Despite my worry about Snow, nothing could tamper down my excitement at going home. I never thought I would think of District Twelve as a comfort but I was craving the familiarity after being in the Capitol for so long.
I know I'll have to be back in about a few months for the Victory tour, but that was future Peeta's problem.
Haymitch and I board the train sans Effie. Since it's only a small broadcast welcoming me back home, there was no need for her to come with us. She would join us later during the victory tour when we have the large feast during the opening of the tour.
As soon as we step inside, Haymitch acts like he can't get away from me fast enough. I don't really know what to do with myself. I had been so nervous on the train ride here that I explored every bit of this train as a distraction but now that I was heading home, it feels like the journey is going to take much too long.
"Peeta Mellark!" A familiar light voice scares the shit out of me and I jump, knocking a decoration off of the small table next to me. A shiver runs through my body as I try to hide the disbelief in my voice.
"K-katniss! What are you doing here?" I keep my tone polite, hoping more than anything that she's not here to take me off the train, to stop me from going home somehow.
She looks behind her as if checking for something, and then closes the door to the train. "I just really wanted to see you before I left," she says, that blush taking over her face again as she looks down at her feet, looking a little guilty. "But then, I thought…"
The train horn sounds, and the car we're in jolts, starting to move. I start to panic. "Wait! Stop the train! Katniss, we need to get you off-"
"No!" She says, a defiant edge to her voice. "You said I should see your district, and that's exactly what I'm doing!" I don't remember saying any such thing but I wasn't about to tell her that.
"What's all this noise out here?" Haymitch's raspy voice shifts my attention. He freezes when he sees Katniss next to me, and rubs his temples. "I don't get paid enough for this."
"You don't get paid at all," I remind him, but he doesn't find my joke amusing in any way.
"What are you doing here, sweetheart?"
"I wanted to see Peeta," she answers, her expression much too innocent to be directed at my mentor. He doesn't deserve it.
"Uh huh," a look of understanding crosses his face. And then he asks something that makes me realize that Haymitch will always be smarter than I give him credit for. "Does anyone know you're here?"
She opens her mouth to say something, but at Haymitch's stern look, she shuts it, shaking her head.
If nobody knows she's here, then they'll panic once they figure out she's gone. And I had no desire to figure out what Snow might do then. "Katniss, you can't be here," I tell her. "If we tell the conductor now, we can get you back before they notice." I start to move towards the front of the train but she grabs my arm with both hands.
"You don't want me here?" I expect to see hurt in her eyes, but there's only curiosity, like she's genuinely curious as to why someone would tell her no.
"Of course I do," I lie.
"Then what's the harm? I'll just tell Grandfather I wanted to spend some time with you. I'm sure he won't mind. It's not like I had anything else on the agenda," she says and the too-big smile is back on her face. She claps her hands with a squeal. "I'll go call him right now! Haymitch? Where's the phone?"
Haymitch points to the door behind us leading to the next car. Katniss thanks her and runs, tripping over her dress in her haste.
When the door closes behind her, I whip my head towards Haymitch. "What was that, Haymitch? Why aren't we sending her back?"
Haymitch raises a brow. "I thought you wanted to go home. If we turn this train around, who knows how long that'll delay us. I'm sure Snow will send someone to come get her as soon as she makes that call. He keeps a pretty tight leash on her. Doesn't even let the public ever really get a glimpse of her."
"Peeta?" Katniss sticks her head back into the train car. "Grandfather wants to talk to you."
Haymitch mumbles something like 'Good luck' and shoves me towards the door.
My hands are shaking as I bring the receiver up to my ear. "H-hello?"
"Ah, Mr. Mellark. How are you?" He asks. I can hear the knowing smile in his voice.
"Good, sir," I keep my voice calm. "I apologize that you weren't alerted ahead of time about Katniss, um…" I hesitate, not sure how to word what's now happened.
"Foolishly following a boy onto the train?" He finishes for me, his tone more amused than anything but I don't let my guard down for even a second.
"I swear I had no idea, sir. I had nothing to do with it," I promise.
"Calm down, Mr. Mellark. I believe you," he chuckles. "I've always indulged my sweet granddaughter, even more so since the death of her parents. But she can be naive and a bit…lacking in knowledge of the cruelty of the real world," he explains. So I guess Katniss', as Haymitch put it, harmlessness wasn't lost on Snow. "Fortunately for her, she's become quite fond of you, and while that in itself worries me as I know how boys your age can be, you won't let anything happen to her, will you?"
"Never, sir," I tell him. Whether that stems from fear of Snow or not wanting anything to hurt someone as innocent as Katniss is yet to be determined. "I offered to have the train turned around but-"
"Oh, no. It's much too late for that," he says. "I have some business to attend to anyway, and I do think seeing the two of you together will have a great effect on the districts."
"Sir?"
"I don't need to remind you that your stunt in the arena with the girl and the flowers have put me in a difficult position in the districts. I've been getting word back about whisperings that it was seen as an act of rebellion."
I'm quick to defend it. "That was never my intention."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, I now have a growing problem on my hands, and I would hate to see the people in the districts, the ones you care so much for, have to suffer. I think we both know a rebellion won't do anyone any good."
I did know that. Even if the districts wanted to rebel, the Capitol had so many more resources than we did that the chances of anything besides death coming out of it would be slim.
"What do you need from me?"
"I need the districts to believe that there is no ill-will between our Victors and districts who reap the benefits of winning the games, and the Capitol. A united front."
"How united?" I ask, because I didn't think just pretending Katniss and I were friends was going to cut it.
"I think you know, Mr. Mellark," Snow says, clearly enjoying having all the power in this game we're playing. "As I've mentioned, my granddaughter is quite taken with you and I think all of Panem would be thrilled by your union," he says. "I would like to officially announce it the next time you're back at the Capitol."
I feel like I can't breathe anymore. He knows he has me now, fully under his control, and with him implying that I'm to, what, marry Katniss? I will never be able to escape. Although maybe that's the other side to being a Victor that nobody ever sees. Why Haymitch eventually turned to drinking.
"One more thing, Mr. Mellark," Snow says, pulling me out of my thoughts. "My sweet Katniss is to know nothing about this. I wouldn't want her to think any of this isn't real. I fear it would destroy her."
That's funny. He has no problem sending children to fight to the death but is overly concerned by Katniss' feelings. My hatred for him, and by extension, Katniss, grows.
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Give your mentor my thanks, will you. He'll have his work cut out for him having to keep an eye on the both of you until the Victory tour," he says. "Goodbye, Mr. Mellark."
The phone line goes dead, and the nausea I've been trying to tamper down finally becomes too much. I rush to one of the trash cans and dry heave into it.
"Peeta! Are you alright?" Katniss bursts in, rushing to my side. I feel her small hand on my back, rubbing in circles. I had expected her to be disgusted by me almost throwing up. Any girl back home would be.
"Just motion sick from the train," I choke up, but Haymitch, who had followed Katniss in, knows I'm lying through my teeth.
"Let me get you some water!" Katniss says, jumping up. "And I'll try to find some medicine too."
"She wants so badly to be helpful," Haymitch says, watching her leave in a hurry, a hint of pity in his voice. "So what'd he want?"
The pure horror on my face must let him know how serious this is because for once, Haymitch looks fully aware. "What is it, boy?"
"He wants me to…to marry her." My hands still haven't stopped shaking.
"Is that all?" He looks significantly less worried now.
"Is that all? Is that all!?" I hurl the empty trash can across the room, hitting a lamp. It shatters on the ground. "Haymitch I…she…I don't get a choice!" Why doesn't he understand how terrible this whole situation is? There are few freedoms we have in the districts, and being from a merchant family with a family business, I still have a little more than most. But the one freedom we all had was the choice of who to marry. Even with the divide between the seam families and the merchant families in the district, it wasn't like there were any laws to stop crossover. If you truly loved someone, you were free to marry them.
Even though I'd never had such luck within my district, I was never going to even explore that option now.
"You never get a choice. They just make you think you do. Nobody ever really leaves the games. The rules just change," Haymitch finally says, and for once, I understand his cryptic message about the Capitol. "Look, at least this way, you'll be protected."
"What do you mean?"
"As long as you're with that girl, Snow probably won't touch you. He'll want to keep her happy."
"Which means I have to keep her happy," I finish, filling in the blanks.
"It won't take much," Haymitch says. "Just be in the same room and she acts like the luckiest girl on earth."
"And when she gets tired of me?" I ask, because that possibility hadn't occurred to me until this moment.
"Katniss isn't that kind of girl," Haymitch tells me, and I'm surprised by how well he seems to think he knows her. "She's uh, stubborn. Once she sets her mind to something, there's really no changing it. Otherwise I would have at least tried to keep her away," he admits.
"I found it!" Katniss' excited voice floats in. The door flings open but she trips on the edge of it, catching herself on the knob, and spilling some water from the cup she's holding. "Oops."
Haymitch snorts, and I glare at him.
"Thank you, Katniss. But the nausea faded, I don't need the medicine."
She looks down at the small white pill in the palm of her hand. "Oh.
Something tugs at me, and I want to do something to bring her smile back. "But I'd love some water."
"Yes!" Katniss leaps forward with the glass, effectively spilling some on Haymitch. His scowl makes me laugh out loud as I take the glass from her. My hand brushes hers in the process, and she blushes again. "I'm sorry Haymitch. I can get you a towel."
"No need, sweetheart," he grumbles. "I'm going to bed."
"Do you think he's angry at me?" Katniss asks, biting her lip.
I shake my head. "Haymitch is usually like that."
"Right. So what did my grandfather want to talk to you about?"
"He just wanted to make sure I'd take good care of you," I say, leaving out the whole making her believe I love her and getting married bit.
"I can take care of myself," she says, cocking out one side of her hip. It's the first time I'm getting a better glimpse of the stubbornness that Haymitch mentioned, and I don't mind it. But then I remember the threats Snow made to force me into spending time with her and I feel some of that anger creeping up again. I don't like her, she's the reason I'm being forced into marriage.
"But I trust you, Peeta," she smiles, not as big as in public. This one feels more shy, like she truly believes she can fully trust me. "I'm excited to see your district."
My district. Right.
Oh, hell. How am I going to explain this to my family? How am I going to explain this to Gale?