Jareth strode through the halls of the castle with a meandering stride, his mind preoccupied. He could still hear the faint sound of Sarah's voice echoing in the back of his mind. But it wasn't Sarah that he was concerned with at the moment.
No, the boy was the real question. Toby.
"I suppose I'd better evaluate him," Jareth muttered to himself, tapping the crystal orb that danced effortlessly across his gloved fingers. The orb shimmered, refracting light in a swirl of possibilities. He didn't want to think about what would happen if the boy ended up a better match for the Fae.
As he focused his thoughts on Toby, he felt a familiar tingle in the center of his mind… the pull in his chest… the sharp tug as the Labyrinth decided, on its own whim, to relocate him.
When the world reassembled around him, Jareth found himself standing in the grand, chaotic expanse of the Ughlánas audience room. He felt the familiar presence of the throne looming behind him, the faint scent of Goblin ale and chickens lingering in the air. But something was wrong. It was too quiet.
Jareth looked down at himself—and froze.
Gone was the leather armor, glittery as it was. Instead, he was clad in… grey tights. A flowing white shirt. And over that, a black leather vest that resembled a corset.
A corset.
The material clung to his torso in a way that was both ludicrously tight and painfully ridiculous, with laces crisscrossing up his chest. It sparkled faintly in the dim light, as though mocking him with its theatrical flair.
His long black gloves were still on, as were his boots. He supposed that he should be grateful for that much. For a moment, there was only silence. Then, from the shadowy edges of the room, came the first stifled snort.
Jareth's gaze snapped upward. The Ughlánas.
They were everywhere, peeking out from behind pillars, dangling from rafters, and huddled in disorganized heaps around the room. Their wide eyes blinked in disbelief, and then the laughter began.
It started as a low rumble, then grew louder, more riotous, as the Ughlánas tumbled over each other in hysterics. One Ughlánas rolled onto his back, kicking his legs in the air, howling uncontrollably. Another wiped tears from her eyes with a ragged sleeve, choking on wheezy guffaws.
"Majestic, Sire!" one managed to sputter between fits of laughter. "A right royal look!"
Jareth's mouth tightened into a thin line. His eyes flashed dangerously as he lifted a hand to silence them, but the Ughlánas only laughed harder, their squeaky voices echoing off the stone walls.
Is this really your idea of a joke? he thought to the Labyrinth with no little fury.
The Labyrinth, of course, didn't respond. The magic simply pulsed faintly around him, as though immensely pleased with itself.
Growling under his breath, Jareth threw himself onto his throne, the corset creaking faintly under the strain of his movement. He draped himself across the seat, resting his elbow on the armrest and covering his eyes with one gloved hand in exasperation.
The Ughlánas, sensing that their king's wrath was tempered by embarrassment, only laughed harder. One of them attempted to mimic Jareth's dramatic pose, perching on a pile of broken shields. Another began twirling a piece of rope, declaring, "I'm the Goblin Queen now!" before dissolving into giggles.
Behind his hand, Jareth seethed. It wasn't just the humiliation, as the Ughlánas were ever known to find merriment in even the most ordinary things. It was the principle of the thing. He was the Goblin King, a warrior, a wizard and the ruler of this Kingdom. And yet, the Labyrinth itself had turned its mischief against him.
After a moment, Jareth let out a long-suffering sigh and leaned back in the throne, resting his chin on one hand. He studied the Ughlánas with faint amusement now, their laughter infectious despite his best efforts to remain aloof.
"Well," he said finally, his voice dripping with theatrical resignation. "If I must endure this indignity, you may as well enjoy yourselves. Go on, laugh while you can. The Labyrinth is fickle, and next time, it might be one of you in this… outfit."
The Goblins froze at that, their laughter dying into nervous chuckles. A few exchanged uneasy glances, as though considering the possibility of becoming the Labyrinth's next victim.
Jareth smirked. Even the Ughlánas weren't prepared to become such a fashion statement.
Just as he was about to wonder why the Labyrinth had transported him here, a faint sound stopped him… a soft coo, followed by the unmistakable gurgle of a baby's laughter. Slowly, almost reluctantly, he looked over the gathered Ughlánas. The laughter grew louder, accompanied by delighted squeals and the unmistakable clatter of mischief at play.
There, in the center of the chaotic rabble, was Toby.
The baby was standing on a makeshift cushion of rags, surrounded by Ughlánas who crowded around him like excited children at a fair. One of them was juggling a handful of shiny trinkets, earning delighted claps from the baby. Another dangled a string of beads just out of Toby's reach, prompting him to giggle and wave his chubby hands.
Jareth blinked, momentarily thrown off guard. "What," he began slowly, "is he doing here? Why isn't he at the Creche?"
"Ah, Kingy," the Goblin began. "We… we thought…" It hesitated, glancing back at the others for support. They all nodded encouragingly. "We like him, Sire. He's… fun. And we wanted to play with him."
There was a collective murmur of agreement from the others, accompanied by sheepish nods. One goblin piped up from the back, "He doesn't cry much, neither!"
"Of course you do," Jareth muttered under his breath. "You're Ughlánas. You'd play with a dragon hatchling if it didn't bite you first."
The Goblins laughed, their merriment spreading throughout the room. One of them leaned closer to Toby and wiggled its ears, earning another delighted laugh from the baby. Jareth watched the scene, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He knew as well as anyone that the Ughlánas loved children of all species and would ensure that no harm would come to the boy, no matter how chaotic the scene appeared.
"Very well," he said finally, a teasing note to his voice. "As long as you don't drop him, lose him, or… Goddess forbid… let him eat anything you've cooked, he may stay here."
The Ughlánas cheered, their ragged voices filling the throne room. Toby clapped along, clearly thrilled by the excitement around him.
The moment Sarah turned the corner, the pixies sprang into action. Tiny hands lifted the heavy stone as they groaned softly under the strain. Fispip barked instructions, his voice sharp but joyous.
"Steady now! Rotate it—just a little more—there! Put it back!"
The stone settled into place with the arrow pointing in the opposite direction. The pixies paused to admire their work; their laughter muffled but gleeful.
"What will she do when she sees it?" asked Bumbleknot, the youngest of the group, her nose twitching with excitement.
"She'll doubt herself," Grizzlewump said, his grin widening. "The Labyrinth works best when they lose faith in their own minds."
Before Sarah could return, the pixies retreated into their tunnels, scattering like leaves in the wind.
Author's Notes:
While I certainly appreciated the Goblin King's costume back in the day, and still do, as I've mentioned before, Jareth (as I have written him) would NOT. I wanted to tie in his look of utter frustration as he slumped on his throne, and the chaos of the Goblins around him in that movie scene, and thought I did a pretty good job of it. David Bowie was without a doubt an avant garde when it came to fashion, and I seriously doubt anyone else could have pulled off that look as well as he did, but… Jareth (in my story) is not a glam rocker…
And… if you are getting the impression that the Labyrinth is having fun with this, you would be right. Remember back in 'Imitation Game', when it told Sarah that Jareth needed some magic and surprise to come back into his life. By putting him in this wardrobe, the Labyrinth is playing a bit of a joke on him, to get him to stop taking himself so seriously. He does eventually come to see the humor in it all. Eventually.