Alice drove to the Umbrella barracks where Sanitation was based out of. It was a good few hours' drive outside of town — for normal commuters. Alice's car could apparently top 200 MPH, and frequently did so as she raced south down the highways leading away from Raccoon City, arriving at her destination within an hour. (She'd passed numerous cops who'd begun pursuing her, but whilst running her plates in mid-pursuit their little cop computer spat out a message basically saying "This woman is the head of Umbrella, bother her at your own risk, idiot!" They wisely broke pursuit).

It was a basic military-esque looking base. I'm not describing it to you! They've been in countless movies and games and TV shows! Alice parked and made her way to the reception area. "Hey, where's Sanitation quartered?" Alice asked, impressed that she'd finally stopped giggling at the name.

"Oh, them," the receptionist smiled. "Our local heroes! Third floor, follow the signs," he said.

Alice was intrigued. "What do you mean by 'our local heroes'?" she asked.

The receptionist leaned forward conspiratorially. "Well, when that news broke this morning about what happened to High Command, naturally it took about five minutes for folks to put together that it was our Sanitation responsible. And what's more heroic in America than… killing your boss?" He broke into a satisfied chortle.

Alice joined him. "Yeah, that was fun times," she admitted. She stuck out her hand. "Alice Abernathy, your new boss." She rather relished the 'oh shit' look that crossed his face as he woodenly shook her hand. "Oh, relax," she admonished him. "I was there, after all." He seemed to relax a little bit, and even managed a small smile. "Hey, I heard that Umbrella's soldiers are technically a separate company from Umbrella itself. Is that true?"

The receptionist nodded. "Oh yes, ma'am," he said. "Though from my understanding the leadership is completely identical to Umbrella itself — leaving you as the sole owner and decision-maker until those positions get filled."

Alice nodded, thinking. She sure as hell didn't look forward to filling, what, thousands of empty roles? She'd probably have to if she didn't want to be buttfucked with paperwork 24 hours a day. (Now, buttfucked by Rain 24 hours a day…) "How about bennies? You guys get decent benefits being a separate company?"

The receptionist sighed. "…We do alright," he said. "But honestly, if we were part of Umbrella properly, we'd have so much better retirement and healthcare and shit."

"Really?" Alice asked. "Tell you what, email me the details, I'll see about getting it done." She jotted her email address out and handed it over.

The receptionist seemed skeptical. "…Okay, Miss Abernathy," he finally said, taking the paper.

Alice knew that if she talked to some money folks they'd probably wring their hands and whine "But the taxes!" or whatever bullshit justification it was that kept Umbrella from incorporating its private army. …Wait, should she even keep Umbrella's private army? Bah, questions for another day! As long as she did have one, she wanted to do right by them. That meant not nerve gassing them, that meant no hideously unethical medical experiments on them, no leaving them to die in a zombie-ridden city, and last but not least, paying them what they were fucking worth.

Alice took the elevator up to the third floor and followed the signs to Sanitation's designated quarters. There, she saw Vance reclined on a cot, reading some technical manual (he gave her a quick wave), Medic reading a psychology textbook, and One shining his boots. "Hey, One!" she said. "…Wait a sec, is One your actual name?"

"You can call me James, if you like," One said. "I go by One on missions for brevity and anonymity."

Alice considered this. "Makes sense. Though if you don't mind, I'll keep calling you One… it just sounds cooler, you know?"

A small smirk appeared on One's face. "That is another reason I go by that name," he confessed.

Alice laughed and high fived him. "So hey, I wanted to check in on you guys, see how you were doing." She glanced over to Medic. "How's she holding up?" she asked.

"Fairly well, all things considered," One said. "Warner and JD took her out to lunch today, wanting to show her a good time, reassure her that she's still her own person and a part of the team and so forth."

Medic saved her place and put her book down. "It was a restaurant called Olga's," she said. "It was a rather pretty name… I've been thinking about what to call myself instead of Medic… but maybe it'd be silly to call myself after a restaurant." She looked down, full of self doubt.

"Aw, hey, not a chance," Alice said, walking over to her and giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. "I knew a gal once who changed her name to K-Mart. Olga's is a fine name!"

"Well, Olga," Medic clarified, smiling shyly. "I've also been brushing up on psychology, to see if there's anything that can help me cope with, you know, being a clone, but… there's not really a lot that I'm able to relate to. Maybe people who experience complete amnesia, but it's not quite the same." She frowned. "I may have to forge a new field of study, but if it's just the two of us, it might not be worth it."

"Actually, there's a shitload of clones in this one secret Umbrella base in Siberia," Alice said. "I was gonna actually head over there to kinda break the news of their cloney nature to them, but maybe if you tag along you can help?"

Medic — Olga — lit up. "That sounds wonderful!" she said. "I'll start packing right away!"

Alice turned back to One. "Say, where are the others? Rain, JD, Kaplan, Warner?"

"Kaplan is troubleshooting the radio system of another squadron," One said. He rolled his eyes. "I swear, Olivera would find a way to break two cans tied together with string." He saw Alice's face contorted in a gigantic grin. "…What's the look for, Abernathy?" he asked.

Alice made an effort to school her expression. "That information is… classified," she said. No need to out Kaplan when there was a chance he wasn't gay in this universe, after all. Or Carlos, for that matter.

One had an idea as to what Alice was being cagey about — and he had the same idea too, for that matter — but he was nothing if not discreet. "Right. Warner is at the shooting range, and Rain and JD are sparring in the gymnasium in the basement. If you wanted to wait for them here, you could —"

"Could I go watch her — er, them — spar?" Alice asked, cutting him off.

One raised an eyebrow. Alice's behavior towards Rain in the mansion had not escaped his notice; no, there was definitely some kind of history there. She'd been flirting with one of his best soldiers before she'd even spoken a word, before even seeing her face. There was no way Alice could have known that Sanitation team was on their way, or who would be on it; she wasn't cleared for that information (at least, before she was elevated to President and CEO of Umbrella). It was a very curious puzzle, one to which he didn't yet have all the pieces. And that was saying nothing of Rain, and her attitude and behavior towards Alice. A whole separate mystery… or was it? "You're the head of Umbrella," he finally pointed out. "You can go anywhere on this base."

"Oh, duh," she said, laughing at her own oversight. She swiftly left the room; One, Olga, and Vance exchanged a quick glance and followed her. They joined her in the elevator just as it began closing. "Oh, all going down too?" she asked, surprised. "That's… that's cool." She was kinda-sorta hoping to ogle Rain discreetly, but if they all barged into the gym at the same time then that would just 100% take away the discreet part of that plan. Whatever.

When they arrived in the gymnasium, Alice saw Rain whaling on JD in the boxing ring, but he had those, uh, whatchamacallits? Punch pads? So not really sparring, just helping her hone her punches, I guess? JD noticed her first and broke out into a big grin. "Miss Abernathy, our illustrious leader!" he called out. Rain looked over as well but remained silent and stoic. "What brings you to our little corner of Arklay?"

"Oh, just organizing a little expedition out west," Alice said. "Olga's already agreed to come, and I was gonna ask… ohhhh, one, maybe two others out of Sanitation."

"Hey, I thought we were all coming along!" Vance protested. "You can't break us up like that! Sanitation is a team, okay? We're a complete set!"

Alice folded her arm together. "First off, Vance, this isn't a combat mission, alright? It's… practically a social visit." She waved her hand, dismissive of the exact nature of the visit to Umbrella Prime. "Secondly, I respect your cohesiveness as a team, and I have no intention of splitting you up in the long-term! Thirdly, I'm thinking about folding the PMC officially under the umbrella of… Umbrella… so you guys can —"

"BENEFITS!" Vance bellowed. He raised a hand up to One. "DUDE! …Uh, I mean… SIR! WE'RE GONNA GET FUCKING PAID!" One grinned; he had to high five at this news. Vance turned back to Alice. "You know what, Abernathy, you're cool, do what you want, split us up so we never see each other again. I'm gonna get a house with a pool, I'm gonna get my teeth fixed… this is the greatest day of my life!"

Up in the ring, JD snorted. "Leave it to you, Vance, to be distracted so easily." He turned to Alice. "Hey, Abernathy, long as you're here, why not step into the ring? I kinda owe you one after you gave me that sucker kick back in Looking Glass. Or are you afraid to muss up your dress?" Rain proceeded to glare at him.

Alice looked down and realized she was still wearing that classic red dress. "Oh, this old thing? I've got a million of 'em locked up in Nevada," she said coolly. "Sometimes I just wipe my ass with one and throw it right out." Vance and Olga inched away from her, on the off chance that she'd done the same with this dress and somehow failed to throw it out afterwards.

"So that's a yes?" JD asked. Rain glared harder.

"I dunno," Alice said. "Kinda doesn't seem like a fair fight."

XXX

JD had a sour look on his face. Vance was next to him in the ring, having been given his own pair of boxing gloves; Warner, similarly, had been Shanghaied from the shooting range and also readied for battle. "This is just absurd," JD groused.

"I just want it to be a fair fight," Alice emphasized (who'd gone and changed quickly into some workout sweats). Olga was behind her, ensuring that her hands were well and truly tied tightly behind her back, and wouldn't be slipping free until the knots were undone.

"Yeah, but both your hands?" JD said. "This is embarrassing!"

"Aw, don't be embarrassed, JD," Alice said, as comforting as she could manage. "Do you want me suspended from the ceiling by my feet instead? Would that make it more even for you?"

"Suspended by your… oh, fuck off!" JD said, watching Olga now fasten a blindfold around Alice's face. "You're just using this as an excuse to… to punish me, or demote me or something, the second I land a hit on you!"

Alice turned in One's general direction. "This place got surveillance cameras, One?"

"Yes, ma'am," he confirmed. "There's one at your two o'clock."

Alice turned roughly in the camera's direction. "I, Alice Abernathy, being of sound mind —"

"Doubtful!" JD heckled.

"Will give any member of Sanitation a one million dollar bonus for every hit they manage to land on my person during this sparring match. Anywhere above or below belt. Punch me in the cooter if you can. There will be no penalty or demotion or any other kind of retaliation for anything that occurs within this ring."

"So are you saying…" Warner said. "…That if we hit you, like, ten times… we get ten million bucks?"

Alice nodded. "Well, it goes to whoever lands the blow, but maybe this is your chance to exercise that vaunted teamwork and promise to split it three ways? I mean, the three of you working together is pretty much the only shot you'll have at even getting a single hit in on me, but the choice is yours."

JD, Vance, and Warner conferred amongst themselves for a few moments. JD turned to One and asked, "Sir, do you want in on this action?"

One knew a sucker's bet when he saw one. "Not on your life, JD," he replied.

JD gave his commander a curt nod and returned to the huddle. Then, agreeing on the three-way split, they got themselves into fighting stance. "Ready!" JD called out. Olga rang the bell and they slowly separated, quietly surrounding Alice who stood patiently in the ring's center.

"Now!" JD shouted and all three of them charged in for the killing blow, so to speak. Alice smirked, leapt straight up into the air, and landed a perfect spinning kick against all three of their heads, sending them crashing to the ground, groaning.

"You okay, fellas?" Alice asked. "Olga, get them out of the ring, make sure —" Under the blindfold, her eyes went wide and she threw herself to the side. Rain's leg flew through the air where she'd just been, barely missing her midsection. Alice had barely heard the slight gasp as Rain had inhaled before striking out. "Oh, nice one, Rain," she complimented. "Too bad you didn't join in with JD and co., you might have actually landed that one while they distracted me."

Rain snorted. "I don't need their goddamn help to hit you," she pointed out. She sent a few jabs Alice's way, who artfully dodged them, nimbly stepping over where Warner had fallen moments before.

"Maybe you need my help?" Alice asked. "Want me to stand stone still?" She rooted herself to the floor, then ducked as she heard Rain grunt, kick sailing just over her head.

"Fuck you!" Rain snarled. "Move your ass!"

"If you insist," Alice said, turning away from Rain and giving a little shimmy in her hips, jumping forward at the last second as Rain attempted to boot her booty.

"Stop fucking around," Rain demanded. "Actually fucking fight me!"

"Alright," Alice said, lashing out with a kick almost faster than the eye could follow. Rain blocked it, tried to grab hold of Alice's ankle to pull her off balance, but her gloves lacked enough purchase on her limb to succeed in the maneuver. Alice threw herself into a roll, trying to bowl Rain over, but the other woman leapt up in time. Rain attempted a quick backwards kick but Alice was already up again on her feet.

Back and forth they went, kick-miss, punch-punch-miss-miss, kick-dodge, punch-dodge, on and on, their sparring match metamorphosing into a graceful, if violent, ballet. Their blows and counterblows and dodges and feints were almost choreographed, such was their precision. If one didn't know any better, one would assume they'd planned it out in advance… or had some kind of psychic connection.

But that would be absurd, wouldn't it?

"Sir… is this kinda hot?" Warner murmured to One (the male challengers having been quickly cleared off the ring early on).

One was unable to tear his eyes away from the display. "Can that shit, soldier," he murmured back.

The end soon came. Rain broke into a dash, chasing Alice across the length of the ring, cornering her against one of the posts… or so she thought. Alice launched herself up with one foot on the ropes, giving her enough air to push off the top of the post, flipping backward in midair, grabbing Rain around her torso with her legs as she fell, pinning her arms to her side. Rain made one last desperate surge forward, but this just meant she fell forward instead of backward, Alice straddling her on top.

Alice was panting heavily, drenched in sweat as adrenaline coursed through her veins. In the other timeline, she'd only ever been intimate with Rain as a walking corpse. While she had loved her smells, her tastes, the texture of her rotting skin, Rain alive was a wholly different picture. This Rain sweated and breathed and Alice could feel the woman's heart beating like a jackhammer… and with her crotch pressed firmly against Rain's upper back, that meant this fight had to end now or… or Alice would make an extremely public embarrassment of herself. She leaned in close behind Rain's head and muttered, "Do you yield?"

Rain whipped her head back like lightning, breaking Alice's nose with a satisfying CRACK (and instantly extinguishing the growing fire in Alice's loins). "Yeah, I think that should do it," Rain remarked, as Alice rolled off her, groaning in pain. "Hey, is that million tax-free?" Rain asked.

"Y-yeah," Alice muttered, as Olga crawled up into the ring to examine her. "What's the prognosis, doc?" Alice asked, licking up the drops of blood that leaked from her nose down into her mouth.

Olga grasped Alice's schnozz and wrenched it back into place. "That should do it," she said. "I'd check in with a doctor when you get a chance to make sure everything's alright, though." She removed Alice's blindfold and wrist bindings.

Alice nodded as she rubbed feeling back into her wrists. "That was a great fight, Rain," Alice said. "I'd love to do it again sometime."

"Yeah," Rain said, noncommittally, looking remarkably downcast for someone who'd just landed a million-dollar hit.

"Hey, how'd you like to be my bodyguard?" Alice asked.

Rain shook her head. "You need a bodyguard about as much as a fish needs a bicycle."

"Well, what if a fish needed to go from Pond A to Pond B to see its fish girlfriend, and the only way to get there is a kid with a bicycle who has a fishbowl glued to his handlebars?" Alice asked.

"Glue is a terrible means to fasten glass to metal," Rain pointed out.

"Fine!" Alice said, throwing up her hands. She leaned forward and lowered her voice a few octaves. "There are, of course… benefits to being my bodyguard."

What are you fucking doing? Imaginary Rain snapped at her inside her head. What did I tell you about coming on too strongly? Besides, she's your EMPLOYEE now! This is super fucking inappropriate!

Rain scrutinized Alice for a moment, a guarded look on her face. "Pay raise?" she asked.

Alice let out a relieved breath and smiled brightly. "You know it!"

Rain considered this for a minute, her face inscrutable. "Sure, why the hell not." She whipped her head towards JD and the rest. "But I swear to god, I find one diaper in my locker, it's going right up your asses." She marched off to the showers, t-shirt and shorts drenched in sweat.

Alice scrunched her eyebrows together. "Why would she find diapers in her locker?"

Vance and Warner were too busy giggling, so One stepped up. "Bodyguard duty is seen as… a little demeaning for us," he said. "The VIPs we're usually tasked to guard are… less than capable in a lot of little ways," he said, as neutrally as he could manage.

"He means that usually 'bodyguard' is a euphemism for 'babysitter'," JD clarified. "So whenever one of us gets the thankless job of looking after some executive pukestain, they tend to find a pack of diapers, or a jar of baby food, or a rattle, or something like that in their locker."

Alice laughed. "That is funny," she agreed. "Anyone who implies that I'm a baby will lose their ability to control their bowels. Permanently. Understood?" She grinned toothily and cracked her knuckles. The Three Stooges all gulped and nodded simultaneously. "Excellent! Oh, and one of you has to draw straws to go keep an eye on Alicia while I'm out of town."

One cleared his throat. "Ma'am, if it's alright with you, I'd like to volunteer to come along with you on your assignment."

"What, afraid ma will seduce you?" Alice smirked. "Sure thing, buddy, it'll be just like old times. You, Olgs, and Rain be at the airport by 9 tonight, okay? Bye!" She waved to them all as she got back onto the elevator, leaving One to wonder just which old times she was referring to, and why she felt the need to pluralize them.

XXXXXXXXXX

Girlfight is the name of the first movie Michelle Rodriguez starred in. I haven't seen it in years, but I remember it was really fun!

Olga's is a real regional restaurant chain, with Greek-ish cuisine. Raccoon City would probably have one.

Apologies for the late chapter uploads; things in the ol' personal life have been a bit hectic the past week or so. Our cat had a medical emergency which is hopefully behind us now! The next batch of chapters for my stories will arrive (hopefully) just after midnight on the 15th, as is usual.