Chapter 6:
The rest of the day was spent in relative quietness. Angela headed back up to her room after lunch and began working on her to-do list. After she had sufficiently gotten through a great deal of the list, she called it quits and laid back down, falling asleep within a few minutes. Her dreams were pleasant ones- her wedding to Tony, them having a baby together. It wasn't until she was slowly brought out of her slumber that she remembered the nightmare she was currently living.
"I'm sorry Angela but it's almost dinner time. I didn't want to wake you… you looked so peaceful" said Tony as he brushed some hair out of her face.
"No that's okay. If I have any shot at sleeping tonight I need to get up and moving. I need to get my prescriptions from the pharmacy too" she said as she slowly sat up in bed.
"It's already taken care of! I went a little while ago and picked them up" he said.
"Thank you Tony… I really appreciate all that you have being doing for me" she said as she turned and looked at him.
"Of course Angela! I'm here for you for whatever you need. I need you to remember that we are in this together. I'm not going anywhere…" he said as he leaned into her, bringing his forehead to hers as they sat there in silence. Tears began to fall down her face as he held her tighter. Finally, she was able to regain her composure and sat back up.
"Let's just see what the doctors have to say on Wednesday…" she said as she stood up and headed into the bathroom. Tony knew she was going to try and give him an out for this relationship before it even began. He didn't know how, but he was going to convince her of his unwavering love if it was the last thing he'd do.
Dinner went by relatively uneventfully as they tried to ignore the big elephant in the room. Tony and the kids kept the conversation flowing, updating everyone on trivial things such as the latest neighborhood gossip to school news to the most recent celebrity rumors. Angela joined in the conversation but only if she was asked a question or her opinion on something. She managed to eat almost half of her dinner, which to Tony counted as a success. She excused herself to head to her office as Tony began to clear the table.
"Kids… before you start getting ready for bed, would ya mind if we had a quick chat?" he asked as he pulled out his chair and turned it around, straddling it as the kids sat back down.
"Sure Dad… what is it?" she asked. "Yeah Tony, what's going on?" he asked.
"Well, I know things are still up in the air between me and Angela. We love each other and that hasn't changed- in fact it's only gotten stronger. She's going to need my help and support through this, even if she won't always admit to it. I was wondering if… if you two would mind if Angela and I started… started sharing a room at night…" he said as he let out a long breath he didn't know he was holding in.
"I kinda figured you'd be starting to do that Dad. Not for nothing, you already slept together once. It won't bother me if you started acting like a real couple…" said Samantha.
"I don't mind Tony. You took my advice already and had sex anyway… just make sure we don't hear anything that would psychologically scar us for life!" he laughed as Tony threw his napkin at him, hitting Jonathan in the face.
"Very funny… alright let me go check in on Angela and then I'll start tackling these dishes. I can't thank you two enough for all you did around here today. We both appreciate it a lot" he said as he gave them each a hug as he headed out of the kitchen and towards Angela's office. He softly knocked on the door, opening it as he heard her say come in.
"Hi Angela… can I get you some tea or dessert?" he asked as he sat down on the edge of her desk.
"Maybe some tea later on. Since I can't go into work for a few days, I was hoping to get caught up on some paperwork but my mind keeps racing and drifting to… to other things…" she said.
"Why don't you stop for today and we can spend some time together. I hope you don't mind but I spoke to the kids about sleeping in the same room together. They already know we've been… intimate. I want to be able to be there for you as much as possible and the thought of having to spend another night away from you is just too hard. Are… are you okay with that?" he asked, knowing he should have spoken to her before the kids.
"Yes… I guess that makes sense…" she said.
"We don't have to Angela. If it's too soon, we can wait. The kids are fine with it, which is has always been my biggest hurdle to pursuing anything with you" he said.
"Me too… no it's good Tony. Falling asleep in your arms has always been my best sleep. Maybe I can actually get some rest. I'm going to need it…" she said.
"How about you wrap up what you are doing in here while I finish doing the dishes. Then we can head into the living room and find something on television" he said.
"Sounds good to me Tony. I'll be out soon" she said as she watched him walk out the door.
"How do I give him an out that he's actually going to take? He can't go through losing another partner, he won't recover from that. I will not put him through this!"she said to herself as she leaned back in her chair, putting her arm across her forehead. She couldn't think of a way to end the relationship without damaging their friendship, so she decided to put the idea to the side for now and just enjoy the night with Tony.
Wednesday came faster than either Tony or Angela had wanted it to, even though they both desperately wanted to know what was going on. Tony called out of his classes for the day and had to convince a very worried Jonathan and Samantha to go to school. Sitting home all day wouldn't change the outcome, no matter what it was. Angela toyed with the idea of driving herself, but there was no way Tony was letting her go there by herself.
"Alright Angela, are you ready to go? I have your discharge paperwork" he said as he helped her with her jacket. She found the pain wasn't nearly as bad as it had been, but she was still quite sore.
"I'm good Tony. Let's go…" she said as she headed out the door, Tony right behind her.
They arrived at the doctor's office. Angela was able to check in and was handed what felt like a small forest's worth of paperwork. She spent the next ten minutes completing everything, handing the clipboard back to the receptionist and coming to sit back down next to Tony.
"Look Tony… I know what you keep saying and I really do appreciate it, more than you know… but I can't expect you to stand by me as my partner if this turns out to be the worst case scenario. I won't have you go through that again…" she said as she willed herself not to cry.
"I don't care what happens or what you are trying to say to yourself to convince me to stop loving you. It's just not possible Angela. I wake up every day more in love with you than I was the day before. If… if this turns out to be something bad, you're gonna have to get out a restraining order to keep me away Angela! And even then, I'm still going to break it! You don't have to be so brave all the time Angela. We are in this together…" he said as he started to wipe away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone like you Tony…" she said as the nurse came in and called her back. Tony stood up first as Angela's legs refused to work. He held out his hand to her and helped her to her feet, giving her a quick kiss and hug. They walked back arm in arm to the exam room. Angela's vitals were taken as well as more bloodwork. They were brought into an office shortly afterwards to meet with the doctor.
"Hello Mrs. Bower. My name is Dr. Drake and I am the head of the oncology department. I have taken a look at your chart and test results from the emergency room. I would like to schedule a CT scan and MRI as well as some additional tests before we make any final treatment recommendations. However, there is a very strong possibility that surgery will be required to remove the mass as it is causing you pain and discomfort. Once we have a better understanding of the invasiveness of the mass, we can have a more concrete treatment plan going forward" he said.
"When… when will we know what type of mass it is and if it's… cancer?" she asked as Tony put his arm around her back.
"At this time, I'd like to wait and see what some of the results present before speculating. If I decide surgery is not an option, we will proceed with a biopsy to determine if it is a malignant growth. If surgery is the option, which I am most confident will be the course of treatment, we will perform the surgery first and biopsy the mass during the surgery. It will be about a week to ten days until we know the results and of course the treatment to take if it is malignant" he said.
"What… what are the chances that it is cancer?" asked Tony as he felt the color drain from his face.
"I don't like to give odds at this point. Your white blood cell count was elevated but that is to be expected for the infection. I am hoping the blood we just took can give us some additional answers but until we do the biopsy, nothing will be conclusive" said Dr. Drake.
"How soon until I can have the tests and know for sure about the surgery?" asked Angela.
"I will have the receptionist schedule the appointments before you leave. I am hoping everything can be done within in two weeks so we can schedule the surgery shortly afterwards. You will be sent for pre-surgical testing; assuming there aren't any issues, surgery could be within a few days from that point" he said.
"What's the recovery time for the surgery if she ends up needing it?" asked Tony.
"It depends but most likely two to four weeks depending on how extensive the surgery turns out to be. I need to warn you that there is a chance that this may result in a full hysterectomy, especially if cancer is detected or presumed. Have you thought about having more children?" asked the doctor. Tony's heart sank at the doctor's question.
"I… we… yes I've thought about having more children. Will… will it be possible?" she asked. She had no idea what strength she mustered at that moment to answer that question.
"We still don't know the exact nature of what is going on, but I would say the chances of you conceiving naturally are quite low. You might want to considered harvesting your eggs prior to the surgery and seeing about surrogacy. Some of my clients have used a fertility clinic in the city, Hope for All, and have had great success" he said as he passed her a brochure.
"When would we have to make a decision about it?" asked Tony, knowing this would be yet another hurdle in their relationship they would have to overcome. He needed Angela to be okay no matter what. Children would be a wonderful bond to have with her- heck he was beyond excited when they thought she was pregnant- but he would forgo any further children just for her to be alright.
"Let's see what the CT scan and MRI show and we can go from there. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask" he said as he ushered them out of the room. Both Tony and Angela were in a daze as the receptionist made her follow up appointments and scheduled her tests. They were in the car before either of them came out of it.
"Okay Angela… I'm going to see about rearranging my schedule to take you to the appointments" he said.
"Tony… if… if we couldn't have any more children, would… would you be disappointed?" she whispered through tears as she looked out the window.
"Angela, please look at me for a second" he said as he gently turned her head to face him. He wiped away some of her tears as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.
"I love you. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I… I won't lie and say that when we thought you were pregnant, it made me happy to think we would be able to share that bond between us but that's not the only way a couple can bond together. I need you to know that if more children aren't possible, I am more than alright with that, more than enough. I love the two children we have now more than anything in the world and wouldn't trade them for anything. I want and I need you- not having you in my life is like not having air to breathe. It's just not an option Angela. So if it ends up that we get our happily ever after with just the two of us, that is more than enough for me…" he said as he cupped the side of her face. Tears were freely flowing down her face as she just crumpled into his arms. He held her in the car for what felt like hours until she was able to breathe normally again.
"I…I am going to call that clinic. If you and I are really forever and for some miracle this isn't the worst case scenario, I would like us to try for a baby. The few hours I thought I was pregnant with our baby were some of the happiest moments I have ever had. If this really is our only chance, I'd like to take it" she said.
"If that's what you want, I'm in Angela. Just promise me that you will put yourself first. Make sure you are taken care of… I need our priority to be your health and well-being. I mean it, I will be absolutely fine with it just being you and me" he said.
"Let's head home Tony and we can talk about it more…" she said as she sat back in the seat and put on her seatbelt as Tony put the car in gear, heading for home.