Chapter 7:
They arrived home a short while later. Their plans on continuing their conversation were sidetracked as Angela got a work call. Tony opted to pull out his books and start studying for his exams. He was elbow deep in algebra and equations when Samantha and Jonathan barged in the front door.
"Where's my mom? What happened?" shouted Jonathan as he threw his bag on the side chair.
"Yeah what happened? Did they tell you anything more?" asked Samantha as she came to sit next to Tony on the sofa. Hearing the commotion, Angela came out from her office to join them.
"Slow down you two! Come over here and take a seat" said Angela as they both reluctantly did as they were told.
"We really didn't learn much more than what we already knew. The doctor is sending me for more testing in the next week or so. Once he gets the results, he will let us know what course of action he thinks is best. I will most likely need surgery to remove the mass. There's a chance they might need to do a full hysterectomy but they won't know that until they are operating. They will do a biopsy during the surgery to determine if the mass is cancer. We will just have to wait and see until then…" she said.
"How can they not know? There's no testing to do? Maybe you need to see someone else for a second opinion" said Samantha.
"Yeah they have to be able to know something!" yelled Jonathan as Tony came over to him and put his arm around his shoulder.
"This doctor is one of the best, I promise! The first test is already this Friday and the other one early next week. I'm going to be with Angela every step of the way" said Tony, his words soothing them both.
"Can we do anything?" asked Samantha, directing the question to both Tony and Angela.
"No sweetheart! You just focus on school and helping out your Dad when he needs help around the house. Once we have a better idea about a surgery date, we can see if anything else needs to be done" said Angela as she put her arm around Samantha's shoulders.
"Do you need anything now Tony?" asked Jonathan.
"No pal… why don't the two of you go get a snack and then start your homework. Angela and I will be in her office for a few minutes" he said as they got up off the sofa. Once the door to her office was shut, Tony pulled her into an embrace, stopping momentarily to look into her deep brown eyes before leaning into a passionate kiss.
"What… what was that for?" she managed to ask once she was able to catch her breath, a faint smile lingering on her lips.
"To see that smile again… I've missed it so much. I've missed you Angela…" he said as he tightened the grip on her back.
"I've been right here Tony…" she said as her arms draped over his shoulders.
"There's here and there's here Angela… you've been going through the motions since this happened. I know you have a laundry list of things on your to-do list, but I was hoping we could sneak away on Friday after your CT scan. I want to take you out for dinner, just the two of us…" he said, giving her the puppy dog eyes he knew she'd have a hard time saying no to.
"Going out for a few hours would be nice…" she said as her smile grew.
"Alright it's settled! I finish with class in the early afternoon and your test is at 3:00pm. We can come back here afterwards and get ready to go out. I can make reservations" he said.
"Sounds perfect Tony… I was actually going to call that clinic they gave me for more information. If I can, I'd like to schedule a consultation as soon as possible" she said.
"Okay Angela. Just let me know when and I will be there" he said.
"Okay… why don't you go and help the kids in the kitchen and start dinner. I am actually a bit hungry" she said, music to Tony's ears.
"Sure! How does roasted chicken with potatoes and vegetables sound?" he asked.
"Sounds delicious! Okay go get started!" she said as she gave him another kiss before he headed out of the office. She headed back over to her desk and found the brochure they gave her for the clinic. Hope for All was a great name for a fertility clinic and the brochure was catching to the eye. She took a deep breath and called the number.
"Hi yes my name is Angela Bower and I would like to schedule a consultation" she said to the woman over the phone. She went over her brief history and within ten minutes, she was off the phone with an appointment scheduled for Monday morning at 9:30am. She decided she needed to make one final phone call for the day.
"Hi yes I need to schedule a meeting with someone at your law office. Someone that specializes in trusts and updating wills. Also health care proxies…" she said as she took down notes on her legal pad.
"Next Thursday at 3:00pm is perfect. Thank you…" she said as she hung up the phone. She crossed off two items on her to-do list as she sat back down on the desk chair. She put the to-do list and brochure in her bottom left desk drawer. She organized her desk as best as possible, accidentally knocking over one of the picture frames. She picked it up and held it close for a few moments. It was one of her favorite photos of the five of them, taken sometime during their first year as an unofficial family. Tony and Angela had their arms around each other as well as Samantha and Jonathan. Mona was in the center, holding the family physically and metaphorically together. She smiled as she looked at all of their happy faces, until tears came back to her eyes, hoping the family was strong enough to get through whatever lie ahead.
By Friday, Angela was mostly feeling back to normal, with the occasional pain if she overdid it. The doctor didn't want her returning to the office until Monday, so she was able to work from home. Between Tony and Angela, they were both able to convince the kids to keep their plans with friends, both spending the night out. Mona was continuing to make herself as unavailable as possible, stopping by briefly in the mornings and only made one family dinner. Angela tried talking to her to give her an update, but she wanted nothing of it, simply stating when there was more to know, she'd know.
Angela was able to work right through the day until Tony got home from class. He was able to drive her over to the imaging center for Angela's CT scan. They walked hand in hand into the place as Angela checked in.
"Alright Mrs. Bower, your doctor ordered a CT scan with contrast. You will need to lay down for fifteen minutes after we put the IV in and then we will run the scan. The entire procedure should take about a half an hour, give or take" said the nurse.
"Am I able to come with her?" asked Tony as he held on to her hand a little tighter.
"For this part yes you can come with her, however, for the actual scan you will need to wait out in the lobby" she said as she led them down a hallway. Angela was given a gown to change into as she was led to another room where the nurse administered the IV contrast.
"Are you okay Angela? Can I do anything for you?" he asked as he held her hand.
"No I am okay. I just have a metallic taste in my mouth but I read up that it is normal" she said.
"You read up on it? Do I want to know what else you've read up on?" asked Tony as he slowly rubbed her forearm.
"Probably not! I've been researching practically since I came home from the emergency room. Lists and things to prepare for…" she said as she tried to focus on the feeling of Tony's hand on her arm.
"Why am I not surprised! I'm hoping one of those lists includes… us" he said as he brushed some hair off her face.
"Us?" she asked, playing dumb as she needed him to explain himself.
"Don't play dumb Angela! Yes, us! I'm hoping one of those to-do lists, those pros and cons lists has 'Tony and Angela' written in bold letters with a whole bunch of pros listed and only one con…" he said with a chuckle.
"What's the one con?" she asked, this time truly not sure what he was referring to.
"We're not married yet…" he said as though it was quite obvious.
"Not married… yet?" she asked, still not fully understanding what he was getting at. They had adjusted well sleeping together in her bedroom, despite not being able to have sex. Was he having second thoughts about their arrangements and thinking marrying her would make it right? She was at a loss for what he could possibly mean.
"Well yes… I know we started this conversation back in Jamaica. It was a matter of when, not if, we got married. Things have obviously changed, but my wanting to marry you hasn't changed at all, if anything it has gotten much stronger. I'd marry you today if I thought you wouldn't look at me like I was crazy!" he chuckled.
"You still don't know about you Tony enough to know more about us. People get closer during times of crisis. I don't want you regretting anything if… if something happens" she said.
"I know I am not always the greatest at showing and telling you how I feel- I loved show and tell as a kid but was never really good at it! I've dreamed about us being together, being a couple and yes even getting married for a long, long time. I've spent the past four or five years trying to justify keeping you at arm's length because I was scared and I truly didn't think I deserved you. I mean I still don't… you could do so much better than a washed up ex- ball player from Brooklyn…" he said.
"Oh Tony… you're the one who could do so much better. Someone younger, prettier… healthier. Who can give you everything you need…" she said as tears came to her eyes. She couldn't believe how this conversation evolved.
"You are all I've ever needed Angela, from the moment you opened up your door. You have given me everything I have ever wanted- a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman who has been much more than my boss. You are my best friend, the second mother to my daughter and I truly believe my soulmate. You gave me the best son I could have ever asked for in Jonathan and Mona… where do I even begin with her?" he asked rhetorically.
"Mother is pretty unique. I don't know if I'd use her as a selling point for a relationship though!" she laughed through tears.
"Really? I think you'd be missing out on a great opportunity! It would have worked for me! Either way, despite us not making any sense on paper and us both having our own insecurities, this is real Angela. I mean it- you are the one I am meant to be with… forever. You are my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow…" he said as he leaned over and gave her a kiss. Just then, the nurse came in to take Angela for the scan.
"Mr. Bower, you can wait in the lobby. She will be out in about thirty minutes or so" she said. Tony simply nodded, secretly loving being thought of as Angela's husband. He gave her another kiss as she walked out of the room.
Angela was escorted to a small room with large machine. There was a table she was asked to lie down on with a large tube-like structure at the one end. She knew the MRI would be closed in so she was very pleased to see this wouldn't trigger her claustrophobia. Once she was settled on the table and the nurse was out of the room, the machine started to turn on and make noise. The table started to move as she was glided towards the tube. She could only assume multiple images were being taken as she moved through the tube. Soon, the machine silenced and Angela was glided back out.
"Okay Mrs. Bower, the images came out well. Your doctor will be sent the results and will get back to you soon" said the nurse.
"Can you tell me the results?" she asked.
"I'm sorry ma'am, only the doctor can tell you" she said as she led her back to the room to get changed. She grabbed her belongings and headed back to the lobby. She was met with a loving embrace from Tony as they linked arms and headed home.
An hour after returning home, they were showered, dressed and downstairs getting ready to head out to dinner. Tony was helping Angela into her coat when Mona walked in through the front door.
"Hi Mother! How are you? How was work today? Did you bring me home the work that I asked you for?" she asked as she went over to give her a hug.
"Yes dear it's all here, although I don't know why you couldn't just wait until you got back into the office on Monday" she said as she hung up her coat and handed Angela the files.
"I was hoping to get some work done this weekend but I think I might be able to be persuaded to wait…" she said as she looked over lovingly at Tony. "I was actually hoping we could talk a bit this weekend. I wanted to give you some more updates and just… talk…" she said, hoping Mona would acquiesce and give her a good mother/daughter talk she so desperately needed.
"Oh I wish I could but I already have plans! Back to back… to back dates up until Monday! Maybe we can catch up on the train Monday morning, if I can keep my eyes open! I don't intend to get much sleep, if you catch my drift…" she said with a smirk.
"But Mother I'd really like to…" started Angela when Mona cut her off.
"Angela, I really do need to go. Monday, alright…" she said rather gruffly as she headed out the backdoor, the tears already streaming down her face as she climbed the stairs to her apartment.
"What is her problem? It's like she doesn't even care!" said Angela, anger very present in her voice.
"That's not the problem Angela. The problem is she cares too much. She doesn't know what to do with… with the unknown. She's scared and that's an emotion Mona Robinson does not handle well…" he said.
"Doesn't she think I'm scared? I'm terrified I'm going to die and leave you all! And not having my own mother to talk to? To be comforted by, even if Mona is my mother!" she yelled as the tears started to fall. Tony was momentarily stunned by her words, but soon snapped out of it and rushed to her side, pulling her into his chest as she sobbed.
"Hey, hey now! You are not going to die do you hear me? No way! Whatever this is, we are going to tackle it head on! All five of us! Mona… Mona will come around eventually. She's tough as nails, just like you! If I can get through to you, I'll get through to her! Just give her some time" he said as he rubbed her back, her sobs slowly lessening.
"Thank you Tony… I really don't know how I would be doing any of this without you… I love you so much…" she said as she gave him a kiss.
"I love you too Angela… more than words could ever say. Now, let's head out to dinner!" he said as he offered her his arm as they walked out the door.
They arrived at the restaurant just in time for their seven thirty reservations. They were seated right away at a table overlooking a beautiful garden. The foliage in Connecticut was just starting to peak and the colors were stunning. Not quite as stunning as Angela, thought Tony.
"So what on the menu looks good? You want to start on some appetizers?" asked Tony as he looked over the menu.
"It all looks so good! Maybe the stuffed artichokes? I am thinking about getting the filet of sole with fresh vegetables" she said.
"Sounds good to me! I think I am going to go with the sirloin. A steak sounds good to me right now!" he said as he closed the menu. Soon, the waiter came over and took their orders. Tony ordered them a bottle of champagne, which came out after a few minutes.
"Champagne Tony? What's the occasion?" she asked as Tony handed her a glass of champagne.
"No reason other than I am the luckiest guy in the world to be out with the most beautiful woman in the world…" he said as he clinked glasses.
"I think we are both equally lucky to be in each other's lives…" she said, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice.
"No sadness tonight Angela! Tonight is just for us, as a brand new couple, here together and in love…" he said as he leaned over and captured her lips with his own. They would have continued if they weren't interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Have I died and gone to heaven Herb? Is that actually Angela and Tony I see, making out like a couple of lovesick teenagers! How? When? And why wasn't I let in on this new development? You've got a lot of explaining to do missy!" said Wendy as she pulled Herb over to the table.
"Hi Wendy! Yes, well it's been a very recent development and we haven't really told anyone yet…" she said as she looked over at Tony.
"I'm one lucky guy Wendy…" he said as he picked up her hand and gave it a gentle kiss.
"Oh Angela I am so happy for you! I need all the details… and I mean all the details! The sitter gets off in a half an hour otherwise I'd be getting them now! I will be calling you to set up lunch to hear it all!" said Wendy as she gave them both a quick hug before walking off with Herb.
"You may need more than a lunch to fill her in! Just make sure you paint me in the most flattering light Angela. I have a reputation in her fantasies to live up to!" he laughed, causing her to laugh right along with him.
"I'll do my best Tony… she won't be disappointed! At least not about that…" she said as she took a sip of her champagne.
"She's been one of our biggest supporters and a very good friend. She won't be disappointed at all. I think you will find she's gonna rally the troops to support you…" he said.
"I know I have to tell people eventually but… then it makes it… real…" she said.
"I know sweetheart. You know you can control the narrative here. You tell who you want to tell and even then it's what you feel comfortable saying. I'll stand by you no matter what…" he said.
"I know and I appreciate that more than you can imagine. Let's talk about something else okay?" she asked as she knew this conversation would only lead to more sadness.
They spent the rest of the evening catching each other up on Tony's classes, the gossip from Brooklyn, Angela's new clients and the kids' updates. By the time the check arrived, they were both full and ready to head back home. They grabbed their coats from the coat check and headed out the door. A band was playing at an adjourning restaurant; a makeshift dance floor was cordoned off, lights strung all around the sides.
"You up for a dance Angela?" he asked as they headed over to the dance floor.
"Sure Tony… any excuse to be closer to you…" she said as he led her to the middle of the floor. The band started playing 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship. Tony pulled Angela close to him as the music began to play.
Looking in your eyes, I see a paradise
This world that I found is too good to be true
Standing here beside you
Want so much to give you this love in my heart
That I'm feeling for you.
Let them say we're crazy
I don't care about that
Put your hand in my in my hand, baby, don't ever look back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart
And we can build this dream together,
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us,
nothing's gonna stop us now ooh ohh
I'm so glad I found you,
I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes to I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times,
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do
Let them say we're crazy
What do they know?
Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart
And we can build this dream together,
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us…
Oh all that I need is you
All that I ever need.
And all that I want to do is hold you forever, forever and ever…
And we can build this dream together,
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us...
Nothing's gonna stop us… now
Oh no… hey baby...
I know…nothing's gonna stop us
And we can build this dream together,
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us
Nothings gonna stop us now…
By the time the song ended, Tony and Angela both had tears in their eyes. The song spoke to them, telling each other all the things they had already spoken and all the things they had left unspoken. They wiped the tears from each other's faces as Tony cupped her face in his hands. It was as if time was standing still, their eyes locked in a loving gaze. He leaned in, capturing her lips with his own. His hands moved around to her lower back, pulling her as close to him as possible. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, neither wanting to bubble to burst.