Beginning Note:
i love sukea and jounin!obito.
originally this was meant to be a fluff fic, but instead you get angst and pain. enjoy!
Obito runs into Sukea for the second time in his life at Ichiraku's.
His vibe is completely different, Obito observes from a safe distance within a swirly spatial distortion. Sukea is chatting with Teuchi, curly hair gently fluffed by the wind. With his long coat, scarf, and cheerful demeanor, the man looks nothing like the seductive charmer Obito met at the bar two weeks ago.
Deciding that he's behaved like a creep for long enough (he does not stalk people from Kamui, what are you talking about Bakashi), Obito casually strolls over to the ramen stall, trying his best to emanate "nothing interesting here, just a guy running into his hottest hookup ever". He isn't quite sure about his success, given how he can feel his heart pounding.
"Hey, Teuchi-san. Long time no see, eh? One order of the beef special please, if you could." Obito casually slides into the seat next to Sukea. He's super casual. Very smooth. No awkwardness at all. If Teuchi gives him a weird look for his behavior before turning around to make his order, that's between him and Obito's memories.
"Obito-san," Sukea greets in surprise as the jounin turns toward him, light grey eyes widening before his face smooths out into a pleasant expression. "It's great to see you again. I hope your mission went well?" Oh, right. I left him a note in the morning about my mission, explaining why I left. Obito feels a twinge of guilt.
"It went as well as possible, I guess," Obito dismisses, not really wanting to go into detail. He had already complained to Kakashi about how his team members had kept on looking at him like he was liable to explode, and didn't really want to drown Sukea in his personal woes. He drags a finger across Ichiraku's wooden countertop, letting his fingernails catch on the grain as he tucks away his latent negativity. He didn't want his emotions to sabotage another chance with someone as pretty as Sukea. "I'm sorry that I had to leave you. Did you get home safe?"
His careful inquiry brings out a warm smile on Sukea's face. "No worries, Obito-san. I got home perfectly safe. Thank you for your care."
"Drop the -san, yeah? I think we're close enough for that now." Obito grins back at Sukea, chest bright with warmth. Sukea looks like he's about to protest out of politeness but is interrupted by Teuchi's arrival with his own order. Sufficiently distracted, Sukea mutters a quick thanks and tucks into his ramen with gusto. "Hungry, huh?" Obito observes, to which Sukea looks up with a blush. Cute!
"I spent the past two weeks in the wilderness," He confesses, one hand scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "I missed civilized food."
Obito's eyebrows (well, one visible eyebrow) raise in interest. "In the wilderness? What were you doing out there?" Sukea doesn't bother pausing his quest for food, instead simply using one hand to point at the camera hanging around his neck. "Ah. I see."
So cute, Obito thinks again as he unabashedly stares at Sukea steadily wolfing down his portion. Like a chipmunk stuffing its cheeks. He very carefully does not flinch in surprise when Teuchi puts his bowl down with a clink and glances at Obito knowingly. Hey, it's not my fault that he's so pretty that I got distracted…
After taking a few bites of delicious ramen, Obito notices Sukea standing up from his seat and arranging his robes as he prepares to leave. "Leaving so soon?" He asks, hoping he doesn't sound too eager for Sukea to stay. The other turns toward him with a regretful smile.
"I'm sorry, Obito. I really have to go, one of my clients is waiting for a time-sensitive photo. I'll see you around, yeah?" With those words and a parting wave, Sukea walks away rapidly.
Obito's hand is still raised from waving back when Teuchi shows up in front of him. Dropping his arm, Obito sighs into his bowl. "I wasn't too awkward, right?"
The pitying look Teuchi gives him says everything he needs to know.
"...Well, at least he dropped the -san."
The thing is, Obito's curious.
Nothing's really piqued his interest in a long while. It's been a cycle of missions, drinking, sleeping (of both kinds), and then missions again for a long time, with only some bursts of excitement and drama every few weeks.
When Sukea slinked up to him, calm, confident, and sultry, Obito was immediately drawn toward him. Everyone knew Obito didn't do "serious" and was always down for some consensual adult fun. Sukea happily agreed to all of his rules regarding his Sharingan and Mokuton cells.
One becomes just a tad cautious after Orochimaru starts sending spies to sleep with them.
Beyond the frankly amazing sex, Sukea also got along with him out of the sheets. They had chatted for several hours before Obito brought them to his apartment, and Sukea was everything Obito found attractive in a man: kind, funny, charming, and smart.
But anyways, Obito was curious. Sukea was rarely around, something he attributed to his job as a traveling photographer, so Obito needed to maximize every opportunity he saw him to glean bits and pieces of information. But not in a stalkerish way! Just in a friendly, casually keeping track of him way.
There was just something magnetic about Sukea, like a mystery begging to be solved or a present waiting to be opened. Look underneath the underneath, Kakashi liked to remind him, and Obito fully intended to utilize his friend's advice to the fullest.
Three days after their unintentional ramen date (if it could be counted as one. Obito thought it totally did), he runs into Sukea again in the woods.
(Obito had been in the area already, but he couldn't be blamed for changing his course a bit when his Not Creepy Kamui check-ins revealed that Sukea was near his location.)
The brunette is standing in a clearing and staring into shadows on the ground. When he steps down from the trees, steps purposefully heavy, Sukea spins around in surprise. "Oh, it's you," Sukea notes in relief. The photographer quickly returns to surveying his surroundings, looking at everything from bushes to clouds.
"...Hi. What's up?" Obito's on edge, something in Sukea's behavior setting off his internal alarms. "What are you doing out here?" The forest they were standing in lay only a couple miles outside of Konoha's borders. He feels foreign in its embrace, the calls of the surrounding critters unfamiliar to him.
"Ah, you know. Photography and all that," Sukea smiles at him briefly, but it seems off. His upturned mouth pulls at the purple markings near his eyes in a wrong way, leeching the genuinity from his gaze. "How about you? What brings one of Konoha's top jounin to a forest like this?"
The way Sukea never stops looking around makes Obito nervous. It reminds him of sleepless nights on missions, spent back-to-back with Kakashi and watching for danger with their Sharingan.
"Patrol," Obito responds, keeping his answer short while his Sharingan spins to life, giving in to his urge to check for something. He subtly scans the area, looking for strange chakra signatures, and— there!
Though Kakashi specializes in Kamui's long range usage, Obito has found several quick ways to compensate. He utilizes one of them now, swirling away in a blink only to reappear above the missing-nin hiding in the shrubbery.
The well-disguised woman (seriously, she even smelled like the forest, what the hell?) lashes out with a kunai. Good instincts, Obito mentally notes, but useless against me. He's allowed to feel a bit smug about his Mangekyou abilities when he sacrificed half of his body for them.
The blade phases through him, after which he promptly disarms her with the element of surprise. Obito has the missing-nin (from Kumo, based on the slashed hitai-ate) pinned and knocked out on the forest floor in a matter of a few seconds. Standing up, he dusts the dirt off his knees and tilts his head up to see Sukea with his camera out.
Blinking, Sukea puts down his device meekly. "...You looked very cool, Obito-san," He offers, now smiling with much more real humor. "She didn't even see you coming." Obito may or may not be preening under Sukea's attention, but he really can't be blamed. Take that, Kakashi. I can pull pretty men!
"Thanks! You were actually really helpful by tipping me off," Obito fishes out a length of reinforced rope from his pack, securing the missing-nin's limbs before hauling her onto his back. She flops around, thoroughly unconscious. "How'd you notice her? I didn't even realize before I had my Sharingan out."
"Photographer's instinct?" Sukea chuckles when Obito levels him with a deadpan stare. "To be honest, I think she's been following me for a while. Lucky that you showed up when you did, huh?"
Obito considers the weapons he's confiscated off of the missing-nin. Poisoned kunai, senbon, and shuriken, not to mention the body sealing scrolls—this woman was set up for assassination. "...Yeah, lucky." He isn't sure if he wants to know why a missing-nin is trying to assassinate Sukea. No matter the reason, he can't help a protective well of anger rise up against her for attempting to hurt anyone he finds dear. It's not an unfamiliar emotion: he feels the same way whenever Kakashi takes ANBU missions.
Well, Ibiki won't blink twice if I ask him to be extra harsh this time. Obito had requested the same for many of Kakashi's enemies, his own subtle form of revenge. Still, why in the world was she going after Sukea?
Shoving his thoughts away temporarily, Obito tries to give Sukea a reassuring glance. "I'll take her to the Konoha authorities. You should be safe now." Just to make sure, he also sweeps the clearing one last time with his Sharingan. "I'll see you around, yeah?" He echoes Sukea's parting words from Ichiraku's before vanishing in a showy spiral.
(...Wasn't Kakashi's last mission in Suna? Obito recalls, before he falls asleep in the safety of his bed.)
Over the span of a few weeks, Sukea goes from being elusive to a constant presence in his life. It's kind of due to Obito's Not-Stalking, but the other half is because Sukea just seems to be increasingly around Konoha.
Part of Obito is happy, because most of his downtime is now spent with his new friend. However much he wants to step up their relationship again, Sukea seems determined to avoid all his advances, so Obito respects his wishes. Besides, his new friend is a good conversationalist, and he enjoys their daily chats over lunch or dinner.
The other part of him selfishly wants to keep Sukea to himself. It's probably the Uchiha blood, Obito laments to himself as he nurses his fourth cup of sake. Making me feel possessive and shit. The urge is particularly hard to control right now, as his friends tease him about the "cute brunette" they've seen him around.
"He's not even a jounin," Anko notes casually, feet up on the table. She gets a few nasty looks from the owner, but no one asks her to move—they all know she could be doing much worse. Asuma and Kurenai make assenting noises, the former turning to Obito conspiratorially.
"Yeah, Obito—you usually go for the badasses! Like, the 'could break your back with one finger' type!" Asuma exclaims, face a bit too red from good sake.
Obito grimaces at the statement. It wasn't like they were wrong, but… "Sukea is sweet," He states, feeling a bit defensive of his new acquaintance. "And nice. He's great company. Better than you lot, anyways." Asuma cackles at the deadpanned statement.
"Oh, I bet," Anko leers. "In bed, righ—" She's abruptly cut off by Kakashi flicking a napkin into her face. Obito shoots his oldest friend a grateful look; he isn't sure he could've maintained his cool around other people talking about Sukea like that. Count on Kakashi to pick that up. Anko sulks at the copy-nin, who looks away casually and takes a sip of his drink.
Hm. Speaking of Kakashi… The other had been acting odd the entire night, being unusually skittish and nervous. Frowning, Obito walks up to the silver-haired man and pats him on the shoulder. "What's wrong?" He's careful to keep his voice low, aware that Kakashi might not want to broadcast his feelings.
"...Nothing." Kakashi evades. A random observer might have noticed nothing, but Obito is well-versed in Kakashi-language by now: his right hand clutches his glass cup too tightly and he keeps on avoiding Obito's gaze.
There's nothing Obito can do if Kakashi clams up. Having learned this lesson long ago, he instead opts to simply squeeze his friend's shoulder, sliding into the seat next to him without a word. It's best to let Kakashi approach him first, rather than demand answers immediately. Like a cat, Obito's drunk mind supplies, before he ignores the thought to focus on the man beside him.
True to form, Kakashi speaks after a few more sips of his drink. "...Maa, I suppose I was wondering about Sukea." He takes a few seconds to swirl the remnants of his alcohol around, before tilting his head back and throwing back the rest like a shot. "Why do you like him so much?" Kakashi's tone is mild, giving nothing away beyond surface level curiosity.
Obito's inebriated mind begins waxing poetic on Sukea's beautiful eyes, pale skin, pretty face, lithe figure, and charming voice before he catches himself. "Well, he's— uh, he's just— he's just easy to talk to, y'know?" His tongue feels uncoordinated in his mouth, the way it always does when he's drunk. Kakashi's dark eyes keep on looking at him, as if trying to stare into his soul. Wouldn't surprise me if he could…
"It's nice being like, not a shinobi or whatever, around him," Obito pushes on valiantly, before grinning and poking Kakashi gently on the chest with a finger. "Not like you, huh? Always 'hip and cool', like your rival keeps on saying."
Still smirking at his little joke as he lifts his cup to drink, Obito misses the way Kakashi's eyes shutter darkly for a second.
When he looks back over, the other is already standing up and placing his glass down carefully on the counter. "Huh? Where're you going?" Kakashi pauses nearly imperceptibly, before turning and heading toward the door.
"Drank too much," He explains shortly (and clearly lying), nearly outside the establishment. A few more steps later and Obito sees Kakashi form the signs for a shunshin before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Confused at the erratic behavior, Obito turns to his fellow jounin for a second opinion, only to see them all looking at him or the door in various degrees of pity and sympathy.
"...What? What is it?" His question only draws more pity and even a few sighs, with no one deeming it necessary to answer him. Even Gai is staring in a way that seems to try and communicate something, which is altogether unsettling from the typically upbeat man. Obito suppresses a shiver. "Alright, be like that I guess…" He grumbles, turning back to the bar.
Obito thought he had improved his "friendship skills", but he must be mistaken if he can't even figure out what has Kakashi's panties in a twist, and if applicable, punch them in the face. Clearly, I suck at friendshipping, Obito scowls as he nurses another glass. He knows it's a terrible idea to keep drinking, but fuck it—he can cut loose every once in a while. …I hope Kakashi is okay.
Sighing heavily, Obito orders another round and resigns himself to getting blackout drunk.
The first time Obito sees Kakashi after what happened, he almost kills him.
Waking up in the hospital had been surreal. He first registers the soft sheets around him where hard stone had been for the past year, and tension leaves him entirely. He's home.
Then his eyes snap open and the Mangekyou Sharingan spins and he launches himself up, because Rin is dead, and what was the point of it all anyways—
There's a silver flash to his right, some vaguely recognizable voice. Kakashi, his mind distantly registers. His voice sounds different now, after so long. The rest of him, and the physical part of him, screams.
He screams because he couldn't, during the hellish months he spent in that cave, where his voice sometimes felt like it was stuck in his throat.
He screams in pain, because he hasn't stopped being in pain since Madara saved him and his right side burns all the time and he doesn't feel like himself anymore. It hasn't been his body for a long time.
He screams for Rin, because she hadn't deserved to die, not like that, not in the woods shrouded in bloodshed and by a comrade's hand.
He screams in anger, because where was everyone else? Where was his sensei, the fastest shinobi in the world? Where was the backup for two Konoha children fighting enemy ANBU, surrounded in every sense of the word?
And most of all, he screams at Kakashi, for breaking the promise he left him, for destroying the last remnants of hope he had clutched with every fiber of his being, for trying to even speak to him after what he's done—
Obito has his hands around Kakashi's neck when the doctors rush in and pry him off, too angry to even try to use Mokuton and skewer his once-teammate. The last thing he registers as they sedate him is Kakashi's mouth moving, trying to tell him something, before the welcoming darkness takes him away.
The next time he wakes up, Minato is sitting at his bedside. Obito doesn't try to strangle his old teacher, but he isn't sure if it's because he knows he won't succeed or because of the deep exhaustion that has made a home in his bones.
"Obito," Minato whispers, noticing his flickering eyelids. Obito stubbornly keeps his eyes shut. A few shuffling sounds occur, from which he can gather Minato has moved closer to his hospital bed. "...I'm sorry."
It isn't because of the words, but rather the sorrow evident in every syllable, living behind each letter and tearing up his teacher's throat. Obito opens his eyes, and sees Minato hovering over him, head bowed in weighty grief.
"...Sensei." Obito's voice is scratchy. He doesn't say it's alright, because both of them know it's not true. He doesn't say he forgives Minato, because that would come in time. But for now, a single word is enough. Obito closes his eyes again and pretends that tears aren't leaking down his face.
So he gets along with his former teacher pretty well. As the Hokage, Minato gets him out of numerous uncomfortable situations, ranging from a "friendly" Torture and Interrogation visit to Orochimaru practically drooling over his miracle cells. After a few breakdowns and sobbing sessions, they're almost back to their old dynamic, with the exception of a few subjects they never address directly.
One of these subjects is Rin. The other is Kakashi.
Even three months later, Obito can't decide if he wants to apologize for strangling Kakashi or not. Obito knows that Rin was forcibly made into the Three-tails Jinchuuriki—it's the only reason he feels a semblance of guilt for his actions—but he can't forgive Kakashi for choosing that Rin needed to die, deciding that she was expendable, and declaring by correlation that everything Obito had tried to convince him of was worthless. Apologizing feels too much like recognizing Kakashi was right, and Obito's not sure he's ready to take that step.
Despite his constant mood swings, the shock of silver hair becomes a constant at his side. During Obito's stable moments, he can recognize and appreciate the gesture. During his not-so-stable moments, well…
Either way, Kakashi visits him at least once a week. Eventually, Obito grows to be reassured by his presence, even if most of the time neither of them speak. Minato seems happy at their reconciliation, however tenuous it might be.
Then he learns that Kakashi is in ANBU.
The worst part isn't the dangerous missions or high mortality rate (though he doesn't like those either)—it's the way he found out. Obito likes to think he would've had a calmer confrontation with Minato if he hadn't just Kamui-ed himself and Kakashi to the hospital, the latter bleeding out on his back.
He had been heading back to his apartment from a B-rank mission when he heard a strange noise from the alleyway, like a scuffle and muffled groan. Frowning, Obito silently creeps up to the darkened passage, kunai in hand. The weapon is quickly dropped when he sees Kakashi in an ANBU uniform, crumpled on the ground with a porcelain mask shattered next to him.
The growing puddle of red underneath Kakashi (Rin, there's so much blood, what do I do?) makes him freeze for scant seconds before he forcibly snaps himself out of it. "Kakashi? Kakashi, talk to me!" His voice makes the other look up sluggishly, arms tensing as he scrabbles for a weapon in his pouch.
"No— Kakashi, you're safe, you're in Konoha, c'mon—" Obito wraps a hand around Kakashi's wrist (when did he get so thin? Has he always been this delicate?), stopping him in his tracks. Obito's Sharingan stares back at him from Kakashi's face, swirling lazily, before Kakashi lets his eyes fall shut and his body slump.
"Oh fuck," Obito curses. "Kakashi, tell me where you're injured. Stay awake!" He shakes Kakashi's shoulder gently, where the blood hasn't completely soaked through.
"My back," Obito can barely make out the younger's mutter. Nodding to himself in determination, he kneels down and carefully lifts Kakashi onto his back, trying not to think about the warm blood he feels trickling down his neck where the other's head lays. "...Sorry."
Obito doesn't spare him a glance, already on his feet and moving. "What the fuck are you apologizing for, Bakashi?" He's not even that heavy. Obito is sprinting across the rooftops, barely weighted down by the extra passenger. He curses the distance that awaits—Konoha is far from a small village. "Shut up and stay awake!"
"...deserve to know. I'm sorry. Really—" Here, he cuts off, making a hacking noise in Obito's ear. More liquid drips down to his collarbone, Kakashi choking on his own blood. "—really, sorry," He finishes pathetically.
Obito snarls. "Don't fucking apologize now! Tell me later, you stupid bastard!" Kakashi wheezes in his ear. Obito can hear the unspoken words: If not now, then when? What if I never get the chance?
"Will… you forgive me, later?"
Obito swallows back bile, furious and guilty and devastated all at once, too many thoughts filling his mind. But after the weeks they had spent together, Kakashi sitting in silence while he lay staring at the ceiling, walking around Konoha with him without speaking, placing flowers at Rin's grave and holding vigil—there's only one answer he can give. "Yes, alright, Kakashi? Fucking— just stay alive, you hear me? I can't forgive you for shit if you die!"
Kakashi laughs. It sounds terrible, like the sound had been scraped out of his throat and grated every nerve. "...This must be one of the good ones. You only ever— hckk!— ever forgive me in those." Obito can feel his breathing become shallower with every step, desperation driving him to leap further and faster. It isn't enough!
Sheer panic activates his Sharingan, Mangekyou spinning into existence. In hindsight, it feels like second nature when he pushes his chakra through his eye and into existence, creating a swirl in space and jumping through a split second of greyish surroundings before he reappears in the middle of the hospital.
The receptionist shrieks in terror at their sudden midair entrance. Personnel come rushing in, prying Kakashi off of his back, the lanky teen limp against their arms. Even as he's placed on a gurney, Kakashi's eyes remain on Obito as he silently speaks: I'm sorry, sorry, sorry—
With a jolt of horror, Obito realizes he's seen Kakashi mouth those words before, months ago when he was on a hospital bed and tried to strangle him. It feels like a punch in the gut and a knife in his throat, when he thinks of Kakashi apologizing, not even trying to escape his chokehold, willing to die by Obito's hand—
The doctors are afraid to approach him. He sits on the floor, undisturbed and smeared with Kakashi's blood, until Minato flashes in, having been notified by his ANBU.
The ANBU. Which Kakashi is a member of.
Obito thinks his latent trauma justifies the way he launches himself at Minato, shouting about how he doesn't care about his students and why was Kakashi out fighting and why didn't you tell me, sensei how could you, he could've died out there and I wouldn't even have known!
Later, he's grateful Minato had flashed them away from the hospital the moment Obito had gotten close enough to touch—he isn't exactly proud about his subsequent breakdown in some random training field.
He forgives Kakashi. Eventually. After shouting at him for several hours about being an idiot and almost dying on a mission.
After a long while, he even grows to understand Minato's decision. Kakashi is undoubtedly one of the best shinobi in their village, and the duty of a shinobi is to serve. This may or may not play a role in his determination to officially reach jounin rank faster, if only to accompany Kakashi on his missions.
And not everything has been mended between them, not even close, the ghosts haunting their pasts intertwining together too closely. Sometimes Kakashi can barely look at him, on the days where what is visible of his right hand looks noticeably redder and after bad missions he learns about through others. Occasionally, Obito will disappear into Kamui for hours at a time, raging and ranting and screaming until he's tired enough to pass out. Kakashi knows not to disturb him during those times, a lesson learned quickly when Obito had almost skewered him with Mokuton.
But as the years pass, what's left of their team has pulled together into a semblance of regularity. Minato had even become a father, and Obito would never admit it to anyone, but Naruto holds a special place in his heart. Kakashi obviously feels the same, but similarly restrains himself to lavish birthday gifts and occasional pats on the head.
(Who is he kidding, the kid is spoiled beyond belief.)
Above all else, Obito knows Kakashi will always be there, next to him no matter what. Under heavy torture, he might even admit that Kakashi is his best friend.
So why is Kakashi avoiding him now?
Obito doesn't know, but he sure as hell is going to find out.
…Right after he recovers from the inevitable hangover waiting for him in the morning.
Ending Note:
challenge: take a shot every time obito thinks about kakashi when he isn't there
the next chapter will be kakashi pov finally! get ready for an unreliable narrator…