Second Arc - Chapter 13: Promised Moments (Part 2)
Hinata was in front of the mirror, brushing her hair and staring at her reflection with myriad thoughts swimming in her mind. Her heart rate sped up, her stomach churned with nervous flutters—It was Haru's birthday the next day, her son was one year old—her son, who had already spent ten months of his life without his father.
She sighed, examining herself in the mirror—pale eyes wide, crimson cheeks, stress lines at the corner of her eyes and a deepening frown. Cold sweat broke out on her neck as her thoughts warred within her, the impending celebration of Haru's birthday was a moment of joy, yet marred by Hinata's deep-seated grief clinging to her, but she inhaled and exhaled while squeezing her eyes shut to quell the voices in her head.
Her complicated train of thought was halted by a faint sound behind the adjoining nursery room, which Naruto and Hinata had decided to keep for Haru. However, circumstances drove her away from those plans she had mapped out gleefully with endless care. Her gaze shifted to the glow of warm lights spilling from underneath the door, she moved towards it and unbolted, pushing the door open to reveal Sasuke standing in the middle of the room, drenched in sweat that made his white shirt cling to his body and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hands pushed into his trouser's pockets as he eyed the set of toys before him with a narrowed stare. His jacket was discarded on the nearby chair.
She shifted her focus from Sasuke to glance at the once-empty room, haunted by the silence of Naruto's absence. The walls were painted sky blue and purple, the blue matched Haru's eyes and the purple matched hers. The shelves housed neatly folded clothes and blankets, and small toys were lined up on the racks on the walls. The floor was carpeted, and constellations were drawn on the doors and the walls. Her eyes flickered to the wooden crib at the corner, polished and adorned by the stuffed toys. Over the crib, a hanging mobile dangled with tinkling bells and moon-shaped toys, shining and gently swaying with the wind. Beside the crib, a rocking chair and a side table were set up with multi-coloured books on top of it. The scent of peaches and jasmine lingered in the air, the smell that comforted Haru.
The once-empty nursery was flickered back to life, and Hinata's heart swelled as she leaned on the doorframe. Her eyes tinged with burning tears when they fell on the pictures hanging on the wall of her and Haru, pictures of her lover carrying a newborn Haru with a glowing smile. She almost yelped at the pain striking her core.
"Hinata…" Sasuke abruptly turned to her when she let the door shut behind her with a thud.
Her breath was caught at the sight before her. The man looking back at her had a mismatched set of eyes, not the cerulean eyes she envisioned for that moment.
A memory—painful and wretched—crawled into her mind, carrying distaste.
Hinata was dragged by her wrist to a room, her lips stretched into a wide grin as Naruto's warm hold on her propelled her towards the room Naruto had kept hidden from her for a month. "This room is connected to ours! And this is for our baby." He turned to her, his eyes brightened and cheeks flushed.
He pushed the door open, and the sight before her was white. Blank. Empty. The space stretched out before her, was a canvas that she and Naruto would fill in with colours. Naruto raced inside, standing in the center with a beaming gaze. "I think the walls should be orange!" Infectious and utterly radiant energy flared around him, causing the heart within her to thump in her chest. Her eyes teared up at the way Naruto bounced from one corner to another, talking about his plans to create a safe nest for their child, "I think we should have some pictures here," he said as he pointed to the wall near the window.
Hinata laughed, her tinkling laugh echoed off the walls, as she put her hand over her swollen belly. "What if he doesn't like Orange?"
Naruto pouted, squinting and for a moment, a silence dawned upon them. Then Naruto rushed towards her, kneeling in front of her, facing her belly and caressing it with his tender touch. "Yo, you will like orange right? That is your dad's favourite colour!"
Hinata chuckled, carding her fingers in his wild hair. "We will make it perfect for him."
Naruto pressed his lips on her belly, "Your dad is awesome, and your mom is an angel," he muttered to their unborn child. He lifted his face, the mischief vanishing from his bright eyes, giving way to something deep, soft, and profound. "I want to make him the happiest."
"You will be his happiness, Naruto-kun." Hinata smiled, her hand slipping from his hair to his cheek, her softness grazing over the tanned skin, peppering it with the fragile gentleness that made Naruto lean into her touch and nuzzle her palm.
The memory dissolved, the solace in the air shattered and her heart ached at the pull of her reality. The faded memories rendered her breathless for a moment with tears pooling in the corner of her eyes and knees weak at the anguish clenching at her chest. She blinked, the image of the white walls and a man with blonde hair, blue eyes and whiskered cheeks with a refreshing chakra, fractured. In its place, the stark blue walls emerged, accompanied by an unyielding dark gaze—intense and piercing. A man with raven-black hair, pale skin, and chakra that burned like molten fire stood before her, commanding her focus and shattering her equilibrium.
Sasuke spoke up, his voice was low and hesitant, "I wanted to do this…as his birthday gift." He rubbed the back of his neck, an action he definitely picked up from her lover.
"Oh," she breathed.
The awkward silence draped over them, the relentless pull of reality clawing towards them, forcing them to keep looking at each other, but both kept their eyes averted. Her eyes roamed around, taking in every detail. She stepped inside, turning away from him, her fingers trailing over the walls.
"That Sai messed up, I wanted the room to have multiple shades of blue…" Sasuke gruffly began, Hinata paused. "But that idiot is blind—"
"I don't mind." Hinata spun, and her eyes, devoid of lingering tears, locked with his. He gulped as she stepped closer to him, "Blue is his favourite colour. Purple is mine." Despite the growing pang in her chest, she let the faltering smile tug on the corner of her lips.
Sasuke shifted under her gaze. "Oh." He raked his hand in his hair, the sheen of sweat on his forehead glowed under the bright lights, "Then it is fine."
"Hm." Hinata hummed, biting her lips.
Another long beat of silence stretched between them. Hinata could hear her pounding heart and screaming mind, she pulled the sleeves over her fingers, fiddled with it and looked at her feet. Her breathing quickened and a tremble coursed through her but her trance of daze paused as Sasuke reached out to grab her wrist.
She gaped as she lifted her head, eyes wide at the way Sasuke pulled her closer. Her mouth parted, an attempt of a protest burning on the tip of her tongue but she was held back as Sasuke dragged her near the crib. His hold on her wrist was firm but he avoided looking at her, the warm touch lingered like a sting yet she didn't pull away.
"We can change this when he turns two. I have left out the space big enough for a bed…" He explained as he adjusted the mobile above the crib, his precise touch pushed it to sway, chiming sound echoed. "He likes toys with sound so…" he looked over at her, catching her eyes on him. Hinata swallowed the urge to cry or yell and nodded.
She surprised herself when she sighed and acknowledged, "He moves a lot while sleeping, the bigger crib is a better choice for now."
"Will he be happy?" Sasuke shifted, his frame towering over her, the proximity between them surged, and his hold on her wrist tightened. His free hand trailed over the crib, the glassy look draped his gaze.
"He will be happy," Hinata assured, even if the tightening in her chest began to coil around her at the admission. Her breathy voice lingered in the air, wrapping around them like a thread, binding them together. She could feel the slow rise and fall of his chest, the heat emanating from his body and the warm breath ghosting over her face.
His face twitched, and she saw the pinched look on his face and immediately looked away. "Are you happy?" he asked, sliding his finger under her chin to lift her face, to meet her gaze.
She confessed, a bittersweet smile curving her lips, "As long as Haru is happy, I am happy." She gently swatted his hand away from her, and mumbled, "Let me go." Her eyes met the dark eyes assessing her and she raised her hand clasped in his and tipped him a look to let her go.
He cleared his throat and moved away from her abruptly. Gasping for air, he took the front of his shirt and flapped it, to dry the soaked sweat. He grabbed a pack of glow stickers for the wall and raised it, "Only this remains, he loves things that glow so…this goes on the ceiling above his crib." He pointed towards it and darted to the corner, bringing the ladder closer to the crib, and climbing it to reach the ceiling to stick the glowing stars and sun over there.
Hinata felt the pressure within her subsiding, the warmth of the nursery began to weave through the cracks in her grief, breathing new life into her. The air suddenly lost its pressure, light and fluttering, clearing her addled brain. She turned away from him, moving around in the brightly lit room, harmonised with the likings of her son, catered with every detail by her son's chosen dada. She stood before the wall with pictures, and the memories committed to those pictures flashed in her mind.
Naruto holding onto a newborn Haru who was crying and squirming while the picture was being taken.
Hinata and Naruto were kissing their child who was in a bundle of blankets.
Hinata and Naruto, surrounded by their friends, except Sasuke, were joyful about the arrival of their baby.
Those three photos lined up together held the power to thwart her life into a frenzy. The absence of Naruto lapped within her, like always, but in that moment, it seared her insides. The walls were blue, not orange. She wanted to say that to Naruto. Your son calls your best friend Dada. She wanted to complain to Naruto. You didn't decorate the room, Naruto. Sasuke did. She wanted to lament about it.
But the rational part of her which had taken over her life in the past couple of months guarded her against the intense rage that used to knot in her stomach at the torment that she was living.
An amused sound escaped her mouth, as she gathered her courage to take a step that honoured Naruto's memory. For a brief second, she searched for her words, fought against the irrational Hinata and her anger feasting on her, scratching her wounds instead of letting them heal.
She didn't wait for her wretched thoughts to win. She let the calmness seep within her, and Naruto's laughter echoed in the confines of her mind, inspiring her kindness yet again. "Sasuke…" she called out for him, pausing as her fingers traced the face of Naruto on the picture.
Sasuke was startled by the softness in her voice, "Yes."
She threw a glance at him and saw his movements pause. He clutched the remaining wall stickers and looked down at her, brows furrowed. He then climbed down the ladder, the wood groaning under his step. He dropped the remaining stickers in the crib and stepped towards her.
She fidgeted under his gaze, licking her lips and noticed his eyes following her action. Her face grew hot. Sasuke noticed and averted his eyes, rubbing his brows. Her entire body froze with every step that he took to slide nearer to her. The weight of his heady look rattled her resolve, the encouragement Naruto's memory induced in her was fizzling out.
Sasuke grunted, breaking the silence. He fisted his hands and huffed. Hinata found the annoyance twisting his expression, the weariness faded and the mask of stoicism slipped on over his features. He gritted his teeth, "Tell me what is it? Do you want anything changed? You want me to not do this—"
Hinata bit on her lip but then released her breath, closing her eyes shut for a brief moment before she interrupted, "There is no photo of you here."
His eyes widened, his words hung in the air as he took a step back, his brows knitted together. Hinata could see her reflection in his midnight-coloured eye, her rapid breathing eased as he fought with the words, agape. "Uh…what?"
She gulped, her chest heaved as she looked up. His face blanched, while she pushed down the nausea that threatened to overcome her as she offered, "You should take a photo with Haru tomorrow, at the party…so you can hang it here…" She pointed to the back, to the wall, where Haru's family and his precious people were adorning the walls, it felt unfair to not have Sasuke there.
Even if the prospect of it eroded the edges of her sanity, she couldn't be unfair to the man who was indeed her son's happiness. She tasted the sincerity on her tongue, perplexed about the ease in acceptance, her healing was picking up its pace, she thought. Her amusement was nothing compared to the shock marring Sasuke's features. He looked winded and withdrawn, blinking rapidly and almost out of breath.
Hinata's knees buckled beneath her weight, she knew if she had stayed a minute more, she would go back on her resolve and grab the collar of Sasuke and berate him for taking yet another moment from Naruto. She squared her shoulders, kept her eyes downcast and strengthened her thoughts. Prepared to face the gravity of her turmoil alone and not have another breakdown in front of Sasuke, she rushed and began to bolt, but as she brushed past him, his hand latched up to grab her arm and yanked her towards him. Her arm touched his, his breathing mingled with hers, and his grasp was like a suffocating snake—she wriggled in his grasp, and whispers of grunts escaped her mouth.
He spat, his jaw clenched and the shocked melancholy stripped off his features, "Is your kindness out of pity?"
She choked out, "Pity?" She raised her head, narrowing her softened yet puzzled gaze at him.
Sasuke's grip loosened but his glare didn't waver, the pained eyes were throwing daggers at her, and his pride was bruised. "After my nightmare, you have been—"
"No," she snapped. "I am…j-just trying to be sane." A streak of tears slid down her cheeks. He pulled away, his eyes noticing the faint red mark of his hold on her skin, he winced at that which forced Hinata to cover her arm. He stilled for a moment before he almost leapt towards her, his hand trembled as he cupped her face, his thumb glided across her cheek, wiping away the tears. Hinata mulled over her thoughts, "I just want to…stop being angry."
His hold on her jaw was firm as he cradled her, he tilted his head down as he whispered, "I am sorry." His caress on her skin turned her blood to a liquid heat and her head fogged, the jumbled-up thoughts vanishing in the haze. They paused, she was in his embrace, suspended in the silence. Her heart pounded wildly in her ears and the overwhelming bewilderment caught her by her neck, while his warm hand soothed her. "I don't want to keep on being miserable, Sasuke…"
He began, "I—" But her hands pressed on his chest, and the all-consuming rage within her beat loudly, urging her to grab him by his collar but she swallowed the sorrows and pushed him away. He staggered a few steps back.
"I want to be angry at you, lash out at you for doing something that Naruto should have done…but…" she croaked out, helplessness wringing her existence, "But I am tired. I don't have any pity to give you. I have nothing to give you…except this…kindness." And with that, she wrapped her hands around herself and bolted out of the room. She heard her name echoing in the room behind her, in his velvety tone. But she chose to not face him, while she was falling apart.
.
.
.
"Hinata, go get ready!" Ino chimed, hanging the balloons in the corner of Hinata's living room. "Did you do any shopping?" Ino questioned as she untangled the threads.
Hinata looked up with a faint smile at the corner of her lips while cutting the pictures' white background. She responded, "I have—"
"You haven't gone shopping for almost a year, how do you have new things?" Ino climbed down the ladder. She put her hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow.
Hinata grabbed the cut out of pictures and hung them on the banner strings, under the glow of fairy lights woven with the strings. "Sasuke bought me two dresses for your wedding, I will wear the—"
"He bought that dress for you?" Ino rushed to her, standing behind her, she quipped.
Hinata could feel her friend's giddiness in the high-pitched tone. She nodded, busying herself with the banner and fluffing up the balloons on the end of the banner.
"He has good taste." Ino slung her arm around Hinata's shoulder and almost whistled, "Men rarely have good taste in fashion." Hinata managed to smile and look away, focusing her energy on the gleaming room, and decorated table and trailed her hands over the banner strands to check if they were hung properly. Her eyes didn't miss the glint in Ino's stare but she moved ahead, lining up the birthday hats on the table.
Squashing the churning anguish of not having Naruto around, she trudged around the balloon-filled room, inspecting every corner. Ino's voice bellowed, "Even though Haru won't remember this day, I am glad we are having this get-together for him…We don't know Haru much…"
Hinata's chest filled with regret, her gasps were ragged as the lingering loss of Haru's familiarity with her friends made her feel dizzy. The flicker of ache subsided as Sasuke brought Haru into the room. Haru's beaming blue eyes lit up at the sight of the lights, balloons, pictures and ribbons. Sasuke's gaze swept over the room, assessing the change. Hinata caught his eyes as they fell on her, Sasuke immediately glanced at her for a moment with an uncertain gaze and then looked away. Hinata stirred at the reaction.
Haru flashed a smile at the flickering lights while bouncing in Sasuke's arms.
Sasuke whispered to Haru, his smile grazing Haru's cheeks as he said, "Happy Birthday, little one." Hinata's mask cracked and the emptiness was replaced by the flush of giddiness reflected on her cheeks as she saw Haru press a sloppy kiss on Sasuke's cheeks. Hinata's frustrations were beneath the amusement and elation, her son's brightened face twisted into an animated grin, his cackles echoing as he eyed Ino bringing out the purple and blue frosted cake onto a plate.
Hinata felt the wistful shade draping over her as she slowly paced towards Sasuke. She felt Sasuke look over at her approaching figure from the corner of his eyes. "Sasuke?"
"Hm?" he hummed. His eyes darted towards Ino, who was setting up the big candle in the shape of '1' over the cake.
A sensation of puzzlement crept up within her as she regarded him. His cold attitude was imprinting a mark on her. She asked, while her hand lifted to ruffle Haru's hair, eliciting a giggle from him, "Have you invited Kakashi-sama?"
"Why?" he snapped.
"Why not?" she queried, arching her brow.
"He doesn't need to be here—"
"Whatever argument you had with him, I am sure it isn't bigger than both of you attempting to kill each other!" Unbidden, Hinata's anger sparked. Sasuke stiffened, his shoulders tensed. "If you can overcome that, I am sure you can overcome any other grievances. I would like his presence in Haru's life—"
The electrifying charge in the air grew stronger. His stern voice cut her off, "Fine." He leaned towards her, allowing Haru to jump in Hinata's embrace. The stillness between them stretched. Sasuke's dark eyes hovered over hers as she struggled to rein in Haru in her arms, Hinata could feel the sizzle and the pressure of his gaze on her. His keen look clung to her for a while, but as she shifted under the smothering weight of his burning eyes, he whirred on the spot and hurried out of the room.
"Something happened?" Ino's voice was tinged with honeyed concern.
She shrugged, "I don't know…" Her lips tightened inwards, "I…" Hinata sucked in a sharp breath, "He probably hates me." She chuckled, nervousness nibbling at her core. Her finger pinched the earlobe as her gaze lowered.
Ino announced, her voice carried a dry cheer, "He doesn't hate you." Hinata raised her head. Her son was playing with the hair strands and tugging at them, causing her to wince. "He can never hate you," her friend's words were carved into her mind. Because a tiny part of her…believed. But most of her drowned in self-deprecation and chose to ignore the assurances.
Ino's bright eyes locked with Hinata's empty eyes. Her palpitating heart sped up, roaring. She bristled on the spot. Her head turned towards the doorway, her chest heaving at the sight of his absence suddenly.
.
.
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Hinata descended downstairs. Her lilac dress flowed around her as her heels thumped on the wooden steps. Her fingers twirled the toad-shaped pendant resting on the dip between her collarbones as she found herself in the living room doorway, which bustled with familiar people and their chatter and laughter. Kurenai stood near the sofa, her daughter perched on her hip as she shared a cackle with Kiba who was making animated faces to get a smile on Mirai's face. Shino sipped the juice quietly while Kakashi kept his book open on his lip, despite his darting gaze around the room. His attention was more engrossed in the energy around the room.
Inojin was toddling around Haru in the makeshift playpen at the corner under the watchful eye of Sai and Chouji. Her son's familiar voice echoed, as he crawled after Inojin with beaming eyes, and as soon as he caught up with Inojin, he raised his fist in the air, sitting and bouncing on his knees while regarding his 'Dada', who gathered near the window with Sakura, hooked with his arm and Shikamaru lazily peering outside the window, flicking the top of his lighter.
Ino's claps got everyone's attention, and she announced, "Hinata is here! Let's begin the cake-cutting!" Ino dragged the highchair to the center, facing the table where the cake and the feast of sweet and savoury treats were lined up. Hinata gulped, her hand pressed on her chest, as she nodded to everyone with a faltering smile clinging to the corners of her lips.
Everyone began to gather around the table, while Hinata picked up Haru from the playpen along with Ino, who had to separate Inojin from Haru with a visible struggle. Haru let out a whine as Hinata and Ino dragged both of the babies towards the table. Hinata settled Haru on the high chair, cooing as she pointed towards the candle and mimicked the gesture of blowing the candle, "My baby will blow the candle, okay."
Haru's bright eyes ogled at the crowd around him, his lips jutted out in a pout and a small frown etched between his brows. His hands gripping the armrests, his lower lip trembling. Hinata ducked her head, her dark hair tickling the cheeks of her son as she pressed a soft kiss, attempting to soothe the squirming baby. His whines grew frantic as his hands turned into fists, pounding at the tray before him. His eyes pooled with tears, reddening his cheeks as they streamed down his face. "Dada…" he squealed, his small hands began to reach out forward, while his blurred view searched for the familiar face in the crowd. Haru's head turned towards Hinata, "Mama, Ah…Dada…" Hinata's face twisted into a painful shade of desperation as she rubbed the center of her baby's forehead. "Haru, baby…calm down," she requested as she bit the inside of her cheek, avoiding looking at the expectant and questioning eyes of her friends.
Her cheeks felt hot, flushed at the brewing tenseness in the air. The shuffle of feet in the room replaced the cheerful buzz, Hinata could feel the sear of the uncertain glances on her, but she lowered her gaze, and focused on her son. Her chest clenched at the way Haru swatted away the approaching kind grasp of Ino and even her own. But before she could lean down to pick him up, the warm presence enveloped her, and the taste of scorching fire suddenly laced her tongue as Sasuke's barely there brush of fingers over her wrist fanned the flames lapping at her inside.
She stirred on the spot, flinching at the way his hand curled around her wrist to pull her away from the highchair, while he murmured to her, "I've got this, don't worry."
His hand slipped away from hers, leaving the traces of a scalding brush on her. Her hand clasped tightly in front of her as she stepped back, allowing Sasuke to be nearer to her son who desperately clawed the air to reach out to grab the sleeve of his 'Dada', turning his shrieks into soft whimpers at the mere proximity with Sasuke. Hinata pursed her lips into a thin line, schooling her face to carry the empty mask that she always donned as a shield.
Sasuke gently unbuckled Haru from the highchair, lifting him into his arms and rubbing soothing circles at his lower back. Haru pushed his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck and nuzzled, his soft whimpers turning to quiet sniffles. Haru's tiny fists clung to Sasuke's shirt as he mumbled his spells in Haru's ears to calm him down. The tension in the room began to dissipate as Ino scooted closer, patting Sasuke's arm and gesturing towards the cake and the awaiting audience.
The corridors of Hinata's mind were haunted by the ghosts of unreal depictions of her life with Naruto, Haru's cake cutting with Naruto, Haru's tantrums with Naruto…but the grief of her reality gnawed at her soul, crushing her mind to a collapse. But the shadow of a blurred presence clung to her, holding her close, bringing her back to the life she had. That shadow possessed raven hair, duo-coloured eyes and pale skin, his moonlit eyes fixed on her as he reached out to her, pulling her out of her grief-struck trance.
Haru's small hand rested on his chest, his curiosity slowly returning as his tears dried. "Haru, let's try this again." Sasuke had already pulled Hinata to his side. He leaned forward, lowering himself while cradling Haru, his hand touched the wick of the unlit candle and with a flick, fire flared, the shadows of flames dappled over the sunlit skin of her son and a squeal erupted at the way his Dada had shown him a magic trick.
Hinata sighed, in relief as the unnerving disinterest vanished from her son's face and a smile stretched on his lips. Haru babbled, "Ah…Ba…" he clapped his hands and Sasuke smiled, and then Hinata found herself slipping outside of the realm of grief and letting the fated smile touch her soul. "M-More…" Haru cooed as he spoke the recent word he had learned.
Devoured by the realness of the moment, Hinata leaned closer to Sasuke, to live the poetic happiness brewing in destiny's embrace. Her arm brushed with Sasuke, she felt his muscles tense but she sucked in a sharp breath, allowing the prickling sensations to dissolve.
Tears welled in Hinata's eyes as her house buzzed with a beautiful melody as they all sang, "Happy birthday, Haru!"
Haru blew out the candle, and her friends clapped, popping the balloons and party poppers, letting the confetti burst into the air, colouring her world with the shades that she felt would never paint her life. Her gaze lingered on Haru who cheered at the way the flame extinguished and the tiny tendril of smoke unfurled and dissipated in the air. She wondered if Haru had wished something, if Haru could feel the gravity of his age, of his one-year completion…she wondered if her son felt content and full, unlike his mother who felt like an empty shell, haunted by the echoes of her yearnings.
She could feel the cracks on Sasuke's mask as Haru's continued babbling softened his demeanour. Sasuke leaned closer to the cake, his spoon digging in the corner as he picked up the frosting and let the spoon dance in front of Haru, forcing Haru to stick his tongue out with a giggle and then Sasuke became the first person to get Haru to taste his first birthday cake, even before his mother, and definitely before his actual father.
Sasuke turned to Hinata, his piercing eyes bored into her dazed ones, Hinata read them. She understood the flickering message there. She stepped closer to them, eyes sparkling with joyous tears and wicked pain that feasted on her at every second. Her soft hands trembled, yet still cradled her son's cheek, as she offered a small piece of cake to Haru, which her son gobbled with an elated smile shining on his face. Haru was unlike her and Naruto, he didn't like sweets so Sasuke had specifically arranged some savouries, which Haru continued to stare at while licking his lips.
"You both already have Haru with you all the time, let us have some fun too!" Ino cheered, bringing a huge box, wrapped in red towards them. With that, Hinata finally realized how utterly consumed she was at the moment, that she forgot that there were people around her. She cleared her throat, stepping away from the space of Sasuke, finding air to breathe in. She saw Haru leaping out of Sasuke's embrace to Kakashi, as her son got showered with kisses and gifts from her friends. His squeals of excitement echoed in the room, the presence of Sasuke around, kept Haru accustomed to the new faces approaching him. His hesitant looks shifted from Kiba to Shino to Sakura, but then Haru's mouth curved into a smile when Kurenai and Ino gushed to him, playfully swiping frosting over his cheeks.
"He doesn't accept new people easily," Sasuke moved towards her side and commented. "But he will, the more he meets these familiar faces, the better he will be."
"His nature is turning out to be quite stubborn," Hinata mused.
Sasuke scoffed, leaning to the side, "I wonder where he got that from."
Hinata snorted, snapping her head towards him, looking up, "Are you taunting me?"
"Is it a taunt if it is a reality?" Sasuke shrugged. "Both you and Naruto are by nature very stubborn."
"I am…" Hinata huffed, turning away. "I will ensure that he doesn't turn out to be—"
Sasuke mused as he cracked his knuckles, "He does have a temper too."
Hinata shot back, "That is your influence." She began to move ahead, as she caught Sakura's eyes on them, so she attempted to leave the space of Sasuke.
"I have never been angry with him." Sasuke grabbed her by the arm, pulled her and spun her to face him, she felt her heartbeat drumming in her ears, "And I will never get angry with him—"
"But you were angry at his mother," Hinata gasped. "And you still are. Aren't you?" Her impassive expression irked him, she could see the twitch in his jaw, the ragged breath that he exhaled.
Sasuke's tumultuous thoughts mirrored hers, rampant within him just like hers rattled her, "I am not angry at you."
Hinata could feel a few pairs of eyes on hers, some voices calling out to her, but she chose to let her surrounding blur into a white haze as she complained, "Then why do you look pissed at me…you look at me as if I annoy you." The ribbon of anxiety coiled around her being as she felt the air knocked out of her lungs for a moment.
"Every adult annoys me, Hinata. But not you." Sasuke groaned as he craned his neck up while whispering. "But you piss me off, you confuse me, you drive me mad…I don't know this new Hinata…I don't want to know Naruto's Hinata that you are becoming day by day—"
Hinata winced, frowning, and seethed at Sasuke. Her eyes flashed with indignation, the fury of the unknown agitated her very being, his avoidance was the result of his unfamiliarity with the Hinata that she was becoming as if she was becoming someone worse, which ticked her off. So she burst, she ground her words while gritting her teeth, "Then what do you want? The one who attempted to kill you? Slapped you? Lashed out on you—"
"I just…want…my Hinata." Sasuke's hand slid down from her arm to her elbow and he tugged her closer. She was slammed against his chest as his hand dropped to her forearm, igniting the flames within her that scorched her blood. His hand slipped into hers, his fingers interlaced with hers. "My Hinata who didn't have pity or kindness for me."
Hinata yanked his hold off him, stepping back, sighing as she sneaked a glance around and found Kiba, Sakura and Kakashi peering at her and him with an undeterred focus, "I don't have pity—"
"Even kindness." Sasuke croaked out, "I feel alive whenever you burn me." He snickered lowly, his voice was gruff, "When you are like this…kind and concerned…I can't feel anything. Maybe because that is very unfamiliar for me while the burns, the heat, the anger…is insanely familiar that now I seem to want it to feel something."
Hinata's eyes softened, her brows knitted as she gaped. "I don't understand."
"Neither do I," Sasuke dryly added. His eyes narrowed. His lips parted as if he wanted to express more, but Sakura's embrace on his arm caught his attention, allowing the crack in the thickening and enveloping moment through which Hinata slipped away from the clutches of Sasuke's unfathomable words.
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"I am grateful that you all came here." Hinata looked down, fiddling with the silver bracelet on her wrist. "I wouldn't have blamed if you had chosen not to—"
"What the hell are you saying, Hinata-chan? Why would we miss Haru's first birthday?" Kiba let out a huff, crossing his arms.
Hinata raised her head, gulping the lump in her throat, she confessed, "I have pushed you away. All of you!" Her eyes wandered to the fallen face of Shino and the saddened expression on Kurenai's face, "I withdrew myself from life, from you…I don't know how to find my place back—"
"It is simple." Kiba pulled her in for a quick hug and then pulled away, pressed a kiss on her forehead, which made her shiver, her smile quivered at the way Kiba's warm embrace melted with her, "You are one of us, forever."
Kurenai stepped in, pulling Hinata closer to her, sensing the way her muscles went stiff under Kiba's hold. She patted her back as she assured, "It is okay, Hinata. Everyone grieves differently, we understand."
Hinata felt the waves rush in within her, bathing her in lightness that had been extremely rare for her. Her uncertain stare landed on Shino who kept his cool and composure as he felt the pressing weight under the expectant and pleading gaze of Hinata, "I am glad to see you better, Hinata. Truly."
A softness came over her face, joy gleamed in her moist eyes. "I will try my best. I am trying my best. I promise to pick myself up—"
"We trust you," Kiba nudged her and cheered.
Kurenai squeezed Hinata's hand and urged, "And we are there for you."
Hinata's emotional turmoil raged within her, as always, but the acceptance and assurances from her closest people acted like a balm to her bruised being. Her entire being was festered with aches that ran deep within her bones, undoing that from her core needed time and companionship. And she weaved through the agonies of fate to knit herself with the threads of hope, which her friends were, for her.
"Hinata!" Ino rushed towards Hinata, her party hat drooping to the side of her head and sweat trickled down her forehead. Sakura followed behind her, her red straw hanging from her mouth as she landed beside Ino. Ino huffed, "Haru is being cranky, and so is Inojin but at least Sai is with him. But Chouji and Shikamaru are failing against Haru—"
Hinata remembered leaving Haru under Sasuke's care, she asked, eyes squinted and shoulders squared, "Isn't Sasuke there—"
Sakura sucked some of her drink before she answered, her gaze flitting to the doorway of the living room, "He is with Kakashi sensei…in the kitchen."
Ino folded her arms across her chest, her foot tapping the ground absentmindedly, "Yeah, that dumbass was dealing with Haru well but then Hokage-sama dragged him away—"
Kurenai chuckled, "Sasuke is by far my best student."
"Student?" Hinata turned to her former sensei, her brows drawn together as she asked.
"You don't know?" Kurenai waggled her brows at Hinata, "He used to come to me to know about babies. He learnt everything from basics…however, diaper was one thing he never could achieve with one go." Her sensei's words struck her like lightning. Sasuke's efforts for her son were baffling for her, she was stumped by the way her life was tilted on its axis. The ache of everything unknown surged when the little detail of Sasuke's devotion crackled and thrashed the equilibrium of her life.
She nodded, her breathing stilled in her lungs. She dashed towards the kitchen to find the one man, who was the source of all her perplexities. I confuse him? She wondered. You confuse me, Sasuke Uchiha. Her unnamed agony caged her, that was how Sasuke Uchiha was poured into her life—like a pure anguish, a tamed storm—he had severed her ties with rationality. Why did Sasuke trample on his pride to learn from Kurenai? The tragedy of her lack of comprehension in the matters of Sasuke had taken her by the throat, choking out the air from her, snatching the ground from beneath her feet. Frustration threaded into her thoughts.
Just like Hinata's kindness nipped at Sasuke, the same way Sasuke's devotion drove her to madness. Her emotions were tangled beyond repair. He was restrained yet he was undeniable.
Before she could storm inside her kitchen that loomed ahead, her stride faltered, her instincts sharpening as Sasuke's clipped voice broke the silence.
"Naruto entrusted her and his son to me, Kakashi," Sasuke snapped, his tone brimming with restrained fury. "You don't have any right to question me about it."
Hinata froze, her body pressed against the cold wall near the kitchen's archway. Instinctively, she masked her chakra, her Byakugan activating almost on its own. The veins around her temples pulsed as her sight stretched past the barrier, observing the tense confrontation unfolding in her sanctuary.
Kakashi stood across from Sasuke, his posture calm but his presence commanding. "As Hokage, I have both the right and the responsibility, Sasuke," he countered, his voice low yet firm. His eyes, though weary, held a sharpness that cut through the room. "And more than that, Naruto's letter gave me every reason to be concerned—for Hinata and her son."
"His letter?" Sasuke cut in. His expression flickered with surprise.
Kakashi sighed, rubbing his chin as if deliberating his next words. "You mean to say… you haven't read your letter yet?"
Sasuke's jaw tightened before he let out a dismissive grunt. "I gave it to Hinata. She'll decide when I'm worthy enough to hear whatever her dead lover wanted to say to me." His voice cracked at the edges, betraying a flicker of vulnerability. The words lingered in the air, heavy and raw. Hinata felt the pressing weight festering inside her like a bitter ache.
From her vantage point, Hinata caught Kakashi's reaction. His expression shifted—barely perceptible, but her Byakugan didn't miss the subtle twitch of his jaw or the slight widening of his visible eye. A moment of surprise rippled through the Hokage's usually composed demeanour.
"Sasuke…" Kakashi began, his voice softer now, as though trying to navigate fragile terrain. "I agree you've changed. I'm not here to question that—"
Sasuke interrupted, slamming his palm against the counter with a force that sent a tremor through the kitchen. "Oh shut the hell up, Kakashi." He groaned, "You think I'd go back to being a monster you all always believed me to be—"
"No," Kakashi snapped, his calm façade finally cracking. "You can't heal someone if you haven't healed yourself. You don't let go of your sufferings because that's the only thing you know! How can you help her—"
"I don't need to save her!" Sasuke roared, his voice reverberating through the space. His hands curled into fists at his sides. "She's not some fragile doll, Kakashi! She'll heal herself. I'm just here to protect her—" He paused, his voice faltering. "To protect them. I know I'm not Naruto. I don't have his kindness or his humanity. But I'm trying. Damn it, I'm trying. I don't fucking care if you don't see it—"
Kakashi grumbled, "I see it. I see it, you idiotic child. I've seen enough. But—"
"Then what?!" Sasuke barked, the frustration in his tone unmistakable. Hinata's mind rumbled, her heartbeat thrashing and ringing like an alarm in her ears.
Kakashi grunted. His hands fisted at his sides as he countered, "Hyuga compound incident. Your behaviour with her at Ino's house—"
Sasuke lurched forward, grabbed his ex-sensei by his collar and yanked him closer. His words rained like a storm on Kakashi, his voice penetrated his soul, and even Hinata shivered. "It has been months. I would never hurt her, Kakashi. I'd never hurt Haru. What the fuck is wrong with you—"
Kakashi's glare darkened, his voice hoarse as he snapped, "Sakura told me you brought Hinata to the hospital, there were marks on her throat, what was that—"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed in confusion. His frown deepened. Hinata herself had to bite back the urge to sob as her fingers brushed against her throat, reminiscing the horrifying night which she lived through his Genjutsu, and the terrifying grip his desperate self had on her as if he clung to her for life.
Sasuke's eyes widened as along with Hinata, he remembered the memory that resurfaced for him too, "Fuck you, Kakashi." He lowered his head, his hands trembling as he pulled them away from Kakashi's collar.
Kakashi's look softened, and he stepped closer to him, "Sasuke—"
Sasuke defended, his voice broke, "I…I didn't—" Sasuke's silence was answer enough. His shoulders sagged, his defenses crumbling under the weight of guilt, Hinata could gauge the turmoil hitting him.
"I have lived with you, Sasuke. I know how it had happened. She probably found you when you had a nightmare, right?" Kakashi grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, and squeezed it, as if weaving a new thread of support within him. Hinata's head pounded, and her chest tightened. "That's why I'm worried about her safety, you wouldn't do that willingly, Sasuke but Haru is a child, and Hinata is recovering…what if something unfortunate happens—"
Sasuke's head snapped up, his voice breaking as he rasped, "I would die before I hurt them! You know that!" Sasuke yanked his hand off his shoulder and turned away, grabbing a glass of water, and gulping it down in one go.
Kakashi offered, "There are therapy sessions available for shinobi, especially the ones who had lost so much in the war. Take my advice, I'd be at ease. For Naruto and you, both." His mask hid the frowning lips and the worry etched onto his entire face, but Hinata's eyes could see everything with clarity. She could feel the rattled chakra pulse in Kakashi, that throbbed in his bones. She could feel the rising heat in Sasuke's blood that filled his nerves with fury and turmoil beyond repair.
Sasuke cursed under his breath, the tenseness simmered within Hinata and she felt her senses kicking in. Sasuke grumbled to Kakashi, "I don't need it."
Kakashi raked his hand in his hair as he concluded, his voice curt but carrying the underlying concern that Hinata was sure Sasuke didn't appreciate. "You do." His voice was firm.
Sasuke shot back, his hurt pulsed beneath the surface and Hinata's Byakugan wasn't the one who caught the roiling pressure poisoning his soul, "Fine. I need it, but I don't want it. Now leave me—"
The storm between them had no easy resolution, but even amidst the turmoil, she saw the glimpses of a boy who was trying, for her and for her son. Despite his brokenness. Despite her fragility.
The voices in the kitchen quieted momentarily when she cleared her throat, revealing herself at the doorway with eyes downcast and hands wringing each other, but the storm of emotions Sasuke and Kakashi had unleashed lingered in the air like a tempest threatening to erupt again. Both men turned to her, their tension spilling into the room like smoke, curling into every corner.
"Sasuke," she called, her voice softer than intended but steady nonetheless. "Haru… he's stirring," she said, glancing toward the living room where the baby's playpen was set up. "Could you check on him?" Her gaze lingered on him for a moment longer than necessary, a silent plea hidden in her lilac eyes.
Sasuke's jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. He nodded stiffly and brushed past Kakashi without another word. His presence was like a stormcloud leaving the room, but the thunder he left behind still rumbled faintly in the air.
The moment he was gone, Hinata turned to Kakashi, who regarded her with a mixture of concern and curiosity about either reassurance or confirmation of his worst fears. Kakashi's eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. "I only meant to—"
"To protect me?" she interrupted, her voice firm but not unkind. "I know you care about Naruto's family, and I appreciate that. But Sasuke isn't hurting me."
The Hokage remained silent for a moment, his hand lifting to rub the back of his neck. "I don't doubt his intentions, Hinata. But his struggles…" He paused, sighing deeply. "They worry me. For both of you."
Hinata searched within the cracks to find the conviction she wanted to convey. She took a shaky breath, tipping her chin up and squaring her shoulders to show a sense of power over herself. "I do not appreciate anyone else questioning him…other than me." Kakashi raised his eyebrow, his amazement sparked for a moment before he hid his befuddlement like a professional. "Forgive me for my rudeness, but I get to decide when someone hurts me."
Kakashi snickered, eliciting a shocked gasp from Hinata. "I never thought that the Hinata who didn't want Sasuke to even visit Naruto's grave would—"
With Hinata's interjection, the tension in the air dissipated, "I am trying too, sensei. Just like he is."
Kakashi moved towards her, and towered over hers, the shade of his protection felt unfamiliar, she preferred the dark and suffocating heat of someone else rather than her Hokage's safety. "If you ever need me, whether it is regarding Sasuke or anything else—"
"I am grateful to have you all around, Hokage-sama." Hinata stood amidst her fate's wreckage, yet remained firmly rooted. "But he has only you. I have others. So…If you won't have faith in him—"
"I don't think he only has me, Hinata." Kakashi patted Hinata's head, his smile caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle. "It is good to see that he has you. And Haru." She inclined her head downwards as Kakashi moved past her. His words were heavy as they absorbed into her, the determination that was weaving through her moment by moment vanished in the air, and the mere idea of her being there for Sasuke was ridiculous. She was not trying to be anything or anyone to Sasuke, her shoulders sagged as she stumbled, holding the edge of the counter to steady her.
With a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and gathered herself, reined in her thoughts. The tempest within her was threatening to erupt like molten lava, but she shook her head, forcing herself to not drown in the burning afflictions. She turned around and dashed towards the living room, it was her son's special day, and she swore to not let the tears stain her cheeks that day.
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A/N: FAVS AND REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!
Say Happy birthday to our Haru! He turned 1!
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