood up form the window sill and got ready to leap away.

"Where are you going?" Hiruzen asked.

"I'm going to get another ticket and try some of that Fun Nel Cake that they were selling. Then I'm going to keep an eye on the changing area for their actresses. To see if they have...concealed weapons or seals on them. For safety reasons."

Hiruzen sighed and stood up. "Just don't cause an international incident."

Jiraiya shot a salute and leaped away. The play going through his head as he went. There was one thing that was bugging him though.

"Why did they start with episode four?" He muttered as he went.
xxxxx

Tsunade wasn't drunk enough for this bullshit. Orochimaru in a sundress as a busty woman that flirted like she was paid to stand in front of a whorehouse. No. Not even a violent fever dream of Jiraiya could come up with something like that. It was probably fake. A well done one, but still, likely fake.

"Tsunade, you shouldn't be leaving yet." The pale woman said from ahead of her, leaning against the wall with all the casualness of someone just enjoying the day.

However, she did by running ahead of Tsunade's not insignificant pace. All while not giving herself away to Tsunade's senses and without seeming out of breath.

She also appeared to be wearing heels.

"No. Whatever you want, the answer is no. I'm not interested. I don't want to talk." Tsunade turned and began to walk in another direction.

"Just a moment of your time. The Cell Dissection deal again." The woman stated and Tsunade came to a stop.

Years ago, Orochimaru had been trying to quantify all the parts of a cell and what they were made of. It was edge science at the time. He had done most of the work and he was just asking for a day or two of work from her to help him identify some of the finer parts that he was having trouble with. In exchange, he gave her over a hundred-thousand Ryo and a bottle of Azure Hills sake. He got the work she put in and also got to keep his name as the only one to get the credit. Something she didn't mind.

It was also something she'd never told anyone about. It was almost code for them. Anytime he needed a favor that her name would be kept out of he asked for a Cell Dissection deal. He'd never done in front of anyone. He'd only done it two more times after the first.

Whoever this was, they at least knew Orochimaru well enough to use a phrase that was to be used sparingly.

"I'll listen, but you're paying for breakfast." Tsunade stated. "If you don't make it seem appealing by time I'm done eating, I'm out."

"Wonderful!" The woman said, clapping her hands together like an excitable housewife. "I know a lovely place, we just have to make a brief stop."

She was going to make them stop somewhere else? A trap laid? Somewhere with less witnesses? Some other manipulation?

"I want to be clear. If I don't like what you have to say, I'm gone. If you follow after that, things will get violent." Tsunade threatened as she flexed her chakra, pushing the feel of her conviction into it.

The woman didn't flinch or even react. "Of course! Continuing to pursue after being told you aren't wanted is quite unattractive."

Did she just make fun of Jiraiya? The instant and casual comment almost made her feel nostalgic. She squashed the feeling as the woman led them back the way they came. Shizune caught up to them moments later but stayed distant. Likely keeping a view from the rooftops to intervene only as necessary.

In moments, they were in front of the building they had their brief altercation on. Some bakery of some kind. They walked in and the imposter went to the man behind the counter immediately.

"I don't want bread." Tsunade stated. She wasn't going to let this woman get off by just buying a loaf of bread and claiming it was breakfast.

"We aren't here for that." Orochitama stated dismissively before turning to the man behind the counter. "Excuse me, is this your business sir?"

The man behind the counter was portly. Middle aged. High bread diet. Going by the look of his veins and the way the man's finger glazed over the tools he was setting down he had a minor case of diabetes that had begun to effect his extremities.

"Yes, that is me." The man stated hesitantly.

"My friend here just had a misunderstanding with me on your roof and she just broke your chimney. We came in so that she could apologize and I could pay for the damages." The woman stated.

What? Apologize!? Why was she the one expected to-

"That should cover the damage." The woman stated, dropping way more than the chimney should have cost before bowing to the man at the waist. "I apologize that our disagreement effected you."

"Oh, um, it's no problem." The man said as his hands hesitated above the money. The baker looked to her as if she were to explain things. She shrugged her shoulders in response.

"Ara ara, Tsunade, it's only right that we apologize when we hurt an innocent. Right?" The woman asked.

What a loaded sentence. On the one hand, no such statement would ever come out of Orochimaru's mouth without dripping in sarcasm. On the other hand...they were her words. The exact words she'd chide Orochimaru and Jiraiya with whenever there was collateral damage and she wanted to heal some civilians. Something Orochimaru always waved off as unnecessary and a waste of time. It both confirmed and disproved the woman's identity simultaneously.

It was irritating.

"Lets just go." Tsunade stated turning to the door.

"Sorry for her manners. She's been having a rough time lately. I'll have to come back and buy some bread later though. What's in the oven smells delightful." The woman's voice continued as Tsunade walked out, eye twitching.

This was a mistake. She should just cut her loses and-

"Now that's done, I know a great place to get food down the way. They have a great grilled chicken that pairs wonderfully with their in house sake." The woman stated as she began to walk down the street.

Tsunade sighed. Of course she knew her favorite meal too. Whatever, free food tastes better anyways.

They started to walk down the street and Tsunade could feel her irritation rising. The woman moved completely differently from Orochimaru. Hell, she moved different from most ninjas. She had the gliding grace, but the subtle details were wrong. She went out of her way to make useless motions as she walked. She made herself less efficient consciously. Why?

"You aren't Orochimaru." Tsunade stated. She left the village for a lot of reasons, but one of them was absolutely so she didn't have to deal with this beating around the bush bullshit.

"Yes, I changed my name to Orochitama!" The woman stated cheerily. "I wasn't aware you had been informed of my name change."

This woman had a very punchable face.

This woman, Orochitama she claimed, took her to a restaurant a short distance away. The restaurant was nice but not so nice that you needed to wear fancy clothes to get in. The place had a bunch of exits too, possibly to make any visiting ninja feel more at ease. Not that Tsunade needed that though, walls were more suggestions to her.

Still, they were sat at a table in short order. Tsunade moved before the other woman even had the opportunity to chose a seat and took the one with the best view of the restaurant for incoming threats as well as the ability to see into the kitchen. The pale woman took the position across from her without a word and picked up her menu, seemingly unbothered by the positioning whatsoever.

"I have heard wonderful things about the teriyaki grilled chicken here. I think their wakame might be a good compliment as well." The snake woman said from across the table.

Damn, that did sound good. Still, this woman, this person claiming to be her former teammate, had an angle and had power. Power enough that she should make herself give a shit about what this person wants and what she's doing. She wasn't exactly running missions for Konoha right now, but this was the sort of thing she should probably gather information on and send back home. She'd read the reports of what Orochimaru got up to after she left and most likely anything involving him was bad stuff.

Didn't mean she had to be nice though.

"Spill. What do you want?" Tsunade ordered.

"Well I just ate, so I was thinking of just ordering a dessert." The woman stated, looking through the menu.

Tsunade's fist came down, shattering the table into splinters. The sounds of people eating and the sound of cooking in the kitchen suddenly grew deathly silent.

"Don't fuck with me." She growled.

Orochitama gave her a half-lidded stare before heaving a sigh and shaking her head.

"Was that really necessary? Please, act your age." The woman said chidingly. Not angry, not spiteful, but like when an authority figure saw a child do something foolish. As Tsunade built up steam to tell the woman where should could shove that attitude, her opponent stood up, walked up to the nearest server, leaving her back completely exposed to Tsunade if she wanted to attack.

"I'm so sorry about my friend. Can you please bring me a broom? And here-" the woman passed a wad of cash to the waitress, "for the damages. Again, I'm very sorry. Won't happen again."

Tsunade blinked. That wasn't how this was supposed to go. Forget Orochimaru, ninja didn't act this way. Sure, some ninja might come back and help with collateral damage, but they didn't do it in front of the enemy while giving them your back. Hell, you didn't even do stuff like that when your allies were feeling peeved at you.

Then she watched in shock as Orochitama sweep up the splinters from the destroyed table herself.

"If you are going to be rude, I suppose we can get down to business." The woman stated as she swept. "I have a member of the Kaguya Clan that is suffering from an autoimmune disease that his body attacking itself. I've been trying to treat it, but the source seems to be coming from somewhere in his marrow and I can't seem to find the issue. I want to hire you to save his life."

"The Kaguya Clan?" Tsunade asked in question. She'd heard of them. Fought a few of them even. Crazy bastards that never joined up with any of the ninja villages when all the clans came together to fight bigger more organized wars instead of the random free-for-all it had been previously. "I was pretty sure they had been wiped out."

"I saved one." The woman said, a soft smile on her face as she put down a dust pan and began to sweep the splinters into it.

"Yeah, I'm sure you saved him with the goodness of your heart."

"No. I did it for selfish and terrible reasons and he has served me well. I seek to repay that loyalty." The woman stated as she looked up from her sweeping. "The question is simply if you will help me to do that, because I fear I won't be able to save his life alone."

Why would she admit to that? Her whole presentation had been to act like some kind soul that above selfishness and violence. Turning the conversation on its head to admit to doing bad things seemed rather counterproductive to that. Then again, admitting to a wrong while sounding regretful was a great way to minimize people's perceptions of poor behavior.

Poor behavior was a bit of an understatement here.

"So what, you pay me money and I follow along someone I know is a liar into a location of your choosing while no one knows where I'm going and I can potentially disappear with no one the wiser?" Tsunade asked incredulously. "Hell, I'd probably take the money with me and you can just take it off my corpse costing you nothing."

Orochitama let out tittering of laughter as she maneuvered a new table to go between them.

"Please Tsunade, I can do many things, but even with all the preparation in the world we both know you would not go into the void quietly and without notice." The dark haired woman shook her head fondly. "But we don't have to go back to my place for this. Kimimaro can be moved to a location of your choosing, but we would have to be careful. He can't stay off life support long without his health diminishing greatly right now."

An autoimmune disease progressed that far? That was serious stuff. It was the kind of thing she could still help with too, since it would be unlikely for her to have to do anything with his blood. At least not anything she couldn't just assign Shizune to. On top of that, this woman was offering her the opportunity to just walk right in to one of her bases, or at least know a location very close to one. Someone that sick couldn't travel far and anywhere she went would be a damn good indicator of a hideout close by.

Plus the woman had already managed to track her down and then catch up. If the goal was an ambush, it would have been better to take her out without announcing her presence. Then again it could be that the woman would just kill her after she healed the subordinate so no information leaked. On the other hand-

God damnit, she hated this bullshit. She could go down that rabbit hole forever. Time to cut the chase.

"If I'm going to consider this, I need to know who you are." Tsunade stated, leaning forward.

"Oh my, I told you, I'm Orochitama." The woman stated airily.

"Stop with the double speak!" She snarled, "I need to make sure that I'm not helping some enemy that's going to just stab me in the back!"

The woman looked at her, an unreadable expression on her face as the two stared each other down. The atmosphere tense as they tried to find some hint at the other's intentions.

"Please don't break another table." Someone behind Tsunade asked before the brief sound of flesh being smacked sounded through the room.

That rather ruined the mood.

Orochitama laughed and shook her head. "I'm guessing that was the owner and his wife. Lets not ruin the day of all these nice employees and customers."

The woman reached into her cleavage and produced a small scroll before unrolling it on the table. Tsunade quickly identified it as a storage scroll as Orochitama unsealed it's contents.

"What?" Tsunade asked, blinking in surprise at the bottle. A very familiar bottle.

"Azure Hills Sake. As we always agreed." The woman said and held it out to her. Tsunade's eyes scanned over it and noticed the year on it. The same year that Orochimaru always gave her for the sake. The familiar bottle brought memories unbidden to her head. Late nights with just her and him and a microscope. Laughing over medical jokes that only a handful of people the world could understand enough even chuckle. Orochimaru coming by at her darkest moments and just sitting nearby, since he didn't know what else to do.

"I swear on the memory of my parents, that no harm will come to you on this job. I just want to save a life." The woman stated simply and sincerely.

Tsunade stopped herself from taking an intake of breath. That was a lot of evidence that this was Orochimaru, and if it was, that was as close as you could get to a statement you could trust. However, she didn't have any guarantees that this wasn't just a pile of bullshit. It was a risk no matter what she did. There was so much that hinted towards her being a fake but now there was much that showed her to be the real deal. She wasn't sure which one she she wanted to be dealing with either. She was stuck at a nexus and wasn't sure what to do.

So she decided to let fate decide.

"Play me for it." Tsunade stated.

"What?" Orochitama asked, coming up short and for the first time since their meeting seeming surprised.

"Play me for it. Poker. First one out of chips wins. You win, I do the job for the stated money. I win, I don't do the job and I get paid double." Tsunade stated, laying it out. It favored her greatly financially either way.

A brilliant smile crossed the woman's face. Like a teenage girl just asked by her friend if she wanted to go out on the town.

"Oh, that does sound like fun. You're on."

They had a bet, and no matter how it turned out, Tsunade was confident that she'd come out with a win. She might lose the game, but she knew poker players. When the game has something that really matters on the line, people reveal their true selves, parts of them that even family and lovers didn't really know.

She'd find out who this woman really was, one way or another.

Notes:

Once again a new chapter! Two this month! I'm fairly proud of this chapter, but we'll see how I feel on it when it's not 3 AM. As always, feel free to join my discord! Love to have more people there and have discussions!

Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I had no idea what made Tsunade decide to play a game of poker with me for help with a cure for Kimimaro's autoimmune disease, but I certainly wasn't going to pass it up. Especially since the woman herself won games of chance so little that she took winning as a sign on oncoming disaster. Was she counting on that for her victory? If she won she'd actually take it as a sign of something bad being about to happen and she should run for it? I couldn't say.

What I could say though was that I had no bad intentions towards her and the whole exchange would be nothing but advantageous for her. Even if she didn't truly have magic bad luck powers I was a decent hand at poker and had a major advantage. Tsunade tended to bet big on hands that weren't that great, while I could play it safe and win. So long as I kept at least a bit of chips back and never went all in, I could stay in the game until I won.

"So we going to do this here?" Tsunade asked, gesturing around us at the restaurant.

"Sure. Though try not to break any more of their tables." I chided as I pulled out scroll. In moments the scroll released a small pile of poker chips I had sealed in their earlier.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at me.

"I was coming after you. I had a fair bet that gambling would be involved somehow." I stated simply, to which Tsunade gave a shrug of acknowledgment.

"Alright, we're playing Hold Em'. No Jokers. Ace high." Tsunade stated as she pulled out an unopened deck of cards. "I'll deal the first hand."

"I think not." I stated swiftly. "We are ninja. Far too easy for us to cheat when dealing and shuffling."

Tsunade rolled her eyes and let out a sound of frustration, but did nothing further. A sign she conceded the point, but wanted me to provide the solution.

The man that shouted for us to not break any more tables caught my eye and in moments he found himself with a deck of cards in one hand, a ten thousand ryo in the other, and a general sense of bewilderment as he handed out the cards.

The first hand passed in near silence. Tsunade sat across from me staring with more intensity than the desert sun. I let her have her silent moment and picked up my two cards then looked at the table. The three card on the table didn't really do much for me, so I put a measly amount of chips into the center of the table. Tsunade copied a moment later. The chips clicking into the table seemed to almost echo in the room as all the other patrons tried to act as if they weren't staring in wonder at what was occurring. That is, if they hadn't already left due to a well used sense of self-preservation.

The pot stayed small as the next two cards went onto the tablew with a round of betting for each. I got two pairs across the both of them. Not the worst hand, but not great either. I stayed in for now. Tsunade was looking for something and she'd get the calm first hand she was looking for.

Finally, the hand ended, I won with two pair and Tsunade had nothing.

I took the measly amount of chips and put them to the side. The deck was shuffled again and everything was passed out again. But this time, I went on the attack.

"You know, I really don't understand how it is that you always have money problems." I stated as I glanced at my cards.

"Huh?" Tsunade asked in surprise.

"Your money problems with debtors." I stated simply, throwing in a handful of ryo. More than previously, but nothing substantial. "You gamble big, run up a tab, and disappear. Only keeping people off you by occasionally letting some rich person pay way too much for your services in order to get some of them off your back."

"I really don't need you preaching to me about bad choices." Tsunade shot back as she threw a hand full of chips into the pile, at least twice mine. "Raise."

I glanced at my hand. I had nothing now, but Tsunade might have nothing either. She did tend to bet aggressively even on nothing. The next card hit the table and I knew that it didn't really matter what the next card was. I wouldn't have better than a single pair.

"I'm not getting on to you about your bad choices. I'm actually saying you could do your bad choices better. There is no reason that you should ever pay for your drinks or gamble with your own money. Fold." I stated as I passed my cards to the dealer, who was still looking at us more nervously, but seemed to be getting into the dealing.

Tsunade scoffed. "And what? Bat my eyes at some guy and let him pay for everything? Please. I have more pride than that. Raise." She tossed in an even larger amount of money this time.

The next hand was passed out swiftly, and with a slight flourish. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I noticed a few people's tables had been scooted just a bit closer.

"I'm not asking you to lead anyone on Tsunade." I said with a dismissive wave. "If you just acted aloof you'd still never have to pay for a drink and men would pass you chips. You just have to turn down the aura of barely contained violence."

"Barely contained violence? Please." She stated dismissively. "I don't want to hear that coming from someone with your solution to orphans in war-torn regions. Raise." The woman put a hefty chunk of change into the center.

I didn't let my grimace reach my face. One of the bleaker moments in the war I remember advocating to kill starving children as a mercy, and smiling while I did it. Never mind that one of those times it probably WOULD have been better for the world for us to have just offed them.

I glanced at my hand. I had a straight if any of the next cards were a three or an eight. I matched Tsunade's bet. "Call. I'm a changed woman now though. I admit that I was a terrible person before, but that doesn't make my advice wrong."

"My life is perfectly fine. I'll keep on living it my way, you keep on being a liar and traitor." Tsunade said with stone cold seriousness. "Raise." She stated as she added chips to the table.

I couldn't hide my wince that time and hesitated. For me to really have anything I still needed a three or an eight. They wouldn't be the same suit, but I'd have a straight. Though a straight was a mid-tier hand. I decided to stay in for now. We were early on and I still had more chips than her. I match her bet. "Call. You are correct that I don't have much room to come in and tell you how to live your life, but I didn't intend it that way. I was just trying to give advice on how to...optimize your current lifestyle."

The next card was placed on the table. Eight of spades. I had my straight. Tsunade glanced at the cards on the table, shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a large handful of chips and threw it in. "How the hell do you know anything about my life? Even if you are Orochimaru, you haven't been a factor in my life for twenty fucking years. You don't even know me anymore." The woman said, staring me down. "Raise."

I winced. Both at the raise and at her words. Twenty years? Had it really been that long? I hadn't thought about how long it had been and it made this all just that much more awkward. A person changed a lot in twenty years. That was just the nature of being human. By all rights, she really could have moved past caring about her.

Then there was the hand. It was a random mish mash of cards. Nothing sequential and nothing repeating. It wasn't possible for her to have a better hand than I had currently. At best she had the same thing as me and it would just come down to suit. She was probably betting on nothing.

"Call." I answer back, throwing a matching amount into the pot. "A long time has passed. You aren't the same person anymore, but by that, couldn't you say that I've changed too?"

Tsunade lightly tapped the table, signifying to let the bet ride. I did the same. The last card was dealt. A ten of spades. The third spade on the table. It was possible that Tsunade now had a flush. One hand better than my straight. The question was if she bet this high on having absolutely nothing only for her to luck out at the last minute?

Tsunade tapped the table, letting the bet ride even as she spoke, "No. People don't really change who they are. They change the set dressing. They change some priorities, but who they are stays pretty much the same. I'm still a gambler. I'm still a drunk. I still have anger issues. Just like if you are Orochimaru, you'd still be a liar and a manipulator. If you aren't him, that still makes you a liar. Either way, that says I shouldn't trust you."

I sat there, plastic smile on my face as my mind raced for a response. I couldn't come up with one. I didn't know how to argue that other than just claim some people do change, but it rang hollow. Someone could change their ways, but it was hard. Changing who you are as a person, not just your habits, but your attitude, priorities, and personality, that took a lot of effort and rarely happened. I didn't know how to argue back without doing the equivalent of saying "Nuh uh."

I tapped the table, signifying that I let the bet ride as is.

I placed my cards on the table. She placed hers.

I winced as she she laughed and pulled the chips back towards herself. She had two spades in her hand and raised the pot up to that point with nothing to back it up, but at the last minute got the winning hand. Was that fate thing real? Was something bad about to happen to her or something?

Then I stopped and consider things. Tsunade was controlling the conversation. I was playing defensive. Since my Soul Searching Moment I'd never really lost a game of social fu. As I realized that it hit me why as well. I had grown used to people fearing me. Tsunade was wary of me, but she wasn't afraid, and I almost didn't know how to function without that easy leverage. For months I was wishing for someone that wouldn't be afraid of me, and now I had one it was screwing me over.

I also wasn't flirting either. It just didn't feel right and I doubted it would end well. The woman was still grieving her lost fiance more than two decades later and flirting would escalate her rage at me. The only other emotional leavers I could pull on were either already pulled, or sore spots that I'd feel like a ass to use.

This was why I didn't want to meet with my former teammates, damnit.

I shook it off and the next few hands passed with little consequence. Tsunade didn't bet big for the next three hands, but every single hand she played to the end, even when she had garbage and the odds at the table that I had something were strong. Though a time or two, she let me raise the bet and went along and had a decent hand without raising. She seemed to try to be unpredictable.

Attempts at talking were rebuffed or my character and motives were brought into question. Every trick that Orochimaru knew, aside from the really dickish ones, weren't going to work.

So I decided to throw out Orochimaru's playbook and use a play from the thirty year-old realtor and recovering addict.

"You're right you know." I state as we are both slid two cards and three are placed face up on the table. "My story is fishy. There are a lot of reasons that this all looks doubtful, but let me ask you something. If for some reason I were not Orochimaru, what would I have to gain to by pretending to be him?"

I check my cards. The queen of hearts and the queen of diamonds. The table had a jack of clubs, a ten of clubs, and a queen of spades. Sequential cards. The beginnings of strait. Though I already had three of a kind. A full house or four of a kind weren't unlikely either.

Tsunade looked at me in surprise at the sudden shift in demeaner and the odd question. Her brows furrowed as she considered the question.

"Raise." I state simply as I took a small hand-full of chips into the middle of the table.

"A quick death probably." Tsunade stated after a moment, throwing her own hand into the table. "Raise."

I threw in the chips to match. With a motion from both of us, the next card was placed down. The queen of clubs. All four ladies were accounted for. I had four of a kind. Third best hand in the game. At the same time, three cards for a straight flush were on the table. Straight flush and a royal flush were the only things that beat four of a kind.

"Ara ara, Tsunade, you should know more than that. Yes, the name Orochimaru brings many enemies, but it also brings respect. Caution. It's a name that you don't cross because it will come and kill you, your family, and house pet. It inspires caution out of sheer ruthless reputation. Raise." I say as I throw a small handful of chips to the pile.

Tsunade stared at me for a long moment. Calculating.

"Call." She states as she matches the bet. "So what? You have a fear fetish? You just decided to pretend to be my former teammate in order to feel important?"

"Oh no. I am your former teammate still." I said waiving my hand and throwing some hair, "We are speaking only of hypotheticals here. Now, if I were someone that has all of Orochimaru's knowledge but not his fearsome reputation, how long before enemies came out of the woodwork to take a shot now? That is a lot of secrets to silence after all."

"Cut the bullshit. What's your point? You're saying you aren't him but are using his name as a shield?" Tsunade pressed.

"That's one possibility," I stated simply, "Or it could be that in the process of trying to rise myself beyond the confines of my mere flesh I experimented on myself and in that process gained a new lease on life as my brain's chemical makeup changed, giving rise to new personality and new emotions. I don't throw away my former name and reputation, but do wish to rebrand based on what I feel is the new me."

"Or you could be full of shit and it's none of those things. This is just some manipulation I'm not seeing." Tsunade shot back.

The last card was placed on the table. A nine of spades. There were now four cards for a straight flush on the table. If Tsunade had a king of spades or an eight of spades, I'd be done. However, the likely hood she had one of those two cards out of the forty-five cards that I didn't know was small. My chances were damn good.

"True. Everything I said could be a lie. However, the real question here isn't who I am. The question this all is based on is if who you THINK I am is going to prevent you from saving someone's life." I stated firmly as I grabbed almost half my chips and put them in the middle of the table. "Raise."

Tsunade stared at me in consideration. The hostility there was gone. This wasn't combative. It was assessing. Then she seemed to come to a conclusion.

She swiped her arm on her side of the table and pushed ever single chip she had to the middle of the table. "All in." She announced in lieu of responding to me.

My eyes widened. My hand was good. It was damn good in fact. I had a solid chance of winning. Tsunade had a bit more in the pot than me, but the Sannin had always ruled when playing poker that one All In from one player was as good as another's regardless of chip count. It kept the game interesting and they had long served the tradition. I was a few short, but she'd accept my all in matching. But there remained the possibility of losing. I'd have to go all in to keep up too or fold. Bet it all on something solid, or fold to have an uphill climb to win the game?

But it wasn't just a game.

It might be to Tsunade, but for me, I was betting on a life. If Tsunade once again had the lucky card to pull out a victory, Kimimaro would probably die. Was his life worth the chance? Even if it was a fifteen percent chance?

No. This wasn't a mission. This wouldn't be a life spent for a gamble. It would be a life wasted for a gamble. I can go again until I can chip her down. If I have more than her and she goes All In, I can just match with money to spare. The All In being as good as another only really matters if you do it first. It was a rule to prevent people from winning just because they had the most money and they could make their hand not matter anymore.

I'd take the long road that a sure victory.

"Fold." I stated as I grabbed my cards and began to hand them back to the dealer to-

Tsunade's hand clamped onto my wrist and the cards were pulled from my hand. She held them up to her face, saw what I had, then gave me a look of smug satisfaction.

"That is quite against good etiquette to-"

"You're not him." She cut in confidently.

I came up short.

"He'd never pass up this bet for something he wanted. You aren't Orochimaru, and there isn't a damn thing you can say to convince me otherwise."

"Oh, come now, I said earlier that-" I started.

"Nope. I don't give a shit. You can put out all kinds of shit about experiments or religious experiences or whatever the hell you want. You aren't him in the ways that matter. Maybe you found his diary. Maybe he fucked something up bad enough that you got left behind. Maybe the gods decided this was funny. Doesn't matter. You're not him."

The air grew tense and I stared at her. She was entirely correct. It was also still inconvenient to me for people to know that for sure.

"Then I must ask, is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" I asked.

A smile crossed her face. "Doesn't really matter. You haven't won the game yet."

I let out a slow breath and leaned back in my chair.

"True. But suddenly, I feel very lucky." I said as I forced a smile on my face and tried to suppress the nervousness in my stomach.

It was a good thing that most all of my plans were already falling into place, but for the first time in months, someone knew. Someone could convince others that I wasn't so dangerous. That I was weak now and it was the opportune time to strike. They could also convince people that I wasn't so bad, and that an alliance wasn't likely to end with being stabbed in the back.

And I just wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Notes:

Well that chapter took more out of me than I expected. Though the hands involved were something I've spent months thinking on. That last one in particular. The enterprising reader can go back through and even see how the raises and calls match with the flow of their arguments too. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Chapter Text

Sabaku no Gaara was beginning to question existence. That strange woman had defeated him with a casual ease that even now, weeks later, made his blood run cold and his gut clench as he thought of her, and ever since then his world seemed strange and foreign. He sometimes wondered if he was still dreaming; after all, this level of clarity and ease of thought could only happen in a dream, right? His father and Baki had spent much time trying to convince him that he was truly awake, but he wasn't sure of their logic.

"Hey, um, Gaara. I got the tickets." Temari stated from a safe distance. Even still, she flinched as he turned towards her, a display of weakness that often angered him. The irritation making him want to have her die, suffocating on his sand before feeding her blood to Mother.

But the best the action could get from him now was an eye roll. It was the same for many other things. People would do the same annoying, useless, and pathetic things, but he found his irritation to them tempered. Another mark towards this all being a dream of some sort

His current location also led credence to his dream theory. The location had bright garish colors everywhere where music unlike any he'd ever heard before played in the background; or maybe he had heard it before and his sleeping mind just decided it hadn't heard it before? That might be a point towards this not being a dream, though the sweet puffy pink candy he ate gave a further marker to this being a dream. Such a thing didn't seem likely in reality.

"Do you see anything you want to do?" Temari asked tentatively.

Gaara looked at her again and she kept her flinch in check with visible effort. She was terrified of him, rightfully. So it didn't make sense.

"Why have you taken me here?" Gaara asked.

"I- I thought that you might...enjoy it?" Temari stated timidly.

"You thought I would enjoy being surrounded by people and loud noise?" Gaara asked.

"Well, maybe, now that you can sleep?"

Gaara blinked at her. Such an assertion should make him want to grind her into a fine paste for his mother and yet he remains calm. The statement didn't irritate him in the slightest and as he looked around he felt a mild curiosity at what the strange place might have in store. How curious.

"Gaara?" Temari asked.

"Very well. Then bring me some of that oddly shaped confection." Gaara stated as he noticed a very large man deep-frying some sort of batter and topping it with a vibrant red jelly of some kind. Blood perhaps? Mother would like that.

Though he didn't hear her anymore. The constant whispers all through the day had stopped. She didn't speak anymore and at first that had made him claw at his seal and try to remove that accursed woman's seal. His one companion. His one friend. His mother. The voice was gone and it had left him alone. However, he has come to...appreciate some of the silence. He would bring her voice back, eventually, but for now some alone time is...restful.

"Sure. I'll go get some for you." Temari said before walking towards the man handing out the food. In the meantime, Gaara's gaze turned towards the various stalls around him. Not all were selling food. Others seemed to have some kind of challenge set forth to people. In moments he realized the challenges came with a bounty on victory. Some handing out various stuffed animals, wooden kunai, and other such trinkets and toys.

One task seemed to be about getting small rings to land on glass bottles placed around the stall, with the occasional obstacle in the way. Another involved trying to scoop a goldfish of a small pool with only a thimble sized paper paddle to do so. All tasks that would be difficult for a young ninja, especially if not allowed to use obvious ninjutsu to cheat. This was, clearly, meant to be some sort of training exercise. There was even a stall over-

Oh.

A stall that had a game to bounce a ball through some hoops. The challenge was set up for two to be able to take on the task at once. There were five rings set up and the task appeared to be to get a single ball through all five hoops with a single throw by bouncing it off the various surfaces set up for the task. A simple concept though something caught his attention; the ball in question brought back memories. It looked just like the ones that the kids on his street used to play with. An odd feeling of sadness and wanting washed over him and he- he wanted one. The prize at the stall was even one of the balls! Gaara was powerful. He'd been turning jounin into food for Mother since he was six. This game should be nothing.

"Augh! Go through the stupid hoops damnit!" An obnoxious voice yelled from one of the current challengers to the game. Some blond child in orange that looked to be tearing at his hair. "One more go!" He said as he slapped money on the counter.

The loud blond had three people with him. A pink-haired girl and a dark-haired boy. The boy had one of the balls under his arm. The last was a willowy man with a slouch and some book out. The book's cover having some warning about being forbidden. A ninja walking in public displaying forbidden knowledge? The man was either foolish or powerful. Possibly both.

"Come on. We're going to the next stall." The dark-haired one sated.

"No way! I'm going to get this." The blond said.

"That's what you said last time."

"No, this time for real!"

"Leave him be. We'll just move on without him and he'll catch up when he wins or runs out of money." The jounin of the group stated.

Gaara approached the stand as they walked off.

"Welcome! Care to try your skill? A hundred ryo get's you three shot attempts! Get all three shots and you'll even win a special prize!" The man behind the counter stated.

A hundred ryo? That was quite cheap. This should prove easy.

"Here." Gaara stated as he threw a few coins onto the stand. In moments the man had handed him the balls and stepped back with one last statement.

"There you go! And no jutsu allowed to assist. If you use one you can't win a prize."

No jutsu? That meant no sand and...

Gaara paused. Had he ever actually thrown anything in his life? He could only recall using his sand. Still, it couldn't be that hard.

He threw his first ball and it went through the first hoop, bounced off the wall he wanted it to, but did so in the completely opposite direction from what he wanted. Gaara frowned and threw again. This one hit the first hoop and bounced away. The challenge appeared to be harder than he thought it would be. Still, he had more money he could use. So he threw again. Similar results to the first one.

Vexing.

He put more money on the counter.

"Hey Gaara, I got you the-"

"Silence." Gaara ordered, cutting his sister off. He had to concentrate.

He threw the ball again and...success! It went through two hoops this time. Progress was made.

"You have to watch the spin you put on it. It's going to be what helps you through the last few hoops." Temari commented as she looked at challenge.

She spoke despite him telling her to silence herself? That should anger him. Though the advice was helpful. After a moment, Gaara decides to not threaten her life for her misconduct. This time.

"It helps if you really yell when you throw it." The blond next to him said before winding back his arm and arching his back to put his whole body into the throw. "Like this. Hwah!"

The ball shot out from the boy's hands with great force and power. The ball also hit the counter directly in front of them and bounced back to smash into the blond's face with a loud crack.

Gaara blinked and felt an odd sensation. He felt a rush of warmth in his chest and his diaphragm gave a brief spasm, letting a sound escape his lips. What was that? Did he just-

"Gaara. Did you just...laugh?" Temari asked in shock.

Did he? Was that what that felt like?

"Hey! Don't laugh at me! I'll get this before you do!" The blond shouted and pointed an accusing finger.

This idiot? Get it before him?

"Doubtful." Gaara said as he turned back to his challenge. It shouldn't take that much longer.

xxxxxxx

"Listen. Guys. You've done it enough. I can just give you one if you want it that bad." The foolish stall worker said.

"No! I'm going to get this!" Naruto shouted before throwing more money on the counter. Meanwhile, Gaara ignored the man's false sympathies and focused. He had gotten the ball through all five hoops once, but the stall worker somehow managed to figure out he did so through manipulating the ball with some sand he put on it. The man was clearly a ninja of some ability.

He focused, took a breath, lined up his shot, and threw again. The ball bounced through one hoop, clipped the corner of a barrier and soared through the second hoop. Ricoceted off the tent pole. Clipped the corner of the third hoop and bounced it towards the fourth where it lost it's momentum just after going through and hitting the ground.

"Whoa!" The blond yelled before hopping up and down. "How did you do that one?! That was so close!"

He ignored the distraction.

"Again." Gaara said holding out a hand towards his sister for money.

"I can't. That's it. We're out." Gaara frowned.

"Why did we run out?" He demanded.

"You just spent ten-thousand ryo on this game Gaara! I didn't know we needed more money than that!" His sister responded.

Ten-thousand? Was that a lot of money for things like this? How much did a regular ball cost anyways?

"I'm about out of money too." The Konoha ninja he'd been competing said forlornly, looking into a frog-shaped wallet. Before reaching in, plucking out a handful of coins and then slamming them on the counter...in front of Gaara. "One last game! Whoever gets the most hoops will be the winner this time!"

Gaara's head snapped to the blond boy.

He was paying for him to try again? And game? This wasn't a challenge for ninja? This was some sort of game? He had been...playing with someone?

The clerk took the money and placed three balls again on the counter. Gaara raised a hand to pick one up and hesitated.

"Come on! We'll throw at the same time!" The boy said, grinning widely at him.

"Who are you?" Gaara asked suddenly.

The Konoha ninja seemed shocked for a moment, as if being asked to introduce himself was a foreign concept to him before answering. "Oh! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Remember it because I'm going to be Hokage!"

Was he? He couldn't imagine the loud and fairly stupid boy he'd been interacting with being in charge of another person, let alone a whole village. Still, he felt he should respond.

"Gaara." He stated back.

"Cool! So come on! On the count of three we'll throw!" The blond, Naruto, stated as he excitedly picked up one of his balls. "One. Two. Three!"

And then they both threw the ball. They...played together.

He had always wondered what that would be like.

"Hey, are you going to the show after this? There supposed to show Episode Five tonight!"

"Yeah. We have tickets. My name is Temari by the way. Thanks for asking." His sister groused.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I totally forgot you where there." Naruto said sheepishly, but brightened up. "Why don't you guys sit next to us for the show? Kakashi-sensei always picks great spots to sit."

"I don't know if that's-" Temari started.

"We accept." Gaara interrupted as he picked up one of the other balls. And gave an expecting look at Naruto. The boy gave a whiskered smile back. Then they played together. It was an odd feeling. When he was younger he built the idea up in his head quite a bit, but somehow he managed to do it without even noticing.

Peculiar.

It wasn't all that he thought it would be, though it was still... nice. He would continue it a bit longer. If he got bored later, he could always feed the blond to Mother. In the meantime he would give this a try.

xxxxxx

Shimura Danzo spent a lot of time waiting, however most ninja did waiting wrong. They treated it as a passive activity, when it was, in fact, an active one. You did not spend your time waiting doing nothing. You maneuvered yourself to an advantageous position. You prepared contingences. You remained unnoticed. That is the proper way for a ninja to wait, and Danzo was one of the best at waiting on the continent.

Thus, Danzo found himself once again waiting, his presence invisible from all but the most talented individuals and sat in the shadows waiting for the right time to reveal himself. Asset 2617, current alias Yakushi Kabuto, stood at the meeting point awaiting Danzo to appear to him. The meeting should have begun twenty minutes ago, but Danzo waited. A ninja's reaction to having to wait for an appointment told much about a person's character and current state of mind. Do they check for exits? Are they nervous? Does their breathing pick up when it sounds like someone else approaches? All these could be signs for betrayal or lying, and all you had to do was show up first and watch them for a while.

It was a helpful measure for gauging someone, but few ever practiced it anymore. He had thought that Hatake might be doing that with his frequent tardiness, but no, the Copy Ninja was just being petulant.

Kabuto had been trained too well though. He sat in the quiet garden and appeared for all the world like he was just there to enjoy the sunshine and smell the flowers and showed no sign that he was waiting for anyone at all. Exactly as he'd been trained to.

"Yakushi." Danzo stated as he stepped out, revealing himself. He had his Root secure the area in a moment's notice. They could speak somewhat freely here. When you had a Yamanaka and a Hyuuga in your service, it was rather difficult for anyone to sneak up on you. Danzo leisurely walked over to the bench Kabuto sat on and sat next to him. Close enough that the other ninja could feel his body heat. A power play to remind the spy of his place. "You have explaining to do."

"Oh? How so, Danzo-sama?" Kabuto asked, skipping any formality of greeting. Good.

"You had neglected to mention the changes in Orochimaru."

"But I did. I'm quite certain that I detailed out the turn into long term planning and a sudden increase on the value of human assets." Kabuto stated firmly.

"Not that. The complete change of gender and the use of seduction tactics." Danzo growled.

"I was at a crucial juncture for growing trust with Orochimaru. If I put that in a report I judged that you would believe I had gone crazy and recall me. I did not think it was such an important change that it needed to be immediately reported." Kabuto stated confidently.

The statement had merit. It seemed very reasonable, however Kabuto was trained to cover lies with reasonable statements. The only reason there was suspicion was the information received that Orochimaru had to resign his summoning contract. As it stood, he had no real way to know for certain why it was done; not without taking him in and searching his mind, which would take days to do well. Days that he wasn't sure he could afford to have Asset 2617 disappear for.

"What is Orochimaru's plan? What is the reason for the nonsense happening just outside our walls?" Danzo demanded.

"I'm not certain, but she told me to give a message to you." Kabuto answer again, keeping that same innocent look on his face.

She? Was that relevant? By all accounts, the current form did appear quite feminine. A change of pronouns based on the appearance was reasonable, though might be a hint of something deeper.

Orochimaru had a message for him? It should be expected though. The snake clearly had a plan and he so very much liked bragging about his plans.

"Speak."

Kabuto gave a slight bow of acknowledgment. "She told me to tell you that she plans to attack Konoha during the third stage of the Chunnin Exams in a coordinated attack with Hidden Sand in order to kill the Third Hokage." Kabuto stated calmly before seeming to ponder for a moment. An act for certain. "She also said I shouldn't try very hard to convince you that it's true."

Danzo's hand gripped his cane tighter. Orochimaru continued to an intensely irritating person. The plan even seemed in line with everything he knew about Orochimaru; he had father issues with Sarutobi, who seemed incapable if not giving said issues to every child he had a hand in raising. The information even lined up well the reports he got this morning about Suna moving many troops and weapons but no destination being apparent. Slipping them in with the normal traffic for the exam would be easy.

Was the stupidity taking place outside the walls just to distract as Suna prepared? It was possible. An intelligent strategy as well. The most basic trick in subterfuge in action; getting them to look at the left hand while the right was free to act. The source though? It wasn't likely to be that simple.

"Do you think he's telling the truth?" Danzo asked.

"I'm not certain. Though I do know she is preparing to do something big. There is too much moving at once for it to be anything minor." Kabuto replied.

Danzo tapped his cane on the ground in thought. There were many layers of potential deception before him. He wasn't even being subtle about it; just giving information to irritate and confuse. In such times, a ninja has to step back and look at the big picture.

Orochimaru intended to do something big. It could have nothing to do with Konoha at all. This could be some distraction to another plan. If he were to act against another village it wasn't really Danzo's problem. It might start a war, but Konoha wasn't in a bad position for one of those. He couldn't chase down every village and warn them of an attack. He would just prepare for opportunities to take advantage of the chaos.

The other option is that he did plan on attacking Konoha during the exams. Something not completely undesirable. The village had started to grow complacent. The younger generation feeling safe in it's walls. A small scale battle could do much to prepare them for the reality of war.

The pathetic skill of the average Sound ninja would also mean the village wouldn't be in real trouble. Particularly if he made sure that they kept Jiraiya in the area. The only real wild card possible was Orochimaru himself. The damage the rest of his village could cause would fall into acceptable loses.

"What further information do you have?" Danzo asked. Hopefully he could get some actually useful information from this meeting.

"I found some information in Orochimaru's quarters. I'm think it might have been left for me to find, but-" For the first time in the meeting, apprehension showed on Kabuto's face. "I must pass it on in a more secure way."

Oh? That was worrying. Danzo gave a nod and cast his gaze around, giving time for Kabuto to pull out a small piece of paper, write on it, and then pass it over to Danzo. It was written in a familiar code and it's contents was, indeed, quite valuable if it were true.

Akatsuki. Hidden leader. Hidden leader manipulated. Zetsu.

Danzo quickly burned the piece of paper.

Akatsuki had been something he had identified as a growing problem in the world, but one that was willing to work for him quietly if the price was right. He had been trying to figure out their command structure for a while, but this implied that even should he find the stated leader, he would need to find one behind him. Then, after that, the hidden leader was being manipulated by Zetsu.

If this information was true, it was valuable. Even if he didn't know all the people involved and he would have to uncover who this "Zetsu" is, but it might be a key towards bending the Akatsuki to his will. A worthwhile endeavor.

"Do you have anything else to add?" Danzo asked.

"Not that weren't in my reports, Danzo-sama." Kabuto stated.

He highly doubted that. No spy was worth their salt without keeping at least some information to themselves for a rainy day. Keeping a secret or two in your back pocket did wonders for negotiations, and Asset 2617 had gone through too many high value targets to not have picked up his fair share.

"Then go. Find out more of this plan. Ignore the Akatsuki for now."

"Yes, Danzo-sama." Kabuto said with a bow before disappearing.

Danzo stood and began a slow walk back to his office. He had to prepare. Things were in motion and the gleaming of war were on the horizon, and Danzo intended to be ready for the blade that was coming. There was uncertainty and a betrayal was imminent, but he would be prepared. He just needed to wait.

Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sakon didn't like the things happening in Oto, it was unnatural. Before, Otogakure was a beautiful example of embracing the reality of the world. It didn't hide behind the pretty words and comfortable lies of the world. It embraced the nature of the world. Kill or be killed. Eat or be eaten. The strong rule and the weak follow or die. It didn't pretend it was anything more than that. At least, it used to.

Things had changed. Orochimaru, or rather Orochitama, had changed. They now healed and coddled the weak. They were made to do useless things like paint or play an instrument. They were caging the inner beast that was pure, bloody, and beautiful. It was disgusting, and as time went on, the more sure Sakon was that the source of this new perversion wasn't Orochimaru. That this Orochitama was someone else entirely. An imposter. A test maybe. But he was growing to hate the bitch.

The snake woman seemed to sense his distaste for her. She had begun to give him and Ukon missions that took them away from her, and away from others. Missions supposedly important, but lacking in anything resembling what one of Orochimaru's personal body guards should do.

"Wait. She's strong. Wait." Ukon whispered, making him calm himself.

His brother could always calm him. The two were identical twins and their bloodline technique, made even more impressive by Orochimaru, allowed them to bond with another living thing and become one. Outside combat, it let them remain in synch. It let them watch each other's backs and be closer than anyone else could understand, since they two shared the same body most of the time. Sakon might be the one talking most of the time, but Ukon was usually the one making the decisions. He noticed more things as he quietly observed.

If he said wait, it was probably a good idea.

It could have been a good time to do damage to Orochitama, or at least this fantasy land of lies. Something happening to the new blonde woman's assistant could have caused a major incident. Perhaps even war. Though being able to do such a thing under the eyes of Tsunade and Orochitama was doubtful.

The blonde medic seemed dismissive of everyone and everything she came across, only paying attention to the medical paperwork that had been handed to her. Orochitama had apparently secured favor by winning some sort of bet, and they had made the incredibly questionable decision bring Tsunade and her assistant to one of their secondary bases.

"No promises. I'll have to look at him a while and try some things. I might also need you to get equipment for it." Tsunade said, having finally looked through the pages.

"Of course! You can have whatever you need, just say the word." Orochitama responded.

Sakon stayed a few steps behind, following the pair down the narrow hallways. He avoided seeming to pay too close of attention to what they were saying. Ukon though was shooting glances over at Tsunade's apprentice. He'd probably tell Sakon what he noticed later.

The assistant was giving him looks. Specifically at Ukon's head sticking out of the back of Sakon's neck. Though that was normal. Odd appendages tended to attract stares as both he and Kidomaru could attest. It was helpful. Made people drop their guard as they tried to comprehend what they were looking at.

Along the walk Orochitama made several attempts at small talk, though Tsunade seemed to barely reply. Not rudely, but in a way that made clear the person wasn't looking to be overly familiar. Sakon couldn't say if that was because she was looking through the medical papers or because she had some issue with Orochitama.

Probably the latter.

Their small procession took only a few moments to enter another room. A lab of some kind set up for medical purposes. All manner of seals and machines populated the room, all surrounding a bed where-

Him.

This was about fucking Kimimaro?

"Kimimaro-kun. This is Tsunade, an old teammate of mine. She's going to help me with your case. She might not look it, but she's probably the finest medical mind in the world currently." Orochitama stated.

"What the hell do you mean by 'I might not look it'?" Tsunade demanded.

Kimimaro. The previous leader of the Sound Four. The one whose job Sakon had managed to take. The one that became too weak and fell behind. This was all for his sake?

It grated and boiled his blood. After all his work. All his efforts. His position would be taken from him as soon as the bone bastard could function out of the hospital bed. The inane chatter back and forth between the women and the patient faded as the roar of emotion overwhelmed him and he struggled to remain stone faced in front of his enemies.

"I do have other business to attend to. Sakon-kun, Ukon-kun, if you'd follow me." Orochitama stated before leaving the two foreigners unsupervised in one of their bases. Stupid.

Ignoring the stupid decision to leave enemies unsupervised, Sakon, and thus his brother, followed after Orochitama as she left the room. The woman walked with purpose down the hallway, not glancing behind her to verify he was following her. One of the few things she did maintain from Orochimaru. She was confident.

"I have an appointment I need to get to. I leave you two to stay here. Your job is not to combat our guests. Just observe and report. Help them with their requests and see that they get everything they ask for." She commanded.

Sakon's eye twitched. He was, once again, a babysitter. His skills were being wasted, and they were being wasted on that fucking bone bastard. This assignment was bullshit and he-

His brother separated from him, making Sakon bow with him as he did so.

"We accept, Orochitama-sama." Ukon said.

Sakon couldn't muster anger at that. His brother rarely took initiative like this. He was usually content to have his body joined with Sakon and act as support. He stayed quiet at the action, despite the faint embers of betrayal he felt towards his brother in that moment. Though looking up at Orochitama, she didn't seem at all surprised at him speaking up.

"Thank you, Ukon-kun. I trust that you and Sakon-kun will take care of things here." Orochitama stated, before turning to go.

"How long is this farce going to go for?" Sakon snapped as she turned. He felt his brother flinch next to him, but he pressed forward. "All this bullshit about friendship and kindness. That's not the way the world fucking works. Any shinobi worth their salt knows that."

Orochitama stopped, facing away form him for a few more moments before turning to look at him with pity in her eyes. Fucking pity.

"Yes. This world currently works on fear, anger, and blood." Orochitama acknowledged, "But how will we ever change that if we don't act like it's not true?"

Sakon could hear is brother suck in a breath next to him. It was big words. Words that wanted to defy the world. Maybe there was something of Orochimaru still in there, if this was the level of aspiration she held. However, he couldn't stop the snarl that came to his face.

"And who says the world needs to fucking change?" Sakon growled.

"The world is always changing. It's the privilege of those with power to try and change it for the better." The woman stated.

Better? The lies? The posturing? Pretending that humans, and shinobi especially, are anything more than wild animals of bloodlust and death? Bullshit. It's not better. It just means people feed you bullshit more often and demands you call it roses. Though she was right. It was the privilege of the strong to dictate the future. They earned that right through steel and death. He felt himself quake in rage. He didn't get this far to have his view of the world destroyed. The hours sacrificed to grow stronger. The allies destroyed to get ahead. All to have his leader want to change the world from the beauty he had been driving it towards before.

"Sakon-kun." Orochitama stated sadly. "Don't be afraid to embrace new things just because of an attachment to old things."

She thought him afraid?!

"Thank you, Orochitama-sama, for speaking with us. You have a meeting to get to and we will be here when you return." Ukon stated.

Sakon glanced away, trying to calm himself. This wasn't a fight he could have right now. It wasn't a fight he could win.

Orochitama seemed to hesitate, before nodding. "You're right, Ukon-kun. We will discuss this later. I will be watching this project closely, so please make sure it goes well." The woman stated in way of farewell before vanishing down the hall, leaving Sakon and Ukon standing in the hall alone.

And separate.
xxxxxx

A part of me regretted not talking more with Sakon then, but I had much to do and the time to get it all done was beginning to unravel. Things were picking up and soon things would happen faster than I could respond. I just needed to be ready and have all my plans in place so that as things fell, I could get the objectives I aimed for. I quickly visited the Daimyos of the Land of Valleys and the Land of Mountains. I had spoken with multiple Daimyo and those were the two most receptive to my plan. I did need at least two and these were the most strategic, so it appeared that it would work.

It was generally a bit rude to go to the Daimyo before speaking with the leader of the Hidden Village, but this was the sort of thing I needed to check at the purse strings first for.

So, while I was in the Land of Valleys, I stopped for my delayed appointment with the leader of the Hidden Grass Village. Kusagakure no Sato was not exactly hidden, and more had an approach of defense similar to that of Suna. They were in a sea of grass that was kept well trimmed so that that no one could approach unnoticed, and to even get close to said large open space, one had to travel through bogs, swamps, and mosquitos that could felt like they could carry you away if they so desired. In short, any prolonged time near them tended to make for wet, grumpy, and probably sick ninja. It was their main defense.

Outside just being known for being insane and blood thirsty; but hey, I ran Oto, I could hardly throw stones.

I was once again in the disguise I had used when meeting with the leader of Hidden Waterfall. I didn't need to go announcing my presence. Not yet anyways.

"Inada-sama will see you now." The receptionist stated practically as soon as I had arrived. A very different tactic from Hidden Waterfall.

Unlike with Hidden Waterfall, the leader of Kusa's office wasn't a small house on the edge of town, but instead in the exact center of the village, in a tower six stories tall; not counting the many sublayers in the village, I personally knew of at least seven. Inada Rena, the leader of Hidden Grass, held her office in the top most floor. Though it looked to be less an office and more a mixture of library and hookah lounge.

Every wall had either a window or a bookshelf that stood at about four meters tall with each bookshelf filled with scrolls, books, knickknacks, weapons, and a few pairs of undergarments that couldn't all possibly belong to the same person. Blinds were drawn down across the windows, making the room dimly lit despite the bright time of day, even before the thin layer of smoke from the hookah filled the air. The room had a high vaulted ceiling on which various acts of violence and other carnal pleasures were painted. It made one wonder about the leader of the village, or perhaps it said more about the culture of the village itself.

"Welcome, Representative of Oto." A husky female voice said, scratchy in the way all long term smokers were. I turned to the voice to see a woman not at a desk but lounged back in what looked to my modern mind said was beanbag chair, but Orochimaru's mind insisted wasn't. It was overstuffed with cotton, but had a frame in there somewhere. The woman had silky black hair that was messed just enough to maintain an impression of just getting out of bed, a manufactured image as no one looks that good getting out of bed. Her green eyes that were half-hooded with mystery and she had a pale complexion that made her lips stand out in contrast. Lips painted the color of fresh blood. "Though Representative sounds so very formal for someone that's going to make me an offer I can't refuse."

I raised an eyebrow in question at her. She only gave a smirk fit for a blooded cat and puffed on her the pipe from the hookah stand near her seat before pursing her lips and blowing out the smoke like a kiss.

Something about the situation seemed familiar to me, but I didn't place my finger on it yet.

"Oh? Glad to hear you already find my offer alluring, but how could you possibly know that you can't refuse it if you don't know what it is yet?" I teased lightly as I went to sit down across from her, still covered by the traveling cloak and cloth headdress that blocked me from sight. A stark contrast to, presumably, Inada Rena, who sat with a button up shirt that was mostly unbuttoned and a long silky pair of pants hung lose on her except for very strategic locations.

"Well, from what I can see of your from under that cloak? I'd want to do anything you asked me to do." The woman said sensually.

Then it click. I knew exactly what she was doing.

My thing! She was doing my thing! The mysterious woman of mystery that unbalances you with blatant sexual advances was supposed to be my thing damnit!

Well, two could play at that game.

"Oh, well I don't care to mix business and pleasure, so we'll just assume I'll give you all the pleasure you can stand later and focus on the business for now." The woman's face briefly came out of the steamy smolder she'd been giving but it settled back into it near instantly. "What do you think I came here to offer, exactly?"

"Well, I had hoped for it to just be a good time, but I don't imagine that you offered that kind of distraction to Saito of Hidden Waterfall. The old man is far too stuck up for that." The woman said in a low laugh.

Hidden Waterfall? How did she-

Ah.

"I see that he made attempts to see what terms I was going to be offering you." I stated with lightly, as if his breech of security were no big deal and not at all something that could make the entire plan fall apart if the wrong people found out too soon. "I hope there wasn't too much gossip about what we were doing behind closed doors while no one was watching."

"Oh, I heard quite a bit about all the mischief you two got into, and was hoping to see about showing you a much better time here." Rena stated like she was making a joke before going to take a puff on her hookah.

"Well, I do ever so love to hear others speak of my indiscretions. Tell me what it was you heard, I insist." I say teasingly as I lean back and cross one leg over over the other.

There was a slight pause before she fanned herself with a laugh, making her shirt fall open just a bit more. Almost certainly on purpose.

"Don't ask for that, you'll make me blush." She responded, making me relax internally.

She had nothing. She just knew that I met with Saito in Hidden Waterfall and then came to meet her shortly after. Combined with Saito's sudden troop moments after I told him about Akatsuki, she just knew something was going on and was acting like she knew more in order to find information. A classic.

She could have been faking it though, to make it seem like that was all she knew. Unlikely, but I did have a way to check.

"Speaking of making you blush, do you mind if get a little more comfortable?" I said as I reached up to the clasp of my cloak.

"Please, I will greatly appreciate the-" the chair tipped over as Rena darted backwards and into a defensive position.

I placed my head-wrapping and cloak on the end table next to me, both neatly folded. She reacted to my appearance with fear. She didn't expect me to be Orochimaru or Orochitama.

"There, now that we-" I paused and looked her up and down, "at least I am more comfortable, why don't we talk candidly, hm?"

In moments I gave her a run down of what I wanted. The alliance and the promise to directly train a team of Kusa's choosing, and a vague mention of Hidden Waterfall's reservations but without stating the stipulation that they put in about my team doing well in the Chunin Exams. All the while Rena began to calm. She retook her seat and took on a serious expression.

"So if you were to join, you would-"

"Kusagakure no Sato accepts. We have no conditions." Rena stated as she took a far longer drag from her Hookah than I had seen yet.

I hadn't expected that.

"Oh? Agreeing that quickly won't grant you any-" I paused for effect, "special favors. Why agree so easily?"

"Hidden Waterfall is our closest competitor. Rice Country is between us, but your village is too new to take much business. If we do compete with another small village, it's Waterfall. Their jinchuriki has also been advancing lately. It will draw people in. If they join you and we don't then we will be left with few clients shortly after. Your deal can't be refused." The woman stated simply.

I didn't have an exact list of Kusa's clients, but what she said evident to anyone familiar with flow of missions between villages. With even a conditional yes from Waterfall, she couldn't afford to say no. Though I knew that before I even asked Waterfall. I just didn't know that she'd instantly know it.

"I feel a bit bad. I didn't mean to trap you here. This was intended in a spirit of cooperation." I stated sincerely.

"Pah, it's nothing. You have the incentive for us to agree and the power to make us regret saying no. It is the nature of the world that. Besides," she sated as she locked eyes with me and took a long drag of the hookah, "If you start taking this alliance in a direction I don't like or if you show weakness, I can just kill you in your sleep and bathe in the blood of your loved ones."

"That's it? Just agree for now and worry about killing me later? How very boring." I tutted.

"It is the nature of ninja. If the risk of killing you and getting rid of the benefit you bring is outweighed by the reward of killing you, then we will kill you. It is that simple. You offer a big carrot and carry a big stick, but if I grow tired of carrots and stop caring about the spankings with the stick, then I'll act."

I suddenly found myself wondering if she had the scorpion summon, but that was silly, I didn't summon frogs. I shook it off. I had other things to focus on.

"I would still like to discuss details to find out what I can best do to assist you and your village."

"I will have to speak with my captains for best possibilities there. In the meantime, I think that is enough business for one day." The woman said as she scooted forward in her chair, spreading her legs open wider. "Now, I do think you mentioned something about pleasure afterwards?"

I began to laugh until I realized she was serious. She was looking at me expectantly.

"Ara ara, I might be a bit old fashioned, but speaking of murdering me when I least expect it is a bit of a turn off for me." I stated as I collected my things.

"Pity." Rena said as she flopped back into her chair. "I always found it to be quite the turn on."

Now that is what I expected from the leader of Kusa. I put my disguise back on and began to make my way to the door before stopping.

"Oh, one last bit of business. Just some gossip, you understand." I stated lightly, "I've heard that Hidan the Reaper has joined up with quite the group of miscreants."

Rena didn't even bother to hide her interest. "Please, do tell me more."

Notes:

And that's the second chapter for this month done. This one gave me some trouble, but I managed to finish it in time. I do already know that next month is going to be hard for me to write the two chapters, but I'm damn sure gonna try. Still, I have a lot of things taking place next month business wise and my birthday is next month too. So yeah. But again, I'll do my best.

Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Mandatory vaccation time was a bane to Kakashi's existence. Technically, that wasn't exactly what was happening, as he was assigned to watch over his gennin as they explored the carnival and traied for the exams, but that's what it essentially was. For the rest of the time for the Chunin exams he wasn't supposed to so much darken the doors of the missions office and Sarutobi had made that abundantly clear in explicit detail. He hated it. It left him with too much time with thoughts and he struggled getting out of his his thoughts on the best of days.

Though no use complaining about it now. He was in the festival and he was watching after his cute little gennin.

"Come on. We're going to the next stall." Sasuke stated as his blond teammate sulked at the loss of a carnival game. One designed for ninjas.

"No way, I'm going to get this!" Naruto yelled back as he handed money over to the person manning the stall.

"That's what you said last time." Sasuke scoffed.

He was right, but he recognized the stubborn look in Naruto's eyes. He'd be here trying to play the game for a while. As amusing as it would be to watch the blond's frustration mount at repeated failures, there were several other things in the carnival that had been capturing his attention. The Sound Ninja had begun putting up tents to display artwork and small groups of them were touting to play new genres of music. He was intrigued. It might even have a clue as to why the ninja village was going through all this trouble.

Since it probably wasn't just to fuck with all of them...probably.

"Leave him be. We'll just move on and he'll catch up when he wins or runs out of money." Kakashi stated as he turned to walk away. There were many jounin around and he knew Jiraiya was keeping an eye out. He didn't need to be that close to Naruto right now. Just close enough to respond in a few seconds.

They turned and left Naruto behind, going off into the crowd. The carnival was an interesting experience. Whoever put it together put a lot of thought into how one might make such an event comfortable for ninja. Sound had guards posted, but they didn't keep them hidden, just badly disguised and they gave off an aura of "please try something, I'm so bored" which was something any ninja ever set to guard duty could understand. It didn't claim safety, it just let people know what they were dealing with.

They also made clear pathways where most of traffic was meant to go, but also gave plenty of places for someone to slip out from the crowd and break line of sight. The food was all prepared right in front of everyone with the chef eating the food themselves occasionally to show there was no poison. They even had pickpockets out in the crowd leaving slips in people's pockets for discounts on the food being sold. Jounin could always appreciate someone trolling their gennin. Kakashi had seen Naruto get eight slips so far and had to hide a giggle every time. Especially after Sasuke caught the second one trying to give him one and Naruto loudly bragging that he'd never let someone slip by him like that.

Naruto was adorable, if nothing else.

Then a sound caught Kakashi's attention. It was music, but unlike any he had heard before. He turned to look at where it was coming from in curiosity. A small stage had been set up where a group of Sound Ninja's were holding odd instruments. All of them various kinds of handheld stringed instruments with a long neck and wide base, however they all differed from each other in small ways to produce different sounds. The strings twanged fairly quickly, but the vocals to the music sang slow and seemed to hold notes for long moments. The song spoke of sadness and hardship.

"It sounds...weird." Sakura stated, brows furrowing. "It also also sounds like it's kind of whiny?"

"Well, he is talking about the sorrow of loss." Kakashi added before pausing. Did he...enjoy it?

"Let's just go." Sasuke stated, doing a good job of masking a look of discomfort on his face. For a gennin.

"Sure. We still have a lot of looking around to do." Kakashi replied kindly as he turned to walk away just as the song ended to a round of applause from the audience of mostly civilians and people pretending to be civilians.

"Thank you, that type of music was called Blue's Grass. You can get the instruments we play for it at the tent down a ways a bit." The dark-skinned man said gesturing down the way. "The next bit is called Flamenco and comes with a dance as well."

With that, several of the people left the stage and new people came up to the stage. Two of them dressed extravagantly with outfits that had lots of frills and bright colors. The sight stopped Sakura in her tracks. Sasuke continued to walk away and Kakashi began to call for Sakura to follow.

Then the music began. Fingers danced with an impressive speed on the guitar as notes staccato out of the instruments. Then the woman began to tap her shoes on the stage with a rapid cadence of clacks. Sasuke stopped in his tracks and turned to look at the stage in curiosity.

The dancers began to move. The swirled cloth swaying and making their dance mesmerizing. An impressive display of physical ability with a rapid pace to the music that made the heart speed up. An impressive innovation of song and dance.

It was unique, but not quite Kakashi's preference for music, though as he watched his two students it seemed to be very much theirs's, albeit for different reasons. Sakura's attention was rapt to the dancing couple on the stage. No surprise considering the almost sexual nature of the dance. The two seemed locked on to each other and would often entwine themselves as they danced. Grace, skill, and a dose of sexual was very much up Sakura's alley. Even if she tended to deny the last bit.

Sasuke on the other hand had his eyes locked to the fingers of the musician as they danced up and down the strings. An impressive display considering the instrument didn't have normal metal string. It was ninja wire that could cut a finger off with a wrong move.

"Didn't you guys want to go?" Kakashi asked, doing his best to sound genuine.

Sakura startled from her staring and opened and closed her moutha few times before turning to her crush, who didn't even glance back at her.

"We can stay just a bit longer." Sasuke admitted magnanimously and not at all petulantly. "For this one song."

"Sure. This one song." Kakashi agreed.

After they listened to five songs, one involving a strange brass instrument with a reed called Jazz that Kakashi found himself quite fond of, they finally made their way from the stage. The experience was odd and had Kakashi pondering on the purpose.

There were too much music happening here for it to not be a concentrated effort from the village for it's ninja's to not just practice music, but to innovate in it. To make new instruments and genres of music. Why? What purpose does it serve to put resources behind this? The play and everything else was enough to draw attention. Why all this other stuff?

Then he noticed another new tent. Inside were displays of art ranging from painting, to pottery, to sculptures. Again. Why? What was there to gain?

A particular statue caught his eyes. It sat on a pedestal and he registered it as looking like infant made of metal and swaddled in paper. White paper with...were those exploding tags?

Kakashi's pulse spiked as he studied it closer and then relaxed after looking closer.

"Kakashi-Sensei, are those exploding tags?" Sakura asked him, sinking into a protective stance, Sasuke tensing beside him at the same time.

"No." Kakashi reassured. "It's just scribbled nonsense."

The two relaxed, then Sakura got angry. "What the hell is the big idea anyways? Who puts fake explosive tags in a public area?!"

"Art types are usually a bit odd." Kakashi said comfortingly and was ignored.

Fake exploding tags was an odd choice unless they were just attempting to prank shinobi, which seemed rather against what they were trying to do with this this whole fair thing. Then he noticed the metal of the statue. The infant was made of kunai, shuriken, and senbon needles that had been bent and warped to make the appearance of an infant child wrapped in exploding tags. Poignant by itself but what really flummoxed Kakashi was the headband with no village symbol, but had a line through it.

It was politically charged for sure, but Kakashi couldn't decide it's meaning. Born a weapon and a traitor? The title of the work on the plaque only complicated matters.

"Reflection?" Sasuke read aloud.

Kakashi hummed in reply. Thinking it over.

"So reflect on the statue? Or that it's a reflection of something?" Sakura asked as she leaned in closer.

"Someone felt set up to fail? Feels the world betrayed them? Feels that traitors are born that way? That the world is made to create killers and traitors from infants?" Kakashi listed. "It could be any of them."

"Well that's all confusing." Sakura complained.

"I think..." Sasuke trailed off before speaking confidently, "I think that's the point."

Perhaps. After looking at it for a bit longer the trio reconnected with Naruto and went to their seats, plus some strangers Naruto brought along. The Suna nin were suspicious, but Kakashi was confident he could handle them before they did anything. Especially with so many jounin in disguise hanging around.

Besides, if Episode Five was anything like the previous play this would just be some good mindless fun with nothing particularly deep in it.

"So the last one had these Empire guys, right? They're bad and are blowing up planets and stuff. Oh, this is in space with aliens. Then then good guy founds his dad's laser sword-"

Kakashi took his seat as Naruto loudly yelled the explanation for the previous play as Kakashi settled in for a nice uncomplicated story about space samurai. A welcome rest after the experience in the fair. The big brassy music kicked off and the show about some people from long long ago in a galaxy far away began.

xxxxxxxx

"Orochitama-sama asked me to tell you this information and stressed the importance of you not spreading the information. You must make sure you don't tell anyone else, no matter what." Kabuto's voice sounded almost pleadingly. He was laying it on a bit thick, but history showed that Tatewaki responded better to overly dramatic displays than what the average ninja would consider normal.

"I swear, I won't tell a soul. Unlike some, I don't have divided loyalties." Tatewaki replied snidely.

Kabuto bowed in acknowledgement. Fighting him directly on anything didn't work. He was a typical narcissist and manipulation of him worked better when he thought you saw him almost as well as he saw himself. Besides, the man's words were rather dulled by the fact that he had absolutely no idea of Kabuto's double agent status. Well, triple. Or was it quadruple agent now?

"Of course. Your loyalty is laudable." Kabuto nodded. "Now, please do enjoy your time off in the village."

"I will. Spending time coordinating all the music and dealing with those-" he trailed off. Likely due to the fact that he was about to insult the students that Orochitama had assigned him for this mission before settling on the word, "gennin."

"Yes, your hard work is appreciated. This event wouldn't be possible without you." Kabuto answered.

Tatewaki turned and left with a sniff and an upturned nose.

"I hate that that's true." Kubto muttered as soon as the other man left earshot.

"Ara ara, don't say that, Kabuto-kun. Tatewaki-kun has many uses. I've never seen someone more talented with a supply log or spreadsheet." Orochitama said as she stepped out from the shade behind him.

"Then why did you wait to announce yourself until after he left?" Kabuto replied cheekily.

"That's fair." The woman responded gracefully. "Though I do have a good excuse if you must press the issue."

"Oh?"

"Yes, my presence could distract him from the task we need him to do." The woman tutted primly.

Kabuto gave a derisive snort. Humor often escaped Kabuto, but he found making fun of Tatewaki to quickly be something that put a bright spot in his day.

"Tatewaki has fallen for three honey traps to date. He didn't even realize that he had compromised anything for two of them and one of them was to a civilian woman that was just idly curious." Kabuto shook his head. "They'll get the information out of him. Just as planned."

"Perhaps." Orochitama acknowledged. "Likely even, but people will surprise you."

Kabuto didn't respond. It was a true enough statement, but people not acting how they should was always a pet peeve of his. It often got him almost killed.

"Still, telling him that you are having an affair with the Kazekage in order to manipulate him into attacking Leaf seems rather unlikely." Kabuto stated doubtfully.

"Yes, but it is the believable kind of unlikely. Like winning the lottery or a prostitute that says she loves you. It's just believable enough that you have to check for yourself."

Kabuto had long thought that Orochitama's need to sexualize things was just a manipulation tactic. While it almost certainly was, in relaxed moments she still did it. He suspected she just had a raunchy sense of humor.

"As you say, Orochitama-sama." Kabuto specifically gave no reaction.

"Oh, you're no fun anymore." Orochitama groused before continuing at her normal teasing speech. "So, how is Danzo responding to the information on Akatsuki?"

"He doesn't seem to have any plan to attack them. I suspect he plans on trying to manipulate them for his own purposes."

"Of course he is. I don't know why I hoped otherwise." Orochitama tutted like a disappointed schoolteacher. "Then keep an eye out for the special guest. I imagine we can expect him before we show off Episode Six."

Kabuto nodded. "Is there anything else, Orochitama-Sama?"

"Yes." The woman gushed, smiling with a sudden enthusiasm, "Why do you think I chose Star Wars as the play to show? You asked me before and I told you to look at the themes. I'm interested in what conclusions you came to."

Kabuto had been thinking about that ever since she asked. He read over the play several times. Watched it practiced for weeks. The more he watched, the more certain he was of his answer.

"The first play is fluff. It just introduces concepts to draw attention. No deep meaning. Then the second one hints at your deeper themes, mostly through the comments of Yoda but also hints that our greatest weaknesses are within ourselves. That as much as there are threats outside us, our greatest enemy is what lies within. Then with the third play it turns into a condemnation of hatred and fear. It makes the statement that the way to victory is through love, forgiveness, and friendship of those we would think lesser."

"Yes, that is much of the reason!" She praised, "You're beginning to understand how I think."
That made Kabuto feel...something. Someone was happy that he know how their mind worked while also being okay with the fact that he had the ability to weaponize that knowledge. He could think of any number of ways to hurt Orochitama or just manipulate her. He was confident now that he could do it.

But she was happy that he knew her well and he found he didn't really want to manipulate her. It felt humbling.

"Orochitama-sama." Kabuto stated, drawing her attention. "I've begun to hear whispers from contacts. People are doubting your identity on a larger scale. People are starting to move to find out who you are. They won't think of you as Orochimaru much longer. The façade is breaking."

Then, to his surprise, she smiled.

"I hope so. Soon. Just a little longer. I need them to keep their distance just till the end of the exams." Her voice sadly hopeful.

"Then let us hope that when Tatewaki leaks the information, they will find themselves suitably distracted."

"Yes. If he doesn't succeed..." Orochitama faded off before an eager grin came onto her face. "I'll have to escalate the situation."

The illusionary eyes of Uchiha Itachi's avatar opened and he saw the various other projected images of Akatsuki's members. He was the last to arrive, though that suited him fine. He didn't care for their recent stream of accusations against him. He didn't even particularly care for busty women. He didn't particularly care for women at all in that sense, but if he had to choose he'd go with someone more athletic looking. Not all that- that.

The jokes were annoying to begin with and hand only gotten more trying. With this meeting, hopefully new information could finally distract them from inane prattling.

"Zetsu. You called this meeting. What is it?" Pein demanded.

Zetsu called the meeting. Meaning information gathering. Espionage. Good. Something he could potentially use.

"Someone has been talking~!" Zetsu announced in a sing-song voice.

The spectral images shuffled in place, glancing at each other. Itachi kept his face passive and cool. As one should always do during the talks of a traitor being about.

"What has been spread?" Konan asked.

"We don't know the extent yet." The black side of Zetsu growled, while the white one continued on cheerily. "Sand, Waterfall, and Grass has started probing for information about us and about the status of a few of our members. They've also started asking about the location of all tailed beasts."

That was damning information. They kept their members identities concealed, but that and searching for their mission goals and their group? It left little doubt over what happened and more just concerns over how much.

"How did we find out?" Kakuza demanded.

"You know how it is. Minor villages. Terrible networks." Black Zetsu growled. "Either way. We know we have a traitor."

The group went silent and started seizing each other up. They all knew who was most likely to blame, but no one wanted to seem too eager to shift the blame either.

"Orochimaru." Pein stated to a round of head nods.

"We can't allow this. We are not ready to be known yet. What are we going to do about it?" Konan asked to the room, though her eyes were locked onto Pein. Not surprising. The woman ranged from apathetic to actively hostile to all members of the group aside from Pein.

"I was content to leave Orochimaru be so long as he did not challenge our mission. He is a threat not easily handled." Pein announced as pressure built in the room. "We can't let this go on. We must take care of the threat. Permanently."

Pein's eyes began to glance over them. Judging. He was deciding who to send on the job.

"I'll do it." Itachi offered. He regretted letting the mad snake get away before. He looked forward to the opportunity to finish the job.

"Yeah, I bet you do." Kakuza grumbled and Itachi froze.

Oh.

He was over eager.

"Trying to meet back up and see you're work, hm?" White Zetsu teased to a round of low chuckles.

This again?

Itachi shut of his projection in irritation. This was going to be a thing now. They weren't going to drop it even if he did kill her now. Vexing.

He stood and walked away, Kisame following. They walked in silence.

"You know, if you're just looking to get your dick wet, I can-"

"I will kill you." Itachi cut him off.

"Like you're going to kill your weird Orochi MILF mind puppet, or-"

Itachi sped off. He hated all of them.
xxxxx

Notes:

Chapter completed! This one gave me some trouble. I imagine the next one will too, but I intend to get it out to you. If for some reason I don't manage the second one this month, you all will get three next month. Just a busy month for me. Also, feel free to join the Discord!

/nn3wtdexfh

Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Jiraiya could hardly believe it, but Episode V was turning out to be even better than the last one. It was more mature and took turns that wasn't quite so cliché. The story had also seemed to grow darker and more introspective. Having to cut open a living thing and place a comrade inside it so that they had a chance to survive? Brutal and wild, while still seeming real enough to be something that could actually happen. That, followed by the heroes suffering the loss of a base and barely getting away by the skin of their teeth, led to something that felt more grounded in reality to many of the ninja watching.

Then, the play really threw him for a loop and introduced Yoda.

The small gremlin at first made him think that someone was making fun of Onoki. Small, petty, and sitting back not wanting to act. Seemed very much a reference to the second oldest living Kage. But then...

"Great warrior? Wars not make one great."

"Try not, do. Or do not. There is no try."

"Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter."

This Yoda was not a shinobi. Not a samurai. He didn't even really seem to be a warrior monk. He was more like a priest. Though perhaps the repentant warrior monk carving images of Buddha to atone would be more appropriate. It was a bold move. An unexpected move. It made him wonder if he really did know where the story was going.

"What's in there?"

"Only what you take with you."

The scene played out and had Jiraiya on the edge of his seat. Something was building to be in there, but Yoda had stated there was nothing in there and that he wouldn't need a weapon. However, the music was tense and something was amplifying the sounds of the actor's breathing as he entered into the cave. When he saw Vader walk out, he understood immediately. Vader was on another planet. It was an illusion. It wasn't real, probably something to humble the main character and-

Vader was struck down, the helmet cracked off and exposed...

Luke.

Why?

Jiraiya's mind whirled as he thought on it, glancing around at the crowd and seeing that, for the most part, no one seemed to give the moment much thought beyond a brief look of confusion. This was subtle, but a major statement. Was it because Luke brought his weapons? Be brought violence and war in with him and that's what he saw in turn? His enemy and him becoming the same?

Like the cycle of hatred of the ninja world.

Jiraiya mentally gave himself a shake. He often saw metaphor for the cycle of hatred where there wasn't any. Just because it was a subject he felt strongly about, he had to occasionally remind himself that most people didn't see it that way.

Regardless, that scene meant something and he wasn't sure what was but it made him pay closer attention. Look for deeper meaning. To look underneath the underneath and let himself become absorbed in the play as it continued to hit the regular beats. Comrades in danger. Leaving the training early to save them. The lovable rogue possibly dying as the love interest gives a tearful confession. Really common beats to hit. Good ones, for sure. Sticking to common tropes can still produce a good quality story.

Then Luke shows up, he's going to show off his training, though still struggling against Vader. The two exchange blows, but then Luke barely escapes with his life.

Losing the hand was a bold choice. Real consequence for not listening to-

"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

"No. I am your father."

A gasp went through the audience.

Luke's face went through turmoil as he screamed denials while the crowd watched in surprise. Making the villain a family member wasn't unheard of, but it was usually a brother or cousin. A father though? There was something to that. Was the vision in the cave just about his father? Was there a deeper meaning here? A condemnation of the times of the great clan wars? A provocation to

Jiraiya waited. Watching as his mind whirled and, with fanfare, the play ended. It ended with the heroes losing. Separated, injured, and dealt a mental blow.

The crowd all began to get up and leave. Chattering with one another excitedly about the play as the big brassy instruments played the main theme of the series. The various civilians and ninja talked excitedly as they left. Jiraiya though just sat. Sat and pondered.

"Didn't expect that." Kakashi stated to announce his presence. The Copy Ninja looking away from him as he stood in the aisle and leaned against the seats.

Jiraiya gave a hum of agreement; his mind whirling. "This isn't just about attracting customers. They are trying to send a message."

"Did you see the art outside?" Kakashi asked lightly as he gaze slid to his students, who appeared to be, once again, arguing while the very bemused red-headed Suna-nin stared on in bafflement. The red-head's sister just kept glancing worriedly at what Jiraiya was pretty sure was Suna's jinchuriki and son of the Yondamine Kazekage. Odd. He'd heard the kid was a homicidal sociopath.

"Art?" Jiraiya asked.

"They opened up stalls for displays of art and music. I'd suggest taking a look, but a lot of the art seems to have deeper meaning."

Yet more things to have a deeper meaning? If they were trying to say something, why would they muddle the waters by having such a large variety of things to look deeper into? It didn't make sense if the goal was to have a message communicated with the world.

Though it did make sense if the goal wasn't to communicate anything. If the goal was just to distract people and keep them chasing their tail in circles? One of the lesser used ways to combat information spread. Give so many leads that no one is sure what to follow. But why? Why is this little village trying so hard to do that? Why go through so much production value? They clearly cared about the art and that it was of good quality. What reason could someone have for caring about all that, but also have enough reason to keep Konoha distracted and off-balance?

No. That sort of train of thought lead to the same thing. It posed a contradiction that could have someone just loop on themselves infinitely. He needed to take a step back. Look at the method.

Then, he had an idea.

"Kakashi. If I were to bring up a ninja that hides their intent by throwing a bunch of very interesting things in-front of your face that all send a message of contradicting each other, who would be the first person that would come to mind?"

The brat turned to stare at him with a half lidded stare. "You."

Jiraiya gave a nod. That was his usual method. Give the razzle with the left, the dazzle with the right, and they miss the toad hopping away from his back. Most ninja's don't put on such a blatant display of shouting "look at this" when they are trying to hide things. At least not on so many levels. They tended to give one obvious thing and any number of subtle ones. This entire fair was so many layers of gambits being right in your face that the average ninja couldn't pull it off.

"Right. My method. Putting a story on stage, an art form I'm known to appreciate." Jiraiya was putting pieces together. Things were connecting. "And who is someone that knows all this about me and has recently begun hatching a plan against me specifically?"

"Uh-" Kakashi drew out.

"Orochimaru!" Jiraiya announced as he stood to his feet and threw off the illusion over himself. Revealing his identity for the first time inside the fairgrounds. His sudden appearance made the few foreign ninja in the area jolt before making themselves scarce, except for the two Suna-nin with Kakashi's team.

He mentally patted himself on the back for still having reputation enough to scare the shit of these two-bit ninjas before putting a thumb to his chest. "Don't you see Kakashi? My passions? Story, booze, and that new body? This has all been to target me!"

"They have booze?" Kakashi asked.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei? Whose the weirdo?" Naruto yelled.

Jiraiya's eye twitched but he ignored the brat for now. He was making a point!

"We know she just got the resources to put something like this together easily! She made contact with you and the kid. The only people that might have a connection to me. She even called me out specifically!"

And wasn't that a bit of Kakashi's report that had gotten him thinking. The specific act of requesting to speak with Naruto's godfather was an interesting play. One of the best ways to get to him emotionally. This was leading up to wanting to speak with him. To confront him. Fight him. Or pass on information to him. He wasn't sure, but it could be assumed that he was meant to be a key piece in this and he wasn't going to be moving around in quiet dancing to Orochimaru's tune.

"I hate to admit it, but you might be right." Kakashi's shoulders slumped. "From that point of view, a lot of this would appear to be targeted at you."

Jiraiya's face split into a smile.

"Or, this is just another level of illusion and you're missing something deeper."

"Ah, but you agree with me that this has something to do with Orochimaru!" Jiraiya said while pointing an accusing finger.

"I'm questioning it now, if this is what I sounded like." Kakashi stated as he brought his book up to his face and began walking. "Come on my cute little gennin. We have training tomorrow morning. Bright and early."

Jiraiya dismissed them. He felt like he was on to something. If this was the angle, he would need to prepare. He needed to train against this new strategy.

He ran off to a secluded area and prepared to do something he hadn't done since he was a teenager.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Jiraiya announced as a copy of him puffed into existence and he felt the drain on his chakra. The technique was also a chakra hog.

The copy of him look up, met his gaze with steely eyes and-

"Do I have to?" It whined.

It's more effective when the clone does it." Jiraiya said dismissively. Shadow clones returned memories to the user on popping, but it wasn't perfect. Some information was always lost. Little details didn't make it in. "Now, you know what he looks like. Get to it!"

He and the clone spent another moment glancing around to make sure no one could see them before getting down to work.

"Henge." The clone said morosely.

Jiraiya would be prepared for this challenge!

xxxxxx

Gazeru was not a well known ANBU, even by ANBU standards. Some had taken to calling her "The other purple-haired swordswoman." Which was not great. She wasn't as good as Uzuki Yugao with the sword and the name always brought that little aspect up and it irked her every single time.

Though it was probably better than being known for her other major skill set.

"You need to focus on getting information about the reason for the-" The Third sucked on his pipe for a moment, considering his words, "-the malarkey going on outside the walls and if it is a prelude to an attack. Of equal importance is finding out who the leader of Sound is. We have reason to believe that it is Orochimaru, or the new identity, Orochitama."

It was all in the briefing she read before the meeting, but having the Hokage verbally tell you what was most important in the mission was vital, particularly in missions like this.

"Here is your target." Hiruzen stated as he held up a picture of man with immaculately groomed hair confident eyes.

"Any secondary targets found?" Gazeru asked as she stared at the picture, taking in everything she could.

"Few of their ninja have been allowed to leave the carnival grounds." Sarutobi answered.

Gazeru nodded. If they were found plucking a foreign ninja from their own camp outside the walls during the Chunnin exams, there would be some very unhappy villages. Wars had started for less. The other villages might not care about Sound, but they would care that Konoha didn't provide the expected hospitality for the event. It wasn't so easy to pull a ninja in and question them before someone got suspicious. Either it would mean that they did something themselves, or they didn't protect their guests well enough.

It would be better to grab a ninja when they were returning home from the event. There was no obligation at that point.

"Why Tatewaki?" Gazeru asked.

"He has a history of slipping secrets to women. He also has a long history of not actually being able to hide his intentions. You'll be able to easily tell if he's trying to fool you or if he's hiding something." The Third answered and sat patiently as Gazeru looked over the mission once more to see if she had anything else that needed asking.

"I won't fail." Gazeru stated as she bowed her head. She knew enough. She wasn't one to brag about this particular skill, but she knew she was one of the best Konoha had for it. It was one of the lesser used paths for a kunoichi to take in the village and thus a lot of ninja's didn't expect Konoha of the practice.

After all, most Konoha kunoichi outright refused to be a honeypot.

Thus, Gazeru went out to preform her mission not in body armor, but in an evening gown. The dress was elegant but not elaborate. Her makeup noticeable, but not excessive. Her hair curled and styled, but with imperfections. The target was a narcissist and making her possibly look better than him could set him into a defensive mood. Her looks along with putting on a star struck personality that was free with compliments would probably make short work of the Sound Ninja.

She stepped outside and gave a nod to her team. The three ANBU quickly jumped to the rooves to shadow her and, most importantly, bail her out of the situation should she need it.

Gazeru took her time getting to the location, taking the long route and making sure that she didn't approach from the direction of any sort of government building. After a bit of walking, she entered the bar that her target, Tatewaki, had apparently gone into.

The man was by himself and flirting with the waitress that brought him his drink. Badly, going by the look on the woman's face.

Well, if nothing else, she could rescue the poor civilian.

"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?" She said with a slight hesitation in her words, but said it confidently.

Tatewaki looked at her up and down. Not the least bit disguising the way he ogled her curves and judged her like livestock at auction. His sharp features seeming to war between excitement and disappointment.

"Yes, I suppose you could sit with me. You are passingly beautiful and I have naught but myself for the night currently." The man said in a grandiose fashion more fit for a stage-play or the Daimyo's court than to a woman in a bar. "Tracked me down to laud me for my work on the music at the fair?"

He had something to do with music? Though she wasn't one to give up on an easy in like that.

"Yes!" She said as she sat down, a nervous smile gracing her face. "I heard that you were the brilliant mind that made that amazing music possible!"

The man gave a chuckle actually posed as if he were being painted. "But of course. I knew it was only a matter of time before my name began to spread. It was naught but notations on a page and disparate noise before my guiding hand brought it to the harmonic majesty that you witnessed."

So he directed it. Good to know.

"Wow!" She gushed. "I'm surprised that someone with your position of importance was allowed to come into town at such a time!"

Compliments that made him defensive were going to the bread and butter of this conversation. It kept him thinking positively of her, but also made him offer up information to justify he grandness. He couldn't leave the implication that he wasn't important enough to be necessary for the show to work that he could just let that-

"Yes. They noticed my immense contribution and realized that this brilliant mind needed a rest." The man said as he took a sip of his sake before a smirk crossed his lips, "And perhaps the company of a woman in my room."

"O-oh my!" She managed to cover her surprise with a tone of flattery. She hadn't quite expected him to be that forward.

"Yes, there are few things that inspire brilliance quite like the female form." The man continued as he seemed to gaze off into the middle distance.

"Wow. The inspiration for that music must really have been an amazing woman."

"Oh, she is." Tatewaki stated as he signaled for another drink from the waitress. The waitress came over and began to place the drink in front of Gazeru, but before she could, Tatewaki downed the rest of his current drink and took the new one from the waitress then very specifically did NOT pour any for Gazeru. "Her hair is like silk weaved from the night sky, and her bosom like- like big heaving- uh- mounds of perfection."

The inspiration had big tits and black hair. Noted.

"Well she sounds like quite the woman, especially if she gets so much admiration from a man like you." Gazeru stated shyly but with a hushed tone of awe.

"Mhm. She is." The man said with a smile, "You can scarcely compare, however being slightly above average still is something."

Her smile became brittle as her hand gripped the table in leu of actually having something to do with her hands that didn't involve strangling the man.

He was giving no indication of buying a drink for her. Hadn't asked for her name or anything about her. Had insulted her at least three times now in a manner that said she shouldn't be insulted because he was just stating facts. He was the single most abrasive man she'd ever met and she had seduced serial killers and warlords. The worst part being that it didn't seem to be any sort of act or trying to get a rise out of her. He gave none of the signs of someone hiding their emotions or intentions. The only pauses he had in speech were clearly to think up of some flowery metaphor and he started speaking before he finished deciding how he was going to say it.

It was fine. She was a professional. She could deal with a difficult personality.

"Despite your subpar chest size, you do seem to have a decent posterior. When we retire to my chambers, make that the favored end to face me." Tatewaki stated before taking another sip of his sake.

Notes:

Chapter done! You'll have two more chapters this month. That beginning part with the play was giving me a lot of trouble, but I managed to get past it! In other news, things are unraveling! People are now even taking the wrong pieces of the puzzle and still making the right(ish) picture. These next two chapters are probably the last bit of rising action before we reach the climax!

Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Shimura Danzo appreciated predictability for the same reasons he tried to avoid being predictable himself. It made one vulnerable when someone could decide what you were going to do and where your priorities would lie. He had been known to let some pieces be sacrificed that could have been saved just so that others couldn't truly see what he valued. It was the best way to keep enemies from striking at what truly mattered and kept them from thinking they understood you. If you understood something, you did not fear it.

Orochimaru though had always been predictable. Sure, his specific actions might not always have been predictable, but his goals? His methods? Transparent to anyone that knew him well enough. He was just skilled enough to use those methods in new ways and coming at his goals from unforeseen angles, but on the whole, you could get an idea of what the man wanted.

Until recently.

The whole...busty flirt thing was odd enough, but it could have just been a change in tactic, or some effect from a technique Itachi pulled on him. However, as time has gone on, the more it displayed that this Orochitama was not the same person. The fair, the art, the play, it was all things that Orochimaru would despise. Frivolity and petulance was how the Snake Sannin had described such things previously. To put all this effort, resources, and time into something like that?

Unthinkable for Orochimaru.

Thus, this Orochitama, she must be different significantly. He didn't know her. He didn't understand her, and she wielded too much power. He couldn't let such a wild card stand. It could disturb too much. She was exactly the sort of thing that might trigger another Shinobi war. A war Konoha wouldn't be ready for right now.

Thus his path became clear.

"Come on! There is only one more show! Everyone's talking about it! I'm the only kid that hasn't gotten to see it! We gotta go!" The mewling voice of Hiruzen's brat of a grandchild greeting him as he walked into the Hokage's office.

"I am certain it isn't all of them, and I'm afraid not. It's just too dangerous." Hiruzen rebuffed in a strained voice. "We can see about having another board game night though, I know how much-"

"Forget it then!" Konohamaru yelled before stopping out past Danzo, flinging the door open on it's way so it hit the wall with a loud bang and several scrolls fell from the shelves on the nearby wall.

Hiruzen sighed as he collapsed back in his chair and the weight of the world seemed to settle on his old comrade's shoulders.

"What do you want Danzo?" The voice sounded tired and strained.

Hiruzen would need to be replaced soon. The man didn't want to pass on the seat to someone else, but he was clearly slipping. He had hoped Orochimaru might be the solution to that problem, but that didn't seem to be working out. He'd have to settle with Hiruzen still. For now.

"I come to offer intelligence I have come across." Danzo stated before tossing a scroll towards the desk.

A blur intercepted it, materializing into the form of Saru, Sarutobi's youngest son, closest body guard, and pain in Danzo's ass. It had been much easier to manipulate Hiruzen before his son began to see personally to his safety.

It was a shame when competence was a deficiency.

"What sort of intelligence?" Hiruzen asked, suddenly in full alert while his son looked over the document.

"Proof that Orochimaru, or rather, Orochitama is the leader of Hidden Sound Village."

"You're certain?"

"Completely." Danzo answered as Hiruzen was handed the documents. Something he had long kept on the backburner if he ever needed to deal with Orochimaru. It didn't take much to adjust for current events and point at the target he wanted now. It took some creative editing to make it look like it wasn't something he had been sitting on for years, but it was doable. Additionally, he had long ago used Shisui's eye to make sure Hiruzen gave much weight to anything he said. He knew what would happen next.

A few more moments passed as Hiruzen looked over the information until a look of resolve came over him and he stood up.

"Summon the Department Heads. Get me Jiraiya. We have much to discuss." He ordered, and an ANBU disappeared to enforce his will.

"We will come up with a plan and take care of this threat." Danzo stated firmly. Hiruzen gave a firm nod of agreement.

Danzo kept his face blank as satisfaction came to him. It wouldn't take much maneuvering and pushing to get what he wanted here. They might not be able to just attacking Sound during the Chunin exams. Too many eyes from the other nations watching for weakness.

After though? When they were taking all those items back home and traveling? Well, whose to say what terrible things might befall them? After all, they were just a small village that was new. It had no allies to speak of. No one would really care if they were wiped off the map. Danzo highly doubted they'd get any sort of information in their investigations to the contrary.

Ninja didn't just jump right into alliances and it was doubtful they'd suddenly receive information that one the major hidden villages would be supporting Sound.

xxxxxx

"Wow, that's so amazing Tatewaki-sama." Gazeru gushed vapidly. She found that pretending to be an empty headed bimbo not only seemed to please the human shaped sack of excrement that was Tatewaki, it also seemed to raise no red flags to the man either. It bizarrely also seemed to make the conversation somehow more bearable. Probably because it felt like she was mocking him in her head.

"Please. Call me Tatewaki-dono." He said magnanimously, as if he hadn't just told her to refer to him as a higher form of address than most Kage's got.

By the Elements was this man insufferable.

"Wow, if you think that's best Tatewaki-san!" She gushed.

The man nodded his head as if he granted her a boon. "So, where was I?"

"You were talking about how totally awful the mean scientist was that was supposed to get you the instruments." She informed.

The man had started naming some names in the village they could do something with. Hibiki and a Kabuto. Common enough names and according to Tatewaki they were pretty low on the ladder, but it was possibly something the higher ups could do something with.

Still, it was getting closer to what she needed to know. Talking about higher ups and goals could seem a natural flow to the conversation. Considering how drunk and handsy he was getting, this probably wouldn't take too much longer. At least she hoped so. She didn't want to have to actually bed the man. He almost certainly was going to be bad at it.

"Oh, please don't remind me of their incompetence. It took days for them to make the prerequisite instruments for the musical piece. Equipping a proper symphony shouldn't have taken so much valuable time." The man said dramatically.

"Gosh, it must be hard having to deal with all those dumb people." Gazeru stated with a concerned look as she placed a hand on his thigh that slowly began to ease closer to his inner thigh. "I hope your bosses aren't as bad."

"Boss." Tatewaki corrected. "I have but one boss. A gorgeous creature that's like does not exist on this Earth. What's more, her brains almost matches her beauty. Truly, a more lovely creature I have not seen."

Progress! The leader of Sound was a woman. An attractive one with large breasts, if his previous comments were to be judged.

"Oh, she must be pretty great. I hope she sees how great you are." She said breathily.

"She has caught glimpse of my magnificence, though has not yet appreciated me for what I truly am. Though she will. In time. If she can avoid being distracted by her dalliance with-" The man cut himself off suddenly.

Oh. The leader of Sound was having a romantic tryst with someone? That was a leverage point that they could potentially use. Though she needed to make sure to not press too hard. It could raise suspicion. Then again...if she grew a bit more aggressive, he might share the information more freely if he though it would get him the bedroom activities he clearly expected to happen. She just needed to withhold it from him in a way that would make him want to pursue.

"Oh, are you jealous, Tatewaki-dono?" Gazeru asked tearfully.

"Me? Jealous? Hardly. The fool just has some temporary luck for political reasons. The heart shall find it's way to me."

Bingo.

"Her heart? Oh." Her hand came up to her mouth in shock. "You're in love Tatewaki-sama!? I'm so sorry." She stated tearfully as she suddenly stood up and began to back away. "I did not mean to do something that might serve as an obstacle between you and your love! I can't stand in your way. I'll just-"

"Wait!" Tatewaki said suddenly, "There is no need to apologize, for my heart has not felt a thing towards you. This is merely a meeting of purely carnal desire. My heart will not waver." He promised sincerely.

The fucker.

Irritation flooded her veins. He had said, with no guilt, that she was just going to be a bedwarmer for a night and he had absolutely no feelings towards her and just expected that to turn out well for him. She was beginning to suspect the man was a virgin, because there is no way he ever landed anything previously with this attitude. He ignored all social pretense of politeness. She'd seduced literally drug lords that treated their prostitutes better! Despite, or possibly because, she was trained for seduction his sheer lack of ability at it was breathtakingly infuriating.

"Are you sure? Your love sounds so pure, and I would hate to get in the way of your love in the same way that your bosses' current partner, um, what was his name again?"

She withheld a wince. That was clumsy. She'd let her feelings get to her.

"I shan't say! To expose the weakness of my Ivory Goddess would be-" The man stopped and his eyes narrowed. "You are trying to turn me against her. You intend to take information from me that would harm her!"

"No! I just was trying-"

"Silence wench!" He shouted as the bar grew deathly quiet. "I shall trust your poisoned words no longer! I know where my loyalties lie and you will play me for a fool no longer!"

Damn it. He was on to them. It was a foolish mistake, but it also wasn't something she expected Tatewaki to even notice.

"Now either fulfill your bargain to join me in coitus without uttering another word or be gone with you!"

Nope. No. This man did not just expect her to silently fuck him after he had stated he had no feelings for her and called her wench with poisoned words. She was a professional, but so was Chouza, and she'd seen him throw a man out of his restaurant for demanding a well done steak topped with peanut butter. Even a professional can only handle so much demeaning and humiliation.

Gazeru turned her nose up and walked away from the man. She had suffered enough humiliation tonight that she was beginning to rethink her position in ANBU.

"Good riddance! I would likely have received a disease anyways." The man scoffed behind her.

This man had a death wish.

She reached for the blade hidden at her inner thigh. Well, her job was to bring about men's wishes.

xxxxx
"I can't believe you would undercut my artistic integrity like this!" The angry Sound Ninja yelled at me. I was finding that while a Sound Scientist was difficult, a Sound Artist was apparently impossible.

"Wakana-kun, I greatly respect your piece. It's one of my favorites of the whole show, but we can't put an entire bundle of explosive tags in the middle of the fair and expect ninjas to actually show up. That's not even taking into account the risk of someone setting it off." I replied as kindly as I could manage.

"That's the whole point! I-" Wakana started to say before a disheveled and bleeding Tatewaki burst in.

"Orochitama-sama!"

"Tatewaki!" I exclaimed before rushing forward, a hand coated with chakra coming up to diagnose him. "What happened?"

"I was attacked by a spy! A cruel and venomous woman that approached me with mediocre beauty and honeyed words!" The man shouted.

Oh. Exactly what we wanted. Good. Though she must have been a rather clumsy seductress if Tatewaki managed to sniff her out.

"I'm just going to go fix my-"

"Wakana-kun. You are free to go. If you try to place exploding tags on your display you will find yourself missing a hand and your display will be removed." I said sweetly.

The artist gasped and held a hand to his chest. "Not my display!"

"Then you are excused for now. I have other business to attend to." I stated before turning to Tatewaki. "Tell me what happened exactly." I ordered as I continued to look at his injuries. A lot of scratches. Some lacerations. No poison besides alcohol. He got away fine. Though I'd need to have people be on alert to see if he was just cut loose so that others could track him back to me.

"I went out on the town to receive my just revelry when this harlot approached me claiming to want to bed me for my success with the music of this festival." The man stated confidently. I gave a simple nod. That all checked out, more or less. "I regaled her with my triumphs and the challenges that I overcame to complete the task. Then she began to speak of you. Asking for further information on who it was that could obtain the loyalty of such a pillar of brilliance as myself."

A smile tugged at my lips. "And what did you tell them?"

"Nothing!" The man responded happily and my heart sank. "I refused to give any information! I gave not your name, your habits, or your motives! I only gave exaltation to your beauty and intelligence! I put the spy in her place for asking that I betray you and she attacked me!"

He didn't leak the information. Shit.

It wasn't the end of the world, but making people think that we had an alliance with Sand was going to be a boost that we could have used. It also would have helped with convincing people that I actually did intend to attack Konoha.

"I did not wish to be attacked by the locals for participating in the fight, so I defended myself while retreating. Eventually the ANBU of Konoha apprehended the vile spy and carted her off after approximately ten minutes of defending myself. I must give them some acknowledgment. They must have rushed to the scene as they all seemed very out of breath."

The spy was almost certainly a Konoha ninja. The ANBU was probably trying to stop a diplomatic incident because the woman had gone off script, or they were trying to make sure that Tatewaki went back to where he was supposed to. Though it was worth noting that while Tatewaki was far from being what I'd call a decent fighter, there were very few people that could manage a defending retreat even half as well.

Still, it was unfortunate that he didn't let the information slip. Hopefully we wouldn't need to convince anyone we had the backing of a major village soon.

"Good job making it back Tatewaki." I stated sadly.

"But of course!" Tatawaki gave his best smile as I finished healing him.

"Go rest Tatewaki. I'm sure you could use it after your...ordeal."

Conflict warred on his face for a moment before giving a short bow. "I shall see your radiance on the morrow."

As soon as he left, I heaved a sigh and pinched at my sinuses. Moments later Kabuto walked in.

"I take it he managed to somehow fail at failing?" Kabuto ventured.

"Seems he's touchy about sharing information about me." I responded as I gave the medic a disapproving look. Considering his timing, he almost certainly waited to see Tatewaki leave before approaching.

He did not even pretend to look contrite for leaving me alone with the narcissist.

"I have unfortunate news as well."

"Did someone finally try to assault a customer?" I asked with dread.

"Surprisingly, no. It's something much worse." Kabuto stated, standing at full attention with an air of solemnity. I stood upright.

"Report."

"Danzo has issued orders to me that I am meant to find out your specific location and report on the best time and place to find you. He has also begun to send out Root agents to watch the roads leading away from the fair. I was also able to confirm that the Hokage called an emergency meeting with the department heads tonight."

Shit. Danzo wasn't going to sit by the side anymore.

"Do we have any idea what caused this?" Danzo had been content to just let Orochimaru do whatever he wanted previously. He'd even subtly pushed me to attack Konoha and kill Sarutobi-sensei previously. Well, not Orochitama me, but Orochimaru me. If he'd let me get away with all that stuff in the past, then what could possibly change his tune so much now?

"I can't say. Danzo doesn't share his reasonings, but I suspect it is because of the changes in your operation."

"What changes? Everything is mostly the same, as far as he's concerned." At least according to the doctored reports that Danzo had been receiving.

"To speak frankly, the fair itself is likely an issue." Kabuto stated bluntly.

"It was intended as a distraction and Danzo was meant to take it that way. It shouldn't have been enough for him to see an issue."

"Orochitama-sama. This fair took months of planning. Months of training, effort, and not an insignificant amount of money. If it were just a colorful distraction we could have done any number of other things. This is work of the heart and it shows. This is not something meant to be simply thrown away. This is not something Orochimaru would ever have done." Kabuto said as he watched me carefully.

The air grew tense before I gave a nod of acknowledgment. It was common now. Kabuto was trying to find the line between us. To see how blunt or disrespectful he could be before I would react, and most importantly, how straight forward he could be about saying that I am not Orochimaru.

"You're right. Orochimaru would never have done this." I acknowledge. I didn't have time for worrying about a back stab right now. Besides, everything was going to go quite quickly going forward. "What do you think their plan will be? Will he be brazen enough to attack us here?"

"I wouldn't put it past him, but the more likely plan is to have us ambushed on the way home. Everyone will assume it was Konoha anyways, so it would still get the acclaim even if no witnesses are left alive."

I gave grunt of acknowledgment. We needed a plan and if they were going to ambush us on the way home we couldn't be hauling all the stuff for the fair with us.

"The guest you have been waiting for has also still not arrived to any show yet." Kabuto added.

"He'll be here for the last show." I said with confidence I was beginning to lose.

"Very well. What are your orders?"

That was a damn good question. I didn't expect this to grow so hostile so fast. I needed something big to distract. They probably expected the fair to stay for the whole chunnin exams. I could use that.

My mind raced as I tried to put pieces together. I needed to get my people out, while simultaneously making everyone convinced that my plans lie here. It might not be enough. I needed something big. A show stopper. I needed-

"Kabuto. Get everyone prepped. The exams start in three days. Put out fliers that the day before the exams start we are having a big extravaganza. All prizes are doubled on that day too. Auctions for the artwork and instruments. Make a big deal that we are going to have a big interview with the writer of the show after Episode VI ends. From now until the show starts, have people subtly seal up any of the valuable equipment we can."

Kabuto's eye furrowed but gave a nod. "It will be done. Anything else?"

"Yes." I said as an evil smile began to grace my face. "I need a top-hat and a red coat."

After all. What was more distracting to the ninja of Konoha than me?

Notes:

That's a wrap! One more chapter due this month and I'm going to be pushing for it! Things are unraveling and the next few chapters decide if Tama's plans will stand or come tumbling down like a house of cards. Hope you all enjoyed it and look forward to the next chapter! As always, please feel free to join my Discord if you want to see me live write or just respond decently quickly to feedback.

Chapter 36: Chapter 36

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I had much to prepare for. We would be moving rapidly soon and I had to notify various parties of time table changes.

"Gurren. Tatewaki. Make sure you're somewhere in the village in a very public place when this goes down. With your teams. They will leave you alone long enough to compete in the hidden village, but keep an eye out. A few other parties make take advantage of things and injure you or your teams." I ordered.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Of course."

"Kabuto. Get a message off to Mei. Tell her to be ready to move." I continued. "Also give me an update on patrol patterns so that I can plant something in the village before we leave."

"Yes ma'am." The grey-haired man stated.

"Jirobo, have the flyers been made?"

"Yes! One side proclaiming the event tonight and the other posting a schedule for more shows, auctions, and events through to the last day of the Chunin Exams."

That was how much of the day went. Coordinating plans and overseeing adjustments all while making sure the sudden influx of ANBU and jounin at the fair didn't see me. It wasn't hard, but it was annoying. Even if I could disguise myself, I couldn't afford to seem too in charge of things. They couldn't get away with attacking Sound so publicly, but the could get away with attacking one of their Missing Nin.

"Make sure that everyone is rested. We have five hours till the show starts. Mandate a nap time if you have to. We can't have anyone going into this tired."

"Tayuya, keep an eye out still for the special guest. I cannot stress the importance of this job enough." I said as I gazed at the girl.

"Yeah, yeah. You got it." The redhead stated.

"I'm serious Tayuya. This is important." I said as I kept eye contact, my voice calm but with the tone needed to convey it's seriousness.

"Yeah. If he shows up, I'll see him." Tayuya promised.

I gave a nod. Her task was not one that would make everything fall apart if not done, but it was probably the most important of the tasks I handed out.

"Kidomaru, did we receive those letters from the Daimyo of Valley Country and Hill Country?" I asked.

"Yes ma'am!" He stated, standing at attention.

"Excellent! Send a response letter telling to them to announce tomorrow. And my outfit? Is it going to be done in time?"

"It'll be close, but I think I can get it done." The Spider Summoner promised, bringing a wicked grin to my face. I was looking forward to that. I had never gotten to cosplay before and this felt similar to that. Though maybe dressing up for a Ren Fair was more appropriate? Either way, I planned on making the outfit quite famous.

Maybe infamous. Time will tell.

"Great! We can do this. Lets just avoid any slip ups for now. Don't tell anyone else that there is a change of plans until near the end of the play. Slow trickle around then and have them leave en masse when I make my appearance. I'm going to try and get an ally to cover your exit."

The last few details were hammered out and we all took turns leaving the tent at random intervals as to avoid drawing attention.

"What if he doesn't show?" Kabuto asked.

"Then I'll have to find another way to get Danzo." I answered shortly. Not out of any irritation, just that it was the only real answer I had to the question. Danzo was clever and most plans I could enact had a high chance of the man escaping to fight another day, or worse, turn it around on me to make me look more guilty to Konoha.

"Very well. So we have planned for everything?"

"Unless a real curveball comes our way." I nodded, "Now, I'm off to kidnap a child to entice them for favor. Ciao!"

I got barely an eyeroll before disappearing. Kabuto was growing used to my innuendo and bizarre statements.

That was no fun.

xxxxxx

Gaara had to give one thing to Uzumaki Naruto. He made Gaara quite sure that he wasn't somehow hallucinating everything that was going on. Not out of any sort of comfort or anything, just that he was quite certain he could never imagine someone like the loud blond actually existing.

"Then Luke was all like psssh, vwoom vwoom, argh! And then Vader was all 'I know what happened to your dad!' and Luke was all like-" On and on the boy went, speaking to a rather bratty child that had run up to them earlier, completely ignoring Gaara as he did.

Which was fine, since Gaara was still trying to figure out how in the fuck the blond managed to get him to show up at this ramen stand and confront the bizarre feeling of not yet wanting to kill the Uzumaki despite honestly finding him quite annoying. He was annoying but something about his manner made the irritation disappear quickly? It was odd. Perhaps it was the way his eyes looked painfully familiar at the oddest moments.

"Then they flew off, barely alive, and the bad guys actually won! Kinda. They'll get em next time." Naruto finished as the starry-eyed child gazed up in wonder.

"Oh man! I have GOT to see that last one!" The child stated, practically vibrating in excitement.

"Then come. Easy. It's not like they're stopping people." Naruto replied before beginning to shovel ramen into his mouth.

"Grampa won't let! I keep asking him and he just wants to play stupid board games. I hate board games!"

Irritation flooded Gaara and he spoke before he even realized what he was saying. "Then go. Or do what he says and don't go. Stop wining about it or I'll kill you." Gaara stated, though without the general flood of killing intent that usually came with such a statement. Habit was the reason he said it mostly. He'd probably only maim the kid if he kept complaining.

Naruto gave a dramatic hum and held his chin in consideration for a few seconds before he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Seems pretty easy to me! You just sneak out and go anyways!"

Konohamaru's face flashed through several emotions. Doubt, sadness, anger, until finally it settled on mischief. "Yeah! I'll sneak out and meet you!"

As the two began planning, it dawned on Gaara that he was present for what was, effectively, a plot to kidnap the grandchild of a foreign power and it would probably be best for everyone if he were to just not be around.

"Thanks for the ramen." The words felt odd on his tongue. How long had it been since he'd said thanks in a tone other than malice?

"Bye! I'll see ya tomorrow!" The blond yelled before turning back to child.

Konoha was...odd.

The past few weeks have been emotionally challenging for Gaara. The voice in his head. His one companion. Was gone and he was beginning to think that the voice had nothing to do with his mother. After all, the voice was gone, but his sand still obeyed. His sand didn't thirst for blood. His mother's gift still protected him. Not only that he found interacting with people sometimes pleasant. He'd even had breakfast with both his siblings that morning and they only jumped away in fear one time. He was willing to accept that his life might be better now, even if he did owe it to-

"Ara ara! Is that a smile, Gaara-kun?"

Gaara froze and turned, his sand shifting minutely under his control. In the alley way, mostly hidden by shadow, a form leaned against the wall and slitted eyes gazed into his own. "You."

"Me!" The woman chirped.

His father had questioned him at length about his interaction with this woman. He gave warnings about her power and her manipulation and stated that if she ever were to attack him that he should run and let others die defending him.

His father had never said that before.

"Oh come now. No need to be so tense! I won't bite." The woman promised as she continued to just lean against the wall. Leaking no killing intent and taking the most non threatening posture one could take while still standing.

Yet he still found himself afraid; and curiously, in the same measure, happy to see her.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"A favor. Just a small thing. I only need you to summon a small non-lethal sandstorm when Episode VI ends. Shortly after the author of the play takes the stage."

"You want me to attack Konoha?" He asked. Because that's what it was. If he summoned a sandstorm on a location filled with Konoha ninja it'd be the same as attacking them. It would be regarded as an attack.

"Oh heavens no!" The woman said clutching at her chest. "I want you to create it on the other side of the fair grounds. Away from Konoha. It's for the Sound Ninja's to run away into. All within the bound of agreement I have with your father."

That...could work. It would be viewed as helping an ally rather than attacking. He didn't much personally care about the political situation going on, but being complained at by his father afterwards would be a pain. The question was, which would his father prefer he do?

"I see you're conflicted. That's fine. Bring it up to your jounin sensei if you need to. Do it or don't do it. I can handle things, but your assistance would make it smoother. I would appreciate your help if you are willing to give it."

"And if I don't agree?"

"Then I pout about it." Her eyes began to dampen and her lip briefly quivered before it morphed into a smile. "That's it. No repercussions. No threats. I'm just asking for you to do it as a favor."

A favor? Favors were for friends. Allies. Favors were things to be recalled at a later date. With a person of this woman's power? That was quite valuable indeed.

"I will think on it." Gaara stated simply.

"All that I can ask." She turned and began to walk deeper into the shadows, stopping only for a moment to say, "It's nice. Seeing you make friends and smile."

He opened his mouth to deny that he hadn't made any friends, but it died in his throat. He didn't think he had but he couldn't bring himself to say it for certain either.

"Goodnight, Gaara-kun. Pleasant dreams."

Then the woman was gone. Leaving him with him with questions and more emotion than he was really planning to deal with that night.

How irritating.

XXXXXX
"I'm here to watch you. I'm not a fucking servant." Sakon grumbled as he looked at the syringe being held out to him.

"Stop whining and just get it done." The blonde woman snapped at him as she held a hand over the spike of bone that Kimimaro had grown out of his leg at her request.

"Fine." He snapped the vial out of her hand. It was filled with a cloudy white liquid that she had gotten from the bone user's spine. He walked the three feet over to the Slug Sannin's assistant and placed the vial on the table next to her. The girl had several such vials in front of her and was alternating between picking one up with a glowing hand and jotting down some sort of notation on a piece of paper.

"Are you guys almost fucking done? Entire teams of medical personnel have been looking after the cripple here for years. I doubt-"

"Tsunade-sama!" The black haired bitch interrupted.

The woman stepped over and looked at the notations the girl was making with a critical eye before standing up straight.

"Ha! Got it!" The blonde woman rushed back to the patient and began to place small slips of paper on his body. A moment later she produced a brush and began to paint a seal on each paper.

"Huh? What did you get?"

"Did you find out the source of my illness?" Kimimaro spoke up as he retracted the bone he had sticking out back into his leg.

"Yeah, you're not sick." Tsunade said dismissively as she continued her work.

"I assure you, I am."

"What Tsunade-sama means is that you aren't suffering from a genetic defect, virus, or bacteria." Shizune stated as she too walked over to begin painting the seals on the bone user.

A cold feeling began to fall over Sakon and his mouth suddenly felt very dry. They found out? This fast?

"Then what is it?" Kimimaro asked in curiosity.

"You've been poisoned." Tsunade jabbed a finger into the bone-user's side. "Some foreign body got inside your bone marrow. Probably because you stick it out there for everyone to do who knows what

Sakon willed himself to remain calm. He'd managed to stay calm in the face of Orochimaru's anger before. This washed up has-been was nothing to fear. So what if she had some supposedly legendary medical skills? It was best to act as normal.

"You managed to get yourself poisoned without realizing it? So much for being Orochimaru's strongest." Sakon sneered.

"It was subtle." Tsunade continued her smooth brush strokes. "Something managed to get inside his bones. Something quite difficult with his bloodline. It was a foreign body of some sort. It's propagating in his marrow. The body can tell something's wrong there, but the poison is actually coming up as bone marrow of someone of his blood type. His body can't identify it as what's hurting him while at the same time it's fucking up his production of red blood cells. Whatever this is, it's damn impressive and subtle."

"I didn't think that was possible." Kimimaro stated, brows furrowed. "I've been sick for so long I can't think of a particular interaction that might have caused this to start."

"Doesn't matter. I'm about to purge it now. Then you just need some bedrest and a couple weeks of some iron heavy meals and you'll be right as rain and then I get to go back to drinking and pretending none of this ever happened."

"You'll still want to take it easy for at least three weeks. Light amounts of training will be okay, but nothing that leaves you feeling dizzy." The assistant piped up.

Sakon started to step back. His fear telling him to run. Telling him that they could figure out that it was him that poisoned Kimimaro. That he had been leaving a bit of his own bone marrow, suffused with his Cursed Seal Form's chakra, inside Kimimaro's bones. That he had been slowly and meticulously making sure that it was him that was the head of Orochimaru's guard. That it was him that was the strongest. That he had made Kimimaro weak so that he could take the position of the strong.

But he couldn't.

If he ran, there would be no rock he could hide under. He would be hunted down and killed and there would be nothing he could do about it.

His best play would be to stay and act like nothing happened. To act the same as he had the entire time they were there. So, he committed.

"Yeah, yeah. Very nice; you're curing the idiot. Hurry up and finish, I'm fucking starving." Sakon stated as he leaned against the wall and doing his level best to project an air of casualness.

The two women finished applying their seals. The Slug Sannin checked over the work. Then with just five minutes of work, they pronounced Kimimaro cured of the years of work Sakon had put in. They were also leaving notes in the medical files of how to identify the issue again. Then the blonde popped open a bottle of sake she had hidden on her while the assistant wrote down foods to avoid on a slip of paper.

Just like that.

"Alright. You're done. Now get the hell out." Sakon ordered.

"Don't need to tell me twice." Tsunade stated before walking out the door.

Sakon hesitated at the door. Looking back to see Kimimaro staring at his hands with a stupid far off look on his dumb face muttering "I'm cured? I'll live?"

Sakon turned away from him in a huff. He had shit to do and it'd probably be best if he didn't seem too interested in Kimimaro. For now.

"We shouldn't try again." Ukon whispered from his back.

"Yeah, we need to lay low for-"

"No. We won't do it again at all. Too suspicious. Things are changing. Orochitama doesn't handle infighting the same as Orochimaru. We won't try again."

Ukon was telling him? Ukon never decided plans. He advised. He asked. But he generally let Sakon decide how things would turn out. But this? He didn't say they shouldn't. He said they wouldn't. He wasn't asking. He was telling.

And that pissed him off.

"Fine! Whatever. We'll do it your fucking way." He yelled loudly.

"Problems?" The two up ahead turned to look at him at the yell.

"Nothing. Just keep going." He grumbled.

Tsunade didn't need to be told twice. Meanwhile, the assistant hovered around until Sakon caught up.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"None of you're fucking business." Sakon snapped.

"Oh." Here eyes dropped down and an awkward smile graced her face. "I wasn't actually talking to you. I was talking to you're brother. He...is your brother right?"

Sakon looked at her, mouth agape as his brother's head turned on his neck to look at the assistant.

"I'm fine. Arguments come with being siblings." He stated.

Ukon actually talked back? What the hell even was today?

One thing was for sure. It wasn't a fucking good day.

xxxxx

There were benefits to being partnered with Kisame. He stayed very professional in most every situation. He respected Itachi's personal space more than most. He kept good personal hygiene. However, there was one thing in particular that was immensely useful to Itachi.

"I wonder why they made the thing out of kunai and shuriken?" Kisame wondered aloud.

Kisame would often just note things aloud. Obvious observations usually, but quite often it was small things that were helpful to Itachi, what with his failing sight. The fish man's observation made it so Itachi didn't need to give an obvious squint at the sculpture to see its finer details. Advertising failing sight was a poor idea for a shinobi; particularly a shinobi as wanted as Uchiha Itachi.

Though Itachi did often question if Kisame noted the obvious aloud because he had noticed Itachi squinting, or if it was just in his personality. He couldn't say. The relationship between them was an odd one. They trusted one another in a fight but they also both knew that it was quite likely they would one day kill each other. They were both traitors after all, after a fashion.

"So do we just find someone that looks important and grab them? Or do you wanna grab food and watch the show first?" Kisame asked. "Might give us some idea what the hell Orochimaru is up to."

Itachi considered it. They were on the doorstep of his former village and it would ordinarily be reason for caution, however, Danzo had given him permission to be in the area and had mentioned he would run a little interference. Any Hyuga watching the area was probably Root. With that taken care of, he and Kisame could probably go unnoticed for quite some time. Itachi had long since mastered a subtle illusion that made it difficult for people to notice their presence, and only the most skilled jounin would notice something was off. And even if they did, there were numerous ninja from every village here.

It was a risk to spend time here, but it was a small one.

Ordinarily he'd be inclined to leave. To not take the risk. However, as he looked around, he came to the conclusion that there was much to be gained by staying. The fair was a trap, obviously, but the method and style of it was unique. How one laid a trap was one of the biggest indicators of priorities and mindset.

"We shall stay for a bit longer."

"Good! I was eyeing the liquor they have for sale. I've never seen some of the brands before." Kisame began walking towards one of said stalls.

This fair was quite the display. He would have written the whole thing off as someone doing random things for the sake of randomness. The artwork made him reconsider. This was someone's project. They were trying not just to say something, but gain something with the art, music and games. Distractions, for sure, but by itself it said something about the character of the person who put this together.

They understood fancy. They understood the appeal of something sweet being eaten while listening to new unknown music. They understood the temptation to play one more time and perhaps get the prize to impress the girl you were with. They understood the appeal of a stiff drink and a gripping story.

The number of people that understood and appreciated all that while still being a ninja of note? It was small. Itachi wouldn't think of it.

And neither would Orochimaru.

"Hey, have you seen this?" Kisame said on return, holding up a bottle filled with an amber liquid. Itachi couldn't make out the writing at a glance, but he did see the half dressed drawing of a woman on the label. "Jewel Tequila, apparently, it promises it'll make your clothes fall off."

Itachi stared at Kisame unamused. The downside of working with the swordsman was his sense of humor. When he wasn't laughing at brutally mauling someone he was laughing at toilet humor and sex jokes. The lowest forms of comedy.

"Aw, come on! Don't be like that. Especially since I got this so you can get your MILF snake to-"

Itachi glared and Kisame held his hands up in surrender. He was getting so very tired of that joke.

"Come. I have acquired tickets for us. We should secure a seat in the back." He intoned.

"Yeah. Sure. Do you want me to grab some of that stuff while you grab the seat?" The Mist Ninja stated, pointing to something advertising Fun Nel Cake.

"Why would-" Then he cut himself off as his nose caught the sent wafting from the stall. Of something deep-fried and covered with a sweet syrup. Chocolate and strawberry options he believed. "I will secure the food. You secure the seats."

"Heh. Fine, but bring me one." His partner walked towards the big top tent at a sedate pace. Flowing through the busy crowd with a subtle grace.

He and Kisame sat in silence after that. Just listening to the noise around them and watching for threats. Several ninja seemed to note their presence but made no move to identify them or interact with them. Most just moving themselves away. All the while, Itachi found his eyes continuing to drift back towards Sasuke.

He had no idea what to do to keep the boy safe. It was probably best for now that he make no contact since it seemed like he was functioning well with his team. He could see from his just sitting there that his brother had grown quite strong for a gennin. His rate of progress was satisfactory so long as Danzo wasn't pushing to move on the boy. He would just have to keep an eye on him while he was here so that Orochimaru didn't make an attempt at getting the sharigan an easier way.

Then, the play began with thunderous music and Sasuke sat up straight and his eyes glued to the stage, a look of restrained excitement on his face.

Perhaps the grief over this Orochitama nonsense was worth it after all.

xxxxx

Notes:

And that's chapter. Fuck this one took a while. I meant for this to be done on the 31st but just couldn't get it there. But, this is it. The last chapter before the climax begins. I hope you are all looking forward to it. XD

In other news, I have just started to cross post Best Offense, my Harry Potter story over on Royal Road. If you want, do give it a look there and leave a review. Also please feel free to join my Discord and talk about my works as well as a large variety of nerd topics.

/6GNJVaq5

Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tayuya scowled as yet another hour passed without Orochitama's special guest arriving. People were pouring into the fair in droves and it took all her concentration to check every single one of them from afar to make sure none of them were the one she was looking for. That's not even taking into account that most of the people coming in were ninja that were under illusions and practical disguises. It was annoying as fuck.

She'd already be giving it up if the Boss Lady hadn't made sure to-

Wait.

Was that the fucker?

She narrowed her eyes and saw the blonde kid from wave running in with with a short brown-haired child that bounced in place with a dumb look on his face.

It was exactly like the illusion that the Boss gave her. So, she made her approach.

"I told you it would work, Konohamaru! My Shadow Clone should be inside saving us a seat, so we just slip in right when the show starts and we're golden!"

"You're so smart Boss!" The kid gushed.

Ugh. Still. Neither kid had even the barest amounts of awareness as she approached. First she placed the the typical pamphlet into the blond's pocket that they tried to slip into everyone's pockets that gave coupons. Then she approached the other kid, in full view of every ninja watching and on alert, and slipped the package into his pocket before walking on her way. Not a single person seemed to react besides a few ninja's giving a chuckle.

Most experienced ninja's favorite part of the fair was watching all the chumps get reverse pickpocketed and they'd been trying to do it with almost everyone. Academy Students and Gennin in particular. All for this one moment and not a single person seemed to notice.

"At least we know one thing is going to go right." She muttered before moving on her way. She had a success to report.

xxxxx

I had to jinx myself; I wasn't sure when exactly I managed to do it, but clearly I did. I didn't see any other reason for Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame to pop in on my little side project here. They didn't seriously hunt Orochimaru in the original and I wasn't sure what changed enough for them to come. Something I changed caused this. Some information that they managed to-

Fuck, it was Danzo wasn't it?

Some information leaked to them that made them think I was a more pressing priority and Danzo was looking to get rid of me. One problem takes care of another. Seemed his style.

Though, as I watched, a second Naruto and Konohamaru walked in and a victorious smile came to my lips.

"Orochitama-sama. Mission accomplished." Tayuya stated as she approached and gave a slight bow.

My smile grew even more predatory. "Excellent job, Tayuya-chan. Help with the packing up and start slipping the people that you can out of the fair."

"Sure thing Boss Lady."

So what if Itachi and Kisame were here? Sure, it was doubtful if I could beat one of them, much less both at once, but I didn't need to. If Danzo could solve one problem with another problem, so could I. Now, there was just one more wild card.

"Now, where is Jiraiya?" I muttered, studying the crowd to no effect. Either he was being particularly sneaky, or he wasn't in the big top, even as the starting music began to play. He was a dangerous one to be off my radar right now, and more than that... "Darn. I thought he'd like Episode VI."

Still, I had to get dressed. I was going to make my debuted to the world and I had to be properly attired.

xxxx

Itachi had to admit that, if nothing else, the story was unique. Not that Itachi had particularly seen many plays, but he'd heard of a fair number of them. Shisui liked them and would talk about them often enough. The music was unique, if a bit loud for his tastes. Though many of the elements were familiar.

Infiltration of the enemy's stronghold with a three layered plan with two of those plans failing and the last desperate attempt being what gets everyone out alive as a cascade of errors ruins all your previous plans.

It was very relatable to any experienced ninja; such missions ended up happening eventually.

"You told me Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father."

Itachi sat up taller. The villain was the main character's father?

"So what I told you was true...from a certain point of view."

Kisame scoffed beside him. Itachi ignored for the moment as began to analyze what was being said closer.

"Luke you're going to find that many truths that we cling to depend greatly on your point of view." The actor said.

The basis of high end genjutsu. The thing that held most genjutsu users back was their thoughts that the art was but illusion existing only in the mind. But reality itself was subjective. Rare to see such insight put on display in mere entertainment.

Thus the play went on, with Itachi categorizing and filing away what was being said. Was this meant as some form of advice for ninja but put in a story form for easy digestion? He could already see the threads of committing one's duty being woven into the story. Luke did not wish to kill his father, but his duty bound him. He would need to for peace to come.

He tried to go about it in a way that was against his teacher's methods and found himself disarmed and before both the Emperor and his father. His kind heart got him into trouble, a lesson that came too late for many. Even as he was made to fight his father or die, he held back. He refrained.

"Yes. Your thoughts betray you. You're feelings for them are strong. Especially for...sister." Vader said with a low satisfied hiss.

And the fight changed. Luke went on the attack. To defend his friends and family. To defend the cause, he'd kill even-

"Never." Luke said as he stopped and threw away his weapon.

Itachi blinked in confusion. That...wasn't how this was supposed to go.

Then he watched, as Luke stood before the symbol of hatred and spoke of his mercy and forgiveness as a strength. How he had won just for refusing to take his father's life. That even if it would put his friends and sibling in danger, that he wouldn't resort to hatred.

Then, Luke suffered. Crackling lighting poured out from the Emperor's hands as he tortured Luke, making it clear that he would either submit to the Dark Side, or he'd die. But he stuck by his principles.

Then Itachi saw it. It was meant to point out the futility of such a gesture. Darker than he expected from the play, but it still fell in line with-

Vader seized the Emperor by the back of his neck, held the man over his head and threw him down a the nearby hole.

However, in the act of throwing him, the lighting arced into Vader. The devices that seemed to keep him alive began to release smoke and once menacing sound of his breaths came out as high pitched mechanical whines. Luke dragged his father away slowly, trying to save him. Desperate to get out in time and help the one that had caused so much pain. The man who was the villain, in his last moments, asked to see his son without the mask he put on that separated him from the rest of the world.

"I'll not leave you here! I have to save you!"

"You already have."

Itachi's heart clinched and he gave sharp intake of breath through his nose. Too much. A lapse in his composure.

The rest of the play blurred past. Celebrations. Small talk. Completion of the romance arc for two other characters. Inconsequential things. The meat of the matter already happened. The play promoted forgiveness. Love, not might, won the day.

Sasuke saw this. Would it influence him? Would he refuse to do what Itachi needed to have him do? The questions began to spiral in his head as he wondered how to address this, or even if he should. He questioned if all of this was meant for Itachi to see it and inspire these questions. Was this an attack against him and his plans? But how would Orochimaru know?

There were so many question, but the one he tried hardest to not think about kept returning to him.

Would things have turned out differently if he'd been honest and acted in love towards his father and refused Danzo's orders?
xxxx

Hatake Kakashi had to admit that, despite Naruto committing surprise treason by bringing Konohamaru here despite direct orders from the Hokage, this show, the whole series, had been quite enjoyable. The message was one that would resonate with his cute little Gennin. The fact that, on top of this, Orochitama was hanging around somewhere didn't even dull it that much. He agreed with the message this was putting out into the shinobi world and he had to question why the hell Orochitama of all people would be putting it out.

Unless...this was a call for forgiveness?

His mind raced as the play ended and, rather than all the actors coming out for a bow, the lights dimmed. A male voice announced "And now, the chance to speak with the creator of the series!"

The crowd muttered. A deep base drum beat thudded through the crowd.

*Thud*

*Thud Thud*

Distant strings picked up. Softly at first, but slowly becoming louder and louder.

*Thud*

*Thud Thud*

The tension built as a vocal choir built up along with the music now. Though, Kakashi noted, it was through the seals used as sound effects earlier rather than the live band, which seemed to make their exit. Naruto's friend, the Kazekage's son left too.

The sound of some large animal roaring built in with the music as it began to reach a crescendo. This was a real. This was something big.

No. She wouldn't.

In the heart of hundreds of enemy shinobi? On the doorstep to the village she was a traitor of?

The music came to a climax and abruptly cut off.

"Ara ara. What a fine audience we have tonight." A familiar voice purred.

Kakashi bolted upright and shifted to stand in front of his students.

"Is that-" Sasuke started.

"Why is she here?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

A single spotlight snapped on with a pop, illuminating the woman. The pale woman wore a vibrant red jacket decorated with an intricate golden pattern and a black trim. The jacket hung behind her with twin tails over her black trousers.

A top hat sat on her head at an angle, concealing her face, but he recognized her anyways.

"Ladies and gentleman. Boys and girls. Children of all ages!" She announced gleefully as all around the room ninja began to shoot to their feet and let out gasps of shock. "I hope you enjoyed the greatest show on Earth! I have a few things to say, so put a weapon in your hand if makes you feel more comfortable!"

All at once, hundreds of ninja held blades at the ready and pointed at the heart of the woman on stage. The woman's smile only grew wider.

"Heya Orochi Lady!" Naruto called out happily, if cautiously.

God damnit Naruto.

Orochitama, in response, winked at his blond knucklehead with her barely visible eyes. The embodiment of a stress induced ulcer then reached up to her head, grabbed the tip of the top hat.

"Now that the play has reached it's end, I welcomed you to the beginning." With a flourish she pulled the top hat off her head and proudly proclaimed, "The beginning of the end of the Shinobi World."

This wasn't good. This was something that built up to an attack. He didn't like where this was headed.

"Get Konohamaru out of here." He hissed to his team. "All of you."

"What? But it's just-"

"That's an order Naruto." He cut in. The blond looked conflicted, but he didn't fight it. Not surprising, he could sense how much the boy got upset the moment Orochitama declared the end of the Shinobi World.

The four left quickly and quietly while Kakashi gripped his kunai tight. The sad thing was, she probably could kill most of them by herself. Orochitama was just that strong. He could only hope the ninja with her weren't outside waiting to ambush his team as they left.

The snake woman on stage didn't seem to mind people leaving. Children, civilians, and many ninja that decided this was above their paygrade began rushing out of the tent.

Kakashi couldn't decide if her letting them leave was a good sign or a bad one.

"The Shinobi World has gone on too long in it's current state. Change is on the horizon and I plan to usher it in. Because if I don't, others will. Like Akatsuki plans to. Isn't that right, Uchiha Itachi?" She asked and Kakashi's blood ran cold.

The only thing he could comfort himself with was that Sasuke had already left.

Kakashi slowly turned to look behind him, as two figures at the back slowly came to rise. Their wide straw hats tilting up to reveal not just Uchiha Itachi, but Hoshigaki Kisame as well.

Three S-Classed ninjas. Here. At the same time.

"Orochimaru." Itachi intoned, "I don't know-"

"Orochitama now, actually, Itachi-kun." The woman corrected as she flipped the top hat and rolled it along her arm then bumped it with her shoulder to toss it up on top her head. "And, please, stay quiete for the moment. The adults are talking."

They were all going to die.

"Now, as I was saying-"

There was a blur and a tremendous crack sounded through the air as the giant form of Kisame was suddenly above Orochitama. The stage under the woman had cracked and a sword sticking out of her mouth was the only thing that stopped the massive weapon of Kisame from smashing into her.

The woman's mouth opened wider and she took the hilt of the sword into her hand as she commented, "That was rude."

"Heh, sorry. You seemed so happy to give the speech, I couldn't help but ruin it." The fish man stated smugly.

"No appreciation for art." The woman tutted before the sword in her hand suddenly extended rapidly, driving the former Mist ninja back and away until he punctured a hole in the tent and left sight.

The hole began to let in sand and the sounds of howling wind.

"Now, as I was-" Orochitama started, only for her to suddenly snap a hand to the side and catch the wrist of of an invisible form that slowly consolidated into Itachi. "Oh hush now darling. You'll want to hear what I have to say."

"About your nonsense on the end of the Shinobi World?" The terrifying teenager intoned.

"Exactly!" Orochitama said, clapping her hands together as she let go of his wrist as if she were an excited housewife. "I've put quite a few things in motion and I think you will all want at least one tinsy little hint on what to expect."

Itachi paused. An enemy offering intel was always valuable. Especially in regards to people like Orochimaru and Orochitama, who could have things happen for years after they die. Itachi didn't continue to attack.

"Thank you. Now! the first step to my plan will happen during the final stage of the Chunin Exams! A great time for it, I know. Keep a close eye on things and you'll see...quite the change in the political landscape of the Elemental Nations. Like Kage titles changing hands." She continued in a vapid and light tone. As if she hadn't just implied that she was going to kill a Kage. Considering the exam was at Konoha, probably the Hokage.

The room tensed. The various ninja of the different nations clearly not sure who they should be helping and who they should be attacking. Especially since, technically, she could have just been threatening any of their Kage as well.

Then, Kisame came back into the tent, hacking and coughing.

"I hate sand! It gets everywhere!" The swordsman groused as he wiped at the slits on his cheeks that looked rather like gills.

"And why shouldn't we cancel the exam? Or kick Sound out of it?" Kakashi surprised himself by saying. Though, the more he thought on it, the more sure he was that Orochitama didn't intend on doing anything. At least not here. Not now. This was distraction or a warning to something greater. He wasn't sure what yet, but the woman's sense of drama alone would make her wait to act.

"Oh don't do that, Kakashi-kun." The woman's lips pushed out in a pout. "That would be very upsetting to me. And you wouldn't want to upset me, would you?" She asked in a manner inappropriate for children to be present.

Thankfully, there weren't, though all the eyes in the room turned a questioning gaze at him.

Not this again!

"Regardless, I'm not sure why you are all so concerned about me, and not Itachi-kun's little club that plans on gathering all the tailed beasts of every nation into one giant weapon that all the nations together would not be able to oppose."

The room went silent except for the sound of of wind blustering outside.

"Well fuck," Kisame said scratching his head, "I didn't expect her to just say it."

She'd already mentioned it to him previously, so Kakashi wasn't particularly surprised, but to just say that right now?

She was trying to turn the crowd to seeing Akatsuki as the more pressing threat right after saying she intended to destroy the world. The gall was impressive.

"Now, Itachi-kun. You have two choices. You and your partner can fight me. I won't fight to win. I'll fight to tire you out. I'll fight to make you tired and weak after we are done. You can both certainly take me, but can you take me and then all the ninja around us ready to capitalize on your weakened state?" The woman added.

All the ninja exchanged glances in the room. Everyone not an S-Class ninja didn't particular care for that idea, but the opportunity to take down threats this big also couldn't be ignored.

"Then what do you propose?" The Uchiha intoned dryly.

"Simple! We both go our separate ways now, and kill each other another day. They'll chase us both and fail doing so. Simple!"

He hated that she was probably right.

Well, she'd be right were it not for one thing she didn't know yet.

Still, the room was tense as all the ninja present began doing the math. Began calculating who they planned to attack first when things went down.

"Kisame." Itachi stated, raising his voice and the seventeen year old made the whole room of killers flinch. "We're leaving."

"Kek. That's no fun." The Mist ninja stated, though he placed his sword on his back and the two began to walk towards the hole in the tent. "We'll have to dance later it seems, Snake Bitch."

"I'll get myself all ready for your biiiig sword next time." Orochitama practically moaned and Kisame stopped in his tracks.

"Huh." Was all the man said before resuming his stride.

When Kakahi shifted his gaze back to the stage, Orochitama was gone as well. The various ninja in the tent stood awkwardly for a few moments before slowly coming out of their ready stances. All of them processing what happened and coming to the realization that they had a shit ton of paper in their future.

Kakashi drooped in weariness as he realized that Sasuke would likely find out as well and he'd have to deal with that.

"Take a vacation Kakashi. You need to have a chance to relax Kakashi." He mocked under his breath. "Some vacation."

xxxxxx

Orochitama made a dash for it. Though not in a straight line, obviously. She ducked through the various stalls and hopped over walls in the fair as she made her escape before reaching the forest heading away from the village.

That went about as well as she could possibly have expected! Plus it gave her the chance to air some of Akatsuki's dirty laundry. An all around win in every category! She was lucky Itachi let her talk so much. Still, best not to stick around.

She took a little path she had discovered long ago and would use whenever she needed to slip away from Konoha to do...well the things that Orochimaru did. She'd never told anyone about it so the chances of someone-

The broad form of a man with a mop of stark white hair sailed through the air in a blur and I barely managed to pull myself out of the way as the ground cracked and shapnel flew through the air. A fist flew at my face and I dodged out of the way, only for a massive force to still smash into my face and send me tumbling through two trees. The Snake Skin Body broken apart as it's mouth opened and I stepped out it, unharmed.

Unharmed but very scared.

"Jiraiya-kun. Shima-chan. Fusaku-kun. What an unexpected surprise." I commented as I beheld the sight of Jiraiya with the two Toad Sage's on his shoulders and the lines and warts of his Sage Mode clear on his face.

"Orochimaru." The man growled. "I've seen through you're plans. You're not going to catch me by surprise."

Fear gripped me. A Jiraiya in sage mode was something I wasn't sure I could handle. Ever since I became...well, me, I hadn't fought anything like him. I'd very specifically made sure to avoid encountering people like him. Though there was a pressing question that did need to be asked.

"Jiraiya...what the fuck are you talking about?"
xxxxx

Notes:

And that's chapter. Hope you all enjoyed that. Still more to come and we still have lots of events going on. Tune in next time to see the fight and why Konohomaru was so important! If you want to discuss theories until then, feel free to drop by on my Discord and have a chat!

Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Chapter Text

"I am terribly sorry sir! I have no excuse for what happened. This is entirely my fault!" Ebisu stated as he bowed before the Third Hokage.

Sarutobi personally blamed himself. This was something he should have expected. Konohamaru had made it quite clear he wanted to go the play happening on the outskirts of town. Past experience should have clued him in to the fact that the boy would take matters into his own hands. Especially with Naruto nearby as well.

"It's not your-"

"Hokage-sama!" Saru spoke up suddenly. His son almost never spoke while on duty as one of his ANBU, and barley strained panic tightly wound in the words had Sarutobi stand to the ready. The quick movement made his joints complain before noting his son pointing behind him and out the window overlooking the village. "Look!"

Hiruzen turned and his heart tightened. There was a massive dome of whirling sand centered on the fair. Someone was making a move.

"Neko!" He called to another ANBU on guard, "Put out an alert for all ninja to ready themselves and stand ready. Buru! Make sure InoShikaCho is deployed out to the fair grounds immediately. Priority is to observe. No one attacks first, understood?"

The two came out of their hiding places and gave a brief bow before leaving.

"Ebisu, see to the civilians evacuating at the area closest to the fair. Spread the word on the way that other civilians should be ready to move as well." He ordered.

The man gave his own affirmation and disappeared.

Hiruzen looked out at the sand and deeply wished he could go there himself, but every ninja even remotly close would be there and standing at the ready. He needed to be here. To make sure that it wasn't a distraction for something else and they weren't going to attack the village. It was his first priority.
"Dad?" His son asked. His son had removed the ANBU mask and Hiruzen almost flinched; it seemed rare anymore to see his son's face. He kept his face clean shaven and had a nasty scar running from his jawline to just under his eye, and his face somehow still managed to look boyish. The request was clear on his face.

His son was in the storm and trouble. He wanted permission to leave his post and see to his son's safety first and foremost. Something the Hokage wasn't allowed to do.

"Go. Make sure he's okay." Hiruzen ordered.

His son left in an instant along side the sound of shattering glass; his son didn't have time to do things like open windows right now.

Good. He could focus on this crisis much better if he knew Konohamaru was looked after. His son was diligent and by the book. He saw to the smallest detail to the point that even Danzo sometimes complained that he was too thorough. He'd handle it.

Now, Hiruzen just had to make sure that today didn't mark the beginning of the next Shinobi War. Nor another monument to his student's mistakes.
xxxxxxx

(Flashback)

Jiraiya wanted to be mad at Orochimaru; ordinarily it was something really easy. For a twelve year old, the bastard had a very punchable face but apparently his pale teammate had his parents die on him and the supposed genius wasn't taking it so great. He'd often go visit the graves for a few hours at a time. Not the worst thing in the world, since it gave Jiraiya a chance to catch up while he didn't keep up his training.

Maybe Sarutobi-sensi would actually teach him some useful shit if he kept it up?

Still, the prolonged moping at the grave was starting to cut in to mission time, so he was sent to fetch his girly-boy teammate from his spot.

So, he crested the hill, came to his see his teammate's pale form outlined starkly from the background. Just staring at the graves with cold and somber expression of corpse and his eyes with all the fire of a dead and broken brazier.

It brought Jiraiya pause. Maybe he should handle this more gently? Personally, if it had been Jiraiya's parents he'd have pushed them in the nearest gutter and maybe held a party; but Orochimaru wasn't him. He didn't respond the same way to things and Orochimaru's parents hadn't been as shitty as his own so...maybe this was big for him?

"I- uh-" Jiraiya started but failed to find words as he approached and stood behind him. What was he supposed to say anyways?

"Hey, sorry your parents got the Shinigami Express, but we got shit to do?" Didn't seem to be the right stance here.

Then again, maybe Orochimaru wasn't that broken up? He hadn't seen the boy cry about the situation at all. Didn't seem to have any emotion about it whatsoever.

Though, that might have been the training? Proper shinobi didn't show emotion after all.

Well, Jiraiya called bullshit. Jiraiya straightened his spine and he grew more sure of his next words.

"Hey, Orochimaru, you're parents died and all. You know it's okay to cry? That's a big deal for-" He started.

"Cry!?" The boy hissed, whirling around like a spitting viper. "Like I'm just some toddler ripped from the teat of it's mother and can't cope with the absence?"

What the hell? He was trying to be nice!?

"Well yeah! Clearly it's bothering you and you're just standing up here staring in the distance like a creepy porcelain doll! Clearly it's bothering you! So, get it out of your system!"

"Doll? Get it out of my system!?" Genuine fury washed over his teammates face. The first emotion he'd seen on it for weeks. "Just because you cry at the slightest inconvenience and pain does not mean I am of the same level."

Oh, so making it out like he was the one with the emotional problems? Fuck this guy. "Fine! Stare off in the distance and obsess over this! See if I care! I'll tell Sensei that you're too busy being an asshole to show up for mission though." Jiraiya yelled before turning and marching away. Muttering curses under his breath and stomped back towards his team like a angry bull fighting it's way through muck all the way back to where his team was supposed to meet. His irritation lit up again as he saw Tsunade, Sensei, and-

"Ah, Jiraiya, that took a while. Orochimaru showed up while you were gone." Sarutobi-sensei stated simply while Orochimaru stood next to him with a bored look on his face.

Then the pale boy's lip twitched.

"You son of a bitch!" Jiraiya yelled as he leapt at his asshole of a teammate.

The situation wouldn't have been something Jiraiya would have even bothered to remember, he and Orochimaru fought often enough for them to blur together, but this particular moment resulted in a behavior change he noticed. Orochimaru wasn't ever late to team meeting again, and when Jiraiya went to go check the grave site again he found only dry shriveled and cracked flowers that had their vitality and life drained away by time and the heat of the unforgiving sun. The brittle plants had been there for weeks.

Orochimaru had stopped visiting his parent's grave. In fact, Jiraiya was certain that his snake of a teammate never visited the grave again, since the only flowers that were ever there were the ones that Jiraiya left when he visited and his teammate never once mentioned his parents again, even in passing.

So, Jiraiya took it upon himself to visit the graves. He wasn't sure why he did it. Most of the time he'd just show up and bitch about their son for a while, but he made sure to tell the tombs how their son was doing. He gave regular updates, until the last one.

"I'm sorry. I know you're dead, but I'm-" Jiraiya's voice cracked. "I tried to stop him. But your son..." He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair; hair he was tempted to pull at in frustration. "Your son is a traitor. He's done...awful things. I...this is going to be my last visit, but I thought you deserved to know. He's a traitor and I'm going to bring him back or-"

Should he say it to them? They were his parents? But, well, it's not like they could actually hear him. He didn't HAVE to say it. Still, something compelled him to continue. His fist's clenched and his gut felt like it was being pierced with a blade, but he said it.

"Or I'm going to kill him." He promised before placing the flowers on their graves; the last flowers he'd ever bring.

(End Flashback)

xxxxxx
"Jiraya...what the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, flummoxed.

"Huh?" Jiraya responded eloquently.

"Don't give me a 'huh.' You're the one who said it!"

"No. No mind games." Jiraiya stated as he again crouched lower, readying himself to attack. As he did, every tree, every rock, and even the air itself seemed to lean in towards him. A sense of anticipation flooded our area of forest and every beast of the land and air stilled in place. Breathing with Jiraiya and waiting along with the weight and power of the bundle of nature chakra flooding into my former teammate.

Such was the power of a sage. This was power. Power that Jiraiya hardly ever pulled out except for the most extreme threats to his life. The kind of raw power that would allow Jiraiya to stand up to damn near any ninja alive. Something he prepared for me specifically apparently.

I had no idea why.

"Listen, I'm not playing-"

Jiraiya moved. There was a wrenching and cracking in the air as the branch Jiraiya stood on turned to splinters and suddenly I had a spiraling ball of chakra shoved towards my head. I bent my body back as I brought a knee up his elbow. His arm was knocked off course and missed me, but the spiraling ball of energy snagged a few stray hairs that I felt get violently yanked from my head.

I wasn't out of danger yet. Jiraiya was in Sage mode. Being this close I was in danger. That's not even taking into account the two toads on his shoulder. Toads that were, by themselves, at the strength of jounin. I couldn't stand close to them, but I also couldn't run. Sage mode came with an unprecedented ability to sense chakra in the surrounding area and anywhere I ran or hid, he could find me.

Though being this close meant he'd likely be able to kill me with a single punch. If I got too much distance, Jiraiya would probably just pull a joint ninjutsu with the two toads on his shoulders and spew flaming oil fanned by wind chakra all over my general area. In a forest.

Sage mode was so fucking broken. Thankfully, I did have a plan for getting out of here already in place. I just needed to survive long enough for it.

I hooked by body around and swiveled my foot to connect with Jiraiya's back. It wasn't a strong hit and had him barely stumble, but it allowed me to push away from him into a leap that carried me over to another tree. The maneuver almost cost me my ankle though, as Fukasaku took a swing at it.

"Come now Jiraiya. This is our first meeting in so long. I think I deserve to know what I did to deserve sage mode coming out to play." I stated as I dipped behind a tree just in time for needles of hair to launch themselves at my position.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. You've been targeting me. This fair? That new form? It was made to distract me." Jiraiya stated as he leapt after me.

I blurred ahead as my hands flashed through symbols. The first ninjutsu I cast released a large burst of fire, but the fire gave off more light than heat, but boy that light was bright. It didn't conceal me, but it made Jiraiya flinch for just a moment. Long enough a burst of cutting wind to fly towards them. Just before the attack could hit, Shima released her own burst of wind chakra that smashed into my own and sent Jiraiya flying backwards, in response Fukasaku launched out his tongue and connected it to a tree. The three of them did a slingshot around the tree before knifing out towards me again, though I managed to gain some distance.

"Targeting you? What the hell are you on about!?" I yelled back behind me, without slowing. This was not a fight that favored me. Especially since I wasn't willing to kill Jiriaya.

A burst of fire screamed towards me and dozens of trees along it's path exploded as the sap in them superheated in an instant, leaving me to dodge both the fire and flaming splinters.

"Oh come on! The play? A new play in a unique setting never shown before? That used all the old tropes but in new and fresh ways? The message in the plays? The music? The booze sold there? Your new form? All of it things that would distract me specifically more than most." Jiraiya insisted as he launched himself high in the air and a rain of sharp spikes came down from his hair, punching deep into the wood in the surrounding area, minus a small bubble around me from a briefly conjured wind shield. "So I didn't fall for it! I skipped the grand finale. I figured that would be when you thought your distraction would be most distracting! I knew if you did something it would be then. So I didn't go. I waited for you to act and watched from outside the fair, and I was right!"

He waited outside the fair.

Wait a damn minute.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at Jiraiya with a glare.

Jiraiya slowed, staying on a half burnt tree opposite me and waiting. Leery of a trap.

"You didn't watch Episode VI!?" I demanded.

"Yeah, I avoided your trap and-"

"Fuck!" I yelled cutting him off. "That was the best one! There was so much in that you would have liked! They team up and rescue Han together. Luke is now all badass and a master Jedi. Leia dresses in a golden slave bikini."

"She does what now?" Jiraiya asked.

I ignored him and continued. "Then there was this whole thing about Luke letting go of his hate and anger and forgiving Vader. I really thought that you'd like-"

I stopped. Jiraiya stopped.

I chose Star Wars for many reasons. One of them was that I thought Jiraiya would like it. When I set up the alcohol and food available for the fair, I did make sure to include ones that I knew Jiraiya would like. More than once I'd let out an evil chuckle when thinking about how Jiraiya was handling the thought of me now being flirty and busty. All these steps, all along the way, I had considered what Jiraiya would like.

Because, like Kabuto had brought up, I have been trying to avoid my teammates. I didn't want to meet him. I didn't want to fight him. I didn't want him to try and kill me, to see the look of anger. To be looked at like a wild animal in need of being put down.

I didn't want any of my former teammates to see me in a way that Orochimaru deserved. So while all this wasn't about him specifically, but thinking on it I realized it was more about him than I had admitted to myself.

"Holy shit, I did do this to distract you."

"Wait, really?" Shima asked.

"Hey! You didn't believe me?" Jiraiya whined like a child.

"Well, Jiraiya-boy, you haven't always been exactly rational about Orochimaru." Fukasaku tried to appease.

"You get a little crazy sometimes." Shima added.

"Oi!" Jiraiya objected.

I payed them no mind. I was having my own private reexamining of priorities.

If I didn't think Jiraiya would have been coming, would I have done everything the same? I was quickly realizing that, no, I wouldn't have. The fair would have been more just a circus if I wasn't thinking about him. Konohamru would have been tempted out eventually. The public perception would have been just as effected. It would have accomplished all my goals, but been way easier to put together. All because, despite everything Orochimaru did, Jiraiya and Tsunade were the closest thing I had to a friend right now. Thinking about them and the good old times was a balm to my heart at several points.

So I put on a show that I knew he'd like to make him happy and to make him not look for me so hard while he was trying to kill me.

"I am so fucking creepy." I stare down at my hands.

"You're just now figuring that out?" Jiraiya mocked as he brought his hands into a ninjutsu.

"I clearly haven't been doing enough introspection." I admit while gathering my own chakra to act.

"Better do your introspection quickly." Shima stated.

"Reinforcements are on their way." Jiraiya added on. "Surrender. You can't run from me, and we'll have you surrounded soon."

Of course they were on the way. We were right on the damn village's doorstep and making a lot of noise. It was a race against time and my exit was clearly taking his fucking time.

"I would surrender, but you'd just kill me as soon as I did. I'm too dangerous to kept alive after all."

"You always were the smart one." Jiraiya launched himself at her once more and he brought fire, oil, and blades with him.
xxxxx

Sarutobi Tadaomi knew fear well; he was often afraid. He could imagine a thousand things going wrong over the course of a calm family breakfast. It didn't do a lot for his relationships, but it did make him very good at his job. He saw the angles and came up with as many ways to defend the Hokage as possible. He checked all the papers that came through the office, he trusted no one to be who they said they were, and he double checked any story someone gave. It's just who he was as a person.

Which is why he found Konohamaru maddening. The boy never seemed to give any thought to potential repercussions or how what he did could effect those around him. No matter how much he tried, his son never seemed to understand that things could go wrong. In part because Tadaomi had protected him, either as Dad, or as the ANBU Saru.

Now that was possibly going to get his son killed.

"Please. Be alive." He muttered as he ran through the gates of the village, not even bothering to speak to the people at the counter. An infraction he would ordinarily never dream of, but Konoha's rules of conduct gave permission for such behavior during times that lives were on the line. As per Article VI subsection a3.

The wind tugged at his clothes and the small particles of sand bit at his skin as he approached, but he paid it no mind. The sand wasn't moving strong enough to actually injure someone. It was a mere annoyance.

Though it could turn deadly at a moments notice. He would need to-

"Augh! It's in my mouth!" A voice yelled, followed by coughing and spitting.

"Then don't open your mouth, idiot." Came a muffled reply.

Four small forms emerged from the sandstorm. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and between them-

"Konohamaru!" Tadaomi stated as he knelt down next to his son and gave him a brief look over. He seemed fine, but a deeper check should be done in a more secure location.

He glanced up at the kids. The three had tussled hair and were absolutely covered in sand.

He recognized the three easily. The sheer number of times Naruto came into his father's office alone was reason enough for the Hokage's personal guard to recognize the coughing and spitting blond. Though his other two teammates had apparently covered their nose and mouth with a handkerchief.

Good to see the intelligence dynamic among them had not changed.

He turned his attention back to his son whose eyes had grown wide and teary. "Dad! You actually showed up!"

Tadaomi gave a sharp intake of breath. His son, among all that happened, found the most pressing thing to mention was that he had shown up.

He was not the father he should be, but he could make sure his son at least stayed alive.

"I am here, but we must get you all somewhere safe." He said as he picked up Konohamaru. The three gennin looked ready to fight him though. Seemed they were not fond of the idea of running away. Admirable. He'd rephrase. "Follow me. There is a guard station at the gate. We'll get you all there and get you orders on how to best help the ninja still in the combat zone."

The three looked reluctant still.

"Your mission isn't complete yet. You must come with to make sure Konohamaru gets to safety." He stated a bit more forcefully.

That seemed to work as they followed after him.

"Dad! You should have seen it! It was so cool! They had laser swords and spaceships and moving stuff with mind powers and-" Konohamaru gushed as Tadaomi covertly poked and prodded at his son, feeling for any injuries or breaks his son might have had, as well as checking for the tiny details to make sure that this was, in fact, his son. Everything was up to expectations until he got to son's pocket.

It had a slip. The kind that ANBU tended to use to get messages to one another. What was his son doing with one?

"Then this music started playing and this pale babe in a-"

"Sarutobi-sama!" The gate guard called out.

The five of them approached swiftly and with just a moment to check their identities, they were all let in to a back room before the gennin were assigned to start evacuating civilians. Tadaomi and his son were left alone in short order. He opened the piece of paper and began to try and decode it. The writing seemed vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn't place it. He ran through a few of the ciphers he could think of, trying to decode the message.

"If there's time after, do you want to try going to play some of the games? The sand might need some clean up first, but we might be able to play some of the stalls still." Konohamaru bounced in his seat.

"Konohamaru..." he trailed off, deciding on his words, "What's happening there right now means the fair isn't going to be open anymore. Bad stuff is happening."

"Oh." His son looked down and his lip pouted out.

Tadaomi went back to running through cyphers to decode the message as Konohamru fidgeted in his seat.

It wasn't the regular ANBU code. Nor the code used by the Hokage's guard. Nor did it seem to be what was used by the department heads. Maybe it was-

"So like...maybe we can go for dinner after this? If everything turns out okay." Konohamaru stated.

A flash of irritation ran through Tadaomi, but he withheld it. Konohamaru didn't understand. He didn't know how this wasn't the time ask stuff like this. Snapping at him wouldn't do any good, the boy was just trying to spend time with him.

"Okay Konohamaru. Probably not tonight. I'll be very busy, but how about I wake you up early and we head out for breakfast tomorrow?"

His son's face lit up. "Sure!"

A smile brushed at his lips. His family is what made his life worth while.

His family. Hold on.

He checked the code with the cypher his father used for their family messages. The cypher only known to three people outside the Sarutobi clan, and it worked. It worked and as he read his face drained of color.

"Dad? What's wrong?"

Tadomi found he couldn't even begin to explain.

xxxxxx

Chapter 39: Chapter 39

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hatake Kakashi spent exactly fifteen seconds deciding what to do after Orochitama left the tent; practically an eternity for him, but the situation was delicate. Ultimately, he came to the conclusion that the most pressing concern was handling whoever was causing the sand storm outside. Finding the culprit wasn't difficult, considering he knew exactly who was doing it.

"Gaara-san. I think it would be best if you stopped that." Kakashi announced lightly, causing the boy to jerk around to look at him. Meaning he snuck up on him. Kakashi mentally noted that he couldn't use the sand to sense people in a wide range.

"If I stop, the Sound Ninja will be able to coordinate better. Me continuing would be in Konoha's best interest." Gaara intoned in a dead voice; one more flat than what he had heard previously, which meant the kid was probably lying.

"Oh? And what would make you assist Konoha with this matter?" Kakahsi asked lightly.

"We are allies, are we not?" The corner of Gaara's mouth quirked up ever so slightly.

Cheeky brat.

"Well, as a Konoha Jounin, it is my judgment that this is impeding more than helping. Drop it, unless you wish for that alliance to get a bit troubled." Kakashi continued in his same lazy tone.

The red-head stood motionless as the sand continued to whirl through the air and bite at any exposed skin. He didn't think that a threat would make the boy back down, it was probably better to attack him with overwhelming force all at once. You don't give jinchuriki a chance to start channeling their beast; not if you valued your life anyway. Still, attacking the son of the Kazekage was going to cause a shit-show no matter how it went down, but leaving the village blind in this area was only asking for trouble. Anything could be hiding in the sandstorm right now and he couldn't just let it go. He'd have to go through a child to do it, but he would.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Kakashi gave an internal sigh and began preparing something to take the boy down when a thought occurred. Naruto had seemed to be friendly with the kid and that was something he could use. Diplomacy had never been his strongest point but he'd seen some great examples of it as of late.

"Gaara-san. Please. Naruto doesn't have many friends, and I'd hate to make you an enemy."

The Suna-nin flinched as if he'd slapped him and then, moments later, the sand in the air began falling to the ground and Kakashi found himself giving a sigh of relief. He had the blood of enough kids on his hands.

"Hatake-san!" A familiar voice called and the forms of the Ino-Shika-Cho team rapidly approached. "Status." The scarred visage of Shikaku ordered.

"Unharmed. Person of interest..." Kakashi hesitated. Gaara wasn't officially a prisoner, though saying he was an ally wasn't accurate either. He was in a grey area of typical field status. Finally he settled on an answer. "Person of interest being a typical Suna ally."

Choza gave a short laugh, but quickly spoke with a somber gravity he didn't often have. "Your kids?"

"Fine, I believe. They were securing the Third's grandson and they were sent out when this all started. A few old friends followed them out." Kakashi answered.

Choza let out a sigh of relief. Old friends was the short hand in Konoha for indicating an identity you couldn't reveal casually; this usually meant ANBU. If the kids ran off with ANBU shadows they likely wouldn't be taken out quietly.

"What happened here?" Shikaku asked.

"The play ended. Orochitama showed-up wearing a top-hat, implied she'd destroy the ninja world, then pointed out Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame in the crowd." Kakshi stated lightly. Not even in a false sense anymore. This just seemed to be his life now.

"Shit."

"Orochitama had a brief altercation with them before threatening them with Konoha."

"What? How'd she manage that?" Inoichi asked, though Kakashi didn't need to answer.

"She made it a lose-lose scenario. They beat her, then we beat them. The only way to win is to not play." Shikaku said, shaking his head. "If the three fled, they likely are too slippery for us to realistically find and take in."

Kakashi spared a glance back at Gaara, who was taking the chanced to very specifically not bring attention to himself. Likely waiting to see if any of them said something particularly juicy, as any good ninja that wasn't Naruto would.

"Mostly true." Kakashi acknowledged, "But Jiraiya wasn't here."

The three Jounin perked up. "Then where is Jiraiya?"

To the north, a massive plume of fire rose in the distance, the roar of an intense explosion rattled the glass of the abandoned carnival stalls.

"Right around there, I imagine." Kakashi answered.

xxxxxx

"Jiraiya. Something's off." The toad on his shoulder, Pa, muttered.

"I know." He muttered back.

The fight was off, Orochimaru wasn't fighting right. It was absolutely still Orochimaru, the small flourishes when he used a sword, the way he kept using the terrain, even the way he'd tilt his head ever so slightly when an attack was used differently than he expected was all very Orochimaru, and yet it wasn't.

Orochimaru was making attacks to put Jiraiya off balance, but it was used to gain more distance. He wasn't pushing his advantages for a relentless attack that would slowly pick Jiraiya apart piece by piece. He wasn't even trying to use the female body to his leverage and advantage! It's almost like he was afraid.

That didn't make sense though. The best move would be to try and take Jiraiya out as soon as possible. The longer the fight went on, the more likely it was that other Konoha ninja would show up and make this even more difficult on the Snake Sannin. The only thing that made sense would be-

"She's trying to delay us." He muttered.

Pa and Ma gave a hum of agreement.

That didn't still left questions though. Orochimaru had clearly taken steps to make a perfect distraction against Jiraiya specifically and he wasn't using it. Reports indicated he'd been practicing flirty behavior with others to distract them, so why not now? What was different about this situation?

Though he'd trained himself in preparation of that.

Orochimaru continued to make a fighting retreat, his bright red coat's twin tails flapping in the wind behind him while the top-hat miraculously stayed on his head despite everything. He continued to jump from tree to tree, abruptly changing directions and slithering around tree trunks as he went. Movement that was a pain to track with your eyes, but Jiraiya didn't need to use his eyes.

Sage Mode allowed him to feel the chakra of everything around him, not just it's presence but the feel of it. Like when Orochimaru ducked behind a tree and two of him leapt away on the other side. He didn't need to guess which one was the right one. He could feel the earth chakra in the one on the left. It was a clone, probably a mud one.

"That won't work!" He yelled as he made a huge leap forward, Ma and Pa reading his intentions and snapping out their tongues to help rocket him towards the real Orochimaru. Orochimaru changed directions and jumped towards his clone, avoiding the hit, but he didn't expect the attack to land. His hair, now greatly lengthened turned to bed of hardened spikes lashed out to his former teammate's airborne form. Orochimaru wouldn't be able to dodge in midair and he didn't have enough time to pull out a jutsu. If the attack landed, his mass of hair would surround the Snake and impale him in a thousand places.

Instead, the mud clone flung itself in front of the attack, splattering the dark sludge that made up the clone all over his hair.

"Come now Jiraiya, all this hostility and no talk? This isn't like you." Orochimaru called behind him as he ran.

"I think we made our positions clear the last time we met." Jiraiya called back as he again leapt after him.

Orochimaru anticipated the jump though, and a wave of air lashed out at him. Pa let out his own wind blast that cancelled the attack, allowing him to plow forward. In the wrong direction as Orochimaru had, again, changed directions.

He clearly wasn't trying to retreat to specific place.

"Oh come now Jiraiya, that was so long ago! I know I've changed a lot since then." He said with a laughing tone, like he often did when he thought he said something that flew over Jiraiya's head.

The meaning was pretty clear though.

"Just getting a nice pair of knockers isn't enough." Jiraiya retorted.

"Oh that's not all that's changed. I'm a changed woman. Different priorities, methods, and jutsu. I even learned a bit from you and looked into oil release. Managed to make an oil clone even." The snake said as she slapped one of the trees she ran by.

Wait. Oil clone?

Shit!

Jiraiya was already in midair and couldn't redirect as the tree erupted in fire. The flame wasn't particularly hot and seemed to be more a flash of heat that would just give a momentary sting. However, the heat was enough to make the dark liquid in his hair burst into an angry inferno.

"Jiraiya!" Ma and Pa both shouted in surprise. Ma moved quickly and began used a wind jutsu to cut the burning area away.

Jiraiya would just have to trust her to handle it, since he instead had to prepare for the form of Orochimaru descending upon him alongside a shower of earth spikes. More than a dozen spikes of earth the length of his arm descend at him alongside Orochimaru's fist.

Jiraiya contorted his body to avoid the spikes, having to bat a few out of the air while he jerked his head to the side to avoid Orochimaru's punch.

He realized too late that it wasn't a punch. Orochimaru continued past him and Jiraiya's right shoulder felt lighter.

He turned to see his former teammate gripping Pa by the throat and pinning him against the tree while a kunai descended toward the old toad's face.

"No!" Jiraiya managed to yell but knew it was too late.

However, before the blade could connect, the old frog disappeared in a puff of smoke. Returned to Mount Myoboku before the kunai could land the attack.

"There. That should make you more mana-" Orochimaru began but Jiraiya wouldn't let him finish.

He'd almost killed Pa, his friend. His teacher. He wasn't going to let that slide. Sage Mode granted many benefits and now that Pa was gone he'd burn thing through the Nature Chakra needed for it faster than Ma alone could refill if he was going all out. He would either need to conserve energy or end it quickly.

He came to his conclusion quickly. Orochimaru was trying to delay, best not to let him delay but his previous methods of attack weren't working.

So, he decided to flip the script.

"Ma. Cut the tree!" He ordered.

The toad glanced at him oddly, but followed the order immediately and cut through the trunk of the tree next to him with a wind jutsu. As it fell, Jiraiya leveraged all the strength that Sage Mode allowed and pulled a move out of Tsunade's book.

He swung half a goddamn tree at Orochimaru.

The tree obscured his vision of Orochimaru, and Jiraiya took a moment to get off a quick clone jutsu. The tree swung like the club of an angry god, but before the attack could hit the traitor's form launched into sky. Kusanagi, Orochimaru's blade, had lengthened to propel it's master up into the sky while the tip stayed planted in the earth. The sharp edge of the weapon cutting through the massive tree like butter as the splintering and cracking of the tree echoed through the forest, leaves and splinters filling the air.

Jiraiya smiled in victory. He wasn't done using other people's tricks yet, and he'd recently read a mission report that was a stroke of genius.

"Jiraiya! Such destruction of Konoha's forest! Sarutobi-sensei will be lecturing you!" Orochimaru yelled from his position up in the sky.

He reached back and pulled out a fuma shuriken, the large throwing star unfolding to be the size of his torso. He hurled it at Orochimaru's airborne form. Then he threw a second.

Orochimaru used the handle to contort himself out of the way of the first, her lithe body twisting her hips and spreading her legs wide to assist with the spin in a move fit for dancer. However, as the second shuriken went to pass a puff of smoke evolved it, and Jiraiya's shadow clone smiled viscously as it plunged a kunai at her chest.

As the blade descended Orochimaru's back bent backwards to a far greater degree than a human spine should be capable of. The clone transitioned the stab into a swipe to continue after her though only managed to land a superficial cut before it's momentum carried him away from the Snake, who was allowing Kusanagi to shrink and bring him back towards the ground, though as gravity took hold of him, he twisted at the hips and spun himself in a circle. The blade went with him and cut through the clone as he fell, but Jiraiya planned on capitalizing on the opportunity.

"Now's our chance, Jiraiya!" Ma shouted as Jiraiya gave a hum of agreement.

With his hair cut and burned, he lost some of his ability to use his Lion's Mane style techniques, but he had a enough to release a barrage of his hair, sharpened into needles, at the airborne form. Ma then sent out an air technique to launch them even faster, though he didn't wait to see the result. He knew the attack would be blocked. Instead, he snapped off a branch from the downed tree as he rushed at his foe. The pale ninja had just begun to land and Jiraiya chucked his improvised weapon like a javelin.

Orochimaru bent backwards and twisted, avoiding the attack, but as he did the sound of ripping fabric rent the air and Orochimaru turned to expose-

Heh. Boobies.

Orochimaru, at the sound of the ripping fabric, jumped into action, launching herself at him and Jiraiya snapped into action, lashing out a foot into the woman's vulnerable stomach, sending her flying away from him before smashing through a tree and into another, blood escaping the woman's mouth as she flew back.

He got her.

The woman stood up, a smile on her face, but panic in her eyes as she lashed out with Kusanagi, the blade swinging in towards his side. Jiraiya moved block the attack but it stopped short. The pale woman stood there, seeming to strain against her own skin as her body only gave minute shakes of movement.

"Thanks for the assist, Shikaku." Jiraya announced as followed the shadow extending from Orochimaru over to Konoha's Jounin commander, the man in question was straining and sweat began to bead over the man's face.

Choza, Inoichi, and Kakashi appeared moments later. Screaming lightning igniting in Kakashi's hand. The was it, the final moments of-

"Alright. Fine. You win." Orochimaru said with a huff and, abruptly, Shikaku stopped straining and almost stumbled. The movement attracting attention of everyone there.

"What?" Jiraya asked dumbly. This was Orochimaru. Orochimaru never surrendered, except mockingly.

"You win. I lost. I was barely keeping ahead of you before you-" the woman pauses for a moment before nodding her head, "Broke my ribs and tore SOMETHING in my digestion track. Add in four of Konoha's finest and I'm definitely not running away, much less winning this fight. You are free to kill me if you so wish, but I imagine I'd be much more use as an intelligence asset. Image all the juicy info you can torture out of me."

Everyone slowly looked to each other briefly. The intelligence potential of Orochimaru was incredibly valuable. Even enough that Jiraiya found himself hesitant to turn it down. If held properly, it's not like he'd manage to get away. Plus weeks of torture on him had a certain appeal too.

"For the record. This is absolutely a trap." Kakashi stated and pointedly did not deactivate the screaming Chidori in his hand.

"Kakashi-kun! You'd think so lowly of me?"

Jiraiya though, had a bit of trouble bringing himself to make decision, in part he was dealing with the warm flush of excitement running through him. He had done it. He had finally beat Orochimaru, no questions asked. He had the better plan and fucking WON. For decades he'd fought Orochimaru and for the first time, he'd actually won. He was bringing Orochimaru to justice.

"Yes, as you decide my fate can I ask for you to do something about my clothing situation. Either cover me up or go ahead and let me take everything off and leave the world the way I came in. Naked and covered in blood."

That snapped Jiraya's attention back to the present and again looked at his rival.

Heh. And she had a lacy black bra. Very-

Jiraiya mentally slapped himself. No time to be distracted yet.

"Your bra is still intact. Your modesty is protected enough." Shikaku stated firmly. "No distracting us."

"But I'm very good at being distracting!" The...creature whined. "Though, I must hand it to you. You caught me by surprise when you didn't get sidetracked there. I expected a classic clothing rip would suitable distract you for one good hit."

An arrogant smile came to Jiraiya's face.

"Honestly, I'm impressed too, Jiraiya-chan." Ma stated, patting him on the head.

Pride flushed into Jiraiya again and he let out a mighty laugh. "Yes! I came prepared. I trained for this moment to focus myself."

"Focus yourself?" The Snake Sannin asked, in confusion before her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened before taking on a teasing lit. "Jiraiya! You didn't!?"

The warm feeling immediately left.

"Alright. That's enough now. Kakashi, kill him."

The surrounding ninja blinked at the sudden change.

"Oh my god you did!" Orochimaru shouted.

"What? What's going on?" Chouza asked, looking between the Sannin.

Maybe it wasn't too late to go Missing-nin?

"To stop himself from getting distracted by anything mildly sexy in a fight he used to make a clone transform themselves to look like the woman and then have the clone flirt with him and flash him until he no longer had an extreme reaction! I thought he stopped!"

"Hey! I hadn't done that since I was a teenager!" Jiraiya yelled back.

"Then how exactly did you 'focus yourself' to resist the distraction of my pendulums swaying?" Orochimaru challenged back.

"I-" Jiraiya began as his mind scrambled and he discarded his first thought of an alternate answer since it wasn't much better. Finally he landed on an answer. "Meditated."

The clearing went quiet.

"You took a really long time to come up with that." Orochimaru stated smugly.

"Oh come on. You're the one who-" Jiraya started before, quite suddenly, Orochimaru disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

All of the ninja's present stood up straighter and again readied themselves for combat. Jiraiya used Sage Mode to send his senses out to find any trace of the Snake.

"What happened? She just disappeared!" Chouza asked as he gripped his staff.

"Do you sense her Jiraiya?" Shikaku asked.

"No." Jiraiya said and he realized, quite suddenly, what Orochimaru had been delaying for. "He must have already set up his snakes to reverse summon him. From the beginning this was just to distract us until his summons could pull him out." Jiraiya snarled.

"Fuck." Shikaku groaned, slapping a hand to his head.

They had been so close!

"For the record." Kakashi spoke up as he pulled out his book, "I totally called it."

xxxxxx

With a puff of smoke I arrived in the realm of my summons. I fell to a knee and held back on coughing up more blood. Jiraiya's attack was unexpected and I hadn't prepared any defenses for it. I was very hurt.

I began to work medical chakra into myself to fix some of the damage before looking up at the towering form of Manda.

"Manda. I believe I said to summon me in thirty minutes, you fucking asshole!" I yelled.

"Oh? Was that more than thirty minutes?" Manda asked smugly. "Perhaps you are so weak as to need-"

Kusanagi shot forward and stabbed Manda in the gut. The snake flinched back and gave a mighty cry of pain that shook the ground.

"You dare!?" Manda hissed.

"Yes." I stated firmly. "I almost just died because of you. Let me make something clear." I flashed through hand-signs and the ground below Manda turned into a miry swamp, sinking the giant snake into the muck.

"I don't suffer traitors. If you want out, say it and I will cancel our contract right now. I will leave you to do as you wish. However," I slash with Kusanagi again, and one of the horn-like protrusions on top of Manda's head is removed with a spurt of blood, "this backstabbing and subtly undercutting my plans will stop, or I will kill you and make sure the snakes have a more suitable leader. Is that fucking understood?"

Manda shook in some combination of pain and rage, or the poison might have been causing it too. It wasn't potent enough to kill something of Manda's size, but he would not be feeling well for the next few days.

"I...understand." The snake hissed out with reluctance.

I didn't like dealing like this. Mutual benefit worked much better, but the Snake Boss wasn't giving me much choice. I stumbled away and went to find somewhere to sit down for a while. Despite the hiccup with Manda, that actually went surprisingly well.

"Well. Phase one complete." Now I just needed to usurp a village and set up a wedding.
xxxxx

Notes:

And that's chapter!

Before I go too much farther, NOTE! I am aware Jiraya changes pronouns for Tama a LOT in this chapter. This is on purpose. He is very certain it's guy Maru, but his eyes see pretty lady and well...I figured it would be in character for him to struggle.

Chapter 40

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Kakashi sat slumped in his chair still picking out the occasional grain of sand from an uncomfortable location. His gaze slid over the meeting room and found most everyone else was in the same boat. Jiraiya's eyes were half-lidded and the only reason the man hadn't already fallen asleep was because his summon, Shima, kept giving him a smack when he'd fall asleep. Shikaku also looked tired, but that was typical. Instead the man was pouring over paperwork at the table despite the fact it was almost midnight at this point. The only person looking fresh was Danzo, who seemed to alternate between them with a judging look.

Then, the Sandaime Hokage walked into the meeting, more hunched and tired than Kakashi had seen him years as he took his place and the meeting truly began.

"Deaths?" The Hokage asked.

"None found." Shikaku answered.

"Injuries?"

"Izumo Kamizuki tripped during the sandstorm and hit his chin. There are also a bunch of complaints about chaffing from the sand." Shikaku answered.

"Really? That's all?" The Hokage asked, sitting up straighter and life visibly flowing back into him.

"Hey! I got pretty beat up." Jiraiya groused.

"Hush up Jiraiya-boy. That didn't count." Shima stated with a smack against the Sannin's arm.

"Does too." Jiraiya muttered under his breath as he crossed his arms.

"Anything stolen?" Sarutobi asked.

"Nothing. In fact, you could say that we just gained access to a bunch of carnival equipment and a circus tent. Technically, we are financially better off if we can find a use for the damn things."

Kakashi wasn't surprised. He saw the end of the fight with Jiraiya. He'd met Orochitama before. He knew that after everything they'd still be scratching their heads about what happened and why.

"Prisoners?" Sarutobi asked.

"Of sorts. The gennin teams from Sound and their Jounin-sensei are still here. We've taken them in for questioning and they've cooperated with everything we've asked." Shikaku practically spat.

"They've been polite? How terrible." Kakashi droned.

"Of course they have, because, technically, Sound still hasn't violated any part of the Chunin exams guidelines agreed upon by the various villages." Shikaku complained. "Hell, the closest party to breaking it was Suna when their Jinchuriki pulled that trick, but he has deniability in being able to say he was trying to help us."

"How went the questioning? Did we find anything actionable?" Danzo asked. Which was hilarious because the man almost certainly already had a report on the event before he was into the room.

"Oh, they're doing a lot of talking. They even admit to being paid by Orochitama, but none of them have so much as confirmed that she has an official relationship with the village outside of paying for this job." Shikaku groused.

"Then interrogate them more severely." Danzo stated firmly, showing why he had asked the previous question.

"We've already got representatives from the other villages asking about what was going on. The Sound Ninja were also grabbed while being surrounded by a bunch of ninja from other villages. We can go farther, but if we do every other village with know it. They'll demand we pay recompense for breaking treaty." Shikaku stated tiredly. "Not to mention the obvious."

"Orochitama implied she'd make us regret it if we don't let her team compete in the exam. If we do anything to bang them up too much, I don't doubt she'd manage to make us regret it." Kakashi stated seriously. That was the problem with S-Class ninja; even alone they could deal major blows to a hidden village and couldn't be ignored, especially if said ninja likely knew quite a few of Konoha's deep dark secrets.

"I do not think we have to fear this new imposter." Danzo stated. The room grew very still at his words.

"You imply much, Danzo." Hiruzen stated.

"I'm not implying, I'm stating with certainty. You all know the character of Orochimaru as well as I. This whole farce would not be anything he would ever dream of. This frivolity would be held with disdain and he certainly wouldn't have gone on stage in the described outfit. That was an imposter." Danzo stated firmly.

"Imposter!? That was Orochimaru! I know Orochimaru; those blocks, the way he used his wind jutsu, how he fought me back. He knew what he was doing. That was him." Jiraiya insisted.

"Oh? Then why has your summon insisted on being in the meeting?" Danzo asked causing Jiraiya to wince.

"Yes, Shima-san. I would be interested in knowing why you insisted on coming." Hiruzen spoke up drawing attention away from Danzo. The best time to watch the man. Not that the old warhawk ever let his face ever carry a human expression, but there were very subtle tells one could pick up on if you watched him. Muscles tensing under his clothes or relaxing were an indicator of something existing there, though Kakashi had only ever caught it once.

He still wasn't sure if Danzo had specifically let him notice it.

"During the fight, that woman grabbed Pa. The grab was pointless, she could have stabbed him. Not just that, but when she had him at her mercy and he unsummoned himself her weapon stopped before it would have impacted him. If she actually was going for the kill, it would have through the space he occupied." Shima's croaked.

"That doesn't prove anything. He could have been trying to take a hostage for us to stand down." Jiraiya said dismissively.

"Take a summon hostage? Jiraiya." Hiruzen's disappointment was palpable.

"With what we know heard from Anko about Orochimaru having to resign the contract, I think we can safely say that our assumptions about this person aren't going to valid anymore." Shikaku stated firmly. "They could be some sort of permanent clone experiment, a technique gone wrong, or even just Orochimaru hiring someone to do a massive misinformation campaign against us. We don't know, but just because this Orochitama exists doesn't mean Orochimaru does not."

A thought that made a lot of sense occurred to Kakashi. "Orochitama had mentioned to me in Wave that they had gotten on the bad side of a group of S-Class ninjas. The ones that turned up here most likely. This could be all about sending them chasing after a distraction while he focuses on something else."

The room lapsed into silence. It wasn't a theory brought up yet.

"Why the hell would Orochimaru make a MILF version of himself as a distraction?" Jiraiya asked.

"An accident because brains are complicated?" Shikaku ventured.

"To be more distracting?" Kakashi ventured.

"Or," Hiruzen began, "Orochimaru badly needed this distraction and the only thing Orochimaru feels is truly competent is himself."

"Okay, then why is it a woman and acting nothing like him?" Jiraiya challenged.

"Because if it was the same, it would try to kill the original and take his place." Danzo stated firmly. "A clone of Orochimaru would not stand to be second place to anyone, even himself. He would eventually attempt to claim the top spot for himself."

The room shared looks. This theory was beginning to sound frightfully plausible. If it was true, there were two people with the power and knowledge of Orochimaru running around.

"Yeah. Okay, maybe that's all true, but again I ask, WHY A MILF!?" Jiraya pounded the tabled.

"To mess with you." Shima spoke up and Kakashi could feel a headache coming on. He was tired of hearing this theory. He highly doubted all this effort was being put in to-

"She admitted as much while fighting you." Shima continued.

Hold up. What now?

"Shima-san. Are you saying that during the fight, this...Orochitama admitted to being a woman to mess with Jiraiya specifically?" Hiruzen asked incredulously.

"Yes!" Jiraiya stood up and sat his foot on the table and pushed his chest out with pride.

"No." Shima cut in, popping the Sannin's bubble. "She seemed surprised herself to realize it, but she admitted at the least that much of the festival had been catered to distract Jiraiya. However, if that was the case that fight would have gone differently."

"How so?"

"The boob-snake wasn't going for kill shots all through the fight. Many times she'd have an attack go slower to give Jiraiya-boy time to block. If she was made specifically for Jiraiya-boy, she would have tried to kill him or at least use her feminine weapons against him. She did not try to flirt or bare herself to him in any way during the fight."

"Hey! Her boobs were hanging out in the open at the end there!" Jiraiya insisted.

Kakashi's breath hitched. That was big.

"Yes. Because you cut her there." Shima responded.

That was huge.

"Yeah, but she still tried to use it to-"

"Jiriaya-sama. Shima-sama. Are you saying that Orochitama DIDN'T try to flirt during the fight?" Kakashi asked as he came to stand.

The two sages exchanged looks before shrugging. "No. Not really."

"You're sure?"

"Uh, yeah? Why?"

"She flirts with everyone. She flirted with me. She flirted with Zabuza. She flirted with that woman that was probably Terumi Mei. Hell, she flirted with Kisame. If she very specifically didn't flirt with you, there has to be a reason."

"Wait. What do you mean I'm the only person she didn't flirt with? Like I'm not good enough?" Jiraiya demanded.

"Perhaps this person, whoever they are, still has Orochimaru's memories. Whatever caused them to exist they remember Jiraiya and because of that memory they didn't want to flirt with him. Combined with the very different personality, this is someone that doesn't share Orochimaru's opinions, but retains his memories."

"So...aside from having poor tastes, what does that make her?" Jiraiya asked.

"Dangerous." Danzo stated immediately, but before he could build steam Kakashi found himself speaking up.

"An opportunity."

Danzo's eye narrowed but he motioned for Kakashi to continue.

"If she has a different attitude and opinion from Orochimaru, that could be something we can use. During my time in Wave, I got the sense that she was trying to reach out and ask for help. We could use that."

"She is unpredictable. She already threatened to attack Konoha. She's a threat that should be neutralized." Danzo glared in challenge.

"She implied she'd attack the village, but I don't buy it. She's gone through too much effort into not hurting Konoha at every turn to change now." The more he talked, the more sure he was. "She's unpredictable because we don't know anything about her and are assuming she's Orochimaru. We've been basing all of our predictors on things that Orochimaru would do, or we would do, but I have a student that has managed to successfully predict her behavior. Every. Single. Time."

The room collectively blinked as they realized that most of the things that had caught them by surprise, Naruto had called earlier and Kakashi had told them as such.

"So you're saying we should just accept her as an ally and trust she has no knife poised at our back just because she gives your student tingly feelings?" Danzo asked as the frown wrinkles on his face deepened.

"No. I'm saying that we consider the possibility that she's not out to kill us all. Which is a challenge because, well, Orochimaru. However, for all the reasons we fear Orochimaru, they are also good reasons to make her an ally. If she can be turned against the enemies of Konoha? It's worth considering." Kakashi finished before returning to his seat.

The room grew quiet. That thought hadn't been one brought up previously. The idea that this woman could genuinely be an ally and a help to them hadn't been considered. It would take a while to sink in.

"It's late. We are tired. We can reconvene tomorrow and discuss this-" Hiruzen began when the door to the room swung open violently.

"Some girl with big knockers is pretending to be Orochimaru and hired me to cure one of her subordinates." The intruder announced.

"Tsunade!?" Jiraiya explained in surprise.

"Oh. You're here." The blonde woman said in disappointment.

Danzo seemed to take that moment to disappear from the room.

"I'm sorry, 'Oh. You're here.' That's all I get?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yeah. That's all you get. Anyways, I made my report. Duty fulfilled, I'm out of here." Tsunade stated before turning to walk back out the door.

"Oh no. This is the first time you've entered Konoha in a decade! You don't get to just walk away!" Jiraiya called as he went to go after his former teammate.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shikaku exclaimed and stood up and, after a very pained expression, began to run after the woman, leaving just Kakashi and the Third Hokage in the room together. A tired yet wistful expression was on the old man's face.

"So, being their teacher never really gets better, does it?" Kakashi asked.

A chuckle shook the Sandaime's form and he stood from the desk and situated the hat on his head. "You have plenty of interesting years ahead of you, Kakashi-kun."

Yeah, that's what he figured.
xxxxxx

"And he didn't even injure anyone?" Rasa asked as he flipped through the report on the recent incident in Konoha.

"No, Kazakage-sama." The messenger stated, despite knowing the question to be rhetorical.

"Impressive." He muttered to himself as he poured over the report. This Orochitama had consistently shown herself to be both impressive and a massive annoyance. Using Gaara to put up a screen to allow her people to retreat was genius beyond the act itself. It implied Sand had a deeper alliance with Sound. Connecting that with some rumors being spread about him gaining a mysterious new mistress and it began to paint a picture very beneficial to sound. To the point that if he denied a serious connection to the other village people would just believe it stronger.

At the same time, Sand did receive some benefit from this as well. Sound just sat on a major power's doorstep, got cheeky, then walked off without repercussion. Sand being tied to it could be leveraged to increase their esteem. In fact, many clients would assume that it was Sand that had a new puppet state that did it all. Especially since Sand had rich history of stage plays. Were that all not true, the very fact that Gaara had been behaving as well as he had was reason enough for this to have all been worth it. It would all be cause for celebration if not for the fact that Rasa at least knew he'd been played. So much could have gone wrong that he never would have approved of the actions taken, so she just manipulated him into doing them anyways.

A confounding woman, to be sure.

"Anything else to report?" Rasa said as he again looked over the action report.

"Some Daimyos having their regular spats and trysts. Some minor villages have shown some movement. The four other major villages have grown worryingly quiet." The man reported.

"They want someone else to do something so they can see what will happen." Rasa noted. It wasn't unusual, especially considering that no one seemed to know where the hell Hidden Sound village even was aside from, supposedly, someplace in the Land of Rice. Rasa had actually spoken to the woman personally and he still had no idea what her game was aside from the fact she probably wasn't going to attack Konoha.

Probably. She had asked that he make it look like he was moving to attack the Hidden Leaf, but to not commit to it; she was attempting a distraction was the most obvious answer. He couldn't ignore the fact that there might be more in play though. For all he knew, she was going to infiltrate Suna, kill him, and then make his village go to war for real.

War was the last thing Suna needed. They had no true S-Class ninja aside from himself, and possibly Gaara, though the boy was too green to truly lay claim to the position. Should a war happen their only real saving grace at the moment was the fact that their village lie in the middle of an expansive desert on the only source of water for miles. An assault on their village was a logistical nightmare, but despite that, he didn't care for their chances of coming out on top. Perhaps in a few more years when Gaara had a chance to be sharpened more, but for now, war was the last thing they needed.

"Have a message sent out to all our people in the field. Make sure everyone knows to not get involved if any violence starts. They are to retreat rather than fight." Rasa ordered.

"Yes sir!" The ninja responded before exiting.

Once again alone in his office, Rasa's face dipped into a deeper frown.

"What is your plan?" He muttered.

Only silence greeted him.

xxxxxx

Onoki frowned at his paperwork from atop his raised chair. (Raised chair! Not booster seat!) This was not a rare event, but his frown today was severe enough to throw his back out, he just could FEEL it happening soon. Age was catching up with the old Tsuchikage and he knew it, his hair was thinning, his nose had grown bulbus and his squat form liked to give him back pain from a stiff breeze. Still, he had enough fight to keep doing the job.

"So Konoha just let them all get away after saying all that?" He scoffed.

"Well, they've been growing soft for a while, Grandfather." Kurotsuchi stated brashly, drawing a smile to the old man's face, though he hid it quickly.

"It's Tsuchikage while on the job." Came his gruff correction.

"Sorry!"

"Don't count them out on growing soft. Konoha pops out geniuses ever few years. Don't underestimate them." Onoki had made that mistake himself too many times. The village had never risen back to its heights from when Madara and Hashirama were both in the village, but no one else had risen that high either. Though Kumo was trying their damndest to lay claim to the position.

"Then those geniuses become everyone else's problem." His granddaughter stated.

Onoki gave out a short laugh. Konoha's S-Class ninja going missing-nin was also a long standing tradition of the village as well he supposed. He knew for a fact that Akatsuki had at least two of its members hail from Konoha. Though considering recent events, that was probably only one now.

"Any other breaking news?" Oonoki asked. His granddaughter had been his runner for the last month and it worked well, having her give him status updates. It meant she could see the way the world was actually working and maybe even one day be Tsuchikage herself.

"Hidden Grass and Hidden Waterfall have been scurrying for a while. They're up to something but no signs on what that is yet." Kurotsuchi responded. "The Pink Canoe, that new shipping business, has suddenly started to build some sort of manufacturing location. Whatever it is, they sunk a bunch of money into it, though we still don't know who their ninja backers are yet."

"Hm. What else? What in the information given seems most important?" Onoki quizzed.

"Sand's assistance with Sound likely means the two are connected. It's possible this Orochimaru, Orochitama, whoever it is, was hired by them to make a spectacle. Or they were working with Sand and using them to some end. Whatever it is, no village seems intent on acting on the information."

"Do you think that might change?" Onoki asked as he picked up his tea cup, gazing at his granddaughter meaningfully.

"Maybe? I mean, Mist could do something random. Konoha might act too, considering it happened to them."

He took a moment to enjoy his tea while he waited to see if she would add anything to that. When she didn't, he suppressed a sigh.

"No. The major player to watch is Kumo." Onoki finally stated.

"Eh? Them? Why?"

"They are the strongest power right now. They are the country everyone has to make sure they don't offend. If a war started between just two villages, Kumo is the one that win right now. The only reason that Kumo hasn't done anything yet is because it can't take us AND Konoha right now, and if they overstep, we'd team up just long enough to make Kumo no longer the biggest threat." Onoki stated. He knew personally. He'd seen it before, though last time it was Konoha that been the major power and it was Kumo and Iwa that had teamed up.

"Oh. So not only do we not know what's going on with Sound, but we also have to wait until we know what Kumo is going to do about it." Kurosuchi stated with a ponderous expression. "So...what can we do?"

"Us? Nothing." Onoki stated simply, though a devious grin crossed his face. "But that's what proxys are for."

The revealed information about said proxy was disturbing, but with that new revelation their prices might be lower now too. He'd have to be more careful with them, but Akatsuki was too useful a tool to just ignore.

So he began to draft a letter.
xxxxxx

The Fourth Raikage of Kumogakure smiled as he looked at the report in front of him. He was a mountain of a man with dark skin spread over his rippling muscles. He held the name "A" the same as all the Raikages before him, and he could feel the thunderous sound of opportunity echoing in the distance.

"Did Konoha capture anyone?" He asked. It would be vital to act quickly if they did; they would need to demand concessions from Konoha for violating the treaty if they overstepped their bounds.

"Not as far as we can tell." Mabui, his prim and proper assistant stated, leafing through her own stack of reports.

"Hm. Keep watch. That might change." He ordered as his mind raced with possibilities. If Konoha attacked Orochimaru and lost some of their higher ranked ninja then Kumo could potentially take Iwa and Konoha at the same time. Konoha was years from having a powerful jinchuriki and the only powerful ninjas that seemed to stay in the damn village weren't the sort that could stand up to A or his brother, hell, not even Darui. He just needed an angle.

"So? Any other news? This was a big show, was it hiding something else?"

"Nothing obvious. Mist seems unsteady, but that has been their norm for a while. The Pink Canoe, that new trade company, has been snatching up engineers and artists. We're working on figuring out why still. The Daimyo of Valley Country is meant to marry the daughter of the Daimyo of Hill Country. The wedding is being rushed, so that might mean the woman is pregnant and they want things done quickly. Suna has begun to move on Konoha but their movements are odd." Mabui reported.

The actions of the trade company were odd, but nothing very alarming. Still, he had to wonder what would require both engineers and artists in great numbers. The Daimyo having their regular drama was also barely worthy of note. He'd be surprised if Waterfall and Grass noticed any changes with their Daimyos at all.

"Have people watch Sand. See if we can encourage them to start things, though nothing that couldn't be denied later. Mist is what is most volatile right now though. If this woman claimed to make a shift in power, it is most likely to be Mist or Sand." The Raikage ordered.

"Yes, Raikage-Sama. Also, it appears your brother found out about the event. He has put in a request to, and I quote, 'make damn sure he's able to go see the show if it comes back around.'" Mabui stated, stumbling slightly over the second word of the quote.

"Well he can stuff it! Such a thing would be a prime place for a trap and he doesn't need to be sticking his nose in it."

"Yes. He said that if you responded that way to inform you that, ah, 'I'll just go myself when I hear about it.'" Mabui finished sheepishly.

The desk splintered in front of him as he slammed a fist down onto it. "Who the hell did he think he was sending a message to!?"

"Raikage-sama, please, it isn't even happ-" Mabui began but was cut off by her boss crashing through the windows of the office, apparently going off to discipline his brother.

Mabui just sighed and made a note to have the Raikage brought a new desk and to repair the windows in his office.

Again.

For the fifth time this month.

Well, it was a living.
xxxxx

Terumi Mei swallowed thickly as she kept her head bowed. The Mizukage had been watching her closely ever since she came back from the mission in Wave. Her absence had been noted as suspicious and the Mizukage had been keeping her close. Now, the report about her coconspirator was being examined the silence was beginning to stretch for a worrying amount of time after she had brought it to him.

She chanced a glance up, but the child like face of the Mizukage just stared at her with cold purple eyes. Purple like vibrant bruise or an aging corpse. Mei hurriedly looked away, and suppressed a shudder. She didn't even see the report on his desk anymore, he was just staring at her.

Did he know? Did the report give something away? She would need to prepare for the attack, his Coral Release had to travel the distance between them and-

"Mei." He croaked, causing Mei to tense in her bowed position. "Tell our people to support Konoha in the conflict if Sound attacks."

Mei's head shot up in surprise. "Would it not be better for Konoha to be weakened?"

Fighting Konoha would be a risky move, but supporting them? It would make more sense to just step back and let them fight. There was only one reason he would give the order to support them. The Mizukage wanted Sound to be wiped out.

"Yes, Mizukage-sama." She stated firmly.

"Go." He ordered.

Mei complied quickly. Shuffling out of the room as fast as she could.

His order only made sense if Yagura wanted one thing. He wanted to take out Sound, but why? Did he know they had teamed up?

She would have to keep her distance from the other members of the Rebellion for now, but soon...soon they'd have their day. A day when the Mists would not be soaked in blood.

Soon.
xxxxx

I walked back into Hidden Sound tired and sore but not worse for wear. This particular facility wasn't one that most of the ninjas would be retreating to. It was far too precious to risk enemies finding it, especially with Gurren gone. I had a lot I needed to do, but I could afford to take a little while before moving again. I had time to check in on my greatest investment.

"Orochitama!" Dozens of voices yelled as I stepped into the nursery and in moments I was almost blow off my feet by a typhoon of tykes.

"Is Gurren back?"

"Did you get us something?"

"Can you sing for us?"

"I got to the potty!"

"Why do girl's have boobies?"

I suppressed a laugh at the tide of question and glanced quickly around the room. Nono stood nearby, watching the door and myself like a hawk before occasionally glancing over to Kimimaro. The bone user stood easy with no hint of difficulty breathing nor an unsteady shake of his limbs; he stood whole and healthy. The sight filled my heart with joy.

I flopped onto the floor and crossed my legs under me and gazed at all the children whose life I had saved as Orochitama.

And who I had damned as Orochimaru.

I pushed the thought from my head with a shake before grabbing the nearest child and situating them in my lap and speaking, "Ara ara! Sounds like so much happened! Tell me one at a time, what happened while I was away?"

The children gave their report. Daiki had apparently mastered coloring in the lines, Sota had learned that girls didn't have jewels and demanded that it be fixed, Raiha was upset that she was hungry but also refused to eat, and all of them had learned a new song and wanted to sing it for her.

Very serious business, don't you know?
xxxxx

Notes:

There. Chapter done. Damn was it a hard one; it gave me a lot of trouble and I had some health issues crop up for a bit. Sorry for the delay! Things are still moving now though and it's only a chapter or two before there is yet another major fight going to happen. After that it'll be falling action and then this arc is done and the story will go on a rest for a little while.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Yep. That's definitely Zabuza's apprentice." Kakashi stated as he peered at the monitor. He had been called to the central command are of the Forest of Death when his team showed up a full day before the last day and were getting chummy with ninja of other nations.

He expected no less from Naruto.

"We can kick them out for that right? Missing-ninjas aren't allowed." Anko asked with poison in her eyes, apparently she was intent on as many Sound ninja being kicked from the exam as possible.

"I looked into him. He was never a Mist ninja. So technically he's justified to take the exam." Kakashi commented and ignored the sound of annoyance from the special-jounin.

"Still, they showed up the first day. Them and Sand. That means they sent in ringers. No way are these guys all genin." Anko practically growled.

"You can't kick them from the exam for being too competent. They held the rank, they can take the exam." An old voice announced as the Third entered the room, getting a quick wave of bows from everyone in the room.

Sarutobi walked calmly over to the monitor and watched the teams briefly through the monitor. Kakashi followed the gaze and looked over them himself. A team made of the Kazekage's children and two teams from Otokagure. He had to wonder if Orochitama had actually planned for all of the Sand and Sound ninja to either befriend Naruto or commiserating with the other members of Team 7 on the burden of foolish teammates.

"Not what you expected, is it Anko?" Hiruzen asked.

"Why are you-" Anko began but the Hokage continued.

"They aren't what I had expected either. They have good teamwork. Even now they look for each other and seek to cover each others angles while still being open and sociable. It brings more credence to our latest theories."

The room went quite except for the steady grind of Anko's teeth.

"We should still knock as many of them out as we can." Anko insisted and Kakashi watched in silence.

"For all we know, that could be exactly what Orochima-, er tama is wanting. This could be a ploy to accuse us of stacking the deck against them, a minor village. Us being thought of as afraid of them would be as much a credit to them as them as one of their gennin getting to the final round." Hiruzen took out his pipe to give it a puff the old man pondering before coming to a conclusion. "There is an odd number of ninjas here. Give Gaara the pass and make sure the other two Sand ninja fight Sound ninja, remember the request by the Hyuuga to have Neji and Hinata fight, let the rest be truly random. We can get a better idea of their capabilities."

Kakashi did his best to seem engrossed in his book and not nod along to the assessment. By giving Sand the position of a guaranteed pass it would be difficult to argue that Konoha had stacked the deck against anyone. Then having Sand and Sound fighting could hint at any sort of alliance the two had if one side purposefully lost. On top of all that, they could get a look at how the ninjas fought and set them up with their worst matches with Konoha ninja so the public could see Konoha ninja being the ones to come out on top and save the village some face after the whole debacle with the fair.

It was the smart play.

The two Hyuuga fighting was just to make sure that there wasn't as public of a display of a branch member beating a main house member. The internal politics of the Hyuuga were a mystery to many, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that a member of the main branch being utterly dominated by a branch member in front of thousands of onlookers could cause some issue.

At the Hokage's words the room sprung to action and in moments everyone save him and Anko were left in the room. The purple-haired woman in place, fists clenched, breaths deep, and gaze into the middle distance. Orochitama showing up on their doorstep hadn't helped the woman's mental space, especially since he knew she went to at least one of the Star Wars shows and quite enjoyed herself.

"It's not any of my business, but-" Kakashi began but found himself cut off with the door opening to let in the monkey masked ANBU of the Hokage's personal guard.

"Mitarashi-san. Hatake-san." The man greeted before-

Anko and Kakashi both startled as the ANBU took off his mask in front of them and bowed deeply at the waist.

"I require your assistance with something that might be seen as treachery." The man continued and in no way managed to make either occupant in the room feel comfortable with what was just said.

"Why the hell are you coming to me for that!?" Anko hissed.

"What? Like I'm an expected person to ask about treachery?" Kakashi asked.

"No. That's why it makes sense to ask you. People have been expecting treachery from me for years and the last fucking week as rather reminded people of that." Anko snarked back.

Kakashi inclined in head in acknowledgment.

"I'm sorry. I know this out of the blue, but I have a limited amount of time in which to do this before suspicion will be drawn." The ANBU, well, Kakashi supposed now he was just Sarutobi Tadaomi, the Hokage's son. "You two were chosen because I was certain that you hadn't been compromised."

"Compromised about-" Kakashi began.

"No time. No questions. I received intel that Shimura Danzo is a traitor and is possession of doujutsu capable of injecting overwhelming suggestion without hint of it's use."

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, oh fuck. That would mean that any number of high ranking Konoha ninja were compromised and being controlled by one of the worst bits of pond scum to ever sludge into existence from the village. If true, this was enormous.

"Proof?" Kakashi asked.

Tadaomi tossed a pair of scrolls towards them. "Verified from multiple sources. Most damming from documents left behind by Danzo's former student, Nono."

"Well shit." Anko said as she looked through the document.

"Dead drops at Seventh Street. Look for teal. Burn all communication after reading." Tadaomi ordered.

"For what? What are we planning?" Anko asked but Kakashi could tell she already knew.

"The assassination of Shimura Danzo."

God damn it, was any of the vacation time he was being given going to actually be vacation time? He seemed to be way more stressed on this mandatory vacation than he ever was on doing his actual job.

And why did he feel like this was somehow Orochitama's fault?
xxxxx

It was worth noting that ninjas tended to like any place that the natural inclination of people was to whisper; when the very ambiance had people speak to each other in hushed tones without a matronly woman being nearby to stare in disapproval being necessary for the quiet. Such a woman was generally still there, but her position not being strictly necessary was appreciated and the locations often manifested such women regardless. For this reason, ninja loved fancy teahouses as neutral meeting points. The locations rarely cared who you were so long as you showed up in suitably expensive clothing and could pay upfront. Further, politicians and nobles often liked to use them for rendezvouses with forbidden loves and secret allies, so the staff made a habit of not asking questions about names and reasons for visiting and, in fact, tried very hard to forget faces altogether; and it wasn't even to cater to ninjas specifically, it just naturally attracted them after the fact.

I might also have chosen the tea house as the meeting location because the waitresses would make certain assumptions about that the leader of Hidden Waterfall, an older man, meeting two women that dressed...well like how the leader of Hidden Grass and I dressed. The misunderstanding and assumptions amused me almost as much as the man's face when he realized what how things looked to an outside perspective.

A glance at Ineda Rena showed that she mirrored my amusement. She was remarkably close to my outfit as well, though I suppose there was only so many ways you could wear a yukata while hinting at both sex and danger. The leader of Hidden Grass leaned back and took in all the opulence of the fancy tea house with a casual disregard that only came from extensive time in such environments spent learning the social norms and deciding that one didn't particular care. I'd have found the woman amazingly attractive were I not pretty sure her mating habits had much in common with praying mantis.

Or, to put it in a vernacular I had learned in another world, don't stick your dick in crazy.

Elder Saito clearly at least knew the spirit of this saying as he very slightly scooted his chair further away from her every time she batted her eyelashes at him. Good sense considering the man was not a particularly powerful ninja, to the point that Saito might very well have been the weakest leader of any ninja village. Against all odds Saito appeared to be the leader of his hidden village on the basis of only his leadership and management abilities and not the strength of his arms, so to speak. Indeed, the man's entire bearing and personality seemed born to make decisions on zoning restrictions. This was a foreign concept to ninjas and half the ninja world was certain that man was hiding some deep power within him.

I was at least seventy-five percent sure the man wasn't secretly extremely powerful.

"So- um-" Saito began unsteadily before coming to himself and straightening up speaking with iron, "Why have you called us here?"

"To have tea." I said, my tone teasing as I poured the jasmine tea into ceramic cups and gently passed it towards them, keeping my hands in view at all times and moving slowly so as to not make anyone unduly excited.

"Yes love, I understand that, but I imagine you called us all the way out here for something more," her voice trailed off before speaking again with a husky purr, "juicy."

"I'm afraid juices aren't on the menu today," I said with a wink before sliding a plate of mitarashi dango over to the two before taking a bite of the food myself.

The two looked at the offered food with suspicion, as befits a ninja.

"No, I'm here to talk a bit about recent events that have changed some things." I took a happy drink of the jasmine tea, it tasted of happy times.

"Oh? Are we going to talk about how you got to boldly disrespect Konoha to it's face and just walked away?" Rena fanned herself with one hand. "Because that was hot."

"I wouldn't phrase it quite so-" Elder Saito paused, "colorfully, but the event was impressive. I have concerns about some of the things that came to light during your 'Greatest Show'."

"Everything I said was true. Akatsuki is incredibly dangerous and intends to gather all the tailed beasts." I said lightly.

"Well, yes, that is troubling, but I more meant your commitment to overthrow a hidden village and bringing about the 'beginning of the end of the shinobi world.'" Saito pushed his untouched plate of dango away from himself. "You ask for an alliance between us, but I will not commit my village to fighting the whole world."

"I hate to say, but I agree with him." Rena leaned onto the table and picked up the dango stick and began to motion with it. "I love the idea of doing debaucherous things while the world burns down around us, but the ninja under me tend to get a bit stabby about such things."

I gave a nod of my head. They were valid concerns and I'd have become worried about the value of my allies if they hadn't brought up the concern.

"I understand the concern, and while what I said was true, there was a certain amount of hyperbole to it. Except the killing a Kage thing, that's happening." I said happily before taking another big bite of the dango.

"If you expect us to back you after instigating one of the major villages to attack you, you will find yourself disappointed." Saito growled.

My smile widened. Saito was bold and speaking his mind. He was proving himself quite fitting for my plans for him. "Oh, if I piss off a Hidden Village I don't expect you to back me. In fact, I insist on holding off on officially forming an alliance until after that is done. Though I suspect you will only be pleased with the results."

"And what is your plan?" Saito pressed.

"Oh my, Saito-kun, I couldn't possibly tell you. We aren't in an alliance."

Rena let out a bark of laughter before pointing her stick full of dango at me. "I'll accept the alliance. Tell me now."

I gave a polite tittering laugh. "Yes, you'll accept it now but you wouldn't mean a word of it, Rena-san."

"Since when has that ever mattered to a ninja alliance?" Rena said in an offended gasp.

"Very well. Assuming the assassination of a Kage doesn't result in your village being attacked, what is this 'destroy the Shinobi World' all about?" Saito asked.

"Ara ara, is that all?" I tutted gently, "Simply put, the current way that Shinobi operate is killing the nations, it must evolve and change if the world is meant to be advance beyond it's current stagnation"

My declaration was met with two shocked faces I savored the reaction briefly before continuing. "The hidden villages hoard their advancements and knowledge to themselves and any place outside them is left in near squalor. Our science, art, and culture just reinforces itself behind the high walls of the hidden villages and the system that the ninja have created makes it so that a ninja can only know greatness through bloodshed." I said sadly.

Rena looked at me as though I was speaking a foreign language but Saito had the look of a man finding religion, that is, a man who was seeing a glimmer of something he had deeply hoped in his heart for.

"You've noticed it too?" Saito asked.

"Noticed what?" Rena asked.

"A ninja is judged solely on their contribution to the battlefield, but it's a waste. There are so many more jobs ninja could fulfill. With Earth Release a small team of ninja could make an entire town in a matter of days, not even mentioning how much a dedicated team could do for the roads. Those that know how to make sealing scrolls can move product faster and in greater numbers than conventional means. My recent display showed the millions that could be made in entertainment. There is cash on the table and no one is taking it." I stated passionately.

"If it's meant to make so much money, why hasn't anyone else done it?" Rena asked pessimistically.

"Competitive interference." Saito groused.

"Huh?"

"Other villages tend to come by and trash anything other ninjas build on mere principle." I supplied. "It is a source of income for their enemies, so if they destroy everything they build, no one will pay them to build things."

"Doesn't sound like something you can just fix." Rena waived a hand dismissively.

"Yes, much as I love the idea, what are you going to do that's so different?"

"For one, the physical structure of my village. It isn't, strictly speaking, a village. We are separated throughout the country. There is no one or two spots you can attack and cripple us. We can respond quickly to threats by being so spread apart and modern technology allows all the bases to keep in communication with each other." I serenely sipped at my tea as the two considered the statement.

"That structure does allow you to respond to any threat quickly." Saito pondered aloud.

"It's not enough. A focused strike can pour in, cause the damage, and leave. Structure isn't enough." Rena stated sharply and without a hint of seduction. She was taking this seriously now.

"About that. I had some plans to offer an alliance to some of the larger villages and adjust our own agreement a bit." I stated lightly.

"Change it how?" They both asked suspiciously.

So I told them, I spent the next fifteen minutes explaining my plan and was met with a silence heavy enough to give a man a concussion.

"That's-" Saito said breathlessly.

"Sweet tits of Uzume." Rena finished for him. Certainly not his intended words, but they had the spirit of it.

"Yes. Fitting of a plan to end the Shinobi World, eh?" I teased.

My declaration was again met with a space of silence.

"It won't work without a mutual defense pact with Konoha." Saito stated firmly.

"Yes. I think I can manage it." I stated with confidence I didn't wholly have.

"What makes you think you're going to be able to get them to agree to side with a former traitor?" Saito asked.

"A gift to an old friend." I said wryly. "However, I will only be able to secure the alliance if you both have done your end of the plan. I have the structure. I have the power. I have the permission from the Daimyos. When the time comes, after I depose a Kage, I'll need you both to fulfill your part quickly."

The two exchanged looks. What I was offering would give both of them much and I was the one taking most of the risk, I was just asking them to step up at the very end.

"If-" Saito hesitated, "If you manage to do everything you said, you'll have my agreement, but you won't have the agreement a moment earlier."

"Oh, I'll leave you happy with my performance, I assure you." I purred making the man's face twitch. I turn to the other occupant in the room with a questioning look.

"Oh I'm in. Let's roll the dice, and if it fails we'll burn this bitch down!" Rena stated with a cackle that couldn't come from someone of sound mind.

A knot of tension loosened inside me. That was it, that was all the politics I needed to have done before everything started. The last piece of the puzzle before violence, and violence was much more predictable.

With a smile, I plucked up my cup, still half full of jasmine tea, and held it aloft in the table. "To our future together."

The two glanced down at their untouched food and drink, paused, and with the dignity of a proud man walking the gallows, the two clacked their cups to mine and we all drank.

Now, I just needed to make sure to overthrow a Kage, guard a wedding, ensure an adoption, then make nice with the people I have most personally and emotionally injured. Should go off without a hitch.
xxxxxxx

Notes:

Sorry for the long wait. I've had some health issues and some personal ones as well. On the bright side, that resulted in me doing a lot of driving while listening to Terry Pratchett audio books. I feel the latter half of this chapter has that influence come through a bit more and I hope to try and stray that way a bit more in the future. It compliments a lot of my current writing standards. I'll try and have another Orochimama chapter out this month. Only a small handful of chapters left before this story ends and then it's Orochimama: Shippuden.

Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as he stared off into the night sky from his office. Not the Hokage's office, but his own personal one that had only ever belonged to one Sarutobi Hiruzen and his clan. He didn't get a chance to use the thing very often. A fine layer of dust rested over the room and it echoed in a strangled silence under the weight of memory, as old places often do. No one had truly used the room in almost 40 years. Even Konohamaru never got the courage to disturb the reserved weight of his personal study. Ever year or so he'd hire someone to come in and dust and tidy the place up.

In his private thoughts he'd named the room the Future's Ember. It was where he tried to ignite the Will of Fire into his students.

It felt a waste. The only one of his students to still have it was Jiraiya, and he had never needed to be taught it. His perverted student had always burned brightly. He'd thought he'd instilled some of it into Orochimaru, but time showed he hadn't. Meanwhile Tsunade-

The door to the room was pushed open with forceful irreverence and Hiruzen felt himself blink at the sight.

"Tsunade?" He asked incredulously as the woman strode in with a tray holding a teapot and two cups; he recognized the set as his own.

"Sensei." Tsunade greeted casually and placed the tray down on the table with a clatter.

"What are you doing here? I know you hadn't left but I'd assumed it was because you found somewhere to drink yourself into a stupor." Hiruzen noted.

Tsunade gave a snort, far from insulted.

It seemed his student was at least not lying to herself about how she lived her life.

"Nah. I started to leave, but Shizune begged to be able to stay for a little while so she could visit family." Tsunade flopped into her chair on the other side of the desk, though it did far more interesting things to her anatomy now than it used to.

"Just that?" Hiruzen asked doubtfully.

"I might have also realized that the with the Chunin exams happening here that means the best gambling in Fire is happening right here." Tsunade admitted before poring the tea into the cups with a deft hand. The smell of steeped jasmine filled the room and a smile arose to Hiruzen's face without his permission.

Jasmine tea was what they always used to have with their time in this room.

"Well, far be it from me to try and convince you to leave Konoha so soon, regardless of your reasons for staying." Hiruzen chortled.

"Exactly. Now, spill, who do I need to be making bets on?" Tsunade demanded.

"Do you even know whose going to be in the final round?" Hiruzen asked doubtfully.

"No." Tsunade said without shame. "Spill it."

With a shake of his head, he handed his old student the names of those that made it to the final round. He could feel the frown on her face as she glanced down the list.

Temari
Haku
Zaku
Suigetsu
Tenten
Lee
Neji
Dosu
Sakura
Naruto
Gaara

"Who the fuck are all these people? You didn't even write down clan names." Tsunade demanded with irritation.

"Temari and Gaara are both children of the Kazekage. Temari is a powerful wind user and Gaara appears to be a jinchuriki that is capable of taking on many jounin." Hiruzen stated as he took a sip of his tea.

"So bet on him?" Tsunade asked mildly.

"He will have the best odds, yes." Hiruzen admitted. The kid was good and he was dangerous. It's why they had given him a pass during the preliminaries. He might have truly injured one their own ninja if he fought them; the boy wasn't exactly stable.

"Then there isn't much money there. Who has the bad odds but seems like they might go the distance? Whose the dark horse?" Tsunade asked.

"There's- no, no one really comes across like that."

"Ah. You hesitated, someone came to mind. Who is it?" Tsunade pressed.

"It is my emotion that says he has a possibility of winning, not my head. He really hasn't shown the ability to back it up as of yet. My heart just wishes that he would prove my brain wrong."

Tsunade frowned then checked the list before her head snapped back up. "It's Naruto, isn't it?"

Hiruzen blinked in surprise. "You know him?"

"Went to check on Jiraiya and found him training the kid. He's a rude little shit." Tsunade stated as she took a gulp of her tea like it was liquor and propped her feet up on Hiruzen's desk.

Laughter bubbled from Hiruzen and he leaned back in his own seat. "Yes, he is that."

The room lapsed into silence as the former sensei considered bringing up how much said brat resembled Nawaki. No, best not to shake the boat. Tsunade's dead brother was a sore subject for her even four and a half decades later. Besides, she'd surely already noticed.

"Did he tell you his dream?" Hiruzen asked instead.

"Yeah. Kid doesn't seem sharp enough to-" Tsunade stopped as she caught the wistful smile on his face. "Holy shit. It's him. You want him to be your successor."

He debated denying it. He debated denying that he didn't have a whole lot options around so he was a bright spark of hope for a man that didn't want to die wearing the hat. He debated denying that the only thing that kept him going sometimes was the future he saw in the hands of a boy that kept getting beaten down by the world and not only kept getting back up, but seemed to be getting back up with a more and more optimistic attitude each time. Instead, he settled for, "The Will of Fire burns so brightly in Naruto it is sometimes blinding."

"Great. Another kid meant to die too soon." Tsunade's voice was quiet, but the words were pushed with the weight of the world behind them and the Third Hokage felt something inside him wilt.

It did always seem like those with the brightest spark got taken out the quickest.

"Perhaps, but I am old and I need all the hope that I can grab onto." Hiruzen took another sip of his tea, hoping to warm his insides.

"You're really that desperate for someone to pass the hat to?" Tsunade asked incredulously. "Why don't you just give it to-"

Her voice faded and a look of contemplation crossed her face.

"Please continue. I would love an answer to this question." Hiruzen prompted.

"Er- what about that Hatake kid? Wasn't he supposed to be some genius?" Tsunade seemed to rally.

"Yes. Kakashi-kun is brilliant and would lead Konoha wonderfully. Unfortunately, he lacks the raw power to go with his talent. He frequently suffers chakra exhaustion and I suspect he pushed his chakra coils too hard when he was too young and they became stunted. For years he's trained and not had a large difference in his raw chakra amount." Hiruzen said with a shake of his head. Such a waste of brilliance. Kakashi would have been the equal of the Nidamine Hokage if he just had the power to go along with his depth of ability.

Tsunade gave a huff, but said nothing further. She'd likely noticed his hidden point.

Jiraiya wasn't suited to the position, and Tsunade refused to fill it, but they were the best two to take his place and they refused to. He realized it was unfair, but a part of Hiruzen was hurt that neither of his loyal students wanted to fill his position.

The weight of history of the room again began to descend in the silence and began to choke out the potential of conversation. Which seemed to be the only way meetings with old friends and students went anymore. Then, much to his surprise, Tsunade broke the silence.

"I thought the Uchiha was supposed to be in the tournament?"

"No. Sadly, he was knocked out in the preliminaries. In raw talent, he was the equal of his opponent, but it was a ninja from Sound that seemed to have some technique that attacked the inner ear and upset his balance, hearing, and vision. He was caught too far on the backfoot and couldn't recover." Hiruzen bemoaned. Having the Uchiha in the finals would have been a major draw for the crowds too.

"Really? That's a damn handy ability." Tsunade stated distantly. The fact was barely of note for her.

"Yes, there are several interesting abilities among the Sound ninja participating. For example-"

The two just sat, talking about the odds of the various ninja participating in the exam. They talked about the past, joked about the wide eyed kids that had no idea what they were getting into, and they had jasmine tea. They got to just sit down and just enjoy each other's company in a way he'd be longing for one of his students to do for decades; which was why he hated to ask the question.

"Why are you doing this Tsunade?"

"I'm just milking your for information for the gambling." Tsunade said dismissively.

"I would love for that to be true, Tsunade, but it is not. Please. The truth."

The blonde woman stared at him, her face blank as she searched Hiruzen's eyes.

"Sensei." She stated before sighing and running a hand over her forehead. "There's just been a lot of old ghosts and unanswered questions going around lately. I just- I wanted to check some stuff for myself, and that means staying in Konoha for a while."

Hiruzen gave a nod. He understood what she meant. This whole business with Orochitama had unburied many memories and Hiruzen himself was still trying to decide how he felt about the whole thing.

"Well, I am more than happy to talk with when you need it. I find conversation with an old friend is the best way to excise ghosts." Hiruzen stated as he reached into his desk and pulled out a bottle. "Sake helps too."

Tsunade threw her head back in a laugh and downed her tea to make room for the liquor. It wasn't perfect, and he felt he was still missing something about the situation, but Tsunade was here for the first time in decades and he would enjoy her company with gladness. Especially with the looming threat of something happening during the last stage of the Chunin Exam.

Though with Tsunade being in town? By his estimate it at least tripled the chances of him coming out of everything alive with her just being nearby.

One could never truly be ready, but with two of his students with him, he doubted much could take them by surprise.
xxxxxx

"We're ready." The Mist ninja stated to me firmly and with the confidence only available to teenagers.

Most the rebels looked far younger than I expected, and it twisted my gut to see them all prepare to raise their blades against those that they fought alongside for years. Civil wars were rarely pretty.

"Don't move until we give the signal." Mei stated sternly and the kid gave her a nod before glancing over at me and seeming to become emboldened and walked off with a spring in his step.

I was still, in many ways, the boogeyman of the Elemental Nations and I underestimated the effect it would have on morale for the group Mist Ninja's I had agreed to help overthrow their tyrant. After all, if you had the Boogeyman on your side, then your chances seemed pretty good. I just shouldn't expect to continue to have a warm reception after we were done.

I'd killed a LOT of Mist ninja. I might be sporting more curves and a sunny disposition now, but that sort of thing didn't tend to just be forgotten by anyone. Aside from your average voter.

"A part of me didn't expect you to show up." Mei stated from her seat; calling it a seat is actually rather generous. It was a few branches and twigs that used a small amount of canvas to convey the idea of a seat. A theme for all the things in the Mist Rebel camp it seemed.

"I gave my word. Plus I have entirely selfish reasons for being here." I promised.

"Oh? Such as?" Mei asked.

"Well, I'm hoping to be able to grab the man that has been using genjutsu to control the Mizukage for quite some time. Most especially, I hope to get a chance to kill his little Ying-Yang helper." I stated lightly and Mei's face hardly twitched at the statement. Curious. "I also have the benefit of being stuck in this hot tent with an attractive woman. Why, it might get so hot and humid we might just need to take our clothes off and-"

Mei's face morphed into disgust and she recoiled away. "Stop! Your insufferable flirting is horrible."

A wicked smile graced my face. "Ah, you believe it."

"Yes, I do believe your flirting is horrible." She stated firmly.

I ignored her. "You reacted to that, but not the statement about your Kage. You believe it. You have already accepted that he's been a puppet."

Mei glared at me. I smiled back and gave a wave.

"Fine, yes, I've come to believe your tip off. His behavior matches long term genjutsu manipulation and explains away a lot of his inconsistencies that we had previously just marked up to him being mad. That doesn't leave this room; I can take control of things if it was just a mad Mizukage. If there is more beyond that it will complicate thing and people will look to lash out at other nations in blame, regardless of if they are to blame or not."

"True. You need the valiant loyalist to strike down a tyrant because she loves her village oh so much, not the woman that might be in on a conspiracy." I acknowledge and attempted to lean back and look comfortable in the chair. It was a lost cause. I could either look comfortable, or be mildly less inconvenienced than standing, I couldn't do both. I abandoned the attempt and instead chose to lean forward and rest my chin on my knuckles and my elbows on me knees. "If that's the case, it would be best if you beat Yagura without my direct help."

"What?" Mei asked, alarmed. "You're trying to back out now?"

"Oh no! Nothing of the sort." I laughed and waved a hand before going back to position. "I'm going to make sure that your fight with Yagura is private and I'll wait in the wings to stop the person controlling him, or any other backup he might have. I'll try to keep eyes off my fight too, so no one notices."

"That is not a bad idea. If you can ensure that no one else interferes in the fight, then...I won't even need most of my forces. As soon as Yagura is dead, it's mostly just clean up. Most people will swear to me; after some politics and bitching for a few months." Mei stated in consideration.

A strength and weakness of the Ninja world. If you were strong enough to kill their old boss, most ninja thought it made you the new authority now. There would be loyalists, but they tended to not want to die to the much larger population.

"Not just that. My Sound Four can create a barrier that no one will be able to pass through and enclose the space for the fight." I promised.

Mei's eyes widened. If I could make sure her fight was in an enclosed space, it would be much easier for her. Both her lava and acidic steam would far deadlier and it would take away Yagura's strength of numbers.

"His Coral Release would also be stronger in a confined space and I'm not confident I can beat him all by myself." Mei admitted.

"Then don't. Take Zabuza with you. Having him on your side will also show this has been something long in the works and speak to your guile for being able to rise so high despite being an ally to the last attempt."

"That...could work." Mei admitted and I gave a clap as I clasped my hands together.

"Great! That just leaves one last tiny detail. Do you have plan for what to do with the Sanbi?" I asked before slowly standing and giving a stretch to my back. Mei stood far quicker and with little regard for her hardworking chair.

"Do you have intentions on it? Is that why you're helping?" She demanded fairly. I was essentially implying that I'd like to take their nukes. The power of a tailed beast could not be understated.

"Mei. I've told you Akatsuki's plan. If you don't have a damn good place to put the Sanbi, then I absolutely am going to take it and put it somewhere safe."

"If we lose it, then other nations will see it as a sign of weakness and attack."

"You have me. I'm more deterrent than an untrained Jinchuriki would be. Besides, the only one in a position to attack you would be Lightning, and if they deployed to attack you Iwa would crush them from the other side while they were weak. Besides, Mist is a pain to invade and do anything to. Now, if you have a safe place to put the Sanbi I'll be happy to leave it. Otherwise, I'm taking Isobu with me when we're done." I stated seriously, with nary a wink or innuendo.

"Isobu? Is that-?" Mei stops and seems to consider my words, turning them over in her head before sighing. "No. We don't have a way to contain him. All our best seal masters have died due to being traitors or under mysterious circumstances. We can't seal it away again when Yagura dies."

"Then I will make sure he stays safe." I responded firmly.

"Right, and it just so happens to strengthen your village's position." Mei said with a sign. "The more I deal with you the more I'm afraid of what I'm unleashing on the world by not killing you."

"Ara ara! Don't be so silly Mei-chan!" I said while I waved my hand dismissively. "There's no way you could kill me."

The way her eye twitched was just art.
xxxx

Notes:

And that's chapter. Next chapter things get hectic. So stay tuned for when the Chunin Exams, Danzo's Assassination, and the Liberation of Mist all begin. In all honesty, there is maybe like five to seven more chapters left before this goes on break for a while. All the puzzle pieces I placed through this should be coming together and I don't think anything will have been left dangling or gone unused.

If you want to talk further about this series, I invite you to come to my Discord to talk about this fic or check out my planning stages on various other fics. My two future projects I've been feeling really inspired about lately are a Super Hero original setting, World's Best Supervillain, and I've been doing a lot of worldbuilding for a fantasy litRPG, It's a Trap.

Chapter 43: Chapter 43

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The Village of Hidden Mist felt on edge even in the wee hours of the morning. I had snuck into the village previously and knew it wasn't because of an expected attack, that's just how the village felt. The thick air hung heavy with suspicion and fear for years. You never knew when you'd have said the wrong thing or made the wrong friend and it was going to bite you in the ass and it reflected in the village. Houses stood as bare scraps or veritable fortresses, there was but one bridge into town over the wet marshes and swamps that stood around the city; swamps and marshes that were full of things just waiting to kill the unsuspecting person unlucky enough to spend time there.

We moved under the cover of fog. Hidden Mist had perpetual fog, so no one batted an eye at the presence of the ticker than normal mist. Mei, Zabuza, and my Sound Four moved with me through the village. With Mei guiding us, it was a cake walk to approach the Mizukage's tower. Once we were there, getting in undetected would be trickier, though it was a more simple thing with just the three of us; the Sound Four would be outside concealing themselves and waiting to put up the barriers.

We just had to wait for the signal.

"Last chance to not commit treason." I commented lightly as I fidgeted with my sleeve. I had avoided wearing long sleeves ever since I became Orochitama, outside the Ring Master outfit. I looked over to see Mei was already staring at me with a puzzled expression before registering my question.

The fact that I was wearing the standard Konoha uniform was making her uneasy. The flack jacket and thick green shirt felt simultaneously familiar and alien on me; the look and weight was natural, but the fit was foreign. The choice to wear the outfit was for utilitarian reasons only. I was to fight Obito, a man who could teleport and lean outside of reality so that pointy weapons could go unacknowledged, a tricky combination that made me feel that wearing a flack jacket with some thin metal plates inside them would be prudent. Though for a spice of originality I did wear kung fu pants, as I couldn't bring myself to wear the complete standard uniform.

"If we succeed, it won't be treason." Mei finally answered.

"I've already committed treason once. What's once more?" Zabuza added uncaringly.

"Oh? I committed treason twice as well." I had betrayed Konoha and then betrayed Akatsuki.

"Yeah? Any side effects?" Zabuza joked.

"Oh, right after the second time I turned into a woman." I noted.

"...no." Zabuza commented with intensity.

An explosion sounded off to the east where the only bridge into the village stood. Well, at that point it was where it formerly stood.

Mei and I leapt to the tower, on the upper floors where a window had been left open for us as the non-essential personnel began to file out of the building. The Sound Four were waiting for them to leave, but would raise the barrier before more combat personnel rushed to the tower to reinforce it, anyone still inside the barrier would likely become collateral damage. Revolution would not come bloodlessly. After we were in, Zabuza followed after a few heart beats later giving me a dark look.

"I'm just saying, the two could be related." I joked as a ninja dressed as one of Mist's Hunter-nin. There was a wave of my sword and the man died swiftly and painlessly. I caught the body and lowered it softly to the ground, as I gave a muttered apology. This wasn't a situation where we would be taking prisoners.

"This way." Mei hissed and we followed after her, leaving Mei's acidic white mist in our wake to spread through the building behind us.

"If I find you trying to swap my gender after this, I will find some way to make you pay." Zabuza stated firmly and in a way that made it clear that he didn't truly think I would do such a thing, but he just wanted to make sure to cover his bases.

"Could you make me pay by going on a shopping trip? I'd love to find you something to really accentuate those arm muscles." I added, though my eyes fell to the body of the Hunter-Nin that already dissolving into a wet mess.

His death would likely be the most painless of the day.

"Viva la revolution." I muttered to myself. This would save the most lives, but tell to that to whoever that man's family was.

I had to make sure this was worth it. I had to make sure to could kill Zetsu or Obito today, a tall prospect for people that could just disappear and reappear miles away. Though if I couldn't kill them, then I had other plans to get them thinking.

I just needed to not die.

xxxx

Uchiha Sasuke was conflicted. The day of the finals for the Chunin Exams was here and he had failed. He had been taken out by an underhanded tactic in the semi-finals; he begrudgingly admitted to it being a particularly impressive underhanded tactic that befits a ninja, but it still stung his pride. Part of him was wondering why he wasn't more angry about the results, about why he wasn't stewing at home on his failure and instead standing here to show support towards the two idiots he had on his team. Then, he caught sight of Hyuga Neji entering the arena and he remembered why.

The Hyuga genius had beaten Hinata near to death. He had savaged his own flesh and blood, someone who called him brother, as he smiled with superiority and looked on Hinata in disdain while she still called him brother, despite the injuries. It had made Sasuke's blood boil and he could scarcely contain himself from jumping down and beating the boy with his own hands. Kakashi had been so busy stopping him, that he didn't manage to stop Naruto before he got half way to the would-be kin-slayer.

If it couldn't be Sasuke beating the bastard's face in, then Sasuke was at least comforted that it was his idiot that would. His teammates were both idiots, but they were a team and they reflected on one another. Naruto managing it would be the next best thing to Sasuke being able to do it as far as he figured. Feeling the future missing-nin's bones break under his knuckles would have been the best case scenario, but being able to watch his fellow orphan do it was a close second.

"Sasuke." A familiar voice called, pulling him from his contemplations. His teacher slouched a little ways off from him in the aisle. He gave a nod of acknowledgment but rather than continue to approach, his teacher waved him over. "Come on. We need to talk."

The jounin sounded serious, well rather, he didn't sound like he was joking or bored which was constituted serious for the Copy-Ninja. So, Sasuke quickly stood and followed the man to a quiet corner in the stadium. The two of them came to a stop and Kakashi leaned against the wall and regarded Sasuke silently. Sasuke put on a bored expression and regarded the jounin right back, not breaking the silence. For a solid minute the two stood in silence but Sasuke refused to be the first to speak. An action that in the past had made his sensei heave a sigh before speaking in the past, but this time his sensei gave a nod, reached into his pocket and handed a scroll over to Sasuke.

Sasuke took the scroll and wordlessly raised an eyebrow.

"If I don't come back and ask for that scroll back within twenty-four hours I need you to take that scroll to Yamanaka Inoichi. Even if I come back and act the same, you need to make sure you give that to him." Kakashi finally spoke with seriousness that had only been present in life or death situations.

"Why?" Sasuke demanded. That wasn't the sort of command he could just let go. If Kakashi was still around, why would he need to do anything? There had to be a reason the man couldn't do it himself.

"Because I'm leaving now to fight a traitor that has access to a high-level mind-altering genjutsu that can implant commands powerful enough to control a person, and he's had access to the Hokage." Kakashi answered quietly.

Sasuke's eyes widened. That was insane; the sort of thing you heard children and crazy people talk about, not the sort of thing anyone ever thought was real. If it was real and this came to light Hiruzen would be removed from the Hokage position, at the least.

If it was true.

"You have evidence?" Sasuke asked.

"I have proof. It's all in the scroll." Kakashi said, his voice steady with an emotion in it that Sasuke couldn't place.

Sasuke glanced down at the small scroll in his hands. One that could control the fate of Konoha, and it was being entrusted to him, not another jounin, not one of his teammates, him.

"Two reasons. For one, Naruto and Sakura wouldn't be able to comprehend it's importance, not really." Kakashi started as he ran a hand through his hair. "The second is that this affects you personally. Succeed or fail, you should know. The target has a noted hatred of Uchiha."

Of Uchiha, not Sasuke personally, but of Uchiha in general. A distinction that mattered being the only Uchiha in the village. It meant this was someone who was holding onto feelings even back from before That Night. Any misgivings people in the village had towards his clan had seemed wiped clean by the rivers of blood That Man had left in their home. For someone to still be holding on to that? That's an old grudge from someone that was likely old themselves.

Someone with a mild altering technique that hated his clan and was likely in the village on That Night.

"Kakashi...did he cause it?" Sasuke asked as his mind reeled. Though even as he asked it, he couldn't bring himself to think that it might be true. Ita- That Man was too good, too talented to be taken in by technique like that and he specialized in genjutsu. There was no way.

Kakashi considered him for a moment before speaking carefully. "According to the documents, he didn't have access to the mind-altering technique until after the massacre."

Sasuke nodded, though he wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved. Both?

"I'm trusting you with this Sasuke, but you can't follow after me. This isn't like mine and Zabuza's fight. It's going to be more like Orochitama's fight." Kakashi stated.

Sasuke's eyes widened once again. His teacher was going out to fight an S-Rank threat, and Sasuke found he couldn't lie to himself that he was anywhere in the league yet. He could still feel the heat on his face and the vibrations that rocked the air from that fight. It was less a fight and more two natural disasters trying to outdo each other.

"How are you supposed to do something about that?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"I'm not going alone." Kakashi answered with a shrug. "But if I don't come back, tell Naruto and Sakura why."

Sasuke gave a nod. He could fulfill that much. Behind him the crowd roared as the speaker began to announce contestants.

"I gotta go. This chakra is needed elsewhere." Kakashi said. The comment connected and Sasuke realized what he meant.

His teacher wasn't really here, he had sent a clone to inform him of what was going on. Likely a water clone considering it was able to hold a conversation. A shadow clone could have worked too, but only Naruto was dumb enough to throw that kind of chakra around for a mere message.

"Don't die." Sasuke ordered.

"Cheer for me." Kakashi replied cheekily before collapsing into a puddle on the floor.

Sasuke stood in the secluded space for a moment longer before heading back out towards the arena. There was a lot there going on, but Sasuke still fully intended to see Naruto beat the smug look off Neji's face. Thinking about everything that was just said could wait until that was over.
xxxxx

Kakashi did his best to act casual as he approached the meeting point. Stealth, not speed, was their ally right now and with Danzo having Hyuga in his employ being unnoticed had more to do with how you acted than being behind any sort of cover. It wasn't long until he found his location, he was roughly a minute late and Anko stood with an annoyed expression on her face, while next to her Tadaomi was stiff at attention but without his mask. Next to them was-

Kakashi almost choked at the sight.

"Finally. Get talking, we don't have long to put this into action kid, so I hope you all came up with a hell of a plan." Tsunade gripped.

"Tsunade-sama, you-" Kakashi began.

"Yeah. She's here. She's read in. She hasn't been in the same room as Danzo in decades. We know she's clean. You're late to the party Hatake." Anko cut in.

Kakashi schooled his features and gave a nod. His estimation of their odds just rose dramatically, even if the Sannin didn't fight and just helped to heal the wounded it made their chances of survival raise expeditiously.

"I was given Nono's notes from her procedure on Danzo. Smart girl. Our best shot at taking him down fast is a head shot or taking him by surprise and ripping his whole damn arm off." Tsunade said as she gestured to a stack of papers that had rough sketches and notations with medical terms Kakashi was only vaguely familiar with.

"Good. That means-" Tadaomi started.

"Hold on. That's assuming the notes are right." Tsunade stated.

"Is there doubts on the validity of the notes?" The son of Hiruzen asked.

"Kinda. You dig through the notes and you'll see handwriting that isn't Nono's. Someone was giving her the basic direction of what to do and she was making notes of how to do it. The original notes she was studying were Orochimaru's."

"Shit." Kakashi groaned as he slapped a hand to his face.

"Yeah. I'd believe that Nono believed everything here, but I can't promise Orochimaru didn't leave some misleading information in, so don't be too surprised if thing go wrong with our assumptions." Tsunade stated firmly.

The three of them nodded to the Sannin. They didn't have much time for anything else. The son of Sarutobi, the former student of Orochimaru, the Copy Ninja, and the Legendary Sucker herself all missing or all being seen together would raise eyebrows. The longer they took to discuss things the less likely it would be that they could get a drop on Danzo.

"Plan?" Kakashi asked.

"I approach Danzo with Kakashi and Anko. Claim I have important information about Orochitama attacking. Tsunade-sama hides near by. When we get close, go for the kill. If that fails, Tsunade attempts to take out Danzo. While she keeps him busy, the three of us will take his two guards. Dispatch them quickly then move on to taking out Danzo. Only make an attempt on the arm if you are certain you can go for it. Avoid eye contact." Tadaomi stated concisely.

There was a round of nods again.

"When do we start?" Anko asked.

"Now."

xxxxxxx

Uchiha Obito looked down on Mist and wondered if he was letting his personal feelings cloud his judgement. Mist was a miserable little pisshole and he was well aware that his actions helped to keep it that way. Then again, it's not like he made it that way in the first place either. It was always a bed of treachery and backstabbing even among their fellow Mist ninja. If they had all stopped fighting each other they might have been the most powerful of the hidden villages. In all the Shinobi Wars battle rarely saw the shores of Water Country where Mist resided. They were a series of islands and getting there was a pain in the ass even before you took into account that Mist ninja tended be much better at sinking ships that other villages were at protecting ships.

Still, it was Mist Ninja that had been responsible for Rin's death. Them and Kakashi.

But no. Peace was what he was going for. When he succeeded, it will all have been okay. Everyone will have their own perfect world and for everyone it would be as if no one had lost their loved ones. Even for him, Rin would never have died. Even if it was an illusion, reality was but another illusion. Perception made reality, so what was so wrong with giving everyone a good reality?

If there were less Mist ninja that made it having their own illusions, they'd at least still be alive in someone else's.

Soon.

"Yagura." Obito said coolly as the shell of a Kage sat silently beside him. "You really are an awful Kage."

Yagura didn't respond. He couldn't.

"You don't even put up a fight anymore." Obito continued.

Yagura still didn't respond. He was under Obito's control, but he could at least make the attempt!

"If you're not careful someone is going to-"

Obito cut himself off as the wall beside him bulged and a grotesque body began to grow out of the wall with a torso reminisant of a Venus Flytrap.

"Orochimaru is here!" The creature announced as the flytrap opened to expose a man that was half pure white and half a deep black that went beyond being a human skin tone.

Here? How did he know that Akatsuki was in Mist? Was this just chance?

Or had Orochimaru gotten more out of that exchange with Itachi than Obito had initially believed?

Obito glanced at his puppet. He wasn't ready to extract a tailed beast yet. He could evacuate the jinchuriki but...

"We will stay and watch." He informed Zetsu.

"Not often you get to see a Kage fight." The white side of the Zetsu said.

"Cruelty. You want to watch your toy get destroyed." The black Zetsu noted with something close to pride.

Cruel? He didn't want to be cruel. He just-

Yes. He wanted to see the Mizukage die, to have Mist pay one final price for Rin.

"Zetsu, leave. We can't risk you being killed." Obito ordered, though a part of him noted that Zetsu was already sinking into the wall.

"And you?" Zetsu asked.

"Well, Orochimaru is due his severance package." Or wasn't it her now? It'd be rather rude to keep referring to the woman by the dead name. He wasn't-

He was going to kill the man for betraying Akatsuki. If things started looking bad, he could just leave. No one knew his abilities anyways, so the chances of the Snake Sannin even being able to hurt him were slim. The encounter didn't truly matter.

He just needed to survive.
xxxxx

Notes:

Alright. There it is. Two fights beginning. Three if you count Naruto and Neji. Big stuff is happening!

In other news, if you're looking for my original story it's not going to be on here, it's just going to be on QQ under the name Crossdressing for Fun and Prophecy. Feel free to check it out if you're in the neighborhood.

In separate news, if you all are up to it, this fic was inspired by a series of pictures made by the artist 0lightsource. He's a big artist and his works are often a bit spicy so he gets a lot of messages and I haven't had luck ever letting him know what he created. If you all would like, tag him/message him about this fic to let him know he's to blame for its existence. I just ask that no one do it more than once and to stop by 11/15/22 so he's not getting notifications blowing up about this for an extended period of time.

Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

We moved through the building like a good scalpel, quickly, quietly, and through all obstacles in our way until we reached the Mizukage's throne room. Not an office, like all the other Kage had, but a full on throne room. I had to wonder how much of that was Yagura and how much of it was Obito.

The guards outside the door died in seconds, without any noise or fanfare. One to my sword, one to Zabuza's.

"How do you want to play this?" Zabuza asked quietly.

"Loud." I didn't see the point in going quiet. The throne room was massive and open while there was almost certainly Zetsu or a Uchiha watching. There was no sneaking through that.

Mei gave her consent as well. Mostly because her powerset was best served as loud and proud.

"Mei. Door. Zabuza, give a big welcome. I'll go in for follow up." I whispered again.

The door had various seals on it to reinforce it and to stop people from doing exactly what we were trying to do. Intricate seal work lay on the door and were currently engaged. The average jounin could pound away for an hour at the door to no effect. Mei blew through with a single focused explosion. The door turned to shrapnel and in the same second, a massive water dragon made of water from a sealing scroll roared into the room towards the small child-like figure sitting on the big chair.

A column of coral rose from the ground in front of Yagura and burst the dragon into pieces. The Mizukage's technique smashed aside the A-Rank ninjutsu like a paper ball, but it also briefly blocked his vision of the door. I extended Kusanagi through the rain droplets of the failed water dragon and just as easily cut through the coral and continued it's deadly intent towards the Mizukage's head.

The coral pillar prevented me from knowing if I had hit my target or not, so I played it safe. I twisted the blade down and to the side, hopefully slicing through his body but also cutting through the entire left side of the building.

The coral pillar handled the attack about as well as the wall had; it collapsed and crumbled in seconds. On the throne Yagura sat, his small body and lack of expression making him look like a doll. He was unharmed, but that likely had to do with the figure dressed in a black cloak decorated in red clouds and had a spiral mask with a single eye hole.

Obito.

"Orochimaru. I'm surprised at you. When Itachi humiliated you, I expected you to hide from our organization." He intoned gravely. He wasn't trying to sound like an idiot like he had initially in Naruto.

He intended to claim to be Madara from the beginning.

"Ara ara! There must be some confusion here. I'm not Orochimaru, I'm Orochitama. Someone very different from who I used to be." I said as I retracted Kusanagi and held it loosely at my side. Obito was the major threat here, and he having it in front of me didn't particularly matter, since he could just teleport. I didn't bother trying to attack either, as the man could make himself intangible as well. The only way to hit him was a well timed counter attack, or with something he didn't see coming. "Though it is good to finally meet you, Masked Man."

Obito didn't react to me implying I knew of his existence. I didn't want to reveal my hand and call him Obito. I needed to consider what would happen here if he got away, and calling him Obito would likely have him insure he came after my village immediately. Masked Man was just something the Fourth Hokage used to refer to his last opponent as he died.

"I've heard. You have claimed that you are not Orochimaru, but you have also claimed you are. Which is it, I wonder?" He asked aloud as Mei and Zabuza stepped out either side of me to ensure we all had room to move.

"Both statements are true." I replied easily and with a smile.

Obito stayed silent in response. It must sound very similar to his own situation in his own ears. He was Obito, but he had lived as Madara for more of his life than he had as Obito at this point. The duality of what exists based on perception was not just true of his identity, but his very plan. His goal was to make peace by giving everyone the illusion of it.

"So with this new identity, you decided to help poor pathetic Mist throw off the oppressive yolk of the Fourth Mizukage?" He asked with derision.

"Oh my, no!" I said with a flippant wave of my free hand. "That's why they're here. I'm here for something else."

"Oh?" Obito asked as he stepped forward and space itself began to warp and spiral into the hole in his mask and in the same breath his voice came from behind me. "And why are you-"

He intended it as an intimidation tactic and I could feel his hand reaching out to place his hand on my shoulder. What's the risk to him after all? The moment I went to counter attack he just had to phase himself through it and my own killing intent would inform him of my attempt. I, however, had a plan.

Killing intent was hard for a ninja to work around, but the easiest and best way was simple. Don't intend to kill. Do something that you knew would not hurt them, not even lead them to dying. With high class ninja it was much easier to inconvenience them than go for a kill.

So, without no twitch and with no malice in my heart I leapt backwards towards him. I grabbed the hand that had been reaching forward and with all my not inconsiderable strength, I flung the man out the hole in the wall I had formed earlier. He could phase himself, and even teleport, but he likely wouldn't do either until he had stopped moving. I followed after him immediately and jumped out of the building, landing on the one across the street. Obito landed lightly on his feet as well and cocked his head at me in confusion.

A glowing purple barrier rose up a breath later as the Sound Four fulfilled their orders. Then a second barrier appeared; one to protect them from what was in the building, and one to protect them from what was outside of the building.

Obito stared at me. Not surprising. I'd touched him. That was likely something that an opponent hadn't managed since Minato. I turned his attempt to flex on me, and instead used it to spook him.

"Why?" He asked.

"The narrative. The new Mizukage must be the one to beat the old one. The foreign elements fight each other as the Mist fights Mist and becomes whole." I answered.

"I thought you said you weren't here to unite Mist." Obito asked, falling into a casual stance. I found myself appreciating it. I so rarely had company that even pretended to be casual around me.

"Oh, I do want that, but that's not the primary reason I'm here. Moving you out here was just to help a friend."

"You saw me teleport." Obtio said flately, "I can just teleport back in there and you'll be the one left out here."

I pressed a hand to my chest and gave a happy gasp. "Oh! Would you? I had hoped to get a chance to see what happens when two folded spaces try to move past each other. I wondered if it would just fail, or if the subject just appeared on the other side with their insides all scrambled and shredded." I gave my most eager voice.

Obito again paused, and I happily stayed quiet as the sounds of explosions and the his of melting stone came from the Kage Building behind me.

"You want me to believe that you already know how my powers work?" He asked, unbelieving.

"Well, it took some research, but I managed to get the report on the last moments of the Fourth Hokage. It was dry and sad, but had very interesting things to say about a Masked Man that could teleport, go intangible, and had a Sharingan."

"You lie." Obito stated, but not without a space of hesitation beforehand.

"As I said. I would love for you to test it for me." I purred before growing more serous, "If one knows the mechanics of a technique, it isn't that hard to counter it. The intangibility and the teleportation are the same technique, just used slightly differently. Once that is known, you just need a little knowledge in space-time ninjutsu and sealing techniques and one can come up with a decent counter. However, if you die here, Pein would likely come after me. I'm not prepared for him yet."

Obito went as still and quiet as a puppet hung up by its strings. He was considering what I was saying. Of course he would, I was fucking Orochimaru, no, better, I was Orochitama. I had all the luster of Orochimaru but the benefit of having spent the last several months baffling anyone of power that happened to even vaguely cross my path. He didn't know what to expect of me and most importantly, he never LEARNED his technique; it was innate, it was something that his blood knew how to do, not his mind.

Which was great for me because I just spilled a whole lot of horseshit. I was one of the most knowledgeable people in matters of space-time ninjutsu in the world and I had no fucking idea if our techniques would interact in any way. There were far too many factors that went into things like that and unless I got a chance to study Obito's technique in depth there was no way I could even begin to guess at how exactly it managed to warp reality as it did. Hell, Minato also probably never had the chance to impart all the knowledge of Obito's techniques to anyone. What matter though, was that Obito didn't know that and I'd managed to pull so very rabbits from a hat that he couldn't dismiss that I had another.

I hated giving a pure lie like this though. I misdirected, I implied falsehoods, but in all my time as Tama I never really gave a bald-faced lie. Though that was likely why it would work.

"So, what? You came here just to stop me from interfering?" Obito asked. I kept myself from smiling. He didn't want to test things, he wasn't sure if I was telling the truth, but he wasn't willing to risk it.

"That, and I came here to let you in on a tiny little secret." I said as I idly began to twirl my sword in my grip.

"Oh? And what is that?"

"Just that the Black Zetsu you have employed predates the First Hokage and is running his own agenda. He plans to betray you in the moment of victory to fulfill his own desire."

"What?" He asked, taken aback.

"What can I say? He's got an Oedipus complex."

"How could you possibly know that?" Obito demanded as he leaned forward, his body language radiating aggression for the first time in our confrontation.

"I read a lot." I answered with a shrug and continued to spin my sword.

I had nothing to back what I was saying. The Black Zetsu had been keeping his presence muted for hundreds of years and not a scrap of paper I could find ever so much as hinted at his existence. The only way I knew this was meta knowledge, but if Obito got away or worse, killed me, then the seed of doubt could possibly stop him from making everything worse at the last second like he had in the story from my memories.

"You benefit from causing us to have infighting. I have no reason to believe you." Obito responded.

"Doesn't make what I say less true." I said with a shrug. He wouldn't be able to ignore the seed I planted. He'd watch him closer now one way or another. All I needed to do was give him something to confirm the paranoia with. "He wants to use the technique to bring back Kaguya, his mother and the mother of the Sage of Six Path's and thus the grandmother to Ashura and Indra. Insult her in his presence and he will have a reaction."

Behind me, the battle for Mizukage continued to rage, the sound of explosions and the roar of displaced water sounded loudly through the barrier, and Mist Ninja were starting to approach the barrier. Many of them caught on hesitation of supporting their leader, or go support to the outside edges of the city where Mei's rebels and Kimimaro were fighting. The sight of the occasional spear of bone generally seemed to coax most of them to fighting on the outskirts.

Especially after a few ninja tried to breach my barrier and got a severe case of being-on-fire.

Now, I had my own problem. Obito had to be the one attacking for me to hurt him. He could just stay out of phase with the world and avoid all the attacks I sent after him, or even just decide to leave. The only way I could hurt him was in a counterattack and he didn't seem intent to attack me after I spooked him in so many ways. Hell, I was tossing my weapon around in a way that would be child's play to disarm me, and he hadn't budged to capitalize on it.

I needed to figure out how to get him to attack first.

A problem that I was pretty sure those I set up to fight Danzo in Konoha wouldn't have.
xxxxxx

Shimura Danzo was suspicious by nature, but even were he not, Tsunade calling him to a meeting for just the two of them would have struck him as worrying. Tsunade hated him and never once hid that. It was extremely unlikely the woman would ever purposefully try to spend time in proximity to him regardless of the level of urgency involved. Despite that, today she had asked to meet him in a remote location.

It smelled of an ambush, though that didn't make a lot of sense either. To what benefit would it serve? She had no allies to speak of, and they were both in the bounds of the village. If he were killed, the full force of Konoha would descend upon her in short order. She might get out of the village, but the retaliation after the fact would be epic in scale.

However, it also presented an opportunity. Years ago he had managed to secure the Sharingan eye of Uchiha Shisui, and with that a way to implant memories and control a person's actions regardless of their power and ability, such was the power of the Kotoamatsukami. Tsunade, who spent most of her time outside of Konoha, would be an extremely useful asset to have working for him. People had long stopped watching her closely and that would allow her to once again serve Konoha rather than waste her life drinking and gambling as she did currently.

Thus, he showed up at the meeting point with his two body guards, Torune and Fu. They could easily subdue Tsunade's assistant and have Fu make her forget the incident, not as quickly or as effectively as the Kotomatsukikami, but once he had Tsunade, they could take their time with the apprentice.

Though when he showed up to the meeting point, his paranoia raised further; she didn't have Shizune with her but instead had Sarutobi's son Tadaomi by her side and he wore no mask. He didn't like the situation.

"Why did you call me here, Tsunade?" Danzo called with a glare. Even were this actually innocent, he was not an errand boy that could be called on a whim.

Tsunade approached him with a displeased expression and a casual walk. "I'm not exactly happy to bring this to you either, but it's sensitive and I can't bring this to the Old Man while he's in front of thousands of other people."

Her attitude was typical for her, and her reasoning was sound, but everything was so very convenient. IF something did happen though, he had one other secret as well. His arm was implanted with dozens of Sharigan that he could use to preform Izanagi, a genjutsu so powerful it could warp reality and cure even the most severe of his wounds.

"What is this intel?" He demanded as Tsunade walked yet closer. She was but six paces away.

"Orochitama approached me and I have evidence she's about to attack the exams. She wasn't pretending." Tsunade said, again sounding merely annoyed, but she kept approaching. Torune stepped forward to deter her from getting closer.

"That's close enough." He stated.

Tsunade held up a scroll in response. "I'm just going to hand him-"

She didn't finish. Torune went to stick out a hand to stop the approaching Sannin but two sources of killing intent began to scream at Danzo as the scroll turned to pulp in Tsunade's hand as Torune was pinwheeled away while Tadaomi tacked Fu.

She was attacking him! Why?

An obvious answer jumped to his mind. Orochitama managed to turn her. How?

He had a more concerning problem though. Tsunade could kill a man with even a glancing blow. He needed to release the seal on his arm so he could activate Izanagi!

He leapt back and reached to unseal his arm and-

Screaming lightning sounded behind him and before he could react an electric coated hand severed his right arm at his shoulder. The arm that held all his sharingan eyes.

Then a fist impacted his back, sending him forward. He was old, but he was still good enough of a ninja to not be sent stumbling, but he barely managed to get some space between himself and a Tsunade that was intent on shattering his skull. His only saving grace was that she hesitated.

Hatake was here trying to kill him too. Someone else who had been in contact with Orochitama. What was causing this? Kakashi was a mass of wasted potential, but he was loyal. It was like-

Like his own Kotoamatsukami! He knew that Orochimaru had been in Akatsuki and got kicked out for attacking Itachi. Had he stolen Shisui's other eye? Was that how she was doing all these things?

It was a frightening idea.

He had to push the idea out of his mind. He had a more important decision to make. Though it wasn't much a decision. They had removed his arm before he could unseal it and thus all those reality warping eyes would do him no good. Hell, the arm that Orochimaru had made him out of cloned cells couldn't even bleed and trigger Tsunade's hemophobia. He could chose to fight without it, or use Shisui's eye to trigger Izanagi, something he was loath to do. Izanagi demanded a high price; the permanent destruction of the Sharigan used. Shisui's eye was a treasure and his most valuable asset. He would sooner sacrifice all of ROOT before he would sacrifice that eye.

But he was facing Kakashi, Tsunade, and Tadaomi. He had Fu with him, and Torune, if he was still alive. He wouldn't survive this without sacrificing Shisui's eye. So, with a curse and a flash of chakra, he blurred as he he established an image over reality of him being a dozen feet back and his arm reattached and whole. With a flick of chakra the illusion became reality and Shisui's eye died and the chakra in it died.

"These traitorous actions will not be allowed!" Danzo growled.

Another flash of killing intent had Danzo whirl around at the incoming Matarashi Anko who threw two kunai at him, targeting his just unsealed arm. The knives were easily deflected before she landed next to him and slashed at him with a third. The attack managed to graze his arm as he had to duck to avoid shuriken thrown by Tadaomi, who was again drawn into battle with Fu. The scratch was small and the cloned cells of the arm rapidly closed the wound in a blink of the eye. The kunai might have been poisoned, but the Hashirama cells could make short work of any poison on the planet and he didn't have blood in the arm for it to transmit to the rest of the body anyways. A superficial blow.

"You as well. Unsurprising." Damnzo snorted. Orochimaru was involved in this, his old student finally turning traitor was a matter of course.

"You're one to talk about traitors. Way I hear it, you didn't just go traitor, you tried to go full puppet master!" Anko said snidely as she twirling a kunai in hand.

"Everything I have done is for Konoha!" He growled back. "Someone has to make the hard choices to ensure our safety!"

"Yeah? Well I'm going to make the easy choice for Konoha." Anko snarked back as Danzo noted Tsunade getting into a fight with Torune's bloody form beginning to engage against Tsunade, who stood stiff as a board as the man charged her. Kakashi leapt to fight the man in her steed. "I'm gonna kill an arrogant old ass-hat."

With Tsunade out of play he had a better shot now. Now he just had to face Anko and Anko alone?

"You will try." He intoned.
xxxxx

Notes:

This chapter was a BITCH to write. It just did NOT want to come out. In part because I need to arrange things juuuust right for things to end the way I want them to. That and several IRL things really delayed this. But I hated writing this chapter so much I just ended up writing two chapter of Eternal Paragon, a Mass Effect/Zelda fusion instead of writing this.

I really really hated writing this chapter.

In other news, feel free to join my Discord!

Chapter 45: Chapter 45

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Uchiha Obito felt uncertain. His opponent stood across from him, looking all the world like she was unconcerned about his presence. The same person who just stated some of the best kept secrets in the world casually and with a smile. He had to appreciate it, few had that kind of...panache. It was a show, a play, entertainment, and most of all, a distraction. The issue was questioning what it was meant to distract him from.

"You truly mean to not attack me?" He questioned as he stared her down, hoping for a careless moment for her to make eye contact.

Orochimaru gave a shrug of the shoulder and held up a kunai with a seal wrapped around the hilt. "I can throw this at you if would make you feel better?"

Casual, joking, and a touch of flirting, but his eye couldn't be fooled. His opponent was on guard, and kept her eyes locked below his head or looking at some other object that always kept him in her periphery. There was also her outfit to consider. Orochimaru, even before the transformation into a woman, was loathed to wear the standard ninja uniform and wore it only to war. This was likely the first time anyone had seen Orochimaru in a uniform since the gender change.

Though who could blame her really, if you got it you should flaunt-

No. Focus. His opponent was not someone who could be underestimated. Should he retreat? It was a risk to stay, but Orochimaru was always the type to let information slip when he felt confident.

"What is your real goal? Do you intend to aim your blade at Akatsuki? You will not survive being our primary target."

"I'm just here to make friends! It's not about Akatsuki specifically." Was the response with a tittering laugh.

"Friends? Ha. We both know that Orochimaru doesn't have friends."

The laughter abruptly cut off and an inscrutable expression crossed his opponents face.

"I am not Orochimaru."

"Yes, yes, I've heard you make the claim that you're Orochitama now, but-"

"Want to hear a secret?" Orochimaru abruptly cut him off and didn't wait for a response, "I am Orochimaru, but I'm also not Orochimaru. You see, I had invented a technique to achieve immortality because I was a little bitch that couldn't face the reality of death. This technique allowed me to take over another body whenever my last gets a little worn down. Doing a trade-up if you will."

This...this was not where he expected things to go.

"Well, after I tried to force myself onto Itachi for his body and was sent running off I had to hurry up and try and shove my soul into a Uzu woman of the Setsushi clan in a rushed job."

Setsushi clan? Obito wracked brain for the name, it was distantly familiar and felt important. He read it somewhere, in one of the scrolls of the Second Hokage, they had been called something.

"The Death Clan?" Obito recalled.

"Oh you know of them!" The woman sighed wistfully, "The clan that shared it's secrets with Uzu and the Senju, resulting in the creation of a truly legendary technique that allowed one to summon an aspect of the god of death. Really, it was a dumb idea to put your soul on the line against someone who has an innate connection to that which reaps souls."

Where was this going? Why was she-

"As my soul began to shrivel from my attack I called out to the Death God, and he sent another soul for reinforcement. Thus I helped to protect myself from the attack mounted by me until all those parts blended together in a confusing mass of memory and personality that is Orochitama."

Obito tried to parse the confusing string of thoughts just presented to him. She was claiming to be some amalgamation of three people? It was a ridiculous concept fit for a children's book; or even something that was merely derivative of a children's book!

And yet the next best theory was that Itachi gained a libido and this felt more plausible.

"Why are you telling me all this? What's the point?" Obito asked.

"Well we have to do something to pass the time while Kiri falls." The gestalt of souls in a MILF suit responded sweetly. "Besides I can't really hurt you. I mean I throw a weapon at you like this-" she casually threw the kunai with a seal at him, which he let phase through his body without issue, "-and you'll just do that. Repeat until tired. This seemed like a better way to pass the time."

"Why tell me now? You've clearly hidden that information for months as you acted in mystery. I know for a fact you went to great pains to cloud the perception that you might not be Orochimaru. What changed?" Obito asked.

"I don't need Orochimaru's reputation anymore. I stood in front of an enemy Hidden Village and dared them to attack me. I fought Jiraiya of the Sannin in his Sage Mode on equal footing. I helped to orchestrate the downfall of Mizukage after publicly declaring that I would take down a Kage. I tamed the Demon of the Mist. I don't need Orochimaru's legend anymore because I have my own now."

Reputation? Was that what all this was about? Making sure she had a name outside of the Snake Sannin? If it was true, there was a very important question that needed to be answered.

"What do you need this reputation to do?" He asked suspiciously. When one was the leader of a small village, a fearsome reputation could defend it, but it could also draw ire towards you. If you were a small village, you needed reputation not for yourself, but your whole village. What was the goal?

"Another secret for you." Orochitama stated as she put her hands together in a seal. Obito tensed, but didn't move. He was already out of phase with the world, so nothing could hit him right now.

At least, that's what he thought.

"We've had this conversation while you were phased, meaning that soundwaves still effect you." The woman's smile grew vicious as she pulsed her chakra. "Ototon: Great Sound Field."

The seal wrapped around the kunai that went through him earlier exploded into a screaming wave of vibration at the same time that two other points on the roof did the same, all converging at his location. Despite being out of phase he felt it smash into him, robbing him of his breath and driving him to his knees while his stomach roiled with nausea.

"I have you, Masked-Man-kun." Came the smug gloat.

xxxxx

Hatake Kakashi appreciated a good understatement. There was an art to finely honing an understatement to have the most impact and humor, even if others rarely got his brief moments of mischief. He considered himself a master of understatements, but there was a time and place for them; an appropriate level of understatement.

Casually mentioning you have "some hemophobia" was NOT a good level of understatement when the truth was "I become completely paralyzed in fear at the sight of blood" and you were marching off to go fight a group of extremely dangerous ninja. It was the sort of thing one should MENTION in a briefing for a clandestine and potentially traitorous action, instead of leaving your roguish silver-haired jounin to cover for you as you suffered debilitating flash backs from the most common thing to appear in a fight!

Kakashi deflected a hail of shuriken that made him lunge to the side to protect Tsunade from the oncoming weapons, a few light scratches scoring on him in the process. In a straight fight, he was confident he would have wiped the floor with his opponent, but he kept leveraging Tsunade's life to keep the upper hand. Tadaomi was busy fighting Danzo's other body guard and Anko was doing her all to stay ahead of the faded legend from the time of Sandaime Hokage.

He hoped that Anko at least managed to scratch him.

Kakashi dashed forward while he called forth a spiraling spike of water from a near-by puddle to stab at the Yamanaka under Danzo's employ. He capitalized on the dodge to close in on his opponent, though just as Kakashi began to get close enough to drive a fist of lighting through his chest, the red-head hurled a kunai with a trailing exploding tag at Tsunade.

"Shit!" The Copy-Ninja cursed as he flung a weapon to intercept the attack, letting it spiral in the air for a moment before exploding. The brief second to deflect bought enough time for Yamanaka Fu to dodge to the side far enough that Kakashi would have to scramble even further to have a hope of blocking the next attack.

It was an irritating way of fighting, but if the Copy-Ninja knew anything, it was how to take someone else's technique and get it to work for him, and to do it better. He dashed again, but not to get between Fu and Tsunade, but to have a better shot at another target himself.

"Tadaomi! Interfere!" Kakashi called before running his hands through seals. "Raiton: Raiju Tsuiga!" A hound of living lighting sprung from the Copy-Ninja's hand and dashed not towards Fu, but at the exposed back of Shimura Danzo.

Raiju Tsuiga was one of the better techniques Kakashi had learned, but the focus required often meant he needed to stand still as the technique worked, a risky gambit, but one that payed off as Fu stopped trying to attack Tsunade and instead devoted every fiber of his being into killing Kakashi and to save his master. Fu's blade descended towards Kakashi's neck, but the silver-haired man ignored it to instead stab out with a kick.

Fu's blade was stopped by Tadaomi's own tanto, while Kakashi's foot smashed into the abdomen of Danzo's other body guard, Aburame Torune, as the man tried to attack Tadomi's back. The two grunted in pain and frustration as they were pushed back, though Danzo let out far more than a grunt as the lightning hound pounced on the traitor's back.

The lupine chakra construct bore the man to the ground and bit into his neck until suddenly there was a twist in the air and Danzo's charred form appeared again in striking distance of Anko, pristine and murderous but an eye on his arm closing after being sacrificed to overwrite reality.

Anko swiped at the arm as she scrambled away from the oncoming threat, the kunai scraping across the bizarre white arm filled with eyes, managing to only give it the barest scratch that healed in an eyeblink.

The regenerative powers of the Hashirama cells truly were astounding; he'd only seen their like once before. Not that Kakashi got to marvel at it long as Torune seemed to decide that Kakashi was an easier target in the moment than Tadaomi was and he once again had to defend himself and Tsunade.

"Torune. Fu. Won't you surrender? You know Danzo has committed treason against Konoha. See reason." Kakashi offered while knowing the reply.

"No. Danzo has committed treason for Konoha." Fu intoned without a trace of emotion for something that was likely one of the man's closely held opinions. Though the very fact he responded at all might be evidence of that.

"Then let his actions be known. Now that Shisui's eye is gone we would be happy to merely arrest him and let his crimes be shown to the Hokage. He can argue for himself that what he did was always for Konoha's benefit." Kakashi pressed.

The two glanced covertly towards Danzo who had doubtlessly heard Kakashi, but the man gave no reaction to the words of peace and pressed his attack on Anko, who had dropped any pretense of attacking back and was just trying to not get killed by Danzo's relentless attacks.

Fu and Torune took the unspoken order and squared themselves again to attack Tadaomi and Kakashi.

"Your loyalty and honor is noble." Tadaomi spoke curtly. "I regret that you were not able to have someone worthy of the loyalty."

Then they went back to trying to kill each other, as proper ninjas should. Probably a good thing, since there was a strong possibility that Hiruzen would not have ordered Danzo's execution. Not that it would matter, as they had already won the fight at this point. No matter how the individual fights turned out, they're goals were accomplished.

Except the one for getting the team out alive, that was still up in the air. Getting out alive was vital, he had cute little genin that needed looking after still!
xxxxx

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto said at a very reasonable volume as he approached his team, the two cringing for some reason. Probably saw Sasuke's reflection or something. "Did you see guys!? I rocked that guy!"

"Stop screaming!" Sakura snapped back, bringing Naruto up short. He hadn't been THAT loud. Though the beautiful girl softened immediately after and gave him a smile. "Yes. I saw. You did great Naruto."

Naruto felt the joy stretch across his face at the praise and his eyes slid over to Sasuke.

"Of course you beat him." Sasuke stated and ended it there. No rude remark or how he'd been a dumbass or that the win was something he could have easily done. The bastard thought he actually did a good job too!

"Hehehe. I bet Kakashi-sensei was so impressed he'll treat me to- wait, where is Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, looking left and right. Maybe the man grabbed some of the popcorn and had to hide somewhere to eat it so no one saw his face?

"Kakashi...isn't here." Sasuke said, looking away.

"Eh!? Why!?" Naruto asked aghast. He beat that wind palm guy super well!

"I'm sure it had to be a good reason." Sakura stated hesitantly. "He missed my match too...though it's probably good he missed mine."

"Don't be ashamed Haruno-san. You did well for someone that's been a genin less than a year." A familiar voice piped up.

"Haku!" Naruto and Sakura said at the same time. They were just really in sync like that.

"Sorry, I know this a meeting for your team, I just wanted to come over and congratulate Naruto-kun on his victory." The boy said. It was STILL weird that Haku was boy. He was WAY too pretty.

"Wasn't Zaku your ally?" Sasuke spoke up, glaring at Haku for some weird reason. Haku was totally a friend now!

"Yes, and he did well, but that does not detract from Naruto also doing well. He has improved greatly since our confrontation in Wave." Haku clearly had a grasp of truth.

"Thanks!" He said, then almost complimented his win against Sakura too, but...well she was right THERE.

"Where is Hatake-san? Zabuza-sama requested I give him my regards."

"He had...a mission." Sasuke suddenly spoke up.

Haku stiffened. "I...see. Do you know what sort of mission he was- no, sorry, it's not my place to ask. You'll have to excuse me."

Haku just suddenly turned to walk away. Something about that was fishy, it was like him finding out that Kakashi was on a mission made him worried. Why would Haku get worried over that?

"Do you know something about Kakashi-sensei's mission?" Naruto asked, causing Haku to halt in place but not turn to look back.

"No but...be careful Naruto-kun. There are big things happening today." Haku stated before running off.

"What was that about? What's happening today?"

"I...might have a way of finding out." Sasuke stated, drawing attention to him. "Kakashi gave me a scroll to open later for...if he didn't come back, or if he did and was not himself."

Sakura gasped and Naruto frowned. That sounded complicated and like there was a lot of subtext to things, exactly the kind of stuff that Kakashi-sensei liked to say they should look underneath the underneath, but Naruto was beginning to think that only applied sometimes. Sometimes people just made things too complicated in their own head. Like Orochi Lady! People acted like she was this complex looping...thing but she was really simple!

"Should we...read it?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

"Kakashi said to open it later." Sasuke said, also uncertain.

"That's dumb. Just open it now." Naruto pointed out his wisdom.

"You still have more matches Naruto!" Sasuke snapped back. "What's in here could throw you off your game or distract you or-"

"Who cares about that?" Naruto interrupted. "If it says something that means Kakashi-sensei needs help we go help him. Simple."

"But...the exams-" Sakura began.

"I can become Chunin some other time. We only have one Kakashi-sensei."

The two stared at him in shock for some reason. Weird.
xxxxxx

I stared across the roof at Obito's hunched form. The sound technique being used clearly effected him, but it wasn't effecting him as much as it should. This was the same technique that was used on stone support that collapsed multiple labs and killed several Oto personnel but it mostly just seemed to having a similar effect on Obito as Dosu's gauntlets, which would make sense if his phase just made his inner ear able to receive sound. Still, there was something a tad suspicious about this. It felt too easy.

That might just be my inner nerd talking that felt things needed to follow some form of satisfying narrative and Orochimaru's memories showed quite clearly that was often not the case. Still, no reason to risk things. I had two more tricks up my sleeve after all.

I unsealed a glass beaker overlaid was a particular seal and tossed at Obito's crouch form. The glass shattered when it met the overlapping field of sound and immediately ignited into green smokeless flames that would cling to anything it touched and burned like a discount bin Amaterasu. The bloom of the flame covered Obito's form and-

A blade stabbed into my stomach and Obito's mask filled my vision, my hand weakly grasped the appendage and tugged at it as if trying to get him to remove the knife.

"Sorry! The effect was not as strong as you imagined!" Obito sounded almost giddy.

He was faking. He pretended to be effected so I would let down my guard and it worked. I now had a knife in my liver.

Fuck.

"I don't suppose we can go back to talking?" I choked out.

Notes:

Almost done! Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion! If you need something else to tide you over until that comes out, I recommend two of my other stories. World's Best Supervillain, an original work of mine, and Eternal Paragon, a Mass Effect/Zelda crossover. Both are available on Spacebattles and on Ao3, with World's Best Supervillain soon to make the jump to Royal Road.

Chapter 46: Chapter 46

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Obito couldn't bring himself to be satisfied at the situation. He had expected something to happen, obviously, it was Orochimaru (or whatever the hell Orochitama counted as) and underhanded treachery of surprising cleverness should have been more than expected. The attack had hit him, but only at first and not at full power. His phasing power didn't have only one setting. He could lean further in and out of the real world as needed, and when the attack first hit, he felt it instantly make his ears bleed and the world to sound like high pitched ring even as he leaned further away form the world and sound no longer effected him.

He could still see things, but when he was leaned that far out he wouldn't be able to hear a damn thing, not that he could currently hear anything beyond the ringing of his own ears.

He had ways to get around that though.

"Ara ara, I didn't know you were so eager to penetrate a woman." Orochitama's said, her meaning conveyed by reading her lips with his Sharingan as her hand gripped his arm weakly tried to pull it out. He ignored the attempt with his Hashirama strengthened arm. "Going all in without prepping first is no way to treat a lady, how about easing off a bit and build back up to this?"

Obito gave a snort of laughter. "You're not the only one that can do research. As long as I still have you impaled, you can't just spit out a new copy of yourself, whole and unharmed. You have a juxtahepatic venous injury. You'll bleed out in ten minutes."

As he spoke, there was for but a second, but he saw a smile of triumph cross her. Had his volume been too loud? Did he shout it? He couldn't tell.

The more terrifying prospect would be if there was something he overlooked for her to be smug about. His arm? It was made by Madara of the First Hokage's cells, there was no poison strong enough to effect it and besides, it didn't truly have blood running through it; it subsisted on chakra.

"Ten whole minutes? My oh my, not a bad amount of time, but I think we could go for longer." She leaned back slightly and laughed, using her hand to cover her mouth. She stopped abruptly as he twisted the knife, causing the Snake to flinch, and the movement to cause a deluge of blood to spill from her abdomen.

His position was precarious. The stab wound was clearly effecting her, but he had no doubts as to how effective he would be in the fight if she started to throw out ninjutsu or pull out Kusanagi. He could escape at any time, but to actually kill Orochitama he needed to make sure that the kunai stayed inside her. If she attacked he would need to phase away and dodge, but not pull so far back that he couldn't prevent her from removing the kunai. It would be a dangerous dance, but one that would get easier the longer they fought and the more she moved around, making her lose more blood.

That was the plan. It was a good plan. Much better than what most of the people that went up against Orochimaru or Orochitama came up with.

The problem was that the woman wasn't trying to dodge away. She wasn't trying to counter attack, she just kept looking at him with an air of smug satisfaction.

It was unnerving.

"You've just decided to let yourself die then? Admitted defeat?" Obito asked doubtfully, watching her for any sort of reaction to piece together what was going on.

"This arm. I have to admit, it's amazing. No blood, and yet it manages to hook up to your neuron system enough to control it well. Tell me, can you feel things with it still? Can you still feel a warm cup of tea in your hand in the morning the same way? Can you feel the cold caress of water on your fingertips as they glide on the surface tension of water?"

Obito blinked in surprise. Where was this going?

"Why?" he asked.

"These are important questions that you should ask, Mask-kun. Can you still feel the worn safety of a well used tool? The individual strands on your head as you run it through your hair when you're tired?"

Her face looked so sad. So...pitying.

"Can you feel the love, when another hand grasps yours?" She asked at practically a whisper.

His constructed hand was a wonder. If anything, it had better tactile ability than his previous one, and yet, unbidden, he croaked, "No. I can't."

What was he even doing? He didn't even need to fight her. Why didn't he just-

He twisted the knife a bit more and growled, "Why are you asking these questions?"

His opponent heaved a sigh. "Well, your arm isn't the first I've seen like that. Years ago, I was hired to build a very similar arm for a very old and very angry man. He wasn't one to give that kind of feedback. I'm curious how it actually feels."

She made something similar before? Was she implying she had some way to hurt him through it? It was doubtful, the Hashirama cells weren't just the First's level of regeneration, but they had been modified to be even more effective and full of life than what the original Hashirama had. It was doubtful that would be a method of attack.

Was she distracting him from something? Delaying him from something?

"Come now, Mask-kun. Talk to me, it's a shame to die with regrets." She said, not with a teasing look on her face but with a sad and regretful expression on her face. If he could hear, he knew he'd be able to hear a deep sadness in her voice.

He wasn't sure what to do with that. Was it a trick to get him to back off? Did she seriously think she had already won?

"What is your game here?" He asked.

"No game." She said with a shake of her head. "That would imply that this was fun or that you had a chance."

A shiver ran down his spine and his arm began to itch.
xxxxxxx

When Shimura Danzo realized something was wrong, it was too late. He first noted the issue when a lucky attack from Tadaomi managed to slip through his body guards to strike him and he activated Izinagi to bring himself back. The technique worked, but as soon as it happened the eye he used pushed up and out of the arm with a wet pop.

"Ha. About time." Anko said smugly.

"W-what did you do?" Danzo asked, staring at his arm in shock.

"Me? I just killed an arrogant gas bag of a traitor. He doesn't know it yet, but he's already dead." She replied as she jumped at him, smelling blood in the water.

Danzo began to scoff at her words, but the derision died in his throat. His arm began to warp before his eyes as it began to swell and small knots of flesh began to dot up his arm and something began to feel wrong in his chest. Instantly, Danzo used up another Sharingan eye to warp reality and his arm again appeared whole and unharmed.

"I don't know what technique that was, but it was an exercise in-" Danzo's tone faded as he again noticed his arm begin to swell and the same lumps of flesh began to form.

"What was that you were saying?" Mitarashi gloated with smugness.

Fear gripped his heart as the pain in his chest began to intensify. Something was very wrong. He had to get away, find someone who could treat him, or have a moment to figure out the issue himself. He ran through hand seals rapidly and in a puff of smoke, his Elephant-like summon appeared, trumpeting its battle cry as Danzo turned to make his escape.

"Hey, get back here! I'm not done with-" The Snake Traitor's student yelled, only to be silenced by the roaring wind of his summon.

Then, Danzo turned and ran, gaining distance and healing his wounds by burning yet another Sharingan eye. He refused to die here, killed at the hands of young whelps! He just had to figure out what was wrong!
xxxxxxxx

I did my best to hide my pain, though I wasn't sure why. At this point, crying out in anguish and letting my pain show wouldn't change the outcome of the fight. I just had to confirm my plan was effective.

Plan A wasn't a complete failure. I had managed to figure out that Obito was currently deaf on the sheer basis that he didn't react to anything I said if I covered my mouth as I said it. He could be faking it, but I was confident he wasn't, judging by his terrible job of controlling his own volume. The sound waves had effected him, but to a greatly lesser degree than I expected.

Plan B was likely to end things though.

"You know, I'm trying to make my village change to make the world a better place." I said suddenly, causing my opponent to tilt his head in confusion at the abrupt statement. "Yet all the things that I did before I was Orochitama seemed set to take anything good I made and turn it into a weapon."

I kept my grip on his arm, the one full of Hashirama cells that pressed the blade into my liver. Bleeding out was possible, but the larger concern for me was the contaminant in my liver spreading to the rest of my body. Not as severe of a concern for the average person, but it was a concern with some of the body modification I had done.

Super livers came with risks.

"The Shinobi World is made of blood and death, your hands embody those more than most. It is no surprise that anything you made would be tainted as well." My opponent sneered.

There! I felt it. The skin in arm began to swell! Good, I couldn't be sure that it would work on his variety of Hashirama cells. I was confident enough to bet my life on it, but it was nice to see it rewarded.

"How rude! I'll have you know my hands can do all sorts of things!" I said with a flirtatious wink before snakes began to pour out from my sleeves to bite at the Uchiha. The snakes passed through him and I juked back into a low spin, lowering myself to the ground even as I ripped the kunai out of my gut. Obito dove after, a new kunai fresh in hand and stabbing at me in an eyeblink. I didn't attempt to block him, and instead flexed my chakra and used the Skin Shedding technique. As Obito's knife fell, it was into an empty husk of a body as a new and unharmed one pulled itself out of the husks mouth.

The Skin Shedding technique was one I didn't like to use often. It required days of preparation before hand to have the technique ready, and even when I used it, it ate at my chakra heavily. A fifth of my total chakra pool disappeared in an instant.

Obito dove after me, phasing through the freshly stabbed husk to make another attempt at my body proper. I made no attempt to block, but instead dipped like a dancer over the oncoming attack and stepped straight towards his body and gave a spin through the body as he phased through me, leaving me at his back. Rather than stay and risk me pulling something, space curled and spiraled in towards his eye as he disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the roof, staring at me with a judging eye.

Then he winced.

"You see, Mask-kun, I tried to find a cure for cancer. Are you familiar with it?" I asked.

He stared at me in silence before his gaze slid over towards his arm, his body moving stiffly.

"I didn't manage to cure it, unfortunately, but my men did find a method of making it. You see, cancer is when the cells in your body multiply at a greatly advanced rate, making too much of themselves to the point it harms the rest of the bodies processes. Turns out, with the right chakra techniques and chemical combinations you can create something that starts cancer in someone." I informed as Obito began to grasp at his arm.

Poor kid.

"The scientist that discovered it was very insistent on weaponizing it, despite my orders. Thankfully, he never managed to make anything that could accomplish the horrors he sought to create, but it was enough for me to step in and finish it. The funny thing though, is that in a normal person, cancerous cells pop up all the time and the body can often find the defective cells and finish them off before they become too much of an issue."

"The Hashirama Cells." Obito said in mounting horror.

I gave a somber nod. "Yes. Once they kick off, your body can't defend against it. The cells multiply too quickly and by the time you see the effects the cells will have begun to spread into the rest of your body, multiplying as quickly as they can. It will not be a pleasant way to go."

"You let me stab you. You got your poison on me when you grabbed the hand that stabbed you." Obito stated, but I could hear the question in it.

"Who knows? Maybe you breathed it in?" I offered. He was correct in the administration, but I still wasn't certain this would be the end of Obito. There was a lot of bullshit in this world and Obito had access to multiple flavors. If I needed to fight him again, it would be handy to make him leery of multiple forms of poison administration.

Though on the other hand, the only reason he hadn't left as soon as he noticed something wrong with his arm was the curiosity of what I had to say. The longer he sated that curiosity, the harder it would be for him to survive.

"How did you know all this!? How could you possibly have planned for all this!?" He demanded.

"We don't have to fight you know. We can change the world for the better. I'm not stupid, I know the importance of strength of arms, but the more you sow seeds of anger and hate the more you will reap a harvest of blood. The only real way to change people is to touch their hearts and minds, but back it with the power to back your convictions." I said in lieu of answering his question. "The answer is not the path of Indra or the path of Ashura, it is both. You need the balance of both."

"You know even that?" He gasped.

His eyes stared at me in fear, a terror that could be so very useful to me and I felt myself be of two minds about what to do about that fear. My caution screamed that it was best to not spook him too much, as it would risk me becoming his biggest priority to kill. Another part of me reveled in the fear and knew that if he feared me enough, he'd leave me alone on the sheer basis of that terror.

My mouth decided before my heart or mind could agree.

"I know everything," I said as I leaned forward, a wicked smile on my face as my voice became and deadly rasp, "Obito-kun."

His eye widened in shock and in a moment, space twisted around him as he disappeared, leaving only the scent of fear on the wind.

I was confident he wasn't coming back today.

I let out a shaky breath and ran a hand down my face. "Well, lets hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass."

Then a roar shook the air as the primal power of raw chakra of a tailed beast shook the world unfiltered through a human. I didn't even need to turn to know that Yagura had been killed and the Sanbi had been released, I could feel it in the very air and just the roar of the creature made the barrier of the Sound Four vibrate, something I wasn't even aware the chakra construct could DO.

The Mist Ninja knew it too and they began to run away from the barrier rather than towards it.

It took but a signal for my men to briefly open a hole in the barrier to let me through the building at the same hole I had left. The cathedral-like room looked drastically different than it had previously. For one, it let in much more natural light which worked to illuminate twisted masses of pink coral and the steaming masses of cooled lava. Zabuza and Mei stood gasping for breath and staring up at the giant form of Isobu in abject horror.

"Zabuza, Mei, you did wonderful. Allow me to take over." I announced as I walked forward.

"I- guess-" Zabuza gasped heavily between each word, "I- could let you- get this."

I walked past the two and stared at the Three Tailed Turtle in awe; its presence, its size, it was magnificent. The air quaked with it's chakra that filled even my mediocre sensing abilities like a big brass band, but the tiny details of its form was what really did it. The texture of it made it seem so much more real than any picture ever could; it was not smooth lines, but living texture with divots and scratches of a life lived.

"Hello Isobu, I mean you no harm, I wish only to speak." I offered before starting to step forward, arms stretched to my sides to show I was disarmed and not a threat, though I glanced back towards the two terrified Jounin behind me. "Mei-chan, it might be best if you left to take control of the things. If you stay, you might hear some things you'd rather not know."

She hesitated only a moment before she left to take control of Mist.

Zabuza didn't follow. I raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"I still work for you right now, and I admit, I'm a bit curious." Zabuza answered with a shrug.

"Very well." I acknowledged before turning back to the force of nature before me.

He lowered himself towards me, an eyeball larger than my whole body examined me from mere feet away. I smiled and gave a jaunty wave.

"You...you are the one Shukaku mentioned." Isobu said with a voice like the crashing of a tsunami.

"Oh! He passed that on? Lovely, I hoped he would let his siblings know." I knew that the Tailed Beasts had a connection to each other and communicate with one another even when sealed in a Jinchuriki, but I wasn't sure if Shukaku would pass on the info from our brief powwow when I fixed Gaara's seal.

"You know of Father." Isobu stated.

"I do." I answered with a nod. "And your human siblings, Ashura and Indra, have been reborn again, but the important bit is that Kaguya's plans are about to come to fruition through an organization called Akatsuki. However, I have a plan."

I kept a pleasant smile on my face through the tense silence that followed. I could feel Isobu waring with the idea of just trying to squash me there and then, but he didn't.

"Speak." Isobu finally announced.

So I told him.
XXXXXXX

Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura dashed through the trees at breakneck speeds. They had read the scroll and Naruto wasn't totally sure he understood everything it had to say, but he got the gist. The guy Sasuke always had a hate-boner for had somehow had help to kill all of Sasuke's family, or at least he had taken their bodies and took their eyes for himself.

In Naruto's book, that was pretty messed up and the kind of thing their Sensei might need backup for. So he'd sent some clones to find Bushy Brow's Sensei or the Pervy Sage to let them know what was going on while they chased after Sasuke's puppy. The small ninja dog had picked up Kakashi's scent and they chased after it.

"Hey, Sakura." Naruto whispered to his girl teammate as they doggedly followed after Sasuke's summon. It was handy and all, he guessed, but he was pretty sure the dogs didn't have a giant summon like his toads did. He couldn't wait till he had a moment to show Sasuke that he could pull out awesome fighting summons that were way better than his dumb puppy. Still, now wasn't the time for that. He still had some questions. "I get the eyeball bit, but what's the big deal about the Hash Ramen Spells the letter talked about."

"Hashirama Cells!" Sakura yelled back at him.

"Yeah, that's what I said. What's so special about them?" Naruto pressed.

"Hashirama. The First Hokage. He was known to have a bloodline that allowed him to rapidly heal and hold great amounts of chakra." Sakura snapped back at him.

"Oh. A Hokage. That makes sense." Naruto replied and thought the statement over.

Improved healing? More chakra? That sounded like him. But...that must mean...

He had the qualities of a Hokage! Hell yeah!

It probably wasn't the time right now, but he should totally point that out later when-

Sasuke abruptly stopped ahead of him, and Naruto had to divert himself to avoid running into his broody teammate, resulting in him gracefully smashing into the branch with his diaphragm, knocking the wind out of him for a moment.

"What is it, Masayoshi?" Sasuke asked, before shooting Naruto an unimpressed look, the bastard.

The puppy yapped twice and pawed at the branch they stopped on.

"What's that mean?" Sakura asked.

"Does he have to go take a shit?" Naruto asked as he scrambled up onto the branch.

"He smells blood." Sasuke's dark eyes darted around the forest, Sharingan eyes spinning as he gazed at the forest like hawk. "Guard up. We're close to whatever it is that's going-"

An old man burst into the clearing below them, his sagging skin dripping with sweat and his body heaving, but the finer details fell away as all eyes fell to his arm. The appendage barely looked like an arm at all; it looked mangled and bulged unnaturally at points that didn't even seem to coincide with where muscles would be, it was colored a shade of gray that should never be found on a human and amidst the malformed flesh red spinning eyes peaked out between the flesh.

"Hey, I think that's-" Naruto began as Sasuke moved.

Sasuke rocketed towards the man and gave a shout.

"Katon: Great Fireball Jutsu!" Sasuke shouted a plume of fire obscured Naruto's vision of the old man.

"Sasuke! We were supposed to talk first!" Sakura shouted out, aghast.

"Too late now!" Naruto chirped and threw himself after Sasuke.

The fireball abruptly shattered and a wave of wind jostled the trees. The old man stood in place with not hint of being singed.

"The Jinchuriki and the Uchiha." Danzo growled, and Naruto's blood ran cold.

"Jinchuriki?" Sasuke muttered before glancing at Naruto before shaking his head and shouting, "You'll pay for desecrating the bodies of my clan!"

Sasuke dashed forward, loosing a barrage of shuriken ahead of him that spiraled around each other in a confusing pattern as they closed in on the old man. The old guy made a single hand sign in response and released a torrent of wind from his mouth that sent the projectiles flying back at them while also sending them stumbling at the wall of pressure hitting them. Sasuke stumble on his approach and one of his own shuriken scored a hit on his cheek.

"Stupid children." The man growled. "You interfere in that which you don't understand! I am Shimura Danzo, student of the Nidaime Hokage! Stop this foolishness, or I will kill you."

The guy was right, Naruto knew. Maybe not for Sasuke and Sakura, but he was well aware he didn't really know what was going on or why all this was happening. There was a lot of politic stuff and history shit here.

But Naruto didn't give two shits about that.

"Where is our Sensei?!" Naruto shouted as he pointed an accusing finger.

"He dragged his students into this? How irresponsible." Danzo scoffed before grunting and clenching at his chest near his right shoulder, but his eyes stayed focused on them. "Such a waste of talent."

"Hey! Kakashi-Sensei is great! Way better than you!" Naruto yelled as he crossed his fingers and summoned a mob of Shadow Clones.

"I see he passed his weakhearted nonsense on to you." Danzo growled as his non-deformed hand grasped the very air before swinging his hand as though he had grasped a sword and used it to cut an invisible enemy in front of him.

The only thing the saved Naruto and Sasuke was the warning of the charging Shadow Clones being destroyed in a wave of destruction that released just enough warning for Sasuke to tackle Naruto to the ground.

That was close! Naruto took a glance to make sure no one was hurt- wait, where was Sakura? A glance around the clearing didn't show her anywhere.

"Focus idiot!" Sasuke barked.

"But-" Naruto began.

"Surround him with clones! All angles!" Sasuke shouted back over him. The bastard kept doing that every time he started to talk about-

Oooooooh. Okay.

"You got it! Mass Shadow Clone Technique!" Naruto shouted, flexing his chakra to summon as many clones as he could, the puff of smoke obscuring the clearing for but a moment before more than a hundred Naruto's grinned with ill intent.

"You think that you can beat me with mere-" Danzo began before blood erupted from his mouth as he gave a coughing hack and fell to one knee.

"Wow...I didn't realize I was that impressive." Naruto noted.

"Idiot. It's from him fighting Kakashi-Sensei!" Sasuke shouted before dashing forward and an army of Narutos followed after him with battle cries of their own.

Danzo stayed on his knees the whole time, barely reacting to the oncoming threat, then, when he was a hair's breath from being stabbed by the oncoming hoard, the man suddenly just...disappeared.

"Hey, where did he go?" Naruto asked.

Then there was an explosion of wind that tore through his clones and sent both Sasuke and he tumbling and suddenly he was there, his arm looking mostly normal now and not a shred of the blood he had spat out earlier. His now imposing form bearing down on Sasuke. There was nothing Naruto could do to stop his teammate from being snatched up by his neck.

"If I am to die," Danzo began, giving another panting breath as he ignored Sasuke's desperate attempt to pry the fingers away from his throat, "I can at least insure your accursed blood does not spread."

Sasuke smiled in response.

"What are you-"

Then the spool of ninja wire on Sasuke's hip went taut, the other end in Masayoshi's mouth pulled tight around a nearby tree, the wire popping up between Danzo's legs, causing him to lurch to the side to avoid having his family jewels being ripped apart, but it left him unbalanced and still hoisting a vindictive Uchiha in one hand.

Sasuke used the arm gripping him as leverage to level a chackra-enhanced kick into the side of Danzo's head, making the man stumble backwards and giving the ninja wire more slack. Slack that Sasuke used to wrap the wire around Danzo's unnatural arm. Using Danzo's face as a springboard, Sasuke wretched himself from Danzo's grasp towards the ground. The Last Uchiha used the motion to yank the ninja wire with as much force as possible, making the wire shred the skin of Danzo and-

Danzo disappeared again and Sasuke rolled forward, just avoiding being hit by yet another blade of wind and Danzo reappeared, again unharmed, yet haggard and breathing harder than ever, the tired traitor taking a glance at his arm.

"You're down to one." Sasuke smugly stated with a hoarse voice that devolved into hacking coughs.

"One what?" Naruto asked as he sent another wave of clones towards their foe, giving his teammate time to recover.

"The eyes, on his arm. One closes every time all the damage goes away." Sasuke croaked as he rose again on his feet and the beginnings of a nasty bruise formed on Sasuke's throat.

Naruto squinted and realized that Sasuke was right. The arm only had one eyeball on it now. That was good enough as proof for him!

"So what's the plan?" Naruto asked, only to throw himself to the side as a wave of slicing wind went for his feet. That kept happening for some reason, this Danzo guy didn't seem to like his arms or legs cause that was the only part of Naruto he kept targeting. Though he clearly didn't have the same opinion about Sasuke, because the brooding Uchiha barley dodged a wind attack of his own and was left with hair a finger-length shorter.

"Stall him. The poison or whatever is killing him. He can undo the damage with the eyes, but if we wait him out it'll kill him eventually." Sasuke answered.

A look of constipation crossed the old guy's face at those words and Naruto adopted a mad grin. This guy could destroy his clones almost as soon as Naruto could summon them, but he was willing to bet he could summon waves of clones for longer than the other guy could fight them.

"Let's go!" Naruto shouted, summoning another storm of Shadow Clones to rush the old guy. They died in mere steps. Whoever this guy was, he threw around more power than Kakashi or Zabuza ever did. So, he sent another wave, only for them to meet the same fate in a hurricane of wind that forced Naruto to cling to the ground with his chakra to avoid being blown away, the stabbing wind blocking his view of anything until a hand burst from the cyclone. Naruto scrambled back to avoid it, but the normal hand of his enemy managed to grasp the front of his jacket and haul him up in the air.

"Konoha can't lose the Beast. Though anything short of death can be-" The man began, his words vaguely slurred.

Naruto didn't let him finish and raised his arms up and allowed himself to fall out of the jacket back onto the ground.

"Here!" Sasuke shouted, and at once, Naruto understood.

He dashed forward and slid along the ground even as he summoned a small handful of clones behind him.

He slid between the old man's legs, an act that wouldn't be possible if his weird robe thing hadn't already been so damaged that he passed through it with nary a snag.

"Uzu!" Two clones shouted as they continued their shoulder charge into Danzo, sending him stumbling backwards and tripping back over Naruto's crouched form behind his legs. Still, this Danzo guy was skilled, because he didn't end up on his ass and instead completed a full backflip and stumbled a few more steps.

The two clones that had slammed into him reached back and grabbed one clone each and assisted them in a leap forward.

"Maki!" The air born clones lashed out with a kick towards their foe, who blocked with raised arms and barely kept his footing. The duo of Shadow Clones stuck their tongues out with a mocking "Bleh" before they disappeared in a poof of smoke, and Naruto's real body burst through the smoke with a full body punch that caught Danzo square in the nose, sending the man stumbling back the last few steps to where Sasuke had indicated.

"Naruto Charge!" Naruto triumphantly named his combo.

The sound of ninja wire being drawn taut sounded one second, and the next the line of death snapped up to ensnare Danzo's neck. The old man raising the unnatural grey hand of the Hashy Ramen Cells being the only thing that stopped his throat from being instantly opened.

Danzo blinked, seeming confused by what was happening more than afraid as the wire cut into his hand and the back of his neck.

"What is this?" the bloodline thief asked, his voice slurring to an even greater extent.

Then an explosion sounded above them, and a tree limb three times Danzo's size began to fall from the canopy towards him, vaguely burning near its base.

Danzo glanced up, and even without any hand-signs, blew out a Wind jutsu that reduced the falling limb into a hail of splinters. To be able to do that without a single hand-sign was an amazing feat that truly made Naruto believe that the old guy was actually trained by a former Hokage.

Though it didn't matter, as the tree limb wasn't the only thing falling from the tree tops. Sakura fell from the sky like an avenging angel, pink hair fluttering in the wind as she landed next to Danzo, kunai in hand. The old guy blew one more burst of wind that managed to only take a chunk out of Sakura's hair as she fell and didn't stop her a bit from rising up and plunging her kunai into the last eye on Danzo's arm.

"No! What have you done!? I'll die! Without me, Konoha will fall! I have to-"

"Die." Sasuke announced, drawing Naruto's attention. The wire that was still wrapped around Danzo's hand and neck had been pulled up and over a low hanging branch and was then tied off about three meters up on another tree.

A tree whose base was covered in exploding tags.

"Kai!" Sasuke called and with a deafening explosion the tree began to snap and break, slowly tilting is heavy mass away from their position.

Danzo began to panic and quickly tried to raise a hand to yank at the wire wrapped around, but his movement was sluggish and the grasping hand completely missed the wire with it's grasp. The tree released a thousand echoing cracks before tipping over and falling, pulling the ninja wire abruptly.

All at once, a traitor was hung from a tree.

Notes:

Phew! That's the end of combat! God damn was that chapter difficult to write! Sorry I missed last month, but I hope the fact that this chapter is almost twice the length of a normal chapter makes up for it? With this, the last of the combat for Orochimama is done before it goes on hiatus. There are still a hand full more of chapters dealing with the fallout and setting up Orochimama Shippuden, but it's coming. Let me know what you think!

Chapter 47: Chapter 47

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hatake Kakashi stared up at the bloody husk that was once Shimura Danzo hanging from a tree by the neck. Well, what was left of the neck anyways. It had been savaged viciously by having the entire weight of a tree being used to pull it taut. It was a wonder Danzo's whole head hadn't been removed.

"Damn Hatake. They never did anything this fun during my exam." Anko commented. He didn't bother turning towards her to see her shit eating grin, he could hear it fine in her voice.

Kakashi gave a hum of acknowledgment, he just didn't have it in him for much more than that.

"Who pissed in your cereal? They killed him. That's impressive!" Anko pressed.

"Too impressive. Danzo was way more powerful than they would have a hope in even surviving. When he found them he must have already been mostly dead. They were incredibly lucky, because if they met him one minute earlier he would have been able to take all of them out before anyone would have been able to do anything."

The worst part was that it was his fault. He hadn't expected them to be able to find him, since Masayoshi shouldn't have had enough training yet to be capable of tracking a target moving on the treetops like he had been. Sasuke's summon apparently had that spark of genius too. Still, he should have known that he couldn't dangle information about the death of Sasuke's family and just expected the boy to sit still.

This was on him.

Kakashi glanced down at his genin, who were all three debating with each other on what to do next. They hadn't gotten far into the debate either, meaning they'd probably arrived mere seconds after the brats managed to kill the S-Class shadow leader of a fanatical group of indoctrinated assassins, who was also personably responsible for ordering the massacre of one of said brat's family.

Not that Sasuke actually KNEW Danzo was responsible. He just thought the man he killed was profiting off their deaths. He got his vengeance and didn't know it yet.

Of the three, only Naruto seemed to be emotionally affected by the death they just dealt. Sasuke was arguing they should press forward, Sakura was saying insisting that they should send up a flare and let allies know where to find the body and mostly seemed to be trying to not look and macabre tree decoration, but it was Naruto that stared up at the body with a troubled look on his face, something clearly building in him as his teammates argued over what to do.

"Guys! He was still a person!" Naruto yelled angrily. "We should cut him down and find someone to take care of the body. It's...it feels wrong to just leave it hanging."

"Mah. Let's not get too touchy with him." Kakashi said after he leapt behind his students.

"Sensei!" The three yelled in surprise at his sudden appearance, well, except for Naruto.

"Wha- but it feels...wrong to just leave a person-" Naruto tried.

"He was poisoned with a powerful and experimental poison and there is a strong possibility he has suicide seals on him. Touching him is a bad idea." Kakashi interrupted.

It would likely be fine, but if the poison worked on those with enhanced healing then there was a strong possibility it would work on Naruto as well. He couldn't risk it. The warning was potent enough that all three kids took two large steps away from where the body was hanging.

"Though trussing him up in a tree? Fucking art." Anko commented as she appeared between Sasuke and Sakura and invaded their personal space with a hand seizing a shoulder each and pulling the two genin into herself.

"Wha-"

"Eek!"

Anko ignored their cries as her voice choked up, "It's just so beautiful. I finally have hope for the next generation."

The two genin struggled to get out of the woman's grip, which Anko allowed, but she didn't stop gushing. "A traitor, hung up by the neck from a tree, by genin no less! God damn poetry!"

Kakashi looked away from the spectacle and tapped the radio in his ear three times to signal to the others Danzo had been taken care of before throwing a shuriken to cut the ninja wire, letting Danzo's body fall to the ground.

"Sasuke." Kakashi called to his student before nodding towards the body. "Would you like the honors?"

The body had bits and pieces of his family surgically added to it. The boy was allowed that closure.

Sasuke looked back in question before a look of understanding crossed his face.

"Hey, what's going on? What's he doing?" Naruto began to ask, only for Sasuke to answer the question by running through seals and a ball of fire roaring out towards the corpse. "Whoa, what? Why did you do that?"

"The poison used on this body is dangerous. Too dangerous. We can't risk someone taking the body and finding a way to reverse engineer it." Kakashi answered. "Plus, Danzo was a very paranoid man. There is no telling what nasty surprises he put into his body to kill those that killed him."

"But we're still in Konoha." Naruto pointed out.

Kakashi considered that statement and he had to acknowledge that the kid had a point, but the events of the last few months had made him pessimistic about the likelihood of the body having some dark secret in it that would come to bite him in the ass.

Plus there was something very satisfying about watching the body burn, though perhaps that was a sign that he really did need to start taking a few more breaks. He didn't often feel this vindicated with the death of another.

"Why are the brats here?" Tsunade asked as she entered the clearing with gravitas and a boldness that felt very inappropriate for a woman that he just had to babysit for the entirety of the last battle.

"They killed him!" Anko shouted as she squeezed Sasuke and Sakura to herself again.

"Please stop touching me." Sasuke stated with the suffering of a wet cat.

"You're that old lady that kept meeting with the Pervy Sage!" Naruto shouted while pointing an accusing finger.

"I"m not old- wait, what the hell are you doing here kid? Aren't you supposed to be in the tournament!?" She demanded.

"Well we found out Kakashi-sensei was in trouble, so we had to head here and help, so I left." Naruto said with a simple shrug.

"God damnit!" Tsunade shouted and lashed an arm at a nearby tree, which exploded in a shower of splinters making the collected genin's eyes widen in shock. "I bet 300,000 ryo on you!"

The clearing got extremely quiet after the multiple tons of tree finished falling after the declaration. Kakashi couldn't bring himself to say that betting on Naruto was foolish, as the kid had a decent shot at winning the whole thing, if only because he had the sheer stamina and healing to be relatively fresh by the end of the tournament in comparison to everyone else. He was also the kind of dark horse bet that Tsunade was a sucker for.

Tadaomi entered the clearing with a statement that broke the silence.

"Karma." The quiet man muttered.

Tsunade shot the Sarutobi an angry look.

"Right, well it's time to face the music. I'll go take the kids in and explain what's happeneing. Someone stays here and makes sure the body stays burning, and Tsunade gets to explain to the Sandaime that we just murdered his oldest friend." Kakashi cut in as he began to gesture for the genin to follow him.

"Me? Why do I have to be the one to explain it?" She demanded.

Anko and Tadaomi joined in on staring Tsunade down.

"A MILD phobia?" Kakashi demanded and Tsunade had the good graces to look embarassed, even if it was only for a fraction of a second.

xxxxxxx

"You won't get anything out of me."

Yakushi Kabuto laughed at the irony, though his prisoner failed to find the humor. How could he? The man had very different ideas on why he was there.

"You sure he's one of them?" Nono asked.

"Yes-" Mother, Kabuto willed himself to say it. She was his mother and he wanted nothing more than to be able to casually call her as such in conversation. "Nono, I checked his tongue myself."

He mentally cursed himself for it, though his mother caught the hitch and knew why it happened. She placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile.

He would get better at it.

Still, he had other things to focus on, like the man in front of him. The man was the very image of the phrase 'slightly below average'. He wasn't very good looking, he was just a little short, and his hair landed somewhere between black and brown. The perfect ROOT agent. He didn't stick out and was extremely forgettable.

It was too bad for him that Kabuto had many ways of sniffing out one of Danzo's hoard.

"He didn't have that seal when I was alive. How does it work?" Nono asked, making conversation. Kabuto personally knew for a fact that it had been explained to her previously but he understood why she asked.

She was trying to be social and enjoy the time with him. He appreciated it.

"The seal makes it so that the agent can't speak of Danzo or any of his operations. It can also be used to give debilitating pain. I am uncertain to the underlying mechanics though I do know that some documents stolen from the Hyuga on the Caged Bird Seal were used as the basis for the creation of this seal."

"Really? I doubt the Hyuga will be happy about that when it comes out." Nono noted.

"Yes, though it is inferior in some ways, such as-"

The man in the chair suddenly flinched and a look of utter heartbreak crossed his face.

"No." The prisoner's words like shattered glass.

A smile graced Kabuto's face.

"Was that it?" Nono asked in interest.

Kabuto grabbed the man in the chair by his face and forced his mouth open to allow a view of the tongue and saw only a perfectly healthy and unmarked tongue.

"Yes. There is no seal now." Kabuto replied, as joy filled him. He rushed to Nono and enveloped the woman in a hug as they both began to bubble with laughter that drowned out the soft cries and denials from the man in the chair.

"He's dead!" Nono shouted triumphantly.

Finally. The man responsible for ruining both their lives had paid for his crimes with his own. The only way the seal would have disappeared was if the person who applied it died, and the two had been waiting for hours for confirmation on the death of the bane of their existence.

Kabuto practically skipped to the door to the door. "Come, I have some fine quality sake in my room."

"Can I even get drunk?" Nono asked as she gestured to the black eyes of her resurrected form.

He knew the answer was no.

"We can certainly try." Kabuto said as he offered an arm to escort his mother. He was so giddy he almost didn't ensure that the cell locked behind them as they left.

"How did you get yours removed by the way?" Nono asked him as they walked.

"Oh, you just have to cut that part of your tongue off and then just heal it afterwards." Kabuto said dismissively before an interesting question came to him.

"So do you think he died to the cancer or did they get him some other way?" Kabuto personally was hoping for death via the cancer slowly suffocating him, but he wasn't picky.

"I was hoping for rectal trauma personally." Nono offered.

"Interesting? Expound please." Kabuto encouraged.

It was important for family to spend time together talking about shared interests.

Besides, he'd had to skulk around at a fancy wedding all day, which meant having to wear layers upon layers of fancy kimonos and the layers that went with them. The wedding had been boring and his protection proved pointless. Not a single hidden village bothered to look in on the marriage of a minor nation's Daimyo and the son of another Daimyo. The most significant part of Orochitama's plan and no one even bothered to get curious.

He still wasn't certain he understood the woman, but he was confident of one thing; he served a frightening force of nature. Not just the wedding, but also helping to overthrow the Kage of a foreign nation while also ensuring that Danzo was taken care of, by his own village no less. Plus that lucky bit of lab work that had given Lightning and Cloud something else to worry about, but at the same time, doing so in a way that could have been exponentially worse. All of that with being secondary objectives? Secondary objectives that would have served a purpose to the plan even if they failed?

The most amazing part of all though, was that all through out it, he'd never once heard her lie. Oh, she would bend the truth or give the truth in a misleading way, but he had not once heard her give a direct lie.

That could all be to con him, but...

"Nono, would you regret being brought back if Orochitama did somehow have a dark alternate objective that she springs up down the line?"

Nono's face became granite as they walked. Kabuto let her have the moment to consider the question and the possible implications of his question, they walked side by side down the hall, content in the quiet and contemplation.

"No, I don't think I could regret it. I got to meet you, and I got to help all those children. I can't imagine I could be made to regret those actions." Nono answered in the echoing stone halls.

"Good. I'd hate to have helped cause a war today and have to face that future with regrets." Kabuto joked.

Well, kind of joked. The possibility that he just cemented what would initiate the next Great Ninja War.

"Don't joke like that." Nono chided, "It's still very possible that war will be avoided."

"I'm a bit of a pessimist on human nature. Particularly for those that wear headbands." Kabuto said with mirth. All it took was one major village acting in fear or anger at the wrong time and the whole edifice would come crumbling down.

"Oh, so you've come to doubt your master now? You have spoken so highly of her for so long I was thinking you not capable of it." Nono replied with equal mirth.

"She has won and pulled off amazing things," Kabuto acknowledged with an incline of his head, "but after winning so often, with such great stakes? An arrogance rises in you and you get sloppy. It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. Eventually, the various plots and plans will catch up with us."

Though if it did, Kabuto couldn't find it in himself to regret his decisions. He found his place and he'd ride it till the end of the line. The adventure would be interesting if nothing else.

xxxxxxx

A, the Fourth Raikage and leader of the Village Hidden in Clouds scratched madly at the itch on his back, though his back was only mildly less itchy than the rest of his body, his entire body covered in an angry rash that left small vibrant blisters over his body.

"Report." A ordered his underling.

"Sir! We're looking into it still, but our medics say that the outbreak appears to be a mutated form of Chicken Pox." The envoy from his medical division stated.

"I've already had Chicken Pox! Isn't that supposed to stop me from getting it!?" He yelled as he scratched harder.

"Yes sir, but this one is different, more contagious, and capable of infecting even those that had the disease before."

If it was infecting even those that should have an immunity then the elderly would be particularly susceptible to this disease. Doubtlessly many were already infected. The rash first started appearing the previous night and by lunch the following day half of the entire village was displaying symptoms. Of all the things that he had suspected might one day cause the fall of his hidden village he never once imagined disease to be what ravaged them.

"Casualties?" A asked.

"None." The man answered. "It's infections but it's not a particularly dangerous strain of the pox. Many of the first cases are currently being given clean bills of health."

A blinked in surprise. The last twelve hours had been nerve wracking as the leadership in Cloud realized the mounting problem and everyone scrambled to implement quarantines and began grabbing the medics necessary to study the samples and come up with a miracle cure to save everyone. He had felt so certainly that it was an act of malice or at least something that would cripple their village and make them a ripe target for an enemy to come wipe them out.

Now to find out that it was a mild illness that would result in the village just taking a 24 hour break left him feeling vaguely stunned and confused. It didn't feel right. How could something like this NOT have been a plot? Diseases do occasionally just happen but the level of infection shown felt so very targeted.

"What else is happening? What reports have we recieved?" A asked, not being able to shake the feeling there was something else here to find.

The ninja began flipping through pages to sum up recent events.

"Well, the Chunin exams happened. A genin from Sand won the tournament, the suspected jinchuriki that is the Kazekage's son. Iwa suddenly increased their border patrols but seem unwilling to cross the border. A shipping company announced the creation of a university. There was a wedding between-"

The door to his office slammed open.

"Hidden Mist had a coup!" The one of his messengers yelled as she ran into the room, panting and sweating. The woman had clearly been pushing herself to get the message to him as quickly as possible. "Yagura has been removed by a rebellion with assistance from Hidden Sound Village."

Sound Village? Were the events of that ridiculous fair an audition for the events of the coup? If they were willing to work against other major hidden villages though they could be a useful tool for Cloud. Though if Yagura was killed, there was a opportunity in the air.

"Do we know what happened with the Three-Tailed Beast?" A asked hopefully.

"We don't know where it is, but to our knowledge they haven't managed to reseal him into a jinchuriki." The runner panted out.

An opportunity was here. They could secure another tailed beast for Cloud and they were the ones to know how to help a jinchuriki reach their maximum potential. If they got the Sanbi then no other village could possibly hope to stand against them.

But, he had to consider the plague going on. What happened if the disease had something hidden still? What if other symptoms flared up after the initial ones abated? Not to mention, Mist would be on high guard looking for loyalists and people trying to take advantage of their shown weakness.

"Assemble a team, put them on ready status to move. Make sure that you put someone capable of sealing a tailed beast on the team. We will have them waiting to move at a moments notice." He would be ready to take advantage of the opportunity presented, but he wouldn't jump yet. There was too much going on for him to be comfortable with sending a seal master of the needed caliber out. "Also, take some people not displaying symptoms right now and have them begin patrols. I want the patrols tripled! Pay close attention to the border near Earth!"

"Sir!" The two acknowledged just as a third runner entered the room.

"The Daimyo is demanding to speak with you immediately!"

The Daimyo? A wanted to roll his eyes in exasperation. With so much going on it felt only appropriate that the Daimyo wanted to waste his time.

"Tell him I'll hear from him tomorrow." A said with a dismissive wave.

"I'm sorry, Raikage-sama, the Daimyo is demanding to speak with you immediately." The man said with a deep bow.

A grumbled but stood and went to have the call. If the Daimyo was this insistent it was likely at least mildly important, but the man likely didn't appreciate the other concerns that were far more pressing.

"What did he say it was about?" He asked as he grabbed the hat of his office and placing it on his head.

"He mentioned the recent marriage of Daimyo of the Land of Valleys to one of the children of the Daimyo of the Land of Hills."

Those small piddly nations? They were chosing now to start something? Annoying but he figured it shouldn't be anything too terrible.

xxxxx

Sarutobi Hiruzen walked home through the rain in his plain clothes, the hat and robes of the Hokage left in his office. A small part of him wanted to curse the position, the world, and subordinates that thought they knew better. He settled for blaming himself and Shimura Danzo.

It had started with Naruto skipping out on his match, something Hiruzen was sure the boy wouldn't do. It had made a sense of dread fill the rest of his day, culminating in a meeting that spelled out directly to him all his failures.

Mind control. Hiruzen was aware he wasn't perfect and he'd made misteps leading the people of Konoha, but to have cold hard proof placed before him showing that the trust that had been placed in him by his subordinates, the family that was the Hidden Leaf, had been stolen by the man he thought was his oldest friend.

The weather at least had the decency to appropriately match his mood. The rain came down in sheets while the sky lit up with choking fingers of light and sound. Such weather brought Hiruzen into a melancholy mood on an ordinary day and felt fitting with the numbness that had settled over him. The whole meeting went by in a blur, with him missing most of the reported facts in the face of the documents provided to him proving Danzo's manipulation.

Except for the fact that Naruto's team were apparently the ones to strike the last blow. Despite himself, he couldn't stop the dry humor that filled him at that team, of all teams, being the one to put the man down. It felt fitting, now that he knew.

He arrived into his home and felt his most loyal guards peeling away from him. His son's wife practically marching him to their bedroom with her aura of malcontent blazing around her. Apparently, she did not appreciate that Tadaomi hadn't brought her into the loop for the attack on Danzo.

The two had the most intense fights for a couple that refused to yell at one another.

Hiruzen went to his own room and shed his clothes, putting on his bed-robes and paying respects to the shrine of his late wife.

Biwako never had liked Danzo, and he remembered taking her advice to heart once upon a time.

"I'm so sorry. I should have noticed that I stopped listening to you." Hiruzen muttered as he lit a stick of insince and allowed himself some time to feel sorry for himself, though it was not long before his knees began to protest the position. He didn't even bother heading to his bed, he wasn't likely to get sleep this night.

He instead headed to his study, the same that Tsunade had met with him at recently. Even if it was now apparent that his wayward student had just been trying to check on his mental health after finding out about Danzo's actions. It was reassuring to know she still cared.

Hiruzen shook his head to rid himself of his thoughts as he reached his study and-

Someone was there. Someone had managed to get through all the security of his home and was in his personal study that was full of nothing but pieces of fiction and rambling thoughts Hiruzen had scribbled down on subjects ranging from statecraft and warfare to philosophy and gardening. Anything truly useful was moved from the room. It was a room dedicated to sentimentality.

He could only think of two people that had the ability and motivation to enter. One of his students had come to see him, possibly worried about him. A smile tugged at his lips as he opened the door and he prepared to greet his student kindly.

Instead the air was knocked from lungs.

Unnaturally pale skin, long black hair, purple markings surrounding the dangerous eyes of a predator. She turned to look at him and Hiruzen was surprised to note that the other had not, in fact, been messing with him and the woman did indeed have curves that sent lesser men to drooling, but it was a distant thought in the face of seeing the woman preparing his favorite tea and serving it with his favorite snack to be served along side it.

She wore not the uniform of a soldier, nor the dresses the reports indicated she so commonly wore, but instead she wore a sweater, denim pants, and a scared and apologetic smile.

"Sensei." She greeted. "Join me for tea?"

Notes:

Shew, that's done. Prepare yourself for the next chapter! In it, Tama will directly spell out her plans and what she's accomplished. Well...not ALL of it, but most of it. A lot of this chapter gave me trouble, but that's in part because I'm trying to stick this landing and there are a LOT of moving parts. I'm trying to find that balance between over explaining every single aspect of the plan that I had her account for and not wanting to be boring. There is only so much "I expected you to expect me, so I did what you expected me to be pretending to do, what you least suspected-" that you can do before people's eyes start crossing.

I'm also trying to put some TLC into World's Best Supervillain, which is my next story I'm planning on putting over on Royal Road soon. I want to have a decent back long when I do so for a while it can update on there on an at least weekly basis.

Chapter 48: Chapter 48

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Getting into Konoha was laughably easy. ROOT had hidden paths into the village in a multitude of places if you knew where to look, and with Danzo's death, many of those paths remained unguarded. The most difficult aspect was sneaking into my old teacher's home. Guards and complex seal arrays made approach difficult, but hardly impossible. After I was inside, it was a simple matter of knowing where Hiruzen was likely to go after he had a difficult day.

I didn't expect how emotionally impactful the inside of the home would be. The kitchen was familiar, I knew where to find saucers and cups without needing to think. I spotted faded notches in the hallway from when Tsunade had thrown shuriken at Jiraiya for saying something stupid. In the office I set up the tea there was a shelf that held some rambling notes I had given Sarutobi years back on my theories of the origination of chakra.

Despite the people involved still living, I felt the house contained ghosts. Still, I couldn't let the ghosts make me sloppy and I kept my wits about me as I sensed Hiruzen enter the home.

I set the water to boil and prepped all the accompanying plates and tools to make the tea of an acceptable quality to a tea snob like Hiruzen. Filling my time with arranging the the dark-chocolate drizzled mint cookies on the plate, as my mind spiralled in all the ways the meeting could go. I was confident HIruzen wouldn't just attack first and ask questions later.

Then again, the man did just have a day that wouldn't have made him particularly trusting of old friends.

I debated leaving then and having the conversation another time when the door opened, catching me by surprise as I turned and gave my best smile as anxiety fluttered in my chest. Hiruzen's face was not instantly in anger, but in shock. I had seen the man unfazed by a surprise ambush of one-hundred ninja and yet my mere presence had him in stunned shock for several seconds; an eternity for a ninja.

"Sensei." I greeted and gestured to the other side of the table. "Join me for tea?"

The man pinched at the bridge of his nose and released a sigh with the force of a man trying to adjust the weight of the world on his back.

I couldn't help it. I giggled.

Hiruzen looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry, I just hadn't seen you look like that since Jiraiya burned down that bridge in Frost." A smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

Hiruzen's face became as unreadable as the stone of the mountain above the village. "Yes, I had another student that was to blame as well."

"I was an accessory after the fact. Jiraiya condemed the bridge, I just put the last nail in the coffin." I replied as I walked over to my seat and slowly sat down onto the towel I had placed there.

Hiruzen glanced at the towel then back up to my face.

"You're not really here. You're a shadow clone." Hiruzen noted.

A full smile bloomed on my face. "Not the Byakugan nor the Sharingan can tell a Shadow Clone from the original, but the great Professor can." I shook my head in wonder.

Hiruzen took the words in and simply watched me. Feet spread and body at the ready to react at a moments notice. He studied me, trying to come to his own conclusions about my plans, my identity, my emotional state. I let him and I did not raise a mask. This was important to me.

Hate is not the opposite of love. If you hate someone, under the right circumstances, all that hate can turn right back around to love as the thoughts of the person, the emotions, the history, it is all held closely to your heart. In some sense, you cannot hate unless you love.

Orochimaru hated Hiruzen quite a bit and I...I had to turn the emotion somewhere. He still was there for the death of my parents. He was there to teach me how to fight, how to think critically, and how to better understand the world.

Orochimaru might be only a part of me, but the Sannin and Hiruzen were the closest I had to a family. I didn't want to have a mask on around them, I wanted them to be able to see the real me.

So I didn't hide my emotion. I wrung my hands in my lap and took a steadying breath.

"Orochitama, I presume." Hiruzen stated more than asked.

I nodded anyways. "Yes."

"Why are you here?" He asked, still maintaing his ready stance.

"I felt it was time you know the truth, and after that, I wanted to make a deal with you. Preferably over tea, but if you'd rather not, that's fine too. I can just dismiss myself and leave you to your night."

He continued to watch me closely, rolling my words over in his head.

"Why are you a Shadow Clone?" He asked.

"Because I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to talk, or if you would just greet me with Enma in his staff form crushing my skull." I answered as I judged the tea to have steeped enough and began to pour it out into the two cups. I turned my eyes up to him. "Are you going to crush my skull?"

He continued to stare me down but I could see the small twitches at his eyes and mouth that showed the war going on inside him, though I couldn't rightly say which direction the man was leaning until finally, he dropped his ready stance and sat down across from me.

"The molded chakra making a facsimile of your skull shall remain intact so long as you don't give me a reason to do otherwise."

"Thank you, sensei." I said in clear relief before taking a sip of the tea before me.

"So. You continue to claim to be Orochimaru?" Hiruzen questioned as he picked up his tea and gazed at it questioningly; likely he was trying to see if it had been poisoned somehow.

"I am Orochimaru...but I am also not Orochimaru. You see, it all started back when I very stupidly tried to use an experimental technique on Uchiha Itachi, the master of magical-eye bullshit and found myself sorely lacking." I started, fully and totally telling the truth with no regard for what it would give me. Just the chance to maybe have something resembling a bond with another person without having to worry about anything else. Well, other than the long history of betrayal.

It was liberating.

xxxxxxxx

Sarutobi Hiruzen was beginning to wonder if he had a psychotic break. The person across from him broke into his home, served him his favorite tea and cookies, and then claimed to be an amalgamation of the souls of his traitorus student, a prisoner that had been broken into a shell of her former self, and a third more dominant soul that absorbed the other two to become a woman with a figure that 13 year-old boys drew while giggling to themselves with nosebleeds.

The worst part was, she was making sense. The longer she talked, the more he found that her version of events made everything else that happened make sense.

"This...dominant soul. Who was she?" Hiruzen asked.

"No one important really. Her life was so very different from anything that people could consider normal here. She might be from the far past, perhaps the future, or even another world. I honestly can't say for certain. None of her memories really match up to this one except for some fictional stories she read that resemble events here to a great degree. Other than that, she was from a life in which war never touched her."

Hiruzen marveled at the idea. He had long dreamed of it himself. A world in which children could go their whole lives without the bloody hand of war leaving an imprint.

"So, no war in her time? How did they accomplish that?" Hiruzen asked, hoping to perhaps gain wisdom.

"Oh...I'm sorry I gave you the wrong idea. Her world had war, for sure, but it did not affect HER. She was born into a nation that decades past had the best industry and they used it to make the most powerful military and there after open confrontation with her nation was the height of foolishness by the time she was born. There were times their military was deployed and small skirmishes they fought in, but never to the point the nation was hard up for troops." She explained.

Unfortunate, peace only through superior arms and economy was not a revolutionary thought. Many had tried for it in the past but it wouldn't be the key to things for the Hidden Villages.

"You keep refering to this person as 'she,' why do you not use 'me' instead?"

Orochitama placed her cup back down and tapped pouted lips with a single finger as she considered the question. A gesture that Orochimaru would never pull, and certainly would not have looked as good doing it. There was no question in Hiruzen's mind that the next Icha Icha book by Jiraiya would feature someone with full purple lips.

"She might have been the one to win out, but who I became is not who I was. She was younger than Orochimaru, and I honestly have more raw memories of Orochimaru than for her. She was afraid of snakes, she was so reluctant to take life she hesitated killing rats that invaded her home, and she lacked the organization and drive neccessary for me to accomplish the things I have now. I tried to deny it at first, but I am not that person anymore either. I am something new. I am all three, I am none of them. I am Orochitama."

Hiruzen hummed in acknowledgement. The being across from him was not one he could confidently give an identity for either. She was not Orochimaru anymore and he couldn't recognize her as such, but he'd often felt the same about Tsunade. There was little in his blonde student now that was her twenty years previous. It is in the nature of people to change over time, and he couldn't rightly say this person was not Orochimaru either.

She was a living paradox, assuming she was telling the truth. This could be a means to manipulate him. He couldn't bring himself to trust Orochimaru again, despite his longing to be able to, but this person could be different enough to gain that trust.

But not tonight. Trust was earned over time, and he had his suspicions about the timing involved in his psuedo-student's arrival.

"Did you have a hand in Danzo's death?" Hiruzen asked pointedly, a sudden swerve in the conversation from Orochitama's perspective, but the woman barely blinked.

"Yes." She answered.

Hiruzen's jaw clenched and it took everything in him to not growl his next words.

"To what extent?"

"Well, as Orochimaru, I was the one that created the arm from Hashirama's cells. I did not personally implant the eyes nor attach the arm, but I wrote the notes for the person who would."

Danzo had been working with Orochimaru? Behind his back? For how long? Hiruzen's mind raced at the implications. Had Orochimaru been a victim of Danzo as well this entire time?

"As Orochitama, I took Gato of Gato Industries and used him as a sacrifice for an Edo Tensei to bring back Danzo's former student, Yakushi Nono to obtain information from her on Danzo's betrayal and where to find proof. I then held the fair on your doorstep with the express purpose of luring your grandson, Konohamaru, into the fair. There coded information could be passed to your son, Tadaomi, without any of Danzo's agents noticing it by slipping it into Konohamaru's pocket."

Hiruzen stared at the woman, barely believing his ears.

"In said message, I also slipped in a poison I had created to effect Hashirama cells by making their healing factor be used against the person, resulting in an aggressive and instantly metastasizing cancer. I included directions and cautions on the poison in the message as well. After that, your son and whoever else he gathered to help were the ones to handle things." She finished before taking a bite of one of the cookies, humming happily.

"You are trying to ingratiate yourself to me and you are claiming that you used my family to your own ends, used a ninjutu that is forbidden for extremely good reasons, and making a poison that causes horrific cancer?" Hiruzen questioned.

"Would you rather I lie?" She asked back.

Hiruzen found he didn't have an answer for that.

The woman openly admitted to manipulations and actions that even the average ninja would acknowledge were underhanded, but she said them without shame nor hesitation. Much the same way that Orochimaru would.

Still, there was much in her statements that could be examined and questioned in finer detail to understand the underlying psychology of the woman across from him, but he didn't have it in him on this night. His mind cared far more about a much more selfish question.

"You mentioned that Orochimaru had dealings with Danzo. Was he- is it possible-" Hiruzen began.

"No." The woman cut in, a sympathetic look on her face as she placed her tea down on the table. "Danzo did not push Orochimaru towards the atrocities he committed. Danzo didn't gain the Sharingan eyes until well after Orochimaru had left the village, nor did Danzo come up with any of the horrific experiments done while in Konoha. It was all something I had decided- he had decided for himself. Danzo knew of it, but he did nothing more than turn a blind eye."

Hiruzen wasn't sure if that was a relief or yet more pressure placed upon his soul, but he could appreciate the honesty. Assuming it was honesty, and not an attempt to gain his trust.

"Danzo's death is why you are here now. You did not want to meet with me while Danzo was still alive." Hiruzen stated confidently. The context clues of the conversation made the statment practically obvious. The woman clearly had a distaste and distrust of his now-dead friend and traitor.

"Yeah, well that and the whole new country thing." The woman said with a laugh and a shrug of her shoulders.

New country? Hiruzen's mind played over the events of the conversation so far and confirmed to himself that there was nothing so far that she said that would explain that statement. Was she dropping a hint? Was it some sort of trap? He couldn't think of a way that it could be used against him.

"You will have to explain that one to me." Hiruzen stated.

"Hm? Your Daimyo didn't contact you?" The woman stated in confusion.

The Fire Daimyo had called him earlier that day, but in the face of Danzo's death and the storm rolling in that interfered with the signal, he hadn't managed to actually speak with the man. He hadn't thought much of it, since the last time the Daimyo needed to speak with him it was to discuss a new calligraphy artist. If that was something important...perhaps this meeting was actually about digging for information?

"Why don't you tell me what he reached out to me for." Hiruzen said firmly.

Orochitama just smiled at him cheekily in response before answering, "Sure, I relish being the one to tell you."

That did not bode well.

"So, earlier today, likely somewhere at the bottom of your important notices list, it was mentioned that Shiyuki, the Daimyo of the Land of Valleys married Hirohito, the son of the Daimyo of the Land of Hills. The wedding seemed rushed, especially with Shiyuki having recently gained just a little weight and the wedding being extremely rushed, it seemed so very obvious why the wedding was happening. Plus, with the Chunin Exams, the Coup in Mist I assisted with, and both Iwa and Cloud experiencing a Chicken Pox Pandemic, this wedding could be ignored for far more important and nefarious sounding things." The woman said with a measured excitement that rather reminded Hiruzen of the teachers that taught at schools for those too young to go to the Ninja Academy.

He'd heard about the coup in Mist but there were a few things in there that set off alarm bells.

"Iwa and Cloud are experiencing a pandemic?"

"Yeah. Chicken pox. Very contagious but very mild effects. Not central to the story." She said dismissively.

An impending pandemic was not central to this story, but just a mild detail? Maybe he should have started the conversation with killing her.

"Now, as I'm sure you are very familar with a map of the Elemental Nations, you'll be aware that the Land of Valley's and the Land of Hills have a small little country in between them."

"The Land of Rice." Hiruzen stated instantly and relization began to dawn on him. The Hidden Village in Rice was the Sound Village, the one that Orochitama had just been working with and commanding.

"Yeah, Sound was an Orochimaru product that I spent almost a year turning into something other than a depraved den of barely controlled psychos. I think I gave you all the pieces though. Would you care to finish it for me?" Orochitama offered with a proud smile.

"The Daimyo of Rice is far too young to rule and the new couple graciously announced adopting him at their marriage ceremony, turning the three nations into one, making a single country with three hidden villages: Waterfall, Grass, and Sound." Hiruzen stated with dawning horror.

They were minor villages, but they were some of the stronger minor Hidden Villages, though Sound was still largely an unknown, the impact from the recent fair on Konoha's doorstep and subsequent assistance with the Coup in Mist would make them a celebrated and respected village in it's own right. Especially with the reports coming in of one particular ninja with a Bone based bloodline technique that was in the fighting and showing himself to be in the consideration of being declared as S-class ninja. Waterfall also had a Jinchuriki; the Seven-Tailed Beast at that.

"If you can get the other two villages to cooperate with you with pressure from the Daimyo, you could-"

"Sorry, Sensei. It's not could. The agreement has already been made. They have given me express cooperation and we aren't three separate villages anymore. We are one village. The sixth Hidden Village that has the power to declare it's leader a Kage." She finished with a grin that he believed Jiraiya would describe as 'shit-eating.'

A Sixth Kage? A few have tried to lay claim to that level of power but no one had truly gotten close since the time of the Shodaime Hokage. However, if all three genuinely joined forces, they would have the raw power of Orochitama, the Bone User, a Jinchuriki, and the Leader of Hidden Grass was no slouche either. They could field more power than Sand or Mist could in both raw total numbers and jounin.

"It won't last. The other Hidden Villages won't stand for so much power appearing on their doorstep. You would need-"

"A very public statement from the new Mizukage that I helped place into power that she would support my village if something went wrong? Rumors circulating that I secretly control the leader of the Hidden Sand village due to him helping to run some distractions during the fair and some lipstick in my favorite color smeared all over his face? I do happen to have both of those things."

She was right. He'd read the rumors that the Kazekage had found a mistress and there was theories floating around that Orochitama had been the source. It was a risk, but with those two factors it might be enough to convince both Stone and Cloud that an attack wouldn't be worth the trouble, but it was theoretically doable.

"How did you possibly get the Daimyos to agree to that?" Hiruzen asked in wonder. Most Daimyos tended to have one major view shared across them: don't rock the boat. Actions like this resulted in assassinations and wars and most of them weren't up for that kind of risk.

"I made them an offer they couldn't refuse." Orochitama said sweetly as she picked up another cookie.

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at her.

"Money." She responded before popping the treat in her mouth. When she swallowed, she continued, "Some months back, I managed to steal all the assests and connections of the Gato Shipping Business. I used those to make another business known as The Pink Canoe."

"You own controlling interest in a company? There is no way that the Hidden Villages will let that stand."

"You are absolutely correct. That's why I sold all my shares and used it to bribe the Daimyo and bankroll a bunch of changes in my village."

"You can't have gotten that much money from a new business. Unless..." Hiruzen pondered the statement and remembered another report he had read. "The Pink Canoe is the only place that you can buy all those instruments and specialized cooking machines from the fair you put on. A fair attended by many of the most influential people in the world. You created a buzz of demand that would be hot currently and inflate the value of any business able to offer the product immediately."

"You really are worthy of the title Professor, Sensei." She stated with a shake of her head.

The level of planning and contingencies in front of him frankly shocked him. With it all being layed out in front of him, each action fed into the creation of this new Hidden Village, but none were independently required for the plan to succeed. It was only possible because no one was directly looking for it, but that was likely counted on from the beginning. If the coup in Mist failed, Orochitama just had to survive and a little pushing would have Cloud choosing to put down the chronically unstable Mist in short order. If any of the Daimyo refuse the plan it wouldn't have been hard to set up an untimely accident and find someone more amendable to the plan. If Konoha got fed up and attacked the Fair during the exam, everyone would be focused on getting their pound of flesh from Konoha for violating the agreements of the exams.

It was a level of planning, deception, and sheer guts that meant Orochitama would likely not ever be underestimated in the political realm for the rest of her life.

One thing was certain though. If she actually did plan out everything she was claiming to have, then she never did anything for just one reason. Every single action had multiple objectives and he had no doubt her visit was the same.

"Why are you here?" He demanded.

"To have tea with my old sensei. A part of me needed this. To see you and figure out my feelings about...well, a lot of things." She said, a look of emotional constipation on her face.

"That might be true." Hiruzen said with a dismissive wave. "However, why else are you here?"

She opened her mouth to give a denial but visibly stopped herself before speaking again with resignation, "Yes, I have something else I would like to talk to you about, but it isn't required. We can keep this a personal visit and not be just me talking politics. We don't have to make this business."

"I think we both know there is no keeping business out of this." Hiruzen's words were ash in his mouth, but he didn't let it show on his stony countenance.

For but an instant, Orochitama closed her eyes and sagged. When the eyes reopened, they were bright and teasing.

A rare mask among ninja, but not an unheard of one.

"I want Konoha to also throw it's support behind this new village. If you agree to support it's existence for just the next three years, that will be enough that I can count on Hidden Cloud not interfering."

Hiruzen leaned back in his chair and wondered what the hell this woman thought would entice them to actually perform such an action.

"Why would we offer our support to a known traitor of Konoha and a new rival that landed on our doorstep after publicly making fools of us during the Chunin Exam?" Hiruzen asked with genuine interest.

"Mist allowed me to collect the Three Tailed Beast after the defeat of Yagura. Isobu further gave me permission to seal him away into whomever I chose in order to ensure his safety from Akatsuki."

Isobu? Hiruzen wasn't a fool and could recognize what she was saying. She not only had the Three Tails, but she knew its name and had its willing cooperation, if she was to be believed. Hiruzen had heard rumors of Bee, the brother of the Raikage, also coming to a common agreement with his Tailed Beast, but for this woman to claim she could do the same? That was too much power appearing too suddenly in the same place. Stone and Cloud would need to unite and put down-

"That is why I would like to offer to seal it into a Konoha ninja, in exchange for a publicly sworn alliance." Orochitama finished.

Hiruzen's eyes widened. She was willing to give it away? To them? The military advantage couldn't be denied and he'd be a fool to turn it down.

"I can gather a list of candidates for the appropriate volunteer." Hiruzen began, thinking through possible candidates.

"I'm sorry, but I'm only willing to hand it over if it goes into one particular ninja." She said as she leaned forward and gave a teasing smile, as if reminded of a happy memory. "Hatake Kakashi."

"Oh? Why him?" Hiruzen asked in curiosity. Had the woman's past interaction with the Copy Ninja resulted in romantic feelings? He did question previously if the two had a romantic tryst. It would have been out of character for the jounin to participate in such a thing, but not out of character for him to conceal such a thing happened.

"Kakashi is a brilliant ninja. He has the raw talent, ability, and knowledge to be able to stand toe to toe with most Kages. However, he lacks the raw chakra stores to keep in the fight. Giving him a tailed beast will change him from being a powerful A-rank Jounin into the upper ends of the S-rank ninja of the world." She replied before taking a delicate sip of her tea.

"Why would you make sure we had such a powerful weapon in our village? We have many incentives to turn on you." Hiruzen asked, wracking his mind.

"Now that Danzo is dead, Konoha is near the bottom of the list of people I am worried about attacking me." Orochitama said with a laugh and a wave.

"Akatsuki. You claim they are after the Tailed Beasts. If Kakashi has one, their objectives are made that much harder while you also create a motivated ally against them."

"Just so! Akatsuki has multiple members that I'm not confident I can defeat in a fight, and with this the chance they die to a Konoha ninja before they get around to settling a score with me increases greatly."

"Yes, you mentioned that Itachi had defeated Orochimaru previously." Hirzuen said with a nod.

"Oh, well if we're allies I don't have to worry about him, but others there too, yes." Orochitama said in a matter of fact manner that made confusion run through Hiruzen.

"Why would Itachi care that we are allies? He is a missing-nin."

Orochitama copied his confusion for a moment before shock ripped its way across her features.

"You don't know!? You knew the truth of the Uchiha Massacre, so I assumed you knew." Orochitama said tapping a finger against her chin, eyes racing back in forth in thought, as though reading an invisible book infront of her; on old trait of Orochimaru's, Hiruzen noted with a small pang of regret.

"Itachi did not leave the village out of digust of his orders, did he?" Hiruzen asked.

"No. Danzo ordered it. I was reasonably certain that Itachi was sending information back to Konoha and you were just keeping it quiet but it would appear that Danzo was concealing the information for his own ends."

If that was true, if they could gain the information from Itachi and have him act on their interest and combine that with Kakashi becoming a Jinchuriki...Konoha would be in possession of more S-Class ninja that any other village. They would have to attempt to make contact somehow first, but it was a powerful opportunity.

One he didn't trust himself to be in charge of.

"You have brought me much to consider. You promise me power, friendship, and leverage against my enemies; all for mutual benefit. However, I will need to think on what you're offering. I need to confer with others I trust to make sure I am not making a mistake." Hiruzen stated firmly.

For too long he had been controlled by his Danzo. The mistakes he had made through his reign also loomed heavy on his mind as he began to wonder if he should continue to wear the Hokage's hat. He had failed on almost every level and even the sanctity and origination of his own thoughts were called into question.

Rather than seeming upset, Orochitama smiled in approval at his statement and gave a nod of her head.

"I think it is wise of you to take your time and consider things. You had a mentally trying day today and wise council is always helpful." Orochitama said as she drained the last of the tea in her cup. "However, don't take too long, Sensei. I can give you one week before I put Isobu in a ninja of my own. The world will not wait for us to figure out the best decision."

Hiruzen nodded his head, shocked at how reasonable she was being. If she had pressed for a decision right then, she might could have convinced him. After all, the choice between gaining a Jinchuriki or having a hostile neighbor having one seemed at a glance a very simple decision.

"One last thing, Sensei. When you go to seek council on this, perhaps don't seek it with the same people that were likely to be as controlled by Danzo as you were." She said before disappearing in a puff of smoke. The tea she had been drinking and a few chewed up cookies dropping onto the towel the woman had placed on the chair.

She was correct. The main advisors he tended to use were Danzo, Homura, and Koharu. If Danzo had been manipulating Hiruzen's mind, he almost certainly was doing the same to the other advisors. Or, more frighteningly, he wasn't because they already agreed with him and worked with him.

Hiruzen let out a weary groan as he stood up. The tea and cookies completely untouched as he wasn't stupid enough to touch food given to him by someone that just claimed that she had created and used an extremely lethal poison recently.

He left the room of his sentimentality to go to a room of much greater importance to his continued sanity. The lounge where he kept most of his liquor. If was going to have any hope of sleeping that night, it was going to be by virtue of getting drunk enough to fall asleep.

There was far too many emotions and factors that he didn't know, couldn't know, about the mysterious figure that was Orochitama. There was but one thing that Hiruzen was confident of about the Snake Woman.

The way her plans had so many contingencies, fail safes, and motivation to just make the person act in their own self-interest so that thing would turn out in her benefit was terrifying. He would have loved to never have to fight against the woman, but if the Konoha ever did go to war against her he would institute a rule to kill or run on sight.

Because never ever under any circumstances should someone give her time to talk.

xxxxxx

Notes:

In contrast, this chapter came to me super easily! Like gosh this just found its way on to the page super easy. We are nearing the end now. Tama has one or two more surprises to pull by by and large, Hiruzen now knows the totality of what she had been building towards all this time. I hope it stuck the landing for how much everything in the series really was building towards Orocthitama's plans. A lot of them were happy accidents and she's not a master planner that can come up with infinite contingencies, but she's great at acknowledging what she has and figuring out how to use it for her benefit. A few bits of this plan only occurred to her a hand full of hours before it was time to set them in motion.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this much quicker than normal update!

Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 49

Kakashi felt vindicated. In the aftermath of Danzo's death, there was a lot of paperwork and conversations that had to happen, though hardly as much as there could be in response to assassinating someone inside the village. Danzo was an S-Class ninja and the few people that knew he was traitor and that he had compromised the Third Hokage, the better. It made Konoha look weak to the other nations if the full scope of what happened came out. Still, there was a major problem that needed to be addressed after the fact.

Namely, a group of genin that needed to learn not to run off and try to fight S-Class ninjas.

"So...he had arm cells from another guy in his brain?" Naruto asked the same question in a slightly different way for the fifth time.

"Yes." Tsunade groaned out in exasperation.

Naturally, Kakashi had volunteered Tsunade to explain what happened to Danzo before they managed to run across him. It was going about how he expected.

"But he seemed fine. He was really strong, till I kicked his ass." Naruto insisted.

"That's the point! He wasn't fine!" Tsunade shouted back. "If he was fine, you all would have died in seconds!"

"Because he had arm cells in his brain?" Naruto asked again.

"YES!" Tsunade, Sakrua, and Sasuke all yelled.

"Oooooh." Naruto said before giving a confident nod of his head. "Got it."

Sasuke and Sakura gave a look of suspicion at his confidence. When Sakura opened her mouth to express that doubt, Sasuke shot a hand up and shook his head. Kakashi internally pouted; he hoped them to go around that conversation a few more times, but he figured it was time to finish things up.

"There, now that that's understood, I need you three to understand how important this is. You got lucky this time, but if that fight had started even ten seconds earlier, there is a strong possibility that he would have been capable of forming a better plan and killed you all before you realized you had an issue. You didn't beat a Legend, you beat an old man who had already been in a fight and was half-mad from cancer invading his brain while also being slowed by said cancer infecting the rest of his internal organs." Kakashi summarized as he loomed over his kids. "Don't make a habit of fighting older people. If they are ninja and managed to live that long, then you should be afraid of them."

"What?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow and pointed at Tsunade. "You mean I should be scared of this old lady?"

"Hey! I'm not old you brat!"

"I wouldn't suggest making her mad." Kakashi responded evenly. "Unless you happen to have some hemoglobin on hand."

Tsunade's eye twitched.

"For...a blood transfusion?" Sakura guessed.

"Something like that." Kakashi said with a shrug before turning towards the door to their little room.

They were not, strictly speaking, under arrest, but they had been invited to stay in his manor while 'everything got sorted out' and had been provided very safe rooms that just so happened to have a lot of cameras and sensors in the area and none of the rooms they were allowed in had windows. Despite that, Anko had somehow managed to secure liquor and drink herself into stupor after a long night of celebration that resulted in the woman holing up in her own room as she cursed anyone that made a sound louder than a whisper. They had been left alone for the last few hours, but Kakashi could sense movement at the other side of the door to the room, a quick sniff had him straighten up as the door opened.

"Hokage-sama." Kakashi stated before going to a bow. Two of his students copied him.

"Hey, Old Man!" Naruto cried out happily while Tsunade gave a vague head nod.

"Hello, Naruto-kun. Sasuke. Sakura. How are you three doing?" The Hokage asked as he played with his pipe in one hand as he gazed at Sasuke with a ponderous gaze.

"Fine, Hokage-Sama." Sasuke intoned immediately, a sentiment that Sakura echoed.

"Bored!" Naruto responsed in exasperation. "We were up answering questions all last night and we haven't been allowed to go anywhere! Your place is boring!"

Kakashi held back a sigh as Hiruzen merely chuckled in response. "Well, you have to put up with it just a bit longer. Though lunch is being served in the dining area, why don't you three go as I talk with your Sensei?"

The three looked to Kakashi, rather than just running off. A huge improvement from when he first got them, at least for two of them. All three knew they could go, the Hokage outranked Kakashi after all, but it was a look checking if they needed to know anything before they moved out. A look to see if he seemed tense or scared.

"Go." He ordered with an easy tone and the three set out a sedate pace.

"Bet I'll get there first." Naruto confidentially yelled before two sets of feet began pounding down the hallway followed by a third set a heartbeat later.

"That was spooky." Tsunade muttered as she gazed out to the hallway.

Hiruzen gave a nod of acknowledgement.

Kakashi looked between the two and then out to the hallway where something crashed and broke in the distance.

"Same interaction the Sannin had before?" Kakashi guessed.

"Verbatim." Hiruzen acknowledge. "Team 7 is very similar to the younger versions of my team."

"Hopefully these little shits will end up better." Tsunade groaned as she leaned back in her chair.

"Don't worry, I suspect Sasuke will never transform into a woman." Kakashi joked.

"No. That's Naruto's thing." Hiruzen countered and Kakashi had to suppress a laugh.

Despite the joking, Hiruzen lingered and fiddled with his pipe. This was not a formal meeting, it was personal and something Hiruzen was uncertain on. Kakashi settled into the chair that Sakura had abandoned earlier and made himself comfortable yet attentive. He wouldn't rush the man.

Tsunade had no such compulsion. "What do you need?"

Hiruzen heaved a sigh and grabbed one of the chairs for himself. "Last night I received a visitor. I went to the old Team Study last night and was greeted by Orochitama."

"Of course she did." Kakashi groaned. "Did she bring booze? Threats? Sexual innuendo?"

"No. She invited me to sit for my favorite tea and cookies." Hiruzen responded rubbing at his nose. "Then she proceeded to spell out what all her plans over the last few months have been building up towards, gave me information that I frankly am unsure what to do with, and then made an offer that I worry we can't refuse."

"Isn't that what she does every time anyone meets her?" Tsunade asked drolly.

"Frankly, her not flirting was the most surprising part of that." Kakashi noted aloud before thinking on it and admitting that it actually wasn't. From what he could tell, Orochitama never flirted with Tsunade or Jiraiya either. Something about their connection to Orochimaru made her unwilling to flirt with them.

"Well, I found the most surprising part to be her admitting to be the result of Orochimaru attempting to achieve immortality by changing bodies only to mess up the process in such a way that the Shinigami personally sent a soul into the process which disrupted the technique and created an amalgamation of three souls into one that is Orochitama. That, or when she outlined how she orchestrated a marriage between the Daimyo of Valley and the son of the Daimyo of Hills who then adopted the Daimyo of Rice resulting in Grass, Waterfall, and Sound combining into a single village."

Kakashi put aside the metaphysical implications of most of that to the side for him to have anxiety about later for the far more pressing issue.

Waterfall, Grass, and Sound? Sound's strength was fairly unknown, but Grass and Waterfall together gave them more manpower than Sand or Mist. Plus, those three nations had several major ports and trade lines running through it, while also having a huge amount of farmable land, as well as several decently sized iron mines. It would be smaller than the likes of Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind, but the nation had the natural resources and positioning to be a peer to any nation. Waterfall even had a jinchuriki. This new village, whatever it ended up being called, weren't just another small village; they met all the requirements to have their leader hold the title of Kage.

"Shit." Tsunade spat, summing up Kakashi's thoughts on the matter.

"I would appreciate if you would tell me in greater detail everything you found out, Hokage-sama." Kakashi stated, perhaps a bit out of place for him to request such a thing from his leader, but the man was clearly coming to them for advice. He needed context to provide that.

"Very well. She greeted me as 'Sensei'-" Hiruzen began.

It was no exaggeration to state Konoha's reaction to the events Hiruzen was describing could decide if they would fall to war in the coming years or not. He needed the full picture, but what would truly decide the future would be how the other Kages reacted to this new village.

xxxxxxxx

Rasa found himself flummoxed on how he should feel about the greatest political move of the last decade. The Fourth Kazekage stared out his window in thought as he rolled the facts over in his mind. A task he found difficult as he found himself struggling with conflicting feeling on many things that had occurred of late, particularly as it related to Orochitama. A subject that felt fitting to stew over as he looked over the the village that gave birth to the enigmatic trickster.

"Father. I have come to speak about pressing issues." Gaara announced from behind him.

"Speak." He ordered to his son. He briefly considered congratulating the boy on his victory at the Chunin Exams, but dismissed it. Such platitudes were useless and Gaara's victory was expected.

"I have just learned of the new village being created through the alliance of Sound, Waterfall, and Grass. We assisted Orochitama in this endeavor. Are we prepared for war breaking out?" Gaara asked.

The more interesting question to Rasa was how Gaara knew of the formation of the new village. Did he hear it as he was in Konoha? Had it already spread to the masses? Or had Baki told him? Regardless of what it was, the living weapon had learned to listen when those around him spoke and not just dismiss it. A positive step.

"Sand is always prepared for war, but this is one that won't likely effect us. This new village will be close to Konoha, Iwa, and Kumo and if conflict breaks out, it will be located there. They will not be inclined to march across a desert to reach us." Rasa answered; Sand's greatest defense had always been that going through the desert left any force open to ambushes and made any long term sieges a logistical nightmare. It just wasn't worth fighting them.

"Will they not try to strike back at us for assistance in helping Sound with their efforts in Konoha? We appear to be their allies, if not on paper, then by reputation." Gaara probed.

"Konoha will be far too busy fending off others to worry about coming to us. Mist will be recovering from their coup. Iwa and Kumo both would have to travel too far to get to us and would need to go through far too much enemy territory. They simply won't have the numbers." Rasa said again dismissively as he very suddenly was tired of looking at the vista of Konoha. He turned away from the window as though it offended him.

"But what of Orochitama?" Gaara pressed.

"Yes, she is rather clever and managed to have us get involved in something larger than I intended, but she's-"

"Your lover." Gaara interrupted.

"Excuse me?" Rage filled Rasa's veins.

"She is reputed to be your lover. I don't know if that's true, nor do I care. What matters is that people believe it. Whispers back home and here that Orochitama manipulated you with her charms and her-" Gaara paused struggling to recall a statement before saying the words that felt unfamiliar on his tongue, "big mommy milkers."

Rasa stared at his child, gobsmacked.

"You have heard this rumor as well. That is a lever of manipulation that Orochitama is not going to leave unused. If war arises she will insure some of the enemy is pointed our way, as every blade pointed at us is one less she has to deal with. That is assuming she does not already have further plans for us."

Rasa struggled to refrain from attacking his son. The audacity of coming in and thinking he had a better grasp of the political situation than Rasa, who had been a Kage for than a decade? It was insulting and certainly not that he was embarrassed that a twelve year-old had pointed out things that Rasa never considered.

"Further, we lack S-Class ninja, and if a single powerful S-Class ninja with a team were dispatched they could cripple us enough to-"

"Enough!" Rasa growled. "I am not some simpleton unware of state of our power, nor am I an idiot so easily manipulated!"

"I see." The child said, looking up at him with dead eyes that felt full of judgement and held far more weight than they ever had before when they looked upon him in hatred.

"You are not good at being Kage." Gaara finally stated, seeming to come to a conclusion and turned to walk away before Rasa could say anything in response.

Rasa found he preffered when his son just tried to kill him and screamed about "Mother demanding blood."

XXXXXXXXX

Mei stared at the message with bloodshot eyes. She hadn't slept in 36 hours and likely wouldn't get any sleep for many more hours. They were still finding small pockets of loyalists and misguided ninja that thought themselves her equal that looked to spring a trap to wrestle power away from her faction and into theirs. An effort that would have been even more difficult had Orochitama not left a powerful team of ninja with her to help rout out the last of the holdouts. Even still, she was tired, sore, and mentally drained but had to present a strong front and air of authority as she cemented the installment of the government.

She blamed that as the reasons she screamed in rage and burned the message sent to her.

"She used us as a fucking distraction! She just formed a whole new nation and we just handed over the god-damned Three Tails over to her!" Mei raged as the smoke darkened the small room and cast ominous shadows about her face.

"Told you she had a bigger angle." Zabuza responded from his position near her desk. He too had been running round but instead got to sit in a chair and "rest his eyes" while she was pouring over reports between battles.

"I didn't think you meant this big!"

"Me either." Zabuza said with a shrug. "She's got even bigger balls than I gave her credit for."

"The bitch used us." Mei groused.

"Yeah. How dare she give us everything we wanted and profit from it." Zabuza said sarcastically.

Mei acknowledge the truth of the statement in her head, but gave no outward acknowledgement. It was true that none of what happened negatively effected them, and she had been nothing but massively helpful to their cause. Hell, even the formation of this new nation would draw everyone's eyes and stop anyone from thinking too heavily about attacking Mist while it was vulnerable.

It was helpful...but that they were used without a clue of the snake woman's greater plan. To be led by the nose down a path like they were some wet behind the ears genin hurt her pride and inspired feelings of simmering rage to settle in her bones; though Orochitama generally had that effect on her.

"I hope you keep that sense of humor about this, because this damn sure decides your job for the forseeable future." Mei shot back quickly.

Zabuza froze.

"You're already well positioned." Mei said simply.

Zabuza sat silently before giving a grunt of acknowledgement, a deafeated sigh on anyone else.

"Fine. I expect to be paid damn well for this." He groused.

"Look on the bright side. With how Konoha and Kumo are likely to react to this? You won't have to have the position for very long." Mei said with a shrug.

After all, it would take quite a bit for Konoha to overlook a traitor setting up a competing power on their doorstep and Kumo wouldn't much care for the idea either and it would be quick math for them to decide to take care of the issue.

"I dunno. She's continued to surprise us so far. She probably has a plan for that." Zabuza said.

Mei hated that he was probably right.

XXXXXXXXXX

Onoki contemplated the message before him and pondered it's implications. He imagined the other Kage's were collectively shitting themselves right now, but not him. Oh no, this new development brought almost enough blessings to outweigh its curses. At first glance, a powerful hidden village led by a psychopathic mad scientist and traitor forming right on his nation's border was cause for alarm, and it was, but it had another boon as well. They had a shiny new barrier against being invaded. Now, if someone wanted to invade the nation of Earth they would have to contend with this new nation or trudge through the water soaked and disease-ridden land protected by Hidden Rain.

Kumo had been looking for a fight for years. They had strongest military of any of the nations and had wanted to make sure that any war started on their terms if one was to begin. With this, that new target was certainly not going to be Iwa.

If a new war was to start, the players would be Kumo, Konoha, and this new nation. They could come to blows while Mist and Sand sat back and licked their wounds from their recent issues. They wouldn't be in a position to counter attack for years though, but Iwa would. If Iwa played its cards right, they could sweep in near the end of the conflict with fresh soldiers and resources and claim vast amounts of wealth and land for themselves.

If it didn't work out...well there was alternatives.

After all, Akatsuki had proven quite useful in the last few years.

He just had to sit back and wait for now.

XXXXXXXX

"Damn Konoha and their pain-in-the-ass traitors!" A, the Raikage, raged to his brother with a drunken slur.

"Yo, calm it down bro, your drinking needs to slow. You're yellin' and spittin' mad but you need to see things ain't so bad." Bee said, trying to calm his brother.

"They're on our damn doorstep! We can't let that threat stay. That buffer zone existed for a damned reason!" A yelled as his brother failed to grasp the situation.

"Yeah, and a buffer it shall be, but it seem to me, this ain't the threat that you been tryin' to see." Bee said before dissolving into beatboxing and muttering as he frantically wrote lyrics in his notebook.

"Stop with the rapping! What is it that I'm failing to see here?! Hm!?" A demanded as he knocked back another shot of sake.

"The Akatsuki they been rumblin' causing ruckus and troublin me. They're the biggest threat coming to be. This is a new enemy? Nah, look how their placement's key." Bee said as he placed a finger on the map and tapped at Hidden Rain. "We got intel sayin' that's where we'll find Akatsuki. This Orochitama will be their priority. Fool, we patiently pass, waitin' with sass, till Akatsuki or Konoha go to blow up their ass." Bee smirked triumphantly.

A ignored the stong feeling to roll his eyes and considered the words. It might be that he was drunk, but Bee was making sense. This new village would be bordered with Iwa, Konoha, and Rain. Orochimaru, or Tama or whatever, had supposedly previously been in Akatsuki and turned traitor. Hell, she had already spilled secrets about them to the public in front of every single village attending the Chunin exams. Her being a lure for Akatsuki wasn't a terrible idea. Akatsuki was a band of powerful traitors and A hated that all the villages just allowed them to exist. They were going to be trouble, he knew it. This way, they had a juicy target to draw them out.

Plus, it made a stronger buffer between them and Iwa.

"This is making far too much sense to be coming from you. What's Gyuki been saying to you?" A asked critically.

"Damn Bro! Why you always doubtin when my smarts flow?" Bee asked, offended.

A punched him in the head.

"Gah! Fine! He's been sayin' he's talked to Three. The Snake Lady's been spillin' tea, knowin' things like she's a long trustee. Knowledge that's knockin' and rockin' the tailed beasts and makin' their anger floppin'. Cat like that you don't bother unless your looking to have a lotta good men to end up Shinigami fodder." Bee said seriously.

Bee had a point. This Orochitama was dangerous and had consistently seemd to know things she shouldn't. If even the tailed beasts were being cautions, it would be foolish to move recklessly. However, that danger couldn't be ignored either, especially if at the head of a village. It wouldn't be now nor would it even be soon, but this was a threat he couldn't just let do as it wills. Especially considering the strange pox that swept through his village seemed suspiciously well timed to Orochitama's desires.

He would leave it for now, but plans would be made and forces would be drafted. Infuriating this new village and finding out it's players and power structure just became his nation's highest priority. Then, after they knew what they were dealing with?

Well...he'd have to see.

Notes:

And that's chapter. Bit short, but I really wanted to get something out.

Thanks for being patient, and here is an update on my health. I had the surgery. They cut out the cancer spot and biopsied the nearest lymphnodes. There was cancer in the first lymphnode but not the subsequent ones. That means I have/had stage 3c cancer. I am also awaiting MRI results to know for sure if it had spread to my brain through my skull.

I'm currently going through Immunotherapy right now that greatly lowers the risk of me getting it again and of grabbing up any tiny bits that escaped. The side effect of this is that I near constantly experience flu like symptoms of body aches and lower levels of energy. Considering I still have a job that I get paid based on commission, this has left me little energy for writing. I'm going to try to get better at that, because my writing really matters to me, but I can't promise a monthly update right now.

Thanks for your patience, and I appreciate all of you for sticking with me.

Chapter 50

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hatake Kakashi stared up at the sky with a blank stare, hoping the tranquility of the twinkling stars above would somehow find its way into the chaotic maelstrom of his mind. The day had been more exhausting than his previous one, and that had involved fighting against an S-Class ninja of his own village while running the risk of having his mind taken over or being declared a traitor by his reason for living.

They got separated and asked to repeat the order of events and the facts of matter and their thoughts behind decisions over and over to at least twelve different (and extremely high ranked) ninja that fact checked them and their information against what they were able to dig up. It was mostly formality since the Hokage believed them, but the Hokage also wasn't trusting his own mind at the moment.

All the interviews were fine. It was hardly his first time having to go through such tribulations. His issues came from a source much more personal.

"Hey, can I hide up here with you? I'm getting real tired of hearing the strongest Kunoichi in Konoha's history argue with a kid like they are both five year-olds."

"Don't meet your heroes." Kakashi droned as he scooted over on his place on the rooftop. Anko gave a snort of laughter then sat down moments later.

The two lapsed into silence as Kakashi did his best to focus on the stars overhead, the feel of the roof on his fingertips, and the smell of trees on the air. Anything to stop himself from falling back into his memories. Memories that didn't matter because the right decision was so obvious that his personal feelings didn't matter; shouldn't matter even.

He wondered if Orochitama knew?

Probably. The bitch.

"So what's eating you?" Anko asked as she leaned back against the roof.

Kakashi briefly considered telling the woman to fuck off, he barely knew her on a personal basis, but decided that someone that would shit on Orochitama's plan with him sounded nice.

"Orochitama has offered to give us the Three Tails so long as I am its Jinchuriki." Kakashi stated simply. The Hokage had given him permission to discuss the matter with whoever he wished. He probably meant Naruto, but he didn't particularly care how liberally he interpreted that permission at the moment.

Anko's head snapped to him. "No shit?"

Kakashi hummed.

"Fuck." Anko cursed and lapsed into silence, contemplating that information. Unsurprising considering the woman's complicated feelings towards Orochitama. The night again filled with the cries of bugs and the occasional hoot of an owl that was usually not actually an owl. More than half of all the bird calls in Konoha were ninja signaling each other.

Kakashi had to wonder how long Orochitama had planned this. Had the woman been scouting him for the position all the way back in Wave? It felt more probable than he wanted to admit. He wanted to accuse the woman of doing this specifically to hurt him emotionally, but it made no tactical sense whatsoever. You didn't sacrifice a Biju just to hurt a single jounin's feelings.

"So what's the issue. Aren't you already that brat's teacher? Have a problem when the jinchuriki is you?" Anko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. I wouldn't have blinked if it were any other Biju. It's just..." Kakashi trailed off, he spent a heartbeat deciding if he actually wanted to talk about it before continuing. "My Genin Team under the Yondaime Hokage consisted of myself, Obito, and Rin. Obito died first."

"Yeah. It's how you got your eye. I remember there was a political shitstorm after."

"Right. Well, after that Rin had gotten captured by Mist ninja on another mission. They sealed the Three Tails into her with a seal that made to break on command. They wanted us to return to Konoha and have her release a biju in the heart of the village." Kakashi stated.

"Seeing as I don't remember the village ever being attacked by the Three Tails, I guess something happened to stop that?" Anko asked.

"Yes. She threw herself on my attack. My hand plunged through her chest and she died with the seal intact, meaning the Three Tails reformed somewhere nearby and Konoha was saved." Kakashi answered.

"Shit." Anko said as the implication hit her. "So...she wants you to take the reason your teammate died into yourself. That bitch! There is no way she didn't know!"

Kakashi smiled under his mask. It was nice that someone else agreed. "I have to do it. It's too much power for Konoha for me to refuse."

"Such a big prize has to be for a great cost. What's the Snake Bitch get?"

"Konoha publicly supporting her new village and claiming a mutual defense pact. She also thinks that her village will be too scary to NOT attack if they have the Three Tails on top of the Seven Tails and all that she just unveiled. By giving it to us it also tells the other villages she's willing to play ball and be peaceful."

"Bullshit!" Anko yelled "Look, I heard that she's not supposed to be exactly Orochimaru but if any part of her is that bastard there is another reason and we can't let her have time to just set up whatever the fuck it is she's trying to do."

"Her personality...well, I'm not sure how much of her is really Orochimaru, but she's showing a lot of signs of genuinely trying to be peaceful. Her new village is in-between Konoha, Iwa, and Kumo. She'll make for an even more imposing barrier to someone starting a war. Isn't a chance at peace worth the shot?" Kakashi asked.

"No!" Anko yelled immediately before glancing down and biting her lip, "Maybe. I don't know. But you don't make a plan that counts on a viper NOT biting you! Not without you making for damn sure that you can trust it."

Anko had a point. There was a lot to gain here, but Orochimaru was a monster beyond compare. Who was to say they weren't just letting a worse problem prepare?

As much as the current plan grated against his personal feelings, he had to agree with the underlying logic of everything. The fact that Naruto kept managing to predict the Snake Woman and he insisted she wasn't bad also made him not want to write off the woman's character either. He needed a compromise. Something to test the woman's intentions.

"Anko? What is something that morally upstanding that Orochimaru would never do no matter what? Something we could demand in exchange for this deal?" Kakashi asked.

Anko looked stunned for a moment before immediately adopting a smile pointy enough to be fitting for a Kiri Swordsman. "Oh, I have a thought."

"Then lets bring it to the Hokage before Orochitama does something else outrageous to shake the foundations of the ninja world." Kakashi droned before cursing himself. He knew better than to give lines like that for the universe to fuck with.
xxxxx

Yamada Taro often cursed his decision to become a ninja. His dreams of honor and glory for himself and Hidden Waterfall took its initial blow when he took his first chunin exams and saw how wide the difference was between the 'small' villages and the big ones. It was permanently wounded when he realized that if wanted to be relavent in his job he'd have to train himself to the breaking point every day if he wanted to make up for being of middling talent. That hope died as he held his teammate when she gave her last breath.

Being a ninja wasn't glorious and sure as hell wasn't honorable and his mission became to keep his head down and live to be old enough to retire. A distant dream, he once thought, until the elder sat him down offered him this new job. When he heard that Waterfall was combining with two other hidden villages, he had initially been certain his future contained only more bloodshed and death, all until he had been offered the job of a new kind of mission desk.

Taro cast his gaze about the town square, looking for a good place to set himself up. The small town of Nikko wasn't anything to write home about. It only had about six thousand people, including the outlying farms and seemed a good place to start. The town wasn't really important, he had literally picked it at random from a list of options available to him. Eventually, he found a decent spot right near the town's well. In moments, he shrugged off his pack, pulled out the summon scroll he'd been given, and with puff of smoke a wooden kiosk appeared complete with a chair that he wasted no time in placing his own comfy cushion on.

The locals gasped and backed away from the sudden appearance of the wooden structure and fearful looks were cast about. Taro simply flipped the sign over stating "Open" to the public.

The people of the town shifted and whispered to each other. Not wanting to be the first one to approach the ninja. Understandable really. Ninja almost always meant death and it truly didn't matter if he sat there for the next eight hours and not a single person showed up. It had been made expressly clear to him and all others that had been assigned this job that the main goal was to make these kiosks common place. To be nothing of note. Forcing the issue would be seen only as suspicious and dangerous. They didn't need to draw people in. Curiosity would handle that.

The idea was genius. Most people that could use ninja aid didn't go to the villages because it was too far, too dangerous, or too expensive to travel. Granted, it would be surprising if they ever got a mission that was more dangerous than a C-Rank doing this, but most villages functioned primarily on D and C rank missions anyways.

"Volume will beat price, especially in peace time. We won't make our money by doing dangerous or prestigious jobs, but by doing more jobs, quicker, and of a kind that no one else is offering." The Elder had told him.

People wanted ninja to come fix their problems. The average villager saw ninjas as killers, yes, but they also saw them as magic; and who wasn't looking for a little bit of magic to solve their problems?

The crowd around him had begun to calm and not look at him like he was ready to pounce on the first person to make a movement he didn't like. They were calm enough for the only advertisement he would verbally give that day.

He stayed seated and slouched in his chair as he raised his voice for the whole square to hear. "Just as the Nations of Rice, Hills, and Valleys have combined to form the Nation of Shafts, so too have the Villages of Sound, Waterfall, and Grass joined to make the Village Hidden in Tunnels. We are here for your convenience."

The people in the square scattered inside the various buildings, peaking through the windows, and having hushed conversations behind closed doors as they collectively tried to figure out what the hell it was that they were supposed to do. It took roughly ten minutes before a man began approaching him. Either some sort of leader in the town or the guy that drew the short straw. Didn't really matter which.

"What is this exactly, Ninja-san?" The man demanded and did an admirable job of hiding his apprehension.

"Mobile Mission Desk. I'll be here all today. Any job you want to give, or to schedule, just let me know. Give me a few minutes to call in the mission, I give you a price, you pay, I hand you a receipt and a timeframe to expect, then you go on your way with the happy assurance that everything will be taken care of." Taro stated, making absolutely certain he remained relaxed yet professional looking.

"But why are you here?" The man pressed.

"Because that's where you showed up on the list of villages. I'm going to another village tomorrow." Taro answered.

"Oh..." The man stated and the two of them lapsed into an extremely awkward silence as hundreds of eyes peeked at them through windows and around corners.

"Did you have something you wanted us to take care of?" Taro said, deciding to give the guy some help.

"Like what?" The villager asked dumbly.

Taro reached into a cabinet in the kiosk and pulled out a scroll that he dropped on the table. The villager hesitantly picked up the parchment and unrolled it as though it were a live viper. Hesitance that disappeared as he began to read the list.

"Tiling the land? Thining the deer population? Birthdays parties!?" The man's voice grew more and more incredulous as he read.

"That last one is the actually the most expensive." Taro supplied helpfully. "But those are just suggestions. You can make unique requests. We aren't picky."

"How do we know you're a ninja and not just some guy trying to take our money?" The man asked and Taro raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do you know many 'just some guy' that can make a whole wooden stand appear in a puff of smoke?"

"R-right. Could you um..." The man cast his gaze around for a moment before pointing to the side where the cobblestone path had a cavity in the middle of the road. "Could you fix that pothole?"

"Sure." Taro said with a shrug before pulling out the most important bit of equipment he had been given. On the surface, it didn't seem like much. The top opened to display a keyboard and a display that showed what it was he was typing. He had two hundred characters at a maximum to communicate back to the home village. He pressed the send key and waited until the screen displayed up to two hundred characters back with a response. Taro didn't know how it worked, didn't care to find out, and had been informed that trying to find out would not be good for his health, particularly if he tried to open said communication box. Thus, Taro typed in the information, pressed send, and within a minute he got his response. "It'll be seventy-five hundred ryo. It'll be fixed today. "

Not a terrible price. It was a bit less that than a single day's wage for the average villager. Well, the average villager of a town that wasn't suffering in squalor.

"Oh...um..." The man hesitated a moment longer before handing over the money.

Taro quickly wrote out a receipt, claimed the money, and handed the man the proof of his purchase. "Nice doing business with you sir."

The villager walked away and the whole town collectively held its breath as all eyes watched to see what would happen. Would the man get up and fix it himself? Would he suddenly run with the money? Would a bunch of ninjas show up out of nowhere and fix it? No one was sure, but the the tension of 'something was going to happen' gripped everyone.

However, tension is something that can be hard to hold on to when the only thing happening was a plane faced average looking man who just so happened to be a ninja sitting calmly and professionally manning a desk all the while the regular demands of life called to them. Dinner needed cooking, children needed tending, bosses demanded work, and money needed making. Only the most stubborn or nosey stuck around to continue to watch what would happen until finally, two hours later, a ninja leapt down from a roof to stand next to the pothole. It was a girl that couldn't have been over the age of fifteen and her limbs seemed to be embracing puberty at irregular rates that spoke to Taro that her covered face had far more to do with acne than ninja secrecy.

The girl ran through a series of hand signs, the earth heaved, and a stone sat perfectly in line with the rest of the stones on the path. The girl briefly ran a foot over it to make sure it was smooth before turning and nodding to Taro before jumping back off over the rooftops.

It was quick. It was efficient. It didn't interrupt anyone's lives and all at once the village's problem was solved.

Then, Taro got to start actually earning his wage. The villagers rushed the stand, asking after prices, questioning viable services, and wanting to just not be the only cool person in town that didn't have a ninja come do something for them.

"The creek through my land is dry!"

"Finding out why is twenty thousand ryo. And addition twenty thousand will guarantee it flows for at least the next month. Baring interference of people."

"I have gophers in my crops!"

"We can exterminate them for seventy-five hundred ryo. If you want a guarantee that your crops still alive after, it will be thirty thousand."

And so the day went, Taro taking requests, typing away on his magical box to answer all their questions. All he had to do was communicate what the box told him. Why were missions the price they were? He didn't know. How did a ninja get there in only two hours? He hadn't been told. Who decided if one of the requests wasn't something available that day? Outside his paygrade. All he knew is that he just had to do this job for three months, then he'd get two months off, and the entire three months on the road would see his food and stay in hotels was paid for by the village, within reason. He only had to be at the stand for eight hours a day and the rest of the time he was free to spend however he chose.

It was the perfect job, it inspired in him a desire to see the world that he hadn't before. He was free to try a new restaurant every day, to look upon any beautiful vistas it held, and to participate in any celebrations at the time.

He just didn't envy the guy that had to read all the requests of both himself and the several dozen other ninja also filling the same job currently.
xxxxx

Tatewaki had to consciously hold back his triumphant laughter; he has already allowed is well earned joyous and innocent laughter to take up so much time that morning that he hadn't managed to properly style his hair. None seemed to notice his glorious hair lacked the structure it normally took, but all marveled at him as he completed his purpose. He had finally been assigned a task worthy of him and he would show all the importance of his person that Orochitama, goddess that she is, had rightfully acknowledged within him!

The day had started with a low level of activity. Just coordinating among parties and verifying positions and having his minions make sure the peons in the field knew their roles. The plan he was administering was one that had been poured over by the leaders of three villages, their highest officers, and Tatewaki had been the last piece to bring it all together. He alone had managed to calculate the correct position and pathing to allow for acceptable response times whilst also not staying in a predictable pattern for enemies to interfere.

Previously, they had been deadlocked into disagreement, but he alone had managed to convince them of their glorious vision.

"Call in! Pothole. Area 207.521. Dispatching D-Rank personnel. Minimum charge. Clear?" One of his underlings shouted, a tad too loud, but who wouldn't be excited at the first call in?

"Approved." Tatewaki replied and the confirmation was sent. Such a simple order would not need his oversight in the coming days, but to begin with it was his mission to ensure everyone knew what they were doing.

Tatewaki walked over to the most impressive bit of the staging room. A map that virtually displayed the two dozen deployments out in the country waiting to respond to these requests. Each group consisting of approximately thirty-three ninja of varying strength and ability that sat ready to deploy in the area to accomplish assigned missions.

The small light that represented ninja number 256384 blinked out place and appeared as a yellow color on the map at the destined location to represent they were in route and had yet complete their mission. As the system was supposed to.

"Branch locations. Verify first movement displayed to area 207.521." Tatewaki ordered into his personal communicator. Unlike Tatewaki's minions, this one was a different communicator. The highest level of encryption possible and sent out to the five satellite locations that were set up to receive missions just the same as this location had been set up. The other ones were not manned to nearly the same extent currently, but rather were a backup should their own location be compromised so that business and communication could go uninterrupted. A genius idea by his current object of worship and future bride, Orochitama.

"Location 02, acknowledged."

"Location 03, acknowledged."

His communicator crackled in response as all the locations gave verification one after the other, making Tatewaki give a nod of approval. The maps were synched up to all locations. The technology that was being used for it was not something new, strictly speaking, but it was technology that had never been used quite like this before.

"Call in! Request for factfinding with possible solution for waterflow issues. Dried creek. Area 207.522. Pricing?" One of his minions asked.

Tatewaki did mental calculations. It was exploratory, so it would need multiple ninja. The location was in the heart of the country and in an area with a nonexistent bandit presence. Fixing the issue with a dry creek could be problematic, as it might be a weather based issue.

Tatewaki quickly paged through to the weather reports in the stated area to see if it had been getting regular rainfall.

It had. Meaning an issue of damming or a troublesome neighbor.

"Tier 4 D price for finding out the problem. Tier 1 C for solving it." Tatewaki came to a snap decision, the most important skill of his current job. They had run practices previously and the consistent issue had been that no one seemed able to both evaluate the issues of a mission and come to a decision on the mission price quickly. One had to know where to find the pertinent data in the available refrence material as well. It was a job few could accomplish and none shined as brightly as he.

"Call in! Roof repair! Class 3 residence! Area 103.824! Price?"

Tatewaki began to open is mouth to respond but found himself cut off.

"Call in! Wolf extermination! Pack unknown in size! Area 602.897." Another voice pipped up.

Simple enough, he just had to-

"Call in! Bandit camp! Red Suns! Area 425.368!" Another called.

Ah, the fish were biting. Quicker than he had expected, the first day was supposed to be slow, but he had prepared for it. Tatewaki turned to his two head minions. "Assist. Refer everything over 1 B to me for finalization."

"Yes!" The two shouted before standing up and beginning to field responses as well.

"Call in! Murder investigation! Mid tier merchant family! Area 103.825! Price?"

Tatewaki gave out a laugh that was so joyful that everyone briefly stopped what they were doing to stare at him in wonder. Truly, they marveled at such pure and magical joy. His vision, and Orochitama's, was going perfectly!
XXXXXX

Notes:

Hello all! I'm so sorry this took so long. I started a new job because paying out of pocket for insurance as well as paying for my treatments had become a bit of a strain, so now I am doing that whole 9 to 5 thing. I'm adapting though and I think I should be picking back up more on the writing quite soon. So thank you for your patience!

Chapter 51: Chapter 51

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

did not bother to put much effort into hiding my approach to Hiruzen's office the day of our next meeting; except to sneak up on a Hyugga on lookout duty he was too much of a juicy target.

"Pardon me, I have an appointment." I hissed lowly in his ear, making ANBU agent jump halfway across the compound into a perfect Jukken stance, a cry of alarm on his lips.

I ignored it, and strode up the front door of Hiruzen's home and daintily knocked on the door. I ignored the entire squad of ANBU Ninja that were materializing behind me and instead smoothed out the wrinkles in my purple kimono and briefly admired how the seamstress had managed to blind the color with the green accents and have the outfit not look garish. It took far longer than was polite to leave a guest on your doorstep before, finally, a reedy old woman answered the door.

"Yes?" The woman asked, looking at me with a complete lack of care.

"I have a meeting with Sarutobi-Sensei." I said, inclining my head to the woman. I recognized her. A ninjutsu specialist that lost her left foot late into the First Great Shinobi War. As a child, I had seen her do things with Ninjutsu that Orochimaru tried to replicate to the day of the botched possession technique. A legend that's greatest feat was being the head maid to the Hokage for fifty years.

I had previously been certain that she resented the position but served in it for a lack of a better position being available, but as her eyes stared dispassionately into mine I found myself questioning my previous bias.

The woman glanced down at the basket I carried. "Is that liquor?"

"Among other things." I answered.

The woman sighed and muttered under her breath, "Every fucking time the three of you gather." The woman looked up to the ignored ANBU and waved a dismissive hand. "Get outta here. You lot aren't doing any good standing around with your thumbs up your ass."

Then she slammed the door on Konoha's shadowy elite.

"Change out of your damn outside shoes." She ordered and began walking down the hall. I shrugged and did as she asked before obediently following after. I considered the old lady. She had her fire still, even as the peg that served as her foot made the faintest sound on the floor as we walked. She was not the broken and bitter woman I had thought for years. She was just a soldier that did her dues and found a new purpose in life. Something that you could find everywhere in the ninja world. The old people that had been damaged and found a way out, a new calling that didn't guide them battlefield after battlefield.

I was led to what I knew to be Hiruzen's least formal meeting room. The one decorated with the cheapest furniture and his own art he wasn't very fond of.

It was the room he used when he thought things might grow violent.

"Here." My guide said with a gesture.

"Thank you, Kobayashi-san." I stated with a bow, "And thank you for the inspiration."

She glanced at me with suspicious eyes before giving a sniff of dismissal and walking away at a more hurried pace. My danger did little to phase the woman, but a cryptic compliment was enough to send her running. The Shinobi World in miniature. A small laugh bubbled from my lips as I opened the door.

"Hiruzen-sensei, I hope this time you will-" the teasing words and amusement faded before the senbon needle impacted the door as I leaned my head inches to the side on pure instinct. I had expected many people to possibly be in the meeting. Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Kakashi I was vindicated on, but the last member was one I had been very specifically avoiding thinking about.

There, with a gaze full of piss and bile was my former student, the hand of Jiraiya on her shoulder being the only thing stopping a follow-up from the needle.

"Anko." I half-whispered.

"How ya doin' sensei?" She spat back like a curse.

Such contempt in her eyes. To my teammates, I had always felt that it wasn't really a betrayal against them, but against the institution of Konoha. We had fought, but I had not directly gone against either of them except to fight Jiraiya as I made my escape, and even then he was only hospitalized for a scant few days. Anko, however, I had directly betrayed. I had made her feel lesser. I had marked her with a seal I wasn't sure she'd live through and was in it's experimental stages. I had acted purposefully cruel towards her because Orochimaru...because I needed to be cruel to her more than the rest because I cared for her and needed to push her away.

What a fucking coward I was.

With an effort of will I tore my eyes away from her face and my mind gave a glance to her condition. She hadn't been sticking to the diet regime and exercise program that I had designed for her.

Good.

"Far better, as of late. You have grown into beautiful young woman, Anko." I said softly.

She recoiled as if I slapped her before her anger redoubled. "How DARE-"

"Anko." Sarutobi cut in, his voice neither chiding nor disappointed but commanding. Anko straightened with a scowl, but made no further moves. Jiraiya took his hand off the woman's shoulder and stepped back to stand at Hiruzen's side, Tsunade on the other. Kakashi was a bit further behind, leaning against the wall with a forced casualness that would have fooled most people, but the way he held his eye and the set of his shoulders told me that the man was almost as wound as Anko was.

"Orochitama. I have considered your request and-"

"With all due respect, Sensei, I did bring refreshments. If we are here to represent different nations, there is certain niceties that should be observed, no?" I asked with a forced cheerfulness.

"No." Hiruzen stated firmly. "You have snuck into my home, made fools of my village to the public, and made quite clear that you are not one of my ninja. You do not get to forgo politeness only as you find fit then weild it against us to get what you want. This is deeply personal and emotional for all here and you will not dictate to us the pace of things for your own comfort."

I paused. Hiruzen was right. I was trying to pull things into my own pace, and make myself comfortable without thought of how the others here would react when, in some ways, I was the one asking for a favor.

"Of course, Hokage-sama." I stated, inclining my head and dropping the basket of treats on to the table. "Eat them at your own convenience, I apologize for interrupting. Proceed, Hokage-sama."

They all stared at me with a wide array of emotions. Anko was the most disturbed by my behavior; doubtlessly she didn't expect me to apologize and show respect without a mocking tone. Jiraiya looked at me with naked suspicion and my respect did nothing but increase his skepticism. Kakashi and Tsunade sat on the opposite end of things, as they regarded my actions with an affable air of expectation. Hiruzen though, he visibly held back some emotion that I couldn't identify beyond a flash of sadness in his tired eyes.

"We have considered your proposal." I didn't bother hiding my smile. "However, it is with conditions."

My smile remained firmly in place. "Name them."

"Kakashi." Hiruzen began, and the man stepped forward.

"You know the Three Tail's connection to me. To Rin." Kakashi stated, it wasn't a question, but I answered anyways.

"I do."

Kakashi's eyes grew harder. "Then why choose me?"

"Because you can protect him." I answered immediately. "Because Akatsuki will come for him and if you have the power of a tailed beast on your side, I don't think any of the Akatsuki can defeat you, and because you have a heart that can forgive him."

"Forgiving the Tailed beast?" Kakashi asked without judgement, but with incredulity.

"Isobu is a living, thinking, and feeling creature, a comrade. You must gain balance with him to use all his power, but even if you don't, you just having access to more chakra makes you ten times as dangerous as you are now. There is no one else that can claim the same."

Kakashi quietly contemplated my words for a handful of heartbeats. "Do you feel any guilt about asking me to do this?"

I winced and gave a nod. "For what shallow comfort it provides, yes, but it is far too practical of an idea to be ignored, so I asked knowing you would consider it your duty to do so for Konoha."

Kakashi stared at me for a moment longer before nodding and taking a step back, but rather than lean against the wall again, he stood at attention, staring me down. A deserved reaction. In the minds of the ninja, I might as well ask someone in my old world to forgive a nuclear bomb.

I look to Sarutobi in expectation. There was no way that Kakashi's questions were the end of his demands.

In response, Hiruzen slowly, methodically, pulled out his pipe and tobacco and at a glacial pace prepared the pipe to smoke; all with absolute silence in the room. The five ninjas in the room not making a sound as they stared at me in absolute quite and focus. A power play on their part, or at least a defensive one. I had long taken the pacing of every conversation I had with each of them individually, kept them on the backfoot and dictating the course of conversation and thought. This was their way of actively fighting against it. The message was clear, they were not my puppets and they refused to continue to be led by the nose.

I accepted the silence easily. This was the time for them to have the metaphorical ball in their court; I wanted their cooperation not their subjugation. Still, the pressure of so many high level shinobi, three of which that had a solid chance at killing me in a one on one fight, was nerve-racking and I had to fight against the instinct to make a joke or innuendo to break the tension.

After a small eternity, Hiruzen finished lighting his pipe and taking a long drag, speaking on the exhale, "First, I want your word that you nor any of your ninja will set foot in Konoha again without the explicit permission my office."

I nodded my head. It was a reasonable request even if a laughable one. No Ninja Village passed up the opportunity to have spies in another village, it just wasn't done. What Hiruzen actually meant is that if he was every able to prove I or my ninja stepped into his village he wouldn't go first to politics, he'd go first to war.

"I promise. I, nor any ninja under my command will return uninvited by the office of the Hokage."

Hiruzen thought over my words before giving a nod of his own.

"Second. You have made an enormous amount of profit from your 'fair' during the Exams. Money you could not have made without Konoha gathering all those people in the same place. We demand fifty percent of your profits." Hiruzen said simply; as if that was not the most ridiculous sentence the man had ever uttered.

"Sensei, I did not realize that you were going senile. Fifty percent is a ridiculous number and regardless, it was held outside your walls. In your own village charter, merchants outside the walls are excepted from any sort of taxes or tariffs to the village." I replied, strain clear in my voice.

"Ah, but it is internationally agreed that all merchants at a Chunnin Exam must pay the hosting village a fee for the opportunity." Hiruzen replied while taking a slow puff, cold eyes staring me down.

"At ten percent, not fifty!" I stated in a manner most would reserve for the word 'bullshit'.

"Consider it repayment for damage to reputation."

"Your reputation is not that damaged. I'll do the fifteen percent of the NET income."

"Forty percent of the gross." Hiruzen replied, like a mad man.

I opened my mouth to immediately slap down the counter offer for the ridiculous price it was. Hiruzen, was looking for her to give a large amount of money. Mone that, frankly, I didn't really have any more. All those zeroes seemed like an impossible amount but dwindled rapidly when you funded the creation of an international village, paid thousands of employees, built infrastructure, and developed education. I was, in fact, in a not insignificant amount of debt.

Doesn't mean you just tell another nation that kind of weakness though.

"I have a compromise. I will give you five percent gross, however, my village is planning on continuing to do the play in other places. Any shows done in the boarders of the Nation of Fire will continue to get you the five percent."

The old man puffed on his pipe with an unflinching gaze, doubtlessly doing the math. Hiruzen's greatest strength as a Hokage had never been his command of ninjutsu, his charisma, or anything of the like. It had always been that the old man had a great head for numbers and attention to detail. I didn't report my income to anyone at any capacity, but I had no doubt that Hiruzen would have a general idea how much money Sound took in during the fair just because he had people tracking the number of customers entering and their spending habits. Hell, the memories of another world were what allowed me to realize that my old teacher had almost single handedly INVENTED statistics.

The man had a mind for numbers and laws well beyond what any average person could hope to have, but he lacked anywhere near that same grasp when it came to art. What other people enjoyed when it came to matters of fiction and games had always seemed to escape him and he was always dubious on the lasting success of anything that counted on the whims of interest from the masses. I was asking him to give up money now for possible money in the future and the edge of a frown began to form on his face. He opened his mouth to dismiss my proposal when Jiraiya cleared his throat. Hiruzen's eyes glanced towards his only male student before returning to me.

"How many shows are planned in the nation of Fire?" He asked instead of shooting my proposition down.

I smothered my own smirk. It was nice to see that Jiraiya did enjoy the play and expected it to be successful.

"We are currently booked for fifteen venues where we will run through the plays just as we did here. Two of which will be in the capital and be more than three times the price of tickets in Konoha." I replied with a smirk.

Hiruzen's eyebrows rose and the man quickly replied. "Fifteen percent."

"Eight percent of the gross of tickets and refreshments."

My added condition to the percentage gave Hiruzen a pause as I could visibly see the man wondering what else I could possibly be charging for besides tickets and refreshments, because clearly there was something else there if I had added that term. The silence between us stretched as he doubtlessly then began to wonder if I was trying to psyche him out and this was a bluff and his mind fell down that slippery slope of questions instead of asking a straight forward question.

"Twelve percent of all tickets, refreshments, and game-booths." Hiruzen finally stated.

"Ten percent of all tickets, refreshments, and game-booths, but you you provide a C-Rank capable group of ninja as a protection detail to all shows while in the Land of Fire."

A single long C-rank mission was a drop in the bucket cost wise compared to the kind of money we were talking about, but I was, in fact, offering to make it easier for him to send people to spy on my people while in his nation as they were officially part of the team and wouldn't have to sneak around. It had the added benefit of making it more difficult for a third party to set one of us up to make us go at each other.

"Agreed." Hiruzen stated before leaning back into his chair, certain he'd gotten a good deal. He had, but I was quite proud of the fact that he managed to not touch the most significant profit maker soon to come.

Merchandising! Even as we spoke I had a werehose being slowly being filled with plastic periscopic lightsabers; without electronics, but I was certain those alone would make me enough to buy an island within the next year.

"Finally, there is one last demand. This one is not negotiable." Hiruzen stated firmly and I sat up striaghter in response. This was it. This was the one thing Hiruzen really cared about. My mind raced, considering the possibilities but I found I couldn't think of anything he would demand that was too terrible. At worst it was some concession on-

"You will teach us how to remove one of your Cursed Seals."

Shit. I internally panicked.

"I can't do that." I answered, pained.

"I knew it! You just want your experiment to not be fucked with. You won't-" Anko began.

I raised a hand and cut her off.

"No, I can't because I don't know how to teach you all to do it. The seal holds a fraction of my soul to guide the chakra in the seal. The only method I have discovered to remove the seal requires my own chakra to resonate and stop the chakra that's inside the seal from killing the victim as it's removed. I don't have a method that you can use without me."

Hiruzen looked to Tsunade and Jiraiya the two didn't move, but I could see from the flex of their arms that they had signalled something behind their backs. Likely something about how what I said made sense from their own knowledge of seals and how foreign chakra interacts with the human body.

"Then you will remove Anko's seal and allow us complete access to the process. We will be able to study it in full and you will answer any questions about the process."

I swallowed. I did not want to remove a cursed seal any time soon. I had been researching how to do it, but I kept coming to the conclusion that I'd have to take the chakra from the seal into myself to do it and with that the tiny piece of soul within. The soul of how Orochimaru was before we did our little fusion dance. I frankly was not certain what effect it would have, if at all. I had previously subsumed Orochimaru and incorporated him into myself and it might be fine and nothing would change, or it could make it where I was more like the Orochimaru that had previously been.

I didn't know.

However, I needed Konoha to agree and it was clear this final point was what the whole appointment had been leading me to. It was a character test. They wanted to know that I was not like the Orochimaru of old and that this was not all lip service. They wanted to see me give them power to remove an advantage of my village, something Orochimaru wouldn't do.

It wasn't a risk I wanted, but the small piece of soul left in Anko should be merger and insignificant. It probably wouldn't effect me even as much as the girl that owned the body that I/Orochimaru currently possessed.

That word "probably" scared me though.

Still, I could tell that this was not a point a point that could be compromised on. All the ninjas in the room gave me a steelly gaze that told me there would be no further wiggiling on this subject. I would have to hand over the information if I wanted Konoha to give its endorsement of my village. I need their endorsement of my village to make certain that Lightning or Stone wouldn't come to start a war.

In the end, I had only one option.

"When would you like to begin?" I asked.

"My whole afternoon is free." Hiruzen replied mildly.

Fuck.

xxxxx

The Shadow Clone technique was forbidden for multiple reasons; the massively prohibitive chakra cost was but one aspect of the danger. The rest came from the fact that the created chakra construct was still you. On the surface, such a statement would be met with an profound rebuttals such as "duh" however, when one recognizes that it is an exact copy of one's self but with the complete awareness that it's existence was, by its nature, extremely temporary. Some that use the technique and realize this feel comfort in the fact the last vestiges of chakra for the clone return to the original, satisfying a continued shared existence. Others that the technique does not hold great drawbacks for are those not prone to deep thinking in the times where they use the technique.

However, most people do not react to the situation nearly as well. When a clone realizes its own separate existence it's something the original will learn too. Memories of that drawing fear and the knowledge of impending death will tend to make the user wary of using the technique. This can compound with the clones, exercising their autonomy, debating internally with running from the fight to live or to wondering if betraying their originator would somehow make them live longer, to cling on to what little life they were granted. Each time one makes clones again, the easier it is for the clone to harbor these thoughts, because the original KNOWS those thoughts and feels them too. Actual betrayal or cowardice from a clone is rare, but the inherited memories make a shinobi just decide the Shadow Clone is just not worth the risk. To actually use a Shadow Clone with all that knowledge one had to either greatly believe in the cause or have an acceptance of death that could be worrying.

Hiruzen heaved a sigh as the Orochitama in front of him disappeared in a puff of smoke. That the woman meeting them was, again, a Shadow Clone said much about the content of his character and it alone was great evidence to Orochitama being a wholly different being than Orochimaru was. Orochimaru had, of course, learned the Shadow Clone techniqued, long ago, but the man had refused to use it extremely quickly and refused to speak on his reasons. Hiruzen used to think it was because he feared death too much, but looking back he couldn't shake the feeling that the Orochimaru's very first clone had quickly thought of betraying its creator.

"A Shadow Clone? For a meeting?" Anko asked, well aware of the issues with the technique.

"I wouldn't want to personally show up for a meeting with three of my greatest enemies either." Kakashi pointed out as he withdrew his book and began reading; or at least pretending to. Hiruzen was never certain which it was.

"Think she's actually coming back?" Tsunade asked.

"Yep." Kakashi stated firmly. Though when the room looked to him, he ignored everyone.

"You sure? You saw her blink. When Sensei went for her money she got mad, but it was controlled and barely noticable. A genin could tell she didn't want to remove the cursed seal. She does not like this deal." Tsunade continued.

"Just a guess." Kakashi said simply.

The Shadow Clone of Orochitama had disappeared with the promise of her real body returning in two hours with both the research notes on the removal of the Cursed Seal as well as the schematics for the seal she wanted to use to turn Kakashi into a Jinchuriki.

"You did good." Muttered Jiraiya, catching Hiruzen's attention. "You got her guard up and fought her big on the money so she felt like she couldn't fight as much on the Seal. Secured a damn good money deal too."

Hiruzen nodded before saying, "And yet."

Jiraiya nodded too. "And yet." He agreed.

Notes:

Done! Sorry that took so long. This chapter was difficult for me. and I keep having shit take way longer than I expected with this stuff, lol. I figured 4k words would get way past this interaction and I was clearly wrong! lol