-July 30th,
2014-
It was a miserably hot day in Lavryn Town, and Bones was worried that if something didn't change, he'd succumb to heatstroke. The sun was blazing, the summer season in full swing now. The heat was enough to make the horizon line wobble precariously in his vision. Or, it would be if he could see it, anyway; he was currently lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, limbs spread out like a starfish, with a refreshing glass of iced tea in easy reach next to him.
He figured that the lower down he was, the less hot it'd be.
It wasn't a plan that was working out particularly well for him so far.
He let out a weak groan, feebly reaching for another sip of tea.
He finished it off in a few swallows. There was nothing left in the glass now except for melting ice. He let out a big sigh.
The dog stood up, fur sticky with the heat, and stumbled his way into his kitchen. "Augh, my back…" He whined to himself miserably. "Man, no wonder people were always telling me not to lay on the floor… Geez, how old am I getting if I can't even lie on my own floor anymore?"
He opened up the freezer, filling his cup with more ice and mumbling under his breath all-the-while.
He poured more tea into his glass, taking a peek out of the window. The sky burned a bright blue above him. He frowned at it.
Normally, he loved sunny days like this, but even he could only take so much. It was just way too hot to even think about doing anything fun. Heck, he didn't even want to go swimming anymore. As delightful as it usually was, he'd been doing it for the past three days, and he was getting seriously tired of all of the salt in his fur…
He sighed again. What had his life come to? He was dealing with old man back pains, and now the thought of playing on the beach wasn't appealing to him? He thought the day would never come, and yet, here he was, acting like the exact kind of grouchy old man his child self would've done anything to avoid becoming, nevermind that he was only in his mid twenties. The thought depressed him more than he wanted to admit.
It was then, in that moment, that he noticed something.
The little red flag of his mailbox was up.
He paused, before breaking into a wide grin.
Of course! That'd take his mind off of how hot it was and how old he was suddenly feeling for at least fifteen seconds!
He skipped up to the front door with as much enthusiasm as he could muster— which, by his usual standards, was shockingly little— and opened up the door.
Immediately, he regretted it, a blast of heat washing over him like a tidal wave.
He cried out, as if the weather had physically punched him. "Augh! Why!"
The weather, obviously, didn't answer him.
"You suck, sky!" He complained anyway, shaking his fist at it. He stalked out of the house, grabbing his mail from the mailbox and slinking back to his home's threshold. He paused for just a minute. "... Sorry, sky. That was mean."
The sky did not answer. A cicada called out in the distance.
The door shut solidly behind him.
He sighed, leaning against the wood and struggling to open up the letter with one paw. The other held his iced tea closer to his face so he could sip at it through his silly straw as he read.
As he did, he blinked, greater awareness coming to him through the confused daze of the heat. His expression shifted from tired curiosity to acute interest.
July 30th 2014
To Our Esteemed Guests,
Bloodshed! Death! War!
All that and more, down at Natallia's Super Awesome Fun House! Admission fee is not holding me responsible for damages to property or person! Be there at noon sharp, and stay while supplies last!
Make sure not to bring anything important! Make sure not to wear anything important! It'll all be DESTROYED!
Hope to see you there! :D
-Love, Natallia Thompson 3
He blinked owlishly. Slowly, a huge smile spread across his face.
Well. That wasn't what he was expecting. It was better.
He eagerly rushed to his bedroom.
He wasn't sure what in the world Natallia had in store for him, but whatever it was, he was into it. After all, if his best friend was running it, it was sure to be a good time.
He honestly wasn't expecting much when he saw he had mail, let alone an invitation to what seemed to be some sort of group activity. But he was more than happy to be mistaken.
He was expecting it to be from Natallia, though, so he wasn't totally caught off guard. He didn't know anyone who sent as much mail as she did. He was pretty sure she was half of the reason the Lavryn Post Office was still in business. She was easily responsible for most of his mail, to the point where he was actually surprised whenever he got something that wasn't from her, even if it was as mundane as monthly bills. She'd send a letter almost every day.
Naturally, he treasured every one. It always brightened his day whenever Natallia wrote to him.
She'd been a lot more restrained at first, he remembered as he idly dug through his dresser for an old shirt he wouldn't mind destroying in whatever way his playful pal deemed fit. It was hard to recall that time now, even though it was only a couple of years ago. She used to write to him so carefully, in long paragraphs and careful pen strokes, and only about things of importance. But when he told her how much he looked forward to her letters, she'd hesitantly (and how strange that was; describing Natallia of all people as being hesitant in any way—) started sending more. He embraced it with enthusiasm, never failing to write back. When it became clear about four months into their friendship that no matter how many letters she'd send, he'd still fail to be anything but appreciative, she'd really upped her game. Eventually, she stopped holding back entirely.
Bones had been getting letters near-daily ever since.
But nowadays, she'd usually leave them at a sentence or two. She'd given up on being careful and eloquent a long time ago. Now, she wrote with unrestrained eagerness, brief and quick and wild. She'd tell him about everything and anything, and yet, would somehow never manage to repeat the same stories she told him in person. Each letter was full of something she hadn't said before. Even if she couldn't think of anything interesting to say, she'd scribble down something or other, just for the sake of sending him something.
She'd send him a few encouraging words, or a joke, or tell him about something weird she saw. Maybe she'd draw him a picture, or make up the most ridiculous gossip about Tom Nook he'd ever heard. Sometimes she'd even send pickup lines, oddly enough. He wasn't sure what the deal with those were, but she seemed to make them up herself, and they were predictably ridiculous as a result. He didn't always understand her sense of humor, but that didn't change how hard he laughed at her jokes— if anything, her nonsense was usually funnier when he didn't fully grasp it.
(He'd never forget his personal favorite pick up line of hers, a piece of poetry he'd later discovered she'd written sometime around 1 AM while half-dead on her feet— "Hey girl, are you a bone? Because I want to chew you. Nom nom! ;3", and signed, "the motherfucking MUFFIN MAN".)
(It still made him break out into baffled laughter whenever he thought about it.)
Oftentimes, she'd send along flowers or small gifts with the letters. One of her favorite games was finding the most ridiculous possible items to send in the mail, and making up downright horrible puns to pair with them. The secondhand refrigerator— or, the "refriendgerator", as she'd so cleverly dubbed it— was still in the lead, so far.
He smiled to himself.
Bones was so glad she'd stopped being so careful around him— he really couldn't have asked for a better best friend.
Still, because of those tendencies, he was always caught off guard whenever she wrote him more than a sentence or two. A note containing relevant information was nigh unheard of nowadays. They saw each other even more often than she wrote to him, after all; if anything important was going on, he'd usually already know about it long before the mail arrived, no matter how fast the Lavryn Post Office was. Not to mention that if it was urgent, she could just text him.
It had gotten him out of the habit of checking his mail as soon as he got it, he supposed. Huh. He should probably work on that…
He stole a glance at his cuckoo clock, wincing when he saw it was already fifteen minutes past noon. He scrambled to get dressed, in the clothes he'd decided he didn't mind putting through the shredder. He wasn't sure what it was, exactly, that Natallia had planned, but he knew well enough at this point to know that if she said that his stuff would be getting destroyed, she absolutely meant it.
He wound up in an oversized gray T-Shirt he'd won in a raffle at Nook's store and a pair of garishly neon green shorts that he had no recollection of buying.
He stumbled out of the house, barely exclaiming at the heat, and made his way to Natallia's. He could hardly feel the all-enveloping warmth anymore, too excited to see what mischief his friend had planned. He guessed it really wasn't too hot to have fun after all!
But when he made it to Natallia's front yard, it was dead silent. Something about it felt… Wrong, almost. It slowed his enthusiasm, enough to stall him a good few yards away from her front door.
There were no crying cicadas. No buzzing insects. No birds. Even the babbling river seemed almost muted. He crept forward a few steps, confused by the silence.
He took a step forward, and something squelched beneath him. He picked up his foot, clad in worn sandals, to see something stuck to the bottom. A colorful, damp scrap of rubber. He wasn't sure where, exactly, it came from. He frowned at it.
He looked up, noticing more and more things that were off about the scene the more he looked. There were a few bright plastic buckets around, interspersed evenly in a strange circle. The one in the center of the odd setup was bigger than the others, and colored a deep blood red, unlike the cheery colors of the others. It looked as though it'd been spray painted. More colorful scraps littered the ground. A couple of big plastic dinosaur cutouts were placed to watch over the area nearby, oddly enough. Their cartoonish eyes were crossed out.
He walked forward, feeling thoroughly unnerved. There was nothing disturbing, exactly, about the situation, but it was strange enough to set him on edge. The longer he walked forward, the damper that the ground grew under his feet.
He made his way towards one of the buckets, cautious. He wanted to know what, if anything, was inside.
"... Hello?" He called as he walked, hoping to hear literally anything in answer. Silence rang out, somehow harsher than before. "... Natal—"
Suddenly, he was grabbed. He yelped, only for the noise to be muffled by someone hastily covering his mouth. He was forcibly yanked behind one of the plastic dinosaurs.
Not a second after he was behind it, he heard the stark slap of something soft and wet against plastic, followed by a loud splash. He was forced down by his assailant, as a barrage of the same noise followed. The cutout rattled with each strike. Slap, splash, slap, splash, slap, splash, severe and surprisingly loud against the plastic dinosaur.
The grip on his shoulder and over his mouth tightened. He shuddered, glancing towards the person beside him, who'd yanked him back here.
He blinked at Purrl, wearing a garishly glittery tank top and looking distinctly haunted.
His shoulders relaxed, and his brow furrowed. He tried to say something, only to be vehemently shushed, the sound bordering into a wild hiss. He wisely decided not to try and speak again.
Silence fell. Nothing but the distant rumble of the river remained. There was no faraway chatter, or laughter, or anything. Just dead, dangerous, quiet. Purrl was breathing heavily beside him, eyes wide.
Finally, she spared him a glance, and stopped. She removed her paw from over his mouth.
"Purrl!" He whispered harshly, something about the quiet imploring him not to speak too loudly. "What the heck!"
At the same time, she said, "What the hell are you wearing."
"Wha— Huh?" The corners of his mouth twitched down. "That's— Nevermind that, what's happening?"
"No, no, no, dear, this is far more important," Purrl said with an exuberant wave of the hand. "What in the world are those."
Following her gaze, he stared down at his shorts, confused. "What, these? Do you like them?"
"Like them?" Purrl sneered. "Darling, those are a crime. They look like they were pulled out of a toxic waste factory that was shut down in the 70s after dozens of blindness-related workplace safety lawsuits. Seriously, they're impressively eye-searing. Absolutely atrocious."
"What, for real?" He pouted. "This coming from the one in red leopard print pants?"
Purrl let out a sharp gasp, punching his shoulder. He laughed.
"How dare you!" She cried, but he could tell by the look in her eyes that she was secretly impressed.
"You're the one who told me that patterns like that don't work with your fur!" He grinned, holding up his paws in faux-surrender. "It's not my fault I paid attention to your fashion advice!"
She huffed. "Well… I suppose I can't fault you for that, kitten. Frankly, I'm impressed at your audacity. I've trained you well."
He broke out into a huge smile. "Thanks!"
"I suppose it's unfair to hold your deplorable choice in legwear against you when I'm dressed like this. But, alas, you clearly read the invitation as well as I did," Purrl sighed with a languid shrug.
"Oh, yeah, speaking of— what was the invitation for, exactly? I'm completely lost here!" Bones exclaimed.
Purrl's torchlight eyes dimmed, growing distant and hazy. "Ah. Right."
As if to object to being ignored for so long, the mysterious slapping noise returned with a vengeance as something struck the cutout the two fashion disasters were hidden behind firmly.
Purrl hissed, throwing up an arm and steadying Bones against the rickety thing as it rattled precariously. She pressed her back against the cutout, holding her breath and waiting.
Nothing.
He tried to wriggle away from her arm, but she just pressed him further back, a bit harshly for his tastes. Then again, she'd also grabbed him pretty roughly to begin with. He supposed it was just a harsh sort of situation.
He stared at her, disbelieving, before shrugging and keeping still. If Purrl of all people was so amped about it, he figured it would be best to just follow her lead.
Silence, again.
"... You shouldn't have come here, kitten," she whispered to him, voice raspy and quiet. He blinked at her. "You should've run while you still had the chance."
"... Purrl, what're you talking about," he deadpanned, just as quietly.
Suddenly, a scream rang out. "Raughhh!"
Purrl jolted, pressing further against the plastic dinosaur. Bones, immediately forgetting his resolve to follow his friend's lead, peeked cautiously out from behind it, eyes widening as he saw Carmen run out into the open. She had something in her paw. She swung behind another cutout, and a yelp pierced the quiet. He saw Carmen stumble back a second later, paws over her face.
Suddenly, he watched, in cold realization, as she was pelted with at least a dozen water balloons in the span of about ten seconds.
She let out a strangled wail, backing away from the source of the madness, trying vainly to find any sort of cover. She tripped over her own feet.
A momentary break in the chaos.
"... Ah, shit, timeout! You good?!" Natallia's concerned voice called from behind the other dinosaur. He saw a glimpse of her hair, but at the angle he was at, he couldn't make out the rest of her.
Carmen sniveled a little. "Yeah, don't worry, I'm fine…"
"You sure?"
"Mhm…"
"Okay, cool," Natallia replied. "... Can I keep killing you, then?"
Carmen sighed, giving the ground a thousand-yard stare. "This is what I signed up for, when I decided to put my life on the line for the sake of my comrades, nougat. I'm prepared to face the consequences of my actions."
"Haha, nice!" Natallia cheered, audibly smiling. "HYAHHH!"
"Aughhhh!" Carmen wailed, yet another water balloon landing a direct hit to her chest. Eyes scrunched shut, she blindly chucked the balloon in her own hands— she'd been overwhelmed so quickly she hadn't even had the chance to throw it, he realized— towards Natallia's hiding spot.
"Eek!" He heard her cry. In that moment of distraction, Carmen was able to scramble behind yet another plastic dinosaur.
Sickly silence fell again.
Bones moved back behind his cover point, sinking in on himself. Purrl watched him with knowing eyes.
"You guys are having a water balloon fight?" He asked, already knowing the answer. He was starting to feel a huge smile stretching across his face as he began to see the game they were all playing.
"That's right, darling," Purrl confirmed, sounding genuinely haunted. "You're lucky I managed to get you when I did. You would've been eaten alive out there."
He shivered.
"We all thought it would be fun at first," Purrl lamented. "Ha! What fools we were then. We hadn't realized what we'd signed up for, playing against that fiend."
"Miss N?" He asked, tilting his head.
"She's a monster," Purrl said with a shudder. "I don't know what she's made of, but she can carry more water balloons at a time than I've ever seen. It's unholy. And she's got a hell of an arm, at that. She wasn't joking when she warned us that things were going to get intense. But I couldn't have imagined it would be this bad."
"Oh, man. Is it really that horrible?" Bones asked, eyes wide. Purrl always had a flair for the dramatic, so sometimes, it was hard to tell whether she was joking or being serious. Either way, it tended to be best to play along with it. He was pretty sure she was just playing a character, judging by the fact that she hadn't told him off for how widely he was smiling, but it didn't hurt to press her either way. "I mean, it's just water balloons, right?!"
"Oh, if only, kitten," she sighed. "The problem is the—"
"Oh, yoo-hoo!" Natallia cried out. Purrl froze, clamping her paws over her mouth, pupils sharpening into slits. Her fur stood on end.
Despite his better judgment, he peeked out from behind the dinosaur again.
He saw Natallia there, wearing a smile like nothing he'd ever seen. She was standing in the middle of the battlefield, right next to the blood-red bucket. Sure enough, she had one arm full of a truly intimidating amount of water balloons, the other free to perch confidently at her hip as she called out taunts.
"Come on, now! Aren't any of you going to come out and face me?!" She cackled. "I know you're all out of balloons! So what's it going to be?! Are you going to try and be heroes?! Run for the refill stations, make a last stand?! Or are you just going to let me have… These?!"
She reached into the bucket, tossing a newly-acquired water balloon up and down in her hands. Something was… Different, about it. Bones wasn't sure what just yet, but it was decidedly off. Silence rang out. He heard Natallia let out an eerie giggle, like some sort of horror movie villain.
"You're all cowards!" She laughed maniacally. "You hear me?! Cowards!"
She suddenly chucked the balloon at one of the cutouts. He heard a strangled cry from behind it as it exploded into a red, pulpy mess. He blinked at it, transfixed.
"What is that?" He whispered. Suddenly, Natallia's head snapped around to face him.
He dove back under cover without hesitation.
He heard another hair-raising laugh. "Ohh, Bonesie~! It's so good to see you came to play with us~!"
"Monster!" Purrl growled, near inaudible, against her hand.
"Hey, did anyone tell you the rules?" She called. He could tell, by the faint wet sound, that she was tossing another balloon up and down in her hands. "They're important! Gotta know the rules, buddy!"
Bones had enough self-preservation skills not to answer.
He heard a considering hum, before the sound stopped. "Well, just 'cause I like ya, I'll tell you anyway!"
He pressed harder against the cutout, ears perked in interest. Well, metaphorically, anyway.
"Rule one!" She called. "No face shots. I get it if it's an accident, but try not to aim there. I don't wanna give anyone a black eye if one of these suckers doesn't break."
A pause. "I mean, hopefully no one gets banged up in general. But knowing how these things are—" The sound of the balloon being tossed in her hands returned— "better safe than sorry, y'know?"
He nodded knowingly to himself. Yes, he knew how those things were.
"Rule two!" She called. "If you suspect anyone is banged up or injured, or if you wanna quit, call a timeout. No hitting anyone with balloons during timeout! Again, I don't want to actually hurt any of you. It's just a game. We're having fun!"
"We're not having fun," Purrl mock-whispered, but he could tell she was joking this time. Mostly.
"No hitting anyone you think is injured with balloons. That's uncool. We're having a good time, you know?" Natallia said, in a slightly scary tone of voice. "I'm sure you know. We're all reasonable people here. You got it."
He nodded to himself, although he knew Natallia couldn't see him anymore.
"Rule three!" She announced, and he could hear the mania return to her voice at full force now. "All of the water balloons are pretty standard, yeah? I filled 'em up and tied 'em myself! Lot of work, you know! Luckily, I'm something of an expert."
He heard her start to prowl around the center of the arena again.
"But these ones here, in the middle, see? They're special."
He could practically hear the wicked grin in her voice.
"I filled about a quarter of these with some really special stuff. Food dyes of all kinds, edible glitter, tomato soup, child-safe paint…"
He heard her pause again.
"... Okay, well, I'll be really honest. Only the one was filled with tomato soup. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fill a water balloon with tomato soup? I'll tell ya, it was not pleasant. Don't know what I was thinking with that," she said with a sigh. "Ah, well. At least none of you need to worry about getting drenched in that anymore, yeah?"
It occurred to him that the tomato soup balloon must've been what produced the red pulp from earlier. He shuddered. Holy shit, yeah, he was glad that it didn't hit him. That would be a nightmare to wash out of his—
Oh. He understood why Purrl was taking this so seriously, now. And everyone else, for that matter. He imagined tomato soup would be hard to wash off of anyone, whether they be covered in fur, feathers, or flesh. Natallia would probably have the easiest time of it, but with her hair even she'd probably have some trouble. Not to mention that, cleanup aside, the experience of being covered in tomato soup would probably not be pleasant.
Normally, he'd be optimistic that it'd at least provide a fun taste experience, but considering that the soup was being stored in a water balloon, in the hot sun… He shuddered, and quietly mourned the poor soup Natallia had sacrificed for such a heinous cause.
Still, that was probably at least part of why she was more fearless than the others, he guessed. That sort of thing probably didn't stick to her smooth skin nearly as bad as it would stick to them.
"Whatever," Natallia said, interrupting his train of thought. "The point is, this over here is the Bucket O' Fun! It's got all of the good stuff in it. At least, probably, haha! Might've mixed a few of the special ones into the other buckets, who knows!"
"She really is a monster," he realized. Purrl nodded solemnly.
"So I really, really hope you took my advice about not wearing anything you'll miss. Or carrying anything important with you. Cuz, uh… Yeah, I don't think any of us are recovering after this!" She said, with her big-smile voice. "Anyway… That's it! You're still good to play with us, yeah? You accept any liabilities? Natallia's Super Awesome Fun House doesn't tolerate lawsuits!"
He didn't answer. He could practically feel her smile growing wider.
"I'll take that as a yes!" She called. "Good LUCK!"
With that, she chucked a balloon full force at the dinosaur that he and Purrl were behind. He heard something thud against it and pop. He yelped.
"Ah, wet confetti~! Lucky~!"
"She's lost it!" He barked, at full volume. He heard Natallia giggle at him.
"Bones, you should've left while you had the chance!" Purrl whispered at him. "You're doomed!"
"... No…" He said.
"What?" She asked, blinking at him owlishly.
"... No, I can take her."
"What?!" Purrl cried. "Bones, are you insane?! You can't possibly expect to—"
Suddenly, he heard a startled squawk.
"Aww, come on, Robin!" Natallia said. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did you? I'd never neglect my favorite next-door neighbor~!"
With that, Bones dashed out into the open.
He only had seconds to process everything he saw. Three things clocked.
First, Robin, soaked in water from a blow to the shoulder. It seemed she'd gotten lucky and gotten pelted with a normal balloon. She was dressed in a pair of old pajamas, seemingly— a hot pink shirt with the words Beautiful Angel printed across it in a generic cursive font and a pair of old sweatpants. The shirt was not a color he'd ever seen her wear before, and its sleeves were torn off. She was a strange sight, staring at him with widening eyes.
Second, Natallia, facing away from him— just as he'd suspected, judging by her comment. Robin must've been trying to sneak up behind Natallia while she was distracted talking to him. She was whipping around to face him, lightning quick yet all-too-slowly. She stood dressed in a ratty black t-shirt and a pair of blue and green swimming trunks. She didn't mention that they'd be having a water balloon fight, so she was the only one who'd known to wear swimwear, by the looks of it.
And third, the remains of the legendary tomato soup balloon, splattered against Carmen's hiding spot. He did not envy Natallia's future cleanup job.
All of this, processed and engraved in his mind in the blink of an eye. And then, full focus on the task at hand. He knew better than to waste time looking at any of it for too long.
He used one hand to tug his shirt away from his stomach and another to scoop up a handful of balloons from the bucket, depositing them into the fabric to form a makeshift pouch. He dropped them haphazardly inside, but luckily, none popped against the stiff fabric. Then, of course, he kept running.
He heard a pair of startled yells. He didn't listen.
He dove for the nearest plastic dinosaur, dropping into a well-executed roll and making it just behind it.
The sound of exploding water balloons followed not a second later.
"Oh, you're so on—" Natallia started, before she was cut off with the sound of an impact and a loud squeak.
It was on now, indeed.
He heard the sounds of warfare erupting around him. He knew that Robin must've taken her chance the second Natallia was distracted by him. He listened to the two battling it out.
But then, a high-pitched, angry scream. Carmen— also joining the fight against Natallia, by the sounds of it.
"How dare you throw soup at Team Fruit Friends?! We'll destroy you!" She declared.
… Alright, so Robin and Carmen were allied, he noted. Good to know. He hadn't considered it before now, but Natallia never said teaming was against the rules.
That must've been why Purrl risked her own safety to rescue him, he realized. She was trying to make an ally of him.
Natallia, meanwhile, seemed to have no allegiance, but by the sound of it, she was making up for it with raw power. He heard Robin and Carmen let out twin startled cries in quick succession. He heard a third impact, and Robin let out a horrified scream.
It looked like she'd run out of luck the third strike around.
But, just when it seemed it was all over, he heard Purrl let out a truly terrifying war cry.
"This is for throwing wet confetti at me, you heathen!"
"GAHHH!" Natallia let out a horrible shout. "MILK! OH GOD, I FORGOT ABOUT THE MILK! WHY'D I FILL A WATER BALLOON WITH MILK, AND WHY'D I PUT IT IN THE WRONG— AUGHHHH!"
"Oh— oh, my, uh. T-Timeout, are you okay?" Purrl asked.
"Ughhh… I'm fine, just… Regretting my life choices… Oh god, it's warm—"
"Then we're on! Haaah!" Carmen interrupted.
"OOUGHHH— NOT THE PAINT—"
It was at that moment that Bones figured it was time to leap into action.
He rolled out from his cover point, and the balloons flew.
One, two, three.
And, sure enough, three matching shouts.
He grinned and readied himself again. "Yaahhh!" He cried, teeth bared in a massive grin. Without hesitation, he threw out another round.
"Eek!"
"Oof!"
"OHOUGHHH—"
"Ahh—! Why me?!"
"No one shall be spared from my wrath!" He declared. "I've spared you one strike, for your role in saving my life, but now I show no mercy!"
"You're the worst!" Purrl cried, scrambling back behind her triceratops cutout.
"Learned from the best!"
"... Well played."
He turned back to Team Fruit Friends and tossed two more balloons. Carmen and Robin were quick to follow Purrl's lead, going back to their own home base as quickly as they could as well. Bones stalked forward, swiping up more balloons from a bucket along the way.
He loomed over his final opponent.
It was just them, now.
Natallia was on the ground, for some reason. She stared up at him, wet hair sticking to her face— he wondered whether someone had accidentally aimed too high, or if her hair was wet from the puddle around her. It covered up one of her eyes, leaving it awkwardly twitching.
He tossed a balloon up and down in his right hand, the left still cradling his shirt pouch.
Natallia spat out a bit of red paint, glaring up at him with gritted teeth, stained in red.
"You…" She growled, struggling up from her prone position and up onto her knees.
"... Hold on, timeout," he said. "Did you swallow paint?"
"What?" He heard Purrl call.
"Paint?!" Carmen squeaked.
"It's fine, I picked the child safe kind for a reason!" She barked. "And I didn't swallow it! Some just happened to get into my mouth! Un-timeout!"
He blinked. "If you say so, I guess?"
She nodded, then struggled to get her hair out of her face. He got back into character.
"Your reign of terror is over, Miss N. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
She tucked the wet strands behind her ear, before finally giving him her full attention, glaring up at him defiantly…
… Only for her expression to shift into pure bafflement.
"Holy shit, Purrl wasn't kidding. Those shorts are awful."
His glare sharpened. He threw another water balloon.
"Ack—!" She startled. "... Fair."
"Your shorts are just as bad!" He barked. "Half of them are nearly the same color as mine!"
"Yeah, but at least they aren't short shorts. I mean…" She stared at his legs, and her expression changed into something he couldn't identify. "... Damn."
He threw a balloon.
"Oof!"
"Shut up about the stupid shorts! I'm ending your reign of terror! Get with it!" Bones demanded, stomping a foot.
Natallia's eyes sharpened, focus returning. "My reign of terror? Over?" She gasped, clutching at her sternum. Paint dripped off of her, staining her hands. "My reign of terror… Is only just beginning!"
Unhesitatingly, he dodged to the right and threw his balloon with all of his might. He heard another pop behind him, and a punched-out gasp from ahead. Natallia fell flat on her back, covered in water.
"T-Timeout!" He yelped.
She shot him a shaky thumbs up. "I'm just… Playing into… The Drama…" She gasped, as though in great pain.
He blinked, before shrugging, and lightly chucking another balloon at her.
"Oof!" She grunted.
He stepped up closer to her. Her limbs were starfished out around her. She stared up into the sky with unseeing eyes.
He reached out a free paw.
"What…!? What're you doing?!" Purrl cried from the sidelines.
"Get up," he said, voice low.
"... What?" She gasped, looking at him blearily.
"I said, get up."
She put a shaky hand in his. He hauled her to her feet.
"Do you know why I did this?" He asked.
"Why…? Isn't it obvious?" She scoffed. "To free your allies. To liberate them from my domination of the game. To put a stop to a greater threat."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "No, not at all."
"... What?" She breathed.
"I did this to prove a point. That I am the most powerful."
She gaped at him.
"Did you know I had six siblings growing up?" Bones said with a wolfish grin. "I'm the oldest of seven."
Her eyes widened in realization.
"All of my siblings, they'd team up against me, too," he said with a huge smile. "But I never lost."
"You're…! You're a monster!"
"No, you're the monster," he said. He grabbed a balloon from the pouch, and held it above Natallia's head. She flinched as he crushed it in his grasp, water pouring over her. "... But I'm something worse. I'm…"
He paused. He… Shit, he didn't know where that metaphor was going.
"... Doctor Frankenstein!" He decided.
Natallia blinked at him. Then, she started to howl with laughter.
Despite himself, he couldn't hold back a goofy smile.
"That's right! And now, you're under my power!" He cried. "Look at yourself!"
She stopped, and looked down. Her eyes widened.
Most of the paint had been washed away with the water. Bits of it still stuck to her, and milk still stained her sleeves, but the water had improved her situation considerably.
"Look at me!" He cried, and spread his free arm wide. She took him in.
Dry. Completely unaffected by the war that had been waged. Nothing to show for the hell he'd been in except for a bit of dirt, from all of the rolling around he was doing.
"Think! Think of how powerful we'd be together!" He grinned. He took her shoulder, and leaned in closer. "We'll crush anything that stands in our way."
She stared. Her pupils were blown a bit wide despite the bright light of the day, and her cheeks were growing red, likely with exertion. For a beat, she had no response. Then, slowly, she broke into a huge smile.
Bones' eyes flitted to something behind him. Casually, he reached out, and caught a balloon in his grip. Natallia flinched, and heard a startled cry. She turned, only to see Purrl, shaking, behind her.
"Purrl, you've gotta throw harder," he smiled despite himself. "Have you never played with water balloons before? You can't be that gentle, or they won't even pop!"
The cat trembled.
"You… You can't do this… I…" She let out a gut wrenching scream, surging forward with another balloon. "I TRUSTED YOU!"
He took one casual step to the side, and the blow missed entirely. Purrl's wide throwing arc had made her too easy to predict.
He just smiled. "Oh, Purrl… That was your mistake."
They played long into the afternoon, with a break halfway through to fill more balloons, laughing amongst themselves. They went on until the sun began to set and it was too cold to continue.
No one was able to stop Bones and Natallia's reign of terror. But in the end, Bones wasn't able to bring himself to use the Hell Balloons that Natallia had prepared; he didn't want to get paint in anyone else's mouths. The others, desperate as they were to stop them, had less reservations about that.
Ultimately, Natallia had received the worst of her own horrible balloon creations. When they finally called it quits, she admitted she probably deserved that much with a laugh. The others argued Bones was worse, because of his betrayal against them, but Natallia said that she was the one who created such horrible weapons in the first place. In the end, it was only right.
Bones ended up having a far harder time cleaning the muck out of his fur than the ocean's saltwater had ever given him.
He smiled through every second, remembering what fun he'd had. He wouldn't have had it any other way.
A/N: Welp. Needless to say, the October upload didn't work out so well, lmao.
In my defense, uh. A lot happened. Whole big short-notice trip that I wasn't aware was happening before the last upload, general school stuff, finals, holidays, then the start of a new semester... Yeah. Mostly fun times, and I'm doing well at the moment, but this kinda took a backburner for a minute, unfortunately. Apologies about that!
Not to mention, the struggles with this chapter... This wasn't exactly the plan for Chapter 7, I'll tell you that much, lmao. I THOUGHT I already had it halfway prewritten, but then I looked over that version, and felt nothing positive. Not good! And then, out of nowhere, it hit me: Water Balloon Fight. For reasons I can't discern, I suddenly NEEDED to write these goofballs having a water balloon war immediately. So, I figured, might as well follow that inspiration and write something I actually thought was fun, yeah? It'd probably be fine, I had a while to change things around. But then The Various Events occurred, and this chapter turned out to be the longest so far (I'm pretty sure) somehow, and now it's January. Oops.
At least it was fun, maybe? I'm not SUPER confident in this one, frankly. It's been a major pain to proofread, due to the length. I also leaned hard into the silliness and cartoonishness, evidently, which can be hit or miss. Not to mention that it's probably obvious that I haven't had a good water balloon fight in a while, haha. But even still, I had a good time writing it, at least, and I think it turned out good. "Refriendgerator" got a smile out of me. And Natallia's fucking awful tomato soup balloon... Yeesh, lmao.
Anyway, if you saw any inaccuracies about water balloon logistics in this chapter, no you didn't! :)
Also, how the heck do you write realistically bad fashion and subsequent fashion-based insults. Help. Purrl is definitely the type to lovingly mock her friends for their bad choices, but am I? Nope. So I have no clue, lmao. Hopefully those were passable!
Speaking of the fashion of this chapter, by the way, shoutout to Bones' horrible neon green short shorts! The reference with that was pretty obvious, but I simply couldn't help myself, lmao. Rewatched the show recently, which is ALSO what inspired the whole insatiable urge to write a water balloon fight in the first place. Good times. If you know, you know!
With that said, I'll leave it there. Thanks as always for reading! I think I'm officially ditching the upload schedule now, until things settle down enough for me to be confident in being able to consistent. Next chapter comes when it comes, hopefully February-ish. It'll either be a revised version of the original Chapter 7 that I actually LIKE, farmer's market shenanigans, or a secret third thing. We'll wait and see, I guess!