A/N 1 - hey guys! It's the final chapter of sophomore year. Junior year is next!
A/N 2 - I don't own the rights to the songs used in this chapter - I Dreamed a Dream & No One Is Alone. They belong to their rightful owners.
A/N 3 - the scene performed is from a play called Men of Steel. I was in that play in college. I played a Norwegian Ninja, Mommy & Melinda.
CHAPTER EIGHT
(chapter title - I Dreamed A Dream)
Gretchen played with Cassandra, watching her little one try and stand.
"You've got this, sweet girl" Gretchen said.
Barney watched from the doorway, admiring both of his girls.
Once Cassandra was asleep, Barney and Gretchen stood in the doorway of their bedroom, kissing each other.
Barney picked Gretchen up and laid her on the bed, kissing her as he undressed the two of them.
Gretchen moaned as she felt Barney inside her, closing her eyes as he kissed her passionately.
Barney continued kissing Gretchen, making his way down her body. He looked into her eyes as he spread her legs, "I'm gonna try this, okay?"
"Okay" Gretchen said, closing her eyes and gasped as she felt him kiss between her legs. She curled her toes and panted as she felt him kiss her.
"I'll be right back" Barney said, going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his mouth out before going back to their bedroom, "where was I?"
"Right here" Gretchen said, kissing him passionately.
Barney moaned as he kissed her, reentering her as his hands roamed her body, gently squeezing her breasts.
"Ow - Barney - you're on my hair!" Gretchen hissed as they switched positions.
"Sry" Barney said, moving his elbow off Gretchen's hair before kissing her passionately, getting on top of her.
As the two of them continued, thunder rumbled outside and lightning flashed.
"Spring rainstorm" Barney said, nuzzling Gretchen's neck as he spooned her after their love making session.
"Mm" Gretchen said, closing her eyes.
"WWWWAAAAHHHHH!" Cassandra cried as a loud crash of thunder sounded.
"I got her" Gretchen said, putting on her robe and went to the nursery. She brought Cassandra back to the bedroom and nursed her, feeling Barney's eyes on her.
Barney smiled as he watched the two of them. He burped Cassandra after she was done nursing while Gretchen made notes in her nursing journal. He walked Cassandra back to the nursery and put her in her crib, "night precious" he kissed her forehead and walked back to the bedroom, fully nude.
Gretchen looked up, still in her robe, "hey hot stuff."
"Hey mama" Barney said, tugging Gretchen's robe off and threw it to the floor. He got on top of her and entered her, kissing her neck and shoulders, his hands on her breasts, gently squeezing them.
Gretchen moaned and whimpered, wrapping her arms and legs around his torso, bringing him closer to her.
By the time they were done, it was nearly midnight.
The next day at school, Gretchen stayed afterwards to audition for the spring play - Men of Steel.
A few days later, the cast list was posted and Gretchen scanned the list to see what part she got. Turned out, she had three - Mommy, Melinda and a Norwegian Ninja.
That afternoon, was the first ever table read for the play. Gretchen poured her heart and soul into the characters of Mommy and Melinda.
"We will have a fight choreographer coming when we do the fight scenes" the director said.
The cast nodded and left the rehearsal room, going to the student parking lot.
Gretchen was almost there when she felt like she needed to go to the bathroom. She sprinted back inside and found the nearest girls' restroom. She locked herself in a stall and went to the bathroom. When she was done, she went to flush when she saw a lot of blood in the bowl.
I'm not on my period - I had that already. What could that be from? Gretchen thought to herself as she flushed and washed her hands. Barney and I are gonna have another kid when Cassandra is old enough. Oh no - did I have my first miscarriage?
Gretchen exited the school and smiled a bit at seeing Barney. She got in the front seat and put on her seat belt with trembling hands, her face ashen.
"Gretch, you okay?" Barney asked his beloved fiancee.
"I don't know - I think I had a miscarriage" Gretchen said, her voice shaking.
"Wanna talk about it?" Barney asked as he drove them home.
"What's there to talk about? After rehearsal, I felt like I needed to pee. Went to the bathroom and went to flush when I saw blood in the bowl - a lot of it. I already had my period, so I thought what else it could be. I think I had my first miscarriage" Gretchen said, feeling like crying.
Barney held her hand at a red light, "baby, I'm so sorry."
Gretchen looked out the window, shrugging. She then looked around, "speaking of babies, where's Cassandra?"
"Your mom's babysitting" Barney said, kissing her hand.
Gretchen nodded and rested her head on the window.
Barney turned on the Broadway station, smiling at the current song.
"I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame" Fantine sang.
"One of my dream roles" Gretchen said as she listened to Fantine sing.
Barney smiled, "you would be perfect as Fantine. You've already nailed Gretchen and Belle, along with the parts you played in both plays."
"You really think so?" Gretchen asked.
Barney nodded, "I know so" he kissed her forehead after pulling into the driveway and turned off the ignition. He looked into her eyes, "you know I love you, right?"
Gretchen nodded, "now and forever."
"That's right" Barney said, helping Gretchen out of the car, "do you mind if I shower with you?"
"That'd be okay" Gretchen said as the two of them entered the house.
After saying hello to Cassandra and Hannah, Barney and Gretchen grabbed their pajamas and headed for the bathroom.
Barney washed Gretchen's body as she washed her hair, gently kissing her skin.
"I'm getting a haircut tomorrow" Gretchen said, "my hair is too long, like Rapunzel's."
"Only you don't have 70 feet of hair" Barney teased, kissing her temple.
"Yeah. How did she wash her hair anyway?" Gretchen asked.
"I have no idea" Barney said, turning Gretchen around so he could kiss her tenderly, then rested his chin on her head, letting the water flow over them.
The following day at school, Gretchen and Barney went to health class with Cassandra.
Mr. Jefferson - the health teacher - looked at Gretchen, "Ms. Wallace, come up here, please."
"Okay" Gretchen said, going to the front of the class and stood facing them.
Mr. Jefferson looked at the class, "now that Ms. Wallace has had her baby, what differences do you notice with her body?"
Gretchen rolled her eyes when Mr. Jefferson's back was turned.
Barney raised his hand.
"Yes, Mr. Stinson?" Mr. Jefferson asked.
"Her boobs are smaller and she's lost almost all of her baby weight" Barney said, smiling supportively at Gretchen.
"Correct. Anything else?" Mr. Jefferson asked the class.
Chandler raised his hand.
"Yes, Mr. Bing?" Mr. Jefferson said.
"Her skin is smooth - no sign of acne" Chandler said.
"Correct" Mr. Jefferson said, turning to Gretchen, "please bring your baby up here."
Gretchen sighed and got Cassandra out of her carseat and held her.
"How old is your baby?" Mr. Jefferson asked.
"She's five months" Gretchen answered.
"How much should a normal five month old baby weigh?" Mr. Jefferson asked the class.
Rachel raised her hand.
"Yes, Ms. Green?" Mr. Jefferson asked.
"She should weigh anywhere between twelve and eighteen pounds" Rachel said.
Mr. Jefferson nodded and turned to Gretchen, "how much does she weigh?"
"At our last doctor's appointment, Cassandra weighed twelve pounds" Gretchen said, adjusting Cassandra's positioning.
Mr. Jefferson let Gretchen sit at her desk after asking her some embarrassing questions.
Finally the bell rang and everyone left the classroom.
"I hate Health class" Gretchen said as she and Barney headed to choir.
"I know" Barney said, holding Gretchen's free hand.
The two of them entered Mr. English's choir classroom.
Mr. English sat at the piano and smiled at Gretchen and Barney, "hello you two" he saw Cassandra, "hello sweet girl."
Cassandra looked up from chewing on her foot and cooed curiously.
Gretchen smiled as she took her seat in the Alto section while Barney took his seat in the Tenor section.
Mr. English smiled at and greeted the students as the rest of them filed in, "okay, class. Let's do some warm ups then go over the songs we're doing for the choir concert. We'll also have our female solo auditions during class, so whoever is interested, line up in front of the class after warm ups."
The class did warm-ups before 4 girls, Gretchen included, went to the front of the class for the solo in the first song the choir was singing - No One Is Alone from Into the Woods.
"Mother cannot guide you
Now you're on your own
Only me beside you
Still, you're not alone
No one is alone, truly
No one is alone" each of the soloists - two sopranos and two altos - sang, each taking turns.
Everyone applauded when Gretchen was done singing.
"And the soloist for No One Is Alone is - Gretchen!" Mr. English said, hugging Gretchen.
"Thanks" Gretchen said, hugging back and went to sit with her fellow Altos.
"Now that's out of the way, I have an announcement" Mr. English said, "next year we have been selected to perform in Michigan at the Night at the Arts Festival in East Lansing. We will be taking a bus, but you guys will need to raise money for the choir shirts we're going to wear, along with hotel cost. You'll be selling assorted popcorn. Sell to your friends, family, neighbors, whoever. The Festival is March 22 through the 24" he looked at Gretchen and Barney, "unfortunately, Cassandra isn't allowed to come. I'm sorry, guys."
Gretchen frowned and looked at her baby, who was fast asleep in her carrier.
Everyone looked at each other and chatted happily.
Mr. English raised his hand for silence.
"Whoever sells the most gets to choose which two songs we're singing out of the following - High Hopes, I2I, Seasons of Love, He Lives In You, Do You Hear The People Sing, Tomorrow and One Short Day" Mr. English said.
After the announcement was made, the class calmed themselves and started working on the songs for the upcoming choir concert - No One Is Alone from Into the Woods, Soul of a Man from Kinky Boots and Ave Maria.
When school was out, Gretchen went to rehearsal for the play.
Barney and Cassandra decided to stay and hang out in the theater room.
The theater teacher - Ms. David - allowed Barney to come to rehearsal.
"Our Daddy is sick, so would you mind filling in?" Ms. David asked, "I'll keep an eye on Cassandra."
"Um sure" Barney said, "where are we?"
"We're on Part One, Scene III, the bottom of page 48" Ms. David said, handing Barney a script, "there is a lot of strong language. Is that okay?"
Barney nodded and followed along in the script, watching the scene in front of him.
There were three actors on stage - a blond boy, a dark-skinned boy and Joey. Barney could see Gretchen off-stage, waiting for her cue to enter.
The dark-skinned boy walked over to Joey.
"I gotta tell ya, kid, that was something else. That was really —- wow. That was like some Junior High School fantasy shit. The guys — they talk about it — they brag. You know —- locker room shit. But, fuck hitting you —- just kicking your ass was —- I like that you scream — that's a nice touch —- classy — I know it's an act an' all —- but, fuck, I really appreciate it. It's good for the ego, you know. Ain't no fun beating - um, line" the guy said, looking to Ms. David.
"Your line is - the shit-" Barney said.
"Thanks" the actor said, turning back to Joey, "beating the shit out of a motherfucker and have them just stand there.
I can't believe you exist, man —- I don't believe in God in all his greatness decided to make something like you. Have you always been like this or did you come from outer space or somethin'?" The actor said, poking Joey once in a while.
Joey didn't react.
"Alright then. I will see you later, man. I will fucking see you later. Thanks for a great night. A great fuckin' night" the actor playing Joe Dickens said, starting to walk off before turning around at Joey's voice.
"This is not who I always was" Joey said.
"Baby" Gretchen said from off-stage.
"I once was much smaller" Joey said.
Everyone exited the scene, except Joey. He sat on the floor playing with makeup and a stuffed dog. He was in one of Gretchen's dresses.
Gretchen entered, "baby, why are you dressed like that?"
"I look pretty, Mommy. Don't I? Don't I look pretty?" Joey asked, smiling at Gretchen as she knelt beside him.
"Bryant, take that off" Gretchen said in a firm, but kind voice.
"But, Mommy, I'm dressed like you" Joey said.
"You know what'll happen if your daddy sees this" Gretchen said, uneasiness in her voice.
"He won't, Mommy. He won't. I'm pretty though, ain't I? Ain't I pretty?" Joey asked.
Gretchen examined her boy quietly.
"Yes, you are, darlin'. You're a very pretty girl" Gretchen said, smiling.
"Can I try make-up? I wanna wear make-up, Mommy" Joey said, pleading with Gretchen.
Gretchen raised an eyebrow, "you wanna wear what?"
"I want to wear purple make-up around my eyes like you" Joey said, pointing to Gretchen's eyes, "makes you look like a big raccoon."
"Honey, you don't want that" Gretchen said in a kind voice.
"But I do. I wanna be just like you" Joey said.
"No, Bryant" Gretchen said in a firm voice.
"But-" Joey said.
"Bryant, NO" Gretchen said.
"I'm sorry, Mommy" Joey said.
Gretchen held Joey on her lap, "Bryant, do you know what hurt is?"
"No, Mommy" Joey said.
"It's like when your Daddy yells at you. You know that feeling, right? Deep inside. What's it feel inside?" Gretchen asked.
Barney felt tears in his eyes as he watched the scene from the wings, along with the actor that played Joe Dickens, who's name was Alex and was actually a really nice guy.
"Gretchen's really good" Alex whispered to Barney.
Barney nodded, smiling a tiny bit, not taking his eyes off his fiancee.
"Not good" Joey said.
"Well, imagine that, but on top of your skin. That's hurt. That's where the purple comes from" Gretchen said, cradling Joey in her arms.
"I don't like hurt" Joey said.
"Well, you never have to worry about that. God made you special, honey" Gretchen said, stroking Joey's hair.
"Like you?" Joey asked.
"Not just like me. You and me are special in different ways" Gretchen said.
"But I wanna be like you, Mommy. I wanna be strong" Joey said.
"You are baby" Gretchen said, putting a hand on Joey's chest, "in here, you are."
"Why do you let Daddy make you hurt?" Joey asked.
"Cause, Bryant, Mommy doesn't want to do something bad" Gretchen said.
Gretchen placed her hand on Joey's chest and kissed his forehead. The lights dimmed and Gretchen walked off stage as Joey, Alex and some other actors took to the stage.
Barney kissed Gretchen's hand, "you're doing really good so far" he whispered.
"Thanks" Gretchen whispered, putting her hair into a bun.
"Fuck you, bitch! You wanna spend my dough? You wanna spend my hard earned cash on fuckin' clothes? Fuckin' jewelry? You wanna know why I ain't buying you shit?" Alex asked Joey in character as Joe Dickens.
"Yo, man, let me get a turn" the actor playing Reynolds said.
"Just one more" Alex said, kicking Joey hard in the gut, "and that is for having your mother spend Christmas at our house!"
Alex picked up and held Joey for the other actors to hit.
"Get you some of this, Reynolds" Alex said.
"I got those copies you asked for" the actor playing Reynolds said, kicking Joey in the crotch, "hey, why don't you fuckin' walk your own goddamn fat ass down to the copy center, huh? You big sloppy sack of shit?"
"Yeah, Bobby, I'm fuckin' your wife. You got a problem with that? I like fucking — NO —- I love fucking her. But you… you I just wanna fuck up!" Alex said after the actor playing Reynolds tagged him back in. He then pounded on Joey.
After a while, Alex tagged the actor playing Reynolds back in.
"Fuck you, mom!" Alex said.
"Fuck you, dad!" The actor playing Reynolds said.
"Fuck you baby Jesus!" Alex said.
Joey laid on the floor, crying.
The men pulled money from their wallets and dropped it on Joey.
As they left, Joey immediately stopped crying and picked up his day's earnings.
The scene shifted to Joey sitting on the floor playing with his toys.
Gretchen looked at Barney, "don't get too abusive with me, please" she kissed his cheek.
"I won't, but remember, it's just acting" Barney whispered, kissing Gretchen's cheek back.
Gretchen walked on the stage, walking over to Joey, "Bryant, put your toys away and clean up before—"
Barney walked onto the stage, disgust in his eyes as he saw Joey with makeup on, "what's this? What's that he's wearing?"
"We were just playing dress up" Gretchen said.
"Does he know that Mommy's things are off limits?" Barney asked in a gruff voice.
"I don't see the harm - he's just playing" Gretchen said.
"Bryant, take that shit off!" Barney said angrily.
"But I like it" Joey said.
"Take it off, now, boy!" Barney said.
"Yes, sir" Joey said, taking off the makeup.
"Don't get hostile. He don't know better" Gretchen said, flinching as Barney got in her face.
"I'm trying to take care of both of you. Do you understand that?" Barney asked, gripping her arm tightly.
"Yes, dear" Gretchen said meekly.
"You need to teach him. He needs to understand about right and wrong. He needs to know the proper way to act in civilized society. And he needs to know that the shit he gots on right now has no place in it" Barney said, squeezing Gretchen's upper arm tightly. He then let go and watched her go to Joey.
"Come here, baby. Let me help you take that off" Gretchen said in a shaky voice.
"You're gonna be that boy's undoin'" Barney said, watching Gretchen and Joey.
"Daddy's mad. Is he gonna make you purple again?" Joey asked, sitting still as Gretchen took his makeup off.
"What are you talking about Bryant? What does Daddy make Mommy?" Barney asked in a stern voice.
"Purple. Purple make-up on her eyes. Make her looks like a raccoon. A cute little raccoon" Joey said, smiling up at Gretchen.
"Did you tell him this?" Barney asked Gretchen.
"I messed up, okay?" Gretchen admitted.
"Come here, woman" Barney said in a commanding voice.
"I'm sorry" Gretchen said, feeling real tears in her eyes.
"Don't make me ask you again" Barney said.
Gretchen slowly walked over to Barney.
"It's been a long time since you've needed one of these. You need a little remindin'" Barney said.
"No, please!" Gretchen pleaded.
"And stop! That was perfect!" Ms. David said, smiling, "Barney, would you mind sitting in on some rehearsals?"
"Uh sure" Barney said as he and Gretchen exited the stage and went to where their things were. He touched her shoulder, "hey, you okay?"
Gretchen nodded, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. She was shaking.
"Great job you guys" Joey said as he exited the classroom once rehearsal was over.
"Shh, it's okay" Barney soothed his fiancee.
The three of them were now home, Cassandra asleep in her nursery while Barney and Gretchen sat on the bed in their room. Barney held Gretchen on his lap, his arms wrapped around her, his head on her left shoulder.
Gretchen sobbed into Barney's shirt.
Hannah came downstairs, "what happened?" She asked softly.
"Rehearsal was rough" Barney said, "I stepped in for the actor playing Daddy, since he was sick. I think the scene we did triggered something in her."
Hannah nodded and sat on Gretchen's desk chair, "honey, is it okay if I tell him about Felix?"
Gretchen nodded, still cuddled into Barney.
"Who was Felix?" Barney asked.
"He was her ex. He started out sweet enough - treating Gretchen like a queen. One summer, he just snapped and started mistreating Gretchen. I told his parents about it, but they didn't believe me.
To get away from him, I switched hospitals and we moved here" Hannah said, "I don't know what happened to Felix - his mom worked with me at the old hospital I worked at. We don't keep in touch."
Barney frowned, "that's awful. How old was she when all this happened?"
"Middle school - eighth grade" Hannah said.
Gretchen sniffled.
"I'll make her some tea. Do you want anything?" Hannah asked.
Barney shook his head, "would you mind watching Cassandra while Gretchen and I just snuggle and watch a movie?"
"Not at all" Hannah said, heading upstairs to make Gretchen some tea.
Barney looked into Gretchen's face, "I'm here, baby and I won't let anyone hurt you. You're fine."
Gretchen smiled a bit, "I love you" she said hoarsely.
"I know. I love you too" Barney said, resting his forehead on hers, "your mom's gonna watch Cassandra while you and I just relax. For the first time in a while, we don't have homework."
Gretchen smiled a bit, cuddled into Barney.
Hannah gave Gretchen the tea cup and got the baby monitor, "text or call me if you need anything."
"We will" Barney and Gretchen said in unison.
"Are you okay if we don't have sex? I just wanna watch The Road to El Dorado" Gretchen said.
"Of course" Barney said, turning her TV onto Netflix and found the movie, "wanna try Squid Games at some point? Marshall says it's pretty good."
"Absolutely not" Gretchen said.
As they watched the movie, Barney spooned Gretchen, his arms wrapped around her gently.
Gretchen was relaxed as they watched the movie.
"Is this okay?" Barney asked, rubbing his hands up and down Gretchen's arms.
"Yes" Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off the screen.
After the movie, Gretchen and Barney went to take a shower together.
Barney pressed Gretchen against the shower wall as he kissed her neck and shoulders gently.
Gretchen whimpered, feeling his hands roam her body.
Once the two of them were finished with their shower and went to bed, falling asleep instantly in each other's arms.
Two months later
Everyone filed into the auditorium for the production of Men of Steel by Qui Nguyen.
Gretchen got into her first costume - a Norwegian Ninja. She and the other cast mates said their favorite super hero quotes.
Once everyone was in costume, they did a few energy passes before going to the bathroom and getting some water.
"Two minutes to curtain" Ms. David said.
"Thank you two" the cast whispered as everyone got into position for the first act.
Barney squeezed Gretchen's shoulder, "you've got this. Break a leg" he had taken over for the guy that originally was supposed to play Daddy. The actor - Brett - had all sorts of medical issues and had to drop out. Barney stepped up and loved being in scenes with Gretchen.
The first act went extremely well and now it was intermission.
Everyone changed into their costumes for Act 2, chatting quietly to each other.
"You guys are doing great!" Gretchen told the cast as she changed into a pink dress, black leggings, black flats and a blond wig for Melinda. She put on a green bathrobe and slippers for Mommy, making sure her wig was on the prop table.
"You are too" everyone whispered back to Gretchen.
Before everyone knew it, it was time to take their bows. Everyone struck a super hero pose as the Avengers theme played.
The audience was on their feet as the cast took a final bow together, then went to change into their street clothes.
Gretchen and Barney walked out together and went to find their families, hand in hand.
Once Gretchen and Barney got home, they put Cassandra to bed, then went to bed together, extremely proud of their partner and all the hard work they put into the play.